#but maybe that makes it more upsetting somehow
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chheolie · 2 days ago
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dad seokmin forgot to keep his promise
seokmin was having one of those days where he planned to spend the entire afternoon entertaining his son with the most outlandish games he could think of. full of enthusiasm, he turned on the toy fire truck, which started zooming across the floor with its lights flashing and siren echoing throughout the room.
"look at this, buddy!" he exclaimed, excitedly, calling his little one over to watch the toy in action.
but to his surprise, his son, sitting on the floor with a surprisingly firm look, just crossed his arms and put on an expression that looked way too serious for a three-year-old. his little lips pushed out into a dramatic pout, as if he was experiencing the worst day of his life.
seokmin raised an eyebrow, confused, trying to decipher the unexpected reaction.
“is he mad about something? or maybe he just doesn’t like fire trucks anymore?” he thought, watching his son curiously.
determined to keep trying, he brought the truck closer and attempted to get him excited again.
"let’s put out the fire, son!" he said in an upbeat tone, waving the toy from side to side, trying to make it as fun as possible.
to his complete shock, the little boy, still with his pout intact, kicked the truck with his chubby foot, sending it sliding across the rug until it bumped against the couch leg. the kid’s angry face only grew, and the pout? somehow, it looked even bigger.
seokmin had to try really hard not to laugh. he felt his lips tremble with the urge to let out a chuckle, but he held it back. he didn’t want to make his little one any more upset.
"okay, my love… you don’t want to play with the fire truck," seokmin said in a softer, more paternal tone. "how about we go for a walk outside?" he suggested, smiling as if it was the most amazing idea ever.
the boy looked at his dad with a mix of disapproval and stubbornness, then turned his face away, crossing his arms even tighter.
seokmin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling clueless. he tried everything he could think of – he even offered to go outside and watch the “big trucks” his son usually loved to see, but nothing worked. feeling at a loss and a little desperate, he finally picked up his phone to call for help from the real expert: his wife.
with quick fingers, he typed a message, and soon his phone buzzed with a reply.
seokmin: babe, help.
he saw the typing bubbles pop up and then the message appeared.
seokmin: i think i just became our son’s number one enemy. 😩😩
y/n: 🤨 really? why?
seokmin: he won’t talk to me. won’t play with his favorite fire truck, doesn’t even want to go outside…
y/n: did you ask him why? maybe it’s something important
seokmin: babe… he’s only three. how’s he supposed to know how to explain what he’s feeling? 🥺
y/n: 🙄 ASK HIM, seokmin.
seokmin was ready to finally fix the situation, but he couldn’t resist asking his son one more time, now that the little boy seemed a bit less upset.
"son, did daddy do something wrong? why are you so upset?" he gently held his son’s tiny shoulders. "is there anything daddy can do to make you not be mad anymore?"
the little boy looked at him, still pouting, and said in a slightly teary voice, "you… you pwomised… stwawbewwy ice cweam… and you fowgot!"
seokmin had to cover his mouth to hide his laughter. of course, it was about food! and he vaguely remembered mentioning something about ice cream the night before, but with all the excitement and games, he’d completely forgotten.
"oh, son… i’m really sorry! daddy forgot about the ice cream!"
seokmin quickly grabbed his phone and texted his wife, almost as if he needed her to witness what he’d just discovered.
seokmin: babe, he said it
seokmin: i promised him strawberry ice cream after lunch, can you believe it? 😩😩
almost immediately, her reply came in.
y/n: really? i’m a witness.
seokmin: i forgot i’d promised that 😳
seokmin: but… how could he remember that? he’s just a baby!
y/n: he’s your son, seokmin. your legacy: selective memory for sweets and pizza.
seokmin: 😅😅😅😅😅
y/n: give him his ice cream before he packs his bag to run away from home.
laughing at the thought of his son packing a bag and searching for a new home that took ice cream promises seriously, seokmin headed to the kitchen to prepare the long-awaited treat. he grabbed a small bowl, added a few scoops of strawberry ice cream, and went all out: strawberry syrup, colorful sprinkles, and of course, a cherry on top. he carried the bowl back to the living room like it was a trophy, still imagining which uncle his son might ask for refuge with. maybe vernon? surely he wouldn’t forget a promise.
"here it is, buddy! your strawberry ice cream, with everything you deserve!"
the little boy, now with bright eyes, immediately dropped his pout and grabbed the bowl with both tiny hands, amazed by what he saw.
"yummy!" he said, fully focused on the ice cream and visibly happy.
seokmin crouched down beside him and asked hopefully, "so… do you forgive me for forgetting?"
the child nodded, but he was so engrossed in the ice cream that seokmin wasn’t sure if the forgiveness was genuine or just temporary. the ice cream was clearly priority number one.
he quickly sent another message to y/n.
seokmin: he forgave me…
seokmin: but i’m not sure we’re totally okay yet… i think his heart’s still divided between the ice cream and the grudge.
y/n: hahaha, i’m glad for you, babe.
seokmin watched as his son enjoyed the ice cream, and with each spoonful, the little boy let out a happy “mmm!” while seokmin watched, relieved to have made things right.
when his little one finished, he held up the empty bowl and grinned.
"was it good?" seokmin asked, smiling back at him.
"good, good!" he replied with his sweet little voice and eyes shining with joy.
suddenly, the boy got up, handed the bowl back to seokmin without much ceremony, and ran over to the fire truck still sitting on the floor.
"wooo woo woo woo!" he started imitating the fire truck siren with excitement, waving his dad over to join the game.
seokmin wasted no time. he ran to the kitchen to put the bowl down and, in seconds, was back in the living room, ready for the new mission to save the world. he pretended to put on an invisible firefighter helmet and gave his son a salute.
"firefighter seokmin reporting for duty!" he announced with a determined, goofy expression. "what’s the emergency, chief?"
his son held onto the toy truck, looking at him with serious little eyes.
"fire! big fire! daddy, come!" he shouted, running around the room with the truck while seokmin followed, pretending to turn on a siren.
the house transformed into a "fire station," and the two of them spent the next several minutes saving stuffed animals from the imaginary blaze.
seokmin: babe, we’re friends again
seokmin: we’re playing firefighters
y/n: alright, mr. firefighter, don’t make promises you won’t remember to keep
seokmin: 🫡🫡🫡
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merakiui · 1 day ago
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going back to read your contractual fwb azul cause it’s my favourite fic ever and i have to wonder; what would azul do if you never used his wishes to your own advantage? like it was always small stuff, so you ended up having to get a new job (sex is banned and let’s pretend like theres some random cafe on sage island or something like that you’re picking up shifts. just not the monstro lounge) and the hours you work there give him less time. would he beg you to use his money? to take advantage of him? it feels like the terms he picked also come from a domestic standpoint of wanting to provide for you. and your new job is really getting in the way of that. rely on him and no one else >:(
(also i’d like to imagine you falling asleep sitting in his lap in his office chair sometime before the confession so he carries you back to his room and you spend the night. the next morning you wake up to him pulling away and in your extremely sleep deprived mind you get upset that he’s leaving. cue him promising he’ll be back—maybe a quick round just so he can get you to wish it and no it’s definitely not because he wants sleepy morning sex—and eventually he comes to wake you back up with flowers, tea (you know the one), and telling you you have a day off somehow.) thank you for listening to my tiny brain rambles
hiiiiiii this is just a question i forgot to add to my last ask that i submitted like 2 seconds ago.
how does your relationship with azul go now that you’re actually in one and not just fwb? like does he still spoil you with whatever you ask for in exchange for sex or just give it to you and sex happens whenever? (more than the average couple cause, cmon) he gave you the fish shoes even though you lost so it stands that he’d spoil the hell out of you whenever he can
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Hi hiiii!! :D omg contractual fwb tako..... I miss thinking about that fic. Peak Azul is him developing a relationship with darling via contractual means and slowly but surely the feelings shift (through dubious efforts hehehe). >:D that dynamic is just so *chef's kiss*!!!!!
Oooo if reader got a job!!! If not at the lounge, which is secretly what Azul hopes, then the place better pay good wages and the hours and work better be reasonable!! >:( he won't have his angelfish struggle. Maybe he'd even visit you during your shifts on occasion and make up some excuse like "I need to know what sort of competition the lounge has" blah blah blah etc etc even though it's quite clear he's checking up on you. T_T I like to think Azul wants you to take advantage of him because it's a deal in which you're both using the other for certain things, so wouldn't that make the most sense?? That's how the logic works in his give-and-take, equivalent-exchange brain.
Azul gets really particularly when it comes to giving gifts and he always seems to want a valid reason for the exchange (like in Glomas where he buys souvenirs for his dorm so that they can remember this good deed and know that they are technically indebted to him even though to Deuce and Epel it appears as though he's just being a kind Housewarden). But also,,, he's so iffy when it comes to accepting gifts himself and always seems to think there's some underlying reason behind it. ^^;; perhaps he'd just feel more comfortable if you were openly using him and this deal to your benefit just as he's doing the same with you. It's probably why he even makes the terms so domestic because, beneath all of the pompous showmanship and businessman flair, he genuinely wants to provide for you and make your life better and be your beloved. <3 but because he's Azul he can't just tell you that. >_<
AAAAA FALLING ASLEEP IN HIS OFFICE!!!!! OTL waking up in his bed all bleary-eyed and sleepy....... grabbing at his arm and begging him to stay,,, the sleepy morning sex... maybe it's the one moment he allows just some of his defenses to fall because most of yours are nonexistent in this moment. Having sex just to have sex without any thoughts about your contract..... of course he's still going to remind you later and insist you use one of your wishes/favors since you technically indulged him with sex, but then you wanted it, too. He's so fussy!!!! Please just ask him for something—anything! He isn't going to beg, but sometimes you really do make him contemplate it when you're so determined to not make use of him and his connections.
You're one of Azul's greatest weaknesses and if you know this then you can easily exploit this because this tako adores you. He is so utterly whipped. Whatever you want, you can have it. Spoiling you is one of his many love languages. He loves giving you gifts, especially when he knows they'll make you happy. Like those silly fish slippers. They are so dumb, but they make his angelfish smile and that's enough reason to purchase them for you. I think once you're in a real relationship the fwb contract is dissolved, but a lot of what you did during those two months still occurs into your relationship. Like the smoldering tension and the chemistry. The silly banter and smart quips. The attraction. And of course lots of love (real and potion-induced mwahaha) and sex. He railed you once in mer form and you better believe he'll do it again now that he's slowly finding the confidence to do so with you.
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itstheval · 2 days ago
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Telling the Truth
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"Why would I?"
"What? We're your-"
"Friends, yes, I know, but think about it. Think, with me. First thing I could tell you is 'We're guaranteed to win'. Cool! Blinding great. Except you'd know that winning was costing me my life. Something that seems to have upset you, even AFTER the fact!"
"Well, yes, that's because it's your LIFE! We didn't…we don't want you to die for us, Siffrin!"
"Even if it meant saving all of Vaugarde?"
"…"
"We did NOT save Vaugarde without that wish. I can tell you that with a straight face. In whatever magic realm of make believe where I don't wish, we're all standing still as statues right now. I knew that as SOON as I knew that I'd made a wish. You don't need that choice in your mind. Especially not when I'm the one who's dying…If I'm the one feeling it, it should be my choice, shouldn't it?"
"Siffrin…"
"You said first thing you could tell us. Implying there were more things." Odile's voice was stern. Cold. Steel. Good, she was the one person who could understand without her heart weeping. Maybe, just maybe, she could convince the others.
"Oh, there were plenty more things to tell you! Like how the end of the King wasn't the end of the loops? How we were trapped here, by whatever this was? Would you want to know that? That every time we won, it was just washed away like a kayak too far at sea?! Or how about everything I'd failed to do, would you want the list of that?"
"Yes."
The word cut through everything else. Her stare was impassive. Almost empty. Somehow, colder than before.
"Well, I didn't want to tell you about it. It was over a dozen loops before I found that out, and can you imagine having…having THIS conversation a dozen times? Two dozen? Watching your heart break every single time? Watching Mirabelle sob, watching Isabeau practically shut down? Just so I could have a scrap of comfort?! Any Siffrin that would do that to you is a Siffrin that wouldn't have wished at all. Any person who would destroy all of you, who would break all of your hearts, just to have two days of understanding, that person's on the path to being the next King."
"Siffrin. This was…" Odile, of all people, having to choose her words carefully. She was close to understanding. She was close to breaking. It was in her pose, her words, her face. "Not a matter of emotions, beyond a certain point. While I believe you, and your kind heart does you credit…You clearly, fundamentally, could only follow one path at a time. If you had shared your knowledge, you could have been done many loops before…We could have helped you."
"No. You couldn't."
"Oh?"
"The books that told the truth? The books that explained how bad I'd blinded myself? Written in a language only I could read! And that was AFTER I killed myself trying to speak it! The wish, to make the Head Housemaiden tell us what happened? None of you could've believed hard enough! Yeah, I could've asked you about staying together…If I'd had any reason, at all, to think that's why I was looping. NOTHING said that! That wasn't the wish I made, I wished to stay with Mirabelle. I could do that even if you all split up. It would've blinding HURT, but I could have! Nothing. Nothing at all you could have done would save me. Not until the end. Not until you DID."
"You have some proof of this?"
A thud. A book, borrowed from the House…stolen, truly, but no one there could read it, and what good was a book no one could read? A book, laying on the ground between them, the sound of it having shocked the other two from their emotional stupors.
"If you can read this…If you can tell me the title of this…I'll admit I was wrong."
Odile's hands were shaking. Odile's hands never shook. Not with the tremors of age, not with exhaustion, but now…With her fingers outstretched to the book, she was trembling. Cautious. Like it would bite her. She picked it up, turned it around, and stared at it.
Her eyes widened. Then narrowed. Flicking across the title. Opening the book, and her eyes darting back and forth. Looking for something, for anything, as even the steel in her soul bent under the weight. Her back hunched, her brow furrowed, and the signs of a headache were obvious.
A flip of the page.
Another.
Then, a scream of rage, as she tossed the book into the campfire, and fell to the ground, clutching her knees. She sobbed. The Madame, the great Odile, unflappable, steel-spined and sharp-eyed, sobbed like a lost child. It felt like the most damning victory imaginable.
"That's why I didn't tell you. How you're feeling right now. I'd do that to you, every time, for NOTHING." They had to understand, by now. Looking around, at the shattered wrecks of the three, hearing sobs and seeing blank-eyed stares, they did.
Now, only now, could the healing actually start. Now that they believed. Now that they knew. Now that they understood what hat happened, and what impossible choices there were to make. Now that it wasn't 'Silly Siffrin got mixed up in emotions, isn't it cute?', now that it wasn't 'We can talk about whatever happened, Feelings Buddy!', now that it wasn't 'Oh, your fee-fees, your ling-lings'.
Loop said to tell them the truth. They knew how much it would hurt when they said it.
Well, let's see how that works.
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vaultoffandoms · 3 days ago
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For those that did ship Buck and Tommy, I get being upset and that’s total fine. I get it. It’s not the most fun time when your ship sinks. Trust me, been there done that. It’s not a good time.
But I’ve got to say…Tommy was only ever supposed to be a plot device. He’s initially brought in for Hen, Chimney, and Bobby’s begins episodes. The only purpose of including him in these specific episodes was to show how toxic the 118 was with their racism and misogyny and what specifically Hen and Chim had to deal with when first starting out.
He is only BARELY mentioned two other times from season 2 (when he’s first introduced) through season 6 (before he’s back in season 7). The first was when Chimney called him for help during one of their calls. But Tommy is not seen or heard at all. A while later, not sure how many episodes or seasons have passed, but Chimney and Hen are talking about how they weren’t close with the people that used to work at the 118 and that they don’t keep in contact. Chimney only mentions his call to Tommy.
Now season 7, he’s only brought back as a sort of catalyst for Buck’s sexuality storyline. But it also needs to be pointed it that Buck is bi whether Tommy was in this or not. I obviously have zero clue where the writers are going with the rest of season 8 (and any season the show might have after), but Tommy was strictly used as a plot device to push whatever that is along. I also have no idea why they decided to use Tommy specifically, because that could have been anyone realistically. Maybe it’ll make more sense later on depending on what’s planned for 9-1-1 plots. Idk.
Again, being upset they broke up because you liked them is FINE. Blaming Oliver somehow in all of this is not. He never gave any more than he needed to about the relationship and mostly stuck to discussing Buck outside that relationship. And y’all using that to attack Oliver is just kind out of line. Tommy’s character also did not “deserve better” or more. He is not a main character. Not even a side character. And their break up didn’t come out of left field because again, plot device for whatever the writers have planned. I’m sorry y’all don’t like that but some of the things that are being said are just weird and kinda vile.
BEING MAD AND TAKING OUT YOUR ANGER ON OLIVER AND HARASSING HIM OR ABC (this is honestly laughable btw) BECAUSE YOUR SHIP BROKE UP IS NOT OKAY!!!
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buckysgrace · 7 hours ago
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I need enemy!billy to fuck me stupid and call me a slut :(
CW: Mean!Billy, Unprotected sex, hate fucking
You didn't get along with Billy. Not at all. He was arrogant, annoying. And he was determined to make your life a living hell.
He would pull your bra straps in class, flick pencils at the back of your head and stick his foot out to trip you whenever he got the chance. If you passed him in the hall, he'd shoulder check you. He'd tease you about the length of your skirts, regardless if they were short or long.
If you wore makeup, he'd point out that you were trying too hard, if you didn't wear any he'd ask if you had given up. As if he somehow thought you were trying to impress him.
As if.
The issue was that your friend group tended to overlap, just briefly but enough that you often ran into him. It wasn't like Hawkins was very big either, you saw him more often than not. And that was irritating too. He acted like he was something special, like you should care.
"You don't play hard to get, do you?" He asked you, eyebrows cocked as he brought his beer up to his lips again. His dirty blonde hair curled against his shoulders, the wind gliding it across his forehead as you rolled your eyes.
Ignoring him was best, so that's exactly what you did. You pressed your fingers over your skirt, doing your best to prove that it was plenty long enough. It touched your knees and that was what mattered. You didn't need his opinion anyways.
"On your period?" He tried again, taking advantage of how long your friends were taking to return, "Or maybe it's the stick that's always up your ass."
"I do not have a stick up my ass," You replied quickly, insides burning as electricity strummed through your veins. You quickly stood, desperately needing to put as much distance between the two of you as possible, "And you're the one that's easy." You pointed out before you turned, stomping your way back to the house.
"They went on a run for more beer," He chuckled, lazily following behind you, "It's just you and I." He sang, sounding far too cheery.
"You can fuck off now." You told him seriously as you yanked the door open, wishing you had gone with your gut feeling and taken your own car. Now you were stuck with him.
"You don't like talking?" He questioned as he pressed his hand against the door, keeping you from slamming it in his face, "I've heard you like doing other things with your mouth."
"You're disgusting," You told him as the anger pulsed inside of you, "You're not any better." You pointed out, sure that he had already slept his way through half the school.
You gripped the railing, pulling yourself up the stairs. You needed privacy, your own room to sit and breathe in for a while so you wouldn't end up losing your control.
"Where are you going?" He asked curiously, eyes glazing with mischief as you turned back towards him. You turned into the room, trying to slam the door but to no avail. He moved quicker.
"I'm so tired of you," You spit out angrily, pressing your finger roughly against his chest, "You're an asshole." You told him seriously, letting the fire inside of you erupt.
"Oh," He grinned, looking anything but upset as his eyes flickered over your features, "What else?" He teased, cocking both of his eyebrows as he stared at you intensely. He was amused. Playing with you.
"You're not even worth it." You replied as you crossed your arms, not wanting to give him the benefit of seeing your anger.
"Huh," He continued to wear that stupid smirk, making you wish you could smack it off of him, "That's funny coming from you." He added as he rested lazily against the dressed, sticking his arms out in front of him.
"Excuse me?" You asked in surprise, jaw dropping at what he was suggesting. You were nowhere near as bad as what he was.
"You're boring," He said with a shrug of his shoulders, "A doormat. There's not one thing that's interesting about you." He spoke dryly as he watched you.
"Fuck you." You were seething now, pulse racing as a fire of fury burned deep inside of you. You were so angry that you couldn't decide if you were going to scream or cry. Both seemed like a good option, but you didn't want him to see that.
He stalked towards you, lips curled up into the softest smirk as your feet remained stuck to the ground. You weren't fearful of him, you knew that the best he could do was insult you. But you weren't going to back down, not now.
Your eyes flickered over his features, trying to ignore how pretty he looked at the moment. You hated that he was attractive and even more that he knew it. He was cocky, arrogant. It drove you crazy.
You stalled as he came to a stop in front of you, tilting his head as his eyes remained locked on yours. Your heart flipped inside of your chest, trembling as his minty breath tickled against your face.
His lips were hot against yours, intense and warm as his palms fell to the side of your face. You should push him away, shove him back harshly. But you couldn't. Not when something electric spread through your body, tickling your veins.
You felt something in your brain shift, awaking you from your haze as you bit down harshly on his bottom lip. He grunted, his tongue flicking out against your teeth in surprise as he squeezed at your face.
You let him strip you of your clothes without a fight, his hands rough against your skin as he pressed you over the side of the bed. He pushed down roughly between your shoulder blades, your face falling into the mattress and your ass in the air.
"I knew it," He paraded proudly, a smirk evident on his features as you turned to look over your shoulder, "You're no better than the rest of them. Just as eager to spread your legs."
All insults died on your tongue at the feeling of his fingers brushing through your folds, collecting your slick before you felt the head of his cock against your entrance. You gulped, fingertips falling into a fist as he bullied his thick cock inside of your soaked cunt.
You moaned, eyes fluttering shut and jaw dropping as he stretched your slick walls inch by inch. His girth was thick, thicker than you had ever had as he buried himself inside of you.
"S'nice," He teased as his palms fell across the curve of your ass, small moans leaving your lips as you adjusted around him, "So fucking tight. She's leaking for me." He teased as some of his fingers fell to your clit, rubbing your sensitive bud gently.
"God," You breathed out roughly, mind feeling hazy as your eyebrows furrowed tightly together, "Feels good." You squeaked out softly as the pleasure burned deep inside of you, twisting your insides tightly together.
He laughed from behind you, his fingers electric against your skin as he snapped his hips forward. You whimpered at the sensation, the tip of his cock pressing against your bundle of nerves. You shook, your thighs trembling from the pleasure.
He squeezed at your tits, rolling them in his callused hands before he pinched your nipples. You whimpered at the feeling, overwhelmed as he began to slide his cock in and out of your soaked cunt. Everything inside of you was burning in an intense manner before he yanked your body back towards his slick chest.
Your mind felt hazy as you began to rock your body back along the curve of his cock, savoring his thick girth and the curves that decorated his skin.
The sound of your bodies meeting was dirty, filthy as his cock pressed deep inside of you. You craved the feeling, wanted to feel more of him as you continued to grind yourself back against him.
He groaned from behind you, his breath hot against your cheek as he smacked his palm across your thigh. Your cunt ached around his girth as you rocked yourself back against him, feeling a fresh wave of desperation crippling over you.
"You're so stupid, huh?" He teased, eyes flashing with lust as he tilted your chin roughly in his direction, "Already dumb around my cock. Such a dumb little slut." He groaned as you continued to fuck yourself along his cock, whimpering as words failed to come to you.
He spoke to you in a demeaning manner, insulting you. But you didn't care. Something about it made your cunt ache, your clit throb as he dragged you up and down the length of his cock.
Cries of pleasure left your lips, drool sliding down your chin as he continued to roughly snap his hips forward. You were leaking around the girth of his cock, coating his balls in your slick as you greedily grinded yourself back against him.
The sound of your bodies meeting filled the room, spurring you on as your fingers fell into two fists. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer to him.
"See," He hummed against the side of your neck, his tongue briefly licking at your sweaty skin, "It doesn't hurt to be nice." He whispered gruffly as he kissed at your ear, then biting with enough force to make you yelp.
"I am," You spit out, struggling to breathe as the pleasure burned deep inside of you. He laughed, his sweaty chest rubbing against your back as he dipped another hand between your leg, "Fuck, fuck." You squeaked out, body spasming as he brought a thick finger against your clit.
He bit down on your skin as he continued to fuck into you from behind, his finger rubbing harshly against your swollen clit as your muscles spasmed roughly.
Everything inside of you burned, your mind going blank as the pleasure crashed over you. Your thighs snapped together as you came with a loud cry, whimpering as your cum slid down your thighs.
His groans vibrated across your skin as he continued to roughly grind his fingers against your clit. Your toes curled in awe, bliss overwhelming your cunt clamped down around his girth.
"That's a good girl," He groaned as he pulled out, letting you collapse onto the bed in a pile of good. You whimpered as you turned, watching the way he wrapped his thick fingers around his cock and roughly jerked himself off, "Such a fucking slut." He grunted, leaving no warning for you as he came harshly.
You gasped, blinking roughly as his warm spunk fell against your features. You gaped, feeling it across your cheek, lips and forehead. Some of it dripped across your eyelid, leaving you to quickly wipe it away.
"You're a dick." You hissed, in disbelief to what you had just done. You couldn't believe you had let him back in with no issue. He would think that he was right about everything. Anger boiled in your stomach again.
"And this here?" He questioned, tilting his head as his strong fingers fell against your sore cunt, "Belongs to me."
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bugswarm · 15 hours ago
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What are you talking about? I didn't need a week long break. I needed a break for a few hours, maybe a day at most. Also "What stops you from thinking this intrusive thought then going, internally, 'damn I need a break'"? Uh, I did. That's exactly what happened. Want a timeline of events?
Initial thought was "God. The people of my country are so fucked up. Maybe we all should just get nuked off the map. Yeah that inlcudes myself and everyone I know but maybe its worth it so the US can't keep fucking up the planet and causing the death of millions of innocents. Ends justifying the means of whatever" Then I started crying and went "Fuck. That's actually really fucked up. I need to step away. Ill let my followers know that they might not see me online for a bit and then close the app". Thus I made the post you are oh so upset about, closed the app, went back to doing other things, and then got 30 notifications when my email synced because I had email notifications turned on for replies to posts.
I saw what people were saying and went "oh fuck they think Im talking about palestine. I should go explain and clarify that the reason I can't logic my way out of these intrusive thoughts right now isn't because Im a psychopath and so morally corrupt as to thinking this about palestine or something. This anger is entirely directed at the people who are ultimately responsible for the death of millions including palestinians and who have proved that they don't care about that or are directly for that more than once. Also some people are taking this as me being a direct danger to myself or others so I should also clarify that Im not. That im exclusively having intrusive thoughts about how I wouldn't be that upset if a 3rd party nuked us off the map to get us to stop being a problem for the rest of the world. Not that Im gonna like, go shoot up a mall or something like some people seem to think. " and followed up with an explicit request to be left alone and a reminder that harassing me was the pro-genocidal thoughts move (since the whole point of the post was that I was upset about the thoughts, getting mad about the post means being mad that I wasn't just straight up pro-genocide. There isn't another thing to be mad about so that's the only option left).
That's also when I turned off reblogs. People kept replying though and I tried explaining more but people just kept doubling down and telling me to kill myself so I went and figured out how to turn replies off too. I made a few follow up posts to explain things better because at that point I had spent hours off of tumblr, sobbed on my friends floor and had a conversation that calmed me down and wasn't struggling with the intrusive thoughts almost at all (was more pissed off that people were harassing me for being disturbed about the thoughts than anything else, though can't say that I didn't have any more intrusive thoughts at all that night but they were easier to logic my disagreement) and figured that maybe the wording I used originally wasn't the best if so many people were still misinterpreting things but follow up posts and edits don't help if people are attacking you over a screenshot of the original post's wording and not reading the edits and other posts that explain so that didn't change anything. Tumblr was also glitching and refusing to close my ask box.
Eventually I went to bed and woke up to over a hundred messages in my ask box and some DMs. Figured out how to turn those off and that's when people started @ing me death threat posts. So I turned @ing off too.
Finally you went and found a random unrelated post of mine just so you could continue to harass me and make sure I saw it despite me very obviously trying to cut off every possible communication method for a reason. I haven't had any issue with intrusive thoughts since about 8-10 hours after the initial post was made and yet you keep claiming Im somehow doubling down on shit when all Im doing is telling you to go the fuck away and leave me alone and to stop harassing me over a post about how disturbing thoughts were why I was going to be offline for a little bit.
How are you not getting this? Youre the problem here. You're mad at me for communicating that I needed a break due to disturbing thoughts. You're saying that Im "playing the victim" when all I did was have some intrusive thoughts, explained that was why I needed time away, and then got mercilessly harassed for days. I didn't victimize anyone else and was the only person who got hurt here. Was I maybe not the most articulate mid-mental breakdown? Sure, that's kinda par for the course with how a mental breakdown works. That doesn't mean you should harass me for days, and ignore the fact that despite my explanations, you still are misunderstanding what that post says.
I couldn't even escape from this and fully take that break I was asking for because I couldn't turn my phone off due to most of this happening while I was at work and my phone is something I use for my job at times. Deleting the app wouldn't help because of email notifications. And turning off notifications also wouldn't help because then I would just have to come back to hundreds of people sending me suicide bait and death threats and harassment. I wanted to get people to stop harassing me and when begging people to leave me alone didn't work, i cut off the avenues to contact me. But people just keep finding new ways to do that. And you finally found the one avenue that can't be turned off. Sure I can block you and maybe thatll stop this but if you figured it out, others can too. So forgive me if Im fucking pissed off at you especially when you are saying I will never hear the end of this. Ive done everything I can to make people stop trying to make me actually pro-genocide but yall won't fucking stop trying. Go the fuck away you genocidal freak
Something thing to think about, the most secure platform for conversations is Signal.
Signal Protocol-based platforms like Whatsapp, Facebook Messenger's secret conversations, or Skype's Private Conversations are a second best option for making sure no one can find out what you are talking about. These may be a good option for people who need a better UX than Signal itself can offer (Signal is very basic and there is no ability to back up your messages or transfer them to another device, whereas something like whatsapp can do some of those things with minimal security risk for most people).
Telegram is the most well known platform for secure messages. It's... not secure. At all. It has a lot of known security flaws. It's just well known because it has good UX and people don't often think to differentiate between "secure against hackers and malicious actors" and "secure against governments". Telegram is only secure against hackers, not governments. Do not use it for anything illegal nor anything you don't want your government to be able to find out.
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swordbreakerz · 2 months ago
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I get rly jealous of painters (digital and otherwise but mostly digital) sometimes bc they have the skill and knowledge to be able to do style studies of famous painters, and I frequently have the urge to do some kind of leyendecker study but I patently CANNOT paint, at all, I don't even rly render I am a flat colors and cel shading kind of artist so it would just be kind of useless to attempt bc the style I make art in just isn't the kind that I can do those kinds of experiments in and it feels Bad
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overtake · 4 months ago
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some of you are in a monogamous relationship with eternal misery. the way you manage to find negativity in everything is exhausting. you are not being a realist. you are just going out of your way to find the bad where it does not exist.
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lilowoof · 2 months ago
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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doushiteworld · 1 year ago
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Proseka friend told me that both God-Ish and All I Need Are Things I Like are being added to the game on JP covered by Nightcord (God-Ish) and Wonderlands x Showtime (All I Need Are Things I Like) and oh boy am I scared. They're also adding (Not) a Devil but it's not covered so I'm not worried about that
#look. I didn't like the nightcord non-breath oblige cover. I don't think I ever went into detail as to why but I really don't like it#I think. Non-Breath was a bad choice for them to cover music wise. I think God-Ish is better. because it's not as energetic#not a bad thing!! God-ish feels whispery which is so Nightcord's thing. Non-Breath was too high energy for them to pull off good#...so I'm gonna be double upset if they fuck up God-ish actually. I don't even care for God-Ish that much#Like I cared for Non-Breath so much. so it stung when they kinda missed the mark with it ^^:#I'm like. a little less worried about about WxS. Because they made like. The one Pino cover In the game I actually like#Ignoring the Saki and Tsukasa Cosmospice cover. I hate that cover so much sorry#But also like. All I Need Are Things I Like is one of THE PinocchioP songs of all time. to me. so like#I hold the same sort of attachments towards it as I do to Non-Breath. So if they do fumble the net with it I'm gonna cry#Also. I know. there's a possibility that TikTok. Will pick up on it#And I don't think I'm gonna mind too much. If they run with God-Ish more. because I think it's kinda hard to miss the thing with God-Ish#But if they make some fucking trend audio with All I Need Are Things I Like that completely misses the point of the song somehow.#I'm going to riot. I never got TikTok 'ruining songs'. Until both Non-Breath and Anonymous M became like. funny trend audios.#I made a better post on my main blog about this I'll reblog it here maybe#Guys I promise I like Proseka It's just my liking of PinocchioP comes before that#I like being a little hater also tho#pinocchio p#pinocchiop#vocaloid#pinocchio-p#project sekai#proseka#doushiteworld.txt
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alchemiclee · 1 year ago
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been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)
#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now#that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end#ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes#youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused#more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!!#the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that#aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅#cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better#please someone do this 😭#lee text#hsr#i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end#my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder#but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him#instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now#they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot#so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it#maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because#they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing#we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end#or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e#i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid#is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!!#id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead#OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation#and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying#his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed#these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did!#these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better#lee rambles
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smol-tired-binch-blog · 1 year ago
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Opals and Moonstones
AKA Smol Once Again Uses Birthstones And Birth Flowers To Do Character Analysis. This time we have a twofer, as we'll be looking at Nishiki AND Kiryu! (with a bonus Yumi!) (this is gonna be another long one so please do check out under the cut)
Let's start with Nishikiyama.
His birth date is October 8th, 1968, leaving him with the birthstones opal and tourmaline (originally specifically pink tourmaline but now includes all types).
Now, apparently, tourmaline is the modern birthstone for October, and was made so in 1952 with the approval of the American Gem Society and the National Retail Jewellers Council. I will expand on this stone in another post, because it's the opals I really want to focus on (although it's worth noting that both stones are apparently good for emotional stabilisation, grounding, and healing. :) )
You see, the reason they threw in pink tourmaline as new birthstone is apparently because "In October’s case, the opal was seen by many to be too feminine in appearance and there were questions about its durability". Opals are a very delicate stone, with a water content of 5-10%, which leaves them very vulnerable to cracking under very dry conditions or sudden changes in temperatures. It can even cause them to shrink or expand, so they need a bit more care and maintenance (although you can apparently improve them by wetting them with a lil bit of water, which, idk, I find that fun because fish live in water, 'nishiki' is a koi, you get me?)
We all saw how Nishiki handled suddenly having most of his family and support network ripped from him plus the added pressure of running a new family full of people who very openly disrespect him and see him as some useless weakling they're all obligated to deal with. I'm not the only one who sees the opal parallels, right?
So, opals are a soft, feminine, easily damaged stone, but they also represent love, passion, luck, and healing, and associated with channelling strong emotions. In Roman times it was called the Cupid Stone, and was well-sought after, so overall has a lot of positive meanings and connotations...until a random-ass novel accidentally lead to them being considered bad luck. How dandy.
Now, Kiryu. And by extension, Yumi.
Kiryu's birth date is June 17th, 1968, and Yumi's is June 30th, 1971. (I find it very amusing that Kiryu forgot about Yumi's birthday when it's only a couple of weeks after his lmao)
This means that these lucky ducks actually get three birthstones: alexandrite, pearl, and moonstone.
Alexandrite apparently brings luck, intellect, and prosperity, somewhat similar to tourmaline (it can even be a similar colour to it). Pearls on the other hand symbolise wisdom, especially wisdom gained through experience, as well as calmness, integrity, and loyalty.
I think this is very fitting for our favourite dragon, isn't it? A man whose experiences help him grow from a naive kid into a man who stands by his principles and does whatever he can to help and protect his loved ones althoughitcanbearguedhowmuchhelearnsbutthatsapostforanotherday
But again, there's a particular stone I want to look at, which is of course the moonstone.
It's another stone associated with good luck and fortune, apparently considered sacred in India. It's also a stone of new beginnings and inner growth and strength. Again, fitting for Kiryu's return to Kamurocho after 10 years in the joi- behind bars. However, the reason it interests me is its connections and similarities with opals.
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See, at first thought/glance, the two stones are very similar. They're (usually) a white colour but reflect an entire rainbow. And yet, they do so differently; moonstones has what's called 'adularescence', a faint glow akin to the moon shining on the ocean's surface, whereas opals are, naturally, 'opalescent', which is more glittering specks of colour.
Both stones are associated, of course, with the moon and the ocean (as are pearls). Both are considered good-luck charms, are meant to ground emotions, and are associated with femininity. Like, look at this:
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Doesn't this sum them up? They're similar but different; Kiryu's calmer, grounding presence combined with Nishiki's more emotional, passionate nature. No wonder the two of them make such a great team!!!
And then I saw this:
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:)))))))
It's just....if we keep up with the birthstone imagery/parallels, this means that the two people Nishiki loves the most are 'spiritually' incompatible. That, and the fact that opals are "softer and more easily damaged compared to moonstone" (see how Kiryu handles adversity vs Nishiki handling his struggles). Yknow despite this long-ass post I really don't know quite how to articulate what I'm trying to say, but I'm hoping you see what I mean?
The two men need each other and are stronger together however this strength is so amplified that when the two are separated Nishiki looks so much weaker in comparison, at least in others eyes. He cries, he gets overwhelmed, he lashes out and yells when he's angry, he makes his emotions known. He cares so much about image and how he presents himself to the world, but he has the bad luck of being next to a man with freakish levels of raw brute strength and a naturally stoic outward appearance that he just isn't as impressive in comparison, even though he's NOT unimpressive or incapable! I'm pretty sure that of the two, Nishiki actually knows what the fuck he's doing!
And that's the thing, people think Nishiki is nothing without Kiryu, himself included, but what is Kiryu without Nishiki? The man loves his brother, and I think he's the only one who seems to have an inkling of Nishiki's worth. The two banter and he's like "oh, like you know so much" about being a yakuza and how one should act, but I do think Kiryu trust Nishiki. He goes along with what he says for the most part because he 'knows' that Nishiki knows what he's talking about. He looks up to Nishiki. He sacrificed his freedom to protect him. After those 10 years he wanted to see his brother again.
Unfortunately, a lot changed in those 10 years. The opal cracked under the pressure. Its power and influence grew but its sense of self and stability shrank, leaving it both far too big and far, far too small for its setting. All it needed was a bit maintenance, a bit of care. But it didn't receive that. And instead, the moonstone ended up alone.
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johndonneswife · 7 months ago
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not a sad ‘woe is me’ post so don’t send me weird messages but: the thing abt cycling through every ED possible and being bulimic for like 10 yrs & making yourself vomit up to 10x times per day on ur worst days is that your teeth and gums will eventually give out on you (bc it doesn’t make a difference if you’ve been good & it doesn’t matter how well you’ve taken care of your teeth for the last x years) and u will be 30 years old crying to your very sweet and kind dentist when she tells you about the 1 million things that are wrong with ur teeth
#anyway i feel strongly compelled to quit my job and dedicate my entire life to speaking out abt eating disorders#& doing research & writing & advocating for people who are suffering#women who are suffering#i think this is honestly my life’s calling!!!! i just don’t know where to start#you know movies glamorize having anorexia & it’s always like: she is the most beautiful girl in the world…but so sad…she doesn’t eat :(#i need to make movies that have scenes like that one chapter of i’m glad my mom died:#where jennette has been throwing up like 15 times a day and her tooth falls out#and she’s literally just like: yeah i’ll deal with that later#& instead of writing about a beautiful skinny white girl who is upset about eating carrots at inpatient#i would just force people to read/watch the things in this thread:#https://www.reddit.com/r/EDAnonymous/s/H1C3JZyvFK#because that’s the reality#the one comment in that thread ‘i ate something poisonous because i hoped it would make me puke’#like yeah same. LOL. & i always thought i was the only one so fucked in the head#anyway society is very cruel to women and i need to do something about it. genuinely whereeee do i even begin#i guess i have been writing a lot abt my personal experience and all the disgusting things ppl like to avoid talking abt#and how my mother made me this way etc#i could def make a memoir out of it. maybe i’ll do that.#i would love to have more options than just. trauma porn.#ah anyway maybe i’ll open a nonprofit. IDK. i just need to make a lot of noise somehow
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deerest-me · 5 months ago
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really,
truly,
deeply,
wish i was not like this
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noxiatoxia · 2 years ago
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idc if this is controversial but if you say you genuinely want all people of a certain, uncontrollable category (sexuality, race, gender) dead or you hate them, that's just gross. yes this includes straight people cis people white people men. just because it isn't homophobic or systemically racist doesnt give you a free pass to be an asshole.
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hellfireeddiemunson · 2 years ago
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sick of making plans with a specific friend only for her to not reach out abt actually hanging out until the afternoon after i’ve waited all day to hear back from her or for her to just cancel last minute entirely after i’ve again waited all day to hear back from her
#like i genuinely fucking get that sometimes life is exhausting and you’re tired and sometimes you need to take care of urself before hanging#out with people but for it to be so fucking consistent is exhausting for ME#we don’t even fucking make plans that often it’s literally maybe once a fucking month if that#like you’re telling me somehow whenever we have plans that’s when you’re SOOOOOO exhausted ?????? but you left the house 39203 other times#to do shit that takes up way more mental capacity than sitting bat your house smoking weed for a while and catching up?????#i just don’t fucking get it dude i really don’t#if i make plans with someone and the day of i don’t want to anymore i always tell them right fucking away so they don’t spend all day waitin#around and planning their entire day around it just to get fucked over#idk i’m just frustrated and probably need to eat something and i’ll be less angry#i’m just like. upset bc i don’t understand why she only ever seems to cancel on me or only seems to be soooooo exhausted when it’s the day#we planned to hang out like i just think it’s unfair to me and i Have expressed this in general before so it’s like ok cool#thanks for taking my own feelings and time into consideration 🙄🙄😐#like i literally love and adore my friends more than life itself and it just hurts and is shitty when someone doesn’t act the same even tho#they’ve said the opposite idk#i genuinely hope i don’t sound like a dick right now bc i truly really understand when ppl are mentally exhausted or deal with chronic issue#issues* bc fucking SAME HERE I ALSO DEAL WITH ALL RHAT so it’s like idk i just don’t wanna sound like a dick i am just upset i’m not feeling#like i’m loved the same as i love people idk this always happens to me i feel like i just love too much and i over project and then when i#don’t get the same things in return i feel like people actually don’t like me or secretly are tryin to separate from me idk it’s shitty i#hate it so bad i want a normal brain this shitnfucking sucks#my brain is going too hard now tho i need to stop before i spiral for real right here right now on tumblr dot com
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