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spoonie-brigade · 2 years

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Weird vent/rant about shit

CWs: sort of a vent, sort of not. DIscussion of very unhealthy behaviours. Discussion of medication. Discussion of money.

Disclaimers: I completely invalidate my own emotions and pain/illness in the text below. This is because I have a very unhealthy way of coping with things so don’t take any of this to heart. You’re not lesser if you can’t do the weird things that I do, I’m pretty sure the way I deal wiht my emotions is incredibly unhelathy and you’re not weak if you can’t do that. Also, my priorities rn are fucked up and I am destroying my health, please please please do not do what I’m doing it’s incredibly reckless.

None of this is in ANY way intended to be medical advice.

ADHD meds are great and all but they completely fuck up my emotions. Normally I can postpone my emotional responses at LEAST 168 hours if they’re not too serious but with the meds I can’t even manage an hour. Like sure I might have accidentally wasted 35000kr (SEK) but I’ve been through worse. Also my emotions persist for longer. Normally, if I have an emotional reaction I can turn it off and on but with the meds if I’m sad I’m sobbing for at least 30 minutes like I’m a fucking 9 year old. It messes up my emotion-feeling schedule too, I was planning to have emotions tomorrow because the house will be empty all afternoon, evening and most of the night. It was perfectly planned out, I had made sure I had nothing to do past like 13:00 that day. Another anynoying part of it is that it seems to affect physical pain as well. I have huge reactions to minor and/or daily pain. AKA my pain tolerance got fucked, yay. /sarc It’s not all bad though, I have weird amounts of energy now and I can stay up much later, my insomnia has gotten worse though. Its great that I can actually stay up late though because I can get much more done. Last saturday I stayed up until 04:00 (I know that’s not that late but it is for me) and I was able to retain focus and complete my project. The energy also wakes me up really well in the morning, I usually need at least 10 hours of sleep to function which I can never get because my school hours don’t line up with my natural circadian rythm but now I’m fine with 4 or 5. This is obviously all very unhealthy but I’ve agreed with my doctors and parents that I should prioritise education and grades over my health this year because I need to get into a good school because otherwise I might not be able to continue my education. So basically, I’m gonna fuck up my body and mind this year and once I’m in a healthy work enviroment next year I can try to fix it. I know that’s shitty but it’s not rlly my decision. I also need to make my parents happy because I signed up to the world scout jamboree this year and they’ve paid 35000kr (roughly 3500 euros, dollars or pounds) but I maight not be able to go because of my shitty health which means I basically owe them 35000kr now which is a shitty situation because I am 15 and have no income.

tl;dr: My ADHD meds force me to feel my emotions and physical pain like a normal person instead of postponing them, they also allow me to function with half the amount of sleep I normally need and exacerbate my insomnia. I am completely disregarding my health and focusing more on my education this year because I need good grades so I can have an education next year, I don’t really have a say in this. I need to make my parents like me more because I accidentally wasted a fuckton of their money on a once-in-a-lifetime trip I porabbly can’t go on because of my shit health and it almost certainly can’t be refunded.

that was also too long: My ADHD meds make me have emotions like normal ppl, I can function on 4 hours of sleep with them though. I’m fucking up my health this year but I don’t rlly have a say in it, I might owe my parents a fuckton of money.

#cw vent #vent cw #vent

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carcinized · 2 years

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hello june skycourthouse youre literally the coolest ever you are just. just. hmm i am so happy we are friends <3 it is sunny and and the leaves are pretty colors ill send u some pictures later maybe and i think im home alone and the world is just so pretty and i think you are just. you're sunshiney <3 i am listening to the song good morning sunlight by i fight dragons do you know that one? it makes me think of u :D its so warm and pretty also i love it :DDD

how are you today! it's sunday! today we are putting the sun in sunday i suppose at least where i live. i am uhh putting off homework. oops. i started a new minecraft hardcore world yestrday!! i found a village and made a silly little starter house that is literally just a box and also found a shipwreck but i cant navigate the map that was in it :< i have. so much laundry to do >_< and im just very warm rn! in multiple ways :) i am wearing the coziest sweater its lovely :]

its october 16 which is so many of my friends' birthdays so i forgot about the red festival ummm. im gonna rewatch tubbos pov of the red festival i think </3 OH ive eben working on the benchtrio ghosthunting au a bit im excited for that and also my other main project (aka: stardust projects onto tommy and ranboo is well hes certainly There.) ive been like outlining whats gonna happen and its gonna be cool :) im giving u a bouquet of flowers or a potted plant or just literally a piece of grass i hope youre doing well <3 im not ready for the weather to get colder but i do love the pretty colors and . sweaters :]]

LAJDFJ i wrote this in the afternoon.... its 10 pm now.... PFFT. okay pressing send. i do just frequemntly forget to do that huh

love ya ollie :D

awww thats so sweet, it was super foggy the past 2 days here for the first time its been sooo nice <3 and no i do not know that song :O

YOOOO HARDCORE!!! i have never done a hardcore world i have far too much rage inside me i dont think i could take that sort of loss, BUT ITS OK UR SLAYING i have Also been putting off folding my laundry... it is just in a pile on my floor Oops. I Forgor (my room is the messiest place in the universe rn Its Fine)

BUT WOOOO YEAH IT IS :D the red festival my beloved <333 THATS SO COOL THO GHOSTHUNTING AU THE BEST AU IN THE WORLD!!!! i think itll be aweomse also Omg Grass... the other day i was outside doing (activity) with friends and there was some really soft grass and i wanted to eat it but then i remembereed we were at Gross Public Place and though it was soft someone had probably thrown up on it before so i should Not put it in my mouth and it was very sad for me, i like how grass tastes but alas that grass would have been germy so yes anyways i am appreciating your grass. also i cant wait for the cold weather except for actually its just about as cold as itll get here already only it still warms up to like 80F in the afternoon so we just suffer bc we cant dress right, but its ok bc the past two days like i said its been foggy so :D i just need it to start raining so we can Heat Our House lmao we need it to be wet enough outside to make a fire w/o lighting half the country on fire LOL

and its ok king i get it. i am heading to bed Also now i think this is a late response sorry i didnt see this, but goodnight sleep well i hope you have a great day tomorrow!! love u :] <33

#ask #stardust !

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lettersformiah · 2 years

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9:12am, 23 june

hello bubba!

you are at home sleeping rn and i am here instead of in your arms? so dog. but yeah ^^ in geo righ tnow and i dont actually give a fuck about doing this internal right now. i had a bit of an annoying morning with my phone dying and all that so im just not a fan (i just sneezed hehehe) im so sniffly now because the geo room is quite warm compared to outside. i havent seen maya or muskaan today becase when i got to the class there were only a few people in there. apparently it was because mrs copley got them all to help out with matariki and go to the stage? and do stuff? i dont know and i also wasnt really told by cash or leo smh. they just said they had to do stuff and were content with just that. so whatever, ill see them at interval.

i hope you wake up soon but i know you wont smh. youll probably wake up during the assembly maybe? or even while we are at countdown before the festival. i dont knpw actually. im not looking forward to french but i can just fuck around and try and memorise it. i know some of it? its like 'mon ecole primaire? elle s'apellait stanmore bay. je n'ai aimait ca parce que les gens etait mechants et enervants.' thats the first part of it. i know the ideas that i talk about but i dont atually know what it said. something about 'je prommais -- ecole car je vivais cinq minutes'?? something like that. unsure hehee but i guess thats what i have next period for. im excited to drop french next year hehehe. i feel bad quitting it after 4 years of learning it but honestly i dont want to do the internals or externals for it next year and im very very average. and im ok with that. plus! i can take another subject :D i gotta look into that with you, tonight maybe? hopefully youll be down for that.

im actually okay with the assembly today. its gonna be outside bc covid which is both good and bad. bit cold but also no mask wearing. i dont know where we are meant to be though. apparently the black mat? but how do you fit a whole school onto one court? i dont think you can. and the whole plan is a bit scuffed. some people know it but i havent been shown. i dont think ill be able to wear your hoodie for it though :( they are very grr about uniform obvs bc its a formal assembly but i just put it in my bag after interval and chuck it back on! and i jus zip up my jacket for french so mr moss doesnt throw a fit. hes a nice guy really but me and him dont get on sometimes. but i love him truly, hes my favorite teacher. i think i just get on his nerves sometimes. but whoops! im not for everyone all the time and thats okay. but yeah :D i have no idea what theyre gonna talk about in the assembly tbh. i dont think we have ever have a matariki one and its also meant to be from like 11:30-12:30. what do you talk about for an hour? i guess maybe with songs and lil speeches and things. im assuming itll be like the anzac ones. so necessary, but horribly boring. but i dont mind spacing out for a bit. and! ill be with my friends :D i can sit with muskaan which is nice since i got no classes with her. will be a good time. even though we always make each other laugh during the national anthem. we always end up giggling at leo because his voice is so deep compared to everyone else. so we do the thing where we look at each other and just crack up. its really bad sometimes. hopefully today will be alright!

im also excited not for the festival itself but to just hang out with ym friends. and see leo and myaya performing! but mainly just to be with muskaan and kealan >:) we hung out on sunday obvs but i havent just existed with them since no classes. sad thing about being a senior i think. but i have no money to go to countdown with :P i think i just mooch off of kealan. but if he pays for just like something for all of us to share. but he cant even eat anything because of his braces. thats shit :( i dont know. we will see i guess. i feel bad taking and using money from him even though he assures us its fine. but i dont know. maybe itll be alright.

i got half an hour of class left. did they play dnd last night? were we meant to be there? i swear i went to bed at like 10/11 and you guys were playing val. wasnt dnd meant to start at like 8? or even 10? but i wasnt told about this. thats shit. i hate that i dont stay up late anymore. i think this weekend i do :D bc its a long weekend! so i can try and stay up later tn and tomorrow night. and then its all good. i have no plans for tomorrow except for wash my sheets and do some schoolwork. which please please please make me do i have so many internals due next week and honestly it ouwld be easier to just not do them and cry about it instead. but i gotta.

my sister also texted me! well you know that, but we did the old oh yeah how u im good how u and then i left her on delivered because i genuinely forgot to reply. or i didnt knwo what to say. i never know what to say to her. she asked me if i wanted to do the daffodil day volunteering so :D i do, i was meant to last year? year before? i dont know. they cancelled it bc of covid. but its just the thing where we stand on a road and ask for money. good times. but i love daffodil day so anything to help out!!

so yeah! thats my life up until 9:38am. thrilling stuff i know. i dont know. i wish you were awake. i wish i was texting you or calling or better yet in the same room. i love you bubba. i love you so much :*)

hope your sleep is going well n youre having good dreams. i love you, talk soon.

-mads<3

#letters

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eatsless · 2 years

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my morning started with my mom yelling at me about money. to clarify here, before i started school i gave her half of every paycheck i got from when i was 18 to 24. doesn't matter how much money i had left for me, or for gas, she wouldn't agree to a set amount a month so just took half of every paycheck. my older brother was in college until i was 23 and had no job, didn't do chores, didn't help at all around the house, and she was happy with it even though it left me paying his car insurance and for his groceries for years. now he has a very high paying job and gives her a set amount of rent each month, and i was still giving half of every paycheck. then i started school, after talking with her and telling her that ill cut back my work hours due to school and my health and therefore wouldn't be able to pay rent anymore. she seemed fine with it and was supportive. now that im not paying rent bc i have no money to do so, she's flipping out on me. saying that i need to contribute, this isn't charity its paying her rent, and im just. both of my brothers didn't work while they were in college, didn't do any chores or even their own dishes, and she was so supportive of them. bought them cars, paid their bills,, helped with school expenses. but i put off going to college to help pay our bills and help her, and now that ive stepped back to focus on my education she's losing her mind on me. i even broke down how much i make a month and that i literally have no money left after my own bills to pay rent, and that after a normal work week i barely have enough for gas bc it costs $50 rn to fill my tank and i have to get gas at least twice a month.

so i had to dip into my school money to pay her so she would stop yelling at me and guilting me. the difference with how she treats my brothers vs me is honestly astounding. anyway i have no appetite and am even more depressed so gonna curl up under a blanket and be sad :)

#at least this depression will make me lose weight

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sukirichi · 3 years

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[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ]

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan

from track 007.

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ]

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #series ( broken records )#tw: toxic

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nahoyaglock · 4 years

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Frobi selfship headcannons

!!sfw!!

shigabi, tenfro, fronaka, frobishima, inuobi, frokuto, aobi, frotani, fromi, ushibi, frobinoya, katsubi hcs

a/n: sorry for these long ass headcanons, i hope yall enjoy them tho?? also sorry for the reoccurring mention of my terrible paranoia </3 im going through a hard time w it rn, pls excuse me

reblogs on selfship posts are super appreciated!

shigabi

video games

i am his baby! he has a soft spot for me :3

lets me sit in his lap while he plays video games

hc that shigaraki is a twitch streamer instead of a villain and he streams with me on his lap

messy hair, black headset, pajama pants and a black hoodie vs pink tank top, white skirt, pink bows and a fuzzy blanket

we own cats named wario and waluigi >:3

we play ow and animal crossing together

he plays shooters and horror games while i play otome games and rhythm games

watching happy feet and cuddling, lets me lay between his legs as he plays with my hair

calls me brat and baby

cooks me seafood

some days i want him to baby me, other days we go run around at 4am

teases me bc of my height, leanes down to give me kisses

randomly tugs on my hair and pretends he didnt do it throught the day

i kick his ugly ass ankles /j

tenfro

baking, cuddling, horror movies and videos games 24/7

both bullied so we confine in each other and comfrt the other well

hes very caring so he always checks in, even when i seem fine

notices my mood changes

"do you need a hug?" and just hugs me bc he knows i do

he likes to rest his head on my chest when he rants to me

booping noses and interlocked hands ♡

ushijima gives us rides everywhere

their manager, so i have to make sure tendou does well

the other team members are happy im dating tendou, especially ushijima

sitting with tendou on the bus to their matches

kisses and hugs after every match and practice match

lets me wear his jersey bc he hates when other guys look at me

one time terushima tried to flirt w me and he made ushi scare him away

fronaka

hand on ass always.

tries to fight any guy that even comes near me

me, ryu and noya, the trio !

walks me to class with his arm around my waist

basically bestfriends to lovers so we spemd all our time together like we did before we were dating

still a slight kiyoko simp but lmao so am i, we admire her beauty together

brags to the team about me, telling them random things about me

"frobis favorite food are clams!" crosses gis arms proudly

"ryuu, you dumbass" insert me slapping the back of his bald head

saeko teasing him and telling him to treat me well

says "hey bae" and probably uses the devil emoji ajxjzjx

plays with my hair, he loves my curls :D

we prolly have a dog, small dog bc ooi dogs scary,, D:

frobishima

always has an arm around me

denki bestie af !

also one that i can relate to so we can share our experiences and comfort each other

top kin so we get along very well and have alot of the same interests

movie nights w/ the bakusquad

cuddling kiri the whole time and making the rest of them feel single

he likes to pinch my shoulder to get my attention

big smiles and playful biting :D

he probably has alot of my clothes left at his house bc i like wearing his shirts

insert kiri cooking while i back hug him <3

likes to princess carry me, and carries me when im sleepy

thigh kisses bc he loves them alot <3

best an comforting, sings me to sleepy and helps me when i have really bad paranoia </3

true loml

inuobi

walk to school together everyday

sometimes we race

brings me a breakfast bar, sometimes his mom makes me a morning snack too

little pecks and hand holding

we're like two energetic puppies in a relationship

i always attend his games and cheer for him and the boys

insert kuroo, tora, kenma, and kai acting like my dads

me and inu doing puppy eyes for little spoon, he usually gives in and takes big spoon

lots compliments and blushing

"inu, y-you look cute today"

"frobi, you look s-stunning"

comfort buddies!

convinces the coach to let me ride on the bus with them to tournaments

sleppys babies on the back of the bus

members have pictures of us sleeping

sharing a blanket that kai gave to us bc the bus was cold and sharing a scarf that inuoka bought me for winter

frokuto

if hes sad, im sad :( if im sad, hes sad :(((

my energy beam, my number one, my ace 🥺

he loves to hold my small hands in his big ones, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb

he'd walk around at tournaments, big star bo with his tiny cute girlfriend

saru, komi, and konoha give me headpats

bo pouts because they didnt guve him head pats

many pats for the ace!! :D

during lunch i hang w him and akaashi, akaashi having to deal w me and bos shenanigans

lowkey, we probably bring him stress

me and bo go on night time adventures, he drives us <3

brings home ramen after a long day of practice

when hes sad he cries into my chest and i play with his hair

"its okay bo, your still my ace" kisses and more kisses and more kisses

he loves to hold my thumbs and kiss my wrists

always looks for me when he has a match, sees me cheering the loudest for him <3

hes my baby, he'll smiles at me and ill cry

aobi

listener

he lets me talk about my interests and day, i let him talk about his

loves to be supportive, my shoulder to lean on

we take public transportation after school to get to our house

he lets me lean against him and sleep, tired from a long day, he'll wrap his large arm around me

he opened up after a while and smiles more, sometimes he'll lightly giggle, one time i made him laugh for 5 whole mins

hes so golden in my eyes, lake dates, he likes to just walk with me

treats me to food whenever we go out

i help him be more open and push him to be himself, but i respect his boundaries !!!

if he feels uncomfortable he'll poke my back gently

i take him away from the uncomfortable situation and ask what was wrong so that it doesnt happen again

people ask why im dating him bc hes "scary"

my response is a punch to the face

jkjk, its none of their business why, but its bc hes very sweet and kind hearted, who couldn't love an angel like my nobu? :]

frotani

complicated hc?? i have like two ways it could go, my top is def still me being a shiratorizawa girl bc lmao canon !!

met him through levy, (@bigger-simp-than-kazuichi) aoba johsais manager

she introduced me to her besyies, kyo and yahaba

"hey, you're the one they call mad dog?" he hates that now but responds with "yes, im mad dog."

levy invites me to alot of their events if im not busy, lowkey oikawa is salty bc im shiratorizawas manager

kyotani stays at my side, we talk about our days and his live for volleyball

we exchange numbers and he messages me at night, we have hour long conversations till one of us falls asleep

late night calls, he just grumbles and scoffs at anything i say and he just waits for me to sleep before hanging up

confesses to me at a match infront of my team, i just kissed him in response

he visits me whenever he can, and brings me food and gifts

imagine aoba johsai vs shiratorizawa, rip kyo lmao ushi get his ass /j

kyotani likes to hold mt hands and wrap my in his jacket and scarf

barks at anyone who bothers me, loves when i sit on his lap btw

fromi

komi will pick me up over his shoulder and drag me to the room when he wants cuddles

loves horror movies, horror movie marathons any time of the year

he likes and kiss my jaw and hold my thumbs

calls me short when he's not that much taller than me

we curse at each other every 5 minutes

insert sarukui climbing through our windows atleast once a month to have a movie marathon with us

komi likes to slap my head

we probably play fight all the time, definently turns into something more intense

akaashi and konoha break us up and me and komi will be confused

"whats wrong? We were just playing"

"yall were strangling each other"

"we're fineee~"

chaotic, we always look like were fighting or arguing

"fuck you, i hate you" "fuck you too bitch"

holds hands and deep kisses the next second

akaashi lowkey hates dealing with us, bokuto loves us skxj

ushibi

shira and hayato convinced me to join at their manager

the original shiratorizawa manager, ceo of the company 😎

they introduced me to the team, and they took a liking to me

ushijima was by my side alot, helped me with my job and carrying thing especially

he was so kind and even spoke to me, asked if i ate, if i slept well, if i needed anything

didn't realize it was different from what he normally was like until tendou asked about it

one time ushi was walking me home and i asked him about it, but he was definently confused

"i, guess so. your attractive and have a good personality. i would date you."

hes so blunt, awkwardly blunt

so we,, started dating, and now he really never leaves my side

i got haterz bc im THE ushiwakas bby girl 🙈

gives me headpats and kisses before everymatch

lets me wear his team jacket, huge on my small figure

he enjoys our height difference, he thinks i look cute when i look up at him :3

teaches me how to play volleyball, even smiles when i land a good serve

patches me up whenever i get hurt, slight frown if i ever fall

hes,, kinda fatherly? a person w no dad calling someone fatherly sjcjxj lmao 🙈🙈

nurturing and caring, ushi i will kiss you, probably calls me by my full name, fro, manager, baby, and sometimes even brat

frobinoya

hes woke, i just know it

all the characters prolly woke but hes woke asf!!

we run around, literally our whole relationship is mainly just running around and being wild

arcade hangouts after school/practice

he loves arcade games so much, and so do i

we take off guard pictures of each other, also chaotic and blurry pictures

he'll kick me in the butt, que me chasing him till i run out of breath

he likes to support my interests, loves to watch me practice dancing

we wear cat ears and maid outfits and take pictures in his room at like 5am when the sun rises

videos of us kissing and cuddling in his gallery

posts on insta to make ryuu jealous

buys me cute skirts bc he knows i love to look pretty for him !!

im his pretty kitty ♡♡

likes to call me his girly~ and his serotonin

holds my hand whenever im feeling sad and strokes my cheek with his thumb

lowkey has a good voice, sings heather to me while he nuzzles his nose into my jaw

katsubi

random kisses throughout the day

pinky holding bc he likes my small hands

leans over me when he wants a kiss

gets teased by the squad and just endures it bc he likes the way i giggle when they do

head pats ! lots :3

likes to show off infront of class 1-b by holding me close and kissing me

brings me lunches he cooked and likes to feed me

always finds an excuse to be on my team for training or being my training buddy

barks at anyone who tries to train with me /j

walking me to school and home, even brings me over

mitsuki loves it whenever i come over and makes cookies when i do

katsuki helps her make the cookies D: so precious

never kisses infront of his parents bc he doesnt want to deal with their teasing and nagging

sings ballads, will sing me to sleep, probably listens to rap and rnb, some rock, but will sing me some khalid since he knows i love him

probably sung me "can i be him" one night when my paranoia got bad <//3

i laid on his chest and he ran his fingertips up and down my back, singing softly to me until i fell asleep

forehead kiss before he drifted to sleep as well, katsuuuu :( <3

@kekozume @nekosvno

#self ships #shigabi #tenfro #fronaka #frobishima #inuobi #frokuto #aobi #frotani #fromi #ushibi #frobinoya #katsubi #frobis.💿

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nolongerironicteenwrites · 4 years

Text

it’s been a while hasn’t it?

times have been, rough yeah? how bout a fluffy ship post because i’m feeling emo for haikyuu!! and i haven’t had a chance to watch season four yet. and i am v sad ab it rn k? k.

prompt: Person A: “I have something to tell you.”Person B: “Oooh~ Are you about to profess your undying love for me?”Person A: “Yes, I am.”Person B: “.....What?”

Iwaizumi Hajime x Oikawa Tooru

Hajime and Tooru have been friends for the better part of ten years, to the sound of twelve. Tooru would always be grateful for that. Even when the two of them going in very different directions wit the rest of their lives, they are still there at each others sides. No amount of banter or ill-timed joke can separate the two of them. Tooru can be as overbearing as he wishes and Hajime can be as collected as he wants and the two balance each other out well-enough.

No stone can be left upturned with them.

Well almost no stone.

One year into university and a new found friendship in his roommate, Hajime finds himself sitting in his shared dorm eating plain Capn’Crunch talking with his roommate in question.

“Daichi what am I doing with my life?”

“Besides eating my cereal?” he asked, laughing looking up from his book.

“Hey now, I’m serious about this one Dai.”

“Hajime what do you actually mean then?”

Hajime sighs and puts the box down on the bed side table and looks at him.

“I’m still in my home town, my best friend, no offense, is like four hours away, and I’m not even playing volleyball right now.”

“First off, you are recovering from an injury. Secondly, Oikawa understands and he tries to talk to you as much as he can. But you’re at the school for the best physical therapy because of your best friend. Thirdly, I accepted the first time Oikawa and I properly meet I knew I was never going to be your actual best friend.” Daichi replied putting his book aside and taking off his glasses.

Hajime smiled at him, but his eyes look sad and unconvinced. Daichi knew he was over thinking. Daichi was smart enough to realize there was something more on his mind.

“You don’t have to talk to me, but I’m here.”

“I’m about to make a mistake.”

“What do you mean?”

“Daichi do you know when the buses start and stop?”

Daichi knew this was a bad idea from the start, but he saw the look on Hajime’s face he knew he was in this for the long haul.

“Let me make a few calls.”

Hajime picks back up the box and Daichi walked away to make a few calls and do a bit of Google searching. Daichi was calling three people, Suga, Kuroo, and Ennoshita to make sure that he wasn’t be irrational. Ennoshita replied no, helping a friend in love was a very chivalrous. Daichi laughed, he wasn’t sure if that’s what he was doing or not, but he did feel good about it all.

“You need more cereal.”

Daichi sighed. He needed to help him. And get him to stop eating his cereal.

“Buses to where you want to go start at 7:20 and stop running at like 2 in the morning.”

Hajime looks at the clock. It read nine am. He jumped out of bed and started throwing together a backpack. Daichi nodded and followed along.

“How’s your boy?”

“He’s fine. School has been rough but he’s doing great.”

Hajime holds his bag close and picks up keys and wallet. He looks like a kid in a candy store for the first time. Daichi picks up his backpack and keys as well pocketing his phone.

“Well come on now before I loose my nerve.”

“What are you going to do? Confess to him?” asks Daichi.

“Yes..”

Daichi sneezes. He’s not sure why his body’s response was sneeze but he looks at Hajime like are you insane? Hajime isn’t looking back though, he has the dopiest smile on his face paying the other no real thought. Daichi rolls his eyes and locks up their dorm room.

Hajime just follows with his jacket thrown over his arms and smiling to himself. Daichi sends a quick text to Chikara that they’re leaving and will keep him updated. Then he texts Suga to tell him that he’s on his way. Suga responded with a series of obscene emojis. Daichi nearly gagged and pocketed his phone.

“What?” Hajime asked.

“Suga is just being himself you know?”

“Not well enough no actually.”

“He is a beast in his own right. And that is all I can say on that.” Daichi responds.

Hajime laughs and opens the stair doors. The two of them walk down the stairs together and burst through the doors together.

“Are you sure you are okay with this?”

“For you? Anything.”

Hajime nods to show his approval and that he would do the same. Daichi nods back and offers a fist bump. Hajime responds and slips his earbuds in as does Daichi and they walk side-by-side. Once at the station Hajime bought Daichi’s ticket, ‘for coming with him”.

Daichi just shook his head. He set himself up to read by the window while Hajime just watched the scenes pass in front of him. His phone was buzzing on his lap and every so often he would tap away, messaging someone back.

“Oikawa?”

“His sister actually. Turns out Oikawa like flowers, lilies.”

“You told his sister you were going to confess?”

“I told his mom and she told her.”

Daichi snickered. He shook his head and goes back to reading. Hajime smiles to himself and goes back to watching. He was so excited for this. He’s been waiting for months figuring out what he needed or wanted to tell him.His mind was racing what he could say.

Haijime wanted to be as straight as possible so Tooru never questions it. LAy it all out on the table for him. Four hours is a long time to think. An even longer time when you don’t remember falling asleep till you’re being kicked awake.

“What?”

“We’re hear.”

Hajime nearly bolts up and runs off the train. Daichi has to stop him before he hits a little lady in front of him. Hajime nods and waits for the isles to clear.

“I will literally buy you all the ramen you can eat for this.”

“No need. I love being here for you.” Daichi replied looking down at his phone. “Okay they leave like four blocks from here.”

Daichi guides Haijime around the corners and up to the apartment building. Hajime shakes his head.

“I can’t do this. Daichi what if he-”

“Iwa-chan, Dai-san? What are you two doing here?”

“I missed my best fried.” Daichi reaches for Suga and pulls him to a choke hold.

Suga coughs a bit and tries to wiggle away and Daichi. Tooru laughs a bit and looks at Haijime with a twinkle in his eyes. He offers a hug and Haijime with out hesitation squeezes him.

“What bring you here as well them?” Tooru asks.

“I have something to tell you.” Haijime smiles pulling away.

“Oooh~ Are you about to profess your undying love for me?” he teases wiggling his eyebrows.

“Yes, I am.”

“.....What?” Tooru backed away panicked.

Hajime nods smiling awkwardly. Tooru sniffs and shakes his head.

“You’re lying. This isn’t- no.” Tooru smiles, “You love me?”

Hajime nods and moves closer to him cupping his face. He’s smiling and kisses his softly. Tooru kisses him back. Suga and Daichi are watching.

“Why don’t you kiss me like that?”

“Because I’m not dating you?”

Tooru pulls away laughing looking at the two.

“Are you two always like this?”

“Yes, I even did this when him and Chikara got together.”

Tooru and Hajime laugh pulling each other in again.

#haikyuu!!#oikawa tooru #Iwaizumi Hajime #iwaoi #sugawara koushi #sawamura daichi #slight ennodai

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excvlsior · 4 years

Text

about: *leo fowler.

basics.

full name: leopold kristoff fowler meaning of name: leopold = ‘people’ & ‘bold’, kristoff = ‘bearing christ’ nickname: leo, tadpole by some family members age: 23 date of birth: november 12, 1996 hometown: tallahassee, florida nationality: american ethnicity: dutch gender: demiboy sexuality: pansexual spoken languages: dutch, english profession: in lovell he’s a part time student and works at fowler’s flowers, but just the latter in st. louis

appearance.

height: 6′2″ eye colour: blue hair colour: auburn??? i feel like that’s the version of if someone had strawberry blond hair bt . strawberry brown instead??? idk it’s reddy-brown voice: pretty deep, surprisingly smooth jst feel like he has the personality of someone with a rougher voice bt . alas...... obnoxiously thick southern accent tattoos: c’est la vie on his ribcage, kristoff on his hip, ‘x’ on the inside of his middle finger done in shitty stick and poke, ‘L’ done in stick and poke on the side of his wrist, heart with a knife through it on his chest, tattoo inside his lip that says ‘pussy master’* :pensive:, ‘ouch’ on the bottom of both soles of his feet*, a hand giving the middle finger on the back of his left calf, dolly parton’s signature on the top of his thigh from when he got it at one of her concerts, a smiley face on his ass* >_>, a melting popsicle on the back of his right bicep*, ghost face mask on his right shin; * = he did them on a dare LKHSDGKLHLSDG piercings: lobes, right cartilage, industrial bar in his left ear, nostril, had an eyebrow and lip piercing when he was younger clothing style: pretty dishevelled and purposely ill prepared outfits, sometimes u can catch him in just plaid and khakis but more often than not he’s in something weird, his prized possession is a leopard print shirt that has a heart in the center, steals clothes from his aunt and uncle when he has nothing clean/can’t bother finding anything, been seen in marj’s skirts and leggings bc of this, and then on the other hand he’ll wear like a lime green tank top with a monster baseball cap worn sideways his style is just carefree and eclectic

health.

physical ailments: n/a neurological conditions: bipolar i disorder allergies: n/a sleeping habits: pretty much only falls asleep between the hours of 3-5 am, doesn’t matter if he works the morning or afternoon shift....... if he doesn’t work at all he’ll just sleep until his body naturally wakes up which is also usually around 3-5 pm KLSDGLKHSDGLKHDG exercise habits: doesn’t exactly have one..... he’s a pretty active and energetic guy so he’s usually up and about doing whatever anyway, also rides his bike everywhere since marj and steve r usually out with the only car they have sociability: loves being around people but he’ll eventually grow cranky, doesn’t necessarily need to be alone but at least with a different group of people if he gets to this point, the only time he actively doesn’t really want to see people is when he’s having a depressive episode but those don’t last too long as is drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes

personality.

positive traits: adventurous, courageous, determined, funny, gregarious, independent, quick-witted, tough, versatile negative traits: belligerent, cantankerous, foolhardy, harsh, impulsive, parsimonious, sarcastic, tactless, unpredictable, vulgar goals/desires: lowkey he’d never admit it but he just kinda wants his parents’ approval in the end, and also maybe to find something better than supervisor at a flower store (no offence to marj and steve its just not his dream) fears: staying committed and missing out on different opportunities/people that could change his life, the fact that he probably can’t do any better than be a supervisor at a flower store tbh hobbies: drinking, drawing a bit tbh, thrifting, loves collecting random knick knacks and is personally loving buttons rn, harassing his friends<3, making stupid tiktoks that somehow have gotten him a kind of big following habits: swearing obnoxiously without caring, yells in dutch when he’s frustrated which he’s mostly picked up on cuz everyone else in his family does it, stares more than what is socially acceptable tbh, refuses to walk under ladders

favourites.

weather: sunny with some clouds colour: dark green music: likes a lot of 90s and early 2000s rap and rock, old school country like he loves dolly parton LKSDHGKLHSDGLK rly enjoys elvis presley too, some edm or anything that he can jst dance wildly to movies: old school slasher films, screams his fav movie series ever food: spaghetti bt specifically w marj’s Phenom homemade meat sauce<3 drink: grape juice, whiskey sour

relationships.

father: steven fowler is his uncle but currently his legal guardian, he’s a co-owner of fowler’s flowers and is kind of a mess but in like the fun way....... LKSHDGKLHSLDG he just spends a lot of the day in nothing but boxers and socks w their cat on his lap watching the weather report if he’s not working, has the weird energy of someone who would be running like a joke shop instead of being a florist. archibald fowler is leo’s biological dad but he sucks Big Time, giant business typhoon i hvnt . figured out 100% wht sort of business bt hes got Money bt doesnt even rly want anything to do w leo he jst sees him as a massive disappointment bc archie’s nothing but a loser fart of a square. mother: marjorie fowler’s his aunt and other legal guardian also the other co-owner of fowler’s flowers, literally the sweetest woman on the planet like she’s never done anything wrong in her life n u can take tht to the bank. she’s a bit weird n super spiritual, their house constantly smells like random herbs and rly intensely of flowers and plants bc she makes so many home remedies bt she’s an angel a fkin ANGEL!!!!! renata kline’s leo’s mom n she’s like . fine ig she was pretty negligent n her best friend is a bottle of wine....... she rly peaked at a young age when she was a pageant girl n she still coaches n stuff now bt she’s obvs rly sad so leo tries not to lose it on her too much even tho he thinks she’s annoying LKSHDGKLHSLDKGKLSDG siblings: augustus is his oldest brother and he’s pretty cool, probs the brother leo is closest with even tho he considers him boring bt it’s only bc he’s . actually responsible n wht not they had a lot of fun growing up together tho when leo visited new york. mikhael is the devil, he’s actually a bit of a cunt n both him n leo have expressed their hatred fr each other without missing a beat i think they actually dnt hv any love or affection fr the other in the slightest SKLDHGLKSDHG. vaughn n leo r closest in age he’s not tht much younger n he’s probs the shiest of them, pretty soft spoken n well meaning, him n leo dnt rly keep in contact too much anymore bt theres a special place in his heart fr vaughn he’s pretty protective even tho he bullies him a lot bt thts besides the point. willhelm’s the youngest n it kinda shows he’s pretty idgaf attitude n rly blunt bt he’s also funny n probs the biggest partier outside of leo so he gets a pass whenever he rolls his eyes in leo’s face. pets: mitzie’s an 8 year old tortoiseshell cat who lives primarily on ppls laps shes literally more lap dog than cat significant other: n/a family’s financial status: middle class

extra.

zodiac sign: scorpio<3 mbti: estp - the entrepeneur enneagram: the epicure temperament: sanguine hogwarts house: gryffindor moral alignment: chaotic neutral primary vice: pride primary virtue: dilligence element: fire

#muse | leo fowler.#dabs my forehead #this took me a thousand years bt the deeds #finally done.

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tessxomarie · 6 years

Text

Saving You - Part I

*Hi everyone! First, I need to shoutout @hellosupernaturaldoctor for giving me advice and the confidence to even attempt this. This is my very first time writing any fan-fiction and the first time I’ve decided to post any of my writing some place other than a word doc. I’ve had this idea for this story since mid-season of the Mayans, and after the finale I put all my thoughts into a story. It starts off slow, but I promise what I have in store next will be worth it! PS, Any feedback is appreciated! - This story takes place a few months after the season one finale. Ez is now a newly patched in member, Alvarez is still working for Galindo; things have been quiet as of late, well for the most part.*

It’s a Friday afternoon, I’m just getting off of work. It’s hot as fuck outside – guess that’s the price you pay when you live in the desert. I lazily gather my purse from the backroom, before I step foot outside, I redo my hair. What was once a cute pony tail this morning has turned into a mangled mess. As my luck would have it, my hair tie snaps as soon as I go to wrap it around a third time. “Fuck.” I mumble to myself. I always wear an extra hair tie on my wrist, but I cannot have a naked wrist. “Fine, a mangled mane I will have. It’s fine, it’s fine.” I whisper to myself. If I don’t leave here now, I will lose all sanity I have left. Man, what a shit show day today has been, this heat must be getting to the kids. Two broken wrists, a broken arm, a no helmet incident and a random summer cold. I didn’t get puked or shit on, and no kid attempted to kick or hit, so I call today’s shit show a success. Just as I’m about to leave, one of my co-workers stops me, “Leah, good work today. You kept that broken arm kid really calm. Keep it up.” Elena tells me with a smile. “Thanks, Elena. I’m just doing my job, but I always welcome feedback, so thanks again.” I say to her as I head out the back door. It’s 4:30pm, I’ve been on the clock since 6am, one would think I deserve to simply go home and use my complex’s pool – oh one can dream. But nope, I’m still on the clock but I guess you could call this gig more of an always “on-call” service.

I pull up in my old school blacked out Jeep Grand Cherokee about twenty minutes after I leave the clinic to the Romeo Brothers Scrapyard, also known as the headquarters for the Mayans MC.

Chucky greets me, per usual. “Greetings Nurse Aleeah.” He says to me with a big smile and a salute. I let out a giggle as I always do whenever someone says my full name…I rarely ever go by it, but around here, I hear it more than I have in years. But Chucky, oh Chucky– how does one describe a chronic masturbator who has a good heart and is part of the biker world without truly being a biker? I guess I just did, didn’t I? “Hey Chucky, how are you?” I ask as I park and exit my Jeep. “I am well, swell actually. I have no complaints today.” Chucky answers with a big smile. “Good, I’m glad to hear that.” I say as I give his arm a friendly squeeze. “The boys need your assistance, I don’t know details but clearly someone got messed up hence why you are here.” Chucky explains in typical Chucky fashion.I roll my eyes as I stand in front of the clubhouse. “It’s always something with these boys, huh?” I rhetorically ask. Chucky nods his head and heads back to the office. I walk up the steps and take a deep breath before I enter the clubhouse. This club is like a box of chocolates, you never know what the fuck you’re going to get so it’s best you just grin and bear it. Is it just a cut from a broken beer bottle? Did a fight break out and there is blood everywhere? A bullet wound? A stabbing wound? A rat bite? Like I said, you just never know. I open the doors and pray today is nothing major. “Have no fear, your favorite RN is here.” I announce as I enter the clubhouse and strike a pose in the doorway. “Umm, isn’t it RN BSN?” Riz corrects as he stands and greets me. “Have I told you that you’re my favorite?” I reply with a playful wink and smile, it does make me truly happy that these guys acknowledge and are proud of my accomplishments. “Hola Aleeah.” Riz says to me while we greet with a warm hug, per usual. “Hey, I spy my favorite nurse!” Gilly shouts from across the room. Creeper, Hank and Taza also wave from the card table. “Greetings gentlemen, you all seem to be in one piece.” I say as I mosey around the few tables between me and the guys. “Although that pleases me, who is the one who called up 1-800-Rescue Nurse?” I sarcastically spit, which receives some laughs from the guys. “They’re in church.” Hank points towards the door. “They? Plural?” I ask looking at Riz, and he nods to confirm. “Jesus Christ.” I say palming my face. “Lee Baby!” Coco shouts from exiting church and walking over to me with open arms. “Ah, Coco Loco.” I reply with a smile and we hug. “How are you doing, Coco?” I ask after we break our embrace. “A lot better than your next two victims.” He replies, him not making much eye contact and that just gives it away – I know automatically who my victims are. “You gotta be kidding me? They got into it again?!” All Coco does is nod and look down at the floor. “How bad?” I ask. “What do you mean? How bad do they look? Or how bad is it between them?” Coco asks me. I shake my head with disgrace. I angrily take my steps towards church and I aggressively open the door. “Damn, she is pissed.” I hear Creeper’s echo as I close the door, as soon I enter the room. Looking at the table, I see them. One is at one end, the other one on the opposite end. I drop my nurse’s bag on the table and cross my arms. “You two have some damn nerve - getting into it again. Jesus. You’re fucking brothers, you are blood – blood don’t do this shit.” I yell with anger and confusion. Silence fills the air as the guys look at each other and up at me. Bishop then looks over to me and quirks an eyebrow and half smile. “Excuse my poor manners, Bish. Your boys tend to make me lose all sanity I have left at the end of a work week.” I tell him as I walk over and give him a warm embrace. “Oh Leah, you’re fine. I know this shit has been out of control recently.” Bishop pauses and looks over to the guys. He takes a deep breath. “I’ll let you handle them now. I’ll be outside if you need a referee.” Bishop exits and I just stand there, crossed arms again. Both boys refuse to look me in the eye, but instead stare each other down. “Are you just going to stand there?” Angel seethes. I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Give me one good reason as to why I should fix the both of you up? Huh? Because as I see it, this is the fourth time this month…THIS MONTH! Angel, please, humor me and explain to me why the fuck I should tend to your wounds yet again? Maybe if I let you both be, you’ll learn these fights aren’t worth it.” I take a deep breath myself, and I run my hand through my tangled hair, which I then end up putting up in a pony tail right after, I’ll just have to remember to find another hair tie to wear on my wrist later. “Alright, I’m sorry I went off. You two, you two just frustrate me.” I say holding my hands up mimicking a surrender. I take another breath and look between the boys. My gaze is drawn to EZ, probably because he’s the easier one out of the two. “Okay, EZ, I see that nasty cut on your cheek, oh and your hand – good going big brother.” I say as I look over to Angel. He looks away the moment I look his way. “Shocker, EZ gets to be first yet again.” Angel chirps. “Seriously?” I snap. “I’m over here fucking bleeding, I could be dying but all you and anyone ever cares about is Ezekiel.” “Shut it Angel, just shut it, please.” I beg. I start to tend to EZ’s war wounds; some cuts, a nasty one on his cheek – I’m guessing Angel’s rings got the best of him this time around. EZ, he doesn’t say much this time I’m here. I know that he feels the same way as me – he’s tired of this back and forth shit with his brother. “EZ, no more. It’s one thing when you all call me to take a bullet out, or to give a rabies shot, but this shit – playground fights, I’m done.” I explain as I place the last bandage strip to his cheek. EZ doesn’t make eye contact, and his jaw is clenched. His knees shaking. “I know, Lee. I’m sorry you’re doing this again.” EZ tells me as he finally meets my eyes for the first time. EZ, he’s easy to read. He wears his emotions in his eyes, his eyes right now are filled with pain and sadness. This whole feud with Angel, it’s taken a toll on everyone in this club. It’s been almost eight months of this fuckery. “Remove the bandage Sunday night, it needs about 48 hours to heal. If you feel the need to remove it beforehand, clean it thoroughly. Have some of your favorite tequila tonight, and you will be good.” I tell EZ as I throw away the things I used to care for him. “Thanks, Lee.” He says as he kisses me on the cheek and walks somberly out of church. My heart aches for EZ, because the pain – physical and emotional is all over his face and body. Angel hasn’t taken his eyes off of the wall nor has he spoken. I slide my bag down the table as I slowly make my way towards him. Rubber gloves are on, and I grab his face. “Let’s see your damage.” I say, like a dog would when a human goes to check their mouth for something, Angel gives me a little tension as I touch his face. Again, no eye contact. A look of annoyance screams from his expression. I see a nasty cut on the side of his head, by his eye – a sensitive area which bleeds more than most. A black eye is also forming. “Jesus Christ, Angel.” I say examining the cut a little further. “This has to stop. I’m begging. I cannot deal with looking at you two like this, because my fear is that one day, I’m going to be too late to help any of you.” “What if it is?” He spews. I scoff, “No more.” Is all I manage to say. I take out an alcohol swab to clean out his cut. “This is going to sting, on the count of three – one, two, three.” I say as I then put the swab against the cut. A loud hiss comes from Angel and an instant reaction of mine is to grab his face and blow lightly at the cut, helping the sting not be so painful. Angel’s eyes then lock with mine, a look of shock and confusion fill his brown eyes. Angel and I, we’ve had a very interesting relationship since I first came to Santo Padre. He gave me an attitude and I gave it right back – he seemed more pissed off when I talked back than just walking away, and the more I talked back, the more tension built up between us. We started out on the wrong foot, and that’s how we have remained. He lets me care for him, depending on the time of day. Sometimes he lets his girlfriend, well I think she’s his girlfriend, Adelita, clean him up. Today, for whatever reason, he stuck around the clubhouse. I continue to blow on his wound, and I wince back in pain for him because I know it had to sting like a bitch. “Uhh, sorry. It’s a habit of mine, when I treat the kids, I have to do this; they hate it too, so that technique helps them...” I ramble and look away because I sense a bit of embarrassment, as I’ve never been “nice” to Angel. I look and reach back at the table to grab what I need next, just as I turn to face Angel again, I notice a very small smile on his face. “What?” I question, because seeing him smile legit concerns me. “It’s nothing, Leah.” He says monotone and lets me continue working on him. A few more minutes go by, and I determine that he doesn’t need any stitches, just a little butterfly work on one of his eyebrows. “Okay, that’s all. No stitches today, that cut on the side of your face, it’s a sensitive area that bleeds more than most. Your eyebrow cut, it’s an awkward cut – it’s ugly but not ugly enough for stitches. My only request is when you clean it out, could you please use both water and soap?” I emphasize. I know how these guys operate. They either use a dirty rag or tap water to clean themselves up. I turn to clean up my stuff and Angel lets out a minor laugh, which catches me off guard. I look at him and quirk an inquisitive look. Angel stands up, he turns behind his chair and lightly pounds his fist to the back of it. “You sounded just like my ma.” He tells me, in the softest voice I have ever heard Angel speak in. I offer him a small smile as I already know what that history is. Angel leaves church, and per usual no other words are spoken, no thank you’s, nothing. I stay behind a few more moments and collect my thoughts and belongings. I hear the door open, at first I’m startled but relieved it’s just Bishop. “How we doin’, sweetheart?” He asks. I let out a very deep sigh and my facial expression tells my feelings of this whole ordeal. Bishop can’t help but laugh, “I know, Lee. I know.” He tells me as he pulls me in for a hug. “I just need to go home and lay in bed and watch a trashy romcom.” I exclaim as I grab my bag. “I think you’ve deserved that, but before you go – you have a visitor.” He tells me. A look of a deer in the head-lights flashes across my face, who the hell could be visiting me? “Just come with me.” Bishop motions for me to take his hand and follow him. Nerves take over, with the Club, you never know what can happen. As I exit the room, I see the guys scattered all over the clubhouse yet all eyes are on me. “Your visitor is the biggest pain in my ass, so make it quick.” Bishop says, but I catch his playfulness I his voice and I look to the bar and I see who Bishop is talking about – Marcus Alvarez.

#Mayans MC #fanfic #My writing #angel reyes #ez reyes

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faunusrights · 6 years

Text

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 7

when will one of these chapters start with ‘wow murphy’s gonna love this and rly enjoy themself’ WHEN IT IS. I HAVE TO KNOW.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay i am Recognising this chapter so we’re not quite yet in untouched, completely Feral territory which is. nice. thats nice. i like it when i know what im working w/ but who the kell hnows.

Something nagged at her. A forgotten thing. She thought hard, but even so, it took a long moment for her to remember.

me when i go to my room to fetch my dishes for the washing machine but i get sidetracked by my dog being cute and then i forget and go back downstairs and remember the dishes and then i come back up but my dog is still there and i forget again-

i’m just. rly enjoying this glynda. I SAID IT BEFORE BUT IM RLY THRIVING FOR THIS IDIOT WITH ONE BRAINCELL. THE BRAINCELL IS CINDER.

Glynda’s hunting instincts were primed, the only part of her that worked with absolute clarity, even now.

this is why she hasn’t noticed cinder’s flirting, the fool, the blithering idiot,

In the split second before she faded from consciousness, she smelled ash, the foreign Aura within her flaring until she could taste it: burning flesh and steady decay. Then it disappeared, fizzling out.

hm. is it a callout to say this is. romantic. this is kinda romantic. hey is this? gay? i think its gay. im gonna settle on it.

its gay.

When she awoke the next morning, it was like pulling herself from some great void,

H👈A😎H👈

for some reason THAT was the fingergun that made me spill juice all over my keyboard i see how it is

Then she remembered that at Beacon, her blood usually stayed inside her body.

im thriving for this weird observation. you know when you wake up somewhere new like a hotel or smthng and for a moment yr like ‘where am i’ and u figure it out thru like. normal fucking means. like oh thats not my duvet oh thats not my ceiling oh thats not where my window is-

and then glynda has to judge her location by how much blood of hers is spilled in it. this bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE GOT ONE BRAINCELL AND OFFAL HUNT IS THE THESIS TO PROVE IT-

It was the room she’d all but dissembled in after getting her ass kicked and then saved by Cinder Fall.

sorry im going HOG WILD on quotes but these new lines r SO GOOD and im LIVING for them....................... like until now we’ve had glynda goodwitch, terrifying unstoppable woman and occasional dipshit. now shes all dipshit. just 100% pure dipshit. spread her on a field and you couldnt tell her from the manure. a complete buffoon.

that said its nice to see glynda using her Brainmess for once... i mean she still wont be able to put an otherwise fuck-ton of clues together still because that requires, the ability to multitask, which is surely does not have, but finally she’s taking five fuckin minutes to let herself go ‘well THATS weird’.

There had only been a stirring of life along those red-vein tattoos, swirling just along the cut of Cinder’s dress.

im enjoying the new ‘sexey tattoos’ slant we’re seein in this remaster it was a real shame they didnt get primetime attention last time.

also glynda Why Ya Lookin,

Hello,

she’d be a heretic to the Law of Semblances twice-over,

I May Not Know My Semblances, But I Know A Bitch When I See One!

For the first time in years, Glynda wanted to set everything aside and rest.

we stan a sleepy bitch................ ugh im so glad she’s finally realising she needs 2 give herself some mfing slack!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because as much as im enjoying the Dragfest she rly needs to. chill.

When she finally emerged from the bathroom, a towel around her waist and her dirty clothes balled in her hands,

look i didnt make this blog to lie that my first reaction to this was tilting my head and going ‘tiddy out? tiddy? is the tiddy out? tiddy?’

look women look hotter doing all the things guys do and this is fact i wont sit down and i Wont Shut Up

No more rushing ahead and getting herself torn up for nothing.

H👈A😎H👈!

thats a Good One, Glynda,

Winter Schnee had the pale white hair of her bloodline, and the sharp features of the famously reclusive Willow Schnee.

YES BITCH WE ARE IN IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POP THOSE MFING BOTTLES

i have been WAITING. FOR WEEKS. 7 FUCKING WEEKS I HAVE SAT HERE AND WAITED AND IT FINALLY PAID OFF OH MY GOD MY BITCH IS IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Ozpin had said, she was twice the age of the younger Schnee daughter, and her blue eyes held all the acuity that age had brought her.

i made a Sound at this i CAN SEE WHAT YOU DID. I SEE IT. I SEE IT,

A single photo hung on the wall next to a placard detailing some kind of award. Glynda pushed her glasses up on her nose to get a better look. Though it had the appearance of a family photo, only the women of the Schnee family were present, Willow and Weiss flanking a newly ranked Winter.

why am i being targeted directly anyway

safdjhgfsdajgh WINTER,....... im still. im Love w/ this main bitch finally... Finally.... i love winter in offal hunt so fuckign much and im so glad she’s here and that we’re getting more details because AAAAAAAAAAAAAA i love her!!!!!!!!!

also i cant.... say anything because spoilers..... but also............. NNNNNNN this convo has just. so much behind it. SO MUCH CONTEXT. its Killing Me,

A strange expression crossed Winter’s expression. It looked like how bruises felt.

im losing my fucking mind rn diesel and kc are going right to hell and they know it but do they care???????????? no. they already are the devil,

okay i went silent for ages and read ahead because i screamed in discord for like ten minutes and it looked like this

so YEAH theres that, i guess,

Instead, it only filled her with deep unease. Glynda didn't know what Cinder’s game was, but it was becoming clear that it did not align with her own. And the more she thought about it, the less she understood. The less she understood, the more wary she became.

cinder: i wanted to tell this girl i liked her so i wrote her a note that said get out of my desert,

im rly thrivin in this chap i already said it but we’re rly jumping into the meat n bones of the Plot now and its a Good Plot so im excited!!!!!!!!!

“Yes, I think you’ll like her!”

“she’s a lesbian, like you, so maybe her distinguished energy will chill your dysfunctional energies out-”

Glynda pressed her lips; she needed a delicate hand here, needed to carefully choose a response which would divert Ozpin away from the topic. “No reason.”

YES MY FAV LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is Big Me and literally this is MAYBE the best and also funniest line in this entire shitshow remembers the Pasta Bit and /sweats

i also rly enjoy glynda n ozs friendship... i mean im out here remembering the glynda/ozpin/cinder fic so i was already sold on all their interactions but its rly good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GLYNDAS BEST FRIEND MAY BE 200 YEARS OLD BUT GOD DAMN IT WHEN WILL YR BFF EVER BE THERE FOR U LIKE THAT,

theres a Bit here im not gonna go into but. honestly once u kno how offal hunt basically ends? Its Sad and Im Sad. i hate how knowing this whole thing just inflects on everything else and everything glynda wants and honestly this whole fic sucks. why am i reading this AGAIN.

“I have faith in you, Glynda. But there are terrible things that can be done to a person even without killing them.”

👈😢👈

we’ve popped the first sad fingerguns but also What The Literal Fuck, Oz,

“Come and catch me, then.”

im LAUGHING this is much better than the first version because this is SUCH a cinder-brand of shit to say dsfjhgfds she’s SUCH A SHIT-STIRRER but i love her,

“She’s just sent me something. My Scroll is working fine, but I think it’s safe to assume she knows what we’re discussing.”

“What did she send you?”

“An invitation.”

oh finally glynda works out the whole CCT business JHGDSFSDF i wonder if cinder knew shed figure it out or saw her msgs to oz and went ‘ah shit well’

BUT YEAH..... DATE! DATE! DATE! HOT DATE WITH CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am. VERY excited as many of u will remember i made a prime shitpost abt That Chap back in the day and ill have 2 REDRAW IT!!!!!!!!! POPPIN BOTTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway this chapter sucked and was also very good in equal measure. as it is Wont,

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

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cottagecori · 6 years

Note

hey look it's your turn. ALL OF THEM.

I’M ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT THOUGH (under a read more bc it’s loooong)

jasmine; what mythical creature do you wish actually existed?

DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS

lavender; soundcloud or vinyls?

Vinyls!!! I wish I owned some but we don’t have a functional record player in my house (we have a broken one that my dad keeps telling me he’s going to fix but never does which is fine i’m fine)

primrose; what book does everyone right now need to read?

I have two. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AKA MY FAVORITE BOOK OF ALL TIME and Night by Elie Wiesel because it is just so power and eye-opening

lunar mist; do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets?

YES YES YES I AM WEARING MY DAD’S OLD HOODIE RN BECAUSE IT’S SOFT AND GIANT OTHER PEOPLE’S CLOTHES ARE THE BEST. When i have a relationship, I will steal my so’s stuff all the time so yeah

bird of paradise; what was the best thing that happened to you this month?

I started a vlog and it’s actually really nice to do

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself?

to stop pretending like i’m okay and admit when i’m hurt

lion’s fairytale; would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests?

Oh god oH GOD THAT’S SO HARD

Probably the forest because it can be a million different things. It can be a getaway, a mystery, a familiar place. it embodies the feeling of seeing an old friend after a long time and i love it.

whirling butterflies; would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

i’ve never kissed anyone so

marmalade skies; do you plan your outfits?

only when i have to be formal the rest of the time that shirt that’s on my floor works great

apricot drift; how do you feel right now?

numb

everlasting daisy; what’s the last dream you remember having?

i was in boston with you, rose, and my irl friends and we had this giant apartment overlooking the commons and i went to college at emerson and it was nice until there was a murder (bc i was watching scream) and i woke up so yeah i have strange dreams

queen’s cup; what are you craving right now?

french toast with strawberries

lavender dream; turn ons/offs?

maybe another time ;)

water lilly; when was the last time you cried? why?

uh Monday. I have intense family problems that i can’t talk to anyone irl about and then my dad got really mad at me.

lily of the valley; did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize?

no.

winterberry; do you bite or lick your ice cream?

both depending on where it’s from

honey perfume; favorite movie ever?

DO NOT MAKE ME CHOOSE

desert rose; do you like yourself?

does anyone really?

snapdragon; have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity?

I saw Corbyn Besson at my mall once but that’s it

night owl; how many countries have you visited?

I’VE NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE OF THE US AND IT SUCKS

heliotrope; have you ever been in a castle?

creams and sky; what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done?

asked someone out?

lantana; what’s on your mind right now?

the fact that i overslept for a mock exam so now i’m kinda stressed out about how the actual exam will go

pumpkin patch; what’s your zodiac sign?

gemini!

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself.

i can play 4 instruments and am learning a fifth, i like cats more than most people (depending on the people), i love sour candy, i’m addicted to makeup, and i’m not a huge fan of coffee

daphne; do you believe in karma?

to a certain extent

queen of the meadow; ever been in love?

thought i was, not so sure anymore

wisteria; whom do you admire and why?

my friends. they’ve gone through some tough shit and have come out even stronger.

angel’s face; what was your favorite bedtime story as a child?

too many tamales

remember me; did you make someone laugh today?

i have no clue because it is 11 am

iris; do you believe in ghosts?

yes

lilac; if you could go back in time which time period would you visit?

could i change skin color too, bc otherwise i don’t have a lot of options (probably the 90s)

caramel kisses; would you want to live forever? why/why not?

no, because i feel like if you live forever there is more a chance for you to not live at all (thanks tuck everlasting for the lesson)

primula; what makes you sad?

way too many things

rain lily; was today typical? why/why not?

nope it’s a saturday and i’m emotional

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most?

mak, rose, carolyn, linh, my irl friend group, sammie, brenna, caroline

lady’s slipper; what did you have for breakfast today?

dried mago slices (i know i’m sorry, i’m making waffles now)

forget me not; do you have any regrets looking back in your life?

oh god so many

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe?

anywhere with magic and dragons so i can go visit my friends easily

violet; favorite tv show?

The Office

sunflower; share a favorite quote.

I use this one a lot

“Nothing is worth more than laughter. It is strength to laugh, to abandon oneself, to be light” ~Frida Kahlo

snowdrop; what does your ideal day look like?

Walking around the woods, taking cute pictures in fields of flowers, sunny day, starry night, cheesy romcoms played off a projector, good food, better friends

tiger lily; do you have any hobbies?

i write music, it’s hard

peony; share a small random book passage that means something to you.

i can’t think of one off the top of my head unfortunately

tea rose; what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared?

open mic nights

honeysuckle; do you usually date people your age or older/younger?

older idk why i’ve just always been attracted to older people

sweet pea; who means the world to you? why?

my friends because they’ve stuck by me even though i’m fucked up in my personal life and in my head

love in the mist; best books you’ve ever read?

Pride and Prejudice, Night, Ender’s Game, Fangirl, The House on Mango Street, Harry Potter

foxglove; who is your favorite cartoon character?

Phineas, Ferb, and Perry the Platypus

magnolia; coffee or tea?

tea duh

crown imperial; would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved?

extremely loved

snowflake; are you a dog or a cat person?

IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION

bell flower; what is your biggest addiction?

listening to sad music when i’m sad

cosmos; do you ever think about the galaxy?

god it’s so fascinating i think about it probably more than i should

moonflower; what’s your favorite color?

yellow/teal

freesia; do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not?

Parents: complicated. Siblings: Fuck Yeah

sundrop; are you a morning or a night person?

Night but i’m trying to trick myself into being a morning person

poppy; have you ever dealt with a mental illness?

still dealing with depression

clover; how would your friends describe you?

loud, annoying, barely funny, takes no shit (i’m paraphrasing of course)

dandelion; do you consider yourself and extrovert or an introvert?

none of the above. i’m a lil bit of both?

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do?

I’m not really embarrassed about the stuff i watch

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words.

Emotional, Wannabe, Broadway?

lotus; best memory as a child?

baking things with my dad while my mom blasted music throughout the house and cleaned

angelonia; what is your eye and hair color?

Brown, Black respectively

dahlia; do you like crystals?

yeah!

buttercup; if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

guns wouldn’t fucking exist

baby’s breath; what’s your hogwarts house?

R A V E N C L A W BITCHES

calendula; biggest pet peeve?

people who think they don’t have to be kind to working people or leave a giant mess for them to clean up because “it’s their job”

blanker flower; would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet?

i love my friends but give me a rom com and a cat and i’m set for life

blazing star; share a secret.

you wish ;)

carnation; would you rather live longer or happier?

happier 100%

petunia; who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why?

Frida Kahlo. A badass bitch who did so much and never let her injury get the best of her. also Emma Gonzales

bluebell; do you wear glasses?

yuup

nymphea; forest or river?

forest

orchid; do you like exercise?

FUCK NO

pansy; do you like poetry?

i write my own ♥

morning glory; any special talent that you have?

songwriting? singing? playing flute? idk man

i’m so sorry if you actually got this far

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poetsart · 6 years

Text

Who am i ?

I wake up at 5 am to watch the sun rise and drink tea in the mornings because coffee is "too much".

I put on reading glasses to read books and buy the newspaper to read at the park, Have you ever fed birds on a park bench?

Though ducks are my favorite to feed, i read that bread is bad for them and it makes me sad that I didn't know that up until now.

I wonder if any died because i fed them too much.... Shit its way too early to be thinking about this rn.

I love the sound of happy children, they remind me that ill have one of my own, just not anytime soon atleast that's what the plan is.

Crying babies don't annoy me anymore, Instead it makes me sad to see anyone in pain. Its okay lovely human, this planet is a beautiful place i promise... it's the "world" that's become rotten.

I still hate politics..

I've traveled alone so much this year im grateful to have found the true beauty of loving ones self.

When you're alone you get the face your worst self with your best self.

Colorado, Oregon, Chicago and California. Perhaps Washington state is next, have you been ?

I've conquered depression and fought against my issues and I needed no one's assistance .

Now Im perfectly fine with being my self since we've made peace, Roger Morales.

Goodmorning.

#beingmyself #being mindful #loveyourself #independent

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survivor-mountmerapi · 4 years

Text

Ep. 12: “This round feels like a season of glee” - Steven

Anastasia

So I did something finally. I flipped on the newbies and sent Madi home. Honestly the only thing I did differently was actually think about the game and numbers. Plus I talked to people and made a really good bond with DeNara. I'm also a little better with Raffy, not that it matters bcs we are somehow getting Raffy outta here I think. I know the next competition is endurance and that's apperantly Raffy's strong suit. So frick. But I know where everything stands for once. I know who is working with who I THINK. So I just need to survive next round and gain the numbers.

Gian

My revenge is coming for being left out of this vote. Idk when and how I'll do it but I will do whatever it takes.

DeNara

Thank goodness I survived this vote! All thanks to Anastasia! I need a brain break, I am so tired now lol

Raffy

An hour before tribal council, Elle decided that she would give me the immunity necklace. The reasoning she told me is that we need a strong 4 votes to cause a tie. Anastasia told DeNara that she would be flipping on Madi and Gian by voting Rachel (which is what that side thought we were doing). Because of this, I wanted to use my SWP since they would have a 4-3 majority. However, Elle believed that we could not trust Anastasia until after tribal. Anastasia could be lying and wanting me to play the SWP (which Madi and Gian happily spread around) so the newbies would have 4-3. Despite this, I wanted to be safe because I was starting to worry that Madi would play her idol on herself. The compromise would be that Elle would give me the immunity necklace which did occur. Finally, the alliance's acting paid off as Madi misplayed the idol which caused her to get voted out. Now, the Faes alliance is the majority alliance. Wig.

I have new worries going into this round. Anastasia really wants to do big moves, so she should want to vote me out now that Madi is gone. My other worry is that Anastasia is much more loyal and is a solid ally for DeNara, not me. This means, if DeNara was so inclined, she could get the numbers to vote me out. DeNara is going to get a lot of power the further we get. It's very interesting to see what the breakdown is. Due to this, I have decided to keep my door open with Gian. Steven agreed that we could potentially work with Gian to hide behind him as a shield. Also, this is kind of an emotional thing because I really do feel close to Gian. I do not know what kind of move I'd do to keep Gian this round. If he wins immunity, then it would be great and I would not have to do any maneuvering. However, in all scenarios except one, I am betraying my allies which is not a good look for me. My idea is to finally get Rachel out this round, so it would keep Gian in the game while keeping my allies good with me.

Raffy

I got on call with Gian earlier today to express a desire to work with him to target Anastasia or DeNara. I was doing a lot of talking during the call which had me worry as he seemed to just be taking in this information without providing any back. This had me skeptical on whether or not he wanted to work with me. My skepticism was correct. According to DeNara, Gian told Anastasia that I want to target her for being a wildcard this round. He used the information I gave him against me. However, thanks to my very good relationship with DeNara, I am now in the know that he does not want to work with me. Bye Gian. Say hi to Madi in jury for me. I might just use my SWP just to be sure. Plus, it forces Anastasia to target Gian instead of me for this round.

Raffy

The current plan is for DeNara to tell Anastasia that she is willing to flip after a bit of reluctance. In actuality, we are just trying to make them think that Gian is the vote. At tribal, we will all vote for Rachel instead in case there is an idol. I am VERY nervous for this tribal. I do not want to be here. According to DeNara, Elle would be the person the newbies vote for if I leave which is perfectly fine with me. I need to survive. I have to get to F6. There's really no guarantee that this plan even works in the first place. And does DeNara even trust me after hearing all that information from Gian's rat mouth? UGH. The paranoia is way too high for my liking.

DeNara

Honestly this game is so tiring, why do I torture myself with this stress? Oh because I love Survivor that's why. Lol. Soooooo Anastasia wants to flip on Raffy, Steven and Elle and take Raffy out of the game because he is a threat. Which means I am in the middle....AGAIN. It is Raffy, Elle, and Steven vs. Gian, Rachel and Anastasia. I want to stay with Raffy, Elle and Steven and take out Rachel this vote and then flip and take Raffy out next vote so I can keep the numbers but I am super super super nervous of Raffy. I caught Raffy in a lie today. I talked to Gian and he said he was on call with Steven and Raffy earlier and that Raffy was throwing my name out because I have a good relationship with Elle, Rachel and Anastasia (which I do). I called Steven and he admitted that the 3 of them did talk, but he said that Raffy was saying Rachel the whole time, not me. BUT when I went on call with Raffy, Steven and Elle I told Raffy that Gian said he went on call with him and he started to make an excuse saying he was at school all day and that wasn't true. THEN Steven said to Raffy that he already told me they were on call so Raffy had to back track..... All the newbies are saying to Raffy that they are voting for me.... so I am scared Raffy is working with the newbies to get me out since I have become such a threat.

Steven says it wouldn't make any sense for Raffy to flip and get me out now, but if they all think I have become a bigger threat than Raffy, he could very well flip and take me out. I really really hope Raffy is being honest about wanting to vote Rachel out or I am super hecked tomorrow. Here is to hoping I am in the game after the next tribal!!!!!!!

Gian

After a very insightful conversation with the VL, I've decided to grab the game by the balls and attempt to get out the kingpin of the game (again) or at least weaken him by taking out one of his minions. I'm being super careful this time about everything. Saying the right things to the right people can cause panic and paranoia and victimizing myself from the last vote--I'm using that to my advantage. Let's hope this pays off. If not, at least I'm leaving with a big swing!

DeNara

My morning of paranoia continues. I don't think Raffy will flip because it would be a stupid move rn, but I do think I need to be careful. This will likely be the last time I can truly play the middle like I have been.

I feel so bad about lying to Anastasia because she did save me, but this is what is best for my game. I also feel bad for Rachel because we have gotten close and I dont want to vote her out. Really I want Gian out next but I have to stick with my alliance.

Rachel

I love the misconceptions of this game. Even if i'm on the outside. That was an excellent play by the returnees. I am so sad to see Madi go! She was with Gian and I since day 1. I can never repay her for using her idol for me. I am just shocked Anastasia flipped too, but I understand her reasoning (even though i thought we we're a solid 4). Hopefully we can make a big move this round and if not, we'll go out trying! I just hope Gian and I are truly not at the bottom. I wish we got Raffy out sooner, but only cause he is such a great player-socially and strategically.

Elle

I'm in class rn lol but here's a convo I just had with Dylan in my Host Chat 10:10 AM VL: The amount of lies I've heard and confirmed they are lies before 9am is absolutely terrifying to me 😅 GUYS THIS IS GONNA BE SO MESSY OMG Dylan, 10:12 AM wild what all is happening 10:14 AM so yesterday, gian went on call with steven and raffy to vote denara out but then on our alliance call, raffy tried to deny any meeting when denara asked, until steven was like "no okay we called, to vote out rachel" and now denara is being a double agent trying to convince the newbies shes gonna vote for raffy in exchange for safety so it seems like maybe the newbies dont actually want denara out and are trying to scare her into siding with them? why raf and steven are lying i dont know Dylan, 10:18 AM spicy [tiktok voice] that’s suspicious...that’s weird re: raffy and steven 10:20 AM mhm?? like it's fine if they're tricking the newbies but why lie to us anyway im perfectly out of the direct loop completely because now ppl think im completely in raffy's pocket but also that me and denara are probs close so im just "she's there." Dylan, 10:22 AM oof not a fun position to be in 10:23 AM nah im fine w it i hate lying lmao this way im mostly just watching it happen while talking to ppl about like, good playlists khjdlsajldj

Anastasia

So I got Denara on board with teaming with the newbies and together we will all take down Raffys trio hopefully. We will most likely target Elle instead of Raffy so we can take out one of his minions. I think the safest option would be to vote Steven because I think nobody would expect that but Gian insists Elle. I think Elle has an idol. Lets just hope she feels safe. ALSO IM SO GLAD IM SAFE but now im just worried for my future because I obviously need numbers to move on.

Elle

D: I don't knowwww whats happening okay so basically it seems like neither side has an idol and is psyching the other out that they do but probability wise at least one person has an idol rn??? So idk ugh :/ what the heck is going on anyway I'm making a playlist and i need new music for it send me a song recc everyone reading this like a month later i promise ill give any song a listen🎶

Raffy

The plan seems to be going well. DeNara has successfully infiltrated the newbie group and is leaking their shit. According to her, the newbies are scared that I have an idol and want to target Elle instead. I would love to push this narrative, but I don't know how. If I can get them to target Elle over me, then this would be great. However, I do believe now that they do not have an idol based on all that DeNara has spilled on their paranoia. It should be a successful 4-3 with Rachel getting the boot. Then, I am guaranteed F5 in this game.

Steven

This round feels like a season of glee where people are just trying to hit plot points with no rhyme or reason

Steven

https://youtu.be/xfJ6x988Dqw

DeNara

I am in the middle and so stressed. Do I vote Rachel or Raffy?!?!?!?! Maybe it is me

DeNara

I am so stressed... oh my gosh! If I get voted out, it was a great move by the others and I will regret not voting Raffy

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