#angry and violent and emotional ed

[spooky-space-kook]

(Note: In the tags I'm using 'you' to address the fandom, not the OP.)

came across more fan art where Ed's got huge broad shoulders and big honkin arm muscles and Stede has a thin build, and I AM REPEATEDLY SLAMMING MY FISTS INTO THE TABLE, IT! IS! THE! OPPOSITE!!!!!! IT IS THE OPPOSITE!!!!!!!

I mean if an artist draws them both really skinny it's like "oh ok they aren't trying to build the skills to draw diverse body types" but whenever Stede is drawn with Ed's body type and Ed is drawn with Stede's I'm just like... why is this fandom so obsessed with drawing the man of color bigger and broader than the white man, when it is SO CLEARLY THE OPPOSITE IN REAL LIFE!!!! idk it's just a little sus to me that people are turning the average sized MOC into a big broad guy and the broad white guy into a twink. I mean even if I am reading to much into this and people are just drawing the legendary Blackbeard as a muscley dude (which like... you can't just remove the weird racial coding from your art, coding can be unintentional), why is Stede skinny??? you can draw broader dudes why are you not drawing him that way?? Rhys Darby is hot stop drawing him with a shoulder width of 10 inches

[crushingsterilisation]

Ypu know whwn you uh are in a weird panicky state (acute stress apparently) and you alternate vetween that and dissociating and you lose track of reality and overcompensate and undercompensate and want to fucking throe a grenade at your head

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

idk if this is a sex ed question, or if you're the right person to ask, sorry, but do you have any reputable sources about what testosterone *actually* does?

i see people saying it limits your emotions, that it gives you breast cancer, that it makes you malnourished, its a second more dangerous puberty, etc, and I'd like to think im good at picking out lies, but there's a lot of stuff that sounds like bullshit coming from blogs i thought were trustworthy.

if not, all good, thank you in advance!

hi anon,

I'm really glad you sent this ask, because this kind of scaremongering misinformation is deeply upsetting and I'm so happy to provide a better information.

there are tons of reputable sources as to what testosterone does; some that I'll be pulling from in this answer include Cleveland Clinic, Harvard Medical School, University of California San Francisco, Mayo Clinic, the Society for Endocrinology, and Planned Parenthood.

so, what's up testosterone?

testosterone is a hormone produced in everyone's bodies, either in the testes or the ovaries depending on which set of equipment you're working with. all bodies produce both estrogen and testosterone, usually in different levels. regardless of the genitalia you were born with, how you understand your gender, or what levels of testosterone you have in your body, testosterone affects things like your sex drive, your hair growth, muscle and bone density, and the production of red blood cells.

in people born with testes, puberty usually comes with an increase in testosterone that kicks off changes such as growth of the penis and testicles, the production of sperm, an increase in hair growth all over the body, deepening of the voice, greater production of oil on the skin, and an increase in height, weight, and muscle mass.

either an overabundance or a deficit of testosterone can have health complications, just as having more or less of any hormone that a body needs can cause complications.

people who choose to transition by taking testosterone will experience many similar effects as cisgender men going through puberty, including the increase in body hair, skin oils, and muscle mass, as well as a deepening voice. while people on testosterone are unlikely to experience significant growth in terms of height unless they start hormone replacement therapy (HRT) at a fairly young age, testosterone does frequently cause a redistribution of fat on their bodies to be more similar to that of cisgender men. bottom growth, the increased size and sensitivity of the clitoris to more closely resemble a penis, is also common; the clitoris and the penis are homologous structures (they're made out of the same goo when embryos start developing genitalia), hence why they react similarly to testosterone.

to address your specific concerns:

testosterone does not limit the range of a person's emotions. while it may impact a person's mood and the severity of their feelings, the same is true of any hormone - for instance, people also report mood changes when they take antidepressants or birth control. the sometimes drastic mood fluctuations experienced during puberty are not tied to a specific hormone; this is a turbulent time regardless of what hormones your body is producing the most. testosterone is stereotyped as making people angry and violent, but all people are people regardless of their biology and are shaped by much more than the hormones in their body.

while cisgender men and trans people on testosterone can both get breast cancer, testosterone does not pose any particular risk. several of the sources linked about don't find any significant link between taking testosterone HRT and an increased risk of breast cancer, reporting that transgender individuals who take testosterone are not at any particularly higher risk of developing breast cancer than cisgender women. for more detailed information about potential health problems affiliated with taking testosterone, I recommend the "Risks" section of the linked UCSF document. yes, there are health risks affiliated with taking testosterone; this is true of literally any medication and, more importantly, is also true of just being a person with any kind of hormones in your body. cis men and women also have health conditions affiliated with being cis men and cis women, this is the price of admission for having a human body. nobody gets out unscathed.

there is no evidence that testosterone causes someone to become malnourished. people undergoing a testosterone-based puberty, whether they're cis or trans, are likely to experience a great deal of growth and bodily changes that will use a great deal of calories, which means they may be hungry and need more food than they did previously. this is a normal effect of puberty on a body, and is only a risk for malnourishment if a person isn't able to eat in sufficient amounts to keep their body properly nourished.

there is nothing about a testosterone-based puberty that is "more dangerous" than an estrogen-based puberty, which is what I assume is the point of comparison. puberty is a completely natural process that does not pose any significant dangers unless you want to be a real dipshit about it and pull some shit like "puberty is dangerous because you grow breast tissue and then you're at risk for breast cancer," in which case sure, great job, Sherlock. you solved it, puberty is cancelled forever. I cannot emphasize enough how stupid this is, conceptually; roughly half the human population goes through this kind of puberty every day and they're fucking fine. puberty by itself is not a risk factor of anything.

I don't know what particular interest the blogs you've been following have in making testosterone-based puberty sound like it's going to turn you into an emotionally stunted skeleton with breast cancer, although I fear it's transphobia hidden unsubtly behind concern trolling and disdain for cisgender men.

if you're interested in taking testosterone and are concerned about the changes you might see in your body please, for the love of god, consult with reputable health resources and a doctor rather than whatever nematode is posting about testosterone ruining your life.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

what do you think is the line between friends and moirails for trolls? I was never sure how to feel about it, it seems so nebulous. also any idea what's with feferi trying to invite kanaya and karkat into the horn pile with her and sollux? like based on the description of moirallegiance that sounds like... infidelity. but it didn't seem like the trolls reacted that way.

What it ultimately comes down to is the fact that Homestuck is a story, and furthermore, one pervaded by things like fate and destiny, which are real and exist within its universe, and therefore, the moirails for each of our trolls has already been decided by destiny (the author).

But also, in a less meta way, the confusion you're feeling likely stems from the fandom misconception that a moirallegiance is just an extra best-friendship, which it is NOT. The stated function of a moirallegiance is to calm each other the fuck down, in order to prevent them from hurting themselves or others. It's this pacifying effect, and not whether or not they hop into piles and talk about feelings, that defines a moirallegiance.

Trolls are a very angry and violent race. Some are more hot-tempered and dangerous than others, to the extent that if left to their own devices, they would present a serious threat to society, or even to themselves. Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll, who may become their MOIRAIL. The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

Piles of stuff and feelings jams in them are associated with moirallegiance, but are not "something you only do with your moirail" - like getting coffee or holding hands are associated with dating your matesprit/human romance partner, but not exclusive to them, and, in many cases, not a form of infidelity (although they can be). For what it's worth, Eridan does call Gamzee's horn pile in the middle of the room a "vvulgar display," like Gamzee's chucked porno mags everywhere:

ERIDAN: wwhat a fuckin vvulgar display this is ERIDAN: airin out all his dirty laundry like that puttin a big fuckin pile a horns in the middle of the room ERIDAN: at least i got the upright basic decency to hide my shitty wand pile somewwhere in the lab you wwont find it dont evven bother lookin KARKAT: WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES HAVE PILES OF THINGS, JUST STOP.

So what Feferi's doing with Sollux is less "hey, come cheat with me on Sollux," and more "hey, wanna third wheel our date?"

Moirallegiance is about the "instinctive pull" and the pacification of both partners. Also, moirallegiance is very much romantic. The comic uses the word "platonic," but I think what it means is "chaste" - moirallegiance is not involved in reproduction, so there is no requirement or social expectation for physical intimacy; however, if it weren't a form of romance, it wouldn't exactly be a type of troll romance, would it?

Failed moirallegiances do not have this calming effect: Kanaya doesn't stop (or even really attempt to stop) Vriska from doing her Vriska bullshit at all, and in fact Vriska gets MORE agitated when talking to her:

AG: Ok, so you're spying on me. Kind of creepy! Man, m8y8e you should get a l8fe. AG: Or you know, if you're so h8gh 8nd might8 an8 th8nk you're so gr8at, m8y88 you c8uld oh I d8n't kn8w........ AG: TRY AND ST8P ME FROM DO8NG B8D THINGS????????

The same can be seen with Feferi and Eridan:

CC: Is t)(ere a lucky lady you are waxing scarlet for? CC: OR LUCKY F-ELLOW??? 38O CA: uh CC: Tell me! CC: Don't pretend you're all -EMBARRASS-ED SUDD-ENLY!!! CA: ok fef CA: this is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS

And with Karkat and Gamzee:

KARKAT: DON'T YOU START WITH ME KARKAT: DO. NOT. START WITH ME. KARKAT: I WILL GET YOU IN A HEADLOCK SO TIGHT IT WILL BE A MIRACLE IF PEOPLE DON'T MISTAKE OUR TUSSLE FOR AN ILL CONCEIVED VENTRILOQUIST ACT. KARKAT: I WILL SHOOSH YOU AGAIN, SO HELP ME GOD. I WILL SHOOSH YOUR CLOWN ASS TO SHANGRI-BULLSHIT-LA AND BACK, AND FILL YOUR EAR WITH MY WHITE HOT PALEBRO SPITTLE. KARKAT: I AM FULL AND FUCKING WELL PREPARED TO GET CONCILIATORY WITH YOU AGAIN IF YOU SO MUCH AS PASS GAS MURDEROUSLY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? KARKAT: IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??? DO I NEED TO CALM YOUR FAYGO-STICKY TENTSQUATTING SHIT DOWN AGAIN???? GAMZEE: naw brother, i was just about to all say for you to try and get your settle down on, maybe. GAMZEE: :o(

And what makes Equius and Nepeta so successful is that Nepeta keeps Equius's tendency towards fury in check, while Equius keeps Nepeta out of harmful situations (although he's maybe doing a bit too much of that and could afford to step back):

EQUIUS: D --> As such, he is prone to being more violent and unpredictable than any of us EQUIUS: D --> Not everyone has been as lucky as I in the domain of moirallegiance

AT: iT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST, AT: tHAT YOU LISTEN TO HIM, AC: :33 < i dont know AC: :33 < you think so? AT: wELL, AT: iF YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM BEFORE, AT: yOU MIGHT HAVE PLAYED GAMES WITH US BEFORE, AT: aND SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU,

And Feferi and Sollux work because Sollux is prone to excessive self-loathing, which, mixed with his mage powers of prophesying/invoking the future, make for a cocktail of potential harm to himself and others. Talking with her keeps his head above the water (heh) and forcibly prevents him from wallowing in self-loathing:

SOLLUX: anyway, yeah, now that aa ii2 gone forever ii feel more depre22ed and u2ele22 than u2ual, and ii wa2 already pretty cod damn u2ele22 two begiin wiith, let'2 face iit. FEFERI: But I )(ave it on good aut)(ority t)(at s)(e is fine! FEFERI: Everyt)(ing is going to go swimmingly, YOU'LL S-E-E. 38) SOLLUX: you are 2o riidiiculou2ly optiimii2tiic iit'2 kiind of 2iickeniing, why do you even put up wiith me? SOLLUX: iif you weren't 2o great ii would thiink you were a fuckiing iidiiot for liikiing me. SOLLUX: 2o, ii gue22 thank2 for liikiing me?

But even though these moirallegiances are ultimately doomed, there is some amount of pacification going on, making it difficult for the trolls to tell in the moment whether or not their pale relationship is true (Karkat does manage to stop Gamzee from murdering people, for example, but fails to address his religious beliefs and underlying trauma, whereas Gamzee can't calm Karkat down at all, so they end up drifting apart after the initial Major Problem has been settled).

The fact that it's a blurry line even for trolls is explicitly stated:

It's often ambiguous especially among young trolls whether a bond formed between an acquaintance is true moirallegence, or the usual variety of platonic involvement. Furthermore, romantic intentions of a more flushed nature can often be mistaken for paler leanings, much to the frustration of the suitor.

So this is kind of by design - part of adolescence, keeping in line with Homestuck's coming-of-age themes, is the messy romance. If it were easy to piece together, it wouldn't be true to life.

HOWEVER, that all being said, special notice does have to be taken of the way moirallegiance - moreso than even the other three quadrants - has an air of DESTINY about it. Trolls believe that every troll has one destined partner for every quadrant:

But if there was one theme to be hammered through his thick skull, it would be the trolls' cultural preoccupation with romantic destiny. Yes, the romantic landscape is rife with false starts and miscues and infidelities, red and black. But every troll believes strongly that each quadrant holds one and only one true pairing for them, and it is just a matter of time before the grid is filled with auspicious matchups through the mysterious channels of TROLL SERENDIPITY. In short, their belief is that for each quadrant there exists a pair or triad of trolls somewhere in the cosmos that were��

MADE FOR EACH OTHER.

So there's already a setup in this comic, which is so rife with prophecy and foreshadowing, that every troll is eventually going to end up with their true love/true hate - but even out of the four quadrants, moirallegiance is given special weight: first of all, it is the only quadrant that is literally translated as "soul mates":

This quadrant presides over MOIRALLEGIENCE, the other conciliatory relationship. A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.

And second, it's called "mysterious" or "magical," even in direct comparison to black/red:

CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE.

You then proceed to have the rest of this conversation we already read, bugging and fussing and meddling through the special and magical union one can only describe as being in moirallegiance with another. At least, you guess that's how you would describe it. Maybe. Troll romance sure is confusing!

And we can't forget:

Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll

Which lends to the idea that there's a biological compulsion towards needing a moirail, same as how there's a biological draw towards finding reproductive partner(s).

But this is why I always tend to use "destined for" when discussing moirail pairs, and also why I focus specifically on which individuals calm other individuals the fuck down - like how Gamzee says he "feel[s] so at chill with" Tavros, or how Karkat goes from completely losing his shit to "yeah, so that's it i guess" after talking to Eridan.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Can't even take the whole "Ed has anger issues!!!" thing seriously anymore. Why is that so common. Ed has the patience and grace of a fucking saint and he should be commended for it, not turned into a violent monster!

When Izzy gets up in his face and screams at him in s1e4, Ed manages to stay perfectly calm where anyone else would be screaming back (take Stede's example later in the same episode!). When the French captain is gross and racist to him, Ed has to visibly hype himself up before he starts yelling. Izzy opens the conversation where he threatens Ed in s1e10 with "I should've let the English kill you," and Ed STILL responds calmly, patiently, and perfectly politely until it's clear Izzy's going to just keep pushing. And then letting Izzy talk to him about his relationship with Stede at the end of season 2? Izzy's doing better but Ed is still the most forgiving person on the planet.

Ed's very good at performing a role, but it's so obvious that violence just doesn't come naturally to him. It's never his first instinct, and the worst we ever see from him is reactive violence. He has big emotions and he feels things strongly, but he's genuinely such an even-keeled person and it's so difficult to make him angry.

[italiansteebie]

Anger issues Steve? It’s never towards the kids or in front of the kids but any negative emotion is usually only translated to anger because it’s the only way he knows how to cope with what he’s feeling?

Maybe newly established steddie? Like eddie gets to see Steve’s anger up close, like maybe he hits the wall or break something? Something that’s not rlly considered healthy way to deal with anger and eddie freaks out bcuz woah red flag??? But they make up cuz I’m a sucker for it

Feel free to ignore this if it’s too much!! Love ur work, definitely my favorite to read ❤️

omg thank u so much, im absolutely loving this prompt and the influx of asks im getting its great!

---

anger is not steve's friend.

it makes him violent in a way that reminds him of his father and he is anything but that.

but there are things that make him tick, and he just...

explodes.

he knows it's not healthy, and he knows he needs to work on it, and he is! but these things take time and unfortunately for him, that's taking longer than it is for eddie to experience steve when hes angry.

realistically, eddie knows that steve has some... violent tendencies when it comes to anger. hell, he chewed on a bat from hell and ripped it in half, and that was from fear.

there was an inkling in eddie's mind that these violent tendencies weren't just reserved for times of life or death.

so when steve got off of what sounded like a particularly bad phone call with his father, eddie was only partially expecting the action that came next.

"fuck!"

and the next thing they knew, the phone and it's receiver was in pieces on the tile floor of the kitchen. "oh... steve..." steve's head whipped around to face eddie's from where he was in the doorway.

steve looked at him for a moment longer before picking up the majority of the receiver and chucking at the wall, both of them watching in curious fascination as the plastic and wires shattered like glass.

"steve?"

"what?!"

"woah, dude." eddie said, hands up in a non threatening way. he tried his best to hide the fear, he knows steve would never hurt him, but seeing this reaction in real time did throw him for a loop for a second.

and steve caught the hesitant apprehension on his boyfriends face. "oh, no. oh. eddie. im- im so sorry," his voice became thick with tears. he told himself he wouldn't let his anger get the best of him, but here he was with a broken house phone and his boyfriend looking at him in a way he hoped would never be directed to him.

"steve, it's okay..." eddie said placatingly, taking a few steps towards him. "no. it's not. im not him, i- i swear." steve said, backing away as eddie came closer, "eds. i don't ever want to hurt you." the tears were streaming with no signs of stopping now, and eddie sighed.

"i know, steve. it was just a little... different to see you like that."

"i tried! i try to hold it in and the he calls and fucks it all up! im working on it! i am, i swear. please eddie. i- i would never hurt you."

eddie could see the panic attack from a mile away. "steve, sweetheart. take a deep breath for me, please."

steve was breathing heavy and quick. "no. no. no." he was muttering under his breath, "i'm so sorry," he whispered, looking up at eddie with tears in his eyes.

and eddie's heart broke.

"stevie... baby. it's okay. it's okay, we'll work on it together, okay?"

"but im- im scary," it came out hoarse and terrified.

"stevie, you're more scared than scary. i promise. we can work on it together. we'll figure out a better way, so you don't feel like you have to hold everything in. that's not good for you baby."

steve let out a shuddering sigh, breathing finally slowing down, "okay. im still sorry though." he breathed.

"and i forgive you."

and so yeah, maybe steve has some issues with anger... but they're going to work it out.

together.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

So I want to talk about Ed's anger. A lot of people seem to catagorize the Kraken as angry. And a lot of meta has been written about how actually it's a defense mechanism not anger. But I am having a lot of feelings about how fucking scared he is.

Like I've made visual references. We see Ed angry four times that I can identify and one of these times he's also feeling other things.

Like he's a screamer. I've said it ever since the beginning, he's an intense guy and he feels his emotions pretty intensely. He's a screamer, is what I'm saying. He doesn't hold back his emotional response.

But all of the Kraken scenes whatever emotions he's having in that top video are certainly not the same emotions he's having in the Kraken scenes.

(I hate the fact that it won't let me upload more than one video I had videos)

But the scene I want to zero in specifically on is this one.

I'll just describe the scene for you. Izzy says his little "this is Blackbeard, not some namby pamby in a silk gown pining for his boyfriend," line and then Ed slams him against the wall and says in a very low, quiet tone "Choose your next word's wisely dog" and his face looks like this

And then Izzy brushes his hand against Ed's face and makes it incredibly weird.

To me that doesn't seem like anger. That's not how Ed expresses his anger under normal circumstances. Under normal circumstances he gets loud, maybe he breaks something. I think this particular choking thing is a performance. Because to me this voice sounds closest to the voice Ed is using at Story Time when he's specifically trying to be menacing to the crew. (specifically while he's telling the story of how his dad dies and then again when he says "She just might answer") It doesn't sound exactly like that because he's directing it at someone in an aggressive manner, but that's what it sounds the most like to me.

Basically he's preforming Blackbeard for Izzy right now, not having an angry outburst. I would like to posit that this is because the emotion he's experiencing right now is fear, not anger. This is akin to a fawn threat response (i.e. immediately trying to please or pacify the threat in order to avoid conflict.) It just looks different because pleasing and pacifying Izzy looks different than pleasing and pacifying other people.

And Izzy gives him some....

Positive(?) feedback. Feedback that means it's working.

Then then next time he does anything violent it's after he's had time to think. He throws Lucius overboard. He's not angry in this scene either

He fucking smiles at Lucius, does a full on Kubric stare, and acts pretty numb about it after he does it. He's laying it on thick with the "I'm Evil" bit in that scene. And then during the toe scene, that fucking voice shows up again whatever he says right after he says "open up" is in that Blackbeard TM voice.

Ed hasn't once in the show before this bothered to hide or temper his emotions, he's an incredibly expressive man (or a highly emotional person as David Jenkins has described him), but in every scene in between when he lets go of the fabric and when he's alone in his room crying motherfucker is going for the Oscar, he's got a full mask over his emotions. Izzy showed him in the scene where he touched his face that this would work in terms of satisfying him that blackbeard's back so he performs and performs and performs. Why? Because he's afraid, not angry. Blackbeard is and always has been a suit of armor for him.

And this is supported by him saying "I am the Kraken." The emotion we're coaxed to associate the Kraken with is fear. Ed introduces us to the concept of the Kraken by telling a story about the scariest thing he's ever seen. Then the first time we see Ed truly afraid and he has a PTSD flashback to killing his father, it's followed up by him crawling into a bathtub and confessing that he's the Kraken. When the Kraken originated we see Ed's face morph from a face of terror to a face of determination, he kills his dad, and then Ed's own capacity for violence becomes his worst fear, and the reason he doesn't kill people directly.

Anyway. He's not mad (in either sense of the word), he's terrified.

[sarucane]

Why did Ed headbutt Stede?

This one is fairly straightforward in the show but also fun to rant about so here goes!

I think the short version of this answer is "because Ed had no other way to communicate FUCK OFF at that moment." Ed can't talk, doesn't seem able to move, and is very unclear on exactly what's going on and what he's doing (even a while later he has a deeply revealing conversation with a confused rabbit--he's definitely not all there in this moment). Still, Stede's wrong when he suggests it was an accident: Ed owns the action later when he yells "I'm glad it hurt, that's the point of head butts!"

That being said, it's worth taking in the context for a sec, because Ed does love Stede and there is a theoretical potential for this to go to a very dark place. Balancing the violence of the pirate world with portraying healthy relationships is quite a challenge for these writers, as it'd be easy to tip over from healthy to very unhealthy.

In the same episode, Mary gets stabbed in the back quite deeply (it's knocking on bones) and it barely bleeds, let alone hurts once it's out. Ed and Stede have both been run through with swords but since "the important bits" didn't get hit, they needed no recovery time. Hell, Ed got shot in the arm and hit in the face with a cannonball in S2E2 and he's fine by halfway through E3. A headbutt is nothing on this show, it's like a kid elbowing another kid on the bus.

Ed head butts Stede because he's angry and in emotional pain, he's a pirate and pirates (not to mention many humans) express emotions through violence, and Ed can't break a chair or smash something--so the headbutt is the only available option.

And in terms of walking that line between health and unhealthy/violent relationship: the headbutt not only does not take place while Ed and Stede are in a relationship, it is itself a way of Ed saying "WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP 'CAUSE YOU DUMPED ME FUCK OFF." When Ed is in possession of his faculties, he is still using violence to externalize emotions, but Stede is emphatically not a target of that violence.

Ed doesn't even look at Stede from the moment the anger starts rising, and he turns his back on Stede and moves to another part of the room entirely to smash shit. Not the most mature response, but consistent with Ed's character and history while also pointedly sidestepping that dangerous territory.

And Ed's anger fueling the headbutt is completely justified.

Stede and Ed are often in different emotional places within their relationship, but they're rarely as far apart as at the beginning of episode 3. Stede is acting (in fairness understandably given the near death thing) absolutely no differently than he would if they were, at that moment, in a romantic relationship (which fits with his whole "I didn't dump him, we're on a break" schtick). But Stede quite brutally broke Ed's heart, triggering a crisis that led to Ed being so convinced he's "not loveable" that he despaired of living at all.

Stede says "I thought I lost you," and the only appropriate response to that is "YOU DID," and that needs to be made clear to Stede, because there's a difference between "being on different pages in a relationship" and "being on different pages about a relationship existing." Ed is hurt, badly, and Stede's total lack of acknowledgement of that is absolutely infuriating. Like Ed says, hurt is the point of head butts: Ed was hurting and Stede wasn't, and that distance in experiences demanded a response, so Ed seized on the only one available to him.

[gettingfrilly]

I need to just gush about Ed and Eddy and how emotional they make me for a second. I've talked before about how Eddy is the golden child in his family while his bro is the scapegoat, given the "#1 son" mug and his parents disapproval with him having anything to do with his brother. Well Ed's family has the same situation going on, with the youngest, Sarah, being the golden child, and Ed, the eldest, being the scapegoat. So you've got two best friends who have known each other since they were toddlers, one who was abused by his scapegoat big brother, and another who's currently being tormented by his golden child baby sister.

And that's not where the similarities end! Eddy and Sarah, other than being the youngest and the golden children, have a lot of other things in common, too. Their short tempers, violent outburts, permanent loud volume, and penchant for using Ed for their own gains make them shockingly similar characters. It's also pretty heavily implied throughout the series that Eddy is a mama's boy, and we have a pretty good idea of what Sarah and her mother's relationship is like ("I'm telling mom!")

So if they're that similar, why would Ed want to be around Eddy? The answer is the key difference between Sarah and Eddy; Eddy likes Ed, and Sarah does not (not on the surface, anyway.) Eddy will yell at Ed, hit Ed, use Ed, and be an all around asshole to the guy, but at the end of the day, he still wants to be around Ed. He wants to watch his scary sci-fi movies with him, pull pranks on the other kids with him, have sleepovers and camp out and encourage his overactive imagination. And Ed responds so well to this because Ed loves Sarah. And here's Eddy, so similar to her, and yet so different. Of course compared to how Sarah treats him Ed would see Eddy as soft and cuddly like mashed potatoes.

Then you have Ed, the scapegoat elder brother, twice Eddy's size and impossibly strong. If he wanted to, there would be nothing stopping Ed from ruling the cul-de-sac the way Eddy's brother supposedly did. We see in Little Ed Blue that even Sarah is scared of Ed when he's seriously angry, and he's easily the strongest kid in the neighborhood. It's Ed's own gentleness and loving nature that leaves him docile and so affectionate. I think that normally, Eddy would be scared of someone so much bigger and stronger than him, and that Ed probably does remind him of his brother in some ways. You'd also think Eddy would want nothing to do with someone as touchy feely as Ed is. And yet Eddy always seems to be having the most fun when he's joking around with Ed, even gets extremely touchy feely himself when the two of them are having a laugh together.

(btw the little giggle Eddy lets out before muffling his laughter by hiding his face in Ed's chest is the top cutest Eddy moment in the entire series.)

ANYWAY the point of me rambling about all of this is that I think Eddy and Ed see in each other the sibling relationship they wished they had, and through years of building their friendship, have created such a relationship. Eddy and Ed are brothers through and through, and it's why they remain so close despite the multitude of reasons they have for not liking each other.

[scary-flag]

People being all "Ed is just an emo babygirl after a breakup, like, who wouldn't act like that???" and yeah I LOVE emo babygirl Ed, but I do not think cutting off someone's toe and feeding it to them is really a sad babygirl action (although you go girlies, he did deserve that)

Jokes aside, though: We are NOT being told anything in specific, and his actions can be interpreted in various ways. Did he go fucking feral, all kraken and shit? Sure, but he also cried when looking at the lighthouse painting later, which tells us he did not really, like, vow to not give in to his emotions again or something.

On the other hand, we ARE explicitly told in canon that Ed is *not* mentally well, and I do not mean it in a bad way. Maybe we, as a fandom, should stop acting like Ed's PTSD and his trauma responses are something bad that we can't work with? Ed has every right to be sad. Ed has every right to be angry. He has every right to be fucking traumatised. And by making him feel those feelings the fanfic writers or fan artists are not necessarily being racist, homophobic or mental-illness-hating. Ed is just human and he has human feelings. People react in all kinds of ways to heartbreak and trauma.

I know we all love babygirl Ed, but keep in mind that woobifying his reaction to Stede leaving him, we are kind of writing off the whole mental health aspect of the character, which, I think, is super important in the show? Going as far as removing this aspect of Ed (and I have seen people who really believe Ed has absolutely zero issues) is kind of building the stupid "we shouldn't talk about mental illness" ableist taboo agenda.

(to read more about masculinity and rage in the context of POC experience, I recommend to dig into what @uselessheretic posts who is definitely better at writing in English than I am and likely more educated on the subject)

There is nothing wrong in wanting a character to be flawed. Flaws make us human

Another point: He is a PIRATE. Most people are not making him violent and angry because he's gay, nor because he's a POC. Most do it because he is a pirate, and if anything, the legendary pirates were generally known to be unhinged. Pirates stabbed people, keelhauled them, burnt whole villages down, traded slaves and r*ped. I know we all love OFMD and our blorbos, but let's not forget who the inspiration behind those characters were. No one does anything wrong by just by saying a pirate character HAS issues with his mental health, anger management or attitude. Some people just give Ed (or Izzy, or Stede, or any character honestly) more of the real-world pirate characteristics.

Yes, it is a comedy show, but in fan works it can become anything - a drama, a horror, a post-apocalyptic sci-fi slasher, whatever the author wants. So I think that people who do not interpret Ed's reaction to the breakup as basically a cutesy american teenager eating ice cream in bed listening to Evanescence are not necessarily wrong and neither do they have bad intentions.

[perfecteggpartyland]

I just got here, read through all this. I have seen multiple responses saying exactly my thoughts perfectly. They’ve answered your questions, and you are talking around them and bringing up subjects they’ve already addressed. I’m sure a lot of the people that are not explaining themselves have read them and agree with them. Why would they see the need to reexplain what’s already been said? So your argument about there only being two people explaining doesn’t make much sense to me.

I do agree with you that some fics can take Kevin’s fear and responses to trauma too far. It doesn’t bother me much, I don’t mind traits being exaggerated, I think it can be fun in the right context. I completely understand if Kevin’s exaggerated “cowardice” can make you uncomfortable. You’re valid to feel that way. It doesn’t mean everyone else does tho, it’s objective.

Kevin is called a coward because compared to the other main characters, he decidedly is. It would be a normal reaction for normal people, sure, but this book is not normal.

Neil has been running for 8 years of his life, and decides even though he’s terrified, to stop. Even though he knows it’s a death sentence. He knows he’s going to die, and so he starts defending and protecting people. It’s not that he doesn’t realize how much danger he’s in, it’s that he doesn’t think it will effect anyone but him at first. And when he does, he actively puts himself in harms way to make sure no one else gets hurt (more).

Andrew has gone head first into every supposed threat to “his people”.

Aaron reacted to seeing his brother getting hurt almost instantly, faster than even Neil, and killed a man. He faces off with everyone with a lack of self-preservation rivalled only by Andrew, Neil, and Nicky(tho his is a little more out of naïveté in a way).

Jean is a “coward” in that he stopped trying to save/help himself. But he always did what he could to help Neil, even when it could get him in trouble.

Nicky came back to America to raise two violent(Andrew), angry, and drug addicted(Aaron) teenagers. One he barely knew and the other he didn’t at all. Leaving the safety of his fiance and the distance between him and his parents. Now this one I acknowledge seems smaller than the others, but he still put himself in emotional distress for years to make sure these boys weren’t going to his parents.

Kevin was in a position that he still had some power. I know it wasn’t a lot. I know he was mentally abused by the people that were supposed to love him. But out of everyone, he was the closest to Riko. I don’t think he could have, or should have been responsible, for completely stopping Riko. But he could have done more to help Jean in the ways Jean helped Neil. I’m not saying stop the abuse, I realize he doesn’t have that much power, but be there more to support him.

The difference between Kevin and the others I listed, is that they all went through abuse of there own. But when someone else came into the picture they could help in anyway, they did their best to help them. Kevin did a little, but he was scared so he didn’t do all that he could with his “privilege”. And when he got horribly hurt for the first time, he ran and left Jean.

I am NOT saying people in abusive situations are cowards. I am not saying I think Kevin is a coward for putting himself first. You do what you have to do. Kevin’s reaction to his trauma is NORMAL. (Your reaction to trauma is normal too, anyone who’s reading this <3)

In the context of the f***ed up story that is AFTG, and the other characters I mentioned: Comparatively, Kevin is a Coward.

To touch on the one point I see you keep bringing up. Neil “broke” after being in the nest for 2 weeks because he was being constantly tortured and then physically pushed to his limit for 2 weeks straight, to the point that he doesn’t remember some of the things done to him (tattoo, hair dying.) Kevin was abused and forced to watch torture, yes, which is completely horrible, but he was steeped in it from a young age. He was groomed into it. Comparing their scenarios makes NO sense.

Most “Kevin is a coward” people, do not hate Kevin. (Not speaking for the entire fandom obviously). Kevin is objectively more cowardly than the others in OUR OPINION. This is objective. People are going to see this differently. I’m sure some might agree with the basic point but disagree on some of the finer details. Which is fine, because it’s an opinion.

You’re not going to change our minds by calling us morally wrong, and vice versa.

I know this will probably be cherry picked. But this is a nuanced situation. Neither of us a right or wrong. (⚫️⚪️ ? 🚫 -> ☑️)

If you read this entire thing than thank you.

And I know it can get rough on the internet so please remember I’m just a stranger on the internet with opinions. I’m not attacking you, i don’t think you’re wrong, I just think this is getting a little ridiculous.

(I didn’t read over this so I’m sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes)

Thanks <3

- LHM

Got it; I was curious and never forced someone to change their minds; people responded with their points ; some points I agreed and said so; I said my own points as in why I think the way I do; politely ;I didn't intend to change anyones minds and I don't call people morally wrong who think about Kevin's character and think he's a coward; I think if Kevin being called a coward simply because he was abused is wrong;like that's the sole reason some of them responded that I didnt answer and calling someone a coward simply for being abused doesn't sit right with me; especially since a lot of people including me can relate to the foxes; Neil;Kevin; etc. I appreciate you being polite and didn't really mean to come off as some sort of morally crusader cause I hate that; I made a post about Kevin as a an abused being called a coward for specific people who just wanted to piss of someone. I'm okay with people disagreeing; like I said I enjoyed a discussion with people who responded and both of us said our perspectives and points; cherry picking but no one wanted to talk even before I stated my points; but it's fine; I simply was curious as in why; and if people don't want to discuss it and are tired is completely fine as in they can ignore me if they want too. Never wanted to shove some stuff in people's minds so things got heated I guess; most people who I talked with over the years do HATE Kevin and I was just wondering why; it's fine if he's not everyones fav character at all; thanks for talking about this tho; appreciated a lot. Didn't really intended to come off that way

[xcrisscrossx]

I noticed a parallel.

Izzy pushed Ed to the edge until he became violent with him — berating him, saying he wished he had died, getting in his face, mocking him, threatening him. And then Ed choked him. Cut off his toe.

Ed pushed the crew to the edge until they became violent with him — forced them to go on endless raids, showed no sympathy or care, threatened them, sailed them into a storm and threatened to blow a hole in the sail. And then they shot him. And then they killed him.

Both of them don’t know how to deal with big emotions well so they resort to violence. Izzy knows Ed, knows how to poke him to get the reaction he wants. Izzy wanted Ed to be mean again, to be the tough and unbreakable Blackbeard. He pushed him into being violent in the hopes of getting things back to normal.

Ed pushed the crew in order to “outsource” the big job. He tried rhino horn. He tried endless raids. He tried to get Izzy to kill him. None of it worked so he had to make the crew angry and desperate enough to do it.

Idk where I’m going with this but yeah

[amuseoffyre]

Shame as a weapon

I got to thinking the other night about the way that shame is weaponised through OFMD. It comes from all directions, from characters who believe they are doing it for the right reasons like Ed’s mother and Jim’s Nana to the people who use it like a blade to control or maintain the status quo as they perceive it should be like pretty much every male antagonist.

The definition of shame is “a painful emotion caused by the belief that one is, or is perceived by others to be, inferior or unworthy of affection or respect because of one's actions, thoughts, circumstances, or experiences”.

From the word go, it becomes evident that shame and being shamed plays a large part in the story.

Our first culprit chronologically is Nigel Badminton: you were so soft and weak. He belittles Stede’s behaviour, his mannerisms, his interests. It’s very telling that after his death, Stede’s own self-doubt and fears about himself manifest in the shape of the man who had belittled and diminished him since childhood.

Then we have dear old Dad Bonnet, not gleefully malicious like Nigel but far colder and crueller. As far as I can recall, there was not a single positive exchange between father and son. Once again, Stede was shamed for failing to meet the expectation and demands that society placed on him.

There are so many other moments: Ed’s mother (“we just aren’t those kind of people”), the people on the party ship with both Stede and Ed at various points, Nana (“you only killed one of them?”) Calico Jack ("I didn’t know I had an audience with the fuckin’ pope”), Stede ("surely she should give up the dishonest title”)

The one I find most interesting, though, is Izzy Hands. He attempts to take control of a situation with Lucius in episode 5. The “oooh daddy” scene was meant to mock and humiliate Lucius, but the trouble is that he’s trying to belittle someone who sees nothing embarrassing about who he is.

He tries to shame Lucius again later in the episode, leaning in close and threatening “to spill all your beans” and implying Lucius’s promiscuity is worthy of shame. The glorious moment when Lucius kicks the proverbial legs out from under him by being completely unashamed and then turns it back on Izzy by bringing up his own embarrassing incident? Masterful. Showing simply and easily that “I see your little game. I see the weapons you’re trying to marshall against me. And babe, I can use them too and I can do it better”.

The contrast between this interaction and the “whatever this is that you’ve become” scene with Ed is so compelling. Ed’s vulnerability has been building and building. Between his layers of trauma from his childhood, his social class issues and how he tried to break cleanly from his old life to the way Stede abandoned him, he’s floundering, trying to work out who he is and who he wants to be. Izzy throws an emotional tripwire across his path.

Lucius armed himself to strike back at Izzy, gathering information and turning Izzy’s own tricks against him. Ed isn’t in any state to do that. Izzy’s just randomly slapping emotional buttons, aiming to get a response, and as he did with Lucius in the “oooh daddy” scene, it’s a very homophobic approach: while he was mocking Lucius’s flamboyance, here he’s scoffing at Ed’s softness and lack of masculinity and aggression by focusing on his clothing and ‘pining’.

It’s very telling that the thing that really shatters Ed’s fraying composure isn’t the mockery. It’s the mention of “your boyfriend”. Izzy doesn’t care about that part. He just sees the shaming has worked because “there he is”. There’s the violent angry man he follows.

We know Izzy has done tirades like this before. He’s done them to Ed’s face before and Ed just gave him a bemused look. But this time is different because all the chinks are open in Ed’s armour and for once, Izzy’s shaming slips in, cutting where it normally would just slide off, slicing across all the many layers or grief and trauma and misery. It’s a hard thing to lay yourself bare and now, here is the man who is meant to be your loyal friend threatening you after salting all your wounds.

Ed is already reeling from being abandoned by someone who he loved and who he believed might love him. Now it’s coming at him from another angle, from someone else he considered a loyal ally, who is reminding him of that first abandonment while also adding their own violent intent on top. Once again, he’s been shown and told he’s not enough as he is.

And when the moment is followed by the crew asking Ed for another song, even if people joke and laugh with him, how long before they joke and laugh at him? It’s happened before, after all. “Nobody laughs at me”, he said. Better to maintain the mask and the status quo where no one can see what’s underneath.

[stuworbutwitheds]

One of my favorite eene episodes is "Little Ed blue" which isn't a surprise since i have noticed is a fans favorite in general but i still want to talk about a specific part of the episode.

When both Eddy and Dee try to light him up, Ed's reaction is exactly how he is reciving said "light up" and it shows so damn well how clever Ed can be.

When Eddy tries, he yells at Ed, pulls his clothes and insults him. What is Ed response?

He quickly throws him away violently. This, while still being a very aggressive reaction, shows that Ed can totally defend himself and he is able to express his discomfort when he wants to.

But my favorite part is the next one. When Dee tries, he simply hugs him and treats him way more nicely than Eddy. How Ed acts with this?

He calmly push him, not so far away but enough to have his own space. Ed acts as the way the person treats him and still reads the situation with a cold head to not simply punch everybody in the face. (Thing that he can easily do btw, this boy is fucking strong.) And that shows a lot of emotional maturity from him, especially when considering both Dee and Eddy can be quite the trouble when they're angry.

Heck, even after Eddy hits him in the head, he will not go after them. He starts going around and destroying the place but he's still controlling himself. Ed really is a golden guy.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Sorry I’m gonna be a bitch now. You know damn well people would take Izzy’s abuse of Ed more seriously if it had been physical. If in ep 10 izzy had physically hurt Ed when he confronted him a lot more people would take Ed’s emotions seriously. Ahem. Anyway. Sorry for ranting in your inbox! You don’t have to post this I just needed to get it off my chest cause I’m tired of people still thinking izzy was just being “a little mean” and I know I can trust you to have good ed takes 🫡❤️

Mhm let's say this a little louder for the folks in the back. I know I'm preaching to the choir here on this blog but you're right and we should say it.

Now, even if Izzy had physically hurt Ed, there already would've been a few things that make it harder for some people, especially white fans who haven't put in the work to examine their biases, to sympathize with Ed:

Obviously, he's a man of color, who is physically taller than Izzy. Portrayals of men of color as victims of abuse are vanishingly rare, and I've seen arguments that Izzy couldn't have abused Ed because "Ed is stronger than him." There are no physical perimeters at which abuse becomes impossible but Ed does not ""look"" like a victim.

Ed is an imperfect victim. He gets angry and he lashes out. He reacts in a very human way, and even if we can see that any violence on Ed's part is almost always reactionary, he once again does not fit the image of what a victim of abuse "should look like."

Izzy's specific MO of emotionally abusive behavior towards Ed focused on quantity over quality; he fails to understand Ed as a person so many of his attempts to encourage specific behavior are like throwing things at a wall and waiting for something to stick. He is not good at manipulating people but he is good at being consistent - he does not fit the stereotypical image of what abusive behavior "should look like," with most of his tactics looking like lying to Ed, isolating Ed, gaslighting Ed, etc., with varying results. It's realistic (people who abuse others in real life do not have to be smart or particularly good at manipulating others) but it's not what some people will expect.

Izzy is often specifically trying to trigger violent behavior in Ed, again making him look like a "bad" victim

Izzy is, obviously, a masc white man, and many people will be willing to take him at his word when he yells at Ed that he has to manage Ed's behavior even though the show contradicts this

And when you add in that Izzy doesn't physically hurt Ed, but is physically hurt himself as a result of his actions? Yeah. It's pretty easy to see why so many people will tell you that Izzy was ""just yelling.""

[uselessheretic]

w here do the ppl who share these dumbass takes even COME from... how is trying to wreck the ship in the middle of a massive storm killing everyone and himself and threatening ppl at gunpoint NOT violent... and how is any MOC being depicted as a 2D caricature of "Flawless and Virtuous Victimhood" (totally never a loaded concept) the only alternative to racist violent/impulsive/hyper-emotional stereotypes (that's not just a dif way of dehumanizing characters of color). and y r u SAYING all this just bc of like. shipping wars over a high-concept sitcom on the internet. wack. new types of ppl on earth every day.

it's so crazy because it really is a complete lack of media literacy which ik is a statement overused but dear fucking lord.

people have no idea how to actually analyze the role poc play within a narrative, contextualize it within both a narrative and historical framework, and apply an antiracist lens from there! things are so much more complicated than just having "good" representation of poc where they're never violent or angry or abusing substances. that's simply not the reality for many poc, especially queer poc who are in communities that are chronically traumatized.

ed's just? so complex and nuanced in a way that characters of color are rarely allowed to be. he isn't vilified by the narrative! he's given depth and time to explore the reasons why he's like this. and then instead of being written off as a lost cause, he's afforded kindness from others and a space where he's able to better himself.