#and work just makes me tired and stressed out even more all the time
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
mimikittysblog · 1 day ago
Text
♡21:40♡
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing: Poly! Ateez x Fem! Reader
Genre: Super duper fluffy
Warnings: some mxm, pet names, reader is very sick
A/N: Hope you guys like this as much as you like the texts 🥺💕 tho ngl the ending is a bit meh. Anyways likes, replies and reblogs are so appreciated!
Tagging: @faeprincess777 @starygw3n @bee-gremlin @pinkpearlstar @sweetinsaniiity (if you wanna be tagged in my next poly ateez story, texts or not then please let me know!)
.✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚✧.
You were sick.
Like very sick.
You had been for a while and you really thought it would just go away after some time and with a few cups of good tea. However it was just one of those times where it didn’t and it lead to where you were now.
Flopped on the couch after a long days of work so sick, tired and weak to the point you didn’t even take off your shoes, let alone take a shower.
You knew you should’ve taken the day off and even more so you should’ve informed your lovely 8 boyfriends of your condition. However it was so busy for not only you but your boys this time of year. Your job really needed you around and the boys had to be on their A game.
Not like they weren’t always were. Those boys are so admirable when it comes to their work ethic and determination. It’s one of the things you love about them. It’s just this time of year is when they really have NO room to slack off. So you didn’t have the heart to tell them.
You barely see them around anyway, as they come home late and you leave early. You couldn’t bare the thought of them having to deal with you when they’re already so busy with work, no doubt dealing with so much pressure and stress. Even though deep down you knew they wouldn’t care and would drop anything to make sure you’re okay.
‘Cause you would do the exact same thing.
About an hour after you practically passed out on the couch, Yunho and San arrived home.
Thankfully they were able to get all the work they needed to get done super quick today, so they got home much earlier than usual. As they walked into the living room thats when Yunho spotted you.
He chuckled at how cutely you looked and then pointed you out to San who awed at you. They thought you just got home too and decided to close your eyes for a bit.
“Princess we’re home.” Yunho called sweetly.
“Come on now silly butt, get up so we can shower together.” San said with a big smile at the thought of relaxing under the shower with his lovers.
However you didn’t respond.
They both pouted and furrowed their eyebrows as they got closer. You were asleep? That’s quite unlike you. They knew how much you love a refreshing shower after work then to change into one of their hoodies. Were you that tired?
“..sweetheart?” Yunho said as he crouched down next to the couch. He softly moved your hair out of your face to check up on you.
Just from that very soft touch alone he was able to tell how hot your skin was. His eyes widened and as he looked at San with worry.
“Baby you’re sick??” He asked surprised as he looked back at you wondering how he and the rest had no idea.
“What?” San questioned softly as he crouched next to Yunho.
He then places the back of his hand properly on your forehead. His eyes also then widened with worry as there was no denying it.
You were incredibly sick.
Their hearts clenched at how they truly had no clue how sick you were, how much you needed them and how you didn’t tell them..
.✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚✧.
Yunho: Guys. Come home. Now.
Seonghwa: what why? What’s the matter?
San: Princess is sick. She has such a high fever and from the sound of her breathing her nose is stuffed. She’s literally passed out on the couch rn and god knows what other sicknesses she’s having.
Wooyoung: WHAT?! She didn’t tell us anything! 🥺
Yunho: I know and at this point that doesn’t matter rn. She needs us. Hurry.
After they sent the texts to the rest of them they quickly got to work.
As Yunho picked you up softly and carried you to bed, San prepared a small basin filled with cold water and some towels. As Yunho was undressing you, San brought in the basin and they both started cleaning you as softly as they could.
Truly not long after they started, they heard the front door open and peeked in Jongho, Seonghwa and Wooyoung.
“How bad is it..?” Jongho asked as he softly entered the room with the rest.
“..bad..” Yunho muttered.
Seonghwa then carefully approached you and placed his hand on your forehead too and almost gasped.
“She’s burning up.. Oh God our poor princess..” he said as he softly ran his hand through your hair.
Wooyoung then approached Yunho with a hoodie from their closet and your shorts.
“Thank you love.” Yunho said softly as he gave Wooyoung a kiss on the head and started dressing you as soon as San was sure you were dry.
“Seonghwa hyung and I are gonna go make her some soup. Yeosang is already on his way home, Hongjoong hyung and Mingi are going as fast as they can to finish recording. They’ll be home soon..” He mumbled to the two who arrived home first.
“Okay.. I’ll go help you cook too, you two will watch over her?” San asked
“Yeah of course.” Jongho confirmed as he sat down next to you and softly stroked your hair.
Yunho then nodded as he gave wooyoung another kiss and sent him on his way.
“You’ve eaten Yunho?” Seonghwa asked.
“Uh.. no not yet hyung. We got take out but we haven’t eaten it yet...” Yunho explained as his eyes trailed back down to you.
“Hmm alright.. I’ll make Sannie eat then once he’s done you can eat and San will watch over.” Seonghwa said as he reached over to grab his hand.
“Alright hyung.. thank you..”
“Of course.”
With that he gave yunho’s hand a comforting squeeze then gave jongho a sweet pat on the head before leaving to join the others in the kitchen.
“Could she really not tell us she was this sick..?” Jongho asked softly still stroking your hair.
“I.. don’t know.. we’ll ask her when she’s awake and feeling better.” Yunho replied as he sat down on the bed as well softly holding your hand.
.✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚✧.
As they continued to watch over you, after a while they heard the front door open and some muttering. Soon the door to the room opened again revealing Yeosang.
“Oh princess… she looks so pale..” He muttered as he made his way to her. “Has she not woken up yet?” He asked as he stood beside Jongho.
“No.. we should just let her rest before we wake her up to eat.” Jongho replied.
“Hmm. I bought some medicine on my way home.. Hopefully they’re enough.. if not we can take her to a doctor…” Yeosang informs the two boys as he placed the medicine on a nearby table.
“Thank you Sangie..” Yunho said before continuing to ask if the soup is ready. And right on cue, Wooyoung popped his head in again.
“Soups ready. And yunho baby, Hyung wants you to eat now.” He said.
The lovers in the room then nodded.
As softly as he possibly could, Yunho began to wake you up.
“Princess.. princess.. wake up please..? We need you to eat and take some medicine…” He said oh so softly with some extra soft shakes.
“Baby..? Baaaabbyy..” Yeosang also called out to you.
Your eyes soon started to flutter open as you take in your surroundings. You however closed them again quickly as the headache in your head began.
“Ugh..” you groaned
“Oh baby what is it..? Your head hurts..?” Jongho who was still stroking your hair asked.
You could only nod.
“Honey bun.. do you think you can get up..? You need to eat..” Wooyoung asked
Slowly you opened your eyes again and finally realized your sweet boyfriends were home.
“Wait.. you guys are home? So early..” You muttered, voice so hoarse it made everyone frown.
“Yes we are sweetie.. we’ll talk about that later.. now we should get some yummy food in that belly okay..? Do you think you can get up..?” Yunho replied then asked.
Your head was still pounding and as much as you wanted to try, you knew its best to just stay, so you softly shook your head.
“Okay I’ll tell hyung, come Yunho you still need to eat.” Wooyoung then said as he retreated back to the kitchen.
Yunho didn’t really have an appetite after seeing how sick you were and he wanted nothing more than to just stay and make sure you’re okay. However he knows his boyfriends and even you will scold him if he doesn’t eat. So with that he gave you a soft kiss on the forehead and got up to go eat.
“I’ll be right back okay..? Jongie and Sangie will be right here.. Eat well darling.” He said to you before leaving.
You could only nod back before looking back at your boyfriends.
“When did you guys get home..?” You asked
“Yunho hyung and San hyung got home first and found you.. told us and then I, Wooyoung hyung and Seonghwa hyung quickly got home after that. They just finished cooking your soup.” Jongho explained.
“Hmm I just got home, and I’m pretty sure Mingi and Hongjoong hyung will be home any minute.” Yeosang added.
You then hummed before Seonghwa and San came into the room carrying a tray of a big bowl of soup and some of your favorite tea.
“Hi our darling..” Seonghwa greets you as San puts down the tray in your lap softly.
You weakly smiled at them and began to open your mouth to greet them however Yeosang cut you off.
“Shhh.. don’t talk to much pumpkin.. your voice sounds so hoarse… your throat must be very scratchy and painful hmm..?”
With a soft sigh you nodded.
“Okay then.. lets get some food in you okay? Can I feed you?” San asked
You made some gestures indicating that you could do it yourself however they weren’t having it.
“Let us take care of you. You’re extremely sick okay? Your pouting game will not work tonight honey.” Jongho said
Of course you were outnumbered so you just sighed and opened your mouth to let San feed you as the rest began preparing your medicine.
.✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚✧.
Once your bowl of soup was almost empty, the front door was opened and the footsteps of the last two can be heard. Said two as quickly as they entered the house, quickly entered your room guilt, concerned and sadness evident in their faces.
“Oh princess…” Mingi said as he walked closer
“Baby.. oh you finished your food, good girl. Medicine?” Hongjoong praised then asked with a pet to your head.
“Right here.” Seonghwa said as he gave you the medicine to drink.
Wordlessly you took the medicine and drank some of your tea.
“Okay.. good… How are you feeling now darling?” Hongjoong asks.
“..better..” you said as softly as you could so you wouldn’t harm your throat even more.
“Thats great love..” Mingi said.
Soon the last two that were missing from your bedroom entered again and were pleased to see you finished your food as well. Now all of your boyfriends were here and sitting somewhere in your bedroom.
“Sweetheart..” Seonghwa started as he sat beside you holding your hand. “Why didn’t you tell us you weren’t feeling so well..? You’re so sick.. this must’ve been going on for a while… and none of us had a clue?”
You took a deep breath before carefully replying, being mindful of your throat. “We were so busy… I.. didn’t want to distract you… a-and I thought It’d get better on its own..”
“You still should’ve told us princess.. you know we would’ve taken some time off to help you get better… and you should’ve taken time off yourself.” Yunho chimed in.
“I didn’t think you could afford to spare some time… and my job needed me..” You pouted looking down playing with seonghwa’s fingers.
“Darling… you hurt us… do you not know we’d stop time for you if we could? You know we literally would do anything for you… We 100% would’ve figured out a way to make sure our work still gets done and be able to take care of you… like we always do. I’m sure you know that..” Mingi said.
You looked up at him to see nothing but sincerity in his eyes. As you looked around, you see sincerity in all their eyes.
“I do… I just.. I don’t know… I just really didn’t want to be a bother. I don’t want you guys to be more stressed than you already are and if I caused you guys to fall behind th-“ You were cut off by Wooyoung shushing you.
“Nope. No. You would never be the reason for that. We would never blame you and you know we would reprimand anyone who thinks that. Sweetheart. You’re our precious girlfriend… you would never be a bother to us.” Wooyoung said full of reassurance.
“Baby… We understand. You wanted us to do well and you were worried for us and wouldn’t want to add more stress or something. However like everyone here has said. You’re no burden. No trouble. And especially no bother. We love you and want you healthy and happy alright?” Hongjoong said as he stroked your hair.
You all looked at them and softly nodded. Heart filled with love and you give them a smile that they find so precious.
“Alright. No please promise us you’ll tell us if you’re sick? Even if it’s just the tiniest cough or sneeze, you’ll still let us know? And yes we’ll promise to do the same.” Seonghwa asked.
“Promise. Now all of you cuddle me to sleep please?” You said with a pout and arms out.
Everyone then let out a soft chuckle and nodded.
With that, they got to work to cleaning up your dishes as San scooped you up and carried you to the master bedroom where that room is specifically for big cuddle sessions. and other stuff 👀
San tucked you in as he got in beside you. Soon enough loud footsteps can be heard as a couple of them (Wooyoung, Yunho, Mingi and Seonghwa) were racing to be on the other side of you. Which ended up going to Jongho as he slipped in while the others were still fighting by the door.
Eventually all of them got into a comfortable position.
“I love you all so much.” You mumbled softly into the darkness.
“We love you too our love.” Mingi said softly.
“Get some rest.” Said Yeosang.
“Tomorrow we’ll make you an even better soup!” Wooyoung then exclaimed loudly.
“Sleeeeppp!” Jongho groaned.
With that you all kinda giggled with each other a little bit longer than you would like. Making sleep not as easy but you all really wouldn’t have it any other way.
.✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚✧.
© mimikittysblog 2024
160 notes · View notes
perfectlyoongi · 1 day ago
Text
SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who asked to get to know you first before starting the relationship. before he even met you, Hoseok knew that the person he was looking for would start to be part of his life with a regularity that he would have to make sure you were the ideal person for him. as such, before you even talked about limits and rules, Hoseok invited you to a simple dinner in the hopes of getting to know something more about you. yes, he had your name and knew where you were working; but Hoseok wanted to know more, something that wasn’t as superficial as your age and where you went to school. he wanted to get to know you: Hoseok wanted to know what you liked to do and all the things that made you happy; Hoseok wanted to know what your dream was as a child and how you still wanted to achieve it; Hoseok wanted to know more about you – he wanted to know what your soul was made of. “thank you for agreeing to go out with me. i hope you understand that i am not the only one to benefit from our date. i also want you to get to know me before accepting me.”
SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who arranged a private driver for you. even though Hoseok liked to take you to places and outings himself, there were times when he was too busy or you simply wanted to go somewhere when he wasn’t in town. as such, to alleviate some of your anxiety about being behind a steering wheel, or the nervousness of chasing buses or taxis, Hoseok hired a driver especially for you. at any time, wherever you were, whenever Hoseok couldn’t reach you, he encouraged you to call your driver, knowing perfectly well that, even though you were far from him, you would be safe in the hands of a person he trusted. “i promise to take you on one of those nighttime car trips you love so much. but now i’m about to go into a meeting and i don’t know when i’ll arrive. call him today. tomorrow you are mine.”
SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who is addicted to kissing your skin. for entire mornings, the two of you enjoyed the first rays of sunlight wrapped in sheets of devotion. behind you, kissing every part of you, Hoseok made a point of lingering in this little ritual of yours. one of his hands always held your waist, caressing skin up skin down, while his tender lips sanctified your skin. little by little, as the seconds called out to you, you let your head gently tilt back, eyes closed, smile on your face. Hoseok always knew how to relax every nerve in your body. your shoulder, tired of carrying all the weight of the world – one, two, three kisses; your neck, tired of accumulating all the stress of living – ooooone, twoooooo, threeeeeee kisses; your jaw, tired of eating your emotions – one,two,three kisses; your lips, tired of forcing so many smiles – one, one, one, one, one, two., three…
SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who likes to shop with you. of course, Hoseok always thought of gifts to offer you as a surprise, just to thank you for the simple fact that you were in his life. but what really cheered Hoseok up, what really put a wide smile on his lips and an intense sparkle in his eyes, was when he saw you walking distractedly through the stores, looking intently at everything but him. he couldn’t explain it, and he would never admit it to you, but seeing you in those big stores, walking through aisles of color and texture always thinking about what you might want, what would catch your attention, made Hoseok dream. during this time, when you didn’t mind going for the most expensive shoes, or paid attention to anyone who might be on your side, you seemed to be a part of Hoseok’s life. yes, you have a special relationship and you are present in each other’s lives almost constantly; but there, in control of yourself, just asking Hoseok for the card to pay made him believe that he was worthy of having a life with someone, with you. “tomorrow and friday are my days off. do you want to go buy some clothes so we can go to dinner on friday? you can choose the restaurant this time. see you tomorrow.”
SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who wants to know everything you wanted when you were little so he could gift it to you. a tree house with a sink that actually works for you to wash the fruit you stole straight from the tree. a trip to that theme park just to ride the attraction you never had the chance to experience. the complete barbie movie collection with a doll-sized wardrobe from each film for you to play with in your big gi ant   e n o r m o u s  dollhouse. eat only ice cream for breakfast, tacos for lunch and pizza for dinner all weekend long. even a trip to a country that wasn’t within driving distance. “how many times do I have to tell you? everything, everything, e ve ry thing! don’t hide anything from me. even if it’s impossible.” when Hoseok asked you for everything, he really meant everything. all your dreams would now be lived and your inner child would heal, hug you, and tell you they are so happy you made it this far – you deserved everything.
SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who always asks if you’re okay. after a smile, before a tear, during a silence, Hoseok was always thinking about your well-being. already spending so much time with you, he wanted to believe that he already knew you well enough to pick up on all your little mannerisms that you did when you were less excited. but there were still moments when he pondered. was that smile real? your laugh sounded fake, but your joke slid so smoothly from your mouth. no, that look in your eyes, you weren’t okay. right? better to ask and be greeted with a smile than to ignore that side of you and force you to live when you just want to rest. Hoseok’s priority was you. Hoseok’s priority was your well-being. he just wanted to confirm that he was doing a good job. “you arrived earlier than we agreed. did i get the time wrong? what? your face. your eyes – you can’t look at me. what is it? are you okay?”
SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK that makes you the only person in his life. what else could Hoseok do? what else could Hoseok say? go, tell him. give him exact instructions on how he should treat and love you. tell him word by word, l e t t e r   by   l e t t e r, everything he has to give you. please just say it, tell him. there was no one else Hoseok wanted to please. there was no one else Hoseok wanted to keep in his life. just you. so, give him the exact ingredients so he can create the perfect recipe for loving you. “it’s no big deal. nothing is ever too much when it’s for you. for you, i’m sure i was capable of draining all the water from the oceans for you to build a sand empire just because you want to. i know i would go to the ends of the world if it made you happy, and i would add more to the world if that was what you wanted. please let me love you.”
58 notes · View notes
tunastime · 2 days ago
Note
hiccuping tears into the shoulder + ranchers by chance?
hiccuping tears into their shoulder (1087 words) (x)
For the first time in a good, long portion of his life, Tango despises how silent the night gets. It's not without its natural noise—the balmy, sticky humidity and breeze in the grass, or the crickets, the cicadas quieting down, the sounds of animals rearranging themselves to a comfier sleeping arrangement. He should be doing the same, but he's sitting on the edge of the bed, his spine a rigid line. He can feel the blood in his body, he can feel the spaces where his muscles connect to each other, with every breath he can feel his lungs separate out the oxygen. It's at the very least startling, and at the very most, he feels like he might dissolve on the spot if touched. 
Tango knows how death feels—painless respawn and a few seasons of a life game behind him, but to feel someone else die, too. The echo of death alongside your own. He didn't like that! Not good at all. All his blood and heartbeat-y things are rushing around in his ears. He doesn't even hear Jimmy the first time he speaks up from the other side of the bed, with how his voice scrapes out.
"I didn't know they were aiming for us," Jimmy says.
"Of course not," Tango says, furrowing his eyebrows. "I know you didn't."
He's still looking at his hands, running his thumb over the lines in his palm and pushing into the tiny bones and muscle there. Jimmy flexes his hands like he can feel the pressure and bones moving around. He watches him fold his hand tight around each other and slump, pulling his shoulders to his chest. His breath squeezes in his chest as Jimmy deflates tiredly.
"I just don't want you to think—"
"I'm not gonna think this is your fault, alright?" Tango says, frowning at him. "Why would I?"
Jimmy sighs. His jaw works.
"Cause it usually is," he grits. Tango scrunches his nose on instinct, recoiling out of habit before he manages:
"That's not fair, man."
"This whole game isn't far!" Jimmy huffs, waving a hand about.
"Sure but—"
"But nothing, Tango. I just—I can't lose and drag you with me. That's more than not fair."
"I don't care."
"I care."
Before Tango can argue, though, he tastes the faintest hints of anger and frustration at the back of his mouth fade. He watches Jimmy's face contort as he tries to come up with a better sentence, something he probably thinks Tango deserves. Maybe an apology. 
Tango just looks at him. He kind of feels bad, that little bit of gut wrenching cold that trickles in, but mostly he's just confused. Jimmy's words bat around in his brain like dust particles. Dust bunnies. He definitely assumed they were done with this. That maybe Jimmy made peace like he did—though really he hadn't had that much time to make peace, if he's being honest. He's still bitter. He's sure a lot of people are still bitter. But in terms of Jimmy's whole situation? It's not like it could be helped. They just had to be careful. So Tango was being careful, and Jimmy was taking what Tango thought was a calculated risk, so he was mad, sure, but he couldn't really stay mad for a long time. So he takes a long breath and sighs it out his nose. It still tastes surprisingly reminiscent of smoke.
"So what are we going to do?" he asks softly. Jimmy inhales.
"I don't know," he says. "Go to bed? Wake up and start planning?"
Tango hums plainly. He likes that idea. The small spool of feeling in his chest that must belong to Jimmy gives a little tug, like it wanted to take him down with it. 
"Yeah," Tango says, voice coming hoarse. "Yeah, I think so."
For a moment, Tango runs his tongue over his teeth, runs his thumbs over the seams of his knees. He sighs, and then he leans into Jimmy's shoulder with a definitive huff. He's tired. From the ache in his bones, to the breathlessness of dying, to just taking in Jimmy's stress. Man. He's exhausted. Jimmy snorts quietly. He feels him press his cheek against Tango's head. The hand Jimmy had been fiddling with in his lap ends up at the base of his spine, splayed over the fabric. Tango squeezes his eyes shut.
"Thanks Tango," Jimmy says shakily. He sounds like he's on the knife's edge of crying, so Tango fumbles out a hand and lands it solidly on his knee. It's not a terribly comfortable thing to stretch one of his achy shoulders or biceps that far but he does anyway, and Jimmy huffs out a damp laugh. "Guess I'm just... pissed off."
Tango snorts.
"If you think you're pissed, just wait until they rile me up," he says into the fabric of Jimmy's shirt. Jimmy laughs. Tango tries to hold in a grin that he also smothers into his shoulder, but fails. Jimmy's hand skips over his knuckles and squeezes the hand on his knee.
"Sure thing, Rancher," he teases. Tango makes a half-suppressed noise of indignation, squeaking as he bolts upright. He nearly knocks into Jimmy's jaw as he untangles himself with all the grace of a cat trying to weasel out of someone's arms. 
"I'm just sayin'," he grumbles, crinkling his nose. "You seem like you're in a better mood though."
Jimmy sighs, rounding out his shoulders. 
"Think so," he says, working his cheek between his teeth. Tango feels the sensation of prodding in his mouth. Bleh. "Think so."
"Probably a good idea to make good on that sleeping... thing,” he says, reaching up to scrub at his eyes. He barely stifles a yawn as Jimmy stretches, twisting his tall body around in a way that feels surprisingly pleasant to Tango’s stiff muscles. He can’t imagine, especially with the way Jimmy holds all his emotions in his shoulders, that his upper back is doing him any favors. Jimmy makes a little noise in confirmation as Tango turns, attempting to make ample space for him in the small bed. He knows they’ll end up back to back at some point, but as he lies down, shoulder to shoulder, an easy comfort rolls over him. Sure there’s all the red blood rushing around in his ears, and sure he feels it right up on his skin like a bad rash, but for now, next to Jimmy, he shuts his eyes.
They’ll make this time count for something, at least.
59 notes · View notes
tearsofellen · 12 hours ago
Text
situationship - carmy berzatto x reader
Tumblr media
situationship
noun
a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established.
Where one person wants a relationship, but the other person doesn't and they're having sex with each other.
Carmy and you have begun seeing each other after both of your late-night shifts. You both share each other passion for the culinary arts, him in cooking and you in baking. While you have been enjoying his company, the thought of what the two of you were bubbled in the back of your mind. You both lead very stressful lives and the idea of being in a relationship scares you too much to ever consider it. But when Carmy admits he’s falling for you, the vulnerability between you both becomes undeniable. Faced with the possibility of something more, you wrestle with the fear that it might pull you both apart
Contains: Angst
Words: 3680
A/N: yes, the reader is a baker. yes this storyline is one of many similar stories but honestly, I've never loved a dynamic more don’t @ me.
Tumblr media
After another long night at the bakery, you slide off your apron, still dusted with flour and the faint scent of freshly baked bread clinging to you. As you locked up the bakery you felt his presence behind you.  Carmy’s waiting for you outside, leaning against the wall with his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his face shadowed in the streetlight glow. The small glow from his cigarette dangling from his mouth lightened his face. You know he’s tired too, worn from the brutal hours at the restaurant, but he gives you a small smile when he sees you. You’ve fallen into a routine—meeting up after your shifts, talking in the quiet dark, sharing pastries and leftovers from the night, finding comfort in the company of someone who gets it.
You walk down the street together, sometimes talking about the night’s chaos, sometimes in a companionable silence. Tonight, you asked him about the outcome of his chicken piccata as he talked through changes he made to perfect it. You reach his place, and without words, you both step into his barely-furnished apartment. The emptiness is a familiar comfort. Carmy kicks off his shoes, and you pull a couple of leftover pastries from your bag, placing them on the counter. You would never ask Carmy to cook for you, even though he has persisted many a times.  There’s no real plan—there never is—but somehow it works for both of you.
You pull out a plain brioche from the bag and hand it to him, watching as he takes a bite. His eyes flutter shut, and he lets out a low groan, the sound slipping out as if he’d forgotten you were there. You can’t help but smile as he leans back against the counter, savoring each bite like it’s the first real food he’s had all day.
“You added more eggs?” he asks, looking at you through half-lidded eyes, his voice softer, like he’s savoring more than just the bread. There’s a warmth there, something rare in him, almost tender.
You nod, still smiling. “Thought it’d give it a little more richness. Guess it worked.”
Carmy lets out a small laugh, shaking his head in that way he does when he’s impressed but doesn’t want to admit it. “Swear, you make the best baked goods in Chicago,” he says, his voice carrying a rough sincerity that catches you off guard.
You raise an eyebrow, leaning back against the counter opposite him, crossing your arms as you meet his gaze. “Coming from you? That’s high praise,” you tease, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. But you also feel a knot tighten in your chest—this thing between you two feels good, too good. And you’re not sure where that leaves you.
He looks away for a moment, the casual confidence flickering, replaced by something a little darker, a little hesitant. “Nah, I mean it,” he says, his voice softer. “You know, if I could bake like you…” He trails off, his eyes downcast, as if he’s lost in a thought he’s not sure he wants to share. His words crush you, the blindness to see how talented he is.
Carmy’s eyes linger on you, something unreadable flickering beneath the exhaustion. Then, without a word, he steps closer, his gaze fixed on you like he’s finally found the courage to say what he couldn’t before. Slowly, deliberately, he leans in and brushes his lips against the corner of your mouth. The kiss is barely there, light as a whisper, but it sends a pulse through you, both familiar and brand new.
You let out a soft breath, and for a heartbeat, you’re both suspended in this moment, standing there in the quiet intimacy of his dim kitchen, the glow of streetlights casting faint shadows on the walls. He pauses, his forehead resting lightly against yours, his breaths shallow. His eyes find yours, intense yet hesitant, and you see the silent question lingering there—Is this okay?
Without waiting for him to overthink it, you tilt your head, closing the gap between you again, this time more certain, more wanting. Your hands rise to his jaw, your thumbs brushing against the stubble as you pull him in. He sighs softly into the kiss, letting his guard slip, the tension melting from his shoulders as his hands settle at your waist, gentle but grounding.
He tastes faintly of cigarettes and coffee, rough around the edges, but it only makes him feel more real, more him. His fingers curl slightly into your shirt, pulling you closer, and his kiss deepens, a quiet intensity beneath it, as if he’s pouring everything he can’t say into this single, shared breath. You feel his exhaustion in every movement, in the way he clings to you just a little tighter, like he’s afraid this moment will disappear if he lets go.
He pulls back, just enough to look at you, his face softened, his eyes softer than you’ve ever seen them. He’s breathing hard, but his expression is raw and open, a rare vulnerability slipping through his guarded exterior.
“I—” He stops, as if he doesn’t trust himself to keep going. You can see the struggle in his eyes, the effort it takes him to let down even a fraction of the walls he’s built. His thumb traces small, absentminded circles along your side, grounding himself.
“You don’t have to say anything,” you whisper, gently running a hand through his hair, letting him know that he doesn’t have to be anything other than what he is, right here, right now.
“This… us…,” he murmurs, his voice low and hoarse. “I want this to be more than… whatever we’re doing right now.”
The words hit you harder than you expected, and a part of you aches at his honesty, his vulnerability. But there’s a knot of doubt tightening in your chest, one you can’t ignore. You pull back, just enough to create a sliver of space between you, and shake your head.
“Carmy, I don’t… I don’t think it’ll work,” you say, voice barely above a whisper. “We’re both too wrapped up in our own worlds. You’re at that restaurant every waking hour, and I’m at the bakery. It’s—this isn’t workable.”
He stares at you, his brows knitting together, a flash of hurt crossing his face before it hardens into something more desperate. “No. No, I don’t buy that,” he says, a raw edge to his voice. “You think I don’t know how much you love what you do? I get it. I’m the same way, and I’m still here, wanting this.”
You shake your head, frustration and a pang of sadness welling up inside you. “You don’t get it, Carm. It’s not just about wanting it. We’re both so… driven, so wrapped up in what we do, that there’s no room for anything else. We’d be pulling each other apart.”
His jaw tightens, and he takes a step closer, his hands still gripping your arms, holding on as if he’s afraid you’ll slip away. “I don’t believe that,” he insists, his voice trembling. “I know I’m all-in with the restaurant, but I’m not blind to this. I know what we have here, and I’m not ready to just walk away from it. Don’t… don’t tell me it wouldn’t work without even trying.”
You close your eyes, your heart pounding, his words striking at the walls you’re trying to put up. “Carmy, you’re already on the edge. You’re exhausted every night, and so am I. How much more can we take on? If we get closer, if this turns into something serious, it’ll just… complicate things. And I don’t want to be another thing that drains you, that wears you down.”
He lets out a frustrated breath, his hands dropping to his sides as he steps back, his face contorted with a mixture of anger and hurt. “You think you’d drain me?” he says, practically begging you to see things his way. “You’re one of the few things that makes any of this worth it. Do you get that? I spend all day, every damn day, feeling like I’m just barely keeping it together, but when I’m with you, I actually… I actually breathe.”
His words hang in the air, raw and exposed, and it’s clear how much he’s putting on the line. You want to reach out, to take his hand, but the doubt won’t let go. “I’m not saying I don’t feel something for you, Carm,” you say softly, trying to keep your voice steady. “I just… I’m scared that this will just become another thing you end up resenting when it gets hard. And you and I both know how that goes.”
Carmy’s fists clench at his sides, his gaze locked on yours, his eyes almost pleading. “Please. Just… please, don’t shut this down before we even have a chance. I’m trying here. I know I’m a mess, but I’m trying.” His voice breaks a little, and he shakes his head, his expression desperate. “You think I don’t worry about this too? About what it could do to us? But I’d rather try and make it work than regret not even giving it a shot.”
You shake your head, the weight of his words lingering in the air, but the reality of what you're asking him to do presses down on you. Your heart aches as you step back, putting space between you two, as if distance will make this easier. But it doesn’t. It only makes it harder.
“I can’t do this right now, Carmy,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper, strained, the words leaving your mouth like they’re coated in regret. “I just… can’t.”
The look in his eyes is like a punch to the chest—hope and desperation all tangled up, like he’s waiting for you to change your mind. But you can’t. You already know how much this will hurt both of you. You take a shaky breath, pulling yourself together even though it feels like you’re falling apart.
Without waiting for him to respond, you grab your bag, trying not to meet his gaze. “I’ll see you around,” you manage to say, voice shaky as you step toward the door. But before you reach the handle, you hear his voice, quieter this time but still full of that urgency.
“Don’t walk away from this, please.”
You don’t look back. You can’t. You step out into the cold night air, the door closing softly behind you.
As you make your way home, your chest feels heavy, like you’re carrying an anchor. It’s hard to breathe, and your mind keeps replaying the last few minutes—the kiss, his words, the way his face twisted with hurt, desperation, and longing. But you couldn’t—you couldn’t—let it happen, not when you know how much it could destroy.
Once you’re home, you try to shake it off, try to ignore the way your heart aches. But the ache doesn’t go away. In the silence of your room, you crawl into bed, trying to sleep. You manage to close your eyes, but sleep doesn’t come easily. And then, your phone buzzes—one message. You pick it up, and it’s from Carmy.
“you are my favourite person. you make everything worth it”
 Your heart stutters. You clutch the phone to your chest, feeling the weight of his words hit you all over again. You don’t know how to respond. How could you? He’s asking you to step into something that could break you both. And yet… his words cling to you like they have their own gravity.
Eventually, you force your eyes shut and try to sleep, but it feels impossible. Every time you start to drift off, his face pops into your mind, and you’re back there again—back to that moment in his kitchen, the rawness of his words, the hunger in his eyes.
The next morning, you wake to the harsh sound of your alarm ringing at 4 AM, your body aching from exhaustion but knowing you have to get up. The bakery won’t open itself, and the hours of work ahead of you keep your mind busy. You roll out of bed, washing up quickly before pulling on your apron and heading downstairs. The familiar smells of dough, sugar, and flour fill the air as you prepare for the day’s bake. Your hands move through the motions, mind drifting despite your best efforts to focus.
But when you walk into the bakery, you freeze. There, standing in the doorway, is Carmy. He’s leaning against the wall, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, looking just as worn and exhausted as the night before. But there’s something else there now—a determination that cuts through the exhaustion, a silent resolve.
"Can we talk?" he asks, voice softer than you expect.
You swallow hard, staring at him for a long beat before nodding. You don’t know what else to do, and despite everything, there’s a part of you that wants to hear him out.
You step aside, letting him into the dark, deserted bakery. The kitchen lights flicker on as you walk past him, the quiet hum of the refrigerator and ovens filling the silence. He follows you in, his steps tentative, unsure.
Once inside, he leans against the counter, hands still deep in his jacket pockets, looking out of place in the quiet emptiness of the bakery. You begin your prep—kneading dough, measuring flour—but you’re acutely aware of his presence, the air thick with things unsaid. Finally, when you can’t stand the silence any longer, you look up at him.
“What is it, Carmy?” you ask, your voice unsteady.
He’s quiet for a long moment, his eyes not quite meeting yours, studying the counter like it holds all the answers. Finally, he takes a breath, running a hand through his messy hair.
He’s quiet for a long moment, his eyes not quite meeting yours, studying the counter like it holds all the answers. Finally, he takes a breath, running a hand through his messy hair.
“I don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for,” he starts, his voice low but clear. “But I don’t know how to walk away from you. I know we’re both stuck in our worlds, but…” He pauses, his gaze flicking up to meet yours. “I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something here worth fighting for.”
Your heart twists. You feel the weight of his words, the sincerity that bleeds through even as he stands there, vulnerable and unsure. You keep your focus on the dough, pretending to be absorbed in it even though you can feel his eyes on you, waiting.
“I don’t know what to think,” he continues, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m asking for a chance. Just a shot. I know what it’s like to want something so bad you can feel it, but I don’t want to live the rest of my life wondering what would’ve happened if I hadn’t tried. Please, just… just tell me I’m not crazy for feeling this way.”
His voice falters, and it feels like the room shrinks around you. You can hear the vulnerability in him, the way he’s baring himself just for you. Carmy’s breath catches in the silence, and the weight of his gaze presses on you until it feels suffocating.
His words hang in the air, like a challenge you don’t know if you can meet. You feel your heart tug in response, the truth of what he’s saying pulling you in even though your mind is screaming at you to be cautious, to keep the distance. The space between your bodies feels impossibly small, but you remain still, your hands working the dough almost mechanically, as if you can control the moment by staying focused on something—anything—else.
But Carmy doesn’t give you the space you’re looking for. Without warning, his hand shoots out, grabbing your wrist firmly, pulling your arm away from the dough. Your breath hitches in surprise as his fingers curl around you, the warmth of his touch searing through your skin.
“Look at me,” he demands softly, his voice a breathless plea.
You lift your eyes to meet his, and the vulnerability in his gaze is more than you can bear. He takes a slow breath, his chest rising and falling with the effort, before he finally says the words that you’ve been dreading, and yet somehow needing to hear.
“I think I’m falling in love with you,” he says, his voice thick, almost cracking. His words are out before he can stop them, and you can see the rawness of them—how much he means it. “But I think the day I saw you, I knew something was going to change.”
The air between you is charged now, electric. Your heart races in your chest, and for the first time, you’re no longer fighting the pull between you. His eyes are searching yours, looking for some kind of answer, some reassurance that this isn’t all just a fantasy to him. The room feels impossibly small, the weight of the moment pressing down, but it’s not a weight you want to escape.
Before you can say anything, your hands move on their own, pulling him toward you, your lips crashing into his with a force that surprises you both. His hand slides into your hair, the other slipping around your waist, pulling you closer, as if he can’t bear even a sliver of distance between you. The kiss is hungry, desperate, all the words neither of you can say poured into it, all the fear, the longing, the possibility of something more.
You taste the rawness of him—coffee, cigarettes, the trace of exhaustion—and it only makes him feel more real, more human. Your hands tangle in his shirt, pulling him tighter, as if you could make the moment last forever, as if you could erase all the doubts that have lingered between you.
The kiss deepens, and you feel his body pressed against yours, the heat of him seeping through the space between your clothes. There’s no room for anything else now—no bakery, no restaurant, no walls between you. Just this. Just him.
When you finally pull back, both of you panting, eyes searching each other’s faces as if trying to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions rushing through both of you, you realize that this is it. There’s no turning back now.
“I’m not crazy, am I?” Carmy whispers, his voice shaky with something close to hope, but tinged with doubt.
You shake your head slowly, your heart in your throat. “No,” you whisper back, barely able to breathe. “You’re not crazy.”
He laughs, the sound low and rich, burying his head into your neck as his arms wrap around you, pulling you close. You feel the warmth of his breath against your skin, and for a moment, everything else fades away. "I’m going to make this work, I swear, baby." The words are soft but firm, wrapped in the kind of sincerity that makes your heart ache with a gentle kind of joy.
You smile, feeling his words settle deep in your chest, and kiss him gently on the cheek, your lips lingering just a moment longer than necessary. “Now get out, I’ve got ten dozen croissants to make before 7am.” Your voice is teasing, but there's a tenderness behind it, a quiet promise that everything will be okay.
He lifts his head, his dark eyes searching yours, a playful spark dancing there. "You don’t need help?" he asks, eyebrow raised, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, like he's already planning to do whatever it takes to stay by your side. Without waiting for your response, he’s already rolling up his sleeves, his movements so effortless, so sure.
You roll your eyes, but you can’t suppress the laugh that escapes, the sound bubbling up from somewhere deep inside. “Fine," you concede with a mock sternness, but your heart is fluttering. "But follow my instructions and don’t change any of the ingredients, Berzatto." You half threaten, the words playful but laced with affection, like a gentle challenge.
He smirks, "Yes, ma’am," his voice rich with amusement, before he turns toward the sink. The soft sound of water running fills the kitchen, but all you can focus on is the way he moves—confident, but somehow always a little clumsy in the best way. When he turns back, you can’t help but laugh softly at the sight of flour already dotting his clothes and smudging his face from your make out session.
You watch him, your heart warming at the sight of him trying so hard, his smile a little sheepish but full of that genuine joy that you’ve come to love. There’s something about him in this moment—so real, so raw, and so undeniably him and it makes you feel like the luckiest person in the world.
You shake your head, unable to stop your own smile from spreading wider. He looks like a mess, but in the best way, and for the first time in a long while, everything feels so right.
And as you stand there, the soft hum of the bakery in the background, the smell of fresh dough filling the air, you realize that despite the chaos of your worlds, despite the unknowns that lie ahead, you wouldn’t change a thing. And you know, without a doubt, that this is only the beginning.
41 notes · View notes
peppymintdreams · 16 hours ago
Note
desperately need a fic of pickle who hasnt been sleeping for a while and isaac notices
Ofcourse my child
Insomnia Who?
Isaac Rhoades x Pickle
Pickle has been really sleep deprived and who better than Isaac the insomniac pot calling the kettle black
Isaac sat at his desk, eyes scanning over the case files spread out before him, but his focus kept drifting. Across the room, Pickle was curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, their face illuminated by the soft glow of a tablet. Isaac had noticed something over the past few days—small things at first, barely perceptible, but now impossible to ignore.
Pickle was exhausted.
At first, Isaac had chalked it up to stress or a busy week, but now he could see it in the way they moved—sluggish, as though the weight of sleepless nights was dragging them down. Dark circles had begun to form under their eyes, and even now, as they sat with the tablet in hand, their head kept nodding forward, as if their body was on the verge of surrendering to sleep, but they just wouldn’t let it.
Isaac closed his file and set it aside, his gaze fixed on them. "Pickle," he called softly, breaking the silence of the room.
Pickle blinked, lifting their head as if they had just been caught drifting off. "Huh? Yeah?" they mumbled, sitting up a bit straighter, clearly trying to seem more alert than they actually were.
Isaac frowned, his brows knitting together. "How long has it been since you’ve had a good night’s sleep?"
Pickle waved a hand dismissively, though their expression didn’t match their nonchalance. "I’m fine. Just a little tired, that’s all."
Isaac wasn’t buying it. He stood up, crossing the room and sitting beside them on the couch. "A little tired?" he echoed, raising an eyebrow. "You’ve been like this for days. When’s the last time you slept properly?"
Pickle hesitated, their eyes darting away as they pulled the blanket tighter around themselves. "I don’t know... a few nights ago? I’ve just been... restless. It’s no big deal."
Isaac sighed, his hand finding Pickle’s and giving it a gentle squeeze. "It’s a big deal if you’re not taking care of yourself," he said, his tone soft but firm. "You’re running yourself into the ground, and I’m worried about you."
Pickle bit their lip, their shoulders slumping as they leaned back into the couch. "I don’t know why I can’t sleep," they admitted, voice small. "Every time I try, my mind just keeps racing. I keep thinking about everything I need to do, or everything I should’ve done, and then suddenly it’s morning, and I haven’t slept at all."
Isaac’s expression softened as he listened. He knew that feeling all too well—the weight of responsibilities and endless thoughts keeping you awake at night, despite your body begging for rest. "Why didn’t you tell me?" he asked gently. "You don’t have to go through this alone."
Pickle sighed, leaning their head against his shoulder. "I didn’t want to bother you. You’ve been so busy with work, and I didn’t want to make a fuss over something like this."
Isaac wrapped an arm around them, pulling them closer. "You’re not a bother," he murmured. "You never are."
They sat there in comfortable silence for a few moments, the warmth of Isaac’s embrace easing some of the tension from Pickle’s body. Finally, Isaac spoke again, his voice quiet but resolute. "You need sleep, Pickle. You can’t keep going like this."
"I know," Pickle mumbled, their eyes fluttering shut against Isaac’s shoulder. "But I don’t know how to stop all the thoughts."
Isaac pressed a soft kiss to the top of their head, his hand gently rubbing their arm. "Let me help," he said. "I’ll stay with you, okay? You’re not alone in this. We’ll get through it together."
Pickle didn’t say anything, but Isaac could feel them relax slightly against him. After a few more minutes of silence, Isaac shifted, pulling back just enough to look them in the eye. "Come on," he said, his voice gentle but leaving no room for argument. "We’re going to bed. No more tablet, no more distractions. Just rest."
Pickle opened their mouth to protest, but Isaac shook his head. "No arguments," he said with a soft smile. "I’m your personal sleep enforcer tonight."
Despite their exhaustion, Pickle chuckled at that, a small, tired laugh that made Isaac’s heart ache for them. "Fine, fine," they relented, letting him guide them up from the couch.
Isaac led them to the bedroom, making sure the space was calm and comfortable. He turned off the overhead light, leaving only the soft glow of the bedside lamp. Pickle climbed into bed, and Isaac joined them, pulling the covers up over both of them.
He wrapped an arm around them, pulling them close, their head resting on his chest. "Just focus on my breathing," Isaac murmured softly. "Let your mind relax. You’re safe, you’re here, and nothing else matters right now."
Pickle let out a deep sigh, their body sinking into the mattress as they finally began to let go of the tension that had been holding them captive for days. Isaac continued to hold them, his hand gently stroking their back in soothing circles, his own heartbeat steady beneath their ear.
Slowly but surely, Pickle’s breathing evened out, and before long, the exhaustion they had been fighting off for so long finally overtook them.
Isaac stayed awake a little longer, just watching over them, relieved to see them finally resting. He pressed another soft kiss to their forehead, whispering, "Sleep well," before closing his own eyes and letting sleep take him too.
24 notes · View notes
writingtraumaforever · 2 days ago
Text
Uncontrolled Chaos: Chapter 7
Notes: Shadow is a butthole… but he’s also going through a lot.
Summary: Sonic tries to get to know this new Shadow. Little does he know that his work is cut out for him.
Chapter Select!
Support my Ao3!
Start:
Tails leaves not too long after their initial conversation, wanting to get started on his research as soon as possible. He’ll likely need Shadow over to help eventually, but for now? Shadow needs to rest and regain his strength. It’s possible his Chaos Energy will be needed for any of this to work, so he needs to replenish as much as possible.
So Shadow stays in his home to rest, Sonic agreeing to stay as well and keep an eye on him. Shadow is certainly tired and understands that they want to keep a him under close surveillance, so he doesn’t pitch a fit over it. What does annoy him, however, is the constant feeling of emerald eyes latched onto him.
He’s constantly being observed, stared at by that blue faker’s fake. It’s getting old. And even as he lays on his couch with his eyes shut trying to rest, he knows if he opens his eyes, he’ll find emerald still watching. Still waiting..
So he doesn’t open his eyes.
Instead, he just gives a huff and gruffs out, “If you’re going to stare, at least get whatever it is you have in your system out.”
This Sonic has been so affected by all of this. So stressed and worried. It’s obvious there’s more to him than he’s telling. And Shadow is getting tired of pretending he hasn’t noticed.
He hears Sonic move after a moment, the blue hedgehog shuffling closer now, Shadow peeking his eyes open to watch him.
Sonic looks at the couch Shadow lays on, thinking better of sitting on it with him after a pause and moving to the loveseat To the left of him instead. He sighs heavy when he sits, forcing his moving body to finally sit still. He leans forward, his elbows rested on his knees with his hands dangling between them and his eyes settling right back on Shadow.
Shadow just looks back at him, eventually quirking a brow as if to prod him to speak.
“Right..,” Sonic says after a moment, a little nervous but friendly smile on his muzzle, “Okay, so—.. I guess what’s buggin’ me is I… don’t know anything about you.”
“Mm..,” Shadow hums, closing his eyes once more and facing his head towards the ceiling again from where he lays, “What’s so wrong with that??”
“Well, multiple things really,” Sonic answers, a breathy chuckle coming from him, “For one, I’d like to know what sort of life this universe’s Shadow just dropped himself into the middle of..”
“He’s safe,” Shadow assures, opening his eyes again to look back to Sonic and show he means it, “He’s with friends.. or the closest things he has to them.”
“See— I like when you say he’s safe, but then you follow it up with stuff like that, and it worries me,” Sonic’s smile becomes a bit uneasy, rubbing his gloved hands together as a nervous tick.
Shadow groans a bit at this, his own hands resting on his stomach, the bandage still in place even though Shadow is fairly certain it’s no longer needed.
“It’s-… complicated,” Shadow tries, motioning a hand in the air above him before resting it on his head over his eyes, “But he’s being taken care of. The people who will find him will make sure he’s alright, and they most likely will figure out pretty quickly that he doesn’t belong with them.”
Sonic nods a bit at this, looking down at the ground in a pondering sort of way before lifting his eyes again to Shadow.
“What-… what is your life like..? Over there??”
Shadow huffs at that, a small, mirthful smirk growing on his lips as he grumbles, “Tragic.”
Sonic instantly frowns at this, brows knitting up as he scoots a bit closer to the edge of his seat, “What do you—“
“I don’t mean he’s gonna be miserable,” Shadow clarifies with an annoyed huff, “He’ll be fine. I have simply lived through quite a lot in my time..”
“My Shadow has too..,” Sonic points out quietly— not sure if it’s the same as this Shadow’s trauma, but it’s certainly nothing to scoff at or dismiss.
“Seems that’s my lot in every universe,” Shadow grumbles, lifting his hand from his eyes and looking at the ceiling again.
“You’re not very optimistic, huh??” Sonic says with a sideways smirk, tilting his head at the ebony hedgehog.
“I’m realistic,” Shadow clarifies with insult in his tone, “And realistically? I’m forced to bear the burden of many troubles and large responsibilities.. and be haunted by them for eternity.”
“Sheesh,” Sonic’s eyes roll with a chuckle, “Melodramatic much??”
Shadow turns his head to Sonic at this, glaring at him now in offense, “I am not melodramatic. You don’t know the shit I’ve been through—“
“Woah, woah- easy, Tiger..,” Sonic giggles out awkwardly, holding his hands up to try and chill Shadow out some, “Wasn’t trying to get you worked up… it’s just.. weird seeing you like this.”
Shadow’s brows furrow at that, “Like what??”
Sonic motions a hand to all of Shadow before shrugging and, “That. All grumpy and doom and gloom and just… angry.“
“I’m not angry,” Shadow growls, the only response he gets in return being Sonic quirking a brow at him in a silent ‘oh really??’
Shadow huffs. Looks back to the ceiling with his arms crossed a bit tighter over his chest, “I’m frustrated. It’s different.”
“Why are you frustrated??”
“Oh gee, let’s recap, shall we?? I have been thrown into a familiar yet unfamiliar environment, woke up to my personal space being invaded and feeling severe exhaustion all over. Then I find out I’m stuck in some damn universe where I’m apparently some sort of soft, pathetic excuse of the Ultimate Lifeform—“
“Hey! Shadow is not—“
“The fate of myself and multiple worlds is potentially now in the hands of a child. And instead of doing anything productive to help, I’m having to lay here and rest— which I can’t even do because a certain insolent, annoying hedgehog won’t leave me be.”
Shadow’s eyes find Sonic’s again, glaring with a grit in his teeth at the blue hedgehog—
But instead of finding his rival smirking back with an equal glare as he usually would.. he finds Sonic frowning.
Knitted brows and parted lips with the most upset expression Shadow thinks he’s ever put on Sonic’s face. It makes Shadow stumble a bit in his annoyance for this hedgehog, but he stands his ground. His arms stay crossed and his glare remains.
Sonic stares a moment, his ears flattened to his quills before he eventually looks away with a small frown.
Shadow doesn’t feel guilty. He doesn’t.
“Look..,” Sonic says quietly after a pause, “I’m-.. real sorry all this is happening.”
It’s not Sonic’s fault.
“I’ll just.. I’ll let you be. If you need anything, I’ll be around.”
Sonic stands then, Shadow watching him in silence. He doesn’t stop him. His voice feels like it’s suddenly caught in his throat. He wants to say something. Apologize for his childish behavior. Tell him he doesn’t blame him for this.
But he doesn’t.
Sonic exits the room and Shadow releases a long, heavy sigh as his hand lifts once again to rest over his closed eyes.
He doesn’t know why he’s being extra moody.. and even worse, he doesn’t know why Sonic isn’t bantering him like he typically would. It’s throwing off their whole.. whatever you would call it—rivalry??? Dynamic?? Either way, Shadow doesn’t like how it makes him feel..
He’s already feeling shitty as is. It’s his fault any of this is even happening, and all because he was reckless with Chaos Energy. He should’ve known better. He should’ve thought before he acted.
He’s making that mistake a lot lately, it seems..
He’s already been the cause of mass destruction more times than he’d like to admit.. he can’t handle being the cause of it again..
He has to fix this.
“…Fuck.”
18 notes · View notes
rieha · 1 year ago
Text
I want to read, I want to write, I want to draw, I want to play games, I want to clean, I want to learn a new skill, I want to create, I want to-
4 notes · View notes
apocalypticdemon · 3 months ago
Text
I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
7 notes · View notes
bunnyboy-juice · 1 month ago
Text
;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
5 notes · View notes
swordbreakerz · 2 months ago
Text
I get rly jealous of painters (digital and otherwise but mostly digital) sometimes bc they have the skill and knowledge to be able to do style studies of famous painters, and I frequently have the urge to do some kind of leyendecker study but I patently CANNOT paint, at all, I don't even rly render I am a flat colors and cel shading kind of artist so it would just be kind of useless to attempt bc the style I make art in just isn't the kind that I can do those kinds of experiments in and it feels Bad
2 notes · View notes
guinevereslancelot · 5 months ago
Text
so proud of myself for putting a big part of my last paycheck in my savings like an adult but now im gonna spend all my savings like an idiot 😵‍💫
#i mean i am paying cash for my first vehicle which is like...adulting pro level but....at what cost (the price) 😭#also its a very cheap rusty old car tbh but i need a truck for the farm basically#so even tho i could keep driving my dad's car to work since he works from home it makes sense#especially bc its three people sharing that car with me and my brother#and my little brother is a full time student w no job so im the full time employed one so i should be the one to get a car#but i was determined to not take out a loan so its not a super nice car#but i'm buying it from a friend of my mom at a steal basically#like who sells a decent working car for 1500 anymore#but thats literally my entire savings so.... 😬#no car payment tho which will be nice but aaaaaaaaa#and im worried its kind of a junky car and will need tons of repaira all the time and not be reliable#but my commute is really short and i never drive anywhere besides work which is good for an unreliable car#im not convinced its a great investment to put all my savings into an unreliable vehicle but my parents told me its a good investment so#😬👍#adulting yayyyyy#i am getting paid this friday tho so my savings wont be so alarmingly empty for long#but i have other big expenses so im stressed#however it is a nice christmassy red pickup truck which is good for a christmas tree farm#but last payday i was like why do i have so little money in my savings thats dumb and not very grown up im gonna put as much as i can spare#then a week later withdrew almost all of it for the car 🤡#possibly a stupid decision#but maybe a great one idk#and it saves my parents having to buy a trailer for my mom's car for farm stuff so they're gifting me $300 towards it#and it will be satisfying to buy it outright and have no debt on it#but oof it hurts so much to make big purchases#i've never spent this much money except on tuition#i dont know that its specially unreliable i just know its got rust and duct tape and they're selling it bc they'd rather have a car payment#bc they put more money into it than its worth#but its got new tires and brakes and passed inspection somehow with the rust sooo? maybe its not as bad as it looks 😂
3 notes · View notes
pepprs · 1 year ago
Text
it’s yom kippur now and im not supposed to eat anything until sunset tomorrow but ive had a headache all day and rn its fucking SPLITTING but im 5 hours into the fast and i don’t know what to do. eating something would probably make me feel better but it’s yom kippur and i don’t have a longstanding ailment that would prohibit me from fasting or whatever it’s just i woke up with a headache that has gotten worse throughout the day and now the fast has started but it’s the worst it’s been all day. idk what to do. i need to eat something but i can’t
10 notes · View notes
house-in-the-backyard-trees · 6 months ago
Text
For once I would like to work at a place where me calling off doesn't result in a guilt trip. Sorry I'm the only responsible employee there but I was literally hyperventilating at the idea of letting my manager down bc I woke up and instantly started bawling about everything and could not face work. And my stomach has been murdering me from all the anxiety I've been dealing with so I literally can barely function anyway.
#like it is not my fault our newest employee can't remember anything. i trained her for over a month honestly. she still can't remember where#half the buttons on the screen are or what they do. I'm half convinced she has dementia bc she's asked me multiple times what year it is#when she was doing her paperwork. like even at my first job i was left alone more than my boss will let this woman. she refuses to let her#close alone. and like i know it'll go bad. but it is not my responsibility to babysit a 65 year old. i trained her and i know i trained her#well bc the other 2 people i trained did not have this amount of issues. i am not an assistant. your shitty company will not give me that#position even though i asked. i am the same rank as everyone else working there and i cannot have anymore stress right now or i will fucking#quit. the other girl that works here just got her wisdom teeth out and she'll be down for the count. not like she was much use anyways. but#i do not understand why my manager is making it all my problem when i taught our new employee everything. i was working by myself here for#entire shifts by the time i was here a month. the store might burn down if she does but Jesus Christ not everything is my responsibility#when my manager isn't there. I'm not the fucking assistant. I'm a fucking cashier. like I'm about to stop doing all the things i was doing#to try to get them to promote me to assistant. cause it obviously didn't fucking work. not gonna go around and make a list of everything#expiring this month. not gonna obsessively organize and stock the cooler. I'm tired of being the only one that does it and does it right#anyway. it's so fucking exhausting. like last week i was so anxious and upset i was throwing up. i couldn't have gone to work if i tried.#now I'm just over being the useful one bc it never got me fucking anywhere.
3 notes · View notes
gentlethorns · 1 year ago
Text
fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
3 notes · View notes
pandora15 · 2 years ago
Text
i think it's really rude of the excedrin i took a few hours ago to not work
2 notes · View notes
szczylpierdolony · 2 years ago
Text
.
#im so stressed out im so tired ive done nothing and i need to start writing the essays#i have 3 to do plus there are like 6 exams most of which have a lot shit to remember plus im having a psychology short test#and the results of another short test next week and i need to start this economy assignment#and im late almost two weeks with a russian assignment and i want to cry#my meds arent working so im a mess and i stopped taking them bc they give me nightmares but now im having withdrawal and my heart is being#weird and i want to cry i need to kill myself i need to call my doctor#and maybe ask her abt that thing that makes you not have to take all your exams if youre mentally ill#but i feel bad asking for it like its not like im really sick and it feels like im just constantly lying#and she already signed the crap that makes me not have to go to pe thankfully#so i cant go and ask her abt this too like whatever worst case i fail everything and rip my guts out and die#i dont remember when i showered last time and im just so stressed out and i cant do anything productive#i havent been drawing or learning or revising or even doing my reading#speaking of which i have like 300 pages for next week maybe more and i cant take this anymore i need to die#also i think my parents would get mad at me if i said i cant wrote all my exams#bc whatever im not really sick im just lazy and annoying and a bad person and i wish i could get hit by a car so bad i need my head to be#crushed and my brain to get wplattered across the street#also im so gross and sweaty i hate myself sm and i feel so guilty over everything all the time#and them i go to therapy and i cant talk abt anything bc i hate talking abt my feelings its gross and i dont deserve it#i wish there was easy access to guns here suicide would be so easy jesus#and im having insane mood swings again i need to get off social media even tumblr it just makes me feel like shit abt myself#tw suicide mention
3 notes · View notes