#and yelling for god to help them
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Tornado
Can god really abandon you if he was never really real? I think they come in the form of other people breathing life into superstition an old passage will cross your mind a prayer you still know every word of when someone bitter throws god at your face a proof of his love and it rumbles in your mind it doesn't matter anyways you remind yourself as you keep walking as though her hatred could have been undone "god hates you! he hates you!" Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who…. what does it matter? you shake your head of the thought you don't need a god to be loved or unloved by for you must be against his rules, you must be a curse from Lucifer himself- neither of them are real, you remind yourself again and gain over and over god isn't real he never was for why would he do this to you? why would he give us cancer? why would he test our love our devotion? if I don't give god every ounce of my all to prove myself he would know if i don't give everyone my all all the time because i have it am I a bad friend? god was just an imaginary friend angels in the waitingroom an exciting ghost story to shake from excitement that we could see them people saw them god in the form of strangers looking out for you it wasn't god and it was just a stranger who wanted you to be alright is that so hard to believe anymore?
it makes me wonder how people see someone like me I'm gay, I cuss, I fuck, and i make bad decisions I dress in black and have long hair I tell everyone I meet I love my wife No one told me god hated me personally I just see it around for what is so wrong to love? the god i made didn't hate me it was just never there when I was scared I only hoped and prayed that i would be kept safe and to tell my dead relatives I loved them i thought they'd be sad if i didn't naming every one every night I was scared And no one was going to save me I could just scream for a god that will never hear me And yet people call him all mighty All powerful All knowing They go through misfortune after misfortune pain after pain death and hurt after death and hurt he is simply testing them it's all a part of his plan they think to themselves to keep it together They have that comfort I suppose I wish I still had it because it's like being wrapped in a blanket that's just a little too short or just not insulating you are alone and you are wrapped up you are safe for the moment but you don't feel safe and you just feel cold
#I saw a video of someone in a car going through a tornado#and they started praying#and yelling for god to help them#I've got nothing against those who are religious#like genuinely it brings you comfort and if you like. preach of a god who loves us#all of us regardless#whatever#thats fine#but I am the only one at the end of the day that can save me#or choose to be saved#idk i guess just#religion is a bittersweet memory I can never return to#never ever#wandering poem#poetry#Leviathan writes#ex christian#vent
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Thinking about the weird camaraderie that exists between demons but not angels in GO.
Have we ever seen two angels who are actually friends? Or even friendly to one another? We have met angels with a capacity to be friendly in general, but I think the closest we've come to two angels actually getting along would be Gabriel making a point to laugh at Sandalphon's terrible "can't have a war without War" line in S1.
Most scenes between the angels actually seem to have an undercurrent of absolute hostility. Teeth-clenched teamwork. No wonder it took them so long to notice that Aziraphale wasn't on the same page as the rest of them! The rest of them are barely on the same page as one another, either! When Gabriel goes against the majority vote, no one bats an eye at demoting him and wiping his memory. Michael and Uriel immediately begin vying for his job. The only times we've seen angels team up is when they're working together to bully someone else, like when they're trying to intimidate Aziraphale in S1 or going to the aftermath of the bookshop raid in S2.
Saraqael's overall neutrality towards Muriel is the closest we get to two angels in Heaven getting along, and it's more a lack of hostility than any kind of friendliness. At least until Gabriel loses his memories and Muriel shows up to spy on Aziraphale, and Aziraphale decides to be kind to both of them.
Demons, on the other hand, actually seem to form alliances and even friendships among one another. Hastur and Ligur are awful, but Hastur seems genuinely distraught over Ligur's death, not just fearful of suffering the same fate. Shax and Furfur conspire together and even though the 1940's investigation into Crowley's fraternizing doesn't work out for Furfur, it's not due to any double-crossing on Shax's part. Unlike the angels, who stick almost exclusively to making threats until the Metatron decides to try dangling a carrot at the end of the season, demons actually offer rewards to other demons when trying to work together. Beelzebub offers Crowley a promotion if he can bring them Gabriel, Furfur offers to back Shax up politically if she goes for the Duke position opening, and Crowley successfully stalls Hastur in S1 by pretending everything was a test and he's going to be put in charge of a legion as a reward for passing. They're still not great at socializing, but they're significantly ahead of the angels.
Of course, it's a fact that demons are awful to one another (Eric's treatment is really bad, they throw that random demon into holy water just to test it, "it'd be a funny world if demons went around trusting one another", etc) but they still seem more capable of forming friendships than the angels do.
I think that's because Hell cramps and crowds everyone together to try and increase their suffering and hostility, whereas Heaven isolates angels to decrease the odds of questioning or rebellion. Hell's methods are unpleasant, but it still ends up putting demons together, and some of those demons inevitably forge alliances and make friendships. Because as Crowley and Beelzebub demonstrate, demons are still social creatures with the capacity for love and affection, even if it's strongly discouraged and buried under nine million layers of trauma and a cultural mandate against kindness.
Angels are the same, but isolation makes is harder to form connections than overcrowding. Muriel and Jimbriel are both so eager to make friends, but Muriel's spent the past millennia shut in an empty office, and Gabriel has been distanced from his peers both through his position and also through Heaven's culture of fear and surveillance. He only breaks away from it when he finds something that's stronger than "choosing sides" (stronger than the fear of being rejected by Heaven and Falling, in fact strong enough that Falling seems worth it if he gets to be with someone he loves). Both Muriel and Gabriel are only able to start forming connections when they're away from Heaven.
I just think it's interesting that demons, despite being supposedly devoid of love, have an advantage in forming relationships compared to angels. Angels are supposed to love, but have far fewer opportunities to actually do so. Demons aren't supposed to love, but they make connections anyway.
#good omens#ineffable bureaucracy#both angels and demons are suckers for a bit of kindness too#even if they pretend otherwise and even if there are exceptions to the rule#like yeah you're probably not gonna win over the likes of hastur or michael with a nicety#but according to word of god furfur would be highly susceptible to a kind word#and well we see how it is with muriel and jim#i think this is why shax also weirdly toes the line between getting crowley destroyed and being almost-friends with him#that's just how it works in hell when you don't actually despise somebody#you can't be nice to them but you're still also kind of helpful and non-hostile a lot#don't let it interfere with your goals but sure deliver their mail and get their help with your boiler issues why not#maggie took the wrong approach to confronting the demons#if she'd been nice instead of telling them off they wouldn't have known how to handle it i bet#they're USED to being mocked and yelled at#should have given them jim's tray of canapes and offered them tea and stuff#not that I expect anyone to intuit that under the circumstances just that it might have actually held them off a lot longer#bunch of demons sitting outside of a bookshop passing around a tray of tiny little dinners and listening to records playing from inside
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jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.
even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.
so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.
and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.
#necrotic festerings#damitim#timdami#tim drake x damian wayne#damian wayne x tim drake#also possibly a hint of dicktim at the beginning there#i have yelled at my partner about them nonstop#so i had to put the thoughts into a tumblr post to give them peace.#i clearly favor tim in my ships we don't need to talk about it#tim drake is so weird he makes everyone else weird about him by proxy.#like sir contain that aura it's making everyone mentally ill.#i'm not a hamilton girlie at all which is why it makes me so mad Wait For It is SUCH good song for damian#like that song just IS his complex over tim#whether canon or shipping#this pulls from a variety of canon btw#like yeah mostly pre-flashpoint#but i do think the fact that in current comics canon tim keeps defaulting back to being robin#must make damian SO mentally unwell#like oh that does not help your jealousy complex does it.#and the thoughts of tim understanding the elite in ways damian doesn't are inspired by the boy wonder (2024)#which GOD is the first modern comic to fucking understand how tim and damian actually feel about each other#in a way that isn't either cartoonishly evil or makes them make up too easily#ugh. juni ba your mind.#anyway the complex damian has over tim. is fucking wild.#bc like everyone uses it to woobify poor tim for being attacked by big mean damian#which first of all stop taking panels out of context#second of all#dude no WONDER damian has a complex. i'd hate tim's ass too!!!#when i was reading batman & robin (2009) and dick casually says he can still call tim when damian acts out#what kind of threat IS that dick. sir.
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ok so: the umbrella academy except it’s about the hargreeves siblings in 40 years when five is a very, very old man but really in his early 50’s while the rest of the siblings are senior citizens whom five has to take care of against his will
someone please read the tags and yap about this with me. thank you
#that sounds like five’s hell to me#but would it not be funny#picture this: luther just tried to hit diego over the head with his walker and five had to blink between them to stop it#and allison rumored him into letting them play bingo for another hour#viktor listens to classical music in his room and keeps to himself#and sparrow ben is here (because i said so) and he’s grumpy as all hell#him and five have many stare downs.#five’s like ‘‘eat your soup old man’’ and ben’s like ‘‘old man? what are you now 98?’’#and five slams his fists on the table and yells ‘‘you think i wanna be taking care of you assholes?’’#klaus got back into eyeliner so he walks around looking like an overgrown emo and five has to help him take it off before bed every night#and every single day five tells him ‘‘if i have to help you take this shit off tomorrow i’m confiscating it’’#but he never does because klaus keeps hiding it#sorry please someone talk with me about this. it’s funny because i said so#this was a random thought but now i can’t stop thinking about this. oh my god#laur says stuff#laur rambles#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#five hargreeves#hargreeves siblings#tua s4#number five#tua season 4#klaus hargreeves#allison hargreeves#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#ben hargeeeves#viktor hargreeves
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still so fucking emotional abt how q!forever, functionally unable to control his actions under the influence of the happydrugs still manages to get out and some semblance of control that he wants to show his extremely personal and paranoia-inducing area of fake richas home to q!philza....
#qsmp vodblog#qsmp lb#tsu liveblogs#qsmp 9/11/23#philever#it YELLS to me on an emotional connection level for them + a level of he knows that if someone can figure out something to help him#phil would be one of them.....#god
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i dont care much about kudos and hits and stuff but when the omegaverse fic in the tag has more kudos than you do its a little like ohhhhhh right i dont respect any of you people
#it HAS also been punished much longer but.#that author is my enemy so severely and idc anymore#not for the omegaverse exactly or exclusively but that doesnt help. i have to fight them and win.#kora.txt#like its less oh i feel so bad about my writing :(#and more my god. how could we let this happen#old man yells at cloud voice Back in my day that tag had 18 fics. and we LIKED it that way
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When Al Haitham dreams, it's in shades of sandy blonde and red, metallic gold and feather-blue. His nightmares are colored much the same.
Kaveh leisurely strolls ahead of him, shoes leaving deep treads in the soft desert sand. He keeps a careful distance, arms length, and in return Al Haitham keeps an eye on him, the other man's back dead center in his sights.
He curses the sand in his boots and the long line of footprints he steps into, already the exact shape of the soles of his shoes.
They aren't lost. Al Haitham knows where they are. They've been here before. They are still here.
Kaveh doesn't watch their feet. His head is constantly tipped back with his eyes on the stars and their constellations (of which Al Haitham only knows two, Vultur Volans and Paradisaea). He'll walk right into a cactus like that. Al Haitham yells ahead for him to watch where he's going.
Kaveh reaches up to touch the side of his head in a strange motion, but otherwise there's no acknowledgement. They press on into the dark of night.
Something squelches beneath Al Haitham's boot.
It stops him short, pulls his attention like a magnet and as much as he wants to, he can't ignore it. He doesn't want to lose any more ground. But something won't let him move on. Al Haitham watches as red seeps into the golden sand, spills beyond the border of his bootprint until he slides his foot aside.
It's an ear.
It's a human ear, and there's a heavy earring attached, metallic gold, gems red and green, a familiar shape, a familiar shade-
Al Haitham opens his mouth to yell. Chokes. Swallows the lump in his throat as he quickly restarts his pace. Tries again.
"Hey!"
Another squelch under a hurried footstep. He doesn't stop to look. Al Haitham is pretty sure he knows what it is.
"Kaveh, hey!"
The path becomes littered, little slices and small pieces, fingertips and knuckles, Kaveh's arms once held casually behind his back now strewn along the sands. Every time Al Haitham extends his hand to him, reality warps and bends like the twisted image in a broken mirror, lines mismatched and edges jagged. Kaveh flits just beyond his grasp, fleeting fae, no longer able to hear him or to reach out to him. Al Haitham can only grit his teeth and follow.
His right foot marches forward. His left follows. His right again. His left suddenly doesn't follow, and Al Haitham is thrown off balance and pitches forward, swinging his arms outward to land on his palms and keep his face off the ground, because he's been in the desert enough times to know what a foot suddenly being stuck can mean.
Quicksand.
Al Haitham curses and swears in just about every language he knows as he tries to spread his weight as evenly as possible, stay afloat at the top of it because if he sinks, he knows he'll be done for, and shit, Kaveh.
His neck cranes uncomfortably in his search, Kaveh had only been a few feet in front of him, he can't be sunk much further, and he's in the desert much more often than Al Haitham anyway, he'll be familiar with what to do-
Kaveh stands in front of him, empty sleeves fluttering loose. Still just out of his grasp, still watching the stars. The quicksand is already up to his calves.
"Say, Al Haitham..." It's the first he's spoken this whole time. His voice resonates somewhere deeply nostalgic in Al Haitham's chest, produces a ripple that momentarily stuns his heart.
Kaveh is sinking.
Al Haitham stretches out on his belly as far as he's able, it's quickly up to his knees, Kaveh isn't even trying to redistribute his weight or pull himself out, it's at his thighs, Al Haitham sucks in a breath and yells for him, his hips, yells louder, his waist, Al Haitham's trembling fingertips can almost reach, his chest, Kaveh drops level with him, quicksand about his neck like a noose.
Kaveh's head tips back, back, impossibly far back, until it hangs, angle awkward, and he's looking right past Al Haitham with his tired smile and gouged, blinded sockets full of starlight.
"Do you believe in karma?"
The quicksand swallows him entirely and Al Haitham dives, shoves his arms deep and pushes off with the one foot he'd had left on safe ground, because he can't, he can't, it's not the same without Kaveh, not anymore, he needs him, no one else keeps him sharp, no one else challenges him like Kaveh, if he can just grab him, if he can just pull him back up-
Al Haitham thrashes, against the sands, against gravity, against the hardwood of his bedroom floor. Clumsily scrubs the back of his hand across his face to rub the grit of quicksand and sleep out of his eyes.
Sometimes he thinks he preferred it when the Akasha was still harvesting his dreams.
He pops his head out from under his weighted blanket and lays where he'd fallen out of bed for a moment, blinking blearily against the lamplight shining from his desk in the corner. Deep breaths. His consciousness shifts along the blurred line of nightmare and reality, crosses over the slow transition into wakeful awareness.
He's home, Kaveh is home. It's dark out. The house is dead silent.
He's just going to go check, he tells himself as he peels himself out of his sweat-soaked shirt and roots around for a replacement. He's already losing memories of his nightmare, the details spilling away from him like wet ink, but he knows he needs to see Kaveh. It'll feel better to do something, anything, than try to go straight back to sleep.
He's quiet when he slips out of his bedroom door, because they both keep late hours but their bedrooms are right next to each other, and Al Haitham will never hear the end of it if he wakes his roommate up.
Lights off, door shut. Nothing conclusive. He moves out to the main room.
Kaveh sits on one of those ridiculous sofas he'd ordered three of for some reason, back to him as he tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. A mostly-empty wine bottle stands tall on the table, next to the cobbled-together remains of an architectural model that's been picked and fussed over for four days straight now.
"Kaveh? What are you doing?"
This earns him an exaggerated startle, but Kaveh doesn't turn to look at him, preoccupied with whatever new sketch or blueprint he probably has in his hands. "Ohhh, nothing," he slurs cheerfully. "Just working. Just thinking."
Kaveh has always been the world's chattiest drinker. Al Haitham waits for the rest of it.
"Say, I think...I think I asked you this years ago, back then, but you never answered me." Al Haitham feels all the blood drain from his face in ominous familiarity, drip cold down the length of his spine. Kaveh sinks into the couch until he can tip his head over the back of it, looking up at him with a tired smile and exhausted eyes.
"Do you believe in karma?"
#genshin impact#haikaveh#al haitham#kaveh#kavehtham#these two have had me chewing concrete lately god#3.6 got me frothing at the mouth#something about al haitham trying to save kaveh from himself and his own guilt complex and self-sabotage wheeee my heart#and he's normally so self-assured but he fucked it up spectacularly the first go around- good job baby-#and now it's years later he's trying again but it's something he's barely chipping away at not to mention Kaveh not wanting his help lol#and so some of Al Haitham's nightmare is objective fact and some of it is his own subjective pov#Kaveh loses his arms and ears bc al haitham is frustrated that he won't hear him out or reach out for help#and he keeps his eyes up and eventually blinds himself bc al haitham thinks of him as too idealistic and blind to reality#and kaveh does all this to himself bc when you ask al haitham about his troubles he talks about people who cause trouble for themselves#kaveh pondering the concept of karma in relation to his bad luck and misery and guilt about his father's death in the quicksand *fans self*#al haitham starting to get just a little nervous that maybe he really he can't do anything about this#or that one day it'll be too little late ough. love when I can whump character by whumping the other.#two for one special buy one get one two birds stoned at once type of deal#i have a Vision about them and their stupid dumbass relationship dynamic that I need to yell about later but for now: this#written while listening to A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers which hilariously was introduced to me as a pla Emmet song#'but here was a man mourning tomorrow; he tried to finally drown in his sorrow'#'oh he could not break surface tension; he looked in the wrong place for redemption'#'don't look at me with those eyes; I tried to unheave the ties; turn back the tide that drew him in'#'but he couldn't be saved'#'a sadness runs through him'#extremely kaveh and haikaveh song for me ough#my fics#gore#body horror#I mean it's pretty unrealistic but still just in case
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JoJo Siwa doesn’t deserve all the hate (and homophobia) she’s getting for her style and music; but she does deserve scrutiny for defending Colleen Ballinger and being both active and complicit in abuse that happened on her TV show. Like the girl has been under the public eye in unhealthy environments all her life; cut her some slack — not too much; she’s still a responsible adult — but if you’re going to dogpile her, then at least dogpile her for the right reasons. Jesus Fucking Christ.
#jojo siwa#discourse#Her comment sections are VILE#I actually don’t hate her songs. They’re basically early-2000s new old stock and I like early 2000s music#Is she trying too hard to look like an “adult?” Yes. But that’s understandable.#What isn’t understandable is screaming at children for no fucking reason#and JoJo not helping at all when a girl was hemorrhaging out her belly button#when JoJo’s mother told the girl to “put a pad on it”#I don’t care how afraid you are of your parents; you END that shit the second you see it#I was raised in a cult and I actively sabotaged my parents’ preaching work on multiple occasions#I didn’t know if I’d get kicked out if they found out I did that; the only reason I still have a relationship with them#is because they never found out about my later sabotage#Dad preached to a waitress dangling a cure for her sons’ disorder in front of her nose as incentive to join and gave her literature#So I went to the restaurant with him and insisted I pay for the tip.#I gave her eight dollars and a sticky note with a bunch of keywords about the cult’s abuses to look up#The next time I went there#she said didn’t understand the sticky note and asked me while he was gone what I meant#I hate talking to people especially when I’m under pressure because I trip over my words even when I’m NOT anxious#But her kids’ lives being free of a cult meant more to me than avoiding a momentary discomfort so I gave a quick rundown#She thanked me and heeded my warning basically playing along with me and not saying anything to my dad about it#I was 20; JoJo was about 19 when her show was going on#She had no excuse for allowing her mom to do that.#At the very least she could have said “Oh god I’m so sorry she said that. Please don’t hurt yourself for my show; go to the hospital.”#But no. She didn’t do that. In fact she screamed at children and joked that if they were crying then it was a good show.#Bitch come here and do that in front of me. I double dog dare you. I may only be 5’5” but I fight dirty and I’m angrier than you#Sorry. I guess I do hate her… for THAT specifically.#Like yeah I’ve fucked up with the kids I help and yelled when I didn’t have to but I HATED doing it and tried to do better later#Why someone would SCREAM at kids on purpose for long periods of time for no reason is beyond me
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Do you have any fucked up babscass headcanons? This is vaguely for the ask game but I’m curious. I’ve also had a vision of dick being drawn into their dubiously consensual mommy kink thing, probably unwillingly. I just love the idea of babs being her teacher for everything normal, like yes on some level it is grooming but cass knows everyone’s intentions automatically, could babs really make her do anything she didn’t want to do?
for the ask game!
GOD YES. i love BabsCass. just. so dearly. they're so fucked up. and adding Dick to the mix is *also* so so fun. the concepts of how consent plays into it all when Cass knows everyone's intentions and feelings (sometimes before they themselves do) but Babs still holding clear power over Cass and how vulnerable Cass is emotionally it's just. good soup i tell you.
so, i think it's fun, if in a way, Babs has always been slightly jealous of Bruce. after becoming Oracle by means out of her control, she works with other heroes sure, but she doesn't have a protege. she watched with Dick and Bruce, how close of a bond Batman and Robin is. how Bruce got to shape and mold Dick into the hero he's become and the reverence Dick has for Bruce. there's such a nuance to that relationship, and Babs wants it for herself. the first person to carry on the Batgirl torch is Helena, something she violently disapproves of. so for her to give Batgirl to Cass, that's significant. it's both a sign of acceptance, and a sign of ownership. it's basically her way of saying to Bruce "this one's mine." and thus, their relationship reflects it. because it's easy to seak out a close bond with Cass, who's never had anyone show her love and affection with no strings. Babs' love is unconditional. and Cass wants to bury herself in it. she knows it's romantic and possibly sexual, but Babs doesn't sexualize Cass the way men do. there's no leering comments or objectification. Babs is kind and respectful, so Cass doesn't mind. she even leans into it. there's something nice in being appreciate for something other than how good of a weapon she makes. and Babs' touch is just. something Cass craves. Babs wants to respect boundaries, but Cass is practically crawling into her lap after certain rough missions, just for the companionship.
i think it's fun if the mommy kink starts with Cass. sure, Babs has been carefully guiding Cass toward being comfortable with sexual things. Cass is regularly naked around Babs with no problem, she lets Babs touch her anywhere. but it's when Babs is holding Cass that Cass talks about how she doesn't know who her mother is and she wishes she knew what having a mother felt like. and sure, Cass knows that Babs isn't entirely motherly. not when her hand is resting inside of Cass' pants at that very moment. but this is the closest thing she has. i enjoy the idea of Cass knowing that this isn't normal. sure, she doesn't fully understand relationships, but she knows mother/daughter and dating are different. but it's a two birds one stone kind of thing. she's so convinced she's not going to find enough people to love her to fill all the "roles" in her life, why not combine the two. after all, Dick and Bruce are doing it. so when Cass brings it up, Babs lets Cass call her mommy. it's a soothing thing, more than a kink thing. and it delightfully plays into Babs' hand for how she wants to groom Cass, giving her more control and trust over Cass. it's easy to get Cass to side with her instead of Bruce when she just has to stroke Cass' hair and praise her whenever she does what Babs want. Cass is so used to negative reinforcement that she'll take any kind of positive reinforcement, even if she knows it's slightly manipulative. sometimes, what matters to her the most is just that someone wants to protect and take care of her in the first place.
i love the idea of Dick getting dragged in unwillingly so much. Cass has very high standards for what a mentor/partner/mother figure should look like because of how reverently Babs treats her. and Cass is known for being critical of Bruce's methods. so when Bruce is particularly cruel to Dick, or that have a nasty argument that Cass witnesses and Bruce possibly even hits Dick, that's when Dick gets dragged in. it starts with Babs inviting him to just eat dinner and chill out with Babs and Cass in the Clocktower. then he's being invited to stay the night more and more often so he doesn't have to crash at Wayne Manor when he's in Gotham. the first time he wakes up with Cass sleeping next to him, he doesn't comment on it. he knows what it's like to be so tired you just crash on the nearest bed. it's when he notices that he's being more and more separated from Bruce, that Dick starts to notice something is off. he's never commented on what's going on between Babs and Cass bc well, he's one to talk. but now he's caught between them. Cass and Babs don't even have to talk, they just wordlessly know they're on the same page about bringing Dick into the fold. for Cass, it's genuinely to protect him. she's happy with Babs, and she wants Dick to feel happy in that way too, with someone who's not as emotionally closed off as Bruce. and Cass just wants as many close relationships as she can get. and for Babs, there is genuine attraction there. she and Dick almost flirted with dating before, and nows her chance to have him and finally beat Bruce. and as unwilling as Dick is, it's hard to say no when they're being so gentle with him. he keeps telling himself he's going to set hard boundaries and tell them no, eventually. but Babs has the manipulation down pat, and Cass is so gentle and loving, Dick just gets swept in too deep. they both know he's unwillingly, but to Cass, that's just how love works. you have to be talked into it sometimes because you don't realize you deserve it.
Babs teaching Cass about sex my *beloved*. first, it's just Cass and Babs. Babs showing Cass how she can feel good, how she can make Babs feel good. but now with Dick, they have a whole new person for Babs to see to teach Cass about sex. Dick has to be talked into it by Babs, who paints it as a learning opportunity for Cass. I just. I love throuple dynamics where one person is basically being used as a toy for the dom to tell the third person to use, and that fits them so well. Dick is just a toy, a prop basically. and Babs is guiding Cass through it, teaching her how to make Dick feel good, how to ride him. I like the idea of Babs edging both of them until she feels like Cass has "learned" enough. which is clearly just part of the kink, corrupting Cass. and they all know it, but it's an unspoken thing. even more fun if Babs gives Cass some token form of control, letting Cass control when Dick can come. and to Cass, edging is a natural part of sex, so she also tortures Dick like that, bringing him to the edge and holding him there no matter how much he begs. sometimes, Dick just watches Cass and Babs have sex and learns what they like through that. he learns Babs is a sadist, but she has to be careful with it. Cass views pain strictly as a very negative punishment and the last thing Babs wants to do is lose the trust she has built up with Cass. so she avoids pain for the longest time. it's Dick who notices Babs itching to hurt someone, so to make sure it's not Cass, Dick offers himself. and Cass watches as Babs hurts Dick, and Dick *likes* it. maybe impact play, maybe some CBT, that sort of stuff, just testing the waters of how far Babs can take it with Dick. it makes Cass curious enough to try it, both sadism and masochism. she finds it takes a lot for her to enjoy masochism, but in the right applications, it's nice. there's something about letting herself feel pain, which she was never allowed before. pain is something to be compartmentalized and worked through. so there's something nice about turning her brain off and just feeling. especially if she's being hurt while she's in Babs or Dick's arms, bc she knows she's safe. both of them have become her safe space to explore new things during sex.
eventually, Dick comes to mostly accept being part of the relationship. he realizes he's in too deep when Cass casually calls him her boyfriend in front of Bruce just to make Bruce stutter. they're all adults, so it's not something Bruce can fight too hard. and Dick does have to admit, Cass has a point. there's far less arguing and fighting in this relationship. the grooming practically works better on Dick than it did Cass, bc now he's just accepted it and is going along with everything. he starts initiating sex, with either of them separately or together, just bc he likes giving up control to them. he likes the way Cass is gentle when she's domming, taking control from him without even asking and just taking care of him. and when Babs is in control, she's a little meaner, a bit rougher, but sometimes, he needs that too. sometimes he just likes to watch the two of them, see Cass call Babs mommy while she's crying and begging for anything. it's carnal and just fascinating to watch, even if he doesn't get off to it. seeing how much they love each other and how much they love him makes his head spin, because being with Bruce was nothing like this. Bruce rarely talks about his feelings, rarely said he loved Dick. meanwhile Cass and Babs will say it about a dozen times a day. maybe it's manipulative, but they make it sound so genuine, he can't bring himself to care. and Cass is pleased Dick is finally giving him, letting himself be loved. Babs is pleased to have control of both Dick and Cass. all of them are getting something out of it so really, what's there to complain about?
#necrotic festerings#ask game#dead dove do not eat#babscass#dickbabscass#dickbabs#dickcass#batcest#this throuple is ENLIGHTENED oh my god anon.#you're so right. dick getting dragged into their fucked up relationship is so good.#but god you're also so right about it definitely being grooming but also. Cass knowing Babs intentions and going with them anyway#like she'll do anything if someone will love her right.#she knows this is fucked up but Babs has such a gentle touch and kind words.#it's so good I tell you.#like I like *really* fucked up babscass#where Babs is forcing Cass to do things and Cass doesn't see any escape bc her only other option is her father#but this version is far more realistic yk?#also HOW are there only 9 fics in the BabsCass tag on ao3.#i've failed you all. I need to go add more.#I wanna write a BabsCass Omegaverse fic where alphas are seen as borderline animals.#there was a TimCass fick with that premise and it's lived rent free.#my kingdom for dehumanized alpha!Cass.#I also think brutim could fit well into this as well#like Bruce going to Tim bc dick was taken from him#and then Cass and Babs trying to steal Tim too. good soup.#this got so long.#I had to break up the text blocks bc it got so long Tumblr yelled at me. help.
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Once again thinking about my oc who makes how to do videos that Vulcan kids like to watch, except this time I’m also thinking about “guest stars,” because you just know there’s going to be some things where you need an expert on it for
And originally I was just thinking about pleasant guest stars, and how the Human oc is unknowingly also teaching Vulcan kids how to handle their emotions because the Human is trying a lot of new things that actually scare them, or make them anxious, things like that, but they just calm themselves down on camera and continue doing them
But now I’m thinking about Jim Kirk, specifically aos Jim Kirk, guest starring before he ever became a captain, and it’s “how to ride a motorcycle,” and the whole time, this Human who is usually good at keeping a calm and pleasant disposition, just keeps turning to anxiously tell the camera “don’t do that” because Jim went straight to tricks and stuff that he shouldn’t be showing beginners
Jim Kirk is rewatching this episode as a captain, trying to avoid looking at Bones and Spock as they watch him put himself in danger without proper protective gear on
#bones is about to get his ass#god it was like 12 straight hours with those kids yesterday#they were all under the age of 10#they might have gotten me sick they kept coughing and sneezing into their hands and then grabbing me as well as touching other objects#they were all sweet kids!! they were just overstimulating and then after like. 7 hours. they had clearly overstimulated each other#so they kept getting into fights every 5 seconds#so I. I cried.#not in front of them#did not yell at them either!!#but I could not handle them anymore#had to walk away and beg another adult for help and that adult went immediately to yelling at them :(#so I had to go back to managing them#yesterday was. so stressful. but it’s not those kids fault that their parents use bbqs to just ditch them wtf#plus I had only gotten a half hour of sleep the night before so I was running on empty the entire time#but I made it through!!#(barely)#kids deserve better#seriously#anyways so I’m back to thinking about ocs who can. actually handle kids.#Star Trek#Star Trek aos#jim t kirk#jim kirk#james tiberius kirk#s’chn t’gai spock#Spock#bones#bones mccoy#leonard mccoy
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Remember
Remember when Markiplier broke Twitter because he pooped?
#i wish I had that power#instead I get yelled at for stinking up the bathroom#markiplier#that magnificent god#I'm actually stuck on the toilet rn#Send help#I ate corn#Well I ate elotes#I'm lactose intolerant and I made them with mayonnaise and parmesan cheese#I regret everything#You know the filthy frank meme “it's just taco bell what could possibly go wrong?”#That was me five minutes before I got stuck in here#operation: save op
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ideas: i didn't really think of him being underwater but they deserve to have drama by crying there too so i just think you could say something about the composition being denser than water or w/e. proteins
i'm always like good thing he didn't try to exit asap via swimming in ciao alberto But What If He Did lol. just swim Somewhere else along the coast, maybe panic about [money??] & whether somehow this ruins school for luca, whether he can get in touch w/o it being On Sight b/w him & all marcovaldos, consider just kind of trying out other places, traveling after all...fascinating considering the other povs on the issue like: now there's the paguros to sympathize w/a kid vanishing, luca however in a somewhat more novel position there, giulia's throwback to alberto being a bit perplexing lmao, kind of thinking the best massimo could do is have a prewritten letter for luca to give to alberto If Possible, conveying something like i know you didn't set my livelihood on fire on purpose but even if you did i'd want you to stay. and luca in a position to do all of "maybe give the island fun facts so someone can check if he's there" & "wait & hope alberto can/does get in touch" & "have a lot of feelings"....not even the context of what this drawing is about necessarily, just tacking it on here anyways. ahead of time i went "heh now i Know they're gonna have it get little Real here b/c it's really about alberto wanting the security of feeling he can 'earn' a sustained relationship" then the short cleared & i was lying completely dead on the pavement
#luca 2021#pixar luca#alberto scorfano#love when like ''yeah ofc you Could guess approx what would happen; b/c of The Themes & things following them''#but then like of course it still manages to Surprise. feels apt when like ppl doing some savvy media analysis can Guess along w/the film#like oh we're gonna fight here we might have our secret revealed here yep. then get caught off guard by alberto but 110% surprised by luca#even as ofc it all makes sense & is cohesive w/those Themes that have been unfolding; not just breaking w/the material to Surprise us#but still unpredictable. the whole movie being so vignettey (god bless. i live) allowing for a lot of that too like just Stuff Can Happen#someone can guess alberto's dad is not in the picture really but you could think oh he's been killed by humans. No lol...#or massimo lost an arm to sea monsters. but no. oh my god & this is how i realize i didn't draw alberto's arm scar hang on lol#okay there it is. here we go gays (me turning in for some rest at 8:15 am)#oh i read this picture book in the internet archive abt like A Parent Expressing Unconditional Love via conversation w/a child. hang on#''even if i did something awful'' by barbara shook hazen; i did think of it here. let me obtain a quote for effect...#[but what if i did something really truly awful?] [like what?] [like playing ball in the living room after you told me not to & breaking#the vase daddy gave you for your birthday even if i didn't mean to & it was an accident? would you still love me then?]#[i love you so much i'd love you if you Did mean to & it wasn't an accident. / but i might also be mad & yell things like 'i've told you a#thousand times!' & 'this is the last straw!' & 'i've had it with your disobeying!' & send you to your room with no dessert... / ...& cry a#little & pick up the pieces.] [i'll help.] [but i still love you no matter what; no matter how mad; no matter how awful. & i always will.]#so long as it's commitment to Actual support which; massimo already On That even before realizing like oh bereft And you're of the sea.....
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holy shit this phobia is going to ruin my life
#camera talks#/overdramatic cuz im not going to work w/ horses but also not entirely overdramatic bc my sibling works w/ horses and i live w/ them#anyway#the horses are out and i was going to help my mom outside for chores but as soon as i saw the horses i freaked out. yelled and ran off#then got totally frozen in place while crying#like. they were literally tied down so they couldnt even get me if they wanted to. they werent even close to me#but my brain does Not care about that#it hurts my brain to be so afraid of something that has done nothing to me but i refuse to see reason#and i have super easy exposure therapy if i wanted. i literally live with 3 of them#but again. my brain does Not care#god. i hate phobias so much#i dont think this is normal fear of horses. this is so so irrational and i have such bad responses to them like. 99% sure its a phobia#anyways. holing up in my room now. still fucking shaking this is stupid
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god I forgot how insufferable people could get about politics on here
#rambumbles#saw a post complaining about how people were 'threatening mass suicide instead of putting together support systems' and just. ok.#you see people's reaction to a Fascist. who has promised to Eliminate People Like Them. coming into power.#and you think it's wrong or immoral to react with hopelessness? with wanting to Die???#like you know I think this is why we need those support systems in the first place. and we do have them! people were sharing them!#trying to Help people instead of saying 'oh how dare you want to kill yourself instead of immediately jumping into activist work'#let people mourn for fuck's sake. am I insane for thinking this. for not wanting to judge the moral purity of the suicidal.#god. yeah. you know what yeah I think more leftist infighting should solve it. this time it'll work for sure right.#sorry I get frustrated enough with this stuff already but that one post was my last straw I needed to Yell.#this is my favorite place to post but honeslty I might have to distance myself a bit. everything has been a bit much recently.
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Depression is all fun and games until your skipping school even though you’re weeks behind because you quite literally can’t get out of bed
#god I hate it here#not to mention you mother and father#SEEING this#simply decides to ignore you like your Alr dead#like damn okay 💀💀 fuck you too ig 💀💀#I don’t know how to fix this#I’m literally gonna be held back or taken to court bc I’ve missed so many days#but oh well the sillies r keeping me alive#Also I told myself I wouldn’t vent online anymore but I honestly don’t care anymore 😭#it’s so bad though#I tried to do some of my homework last night and ended up throwing up from the stress#and it’s not like my friends just forgot about me they are GOOD friends I’ve just been pushing them away; telling them I’m just sick etc.#it’s my fault so I’m not mad at them for not knowing what to do. The closest ones try to call me#sometimes I answer and we talk. sometimes I don’t and they leave me a message abt how their a good listener and they KNOW something’s wrong.#Truly I love my friends but at this point I just need to be medicated or in a mental institution ong#but again; it’s not like my parents actually care. they canceled my therapy that was court appointed to me#My support system otherwise is gone; my older siblings have moved out and I’m supposed to protect my younger ones from my parents#but deadass my entire family is well aware that I’m useless in that department#I shake scream and sob everytime my parents yell at us so I’m no help; really#I mean recently I’ve been able to keep my emotions under control but the only reason why is because I’m dead inside 💪#As I’m typing this out I’m realizing that I should be telling the world this especially not in my mental state but like. I dunno 🤷♂️#I know most of you don’t care or if you do your just concerned or feel bad bc you know what it’s like and I thank you.#seriously; I thank you for being human and reminding me the world can be kind#if anything im just distracting myself from whatever this is. whether it be playing a silly game or drawing about said silly game it helps#but it also makes me feel guilty bc I RLLY should be focused on trying to pass this year. but I’m pretty sure it’s too late now.#anyways; that’s why I’ve been inactive lately so I apologize#it’s funny bc I’m typing this out but I rlly don’t feel anything while explaining this to you guys#I’ll tag this properly; I don’t know why I’m posting this and I might delete it later I dunno#tw vent#tw mention of abuse
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Healing takes time, healing takes time, healing takes time, HEALING TAKES TIME.
DOPPO AND HIFUMI HAVE ONLY KNOWN JAKURAI FOR WHAT'S PROBABLY A YEAR AND A HALF, MAYBE TWO AT MOST. Stop saying Jakurai isn't helping them just because they're not magically fucking healed in the relatively short amount of time they've all known each other. I know Jakurai isn't faultless, I'm not defending everything he's done but for gods sake.
#Ramblings#Hypnosis Mic#Jakurai Jinguji#Doppo Kannonzaka#Hifumi Izanami#I'm sorry for yelling but gods fucking damn please I'm tired of seeing this shit#I for one enjoy the fact Doppo and Hifumi haven't magically been made better#Because you can tell!!!!! There's growth!!!!!!!#Sure they both still fall a lot but heALING TAKES TIME!!!!!#There's no set path.#It can go up and down.#There's been a handful of times where Doppo hasn't full on given up like he might have originally.#Hifumi is more complex than that and we don't even know what the fuck the bitch did to him yet.#Jakurai's teachings and practices are absolutely not the best but like!#Saying he hasn't helped them at all is a flat lie imo
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