#and you dont have to think this is normal because if you by now havent harbored some sort of
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ruyan is literally so beautiful that i get ill looking at her
#a lot of my time as a person who cant recognize himself to the point that if you start asking about myself im going to lie to you#is that i really like to engage with media that asks you to be present in the text by creating an outside being who simply has#some similarities to me#like the concepts i know i have. but make them their own unique person#so ruyan is really fun in that if i was a well adjusted person she would probably be a self insert and not her own person#but instead by the grace of god and my own mental problems she exists and is a full person that i practically see as a friend#like when i like a character so much that they become a comfort to me (emil) my brain engages in relationship interpretation to that#chartacter. emil is my daughter who i feel paternal sentiments to despite me being a human person and her being code in a video game#for ruyan she is like a friend where i want to go to her wedding and see her kids and hear about her life#i may have made her but i watch her as if i just met her'#recognizing this thing i have going on has helped me immensely be comfortable with myself#ruyan is a friend to me a sister tock is my daughter who i feel a real world father-daughter dynamic towards#i feel the need to nourish her and entertain her and put her to bed and let her know i love her#and you dont have to think this is normal because if you by now havent harbored some sort of#This Guy is Weird sentiment towards me youre either like me or VERY kind#but i know that i have parts of me that are weird. i am 23 years old bringing toys to the beach#but i dont chase validation so much as i just enjoy when its given to me#but i dont need validation because i cant even form my own self to need validation for#im learning about myself like im wiping down an old mirror. that doesnt need validation because im seeing it for the first time#im having my understanding moment here and you are free to leave the room and leave me to my mirrow
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So I drew cyrus in one of his outfits from TACO salad!! A amazing fic by Lady_Sandry on ao3. Some close ups under the read more and notes in the tags!
#octopath traveler 1#octopath traveler#cyrus albright#okay Now i can ramble#So. first off i honestly dont think i did a great job making him look like cyrus. i do struggle to transfer characters into my style without#lowkey redesigning (the curse of rarely doing fanart and being a character designer)#constructive criticism welcome btw!!#but some general design notes!!#i wanted to add purple into his color scheme because its simply a color i associate with him (to me Therion is light purples and cyrus is#dark purples)#despite his actual color being black. i just dont like using black unless im doing like blank and white w pops of colors#same thing with white. i normally use off whites.#about his eyes!! they are grey in the fic so here i gave him very grey light purple eyes (for previously mentioned reasons of not liking#black and white)#and!! to represent his magic are the blue yellow and red eye shines. red being the main one since its mentioned he was naturally inclined#towards it in the fic#i used paper and pencil (overlined w a blue pen) then took a picture and drew atop that in ibis paint (great option if you only have a phone#btw.)#also i havent drawn since. literally my last post#so im Rusty#getting back into it yippie<3
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#so for the last like. as long as i can remember. ive had a shit sleep schedule#mostly like sleep all day and stay up all night kinda shit#but i got sick/burnt out recently and slept for almost two days straight#and somehow it reset my sleep schedule to something normal#like i went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 5am for the last few days#and i havent had to nap#and the not needing to nap is really fucking with me#like im used to waking up. feeding my dog. and then napping until i go to work#i should be napping rn. but im not tired#i dont have to get ready for work for another four hours and ive already been awake for three hours#i went to the coffee shop and to walgreens. im in real clothes instead of pajamas. i did a load of laundry#im laying in bed (its so hot i might be dying) and i just. dont know what to do with my time#im probably gonna do some cleaning and packing because im moving in two months#idk im just feeling some strange type of way because for the last few days ive been. alive#instead of sleeping my life away#its so strange. i got sick. slept for a few days. and now my biggest problem is just fixed? and i can have a life now?#its 70 degrees today and the world is my oyster. what should i do?#i have a list of chores im gonna do. i might walk to the coinstar machine so ill have money#yeah i want to do that cuz im in the negatives in my bank account but i want to get a cool drink before work today#my dad texted me this morning 'noticed your bank account is overdrawn for the second time this week. whats going on kid?'#which is such a sad text to get because i know im broke. thanks dad. lets pls ignore my financial hardships#if you want to make my dad less sad hmu for my venmo /hj#anyways ill probs do that today. get some cash so i can get a frozen lemonade from wawa or something#yknow that post thats like 'seasonal depression seems fake until its 50 degrees in march and it feels like you took a party drug'#i think thats partially whats happening here. its 70 degrees and sunny and my systems dont know what to do with that#i hope youre all having a great day that you dont sleep through. i love you!!
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Siigghh
#vent#idk man. feeling hopeless again#it is. so hard to be optimistic about the future when it is genuinely difficult imagining myself anywhere else but here#its difficult imagining myself getting out of this house that’s actually through a realistic scenario and isn’t just wishful andromanticized#my friends are trying to help me get out of here at least but is it even going to work out? is this all even going to be worth it?#idk.#imagining myself in a happier scenario genuinely truly does not feel right. it doesnt feel realistic. it doesnt feel possible.#and whenever I think about it I just feel weird because I know I can’t get my hopes up like that#the thought of myself being happy doesn’t feel normal.#i feel like i’ve just been stuck in the same place i’ve always been and i always will. both literally and metaphorically#i’m always going to be in this shitty house around my shitty parents rotting away like i have been for nearly 18 years now#and i feel like despite my age i haven’t actually grown up. I havent grown as a person or changed or anything.#i dont have any big achievements. i’ve never worked. I put off getting drivers ed for years until now#I don’t know how to cook or to do things the right way unless i’m shown#literally 80% of my fucking life has been spent in my room or in school#i feel like i’ve just been in stasis for years and the thought of actually having a life feels impossible.#i get the whole ‘you don’t want to die you just want an escape’ thing people say but I genuinely can’t think of any other way I could really#escape this.#the only thing that’s really keeping me from actually going ahead and killing myself is the fact that it feels selfish. i feel selfish.#because its going to hurt my friends and im going to feel even worse about it if i survive#I’m honestly envious of all my friends lives. why couldn’t i have gotten that lucky.
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hey guys is this anythingburger :-)
all art credit goes to sadist and their animatics! go here NEEEOOOWW
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#dsmp#c!tommy#c!tubbo#c!techno#<- the main three that the edit focuses on. smiley face#flashing#<- just in case#okay now I'm free to ramble about symbolism#cclingy and ctechno all didnt want to be anybody's soldier and they all achieved that through different means#techno didnt like being a weapon for government so he destroyed the government.#tubbo didnt like being a tool for power so he became the power#tommy is the name for a british soldier. he wanted to be his Own soldier and nobody else's#do you see the vision ?#<- all applies to early dsmp through new lmanburg characters#not talking about like. post doomsday#anyway I heard nobody's soldier by hozier and started foaming at the mouth thinking about ctommy#blacked out. this is real now#hope people notice the things like president ctubbo having the lines 'taking no orders'#because i put thought into them heavystyle#okay I'm going to go eat now i havent done that in a while ive been locked in on this#if you notice any mistakes. No you dont#<3#and can someone teach me how to tag things. i dont do this normally im so lost#ive been on here for YEARS and my dumbass still dont know how 2 maintag#i just play in the corner with my tuoys maaann i cant be doin all that#edits tag :-)
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#i need to be away from here#gott i just...#im autistic right just fyi#and my mum does not treat me as if i were#like she has neurotypical standards for me which i have to meet otherwise there will be Bad Consequences#and this is killing me bc im not neurotypical#the only way she'll treat me as autistic is if i get officially diagnosed#which i kinda want but also dont want#and its just. she's. gott my relationship with her is so complicated but shes caused me so much hurt and trauma and pain and#thats what im feeling right now. that.#i should get a diagnosis for me not for her#but i dont think i can survive in this environment for much longer#i told my dad i might try get diagnosed (havent talked to him about autism before) n he was like “okay”#pretty much verbatim#which is realistically the best response i couldve had#then he went on a rant about how autism “didnt exist” in the past and how its caused by vaccines#and this drug which apparently helps with autism and when i said No im not doing that i dont want to be “cured” this is a thing that#shouldnt be cured he was like ??? then whyd you want a diagnosis#hhhh but that i can deal with. after 4 years of being subjected to his and my mums conspiracy theory bullshit i can put up with it#at first it really stressed me out but i can cope with it now and come up with well thought out and factual grounded counter arguments#n i told my mum that dads fine with me getting a diagnosis n then i asked her if when i get one she'll treat me as if i were autistic#and she laughed and was like wait until you get one#like she doesn’t think i am which shows how Fucking Little she knows about me and how much i have to hide from her#because shes always shouted at me for Every Autistic Trait i display#im never fucking good enough for her#she treats me and percieves of me as if im neurotypical and Im Not#i remember once (after something happened) i heard her shout “WHY CANT I HAVE FUCKING NORMAL CHILDREN” or something like that#that sticks with you.#that shit hurts and sticks with you#who gave this woman two queer autistic mentally ill children to raise who's fucking plan was that
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today i return to the sea
#mine#its my last first day of school (until/unless i go to grad school but thats way off if it even happens)#the rest of these tags are all just going to be complaints so keep scrolling if you dont gaf#ok first complaint. my schedule is stupid and awful i think#winters schedule was weird too. but this one kinda sucks#the main problem i see is that both of my main classes are in the middle of the day so theres probably going to be people eating#(i have mis0phon1a)#so thats number 1. 2nd problem is that those classes also have the grading scale where u need at least 95 PERCENT to get an A. girl!#they are also both 400 level spanish classes so theyre just going to be kind of hard and annoying and a lot of work in general#the next problem is that my other class is actually not quite a class it is a teaching practicum. which i didnt even 100% want to do#but the certificate could be useful so im doing it anyway.#one of the guys in that class (i know some of the students already from winter) eats like a hog for like the first 20-30 mins so thats goin#to be miserable i bet. also at some point im gonna have to teach a lesson myself#which is scary and also frustrating because again i didnt even really want to do this. WHATEVER#ok what else. ummmmm#oh i think i might be unemployed LOL normally my boss would have done schedule coordination stuff like last week but i havent heard from he#at all. this is because we are government funded and the government does not want to fund us anymore -_- suck my balls#and my hog too. so money is going to be a concern which is especially awesome because ive already been trying to save up#becaues im moving out this year hopefully so im gonna need $ for that and for probably upgrades like i might get a new phone and computer#and stuff etc. and i live in an HCOL area so even though i literally just buy groceries my bill is like $294358939358/month#SIGH. also of course the final problem on the list is the behemoth of them all: i have to apply for jobs#i made a little spreadsheet to hopefully make the process easier. but its going to be agony lol fucking resumes and cover letters how about#i just kill myself now -_- and fucking interviews too. fuuuuuck you suck my nuts and dick and balls#i dont know how im going to cope iwth any of this LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also as usual i have like no friends so its just me going it alo#alone* in this big awful spring. 2 and a half months of this.#i suppose i will need to go back to the dispensary.#fuuuuuuuuuck man
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Thinking abt the random card au again. Why must it go so crazy hard I miss it sm
#rat rambles#random card au#no matter how far I drift from my bndori and sekai peak days the random card au keeps hitting me like a truck every now and then#it just scratches an itch that I havent been able to satisfy since my cr days years and years ago#I wouldnt say the random card au has super similar worldbuilding to my old cr stuff as that was much more large scale#but it still has a similar appeal to me I think#I think its the building entirely new worldbuilding based off of designs and general vague starting concepts and bringing them all together#that gets me invested as it feels so satisfying slotting it all together and then actually getting to play out the story in this new web#I loveeeee jumbled webs of worldbuilding and characters that all tie together in a way that makes it almost impossible to completely#seperate one cast of characters from another#I love the feeling of a world with a bunch of intertwining plots like that even if it makes it near impossible to format a normal story#like my cr stuff was just so much man I still miss it sometimes even if I hate cr itself#Ive become a much better story creator too now so I know I could make what I had so much better nowadays and I already like my old stuff#it just makes me all the more sad that I went so crazy hard on worldbuilding for a franchise that sucks ass </3#it may have been two of the worst years of my life but Ill also never reach that worldbuilding high again I think#oh also it made me actually start the slow slow process of getting more ambitious with my art and doing more digital stuff#rly thats the biggest reason the random card au pains me so since I wanna post stuff for it but man do I not wanna draw anyone from it#first of all human characters so already eh but also Id have to adapt the cards theyre based on into a design I can actually draw#so as much as I wanna make a billion random card au animatics I cant even bring myself to draw them normally#you see olivia and jackie are easier to draw because I just made shit up for their designs and as such made their designs very simple#but I cant just make shit up for bndori and sekai characters they actually have designs and hair that Id have to adapt to my style it sucks#I just wanna draw doggy arisa is that so much to ask for (yes yes it is I dont wanna figure out her hood)#also rip mygo yall will probably never get in but who knows maybe one day Ill have my second bndori era and then y'all will get in#its rly just the fact that they likely wont have enough cards to properly add them for another few years#especially if that other band also gets in if that happens neither are getting enough cards until the servers shut down lol#like I Could just pick and choose but thats boring#kinda ruins the point of the au y'know?#like tbf Ive cheated in the past by reroling two and limiting my options with several sekai characters#but thats just because at the time most sekai characters had almost no usable cards for this au and the two I rerolled were also unusable#like Im sorry but I couldnt just add normal ass hagumi and masking it wasn't happening
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why havent i been talking to the much much cooler and better older sister who is a furry and super nice and fun to talk to and cares about my opinions and feelings instead of the one who cant respect boundaries and makes me feel like a mistake and doesnt care abt how i feel
#the bin#shes also the only normal person in my family#and when i say normal i mean it in a treats other people with respect way not in a societally normal way#cause she the least 'normal' of my family in that way. which is a good thing. be a freak. autism makes u cooler by default#idk. she sthe only person who i feel like actually cares about me and my opinion and wants to hear what i have to say and views me right#i wish we talked more when i was younger. shes so nice. i hope when i move we can houngout together more and maybe watch some movies#and talk abt stuff or smth. we r probably gonna play some games together soon which is nice#i miss her. i think i can also talk to her abt how our other sister kinda sucks. i know she views her pretty highly or at least used to but#i still think i can. i dont think itll make her uncomfortable.#ive been looking over the past years with my other sister and they havent really been any good mostly#ive just been so isolated and sad that it was better than nothing but its past that point now#if id had other people to talk to then i wouodnt have soent so much time with someone making me feel worse#i also think shes just made me a worse person overall. more judgemental. the past year ive become very against that trying hard to not#and she gets very upset with me when im like hey. yknow. id rather assume the best of random strangers not doing anything that bad#i dont wanna assume everyone is an inconsiderate asshole because they arent. life circumstances we dont know about could be#the reason for this honestly pretty mild inconvenience. if u wanna think otherwise then thats fine but dont day it around me#idk. im tired of it. im still super sad but ive become a much more bright and hopeful person because im trying to be#it actually sucks to view the whole world as horrible and everyone around you ass horrible#idk. maybe i can get my other sister to do the fun stuff with me i dont like doing alone#cause it makes me unbelievably sad to realize i dont have anyone to ask anymore at all. period. but maybe it doesnt have to be that way
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i havent been very active here because i havent actually been struggling too much lately. i usually go here when im exhausted or having a hard time relating to my disabilities but over the past while ive been really good. yayayayay
#i keep this blog and my normal regular blogs separate#because i dont like being worried about#so this is meant to be away from my friends where i dont have to make myself tired and struggle#like ive said i CAN type normal like im doing now but#this blog is for when i just cannot force it anymore.#this masking ability is ONLY online. i cannot mask in real life. if you saw me type like this after hearing me speak with my voice#youd think we're different people#but yeah thats why i havent been on really! i can talk easier. still hard but i dont need to hide and rest
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feels like the universe (trans people I follow on tumblr dot com) is telling me I should get into tf2 again to spite my ex who tried to convince me playing it meant I was apparently cool with white supremacy somehow
#realizing im the regular amount of insane ive always been and ive just been gaslit into believing im extra insane and unlovable is crazy#what do you MEAN my last delusional episode was over 3 years ago and not like. last december?#what do you mean my professional diagnoses have stayed the same and im not worse worse worse infecting everyone around me??#i can't do it because it would actually be very mean and bitchy of me but i think it would be so funny if i messaged them erev yom kippur#like 'i know you dont celebrate but i wanted to say before the day of atonement that i forgive you and im grateful you left'#dont worry about the thousands of dollars you owe me because id rather not hear from you ever again. im sure you already werent worrying tho#seeing as you havent made any effort to pay it back at all :^) just keep the furniture as a reminder of the time you uhhh.#broke a glass and told me i ruined your life because i was sad a family member died#also it was really cool how you left me and then gave me a ring and then kissed me even though i didnt want to. normal behavior!#glad you finally got a job now that you cant just use my money anymore. crazy how that works isnt it?#ugh i feel evil rn. just thinking about how happy i could be if i didnt respond to their message like i was thinking i shouldnt years ago#i guess i cant be sure. everything would be different. but i wouldnt have been so specifically manipulated by them and id have more money#which would be helpful for like. medical stuff#id still be on psych meds which would be nice bc i do feel like im on an eroding cliffside rn
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really have some "family" problems going on right now. A full grown adult acting like petulant child situations, messing up things because they arent getting their way.
#just found one of my jars of leave in hair conditioner just....scooped out clean#not even used in hair-just she just dumped it either down the sink or in the trash#just because she wasnt getting the things she wanted#its.....a thing happening right now#i dont know myself too well mentally but i havent been talking or doing things about this#just going to work and coming back home doing things normally#i think thats backfired on me somehow?#im just very tired and just-well not underperform at work-but dont have the energy they want me to have#so thats why i took my leave of absensce#they asked when i'd come back (it doesn't start until the 20th of this month) but im not even sure#i think i just need that time for me to actually make stuff you know?#inshallah i can rest well
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some cecil facts for people who dont know who he is or havent listened in a while :)
he is jewish
hes been married to his husband for 7 years
they have an adopted son
he has a niece named janice
and a dog named aubergine
he didnt age for an unspecific number of years (around a century) but recently has begun to age again
he was a boy scout and maybe a bit of a gay thing with his best friend earl harlan who still has feelings for cecil even if cecil is oblivious
he has a cat!
hes totally normal and not at all different from any other cat you may know. as normal as any cat from night vale can be
he has really prominent mommy issues
like as in, she used to literally hide from cecil for days and then she died when he was a young adult and his older sister abby raised him and it put a strain on their relationship where abby resented cecil for needing to be raised and cecil resented her for not being their mother (theyre also doing better now)
theres a sorta other world called ‘desert bluffs’ where cecils evil doppelganger named kevin works and they used to fucking HATE each other but more recently, things have mellowed. kinda. well atleast on kevins side i think
cecil never knew his father but its starting to seem like his dad is a tree..?
he has a fear of mirrors and doesnt know what he looks like or how old he is because his mother told him ‘someday you will die cecil. and it will involve a mirror’ normal!
he smokes weed and plays VR
#space.txt#wtnv#cc#cecilsweep#please feel free to add on#welcome to night vale#it breaks my heart to see people not know cecil like this#listen to wtnv.#do it#1k#2k#3k#4k#5k#10k
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doing so well so fine then bam i remember jjba is a thing
#help me im rewatching sdc now and im slready like a third in its been four days i need to do homework#but i csnt just stop at sdc bc tjat would be too sad i need to watch diu after to be less sad#but then diu also makes me sad bc i remember that it takes place after sdc and then ofcourse golden wind also makes me aad BECAUSE SO MANY#THINGS HAPPEN AND I CANT JUST STOP THERE B#BECAHDE FUGO AND I NEED TO REREAD PHF BUT PHF ALSO MAKES ME SAD AND UNABLR TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHIJG ELSE#and i csnt not think about anythijg else bc theres too much stuff that needs to be thougjt over and hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#and then of course we dont even talk about stone ocean bc the ending is sudfihsiahdkfhskfkfkshakfkfgnglkjdkfhs#delusional behaviour at normal hours of the day#i have an econ midterm in 12 hours i havent really done much for..... but on the other hand im neck deep in jjba again agaij again again ag#ain agaij again wow its amazing how#this series i started back in 2020 to cope with the pandemic anxiety is now a coping mechanism for university anxiety#i dont know anyone who also knows jjba bc modt ppl get really iffy eith the art snd honestly yes i was skeptical st first too but#its so grabs your brain holds in chokehold refuses to let go makes you sad and excited and happy ajd miserablr#ineed to sleep#rambling about stuff#i listen to crazy noisy bizarre town on loop when im unable to process rhe fact that im a living breathing human
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Can you write some scar fluff/comfort? As in kissing slashers scars (And trying to not get stabbed /hj) or vise versa? Maybe with Jason, Micheal, Brahms, and Thomas? (Feel free to change them up)
Kissing their scars (Jason, Brahms, Thomas and Michael)
and the days writing begins! hoping to get a lot done, even if a lot of it wont be posted today to avoid spam- wooo!! notes: reader is gn, you kiss their scars, michaels part is admittedly short mostly due to the admin still not totally used to writing for him yet- havent quite felt ive got his personality down cws: healed injuries, nothing intense but i like to be safe than sorry
JASON
he has more than his fair share of scars, and honestly? hes not all that worried about them, hes not ashamed of them- he takes them as a sign that hes been doing well with protecting his space as well as you
still open to you kissing them, theres lots to choose from.... hes got them on his hands, his back, shoulders, youre sure if you look there would be a scar somewhere
the moment is so tender that he may shutter a little with some emotion, being slightly more emotive than he normally is
take his hand and press his scarred knuckles to your mouth for a gentle kiss and hes going to be melting in your grasp
its not much different than the kisses you press onto his mask but the intention feels different- if that makes sense.. hes bad at describing things...
BRAHMS
does not like his scars at all- he thinks they look unsightly and they feel uncomfortable against his skin thats not scarred over
covers most of them with his mask and clothing, but you can see some splotches here and there
he... doesnt quite know how to feel about it when you kiss them, but hes not going to deny himself the extra attention and affection that youve giving him
with time he may grow to accept them; whether or not he stops covering them up is a totally different thing, though...
one thing is still the same, the second you give him some extra loving hes going to expect that to be the new normal- surely you wont mind cuddling into him while trailing kisses up and down his body where his scars reside!
MICHAEL
similar to jason, he doesnt mind his scars all that much... in fact he doesnt care about them at all, and you probably wouldnt have known he had them if you didnt see him without his usual coveralls on
shows no visible reaction to you lightly pressing kisses to the scars he lets you get close enough- usually reserved to the ones on his hands hes gotten from minor burns or nicks
does not seek affection, but its a good sign that hes not pulling away or otherwise getting you to stop... because if he truly wasnt interested in it he wouldnt indulge you
doesnt quite understand the sentiment behind kissing his (now healed) wounds but you do you
THOMAS
you make him feel better about his looks, youre always uplifting him so you kissing along his face- especially concentrating it around where his nose once was- makes him feel.. nice
it does come as a little surprise at first, though, not that he thinks youre revolted or not fully willing to show your devotion and love for him... its more so the act never crossed his mind until you did it
youre cupping his head in your hands, fingers lightly tangled in his hair... perhaps even massaging his scalp as you lean in for another kiss
truly he is in heaven as you give him all of your love, youve never seen someone look at you with so much love in their eyes... much less look at you like that
it does make him more willing to take his masks off around you, now fully reassured that you dont mind his appearance at all and that you like the face he was given
#jason vorhees x reader#jason vorhees imagine#jason voorhees x reader#jason x reader#jason voorhees imagine#brahms heelshire x reader#brahms imagine#brahms heelshire imagine#brahms x reader#michael myers x you#michael myers imagine#michael myers x reader#thomas hewitt x you#thomas hewitt x reader#thomas hewitt imagine#slasher x reader#slasher x you#slasher imagine#slashers x reader#slashers x you#slashers imagine#canon x reader#canon x you#x reader
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Yandere batfam with a sick reader?
Yes but sick reader who is still defiant because hello, they kidnapped you?????
Reader is just glaring at them with tired eyes and a red nose as they once again tuck her under the covers, Dick is highly worried as he frets over you like a mama hen because he did have a heart attack when he caught you standing in front of your open window, where "harsh" gusts of cold air were "attacking your fragile form", so of course, he had to drag you in and wrap his arms around you, rub his cheek against you because he NEEDS to warm you immediately, lest you die of hypothermia.
Yes, Dick overreacts. And yes, Damian will accompany his brother in his delusions, or well, take any chance he gets to scold you.
"You should be in bed, Y/n." Damian said sternly, his eyes narrowed because how dare you worry his favourite brother like this. "Didn't Dick tell you to rest? Are you that incapable of following simple commands?"
You narrowed your eyes back at him, opening your mouth to say something mean but got cut off by your own coughing fit, making Dick rush to help you drink some water, rubbing your back along it. Your throat felt scractchy, and it hurt to speak, but you still wanted to convey your feelings so-
You flipped him off. For a nano second, because Dick immediately grabbed your hand and tucked it back under the covers while Damian's eyes widened at you disrespect, but before he could make any more gremlin noises, but Bruce walked in and Damian knew better than to complain to him about you when youre already sick, cause Bruce wouldve still favoured you.
"Y/n? How do you feel now?" Bruce asked, his voice gentle as he walked closer to where Dick was throwing away your mountain of tissues.
"Im fine. I wanna go out-" "No." "And why not?" "Because youre sick." "You may be Batman, but youre not a doctor!" "I am your father though."
No, youre not. You wanted to say, but knew that would only piss him off and you need to be on his good side if you want Dick and the others to be off your back so that you can escape.
"Whats her temperature?" Bruce asked Dick, who put a thermometer in your mouth quickly. Dick sighed as he told Bruce how you were out of bed and standing in your balcony in the cold just moments ago.
Bruce placed a palm over your forehead, and you tried to move away but there wasnt really any space or energy for you to do that. Bruce's eyes shifted the slightest bit at your burning forehead. "Why do you insist on getting out of bed and sleeping on the floor? Ive already had to pick you up 3 times in the past 2 days."
You pulled out the thermometer and glared at him. "Im fine. Its just sniffles." Bruce's lip quirked a little. You looked absolutely adorable in your delirious state, like an angry kitten.
"I dont think its just sniffles this time. And-" Bruce pulled the thermometer from your hands that you were hiding under the covers. "-dont hide the thermometer from me." His eyes scanned it and the twitch in his brow was enough for Dick to know that the number was too high.
Bruce then eyed the cough syrup next to your side table- its still full.
"Why havent you been taking your medicine?"
"Im not sick-"
"White paint has more color than you do right now. So why havent you been taking the medicine?" Bruce asked and even though he was a little annoyed, he had enough practice dealing with the other kid's rebellious phases to have the patience of a saint.
You shrugged. "How do I know its just cough syrup and not a sedative?" "It is a sedative too. Its supposed to make you sleepy." "Well, I dont wanna sleep and let my guard down in a house full of 5 strange men." You obviously never counted Alfred- hes the only normal one here- except for the part that he wont call the cops for you, but oh well.
Bruce just casted a look to Dick and before you knew it, Dick was pinching your nostrils close and titling your head up while Bruce grabbed the syrup and poured some in your mouth before clamping his hand over it. You struggled to break free, but you were obviously no match to them. Still, tears of frustration pricked your eyes as you looked at them in betrayal and hatred.
"Drink this and dont argue with me, please." Bruce said- well, he genuinely requested at this point.
You didnt have much of a choice other than swallowing it.
With a defiant glare, you begin closing your eyes as your body gave into the effects of the drug, the last thing that you felt were Bruce kissing your forehead while Dick pecked your cheek.
Jason finally decides to drop by the Wayne manor, only to be greeted with the sight of reader lying on the kitchen floor. His heart stopped for a moment- you werent breathing-
"Y/n!" He rushed to your side, only to be smacked in the face by you.
"Shush. Dont be too loud." Your voice sounded like sandpaper against rocks.
Jason huffed. "Well, sorry for freaking out. I thought you were dead-"
"From a cough? Im not weak."
"Yeah? So, what exactly are you doing on the cold floor in the middle of the night?"
"..."
"Well?"
"What? So I cant even take a nap in this house? Jesus Christ, am I allowed to have any autonomy here?"
"Y/n." Jason called, clearly unamused by your sarcasm.
"Fine. I may have fallen and then didnt have the energy to get up, so im just catching my breath here."
"Why are you even out of bed?"
"I was hungry and Im not gonna drink another spoon of Alfred's bland soup again." Alfred made it bland on purpose so that your throat wouldnt be irritated.
"Please stop wasting whats left of your voice on complaints of the soup that you cant even taste." Jason chuckled as he picked you up, only for you to push at his chest weakly.
"I dont need your help. I can walk on my own."
Jason quirked a brow. "If you can make it to the front door without fainting or throwing up, I'll help you escape." You stared at the front door- it wasnt too far, but judging by the fact that its even hard for you to breathe properly and that youve fainted way too many times by just standing for more than a couple of minutes.
But youre stubborn. With great effort, you pushed yourself off Jason and used the kitchen island to pull yourself up. Jason decided to walk in front of you and stand near the kitchen exit because he really wanted to see your struggling face.
You took a trembling step, then another, one hand still using the support of the island until it ended and you were only a couple of feet away from Jason. At this point, you were already out of breath and when you took another step, your legs gave out and the room began spinning.
Luckily, Jason was quick to react. "Alright, just place your arm around mine- or just fall on me, that works too." He teased when you couldnt hold your body weight.
You slumped in his arms. "Just take me to my room." You huffed.
"Alright." Jason lifted your legs up and carried you back up the stairs. "You know you'd get better a lot faster if you just stayed in bed and took your medicine on time. Wouldnt that make your chances of escaping the manor better?"
You stared at him blankly. "Wow. The world must be ending for Jason Todd to be making logical suggestions."
Jason rolled his eyes as he tucked you in bed. "Im just saying, if you get better faster, you'll get to try running from us quicker too."
How do you explain to him that you just dont want to comply to them, even when they're helping you. How do you explain that you dont wanna listen to them because the soft pitiful, patronising look they get in their eyes when they look at you makes you wanna scream and carve your skin out. These are strangers, rich men who just kidnapped you to be a part of their family. No one is that kind. And nothing ever comes for free. Nothing.
"Do you need something? Food, perhaps?" Jason asked. You shook your head. "No, I think Im gonna throw up."
"Oh shit." Jason was hauling his ass out of the room t get you a bucket, only to return with a backpack.
You barely held your puke as you asked. "Wait- whose is this?"
"I dont know!? Damian's?!"
You grinned. "Oh, perfect." You proceeded to throw up into Damian's bag. That little shit just got on your nerves.
BONUS:
"I know you have attachment issues with your blanket but its been a couple of days now and you need to let me wash it." Dick said, trying to tug it out of your grip.
You sniffled and glared. "Im not a child who needs their blankie, Dick. Im just too cold without it and no other blanket can warm me up the same way it does."
"Give the blankie, Y/n." Dick said seriously.
"Its not a blankie." You retorted, but before you could react, Tim suddenly grabbed you while Dick ripped away the blanket. And even though he immediately replaces it with a clean blanket, you still let out a gut wrenching cry
"You'll have it back tomorrow-" Tim starts saying, only for you to sneeze directly in his face, making him freeze.
"And that's why we use tissues." Dick says, wiping both your nose and Tim's face with tissues, while you're not making any effort to suppress the grin that comes on your lips.
#yandere batfamily#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfam#yandere bruce wayne#yandere jason todd x reader#yandere jason todd#yandere dick grayson#yandere damian wayne#yandere tim drake
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