#but like yeah this is just my little essay about sacrifice and love and how they’re intertwined

[legendoftherisingtide]

[intro]

Bakugou is a prideful, arrogant person. He holds himself to the highest standard; he is the best and everyone else is simply below him. Everything he has ever done was in pursuit of being number one, shining above the rest. He has to have a perfect victory, he has to be a perfect student, he has to win to save.

He pushes and pushes and won’t let anyone see his weaknesses or his insecurities. He can never lose, he can never fail, he can never show that he regrets or hesitates or that he hasn’t thought everything through. He must never be vulnerable in every sense of the word.

Then why is he standing in the rain.

To apologize shouldn’t be a sacrifice, but it is for Bakugou. To pour his feelings, to admit his wrong, to let down all of the walls he has built and be vulnerable. And in front of his whole class.

He is willing to sacrifice his pride, to fully sacrifice any superiority he could have, to bare his soul and even risk rejection. Because he knows Midoriya is more important. Because he wants him to come home, he wants him to know his true feelings, because he wants things to change. 

Because Midoriya has changed him. Midoriya has opened his eyes; by showing him he’s allowed to be open, that his feelings should be expressed, that he has so much to learn, and so much of that was learned through Midoriya just existing.

He isn’t sacrificing his safety frivolously because he’s expected to as a hero; he is doing it because he has grown. He is doing it because he has finally admitted to himself that he wants Midoriya to be with him and safe.

So I will sacrifice this for you. Not because it will change anything, as much as I want that I know that I can’t just fix all the wrong with just this. And I am willing to do as much as it takes to earn your forgiveness. But I don’t need that from you, not now and not ever if you don’t want that, I just need you to rest. I did so much wrong. And I am sorry for everything. You don’t have to do this alone. Lean on us. You are so strong and being supported doesn’t discount that. You’ve taught me that. 

I hate the rain. But I will brave it for you. 

He would do everything in his power, admit so many things, just to get Midoriya to take care of himself. We see him being the most vulnerable he has ever been in front of people that aren’t Midoriya. He does so much completely out of character, all in pursuit of being there for Midoriya. 

For Izuku.

He finally gets over himself and finally tells Midoriya the feelings he has felt for so long.

He lets go of this idea he is inherently better and finally acknowledges that his hatred for Midoriya has always been about his own shortcomings and insecurities. But he still wants to be better, they are still rivals. He isn’t going to sacrifice that part of him because that is just who he is; he is still going to push to number one.

But now it’s different.

There is verbal and vocal acceptance and respect. Before it was unspoken; their relationship had changed ever since Ground Beta. They were proper rivals, with mutual respect and care, they were actively making each other better.

But Bakugo finally verbalizes it and tells Midoriya, not only is he sorry, but he wants to actually have a proper friendship; he wants to continue to become better and earn his forgiveness. He wants them to push each other to be better, he wants to continue to fight for the top spot, he still wants to be the best.

But when did it become something else? 

When was the turning point when it started to shift from wanting to surpass Midoriya and be the best, to wanting to keep up with Midoriya and stay by his side?

Bakugou has already sacrificed himself for Midoriya before. His body moved on its own; with no hesitation, he would save Midoriya. He has already risked his life for him. But there is a layer to it that I don’t think people talk about. 

He tells Midoriya he shouldn’t try to win this on his own. 

He disguises his concern with an insistence that he’s in it to fight for himself when he initially joins the battle. But it is to fight by Midoriya’s side and support him.

But taking the hit for Midoriya, jumping in the way isn’t just support. This is sacrifice. This is giving yourself to ensure the safety of someone. And it was second nature. 

There are two reasons and both are a sacrifice of something in the moment.

It is knowing someone is so valuable, so great, in all senses of the word, that they must be protected. Bakugou is sacrificing his body and admitting that Midoriya needs to stay alive, for personal reasons and/or for the world. He needs Midoriya to be okay, Midoriya can’t fight alone and Bakugou will do anything to make sure he will be okay. 

But the sacrifice of ideology. 

With every development, he has relinquished parts of himself. When he sacrifices himself he is not only sacrificing his body but is admitting that he can’t do this on his own; he needs Midoriya too. This isn’t him wanting to be better than Midoriya, it’s him wanting to do it together.

Midoriya changed him.

He doesn’t die for Midoriya. He wakes up and just as his last thought was Midoriya, so was his first as he woke up. He runs to his side. People are dragging him back, trying to have him rest, knowing before he even said anything that he would lose his mind over Midoriya’s situation. 

Everyone sees how Bakugou feels about Midoriya.

He sacrifices himself because Midoriya can not die on him. Midoriya has to stay alive. Midoriya has to keep fighting. 

There can not be a world that doesn’t have him in it.

This is the culmination of what has been developing ever since the final exam where Bakugou finally works with Midoriya; the day that win to save, save to win was noticed. Then furthered after Ground Beta where they finally talked to each other and something changed within them both.

But the final sacrifice is the culmination of Bakugou’s character.

He knows what this decision will mean. Everyone screams for him not to. He knows that he is going to die. He knows he will not win this fight.

This isn’t dying for the cause. This isn’t just a hero complex. This is because he can help Midoriya and he will. This is for Izuku.

I will sacrifice myself for you. To give you more time, to give you even the slightest chance of winning. I will sacrifice myself for you because you are who can win. I am going to die. I am going to die and in my final thoughts, I will ask if I will still be able to be by your side.

It is no longer can I beat you. It is no longer can I surpass you. It is can I still catch up to you. It is can I still even be equal to you. He has already sacrificed the idea that he could beat Midoriya, that isn’t what he wants anymore. What he wants is to stay here with him.

I will sacrifice everything I am. I have wanted to be the best. All my life I have wanted to surpass you and everyone around me. But you. I will let that go for you. I let it go in my mind for so long now and I have never wanted to admit it. Is it even possible? Is it even possible for me to catch up to you? Is it even possible for me to stay by your side. I can’t be that anymore. I am sacrificing even that now. I will never be number one now. I will never become the person I always dreamed to be. I will never surpass you. I am forever sacrificing that now. I will die here.  

But can I still be with you?

The sacrifice of his life is him fully relinquishing everything he is, admitting that he can’t keep up, losing all of the progress he has made, letting go of everything that made up his character.

And the last thing on his mind is if he can still be able to be by Midoriya’s side.

He won’t let him go again. 

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

Watching this video essay about Yellowjackets and somehow HOTD came up and I saw the tweet and I roll my eyes so hard

Uh. Yeah. Bc she uses the faith (basically Catholicism or Christianity) to act as this pious queen when she is paying maids to keep their mouths shut about her own son raping them.

And she didn't just hang up some four pointed stars, if I remember, she REPLACED, the targs sygils with the faith of the seven stuff.

Alicent stans just love to forget her fanaticism until they can use it to make her look more pathetic. I have to say, accusing Rhaenyra of religious fanaticism is a new to me lmao. I've only ever seen people call her a godless whore, but I'm not on X, so maybe I've been spared.

Targaryen antis don't seem to grasp just how much of the Valyrian culture the Targaryens have given up for the sake of Westeros. Calling the Valyrian wedding ceremony an "arcane marriage ritual" is not only insulting to the Valyrian culture but also completely hypocritical.

Valyrian culture was steeped in magic, they themselves have magic in their blood. Is it any surprise their marriage customs would be the same? That's like expecting the Starks' ceremonies to happen separate from the Old Gods. The Targaryens have given up their gods, most of their magic, their language, and their marriage traditions. They never forced other people to follow their traditions, they never forbade following the Faith and the Old Gods, they fucking conformed as much as possible aside from the incest, which was the only way they know to preserve the last bit of Valyria's magic.

Alicent wouldn't be seen as a religious extremist if she didn't actively repress and hate other religions. She badmouths the Valyrian traditions, not just the incest, but also their love of dragons and their art. She removes all the Valyrian and Targaryen heraldry and artifacts and replaces them with the the symbols of a religion known for being intolerant and repressive.

As I said earlier, the Valyrian culture is dying out and the Targaryens have given up so much of their mother land. Removing the last pieces of someone's culture just because you follow a different religion is fucked up. Alicent isn't even the actual ruler or a Targaryen, it's not her place to choose to abandon their Valyrian heritage while her husband is too sick to interfere.

But the real issue of Alicent's actions are her motivation. She doesn't actually care about morality and her own religion, she cares about supporting Aegon and undermining Rhaenyra. That's why she criticizes Valyrian incest then turns around and forces Helaena to marry Aegon. That's why she calls Jace and Luke savages when her own son bullies his siblings constantly and later rapes women. That's why she harps on about honor and decency while actively protecting and covering up the actions of a rapist, a murderer, and a kinslayer. That's why she removes the Valyrian heraldry while Rhaenyra is gone and replaces them with the symbols of the Faith.

She's literally the definition of the hypocritical woman for Trump. She harps on and on about morals then turns around and does reprehensible things for her own gain. She complains constantly about a culture different from hers and actively tries to remove its influence. She hates people who don't conform to her ideas.

Alicent isn't a good person, period. She's a hypocrite, constantly upholds the patriarchy, sacrifices others for the sake of her interests, and is xenophobic. The efforts to take her flaws and project them on other characters, usually Rhaenyra, by her stans is ridiculous and really shows how little they actually like her character. They like her aesthetic and the idea of a perfect suffering victim.

[cynthiav06]

What makes Klayley different from other series ships for you?

I am assuming you mean other ships in the orignals by that.

It's the really simple case that's not simple at all. It's the underlying passion between them that just won't go away no matter who they take as a lover. The burning anger, loathing, care, loyalty, and the inexplicably undying connection that keeps them tethered to each other always and forever, come hell or highwater.

Mikael almost killed me and the baby, but i can't help but be more worried about how Klaus suffered all these years, I need to comfort him.

The witches are murdering me and the baby. Forget Elijah , I need Klaus here.

The witches stole baby hope? Not important right now, Hayley's dead, and I need a moment or several to take it all in.

I don't really love Jackson, but Klaus needs me to marry him, so I will.

I have to deal with my newly risen from dead mother and father, but whether Hayley's new husband is treating her right or not is more important.

Hayley tried to run from me, and I am extremely furious, but I can't bear to kill her or physically hurt her.

I will hate Klaus forever, but I can't really hate him at all.

My siblings are in trouble and may need my immediate help, but the road trip with Hayley is the best fun I have had in centuries, and I love it too much to stop now.

I am the strongest and the proudest being on earth. I kneel to no one, especially not to scum like Lucien, but he has Hayley, and I would never let her die. She means too much to me. I have to kneel to save her, no problem, I will do it a thousand times if it's to save her.

I love my Pack a lot, but the Mikaelsons are dying, Klaus is dying, so my pack can go to hell. I will save him and the Mikaelsons even if I die .

I have to let go of my dignity as a wolf and kill, lie, massacre all to save Klaus and Mikaelson family. And I used to have a problem with that, but it's for Klaus, I can't watch him suffer, so i will do it gladly.

Klaus is going around the world, massacring everything in sight and trying to cut contact, but I will never give up on him.

Being in New Orleans near hope will bring forth Apocalyspe that might kill hope, but Hayley's missing, so all else be damned.

I am being killed, and Klaus is being attacked by Elijah. He's hurt, Hope's hurt, so I am going to kill Greta and sacrifice myself for them because Klaus and Hope are my family Elijah be damned.

My daughter is dying and meets me in the afterlife, but the second I hear Klaus's voice, I know all will be alright.

My brother, my companion, my only confidant who I would go insane without is dead to me for good because he killed Hayley, and there's no greater offense than that.

I am in hell. My heart feels empty. Hayley is dead. I can sacrifice Elijah to save hope and kill the hollow, but I vowed to Hayley that I would do anything to save our daughter so I will sacrifice myself. [Also because I can't live without my little wolf]

So yeah, it's you know, soul shattering stuff like this that keeps me hooked to Klayley. Nothing huge. This and all the other essays I wrote should be plenty enough evidence as to why. (Sorry for the late)

And here's the thing anyone who watched the Orignals and isn't blind should be shipping them intensely, too.

[misc-obeyme]

I have so many thoughts. SO MANY THOUGHTS.

Spoilers for Lesson 20 under the cut.

From a storytelling standpoint, Lesson 20 was kind of underwhelming for me. It was kinda boring.

Everything is totally resolved and then we have a party? And MC is given the completely pointless title of Devilsitter? And the Celestial Realm is just like yeah okay see ya.

Seriously, Diavolo? Everybody knows you just made that up. Also why did they have to give him that goofy hat? I think this would've been a little more impactful if he'd been in demon form, you know? Anyway...

It felt like we went through all of that for a whole lot of nothing.

It also feels like they want to tell a more complicated story and that's why this whole separate app situation began. But then they were like well we wanna keep some of the overall vibe, so it still has to have seasons and the first one still has to be twenty lessons. Like they should've just scrapped that and let the story play out how needs to. Because I felt like they were just putting filler in there so that they could extend the Nightbringer part of the story into the next season.

All that aside, though, there were things I did enjoy about the lesson, mostly involving the usual character shenanigans.

Sometimes it really feels like Simeon is just always on the outside, longing to be part of this family. He loves them so much he's willing to sacrifice his own standing to help them, but he also knows he's not part of them. We already knew this of course, considering he does exactly that in the OG to make sure MC gets to stay with them. I just feel like Simeon is so selfless. And it's kind of heartbreaking? I just want to hug him.

And oh, my sweet precious Barbatos... if you choose him to escort you, he says some amazing things.

YES. TAKE ME. I'M READY.

Is this the fancy butler way of saying I love you? Don't misunderstand, I am so soft for sweet kisses to the back of someone's hand, but if you think that's gonna cut it, sir, I really need you to try harder.

What can I say, I just want Barbatos to profess his undying love. I want him to break his butler persona and spill his heart out. I want him to actually tell us exactly how he feels and what he's been through and how hard it must have been to live the way he has for so long with the power of time and space at his fingertips. Ugh. Okay, sorry I'm getting off track here. We already know I could probably write another couple of essays about Barbatos aside from the one I've already written lol.

I would be remiss if I didn't talk about Solomon in this lesson, too...

I thought this was an interesting reaction from him when MC asks him to be the brothers' ally. Like yeah, obviously not against the human world, but this was about keeping the brothers in the Devildom? I'm trying not to read too much into it since it could just be that they wanted to make it seem like MC was the one who convinced everybody and stuff. Like okay whatever!

But truly the best Solomon moment was if MC chooses him to give them the "special emblem."

SOLOMON. My stupid wizard loving heart can't take it when you say stuff like this!

And then the forehead kiss, I was just like this is so soft and sweet I'm losing my miiiiind.

What can I say about it other than it was great? Of course I went back and chose all the options. Having Diavolo or Lucifer give you the emblem is pretty sweet, too. But there is just something next level about it being Solomon because of the whole master/apprentice thing, but also because he's the only one who knows what you're really going through. I just really love him, okay?

Lastly, I have to say I was a bit surprised with Mephisto in this lesson... he's starting to grow on me.

Mephisto! I'm pretty sure that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!

For once, I agreed with him. Also, if it was actually me, I'd be like your arguments are pointless because my last dance is going to be with Thirteen.

I was expecting a little more after the end credits, but it was just a repeat of those weird Nightbringer lines from one of the earlier lessons... I can't remember which one it was. I was really expecting Nightbringer to make a final appearance, but nope.

The hard lesson completely blew my mind, though. I have to make a separate post just for that.

In the end, this lesson had some good parts, but it definitely just felt like filler because they needed to end the season. We're not getting any real answers until next season, apparently. I swear if I have to wait for a season three for some decent answers, I will be flipping tables.

Of course, I'm really just here for the hot anime characters so... I'll just go back to simping as soon as I'm done table flipping lol.

[illmetkismet]

for the character thing, the outsider?

🙏🙏🙏 thank you so much, and a please accept my preemptive apology for the essay this will probably become...

How I feel about this character: I was saving this one for last from the batch of asks I got for this game, because the Outsider is my specialest boy of all time 🥹 I played D1 and was like, 'oooh how fun and sexy, a mysterious Void god!' but then D2 happened with the whole Omelas-ass reveal and my brain melted like a caterpillar in its chrysalis into a soup of sadness and suffering from which the beautiful butterfly of my borderline-unhealthy obsession with the Outsider emerged. You can't just give me a character who's a metaphor for isolation, expulsion, and profound loneliness, and not expect me to pick him up and put him in my pocket forever. Do I project onto him? Over-identify, even? Yeah, shut up, so whaaaaaat? Aren't all of us trapped in a Void of our own, really? Who here hasn't been forever altered by the cruelty of others? And who among us isn't constantly sticking their fingers in the pie of life, poking around in there, hoping against hope to find some glimmer of goodness and hope and joy? Who isn't sick of all this shit and just wants to rest?? Ha ha as you can see I'm totally normal about him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Just Corvo. He fascinates the Outsider, he surprises him, he's the catalyst for the kind of moments the Outsider says he waits for (this is, crucially, a line you only get from him after the low chaos Burrows elimination). I think the Outsider's been searching for someone who won't disappoint him for such a long time, someone he could give a piece of himself to who won't turn around and do something terrible with it. Like.... Come on! That's it, for me. To love is to give yourself away a little bit, to be surprised when the person who receives that gift treats it with the seriousness and consideration it deserves. And that's Corvosider 🖤🖤🖤

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Billie's whole journey to find him, and the understanding she comes to about him means so much to me.... 100% they become friends post-DotO. Letting him live is her way of letting herself live, to put her past behind her and prove to herself, once and for all, that she's more than a killer. And for the Outsider, she's the one person who could best understand the truth of what he is, how he was made into what he is, because in a way she's had the same done to her. The world fucked them both over so hard and forced them into these untenable positions that caused them both so much pain.... Oh god I have to stop thinking about this. They're best bros for life, next question!

My unpopular opinion about this character: I definitely prefer D2 Outsider over D1. I know ppl were very invested into the whole whale god thing, but his human sacrifice backstory was what really did it for me. Plus I love the way Robin Lord Taylor voiced him - the Hollows speeches in DotO make me so fucking emotional... He does a great job of going from bitchy to breathily earnest, and the emotional whiplash that gives me is very fun. Plus the way he scrunches his nose a little sometimes! Aaaaaa D2 Outsider my favorite son!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Obviously I really really really wanted to see what he would get up to after he became human again, cause uh, I wrote a novel about it lol.... But one thing I really wanted to see, that I didn't even do myself, was for the Outsider to go meet Sokolov, finally, as a mortal. I think that would be such great closure for both of them: for Sokolov to see indisputable proof that the power he was chasing was terrible and cruel (something he realized for himself in his final years, but meeting the Outsider would have driven this home beautifully), and for the Outsider to conclusively put away his old fickle relationship with humanity. For both of them to see each other as human beings, to really understand how fucked up the way they related to each other was. I'd love that!

[rhaenizziettie]

Legacies 1x05 Rewatch:

The Dryad, I've missed her

I actually love how they show the evolution of the school with stuff like adapting to monsters and giving the students a voice

No because who takes over Raf's spot on the Honor Council when he dies

"YoU'rE nOt GoNnA lOsE tHe ElEcTiOn OvEr An OuTfIt." Why is it so hard for Josie to just support her sister for once.

"Lizzie Saltzman only cares about Lizzie Saltzman." You mean the Lizzie Saltzman, who does everything for her sister and sacrifices her life over and over again for every other student in that school?

"You still like it when I went low." "Oh, honey, you crush on me." Posie needed more than one season.

"We're not negotiating. Right, Ric?" "Uh ..." Dorian as headmaster would have been a great storyline.

Watching Rafael and Jed spar makes me realize that Finch never got to meet Rafael. What a wasted opportunity.

" You're mocking me." "Yeah but just a little bit." When I say Dorian and Alaric had more chemistry with the Dryad than they did with Emma or Mac ...

" Sometimes in the human world telling the truth can do more harm than good." OH THIS IS ABOUT THE MERGE. MM HMM.

"I see it in their smiles, in their laughter. I still see her sometimes." Going to cry thinking about that last scene in TVD

"You straight up refuse to swim across the lake." "Excuse the foster kid for never having swim lessons." And now he literally lives, immortal, ferrying across a lake.

Testing his ability to get away from you as fast as possible, Hope? Little Miss Hold on Tight?

So if Malivore's DNA showed up as literally everything, why did Landon's DNA show no supernatural history? Why didn't it raise any red flags?

"It's so nice to know you all love me as much as I thought you did." She's a comedian because I know she knows those kids hate her ass. They attended a book club reading of her diary. They laughed at her funeral. They did NOT love her and she knew it.

"Jackass Jed." If there's one thing the Saltzman twins know how to do best it's come up with nicknames.

"Say no more. I know how much it means to you and I would be happy to help." She needs a hug.

Tell me again how it's Lizzie who's getting in the way of Josie's romantic life?

What is the SBS sex ed class like because the amount of STD jokes those students make is kind of wild.

Not Josie giving away Lizzie's pink sweater ... like we never even got to see her wear it before you did that ...

"I've always wanted to be part of a power couple." Oh boy do I have news for you Lizzie

No, because Handon's "I don't want to be special" x "I need to be special" dynamic is so delicious

"You know, you can only hold out hope for so long and be hurt by so many people before it starts to seems impossible to trust someone new." "Do you trust me?" "Of course I do." Handizzie excellence.

Why did they have to do S1 Jed so dirty

"I'm trying to rise above it. So let me freaking rise."

"I'm a tribrid. The only one of my kind. No one can represent my interests but me." So does Lizzie finally get her spot on the council after becoming a heretic?

Did the Honor Council just disappear after Hope was forgotten??

Imagine if Lizzie had brought the truth orb with her when she hunted down Hope and confessed to being in love with her

Josie using her father and her sister almost dying since Landon arrived as an excuse to kick him out is kind of funny when you remember that later she kills her sister and doesn't care when her father stuck in a coma and on his death bed.

"This school is family." Guess nobody there can like each other now

That's TWO magical trees in the Legacies universe now ...

"What did I ever do to make you hate me so much?" No because one day I will write an essay on how all of Josie's love interests end up hating Lizzie for no reason and/or misinformed reasons and there's one common denominator.

"It's not about you. It's about how you treat Josie." Is that not literally about her. Like if your problem is that she doesn't exist solely to serve Josie, isn't that having a problem with her??

"Did you think to ask her if she wanted to run for council before you assumed you'd win?" DID YOU?? BECAUSE THAT GIRL LOOKED LIKE SHE WANTED TO DIE AS SOON AS SHE HAD TO MAKE A DECISION ON THE SPOT LIKE THAT.

The irony in Penelope telling Lizzie that she's left Josie with no room for herself when it's actually the opposite way around. Like real quick Miss Park, which one of them are you telling that they can't pursue their interests because the other twin might want it too?

I will never understand why Penelope acted like Lizzie and Josie couldn't both run for council. It was an open election. All she had to do was put her name in.

"She spends all her energy taking care of you." To recap in the past four episodes she has spent her energy trying to win over Rafael, trying to convince everyone to hate Penelope and not talk about her, trying to get offensive magic put into the school curriculum, trying to get everyone to lose the football game, and trying to drive a deeper wedge between Hope and Lizzie during community service. Now which part of that is taking care of Lizzie?

"You are a black hole of time and energy and love." Is the time and energy and love in the room with us right now?

"She won't ever burn you world down." The foreshadowing to her literally burning the school down ...

Every day I wish Penelope would have been around to see Josie in her black lipstick era.

No because what happened to pretty shots like the Handon kiss? When did TV shows stop caring about cinematic beauty and nicely lit shots and fantastic coloring??

Sandwiches are a Handon thing

"I have a family friend who's expecting you." The fact that we never see Landon with the Mikaelson family friend ...

Every time I see Raf and Lizzie's scene, I think about that post about how lesbians use hetero sex as a form of self harm and there has never been a better example to exist in all of history. Like what part of being told that you're the worst person in the world makes you horny??

Also Lizzie Saltzman kiss a guy without crying challenge. Like sweetie if you're crying every time you have to kiss them, maybe it's for a reason.

Every time I hear Someone to You on the radio I get chills because of this episode

[inmarbleimmobility]

1.1.6 - How He Protected His House

THE ONE WITH THE CHAIRS!!! my youngest brother and i goof about this chapter All The Time because this is as far as he ever made it in the brick. so sometimes we'll be at a holiday gathering and my mother will inevitably ask about how many of us there are while setting the table and my brother will go, "seven? yeah we have enough chairs for that, we could do up to eleven actually, it would be more but that one upstairs is too big-"

anyway!

"the most beautiful of altars [...] is the soul of an unhappy man who is comforted and thanks god" is fascinating. on the surface obviously he's talking about how compassion and love are more important than material goods. but also, the altar is *the* single most important part of a physical church to the point that the church is essentially built around it - compassion and love are the center around which Myriel's entire belief system (and the one Hugo argues for) is built.

I love that Myriel has "pupils from the secondary school" over!!! I'm imagining like tea in the headmaster's office but it's with the nice old bishop who just loves hearing about everything you've been learning lately

the bit about Baptistine's sofa dreams is actually kind of crushing?? "whoever attains the ideal"???? Hey Hugo, I know this is The Miserable Book but that's a little bit of a downer even for you. like, no, material things shouldn't be the ideal, of course! beautiful furniture is no substitute for the things that truly matter! (which, if I had a nickel...) But I feel so bad for her here. Let a woman have her one velvet sofa. (also, for someone who's going to talk so much about a certain "priest of the ideal" later, that's a weird way to talk about your ideal!)

it's fascinating also that Myriel still has the "grooming articles that betrayed the elegant habits of the man of the world"! it's a surprising bit of vanity that maybe he doesn't even realize is vanity? or maybe his 10 step skincare routine really is that good.

Myriel's "copper crucifix with traces of silver" caught my eye, because Valjean's crucifix in his terrible room in the Rue de l'Homme Arme is copper too. probably I'm reaching here and and all 18th century crucifixes were made of copper, but either way it's an interesting bookend.

i'm about to get very Red String Conspiracy Meme here for a second BUT! The Candlesticks. the church says you Must have a certain number of (specifically beeswax) candlesticks present on or near the altar at any mass. the absolute minimum is two, but the number increases up to 7 depending on who's celebrating mass/what type of mass is being celebrated. someone who needed a quick 1500 word essay could make something out of this - the fact that aside from the silver cutlery (which there were practical reasons for keeping) the only other Thing he has is those two silver candlesticks, the fact that two candles specifically are used for the low mass, the table/altar comparisons, the altar being a surface on which a sacrifice is made... all of this is an extreme reach but playing with catholic aesthetics is fun, okay, so sue me.

"The beautiful is as useful as the useful. [...] Perhaps even more so."

there sure are a lot of Guys Who Like Flowers in this novel, huh! Myriel, Mabeuf, Jean Prouvaire, even Valjean... I'm sure that means nothing at all!

"Nisi Dominus" etc is Psalm 127:1, "Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain."

"[the bravery of priests] should be peaceable" - and this is where we run into the limit of the Myriel Approach. his need to remain peaceable is the core of that whole interaction with G- and his aversion to the scaffold - he does not believe violence can be justified, which is why he can't change the system, he can only try to mitigate the pain it causes. it feels to me like a direct parallel of Enjolras' "death, I abhor thee, but I use thee".

[sky-is-the-limit]

hi! first of all i want to tell you that your page is very fun to read, thank you for it! but… i sometimes (really often) see things that makes me sad and even somehow guilty?? i don't really care about Gaz, and i like Konig. and i was pretty ok with it, until i started to see your posts that everyone who doesn't like Gaz and likes Konig is racist???? like, why??? i can understand why people like Gaz, but he just seems plane to me? and that's all. he is just not my type??? and Konig, though he is just an operator in multiplayer and has a very little backstory, i still love it and his accent very much. i have a very long list of black crushes male and female. but i just don't like Gaz. and when i make things that i like i include characters that i like and don't include those who i don't??? i just don't call them 141 if i include Konig and don't Gaz. if i want to make 141, Gaz is always there, because he is a part, even if i don't care about him. and your statements really makes me sad and upset about myself, though i'm old enough to understand that i have my right to like and don't like who i want. sorry for my long ass essay in a bad English. please don't hate me?? p.s. you are very pretty :c

Okay, I'm sorry but can you tell me exactly when did I say that anyone who doesn't like Kyle is racist? I specifically mention in whatever post I make regarding people leaving Gaz out of 141 that many have weird, racist undertones, I never said that if you don't like Kyle as a character, you have to be racist.

You can like/write/consume whatever on earth you want, love, I'm not a babysitter nor I own the freaking games. I'm a fan in this fandom and a gamer who loves this franchise therefore I am ALLOWED to express my opinion/thoughts/likes and dislikes regarding said fandom in my own blog.

You can build König a tall ass statue and make sacrifices to his name, darling that's your right! You like him as a character and that's cool, you're allowed to like whoever you want and dislike whoever you want, I ain't gonna burn your phone for not liking Kyle nor call YOU specifically racist for not liking him as a character, though, frankly, it doesn't make sense at all but again that's a me thing.

However, noticing how fucking racist this fandom is for having a pattern of excluding the only black character from his own content and replace him with a white man that has nothing to do with it, even though Kyle is literally the main character then yeah I'm gonna call it out and no one will make me feel bad or wrong about it.

When real people get hurt, real poc get hurt by seeing the only person representing them being tossed to the side for literally no fucking reason then I'm sorry but I don't really care if my dislike towards an irrelevant mf is such a discomfort to you or anyone else.

Because me not liking König or calling out a collective of bad behaviour in a fandom does not affect you at all if you simply click the 'x' next to my post.

I understand the annoyance of seeing people disliking a character that you like but you can literally unfollow/block etc cause if I were to get upset whenever some stranger online disliked my fav fictional characters, I'd end up in anger management or something.

Love, if my content or opinions make you sad for whatever reason (said reasons being about fictional characters and not real life issues which is what most of my Kyle defending posts are about) then put your mental health first and block me, I can promise you that's its okay to do it when you see something that you don't like!

However, with that being said, I will not change my opinions/criticism for anyone, I don't do it in real life with real people who I interact with and I will not do it on a silly lil tumblr blog when it comes to concerning issues such as racism that is very much present in the Call of Duty community.

My criticism is not for people who simply don't like a fictional character who happens to be black. My posts are very much targeted towards a very specific demographic and I really don't understand this but I respect your feelings and will very much encourage you to not follow this blog if it makes you upset, it's okay and understandable!!

With all that being said, never apologise for your English. Be proud that you speak more than one language! It's not my first language either:) Thank you for reaching out and explaining why you feel that way, I hope you the best, dear anon. Take care<3

[love-triangles-au]

do they ever argue? what’s that like for a gun god and a chaos demon to fight? and most importantly, how do they make up?

OOH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION okay I ended up writing an entire essay for this complete with citations so it'll be beneath a read more. You have activated my brain worms, thank you kindly.

So I think that fights between these two are inevitable because they have some really differing core beliefs, especially on the concepts of family and love. A rather overlooked trait of Venuz is that he values respect and is nice to others as can be seen a lot on his Twitter. These are just three examples but there are quite a few more!

In our headcanon he also risked just about everything for Cuz as well. (I totally wanna elaborate more on that but I'll save it for some other time. >:]) Needless to say, Bill would never do this (well, not yet, at least), Mr. "WHO WOULD SACRIFICE EVERYTHING THEY'VE WORKED FOR JUST FOR THEIR DUMB SIBLING?" over here.

Every relationship goes through a "honeymoon phase" where the initial euphoria and lovey-dovey stuff is at its highest point. I think that Venuz was very much overwhelmed by this honeymoon phase and was willing to forgive or disregard just about everything Bill did that he'd ordinarily be really uncool with.

Eventually, though, that has to wear off, and he'll be forced to confront that yeah actually I'm kinda not cool with some of this behaviour.

Cuz is definitely his breaking point in tolerating Bill's lack of regard or respect for others. It starts to bother him to the point where he's like "ok u gotta leave him alone yo" and Bill would probably either deny completely that he's messing with him (which Venuz isn't falling for, Cuz has told him enough already) or say something like "SO WHAT? HE'S JUST A STUPID KID" and either way that's gonna piss Venuz off. Bill's constant abuse of his maids would definitely bother him, too. So yeah, that is the main problem they have -- Venuz values respect and Bill has none.

As to how they'd actually deal with it? Well I can imagine eventually Venuz says something like "if u ain't gonna respec my famili dis ain't gonna work" and Bill is really upset by that and goes full on the defensive and throws a tantrum / pity party like "WELL NOBODY EVER RESPECTED ME" blah blah blah trying to justify why he's an asshole and that's okay because he's the victim always.

Venuz has gotten to know him enough by now to the point where he can kinda understand where this is coming from even if he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and his little fit just makes Venuz feel bad for him. He thinks "wow he iz rly fukkd up. i can fix him". If he isn't willing to try to tame the beast at least a little bit I don't think this relationship would work out at all, lmao.

So, yeah, I'm sure most fights are based around that general concept. Bill calls the waiter a worthless three-dimensional skin-puppet or something and Venuz sprays him with a water bottle. And vise versa, too, probably; "YOU'RE TOO SOFT, YOU SHOULD BURN THAT MORTAL ALIVE".

Otherwise, though, smaller stuff they disagree on is definitely to what extent they should do "mortal stuff" like sleeping and eating or whatever. Venuz likes to do those things. Sure, he is a god, he could do anything he wants, but he chooses to eat, chooses to sleep, even chooses to have a job.

Bill is mortal now, so he needs to sleep and eat, but he's going to be obnoxious about that for as long as he can. After all, he's not really a mortal, this is only temporary! He's like Venuz, a deity beyond biology or responsibility! The rules don't apply to him!

I think Venuz is often frustrated that Bill can rarely ever just spend a chill evening in the living room cuddling with him, and Bill is frustrated that Venuz is wasting his time with those things. Heck, I'm sure Bill's extra frustrated because he wants Venuz's power; he's not using it, so it may as well go to him anyway! Nevermind the fact that Venuz is clearly living a lot happier life than Bill is, hahaha.

This totally develops as time goes on, though; Venuz spends more time taking Bill on little adventures around the galaxy and bringing him on Wasteland runs to set shit on fire with him, and Bill is more willing to indulge in lying around just enjoying one another's presence or spending evenings stargazing. Relationships are all about compromise and these two care about each other enough to be willing to do that, whether consciously or not. :)

~ Mod Emily 🦇

[spacetravels]

I am insane abt noah too… I’d love to know some of your hcs or thoughts or anything you have in that doc you’ve written, if you don’t mind sharing 💓

[insert sickos meme]

YEAH i think in my meta i just wrote too much about how the it lives series is like. the heart of it is mc & the marshall twins. i'll die on that hill. and also ofc the entirety of it lives being about breaking cycles. & like ofc bias here as a noah apologist but here have some paraphrased bullets frm my essay LOL I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY:

Essentially my thesis is like. The Marshall twins: Noah was Jane's whole world and he’ll always feel guilty that he couldn’t save her. MC’s her best friend and the love they had for each other was strong and real and MC will always feel guilt and blame for her her death.It’s a fucked up little circle of grief and blame because they’re both like: Why didn’t I stop this/Why didn’t I save her/Why was it not me/This is my fault

the way the horror genre is often about loss… like the horror of It Lives lies in how painful grief is, and exploring how grief can manifest itself and pain breeding pain and stuff. and it's so different across the book 1 cast but i think noah and mc are so similar in just. they blame themselves and carry jane's death the hardest... and uhhh

the fact they’re in their senior year. And how after this they’re “grown ups” and they have to go to college or get jobs or both. And how redfield/jane represents the youth they lost and will never have again. And red/jane bringing the gang all back for one last game because there’d be no games after that--all of jane’s friends will have to grow up. All of jane’s friends will become adults and she’ll be left behind in this terrible limbo state where she’ll never get to move on the way everyone else could. Like they have to grow up, they can’t stop and stay and play games in the woods like they used to anymore because then they'd never let go of what happened to them. And the end scene where everyone, if they're strong, can declare they're not scared--that's it. They've learned they can let go.

And it aches and it aches so much in the finale when you realize that this happens for everyone EXCEPT MC and Noah. everyone grows up. They played together. They finish the game. They can move on. Their arcs are wonderfully done. But these two people literally don't have the option of that!

so sacrifice MC and Noah have that choice to make that like. They both can’t make it out alive by this point, and they have to choose (assuming like. you get the choice lol the tragedy of noah flying off the handle and killing mc is another thing entirely re: nerve mechanic and whatnot)

And like definitely up to player perception and completely fair at this point if ppl make their choice becuz Fuck Noah Marshall or other reasons to save MC lol no judgement but my thoughts on like. the choice is like.

MC dies, because MC thinks Noah has to live. Despite it all and no matter what consequences he has to face, Noah Marshall has to keep being alive because he’s spent his entire youth stuck in a limbo state of wanting to disappear and be gone and he can’t even have the grace of dying now. He has to live.

Noah dies, because Noah thinks MC has to live, because MC saved him. He’s made peace with his death a long time ago, and this was his fault. MC has been nothing but grounded and carries in them the optimism and belief that grief does not end in pain, but you carry it with you, and you live. MC has to live for the person who can’t

anywyays i'm like. i'm TOTALLY fine and having a NORMAL one

[nakanotamu]

Different anon here, but would you mind telling us a little more about saya kamitani and utami hayashishita's relationship? (or lack of one as it were)

ANON I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME ALMOST A MONTH TO GET BACK TO YOU I also apologize in advance for not having a whole essay and cute pictures like I did for Syuri and Utami

Okay so right when Kamitani debuted, she said Utami was her "goal", the still inexperience prodigy who'd debuted a year before her. While Kamitani was an unaffiliated rookie there was sort of an... I'd call it an unspoken agreement that she would follow her "master" (or teacher, master in the martial arts sense) Tam into Stars. However, on February 16th 2020, at Stardom's last pre-pandemic show (the timing of this show makes it feel somehow like it was 1 million years ago and like there's no way it was only in early 2020) Kamitani challenged Utami for the Future championship. After their match, which Utami won, she told Kamitani she liked her and wanted her to join Queen's Quest. Kamitani immediately accepted, much to Tam's chagrin. (They eventually mostly worked it out.) Coincidentally Utami bringing in Kamitani was the first Leader thing she did, almost fully 2 years before Momo left QQ and Utami actually became leader.

From then to now, this is basically their entire relationship in a nutshell:

They started teaming and won the tag belts VERY quickly, in July 2020, after they were vacated due to Bea Priestley and Jamie Hayter no longer being able to be in the country due to covid. They were not extremely dominant champions, with only 2 defences in 5 months before they lost the belts. Kamitani was still settling into her new Cool, Sophisticated QQ persona, and while she was working really, really hard to live up to being Utami's partner, she was the obvious weak point of their team.

Kamitani earned a spot in Stardom's first NJPW crossover Tokyo Dome match (I do not remember exactly how she got in lol) and she used that opportunity to challenge Utami for the red belt, which she held at the time. This was a BOLD overstep for someone of Kamitani's standing at the time. Utami played it like just letting Kamitani challenge would have been unbecoming of the top champion, like Kamitani just didn't have a good enough claim to challenging for it to be okay, it wasn't that she didn't want to just, it's the World championship, you can't just give whoever you like a shot. Except beneath her words it was really obvious that she like, kind of likes Kamitani and just didn't want to fight her. Kamitani told her that she wanted this challenge more than anything, that she was willing to sacrifice their tag team over it, and Utami accepted. Utami beat her and they made up, Kamitani still seeing Utami as a goal but realizing Utami did, like, respect her - it was only Kamitani that saw herself as a fuck up, not Utami.

Throughout that year their relationship was pretty much, Utami supporting her (as much as the champ can) while Kamitani was working really hard to build herself up while. That's kind of always been the tone of their relationship. Utami says "Hey, I'm here for you, you can do this." Kamitani responds "Oh my god, I'm in love with you" and Utami goes "Not like that." Literally just a few months ago when Utami wished Kamitani a happy birthday, Kamitani responded "Utami I love youuuuuu" to which Utami responded "I KNOW"

So, yeah, basically as time goes on Kamitani DOES build herself up. She wins the white belt from Tam and begins a reign with it that will seemingly never fucking end. In early 2022 she nominates Utami to be her challenger at a big show at Ryogoku Kokugikan. The tables are turned from a year before, now Kamitani is the champion, and she wants to prove at last that she's really on Utami's level now.

This time Kamitani does win in a match I will be honest I didn't love. The white belt is a bit of a white whale for Utami and she can't overcome that here. Utami reaffirms that she respects Kamitani and she never thought she wasn't on her level, but also says - with the acknowledgment that this will just sound like she's bitter because she lost - that Kamitani is missing something as champion, something that Tam, Giulia, Arisa, Momo had. I am inclined to agree, and that's kind of been a thing throughout Kamitani's reign, people saying she doesn't quite actually have it, that she's not quite actually as good as her results, but boy that sure has not stopped her from getting those results. (The "thing" is probably being able to let out her emotions in a match. Every other champ in recent memory was excellent at making you feel something - in all of their matches, but their title matches especially. Her feelings sometimes coming across as a little too fake is still a weak spot for Kamitani imo, particularly rough when that's what the white belt is supposed to be all about. Kamitani does shine at this sometimes, but she's not consistent.)

And that's pretty much it until this year in Tag League. AphroditE teamed once again, I think making them the team this year with the most entries - and honestly probably the frontrunners for most entries together ever. They were, in fact, much more even partners this year, with Utami even showing some affection and putting in some effort to follow Kamitani's lead a lot of the time. They made it to the finals, but having wrestled their last block match right before the finals with no break in between, 7Upp were too much for them.

Now they're teaming together again (along with AZM) in Triangle Derby, which is still in its early stages, so it's hard to say how it'll go for them. Right now they have a perfectly neutral record of 1-1-1.

So that should be pretty much it. They're surprisingly solid compared to most other partners in Stardom. Kamitani continually professes her love while Utami friendzones her hard, but it's not like Kamitani is having breakdowns from seeing Utami kiss Syuri instead of her either. Here have some cute pictures

[your-local-uwu-artist]

alirhgt finished day of the departed!

it was good! I enjoyed it :D I only wish it was longer. thankfully theres this silly little site called archive of our own that I'm sure can fix that for me lmao

my thoughts as per ususal!

... it accidentally got long sooo uhhh

-liked that we got master Yangs whole thing explained, as a character yang felt very simple but in a GOOD way. like in the 'he is an ancient spirit' kinda way. very classic ghost story!

-the scenes of everyone with the lanterns oh my god yeah that made me teary eyed

-Cole's VA did a GREAT job.

-further more I don't think I compliment the composers enough so um yeah score was fantastic as well!!!

-loved Ronin coming in all like 'uh yeah I'm here to save you right totally' there was a lot of great little jokes. Darreth being included was fantastic

-So this is a VERY weird comparison. but fuck it. there's this great juvinile fiction series called 'nathan abercrombie acidental zombie' by 'great' i mean I have a google doc of an anaylsis/essay on it. so yeah. GREAT. I could talk about it for quite a while actually. anyway. I willt ry to not go on too much of a tangent (i will still go off on tangents, of course, just small ones) but essentially the series is about Nathan who due to a sci-fi mix up: is dead. and it REALLY adresses what this means for him. one of the books main plot is about his body starting to decompose. in book one, the death is spreading slowly. theres this FANTASTIC description of him stomping his foot to feel pain, when his foot is the only place he has feeling left. in book one he's almost cured but sacrifices it to save his friend from a fire. in the final book he sacrifices his chance of being a cool super spy so that he can become alive again. what am I getting at here? okay well bassically obviously I read the series for the body horror. and you better believe I wrote aus in my head where he stayed a zombie. but like. gosh how do I explain this. so reading through this series it has a sorta depressing undertone- nathan is more or less a doomed character. like- sure he's made it this far. but he can only pretend to be alive for so long. and you get this impression throughout the series about just how numb nathan is. his nerves are dead and he can't feel pain (with the exception of when he reattaches a part that fell off, in which the nerves come alive for a brief moment of excruciating pain) he can't eat. he doesn't have a heart beat. he can't breath. he can't sleep. and its not just PHYSICHALLY Nathan comes off as VERY emotionally numb as well. like yes he struggles but it's like. like he's like 'huh yeah I guess I'm dead oh well, i did what i had to' but then theres parts where he'll get ANGRY about it and it's just, it's clear his circumstances prevent him from even fully emotionally processing said circumstances. it's CONFIRMED that he doesn't produce ADRENALINE. So It's not far fetched to assume that explains all of this CHILDS extremely watererd down emotions. anyway. the point is while it is super fun to imagine the au where Nathan stays a zombie: the only satisfactory ending was for him to become human again. there's simply too many extremely existential things that the story just isn't meant to adress. (shit like the fact that he's supposed to be on the cusp of puberty and his body won't age. also his body is starting to decompose faster.) anyway. I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that this did feel like a satisfactory end to this character arc. because these are characters that DESERVE a happy ending. both of them are young people that are self sacrificial fucks that only ended up in their sitautions because of that fact. and I think the ending of this special just FELT the same way as the end of that series. leaves me with a lot of themes and ideas to explore that are for me, or rather the greater audience i suppose, to explore. like, the existential shit that having the characters stay dead would force to be adressed? thats for the FANFICTION to adress. which actually makes it better because now I have a fucking gold mine of ideas to explore. if canon explored them for me then there's nothing left for the fanfics to explore!

anyway another coparison would be the ending of the legend of zelda four swords manga, when Link becomes one again. actually thats a VERY good comparison. Link had to become whole again. and now I get to imagine not only the au where he doesn't. but I also get to imagine the ramifications of this event

-anyway! moving on

-i really like that Cole got a scar from it. great way to make sure this isn't just some forgotten throw away event

-I really liked the ending actually, made me feel warm inside

-I liked the Morro redemption. cause well: Morro didn't have a score to settle, his story already concluded. he's cool now

-I really appreciate how classic ghost story Yang's whole thing was.

anyway: the real main take away is that Ima be doing this thing with Cole from now on.

at this rate I think Kai and Nya are the only main characters currently safe from my scrunkle-fication wrath. no way it will stay that way for long tho. Kai has gotten dangerously close into scrunkle-fication territory already. it's really only a matter of time

I made this chart to illustrate my point

at this rate I estimate no un-scrunkled mains will remain by season 8 (and there is a risk of acquiring scrunkle-sides)

I think Kai will probably beat Nya (there are now in a sibling race to who gets scrunkle-ified first or smth)

[roachfun]

I’m sorry ! 🙇🏻‍♂️ I didn’t have my ADHD meds in me and that usually makes my rambling worse.

I started with jjk0 because 2 reasons, the Barnes and Noble I was at only had 1 copy of jjk0 and a dozen copies of jjk23… and 0 comes before 1.

And yeah I haven’t watched it or read anything else yet (again MHA’s ending left a bad taste in my mouth and Shonen Jump has gained a powerful side eye from me since I got back into anime/manga) the idea behind Gege’s writing choices in regards to who lives or dies feels cheap as a concept, but the execution (pun NOT intended) could actually be well done… I wouldn’t know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’d heard about his first editor telling him to add a school setting to better appeal to Shonen Jump, and when I read jjk0 the school aspect felt forced and a bit restrictive honestly. There’s a good part of me that thinks had jjk gone to a seinin publisher it would’ve thrived differently and Gege wouldn’t have had to make all these sacrifices to his story and probably also his health.

Again, I’m sorry about the essay! But thank you for acknowledging my unmedicated word vomit.

ughhh you bring up such good points😫. ANYWAYS, again I totally agree with most things you said (except again on how he kills characters, I'm sorry!! I just weirdly like it for some reason😞).

I can't speak too much on jjk0 school setting feelings forced as I haven't actually read or watched it(I've only just heard things from it).

I agree tho I feel if he had just gone to a seinin publisher this ending probably would have gone differently, and everything probably would have been better for him, but sadly we'll never really know😔.

On a better note tho u didn't need to apologize for the little essay I completely understand (I have ADHD myself unfortunately and I'm sorry for making you feel as if you had to apologize) bye my love🫴❤️

[bambinification]

ID: a reply by user @riocinn reading quote "I would love to hear your take on how walt disney's views affected bambi 1!" endquote. End ID.

So, before replying to this and talking out of my ass like I was in the original post, I decided to do a little research to learn more about the context surrounding Bambi's production. I made this a fucking essay, and I'm sorry lol. Also, whilst I did watch around 4 hours of backstage content, I did not reread the book, which I haven't picked up since 2018, so if any of my notes on the book seem off, I apologize.

Word count: like, 2k, I'm sorry

My key points in Walt's influence on his adaptation of Bambi:

Glorifying the military (stay with me)

The ongoing war making entertainment a field for escapism instead of drama

American culture of individualism, legacy, and toxic masculinity (stay with me)

Romanticizing nature (in a bad way)

Walt was just a really privileged guy who didn't have his own "oppressive party" to allegorize in his telling of Bambi like Salten did.

In the tags of my original post, I basically said that Disney classic animal movies (like Bambi and Dumbo) either have some sort of subconscious bias yuck to them or the movie is empty enough that my mind wanders to Walt's problematic bs. And yeah, after researching, I think I still stand by that lol

Points 1 and 2: Military influence

In the backstage Disney featurette "1942: The Year of Bambi," the narrator paints a generalized but pretty good picture of American culture at that time. Because of the war going on, Disney halted production on all commercial works except for Bambi--but most of the studio output was in military-related classic Mickey shorts. Due to the war and the Great Depression going on, entertainment in 1942 aimed to offer "escapism, inspiration, and romance." Which definitely explains why Bambi was watered down from it's cruel tonality, and why it was marketed and created as a romance movie, even though the original book was very much Not That.

In the original trailer for Bambi, the theme of "love" is actually equated with courage, sacrifice, heroism, and fearlessness, instead of just being romance or affection, and I feel like this was also the military influence on the movie. (Courage? Bravery? Sacrifice? Sounds like something Walt would say about the military in 1942.)

Point 3: Individualism, characterization, and Legacy

I do not have any kind of source for this part. Walt Disney never mentions anything about legacy, individualism, or the characterization of the protags in any of his creative notes or interviews. However, these are well known aspects of American culture that I can imagine influencing the movie. I suggest their influence was entirely subconscious, if there was any actual influence to begin with.

I feel like the Great Prince's characterization in the movie had a distinctly idealized masculinity to him. He was stoic, noble, courageous, wise, everybody respected him, and he has descendants (of boys!) to carry on his legacy. These were all kind of idealized characteristics for men to have in America in the 30s and 40s. Bambi 2 gives him a deeper and much more human quality--turning him into a real character instead of an aspirational type.

By contrast, the women are all kind of nothingy. Faline is JUST the love interest, and all of the released concept art of her shows her as an adult. In the creative meetings, Walt and his team lament that Bambi's mother was so hard to animate because there was nothing to her, so she was always directed to be talking TO someone so the animators had some form of characterization to work with. (Who's fault is that Walt. Whose fault is that.)

The book had a dynamic among all of its characters that was basically impossible to adapt onto the screen with all the changes they made (namely reducing the dialogue to only about a thousand words and story/thematic changes). Faline was the love interest, but then she was upset when Bambi eventually left her to follow the Old Stag, who was infinitely more interesting to him. The Old Stag isn't Bambi's father, but comes to call him a son in a moment of character development where he lets his self-imposed isolation slip. Idk, there's just so much I could say about it, but I think you get the point.

Point 4: The romanticization of nature and shifting of allegorical messaging

Salten's original novel is a naturalist animal xenofiction novel, which means it aims to portray a realistic look into the life of a young deer with minimal anthropomorphism or mysticism. A lot of people who know Bambi from the movie laud the book as being "dark" and "callous," but a lot of NAX enjoyers know that this is kind of par for the course within the genre. There is no morality to attribute to Bambi having a deadbeat dad because ALL deer in real life have deadbeat dads. That's just how nature is, and Salten never seemed to lament or condemn this in his book (because he wasn't anthropomorphizing them in this area).

There IS a thematic mysticism in the Bambi novel, mainly in how human beings are kind of deified in the eyes of the animals. To them, man is all-powerful, unknowable, and untouchable. Part of the climax of the novel involves Bambi seeing a hunter die, therefore finally understanding (almost in a moment of Enlightenment) that men are not deified beings, but are mortal and subject to an even greater force over them (like God or the concept of life and death itself).

Walt Disney strips these attributes completely. In his creative meetings (which were reenacted as a commentary tract over the movie in the Platinum Edition release), he states that he WANTS all the animals to be portrayed in harmony with one another. There are no carnivores that torture anyone's sick babies because in Disney's Bambi, the forest is kind and good. (This dynamic was later ambitiously recreated in The Lion King.)

Man, on the other hand, was a non-ambiguous bad guy. Through hunting the animals and their negligence causing a forest fire, hunters are depicted as not respecting nature, as being against nature, when in fact that's kind of a load of shit. Ethical and respectful hunting practices are possible, and human beings can coexist with the natural world. Creating this "nature good, human bad" mentality is harmful for a lot of reasons--it keeps people from respecting wild animals as dangerous, it wrongfully condemns indigenous people for a way of life that can't hold a candle to the destruction industrialization and colonization causes. It's a bit less related to Bambi, but it's still important to criticize Walt's message that WASN'T in the original BOOK.

Also, I'll point out that no forest fire happened in the book. Walt had to add the forest fire to create and solidify this theme that he Made Up for the movie, because otherwise there would be no concrete "protagonist triumphs over the antagonist" storyline. Which leads me to my next point.

Point 5: Walt was just really fucking privileged and didn't have an oppressor to express in his art.

Okay, this sounds mean, but hear me out.

It's debated whether or not Felix Salten's novel was an allegory for Jewish oppression. I mean, the book was banned in Germany because the Nazis sure thought it was. I remember seeing (but I don't have a source, so please take this with a huge grain of salt) that Felix denied any such allegory in his novel. However, since Felix had struggled to get works ABOUT Jewish oppression published, I'm totally willing to go along with what he says. (In a "oh yeah, no allegories here, wink wink" sort of way.) Regardless, Bambi definitely tells an overarching story about an oppressed people living in powerlessness under an oppressive and untouchable party, whatever those elements symbolize.

In his creative meetings, Walt seems to have no reading comprehension about the theming whatsoever. Either that, or it just fell to the wayside. In his meetings, he stated that adapting the book faithfully would restrict his creative vision of the movie, so he said his movie would be less like an adaptation and more like "a symphony based on or suggested by Bambi (the book)." And this is fair and acceptable, imo. However, the absence of the original theme is the biggest yuck flag to me.

Walt was a white guy at the head of his own studio in America in the 40s. I cannot stress enough how much he didn't have a "the Man" to stick it to. Yeah, there were financial struggles, but he wasn't a minority, and he was privileged enough that he loved his country and military completely uncritically. During the production of Bambi, Disney was approached to sign on with the Screen Cartoonist's Guild, and in his refusal to unionize, he fired many of his animators. One of the notable losses was Tyrus Wong, the Chinese immigrant who influenced the entire artistic style of Bambi with his concept art inspired by Chinese watercolor painting. In a speech to his employees, Walt stated that he believe that "the people who contribute most should enjoy some privileges" and that "if you're not progressing as you should, you should quit grumbling and do something about it."

The attempts to unionize the studio was framed in the Backstage Disney featurette "The Making of Bambi: a Prince is Born" as a tribulation that Walt Disney himself was going through. On top of that, Disney was losing a ton of money because his two previous films didn't make money. Disney was in debt to the Bank of America and still he made a charismatic petition to get another loan to finish his amazing passion project. He succeeded. Bambi lost money upon release.

The financial and union situations were both used in the featurette to paint Walt as a poor downtrodden man underdogging it against all odds to make one of the greatest masterpieces of animation history. And during this entire segment, all I could think was, "God, get some REAL fucking problems, you piece of shit."

Walt Disney was not Jewish, he was not gay, he was not POC. He did not live a life that put him under an immovable status of systemic oppression that he recognized or condemned. He was petitioning banks to fund his passion project animation movies and bitching out anyone who wanted equal treatment in the workplace, all while sucking off the military and the concept of American culture. He did not have a story that could be allegorized by the original Bambi novel. And I believe that's a big reason why the theming of the movie changed so much. Walt wasn't going to tell Felix Salten's story of an oppressed people reckoning with the deification of their oppressors. And if anything, Disney's stances on unionization illustrate exactly what people are talking about when they say he was an important player in upholding American imperialism. His views totally screwed up the story of the Bambi novel. The movie's shallowness is a testament to his influence, in my opinion.

TL;DR: Bambi was changed by Walt Disney, mostly out of subconscious cultural superiority. Walt's naive perception of nature, unfair condemnation of mankind, glorification of the military and American cultural values, and lack of investment in systemic/structural liberation gave us the Bambi movie we know.

-

All of that being said, I still do really love the movie! It's one of the better classics that aged in a more acceptable way than others. Not only that, but watching so much material on the creation of Bambi gave me a renewed appreciation for every aspect of this film. The technical skill and stylistic transformation has always been my favorite element of Bambi, so it was really gratifying hearing Tyrus Wong's name come up in almost every single featurette.

And to reiterate my original post, I'm not the only one who likes Bambi 2 more than Bambi 1. The deeper characterization, the more active pacing, and the technical quality of the film actually are a credit of the studio and creators behind the sequel, so that was nice to hear. I also totally forgot that Bambi 2 was a film about healing from grief and trauma, which is wild, because I consciously know that my favorite genre is "movies and books about healing from grief and trauma" lol

Unpopular opinion but I actually like Bambi II better I think? Idk.

The original is beautiful to look at and really relaxing and comforting, but it's a little bit nothingy and watered down from the original novel in a way that completely changes the story. In the book, the way Bambi left Falene because he was totally enamoured by the Old Stag really spoke to me (ace, lesbian, seeking out elders and mentor figures for a lot of my life). And though the sequel is a bit too kid-ified for an adult without nostalgia to sit through, the sequel DOES recreate this dynamic in a way!!

Plus I like Patrick Stewart as the Great Prince, I like how much winter we get, I like how the meadow scene is actually really unsettling (it haunted me forever as a kid and it still gives me the creeps), I think it's visually pleasing. Also I like how the movie was obviously influenced by the second generation Winnie the Pooh movies (which I like and watch a lot) with random sort-of contemporary songs by a female singer sprinkled throughout. The style of the movie holds it up; it's very watchable as a Disney sequel.

[tallohallo]

@gf10yearslaterzine

Day 1 favorite character

ok i know im a little bit late but whatever….

Stan has been my favorite for quite a while now, I just love his character so much. The fact that when we first meet Stan at the beginning of the series he seems like just a greedy con man,,, but as the series progresses he grows closer with Dipper and Mabel and we see that he does really care about his family, more than anything else.

And then of COURSE the reveal of Ford at the halfway mark of season two just drives that point even further. When we learn the backstory of those two… and the fact that Stan was willing to restart the portal, something he knew was dangerous, just for the chance to get his brother back. And the only reason he started the Mystery Shack in the first place was so he would be able to keep working on the portal, it just shows how much he cares about his family.

And then theres his sacrifice towards the end of Weirdmaggedon, when he was willing to lose his own memories, so that he would basically be dead in all ways but literally, just to keep Dipper and Mabel safe…. he cares so much guys….

so yeah now that I’ve written an entire essay that probably doesn’t make any sense…. I’m gonna go to bed…

[transsexualhamlet]

Dead Apple Is A Hot Mess: The Analysis

Essays:

-Dead Apple Only Really Makes Sense If You Assume It's Just Dazai, Shibusawa, and Fyodor's Elaborate Honeymoon

-Half All Other Inconsistencies Can Be Explained By Dazai Making Up Excuses To Shove Chuuya At His Crotch

-I Think Fyodor's Ability Is Actually 10 Times Weirder Than We Thought

-Ranpo Solved The Backrooms While This Shit Was Going On

Plus, everything else batshit crazy stupid about dead apple (affectionate)

Subtitle subtitle: me overanalyzing the movie equivalent of "girls just wanna have fun" played over a slasher film

this is all word vomit at this point

Prefacing this with holy shit of course I mean this all jokingly, obviously this is not what the writers meant, but they certainly left enough plot holes that my stupid idea actually fills them pretty consistently, so I'm taking it and fucking running.

I've been wanting to make a post like "how little sense dead apple makes as a cohesive story and how genuinely every time I think about it I'm just more confused" for a while, but since I finally finished reading the light novel, now I can say with certainty that yeah no, I'm not just stupid, it just literally does not make any logical sense unless you conclude that these flamboyant war criminals were all just in love with each other and their entire three-way backstabbing apocalypse deal was all a predetermined game that they planned out for their honeymoon or something. Yes, I am really saying that I think they just dressed up and played pretend as terrorists and decided that half the gifted population of Yokohama was a sacrifice they were willing to make.

Even then, it really doesn't account for half of the bullshit in the movie, but taking it that way honest to god explains about 80% of the inconsistencies, as ridiculous as it sounds.

@akutagawasslur and I have been talking about it and came up with a few sort of outlandish theories that try to actually make sense of the plot, but again, most of this is just gonna be me pointing out plot holes and continuity errors and narrative stupidity that I have no way of understanding, and that even assuming a ton of things, it still feels like this meme

Let me preface this with the fact that I love dead apple, it's an amazing movie and very pretty and I'm so glad it exists and it gave us 1. soukoku sex scene /j, 2. dazai with fancy hair, and 3. shibusawa our transfem icon /hj. But also, it just objectively sucks ass. I'm sure people have talked about this before, I just. Also have thoughts on the subject of how insanely poorly thought out the entire concept was.

(Giant fucking essay under the cut I feel like one of those youtubers who criticizes anime for fun but when I call everything gay it's a compliment)

_____________________________________________________

OK FIRST, DEAD APPLE TRIO GAY,

Before I even get into the plot of the movie, I'd like to for a minute direct you to the fact that there's no way any of these men are straight to begin with, no matter what they have to do with each other.

It's something really funny about anime in general, the way that they inadvertently make all the men fruity af for interesting character designs because straight guys are just so incredibly bland looking. It might seem normal when looking at an anime dude, but if you saw a dude irl wearing long braided hair, long, manicured nails, eyeliner, Arm Warmers, clothes he sewed himself, jewelry, and a Cape, there is no doubt in ANYONE'S mind that that's not a cishet man.

Dead Apple is just in general a very confusing movie. The light novel doesn't really help that much either, even if you've already watched it several times. I've heard that the stage play has just, a different plot altogether, but we're not even getting into that. And if someone has to put in that much effort to understand the plot of an anime movie, I don't think that's a good sign. The light novel definitely does go more into the plot, but that's kind of weird, since it's an adaption of the movie and not the other way around? They're kind of inconsistent, and they also have different translations. Honestly, after reading it, I have more questions than answers.

First off, I want to point out how entirely vague Dazai, Fyodor, and Shibusawa's motives all were in this movie. Even though the movie does eventually state what in general all of their motives supposedly are, the explanations given not only Do Not Explain their actions in ANY WAY, but also come off themselves as blatant misinformation.

I feel like the writers tried so hard to have their mind games seem death note level complex that they just ended up creating massive fucking plot holes that bring all of their motives into question.

To begin with, we have Dazai. After spending an ungodly amount of time on it, I think I kind of understand what the writers intended for him to come off as. It's a little hard because they wait to reveal that Dazai didn't actually just wholeheartedly want everyone to die for a little bit too fucking long, in my opinion, and even when they did it... it didn't work, it just took away an understandable though awful motive and failed to repace it with anything good.

So you have Dazai at the start of the movie clearly having a Moment Moment on a grave going hey bestie gonna go try out a new method of fucking killing myself, and atsushi's like, ok, be back for dinner. Dazai then reveals that he thinks Everyone Should Commit Suicide Actually and it's pretty in character to be perfectly honest. Yeah sure, of course he does. Seems like his brand of mental illness. Ango is like Dazai this is a bit much even for you you Literally Invited Terrorists To Have A Good Time but dazai's like Bestie Im Just Having A Bad Day and meets up with his matching gay villains like this was planned all along, which undoubtedly it was.

Yeah, seems like a pretty understandable motive. Depressed man convinced into thinking Apocalypse Sexy by two homosexuals. I can forgive that.

But then like three quarters through the movie, after they've had a whole ass arc about how much they're depressed and want everyone to die including themselves but they have to lounge around being emo first, Dazai is suddenly like No Actually I Was Faking It Definitely To Save Yokohama Of Course Because That's Me, Mr. Morals. And as much as I'm glad Dazai did in fact give a miniscule shit about Chuuya and Atsushi and like the entire city, I... honestly don't believe it. Not just because I wouldn't trust Dazai as far as I could throw him, but because the way they try to clear his name just isn't comprehensive enough, and I have to say it would not hold up in a court of law. (I'm amazed that it took as long as it did for Dazai to get thrown in fucking prison as it did, lol)

So sure, the movie then tells us that he invited them into the city because, I guess, they were going to do it anyway? That doesn't even make any sense. If Shibusawa was already targeting Yokohama, Dazai wouldn't need to fucking invite him. We never got any clarification on what Dazai actually did to get Shibusawa's trust in the slightest. How did he help with the plan? How was he cooperating with Shibusawa? What did he say or do that made the guy trust him? No clarification on that at all.

So that is left as a mystery, and now onto the other side- what did Dazai actually do to HELP the city? How was anything he did helping save them? Of course, he was working with Fyodor and he was going to nullify the fog with his skill, right? Fucking wrong, actually- Dazai knew the whole goddamn time that wasn't going to work. He knew he was going to be betrayed and stabbed, he could pinpoint it so well that he knew what poison that Shibusawa would use, and he knew that what Fyodor was telling him about the room and the skill was a lie. He was fully aware that being in that tower with those two would not help anyone. So then why was he there to begin with?

So Dazai gets stabbed, fucking dies, and is somehow beamed up into a fucking dragon because of Fyodor killing Shibusawa and like, resurrecting him again with his own ability. This part still doesn't even make sense to me in the slightest, and the fact that Whatever They Did Here also applied to Verlaine and Rimbaud in the Lore doesn't actually clarify much.

The only reason that this works is the fact that Dazai is genuinely dead. Not passed out, not in the process of dying- no, he's straight up passed away. His ability yeeted. It doesn't work during that time Because he's Dead, or well, that's what the light novel said anyway.

Then Chuuya punches the dragon and somehow gets to Dazai and punches him...... and then... dazai fucking.... comes back to life...... because he had a pill in his mouth......... and then boom his ability comes back on and saves Chuuya. Correct me if I'm wrong, but how the fuck did that help anyone in the slightest, not to even get into the absurdity of the plat yet? Chuuya wouldnt have even needed to use corruption if Dazai hadn't gotten himself turned into a goddamn dragon.

I don't believe the fog even went away at all until Atsushi smashed in Shibusawa's skull, so Dazai's ability wasn't getting rid of the fog in the slightest, even after the whole Dragon Event. And Dazai being there didn't change the outcome of Atsushi's battle, since Shibusawa got where he was with Atsushi entirely because of what Fyodor himself wanted. That same outcome would have happened whether Dazai was there or not.

Even if there was something Dazai did to help that I somehow managed to miss, gee fucking whiz, Dazai, you sure did take your sweet fucking time getting to it. Remember all those crystals that appeared in Shibusawa's collection during this shit??? You know??? The people that fucking died in the fog???? Because you let them in?? He wasn't being particularly helpful, if anything, what he did only got Fyodor farther along in his plans and Shibusawa exactly what he wanted.

The writers attempt to present Dazai as having in the end chosen the good side, but in all fucking honesty, what they came across showing us through his actions is that he let hundreds of ability users die because he wanted to have a fun time. Bitch was not trying to save the city. He didn't care if it was saved at all, he left that completely up to three teenagers who had about a 20% chance of surviving and all fucking hated each other. And why, because he realized that Shibusawa would eventually target Yokohama? God, maybe he could have fucking called Ango or something and gotten the actual qualified government on it, or even got the whole detective agency to fight Shibusawa before he came. Surely that would have fucking worked fine, or at least had fewer casualties. If all they needed to do was have Atsushi beat the shit out of him and Dazai was fully aware of this, I don't think he really has an argument as to saying he was doing this for good.

He never even tries to say it was to save anyone. Atsushi just, decides that's what he was doing. Dazai even tells him he's wrong.

(In my opinion, I do think he cared about the city, I do think he wants to fulfill Oda's wish, but from what I've seen, he's just... not really trying as hard as he could be. I think he was playing both sides on this one, you know? If Atsushi makes it through, then boom, well, city saved, let's move on. If Shibusawa succeeds, well then everyone dies, whatever, you know, he's hot. This can't really be proven by anything, I just think it's what makes the most sense considering the plot)

So then the question is, what the hell WAS he doing? What were ANY of them doing, if they all predicted perfectly what the outcome was going to be from the beginning?

The only answer I can give is that they're fucking depressed homosexuals and they wanted to have a little morbid fun. Genuinely, if someone can give me a better reason for what is canonically being depicted in this movie I'd LOVE to hear it.

To show you why I feel that interpreting these three as queer, polyamorous, and currently having crazy gay sex, I'd just like to point out a few things.

First of all, when you think about it, the entire stunt these gayasses pulled must have taken an absurd amount of unnecessary preparations and planning. Just to begin with, neither Shibusawa nor Fyodor live in Yokohama, but the second they're there, they already have the fanciest, most emo, obviously Supervillain Hideout piece of real estate in Yokohama. It's not like that place was just sitting around with no one owning it, one of them had to BUY THE PLACE from whoever like. Owned this goth mansion.

I mean, we don't even have time to get into what the hell this building was doing in Yokohama to begin with, because it's like.... in the 15 arc. it's just. A building that exists right at the edge of the Arahabaki crater town. That's GOTTA be plot relevant, but somehow it just. Isn't. It irritates me to no end.

And then before they moved in, someone had to move an entire, crystal collection in there (I've heard that it's actually part of Shibusawa's ability like Anne's room but I'm not sure how true that is so I'm leaving that as a question i guess)

Not only did they probably have to ship 2000 crystals into this place but Shibusawa also BOUGHT THREE CUSTOM MATCHING FANCY CHAIRS and SET A TABLE WITH FRUIT AND HIS FUCKING SKULL and LITERALLY TAILORED MATCHING WHITE OUTFITS for these motherfuckers TO WEAR LITERALLY ONCE. LIKE. HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO S T A B DAZAI HE DIDNT PLAN ON REUSING THE DUDE'S COAT AND YET HE FUCKING SEWED IT HIMSELF.

I'm just. I'm SORRY, this is NOT something you do with your Work Associates. Just. Objectively. This is Not a coworkers relationship we've got going on here, and neither is this something that straight men do.

And even without the embellishments that can be excused as animators wanting to be Aesthetic and Extra without realizing that any higher thinking would deem these bitches as Fruits, the three of them didn't really have any excuses to be together in that tower in the first place, none that they could voice out loud, at least, if they weren't like, fucking.

There seemed to be no plot relevant reason for them to have a tower to stay in. If Draconia was a manifestation of Shibusawa's ability, they didn't have to purchase a building to store it in. And if Dazai and Fyodor didn't need to stay up there to stay away from the effects of the fog (another major thing I'll get to) why did they even meet up to begin with? God, I know you movie makers only have so much you can fit in, but this is pretty basic stuff.

Neither Fyodor or Dazai needed to be around Shibusawa at all for the plan they had pretended to agree on to work.

Fyodor had been aligned with Shibusawa because he was giving the dude inside information on the city. That really,,, has no relevancy to the actual event, even if Fyodor helped him get into the city or something, which wasn't really touched upon. He certainly didn't have any official excuse to hang around other than to watch.

And what did Dazai even do at all? What did he do to get into the cool kids club?? All Dazai did was propose the idea, according to canon... just. Contacted the dude and said hey bro wanna Destroy My City For Funsies? Sounds good, I'm not suspicious at all. Anyway mind if I hang out in your house while you do it? Cool? No reason, I just wanted to watch.

Because Fyodor and Dazai both Somehow are randomly immune to the fog, it's not like they needed protection of any sort. They're just...... there.

Like, that just doesn't hold up. What were they there to do other than have gay sex??? Of course, all three of them have ulterior motives that make it necessary for them to be in the same place, as well as separate different alliances within the alliance that are also lies.

Fyodor agreed to help Dazai touchie the crystals in order to stop the fog, but they both knew it was a lie.

Shibusawa agreed with Fyodor to kill Dazai because they knew he wanted to betray them, but at least Fyodor knew that was a lie.

Dazai on his own really didn't have any clear motive, as I can tell. He seemed to have known touching the crystals wouldn't fix shit, and he seemed to have known Atsushi was the only real determining factor in the outcome, so I'm not sure what he was trying to achieve there other than having a grand old time.

And Fyodor..... well, he says he wanted to kill both Dazai and Shibusawa so he could take the fog to spread out and go across the entire earth, but. No he didn't.

Legitimately. No he did not. He was in Yokohama to look for the book, yet he plays this whole "I'm going to kill everyone right now with my Secret Evil Plan" card and is so incredibly unsurprised when that doesn't end up happening that it doesn't even feel like he meant it to begin with. He tells us this grand plan over the span of TEN YEARS where he gets Shibusawa killed and resurrected and amnesia'd and killed again and then resurrected and killed again. But even though he's spent that much of his life invested in this, when it doesn't work out, literally, he doesn't care???? He fucks off and laughs the second his entire plan falls apart, and this isn't how he we've seen him act when he's been actually bested by Dazai. (yknow, he was clearly very amused when it happened in the third season, like he probably got off on it, but he was still incredibly inconvenienced by the fact. Yknow.)

He also... was in the tower when it fucking. Exploded. And then showed up utterly unscathed in season three. Like. Sure, ok, horror movie physics. He just comes back. But genuinely he must have known beforehand a general idea of what was going to happen even though he apparently "hadn't considered that"? Because otherwise he would like. Not be alive sorry Fyodor getting crushed by a giant building kind of isn't survivable.

Bestie really spend ten years investing in a night of fun.

So genuinely, I don't think it makes sense at all unless the three of them had to some degree agreed on all this beforehand. Because if they were genuinely trying to fight against each other, and they each all had their own comprehensive spiderweb of plans and lies, and they're all really that smart, what would they say to each other when they were all together that any of them would believe? Even if they all knew the others were lying to them and they had to go along to get what they wanted, that wouldn't fix the problem, because what are they lying to say? What would their front be when they have no plot relevant reason to lounge around in a tower together listening to classical music and getting drunk?

If you just accept that they were there to paint each others nails and have crazy gay sex, that pretty much clears that all up. I mean. Why do they need a tower? Gay sex tower. Why do they need to be together? They're gay. Why does Dazai say "i knew your Special Knife would deal me a Nasty Blow" while moaning? I hate the gays. /j (they took that out of the novel and it makes me laugh like. they knew how awful that sounded)

The thing is though, because like I said earlier with how it all ended up playing out, it seemed almost scripted between the three of them. (haha, this is a movie.) But even if you assume these three are in a queer polyamorous relationship as a FRONT, because they're just That Extra, that doesn't really work either.

The way Dazai reacted to their betrayal, the way Fyodor reacted to Dazai's backup plan, the way Shibusawa reacted to Fyodor's plan- none of them seemed unhappy with it, none of them seemed surprised at the fact they were being betrayed, just the specific way in which it happened.

So that's really the only reasonable explanation of what they were doing dhfgdfhgfjfdl. All of them had to have gotten together at least months beforehand and set this up, the way it went. In the end, Fyodor and Dazai just wanted to give Shibusawa a good time before he got to be too much of a problem for their own motives. (dazai's being, existing in yokohama and finding a good way to either die or live, and fyodor's being to find a book in yokohama to murder everyone in his Own Way(??)) Shibusawa genuinely did want to destroy the city tbh I don't think anyone's doubting that, and to some extent, Dazai wanted to see the city Not Destroyed, but Fyodor's utter lack of actual motive here kind of breaks a scenario where they all went into it for that reason.

The only normal reason why I'd believe Fyodor inserted himself into this plan was because he'd have a chance to kill Dazai. Seriously, I still can't see what was wrong with going along with Shibusawa... isn't "i can help all ability users Fucking Die" literally just what Fyodor wants? He can still get the book afterwards too, assumedly once all the competition is gone it would be significantly easier.

The only reason I can give is that it was a fake piece of entertainment for their amusement.

Again at this point it's all just a funny idea, but genuinely, nothing contradicts this, and it certainly would make a lot of things make sense. So get this:

Dazai knows Shibusawa is going to be some level of threat to Yokohama no matter what he does, so he brings together the three of them and goes, hey you know what would be fun? We have a little bet. A little game of among us if you will. So here's the deal. One night, three of us, two knives, one murder. We let you into Yokohama to start up your funny apocalypse thing you wanted to do, and I'll get this cool tower and we'll have a good time. We all get drunk, put on some atmospheric music.... Now here's the catch, MY role is I'm going to try to STOP the fog from killing everyone. Shibusawa, YOU have to try to stop ME from stopping YOU, and FYODOR, you're here because, idk, we like you and you want to kill us, I don't know, surprise us, come up with something insane, and the two of us will have to figure out what YOU'RE doing without spoiling it! We have a few months to all come up with our own plans and try to figure everyone else's out. Let's make this as insane as possible guys. We all have plenty of reasons to benefit from the other being dead, so, Winner gets to homoerotically murder the loser, but we're all suicidal here anyway, so it's really a win win situation no matter how you look at it. Does that sound good? And of course they both say yes and they start making plans and it's like, half a year before this thing happens.

It really means that they had to have all been in on every level of betrayal and decided to go in on it anyway, they had to agree to this stuff and then planned it all in their heads so some of it would be a surprise.

_____________________________________________________

ANYWAY MORE DUMB INCONSISTENCIES THAT I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO ACTUALLY PUT INTO A COHERENT ORDER

There's a significant amount of other things about this candy colored piece of nonsense though, specifically just, how absolutely batshit stupid the storyline itself is.

Like, Dazai, straight up fucking died. He passed away!! He, unalived, if you will!! He got stabbed by a poison knife and died! His ability stopped working and separated from his body which specifically said in the narrative would only happen if he Actually Died!

But then??????? Chuuya slaps him?????? And there's a pill in his mouth that he's somehow kept there for the whole night???? And he just!! Resurrects from the goddamn dead!

Yeah, I know it's supposed to be like that because blah blah snow white but SNOW WHITE IS THE MOST ILLOGICAL FAIRY TALE EVER and to convert that to anime is just. Wow the anti death pill that heals Stab Wounds, great job. It didn't even actually get swallowed by dazai, when Chuuya punched him! The pill CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH. It popped ! Outside of his mouth! So he didn't swallow it either!

What the fuck happened then? Chuuya simply slapped him right out of hell. Man climbed back up eeby deeby screaming. I swear to fucking god.

It seemed that the pill which exploded several feet from his mouth also healed his stab wound, considering that the knife fucking disappeared from Dazai's back, along with all the blood.

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ON THE WORKINGS OF ABILITIES- another batshit theory

Ok, so, the whole workings of the fog regarding different abilities and stuff is also rather inconsistent.

It's stated Chuuya's ability works even in the fog because it's artificial, which makes fine sense if you've read stormbringer, yeah. But ok. If Chuuya doesn't need protection from the fog, then why when Dazai and Chuuya fall to the ground, Dazai is like "oh no you have to stay touching me because the fog isn't gone yet!!" DAZAI HE WAS FINE BEFORE YOU JUST WANT AN EXCUSE TO GO HOLD STILL GIRLIE *SHOVES YOU AGAINST MY CROTCH*

Also, why is atsushi's ability super fucking powerful? We still have not solved this. Still no one goddamn knows. He is an ability but he's also the antithesis of all abilities.... why did this have to be Atsushi, he's literally a fucking tiger? It actually makes no sense. If I was gonna choose someone to be the "antithesis of all abilities" it would be Dazai? I feel like that makes significantly more sense to be dazai here like seriously what's more "antithesis of all abilities" than an ACTUAL ABILITY THAT NULLIFIES ABILITIES? And it would have like. Actually made the movie make sense then. But no??

It's not only that that makes no sense, the whole premise of Shibusawa himself existing and the way the fog works is also, paradoxical in nature. It makes a little sense with stormbringer and the idea of these singularities, but. I'm sorry, if Dazai's ability doesn't work when he's dead, or like, apparently "really really close to dead but also Totally Fine after getting punched" according to 55 minutes logic (like. hi) then Shibusawa's ability can't work after his death either.

How shibusawa's ability works is that it separates someone from their ability, and when the original person dies, the ability becomes a crystal. Not like. A sentient ghost who forgets it died with a skull completely separate from his body. Like. Show me where that makes sense.

Fyodor's ability somehow makes even less sense. Ofc, we don't know a lot about his ability, and that's somewhat of the point. But like, without dead apple Existing, no one would question what Fyodor's ability was. Oh yeah, crime and punishment, he kills people that he judges guilty with a touch of his hand, ok. The specifics are a little hazy, maybe he controls the blood, maybe he controls the soul, maybe both. But you watch this goddamn fucking movie and somehow, his ability is its own singularity as well as Dazai's and Shibusawa's, and that is why they're all immune to the fog?

The question here then is... what is the singularity? What is the paradox of his ability, how are "crime" and "punishment" different yet something that would completely cancel each other out and make the fog not work?

Well. I have an idea. It is. Certainly not to be taken super seriously, but I think it would clear up a bit of what's going on in this shit show.

Personally, I think that Fyodor controls life- that he has the ability to resurrect people as well as kill them. Resurrecting is the "crime", killing is the "punishment". They go hand in hand, they cancel each other out, they tie into Fyodor's whole religious metaphor junk.

Ok, that makes sense right? Shibusawa issue solved, weird semantics with ability singularities and Shibusawa being like. The remnant of an ability just continuing to exist after death for no fucking particular reason solved. Dazai literally dying fr and then coming back to life with the most stupid reasoning ever solved.

Also, per my last essay, they're gay. So that's why he'd ressurect them over and over again.

Again, this is a very non-serious answer, however it does make a lot of sense somehow.

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The Aftermath TM (or lack thereof)

One of the funniest things about this movie is how nonsensical the whole premise of its existence within the bsd canonical universe is. They shoved it in the middle of season 2 and 3, but it was released after season three, so things got weird.

First of all, since season three was written first, obviously Fyodor's real introduction comes in season three. This is all fine and dandy out of universe (except if you watch it in chronological order and then you're just like? They're introducing this russian dude in dead apple as if I know who he is already? When this is... clearly his first appearance in Yokohama.) But in universe, after the events of dead apple, these people would know who Fyodor was already.

So, Dazai never informed anyone of Fyodor's existence or involvement in dead apple. Ok. Of course he wouldn't. They want to keep their relationship private. Alright.

Even though it happens canonically and chronologically before season three, it's only ever mentioned in season 3 literally twice (introducing fyodor as "that guy from the shibusawa incident" and just. literally. Dazai eating an apple when he sees Fyodor in the alley. Which is so subtext-ey as to barely even count.) But other than that it seems to be an event that like... just... no one talks about. At all. We don't know the aftermath of this event and it makes no sense how thing could have gone back to normal after this.

So yeah, that means he didn't open up and explain what happened. No one seemed to question Dazai's motives at all.

Ango knew Dazai was working with Shibusawa and presumably got kind of fucked up by them, yet. We get nothing about that. He never denied working with them, and yet, he just goes back to the ADA and no one fucking wonders whY THE SHIT HE DID THAT? They're literally like oh wow. Well that happened. I don't know what Dazai did and he doesn't care to tell us. Anyway haha don't do it again and you're fine lol

Second of all... literally 90% of the city FUCKING POPPED OUT OF EXISTENCE FOR A DAY. That is not a thing that can go unnoticed.

Imagine you're fucking? Just a normal dude in Yokohama. And you just. Don't exist for a bit. Or maybe you were hanging out in the backrooms and thought it was a dream or something. But imagine you pop back where you were and a whole calendar day has passed. There's crashed cars everywhere, evidence of many battles and lots of destroyed buildings, half of downtown is destroyed, that Weird Ass Tower fell down, there are at least a hundred Fucking Dead Bodies killed by mysterious means just, fucking, hanging out in really ridiculous places... and almost nobody remembers what happened.

This wasn't just a few people who disappeared, this was EVERYBODY. Are they just gonna pop back in their cars? Or the spot where they had disappeared? And just go? This is fine where did all these corpses come from? Half the buildings have been leveled by Dragon Shaped Footprints ah godzilla moment lol

How did they cover this up? How could Ango And The Government possibly fucking manage to contain something this size? Yokohama would look like it had just been through the fucking owari no seraph catastrophe. And yet. Somehow this isnt a problem.

Even the ability users seemed not to really bring this up at all after. Yknow. Ok. They treat it like a fever dream and never mention it again because that's what it was.

I think something that sums this up perfectly is the part at the end where the fourth wall kinda breaks a little and the writers apologize for all of their motives and actions being a hot mess. Tsujimura is like "hey ango lol... What TM" and Ango just turns around like "yeah you wouldn't understand... dazai and fyodor and shibusawa are just... you can't understand them... they're a lot like joker from the movie joker."

essay complete go about your days and contemplate my word vomit 👍