#this is also very much a grant getting triggered moment | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sugoi-writes · 9 months ago

Note

REQUEST TIME :333 ummm this is actually my first time requesting here but I’ve been so obsessed with Human Alastor so maybe a sexy thing where he hunts you (fem reader) down in the wooded near his cabin with his shotgun? This is so dangerous lol but he’s shooting and splitting trees as you zip pass them in your nightgown (he would never shoot you it’s for the flare) you stumble over an old stump and he is on your ass! You fight and tumble around before he’s dragging you by your ankles back to his cabin to have his way with you? (All of this was very much consensual between the two of you elaborated foreplay if you will!)

Trigger Happy - Human! Alastor x Fem!Reader

My friend in Satan, I am SO sorry for how long this took! I was honestly getting worked up over it!!! Hate the delay, but I hope the story itself will be worth it! Just as a warning, this is getting towards risky territory, but I promise nothing too bleak. A few warnings: Guns, a heated foot chase, you get distracted there for a while, some physical violence/tussling, f!reader, some f!oral and m!oral, overtsim, rope/restraints, and some REALLY filthy penetrative sex. Y'all are some absolute freaks in this one. Hope you enjoy! (ALSO THIS IS LIKE INSANELY LONG IM SORRY ITS LIKE 9K--)

SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO @minkdelovely and @hazelfoureyes for helping me through this and being my scream queens/beta readers dhoduhdouhdoduhdohidoi <3 (I'm in love with both of you BLINKBLINK)

Taglist: @ieatcocoa @nocturessa @tsukikos-stuff @leviskittywh0re

@polyo-nym-y @cosmiccandydreamer @littlebluefishtail @your-excellenc-z21 and others (if you wanna be tagged I'll add you! Sorry I've never made a taglist before???)

🩸🦌🩸

Your hands fidgeted in your lap as Alastor finished the final touches of tonight's meal. You regarded him nervously as his humming filled the humble interior of his inherited cabin. He was in such a good mood, you thought... Why spoil something so tender and domestic between the two of you?

For a while now, you knew of your darling beau's aversion to many things, physical intimacy being one he struggled with most. At least, compared to most... You hardly minded, as when you were on the receiving end of such of intimacy... Well, let's just say you could usually expect to be bedridden for a few hours. You swallow the bile creeping up, nerves reflected in your voice as you spoke," Alastor, dear?"

A pair of kind, almond-colored eyes looked upon you, making your heart leap. Alastor's eyes turned a warm amber when exposed to the charming lighting provided by the fireplace.

"Yes, darling?" Alastor cooed, his tone still airy and filled with a domestic softness.

"Could we... could we talk for a moment? Before dinner?"

Your partner gave you a bemused look, as if he were asked a ridiculous question. His hands settled on his hips as he rocks his weight onto his other foot, eyebrows raising.

"Dear, why let the food grow cold? Could we not discuss it over dinner? I tell you, it's JUST like my mother's; it's hearty, filling, and--"

"Alastor," you interrupt, a stern bite cutting through your meek tone," Pl-Please... If I try to tell you while you're eating, you'd probably choke." Alastor grants you an interesting look, eyes widening with your change in demeanor. But of course, he relents, sighing like a demure housewife.

"Well then, who am I to refuse... Choking is rather unpleasant, anyhow." Quickly, Alastor fusses over your meal, dousing the fire to let it simmer.

"Now then: we have a few minutes before I need to stir it. Tell me... what's troubling you?"

You gesture for Alastor to sit with you, to take his place at the table. He silently moves towards it in confident, wide strides. You watch nervously as he sits, crossing his legs formally. You felt the sweat trickle into your brow as his simple actions felt like they took an eternity... Alastor then sets his elbows on the table, resting his chin upon his folded hands. He looked... entirely too comfortable, a stark contrast with your stiff spine and sweating palms.

Alastor watches you quietly, granting you a moment to collect your thoughts. And then, you speak:

"Alastor... you know how-- well, it's been a while since we last-- Uhhm..." The quiver of your lip tips your partner off immediately, his eyes squinting. The smile that plays on his face is telling, his teeth gleaming under the dim light.

"Oh honestly, what am I to do with you? Yes, of course we can try for a little romp tonight. But... I sense that our standard 'bedroom practices' aren't the only thing clouding your mind?"

He just didn't get it. He didn't understand the weight of what was on your mind, and how quickly it was going to hit him. You were thinking of this for weeks, terrified of his reaction... But, in the comfort of the cozy, warm cabin: it was now or never. You felt a tinge of guilt as you felt his flirty smile widen, ready to shatter his expectations.

You nod in affirmation, forcing yourself to look his way fully," Right. I have an idea. Something to... change things up. 'Make it a bit more interesting, if you'll hear me out."

Alastor hums pleasantly, one of his hands gesturing outward in an animated way. He regards you just the same, opening the floor to you. You steel your nerves, hands turning to balled up fists as you formulate your next thought bluntly," I want you to hunt me, Alastor. I wanted to be hunted."

A silence befalls the room, causing panic to rise in your chest. Your chaste, Creole partner stares back at you, eyes wide. His expression was damnably neutral, as if processing your demand. You immediately start onto a tangent, leaning forward as you make your case.

"L-Look, I know how that sounds... I don't want you to actually hurt me or kill me-- I mean-- I feel like you'd be terribly sad if I were gone, but-- No, I mean in a more..."

When you trail off, you expect Alastor to pick up on your meaning. You sigh with frustration, your hands mirroring each other as they mimed your body's curves and contours," ...sexual... way."

Alastor's expression morphs under the light of the fireplace, which burned dutifully. Alastor's black pupils dilate, his mouth falling ajar. He sits upright in his seat, leaning back as he takes everything in.

" You want me to... pursue you. Hunt you... like I would wild game? Is... Is that what you're asking?"

You nod firmly, your hands trembling," I-I know, I know... it's different. I told you it would be different--"

"Different is hardly a bad thing, mon cherie... 'just surprising, is all," Alastor drawls, his eyes softening. He could see how much you were worked up. You were scared to disappoint; scared to be rejected. He hated to see the soured look on your face, and was determined to replace it with something else," What exactly do you have in mind? This-- pursuit of ours... what are the conditions?"

It was now your turn for your face to morph, a mix of surprise and relief, a faint heat brewing in your stomach," Well... I'd like you to treat it like a legitimate chase. I could be a deer, in a sense... something to bring home for dinner. You'd chase me, and I would do my best to fight back, run away...," your eyes wander over to the shotgun by the cabin door, eyes glazed from your impure thoughts," But I don't want you empty handed. I want... I'd like for you to bring the shotgun. Use it, even... as long as you don't actually try to kill me." Alastor's expression, you swore, was now the rawest it's been since you've first met him. His heart was on his sleeve: confusion, shock, delirium, and... some sort of desire. A hunger.

Alastor smoothly rises from the table, his footsteps almost echoing in the silence. He makes his way to his nightstand, fishing out something you couldn't see. When Alastor turns towards you, you hear a familiar clink, as his revolver shines in the warm light. He opens the chamber, showing to you that it is empty, before sealing it with a resolute spin. Your fists unclench, and you let out a breath that you hadn't realized you were holding.

"Dear, as lovely and authentic as it would be... I would hate to bring the shotgun. That tool is far too accurate and far too deadly, even in an inexperienced person's hands. A round so small can tear a hole wider than your skull, given the proper range..." When Alastor returned to the table, he sets the empty revolver there, your heart thumping at the implications. He slid it towards you, as if a peace offering," I wonder what may have caused this idea to fester... But it's one I'm most certainly intrigued by," he offers simply. You tried your best not to look away, his smile exposing just how fascinated he was with your proposal. His eyes were a dead giveaway: he was more than willing to carry this act out.

Your hand ghosts over the revolver, the wood of the grip much warmer than the cool metal of the barrel. Alastor clears his throat, calling your attention back to him," If I may, dearest, I also have a request..."

You feel your heart thudding loudly in your chest, the loud pulse making you deaf to the rest of the world.

"Which is...?" you attempt to counter smoothly, but the breathiness of your tone gives you away. Alastor's eyes squint, familiar with that lilt of yours. He relished seeing you like this: embarrassed, sheepish... But most of all, you felt an overwhelming desire to have him agree; have him take charge. His ego bloomed right under your nose... He wanted to see just how badly this desire had been burning inside of you.

"Do you recall the nightgown that you wore when we first embraced, love? The white little number with lace trim?" You nodded immediately, a heat rising in your face as you recalled your first night with your partner," Y-Yes... yes, I think I have it with me, actually."

Alastor moves over to your side of the table, kneeling down to your height. He grabs your chin, gently tilting your head to meet his eyes. You couldn't help the spark of desire that shot up your spine as a wicked smile stretches across Alastor's face," Good. I'd like to see it thoroughly ruined once I'm done with you."

You swore you had a stroke, your eyes wider than the dinner saucers that set the cozy, oak dinner table. You were brought back to reality as Alastor patted your cheek, practically singing when he spoke again.

"Now: let's eat. You'll need this to have your strength, dear~ The hunt starts this evening. Once dinner is finished, you'll have until I fully load the revolver to run. And that's when I'll come for you... understood?"

You had all but forgotten how to breathe, a stupefied nod his only reply as Alastor went back to the stove," Ohhh, almost forgot! We still have some bread from last night! I hope that's alright, dear~"

You were almost numb from the overwhelming sensations and emotions that coursed through your body. You were so excited and so nervous that you couldn't even think of eating. But Alastor had worked so hard to make you a fresh, homecooked meal... who were you to let it go cold? Despite yourself, you happily devoured the entire course, and were soon given seconds. Alastor grants you a coy smile, his expression saying what he kept silent: eat up. You're gonna need it.

---

Like the dutiful partner you were, you helped Alastor clean every dish and utensil used to prepare dinner. Ever the vixen, you even smeared some of the broth across his cheek, just to lick it off. The act made Alastor shudder, but he spared you, merely squeezing your hips and giving you a kiss. As for tonight... well, you wondered just how gentle he would be... if at all.

Once you had dried the last utensil, your ears perked up at the sound of a metallic clink. Your eyes widened, head whipping around to see Alastor opening the barrel to his revolver. He glances towards you, a neutral smile on his face," Oh! Sorry to startle you, dear. Just filling the chamber. 'Thought I heard something stalking outside... I might have to investigate it. You can never be to careful, these days."

You gasped, eyes dilating as you shook with anticipation. Now, now was the time.

You sprinted over to your suitcase, throwing it on the bed as you frantically searched for your nightgown. He was eager to start too, it seemed--

Click. First bullet loaded.

"I say, what a strange time of year...," Alastor rambled as he spun the glistening chamber, pushing up his glasses with the wrist of his other hand. The second bullet was clutched in his fingers, the rest scattered on the counter. You nearly shrieked as you frantically tear off your loungewear, exchanging it for the gown that Alastor requested. He would have thought the action was adorable and meek, if it weren't for his desire to fuck you stupid.

A bemused chuckle fills the air, dark and full of promise.

"What do you think is out there right now, love? A little rabbit, perhaps? With a fluffy white tail?"

Click. Second round.

You made your way hastily to the door as Alastor watched you, wiping the barrel of his revolver with the edge of his flannel. He was taking his time and making this spectacle: that you knew for sure. He seemed aloof, unbothered by your accelerated heartrate... but it agonized him to no end. This zesty little suggestion already had his mind reeling, possibilities of how he would claim you crossing over him every time he blinked.

"No, perhaps it's a deer? A doe, even? I hear it's about that time of year... mating season, that is." Your face grew hot at the notion, cursing yourself for not better preparing for this. You made sure to pull on your hiking shoes, tying the laces tightly. You prayed that they'd stay on to protect your feet.

Alastor hums with curiosity, blinking. Another image of you, trembling and moaning under his body, making his nethers pulse with interest.

"Ohh, maybe a bobcat! Something feisty... I wonder how it would taste?"

Click number three. Halfway through...

You turn around, chest already heaving as you made eye contact with Alastor. He saw you for the deranged, desperate animal that you were. His eyes matched your energy, an uncanny smile on his face. Alastor's pupils were mere pinpricks, the overwhelming expanse of amber and caramel brown nearly glowing.

"I don't know, baby... But whatever it is, I hope it runs fast," you grin to Alastor as he mirrors your expression, his tongue running across his pristine teeth.

"I'd hate to think of what would happen if you caught up to it."

With that, you were out of the door, unable to hear the rapid succession of bullets four, five, and six. Teasing be damned, he was making himself impatient. Alastor made a show of closing the weapon with a hard snap and spin, a satisfying weight settling into his hand. With the gun fully loaded, it just felt so... right. A fascination he gained from his father, unfortunately. Though he did appreciate the skills he learned from the sick bastard, that was the extent of his affection.

He'd have a good number of things to thank him for before the end of the night, as he slipped on his own pair of outdoor boots. When he stepped out onto the deck, he had caught a glimpse of you. That delicate little nightgown was fluttering and fleeting, catching the moonlight. It had to have been around 9 or 10 o'clock at night... A perfect time for your little chase to commence. Not to mention, the cool, crisp Fall air had made everything entirely better; not too hot, and not too cold. For all the weather that permeated in this southern state, Fall in Louisiana had been one of Alastor's favorites. It was his favorite namely for Open Season... and how convenient for him that you were added to the list of eligible, wild game...

He inhaled deeply through his nose, savoring the scent of evergreen and pine tickling his senses. He held his breath like this for a while, feeling his chest expand and burn from the denial of oxygen. Once he'd had enough, he exhaled heavily, a shudder running through his entire body. He let you have a decent head start. Now the chase could begin.

---

Your lungs burned from how swiftly you ran, feet carrying you further than you had ever pushed yourself. In that moment, you almost felt liberated, free… as if something had rolled off your chest. You aren't quite sure where this sense of euphoria came from, but you embraced it all the same, laughing breathlessly as your dress caught in stray branches and debris, your boots splashing into the wet, almost marshy forest floor. You breathed in through your nose, feeling a similar pull as Alastor to just take everything in… You were greeted with smells of wood and earth, though, in this part of the forest, you caught whiff of a water source nearby. As if a tether were around your waist, you felt called to it. Your running came to a steady, calm trot, your eyes trying to adjust to the darkness of the night.

You stop just by a clearing, a familiar bayou greeting you. You marveled at the scenery before you, scarcely lit up by the moonlight. You had almost forgotten about your little game with Alastor, brushing stray Spanish Moss aside as you stepped fully out into the open. You smile fondly, a memory crossing your mind:

You, frantically shaking Alastor's shoulders as you try to point out a doe and her darling, new fawn. But, in your desperation, the deer were scared away, frightened by your presence. You had been heartbroken, though your partner swore up and down that he saw them, and that even so: your enthusiasm was a much more charming sight.

You walked a few yards from the water's edge, not wanting to chance it; meeting a creature of the night face-to-face was not your idea of "fun"... unless it was Alastor. You were grateful, then, for your hiking boots, as they made navigating the wet earth beneath your feet much easier. However, your foot catches on your next step, causing you to stumble into a nearby tree. When catching yourself, you spy a delicately carved pattern: yours and Alastor's first initials. (You, later on, had added the heart that surrounded them). Initially, you hadn't wanted to deface a tree like this, but Alastor, ever the charmer, insisted that it would become a landmark for you; a way to tell where you were if you were ever lost...

Your hands traced the familiar carvings, the rivets scratching against your fingertips gently. You just felt your heart swell more, the thoughts of your softer moments making your mind fog. Even with someone hot on your tail, your focus waning. You began humming to yourself as you continued your restful stroll, running through moments in your memory that made you feel particularly cozy; safe.

Just when you had felt your safest, a loud SNAP of a tree twig sounded to your rear left. You froze in your tracks, turning feverishly towards the sound. Your once still, content heart was racing wildly, eyes as wide as the moon looming above you. You slowly turned your entire body to face the noise, making sure to keep your eyes focused on the direction you heard the snap. You start to walk backwards, making your way stealthily towards the tree line.

Most animals will attack you with your back turned… facing them will deter an assault, even if for a few moments, you thought… Just before you could disappear, having half a mind to sprint-- a sudden, deafening CRACK rang out, followed by the splintering of wood. You looked to your left again, as you witness the tree next to you receive a battle scar: a bullet wound.

RUN.

You bolted into the thick underbrush, doing your best to stay low to the ground as a set of steady, patient steps pursued you. Had you not had a good distance on him, your hunter's pace would have been undiscernible from your own. It thrilled you; it horrified you. You knew that Alastor had a knack for hunting, and had you known he was THIS committed, you would have asked for a better head start.

A startling thought plagued your mind as you had a moment of clarity, your face paling. You ASSUMED this was Alastor… what if it wasn't? What if this was a wild animal, who had its sights on you? What if it was another marksman, and you were trespassing on their property? The thought made your throat run dry, the instinct to become small and hide winning over your other senses.

You nearly shrieked as a second bullet wizzes past you, less than a yard away, before it strikes the tree to your right. To your horror: it was at eye level. Had this been a stranger… they were going for the kill.

You crouch all the way down to the forest floor, searching frantically until you spy an hollowed-out tree log. You slink your way over, searching for any residents or critters, before diving headfirst into the tree husk. You laid on your back, bringing your legs in as far as they could go. You winced as your knees scrapped against the dead wood. Unable to calm down, you hastily cover your mouth with both hands. You were doing your absolute best to calm your breathing. Think, now, think… you had to think your way out of this mess.

The steady beat of the hunter's footsteps slowed, until they stop entirely. You resisted the urge to sigh in relief, still unsure if you were safe or not. Eventually, you couldn't hear a thing over the deafening stillness, the normal noises of the woods silenced by your escapade. Much like you, other creatures seemed to wait with bated breath. Maybe they were terrified of the hunter… maybe they were terrified of you.

You twitch as you hear the familiar clink of metal, a revolver's spinning wheelhouse catching your ear. You weren't out of the woods yet… this could still be another person. This could very well be a real hunt… A sharp inhale sounds just a few yards away. You nearly jumped out of your skin, eyes slamming shut. When did that hunter get closer!? Had you misjudged how far away you were from him?!

"Only 4 more bullets, Little Cottontail… let's see if you can evade them all~"

Relief and terror washed over you simultaneously: Alastor. Your body was paralyzed with conflicting emotions, breath picking up as you hear footsteps stirring closer. You could feel the panic rising in your face, blood pressure raging; but you can also feel the traitorous, hazy heat that engulfed your core. Either way, Alastor had you completely on edge, your fragile mind was on the verge of caving in either way. Should you run away, or run to him? That was your conflict…

Knock knock

Your eyes fly open as you dare to look between your bent legs, spying a pair of steely, hungry brown eyes. Pupils mere pinpricks, the whites of his eyes were nearly glowing under the light of the moon.

"There's that sweet, little rabbit!"

You shrieked as you were pulled out of the log, knees and back scrapping against the wood of your shelter. When you met solid earth, you kicked and fought, eyes wide and animalistic. Your body still fell into conflict; you wanted this to be a real chase: FIGHT BACK. Alastor was quick to avoid your kicks, straddling your hips as he tried to restrain your flailing arms. Never did you make contact, but Alastor was cautious to avoid any accidental hits, all the same.

"Oh dear, was I wrong after all? Am I really still chasing a scared, feral little rabbit~? Or something bigger…" Alastor teased, managing to seize one of your hands. It was immediately pinned above your head as you thrashed, grunting and groaning in your efforts to escape. Alastor pressed further into you, eliciting a tight -lipped moan as you felt an unmistakable hardness rub against your core. He was enjoying this much more than his face allowed him to show…

"Be a good little pet, won't you? Won't you let me take you back to my cabin? I promise I'll make this quick and painless~"

You thrashed your head back and forth. You didn't want this to be quick. You didn't WANT it to be painless. You wanted more. MORE of this.

In a daring fit of heightened hormones and rushed decision making, a loud SLAP filled the air. You panted as your hand stung, Alastor's face now jerked to the left, looking away. A flushed, red print was painted across his handsome face, his eyes wide with disbelief. He sat there like this for a few moments, his grip on your hand all but gone. You took this opportunity to slink out from under him, using his dumbfounded expression as a gauge. Truly, how long did you have until he was grounded?

Sadly, it wasn't long, a slender hand cupping the offending, fading mark. You looked down as you saw something move, your mouth watering: his cock was even harder than before, twitching from the sudden outburst. A shaky, broken sigh left Alastor's trembling lips as he slowly looked back towards you. A deep dusty rose flooded his cheeks as he chuckled, his voice full of a wicked venom. His free hand fished for his revolver, the barrel now pointing straight at you.

"Alright, then… no more playing nice."

You immediately vaulted out of the way as a third shot rang out, impacting the earth you had just been sprawled upon. Alastor elegantly got to his feet, like a regal vampire exiting his coffin. He pressed his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose, pupils wide with desire as he watched you bob and weave into the trees.

"Three more to go," he growled, his grin widening madly as he broke out into a frenzied sprint.

The panic was steadily rising, as did your burning desire. You realized, with horror, that Alastor's pace nearly went in double time, and he was steadily gaining on you. And so, you figured if you were truly to get caught, it might as well be a trap for him too--

BANG

Shot number four rang out, a terror-filled scream igniting the night; this shot was less than a foot from your trembling, straining right leg. You muscles were scorched from the effort you put yourself in, core fully engaged as you tried to focus on breathing. You were unsuccessful, already far too overworked and overheated. You came to the harsh realization that you couldn't run much longer.

You started charting your course carefully, taking dips and turns in hopes to throw Alastor off of your trail… but ever the clever man, he never lost sight of you. And, despite your best efforts, he was nearly on top of your imaginary cottontail. You dared to look behind you, searching for the madman coming for you, only to see he was no where in sight. Your pace slowed down, confused as his footsteps cease. You came to a dead stop, spinning around wildly to find any sign of your darling partner. Your mouth ran dry as you panted, legs nearly giving out from under you. As you took in your surroundings, you feared that you may be lost… truly, genuinely lost.

"A-Al… Alastor? Baby...?" you rasp between pants, a hand coming up to your heaving chest. You take a few, cautious steps back towards the direction you came from, squinting harshly. Your eyes still had not adjusted to the low visibility of the dank, dark forest.

"A-Al… AL?!" you call desperately, scared that you may have lost him, or worse: maybe he was injured... You go to take off again, before a hand snakes around your throat. You couldn't scream as the hand squeezes your pulse, a cold, metallic object pressed into your lower back. Your fear transformed into relief, which transformed into desire, all within a span of few seconds. Familiar, heated lips brushed against the shell of your ear. Alastor's breath was heavy on your skin.

"I guess I didn't need all of my rounds, after all." Alastor nearly purred, despite his labored breathing. His warm breath followed his lips as they came to the junction of your jaw and neck, three fingers unfurling from your pulse. This left him just enough room to litter the bared skin of your neck with short, open mouthed kisses, your eyes fluttering closed. Even with only two fingers squeezing your throat, you still felt lightheaded, unable to escape. You shuddered under his grasp, your body instantly surrendering to his desire. It was official: the chase was officially over. Alastor knew that the moment you sighed into his touch.

"Good girl~"

In a rapid succession, you were grabbed and hauled over Alastor's wide shoulder, his free hand tucking his revolver away. Your hands flew down to grope and run over Alastor's body, your lungs still exhausted from the strife of running away. Alastor allowed your hands to explore, appearing unphased as he carried you out of the woods. He resisted every fiber in his being to not bend you over and fuck you into the damp earth; a filthy act for a filthy-minded girl like you. But, he had at least some modicum of class… he needed to make this last; he would ensure this was something you wouldn't soon forget.

-- You felt embarrassed by how rapidly your heart beat, how frantically you were tugging at Alastor's flannel, but when your eyes looked up to a different building, your heart nearly stopped. You were walking toward 'the shack', Alastor called it… THIS was where he took all of his wild game after hunting them down. Seeing your unease, he slapped you on the ass, hoping to chase away your nerves," Don't worry, darling… I told you I would be gentle~"

His words contradicted his actions as you were practically thrown into the shed, sprawled out onto the floor. Your eyes tried taking in your surroundings, but it was far too dark to see. You yelped as both of your hands were seized and tied with a coarse jute rope, the fibers pricking your wrists. When you felt Alastor leave you, your legs came together, heat still pooling in your lower abdomen," S-Sooo, Mr. Huntsman~ You've caught me~ What do you plan to d--" Your questioning was cut short as you were suddenly jerked onto your knees, your hands now taunt over your head. A few more tugs on your rope, and you were standing upright, struggling to balance on the balls of your feet. You wobbled as you heard shuffling behind you, rope being fastened, and the clink of Alastor's revolver laying on a flat surface.

Alastor left you in suspense like this for a few moments, as he brought his hands together with a satisfied hum. The crisp sound made you jump as if it were gunfire, your cunt nearly drooling as you strained to look for Alastor in the pitch.

"Now then… 'can't see very well like this, can we?"

A lantern was lit just in front of your face, startling you. You realized that Alastor had all but held his breath to get closer to you, those same, silent footsteps deceiving you again. You couldn't find the words to speak, eyes wide with disbelief and desire as you stared back at Alastor's shit eating grin.

"Ahhh, yes… Finally managed to capture you, you tricky thing~," he mused as he flicked the tip of your nose. He chuckled when you wiggled it back and forth and recoiled, almost mimicking the animal he claimed you to be. "No, I don't think you're privy to know what I plan to do to you, with words… But, I can certainly show you." He seized your cheeks roughly with one hand, puckering your lips as he closed the distance between your bodies," But you might enjoy that too, wouldn't you?" Alastor's other hand ran dangerously up your trembling thigh, his face cool and collected as you were practically panting under his touch.

"P-Please…"

Alastor sends you a questioning look, before grinning maliciously," I didn't realize animals could speak, let alone have permission to." A harsh grip on your thigh anchored you to Alastor's pelvis, and you felt the familiar, hardened length on your core. You whined, obeying in silence as Alastor ground against you. His mouth fell open as he pressed his hips again, eager to seek some friction.

"You'd like me to use you, wouldn't you…? Breed this body like a deranged rabbit while you're helpless, defenseless under my touch…" Your mouth watered at the idea, your eyes fluttering as his hand shifted to palm your ass. His smirk was very telling, both hands moving to spread and palm your backside properly. His touch was slow and sensual on your trembling, supple body.

"Or maybe I should lay my claim here… Uncharted wilderness is quite thrilling to explore, don't you think?" His breath was so low it rattled his own ribcage. Without warning, a groan was torn from both of your throats as you bucked into Alastor's hips. Your eagerness was not unwelcomed...

Alastor was rewarded with another broken, wanton moan for his scandalous ideas and his wandering hands. He realized, in that moment, he was telling you exactly what he wanted to do to you. And, in that same moment, he decided that he didn't fucking care.

"Or maybe… maybe I can't wait--" Alastor starts to drag his lips down your form, kissing down your neck, then the valley of your breasts, then your abdominals… before landing at the hem of your still-concealed underwear. "I'm quite parched, love… Surely you won't mind if I quench my thirst, first?" Alastor's hands snake up your thighs as your nightgown is pushed up, revealing his current target: your clothed loins. His pupils shrink as he inhales, almost nuzzling into your inviting cunt. You whine weakly when he gazes up to you with mesmerized eyes; he was as bent out of shape as you were, and he was struggling to keep it concealed… Was he really going to enjoy himself, or sink his teeth in? Your heart stuttered at either possibility.

You nodded down to Alastor, wobbling as you spread your legs as far as you could. Your wrists were reminded of their predicament as you tried to move, thrashing in your restraints. You didn't speak, a firm nod your answer and consent. As Alastor kissed your awaiting heat, he shifted your legs onto his shoulders, alleviating the pressure on your feet. Had you not been so aroused, you would be heavily flustered by this gesture: a kindness yet something so brazen, even for your sweet beau.

He squeezed the meat of your thighs, humming as he licked a warm, wet stripe between your covered lips, the fabric of your panties already drenched with your arousal. You swore you saw his eyelids flutter as he sighed against you, diving in more earnestly. You wailed with frustration, unable to feel the full effect of his tongue just yet. You cared very little, however, as some attention was better than none. Your struggled against your restraints once more, warning hands digging into your thighs. You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, but it simmered into a moan with each wave of pleasure. You wanted to scream as Alastor continued to tease you, unable to regulate your breathing or your moans.

He wasn't kidding; he wanted to eat you out like a man starved, his tongue dancing along your drenched panties wildly. He left no surface unmarked by his sinful, silver tongue. Alastor practically moaned around your sensitive bud, your mind reeling at the sensation as your hips bucked subconsciously. Whether it was because he was enjoying himself, or strictly to stimulate your clit, you weren't sure… but that little noise sent jolts of electricity right to your core.

Despite this: you were rewarded with a nip to your pearl, a whiney, breathy moan your weak rebuttal. You secretly hoped he would tear you apart, just to put you back together and break you again.

Your mind refocused as you felt your underwear being moved to the side, a bold, eager tongue now attending to your bare, puffy folds. You shrieked his name, whimpering from the stimulation. His tongue worked dexterously, licking and coddling every curve, dip, and crevice. Alastor's movements were now raw and unfiltered, MUCH to your delight.

Your legs caged his head, squeezing him closer to you as you felt your orgasm forming at an alarming rate. You couldn't help but mewl, head falling forward and limp as Alastor buried his face into your mound. His straight, rigid nose prodded your clit as he drove his tongue into your aching entrance, your taste and scent engulfing his thoughts. You let out a long, satisfied moan as he began to pump his long tongue in and out of you, working both his spit and your arousal in and out. The slick skin-on-skin squelching did nothing to calm the fire behind your eyes, toes popping with how violently they curled. Alastor continued his brutal pace, unable to get enough of your taste, scent, and special, little cries that were made just for him.

"F-fuhhh~ F-Fahhh--! Ahh! A-Al!" you cried, wanting desperately to use your words; you tried to give him a warning. You were near your climax, tears pricking your half-lidded eyes. You heard Alastor grunt into you, hands rubbing and kneading your thighs, as if asking you to crush his head more. You obliged, bucking into his mouth as your release started to approach. He had his mouth full, no doubt! Even so: you swore you heard Alastor moan and whisper into your folds hastily, suckling and swirling your clit to make you cum.

"F-Fuck-- Oh fuck, cum for me, then--"

Your body spasmed, head tossing back sharply,"F-Fuck, Al-- Al!!! Fuck, cumming--"

The dizzying affect swam over you swiftly, a scream that could be mistaken for pain filling the tiny shack you were in. The force and sudden rise in pleasure was overwhelming, almost maddening as Alastor wound you back down. You were gently set back onto your feet, legs shaking... All the while, his tongue never stopped, making you whine from overstimulation.

"A-Al… please, that's-- G-God! You can stop now-- Ahh~" You would have doubled over if your hands weren't restrained, your tongue lolling out from between your lips. The delightful slurping from below didn't cease, and seemed to become even more feverish. Alastor smiled up at you, parting for just a moment before licking his slick-covered lips.

" Am I not allowed to have seconds, dear?"

Your face seemed to catch on fire as you try to formulate a reply. However, Alastor's mouth knocked it out of you, head vacant as he continues to ravage you. He suckled on your abused clit, hands holding your hips in place as you tried to squirm away from his devious touch.

"F-Fuck! F-Fuck, Al, please--!!! T-Too much-- Ahhn-- T-Too much!!" you cried, your wrists chaffed against the rope that bound you.

Alastor did not relent, instead pressing you further into his face as he feasted upon you. His slurping and gulping nearly doubled with a grotesque volume, his eyes wide and watching you. You trembled under his intense gaze, rushing towards a very intense, unnecessary second orgasm.

"F-Fuck-- Alastor!! A-Al! Fuck, don't--" you whined, tears streaming down your face as the searing heat of the new orgasm washed over you," Pl-Please-- FUCK--"

Another shriek bounced off the walls as a hasty, overwhelming feeling flooded your loins. You winced with embarrassment as you felt a sudden gush of warmth coat your sex and thighs. Of course, Alastor was on the receiving end, but didn't seem to mind, his tongue only slowing when you were practically sobbing into the afterglow. Your legs completely gave out on you, wincing as your arms held your entire body aloft," F-Fuck… Fuuuuckkk…" you whined as your head spun, your eyes blurry from the pleased, hot tears that stained your face. A sweet, warm hand cupped your cheek, forcing you to look Alastor's way.

"An absolutely breathtaking meal, darling…," Alastor panted, his eyes warm but still full of a lusty haze," Please… if you'll have me, I simply can't stop there."

When you gave him a weak but sure nod, Alastor nearly bolted to the secured rope, allowing you to descend to your knees. The warm wooden floor dug into your legs as you waited. Alastor was quick to resecure the rope before looping back to you. " If I were to ravage your pussy now, I'm afraid this little show might end early… So for both our sakes…" Alastor swiftly freed his aching cock, a hand lazily pumping his flushed member. Despite his aversion to touching himself, he sighed into the relief his hand provided.

"Won't you please… allow me to use your sweet lips instead, pet?"

How could you say no, with his words tumbling out sweetly?

With a speed that made Alastor dizzy, you beckoned him to you, tongue first. He allowed you to kiss the head of his flushed cock, eyes drinking in your expressions and your body. He had half a mind to cut the rope holding you hostage, but decided against it when you took him into your warm mouth. Alastor hastily covered his lips, stifling a groan as his other hand fisted your hair. You didn't mind, hollowing your cheeks as you took as much of him in as you could. His public hair tickled the very tip of your nose, his musk invading your senses. Had his mind been clearer, Alastor would've worried about your ability to breathe... but he had to focus on not throat fucking you first.

"Shit-- so warm--," Alastor groaned, his voice still muffled. Despite this, his words reached your perked ears, and causing your wet entrance to flutter around nothing. Alastor flinched, his hips spasming as you took him down to his base. He was jammed far into your throat, your eyes rolling back as you tried to relax around his engorged member. A choked noise and a sputter erupted around his cock, a pleased moan eagerly following. As much as Alastor was enjoying himself, you would be lying if you said choking on Alastor's cock wasn't fun for you.

"Fuck, don't hurt yourself, darling-- I don't need-- FUCK--" The moment you started to bob your head, all words and worries flew out the window, the hand in your hair beginning to guide your descent. Alastor felt like he was being incinerated, his body electrified by your wriggling tongue and tight mouth. His restraint was beginning to wane, hair fanning across his sweat-slicked forehead," Fuck, you take this so well-- Take ME so well--"

Alastor panted, hardly able to keep his eyes open as you whined around him. His grip in your hair grew harsher, his hips beginning to stir.

"So malleable, so eager-- Good God--" Alastor's head fell forward as you created a delicious, tight suction around his dick. The sensation nearly drove him to bellowing, your name tumbling clumsily from his parched lips. He stared at the point where his cock disappeared into your mouth, then up to your teary eyes. Fresh tears spilled over your flushed cheeks, his words causing a shiver to run up your spine. Alastor, completely enthralled, felt his cock throb at the sight of your desperation, gritting his teeth," FUCK-- Damn it all--!"

Straining to reach out of sight, his hand ends up landing on a carving knife. Once he could grip it properly, he hastily swings above you. You flinch for a moment, before your arms relax and fall to your sides. You realized he cut you loose, but you had no time to dabble on the thought. Alastor's cock slid out of your mouth, your jaw setting into a neutral, open shape. Alastor started to stroke himself hastily, using his other hand to gesture in a circle," Turn around-- on all fours. NOW."

You didn't hesitate when that dark, brisk command was thrown your way, clambering like a newborn deer. You turn to look back at him, wagging your hind in a teasing way," Don't want to waste a drop, huh?" you teased, a coy smile on your face. Alastor laughed, breathy and high, as he fell to his knees. He easily towered over you as he aligned himself to your dribbling, plush entrance," You know me too well, love."

The plunge of his cock nearly knocked you onto your stomach, your mouth falling open in a silent scream. To your pleasant surprise, Alastor had bottomed out inside of you. There was a slight discomfort from the sudden intrusion (one that wasn't unwelcome) as a strong arm wrapped around your torso.

" B-Bear with me. I'll fill you up soon, dear--"

You nearly cried as Alastor began to move, hips already hammering into your most intimate place at an animalistic rate. You were truly fucking like rabbits, unable to do anything but chase your own desires. Alastor buried his face into your neck, biting down on your shoulder to muffle his grunts. You were unable to stifle your own, the sounds of your ecstasy bouncing around the room. The steady, rhythmic squelching of your privates were almost drowned out by the steady plap, plap, plap against your ass with every brutish press. You were getting close... And as Alastor's voice rose with yours, you realized he couldn't be fa behind. You allowed yourself to fall forward, cheek smashed against the grain of the floorboards as you arched your back," F-Fuck… fuck me, Alastor-- Hah-- Oh god, please--" Your eyes slammed shut as Alastor's pace only increased, his hips angling in a way that stroked your g-shot with every press.

"Yes, love-- fuck yes, you want this? Harder? Faster? Fuck--" He accented your mental demands with more energy, a hand cupping your bouncing, right breast as the other caressed your stuffed pussy. He sought your puffy pearl at the apex of your cunt, and drew quick, deliberate circles into it.

" Fuck, fuck! I need you to cum-- Want you to cum--," Alastor begged, his breath hot and heavy in your ear," O-One more time, please-- then I'll make sure to fuck my-- Oh fuck! I'll fuck you full of my cum--"

Your mouth hung open, drool pooling under your cheek as you felt your orgasm building for the third time that night, your hands clawing into the wooden floor," F-Fahh-- ahh! Yes!!! Fuck me, shit-- fuck me stupid, Al!!!" you wailed, eyes flying open as he pinched your clit. You clamped resolutely around his cock, your body locking up-- Yes, yes, just a few more thrusts--

"FUCK!!!"

You came with a wail and a tremor, your lungs screaming for air as it was fucked right out of you. Alastor, watching and feeling your body unravel under him, was unable to last any longer. He pressed his forehead into your shoulder, humping once, twice, thrice until he delivered a deep, devastating thrust. Your name became a debauched mantra as you milked his cock, spurts of hot, white seed painting your core. You trembled as you felt it being fucked into you, Alastor sighing into your shoulder.

"Sh-Shit… Shit, I love you. God, I fucking love you--" Alastor cursed into your shoulder, his hips stirring again," I-I can't stop-- fuck, you keep sucking me back in--"

You whined as Alastor started to rut into you again, his hardened length not wavering in the slightest. Like an animal in heat, he proceeded to fuck you through his own climax, eager to fill you up again," F-Fuck, I'm sorry-- You feel too good. Fuck, this is--"

You did your best to look behind you, lips clumsily kissing his temple, his forehead-- whatever you could reach," H-Hahn… hah, it's okay! Pl-Please, use me… F-Fuck, you can use me again! I wanna feel you cum in me again, Al!"

Alastor needed little convincing, his overstimulation outweighed by his desire. The cries that dripped from your mouth were sweeter than the honey and slick between your legs," G-God-- God, mon amour-- FUCK!"

You were smiling deliriously as Alastor used your sensitive cunt to chase another high, head foggy and vision blurry. You could do nothing but whine and shake as you were not only fucked through your orgasm, but felt your loins boil with an impending, new release. You couldn't say a word as each thrust pushed a scream from your diaphragm, Alastor's own throes of pleasure mirroring yours. The both of you made eye contact, and for the first time in a long time you saw… Alastor wasn't smiling?

Alastor's brow was knit together, face hard and yet so flushed as his mouth hung open in a wide, desperate "O". You felt your walls flutter around Alastor, the sight almost as beautiful as his trademark smile. Hastily, Alastor pulled you up by your throat, squeezing as you were forced to face away… The growl that was rumbled into your ear did little to slow down your peak.

The smile that danced across your face was unmatched; you had gotten Alastor to completely melt into you, unable to keep his 'armor' on. He was drunk off of your body, and he was unable to hide just how much he wanted both of you to cum. You mentally cheered, unable to shake the feeling of victory as that tension in your belly snapped. You unleash a broken, primal scream as Alastor fills your womb with another load, his semen spilling out from your writhing cunt. Completely out of breath, both of your collapse to the floor. You were left gasping and wheezing as Alastor sunk into you deeper, fully sheathed and pressing into your cervix. The sensation just made you whimper into your afterglow, lips twitching as you both wound back down…

You both lay on the floor like this for a few moments-- hell, maybe for an hour-- trying to regain your bearings. Trembling hands caressed your body, while your own reached up to pet and stroke at soft, chestnut brown hair. A tired chuckle fills your ears as Alastor closes his eyes, a content sigh rolling off his chest.

"You never fail to amaze me. And, of course… you never fail to make me cum either," Alastor admits, a sheepish blush creeping across his face. You nod, your laughter just as meek," Y-Yeah… fuck, you… you did all the work," you quipped, feeling Alastor shake his head. He kissed at your shoulders, trailing them up your neck and to your heated cheeks.

"Darling, if anything deserves the praise, it would be your nethers… She put on quite a show." You lightly elbowed him in the ribs, the both of you laughing like teenagers," Or maybe your brain… for coming up with a delicious roleplaying scenario?"

You hum for a moment to contemplate, before sighing," Fair enough… I'll take that," you profess, looking up and back towards your exhausted partner," Alastor?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"Thank you again, for all of this... and-- sorry about slapping you earlier," you chuckle, your face burning under Alastor's sweet gaze. He seemed entirely unbothered, shrugging," Ahh, nothing but a passionate act in the heat of the moment. Think nothing of it-- as long as you don't mind me slapping this again~" You squeaked as your ass received a playful tap, like a friendly, sportsman’s slap of approval.

"Good job~"

You rolled underneath Alastor, his cock finally freed when you sprawled out onto your back. You invited him to lay his head on your chest, which he gladly accepted. You could feel the tension in his body dissipate the moment he laid down, his eyes fluttering closed. You brushed the hair away from his face, giggling at the adorable sight of your dopey, sleepy lover.

"Alastor... don't fall asleep on me, now. We still need to get back to the cabin." Alastor groaned, brow furrowing. Stubborn as a bull, he nuzzled into your chest face-first, sighing as your heartbeat lulled him," Just a few more minutes, dear… I don't believe either of us could stand, even if we wanted to."

You hummed, patting Alastor on the head as you conceded," Touché… But I blame you for that."

"And not our heated chase, dearest?"

You snort as you try not to laugh, belly aching from holding back," Fuck, that's fair... Maybe we can play a little closer to home next time?" You smile down at your partner as he adjusts himself. Finally, he came up for air as his chin settled between your breasts, his eyelids still heavy from exhaustion.

"Oh sweetheart, where would the fun be in that? You know I love a good chase~"

He moved further up, caging your body with his as he gave you a tender, quick kiss," You can run, hide, do whatever you like... as long as we both have fun, that's all that matters– our legs be damned..." You can't help but nod and laugh, pushing Alastor back into your bosom. Your sleepy beau can't help but hum in approval, your chest a warm, welcoming pillow.

"You're right... that's all that matters. But really, I-- I love you, Alastor. I can’t help but thank you again. For all of this…" Your partner stills for a moment, a dark, intense flush coming across his face and neck. You can't help but laugh as he hides his face into your chest again, sighing dramatically," I love you too, mon ange... For now, I'll settle for saying it, as I'm far too tired to show you again right now..."

You chuckle as you crane your neck down, kissing his crown before letting your head thunk against the floor," You already show me more than enough, baby... More than you know."

The silence is calming, even comfortable as the two of you find yourselves drifting off to sleep. Thankfully, the autumn heat and the union of your bodies was more than enough to keep you warm. Both of you allowed yourselves just one, brief nap while the crickets and cicadas harmonized outside the window... A perfect, peaceful conclusion to a passionate, relentless hunt.

#alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #human!alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x you #alastor x oc #alastor x y/n #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel imagine #human!alastor x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #female reader #alastor x female reader #GOD THIS TOOK TOO LONG HAHAHAHA #ieatcocoa I hope this is what you wanted and like #I get so nervous sometimes dhoudhodhdoidjd #but I wanted to keep this a surprise for you #hdohsosihsisoisjsvdiodius #IF ITS NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY IT IS NOW

632 notes · View notes

trippinsorrows · 6 months ago

Text

give me a reason + two

authors note: wow! so humbled by people's interest in this one! forgot to mention that i'll be playing around with joe's career, in terms of the timeline and whatnot.

also, if ya'll ever watched the bernie mac show, i was very much inspired in one section by that scene where vanessa and them was doing that car wash at bernie's house lmaooo

in addition (last point, i swear lmao), i can do faceclaims for the character, mainly mariella's family. if ya'll want. i know some people prefer to visualize for themselves. just lmk.

i don't own any lyrics used.

previous chapter

words: 7k

song inspo: just give me a reason by p!nk and nate ruess

warnings: language, fluff, some angst, blink and you'll miss it sexy time.

Spring, 2005

Spring break.

The time looked forward to by most students, especially college students, who are granted a free week to get into all kinds of trouble, mischief and then return to campus like nothing ever happened.

Joe and Byron can’t deny that they’ve definitely had their fair share of that the first part of college, but now with two years under their belts and only two years left to go, they’re focused on having killer seasons and landing their dreams of going into the NFL.

It’s why when coach decides to give the players a break, canceling all practices during said break, there’s not even an initial question about what they should do with their time.

Home.

They’re going home.

Because while being away is nice at times, there’s absolutely no place like home and being surrounded by the people you love the most.

Byron glances at Joe who’s looking down at his phone. “You gonna see Brianna while we in town?”

Joe looks up. He can’t say he hasn’t thought about it. Brianna, Joe’s last high school girlfriend, was inarguably the easiest of all the girls he’s ever dated. And if not for him not wanting to be tied down while away at college, he would have tried to make it work.

“I don’t know,” he answers, truthfully. “We’ll see.”

“Well, I’m definitely hitting up Tamia. Heard she and ole’ dude broke up.”

Joe shakes his head. Tamia has been Byron’s on and off girlfriend since freaking middle school. They date, break up, date other people, break up with said other people and start right back over. Truthfully, Joe can see Tamia being the one for Byron considering how long they’ve been in this little cycle.

“Just make sure you’re safe, man.”

Byron looks like he’s just been told to make sure he wears a seatbelt. “Always, bro. You know me.”

Joe knows him alright. Knows he can be reckless at times. And with so much at stake in the next upcoming two years, they can’t afford to be reckless.

“I do. That’s why I’m saying it.”

“Man….” Joe laughs at Byron’s dismissal. “What do we have here?” Joe turns his attention to where Byron has set his gaze only to quickly scowl with disgust. “Ugh, they in high school.”

Joe is also instantly repulsed. “That’s fucking gross.”

Byron shakes in his seat, as if trying to shake the disgust off himself when he sees something. “Wait a minute…” Joe again tries to see what’s triggered the exclamation of irritation. “Oh hell no.”

“What are you—what the hell!” Joe shouts out as Byron suddenly swerves into the next turn lane, barely missing hitting a car. “The fuck are you doing, man!”

“That’s Ella out there!” He answers, speeding near the station where a bunch of high school girls are operating a car wash, trying to raise money for who knows what.

At the mention of Ri, Joe’s attention is snatched. “What?” He’s looking around as Byron looks to quickly park the truck, clearly eager to get out. Joe doesn’t see her just yet. It’s not until they’re parked and out of the car that his eyes land on her.

Her smile is the first thing he notices. She’s laughing. Not surprising. For as long as he’s known her, which has been his whole life essentially, she’s always the one in the group to make everyone laugh.

Usually from her klutziness.

It’s never a dull moment with Mariella Holmes.

Moving closer, he can see that it’s definitely Ri, and she’s giggling along with the other girls, dancing to what he recognizes is Black Eyed Peas latest song, “My Humps.”

It’s that realization that helps Joe understand why Byron is so annoyed.

The dancing could be seen as a bit provocative.

“Ella!”

Her head snaps up at Byron’s voice, easily landing on him. Joe watches her mouth drop open in shock before she shouts, “BJ!”

Dropping the soapy rag in the bucket, she’s nearly sprinting over to the two of them, tackling Byron with a hug first. “What are you doing here?”

It’s when she steps back that she moves over to him. She smirks, crossing her arms. “Should have known you wouldn’t turn down a chance to come see me.”

Joe laughs, pulling her in for a hug. “Never.”

“What am I doing here?” Byron cuts in, angrily gesturing to her. “What are you doing out here dressed like this?”

She looks down at her outfit, frowning. Joe does the same. It’s a bathing suit top with jean shorts and flip flops. What’s so bad about that?

And she expresses as such.

“Ummm, the dance team is having a car wash. We’re trying to raise money for travel costs this season.”

This doesn’t seem acceptable to Byron as he asks, “well, you ain’t having nothing else to wear? All exposed and everything.”

That’s when she rolls her eyes. “Oh my god, you’re so annoying.”

He starts to pull his shirt off when even Joe chimes in, “dude, come on.”

“She’s half naked!”

“I’m wearing a bathing suit, BJ.” Mariella says it like he’s slow. Like he was on the short bus. “I know you’ve been away at school, so you haven’t been around as much, but I have boobs now—”

At that, both Joe and Byron turn up their nose. The last thing they need is that type of visual.

She continues, gesturing to her body. “I hit puberty, and allll the areas started filling out. It happens!”

“I’m gonna be sick.” Byron covers his mouth. “I don’t give a damn. You’re sixteen, not twenty-one.”

She gives a sly smile. “That’s not what my fake ID says.”

Joe catches her gaze, seeing that she’s just messing with him. It makes him laugh.

“Your what? Girl, you done lost your damn mind.”

She laughs, shaking her head. “Relax, BJ. You know I can’t get a fake ID. My dumbass would feel too bad and turn myself in.”

“That’s true,” Joe chimes, and she glares, reaching over to hit him. She starts to say something, only for her eyes to go wide. “What’s wrong?”

She says nothing, just awkwardly shifting her weight from one leg to another. He starts to ask again when a new voice joins the conversation.

“Hey, babe.”

Byron jumps to a new level of annoyance. “Babe?” He and Joe watch as some scrawny looking little boy, who’s really not that scrawny in actuality but looks it compared to Byron and Joe, walks up to Mariella, kissing her.

Byron looks like he’s about to have a stroke. He asks with all the smoke. “Who the hell are you?”

Scrawny scoffs and has the audacity to throw the question back at him. “Who the hell are you?”

“Oh my god.” Mariella murmurs, slapping her hand against her forehead. “BJ, this is my boyfriend, Derrick—”

Mariella having a boyfriend makes sense to Joe. She’s 16 now. Why wouldn’t she be dating? It’s normal and expected.

If only Byron saw it that way. “Boyfriend? Since when do you have a boy—”

“Derrick, this is my brother, BJ or Byron, and basically like my non-blood brother, Joe.”

Scrawny AKA Derrick looks like he’s seen a ghost. “Oh shit, my bad—”

If only he knew that Byron doesn’t forgive nor does he forget when it comes to his little sisters, especially Mariella.

He steps toward the shorter young man. “Naw. You bad. You wanted to know who the hell I was, so let me tell you, I’m the nigga that’s gon fuck you up if you ever—”

“Byron!” Mariella is now fuming, grabbing him by his arm as she tugs him in a different direction. “Give us a couple minutes.” She flashes a sweet smile at Derrick and a pleading expression to Joe for him to also be nice.

Joe waits until they’re out of hearing distance. He then slaps Derrick on the arm. “Don’t take it personally. That’s just Byron. He’s always been a hothead.”

Derrick gives a nervous laugh, showing off braces that Joe didn’t notice before. He refrains from frowning. Ri could definitely do better than this dweeb. “You like Ri?”

Derrick shrugs, offering an unimpressive. “She’s alright.”

And that’s all Joe needs to hear to know what this kid is really about. Stepping toward him, he keeps his voice leveled and expression ice cold. “Do anything to hurt her, and you won’t have to worry about Byron.” He gives a steel smile. “I’m the one you’ll never see coming.”

———-

Present

Post-traumatic amnesia (PTA)

Or some milder form of it.

Amnesia, at the very least.

That’s what Dr. Reynolds says is the cause of Mari’s complete loss of memory. A result of the head trauma she received from the accident. A prognosis that somehow feels almost worse than the coma, at least to Joe.

Because for the life of him, he doesn’t know how to look at the woman he’s known his entire life, and have her look back at him like he’s a stranger, like she has no idea who he is.

Because she doesn’t have any idea who he is.

As devastating as that blow is, he knows it hits harder for her parents. April nearly collapsed in Byron Sr’s arms as Dr. Reynolds informed them of Mari’s memory loss.

She was in tears, desperately asking, “but—but she’ll get them back, right, doctor?”

And Joe only has to glance at the doctor, the way his lips press together before he informs sympathetically, “we don’t know. Some patients do eventually retrieve their memories. Others….others never do.”

Joe can’t even allow himself to think of the latter option.

A couple days post coma, he knocks on her door, seeing she’s alone, her parents most likely grabbing food or something.

She glances at the door offering a small smile that doesn’t meet her eyes. It’s insincere, and he doesn’t know how to feel about that either, because one of the things he’s always loved about her has always been her smile. So big and infectious. Just like her personality.

“Hey.” There’s nothing big and infectious about her almost unsure tone.

“Hey.” He doesn’t wait for her to welcome him in, just walks in, taking the seat on the side of her bed. “How you feeling?”

She gives a one sided shrug. He notices the cuts and bruising on her face have gone down tremendously. That's a plus in a situation full of minuses. “Don’t know.” After obviously thinking about the question more, she offers a more descriptive answer. “Very...confused.”

“About?” He then adds. “Maybe I can clear it up for you.”

“I don’t know. It’s….it’s mostly about who I am.” He could definitely answer that one for her. She shakes her head, providing an example. “Like, I’m apparently this big singer, but I can’t even think about singing right now. It doesn’t—it doesn’t even feel like me.” She chuckles bitterly. “Not that I know who me is.”

“You love music. Always have. And you’re good at it. Singing. Writing. Producing. Dancing. All of it.” She looks over at him as he says with all the honesty and sincerity, “there’s nothing, creatively, you can’t do.”

Mariella nods, as if taking in the information to analyze later on. “What about you?” She asks. “What do you do?”

A lot of things. A lot of things he now regrets deeply. But, that’s not her question. “Professional wrestler.” He starts to say WWE to see if she knows what that is, but that isn’t important. Shit about him isn’t the priority.

Mariella looks him over, nodding. “It fits.”

He smiles a bit. The first he’s done in weeks. “What else do you want to know?”

She’s quiet for a few moments before asking the question he didn’t know he was dreading until now. “How did I end up here?”

What a loaded question he was absolutely not prepared for.

There’s a lot of things that led them to where they are right now. A lot of which he blames himself for, and her as well, but not nearly as much as he blames himself. They both played a role in how badly their relationship deteriorated, but Joe puts the bulk of it on himself.

He’s older and should know better.

But, the specific incident that resulted in her accident, the blowout that ended with her requesting the one thing she always swore she never wanted to have happened when they got married…that’s it.

That is the truth she is probably looking for. It’s a truth, however, he can’t find it in him to tell her.

Because selfishly, he doesn’t want that to be the thing to trigger her memories, or any memories of all the things that have gone so terribly wrong the past two years. He doesn’t want that for her.

Doesn’t want it for them.

It’s why he settles on an answer that’s neither a lie but also not the full truth.

“You had a lot on your mind and went for a drive.” His voice shifts into something quiet. He’s still trying to process his feelings about that part of this whole thing. “You were hit head on by a drunk driver.”

Silence.

For a brief second, he’s unsure if he should have just told the truth. Been honest with her and let the cards fall as they may.

And then she speaks.

“Well, that’s unfortunate.” He looks up. Joe sees it. That sense of humor that some could only take in doses, but for him, it’s always been a highlight. She’s always been able to put a smile on his face even in the darkest of his days. “How long have we been married?”

Another unexpected question, but he answers truthfully. “This March makes 11 years.”

“Wow.” This seems to take her by surprise. “And how long have we been together?”

“That….that’s a bit of a long story.”

She lifts her brow, gesturing to her hospital bed. “Not like I have anywhere to be.”

He chuckles. She has a point, but the story of them…that seems too complicated or detailed to share in a freaking hospital. Because in his mind, he’s started to sort the different ways and things he can do to help remind her of who she is.

Of who they were.

Finally, he answers, “I just—I think you should—”

There’s a knock on the door, Joe turning to see April and Byron Sr.

April is the first to speak, walking over to them. “I’m sorry to interrupt.” She’s almost hesitant to move too close. Joe can see she wants nothing more to engulf her youngest in a hug but recognizes the same almost uncomfortable expression Mariella wore the minute he walked in.

“It’s okay.” He assures, going to stand up. “I’ll leave you guys—”

“Actually,” Byron Sr. interjects, shooting Joe a sympathetic expression. “We were hoping to speak with you.” He looks toward Mariella, and Joe hates it. Hates the almost discomfort that exists between them. She’s always been super close with her parents. Especially her dad. “If that’s alright, sweetheart?”

Mariella shrugs, clearly unbothered. “Sure.” She starts to lay back in her bed a little. “I’m kinda tired anyway.”

Joe wonders how much of that is truth, and how much of it is her just wanting to be alone from people who are virtual strangers.

Strangers…

That’s definitely a word he never thought could be used in any context regarding Mariella.

Once outside the room and in the private waiting area, her parents wait until a set of nurses pass before April is the first to speak. She reaches over and places a comforting hand. “How are you doing, Joe? Really?”

A mess. He’s a fucking mess. Joe has seen much, much better days than the past few weeks. But, he also doesn’t want to make this about him, about his mental state, so he provides a half truth.

“Been better.” His response is gruff as he quickly moves to change topics. “What about you guys?”

Having his wife have no idea who he is is brutal, but he can’t even begin to imagine what it’s been like for two parents to not have their youngest child recognize them, to have no idea who they are.

Byron Sr. is the first to answer, mirroring his son-in-law’s words. “Been better.”

April shifts in her seat, bringing her hand back to her lap. “We umm—we spoke to Dr. Reynolds earlier today.”

Joe looks up, partially wondering why he wasn’t present for that meeting. “Okay.”

“She doesn’t remember anything, Joe. Not her childhood. Not her family. Not…not even us.” April voice breaks at the end of her statement as Joe looks away. Hearing this again isn’t exactly helpful, though he would never disrespect her parents by asking them to shut up. Even if it’s what he wants. “And we—well, we just think—”

Byron Sr. cuts in, hand on his wife’s knee. “We want to take her back home with us, Joe.” Joe’s stomach drops. “We want to take her back to Florida.”

———-

Spring, 2022

Cameras.

That’s the one thing Mariella, Mari, still struggles to get used to. The bright lights flashing in her face as her photo is taken, whether on the red carpet, on the stage, or even when she’s just making a run to the grocery store. The latter one hasn’t happened as much as it used to, for which she’s grateful, but still.

So there’s a bit of an adjustment as she looks around the room, the hair and makeup team touching up her face once more before they kick off the segment.

She doesn’t regret it. Doesn’t regret it at all. It’s a good look for him. For her too. And beyond any type of benefit for their careers, she’s just happy she gets to see him.

Because that’s the part she doesn’t think she’ll ever truly get over or be okay with.

The distance.

As directed, she walks down the hall, making sure not to look directly into the camera. This is made infinitely easier by pretending she’s shooting a music video. Which, truth be told, it isn’t very different.

Mari wears the confused expression perfectly, looking down at her phone as if it has information that could help her when she ‘accidentally’ walks into him.

Head up, she gasps and immediately gets to apologizing, just as was in the script. “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I wasn’t even looking where I was going.”

His eyes widen as he ‘realizes’ who she is. “Wow. No, you are absolutely fine. Wow. You’re Mari!”

Smiling, she points at him, “and you are…..”

He seems a bit taken back at first, like he’s waiting for her to also recognize him. When that doesn’t happen, he offers his hand. “Sami Zayn. Master strategist and locker room leader.”

She nods, perfectly conveying another confused look at just what that means. “Does—does that mean you’re good with directions? Cause I suck at them.”

“It absolutely does, and you are in luck, because I just so happen to be free right now and would love to give you a tour.”

She opens her mouth to protest, “oh, that’s so sweet, but I really should—” she looks down at her phone. “You know what, I’m a little early, so why not?”

“Awesome.” He claps his hands together and offers his arm. Mari smiles and links hers in his as he starts leading them down the hall, pointing out the most obvious of things.

The camera cuts, and she engages in conversation with Sami, who’s actually a lot like the ‘character’ he plays. Super charismatic and engaging. Kinda reminds her of herself. So much so that before she realizes, they’re back to recording after having moved across the arena.

“And lastly we have—” His eyes suddenly widen as he realizes where they are, Sami moving his hand to her back as he directs them in the opposite direction. “Wait, we do not want to go—”

“There it is!” Mari, however, is smiling brightly as she walks toward the door.

Sami looks like he’s about to have a panic attack, frantically warning, “Mari, I know you’re like an international mega star, but trust me, you do not want to bother that man—” He’s silenced by her knocking on the door.

His face is turning red as he urgently whispers to her, “we should really get out of here. Like right now!.”

She turns to him, confused. “Why?”

And before Sami can respond, the door is ripped open, the scowling faces of the Usos the first thing Sami lands on. He’s preparing to get chewed out only for them to look at Mari and instantly start smiling.

“Whassup, Mari!” Jimmy is the first to greet her, pulling her in for a hug. Followed by Jey, the two of them engaging in some secret handshake that ends with a ‘Yeet’.

Sami, however, laughs nervously, gesturing between the three. “Wait, you—you guys know Mari?”

Jimmy answers, slinging his arm around her. “Man, of course. This family!”

“You’re related to them?” Sami asks, eyes wide.

Mari opens her mouth to answer when another person emerges from the private locker room, taking up almost the entire door frame, face stoic and eyes cold.

Sami looks like he’s about to piss himself. He swallows. “My Tribal Chief, I’m so sorry—”

He’s interrupted by Mari who smiles and pulls away from Jimmy to walk up to Roman.“Hi, baby.” Sami looks on stunned as she leans up and kisses his cheek, pressing her body into his, hand on his abs. “Sorry, I’m a bit late.” She grins over at Sami. “Sami was giving me a tour of the place.”

The reddening of his cheeks is about what and what with the red of his hair. “I don’t—I’m not—”

Playfully rolling her eyes as Roman continues to look like he’s contemplating murder, she lifts her left hand, showing off a beautiful diamond ring. “Roman’s my husband.”

Mouth open like a child who just found out Santa isn’t real, Sami does his best to reel in his surprise. “Of course, you’re married. I totally knew that!” He laughs nervously, hands on his hips. “That’s why I gladly brought you to the Tribal Chief myself. Wanted to ensure nothing but the best for the Bloodline’s first lady.”

“That was really sweet of you. Thank you.” She continues to smile, and Roman continues to send daggers with just one, stolid expression. Mari peers up, kissing him again as she reaches for his hand. “Come on.” She tugs him toward the inside of the locker room, Roman finally budging as he gives Sami one last look that has the redhead contemplating requesting a switch to Raw.

However, as Jimmy and Jey go to follow along with their cousin, Roman is quick to slam the door in their faces.

“Hey, Uce, uhhh,—” Jimmy tries to jangle the knob only to realize it’s locked. He starts knocking. “Roman! Hey, you gon let us in?”

A couple seconds later the door does open, but it’s Solo, followed by Paul Heyman. Wise Man closes the door behind him. He looks around, briefly bewildered and clears his throat, announcing, “The Tribal Chief has requested to be left alone this evening.”

Sami is the only one to laugh, playfully shoving Solo and pointing to the locker room. “I bet he has.” Solo, however, also looks like he’s also contemplating murder. Sami coughs awkwardly and turns to walk away, just as the camera crew announces ‘cut’.

The remaining men share laughs about the promo, meanwhile inside the locker room Mariella relishes in the feel of being reunited with her husband in real life, and now in the WWE kayfabe verse.

She’s pressed against his body, arms around his neck with his locked around her waist, holding her to him. “Hey, Big Daddy.”

Roman, Joe, rolls his eyes. Mariella giggles. She knows he has such a love/hate relationship with the term of endearment, one of many she has for the massive man before her. “You miss me?”

He makes a sound, leaning down to connect their lips. “Always, baby.”

She smiles into their kiss, “good answer.” His big hands venture down to squeeze her ass, Mariella moaning into his mouth which triggers something for him. He lifts her up, her legs locking around his waist as he goes to sit back down in the big leather chair. Joe’s tongue entering her mouth is enough to elicit another moan but also alert her to the fact of where he wants to take this.

“Baby, we cannot do the nasty at your job.”

“I don’t know why you still call it that.” His fake irritation makes her giggle. It’s an inside joke between them that she’ll never let die so long as she lives. “And who says we can’t?”

“I don’t know. The FCC?” He rolls his eyes as she grasps at his beard that she can tell he dyed recently. Most likely because of his job. She wishes he could leave it be. She likes the gray. It does….things to her. “Besides, you know the deal. If we do it right now, we can’t do it tonight.” He continues to move his hands across her ass. “Mama’s got a show this Sunday, and I’d rather not be rendered immobile because my husband impaled me on his big ole’ dick.”

Again, Joe rolls his eyes, even though there’s more truth to her statement than the typical playful jokes she cracks at any given time. Joe has a high sex drive. She’s known this for some years. Mariella, however, does not. And it’s not even that she doesn’t enjoy sex with her husband. It’s that her husband doesn’t know how to stop, doesn’t know how to come, make her come one time for the one time, and just be done with it.

No. This man wants rounds. And truthfully, she just doesn’t have the stamina to keep up with him. Outside of porn stars, she doesn’t know who would.

Man is an absolute beast.

“So damn dramatic,” he chuckles against her neck. “You know I be doing most of the work anyway.”

She opens her mouth to protest. “Okay, that may or may not be true.” She can feel him smiling against her. It’s not like he minds. Joe is dominant in the sheets, wanting to be in control at all times. Her preference given he’s much more well versed in the sexual arts than she is. “But, in my defense, you’re built like a Greek god.” A Samoan god. “I get winded walking up the staircase in our house.”

“Bullshit.” He pulls back, pointing out. “You be on that stage dancing your ass off for damn near three hours.”

She rolls her eyes, murmuring, “okay, that also may or may not be true.” Mari’s eyes flutter as he moves his hand under her dress. Long, thick fingers easily pushing aside her underwear, feeling the pool of her arousal. She squeezes his shoulders. “Joe….”

He grunts almost, gliding his fingers across her wet folds. She exhales sharply. “You this wet already and really want me to think you don’t want Big Daddy to fuck this tight lil’ pussy?”

Whining against him, Mariella unconsciously tries to move around on his lap to get his fingers back on her. In her, preferably. And it’s when he enters one of those deliciously talented fingers inside of her gushy opening, she caves. “Fine.” He smirks as she warns, “but you’re pushing me around in the wheelchair after!”

———-

Between a rock and a hard place.

That’s how Joe has felt the past few weeks, maybe even longer. But especially now.

He knows Ri’s parents are right. That they have every right to want her to spend time at home with them, in the place where she grew up, where most of her formative years and subsequent formative memories lie. Logically, it makes sense.

But, he can’t seem to get past his discomfort at the fact that Ri won’t be getting discharged and coming home with him. No, she’ll be discharged and hop on a plane with them back to Florida. Selfishly, he was hoping the doctor wouldn’t clear her to fly, but that plan went out the window. Dr. Reynolds is clearly on the same page with her parents about the potential benefit of being around constant triggers. Triggers that could help generate memories.

And Joe isn’t against that. At all.

It’s just the fact that he won’t be there that rubs him the right way.

“Joe.”

His eyes shut, an instant headache coming on. This is the last thing he needs.

Turning around, he’s met with Olivia “Liv” Holmes default stare of icy indifference. Out of all of Mariella’s siblings, her family in general, Liv has always been his least favorite.

For a lot of different reasons. The main one being how she always treated Mariella when they were younger. Not mean, per se. But not kindly either. She always acted like Mariella was annoying, and she definitely could be at times, but not to the extent that Liv made it seem.

Like Mariella was just this big nuisance. It’s part of the reason she always wanted to hang out with him and Byron when they were growing up, because Liv spent most of her time with her twin sister, Everly, and her own friend group.

“Liv.” He really doesn’t feel like talking to anyone, let alone her. Their interactions have always been brief and limited to what is essential. For good reason too.

“I take it my parents told you we’re taking Ella back home to Florida with us.”

Joe has to bite back a smartass comment. Liv’s smirk and the almost smug tone of her voice isn’t what he needs right now.

“Yes.” He matches her energy a bit, reminding. “For the first couple weeks, at least. Then I’m going to bring her back home with me.”

Where she belongs.

Liv smiles, but there’s nothing friendly about it. “We’ll see.”

Joe gives her a look. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You know she called me.” He freezes. “The night of the accident.” Joe manages to keep a calm face despite his surprise at her words. Mariella has never been close with Liv, most of their communication occurring via texts and family group chats.

There’s only one reason she would call her sister who happens to be a divorce attorney.

“I want a divorce.”

Liv continuing to speak is ironically appreciated, as it pulls him from the memories of what is now an infamous argument. “I was sleeping and missed her call, but she didn’t leave a message. Kinda wishing she did, because I’m still trying to figure out just what the hell she was doing out on the road that late at night.”

He keeps his cool. Somehow. “I already told you—”

“I know what you said, Joe.” Her interruption is sharp. “I also don’t believe you, because what the hell could she have so heavy on her mind after winning 5 Grammys?” She crosses her arms. “It doesn’t make sense.”

When he doesn’t say anything, she continues her accusatory assault. “You seem to forget that we were in high school together, Joe. I know how you were.” At this, he can’t say anything, can’t necessarily defend himself against truth. “You and Byron fucked damn near half the girls in our school, probably at college too, and then all of a sudden you turn in your hoe card to be with my baby sister? Because you love her? I never bought that shit for a minute.”

While he can’t deny his promiscuous past, Joe isn’t about to stand here and let this woman act like he’s this horrible person who took advantage of Mariella. “What’s your point, Liv? Huh? I’m not fucking stupid. I know you never approved of me being with Ri, but just like I didn’t give a fuck then, I still don’t give a fuck now.”

Liv does relatively well hiding her disapproval among her family, to some extent. But Joe has always been hip to her truth. She thinks Mariella should have gotten with someone else, anyone else probably. Anyone who wasn’t him.

Liv, who has never done well with being challenged, steps forward, glare intense and purposeful. “I’m gonna find out what happened that night, Joe. Because I know there’s something you’re not telling us.” He keeps up his unreadable expression, though there’s a small chunk of guilt swimming around the back of his head. Not even about not being completely honest with Mariella’s family.

More about not being honest with her.

She lowers her voice. “And when I do find out—”

“Liv.”

Joe and Liv turn to see Byron Jr. standing before them with a disappointed expression.

Arms crossed, he steps toward them, focused more on Liv than Joe. “Don’t be starting no shit today, alright? This the last thing we need.”

In recent years, especially since becoming a father, BJ has matured from his hotheaded days, often even a voice of reason. One of the reasons he’s been voted Locker Room captain for his team, the 49ers, 3 years in a row.

Liv rolls her eyes. “You’ve always been blinded by your friendship with him—”

“Hey.” Byron raises his voice a bit. “I mean it. You blaming people doesn’t change what happened, and you know damn well Ella would have a fit at you coming at Joe like this.”

Not really. Maybe before. Before everything collapsed so tragically between the two of them.

“Whatever.” She gives a final almost warning glare to the two of them before stalking off, probably to go see Mariella.

BJ places a comforting hand on Joe’s shoulder once she’s gone. “You good, man?”

Not at all. “Yeah.” He clears his throat.

BJ gives a sad smile. “Don’t let Olevil get to you.” Her nickname from back when they were in high school makes Joe chuckle. “You going back to work next week?”

Joe blows out a breath. That hasn’t even crossed his mind the past couple weeks. He doesn’t even really know what storyline they came up with to cover his absence. Nor does he care really. “I haven’t even thought about that, man.”

“I think you should.” And before Joe can protest, Byron lifts his hand. “Hear me out. She’s gonna be with our parents for a few weeks, so you know she’ll be in good hands. What you gon’ do while she’s gone? Sit around the house sad and moping and shit? You know she would be chewing you out for that, telling you that you gotta get back in the game.”

Joe gives a bit of a smile. Byron is right. Knowing Mariella, she’d have a whole theatrical ass presentation as to why he should return to work, song and dance included.

“Yeah…”

Byron slaps him on his shoulder. “Just think about it, alright?”

Joe nods, because he will. And not for himself, not even for his job, because he doesn’t give a fuck about that right now.

But for Mariella.

His Ri.

Because she’ll always be his Ri.

And he’s determined to make sure she doesn’t forget it this time.

———-

Spring, 2022 [cont.]

“Baby!” It’s a distant voice that becomes closer as it's repeatedly conjoined with a small hand shaking at his shoulder. “Baby, wake up.”

And he does. Eyes fluttering open, his vision is blurred initially, gradually clearing up to reveal the face of his beautiful wife. Cognizant of his surroundings, Joe realizes she’s sitting on top of him, notebook and pen in hand.

He smiles. It’s been a while since she’s woken him up for this. And while he’ll regret it in the morning, he’s grateful for it now. Grateful for these little callbacks to when they were broke, living in a crappy apartment, trying to chase the dream as inspiration struck her at all hours of the night. And she would wake him up, wanting his feedback.

He didn’t really mind then.

And he doesn’t really mind now.

That’s just his Ri.

Eyes squinting, she asks, “you up?”

He chuckles, also enjoying the sight of her straddling him wearing only his shirt. “Yes, baby. I’m up.”

“About time,” she complains, and he rolls his eyes. So damn dramatic. “I’m feeling inspired.” She says it while giving almost jazz hands, pretty brown eyes landing back on him. “Wanna hear the lyrics?”

He yawns, glancing at the digital clock that reads 2:37AM. “What else would I be doing at this time?”

She glares. “Is that sarcasm I detect, mister? Is it my fault my musical muse comes alive at night? That she flourishes when most—”

“Ri.”

“Huh?”

He closes his eyes. Joe loves Mariella with everything in him, but he’s not in the mood for one of her theatrical tangents at damn near 3 o’clock in the morning. “Lyrics.”

“Oh! Right!” Chuckling, he watches as she reads over whatever she’s written to herself at first. A bit of a habit. She’s always initially self-conscious about her lyrics. “Now, it’s just off the top of my head, so be nice, okay?”

“I’m always nice to you, Ri.” It’s the truth. As annoyed as he can get sometimes, she’s never been on that list. “And I’m sure it’s fine.”

She smiles appreciatively, slightly taking him by surprise as she quietly sings the lyrics versus just reading them to him.

Yellow diamonds in the light

Now we're standing side by side

As your shadow crosses mine

What it takes to come alive

It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny

But I've gotta let it go

We found love in a hopeless place

Finished, she looks down at him, expectantly, “well?”

“I love it.” He loves most of what she writes though. He especially loves to hear her sing. “What inspired it?”

“I don’t know. I was just thinking about us. About how far we come.” She shrugs, his hands rubbing circles on her hips. “Your show was sold out tonight, Joe. Mine is sold out too. Like, we both sold out Madison Square Garden. That feels almost too perfect to be true.”

He makes a sound. “But, it is, baby.”

“I know.” She sighs heavily and asks in a partial hypothetical tone. “We’re like really hot shit, huh?” Joe chuckles as she gasps and places her tablet down on his chest, quickly writing something down. He says nothing, having been with her for so long that none of her quirky ways really surprise him anymore.

“Also.”

“Also?”

She glares but moves to place the notebook and pen on the nightstand, resting her hands on his chest. “I was thinking about our conversation earlier…” He’s quiet, waiting patiently for her to finish her sentence even if it does have him a bit on edge. He’s never been good with waiting. “Let’s do it.”

Her answer takes him by surprise. “You sure?”

She nods, tugging at his beard. “We’re not getting any younger.” She giggles, eyes playfully narrowing. “Especially you, old man.”

At that, he sucks his teeth. “Who you calling old?” He squeezes her side, and she squeals. He knows that’s where she’s ticklish. She falls out, laughing, and he takes the advantage of her being distracted to flip them so she’s flat on her back. “Naw, say it again. I ain’t hear you.”

“Joe, stop,” she giggles as he hovers over her, tickling her until she pushes back against his shoulder. He grabs her hand, restricting her when she opens her eyes. Her laughter quietly dies down when their eyes lock.

Love.

So much love.

Joe leans down and connects their lips, softly, slowly, just as meaningful as any other kiss they’ve shared. She moans into his mouth, feeling his hardened length graze against her opening, her essence already making its way down her inner thighs.

He feels this too, groaning and lifting her thigh to widen her as he carefully enters her, watching her arch her back at the entrance. She whimpers, hands moving around his shoulders.

He kisses her wrist, watching the pleasure on her face as he gives her deep strokes, slow and plunging, just how he knows she likes it. “Shhhh….let me take care of you, baby.”

And he does.

He always has.

He always will.

#roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns fic #roman reigns x black!reader #roman reigns #arisnotebook

191 notes · View notes

streets-in-paradise · 3 months ago

Text

Tormented Longing - Maximus Decimus Meridius x Empress!Reader

Gladiator (2000) Oneshot

Warnings: Reader is in love in a devoted, frankly delulu way ( not exactly like Commodus, but you will see.). This may not make sense with the movie, in the sense that it doesn't follow the events strictly, but I love drama lol. It's one of those " doesn't make much sense, but wanted to see it written. " scenarios @wildsaltair and I were talking about.

Summary: Fate grants you a reunion with the great love you believed lost when you consult the school of gladiators searching to buy protection from the schemes of the loathed husband it enforced on you.

Note: Somewhere I can't remember, because my browser is a mess of history entries, I read of someone who wanted to have gladiators as personal guard and that triggered in my mind this concept.

As it would be expected, your visit to the school of gladiators could potentially cause a scandall. Following the disorganised style of the ruling of your husband, you guessed one more excentricity could not make more harm. After all, he was shaking the values of Rome from their very own foundations. No one escaped him, and the need for appearances between you was running out.

As the wife that Marcus Aurelius had once chosen for him, Commodus accepted your marriage of convenience with the hope of pleasing him. Your wedding was the only moment in which he recalled any kindness from his father, his approbation of you feeling his by extention. ironically, the moment that ruined your life was the logical consecuence of the failure of one of his masterplans. Scheming against the lover of his sister, your friend, he digged his own grave when the crave to get him out of her way brought you closer to his.

He knew of your tormented love for Maximus and tried to encourage you of betraying Lucilla to keep him for yourself. That brief instant of temptation was paid with the highest price, some curse from the gods unleashed a chain of events punishing you equally with your enforced union. Not long into the marriage you found out that your sacrifice had been in vain, given neither you or the emperor's daughter got to keep the man you wanted. You also discovered with horror what kind of feelings pushed Commodus to that unfortunate alliance with you.

Depraved desires, not the logical concern of a brother.

In his sick mind, he believed to experience the same kind of longing you did, and the only reward of your marriage for him was dragging you down to share his misery. If he would never have Lucilla, you would never have Maximus. Promise that he accomplished to the cruelest extent as soon as he got rid of his father. Your noble general, faithfull as he was to the murdered emperor, refused an alliance with his killer and paid with his life.

Knowing that you would mourn him like a widow, Commodus taunted you with the news as soon as he got the chance. With the grudges of the past long forgotten, Lucilla was your only comfort. Touched by grief as you both were, she still managed to remind you of your priorities. With his brother in power having no more need to cather the opinions of their father, your life on itself could be in danger.

Of course, you still were a working facade for the most morally deplorable aspect on the disgusting side of him, but power could make him question your uses. You believed Commodus wouldn't be foolish enough to make of executing his wife one of his first commands of his rule in Rome, but that didn't mean you couldn't expect some unfortunate accident to happen.

What you needed was protection, and his praetorians weren't going to grant it. There was nothing the Senate could do for you, so you had to act on yourself. With the announcement of the games in honor of the deceased emperor, a demeaning joke made in private towards your husband that slipped from you as product of your ragefull grief for Maximus making you momentarily careless of death brought you the solution.

You told Commodus that watching the matches would show him a bit of what a real man was, as if you played to replace him with one of the gladiators, and that gave you the idea of buying your own commitive of protectors. Unusual, maybe, but desperate times needed of desperate meassures.

If you wouldn't be the Empress of Rome, Proximo would have laughed in your face when you explained yourself to him.

" Lady, this men aren't guards. They are entertainers. Doing business with your husband will make me rich, ... why would I risk that? "

" I'm only asking for a handfull of them and I'm not even demanding your best." You argued in return. " I need a protective escort that would answer to me, for safety measures. "

He was terminant to deny your excentricity.

" That is not of my concern. "

" Can I at least take a look at them? It's all I ask, for now. "

With reluctance, your wish was granted. Guided towards the cages you advanced in pridefull strunt and the slaves raised following your eyes. Only one remained in his place, careless or perhaps resentfull of your attention. For him you stopped, intrigued by his attitude and perhaps something more.

" That one is off limits, empress. " His owner warned you, noticing the sparkling interest he had awakened in you. " The Spaniard is the most expected novelty I have to offer. "

His words fell on deaf ears, marvelled as you were with the resemblance with your first and only lost love. An authentic ghost of the past haunting you. Could the gods have made two men so identical, or were they fooling you? Was that man like the phantom Helen made of cloud that some said had followed Paris to Troy while the real remained in hidding? Or had the men of Commodus killed a phantom?

" Forget our deal, I will give you whatever you ask for a moment to speak with him. "

The gladiator kept his cold demeanour, refusing to engage in eye contact with you, untill your almost broken whispers towards him forced the situation.

" ... A man I once knew was from Spain. He never knew, but he was the love of my life. "

Only then, he stopped staring angrily at the ground so he could show his face to you.

" Go back to your husband, Empress. "

The utterance of your rank felt as a spit of disdain landing in your face, but the surprise overcame everything. You were smiling with tearfull eyes, ready to jump over him as a wife that welcomes her brave husband home from war.

Maximus lived and fate had brought him back to you.

His attitude was understandable, even if it was a bit unfair to you. Not only you have played no part in the complot against him, you remained pointlessly faithfull to his memory like a pathetic lapdog. Lucilla had once married a good man that left her with a son after passing, but you were entrusted to a monster you could never love. You were still his in spirit, even if you accepted long ago he could never be for you.

" He doesn't command in my heart, he never will. "

In respect of your rank, the meeting was allowed in the most comfortable settling the place could grant you. By your specifical request, and ignoring the safety hazard that a very angry Maximus implied, you tried to keep him free from chains.

" Claiming my life is not a suitable vengeance, you would be doing his work for him." You warned him as soon as you were allowed enough privacy. " He doesn't have the slightest care for me, I am only the facade of his sinister desires, but if it would please your rage I would gladly give my life for you. "

You exposed your neck, awaiting for some imaginary sword to slit your throat or his hand to squeeze your air out, but the confusion that your willingness to die upon him produced him was enough to make him desist of anything.

" How can you say such things so lightly, when so much between us has changed? You are not that sweet friend of Lucilla giving me lovely glances full of sorrow before I would follow her. My wife and son were tortured and murdered by command of your husband! "

His recriminations hurted you, but how could he had he reacted otherwise? He had no idea of what happened with you after life separated you.

" Can't you see it? Time stopped for me the day I married Commodus without facing your rejection for respect to my friend. The one thing we have in common is obsessive devotion, only never for each other ... I never stopped loving you, I would do anything in my power to make your suffering stop. I can't give back what he took from you, just as no one can return me the youthfull years of misery standing him, but before rushing into conclussions there is something you need to know. "

Falling on your knees before him, you exposed yourself completely in a heartfelt speech.

" You are my sun, the happy corner where my thoughts go hidding from the horrors of my life. Commodus lives frustrated on the impossibility to fullfill his horrendous wants, but all this time I had the comfort of knowing my love is pure. If i daydreamed of being your wife, I never wished any wrongs for the woman you have once chosen. "

The raw honesty left him with very little space for doubts. Fragility you have saved for years was tenderly left on sight for him to judge if your feelings for him were real.

Little did it matter to him at the moment, but that didn't mean it didn't give him new thoughts and couldn't yet inspire him any pitty.

" What am I supposed to say? Do you expect me to be myself or perform for your delusion now that I have no other choice? "

Having your ways get mistaken with Commodus' offended you, but you endured it.

" I want you to understand that all I ever wanted was your happiness. Nothing more, and nothing else. I want you to stop seeing me as your enemy, but can't find a proof of my sincere devotion to satisfy you. If of something I can be blamed, is of loving you more desperately than Lucilla ever did. She survived without you, but I made you a part of me. "

The part of him that felt your sorrow finally won. Lifting your chin delicately with a caress of his thumb, he granted you a first calm approach making you stare into his eyes.

" Keep this meeting as a secret and your loyalty will be proven. I need nothing else of you. "

It made you smile, hopefull to the small victory.

" That was already granted, my love. Nothing greater would you ask from me? If your presence in the arena wouldn't be so required due to the excellent fame you adquired, I would be already trying to buy you in order to find some way to release you. "

The extreme measure to save his honor was a considerable risk that would end bad for you, so a question wandering his mind came out of him without second thoughts.

" Is there anything you wouldn't do for me? "

The mockfull callout made you raise up, regaining only glimpses of your dignity.

" Do you want to escape? I would gladly run away with you. Do you want the head of Commodus, detached from his body? I have no idea of how that could happen, but I will find the way of getting it for you. I don't even need you to love me back, only to let me fill you with the affection I have kept for so long reserved for you."

He remained strictly indiferent to your provocations, but you left him few space for choice. Your hands were cuping his cheeks when you dragged him close enough to barely sense your lips against his. He kept his mouth closed, forbbiding you entrance for a full mouth kiss, but after three carefull pecks he realized you were about to cover his face with those short kisses and stopped you inmediately.

" What do you want us to be? The legendary tale of the gladiator that turned an empress into a slave? "

You wouldn't admit it, but you liked the implied epicity in his reprobatory replication.

" I endure Commodus the same way his father did: ignoring him and pretending you are mine. He wanted you for a son and I want you for a husband. Indulge me as you did for your emperor. "

#gladiator 2000 #maximus x reader #russell crowe x reader

88 notes · View notes

librarycards · 7 months ago

Note

do you have any resources or advice on how to help people who have manic episodes or who could possibly harm others according to antipsych principles? my friend diagnosed with bipolar disorder has been looking into checking themself into a hospital, and their home situation isn’t the best though their dad somewhat tries to be supportive, but i wonder what other options there are. the most i can do is offer some emotional support and give advice since i live too far away to be of much help otherwise. sorry if this is the wrong place to ask.

hello, and thanks for your patience on my response - this week has been busy and i'm only just now getting to asks!

here is an excellent piece by Stefanie Lyn Kaufman-Mthimkhulu on providing support for comrades in crisis, many of these tips are very applicable to distance-relationships too! bipolar comrades/others who have manic episodes are also welcome and very encouraged to reply and share what kinds of supports work best for them.

There are also a series of free zines/books by the Fireweed Collective (FKA the Icarus Project), particularly Navigating The Space Between Brilliance And Madness: A Reader & Roadmap Of Bipolar Worlds. This is a great way to learn more about a variety of bipolar experiences to better contextualize your friend's.

here are some tips based on personal experience being close to multiple people with bipolar, while not being bipolar myself:

create balance within yourself + project it - it's tempting to get yourself wrapped up in others' big feelings, especially if they trigger you. but it's crucially important to maintain a (porous!) barrier between you and your friend, both as a way of maintaining your own peace and providing something sturdy for them to lean on. this means taking what they say/do in the midst of crisis and placing it "beside" your own feelings, rather than integrating it and responding viscerally in the moment.

neither "reality checking" nor "reality confirming". this is tricky. it's pointless to tell someone "you're wrong, you can't do that, etc." when they're experiencing a different reality than you. it is also harmful to encourage someone to act on beliefs that are not actually aligned with their values, but instead the result of a state of crisis. i try to use phrases like "that sounds ___," "that must be ____," "i can see how you'd feel ____" and similar, both to affirm their own lived experience and to avoid reifying it as objective truth.

know when to step away. mania is draining for literally everyone involved, and what people do to their loved ones in the midst of a manic episode can be incredibly harmful, even if occurring alongside grand gestures of generosity, productivity, etc. you are not your friend's keeper, and your feelings and well-being matter just as much as theirs. do you both have mutual friends you can tap into to provide support when you're burnt out? these friends might also be able to offer some strategies that you or i haven't thought of. it's important to say that this support shouldn't be constant "did you use substances today" "did you drive recklessly today" other surveillance type stuff. try to maintain a normal rhythm to your conversations, and when something that makes you go ??? comes up, try framing your response as a question. "i'm going to finish writing and editing my novel today and start two new books and apply for this and that grant" - you could say, "that's a ton of stuff. why do you need to do it all today?" this creates space for other possibilities without forcing it.

your friend doesn't need advice right now, they need support! the person who needs advice, i think, is your friend's dad. are you and him directly in touch, and is there any way that you could get in touch with him? since you're online, i don't know the details here; it may work best when your friend is no longer manic and you two can speak frankly about how best to support them. i do suggest making a crisis plan with him/whoever they're close to irl.

I hope this is somewhat helpful!

#the shadow answer here is that my d*d has bipolar and i'm giving you some of my (modified) survival tips from 17 years of living with him #ask #anonymous #world healing #madness #harm reduction #antipsychiatry

99 notes · View notes

bluedandylyon · 2 months ago

Text

I think I took for granted how good She-Ra is. Like it is a MIRACLE that a show like this exists, you know?

Idk, watching the Arcane finale and seeing it fumble the things it set up for itself in season 1, ditching complex and complete set-ups and pay-offs for cheap parallels that don’t always make sense; it made me realize how fucking lucky we got with spop.

There are a lot of incredible things about the show, about how pretty much every character in the show is queer, how trauma is represented, complex themes interweaved beautifully in a TV-7 rating show.

BUT

I feel like we as a ~ society don’t talk enough about the set-ups and pay-offs in the show. The fact that nothing in the show comes out of left field and how every piece of dialogue serves a function and sets the characters up. The characters in spop will never act out of character for a line, or to further the plot. Their consistency is incredible.

Let’s take Jinx and Catra for example. Jinx has complex mental health issues that were at the center of everything in szn 1, so she had a lot of symptoms and she was able to be messy and frustrating and realistic in her disorder. Then szn 2 came around and somehow her symptoms are mostly cured - which ok, we can chalk that up to Isha’s presence in her life, which yeah, her hallucinatory symptoms partly come back when Isha goes missing. Although, this would mean that they’re setting up that if Isha is not in Jinx’s life, then her symptoms would come back full force no?

Isha dies and there is absolutely nothing that pays off in terms of this little set up they did. Jinx becomes suicidal, but her other, more complex, more “able to ruin plot plans” symptoms disappear in its entirety. This is a character whose complexity is determined by what the plot needs to do.

Catra also has complex mental issues, and those NEVER go away for the sake of plot expediency, in fact, the plot baked Adora and Catra’s conflict in the center of it all from the very beginning. This means that Catra gets to act realistically all throughout the show and that furthers the plot. Catra doesn’t get rescued and all of a sudden her trauma goes away for the sake of redeeming her faster. Catra has not been healed at the end of the show, she is beginning to heal. She is allowed to explore the depths of her trauma and symptoms and instead of speeding through it, the show says - here, go down to rock bottom, get rescued and be unable to say thank you, get re-triggered by your abuser and run away at the very end of the show. And also, here are some characters that will call you out on your behavior, here is an emotional support animal, here, the person you love and have pushed away from, never hated you!! Her healing always feels like it’s a deliberate choice from Catra bc of what tools the show is giving her, not bc the plot needs to move forward now.

And in terms of set-ups and pay-offs. I mean…. It’s actually nuts. Characters’ dialogues literally bake themselves into other characters. Shadow Weaver tells Adora “Catra distracts you, confuses you” and Adora later tells Bow and Glimmer (after calling SW out btw) “I am distracted and confused and I cant be any of those things if this is going to work” which creates the final moments of the show.

Angella tells Adora “take care of each other” and Adora internalizes it as “I have to take care of Glimmer” bc of her trauma, and that leads her to be very controlling with Glimmer, which creates conflict in their relationship, which creates the heart of Etheria situation, which creates the Horde Prime situation.

SW tells Catra that she abused her bc Catra reminded her of herself. In that same episode, where SW’s past is explored, they both say “it doesn’t matter what I do, my authority figure doesn’t trust me”, we can see how Catra begins to emulate SW’s authority style throughout the show.

The show starts with SW telling Adora “isn’t this what you’ve wanted since you were old enough to want anything?” and it ends with Catra asking her “what do you want, Adora?” which sets up the conclusion of Adora’s entire arc.

Even little things, like Entrapta telling Wrong Hordak it’s ok to make facial expressions and Wrong Hordak being animated copying character’s facial expressions for practice after that.

ITS JUST SO GOOD THE WRITING IN THIS SHOW IS RIDICULOUS.

#she ra #spop #arcane discourse #arcane #Everyone say thank you Crew-Ra

33 notes · View notes

cheesy09 · 6 days ago

Text

[CN] Kiro's In the Heart of Destiny Mind's Quest (1/3)

🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸

[Note: This date was translated with the help of Google Translate :>]

Trigger Warning: This Mind's Quest explores mature sexual themes, themes of violence, and trauma. Avoid reading this date if you do not meet the game's required 17+ age rating.

I highly recommend reading the Main Story chapters (at least season 1), as well as Kiro's R&S: Top Experimental Subject before reading the Mind's Quest.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[CHAPTER 1]

MC: This year, each department has completed many important goals. So during the Spring Festival, everyone should have a good rest. See you all next year...

Before I finish my summary, there is a knock on the door of the conference room. An employee from the business department walks in with an excited look on his face and his voice is so high, it's almost out of tune.

Staff: Boss! We received an email from Ms. Sarah! She is willing to give us her new work to produce!

MC: Who?

Staff: Who else? The queen of suspense, Sarah Pellegrini!

MC: ......"I sincerely hope that you can come to P Island, and I will do my best to be your host here.

MC: I will also discuss with you the film and television adaptation of my new book, Flower House*."

MC: Woohoo, Kiro, did you hear that?

Kiro: I heard it...

Through the mobile phone, Kiro's voice blends with the sound of the ship starting in my ears, sounding almost unreal.

As I turn up the volume, Kiro on the other end of the video call also zooms in.

At this moment, the sun shines brightly outside the ship on my side, while a bright moon hangs high outside the window on his side.

He leans back on the sofa and loosens the collar of his costume.

Kiro: [sulking] Honestly, you don't even read the emails I write to you so eloquently.

Kiro pouts in feigned dissatisfaction, and I smile sheepishly.

MC: I'm just so happy... After all, this is Ms. Sarah, the queen of suspense!

MC: You have no idea how many film and television companies around the world are eyeing her new book...

Kiro: I know I know—

Kiro drags out the last syllable of his sentence, and his tone becomes even more resentful.

Kiro: Because Nafei Film and Television also sent her an invitation letter.

MC: Nafei? The world's largest streaming media company?

Kiro: Uh-huh, they wrote "Kiro will star as the lead", "an estimated investment of tens of millions of dollars", as well as "Hollywood's top production team"...

Kiro: I didn't expect them to get bested by your team. They must be so depressed right now.

MC: Pfft, it doesn’t matter. Even if Mr. Kiro can’t be the leading actor for Nafei Films, he can still be the leading actor of [MC's Company Name].

Kiro: The leading man of [MC's Company Name]...

MC: What, you don't want to be one?

Kiro: Of course I do.

Kiro answers without hesitation, his eyebrows curved.

Kiro: Looking at it this way, you've become very powerful.

MC: Huh? Why do you say that all of sudden?

Kiro: I don’t know, it's just something that occurred to me and I wanted to say it.

Kiro moves the camera a little closer, and I am granted a much clearer view of his bright blue eyes.

Kiro: It feels like it was just yesterday that you invited me to help you save the endangered "Miracle Finder".

Kiro: Today, you're competing with the world's leading film and television companies.

Kiro: [affectionately] I… I’m really happy for you.

MC: After all, I have an international superstar boyfriend. So of course I have to work hard and strive for a career that will make him my permanent leading man!

Kiro: [almost resentfully] Mm, you work so hard, you have to go on a business trip to talk about work until the Spring Festival...

MC: Hahaha, so that's what you've been sulking about~

Seeing that Kiro is about to pout again, I quickly raise my hand to make a promise.

MC: Five days! I will finish the discussion within five days and come back to celebrate the Spring Festival with you!

Kiro: It’s a deal. If you don’t finish the discussion within five days, I will come to P Island and arrest you myself.

Kiro: You have to compensate Kiro for his "missing you fee", "loss of sharing delicious food fee", and "loss of kissing and hugging each other fee"!

We exchange a few words, and then Savin's voice sounds from his side. Kiro nods towards the camera and then turns to look at me.

Kiro: Savin has asked me to get to the shoot. I will video chat with you later when I have time.

MC: Okay, I'll hang up then.

Kiro: ....Wait a minute.

Kiro suddenly calls out to me. He opens his mouth hesitantly, and his expression grows more serious.

Kiro: It suddenly occurred to me that Ms. Sarah lives near Sicily?

Kiro: There's been some unrest there lately. There may be mafia activity. Please be careful when you get there, and feel free to contact me if anything happens.

Unrest? But as far as I can remember, I haven't seen any recent news about public security here.

A trace of doubt flashes through my mind, but I still nod and assure Kiro. Then, he reluctantly hangs up the phone.

I put away my phone and walk out of the cabin.

Although winter has arrived, the Mediterranean climate makes everything remain pleasant and comfortable.

Brushing away my hair, I watch the bow of the ship quickly cut through the surface of the sea, the ripples churning, and head towards the small island ahead of me.

P Island is not large in area, with only one small town on the island. The reefs and mountains embrace the locally-styled red tiles and white walls, making it resemble a secluded paradise.

Several of my colleagues and I follow the tourists off the boat. As soon as we arrive at the dock, we hear a cheerful female voice.

??: Ciao, MC.

I turn around and see a red-haired lady in a black dress waving at me with a smile.

MC: Ms. Sarah?

Sarah: It's me. I think you've seen my picture on the flaps of some books.

MC: Of course I have, but you look much younger and more energetic than in those pictures.

Ms. Sarah is not a writer who is keen on being in the spotlight. In the collection of news and interviews of her, she always appears as melancholy as her writing.

But at this moment, she is as cheerful and amiable as the midday sunshine in southern Italy.

Sarah: Oh, writers come out transformed after they finish up the hell of writing.

MC: Haha, I totally agree. Every time I finish a show, I feel like I’m reborn…

MC: However, it is precisely this "life and death" training that has lead us to meet here.

Sarah bursts into laughter and holds out a black-gloved hand towards me.

Sarah: Then, as someone who has also been "reborn after going through hell", I welcome you to P island.

We walk and talk with Ms. Sarah, and under her guidance, we arrive at a manor in the depths of town.

The manor is full of lush greenery and scattered flowers; it is obvious that it is carefully cared for by the owner every day. I let my eyes roam around the place.

MC: Did you get the idea for "Flower House" while you were tending to your own flower house?

Sarah: Honey, you're so funny.

Sarah smiles and shakes her head, looking forward.

Sarah: The inspiration for "Flower House" actually stems from an experience in my childhood.

Sarah: That experience was painful and has been haunting me ever since.

Sarah: But I thought it was time to face it and write it down, something like a farewell to that old thing.

Her voice gradually lowers, as if she has swallowed a sigh. I realize that I've said something wrong and quickly apologise to her.

MC: Sorry, I shouldn't have made such a joke before reading the novel...

Sarah: It's okay, I really like your sense of humor.

Sarah: In a moment, you will be able to see the outline and manuscript of "Flower House". You're going to be its first reader.

MC: That's great!

I ask the other employees to settle in and adjust to the time difference, while I myself am unable to wait to follow Sarah to the study.

Sarah hands me the manuscript and thoughtfully makes a cup of coffee for me.

At first, I am still able to drink the coffee and smile while appreciating the exquisite diction in the novel and the humor hidden in the dialogues.

But gradually, the corners of my mouth could no longer curl up, and only my fingertips continue flipping the pages silently.

MC: "The gardener said that in order to grow more beautiful flowers in the greenhouse, inferior varieties weren't needed..."

MC: "And then the flowers withered. Only I remained."

As the new generation queen of suspense, Sarah's greatest strength is that she's able to make people empathize with all the emotions of her protagonist. The tension, sadness, happiness...

At the same time, she also likes bringing up a pair of dark hands lurking in the shadows whenever the readers and the protagonist breathe a sigh of relief, thinking that all the truth has come to light.

These hands will gather the fog again and cause the protagonist to fall back into his childhood nightmare.

And in "Flower House", all of this finally comes to an end.

MC: "...I picked up the gardener's hatchet and walked towards him. And towards myself."

MC: This story is... so sad.

I close the manuscript and sigh.

MC: I originally thought that everything would end once the protagonist successfully avenged his childhood self... Why did he end his own life in the end?

Sarah: Because the pain of being trapped in the Flower House can never be relieved, only avenged.

Sarah: Those who have fallen into darkness can never be saved. The only way out is through death.

Sarah lowers her eyes. Her tone is light, as if she is saying something that is completely justified.

Is it true that there can never be liberation and salvation?

My heart aches because of her words, and a bright golden color suddenly flashes through my mind—

What about him?

Does Kiro, who was once in a similar situation as the protagonist in the book, also suffer and struggle in the same way?

Did I really pull him out of that darkness?

Thinking of this, I frown and bite my lower lip. But Sarah seems to misunderstand my expression and quickly leans forward.

Sarah: Sorry, did my words affect you?

MC: No, no, I was just thinking of someone I know.

Sarah: Who?

MC: He is actually the actor I want to recommend to you, Kiro.

MC: He's had similar experiences as the protagonist and has also faced a lot of darkness.

MC: He should be able to fit into the role well when performing...

Sarah: Wait, the Kiro you mentioned, is that the Kiro from B.S. Entertainment?

I nod, and the curiosity on Sarah's face suddenly disappears. She twitches the corner of her mouth, revealing a subtle expression.

Sarah: If it's him, I refuse.

MC: Why? Do you think he is too young? But I can vouch for his acting skills, and his professionalism is second to none in the industry...

Sarah: It has nothing to do with Mr. Kiro, I just don't want artistes from B.S. Entertainment to act in my works.

Sarah: I have some issues with them.

Sarah: It was precisely because of this that I declined the first invitation from Nafei Film and Television.

MC: .......

I never expected Nafei Film and Television to miss the opportunity because of this. I am rendered speechless.

Could it be that talks of collaboration between B.S. Entertainment and Sarah fell through, and they have since been blacklisted by the Queen of Suspense? I mutter to myself.

The atmosphere starts to become a little awkward, so I simply change the subject.

MC: We can discuss the role selection later. It's getting late now, so why don't we...

Bang. Before I can finish my words, a noise comes from downstairs.

Sarah looks at me in confusion and stands up.

Sarah: Maybe something got blown down by the wind. I'll go check it out.

She only takes a few steps out of the study when she suddenly lets out a scream.

Sarah: Why... you all...?!

??: ....Because we're done waiting.

A vague and unfamiliar male voice comes from downstairs. My heart skips a beat and an ominous feeling spreads throughout my chest.

I quickly rush out of the study and go to Sarah.

Looking down the stairs, the scene in the living room immediately clogs my throat.

Several men are seated on the sofa, each of them holding a gun, their black muzzles pointing at Sarah and me.

One of the men looks at me and gives me an extremely evil smile.

Man: Buongiorno, Signora MC… Oh wait.

He grins and slowly changes his words.

Man: Queen of Black Swan.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[CHAPTER 2]

Queen.

This unexpected name makes my brain go blank for a few seconds, and I find myself frozen in place for a while.

Who are they?

I suddenly remember the last instructions Kiro gave me during our video call on the boat.

-[Flashback]-

Kiro: There's been some unrest there lately. There may be mafia activity. Please be careful when you get there, and feel free to contact me if anything happens.

-[End of Flashback]-

Could it be that the "unrest" he was referring to is because of these people?

But why is the Mafia calling me... Queen?

I suppress the pounding in my heart and try my best to keep my tone steady, as if I have experienced many storms before.

MC: Who are you.

Man: It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is who you are.

MC: Meaning what.

Man: We need you to do us a favor.

MC: How troublesome.

The man changes his sitting posture, but the muzzle of his gun remains trained to my head.

T/n: I really like the touch of having MC imitate Helios' way of speaking when talking to the mafia. Really shows how couples rub off on each other 🥹

Man: Call the Boss of BS over.

The boss of BS... Kiro? What do they want to do with Kiro?!

I knew it. This is the organization that has been causing Kiro trouble every day, preventing him from getting peace of mind!

I curse him fiercely in my heart, but try to remain calm on the surface.

Should I play dumb for now? Or just say something to deceive him? Or should I agree first and then find a chance to contact Kiro...?

All kinds of thoughts run through my mind over and over again.

Since the other party isn't directly using force and only threatening us, they must be concerned about something.

Deciding to test them again, I raise a sneer.

MC: How interesting. Is this your way of asking for help? What makes you think I can call over the Boss of BS....

Man: Of course you can. After all, you are responsible for the staff resting in the hotel right now, right?

MC: You!

These people are so despicable! I take a breath and speak hastily.

MC: My employees have nothing to do with any of this. If you are looking for someone from BS, then I'm standing right here!

Man: Alright.

The man unexpectedly agrees with me. He waves his hand and gives his men some instructions in Italian.

Man: As long as you are willing to cooperate, my men will not disturb their rest.

Man: As for you two ladies, how about you please come down and take a seat?

I turn my head to look at Sarah. Her face is as pale as snow and she looks quite frightened.

Things related to BS... should not involve these ordinary people.

I take a deep breath, squeeze Sarah's arm, and lead her down the stairs.

Under the threat of gunpoint, I slowly take out my cell phone and call Kiro.

Busy tone, busy tone, busy tone...

No one answers the phone for several consecutive times. The man on the other end of the phone starts to look impatient, but I am relieved.

During work, Kiro and I rarely make continuous calls like this — If there is an emergency, we'd also find other ways to communicate.

If he sees me calling continuously and persistently, he will definitely understand... I bite my lip.

Just as I am about to hang up the fifth call, that familiar voice suddenly sounds from the other end of the receiver.

Kiro: For miss MC to be in such a hurry to find me, is something wrong?

His tone at this moment is polite and distant, as if we are just ordinary business partners.

In an instant, my uneasy heart settles down.

—Even without any hints or opening remarks, he is always able to understand me and my situation.

I clench my phone and speak in the same tone as him.

MC: Hello, Mr. K, could you contact the boss of BS?

There is silence for a few seconds on the other end of the phone, followed by another polite laugh.

Kiro: Miss, you're really making things hard for me... How am I supposed to contact someone as elusive as the Boss?

MC: But I have something urgent to discuss with him. Could you please help me, Mr. K? Just tell him...

MC: Queen needs him.

Kiro: Then... I'll do my best.

Kiro "reluctantly" agrees and hangs up the phone. I shrug at the man.

MC: I've tried my best. As for whether the boss is willing to contact you, then...

Before I finish speaking, my phone rings. It's a video invite from an unknown number.

As soon as I press the connect button, the dark night of Loveland City splashes onto my screen like ink. A dazzling silver that cuts through the night leaps into my field of vision.

A cloud of white mist still lingers around Helios' lips, as if he has just rushed outside. There is undisguised worry in his eyes, but he speaks with arrogance.

Helios: Queen.

—Isn't this transformation way too quick?! The enemy will find out!

I secretly glare at Helios, but Helios pretends not to notice and speaks first with confidence.

Helios: You are the Queen, so of course all your actions are being monitored by BS.

Helios: Including the fact that you called Kiro five times for help.

MC: Stalker.

Helios: [indifferently] Thank you for the compliment.

The moment our eyes meet, I feel as if he has gently hooked my little finger, or planted a feather-light kiss on the corner of my mouth.

It's cunning, and provocative.

Sarah: You're the Boss of BS...?

An unexpected voice sounds, and I turn to look at Sarah in confusion.

The writer who has been immersed in fear ever since coming downstairs, seems to finally come to her senses. She looks at Helios in the video with slight disbelief.

Sarah: So young....

MC: What did you say?

Her sentence is slightly muffled and I'm unable to catch it. At this moment, the man on the sofa opposite me snatches away my phone at once. He stares straight at Helios, his mouth stretching into a grin, revealing his sharp white teeth. It's like he wants to tear Helios' flesh off.

Man: I believe that this young boss has already seen our hostage, so please come to P island alone within 48 hours.

Man: Or else, Sicily won't mind one more bloodbath.

With my back towards the phone, I am unable to see Helios' expression through the screen, but I hear a very lazy laugh.

Helios: It doesn't take that long. Maybe 24 hours.

Helios: If she loses even a hair, I don't mind having one more murder on my hands.

MC: ....Kiro should have boarded the plane to Europe by now.

I stare at the dark ceiling above my head and sigh silently.

After the negotiation, all communication devices belonging to Sarah and me are confiscated and we are placed under house arrest in our rooms on the second floor.

I am worried about Sarah, my employees - who are now caught in this mess - and Kiro, who is on the other side of the ocean.

He'll take care of everything. He's a superhero.

I repeat this to myself over and over again, but this self-comfort isn't able to soothe the restlessness in my chest.

For some reason, something about today's kidnapping feels off, but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to figure out what exactly.

Finally, after turning over in bed for the ninth time, I resign myself to my fate and sit up and walk towards the window.

At this moment, everything outside the window is silent, with only the occasional sound of footsteps near the manor, announcing the fact that I'm still under their surveillance.

The night sky and the sea merge together, and the distant sea breeze stirs up the waves, beating them against the island over and over again.

I stare at the night for a long time. So long, that my eyes start to feel swollen and sore.

It doesn't matter. Once the sun rises, I'll be able to see him again.

MC: Kiro....

I cover my face, letting the moisture in the corners of my eyes melt into my palms as I murmur his name.

??: [chuckling] So this is how the Queen thinks of me.

MC: ?!

For a moment, I almost think myself to be hallucinating and raise my head from my palm in disbelief.

Through my tearful eyes, the man I have been thinking about appears before my eyes. He leans on the windowsill with one hand and reaches out to me with the other.

Helios: Won't you give me a hand?

Helios: This posture is rather uncomfortable, and you wouldn't want me to get discovered by the patrol outside, would you?

My body responds to his question faster than my brain does. I hold Helios's hand and feel his familiar warmth through our overlapping palms.

This isn't a hallucination, or a dream.

I am holding my lover's hand.

Due to inertia, I stagger back a few steps, pulling Helios into the room from the window sill, and the two of us tumble down to the floor together.

Although a layer of carpet separates us from the floor, the muffled sound of the impact still brings a dull pain to my shoulder blades.

But I have no time to care about my body's protests, because at this moment, my heart and eyes are solely focused on the person on top of me.

MC: Ki....

My breath is overpowered by Helios'.

His kiss still carries the dampness of a winter night, his lips cold, while his tongue, hot.

It is so hot, that it burns me inch by inch, from my lips to my ears.

Back and forth, on repeat.

Rather than being affectionate, it is more like we are using this awkward and urgent kiss to confirm each other's existence.

My grip on his clothes gets tighter and tighter, taking in the tension of his undulating muscles.

It is obvious that he is the one plundering me, yet I feel a certain greedy desire for him growing wildly in my mind.

MC: Kiro....

I whisper his name again.

Helios: I'm here.

Even though it is so dark in front of us that we can barely make out each other's outlines, our eyes stay fixed on the other.

A bit of moonlight shines through the clouds and seeps into his deep blue eyes.

Helios: I'm late.

MC: You big doofus.

MC: It's only been a few hours, and you're already here...

Helios: But you cried.

Helios' fingers gently stroke the red corners of my eyes.

Helios: If I had come earlier, you wouldn't have cried.

MC: You just want me to cry now.

My righteous complain makes Helios laugh out loud. He hums, leans over and presses my head into his shoulder.

Helios: [whispering] You can cry as much as you want, I will continue.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[CHAPTER 3]

We lay on the carpet hugging each other, quietly listening to each other's heartbeats.

Once my excitement finally subsides a little, I softly speak up.

MC: So how did you just... "pop up"?

Helios: I think you're the doofus, Miss Chips.

Helios helplessly pokes my forehead.

Helios: After knowing that you were being held hostage, how do you expect me to come rescue you in a "normal" way?

Helios: I found an Evolver with a teleportation Evol in BS, confirmed your location, and asked him to send me over.

I stick out my tongue. I did indeed forget that such a possibility existed.

Helios: As for the group of people that kidnapped you, I found out that they are the Ansoto family, a notorious mafia gang.

Helios: They were held responsible for a smuggling operation that got busted by BS and have been wanting to take revenge.

Helios: I reminded you to be careful because I had heard a report about this matter at a BS meeting. [Takes in a breath] I didn't expect it to be...

He pauses when he says this. When he speaks again, there is a hint of uncertainty in his tone.

Helios: But I do find this a bit strange. How did they know your identity, and where did they get your itinerary from?

Upon hearing his words, I finally realize why I felt something was wrong before.

MC: Yes, I was wondering about that too... And if they have a grudge against BS, why did they insist on you coming here alone?

Helios: Why else? They're overestimating themselves if they think they can handle BS.

Helios sneers. He lets go of me and helps me sit up.

Helios: I'll settle the score with them later. The most important thing now is to get you to safety.

I am about to nod, only to suddenly remember something important, and I quickly grab Helios' sleeve.

MC: Wait, they not only held me hostage, but also Ms. Sarah and the staff I brought with me. If they find out tomorrow that I'm missing...

Helios: Don't worry.

Helios reaches out and takes my hand in his.

Helios: I'm a superhero. I'll keep everyone safe.

Since we are unsure of how many mafia members are stationed here, we decide to act quietly.

The mafia guarding the corridor barely get any time to react before Helios quickly knocks them to the ground. After confirming that there is no surveillance on the second floor, we quickly come to the door of the room where Sarah is being held.

The door lock is a piece of cake for Helios. We wink at each other and I enter the room first.

As soon as the door is opened, a ray of light pours out from the crack of the door.

I take a light step inside, and the figure sitting by the bed quickly raises her head.

Sarah: MC? How are you--

I quickly make a shushing gesture to her and point to the door.

MC: Long story short, someone has come to rescue us.

I pull Sarah up from the bed as a look of confusion displays across her face. She looks over my shoulder and notices Helios standing behind me.

Sarah: You're BS's....

Helios: Mm. You must have seen me in that video call this morning.

Helios: Long story short, I'm here to rescue you.

Helios leans against the door frame and smiles, imitating my tone.

Sarah: ........

Despite his friendly tone, Sarah shudders all over and I blink in confusion.

MC: Ms. Sarah?

Sarah: I... I'm sorry, I was quite frightened.

She closes her eyes tightly twice, and after exhaling, her expression returns to the calmness it had during the day.

Sarah: Thank you, young boss of BS.

Helios: You're welcome. You and MC go to the dock and wait for help. I'll go and rescue the rest of your employees.

Sarah: If that's the case we could go through the gardens. There's a path leading from the estate to the town.

Sarah: You go ahead, I'll find the key to the garden and come down right away.

There is no time to waste. Helios nods and leaves the room.

I hesitate for a moment, but am still more worried about Helios' safety, so I nod towards Sarah and walk out of the room.

His fresh scent still seems to linger in the air. I walk along the corridor, carefully avoiding the mafia who have been knocked unconscious on the ground.

The closer I get to the stairs, the stronger the sickly-sweet smell becomes.

It's the smell of blood.

I can't help but hold my breath and gaze at the agile silhouette who is still in the midst of fighting.

Helios is like a cheetah hunting in the dark, silent and fluid as he maneuvers through several mafia members.

His movements aren't superfluous, while his fighting style is quick and decisive, as if he isn't on a small island in southern Italy, but on the set of an action movie.

These people don't even have time to scream before their sounds are stabbed back by the dagger he wields.

In less than a minute, the only sound that remains in the living room is that of slightly rapid breathing.

At this moment, Helios seems to sense my gaze and looks up at me. Although the light is dim, I can still see the corners of his mouth perk up.

Helios: Come on down, it's all over.

MC: [nervously] Kiro, you wouldn't have... done that to all of them, would you?

Helios: [chuckles] Which is?

I make a gesture of swiping my neck, eliciting a sneer out of him.

Helios: Oh, I didn't do "that" to them. It's just that when they wake up, some of their muscles and joints are gonna hurt so much that they'll want to die.

As he says this, Helios reaches out and pulls me into his arms, biting my lips in dissatisfaction.

Helios: [in a mischievously soft voice] As soon as you come down, you're only worried about whether I did "that" to them? Why not care about whether I'm hurt or not?

I wrinkle my nose in pain and softly protest.

MC: A bad guy who has time to bite people doesn't need me to... hiss.

Before I can finish my words, he grazes my ear again. His teeth grabs at the soft flesh, causing a slight sting.

Helios: [seductively whispers] ....I'll let you pay me back later.

While this guy is clearly threatening me, his husky voice carries a hint of Kiro's signature flirtatiousness, making him impossible to resist.

I am about to say something back when I am interrupted by footsteps coming from upstairs.

Sarah cautiously pokes her head out from the stairwell and sees Helios and I embracing.

Slightly embarrassed, I take a step away from Helios' arms.

MC: Did you find the key?

Sarah: Mm. Have you... dealt with those mafia folks?

Helios: It's probably just the three of us who are standing in this room right now.

Sarah parts her lips slightly, as if she wants to say something, but she swallows it back.

Sarah: Then let's leave quickly.

With Sarah's guidance, we bypass the mafia in the manor and soon arrive at the garden's back door. The iron gate is wrapped with several circles of heavy iron chains, and a somewhat mottled iron lock hangs on it.

Sarah hands the key to Helios. Helios is stunned for a moment, but still takes it and turns to the lock.

Dawn approaches, and in the far east, a subtle blue-gray light becomes visible in the distance.

The lock seems a little rusty and the key squeaks as it turns.

Sarah suddenly grabs my hand and takes a few steps back.

Sarah: MC, I'm sorry.

A little confused, I look at her, only to find that Sarah has already burst into tears. She suddenly raises her hands, holding something between her fingers.

It's a gun.

MC: ......?!

Sarah: Per i fiori appassiti nella serra (For the withered flowers in the greenhouse).

Her fingers tremble violently, and the moment she finishes speaking, she pulls the trigger without hesitation.

Bang--!

The sound of gunfire and the sound of the iron lock opening, rings out at the same time.

Screams ignite the rising sun, and blood awakens the silent island.

MC: Kiro!

Helios: .....!

The moment the gun goes off, Helios realizes something is wrong and instinctively dodges to the side, the bullet just grazing past his arm.

As soon as he stands firm, Sarah raises the gun again.

Sarah staggers, tears still welling up in her eyes, and an expression of near madness on her face.

Sarah: Both, the Ansoto family and BS should die together!

Before the second shot is fired, Helios jumps up and appears in front of Sarah like a ghost. With just one strike, the pistol flies out of the woman's hand and into his.

Click.

The tables are turned. Helios releases the safety and points his gun at Sarah. His blue eyes are as cold as ice, shining brightly in the night.

Helios: [voice menacingly low] Answer me, who are you?

Sarah: ......

Sarah painfully arches her back, but doesn't even articulate a groan.

??: Who's there!

A loud shout is heard near the garden, and it is clear that the gunshot has attracted the attention of the remaining mafia in the manor.

Seeing the large number of mafia beginning to approach the garden, Helios knows there's no time to interrogate Sarah.

He looks around, juts out his tongue, and makes a quick decision.

Helios: You go first, I'll take care of them.

MC: No, I want to stay with you...

My next words are interrupted by something he puts in my hand — a communicator.

His stands upright, his eyes not turned towards me, but towards the encirclement not far away, showing high alert.

Helios: I leave my back to you.

He never thinks of me as a burden, and superheroes should trust each other with everything.

I bite my lip and lean close to his ear.

MC: There's an abandoned lighthouse south of the pier. I'll wait for you there.

Helios nods slightly, and his eyes meet mine for a moment.

I turn around, push the door open, and run towards the path.

Bang——Foreign shouts and gunshots sound behind me, adding the final crazy melody to the chaos of this night.

Finally, once the manor is engulfed by the shadows of the trees, I can't help but turn my head to look back.

Helios is lost in the crowd, but Sarah does not join in the dispute and remains motionless.

In the distance, the morning light just begins to break, and she is dressed in a black dress, akin to a mourning crow.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

Next: Part 2

*Note: The proper translation of Sarah's book title "花房" is actually "Greenhouse", but I left it as "Flower House" instead cause it sounds a lot cooler, in my opinion. But if you want, you can read it as "Greenhouse" instead :>

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc kiro #HELIOS AND THE QUEEN ARE SO BACK BABYYY #THE FREAKING BEST KIRO DATE SINCE LIGHT PURSUIT DATE ASDFGHJKL #THE WRITING IS INCREDIBLE AND THE FACT THAT WE GET MAIN STORY LORE TOO #LIKE HOLY HOT DAMN I ATE THIS UP #PG DEFINITELY COOKED WITH THIS ONE GUYS 💦

34 notes · View notes

gingergofastboatsmojito · 6 months ago

Text

Carmy had an anxiety attack and Sydney stopped it

The Bear | 3x3 | Hands

Let us not overlook the fact that this season Miss Adamu ALSO reverted another one of his attacks, just because we focus on her girlboss speech. OK? The girl bossing is great, sure, but that's not the point.

The point is that Carmy was having a stress-induced anxiety attack in the middle of service, which given S2 eps 9 and 10, was bound to happen this season, of course. And Syd stopped it. Very Sydcarmy material, IK. THAT IS THE POINT. But the B side of that point is that so far I saw NO ONE on Tumblr focusing on that part of this scene, unfortunately. Please make my day and correct me if I'm wrong. Show me a post where this guy is showed some compassion when analyzing this scene, and not a post just cheering up on her girlboss one-liner and butch-femme energy. It's like no one cares. Don't get me wrong, I'm ALL ABOUT that girlboss vibe too, one thing doesn't cancel the other one out in my book. But go ahead, show me that post that highlights his anxiety attack too when meta-analyzing that scene, I haven't found it yet. I'm not gonna lie, because of course I prefer to be right than popular: It pains me and infuriates me in equal measure that just because we all love Syd, some people seem to think that's some sort of license to completely disregard Carmy's mental health deprecating by the minute throughout the entire season, in a rather painfully obvious way, since he got out of that walk-in.

Anyway... Moving on. There's more.

Her words or even energy were not what calmed him down and prompted him to get out of the anxiety attack zone and collect himself, it was looking at her eyes. They locked eyes, held their gazes, and only then he was finally able to get it together. In that order, as can be clearly seen in the vid above. It’s the order what matters, he calmed down AFTER locking eyes for a moment, you can see the shift in his energy not as she was telling him she couldn’t babysitter him but AFTER looking at her with piercing eyes for a sec.

Anxiety attacks and panic attacks are not the same. I encourage you to do the research because if you really care you will and this post is not supposed to be educational, I'm not in the mood for that today, this post is cathartic for me. What I will say though is that patients with panic attacks also suffer from anxiety and can also have anxiety attacks. Some even find it hard to differentiate one from the other. Professionals don't. The difference is quite clear: The build-up, the symptoms, the intensity, the duration, etc. Carmy is a C-PTSD textbook case.

The stressor that triggered his anxiety attack this time around was the lack of HANDS, which can also be a metaphor for the lack of help Carmy gets. Syd is pretty much the only one who really helps him. Ever. He's surrounded by people, yet very alone. Granted, he's not the best at asking for help, and he's not the best leader either, and there's only so much Nat can do being in her 3rd trimester and all, etc, so like I said, it was bound to happen to him, and it did, and when it did, Syd put out the fire with her presence and her calm.

She didn't patronize him, he's not a victim around her, he's just himself. He's certainly not cool-relaxed Logan either, she's not his babysitter, and she's just as stressed out as he is, but she compensated his lack of temperance with her peace firmness, and he responded to it. Because even in the middle of an anxiety attack, Carmy never gets his eyes off the prize. HE HAS TO WIN THAT STAR FOR HER, NO MATTER THE COST → She's his star.

Let us please also notice the fact that the C person MADE YET ANOTHER APPEARANCE IN THE MIST OF HIS ATTACK. That's the guilt I mentioned HERE, eating him away inside and causing him apprehension in the least convenient moment because once an anxiety attack strikes, your defenses are down and whatever you are trying to bury deep down your psyche comes up full force. So she keeps contributing to his anxiety even when they're not even together anymore. Classic.

He also thought about the other source of guilt that is eating him away, his fallout with Richie and how his Cousin didn't forgive him yet, even when he apologized to him and told him he loved him.

Another stressor: GUILT.

OK. Thanks for coming to my TED talk about how Syd calms Carmy the fuck down every single time and I need him to do the same for her in the hallway in 04x01 and return the favor, or I will set FX on fire. Because in case you didn't notice, this post was actually about THAT.

Bonus track: To calm down he willingly tried to think of things and people that bring him peace, and not only he definitely didn't think of C at that moment, he thought of Nat, of his time in CA and in Copenhagen, and this time around HE DID NOT ALLOW HIMSELF TO THINK ABOUT SYD, WHO HE KNEW WOULD HAVE ENDED THE EPISODE ON THE SPOT. He deliberately didn't. But she showed up and did the trick anyway:

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

#sydcarmy #the bear #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #the bear season 3 #carmen berzatto #carmy x sydney #the bear fx #the bear hulu #syd x carmen #gingerpovs #sydcarmy endgame #the bear meta #sydcarmy meta #claire who?#HE HAD A FUCKING ANXIETY ATTACK IN THE MIDDLE OF SERVICE AND NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE

52 notes · View notes

yuri-is-online · 8 months ago

Note

Do you think in future mc can develop to protect themself? There a lot of ways they can develop mc.

1-We know MC isn’t effective by the matches as they are curse. I was wondering if this curse is like anti stigma, for example Jin not being able to command mc, or Leo not being able to ear-drop mc.

2-Maybe the ring can give mc more power tho it is unliking as it said “ it will give the user a special power “ hitting that one power not powers. It be interesting to see more about the ring in future as well as mc. ( also I love your post pls keep it up! I do hope you make a post about MC ring )

Personally, I am still rooting for MC to get a gun. She can't be any more irresponsible with her trigger discipline than Romeo and Taiga are already.

I'm a bit confused as to why Cornelius and Hyde immediately jumped to "welp the mesmer matches just aren't working because of the curse!" It makes me wonder just how much they actually know about the anomaly that cursed the MC. He says that it's been a thorn in their side for a while, and Haku says he doubts Hotarubi would be able to do much about it either since they specialize in Japanese anomalies... so then why was he with Taiga? I apparently made a post I forgot about where someone asked something about Haku reporting to Cornelius... the more I think on it the more that almost seems to be true? Sinostra is on probation due to Taiga's actions, so if they needed to use him for something it makes sense to send Haku to keep watch if the Academy trusts him. Tohma seems to have a similar amount of trust placed in him (i.e. privilege to use the skeleton key, says he's trusted to both Kaito and Rui) so then why not send him? It being anti Stigma is a good idea, I don't think that's exactly what's going on but it's something that MC should consider and test out. It could be helpful data for her to understand her curse.

I'd love to make a big post about the ring! But there's just not enough information to warrant it at the moment, I might tie it into one on what we know about stigmas. I agree with you that it probably only grants the one power: to enhance stigmas, but I think it's important to point out that the characters repeatedly tell us we don't fully understand stigmas. In other words, we don't actually know what the MC is empowering or what potential consequences it might have. Something that both Alan and Haku seem to be very aware of.

#<3 asks #tokyo debunker #tdb

64 notes · View notes

silverthehedgehogcharacteristics · 3 months ago

Text

Justice: Driven by a strong Sense of Justice. Unlike other Guardian characters Silver’s mission stems entirely from his personal sense of rather than imposed responsibility like Knuckles and Blaze. Seeks to settle scores(Sonic Forces, dunked Rough the Skunk to get even in IDW) to get back for those that have been wronged and make evildoers pay for what they’ve done. Very confrontational because of this as he has zero tolerance for injustices or things like breaking promises and will take on anyone or anything to right wrongs and help his friends on the spot. Silver wants to become a hero because it means being someone that can “protect smiles”(Sonic & Silver), however “His wish is to maintain peace, not to eradicate evil”(Sonic & Silver).

Optimism: Silver is an optimist and embodies hope just as Sonic embodies freedom. He always looks to a brighter outcome, does not give into despair no matter how dire the circumstances and believes “There’s always hope as long as you don’t give up”(JP Sonic Forces quote). Inspires hope in others during dark times(Sonic 06 last episode, Sonic Forces, helping Elise through her performance anxiety in Otherworld Comedy) and spreads happiness during peaceful times as Silver became a top ranked ice skater and a “genius” skating coach celebrity in Soleanna to entertain and help people in Otherworld Comedy. When he is down it does not take much to bring him back up(Sonic Rivals 2). “His way of life inspires people and makes them want to watch over him and cheer him on forever”(Sonic & Silver).

Kind: Silver is an altruist that is always thinking of someone else’s happiness rather than his own(Sonic & Silver) and “Does not want to use his powers for himself but to help others”(Otherworld Comedy). Silver wants to “protect smiles” and make people happy because he grew up in a world filled with despair(Sonic & Silver) and people lived without hope(Sonic 06). Silver engages in Cheerful Activities after the historical change in 06(Sonic & Silver) and does things like serving apple slices(Wallpaper Comedy 2022) and giving gifts as Santa(Sonic Pict) because nothing makes him happier than seeing smiles. His altruism is the source of his mission and the only thing that can make him break from it as he can’t say no to a sad face or ignore those in need(Amy in 06, Soleanna Post Office in Sonic Pict). Silver has an enchanting smile(His smile fills Elise with trust and joy during their performance in Otherworld Comedy Act 4 and someone he serves apple slices to can’t say no to his smile even though they're full already). Silver is selfless and self-sacrificial, he has no regard for his own safety(Sonic Comic Pumpkin Trigger) and will sacrifice himself in a heartbeat if necessary due to his selflessness and recklessness. When Eggman attacks in Sonic Comic Act Final Stage, Silver instantly acts to shield everyone.

Peace: Silver lives and fights for World Peace. Silver is devoted to peace because he hails from a hellish ruined future that was filled with darkness, devastation and suffering. Silver has great empathy for both people and environments. Beautiful scenery and people living in prosperity takes his breath away while devastation and suffering saddens and upsets him. Even Dusty Desert is beautiful to him in contrast to the apocalyptic devastation and suffering he’s experienced because the land is thriving and the people are happy. Blue Skies and Smiles are especially important to him, blue skies make him feel at peace, and he can’t help but smile when seeing people’s smiles. The quills on Silver’s head are patterned in the shape of a Japanese Red Maple Leaf which represents peace and prosperity.

Silver is also very Sentimental. He finds great beauty in nature and deeply appreciates little things that most people take for granted. He serenely appreciates things like the legend of Revival Bridge in Sonic & Silver and says his favorite moment in racing is “seeing everyone come together and giving their all for a single objective”(Team Vector Interview). He relaxes and chats with Sonic before and after their mission in Kingdom Valley(Sonic & Silver). Can be Introspective and quietly contemplate things like the morality of his mission in Sonic 06 worries about Dodon Pa in TSR. Silver enjoys sightseeing and going on journeys(Olympic Games, Sonic Pict) as he likes taking in the world. This side of him ties into his peace themes due to his ability to appreciate beauty and serenity which the Japanese Red Maple also represents.

Forthright: Silver is Straightforward and Honest to a fault. He can’t tell a lie, wears his heart on his sleeve and has an “Honest, unpretentious and kind demeanor”(Sonic Channel Staff Column). Although he can have a smug attitude about his powers, Silver is very humble and does not think of himself as a hero(Sonic & Silver). Silver is a reliable person(Sonic & Silver) that cherishes his friends, strongly believes in and is genuinely grateful to those who help him(Sonic Rivals 2, Sonic & Silver). Silver is very direct and Proactive as he spent most of his life trying to defeat Iblis and find out how his future came to ruin when no one could tell him how and actively investigated Dodon Pa and Eggman in Team Sonic Racing. Silver is an Enhancer(someone that is determined and simple, never lies, hides nothing, is straightforward in their actions and thinking, their words and actions are often dominated by their feelings and is very focused on their goals). Every aspect from his naivety to his immaturity to his straightforwardness all tie into his purity.

Brash: Described as “Young and Immature” by his creator Shun Nakamura, Silver is Juvenile like Jet the Hawk. Silver is so straightforward and honest that he is also rude and blunt.He has no filter and will call you an idiot to your face if he thinks you’re an idiot and is so direct that he can ignore manners and social customs(06 NPC dialogue, Sonic Rivals 1+2), even Sonic says Silver has an attitude in Sonic Rivals. Silver has a rude and rowdy personality, being very abrasive, sassy and sarcastic, quick to insult or sneer at any opposition in both combat and competition(Sonic 06, Rivals 1-2, Riders Zero Gravity) or make snide remarks in general(Eggman’s theme part in Colors DS). Silver has a Mischievous Side(Sonic Commemorative Illustration series) and is Headstrong as he almost fights Blaze when she treats him like an amateur in Otherworld Comedy. Silver has various mannerisms that are informal/rude in Japanese including bad posture, using “Ore”(informal masculine “I”), “Anta”(Impolite “you”) that signifies he speaks bluntly, pointing directly at people he speaks to and crossing his legs while sitting(roughly the Japanese equivalent to putting your feet on a table).Silver’s blunt rudeness, honesty and overall traits are diametrically opposed to Eggman Nega’s over-politeness, deception and overall traits

Straight-to-the-point mentality, hates distractions and petty details(Doesn’t care what the plan is called, only that it works in Forces). This can make him impatient towards things that get in his way or waste time. Goal focused even in competitions he says the Jade Ghost Wisp is the only item he likes to use because it lets him “disappear and focus on racing” in the Nintendo Dream Team Vector interview. Silver is very focused, and picks himself up by saying “there’s no point in worrying” in the Japanese version of Team Sonic Racing. He describes himself as a Realist in Sonic Forces and encourages everyone to stay focused and move forward in that game. Silver has the pragmatic and somewhat ruthless “get-it-done” approach of Future Trunks(plays possum to hit Sonic in 06, mugs Tails for Rings in Sonic Rivals 2, sneaks past Soleanna guards to access Radical Train and begins all his fights with Sonic by trying snipe him with energy balls or cars). Takes his mission and potential danger very seriously, takes things much more seriously than Sonic and sometimes gets mad at Sonic for not taking things seriously or messing around(JP TSR, Sonic 4 Panel Manga).

Naive: Silver has a black and white perspective and is innocent in his ideals(06). Expects people to believe him when he says he’s from the future or explains outlandish situations simply because he knows them to be true(Which causes people to not believe him). Sometimes takes things literally and doesn’t understand jokes but has an angry attitude when he doesn’t understand things(Says “Yes, why?” when Espio asks “you want me to believe that?” in Sonic Rivals 2, says “What’s so funny” when he doesn’t understand what everyone is laughing at in Otherworld Comedy)

Emotional: Silver is emotionally Immature and unregulated/unfiltered. “Sometimes tends to deal with things too head-on because of the strength of his feelings, or he tends to take everything on himself”(Sonic Channel) which can make him Reckless(Sonic Runners) and Rash/Impulsive(various character bios). Feels joy and rage loudly(can get riled up) but sadness and contemplation quietly(Dead quiet when experiencing loss contemplating things in 06 and TSR). Sometimes needs to be calmed down or held back, hence almost always being partnered with stoic people. Silver is Short-tempered, Easily Angered and wrathful just like Blaze.-Silver gets indignant when people don’t listen to him(Sonic & Silver), punches things when he’s frustrated(06, Olympic Games) and has various emotional outbursts in his dialogue and animations in the Olympic Games series. Silver is hot-blooded, passionate and emotionally driven while Sonic and Shadow are calm and cool(Sonic & Silver Sonic Channel).

Fighter: fought and struggled for half his lifetime(possibly since he was Cream’s age) through the disaster future(Sonic & Silver) filled with darkness, large Iblis enemies and constant disasters. Can “sometimes calls forth great power without mercy”(Sonic & Silver). Has very determined and intense expressions, aggressive body language(even during competitions or just tasks he's focused on) and pointed sharp angular shape eyes like Sonic’s other rivals which represent intensity and danger in character design. Often makes fists and gets up with his fists in Sonic Forces. Instant fight response when surprised in Sonic Generations. Enjoys Fighting(Fights Sonic for fun in Generations) and can be quick to start fights for both serious and petty reasons. Can repeatedly destroy both colossal enemies like Iblis(Sonic Pict) and small armies of foes(various Town Missions) by himself. Silver is bold and undeterred by any threat(says “We can take them all on!” when facing Eggman, Knuckles and Rouge in Rivals 2 and “I’ll just destroy him everywhere at once” when facing Solaris) as he fought against disasters and large Iblis monsters in dark dangerous environments from a very young age and throws himself at every enemy from Iblis to Infinite with no hesitation, even if they are stronger than him. Silver values bravery/directness and dislikes cowardice/cowardly tactics(Sonic Rivals 1+2, Team Vector Nintendo Dream interview). Due to his backstory he is deeply appreciative of peace and prosperity but also has an often violent personality(Sonic Colors DS) and high aggression.

Determination: Arguably the most determined character. Doesn’t give up easily in any activity(got exact hedgehog apple slices after 40 tries). When Silver has conviction he pursues things with relentless determination no matter how badly he’s hurt or how hopeless the situation. Has no regard for pain/massive pain tolerance(Kept fighting undeterred after being kicked in the head by Shadow and skipped across the street like a rock by Sonic in Generations and endures excruciating "pain beyond description” caused by his powers in Sonic & Silver).

Challenger: Enjoys challenges and ways to test himself(disappointed when Orbot and Cubot don’t pose a challenge in Colors DS, Climbed Tokyo Tower in 2020 Olympic Games). Has a confident and somewhat smug attitude about his abilities and is very competitive(almost fights Blaze when they start one-upping each other over who could deal with Orbot and Cubot on their own in Colors DS). Makes steady efforts(Wallpaper Comedy 2022) to improve and regularly trains his skills. Silver has a strong curiosity and likes seeing cool new and interesting things(“Interesting”). Silver is very skilled and able to do various jobs around Soleanna and (06 Town Missions, Sonic Pict)(he takes offense to being treated like an amateur for a reason). One of Silver’s catchphrases is “I’ll take you on”.

Intuitive: Silver is noted to be very perceptive in the Sonic Rivals series as he figures out Eggman Nega’s disguises by noticing small details and intuits Blaze trying to control great power when seeing it for the first time in Otherworld Comedy. Silver is sharp and sometimes deduces things that other people do not such as how to revive Sonic in 06 or sending in the rookie when no one is expecting them in Forces. Silver can also be crafty such as when he turned his fight with Sonic into a race to collect Chao instead. Silver is not trusting as he didn’t believe in time travel until being physically thrown into the past, took time to work with others in the Rivals series and was immediately suspicious of Dodon Pa in Team Sonic Racing. Every central plot role Silver has from 06 to TSR is about him searching for truth and he has successfully figured out the schemes of Eggman and Eggman Nega before anyone else each time.

Often shown/implied to like Apples(he ate apple flavored calorie bar rations in the 06 Iblis future according to Sonic Channel Sonic Pict) suggesting they are his favorite food. Apples also symbolize sweetness, beauty, and hope for prosperity in Japanese and Jewish culture.

Lives in the good future after Sonic 06 the same way Blaze lives in the Sol Dimension when not in Sonic’s time(spends most of his time there as he doesn’t get to see Sonic very often according to Team Sonic Racing). Also implied to live in Soleanna(He was originally going to be named Venice simply because he lived there, implied to live there in Sonic & Silver and Otherworld Comedy, he may be Italian coded as his counterpart Sir Galahad uses an Italian dagger as a sword).

Silver is a Fly/Technique type character so he specializes in technical sports like ice skating and drives a high balance car(Team Vector Interview). Silver has sharp shooting among the best in Soleanna’s 1500 year history(Town Mission 6) and is also physically strong as he was able to evenly fight with Shadow until they were both out of breath in Sonic 06 and defeat Tails while his psychic powers were depleted in Sonic Rivals 2.

Sources: All Sonic Team depictions of Silver. Sonic 06, Rivals, Rivals 2, Colors DS, Generations, Forces, Team Sonic Racing, Sonic & Silver(Silver Introduction Story), 4 Panel Manga, Sonic Channel Sonic Comic, Wallpaper Comedy 2022, Otherworld Comedy, IDW Sonic, developer interviews and the Japanese context for his character elements.

#silver the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #sonic channel #sonic 06 #sonic #idw sonic #shadow the hedgehog #sonic colors #sonic rivals 2 #team sonic racing #blaze the cat #rough the skunk

21 notes · View notes