uselessheretic

[uselessheretic]

This screenshot from a gardening Facebook group has been on my phone for several years and I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to delete it. Apparently it comes from a British gardening book from the 80s. I know we all joke that the English are afraid of flavor, but I assure you, you are not prepared for this.

GARLIC

Until quite recently, scientists smiled at all the wonderful medicinal powers claimed for garlic, but recent research has shown that there is some truth in a few of the old wives' tales. Garlic, of course, has an important role in Continental but not in British cookery — it really isn't worth growing unless you are a fan.

Any well-drained spot will do. Buy a head of garlic from the greengrocer or supermarket and split it up into individual cloves. Plant them 2 in. deep and 6 in. apart in March. Apart from watering in dry weather there is nothing else to do until the foliage turns yellow in July or August. Lift the bulbs and allow to dry under cover, then store in a cool, frost-free place.

If you are a beginner with garlic, you must use it very sparingly or you will be put off for ever. Rub a wooden salad bowl with a clove before adding the ingredients. Rub the skin of poultry before roasting and then you can try dropping a whole unskinned clove into a casserole or stew, removing it before serving. If by then you have lost a little of your garlic fear, you can try using crushed (not chopped) garlic in meat etc. as the Continentals do.

[uselessheretic]

i think one thing that will really invariably get me to click out of a fic immediately, if i even get as far as opening it in the first place, is He Would Not Fucking Say That’s hornier cousin “he would not fucking fuck that hard or that prolifically”. like when regardless of canon personality a character enters the bedroom and immediately becomes this almost christian grey parody ultra suave dom with dubious bdsm practices and it’s like. i’m very sorry but i truly hand on heart do not think he knows how to use his dick like that

[uselessheretic]

our spiritually elevated rejection of canon vs their intellectually dishonest refusal to engage with the text

[uselessheretic]

Car Trunk vs Car Boot: A clear win for US English, trunk was already a thing in which you stored items, frequently for transport.

Crisps vs Chips: I gotta admit, the Brits have this one. They're thin slices of potato that have been made crispy. No chipping of any materials involved.

Car Park vs Parking Lot: Equally matched. What's a car park? A place to park cars. What's a parking lot? An otherwise empty lot where you can park.

Elevator vs Lift: Both equally fail to address that the damn thing also goes down.

[uselessheretic]

this post feels like it’s lost some of its original context because I remember reblogging it in 2012 when I didn’t have a smart phone and smart phone ownership was much lower in general. So being on tumblr on Christmas meant being physically at a computer and being visibly unsocial if not completely removed from any festivities. Now everyone’s on social media every day of the year. A true heritage post really

[uselessheretic]

*flirting with an older man* when i was born you had already attempted suicide once

[uselessheretic]

English added by me :)

[uselessheretic]

English added by me :)

[uselessheretic]

English added by me :)

[uselessheretic]

English added by me :)

[uselessheretic]

Your friend who has a resting stink face

English added by me :)

[uselessheretic]

English added by me :)

[uselessheretic]

I think it’s so funny how we have to speak to men like preschoolers when it comes to having empathy for women. like hey buddy… I know you think girls are icky :( but remember your mommy? your mommy is a girl! and then they’re like ohhhh… mommy IS a girl.. and I do like mommy… this is starting to come together

[uselessheretic]

seeing a lot of people suggest that healthcare CEOs should go into hiding or employ more private security and i could not possibly disagree more. you can't live the rest of your life in fear. i think it's imperative that they get back to work, in person at least 3 days a week at the headquarters address listed on their company's website.

[uselessheretic]

the jayce, mel, viktor dynamic we could've had

[uselessheretic]

I could only see a better me in your eyes