#but maybe that makes it more upsetting somehow

[daenysthedreamersblog]

SECRETS OF US - I

i knew it, i know you

it all changed for me and i told you

you had the wrong idea about me

masterlist

summary: you needed the fine arts credit to fill your schedule and finish out your junior year at university, but so did your sworn enemy coriolanus snow because of course he did.

warnings: swearing

paring: modern!coriolanus snow x reader

notes: omg so happy to have this out!! this story has been so fun to write!! i hope u enjoy!! it took me way too long to write this whole story out but its finally ready to have someone else enjoy it (hopefully)

You're staring forward with a blank expression on your face as your mother rambles into your ear through the phone. You chew your cuticle to avoid sighing or groaning at her, letting her into the obvious feelings of annoyance of the subject of her conversation; your father, your career, your school.

"Yes. Yes, Mom I know." You scoop up the iced coffee into your hands and make for the door. You shift your bag around shoving the phone further into shoulder as your other one pushed the door open. "I'll come visit for the holidays I promise." You lie turning around the glass door and smacking into a solid wall. Your coffee smashes to the floor and all over your feet, "I am so-Oh it's you." You glance down as your destroyed beverage, "I have to go." You hang up mid questions.

He glares at you, "Do you ever watch where you're going?"

"Do you?" You shove back inside to grab napkins to clean the coffee off of your ankles. You grab your now empty cup and toss it into the trash along with the wet napkins before pushing past him down the street. You don't even try to go and reorder too annoyed and needing distance from him of all people. "You owe me $6 for that coffee you made me spill."

"I made you spill." He catches up to you matching your stride easily with his long legs and you feel more annoyance settle into your stomach. "You ran into me!"

You don't even look over at him as you cross the street. "You should have held the door open for me like a gentleman."

He snorts, "You've known me our whole lives...when have I ever been a gentleman?"

"Maybe you could start." You take a left to head down another block your campus coming into sight. It had been three years since you had seen him, three peaceful years of never having to look at his aggravating face besides a rare sighting in the library, but what should have been a docile dislike still burned in a raging blaze of fury. You searched for maturity, for a sophisticated phrase to send him off, but he brought out the worst in you. "Don't you have somewhere else to be? Schemes to plot in an evil lair?"

"I actually am heading to class this way too." He chuckles. "Has anyone ever told you you are a ray of sunshine?"

You smile sarcastically, "I would be a lot nicer if I had my coffee."

"So dramatic." He shakes his head laughing at you. You stop, looking at his grinning face. Three years and time had treated him well which only infuriates you more. He was taller somehow, his hair shorter and trained straight instead of those adolescent curls you begrudgingly despised. There was slight bags under his eyes no doubt from the start of the semester changing his sleep habits because you were the same, even more reason to be upset over spilled coffee. He looked good, and it made you hate him even more.

You decide not to respond, but pick up your own pace to put distance between you and your sworn enemy, but he kept following. You knew he had classes in this building since you had the same classes given he decided to pick the same major as you, but when you take a right down the stairs you believe he's simply following you. "You're being creepy."

He points ahead of you, "I have class this way too... like I told you." Your stomach drops. No, no, no this can't be happening. You reel on him eyes narrowed in anger watching his smug face slowly drop in realization as well. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I needed the fine art credit."

He pinches the bridge of his nose, "So did I."

You slap you hands against your legs in exasperation because of course you had the same curriculum with the same required credits. "You simply always need to copy me."

"Could say the same about you." He pushes past you and into the classroom ahead. It wasn't just a classroom, it was a theater. You had chosen this for the credit on your transcript because it was different than anything else you have done, you had a chance to prove yourself in something new, be the main lead if you wanted; gain attention, notoriety, and an ever growing boost to your resume. You chose it because you knew you would excel and exceed where others could not simply based on who you were and how you treated everything academically in your life.

Okay maybe you also figured it would be a fairly easy pass.

And so had you old Academy rival Coriolanus Snow.

It wasn't horrible. He mostly sat on the opposite end of the room as you and you barely had to interact with each other those first few classes. It had consisted of generic information, a slow introduction to the world of pretending, nothing too intense that you knew was surely coming.

You had the same major, political science with a minor in business, but you had had freedom structuring when you took certain subjects, carefully crafting something that never put him a few desk away from you again, thankfully you both never had crossing seminars...besides this one.

You and Coriolanus Snow had a long history together. You had grown up together, not closely, and not anything of note, enough to be aware of each other, but this growing animosity didn't take root truly until you both attended Academy together. You can't always picture how it started in the depths of your mind, but it had been there for some reason. You see snippets of niceties but that always seemed like delusional daydreams of a world that never existed, never could exist. You had both wanted to be top of the class, always fighting for the number one position, teacher's favoritism, student body president, valedictorian... It gnawed at both of you eating away at any form of camaraderie to the point anyone who knew you, knew you hated each other.

You glared over at him as he wrote things down in his notebook. You knew he would be attending University with you, you wished he had been dumb enough to not be accepted, but nope he was here, sitting a few seats away from you again. And of course the asshole had to be gunning for you here just the same.

"Alright my lovely students." Mr. Flickerman clapped his hands. "Now that were a couple classes in I want to go over our huge project for the year." You sat up straight, this was your moment. "I have written a play that we will be performing, and I'll be holding auditions next week for different parts." He smiled glancing around the room, "The final show won't be until the end of the spring semester, and as we go through it we'll be going over different techniques of line delivery and stage directions and play writes...you get the point. Once we're done you won't be able to view a show without analyzing it."

The class flatly laughs.

You smile after he dismisses you heading down to the sign up sheet quickly. You wanted the lead, you needed the lead. You wanted him to be so impressed he makes a reporter come down here to add you to the paper. Okay that was silly. Mostly you wanted your father to come watch and maybe see your more than just his pawn, that maybe there was more to you than his perfect molding. You wanted Coriolanus to be some boring side part with no lines that no one would ever pay attention to. You scribble you name down on the part you want and take the script copies home to practice and then you're heading back home to your apartment with that ever growing fire under you.

You lose yourself in preparing for it you barely hear your phone ring until it goes off for the second time. "Tell me you're getting dick and that's why you're not answering."

"I wish Clem." You run your hand over your face. "No I'm studying up for something."

She groans, "You're so boring, come out with us tonight there's a new place in town that has really good espresso martinis."

"I can't." You sigh. "Maybe once I land this part."

"Wait." She chuckles. "Part? Is this for that theater class you wanted to take or does daddy have you off doing side quests again?"

You actually laugh as you set the script aside, "It's for a class, for a credit I need." You trace the words absentmindedly. "I figured it would be different...fun. Nice break between all the other boring shit I'm doing." You stare down at the lines of your future male counterpart, "You'll never guess who-!"

"Are you and Coriolanus Snow in the same fucking class...again?" She sounds shocked as if the possibility of running into him had always been small despite the agitation around it every coming semester.

You flop back onto the couch, "Yes ugh he's obsessed with ruining my life."

"Surprised the building hasn't combusted from your two inflated egos." Clemensia jokes.

"His is bigger than mine."

She laughs even louder. "I'm sure it is darling. Well, I got to run, our car is here but you'll have to tell me how it all goes next weekend over these martinis if they're actually any good."

"It's a date." You smile as the line cuts off plunging you into silence. You shove the script away and stand up going to your fridge grabbing out the bottle of wine and opening it to pour yourself a large glass. You sit back down on the couch, curling your feet under yourself as you scroll through social media.

You find yourself on his page seeing his stupid pictures with his stupid face doing stupid things as you sip on your wine. It wasn't fair that someone so annoying was so good looking, it also wasn't fair that he was aging like fine wine. You chuckle into your own wine. You keep scrolling and scrolling through his pictures more of your wine disappearing before you neared when he was back in Academy with you. You pause on one of him with a group of the other boys. He looked so young, with his longer blonde curling hair, and a little grin on his lips before the cruel world could steal the light from his eyes. You're trying to zoom in when your phone slightly slips the red heart appearing on your screen.

"Oh no." You quickly unlike the photo. "Shit, shit, shit." You close the app throwing your phone across the couch. Maybe he wouldn't see it. You drain your wine, your nerves buzzing.

Your phone vibrates.

"Are you stalking me?"

It spreads out across your bright screen that sends adrenaline coursing through your thumping heart. It's a direct message from him.

You stare at it for so long considering all your options. You could lie, say it was your friend, a pet you didn't have, maybe you were babysitting or hacked! You could just tell him you slipped but then he would know you were looking through his old photos.

You could just...never respond.

"I thought I blocked you." Is all you type back. He didn't need an explanation, or your time and beating heart, screw him.

"Clearly not if you're looking through my photos from years ago." He types back too quick, "Reminiscing on the good ole' days?"

You tap your fingers on the side of your phone, "You did look so innocent back then, how deceiving." You're on your feet going to the fridge for more wine to avoid the three little bubbles going off while he typed back.

"What are you doing right now besides looking at pictures of me?"

"What?"

"Can you read?"

"Yes, but why do you care."

"Call it boredom..."

"Drinking."

"What are you drinking?"

"The blood of my enemies."

He doesn't respond for a while, so long you think this little game is finished. But then your phone goes off again bringing a blush to your cheeks as you read his message, "You wish."

You never type back, you turn your phone off and go to bed.

You avoid messaging him again the rest of the weekend heading to class with your head down. You blames the alcohol for even letting you give him the time of day. You take your seat in your normal spot grabbing out your notebook as a coffee slides across your desk. You follow the hand holding it until you're staring into his blue eyes. "Figured it's better than the blood of your enemies." He says finally taking his hand off of it you glance at his name scribed out on the cup by the barista then back to him, "And I owed you one from last time." You scowl at him, "It's not poisoned."

You narrow your eyes at him venom dripping from your ever present emotional fangs, "Just because we had a little DM session doesn't mean we're friends."

He rolls his eyes, "Can't you just accept one act of kindness and move on."

"I don't trust your kindness." You cross your arms, "It's manipulative."

"At least I can fake kindness, you don't have a nice bone in your body."

You smirk, "Only to people I don't like."

He glares at you, "Then block me." He storms off.

"I did already!" You lie watching his back as he makes his way to the other side of the room. You trace the letters of his name.

You get the lead...obviously. The play was an original romantic tragedy that Flickerman had constructed, you were surprised by his lighthearted nature he was able to produce something so solemn, something that encompassed what you had always longed for within romantic entertainment; yearning and passion; everything your life lacked. It didn't matter as long as you did well with what you were given, and you would. You had to.

Clemensia had kept true to her word by taking you out for celebratory drinks, and as your drinks clink with your friends you can picture the applause you will receive after the performance, the smug smile on your face as Coriolanus lurks in the shadow of anonymity. "You always were into the dramatics." Arachne Crane watches you over the rim of her drink.

"Well now I can put that trait to good use." You laugh taking a drink.

"How romantic is it?" Clem ask with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

You shrug, "Nothing crazy just some kissing scenes."

Arachne swirls her drink, "Do you know your scene partner? Is he at least cute?"

You racked your brain trying to imagine the rest of the class, for some reason the only 'cute' person that showed up in your imagination was Coriolanus, and that didn't seem accurate because he wasn't cute, he was annoying. "No idea Arch." You sigh, eyes wandering out into the dim restaurant, but your phone vibrates in your purse.

You glance at your friends who are engrossed in their side conversation before tugging your phone gently out of your purse. You chew on the side of your finger smirking down at your phone reading the name pinging on your screen.

Then its being ripped out of your hands, "Who has you smiling-Coriolanus Snow!" Arachne's eyes widened in shock, "'I thought you blocked me.' That isn't even clever and why don't you have him blocked?"

"Yes, how did he ever get through those defenses." Clem chuckles. You had never blocked him during your time at the Academy, it had never seemed important at the time, and after the whole direct message debacle you had blocked him...for about a day.

You snatch your phone back, "I must have forgot and he's in the same class as me, probably just wants to ask about a test or something."

"I did. How did you figure out I unblocked you?"

"Curiosity killed the cat, also I'm smart."

"So I'm the cat or are you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, kitten."

Your head spins, he's teasing...right? "Then what are you in this story?"

"Whatever you want me to be."

"Are you flirting with me Coriolanus Snow?"

"Do you want me to flirt with you...kitten?"

You know your face is flushed, why did he text you when you had been drinking and can't think straight. Why was he even talking to you? He wasn't flirting with you, he hated you and you hated him and that had always been the status quo you both enjoyed. This had to simply be banter to get into your head, to throw you off, he's always been personable, smoozing his way to the top, sarcastically nice towards you; this seemed different. "Gross." You had sent the puking emoji for good measure.

You watch the three bubbles for quite some time, you actually begin to feel bad you were on your phone but it dragged you in for some reason, making it incapable to look away, like a horrible car wreck happening in the palm of your hand.

Until finally his messaged popped up, "Congratulations on getting the part, looking forward to working with you." He had sent a kissing emoji next to it making your heart stop.

"He's my scene partner." You stare up at your friends all joy dripping out of you. "He got the lead part too." Because who else in that room would have been capable if not him.

Arachne nearly spits her drink out while Clemensia burst out laughing. "Oh that is perfect."

"Who knows." Arachne states condescendingly, "Maybe it will bring you two...closer." Which only brings laughter from both of them as you put your head in your hands. This was bad, bad news and you needed to end it before wreckage could ensue.

Once the week starts you go into class earlier than everyone to search out Mr. Flickerman. This had to be some mistake, or game he must be playing at to continue to ruin your life. "Professor." You breath. "I need to talk to you about the play."

He doesn't look up at you as he filters through papers, "What about?"

"Coriolanus can't be my scene partner."

Mr. Flickerman glances up at you. "Why not? I think you two will be wonderful, you both had the best auditions for your respective roles."

You close your eyes trying to phrase it nicely. "We have a long history and-!"

"Romantically?"

You cringe, "Gods no."

"Then what's the issue?"

You sigh. "We don't like each other and I'm worried that will...reflect in our performances."

Mr. Flickerman pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are you backing out then?"

"No." You stand up straighter, why would you ever give into him. "He should."

He laughed. "Good luck convincing him of that." But he saw the distressed look on your face and took a deep breath. "Look I suggest perhaps figuring your issues out, maybe this will be a bonding experience!" He nudged you with his shoulder, "Maybe it will heal old wounds."

You know you won't get anywhere, he's too caught up in making his play perfect for reviews and you didn't blame him. You turn around watching Coriolanus striding down the row of desk in all his wicked glory. "This is a new low for you Snow." You seethe at him. "I know you're only doing this to make me back out."

"Did you?" He smirked but for some reason its doesn't have the usual flair behind it.

You held you chin up. "No, and I won't be, but you will."

He leans down, closer to your face. "Is that a threat, kitten?" You feel the blush burning through your cheeks and he laughs at you. It's the first time he uses the pet name outside of your phone and you lose words. "Have fun trying though." He pushes past you towards his seat leaving you grid your teeth in frustration.

He was impossible, he was rude and narcissistic and-and you had to kiss him or else your pride would be in shambles. You wouldn't-couldn't back out or else you'd be viewed as a failure, a quitter.

You would have to kiss Coriolanus Snow.

endnotes: hope u all enjoyed this first chapter i had hopes the first chapter was longer but alas this is where we are at!! hoping you stick along for the ride!!

CHAPTER 2 coming 11/29

[swordbreakerz]

I get rly jealous of painters (digital and otherwise but mostly digital) sometimes bc they have the skill and knowledge to be able to do style studies of famous painters, and I frequently have the urge to do some kind of leyendecker study but I patently CANNOT paint, at all, I don't even rly render I am a flat colors and cel shading kind of artist so it would just be kind of useless to attempt bc the style I make art in just isn't the kind that I can do those kinds of experiments in and it feels Bad

[overtake]

some of you are in a monogamous relationship with eternal misery. the way you manage to find negativity in everything is exhausting. you are not being a realist. you are just going out of your way to find the bad where it does not exist.

[lilowoof]

ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

[alchemiclee]

been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)

[doushiteworld]

Proseka friend told me that both God-Ish and All I Need Are Things I Like are being added to the game on JP covered by Nightcord (God-Ish) and Wonderlands x Showtime (All I Need Are Things I Like) and oh boy am I scared. They're also adding (Not) a Devil but it's not covered so I'm not worried about that

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Opals and Moonstones

AKA Smol Once Again Uses Birthstones And Birth Flowers To Do Character Analysis. This time we have a twofer, as we'll be looking at Nishiki AND Kiryu! (with a bonus Yumi!) (this is gonna be another long one so please do check out under the cut)

Let's start with Nishikiyama.

His birth date is October 8th, 1968, leaving him with the birthstones opal and tourmaline (originally specifically pink tourmaline but now includes all types).

Now, apparently, tourmaline is the modern birthstone for October, and was made so in 1952 with the approval of the American Gem Society and the National Retail Jewellers Council. I will expand on this stone in another post, because it's the opals I really want to focus on (although it's worth noting that both stones are apparently good for emotional stabilisation, grounding, and healing. :) )

You see, the reason they threw in pink tourmaline as new birthstone is apparently because "In October’s case, the opal was seen by many to be too feminine in appearance and there were questions about its durability". Opals are a very delicate stone, with a water content of 5-10%, which leaves them very vulnerable to cracking under very dry conditions or sudden changes in temperatures. It can even cause them to shrink or expand, so they need a bit more care and maintenance (although you can apparently improve them by wetting them with a lil bit of water, which, idk, I find that fun because fish live in water, 'nishiki' is a koi, you get me?)

We all saw how Nishiki handled suddenly having most of his family and support network ripped from him plus the added pressure of running a new family full of people who very openly disrespect him and see him as some useless weakling they're all obligated to deal with. I'm not the only one who sees the opal parallels, right?

So, opals are a soft, feminine, easily damaged stone, but they also represent love, passion, luck, and healing, and associated with channelling strong emotions. In Roman times it was called the Cupid Stone, and was well-sought after, so overall has a lot of positive meanings and connotations...until a random-ass novel accidentally lead to them being considered bad luck. How dandy.

Now, Kiryu. And by extension, Yumi.

Kiryu's birth date is June 17th, 1968, and Yumi's is June 30th, 1971. (I find it very amusing that Kiryu forgot about Yumi's birthday when it's only a couple of weeks after his lmao)

This means that these lucky ducks actually get three birthstones: alexandrite, pearl, and moonstone.

Alexandrite apparently brings luck, intellect, and prosperity, somewhat similar to tourmaline (it can even be a similar colour to it). Pearls on the other hand symbolise wisdom, especially wisdom gained through experience, as well as calmness, integrity, and loyalty.

I think this is very fitting for our favourite dragon, isn't it? A man whose experiences help him grow from a naive kid into a man who stands by his principles and does whatever he can to help and protect his loved ones althoughitcanbearguedhowmuchhelearnsbutthatsapostforanotherday

But again, there's a particular stone I want to look at, which is of course the moonstone.

It's another stone associated with good luck and fortune, apparently considered sacred in India. It's also a stone of new beginnings and inner growth and strength. Again, fitting for Kiryu's return to Kamurocho after 10 years in the joi- behind bars. However, the reason it interests me is its connections and similarities with opals.

See, at first thought/glance, the two stones are very similar. They're (usually) a white colour but reflect an entire rainbow. And yet, they do so differently; moonstones has what's called 'adularescence', a faint glow akin to the moon shining on the ocean's surface, whereas opals are, naturally, 'opalescent', which is more glittering specks of colour.

Both stones are associated, of course, with the moon and the ocean (as are pearls). Both are considered good-luck charms, are meant to ground emotions, and are associated with femininity. Like, look at this:

Doesn't this sum them up? They're similar but different; Kiryu's calmer, grounding presence combined with Nishiki's more emotional, passionate nature. No wonder the two of them make such a great team!!!

And then I saw this:

:)))))))

It's just....if we keep up with the birthstone imagery/parallels, this means that the two people Nishiki loves the most are 'spiritually' incompatible. That, and the fact that opals are "softer and more easily damaged compared to moonstone" (see how Kiryu handles adversity vs Nishiki handling his struggles). Yknow despite this long-ass post I really don't know quite how to articulate what I'm trying to say, but I'm hoping you see what I mean?

The two men need each other and are stronger together however this strength is so amplified that when the two are separated Nishiki looks so much weaker in comparison, at least in others eyes. He cries, he gets overwhelmed, he lashes out and yells when he's angry, he makes his emotions known. He cares so much about image and how he presents himself to the world, but he has the bad luck of being next to a man with freakish levels of raw brute strength and a naturally stoic outward appearance that he just isn't as impressive in comparison, even though he's NOT unimpressive or incapable! I'm pretty sure that of the two, Nishiki actually knows what the fuck he's doing!

And that's the thing, people think Nishiki is nothing without Kiryu, himself included, but what is Kiryu without Nishiki? The man loves his brother, and I think he's the only one who seems to have an inkling of Nishiki's worth. The two banter and he's like "oh, like you know so much" about being a yakuza and how one should act, but I do think Kiryu trust Nishiki. He goes along with what he says for the most part because he 'knows' that Nishiki knows what he's talking about. He looks up to Nishiki. He sacrificed his freedom to protect him. After those 10 years he wanted to see his brother again.

Unfortunately, a lot changed in those 10 years. The opal cracked under the pressure. Its power and influence grew but its sense of self and stability shrank, leaving it both far too big and far, far too small for its setting. All it needed was a bit maintenance, a bit of care. But it didn't receive that. And instead, the moonstone ended up alone.

[johndonneswife]

not a sad ‘woe is me’ post so don’t send me weird messages but: the thing abt cycling through every ED possible and being bulimic for like 10 yrs & making yourself vomit up to 10x times per day on ur worst days is that your teeth and gums will eventually give out on you (bc it doesn’t make a difference if you’ve been good & it doesn’t matter how well you’ve taken care of your teeth for the last x years) and u will be 30 years old crying to your very sweet and kind dentist when she tells you about the 1 million things that are wrong with ur teeth

[deerest-me]

really,

truly,

deeply,

wish i was not like this

[noxiatoxia]

idc if this is controversial but if you say you genuinely want all people of a certain, uncontrollable category (sexuality, race, gender) dead or you hate them, that's just gross. yes this includes straight people cis people white people men. just because it isn't homophobic or systemically racist doesnt give you a free pass to be an asshole.

[hellfireeddiemunson]

sick of making plans with a specific friend only for her to not reach out abt actually hanging out until the afternoon after i’ve waited all day to hear back from her or for her to just cancel last minute entirely after i’ve again waited all day to hear back from her

[confused-and-dickless]

HUNGRY. I WANT FOOD. WHAT DO I WANT. I M TIRED. I NEED TO BE HELD.

[fingertipsmp3]

Should I just write my cowboy falls in love with a werewolf idea. I’m starting to think it’s the only fun idea I’ve had recently

[cosmicheartz]

One thing I’ve been kinda stumped on regarding Solange kicking the Nari and the Bishops out of her Flock/Cult is how they’d react

For some additional context she chose to heal the bishops and all that but after she healed the last one ( most likely Shamura ) she straight up tells them that she will be kicking them out of the flock.

She also does not get along with any of them ( maybe Leshy but that’s only bc they can both relate to each other being made gods at a young age ) along with utterly despising Nari

Like on one hand I don’t think any of them really wanted to be in Solanges flock but also I feel like at least one of them would be pissed off

I particularly can’t figure out how Nari would react bc it rlly can go either way with him being pissed off or him being like “ fine I didn’t even wanna be here anyways “

[sn0wcake]

Comphet ace gay tavros u will always b canon to me <3

[scoliosisgoblin]

I thought your ybf art was Adam Sandler like specific Dracula from hotel Transylvania I’m so sorry

OHHHH

man I love Drac in hotel transylvania (only 1, the rest are eh)

anyway I forgot to respond to this, it's what made me draw Vampire Peter so yeah thank you for the inspo ;)