#and yeah idk. I think abt it every so often bc. it’s upsetting

[eeunwoo]

.

[campgender]

Hi, my friend has a chronic illness that flares up sometimes and we've been wanting to hang out but it has gotten cancelled a couple times lately bc of her not feeling well enough on the day. I want to ask her how she feels cuz I care abt her a lot and want an update but 1, I don't want her to feel pressured or like I'm asking just to ask can we hang out now, and not bc I care abt how she's feeling (does that make sense? I may be overthinking this) and 2, I genuinely wanna know how she's doing but idk what to say if she responds with her not being better, sometimes u don't feel better and that's ok but I always want to offer comfort somehow or just convey my friendship? but I feel the same everytime and don't want to sound repetitive ?

Any thoughts?

this is really kind of you & it means so much to me that you want to support your friend & are putting so much thought into it! my response is inherently based in my own experience to an extent & everybody’s different, but a lot if not all of this is stuff i’ve heard regularly from other chronically ill people. of course, don’t say anything you don’t mean – if some of this isn’t the case for you, just adapt accordingly :)

i understand worrying about being repetitive but i think that’s totally okay to do! for one thing, it can be difficult to remember things period when you’re ill, especially during a flare, & for another, internalized + societal ableism is a hell of a force. it never hurts to have a reminder that not everyone is trying to force ableist expectations onto you + your friendship & that someone cares about you!

i think you can definitely tell your friend pretty much what you told me! like, “hey, it’s okay if you aren’t feeling up for responding but i just wanted to check on you! not trying to pressure you to hang out or anything, i just care about you & how you’re doing”

honestly the most important + supportive thing people have ever told me is that it’s okay if the answer is “bad.” i’m literally like surprised pikachu meme every time somebody offers to let me vent about having a rough time & then it helps me just to talk about it. it’s really socially unacceptable to talk about chronic pain & a lot of people get frustrated when you’re complaining about the same thing & there’s not really anything they can do, so just the opportunity to be like “yeah shit fucking sucks right now” means a lot.

obv the appropriateness of this depends on the person & their relationship to disability but most of the time i’m very like, radical acceptance / embracing / etc about the fact that i’m probably just gonna get sicker, so sometimes when i’m having a rough time emotionally & am like “what if i’m this bad for the rest of my life” my gf (who doesn’t have chronic pain / chronic illness) will say something like “then i can’t wait to be there with you ❤️” & it’s more meaningful to me than i can begin to put into words.

again everybody’s different but for me one of the biggest things is when disability stuff just… isn’t a big deal to the other person. which, it’s totally okay for you to need support from others when someone you care about is going through a hard time & when things change! but abled people are constantly horrified about like, every aspect of my life, so being able to talk casually about symptoms & somebody mirror the mood / tone i set – laugh if i’m joking, be upset about the ableism i experience & not my body itself if i’m complaining about people being weird about it, taking things as they come – is so affirming.

other things that have been helpful + meaningful for me are friends sending me notes, stickers, & art in the mail – having something tangible can make me feel more “real” & part of the world, something i struggle with due to being homebound – & peer support around medical neglect, which often just looks like talking to someone after a doctor’s appointment & them reaffirming my reality / experiences & saying i didn’t deserve to be treated that way.

oh one other change in language i’ve made over time & probably picked up from a few other ill people in my life is a sort of realistic encouragement – there’s not necessarily anything wrong with “i hope you feel better soon!” because like, i get that the message is well-intentioned, but it can be awkward & difficult to receive when you don’t know if that’s gonna happen. instead, i try to tell people something like “i hope you get a bit of relief soon” or “i hope things are a little easier tomorrow.” a 7/10 pain day may be horrifying for most people, but when you’ve had a streak of 9s, it can be a much-needed taking the edge off, & i try to make space for that breadth of experience in my language.

i’ve answered a few similar questions before so i’ll add my “asks” & “faq” tags on my chronic illness blog in the reblogs if you want to browse! much love to you & your friend and feel free to lmk if you have any other questions 💓💓

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

i guess i need some. advice? encouragement? about some stuff thats been happening recently so suicide/violence cw under the cut

i won't go into detail but i had. a very huge emotional/physical/mental breakdown today. where i was just. basically screaming and howling about how suicidal ive been lately. I haven't said anything out loud/via text on the internet abt it because i know saying i want to kms so often is bad for my own well being and ultimately makes other uncomfortable as well

so yeah i've just been. holding all that in. i knew the thoughts were coming in and out the past few months but was just shrugging it off as just being stressed abt the nightmare year i had. but i really was just. lying to myself and others because i didnt want to worry anyone/didn't want to admit how horrible i was doing after a couple years of good progress. but as it stands things are heading into a really bad direction for me rn. its not normal to go to sleep suicidal and immediately be suicidal upon waking up.

I don't really know what i can really do harm reduction wise. i'm unable to have regular visits with a psychiatrist/therapist bc of availability issues + i tend to just. lie. because its easier to say im fine than it is to advocate for myself and get actual help. and even then medication will not save me and coping skills can only go so far if im so deep in it im unable to take care of myself/feed myself/clean myself/eat/etc so none of it is effective enough in the moment. i know it CAN be effective and some of the skills ive learned can help during situational issues but this is really deep rooted improperly treated mental illness and i need a stronger foundation to be able to use any of the skills

i use a means of self isolation to punish myself, because i'm so upset with myself for not being able to pick myself up on my own. people can say im not a burden over and over but theres always gonna be a catch in the end. i freak out because what if this is one of my last meltdowns before they decide enoughs enough and i just get abandoned. again.

I feel like maybe being so Online is making things worse?? but i don't know??? my concentration is completely gone even when trying to use dnd/closing discord completely and im just constantly refreshing social media every 10 seconds and just stew in the bad feelings.

I don't know if just. leaving the internet cold turkey for a bit would do more harm than good.....i dont want to be alone and caught up in my thoughts. but i have a hard time doing things in 'moderation' and don't know how to even begin to roll back my internet/screen time usage

fandom is fun and great. but i dont think i should be using video games as pure escapism or playing them 24/7. im already getting bored and unenthusiastic about the things i like because its ALL i do.... I want to have at least SOME time away from screens. i hate having the impulse the check social media or refresh even 30 seconds (im even doing it NOW) but i just dont know where to begin in cultivating non-screentime hobbies and have the ability to focus on things more long term without having than doing 1000 things all at once to keep myself busy. i play video games muted most of the time, have a yt video playing, sometimes i'll stop mid video game and pull out my ipad while still having the games open, and im always on discord

there's books i still want to read, i eventually want to pick up sewing again. im considering getting a craft set for making those beaded bracelets (my brother gets them from concerts all the time and thinks it would be fun to make them too) but that all requires money

and i just. idk where im going with this rn but. any advice or suggestions or just. words of encouragement would be. really nice rn

[yelenasdog]

school girl skirts and metallica (warren worthington x fem reader (kinda) nsfw head canons)

genre: lemón if u catch my drift. like nothing explicit tho

summary: warren’s a spicy (yet somehow shy) mf w a thing for skirts and tights. that’s literally it

words: 845

warnings: i am a minor, and if that makes u uncomfy, don’t read :), cursing, themes of warren being sub-ish?? very heavy implications of sex, hank being nosy, idk, just warren being a horny fucker, that’s it.

a/n: yeah uhhhh my blog was previously nsfw free, but this has been sitting in my drafts for awhile and i want it oUT. also i put the keep reading in a weird place so that ppl could ignore this if they wanted lols.  k enjoy mwah

⚔⚔⚔

to put it plainly, warren worthington has the hots for girls that wear short school girl skirts.

stop what ur doing and say that 10 times fast

u prolly couldn’t HA ok sorry for bullying u, back to warren

now, he found this out after beginning to attend xaviers, which has no dress code.

but for some reason

you enjoyed wearing this evergreen and navy colored skirt, rolled up. u paired it with a collared shirt, a jumper, and a worn leather jacket that went to your knees.

but what really got him, was the white knee highs you wore with your docs.

drove him absolutely crazy

so when he finally got the nerve to ask you out, he was ecstatic when you (obviously) said yes.

the two of you were known as a sort of punky couple around school

often found sitting together on sunny days underneath an oak tree, leather jackets abandoned in the heat.

the pair would share their earbuds, listening to metallica just loud enough that it would do no harm to your ears (for your sake, he couldn’t care less about his own)

after some time together, he simply couldn’t take it anymore.

it was another normal day, both of you sitting under your favorite spot, watching as the few students walked about, minding their business

it was sparse on the courtyard, though, as it was rather chilly that day, so most opted to stay in, comforted by the fire xavier always had on inside.

and warren’s mind immediately went to how you were still wearing that blessed skirt despite the weather, a pair of tights in addition to the high socks resting under the fabric.

he seemed on edge, which you picked up on immediately.

worried that maybe the cold had gotten to him, you placed a concerned hand on his neck.

“warr? are you alright?”

given his current state, at the brief contact, his large hand immediately formed a fist.

you moved the hand to run itself through his golden curls, and he nuzzled further into your palm.

you smiled sympathetically, allowing him to close his eyes, finding a momentary bliss in your warmth.

“what’s wrong, golden boy?” you barely whispered, hoping to ease whatever illness he might have been feeling.

he opened his eyes, tentatively moving his own hand to your thigh, snapping the elastic of your tights.

“i need’ya.” he muttered, closing his eyes again.

oh.

oh

you tilted your head, heart beating much faster now.

you ran your thumb across his stark cheekbone, feeling a shiver run down his spine, his wings also vibrating lowly.

“what was that, warr?”

he all but whined, “you’re driving me mad in that skirt, ‘s all i can think ‘bout.”

a wide smile spread across your features, still not completely sure where this was going, although you may have had an idea or two.

you can probably guess what happened next.

and no, you heathen

you didn’t do it right there.

did he want to?

oh, no doubt, that cheeky little bastard. (lmao) you had to basically pull him to his dorm.

once you did make it there, though

it was hot and heavy behind closed doors

he was a brat fs, but he was ur good boy or whateva

😳🗿🌝

anywayyy

when he finally, hehhem, ya know

does it

his wings spread out and scratch at the sheets, ripping them basically to shreds LOLS

after that, he has to get new ones every week after you, uh, visit

and of course some of the staff wonder why his door is often closed

and some even begin to notice how he always seems to be visited by you each week with a pack of new linen

(which was strictly for the reason that you get annoyed when ur foot gets stuck in the rips when cuddling, by the way)

and he hates making u upset

so he gives u the cash and u go buy them, as a compromise

(which also confuses the staff bc its a literal boarding school so everything u need is there, but you think it would be too suspicious to go and get new sheets every week at abt the same time)

buttttt back to the store

u would get the linen ofc but not w/ out coming back with some snacks and movies

which usually would lead to needing more sheets AGAIN (if u catch my drift rejkbgr)

but anywho

nobody ever says anything

xavier doesn’t even begin to pick up on it, that poor man

hank kinda thinks something fishy is going on, but chooses to ignore it completely

avoiding any convo of that nature at all costs

(but he does make sure to loudly tell charles about how important it is for the youth to practice safe sex when he sees the two of you near, much to charles’ confusion.)

not to mention relentless teasing from jubilee, who told jean, who then of course told scott, leading to being teased by all of them!

(minus peter, he would just occasionally nudge warren on the shoulder and smirk, but that was it)

but in the end, nothing could put a damper on the relationship of you two, truly.

he loved you (not that he would say it yet)

and you loved him (ditto! fun!)

but let’s be real here

the real savior of your relationship? the real matchmaker, if u will?

that damned school girl skirt.

[childishfluff]

(im gonna be sending a few seperate asks since theyre seperate thoughts/ideas, sorry for any sort of inbox spam!!) ur pet regressor tommy fic led me into a whole wormhole of many different ideas.. esp abt who else is a pet regressor!!

- wilbur (cat regressor!! also very relaxed, he *will* just sleep on phil or techno's lap for hours on end. mostly nonverbal, but will meow every now nd again. mostly communicates through actions. he can purr. doesn't drop often, but when he does, it's due to extreme stress- meaning he can be pretty sensitive while he's in catspace.)

- tubbo (puppy regressor, but definitely more of a relaxed dog aside from the amnt he communicates, especially through barking, whimpering, and soft "awooo!!"'s. loves snuggles. sometimes, he's scared to come of as annoying, so he's hesitant to slip into pupspace, normally needing someone to help him along and tell him that it's ok for him to be a puppy, nd that he's a very very good boy.)

- karl (kitten regressor!!!! he's either really sleepy or really playful/energetic, and he has no in between on that. he meows.. so much.. all he kno is meow meow!! *very* sensitive while dropped, and as such, he needs a lot of validation and love. will get extremely upset with himself if he notices that anyone is even *slightly* mad/irritated by him.)

- nick (sapnap) (PUPPY REGRESSOR 100000%!!! he's very very loud and extremely playful!!! he can be entertained for *hours* w literally anything, especially toys like chew bones. doesn't really drop too often, but when he does, he drops very very far. something that can trigger his drops is when people compare his traits/actions to those of a dog because he just goes yes!! yes me!!!! dog!!! me!!!! also he loves karl *so* much because karl absolutely spoils him rotten when he's in pupspace.)

- ranboo (kitty regressor!! similar to karl, he can be really sensitive while he's dropped. entirely nonverbal, opting for actions instead. he's a mix of both playful and sleepy. when he sleeps, he curls his entire body up into a circle nd kneads at whatever he's sleeping on until he falls asleep.)

- dream (cat regressor!! sleeps a lot when he's dropped, hes just vv tired. mimics patches, and loves to follow her around/act like she does. even bases his catgear around patches, with tabby-colored cat ears and an outfit based off of similar colors. drops very easily, mostly voluntarily.)

those r the ones i can think of now.. id love to know ypur opinions/interpretations of them!! -🌻

OKAY I’M GONNA GO THROUGH THESE ONE BY ONE, AND SHARE MY THOUGHTS+OTHER POSSIBLE HCS/FIC SCENARIOS, SO LONG POST WARNING Y’ALL

1. Cat Regressor! Wilbur

yes yes yes, I wouldn’t of thought of it myself but the idea is absolutely adorable! I’d totally write that, with like handler/cg!niki in addition to those you listed. And the idea of him using it for stress and therefore being sensitive in catspace? like, that’s amazing. 

I could imagine a fic where someone pushes him to regress for fun for once, but he feels like it’s stupid to purposely act like a cat when he doesn’t need it? They don’t pressure him, or anything, but he ends up slipping because he feels safe. and he realizes not only does it help with stress, but it just makes him more happy!

also imagine him slipping around tommy for whatever reason, and just wanting to sleep while Tommy’s trying to do something fun. So he’s dragging around a sleepy kitten and waking him up every two seconds, and it’s really soft and adorable and ends up with Wilbur sleeping somewhat on Tommy so that he can’t get up and he’s like ‘you’re so lucky I love you, dude.’ awww I need to write a fic- no promises but y’know

2.Puppy Regressor!Tubbo

someone actually requested a puppy regressors!tubbo and tommy fic that I’m having trouble writing, like it sounds cute but it’s kinda hard bc I’ve never written puppyspace before. I actually decided to start over but I’ma keep trying on that. 

anyways, imagine like, Ranboo or Tommy helping him slip over a discord call! Needing help to regress is something that I understand (I age regress, but I haven’t in a while due to this issue), so I could probably write Tubbo in that position well. Needing to be coaxed and told that it’s okay to be a cute lil puppy, like that’s adorable! 

3. Kitten Regressor!Karl

tbh I tried to write kitten!karl but I was half asleep and gave up, I need to get back to that hjsiksja. Like I specialize in writing sensitive regressors w/anxiety over someone being mad at them, so I could definitely pull this off. 

and the idea of him being a talkative kitty is sooo cute! Like I can imagine something along the lines of this conversation between him and a handler/cg:

“What do you want?”

“Meowww”

“I don’t know what that means!”

“Meow?” (little head tilt and innocent cute eyes)

“Do you want cuddles?”

*excited meows! and he goes and cuddles up in their lap bc yay, they understood him!*

and imagine kitten!karl playing w/Quackity! very very adorable concept

4. Puppy Regressor! Sapnap

okay okay so I don’t watch sapnap really but this is still adorable! Like the whole ‘me, puppy? yes.’ thing is soooo cute! Imagine George or Dream just forgetting that’s a trigger and making a joke about how one of his mannerisms reminds them of a puppy and suddenly! There’s a puppy to take care of!

and karl spoiling him sounds like something he’d do hjsiksjsa. I can’t really add much on here bc idk much about him/his content past the smp but this is so cute! Maybe I’ll watch a few of his videos and attempt writing him bc I keep getting requests for him

5. Kitten Regressor! Ranboo

yes, I was already thinking about this tbh! Like I’ve written him as a little and it’s kinda similar, he’s sensitive, and he’s less verbal the littler he gets. As a kitten, I can easily picture him just being quiet. 

I imagine that he’s really pouty because of this, because he doesn’t know how to communicate otherwise, so this might confuse anyone who may take care of him. 

“Why are you pouting? Do you want cuddles? Food? Do you wanna play?” 

and he just doesn’t reply bc he’s a kitten and he can’t talk so it’s an endless cycle of guess and check until they reach the right answer, and it’s really funny to watch. I can also imagine that he giggles a lot. Like he’s not verbal or anything, and he doesn’t giggle a lot but sometimes it happens! and if you make him giggle while in kittenspace then you did something right!

it makes everyone happy when he giggles and it’s really soft and cute! I definitely think I’ll write a fic with kitten!ranboo in it, at some point eventually, I think! 

6. Cat Regressor! Dream

awwwww- I didn’t even consider the possibility of this but awwww. Imagine Wilbur and Dream in catspace together, just sleeping and cuddling while basically all the other kittens are playing and being hyper. And everyone’s trying to get them to play but they’re sleepy! (ofc they end up playing anyways bc their friends are adorable and convincing but y’know)

and I really like the idea of him mimicking patches! I’ve seen a few pet regresors say that they mimick/copy their pets so it kinda feels realistic and likely! and plus, it’s really cute. 

and since his regression is voluntary, I can imagine him like one minute, just chillin w/george and sapnap and going ‘what if- what if I just went *cat mode*’ and he tries to hint to his friends that he wants to slip but they’re not getting it so it’s kinda frustrating for him but funny for the readers to see play out bc George and Sapnap are being completely oblivious to everything. Hjsiksja that’d be funny

Thank you for sending this it, like seriously! It was really fun to go through and talk about these, I might make additional headcannon lists once I’m actually awake tomorrow bc I shouldn’t be up rn but yeah, I just wanted to go through and respond to this! <3

[we-are-inevitable]

toxic relationship hcs you say?? 😈 i adore this au so much jac

- sometimes they’ll just. argue about nothing into the early hours of the morning, then have hate sex and go to bed angry. jack’s favourite non-apology is to come home with a baggie of coke or something and be like “would this make you feel better babe?”,, whereas davey is probably more likely to actually say he’s sorry, even if he wasn’t really in the wrong in the first place

- davey gets so possessive and jealous when it comes to jack, even when it’s just with his friends that he’s not remotely romantic or sexual with. he knows he’s being irrational, but sometimes he finds himself guilt-tripping jack about it anyways :/

- ok on a slightly different note. not sure how hard of drugs they do in this au,, but some good angst fuel could be one of them ending up in a k hole and the other having absolutely no fucking clue what to do about it. like jack’s completely dissociated and confused and hallucinating so bad that he can’t even move, and davey is pretty high himself and he’s never seen someone get like this before, so he’s freaking out. maybe he even ends up calling one of jack’s friends to help, even though he knows they don’t really like him

kath i hope u know that i am actually in love with you holy SHIT

also just in case, but:

TW: drugs, alcohol, discussion of sexual topics, toxic relationships

okay so right off the bat: jack using drugs to make make davey Not Pissed Off is something that can be so personal,

i feel like i should also establish- for anyone reading this- that jack and david are absolutely horrible people in this au, by the way. i'll get into more on that later.

but yeah, jack knows davey, and jack knows that davey is happier when high, so when davey is high, davey is happy, and davey tends to get high after they fight. it's a constant cycle of anger and drugs and numbness and "i love you" and it's almost disorienting, but they're both too far gone to care at that point.

so, when davey is angry at jack, jack will let him take the first hits from a blunt, or splurge and bring home the "good" coke, or offer to help him shoot up in the bathroom.

BUT when jack is mad at DAVEY, jack tends to be a bit more selfish with his shit. davey's "apologies" are basically him just apologizing so jack will get high with him again, or fuck him again, or smoke with him on the balcony again.

all in all, jack pacifies davey and davey tells jack what he wants to hear. neither are actually sorry.

MOVING ON:

davey getting possessive over jack is ABSOLUTELY something that happens. because, well, davey... doesn't really have anyone else?

he went low contact with his family for jack. he rarely stays at his own dorm when they're first starting their relationship- he's always at jack's- so he doesn't really get along with his roommate anymore. he doesn't talk to people in his classes and lectures. he spends every moment he has with jack, because jack is the only person giving him the attention he needs.

it gets worse when they actually move in together, once they can move out of the dorms.

he gets upset when jack goes to a party without him. he gets upset when jack spends a lot of time with his friends. on the rare occasions that jack's friends want to get high (on weed; they don't do harder shit like jack), david is LIVID when jack comes home smelling like weed- because david wasn't there.

david has a lot of codependence issues.

FINALLY:

alright so full disclosure: i DID have to look this up on urban dictionary.

i imagine that ketamine isn't something that they get their hands on often, but they probably do it a few times; just when jack feels like changing things up a bit.

as for a bad experience: YES

and it would be an interesting role reversal, too, bc jack is usually the one to take care of davey while davey's high. jack is just naturally more experienced; hes been playing with fire since he was fifteen, and davey is still relatively new to this, so more often than not, it's davey who pushes a little too far bc he doesn't know his limits yet.

but thinking about davey having to help jack through a bad trip... GOD kath your MIND

and if davey DOES end up calling one of jack's friends, it's basically futile. they'd insist on getting jack checked out, or taking him to a hospital, or trying to talk jack into getting clean and going to rehab (again), and as bad as it sounds... davey doesn't want that.

jack is his gateway into everything. sex, drugs, alcohol, parties. his entire new lifestyle. davey is, quite literally, addicted to jack.

this is going to sound cliche but

jack is his drug, and david isn't ready to get clean.

also, i'm going to go into some more NSFW stuff down below the cut, so just be warned! (the actual fic isn't going to be sexually explicit, but there are some scenes that are very heavily implied and will be tagged as such.)

so, as you said, the hate-sex is very common.

also okay so like. in this au, davey isn't exactly a virgin when they meet but jack absolutely brings a new side of sex to the table- a side that david has never experienced before.

i'm not going to go into specifics, but jack is just a lot more possessive and aggressive than anything david is used to.

and this isn't just in sexual situations! it's very much applicable to their relationship as a whole.

(i want to clarify- when i say aggressive i don't mean in a Yikes! way, but you should also know that, even though this situation is shitty, david knows his limits. david knows what he wants to accept, and he's very willingly accepting the aggression that jack carries with him. again, not to be graphic, but david is into it. just to clarify!)

but yeah the rough sex is like. their normal

and they're only soft and slow when one of them specifies that it's what they need in that moment- which does happen a few times! particularly when one of them is just,, having a sad day. that's sad sex to them

i am going to stop this here bc i don't want to get too explicit with this answer, but you mentioned hate-sex and i just. have feelings about the sexual side of their relationship (which the fic will get into), and i guess we can use this as a warning for some of the content to come when i actually start posting the fic ?? idk

thank u so much for this ask !! i'm sure this is way longer than u wanted !! but i had so many thoughts !!!!! also feel free to ALWAYS talk to me abt this au because WOW i love it

[grxceblqckthxrn]

TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao 

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast 

 hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION  

 she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire 

emma can’t act for shit lmao 

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one?? 

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt  have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever  ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine 

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

 everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it 

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN 

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers 

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes 

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha 

probably has like 1 million followers 

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main 

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming 

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for 

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool  ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE 

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS: 

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO 

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :( 

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips 

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually 

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS 

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

[angeltrapz]

Chainshipping ask!! Chainshipping ask!! hello beloved mutual Connor 💚💚 Just cuz idk I love couple shit, what do u think is their favorite movie to watch together? bc I think they have very different genre tastes so what is th one that just hits So Right for them both, their go-to for date nights where they can’t decide on smthn — also, bc i LOVE th idea in any situation of there bein a cork board that Adam pins his photos on: Adam’s top 3-5 fav photos that he’s put up on the board? Lawrence’s top 3-5? who’s in them, what’s the story behind them, etc!

hello beloved mutual adam!! tysm <3

ohh I've given that a lil bit of thought actually!! I agree that they have very very different genre tastes, like some of the shit Adam is perfectly fine w watching Lawrence couldn't ever sit through (I don't know that Adam likes, you know... Super Fucked Up Movies? I def think he doesn't mind certain aspects of horror/gore as much as Lar might though), and the same can be said vice versa. so because I am a simple man w simple joys, I actually do like to think it's The Princess Bride,,, (no it's not bc Cary's in it, but that's a plus) it's a movie that would've come out when Adam was pretty young but (since I like projecting??) it was smth that was on a lot after it came out, and I don't think he'd outwardly TELL ppl this, but it's a very good movie to watch when he's upset/tired/needs background noise. he could probably recite certain parts of it at this point but don't ask him abt it jdfkddfs

I think the first time Adam suggests that movie Lawrence looks at him for a moment and is like "really???" bc I firmly believe he would be really fond of it too!! he watches it every so often with Diana bc she really enjoys it and Lar can't say he doesn't enjoy it too,, he'll like try to get some work done while it's on (he and Diana will sit in the living room), but inevitably it'll get pushed to the side bc Lawrence gets caught up in watching it, no matter how many times they've seen it. so when Adam brings that up he's just like "!!!!!" internally!! he's so excited abt it + Adam can definitely tell, so the whole time he's just like "oh... I love you 💞💖💕"

I like the idea that they specifically have like, certain traditions when they decide to watch it, so like. they've got the comfiest blanket out on the couch, probably some sort of takeout or delivery if Lawrence hadn't made something for dinner himself, hot chocolate made with milk the way Adam likes it - sometimes they bake chocolate chip cookies together too!! just a nice evening to relax and enjoy each other’s company + a movie they’re both pretty fond of!! it usually ends with Adam’s head on Lawrence’s shoulder, his legs in Lawrence’s lap, sound asleep. sometimes Lawrence will drift off too for a little while, but once he wakes up he makes sure to wake Adam up too so they can go to bed properly (Lawrence will never admit to this, but sometimes if Adam whines and asks for five more minutes, well, Lawrence doesn’t have the heart to deny him,,)

+ YEAH I love the cork board idea too!!! I like the idea that Lawrence is the first to suggest it, ‘cause “Adam, you are far more talented than you give yourself credit for; also I love you.” bc Adam is 100% the kind of dude that takes pictures of his partners/friends/family CONSTANTLY. and even beyond that, Lawrence has always thought Adam was talented!! so it breaks his heart a little sometimes to hear that Adam isn’t confident in his skills/feels nervous sharing any shots with people. he figures if they have a cork board specifically for pinning up photos they like/Adam is proud of, maybe that will help a little bit to show Adam how much he loves his photography + how impressed Lawrence is with it!!

so, for Adam’s top three favourite shots:

the first is a photo of Lawrence in bed, having just woken up + with the early morning sun framing him in a gentle wash of light that makes his eyelashes bright and evident, along with softening the features of his face. Adam was already awake before Lawrence (though admittedly not for very long), and he was just overcome with the feeling of I Need To Document This. he stubbed his toe when getting out of bed to retrieve his camera, but it was totally worth it.

the second is actually one Lawrence took of him, and he totally teared up the first time he saw it but he’d never tell you that. it’s a picture of him leaning against the counter in their kitchen, wearing only his boxers and one of Lawrence’s t-shirts that hung off of one shoulder, and his eyes are closed while he’s holding a cup of coffee he’d just poured. his hair was a disaster, he was a little bit grouchy, he’d had trouble with the toaster, but Lawrence saw him and instantly felt like he needed to keep that moment.

the third is actually one of he, Lawrence, and Diana; it was taken using the self-timer feature so Adam could be in it too, because Diana wanted to have a picture of all three of them. this is the picture that actually DID make him cry the first time he saw it, because it’s just like. that’s his family!!! he loves them!!! holy shit!!! and Lawrence had to hug him for a while even though he was Also having a moment,, Diana walked up to the two of them and hugged them both too. it was a good moment for the three of them!!

for Lawrence’s top three favourite shots:

the first is one of he and Diana that Adam took one weekend while Diana was staying with them at the apartment, stealthily shot from the threshold of the kitchen. Diana is painting his nails light blue and telling him all about her day at school, and Lawrence is smiling and his mouth is open because he was in the middle of responding to something she had said. the faint glow of light from the TV and the lamps they have on the side tables paint he and Diana in a warm kind of light, and it just looks so soft. he’s so very happy with the family he has now.

the second photo is one that Adam had gotten when he was in the midst of changing into his sleep clothes, sandy blond hair a mess and his eyes half-lidded and sleepy as he glances in the direction of the camera with a tired smile. he’s actually grinning at Adam behind the viewfinder, slacks halfway down his thighs and his dress shirt unbuttoned to expose the undershirt beneath. he was tired as fuck and kind of a mess after pulling a long shift that Adam just barely stayed up for, so knowing Adam was probably worn out from waiting up for him and Still wanted to take a picture? it’s very much just 🥺🥺

the third picture is one that he took of Adam, wearing one of his college sweatshirts on the couch with his knees drawn up under his chin and his cheek resting against the tops of them. he was deeply focused on the movie that was playing (what the movie was, Lawrence forgets) and he was that soft kind of sleepy, eyes slipping shut every so often as he forces himself to stay awake to finish whatever it was. Lawrence had gotten it one of the times his eyes were open, bathed in the multicoloured lights of the TV, and god Lawrence just felt his heart clench and knew he needed this.

honestly, it’s pretty equal between the two of them on who takes pictures of the other, and though Lawrence is inexperienced and his shots are a little blurry or he forgets to keep his thumb out of the frame, it’s still perfect. Adam always feels his chest swell with this emotion of you love me enough to capture these moments forever, and honestly? Lawrence’s enthusiasm kind of builds up his confidence a little; that he sees Adam even with the wildest of bedhead and drool on his pillow and thinks Yes, I Need This. it’s so. 🥺

it’s their life, pinned up for anyone to see when they come to visit. the love that warms the apartment and their hearts, as evidenced by the numerous array of pictures they have displayed. it’s them, their family, their love, and that’s all that matters. <33

[mothbug]

maggie i’ve been trying to suss out the plot of ur bug lesbians for so long please tell me abt them. somehow it got into my head that they were?? like jaeger pilots? please confirm or deny

i can’t do a read more on mobile so i’m sorry in advance (coming back here after i’ve written this: it makes no sense. it’s all rambling. sorry. and i just put things everywhere randomly so this won’t even be typed chronologically)

yeah there’s giant fun robots! most of them are normal and fine but like a few of them are very fucked up

so there’s four pov characters and at the start of the story three of them are on the same ship and the fourth is the target they’re chasing? only one of them knows they even HAVE a target and is trying her best to stall because she and the target were roommates in fucked up robot catholic school. the other two are playing crazy 8s and being romantic and also terrified all the time but also doing a lot of theorizing about things because they know SOMETHING is up they just don’t know what’s going on. Bc you know. their commander won’t give them any information. and also avoids them because she hates narrative parallelism

also the one stalling is also having her blood drunk by her giant robot. and maybe being mildly possessed by it? so it’s maybe The most fucked up robot. it’s also a giant dog and a good boy. and an heirloom of a fucked up family. which may explain some stuff but honestly i think nisa’s mom was just a bitch and it didn’t have anything to do with the robot she’s just like that.

and she’s stalling bc she Knows she won’t turn perovskia in she knows she wouldn’t let her get hurt she Knows it’ll change her life forever if she finds her and she’s just not ready to face that. but yknow she has to so it was all just very silly of her but when something will change your life dramatically it’s terrifying even if you know that things currently Suck.

somewhere in here Arkansas’s family is threatened and it’s. upsetting. and i’m not sure what direction to go in with it but it will be important because her family means a Lot to her. she has two very good kind dads and a little sister named Tinsel. basically she has the only functional biological family out of all the characters and they make me :’) I also think they eventually meet Idabel and ADORE her and since she grew up without parents it’s just a very strange and emotional experience and. h. they r Wives. and the Trust family is all very sweet and kind even if Arkansas struggles a lot w gifted kid syndrome like i think her dads did their best even if they fucked up sometimes yknow. idabel goes fucking wild at the arcade like legitimately bloodthirsty and arkansas is just like i love my furious and powerful wife

anyway there’s some (a lot of) homoerotic space fighting (which perovskia usually wins BECAUSE she remembers when she and nisa used to spar and can predict what she’ll do. nisa ALSO remembers this bc. ofc she does. but perovskia had to learn how to adapt after Events bc her physical health changed a lot and she had to learn to be more careful about overexerting herself and also now knows how to swordfight. and moves more fluidly and confidently. so what nisa expects to happen often doesn’t bc perovskia’s fighting style has changed so much while nisa hasn’t really bothered to refine hers. anyway) perovskia (the gay little target that does a gay little crime and makes fun of you to piss you off) is like hey. what if you all committed treason it’s really fun and sexy. and then her adoptive mechanic mom gives everyone spinal surgery so their bodies don’t shut down and they won’t die :) that’s a thing by the way i won’t elaborate bc uhh :( but it is why perovskia has all the. nerve damage and chronic pain. i can elaborate on the actual Pre-story perovskia stuff later bc i think about it A Lot and it has a lot of bearing on her character but it’s also. before all this. but anyway if she hadn’t been bleeding out on Slice’s front lawn specifically she Would be dead. and there’s some fun narrative foil character shifts that happen four years before the main storyline but i will not say bc i’m tired

after this is Vague in my mind but a lot of it is Perovskia and Nisa reconnecting and just. talking. but being weird and repressed and deflective about anything Meaningful. And I have written a Lot about this so there’s more than I can condense but it’s very fucking good and. Idk. it’s a big shift in the narrative at this point and they’re just Agonizing about their dumb little feelings and it’s good. and P doing some work to make their giant fucking spaceship more stealthy. and Idabel and Arkansas being really cute and also going THROUGH it because i mean. a lot is happening. And it’s nothing either of them ever expected to happen but they’re like. hopeful for the future or whatever don’t look at me. It’s just like. put all of these characters on a spaceship in the middle of nowhere in transit and they all Have to have conversations even if they don’t want to because it’s HARD. nisa is forced by slice to learn how to make pancakes

Slice makes stew. They’re good at stew and contraptions and having a mild new england accent somehow. also canonically back in the scrapyard they would make things like the knife wielding tentacle constantly and perovskia would just stumble upon them. slice changed the live laugh love sign to say die cry hate because perovskia made fun of it. they r her mom.

so now they do some fun fun robberies and various crimes and it’s so sexy and i don’t think N and P are like. fully caught up at this point or know where they stand, so there’s a lot of very fun banter and having to work together despite really being afraid but also yearning to get to know each other again and just connect with one another honestly and openly after four fuckin years apart. because they’re both so different now but also very much the same. horse staring out into sea MAN. the thing is there’s no direct like. reason for them to avoid each other (at first P was shocked and overwhelmed and felt a little bit betrayed when she found out who was chasing her until she found out WHY. oh i forgot to mention Nisa BEGGED to be assigned commander for this mission bc she knew anyone else wouldn’t hesitate to get Perovskia killed. Forgot to mention that it’s IMPORTANT she fucking loves her so much god DAMMIT) but it’s just. tense and there’s a lot happening and it’s just. Ghhhdhbnm and ofc I and A have picked up on it since P showed up but it’s like. ok so what is Happening here. OH AND ONCE THEY START WORKING THINGS OUT IDABEL DOES START BEHAVING LIKE NISA’S SHITTY LITTLE SIBLING AND ACTING FUCKING DISGUSTED BY THEM ITS VERY FUNNY. they’re like perovskia you’re pretty cool what’s up with this. nisa sucks and also is a bitch. and perovskia says SHE CAN GET IT. and idabel says GET WHAT? BANNED FROM OLIVE GARDEN? and perovskia fans herself and is like yeah~ and idabel was just joking around but now is debating between mercilessly making fun of her and hitting her with a cricket bat. but god when P and N just get to hold each other in silence and security and just be. it’s . they. god. fuck. man.

oh i know this is a space story but perovskia just straight up has a sword (and some knives and maybe a gun idk) don’t ask me why idk but it’s very lesbian of her and she does gay little flourishes and is just. very annoying and i like her a lot. she’s very dramatic like her alias was madame revenant when she was living in the scrapyard and just doing some petty crimes like. she embroidered that jacket herself nobody calls her that she’s just a goofball. also warrior cats exist and she makes warrior cat fan animations. that just has to be true so warriors has been preserved for centuries. also she was presumed dead for a while uhh don’t think abt it too much but she likes that aesthetic.

Idabel takes the best to this new life of crime they are fucking FOR it she gets a FLAMETHROWER and Arkansas is like. wrow honestly my favorite thing abt them is that they’re both fucking INCREDIBLE pilots. like they know what they’re doing. and nisa is really really bad at it btw she cannot pilot a mech well. but this block of text isn’t about her i’m talking about THEM. Their chemistry is so good they r just. 🥺. and they both become Fast friends with perovskia because she’s just pretty likeable?? and ofc nisa’s jealous bc a) you guys don’t even like me :( but also b) that’s MY friend. it’s very funny. honey of course they didn’t like you you were being very unpleasant to be around. but arkansas does rlly wanna be friends with her and she and idabel have so much sibling energy it’s insane. i think they’d abel and cain each other for a scooby snack but also kill for each other. because they’re tiny girls who will growl at you solidarity and also probably hang out and just destroy things with bats sometimes. they all become closer and get a rlly sweet found family dynamic it just takes a While. oh also idabel is basically the chosen one and can set things on fire with her hands but it’s barely touched on because i think that’s a really funny thing to just ignore. but i also think it does become important because it’s largely fueled by anger and emotion and. h. i think idabel has a lot of feelings ok. Arkansas and Perovskia bond over having fucking anxiety disorders and have caprisun drinking competitions. i think it’s just like. these people all have similar trauma and need people to lean on when things are hard so they stick with each other once they have the option to split apart because by then they’re friends and work well together and Care. auto tuned baby crying mp3.

Alia and Agent Variety show up somewhere around here? They’re Slice’s very cool wives and Alia has a Vechicle Collection and own fucking stupid race cars and stuff and I love her. perovskia is afraid of being in vechiles so she has to take a fucking benadryl every time they have to make a getaway. Variety isn’t actually an Agent anymore and I also love HER because she’s very fucking good. they started out as just contacts slice had but it turns out they’re all in love <3 alia is also actually a sports car racer like. unprofessionally. illegally. which is just very cool of them.

Also i don’t think it has. a very BIG end, yknow? it’s like, they’re doing very good things and are up against a lot, and I don’t think they like.. singlehandedly take down the government or anything because they’re only a few people. but i think they get a happy ending and get to grow old while making positive changes to the world around them. like i don’t think they’ll be able to solve everything but they’re sure as hell gonna do what they can. But idk maybe they actually do get like. some good shit done. but again they’re not. an army. they’re a bunch of 20-somethings and their rube-goldberg-machine-creating chaperone. but i think they should get a fun climactic moment so i guess this is all to say i don’t. have an ending planned. but there should probably be one at some point.

OH AND the giant evil blood sucking dog vineyard vines robot Definitely almost kills Nisa (or at least fully destroys her in some way) and. it’s very narrowly avoided and she’s very very weak for a while because it took a lot out of her. also the dog robot does make grape vines grow and uhhhh any grapes that show up are 100% full of the pilot’s siphoned blood. also i think there’s still some remnants of that bitch in nisa’s mind afterwards bc an old mechanical god is hard to get rid of. but it’s mostly ok.

Also the bug people are just. a thing. like every person in the most recent generation in this specific society are at least a little bit genetically experimented on because. it sucks there. and i think if your parents bribe the government you can be a little Less fucked up but yknow. everyone’s a little weird. this was an excuse to put bug ppl in here they’re just the folks who were probably the most fucked with and i have many bug people here because i think bugs are cool and i want them to look like weird little bugs. This was all also an excuse to give the main characters fangs bc i’m gay. i don’t think randomly fucking with your genetics will make you a bug in real life so do not try this at home or at all PSA

SPEAKING of the society ok it’s very much obsessed with earth nostalgia and stuff and very yknow. basic cyperpunk shitty capitalism you know the drill you’ve seen space operas whatever but it’s also weirdly oligarchical? and like? it’s weird and bad and kind of a corporatocracy?? and. fuck. idk man they’re a fucked up space catgirl greeble-y amazon with catholic imagery. The Academy is also a thing but. idk how to describe it more than i already have it’s just kinda shitty boarding school. And after a certain point ppl can get sent on like. missions and stuff? in their fucking robots? but again i’m not sure what For. an option could be that there’s nearby Shit and nobody can tell if it’s safe because space is weird? also it’s only about 3200 so i’d say like. whole societies out in space is a relatively new thing and there’s some weird shit going on. so they sometimes send teenagers out in robots to see what’s up and that ends SUPER well for EVERYONE. hmm something SHOULD be going on actually there should be some weird eldritch space stuff. it should be connected to the more fucked up robots. it should also be Core’s fault somehow because uhhh capitalism and lack of foresight? anyway here’s women kissing i don’t know things. WAIT FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION HOW SHADY SOME OF THE STUFF GOING ON IS LIKE THE DEATHS OF THE CREW PEROVSKIA WAS ON UHHH JUST TRUST ME DUDE like they are NOT afraid to get kids killed which was IMPLIED but also like it goes a little deeper than that and uhh i don’t know exactly what’s happening. but i’m sure it’ll all fall into place eventually. basically it’s very fatt shitty faction vibes idk how else to describe it. man it‘s like. just. there’s stuff happening they have goals and ideals and there’s probably more to it than i know so far bc stuff happens but i don’t KNOW what i’m tired and have been typing this for a year i don’t want to talk abt the bad capitalists i want to talk about tenderness and girls but unfortunately the ways in which the girls are tender are deeply informed by the environment they grew up in so i do have to think about it even if they all deserved better.

i think they all get a cat or a dog or something eventually. like they all deserve it. i think the final home they build together is actually pretty reminiscent of the scrapyard house. i think they get to live there for the rest of their lives and. just build something small and wonderful for themselves :’)

also i forgot to put men in the story they exist i just forgot about them. there’s nisa’s one ex i already forgot his name but he’s mentioned i think.

[cometcrystal]

work saga updates cause i haven’t posted abt any of this yet and a lot has happened

cause i know at least one of you reads this shit. will be split into 3 parts

mute money incident 

i was the vault custodian that week and i was gonna take up mute money that day. mute is short for Mutilated and it means money that’s too gross/beat up to give out to customers, but is still real money and full enough to accept in deposits n shit. in the vault, we put them in straps marked with highlighters, so we know which ones to ship out to the feds

i was gonna do it the way another teller had done it before: gather enough bills to sell a full strap, with the mute money inside, and mark it with a highlighter and just sell that to the vault

head teller (im gonna say HT to keep it easier) says that’s wrong and i shouldn’t do it that way. according to her im apparently supposed to have each teller sell each individual bill they have to the vault and then i swap it out, swap it out for a good bill that’s inside an already- mute strap (cause they’re never 100% full of mute money), and bring it back (i.e. five 1s, three 5s, etc).

note i am still tense w her from smth she had done the previous evening

so im like Ok I Guess and start writing down how much each person is getting rid of on a piece of scrap paper. which makes sense right? cause if i’m gonna be bringing it back, i need to know how much to GIVE back.

HT sees this, takes my paper and crumples it and throws it away without asking me, and tells me i need to count it. i am upset and i said i WAS counting it and that’s why i had the paper. but apparently i have to hand count it every single time

also im apparently not supposed to give any back to the other tellers and im supposed to sell it back to my box when ??? like.

im trying to sort out this misunderstanding with her and truthfully arguing a bit because she is treating me like a child! and she looks at me and goes “do you want to learn or not. do you take this job seriously. because this is how we do this, and if you don’t want to learn, i’ll call [retail op specialist] and we can find someone else.”

so im abt to go inside the vault and shes like abt to come with me to help SWAP THE BILLS OUT and i was like i think i got it.

so i go in there alone and have to take a second and lean my head on the counter bc i am abt to start crying from how upset angry and insulted i am. she was just 100% talking to me like i was 5 years old and being EXTREMELY fucking condescending to me about the whole thing instead of just... explaining it. i have never once cried at work and i dont cry often in general. but she had nearly pushed me to that point.

when i go back out HT says “see that wasn’t so hard was it” in this I Told You So voice

so abt 20 minutes later i call her into the then-empty manager’s office so i can sit down with her and talk. because i am a petty person but im not abt to lose my job so i wanted to clear shit up w her.

TLDR i said its not that i don’t want to learn, it’s that the way you talk to me is condescending and it makes me feel like you think i’m stupid. and she said sorry and that she would try not to talk like that anymore, she was just frustrated cause she felt like i was arguing with her. so! i assume shit is cleared up

apparently, the next day, when the girl i learned the original mute money technique from came to work? HT pulled her aside and talked to her abt it and told her that we wouldn’t do it like that anymore here. and apparently! this bitch told her “apparently dott just doesn’t want to learn”! after i had that WHOLE conversation with her because i was trying to be a fucking adult! so i guess shit ISN’T cleared up!

and the funny part??? last week was HT’s rotation week so she was gone for the entirety of our new manager’s first week. and the other teller talked w the manager (MN for short) abt mute money and u know what she said????

SHE SAID JUST SELLING IT IN FULL STRAPS WAS THE EASIEST WAY SO THAT’S HOW WE’D DO IT. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

new manager

she officially started monday of last week, but had stopped by friday to get her keys and to introduce herself

HT is EXTREMELY angry that she didn’t get the position and she doesn’t hide it very well. and i like. i get it she’s been here for 10 years but also. just bc you’ve been here 10 years doesn’t mean 1. you have desk experience needed to be a good manager 2. you have the personality to be a good manager

anyway. MN is AMAZING and i love her. in her first WEEK, we got her putting her foot down but doing it in a considerate way, which is WAY more than could be said for our previous one, and is DEFINITELY something we need with HT. she’s very intelligent and i have very high hopes for her.

for one thing, TLDR we were cashing checks for ppl that weren’t there and had sent someone on their behalf, and we had apparently done that for a very long time but i never felt good about that. MN shut that down REAL quick as soon as she saw it happening, and the customers were all chill about it! literally the only issue is gonna be HT being upset that we’re changing that

the other big thing is its own section

Oh You’re GONNA Deposit It

so this one guy comes thru friday before last wanting to deposit a check into his business acct. let’s say his name is john doe, and the check’s made out to jack smith. jack has NOTHING to do with this account; he’s just one of john’s customers.

obviously we can’t fucking do this bc the check is made out to a completely unrelated person and not the business

i explain this to john doe and he immediately gets angry. hes like “oh youre GONNA deposit it.” with venom in his voice @ me. and i repeated myself. and he said “IS HT THERE??”

he’s asking for her because HT babies all these damn customers!! they’re spoiled as shit because she bends all these rules for them and then both of them, customer and HT, get angry when policy is cited at them

i was like ok! i’ll be right back! and i showed it to HT. and she goes over to talk to him. and even SHE tells him “we’re not supposed to do this” so she’s like “we’ll do it this one time because it’s a small check and you’ve been here forever, but we CAN’T do it again.”

SO EVEN HT HAS TOLD HIM THIS.

next friday, john doe calls in and says he has another check made out to jack smith that he’s gonna deposit. and if there’s any issue with it, he’ll close all his accounts out. like. ok lol

so he comes by and i do his first deposit for his personal bc it’s fine and then i pick up the business deposit and sure enough. another jack smith check, this time bigger.

so i don’t even talk to him, MN comes over to do that. she tells him the same thing i told him the previous week. he 100% straight up starts YELLING at her. not just raising his voice, YELLING. i can’t remember the exact convo but she hands the deposit back bc hes telling her to give it back and he speeds off

abt 30min later we get a call from someone at the call center just wanting to know the situation bc apparently he called them abt it and they told him the same damn thing we told him LMFAOOOO

so then an hour after THAT i pick up the phone and it’s him! he sounds calm and collected. he very politely asks for his account info because he’s gonna get stuff together to close all of his accounts and he’s gonna come by to do that. im like ok sir

he never comes by that day so idk if he changed his mind or if he’s planning to do it this week

the moral of this whole story is! this entire week is going to be extremely entertaining because HT’s reactions to all that MN has done so far (ALL GOOD THINGS!) is going to be extremely funny and vindicating! shes gonna be like “I’M GONE FOR A WEEK AND YOU LOST [COMPANY THAT’S BANKED HERE FOR 30+ YEARS]???” YEAH BECAUSE HE WAS BEING A MASSIVE CHODE GOOD RIDDANCE

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog - 2012 annual

iirc the annual takes place between 7 and 8, or something. whatever, im gonna go for it

shifts in art style always throw me off phewwww

i cant remember what theyre doing but i find it really funny that first aid is there squaring the fuck up to punch shit

ah yes of course how could i forget the time they shrunk down to fight tiny robots in ultra magnus’s head. a comic classic 

poor magnus lmao

HBJSDKFBSHJFDHJSD HIS TERRIFYING SMILE HAUNTS MY NIGHTMARES. LOVE IT

love the continuation of magnus’s law-vision

the fact that everyone is dunking on magnus for smiling ONCE hvbhjdksbfjks

rewind and chromedome ough

i feel like cyclonus spends 90% of his early mtmte screentime staring broodingly out of windows lmao 

tg so precious

lmaooo i love the flashes of rodimus saying ‘til all are one’ All The Time

rodimus just wants to be like his dad ok

rodimus telling drift to go meditate or something vbhjfdbhdsjkf

i love rodimus calling magnus out on referring to himself in the third person lmaoooo but also I'm like Oh I See That [eyes emoji]

wish i had emojis on the computer sigh

lmao so the circle of light is a bunch of pacifists With Big Ass Swords

them betting on how long it'll take rodimus to say ‘til all are one’ vbkjsdhbfjhkhsdf

damn so ambulon rlly did switch sides late in the game 

cyclonus is here!! being an emotionally closed-off fool as usual 

nooo rodimus let tailgate speak

cant believe rodimus graffiti’d tailgate

drift, immediately: rodimus is FUCKING POSSSESSED 

ratchet: ok, no, 

godddd everything abt the galactic counsel here is so funny. ‘its big - its grey - its taxpayer funded’ hvbkjshdbfjkdf and the fact that their ship is called ‘the benign intervention’ lmaooo

also DAMN that is a BIG ASS SHIP 

‘a fleshling in a stupid hat’ i love rodimus and his irrational hatred of hats

magnus comin in CLUTCH with the dry-ass clauses shit 

rewind vhjbdskfbaksdfn ‘the sub-section 7 defense - sneaky’ ily

tailgate hvbhjadkfbjskdf its ok that you don't know what's going on

also tailgate serves a vital role in the story as the audience insert character (or w/e its called), bc he’s often confused which allows for handy exposition that we the audience also need lmao 

i find it so interesting to see how the cybertronians are viewed by the rest of the galaxy - we don't see a lot of aliens but its always fascinating when we do, because of COURSE they’re mostly gonna think of the cybertronians as destructive and war-like when that’s what they’ve been up to for 4 million years 

ooof swerve :( swerve is one of those characters who you’re like ‘haha he’s funny’ most of the time but pretty often he’ll have startling moments of like, deep pain about life or w/e, and you’re like Oh Shit and then you kinda move on, until finally the swearth arc hits and it all comes together. what I'm saying is that this is some nice building towards that 

HGDSBJFKJSJBDF THERE IT IS THERE IT ISSSSSSSSSS

THE PANEL WHERE REWIND IN ALT MODE CAN FLY FOR SOME REASONNNNNN

i fucking love that shot so much. does everyone see this. rewind is a GIANT FUCKIN FLASHDRIVE and he’s hovering ominously thru the air. like, what happened to all the biz from issue 1 or w/e where his husband was roasting him for having a non-mobile altmode? if he can fucking HOVER than Actually rewind is the fucking coolest, no contest 

or like, is the implication that they all teleported there (having switched to alt mode along the way i guess?) and rewind is just like, suspended in midair? bc that's what the speed bubble text implies, but it also totally looks like they're just travelling across the area and rewind can levitate

anyways. that panel has always cracked me up lmaoooo

rodimus calling the council ‘fascists’ hvbhduifbjsdjfajskf sir i love you 

GODDD and there's the joke payoff from a few issues ago - rewind, facing front, hearing drift transform behind him and not only being able to tell its drift without looking, but also being able to tell that drift is upset, JUST like chromedome said he could....fucking PEAK i love that type of payoff humor

ooof and more swerve introspection. i mentioned earlier but i fucking LOVE how this series showcases the extremely wide range of reactions/coping mechanisms that everyone has towards the endless war finally being over - and swerve really nails it here: confusing peace with happiness, and assuming that everything would automatically be better after the war is over, when in reality you still have to work just as hard to build shit rather than break it

also i adore the horror of a guy who is half-embedded in the wall, his face stuck in a rictus of terror & death, waxing philosophical about how peace is about the freedom of choice, and how they should all just feel lucky to have survived...oof, that's very specifically ironic coming from you, dude 

but i do love the little characterization we get here for ore, a character who is literally already dead and has so far been used as a plot device pretty exclusively, but we still get to know little things about him here, and how HE feels about the war and the current peace, etcetc. it really makes the story and characters seem believable, like every character has a story even if we don't take the time to see it 

love cyclonus posing coolly 

kinda love how clear it is that drifts whole hippy schtick is just a front to cover his anger, and a tool to make him seem like an approachable, upstanding autobot

drift dramatically monologuing while pointing his sword at the sky is extra funny with everyone else just staring at him doing this

cyclonus why are you grabbing at the edge of the hole you're falling into, you can LITERALLY FLY, 

magnus finally getting some appreciation for being The most law abiding guy like, ever 

genuinely forgot abt the whole metrotitan plot that happens here 

GOD when rodimus is like BRAIN QUEST TIME and then we smash cut to them at the brain ‘six minutes later’ vhbhkudfjbjksf i live for that shit 

also that would be even funnier animated which further proves that we need an mtmte/ll animated series, please, somebody, 

HBDSJKFSHDJF REWIND IS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY you cant even tell if he GENUINELY didn't think cyclonus could talk or if hes just being a dick but either way? comedy gold 

oh i adore the flashbacks being in a different artstyle, especially one that's so retro 

i love rewind being a history geek, and cyclonus passionately explaining cybertronian creation theory

HHHH i fucking LOVE the myth/lore stuff like....a lot of franchises tend not to dwell in this type of mythology, you tend to get The True Version Of Events, but this kind of explanation rocks bc it totally sounds like the kind of religious mythology that naturally develops based on a species’ progression

and drift and ratchet’s very opposing and polarizing views certainty do make for interesting perspectives, tho i feel like the story sometimes leans too much towards ratchet being ‘more correct’ bc, logic! or something idk i feel like i used to have a couple mild opinions on this but i don't remember

and its funny bc i am, irl, an atheistic medical professional who believes in science above all else - essentially just like ratchet. but i feel like the narrative portrayal skews a little more in his favor than i’d like, despite that 

skids just out here being a bummer, completely unprompted. cant even blame you tho dude 

hhhhhh chromedome talking abt rewind ;_; 

and when he says ‘maybe there’s someone out there who can save your life, too’ and cyclonus is there....hhhh

god i fucking LOVE drift and rodimus’s entire relationship. the layers...the LAYERS!!!

OH HEY ITS THOSE ROBOTS SKIDS FOUGHT 

ah, inconvenient laser time!

ok i fuckgin love how cybertronian’s brains look just like the planet cybertron. that's so fucking great 

of COURSE brainstorm brought his shrink ray 

truly i love the convo between ore and swerve, especially overlaid onto everyone fighting 

oof, the themes and plot threads of this annual are all so nicely tied up (which is something i love abt mtmte, especially early on when the story is smaller), with swerve now choosing to disobey an order from rodimus

oh yeah, the circle of light! that's who you've been looking for this whole time basically! 

and then the ending, hearing that magnus smiled (willingly!) :) i love it

rodimus’s profile says ‘finds it difficult to sit still’ bc rodimus is an adhd icon

lmao i feel like over half of my sentences in this recap - and in most of my recaps - contain ‘i love it’ or ‘i love how-’ or some variation upon that theme. I'm predictable 

anyways - the annual! i love this issue. its really long which is cool and i feel like it does a lot to flesh out the setting and lore, and even the characters as well. also, as i said above, it does an excellent job telling an exciting and well-contained story, with solid story beats throughout and plot threads that emerge and get resolved all within this issue, even while leaving plenty of stuff up for future resolution. that's the Early MTMTE Special, and i adore it. tho i will say I'm glad we’ll be getting back to the regularly scheduled art style, bc this one didn't really do it for me 

[lesbianmaxevans]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok I’ve been trying to not talk about [redacted] bc I rlly don’t want to make a Situation out of this but I feel like I’ve been seeing her on my dash more than usual this month and it’s been.......distressing for me tbh.

also gonna preface this by saying that I feel like public call outs are gross unless you’re exposing abusers. while she def caused me harm, harm =/= abuse, and I think she’s just an insensitive asshole who’s too much of a people pleaser to be willing to put up boundaries and let ppl know when she’s upset w them.

uh recap I Guess given I haven’t talked abt this since I remade w this blog and only about 20 or so ppl followed me from my defunct blog lmao. so uh. I became friends w someone in the r.nm fandom a few episodes into the show. during the hiatus btwn s1 and s2 we got pretty close, like talking every day kinda close. my mental health took a really bad nosedive in august, which I told her about. I was becoming aware of a lot of my mental health shit and realized I had a pattern of  becoming obsessive towards friends if I’m fairly isolated from other ppl and said friend gives me a lot of attention, which was the case w this person (and I disclosed this as well, expecting her to bail when I did). we still talked p often until she got busy w irl stuff a few weeks later. after that we were talking fairly infrequently and it got to a point where we were talking once every two weeks or so. she initiated a convo on NYE that lasted for a couple hours and there was nothing about the way she ended the conversation to suggest she was upset w me (in fact I’m pretty sure she ended the convo telling me that she loved me bc we’d usually end our longer convos like that). she went radio silent for two weeks and then suddenly I was blocked.

I’m not gonna pretend like I was faultless for our friendship dissolving. bc my bad headspace and my anxiety going haywire, the last few months of last year are a haze and p much the only thing I can actually recall is that I was rewatching chuck bc it’s my #1 comfort show and I was hoping it might help me pull me out of my spiral. I was honestly probably acting fairly erratic, but we’d talked multiple times about how I was in a bad headspace. we’d talked multiple times about how I was insecure in my rships and I was afraid no one actually liked me and ppl were only tolerating me. and she still decided to block me instead of talking to me about whatever I said/did that upset her.

this individual is pretty popular in the non-malex side of rnm fandom, which is the side of fandom I engage with. unsurprisingly I became less active in fandom during season 2 (altho granted I was never /that/ active in fandom to begin with), but given she’s so popular, and p much everyone I interact with from fandom I met (indirectly) through her, it’s kinda impossible to ignore her completely. but it’s been 6 months and bc I can’t get real space from her, it’s still fucking me up mentally when she pops up on my dash. idk where I’m going w this other than me trying to be more transparent about the situation tbh but. yeah.

[guu]

dear future spiral,

a letter for my own reference once i’m not with charles anymore

hey dude! it’s me, you! with an important list of reminders from the past that you cannot forget, okay? so if you’re feeling scared, lonely, questioning your decision to leave, please read this over.

if you’re finding yourself wishing you had charles around, be it for emotional or practical support, i’m here to tell you right here and now on this sunny day of april 27th, 2020, that you need to take off those rose tinted glasses.

we both knew that leaving would mean you’d eventually start to glorify charles at least a bit since this is a HUGE step. (and forward, mind you!)

you’ve entered more than a new chapter in your life; you’re in a completely different story arc, and i’m so fucking proud of you. i’m scared rn about making the change, but look at you; you DID it!! absolute mad lad.

and lemme tell ya, this morning was the one rare time you asked charles if he would take the morning hours and let you sleep in a tad bit. he did respond the night before sweetly, saying ‘of course love’. now lemme remind ya that this morning he responded to ur prodding and calling out to with a resounding fucking nothing. he opened his eyes as u sighed and got up, no doubt stayed up too late playing with jaron. fucking. videos gaem.

anywho!! i AM rambling! let’s get to this sweet list of reminders you need:

first off, you don’t miss having charles’ help. you miss the idea that he may have potentially helped you, but i can say that he barely fucking did, alright? it was drops in the barrel, no, no even that. more accurate to say that every once in awhile when you were completely overwhelmed he would bring a bucket over to the barrel and toss the water out over it, and it’d splash EVERYWHERE, and well, yeah SOME of that water would land in the barrel.

his help quite often left cleanup work, came too late, and made u wish u just did it urself, and you learned to just do it urself. because we knew better.

he’d bitch and moan and groan when we asked him to do things after getting upset when he’d sit on his ass for hours, we’d bring it up again and he’d say ‘oh i forgot’ or ‘yeah yeah i already said i’d do it’ remember that? haha

“oh his cooking was so good...” bitch.... so is urs. u absorbed all his best recipes, u know how to read a recipe now. ur fine.

‘but muh anxiety... he was rly dependable to get things done for me’

no, no sweetheart please... he wasn’t. you really wanted him to be a wall you could lean on, but he wasn’t. any good he did for you did not outweight the bad.

don’t fondly remember that day you came home from work and collapsed on the floor from exhaustion and he came over, took off your shoes, and helped you into bed.

remember those heated “arguments”

notice the p..it’s early the air quotes w/e.

they were always so fucking one sided bc of how stubborn he was that he broke you every time. drove u insane and deeper and deeper into depression.

yes, it was 11 years of ur life u spent together. 11 years in hell bc we didn’t get out sooner. we shared a lot together, we shared our lives, we knew everything abt each other.

he knew how badly u needed to be who you are, a man, and forced you away from it.

i doubt i need to remind u of the real early stuff like how he slowly isolated u from all ur friends when u were pregnant with xander at the ripe young age of fucking seventeen. the 20 yr old creep. yes honey, the gap mattered okay? it was still messed up even if it felt like we were close enough in age u couldnt blame him.

he graduated highschool (and remember he was held back a year) and the next year that fucking sad sack creep picked u up after school, this lil 16 year old, and he shoved you in an evening dress, smeared lipstick on u, and made you a mother before u were ready.

you pulled it off, we love our kids!! yeah!! but don’t let that make u forget that this was poison from the beginning. and it didn’t get better. he just changed in which ways he was awful.

let’s bust out a classic. look at this photograph

aww so sweet! that was a lovely day :)

it was Not. a lovely day. you two traveled behind brooke around the park for the photoshoot while he chewed you out. the whole fucking time. in between photos. he was bitter and pissy. he was a slimy 20 year old scolding you for not being mature enough. i canNOT stress that enough!

now then,

remember all the late bills? all the times geoff came over talking abt back rent bc charles was lazy on payments and never shared the financial shit with u cause he didn’t kno how to do it without stressing u out like mad? remember all the stupid shit he burned money on? it was way more than the 1k gacha, that’s just. that’s just the stupidest.

remember how messy he’d let the house get. bc he wouldn’t be proactive and help u clean. it had to be a giant sweep like, once a month, and he would act so exhausted awaiting ur praise. he’s a fucking SLOB...

boy, idk what else to put here but i think i’ve done a good job for ya. thinkin abt all this stuff while i still have to deal with it is a god damn headache.

i can’t wait to be you.

i’m really fucking proud of you. thank you. thank you. thank you.

thank you.

with endless love,

past spiral

[birdonahotdog]

Honesty I know how you feel... at the end of the movie I couldn’t even form an opinion of it, I was just so emotionally drained and my eyes were swollen from all the crying LMAO. But now I’ve thought about it (haven’t been able to stop) and I have SO MANY things to say 😫 I’d like to hear your thoughts about it when you’re ready

MOOD. spoilers and thoughts below ⬇️

first of all a disclaimer: i’m new to this world?? like i had not seen a single marvel movie (had quite honestly avoided them like the plague) until like...september or october of last yr when i watched captain america after which i (naturally, as i often do) fell into a deep dark hole and let them consume my entire heart and soul. so, my investment n relationship w/these characters and worlds is different! undoubtedly strong and deep, but different than that of ppl who’ve been following these characters for literal yrs. and i make this disclaimer bc i’ve seen a lot of complaints and criticisms abt this movie* from ppl who’ve been in this for yrs and i don’t want to discount their feelings n opinions bc as much as i would 10/10 die for these characters, i still feel like the new kid on the block and idk. [jvn voice] y’know? ANYWAY. 

top ten favorite bits, in order of which i rmr them as i am typing this: 1. CAP PICKING UP THOR’S HAMMER AND THOR’S “I KNEW IT” 2. every time carol came on the screen 🤩3. ON YOUR LEFT!!!!!!!!! BICTH!!!!!!!!!4. avengers...ASSEMBLE!!!!!5. cap’s ‘you gotta be shitting me’ and fighting himself ft. ‘i can do this all day’ ‘yeah. i know.’6. “that is america’s ass.” 7. "and i. am. iron man.” 🤯😫😭8. not to be a hoe but absolutely when steve walked out in that white button down tucked into the jeans w a belt......inconsequential to the storyline but boy oh boy 🥵9. hulk and the stairs sghjfdks10. thor Realizing he’s still worthy :’((((honorable mentions: - hulk dabbing- tony n peter :((((((((((((((((- tony as a dad :’((((((((((((((((- tony and his dad :’((((((((((((((((((- hawkeye and black widow before she jumped 😟

there are so many more that i’m leaving out but i loved it. i genuinely really loved it!!! i cried QUITE literally the entire time lmao (i have felt like pregnant pam w the dog commercial lately anyway, so this was not unexpected and i came prepared with tissues) and have cried several times since just thinking abt it. like yah there was stuff that didn’t make sense or whatever but there’s always stuff that doesn’t make sense in literally everything in the world so w/e, but i thought they closed this chapter really beautifully (although incredibly heartbreakingly) and i feel absolutely dead inside but like, OKAY and satisfied, yk? as satisfied as i could’ve been without everyone living happily ever after and me getting like 40 more movies as every actor ages into senior citizenship and we have a bunch of old wrinkly superheroes (old steve was like...kinda hot?...in a rly confusing way...idk.....no further questions). i knew going in that tony would die, not bc i read spoilers, but bc i just Knew, yk. and i wish with all of my heart that he could’ve gotten to live the life he deserved fully, but i’m grateful he got to see his dad and got to BE a dad and left this world admirably and got to #prove what ppl have questioned abt him for so long. and i’m happy for steve finally getting back some lost time and getting to Live as normal a life as someone who time-traveled to live said life can possibly live. i 100% didn’t expect natasha’s death and she deserved better but i Get it. sorta in the same way that i’m upset abt tony’s death...like i’m furious and i’ll never forgive them for putting me thru that, but i Get it. obviously i have my faves that i am most emotionally invested in and pay attn to the most, so i’d like to see it again (and again and again) and focus more on everything/everyone else so i feel more #complete and like,, have a more balanced view of everyone’s stories and the story overall. anywho. i laughed, i cried, it was better than cats, etc. i still feel like emotionally hungover so i’m sure i’ll have many more thoughts once this wears off lmao.

*pls don’t come to me w them bc altho i respect u having aforementioned complaints and criticisms, i don’t want to know them bc i have a tendency to let ppl ruin things for me and i hate it and don’t want it i just want to bask in my own little world of feelings. ty for ur time. 

[troglobite]

i’m very tired of certain people being perceived as believing/thinking something that’s Too Radical or Reading Too Much Into Something

so the response is to justify the thing they’re responding to as totally normal

and it’s like

okay not every time, but in this moment, the reality is somewhere in between

are these specific people taking it a little too far? yeah.

however, they’re mostly correct in their assessment.

just bc you deem them “irrational” doesn’t make what they’re responding to any different

and for context this is about fucking figure skating twitter drama lol

javi said a shitty thing abt yuzu

people got a liiiiiiittle too defensive (a few ppl, honestly probably bots based on the accounts, got a little threatening in their language without tagging anyone)

but their assessment of what he said is correct

but in response, ppl who think yuzu’s fans are inherently “nuts” or “over enthusiastic” or “always looking for the least charitable reading” just automatically re-interpreted javi’s words and i’m like

......OR you could shut up? and not care? since you literally have given no shits about yuzu or javi at all this entire time?

like i, as a person who loves both of them, am disappointed that javi would say something a little thoughtlessly/carelessly, but i’m also like--idk either of them. so i don’t particularly care any further than “great, more Disc Horse to be had abt yuzu and skating”

like javi was like “eh that hole in the ice didn’t ruin yuzu’s jump” and i’m like oh for fuck’s sake, here we go, more fuel for the assholes who look at a hole in the ice the size of yuzu’s hand right where his take off edge was for the salchow and say “nah that did nothing”

skaters have complained about ice quality before and it’s always been justified. the ice was rough for short track speed skating, too, bc they use the same rink. they kept falling in the SAME CORNERS. 

so clearly the ice wasn’t entirely up to par for either event. most of the time skaters can adjust perfectly fine, and sometimes you get unlucky and don’t have the time to fix it. 

clearly that’s what happened and that’s what yuzu SAID happened--unlucky, he feels fine, it happens, oh well. 

so i’m just very tired of like--all of us going “oh my god that sucks abt that huge hole. i wish they resurfaced the ice more often for the sake of all the skaters! bc any lesser skater might’ve FALLEN bc of that thing!”

and everyone kind of moving on--except for a few like “he’s such a dick, blaming the other skaters!” ....okay. 

we were all done. then javi said a thing. and ppl got upset.

and now everyone’s just like “calm down, clearly javi’s right and yuzu just made a huge error”

OR...we could just believe him (and other skaters like patrick chan) when they say that the ice quality was unlucky. 

idk man i’m tired. like it’s such a simple thing--

it is BOTH that ppl should calm down a bit bc as parasocial as shit is, we don’t know how any of them are together when not in front of cameras

and also that it clearly was a thoughtless/unfounded thing to say and unfortunately within the context that everyone wants to find reasons to say yuzu isn’t the GOAT. lol

alas.

okay i’m done rambling

nope i came back to add this

someone LITERALLY said “idk maybe we should believe skaters???” about what JAVI said when he RETIRED FOUR YEARS AGO

and yuzu did an interview IMMEDIATELY after the short program that HE. SKATED. HIMSELF. and mentioned the hole! he even went back to find the hole. he said he saw it during warmup and tried to avoid it but got the timing/location just wrong enough to hit it exactly. like!!!

~maybe we should believe the skater~ applies to the guy who retired four years ago BUT NOT THE GUY WHO FUCKING DID THE PROGRAM AND SKATED THROUGH THAT MASSIVE HOLE IN THE ICE??????

okay kindly go away and STOP. TALKING.

YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THESE PEOPLE INVOLVED YOU JUST WANT TO BE ANGRY AT PEOPLE YOU DON’T LIKE FOR NO JUSTIFIABLE REASON

god i’m tired.

i’m sorry, i’m autistic and i FUCKING HATE when people are like, demonstrably WRONG. and i won’t engage w them bc that’s clearly what they want but i have to vent this SOMEWHERE. 

[thank-you-pete-archive]

0-44

Okay, i guess I'm answering all of them0- hight:5'3-ish1- virgin:Yup, and i plan to be for the rest of my life as well2- shoe size:Idk who knows that?????3- do i smoke:Nope, i already have breathing problems as is sooo :/4- do i drink:I drink water >:))))But, no, i don't drink alcohol5- do i do drugs:Never done them and never will6- age I'm mistaken for:15-16 idk why but yeah7- Tattoos:Not yet, but i do plan on getting a lot. I already have over 10 planned!!8- want tattoos:Yup, like is said, i would like some when I'm older.9- piercings:Just the classic ear lobes10- want piercings:I would like to get more, but i can't wear a lot of earrings because of the types of metals they use :'(11- best friend:@dragoninabottl312- relationship status:Romantic: not looking 4 anyone, but singlePlatonic: i have a wonder group of friends both irl and on here and i love all of them!! :)13- turn ons:I'm ace14- turn offs:I'm ace15- favorite movie:I fricken lov "Nightmare before Christmas"16- I'll love you if...:Ur nice???17- someone i miss:My grandpa passed earlier this year and i miss him very much18- most traumatic experience:Uhhh, i don't remember it but i got deathly sick when i was a baby, but i think my Grandpa's death has been the most traumatic thing ever to happen to me.19- fact abt my personality:Uhh, i may seem all "what up. Memes and jokes and smiles" but I'm really dead inside :)20- what. Hate most abt myself:Strap in bois, this is gonna b a ride. So, I'm over weight. I'm sad all the dang time for no reason. I can't even talk to people at cash registers. I cry at the stupidest things. I always blame other people for my problems, but I'm literally making problems for myself. I'm stupid, like, i got a couple c's on my report cards last school year. I chew my nails so bad that they never exceed the tips of my fingers. There's a lot more, but ima stop there.21- what i love most abt myself:My hair. I dye it constantly and it's just rly curly so i don't have to do anything with it22- what do i want to be when I'm older:Either an animator/artist or musician23- sibling relationships:The dark one is my only biological sibling and we're pretty close. My step dads 3 daughters feel like actual blood siblings to me. I love them to death (especially baked ziti, shes always been there for me and shes the only family member i feel like i can talk to). My step moms kids a distant because their adults and don't visit very often.24- parent relationships:I'm very close to my mom and step dad. I feel less close with my dad just because we don't see as often. I don't feel like me and my stepmom have any connection. She's very religious alongside her parents, so i don't plan on ever coming out to her. My mom is the only one who knows I'm pan out of my parents.25- perfect date:Idk Olive Garden???26- biggest pet peeves:People who don't respect that I'm not completely comfortable in my body.27- describe the person i like:If this is talking about a crush, i don't have one (except Gerard way, josh dun, and Haley Williams)28- describe the person i dislike the most:He can burn in hell.He made my cry in our class.He's a total ass.That's my little poem about Luke who can frick off :)29- reasons I've lied to a friend:I don't lie anymore and i don't like talking abt it30- what i hate most abt school:First of all, i don't want to cut open a frog thank you vey much :). Second, we're forced to go to pep rally's and my little baby ears hate it. Alan gets panic attacks every time and its awful yeah. I have no school spirit at all because the school drains all the spirit from me.31- what does my last text say:"Haha really funny you replied to me at 4:20 also I couldn't sleep so i was just scrolling through tumblr and then u texted me :/"32- what words upset me the most:Words that sound like my name33- words that make me feel best abt myself:Idk?????34- what i find attractive in women:Idk :/35- what i find attractive in men:Idk :/36- where would i like to live:Chicago37- one of my insecurities:I like how it said one bc we would be here all day if it didn't. My body is probably one of my biggest along with me making a fool of myself in public38- childhood career choice:Vet39- fav ice cream flavor:Mint chocolate ship 4 the win!!!!40- who i wish i could be:Tyler Joseph or Pete Wentz41- where i want to be rn:Not depressed42- last thing i ate:A chocolate cracker43- sexiest person that comes to mind immediately:Josh dun. Don't argue, it's josh dun.44- a random fact abt anything:Some snakes have you do this thing called "braining" their food (if you feed them dead mice). What you have to do is cut open the mouses skull and expose the brain. That's all it is, but some people find it gross :)