#and where you want to take a stand
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I often get tired of the "___ would NEVER" discourse because I think the more interesting question is what would happen to change that. Like, obviously Ezra in this example would never work with Thrawn as seen in the finale of Rebels, but what might happen afterwards that would change his mind? What would have to be offered, or threatened, to make him feel that he could/should/must work with the man who was once his most hated enemy? Does he just need to ~understand~ Thrawn? Does Thrawn need to threaten something he cares about (which did get him to cooperate with Thrawn in the Rebels finale; got him to surrender and be brought up to the ship, at least, which is a type of cooperation)? Does he need to be offered something that would make it worth it - the chance to save people, the chance to reform Thrawn, the chance to help someone he cares about?
"___ would NEVER" is a conversation killer. There's nowhere to go from there, nothing to talk about. "What if-" "___ WOULDN'T!" "Okay, but-" "___WOULDN'T!" "But if x happened-" "___ WOULDN'T!" is as far as you can get, and that's exhausting. "But how COULD it happen" is so much more fun to talk about.
Looking at Thrawn and Ezra, there are similarities that could help it happen - both are dedicated to doing the "right" thing, regardless of their personal feelings. Ezra went from a street kid to a Jedi who would lay down his life for a stranger because it's the right thing to do, and Thrawn had routinely bombed his career and every bridge he has for what he believes to be the "greater good". So yes, there is a framework for them to work together - Ezra's "right thing" just needs to line up with Thrawn's "greater good", however that might happen. And isn't that little "how" fun to consider?
always funny when people on here have the "ezra would NEVER cooperate with thrawn!!!" discourse because every - and i mean every - argument misses the point that one of the most common narrative tropes in star wars stories is "unlikely allies". a lot of the ~meat~ of star wars is people from opposing sides finding ways to recruit each other for their respective causes. saying that it "wouldn't make sense" is ignoring like, a good chunk of the most interesting and intriguing stories told in this franchise.
#i do so love a grey morality#and the hard questions#where no one is truly evil#and no one is 100% good#what is good?#what is evil?#personally i think people should ask themselves this more often#because it really helps define#how you view the world#and where you want to take a stand#anyway#i see this a lot in the thrawn fandom#most frustratingly when it's like#“but MY thrawn wouldn't do x!!”#<x is a canon event>#“writer a just doesn't ~understand~ him!”#and it's like okay mr. doylist#what's the watsonian explanation here#“well he WOULDN'T”#is not a valid answer#let's all USE our IMAGINATIONS!!#eh well#bit of a fandom wank i guess#i still love it here :)#star wars#thrawn fandom#thrawn crit#fandom crit
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real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)
im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in
#yes the 🍑🍑🍑was just an excuse to shove ass emojis in your face i'm only (occasionally. allegedly) human#now ask me about my FIRST worst new year eve. it involves wizards and portals and elaborate lies i make up on the spot#SAD REAL TALK <STARTS>:#also made the mistake of reaching out to my mom post-xmas#like what kind of c-ptsd NOOB does that. what kinda chronic holiday trauma survivor NOVICE??? embarrassing#THE SEDUCTIVE FALSE HOPE OF NOSTALGIA WILL LURE YOU IN EVERY TIME#'oh but maybe they won't disappoint me. but maybe they won't rip my heart out this time'#sweetheart that's your dear sweet inner child's yearning for what never was or will be. BEAT IT BACK WITH A STICK!#SAD REAL TALK <ENDS>#....back to that part where i talked about being bent out of shape#if anyone w/ metalwork skills wants ta take a blowtorch & hammer & tongs & have at... I'm open to experimentation is all im sayin#in lieu of that i would also welcome someone buying me a sandwich. i am. so sore.#(metaphysically sore but also the other more urgent im-at-my-daily-NSAIDs-limit kinda sore)#(hence: sanwimch)#...i got so sleepy writing this i started imagining the astonishing hedonism#of stroking a freshly grilled cheese-dripping sandwhich across my body like a loofah#the soothingness of the gooey warm near liquid cheese. the vaguely spongelike quality of toasted sourdough slice.#look i didn't imagine it on PURPOSE it just came to me like a vision like a threat#like one of those weird mens locker room ads where the sportsball is watermelon??? u know the one#where there's nudity & food & homoerotica & hot steaming showers in the background and STILL the overall effect is more offputting than sex#look i have a throat infection. i can barely swallow. i'm sipping chocolate milk to survive and i'm NOT EVEN ENJOYING IT. each drop is agon#(opposite side of the Tantalus spectrum but i'm suffering more than he has in 3.5 thousand years)#i'm dehydrated. barely conscious. electrolytes are circling down the drain. doctors should be incubating me w/ capri sun straws right now.#I GET A PASS ON THESE TAGS#i don't know what i wrote! and i don't stand by it! and you can't make me read em!!!
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When in doubt, Soup it out.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan.#wei wuxian#Yes I am skipping over LWJ's panic at WWX joking about giving birth to A-Yuan. It's funny bit but there are many more to come!#The last time these two sat down together the tensions were so high. The peace is nothing more than a layer of cold fat on the surface.#It's not 'really' them coming to see eye to eye. It's them not having the energy to say what they really want anymore.#LWJ is very defined by his jealousy and the conflict it creates with his need to put his feelings aside for the perceived greater good.#To live a life where you are always second and never ever allowing yourself to be first...#If other people can be at peace and happy - it has to be worth it right?#If he orders a plate of food that he will struggle to eat but is the favourite thing of the person sitting across from him#Is it not worth the sacrifice?#But remember! You can't take anything for yourself ever. No matter how much you want it.#He did it once before and he regrets it so much. So all he can do is accommodate.#And WWX? Well. You can't let anyone in if there isn't enough water to splash around in.#Keep things shallow and they just move on. Even if you'll miss them when they go - this is just how things are now.#No more teasing and trying to pull a reaction from LWJ anymore. You'll never be more than someone he can't stand so what's the point.
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ok so as someone still relatively new to TWST (and someone just taking the events as they come to EN instead of keeping up with the JP side) and as a Jack Howl simp
I am of the (CORRECT) opinion that he should absolutely get an Applepom look because... fwuffy. and hat with ear holes. and he'd be SO insistent that he's used to the cold and doesn't need it but he will take it once it's insisted on because he's polite and won't refuse Gramma Felmier
Also I think a fun twist on the "someone's sled breaks and their plushie tears so they have to come up with another idea" bit from the other event is that Jack goes wolf mode to pull the sled (because as said in his starsending wish he pulls sleds back at home on breaks to try and get faster as a wolf!)
I'm biased though because I need more Jacc in my life
Thoughts?
thank you anon for bringing the mental image of harveston Jack into my life. he would be SO fluffy...so warm...he would haul so many apples...
also while I love the imagery of him pulling the sled, I feel like that would probably get them insta-disqualified. :( unless they can somehow 1) convince the judges that this enormous talking wolf is actually a very well-made plush, and 2) get Jack to go along with it (I do think Jack would instantly respect Marja as being more alpha or whatever and would have to, like, choose between his sense of JUSTICE, or going along with cheating at this sporting event so an authority figure doesn't get mad at him) (...wait this is just the plot of episode 2 again) (DANGIT)
#art#twisted wonderland#marja would never stand for cheating though. this is NOT how she became idia's sports anime waifu.#that said we deserve a jack in cuddly winter knits#maybe next winter-themed event...#if i remember right he also canonically snowboards and now i suddenly want a card of that#i want to see whatever weird fantasy twist on snowboarding they would do for an event#jack: for contrived reasons i need 3-5 peers to join my traditional hometown competition where the boards are made of candy or whatever#no you don't understand it would be like...peppermint-themed and extremely cute. i actually do very much want this now.#(sorry to keep doing the marker-style stuff i'm just having fun with ~brushes~)#(also sorry for taking forever with this) (stuff is busy right now!)#(eyes slide away from inbox timestamps...)
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iceman + his concern for maverick post-hop 31
#icemav#top gun edit#ice is a FASCINATING one to watch post-hop 31 imo because while yes‚ obviously‚ the focus is on maverick and his grief and devastation#ice is there the whole time in the background‚ watching. and he's visibly disturbed by what he's seeing. because yeah -#he and mav had a rivalry going and yeah he called maverick dangerous and reckless to his face and he stands by that - he does.#but the problem is that this time - this one fluke freak accident of a time - it wasn't maverick's fault at all.#an unrecoverable flat spin brought on by a compressor stall from ice's jetwash isn't something that maverick could've outflown#by sticking to textbook maneuvers. it was just shit luck and shitty circumstances aligning to create a tragic mishap.#but now - now ice can see the way maverick is unraveling in the aftermath#and i'd bet that on some level it terrifies him to see that.#he's used to seeing maverick with all that brash cocky confidence with the moves to back it up.#he's maybe even had a bit of fun jockeying against that. not that he'd admit that out loud. (yet)#but maverick's spiraling now - a hollowed out shell of his former self - leaking grief and self-doubt and despair everywhere he goes#and it actually hurts to look at for ice‚ seeing maverick like this. seeing how much maverick really REALLY fucking cared under that facade#and wondering if maverick is finally taking the stuff ice said to him to heart‚ but applying it all wrong.#so he watches maverick and eventually that concern builds to a point where he tries to offer an olive branch in the locker room#you can SEE how carefully he gathers himself - how much he's holding back - he doesn't want to say the wrong thing to maverick NOW#he doesn't want to make this worse than it already is. so it comes out stilted. it's earnest - but restrained. he can't find his footing.#he doesn't know where he and maverick stand now but he's sorry - that goose is gone‚ that maverick's going through this‚#that he doesn't know how to help or what to say‚ and - crucially - for his own part in this.#but he wants mav to stick around and push through this. even though he's dangerous. even though he's reckless. ice wants him to beat this.#so when maverick shows up to graduation‚ ice is encouraged. and he's a little warmer. maverick really might pull through.#but then‚ all too soon‚ it's ice's life on the line in maverick's hands. and it scares the shit out of him because maverick's not ready#and now ice - and slider - are going to have to pay the price for that.#and then‚ against all odds‚ maverick pushes through. he comes back for them. he comes back for ice.#and after that...well.#after that‚ ice does know what to say: a vow.#my amvs#linds original
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ovulation being a hell of a drug that ends up getting steddie together like
eddie and queen bee stevie harrington who have a weird kind of friendship where they share like. Everything. not a single secret between them. like eddie's got stevie's cycle pretty much memorised and she knows about every inappropriately timed boner he's ever had. and they're talking one day, smoking, shooting the shit, and there's a second of silence before stevie's like. oh my god. im so horny im gonna die. and eddie's like huh what. and stevie goes like there's a stain on your wall that's kind of shaped like a sperm and that made me think about cum and now im all bricked up. my vaginas haunted. fucking sperm shaped stain.
and eddie's like. wait girls- ok you know what im saying this in my head and im realising this sounds dumb but like. i thought girls didn't like. Get Like That. like i thought random horniness at a stiff breeze was a guy thing
and stevie snorts like nope girls get it too we just get to hide it bc we don't get boners. swear to god there's like a week of every month where i get fucking possessed or some shit. robin says it's like a period thing
but you're not on your period?
and stevie's like no it's like. the opposite of a period. like your period is your uterus being like hey you fucked up you're not pregnant but Horny Week is your uterus being like okay im ready let's get a baby in there time to get pregnant you know what to do. it's called like. oval. something. oval something. im all fertile and my body's trying to trick me, the fuckn prick.
and eddie just kinda goes huh and then there's another second of silence where he tries very hard not to think about stevie being pregnant. and then stevie throws her arms up with a frustrated sigh like god DAMN it now im thinking about being pregnant and eddie's internally like well at least it's not just me
and anyway another joint later this obviously devolves into stevie shoving eddie's hand down her pants and telling him please it'll be so quick he doesn't even have to do anything and she just ruts against his hand while he stares at her bc he's so high and the girl he's basically in love with just told him how fertile she was and then started rubbing her incredibly wet pussy against his hand and he feels like he might pass out
they do this and more about once a month for like a year until stevie does actually get pregnant. her stupid uterus successfully tricked her 😔✊
#steddie#female steve harrington#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#stevie harrington#inspired by the hell ovulation wreaks on my critical thinking skills once a month#omegaverse may not be real to YOU GUYS but i DO go into heat semi regularly#except i don't get to take off work or anything i just have to stand behind the counter of a mcdonald's like I Am Okay I Am Normal#once when i was ovulating i was watching a documentary on cloning and it showed a lil animation of a sperm fertilising an egg and i was like#WHOAH. WHOAH NOW. THIS IS DOING MORE FOR ME THAN PORNOGRAPHY#unserious fucking biology fucking possessed#anyway i want more trailer trash eddie munson knocking up the queen bee#let 👏 stevie 👏 come 👏 to 👏 prom 👏 pregnant#like oh no she's throwing her life away with this teen pregnancy#no she's not >:) she's exactly where she wants to be >:) eddie the freak munson is waiting on her hand&foot and he makes beautiful babies#all according to keikaku
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Your Eridan designs makes me want to give him a jar of cookies and put a movie on for him
Sollux gets maybe one cookie
(I am totallyyyy not bias)
you do realize eridan's going to share more cookies when you aren't looking anon; look at him, he's already put them in a bowl, that's prime setup for sharing right there
#tmos opens mail#Anonymous#tmos has art#eridan ampora#sollux captor#erisol#solluxs shirt is based on my really worn 'sorry im late i didnt want to come' shirt ive had for so many years lmao#they're in what they deem as comfortable clothes. sollux is simply a jeans tolerating weirdo <3#anyways. have not seen the boy and the heron yet but i have seen stand by me. god eridan would not take the ending well LOL#and sollux is probably just going to be like. lets watch something entirely to make fun of it. wheres the emoji movie#where are the live action garfield movies. where is the newest movie with the minions#anyways thank you anon for this beautiful chance to draw them cuddled up together <3 now i have to do chores before bed lmao
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Ming + being proactive in getting to know Joe and his works
MY STAND-IN (2024) | 1.03
#poom phuripan#up poompat#my stand in#my stand in the series#userbunn#userrain#usersasa#userjamiec#tobelle#msiep3#usertoptaps#tuseralexa#userrlana#userjap#rinblr#my stand-in#clairedgifs#msiedit#thaidrama#justice for my misunderstood meow meow ming#this gifset is dedicated to sasa bc i actually came up w this while venting with her in the dms abt how viewers are mostly misreading ming#ming actually cares you know#like no matter how small joe feels whenever he's with ming... like ming does care#ming doesn't even want the new nice fancy things... he's okay living in joe's humble abode and using old things#ming stops being picky with his food and attempts to cook for joe#this was a bit more detailed in the novel since we had more time#i love the parts in the novel where joe 1.0 would come home very tired from work and ming's passing thoughts are like why dont u just quit#and i'll take care of you for the rest of your life and you dont even have to work so hard for so little wage
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yan wushi's betrayal is necessary, his cruelty is the point!!! much like the audience, shen qiao believes that there's kindness in yan wushi, and with time spent together, it will eventually show, no matter how small. that although they walk different paths, shen qiao's is the ultimate truth.
shen qiao's character flaw is not his kindness. it's his ignorance. and he doesn't truly accept (we, the audience, don't truly understand) this until yan wushi betrays him.
#the amount of times i've seen sentiments like 'i love how yws is less evil in the donghua' or people hoping that he's a softie inside#wanting to take away a crutial part of his character because it makes you uncomfortable is strange#because if you were to do that would you be talking about yan wushi? it's good if he makes you uncomfortable#it's good if liking him makes you uncomfortable. that's the whole point!#qian qiu is not this epic love story where good and evil fall in love. it's about ideals it's about power#it's about how you can be held back in life by yourself. it's about morality community hope. love just so happens to also be discussed#and yes. both shen qiao and yan wushi are more than their respective philosophies. but those are the fundaments their character stands on#thousand autumns#qian qiu#yan wushi#shen qiao#yanshen
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Bethesda needs to bring back elder scrolls games taking place over multiple years. I'm sorry, but I genuinely don't think that the Oblivion Crisis and all the Oblivion DLCs happened in 4 months.
And don't get me started on the fact that every event in ESO happens in the same year.
#like I'm sorry but do you know how much shit happens in ESO?#you're telling me that all that happens in the span of one year???#like. dude.#it's literally impossible#bring back arena and daggerfall timelines#arena was a relatively simple game with few side quests and it still takes ten years#idr how long daggerfall takes but I feel like it had a similar timeline where it takes multiple years#and then after that they were like 'oh yeah all the games are going to take less than a year now'#like dude your games are a lot more complex now and have a lot more shit happen. why is it less than a year#anyway uhhh that's what I want for elder scrolls vi. a believable timeline#tesblr#tes#the elder scrolls#elder scrolls#oblivion#elder scrolls online#my other wish for elder scrolls vi is for hilarious npc interactions like Oblivion#give me more npcs talking about random rumors while standing in lava#that shit was hilarious
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lose my mind every time the doctor takes rose's last name in fics. brilliant, amazing, splendid, absolutely perfect.
like, what do you MEAN she'd be the one to change her last name? he doesn't even HAVE a bloody name like us! plus, she's rose tyler. you think he's going to want that to be different? it's the doctor and rose tyler in the tardis (or I suppose whatever they do in pete's world, but that's still the doctor and rose tyler having their new adventure)!!
she's rose tyler and he is whatever-he-wants tyler. end of discussion. the whole pond diabolical should've been clue enough imo
#sorry but I cannot stand it#and I keep being forced to anyways#she is ROSE TYLER#like how amy is amy pond. and not amy williams. because she's amy pond.#well rose is rose is rose and I HATE rose smith/noble sorry I've said my truth#like... rose SMITH? what? that doesn't. that's not. no. that doesn't sound right. that doesn't... fit.#I just cannot imagine in any universe or au where the doctor would want her to change her name. I literally cannot.#he wouldn't want to change a damn thing about her and her name is just so. it's her. it's beautiful. I've ran out of good words. fantastic!#he should take her last name just sayin#very passionately saying ahahahaha#this feels aggressive and like I'm getting onto people for writing these. I'm not. I just also have a very strong opinion about this lol#I just don't think you understand what it does to me when I see the doctor take her last name. I simply don't think you do#john tyler. james tyler. whatever tyler. hngk#timepetals#tenrose#tentoorose#tenth doctor#tentoo#rose tyler#doctor who
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If Dream was given the BIGGEST. LARGEST. benefit of a doubt of all time, then the truth is:
He isn’t careful with his words or actions.
He CANNOT fathom the consequences of his carelessness.
He can’t be bothered to consider the responsibility of his position before making decisions that inadvertently hurt other people because his fanbase is large, has negative actors, and speak on his behalf. DESPITE whatever he actually intended.
This leads to speculation from those outside of his fan base on his intention, insight to his unconscious motives and exposes his ignorance.
He is impulsive (in his words), prideful, and entitled. It prevents him from understanding the above points.
He is somewhat narrowminded and shortsighted when having to deal with said consequences.
It alludes him why certain topics need to be treated with the seriousness and severity it deserves.
It immensely upsets him that he cannot control his image to the wider public.
For some reason he cannot see that context doesn’t matter as much as the impact does. He focuses SO MUCH on explaining WHY something happened instead of acknowledging YES, it happened. He downplays those consequences in order to emphasize his “rationality”.
Perhaps creators should be taught how to handle an audience before being thrusted into having a sphere of influence.
As Tubbo said, being sexist/racist/etc is technically subjective. I do believe Dream isn’t purposefully racist, sexist, homophobic etc. That is my BOD for him. That’s what he believes for himself also. This is NOT, HOWEVER, how his words and actions come off. It can be interpreted as sexist, racist, transphobic, sinophobic etc to the wider audience. Not to mention the manipulative tactics and weaponized incompetence. He doesn’t realize this, which is why he’s so confused and trying so hard to control the perception of himself.
#it’s a pitiful man’s attempt#it’s kind of sad#but when everything crashes and burns maybe he will finally look at himself to see where it went wrong#one can only hope#ugh I’m really impressed with tubbo man#I would’ve started standing on my chair#i would have made implications of him having a thick skull#last thing: if THIS IS HOW TALKS WITH HIM NORMALLY GO IN PRIVATE#then OF COURSE no one is going to WANT to talk#and if they did#they’re going to either give up trying to reason with him (which he’ll take as a win)#or see no reason to put effort into arguing with him (which he’ll take as a weak argument)#not to mention the risk of it ever going public one day with his massive audience#sigh#sighhh#I cannot believe it’s all unintentional tbh#he cannot be like this fr like. you can’t be this out of touch man#dream situation
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I am once again thinking about the reluctant ruler whose arc justly and correctly includes assuming the throne and taking responsibility for the people set before them
#it's about simba coming back to pride rock it's about aragorn using andúril to fight for middle earth and assuming the throne it's about#hiccup marrying astrid and assuming his role as chief and moses returning to egypt#and it's about irina loving her people so fully that when she claims all of her subjects as hers that chernobog must release them to her!!!#and it's about miryem choosing to stay with the staryk and repair the damage and assume responsibility for the land and people!!!!!#and! it's! about! gen!!!!#it's ALWAYS about gen!!!!#gen who didn't want to be king. who hated being king and only wanted to marry a queen but who obeyed his gods and became a king over kings#who lost his home and half his family and his HAND but who ushered in a new golden age.#and it's about sophos who ran away but who shot the ambassador and took back his kingdom#it's about duty and it's about sacrifice and it's always ALWAYS about doing the right thing even at great personal cost because it's about#submitting to a power higher than your own. of recognizing that the calling on life is one for serving others and having so much more to#answer for than just yourself. it's knowing duty is love is duty#i cant stand stories where the answer is 'give up the throne and reject your duty' because no!!! you dont get it!!!#thats how you get the monsters!!! thats how you get the prince turned into a beast and thats how you get every terrible weak king that#aragorn feared becoming#to accept your throne is to die to self!!! you are no longer you but 'king' or 'queen'#it's like queen mary says to qeii in the crown 'elizabeth mountbatten must die#elizabeth regina must take her place.'#that's terrifying! but it's also everything!!!!#die! to! self! die! to! self!!!!!!#lilac rambles#lilac goes to the movies#lion king#prince of egypt#lotr#spinning silver#the crown#tqt#the queen's thief#httyd
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Steve Rogers & Tony Stark in Avengers Assemble 1.25 "The Final Showdown"
#marveledit#steverogersedit#captainamericaedit#tonystarkedit#ironmanedit#stevetonyedit#stevetony#superhusbands#stony#steve rogers#captain america#tony stark#iron man#marvel#avengers assemble#type: gifs#universe: aa#episode: 1.25 the final showdown pt. 1#&#original: gifs#original: aa#it's actually super interesting how much the aa (and emh) writers believe in tony as a character#like the absolute blatant difference when a writer genuinely understands and sees his value#vs comic writers who just get handed iron man runs on a silver platter#tony carries the burden of being The Leader of the avengers in aa more than he does in most universes#where even steve frequently defers to him which i think is quite unique to aa#and it's wholesome Because steve also believes in him so much#every time tony wants to give up or back down or take himself out of the equation steve is standing there going “no WE NEED YOU i NEED YOU”#the BACKBONE of the avengers and also tony's ability to grow and flourish as a team leader
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TWST fic writers stop reducing Silver’s entire personality to just “sleepy boy who falls asleep all the time and is sooooo sleepy and tired and did i mention he sleeps a lot and also he loves his dad” challenge (impossible) (gone wrong)
#also if u portray him as LIKING sleep i will personally bite you#and before u say ‘oh but he really doesnt have a personality besides those traits’ that is incorrect#he’s blunt and honest to the point where he can come off as rude#he’s calm and collected and keeps a cool head even during an emergency#he’s a drama queen and often takes things too seriously#he’s not stupid exactly but can be very naive and doesn’t understand relationships very well#he’s extremely passive and rarely stands up for himself#he finds ways to blame himself for things that arent his own fault#he deeply admires and respects people who are strong and protective of their loved ones#he’s selfless and always tries to do what he considers to be the ‘right’ thing#he has a lot of trouble expressing his emotions and is insecure abt others not taking him seriously#he is so much more than just ‘precious sleepy boi uwu’#or atleast thats my interpretation of him idk u guys can do whatever you want#it just bugs me when ppl misinterpret his character so badly#this is what 2 years of hyperfixation will do to a person#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst silver#twst analysis#diasomnia#character analysis
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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.
So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!
But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.
According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.
He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!
So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.
Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.
And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.
And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.
Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.
Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.
Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...
One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.
Gepard doesn't sleep that night.
Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.
Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.
She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.
"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.
Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.
His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?
“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.
Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.
“We don't even know-”
“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.
“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.
It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.
The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.
“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-
Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”
“No what?”
“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”
Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”
Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.
Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.
“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”
“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.
From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.
The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.
He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.
Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.
Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.
Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.
In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.
Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.
He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.
He only hopes that it's enough.
#honkai star rail#gepard landau#hsr gepard#pelageya sergeyevna#hsr pela#hsr#smacking Gepard out of Hoyo's hands and running off with him skzjmdkd#tentatively Figuring Out how to write these two... It feels a little tricky starting out with extreme circumstances like this haha#I feel like a lot of people see Gepard as naive for trusting Cocolia so much but I don't think that's quite it. He's not stupid.#He's not even naive.#He's someone who has been groomed since birth by his own parents to be an obedient Guard and nothing outside of that role.#You are not immune to propaganda etc etc#But even then there are a lot of things like all the included screenshots where he. Doesn't actually seem to like/trust Cocolia much.#I think Serval was a really good influence on him as a kid. He might have turned out much much worse without her.#and even with how I've written him here. I don't think he's normally slow to act or one to stand aside and make other people lead.#it's just that this specifically was a pretty extreme circumstance for him.#and also he openly states elsewhere that Pela is overbearing and he tries not to interfere with her work whenever possible nskzhdjdjd#Pela too. I don't know that I normally see her as someone with a bad temper or quick to anger.#But again; extreme circumstances haha#Bc like. they both would have seen what happened to Serval when she stood up to Cocolia. they know damn well what's going to happen to them.#if they fuck this up and get caught then they're done.#and I mean. What are they supposed to do? they're two people against the highest authority of the entire nation.#regardless I do love Gepard agonizing over this in the future after Bronya takes over and everything has settled down#did he do the right thing? did he make the right choice? if he went vigilante how many soldiers would have died without his protection?#would Belobog have fallen completely? how many people died because he DIDN'T run away? was it actually enough?#I love characters forced between a rock and a hard place. no good options. pick your poison.#no winning- only weighing what you can and cannot bear to lose.#make your choice and decide whether you want to rot or to burn.
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