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starmapz · 17 days ago

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what you know - ch4: served || r. sukuna

❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]

❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞

❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety. tags will be updated as series continues.

❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.

❦ words ; 12k.

main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter

When Sukuna was in the sixth grade, he read A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket for a project. He doesn’t remember the plot, the characters, nor any details of real importance about the series, but he knows one thing for sure.

The title could describe how his day unfolded.

Nothing is particularly out of place throughout his morning. He wakes up to the sound of his alarm, blearily rubbing his eyes as he gets out of bed for an early morning workout. He throws his airpods in and turns on his workout playlist as he lifts weights and hops on his treadmill before taking a cold shower to rouse himself from the clutches of drowsiness.

He wakes up the kids, helping Yuji get ready while he multitasks making oatmeal for breakfast and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for their lunches, which he tosses into their Pokemon lunch bags alongside some snacks. Mornings like these are like clockwork for him, simple and predictable, just how he prefers. No surprises.

With the first snow of the season chilling the air, he bundles both kids up in winter gear and grabs his heavy coat before walking them to school. He sets his alarm for their pickup, allowing him just enough time to get to his final class of the day, albeit a little bit late. Nothing new about that, though. As long as he isn’t late for your presentation, that’s all that matters. It’s the one thing he’s keeping at the front of his mind so as not to disappoint you.

He’s not sure why it matters so much, but like an itch he can’t scratch, the thought won’t go away. Ever-present and the only thing at the forefront of his mind since he accepted the presentation on your behalf. He’s not foolish enough to think that there’s any world in which you want to present at all, even though he knows you wouldn’t say no to the extra credit, and he could use it too.

He blinks snow away from his lashes, letting it melt from the warmth of his cheeks as his gaze sticks to the ground before him. His fingers fumble with the metal lighter in his pocket as he walks. He’s had it for a long time, evidence of how worn it is carved into the steel, but he’d sooner pull it apart and put it back together himself than get rid of it if it failed.

As he reaches the campus with time to spare, he spots one of your friends outside the building to his next class. He recognizes the blonde immediately, the one you sit next to at lunch, though he doesn’t recall his name. He knows they share an Accounting class, though him and Sukuna have never interacted beyond brief glances.

Keeping his distance from the blonde, Sukuna pulls out a cigarette as his thoughts are once again back on you, and all he can do is pray the nicotine dulls the feeling of his heart palpitating just at the thought of you like some pathetic teenager. The smoke billows and wisps in the air, more evident than usual in the cold, and he relishes in its brief reprieve from his thoughts.

It’s lust.

It’s nothing more than a reminder that he needs to find an excuse for his neighbour to watch his brothers so he can attend one of Gojo’s shitty frat parties and get laid.

With a glance at his watch, he stubs out his cigarette and trudges past the blonde without a glance. He makes his way to his usual seat isolated from the rest of the students in the corner closest to the door in case he needs to leave. Flipping his laptop open, he waits for the old computer to boot up so he can put together a semblance of an outline to work off of for the presentation at the end of the day.

It’s then that his misfortune begins.

His eyes flicker down to a notification in his email inbox and he sighs at the sight of the contact, his boss at the warehouse looking for him to fill a shift. Right now. He could accept the shift, miss European History, get off in time to pick up his brothers, bring them home, shower, and make it to Art History albeit a few minutes later than he’d intended. That wouldn’t be a big deal, you wouldn’t present at the beginning of class. It would also give him enough money to begin looking at Christmas gifts for the brats, which is an appealing idea…

He accepts the shift, and slips out towards the end of class. The shift isn’t unlike any other, nothing that would make anyone think this day is worse than any other. Sure, he stepped in a deep pile of snow on his way back from his shift and his ankle damn near froze and his socks are wet, but he’ll live. Not the end of the world.

He clocks out and picks up his brothers without a hitch, getting back with enough time to quickly shower the remnants of his shift from his skin and toss on a black hoodie with a Deftones logo across the front, and a pair of black jeans that were strewn over the back of his desk chair. His neighbor would be over any minute and he could head to class, only a few minutes late. An exhausting start to his day, but not bad.

A knock at the door sounds, and Sukuna’s brow furrows. Since when does his neighbor knock? He gave her a key for a reason.

“Choso! Grab that!” He calls as he throws his laptop and textbooks into his backpack, sure the sitter just forgot her keys despite being literally across the hall.

With a sigh, Sukuna casts a glance back at his room to see if he’s forgotten anything, when Choso peeks his head through a crack in the door. “Kuna? Someone’s asking for you.”

The tattooed man’s brow furrows further as he throws his backpack over one shoulder and follows after his little brother, who had shut the door on the person upon realizing it wasn’t their neighbor. The little boy stands a small ways back as Sukuna opens the door.

A man dressed in a long, deep gray peacoat with neatly styled hair stands at the door. Something akin to shock flickers in the man’s gaze at the sight of Sukuna, but it hardens as he addresses him.

“I’m looking for Ryomen Sukuna.”

Sukuna’s eyes narrow, his posture straightening. “What do you want?”

“Can you confirm you’re Ryomen Sukuna?” The man doubles down, keeping his expression indifferent.

With a scowl, Sukuna nods. “Yeah, I’m Sukuna. What do you want?” There’s more bite this time as Sukuna repeats his question.

“Excellent. I am here to serve you with legal documents. Please ensure that you attend your court hearing on March 23rd. By accepting these documents, you have been officially notified. Should you decline them, I am still obligated to make a note of this interaction.”

“The fuck?” Sukuna snatches the manilla envelope from the man’s hands, ripping it open and pulling the documents out. His eyes scan the words on the document, widening in disbelief. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

–

If Sukuna were a better man, he would have put your presentation in his calendar. He would have made an alarm. He would have sent you an email. Anything to let you know he was occupied. If he was a better man, he wouldn’t have torn his court documents in two. The ripped paper is hardly any concern when the handle on his door fell to the ground with a clank with the force he used to shut the door. At least one of those could be fixed with tape.

If Sukuna was a better man, he would have noticed his mistake before it got dark out.

With his head in his hands, he stares out the window by the table at the back of his apartment, brimming with anger when it all comes back to him.

The fucking presentation.

He wants to tell himself that he shouldn’t care, that you’re just a nuisance that wormed your way into his life and his mind. He wants to tell himself that you don’t matter and that he should forget about you like he had tried to last week, and accept that like everyone else in his life, he let you down.

But when he envisions your genuinely nervous expression at the thought of presenting even with him, his blood runs cold at the thought of you presenting without him.

He balls his hand into a fist, trembling from the sheer force of strength he puts into flexing his muscles.

“Fuck!” He hisses, slamming his palm down onto the table as he pushes himself up, sending ripped paper tumbling to the floor. His chair scrapes loudly across the scuffed hardwood of the dining space as he rushes to the door, pausing for only a moment at the sight of the handle he’d barely managed to screw loosely back into place. His jaw tightens as he grabs his keys and coat, tugging the door open a bit too hard as he hears the handle fall to the ground with a metallic thud inside the apartment.

As if he wasn’t already frustrated enough, this only serves to piss him off further. He considers himself lucky (if it can even be called that at this point) that his neighbor is still willing to watch his brothers (with a warning about the door handle) after the irritated dismissal he’d thrown her way earlier, but he’ll fix that bridge later.

There’s a more important one on his mind right now.

He’s not sure why he runs to campus first. Of course you won’t be there. Of course the professor won’t be in class, with the lecture hall closed and locked.

He tries the door again, as though a second tug at the handle might turn back time to three hours ago when he should have been here, but it’s nothing but wishful thinking. With his hand still on the unmoving handle, he slams his head against the door.

“Fuck!” With his brothers no longer around to hear, the curse escapes him in a furious roar. Whatever anger had been simmering at the surface for hours now bubbles over and explodes. In a flurry of frustration and pent up emotions, he reaches into his pocket and tosses the first thing that hits his fingers.

His lighter collides with the wall with a dull thud, falling in two pieces to the ground across the hall as a small dent is left in its wake in the drywall.

Sukuna’s hands rake through his hair, his teeth gritted as he inhales sharply, grappling with the weight of his emotions. He stumbles back until his back collides with the wall behind him, sliding down it with his head in his hands. He’s not sure how long he sits there before the sound of the cold wind whipping at the door outside brings him back to the present.

Running a hand over his face again, he grits his teeth as he stares across the hall at the lighter on the floor and frowns. Pushing himself to his feet, he crouches in front of it as he gathers the lid, hinge, and body, smoothing his thumb over the engraved name of his father on the steel.

Looks like he’ll be learning to fix a lighter sooner than he thought. Shoving it back into his pocket, he pulls his hood up over his head and makes his way back out into the cold. It’s well into the evening now, the cold snowflakes a sharp contrast to his warm skin as the night temperature falls well below that of the early morning.

His gaze rakes the empty Friday night campus. Distant laughter outside one of the bars on campus is all that disrupts the drone of wind and distant cars. You’re gonna be pissed. You have every right to be pissed, and he knows it, but for some god forsaken reason that Sukuna can’t make sense of, he can’t leave this be. He doesn’t want the image of your fearful expression as you present alone to be the only thing that comes to mind when he thinks of you.

Would it be stupid of him to show up at your door? He doesn’t even know. He doesn’t know what the protocol is for shit like this because this doesn’t happen to people like him. Sukuna’s only long-lasting friendship is with Uraume, who knows him well enough to know not to hold his fuck-ups against him. It’s a miracle they’re still friends, if he’s honest with himself. Of course, he has other people he hangs around with here and there, but no one close enough to bother himself with matters like this.

Fiddling with the broken lighter in his pocket, he sets off towards your place, bussing to the nearest stop as he makes his way there from memory. He buzzes your apartment, staring at the ground as the machine rings several times, before it eventually hangs up.

No.

He hits the button for your apartment once more, but you still don’t answer. You’re not home.

“Fuck,” he mutters, the remnants of his anger fizzling out into concern and something that twists in his gut- dread. The day has worn him down so much he has half a mind to wait for you to come home and try to talk to you, but with his mind and body as drained as he is, he doesn’t think he’ll make it home if he doesn’t leave now. That’s not even taking the cold into consideration.

Trudging back to the bus stop, he slides down against the bench and stares up at the sky. The stars are barely visible, but a few still shine brightly enough to be seen over the glow of the city lights. Like everyone else, he took Astronomy as an elective just for the credits, and he remembers that the stars that don’t flicker are planets. He wonders if the one he’s staring at is Jupiter, or maybe Venus.

He wonders if you like looking at the stars.

Sukuna leans forward with his head in his hands. He’s fucked, he’s so fucked. How many ‘unfortunate events’ do those kids go through in that stupid book? How many more can he take?

He swallows hard, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette and balancing it between his lips, reaching in again for his lighter. Although the cap isn’t attached, he hopes it still turns. To his relief, it produces a flame and he sets the broken cap over it to put it out, replacing the pieces into his pocket as he waits for the bus. The nicotine does very little to help dull the edge of his stress.

The ride home is quiet, save for the rumbling of the bus’ engine and the tapping of someone’s foot at the front of the vehicle. It’s not long before Sukuna’s back in his apartment with a screwdriver in-hand as he holds the doorknob back in place while screwing it back in. Its hold on the wooden frame is loose at best given just how badly he’d jostled it earlier and Sukuna has to turn to super glue to keep it in place.

Putting the kids to bed is a mechanical and empty action, one that he tries with every fiber of his being to hide from them. They’re smart kids, he knows they’ve already figured out something is up, but Sukuna needs to keep up appearances and make it seem as though nothing is wrong.

With the kids in bed, he sits at his desk with his laptop, his fingers hovering over your email thread. ‘sorry’, he types out, before hitting backspace. ‘howd the presentation go?’, he then types out, but that’s just about the worst thing he thinks he could send. ‘can we talk?’ he tries next, staring at the screen. He rubs his eyes with his thumb and forefinger before typing and hitting send before he can overthink his words.

[email protected] - Friday, 10:02 PM hey. let me know if you get this. i owe you.

Shutting his laptop, he leans over his desk, his chin propped up on his forearms.

His mind is plagued with thoughts that make it feel as though a dagger is being plunged straight into his chest, each one twisting and dragging it through his body. He wants to fight back, he wants to fight back so violently that he draws blood, but there’s no one on the receiving end of his anger but the world itself.

He grits his teeth, exerting enough strength that he knows his jaw will be sore tomorrow. Every muscle in his body already aches, why not add another one? With a sigh, he finds it in him to sit back up, staring helplessly at the ceiling.

When Sukuna was in second grade, he read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. He doesn’t remember what that one was about either, but that one could be the title for his day as well.

–

You blink up at the ceiling the Saturday following your shitty presentation, emotionally drained. Though Nanami had proposed to take you for breakfast… or lunch or dinner, he had allowed you to decline this time, unlike on Friday. You’re no less thankful for him being there for you, but all you really want to do is take some time for yourself.

Pushing yourself out of bed to make tea, you stare out at the snowscape outside your window, glad you’re staying inside as you’re able to bundle yourself up in blankets. You pick up your laptop, setting it on your lap in front of you as you browse movies, looking for something that appeals to you.

Your email inbox number rises as you peruse streaming services, though you don’t bother to look at it. You’re not awaiting any emails. That is, until it’s rising steadily as you’re watching it.

You know who’s blowing up your inbox. It’s not the latest deals from the ramen store down the street, or Netflix requesting to change your password.

It’s the one person you don’t want to talk to.

Your mouse hovers over the ‘x’, your finger not even an inch away from clicking. Yet some sort of bitter curiosity gets the better of you as you click on your inbox.

Seven emails, huh?

You sigh as you stare at the emails. He’s replying to the thread of your last exchanges, so you can’t see a preview of what he’s written.

“Is it so wrong of me to be disappointed?” You remember asking Nanami last night, stirring the straw in your milkshake mindlessly.

He sits up in his seat. “He made you a promise, no? You have every right to be upset.”

You glance up at him. His sharp mahogany eyes are unreadable, but you can sense his sympathy for you through his actions.

You’re silent, absorbing his words as you return to mindlessly stirring your milkshake. The chatter around you is dull in comparison to the loud thoughts of inadequacy digging their filthy claws into your mind.

“I made a fool of myself.”

“No one will remember by Monday,” Nanami tries to reassure you, but it falls on deaf ears.

“I think I said that to myself after Prom.”

Nanami’s lips press together in a tight-lipped frown. “We were kids, back then. All of us, all of them. Things will be different this time around.”

“Do you believe that, or are you just saying that to reassure me?” You ask with a dry laugh, a nervous reaction to his sympathy.

Kento frowns, leaning forward. “I believe it with my entire being,” he replies firmly, ending his statement with your name. You glance up at him again, observing the way his jaw tenses when he sees your puffy cheeks and reddened eyes. “Don’t let this keep you from being you.”

You stare back down at the strawberry milkshake. It’s melting so steadily it’s hardly a shake anymore, it’s closer to strawberry milk.

“You know what the worst part of this whole thing is?”

“What’s that?”

“Well-” you laugh bitterly, “- I can't decide what's worse; That I’m actually still worried about him for some reason or that I ever believed him to begin with.”

Nanami’s gaze flickers away from you as he leans forwards over the table. He contemplates his words carefully, mindful of your obvious feelings for the burly man. “You don't deserve to contemplate that over someone.”

“What am I supposed to contemplate, then?” You chuckle wryly, finally taking a sip of your milkshake. It’s definitely just strawberry milk now. At least it’s not lukewarm yet.

“Did you see the latest episode of ‘Love is Blind’?”

You set your milkshake down with a clink. “Did you?”

“Well… No, but I heard Shoko and Haibara speaking about it at lunch.”

You crack a smile. It’s half-hearted and doesn't reach your eyes, but he senses your amusement anyways and returns your smile.

Now, staring at your unopened emails from Sukuna, Nanami’s words continue to echo in your mind.

“You don't deserve to contemplate that over someone.”

So why are you struggling to return to Netflix? You should just watch a movie and forget about him. If his words meant anything, he would have shown up when you needed him. He wouldn’t have made promises he couldn’t keep.

Sighing, you will yourself to click away and keep your mind off of him as you peruse movies on Netflix. Mindlessly scrolling through each category, it’s by the third one that it occurs to you that you haven’t actually been paying attention to your options, your thoughts occupied by the one man you’re trying to avoid.

After showing you his words mean nothing, why are you still so stuck to him like glue? Staring into your mug of tea, you frown when the answers to your problems aren’t swirling within the warm drink.

Against your better judgment, you take a sip of your tea and click on his emails.

[email protected] - Friday, 10:02 PM hey. let me know if you get this. i owe you.

Frustration stirs within you. He knew damn well that you would be upset with him for not showing up and the best he can do is an ‘I owe you’?

[email protected] - Saturday, 7:23 AM cmon just let me know youre seeing this

[email protected] - Saturday, 7:28 AM fuck, i know i

[email protected] - Saturday, 7:29 AM shit. hit send too early. i know i fucked up but give me a chance to explain

[email protected] - Saturday, 7:33 AM please.

The sight of his plea staring back at you feels like a mockery. Burying your face in your hands, you groan loudly to yourself, as though it might help you make sense of your emotions. Sukuna doesn’t plead with people, he’s made that much clear. Everything with him happens on his terms and is purely transactional, so what’s changed to have him suddenly begging for your attention without asking for anything in return?

Some delusional part of you wants to believe that whatever he wants from you is more than just free babysitting services but he’s given you no reason to believe otherwise.

[email protected] - Saturday, 8:41 AM ill make it up to you. idk how but fuck

You know he’s serious when his email ends with your name. Not Prom Queen, not some nickname that borderlines on flirty, but your given name.

Your mouse hovers over the reply button, thoughts racing through your mind. What if there was an emergency? What if he needs help? What if the boys are in trouble?

No, if something was wrong he wouldn’t be rambling over email. Nothing is wrong, Sukuna is just an asshole, and maybe you need to remind yourself of that. Maybe you’re too kind, maybe you give others the benefit of the doubt too often when they don’t deserve it. Maybe the rumors about Sukuna were always true. Maybe Gojo is right about him.

With frustration fueling your movements, you close the emails and shut the tab. He doesn’t deserve your time and you’ll be damned if you let him ruin your weekend with his incessant messages.

Returning to Netflix, you finally settle on a romantic comedy you’ve been meaning to watch and get back to your (somewhat cold) tea.

–

After a relaxing Saturday spent by yourself and a rejuvenating Sunday spent alongside Shoko, who convinced you (again) to forget about Sukuna, you feel miles better than you did on Friday.

Shoko was ready to put up a fight with your former project partner when you told her what had happened. Now that classes had ended for the semester and you only found yourself on campus to make use of the library, the extra free time only fueled her fire. Nanami, usually cool and composed, was no better when the two of you joined him in the library.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, shooting a glance at Shoko who he’s certain had heard about what went down.

“I’m okay. Thanks, Nanamin,” you shoot him a smile. Though you do seem more at ease than Friday, it’s clear that your anxiety and frustration runs deeper than simply being disappointed. You’re heartbroken. Shoko and Kento would have to be fools not to see the heart eyes you’d had for the History major.

“If you need anything from me, please feel free to ask,” he offers.

“Anything at all,” Shoko tacks on to his statement.

A smile pulls at your lips, even as you find yourself sighing. “Can both of you stop trying to fight him? I’m okay now, really.”

“I wasn’t suggesting that I would fight him-” Nanami begins, interrupted by Shoko.

“I was.”

You can’t help a laugh at her confidence and the grimace that Nanami dons at the sound of said confidence. Regardless, you’re thankful for their support, even if Shoko’s just a bit too eager to teach Sukuna a lesson.

You all fall into easy silence as you study individual subjects, simply enjoying being in the presence of your friends. The morning is quiet and still in the library outside of the sounds of pencils and pens scratching over paper and textbook pages turning. Only a few other students made their way to campus on the first official day of break aside from you, Kento, and Shoko.

Your focus wanes quickly as you find your thoughts wandering, something that’s been commonplace when you find yourself stuck in your own head. Your thoughts roam back to Sukuna’s emails, to his mention of wanting to explain what happened. Had something happened?

You shake your head, trying to remind yourself he’s not worth your time of day and you have no reason to trust his words.

The morning drags on as you struggle to focus on your studies and the moment the clock strikes noon, you’re immediately packing up and dragging your friends to the lunch hall, desperate for the reprieve from your hopeless thoughts.

“I think I’m fucked for my Bio exam,” Shoko sighs as you take a seat at your usual table in the empty hall.

“Perhaps if you had spent more time in your lectures and less time smoking outside my Accounting class, you wouldn’t feel that way,” Kento bites back, earning a laugh from you. He may be aloof and calm, but sometimes you forget just how sassy the blonde can be when he wants to be.

“Shit, that was your Accounting class?”

“Mhm.”

“Motherfucker,” Shoko mutters under her breath, looking off to the side when something catches her eye and she sits up straight suddenly. Both you and Kento take notice of her weird behaviour and go to follow her line of sight, turning your gaze over your shoulder until you’re eye to eye with none other than the cause of all your problems.

Sukuna’s chest rises and falls unevenly, as though he ran to the lunch hall in an effort to find you, his usual aloof expression long gone and replaced with something you’ve never seen on him before- regret. He’s in a black winter coat, his hands fiddling with something in his pocket as he stands there as though he’s debating what he wants to do.

Your heart clenches, your chest feeling heavy all of a sudden. All you can do is freeze, staring uncertainly at him as your body flips between a morbid curiosity to know what happened and the sparks of anger that you feel for him putting you through something you made clear you didn’t want to do.

Finally making up his mind, he crosses the lunch hall to you, only to be met with Nanami taking a stand in front of you. Kento is a tall man, though you would never know when he stands between you and Sukuna. Even with the horribly obvious disadvantage between them, there’s something heartwarming about Kento putting himself between you.

Sukuna’s gaze hardens, his jaw tightening at the sight of Kento. He opens his mouth to say something, but Shoko speaks up first.

“Leave, Sukuna.”

Your lips purse as you glance between Shoko and Kento. It’s sweet, really, of them to try to spare your feelings and fend for you, but you can do it yourself.

“Ken, Sho. I can handle this.” Your smile does little to convince either of them, but with a frown, Nanami sits down. With a resounding sigh, you’re able to finally get a good look at Sukuna.

You’re used to him looking tired, you’re more than used to him looking downright exhausted, but the expression he wears now isn’t exhaustion. His muscles are tense, eyes flickering between your friends before they land on you and it’s only then that his distress becomes apparent. He’s doing what he can to hide it, but his facade of indifference is already cracked, falling apart at the seams.

Your heart twists at the sight as you wrestle with your anger and concern, deciding finally to put yourself first for once. Something Sukuna is clearly incapable of.

“I don’t want to see you, Sukuna.” Your voice is firm and even, and you’re grateful you’re able to keep up the hardened shell you’ve built up over the weekend. He doesn’t deserve your tears or your anxiety.

“I know. You can tell me to fuck off and I’ll listen, but first you gotta give me a chance to explain,” his voice is raspy, evidence of some sort of strain, and you wonder whether he’s been crying or yelling, or maybe he’s been smoking more than usual. Conceivably all three.

You grimace, staring at the wall as you contemplate his words. “You promise you’ll leave me alone after?”

“Anything.”

He’s so quick to respond that it tugs at your heart strings. Why is everything about this interaction so unfamiliar? Where’s the Sukuna you know? Even as he had begun to open up over the last month, you’d never seen him like this. His hand is still fidgeting with something in his pocket, the faint sounds of metal scraping ringing out from his pocket, he keeps shooting glances back at your friends, and his usual air of confidence has fizzled out to nothing.

Then there’s his appearance. His hair is disheveled, pushed back and sticking out on all sides as though he’s been running his hand non-stop through it. His face is gaunt from a lack of sleep based on the dark circles under his eyes and his jaw has been clenched since the moment he arrived. In fact, that might be the only part of this encounter that is familiar, he looks about as angry as usual.

“Fine,” you sigh after a moment, observing the way he exhales in relief.

“Come with me?” He asks, nodding his head towards the door.

Kento and Shoko exchange an uncertain glance as you turn back towards the table and grab your coat and pack your backpack again.

“Call us if you need anything,” Kento speaks up, loud enough for Sukuna to hear as the two men throw scowls at one another. Sukuna knows he’s in the wrong, but he still doesn’t care for this protective behaviour Ken, as you called him, is throwing his way. You’re more than capable of taking care of yourself.

“Thanks, Kento,” you whisper with a dry attempt at a smile.

With one final challenging stare at the blonde, Sukuna turns to lead the way as you pull your coat on and follow him out into the cold. The snow has been piling up over the weekend, crunching beneath your feet and allowing the cold to seep into you, chilling you straight to your bones. You zip your jacket up further, wrapping your arms around yourself as you follow after Sukuna.

He glances back at you, at the way you’re obviously cold and struggling to keep in step with him given the height of the snow banks he’s trudging through. He diverts his path until you’re both in a spot that’s been cleared and you’re able to steadily keep pace with him, although you still keep a small distance back.

The air between you is heavy with unspoken words, and Sukuna knows he’ll deserve everything you throw his way, though it doesn’t make him anymore eager to get to his destination and keep his mouth shut.

“Where are we going?” Your voice is meek, and those sharp crimson irises observe you quietly from ahead for a moment before he replies.

“For lunch.”

“Oh, I actually brought my own lun-” Your words die in your throat at the sight of his brow twitching as he stares back at you. “Okay.”

You just need to grin and bear it through the next twenty or so minutes, and then you can ask him never to bother you again.

Keeping your eyes on the snow as it kicks up with each step, you’re silent for the remainder of your walk. You keep yourself a few feet back at all times, only catching up once he finally reaches his destination and holds the door as he waits for you to catch up. You pause at the entrance of the building, finding a cafe sign hung above the door.

With a nearly inaudible ‘thanks’, you slip past Sukuna into the building. You both pull your hoods down as you take a look around the cafe. Although it’s only a few blocks from the college, you’ve never been inside.

The interior is decorated in warm orange hues with deep wooden floors and plants lining the walls. There’s shelves from floor to ceiling filled with loaves of bread and a display at the front filled with pastries. Two menus hang above the back of the counter with sandwiches, soups, and salads, alongside cozy looking drink options. You make your way up to the counter slowly, followed closely by Sukuna.

“Get whatever you want,” he grumbles in a tone that would make anyone else think he’s frustrated with you, but it lacks the usual growl that would give that indication.

“Hm? Are you sure?” You ask uncertainly, knowing his financial situation all too well.

He nods. Luckily for Sukuna, he took an extra shift and he thanks whatever god will listen that he did and he can afford to buy you lunch. He owes you more than just food, but it’s a start and he hopes he can convince you to give him a chance to prove himself.

He brings a hand up to scratch his chin, the first signs of stubble poking through his skin and faintly visible around his jaw. It’s a good look on him although he clearly just hasn’t had time or bothered to shave.

“What’s good here?” You query, doing whatever you can to ease the discomfort between you, even though you want to tear into him for what he did.

“Ya haven’t been here?” He quirks a brow questioningly. You’re so close to the college he assumed you would have been. “I like the chicken and beef barley soups. The deli sandwich is good too,” he shrugs.

After a moment, you settle on a small soup and a grilled cheese, letting your attention wander to the plants as you wait for the food while Sukuna pays. Neither of you dare to interrupt the tense understanding keeping both of you from saying something you may regret, allowing the silence to suffocate you.

Even once your lunch is ready and the two of you find a quiet seat in the back corner of the cafe, it does nothing to ease the growing anger threatening to boil over as this frustrating man can’t even so much as apologize.

“How’s your food?”

You drop your spoon into the bowl. It clatters against the edge with a sound that startles the poor employee behind the counter, but your attention is stuck on the man in front of you. The stupid man who can’t bother to start with the one thing you truly want from him.

“You know I’m not happy with you, right?”

His gaze flickers between the spoon and your eyes, which are filled with a blazing fire he’s never seen from you before. He sighs, setting his own spoon down as he sits up. “Figured as much when you didn’t email me.”

“Oh, not emailing you back was what tipped you off that I might be upset? Not-”

“I know, I know.” He’s strangely somber as he accepts the way you’re tearing into him. “I didn’t mean to miss the presentation.” He hunches forward over the table on his forearms, his shoulders tense. There’s no subtle cocky bravado behind his demeanor as there usually is, he’s simply… here, listening intently.

Shaking your head, you chew on your lip as you do what you can to subdue your anger. “I’m sure you didn’t mean to miss our other meetings too, but you really had me thinking this time was different.”

“C’mon, those other times weren’t a big deal,” he gruffs, his forearms visibly bulging as he flexes the muscles. He’s doing his best to keep his frustration at bay.

“No, they weren’t. But this time, you signed me up for public speaking. I told you I didn’t want to do it. I even trusted you with my insecurities, and I thought because of that, this time would be different.” You swallow hard, shaking your head as you fight back tears. “But your word doesn’t mean anything, does it?”

“That’s-” His hand balls into a fist as he growls out the beginning of a sentence, but the sharp look you give him has him re-thinking his words. His hand relaxes, his fingers tapping on the table as he diverts his attention to a plant on the wall. “That’s not fair,” he manages, strained.

“How is that not fair? You told me you would handle it and you knew how I felt about presenting. How is that fair to me?” Your voice is low, somewhere between a whisper and a yell as you try to keep your voice down and more importantly even despite the tears pricking at your eyes.

Sukuna adjusts the way he’s sitting, his hunger subsiding at the sight of your growing frustration with him. “It’s… not fair to you.” All he can do is agree, because he knows he deserves this.

“So why couldn’t you grow a pair and at least warn me you wouldn’t be there? I could have prepared something at least!” You make a motion in the air with your hand in disbelief as your rage grows.

Sukuna’s jaw tightens as memories of why he missed the presentation flood his mind and god how he wants to walk out right now and not worry about you or your feelings, or hurting you, but that would be too simple for Sukuna’s life. No, whatever force of nature Sukuna had angered wanted him to suffer, wanted him to sit here and listen to your agony, pinned to the seat by his reverence for you.

He drags his hands over his face, shaking his head like a dog in an effort to come to his senses and come up with something to say.

His silence is somehow worse than his usual devil-may-care attitude. At least you know how to handle his arrogance and anger. His silence only serves to further the insult of his behavior. “You really have nothing to say about all of this?”

Sukuna has a million things to say, but his thoughts are so disorganized he doesn’t know how to make sense of what he wants to say. What needs to be said. He should have taken more time to come to terms with the gravity of the situation he’d gotten himself into, but he couldn’t bear the idea that you would be living with the thought that Sukuna had abandoned you. Yet he’s here now, with you, to disprove that and he doesn’t know what he can do to fix things with you. One misstep and he digs a deeper grave than the one he’s sitting in already.

That’s the thing about you. You’re the sun, able to brighten any room you walk into with so much as a smile, and Sukuna isn’t even the moon by comparison. He’s a distant star, flickering on the horizon but always outshone by those brighter. Even knowing this, he so selfishly doesn’t want to let you go. He hardly understands it himself, but he finds himself smiling more around you and that alone is worth the effort on his part.

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out a pathetic excuse for an apology, one that he knows won’t put out the fires he’s started, but it’s the best he can manage in his disheveled state.

You shut your eyes, letting out a long, dragging sigh. When you open them, you’re staring down at your reflection in your soup bowl, distorted by floating noodles. It’s a genuine apology, a rarity when it comes to him, but he’s lost your trust and good will. Of course there’s a part of you that wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he’s not giving you any reason to believe his words, let alone a reason to leave you sputtering over words at the front of your class last week.

Kento’s right. You don’t deserve to be constantly guessing, even if it tugs at your already fragile heart. Why did it have to be him that your heart decided to fixate on?

“I don’t know how I expected this to go, but I guess I should have known this would happen,” you mumble, getting to your feet and grabbing your coat. You need to leave now before you second-guess yourself.

“Wait-! Fuck…” Sukuna’s on his feet in an instant, unable to look you in the eye as he reaches for your wrist, staring at the point where your skin connects like it’s burning him.

“Shit, just…” He hesitates, his jaw tightening. “Gimme a moment.” He doesn’t dare let you go out of fear you’ll leave, his other hand dipping into his pocket as he fiddles with his broken lighter again.

It takes him a moment to gather himself but finally he finds his footing.

“Look, I owe you. I know I fuckin’ owe you, okay? It was a piece of shit move.” He finally meets your gaze, his resolve hardening. “I shoulda been there, I- I got caught up with something. I didn’t mean to miss it and I-” he hesitates, “- I’m beggin’ you to trust me.”

“Why should I trust you? You’ve never given me any reason to. This is just a shitty excuse to use me as a free babysitter again,” you shrug, trying to use reason so as not to fall for the excuses he’s sputtering that your heart so desperately wants to cling to.

His face contorts in disbelief. “Why the fuck would I care about that?”

“If that’s not what this is about, then what is it about? Because if you cared about me at all, you would have been there.”

“Fuck- No- That’s not-” He huffs, his anger threatening to boil over. Running his spare hand through his hair, he grumbles another curse under his breath. “Prom Queen-”

“Don’t call me that.” He knows that’s the cause of your humiliation in the first place, to bring it up right now is downright cruel.

“- Somethin’ happened- with the kids. I didn’t forget. I wanted to be there, I swear on my life that something came up.”

You pause, contemplating his words as he finally gives you some semblance of a reason for his absence, and it’s the exact reason you’d expressed to Kento that had you still worried over the man’s dumb ass. An emergency, a reason to be worried about him, even if he didn’t deserve that kindness from you.

“What happened?” You ask cautiously, sitting back down. Sukuna breathes out a sigh of relief and releases your wrist when you sit back down with him.

“It’s nothin’ I can’t handle, but I need you to believe me. I don’t care that you were babysitting the brats. And that wasn’t free anyway.”

It was, but you’ll let that slide.

Your brow furrows. “What is this about then? Since when do you care about anyone other than your brothers or yourself?”

“Christ, I’m not heartless,” he mutters, shutting his mouth when you shoot him a glare. Yeah, he deserves that. “I care. I do care.” He runs his tongue over his lower lip.

“You didn’t seem to care when you didn’t talk to me for a week and a half straight.”

“I thought we already established that I was a dick for that,” he grumbles, frowning.

“That was when this was a one-time thing. Twice, Sukuna? Really? How am I supposed to trust you when you pulled the same stunt again so soon?” You grimace, quietly observing the way his finger is tapping the table in sync with his leg shaking. At the very least, he doesn’t seem to be lying.

“I don’t expect you to, just give me a chance. Gimme a chance to prove I mean it.”

Kento would kill you for even entertaining the thought, yet… you can’t help it.

“Can you at least tell me what happened?”

Sukuna sighs, leaning back and crossing his arms. If ever there was a time to tell you what happened, it should be now. But Sukuna can’t bear the thought of bogging down your life with more issues than what he’s already thrust upon you. “I don’t want you involved in it.”

“You’re not doing yourself any favors by not telling me.”

“I know,” he frowns, “but I don’t want you involved. It’s messy and complicated and I know you and I know you like to stick your nose in my fuckin’ business,” he scowls at the thought.

“You could at least be nice to me since you’re trying to apologize.” You grimace, exasperated with the attitude he’s throwing your way. You’re tired of his bullshit and who can blame you?

“Right. Sorry. I’m an asshole.” He sees the gears turning in your mind. “I’m a dick,” he tries to appeal to you. Had he blinked, he could have missed the way your lips twitched at the corners into the smallest hint of a smile. “Just give me one chance.”

You stare down at your soup, which is surely cold by now, scrutinizing him as you think things through. Your silence is nothing short of miserable for Sukuna, but he’ll give you all the time in the world if he can have your kindness for one more second.

It’s that same kindness that you just know Shoko and Kento are going to absolutely kill you for as you let out a prolonged sigh after weighing your options. “One chance, Sukuna. One.” Maybe you’re naive for it, but you want to believe that whatever reason he had is a good one.

To your surprise, there’s no irritated grumble or begrudging sigh from him. No notes of disapproval. He simply nods.

“And you have to help me study.”

“Deal.”

“Oh! And you have to come eat lunch with me on campus again.”

His lip curls up in distaste. “Your friends don’t like me.”

“They’ll come around,” you shrug. “Oh! And-”

“Alright, alright. Don’t push your luck, woman,” Sukuna grumbles, leaning on his fist. You giggle at him and although he knows things aren’t back to normal, it’s a start. He’s not stupid enough to think he’s fixed everything right away, but even if it doesn’t quite reach your eyes, he’s thrilled to at least see that you’re smiling.

That smile that’s like the sun.

The rest of lunch is quieter than usual, the regular cadence of your conversations never fully returning.

“How are Choso and Yuji? Is everything alright now?”

The burly man’s eyes seem to dull at the question as they stay fixed on the soup he’s eating. “They’ll be fine.”

His reaction is anything but reassuring. He doesn’t seem nearly as sure of himself as usual, choosing instead to push the question aside. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Fuck, is he ever difficult sometimes.

“You know, if we’re gonna try to be friends, I’d appreciate it if you gave me something to work with here,” you offer a wry smile, your best attempt at lightening the air. He shoots you a glance, spooning more soup into his mouth as he leans on his palm against the table.

“It’s been a shitty weekend,” he answers. Well, that doesn’t really give you anything to work with, but at least he’s being honest with you. You fall silent again, the steady clinking of spoons against porcelain and the buzzing of a lunch rush behind you seeming to fall to the wayside in favor of a quiet understanding that things aren’t quite back to normal.

“Am I allowed to ask how the presentation went or would I be digging my own grave?” Sukuna asks over a spoonful of soup after an extended silence.

“I humiliated myself, what do you want me to say?”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” he tries to reassure you, though it comes across empty.

You’re reminded of the laughter and judgmental glares, setting your spoon down as the reigns of anxiety stir in your stomach at the thought.

“I’m sorry, Pr-” he hesitates, his jaw tightening as the new meaning of his go-to nickname sinks in. “- Princess. I hope you at least took credit for my bullshit.”

“I did.”

Sukuna offers a proud smile. “Good girl.”

You blink down at your soup as your stomach does a backflip and your cheeks heat up, and all you can do is pray that he hasn’t noticed the effect that his words had on you.

It’s not long before you’ve both finished your meals over relative silence. “Um- thanks for lunch.”

“Yeah. No problem,” Sukuna gruffs.

“I should go.”

“Let me walk you back,” he insists, as though the uneasy silence wasn’t enough for him. With a lopsided smile, you grab both of your trays and dispose of the trash before you find yourself back out in the cold again.

Sukuna mindlessly fiddles with the lighter in his pocket again, a reminder that he needs to figure out how to put it back together, much like his friendship with you, if he can even call it that.

In an effort to mend things, you turn towards him as you wait to cross the street, smiling shyly. “You know, I do appreciate the effort, Sukuna. I honestly didn’t think you’d really bother trying.”

He scowls. “Sometimes you’re too honest.” He sighs, but he can’t be too upset when you’re giggling again, even if it’s at his expense. “But, that’s fai- shit!” He cuts himself off, whipping his hand from his pocket in a flash as he pats his jacket down.

Your lips are pursed as you watch him, puzzled by what he’s doing. That is, until a puff of smoke leaves his pocket. You blink at him.

“Did you just…”

“Shut up.”

“Light yourself on fire?”

“I said shut up,” he hisses, his cheeks reddening. He’ll blame the cold if you ask, but he’s embarrassed beyond belief, his cool exterior crumbling as he somehow managed to spark a flame in his own damn pocket.

You bite down hard on your lip in an effort to stop yourself from laughing.

“Don’t. Don’t fucking laugh.” He snarls, flashing you a glare.

But being told not to do something only makes it that much harder.

“You’re-” A laugh bubbles between your words and you do your best to swallow it. “You’re okay right?” You strain through your barely-contained chortles.

With a peek into his pocket, he pulls out the lighter, lid, and hinge pin, tossing them into the opposite pocket as he pats down his coat once more. “Yeah, seems fine now.”

Well if he’s fine- you absolutely double over in laughter, unable to bear holding it in any longer.

“Oh, laugh it up, short stuff,” he grumbles, dusting whatever ashes had clung to his skin off onto his jeans. He grits his teeth as he watches you double over at his expense, his cheeks no less red than they were a minute ago as the crimson glow spreads to his ears.

At least this time he can blame the cold, or the fire.

Not that you’d believe him.

As your giggles finally subside, Sukuna’s able to relax more than he has since Friday at the sight of your eyes crinkling at the corners in genuine happiness. Maybe embarrassing himself in front of you isn’t so bad, if it brings back a semblance of the connection he’d been chasing since he found you in the lunch hall.

Wiping tears from the corners of your eyes, you tilt your head. Cute. “How did that even happen? Don’t lighters have like a- a-” you wrack your brain, turning your attention to the overcast sky. “Like a safety or something?”

Sukuna digs a hand into his pocket that isn’t singed, holding the base of his lighter out to you. “It might have, but it’s broken.”

Curiously, you run your hand over the broken hinge, flipping the lighter over. The name ‘Itadori’ is carved in cursive across the back.

“Itadori?”

Sukuna hums. “My dad.”

Your face softens. “I think it can be fixed.” You hold it back out to him and he tucks it back in place.

“Maybe.”

Now that Sukuna’s not literally on fire, you’re able to cross the street and head back to the library where you’re sure you’ll find Kento and Shoko.

“Are you gonna join us?”

“Another time. I gotta take care of some shit.”

“Thanks for lunch. See you around, Sukuna.”

Before you can turn away, his fingers brush your wrist, as if he’s hesitant to stop you.

“Thank you,” he breathes quietly.

You smile.

–

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Sho, please, you weren’t there!” You try to insist.

“Girl. I’m begging you, you’re better than him.”

To nobody’s shock or awe, Shoko and Kento are equally as unimpressed that you’ve given Sukuna another chance. It comes from a place of concern, of course, but they insist you’re letting him walk all over you.

“There was an emergency with-” you cut yourself off with a glance at Nanami. You suppose you can’t go airing out Sukuna’s personal business to him given that he doesn’t know about the kids. “There was a family emergency,” you insist, “it was an accident.”

“You believe that bullshit?” Shoko’s whipping an unlit cigarette through the air like it’s a sword and it’s you she’s aiming to strike.

“I don’t think it’s bullshit,” you mumble.

With a sullen sigh, Kento finally speaks up in an unimpressed tone. “Had we not just discussed that you deserve better?”

You wince, his words searing. “He made a mistake. Accidents happen, Ken.”

“Hell of an accident,” Shoko shakes her head. “You’re actually hopeless.”

Pouting, you look to Kento for backup, but he doesn’t seem to be in agreement either.

“Give him a break,” you whine, “he literally lit himself on fire today.”

There’s a collective hum of confusion from both of your friends.

“He was messing with a lighter in his pocket and he accidentally lit his pocket on fire,” you grin.

Shoko scoffs. “That’s almost impressive, between the safety and the lack of oxygen in his pocket.”

“Well, the safety was broken,” you reason.

“Hah. Dumbass,” she snorts, exchanging a glance with Nanami. “Just… be careful with him, okay? He’s got a short fuse and a whole boatload of baggage that you and your scholarship don’t need to be involved in.”

“Don’t let him step on you,” Kento pleads in a tone unfamiliar to you.

Your brow furrows as you observe him, but his expression is aloof as ever. “I know, I know. I’ll be careful, I promise.”

–

It’s cold as you slip into the lobby of Sukuna’s building the following evening. You’d re-opened your email tab the previous night to find a message from him.

[email protected] - Monday, 8:58 PM busy tomorrow? kids wanna see ya

[email protected] - Monday, 9:39 PM Just the kids want to see me? ;)

[email protected] - Monday, 9:47 PM you coming or not

You could envision his scowl from behind the screen as you teased him, a stupid smile on your face at the thought of it. Things may not be back to normal, but your heart certainly isn’t aware of that as it palpitates at every thought of him.

Now, as you make your way up to his apartment with your GameCube, you don't really know what to expect.

The moment you crack the door to his apartment, you’re bombarded by Yuji in a tight hug as he’s practically leaping into your arms in utter excitement. Caught off-guard, you barely manage to catch him as he excitedly chants your name.

“We missed you!” He grins as you let him up onto your shoulders, ruffling Choso’s hair while he calmly smiles in greeting.

“That’s enough,Yu,” Sukuna mutters from the stove. He’s dressed in a pair of jeans, that same painfully tight black tank top from last week and a red plaid shirt that hangs loosely from his shoulders. A pair of wireless black headphones sits atop his head, but he pulls them down around his neck as you enter the apartment.

Yuji pouts as he begins to clamber down from your shoulders, landing with a thump! back on the floor before hopping over to the TV again.

Bringing you around the kids is likely a part of Sukuna’s scheme to bring things back to normal, now that you’re seeing him again. Kids are smart, too smart at times and they would know if something is wrong.

The apartment is warm in contrast to the cold winter evening, the smell of fried chicken wafting through the air. You bound up to Sukuna, peeking around his side. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

He clicks his tongue. “D’you think I feed them takeout for every meal?” He arches a brow as he looks over his shoulder at you.

“Maybe,” you simper, looking over the ingredients. There’s a rice cooker with a steadily descending clock and he’s frying up some chicken. “Katsu?”

“Mm.”

“It smells great!” You grin, turning back to give Sukuna space to cook as you head back towards Choso and Yuji. “So, I hear you two missed me?” You chide, your heart filled with warmth when Yuji eagerly nods and launches into a story from school that he’d been wanting to tell you since last week. You listen attentively and his eyes shine when you laugh along with him.

“Give her some space, brat. Come grab plates,” Sukuna instructs calmly, once Yuji’s story is over. He’s more at ease than he has been in a while, and even with the weight of everything going on in his life piled on his shoulders, he feels the familiar pull of your gravity keeping him grounded.

Like some sort of drug, you just seem to relieve his tension merely with your presence. You really are like the sun, warming his skin and lulling his worries to a dull buzz.

As Yuji excitedly runs over to Sukuna in the kitchen, Choso gingerly approaches you. “Thanks for coming.” His tone suggests he knows a portion of what happened between you and Sukuna and he’s grateful you’d give his idiot older brother another chance. Smart kid, just like you thought.

You return his smile. “How’ve you been, Cho?”

“I’m good. Um-” his gaze flickers briefly to the back of the apartment where Sukuna has his arms crossed over his chest as he watches Yuji set the table, handing the little boy three four plates. Choso’s voice lowers as he continues. “I think something’s wrong. Um- with Kuna.”

You tilt your head, following the little boy’s gaze. Sukuna doesn’t seem much different from any other time you’ve seen him. His skin is still somewhat gaunt, but he looks better than yesterday, no longer under duress. “What do you mean?” You prod softly.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, perplexing you. “Someone came to the house on Friday,” he tells you. Your lips purse at the realization that Friday was your presentation. Maybe his reason for missing your presentation is bigger than he’s letting on. “He seemed mad at them and then he was gone most of the night.”

“He seems fine now,” you comment, but you don’t know Sukuna well enough to know who could have angered him at the door. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I’m sure your brother’s fine. I’ll keep an eye on him.”

Choso nods, sunken eyes following Yuji’s movements as he places napkins around the table. It’s not long before you’re all seated with a plate of chicken katsu curry.

“Thanks, Kuna!” Yuji cheers gleefully, digging in immediately. His mild expression cracks as he picks up his utensils, eyes flickering around the table to his two little brothers before landing on you. He may only hum in response to Yuji, but you see the subtle gleam in his eye, along with something else that you can’t quite identify. Sadness?

Choso’s words echo in your mind, but you can’t find any other sign of anything being wrong. You settle on keeping an eye on him, smiling gratefully at him for making you dinner. The meal is filled with Yuji’s imaginative rambles as he shares stories from school and stories that may only be about forty percent true. Kids, right? Either way, you laugh along and grin at him.

“You know,” you begin once all of your plates are clean, “if you go check my backpack, I brought something for you guys.”

Like cartoon characters, both kids’ eyes widen and they bolt off towards the living room, two bundles of thrilled laughter as their full attention turns towards the GameCube tucked into your bag.

As you join Sukuna with two empty plates where he’s cleaning up in the kitchen, he casts a glance at you. “You’re too good to them.”

Placing your hands on the counter beside him, you shrug. “I just like spoiling them.”

“I see that. They ask about you a lot.” Your heart swells. You’re not a grinch, but you think your heart grew three sizes just now.

“I think they get it from you,” you tease, poking his bicep. He scowls down at you, rolling his shoulder as though it’ll rebuke your teasing.

“They didn’t,” he grumbles, turning towards the sink and flipping on the tap to run water over the plates.

You follow his movement, leaning against the counter beside him. “Is that why you’re being so grumpy about it? Because they don’t get it from you?” You grin, giving him a bright smile.

Sukuna’s lips curl into a devious smirk and before you know it, he lifts his hand from the running water and flicks it at your face. His smile widens to a grin when you jump, squealing in shock.

“Sukunaaa!” You cry, wiping the water from your cheeks and forehead with the back of your hand.

He chuckles, making a point of letting the water run over his hand again as he shoots you a sly smirk.

“Don’t you dare,” you hiss, brow furrowed. But when has Sukuna ever listened?

He subtly flicks more water at you, chuckling when you swat his bicep and go to join his little brothers on the couch with a pout that’s just too cute. Both kids move to the floor as the familiar sounds of Kirby Air Ride fill the room and Sukuna joins you on the couch, sitting just close enough that his knee brushes your leg.

“You’re studying English Lit, yeah?”

You nod, shuffling slightly closer to Sukuna to hear him over the TV. “Yeah, this is my last year. I’m hoping I can line something up in the next couple of months.”

“What do you wanna do?” He queries, leaning towards you just enough to give you the impression he’s seeking your warmth.

“A book editor!” You grin, eyes shining.

He lifts a brow. “You wanna read half-baked books for a livin’?”

You can’t help but laugh. “Sure, something like that.”

Amused, Sukuna smiles, relaxing into the couch.

“Have you thought more about what you want to do?” You ask cautiously, tilting your head as you prod at Sukuna’s reinforced walls.

A muscle in his jaw ticks. “No,” he grumbles, pulling his gaze down to his lap. Before you can push him any further, he glances at his watch and gets to his feet. “Be right back.”

You purse your lips as he hurries out of the room as though he has something to do. Sighing, you grab your bag that’s sitting on the floor by Choso, dragging it to your feet in search of the gum that you know is buried somewhere in its depths. You offer some to both of the boys before tossing your bag aside when something grabs your attention.

A torn piece of paper is on the ground at your feet, it must have slid out from under the couch when you had pulled your bag to your feet. That’s not all that unusual given all three of them are students, but the logo on the paper catches your eye.

Decorated in greens, you recognize the bold logo of a law office on the other side of town. A crease forms in your brow as you stare at the logo, but the paper has been torn in a way that all you can really see is the logo and that it addresses Ryomen Sukuna.

Could that have been Sukuna’s dad? No, that wouldn’t make sense if his lighter belonged to his father and ‘Itadori’ is engraved into its side. It had to be Sukuna himself. You suppose you’ve never actually heard anyone refer to him by another name, but the name is fitting somehow, even if he chooses not to use it.

The sound of footsteps alerts you to Sukuna’s return and you tuck the paper back where it belongs, or at least where you found it. The nosey and concerned part of you wants to prod, especially given the apprehension Choso expressed to you earlier, but you know better than to push Sukuna’s limits.

Sukuna rounds the corner with tense shoulders, tilting his neck to either side as he cracks it.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just didn’t wanna hear you nagging about what I wanna do.” There’s a little more fire behind his words than usual and you sense that this is not the time to be asking why in the hell there’s legal papers torn up under his couch like a rabid mutt got a hold of them.

“A little dramatic, don’t you-”

“Be nice, Kuna!” Yuji yells suddenly, pausing his game.

Sukuna’s jaw slacks in disbelief at his little brother. “Pay attention to your game, brat,” he hisses.

“No! You’re gonna scare her off again! Meanie!”

“That’s it-” With a gleam in his eye, Sukuna lunges forward and tosses Yuji over his shoulder. He’s met with thunderous giggles as the little boy kicks and wriggles in an attempt to escape from his older brother. “You know what happens to kids who get in their older brother’s way?”

“NOOoooO!” Yuji cries out between giggles as he pushes his absolute hardest against the mass of muscles that is Sukuna. Choso is quietly laughing as he watches Sukuna toss his brother onto the couch, albeit gently. “No no no nononono!” Yuji puts his hands up in an attempt to block Sukuna, who pretends to sit on his brother, though you can see he’s not putting his full weight on poor little Yuji.

Putting only an ounce of his weight on his little brother, he slyly grins at you as you laugh along with the siblings, your eyes shining. He may be just about the most hardened and irritated (or maybe irritat-ing) man you’ve ever met, but it’s clear just how much he loves his brothers, even if he could use some time away from them.

“Kunaaaaaa!!” Yuji cries, weakly pushing against him.

“D’ya hear that? Almost sounds like my little brother, except it can’t be because he was a little shit,” Sukuna snorts, only to be met with giggles. You bring a hand up to your mouth as you laugh along with the poor little boy.

“Let me gooooooo!!”

“You done bein’ a brat?”

“Yesss I promise, yesss!!”

Sukuna stands up as Yuji dramatically rolls off the couch, feigning being dead. Sukuna plops back down beside you and runs a hand through his locks, mirth swirling in those striking crimson irises of his.

“You’re still a meanie,” Yuji sticks his tongue out at Sukuna, a mischievous gleam in his eye as he scoots closer to the TV, but Sukuna only rolls his eyes this time. “Don’t scare her.”

“If your brother keeps tutoring me, I’ll be back before you know it,” you reassure the young boy who grins brightly before his attention turns back to the TV. “Speaking of which, I should get going. My final project for Women’s Lit is due tomorrow at midnight.”

You begin gathering your things, pausing as you realize you would have to unplug the GameCube to pack up all of your things, so you settle on pretending to forget it, hoping that Sukuna isn’t paying attention, his eyes locked on the TV.

Checking to make sure you have your phone, wallet, and keys, you cast one last glance at the corner of the piece of paper beneath the couch that’s just barely sticking out, debating doing some snooping later.

To your delight as the boys hug you goodbye and Sukuna follows you to the door, he either forgets about the gaming console or lets it slide this time, leaning against the door frame.

“You make a mean chicken katsu,” you beam, “thanks again for dinner.”

“Mm. Thanks for the second chance.”

Your smile softens.

“I got work at one on Thursday. You up to watch the kids? If you drop by earlier, we can study beforehand.” He leans his head down to your level, the warmth of his breath fanning your face as he can’t resist flustering you at least once each time you visit. “And y’know, you never did get to tell me the third thing I owe ya,” he hums, his voice low and sultry.

Your breath hitches at the implication behind his tone and before you know it, you’re stumbling back away from his close proximity, fumbling for the button for the elevator as the rickety old door slides open with a jarring screech.

“See you on- uh- Thursday.”

“See you then,” he chuckles.

This man will be the absolute death of you.

main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter

❦ a/n ; hiii loves! i hope you all enjoyed <33 very angst heavy chapter, i'm sorry :((( i absolutely adored writing sukuna's horrible day, the poor guy. i also had to consult my friend who's a lawyer on how one gets served documents, what a confusing process and i'm sure she was even more confused why i was asking her LMAO.

anywayyy i just wanted to say that the comments and tags and asks you guys have been sending in seriously make my day and i'm so here for it. thank you all so much for all the love and support <33 as always, it's super appreciated <33

❦ taglist ; OPEN. please comment here or on the masterlist if you would like to be tagged. age MUST be easily visible on your blog.

@yenayaps @rinachains @aiicpansion @fushitoru @gojoscumslut

@hellish4ever @creamflix @theonlyhonoredone @catobsessedlady @timetoletmyimaginationfly

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writing & format © starmapz. art © 3-aem. dividers © adornedwithlight & cafekitsune

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buck-star · 7 days ago

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His cookie | R.D

>> You're not the best baker, neither is Ransom. Luckily it doesn't matter because you're his favortie cookie anyway. <<

Pairing: BestFriend!Ransom Drysdale x BestFriend!Fem!Reader

Wordcount: 1.157 Words

Warnings: fluff, idiots in love, some allusion of sexual wording, petnames [princess, cookie]

Authors Note: Christmas themed oneshot, since | haven't written for Ransom in a while, here he is, our knitted hoodie cookie monster. Divider made by me.

Events: December Daze Challenge [baking together but neither know what you're doing l @the-slumberparty], Fluffy Winter Event [Best Friends to lovers | baking]

Masterlist | Ransom Drysdale Masterlist

“Ran, no— no, that— no,” you mumble, trying to hide your smile when Ransom holds up the butter. Or at least half of it, because he just dropped the other half in the eggs. “That doesn’t work like that now. They said three eggs—“

You hold up the book of recipes, showing it to Ransom so he can see the exact amount of ingredients you should add. Your finger slides over the side, pointing to where it’s written down. Your best friend leans over the counter to read where your finger lays, shaking his head slightly.

He’s still using half of the butter in his hands, grumbling. “But it also said butter and flour!” Ransom turns his head to look into the bowl with the eggs, flour, and half of the butter.

The two of you should definitely ask someone to help you or even make the cookies so you only had to eat them. But Ransom and you are both sure that you can make them yourself, maybe with some practice, but it should work to make some easy baking tasks.

“No— Yes, but no. It says that we need butter and flour, but first we need the eggs and—“ Ransom interrupts you when he smashes the butter down on the kitchen counter.

“Punch them.” He smirks, looking into the bowl where the flour is already mixed with the eggs and half of the butter. “Guess we need to pick out the eggs— or the flour and the butter?”

“We do not punch eggs, Ran,” you laugh, your stomach already hurting from all the laughing with your best friend. Maybe you’re not the best baker, but you could work as a comedian. Maybe as a comedian who bakes cookies or tries to bake them and mixes the ingredients before the egg is in its perfect shape. “They just need to be—“

“Hard. You know— I know other things that could be covered in white stuff and could be hard, too. You can cover it in flour and butter, but that would be messy,” Ransom explains, nodding down at his crotch. You chuckle and roll your eyes playfully at him.

“Now, be serious; we have to get the eggs fluffy, foamy, whatever you want to call it. You have to be able to take the bowl, hold it above your head, and turn it around without the egg spilling anywhere,” you say, walking around the corner to stand next to Ransom.

He grins at you, one of his calloused hands reaching out to pull the bowl closer, looking at the ingredients. For a moment he looks thoughtful, like he’s considering the options you have to make the egg fluffy, but knowing it doesn’t work with the other stuff in it already.

“So, how about we just throw it away and make the dough again or we buy cookies?” Ransom suggests, his blue eyes moving from the bowl with the ingredients to you. He studies you for a moment before his gaze slides back to the bowl. When you just look at him with a smirk on your lips, he grumbles and shakes his head. “What? You want me to separate the flour and butter instead?”

You laugh softly; the thought of him sitting down with bowls and trying to seperate just the flour, just the eggs, and the butter was pretty funny. Especially considering that the flour and eggs are already pretty mixed together. “As funny and entertaining as that would be, I think we should just try and make the dough without the eggs being like they want them. It should turn into dough and cookies anyway, I guess.”

“I love you, but I don't trust you with that anymore,” Ransom mumbles under his breath. He then nods and sighs softly, turning around to stand with his back against the counter. He looks thoughtful for a moment before his eyes roam over your face once again. “Okay, let's try to turn those not fluffy eggs into dough.”

With a soft chuckle, you nod toward the bowl, and Ransom growls low in his throat. He looks at you with narrowed eyes, but when you don't budge, he growls once again, rolling up the sleeves of his knitted sweater. He slowly reveals his muscular forearms with the prominent veins running along them.

“Drooling, aren't you, cookie? That's why you want me to touch this disgusting, slippery stuff here,” he says before kneading the ingredients to turn them into dough. You add a few more things every now and then, letting Ransom knead it the whole time while he mutters how wet and disgusting it feels to have the egg stuck around his fingers.

After a while, the two of you manage to get the dough done; it's finally in the oven, and you sit with your back against the counter to watch them growing in the warmth. In your hands you have a hot chocolate, or two, because Ransom is currently looking through some of the counters.

“What are you looking for?” You ask with a chuckle, watching your best friend intensely. He shakes his head, looking through another counter before he finds what he’s looking for. He turns back to you, hiding whatever it is behind his back while he sits down next to you in front of the oven.

“Close your eyes,” he mumbles, waiting for you to do as he says. You lean forward, placing the cups in front of you between your slightly spread legs, and close your eyes, turning your face toward him. “Now, open up, princess.”

You part your lips, listening to Ransom fumbling with some wrapping paper. A soft giggle escapes your lips as he sighs heavily. “Need help to open it?”

“No, now open up,” he says with a chuckle, bringing something to your lips. Before you have it completely in your mouth, you already know what it is — Ransom's favorite cookies. He pushes it halfway between your lips, bringing two of his fingers underneath your chin to lift it up and make you press your lips together.

Before you can say anything else, you feel Ransom's warm breath against your soft skin, and you. His lips are only inches away from yours as he brings his lips around the other half of the cookie.

“Wanted to do that for so long already, cookie,” he mumbles, biting as carefully as he can into the cookie until it's breaking and he can press his lips against yours. A soft sigh falls from your lips as you bring your hands around his neck to pull him closer. “Wanted to wait until our cookies were ready but couldn't focus on anything but you and your lips on mine, my princess. You're the sweetest, cookie.”

His lips press against yours once again, the cookies forgotten, because nothing tastes as sweet as you, and he would rather stop eating his cookies than stop kissing you.

Taglist: @rogersbarber @loki-laufeyson68 @etherealdisneyvillainness @winterschildren8 @pono-pura-vida @kimmie113080 @sergeantbarnessdoll @sebastianstanisahotmf @mercurial-chuckles @holylulusworld @randomawesomeperson102 @looking1016 @multiversefanfics @blackhawkfanatic @armystay89 add yourself.

#sydneysfluffywinter #fluff-star winter event #ransom drysdale x fem!reader #ransom drydale x you #ransom drysdale x female reader #ransom drysdale x reader fluff #ransom drysdale x yn #ransom drysdale x y/n #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale fluff #chris evans character x yn #chris evans character x fem reader #chris evans character x you #chris evans character x reader #chris evans character fanfiction #chris evans characters

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bweeeb · 16 days ago

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🎄Christmas collection

LONELINESS

THEODORE NOTT X READER

Part 1

Warnings: Angst, maybe too much drama, idk, use of Y/n for once here. Very short. Nothing too much. there will be a part two of this ok?

I hope this makes you sad like it made me while I wrote it.

* Theo might sound like an idiot here, but things get better I promise *

Summary: Christmas has always been your favorite time of year, but things are starting to go wrong this year.

The castle had never been as silent as it was that night. It wasn't surprising that the Slytherin common room was empty, or that the Great Hall was quieter than it had been all year, or that the snow-covered courtyards were devoid of any foolish students breaking a bone by jumping off a snow-covered stone. It was Christmas Eve, and the pitying glances of the teachers, and especially the smug looks directed at me, had kept me cooped up in the common room all week. I wasn't supposed to be here; I was supposed to be in Paris, or anywhere else, as long as he was holding my hand and pulling me along with him. Theo and I had made plans, but he'd simply vanished after hearing rumors that I was flirting with the Hufflepuff, Mason Mount. Since when is getting help with Potions class flirting? Anyway, Theo and I had argued, and the next morning, I'd waited for him, not having any idea he'd gone and left me here. I waited an entire day, wondering if maybe he'd just gone to buy some Christmas socks and those funny, tacky clothes we'd planned to wear on Christmas, but no, he'd just gone. He knew I had no one else, and yet he left me here on my first Christmas alone. It's not very nice when even the ghosts are talking to each other and making strange noises, and I haven't had a normal conversation with anyone in over 96 hours.

Sometimes I'd see a couple or two climbing the stairs, their faces lit up with joy at the peace the castle was exuding at this time of year. Sometimes I'd see students who were simply used to spending their Christmases alone, studying because their families didn't celebrate. But not me. My mom had always made sure that our Christmases were the most important event of the year. Dad would help me make cookies, eating them all before I could finish decorating them, while Mom played the piano. The fireplace was warm, and for three days, we'd sit on the fluffy white rug in front of it, a mug of hot chocolate in our hands and the tree lights twinkling as we played Christmas-themed guessing games. If I'd known that last year would be my last with them, I would have locked us in and stayed there forever.

I curled up further into the green leather sofa in the common room, watching the fire consume the logs. The common room was one of the coldest areas of the castle, and even though there weren't many windows, the cold wind seemed to dance through our hall. As stupid as it seemed to stay downstairs in this cold, my room was even colder, and the blankets I'd conjured with magic hadn't become warm enough. Mom had always told me that our magic was only as strong as our belief in the magic around us, so maybe that was why nothing was working very well. My pajamas weren't warm enough to keep me cozy, since my heavier winter robes were far away and had somehow gotten caught somewhere along the way, and even magic hadn't worked its magic.

Shivering against my own body, I snorted, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. The clock struck midnight, and a shaky sigh escaped my lips. I hated how ridiculous I looked now. The only group of three students passed by me. Even though it was late, the bedtime curfew on holidays was relaxed, so it wasn't unusual to see some of us out and about. They wished me a Merry Christmas and disappeared, leaving me there. Now that I figured hardly anyone else would show up, my tears streamed down my face like waterfalls as I buried my face in my arms, my knees drawn up to my chest.

Christmas wasn't supposed to be like this. At Christmas, there should be nothing but tears of joy, but it was so hard not to feel pain.

Somewhere between my crying and exhaustion, I fell asleep. I closed my eyes and no longer heard my sobs.

__________________________________________

Part two

#fanfic #theo fluff #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott angst #theodore nott imagine #harry potter #lorenzo zurzolo #harry potter x reader #theodore nott #Lorenzo Zurzolo angst #angst with a happy ending #theo nott x y/n #christmas #christmas imagine

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urdepressedslut · 2 years ago

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Stray (masterlist)♡

♡ Pairing: The Winter Soldier Fem!Reader/Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Series Summary: Just hours after the events in DC, you find The Winter Soldier unconscious, leaning against a gravestone in a cemetery near your home. Being sheltered you don't recognize who he is, and you care for him.

♡ Series Warnings: dark themes, heavy angst, fluff, vomiting, imprisonment, physical/emotional abuse, injuries, death, PTSD, hallucinations, self hate, murder, scars, violence, language, rituals, suicide, drowning, suicidal ideation, SLOW BURN 🔥

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | SERIES 18+

(SERIES ONGOING)

⇨ Chapter One

↳ Just hours after the events in DC, you find The Winter Soldier unconscious, leaning against a gravestone in a cemetery near your home. Being sheltered you don't recognize who he is, and you care for him.

⇨ Chapter Two

↳ Bucky takes shelter in your house, waiting for the storm to pass. He notices something a little off about you.

⇨ Chapter Three

↳ A glimpse into your past is shown. You and Bucky seem to be getting a little closer, maybe even starting to trust each other.

⇨ Chapter Four

↳ It’s the next day and both you and Bucky don’t want things to change. He doesn’t want to leave, and you don’t want him to.

⇨ Chapter Five

↳ Time has passed, things are going well. You and Bucky get along, respecting each other’s space. Not always creating conversation, but appreciating the company.

⇨ Chapter Six

↳ You run into someone from the past, no way this can be real? Bucky finds you in distress, and is there to comfort you.

⇨ Chapter Seven

↳ You finally open up to Bucky about some of your past, your bond starts to grow stronger.

⇨ Chapter Eight

↳ An unexpected visitor comes knocking at the door, both you and Bucky freak out. Tension between the two continues to rise.

⇨ Chapter Nine

↳ You can’t ignore the tension anymore, will you both give in to the hunger you both have for each other? Bucky knows what he wants, while you are unsure. You’re scared.

⇨ Chapter Ten

↳ You have another scare, clinging to Bucky for comfort. Later, you get another surprise visit.

⇨ Chapter Eleven

↳ You run into a familiar face, who tries to convince you that you are truly a monster. The pieces are starting to come together, and the reveal is terrifying.

⇨ Chapter Twelve

↳ Your true self is slowly being revealed, what is this place you've been sent to? What happens when you return home, will Bucky still be there— or will he run?

⇨ Chapter Thirteen

↳ coming soon.

#reader insert #marvel cinematic universe #fluff #marvel imagines #the winter soldier #buckybarnes #bucky barnes #dark themes #slow burn #dark fic #angst #mini series #heavy angst

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j-eryewrites · 6 months ago

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Left Behind When We Are In Need

Part Seven of A Sinner's Redemption

SERIES MASTER LIST | MAIN MASTER LIST

Previous | Next

Word Count: ~21.k

Author's Note: This chapter covers some pretty dark topics. Most of the events happen in canon, but I will still say it. Do not read this chapter if dark themes such as SA trigger you. I have put discretions above the sections containing these triggers to warn you again. I am not in charge and do not control the media you consume. Please read at your own risk. That being said, enjoy this extremely angsty and dark chapter.

*Note: I very briefly edited it, and it has not been beta read.

Trigger Warnings: Canon typical violence, gore, gun violence, descriptions of injuries, attempted SA, mentions of death, descriptions of death, depressive thoughts, fire, cults/religion, mentions cannibalism, cursing/language, creepy men, mentions of pedophilia

꧁_꧂

Numb, that's all Piper felt as she sat on the porch. The chill morning light kissed her skin, and the birds sang their good morning, yet Piper couldn't feel anything. She couldn't hear the sweet song or sense the loving caress of the sunbeams. She no longer felt cold, and most of all, she was no longer sick.

She was well aware of how illness worked. It was human to contract illness, but Piper didn't feel human. She was alive and breathing, for that she was sure. However, after the scars left by Joel's words and the wounds that reopened, Piper was in pain. Sure, humans felt pain, but not like this, Not pain that lasts for 17 years. Not a pain that only increases with each breath. Sinking deeper into the frozen porch, Piper clenched her fists. No, the pain she felt wasn't human. It was a message calling out to her, a consequence, and a promise. It was a promise of death. She'd been right when she told Joel. Piper was only made to kill, and she only knew how to kill. She was a killing machine, built to survive and destroy. She wasn't human. She wasn't sure she'd ever been one at all. Maybe once, she could have been through the love she held for her sister, but it was revealed to Piper as she lay bleeding in the snow that maybe Ellie didn't want her love. Maybe Ellie was just as hurt and angry as she was, and no amount of love would change that.

Deep in her depressive derailing, Piper could not hear the crunching of the freshly fallen snow underneath Tommy's feet as he crept away from his home, family, and life to the house across the street.

A huff of air fogged Tommy's view as he stilled, noticing the statue of Piper on the porch. Her cheeks burned a bright red underneath the wood-brown knit beanie atop her head. Where tuffs of long dark hair used to lay were now pinkened, freckled skin. Around her cheeks and eyes, dark purple and blue shades merged as if a child mixed watercolor paints together. Tommy frowned at the sight, taking care to slowly approach.

"How long have you been out here?" Tommy asked her once he reached the front steps.

Piper shrugged and stood up, swinging her backpack over her shoulder. The sound of Tommy knocking on the front door was drowned out by Piper's heavy steps as she descended the stairs and began her trek in the snow.

"Hey, wait," Tommy called out to Piper. Suddenly, the door flung open and slammed shut, revealing Ellie. Ellie hopped down and trickled after her sister, leaving a wide gap between the two. For a moment, Tommy could only stand and stare before he realized he was supposed to follow the girls and lead them.

The walk to the stables seemed longer than Tommy remembered it being. With how fast the girls were walking, he was sure he'd get there faster than he thought. Yet the silence and grim expression of the girls made the trek over exponentially longer. The cold bitterness of the winter's day slightly softened as they walked into the stables.

Hay and straw decorated the floor, and various saddles, ropes, and grooming tools hung along the wall. Tommy motioned for the girls to follow as he led them down the stables. Arriving at the last few stables, Tommy stopped and sighed, stepping back.

A scowl formed on the girls' faces upon seeing what stood inside the stables.

"You came here to say goodbye or something?" Ellie spat.

"No," Joel replied as he saddled up the horse. "I came here to steal one of these horses, probably two since there's three of us, and go."

"I woulda gave you 'em," Tommy told Joel.

"I know," Joel nodded.

"Anyway…," Joel turned to the girls. "…that was 30 minutes ago, and I guess… you two deserve a choice. I still think you'd be better off with Tommy…"

"Let's go," Ellie declared and stepped into the stable.

"Okay." Joel stepped aside and looked at Piper. "Piper?"

Biting her lip, she stared at Joel. A wave of emotions crashed over her. Joel was standing in front of her, saying he'd stay. The deeper his words sank in, the more her nerves began to work. She began to feel the sharp cold that stained her cheeks and clung to her head. The soreness of the bruises Ellie had left behind struck deep within her muscles. Piper began to feel again.

With her silence, Joel stepped forward. The light trickling through the wooden planks of the stables illuminated the bruises and minor cuts from Piper's hasty haircut. Suddenly, Joel's eyes became watery, and his heart sank deep into the pits of his guilt. How long had those bruises been there? Why didn't he see them? How could he have let it happen?

After a few quiet moments, acceptance filled Piper's being, and she nodded, unsure if her words would fail her. She was glad Joel stayed, but the night before had left its mark and made her bleed. A wound like that is not so easily forgotten or forgiven.

Joel couldn't help the soft smile that melted onto his face. Waving his hand, he led Piper into the other stall where the horse he prepared earlier was ready to ride.

"You good to ride on your own? Hard to fight three people on a horse," Joel explained. Piper nodded before placing her foot in the staddle and lifting herself onto the back of the steed.

"Hold onto both," Joel instructed, gently taking Piper's hands. Mm-hmm," he hummed when they were on the lead. Once she was on the horse, Joel led the creature out of the stall. Then he got Ellie onto the horse before turning to Tommy.

"General direction?" He asked Tommy.

"Head southeast till you hit I-25. It's right off the interstate. Shouldn't be hard to miss." The crease between Tommy's eyebrows deepened, and he drew his brother in for a hug. Patting his shoulder, Tommy pulled back. There's a place for you here… The three of you," he explained with as much sincerity as he could muster.

Joel glanced back at his girls. They were his girls. It was a fact he could no longer deny. "Countin' on it." Joel pointed to the rifle hanging over Tommy's arm. "Can I borrow that?"

Tommy followed his brother's finger and nodded. "Yeah."

"'Cause Maria took mine, you know?" Joel continued to persuade.

Chuckling, Tommy handed him the gun. "I already said yes, Joel." After a pause, he continued. "Adios, big brother."

"Adios," Joel said with tears in his eyes. He had found his brother. Tommy was family, but after last night, he realized. The girls, Ellie and Piper, were family too. They were his girls, and he couldn't leave them. While he trusted Tommy with his life, he knew he couldn't bear the thought of not being there for them if anything had happened. Maybe he could have done something to save them if he had just been there. So, as he led the horses out of the settlement, he didn't feel as sad as he thought he'd be saying farewell to his beloved brother. After all, he had found his girls. He had his family.

꧁_꧂

Tommy said they had a week's journey to the university, yet Joel wished the days were longer. For the first two days, as they rode, he had successfully taught the girls, mainly Ellie, how to whistle. The first consisted of the actual whistle, and the second was about whistling a tune.

Ellie was more than eager to learn after all her failed attempts over the months they had been together. On the other hand, Piper was much more reluctant about anything with Joel.

He had tried to ask about her hair after she removed her hat the first night, but he was met with a grunt in response. Then he wanted to help her pack her sleeping gear in the morning while she was busy with other things, only to watch her repack it all. He knew he screwed things up when he left her broken on the porch that night. He knew his words had cut deep, but he felt it was more than just him.

The bruises garnishing her face only seemed to worsen in color as the days went on. They seemed to be an uncomfortable topic for the girls, with flashes of guilt appearing in Ellie's eyes every time she glanced at her sister. However, what Joel thought was the worst of all was the silence. Ellie still talked to him and made jokes here and there. Piper never spoke. Words hadn't trickled from her mouth since that night. Not even a word was spoken between the two sisters.

Today, Joel decided to teach the girls how to hunt. Well, it was more of a shooting lesson, but the knowledge was still applicable to hunting. Piper decided on a more observational approach as she sat in the snow near Joel and Ellie.

Returning his gaze to Ellie, Joel adjusted her hands and nodded for her to shoot. A thundering wave of gunshots echoed over the hills. After the third shot, Ellie sighed and loosened her grip on the gun.

"Wide right," Joel noted as he pulled the binoculars from his eyes. "You're flinchin'."

"The target's too small," Ellie complained.

"I made it bigger than I should've." Joel instructed, "Eject the cartridge."

Ellie grumbled as she did as Joel told her. "…And I am not flinching."

Joel hummed, "Mm-hmm."

"The rifle just sucks," Ellie said upon finishing the task.

Taking the gun back, Joel peered over at Piper, "Why don't you take a break and let your sister try?"

"No thanks, I already know I wouldn't miss," Piper declared confidently, leaning back into her hands.

For a moment, Joel's eyes widened. She had spoken to him. "If you're so sure, why don't you show us?" Joel teased in an attempt to have more interaction.

Piper rolled her eyes and sank deeper into her hands before pushing off and reaching for the gun. Joel passed the weapon to her without a word, and she raised it to fire. Ellie peered over as Piper's eyes narrowed and her breath stilled. Her finger pinched back on the trigger. The gun fired. The glass didn't break. Piper pulled back in confusion as Joel chuckled.

"Did she miss?" Ellie yanked the binoculars out of Joel's hand and zoned in on the target. "You missed!" she gasped before pointing at her sister. "Piper missed!"

Piper grumbled and shoved the gun to the ground. "Ellie's right. The rifle's fucked up."

Joel bit his lip from laughing more. He stuck out his hand and motioned for the gun. "Okay, give it,'" he sighed. "It doesn't aim right. Mm-hmm. You'll see." He raised the rifle into position. "A deep breath in, slow breath out,' he explained, earning a leer from Ellie. "You squeeze the trigger like you love it. Mm. Gentle… steady… nice and slow."

"You gonna shoot this thing or get it pregnant?" Ellie grumbled as she peered through the binoculars. Joel smirked and prepared to fire.

"It isn't gonna work. It doesn't aim right," Piper mumbled beside him.

Joel pulled back the trigger and beamed as he heard Ellie curse, "You dіck."

Piper only huffed and bit her lip. It didn't matter that Joel had hit the target. She had missed. She hadn't missed in years, not since that night. Not since she first killed a man. She wasn't allowed to miss. She couldn't miss. Yet, here she was. Her shot had missed the target. Peering over at triumphant Joel, Piper understood why. Even if he had hurt her and left her on the cold winter night, she was safe with Joel. Joel became home after months with him on the road, fighting for their lives. Joel became family. Frowning, she continued to grumble; even if Joel was family, he had to work to apologize. He had fucked up, and he wasn't going to get away so easily.

After Joel decided his bragging rights had been overused, he told the girls to pack it up and return on the horses. As Ellie begrudgingly trudged away, Joel called out to Piper.

She turned her head to look at him. "What?" She asked with hands in the pockets of her orange coat.

Reaching into his coat pocket, Joel pulled out a small book, brushing off some lint before handing it to her.

Piper hesitantly took it. She flipped it over and read the cover. It was white and frayed along the edges, as paper does with time. " Tiny First Aid Guide," she read. She raised it with confusion on her face.

Joel stood up and brushed the snow off his pants. "I found it in the room I stayed in. No one was using it. I thought you might like it, so you can start saving someone and not, you know…," he awkwardly smiled.

Piper felt blood rush to her face, and a soft, grateful smile appeared. With her fingers, she traced over the cover. "Yeah, I know. Thanks, Joel." Joel nodded in response and watched Piper walk over to her horse, holding the book tightly. Her head looked down as her brown eyes quickly scoured over its contents. With each word absorbed into her brain, Piper began to forgive Joel a bit more.

꧁_꧂

Question after question followed as Joel, Ellie, and Piper rode along. Ellie's curiosity bubbled to the surface once she realized Joel was willing to answer her questions. Piper, however, hummed along, listening as she directed her horse after Joel.

"So the way they ran things in Jackson was how things used to be?" Ellie wondered, remembering every aspect of Jackson: the Christmas tree, the movie, the communal relationship, the homes, etc.

"No," Joel smiled as he shook his head. "The country was too big for that. Back then, there were two main ways of lookin' at things. Some people wanted to own everything."

"Mm-hmm," Ellie nodded, adjusting her grip to hold Joel tighter.

"And some people didn't want anyone to own anything at all," Joel continued.

"Which one were you?" Ellie asked. She leaned over to look at Joel, trying not to fall over.

"Neither. I just did my job." Joel shrugged and glanced behind, noticing Piper's sudden interest in her book. She'd been reading it as she rode. The horse she sat on seemed to understand that it needed to follow Joel, allowing her the time to scan the pages of her first aid guidebook. He turned back around, proud of himself for the gift.

"Which was…," Ellie trailed off as her brain recalled her previous conversations with Joel. "Building?"

"That's right," Joel acknowledged. "Houses, stores, that kinda thing. We were called contractors."

Ellie smiled and cleared her throat. Deeply, she said, "The Contractor," as if it was a superhero name from one of her comic books. "That's pretty cool."

"Yeah. We were cool," Joel shrugged. "Everybody loved contractors."

"Nice," Ellie hummed.

The conversations continued one after the other. In one conversation, Ellie chose to ask about movies and television, questioning which ones were Joel's favorite. This led them down the path of football. Joel claimed he didn't watch much TV except for the Sunday games.

Ellie's brows pinched together as she tried to make sense of the game. "Okay, so if you mess up your fourth down, then you give the ball to the other team?"

Joel nodded. "Right. It's called a turnover."

"Turnover," Ellie repeated. "But if you make it to 10 yards, then you're back to first down?"

"Yep."

"So," Ellie concluded. "Basically, just moving in one direction."

"Basically…," Joel agreed. "But violent."

"Oh, well," Ellie sarcastically said. "There's that."

Up ahead stood the I25 sign. Joel glanced around, checking if Piper was still following. Stopping his horse, he announced, "Well, how 'bout that? Made it in five days. Easy days."

"I don't know what Tommy was so afraid of," Ellie noted.

"Still time to find out," Piper mumbled as she continued to walk her horse past Joel and Ellie.

"Still time to find out," Ellie mimicked.

The road went on for what seemed like forever. Snow covered the ground, but small tufts of dried grass poked out here and there. In the distance, stood tall mountains encasing a city that grew larger and larger the longer the road. As they entered the city, the snow traded for dead leaves and forgotten cars. Rusted signs led them to the university campus.

"Home of the Big Horns," Ellie read as they approached the sign. "What does that mean?"

"Team mascot," Joel explained. "It's a kind of sheep."

"Oh, see?" Ellie playfully nudged Joel's side. "One step closer to your dream."

"Don't see any Fireflies, though," Piper noted, stopping her horse beside Joel and Ellie's.

"They're probably in the middle," Joel said. "Safer."

"Uh-huh," Piper replied. "Sure."

"This way," Joel nudged his horse and led them down the road deeper into the campus.

"So these places…," Ellie began as the towering brick buildings surrounded them. "People would live here and, like, what? Go to classes and stuff?"

"Yup."

"Even though they were adults," Ellie questioned.

"Sort of adults," Joel explained. "I think it was just as much about partying and findin' themselves as anythin' else. Figuring out what they wanted to do with their lives."

"What they wanted to do with their lives," Ellie whispered before chuckling, remembering Joel's dream of a sheep ranch.

"So I've been thinkin'," Joel began.

"Mm-hmm?" Ellie hummed.

"I don't want a sheep ranch, actually." Ellie peered at Joel. Meanwhile, Piper stole a quick peek away from her book. "I mean, if the deal is I can do anything?"

"That's the deal," Piper recalled.

"Well… when I was a kid," Joel said, "I wanted to be a singer."

Ellie was unsure what she expected Joel to say, but it sure wasn't to sing. Her grip on Joel loosened as a bout of laughter overcame her.

"Shut up," Joel's cheeks flushed red. "Why is that funny?"He grumbled.

Finding a momentary pause in her giggles, Ellie swatted his arm. "You gotta sing something now."

"No," Joel shook his head.

"Come on, man. I'm not gonna laugh," Ellie promised. "Any singing will be better than Pipers."

Piper whirled around and sent Ellie a glare, who grinned in response. Joel made a mental note to ask Piper about the singing later.

"You're already laughin'," Joel observed.

Ellie agreed, "Yeah, okay, true. Well, you're singin' for me later. I'm gonna save the fսckin' world, man. It's the least you can do for me."

Joel weighed his options and shrugged. "Fair enough," he said, looking over at Piper. "What about you, Piper? Do you have any requests once you help save the world?"

At Joel's words, Piper grew quiet, and her eyes cast down. "No…," her voice shook. "No, I-"

"Are those monkeys?" Ellie squealed, pointing over to where a horde of monkeys was running across the stone stairs.

"Must be from the old labs," Joel muttered, slowing his horse.

Ellie laughed, watching the monkeys fumble over themselves. "Look at them go."

"First time seein' a monkey?" Joel raised his brow.

"First time seein' a monkey," Ellie replied for both her and Piper.

Joel smiled, directing his horse to return to the original pace. Up ahead, he noticed a bright yellow symbol covering the faded university signs. He'd recognize that symbol anywhere: the Fireflies.

"Look-it," he uttered, nodding his head to the sign. Piper and Ellie followed his gaze.

"Here we go," Ellie whispered to herself. Anticipation boiled in her blood as they approached the building that housed the Fireflies. She was so close. So close to making a cure and saving the world.

However, as the horse approached, Ellie realized the campus was too quiet and empty for a group of Fireflies to be there. "Guard stations," Ellie said, noticing the empty stations.

Joel frowned before bringing the horse to a halt. Hopping off, Joel grabbed the harness and tied it around a tree before helping Ellie down. Next, he helped Piper secure her horse.

"Mm. No guards," he noted, looking around. He began to walk with Ellie in tow. It was a few paces before he noticed Piper's absence. He turned around and saw her standing beside the horses. Her gun in hand.

"I'm gonna stay and watch the horses," Piper announced.

Joel sighed and began to walk back. "You're comin' with us."

"No, if the Fireflies are in there, then I'll come in. Besides, someone has got to watch the horses." Piper cocked her gun. "I can handle myself."

Biting his lip, Joel found himself nodding his head. "Okay. We'll be back."

Piper scoffed. "You better."

Turning around, Joel motioned for Ellie to follow him in. Together, they entered the building. Paper was scattered all over the floors. Dirt, grime, and mold clung to the once-white walls. Forgotten glass bottles and display cases created a maze along the floor.

Ellie and Joel glanced around the room, looking for any sign of life.

"There were definitely doctors here," Ellie said, picking up some test tubes.

Joel wandered over to Ellie, noticing a brown file on the turned-over cabinet. "This is a packing list—something you make before moving," he explained.

"They just left?" Ellie's brows furrowed.

In the distance, a loud clang of metal echoed throughout the halls. "Maybe not all of them," Joel whispered, readying his rifle.

The clanging continued to call Ellie and Joel deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the science building. Nudging a door open, they discovered some of the monkey's from earlier banging against metal cabinets. Upon sensing their presence, the monkeys screeched as they fled from the window.

"Well… at least it ain't Clickers," Joel said.

"Yeah, no Fireflies either," Ellie added in disappointment. "Maybe in all that research, they turned into fսckin' monkeys."

Joel slowly blinked his eyes, watching Ellie begin to fiddle with the cabinets and kick random bottles along the floor. In the back of the room stood a board with numerous red pins. Joel stepped closer, his eyes narrowing at what he discovered: a map.

"That's where they went?" Ellie asked from behind Joel.

"All the pins lead there." Joel's finger traced the mass gathering of pins on Salt Lake City, Utah. "Maybe gettin' ahead of the weather… better facilities?" Joel suggested. "I don't know."

A harsh whisper from outside the window made the two of them freeze. Joel quickly snuck to the window. Beneath him ran a group of men, all armed. They headed towards the entrance of the science building, to the horses, and to Piper.

"This way," one raider loudly announced.

Another raider whacked his back, "Shut the fսck up," the raider hissed, causing the other to cough.

" Out the back," Joel whispered, trying to silence his steps as he ran down the hallway and stairs. He just hoped he could get to Piper in time. She could handle herself. He knew she could, but he would never forgive himself if something happened.

"Ready?" Joel turned to Ellie as he creaked open the back door. The horses and Piper were visible, but the raiders were nowhere in sight. Joel sighed. They could get out without being spotted.

"Yeah," Ellie nodded. The two crouched down as they sprinted over to the horse.

Piper stood by the horses, whirling around, when Joel whispered her name. For a moment, she raised her brow in confusion when she saw Joel and Ellie's crouched position until she realized why. There was something here—something dangerous.

As Joel and Ellie made their way over, Piper hastily untied the horses from the tree. She handed Joel his horse's bridle and quickly jumped on hers. Her horse grunted as it made a turn, adjusting back to its rider's weight.

"Come here. Come here. Come here," Joel soothed the horse as he instructed Ellie to hop on. "I got ya."

Once her horse was still, Piper noticed another figure. She raised her gun and screamed, "Joel!"

Joel didn't waste time ducking as Piper fired her gun, shooting the raider in the arm and making him drop the metal baseball bat he had swung moments earlier. A river of curses fled the man's mouth.

The sound of Piper's scream and the commotion startled Ellie's horse. The horse screeched, kicked its front legs up, knocked its head, and removed Joel's grip. Ellie cried out, trying her best to hang on.

In the raider's moment of weakness, Joel twirled him, sliding his arm around the man's neck. The curses soon exchanged for pleas and gasps of air as Joel choked the man. The raider's punches grew weaker until he tightened his grip and twisted. A sickening crack filled the air, and the raider dropped dead.

Ellie's horse had stilled when the commotion had died down, and Piper lowered her gun. Despite his heavy breath, Joel caught sight of his girls' horrified expressions. Slowly, his eyes trailed down. His shirt was wet. It wasn't wet before. The worst was the knife impaling his torso. He was positive that had not been there. Joel yanked it out of his body while the adrenaline still pumped through his veins.

The girls' terror only grew as they saw the group of raiders rampaging towards them. "Joel! Get on the horse!" the girls screamed."Get on the horse!"

"Joel!" Ellie cried, extending an arm to help him up. With a grunt, Joel sat upon the horse. He flicked the bridle and forced the horse into a gallop.

"Get him!" The raiders yelled. "Go!"

"Get back!" Piper growled before firing her gun and taking out another raider.

"Shit!" The raiders snarled as they watched another one of their comrades fall. "You mοthеrfսckеr!"

Joel, Ellie, and Piper ignored their curses and hurried their horses. They ran and ran until the border of the university and city was no longer visible. The gigantic buildings were exchanged for train tracks and a suburban neighborhood.

"They're not following us. I think we're safe," Piper breathed, looking behind her.

"Joel? Joel, no, no, no! shit!" Ellie cried as Joel's once-tall figure leaned over and toppled off the horse.

Panic flooded Piper as she fumbled off her horse and over to Joel and Ellie.

"Fսck! Joel? Joel? Shit. Joel, open your eyes. Open your eyes." Piper's hand felt Joel's wound. Pulling her hand up, she discovered it drenched in blood. Fighting the urge to puke, she wiped his blood on her coat.

"Joel, you gotta get up," Ellie begged. Her eyes were beginning to water to a point it was hard to see.

"I can't fսckin' do this without you. I don't know where the fսck I'm going, what the fսck I'm gonna do," Piper trembled as her hands shook Joel. "Joel. Please. Joel, please."

Joel did not answer. His eyes did not open, yet his chest still rose and sank. It was something. Fighting more tears of her own, Piper sniffled. "Ellie, help me get him up." Ellie was too lost in her fear. "Ellie!" Piper shuddered, snapping Ellie out of her panicked daze. "We need to find someplace to stay."

"Where?" Ellie whimpered.

Piper whipped her head around and spotted what seemed to be a neighborhood in the distance. "Maybe there. Looks like a neighborhood." Placing a hesitant hand on Ellie's shoulder, Piper comforted her as best she could. "He'll be okay. We'll be okay."

"How? He got stabbed." Ellie blubbered. "Piper, Joel won't wake up. How is that okay?!"

"I don't know," Piper felt her anxiety flutter to the surface. "But…but I'll figure something out. I always do. Just, come on."

Piper stood up and placed her hands under Joel's shoulders. Ellie placed her underneath his feet. Together, the two girls lifted him with all their might and put him onto the horse. Using her coat to secure Joel to the animal, Piper hopped on the horse, telling Ellie to ride the other.

Piper ignored the cold winter day that nipped at her skin. She ignored the stain on her pants from Joel's leaking wound. Her mind focused only on getting somewhere safe and saving Joel. She had to save him. She meant what she said in her terrified state. She couldn't do this without him. If this occurred months before, Piper would have been fine, but not now. Joel was her home—Her dad. She'd be damned if she was going to lose that after she fought so hard for her family. Piper had to be strong for Joel, like he was for her, and most of all, for Ellie, even if her sister didn't want her strength. If it were the last thing Piper would do, she'd ensure Joel and Ellie made it out.

꧁_꧂

The horses weren't content with the heavy thud of the garage doors. They squealed in discontent, making it difficult for Piper and Ellie to drag Joel off the animal. Piper was grateful the garage could hold the horses. Not only was it cold, but having two live creatures hiding outdoors was a calling card for bad things. If the raiders did decide to come after them, the horse would be the first thing they'd look for.

Joel groaned as his weight sank into the concrete floor of the garage. It felt as if a needle pricked every inch of his body as the blood slowly regained passage to his limbs. With hushed apologies, the girls lugged Joel up the stairs and into the remnants of a home. Trash and debris littered the ground and caught on Joel's feet, halting the girls’ movements every few steps until they could clear the floor. Sweat oozed from Piper and Ellie's skin as they withdrew into the basement.

Ellie argued a bed or a room would be best for Joel. Piper disagreed. It was easier to be attacked and cornered in the room. Besides, they had yet to learn if something resided here. The basement made it more accessible to hide in and guard. After they caught their breaths, the next step was to pull Joel down a long flight of stairs.

Each step left a dull ache in their hearts. Anxiety filled their lungs, and exhaled into the air. Piper swore the air only got thicker and thicker the more they breathed, making her lungs sting. Sweat threatened to drip into their eyes, but the girls refused to wipe it away. They refused to let go of Joel.

Their muscles burned as soon as Joel flopped to the floor. His face scrunched up in pain, and he twisted in turn, increasing his pain. Piper dropped beside him, feeling his head. It was wet and just as sweaty as hers, if not more. Suddenly, she didn't feel hot anymore; she was cold. Every inch of her froze.

"Ellie," Piper whispered. "Go upstairs and find a mattress or something for Joel to lay on."

Ellie huffed a breath of air and wearily nodded before trudging upstairs. It wasn't long before she returned with some worn couch cushions. They had an ugly floral pattern embossed onto them, but Piper did not care about their appearance. The cushions were soft and got Joel off the cold, hard floor.

Placing the cushions on the ground, the girls lifted him and put him onto them. Again, their muscles screamed, but they ignored it. Instead, the girls honed in on the blood that continued to pour out of Joel. Lifting his jacket, Piper got a complete picture of the wound. Joel's once dark gray shirt was now a wet black. His blood seeped into the girl's skin and stained the pages of Piper's book as she yanked it out of her coat pocket and flipped through the pages. Her eyes were wide as she scanned the page.

"It's said to bandage and put pressure," Piper read. "Something about antibiotics, too."

Ellie furrowed her brows, trying to understand, but opened them quickly once she heard the sound of fabric ripping. Piper grunted as she tore off a large strip of her shirt, and gathering the fabric, she carefully lifted Joel's blood-soaked clothes to tie it on.

"Ellie, help me lift him," Piper said as one arm snuck under Joel's shoulder and the other prepped the fabric. Ellie copied her sister's actions, and together, they lifted his chest just enough for Piper to wrap the fabric tightly around Joel. After some rustling, a wet squelch, and a whimper from Joel's mouth. The fabric had been secured. "Put pressure," Piper repeated to herself. Her hands hovered over the wound, the makeshift bandage already turned red from Joel's blood. She gulped, took a deep breath, and, with shaking hands, pushed down on Joel's wound.

A guttural scream burst out of Joel. His back cracked, arching up as his eyes flew open. He tossed around fighting off Piper's attempts to place pressure on his injury. Ellie closed her eyes as she helped fight Joel's panicked movements off.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," Ellie said as a mantra. Her muscles demanded she release Joel, who fought with all his might.

"Come on," Piper begged, feeling her cheeks grow wet. From blood or tears, she wasn't sure. "You gotta help me. Come on."

Suddenly, Joel's movements stilled, and his pupils fluctuated as he peered at the girls. The fog that had overcome his mind briefly faded as the knowledge of their situation hit him. He was bleeding out, and they had been attacked by raiders who could still be after them. His girls were terrified, and he could do nothing about it. Finding the strength to pull the girls in, he gasped, "Leave. Leave"

"Shut up, Joel." Ellie trembled.

Joel shook his head and continued. The pain in his gut grew more and more. "Take the gun." He felt a tear on his cheek. It wasn't his.

"Joel shut the fuck up!" Piper cried.

"You go. You go," Joel heaved. "You go north. You go to Tommy. You go."

Then he let them go and fell back down. He watched them. He watched as they sat, crying. There was so much more he wanted to say. He tried to tell them so much if only there was time. But life wasn't fair. It never was, especially not for Joel Miller, but he could at least give them a fair chance. So when they huddled back, trying to help him, he mustered all the strength he could and pushed. He pushed them away so that they might have all the fairness in the world, The fairness that Joel never got. As he watched them pull themselves off the floor and trudge up the stairs, he felt his cheeks grow wetter. Except this time, these weren't the tears of his girls. They were his own. If the world were fair, they'd stay, and somehow Joel would make it out. If the world was fair, they could be a family, and maybe Joel could tell them they were no longer cargo and that perhaps they never were. But that's different from the way the world worked, especially not for Joel Miller.

Cold crept into his bones and threatened to freeze his tears—a permanent reminder of what he could have had and lost. In the dim light of the basement, Joel stifled his cries as he heard his song fade away, and in his silence, his dream became clearer. He sat on a porch with the late afternoon summer sun on his skin, in the distance, fields of green and yellow home herds of sheep. From beside, he hears laughter and giggles. Beside him sit his girls, Ellie and Piper. Ellie's reading jokes from her stupid book. Joel won't admit some of them are funny. He smiles as he watches Piper roll her eyes and fight off a smile. He knows Piper's just like him and won't admit she's fond of Ellie's puns. At some point, the jokes end, and the girls look up at him. They smile and get up. Joel knows they're going to leave. They are going to fade along with him and the dream. The dream will end any minute, and the girls will be gone. Except they don't leave. They come closer.

Now Joel no longer shivers. He opens his eyes, and there are his girls—Ellie on his left and Piper on his right. She cleans his wound with a cloth and a bowl of some liquid. It stings, but not as much as the tears leaking from his eyes. His girls. They came back.

Beside him, Piper muttered to herself the words of the page. Her hands were covered with Joel's blood, but the color had lightened. She'd done her best to clean her hands. That's what the book said, and she was reading it now. It was telling her how to stitch a wound. She hadn't sewn someone up before. She'd mended clothes for herself and Ellie, but those were clothes. Those could tear and fall apart, and she'd be fine, but this was Joel. Joel couldn't fall apart. Joel couldn't leave her, so Piper had to do this right.

Collecting the remnants of courage left in her body, she took her lighter and heated the needle she and Ellie had found upstairs. Once the needle seemed hot enough, she threaded the string through the top, biting her lip as her finger brushed by the heated end. The string went through. Piper took a breath. Her eyes met Ellie's, and she nodded. Her hand lowered, and she began to sew. The needle threaded in and out of Joel's skin, leaving him gasping for air. Except this time, Joel didn't fight. He stayed still and cried, listening to Ellie and Piper's hush sorries. But Joel's tears weren't from the pain. His girls had come back. The world could be fair for Joel Miller. Maybe for a little bit.

꧁_꧂

EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING IN THIS SECTION! READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

They had found her in the morning; it was easy to tell her apart from the crowd with the blood that covered her body. She was guilty. There was no doubt about it.

As she stood before the compound's officers and leaders, Piper realized. No one could protect her. Levi was gone. She had killed him. Now, Piper was alone to fend for herself.

No one listened when Piper begged them to. He had tricked her and trapped her in that room. She had come to him for help. Ellie was sick and cold. The cold was deadly at night. Piper didn't want her sister to die, so she asked for help. Late at night, she'd snuck out of her room and found Levi. She asked him for another blanket. She felt relieved when he'd said yes, but that feeling was soon replaced with dread when she heard his following words.

"For a price," Levi smirked and locked the door. "I need something in return if I'm going to keep helping you like this."

The next thing she knew, she was on the floor. Levi was above her. In her terror, she did as any 12-year-old girl would do. She fought. Then he held down her arms and legs. So, she battled with the one thing she had left—her teeth. Levi leaned in close, and she tore at his throat. Blood seeped into her mouth and tainted her tongue. She bit and bit until there was nothing left to bite.

Piper pleaded with the officers to understand, but they could not. All they saw was a body of one of their own—a vacant spot that needed to be filled before them stood a body—a body that could be put to use, a body of a young girl that could be molded into one of them.

No one cried any tears when the twelve-year-old received her verdict. If she were old enough to kill, then kill, she would do. Once the decision rang out, it was swept under the rug, along with the bodies and lies. Piper wished she could cry. She wanted to cry, but everything was numb.

When she got back to her room, Ellie asked. Of course, Ellie asked why her sister had been taken out of the room at dawn. Looking down at her sickly sister, Piper felt her throat grow dry. There was nothing to say. She couldn't tell her sister. How was she supposed to when her mind was still trapped in that room? How was she supposed to explain it to her sister? Instead, Piper crawled into the bed beside Ellie. As Ellie fell back asleep, Piper promised to protect her sister. To never let her see the horrors of the world as she had. It was a promise never to leave. A commitment to follow her anywhere. A promise to be her sister no matter what.

Piper's head pounded as the afternoon sun rose high in the sky and broke through the room window.

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

She'd never let anyone in again. She'd be strong enough for herself and Ellie. That's all that mattered now. She and Ellie. Ellie and her.

꧁_꧂

"You thirsty?" Ellie hoarsely asked, reaching for her water bottle.

Across from her sat Piper. Her hands shook as she traced the indent of the needle on her fingers. She succeeded. She'd sewn up Joel's wound, and the blood had stopped. Piper sighed and wiped her forehead. The sweat along her body grew cold.

Water trickled from the edge of the water bottle into Joel's mouth. He eagerly drank it before his throat closed, causing him to choke and cough. Ellie's eyes widened, and she quickly pulled the water away. With worry, the girls lean over Joel. They watch his breath settle as he sinks deeper into the cushions. As they watched, his eyes grew heavy, and their own eyes' weight was felt. Adrenaline had left, and there was a yearning to sleep in its absence.

Placing the water down, Ellie slowly lowered herself onto the floor beside Joel. Her head rested on his chest, and her eyes closed. Piper fought the tiredness as long as she could before she caved. She lay beside Joel and let sleep take her. As the girl's breath synced with sleep, Joel inched his arms around them. He pulled them closer off the cold floor. With a trembling hand, he brushed his finger through Ellie's tangled hair and, with the other, ran his hands over Piper's head. His fingers ran smoothly over her short pixie. Joel cracked open his eyes for one last glance at his girls before returning to his dream.

꧁_꧂

Grumbles from Ellie's stomach were what awoke her from her slumber. Her eyes were still heavy even after the sun had gone down and returned. She groaned as she sat up, noticing the weight of Joel’s arm around her back. Looking to the other side, Ellie saw Piper reading the first aid guide in the corner. Her orange coat was zipped up, and her beanie was shoved onto her head.

“You hungry?” Piper asked without looking up from the book.

Ellie nodded before standing up and looking for her bag. Opening it up, she found not a single crumb. “Anything in your pack?”

Piper shook her head and placed the book down. “Nothing in Joel’s either.” Brushing dust and flakes of blood off her body, Piper continued. “We need to eat.” She watched as Ellie followed her path to Joel.

Carefully, Piper lifted Joel’s shirt and the bandage to check the wound. Instead of pinkened, angry skin, a white ooze surrounded the injury. Ellie gagged at the sight and glanced away as Piper cursed.

“It’s infected,” Piper said.

Ellie whirled her head around. “How do we fix it?”

Piper furrowed her brows. “Um, medicine. Antibiotics and shit.”

“Where’re we supposed to get those?”

Piper shrugged as panic rose in her voice. “ I don’t know, maybe…upstairs? Fuck, Ellie, I’m tryin’ my best here.”

Ellie bit the inside of her cheek, pushed onto her feet, and marched up the stairs. “Come on.”

“I’m gonna be right back, okay?” Piper whispered into Joel’s ear. She stood up and took a few steps before she glanced back. Returning to Joel’s side, she grabbed his rifle before scrambling up the stairs after her sister.

The two of them scavenged every single cabinet and corner. Nothing was to be found. As their search continued, so did their curses to the world and god, even if they did not believe in him. It was someone to blame, and that was enough for them.

Lastly, the girls made their way to the garage. The horses’ ears perked up as the garage door opened and closed. Piper and Ellie walked over to their horses, giving them pets and pouring water into a bucket. The horses greedily drank the water, splashing some droplets onto the ground.

Sighing, Piper reached for Joel’s rifle, which was slung over her shoulder. She opened it up and checked the bullets. Her hands swiftly shut it and returned it to its original place on her arm. “I’m gonna go find us something to eat.”

Ellie turned around and glanced at her sister. “Can I come?” She pulled out her gun, showing Piper.

Piper shook her head and walked to the garage door, pulling it up. “I need you to watch Joel,” she said as she stepped outside into the morning sun. She gulped, took another step forward, raised her hand, and began to pull the garage door shut again.

Suddenly, the garage clanged as Ellie resisted her sister’s attempts at closing it. “Where the fuck is he gonna go?” Ellie pleaded. “Piper, I…if Joel dies…”

“He’s not going to die,” Piper growled and pulled the garage down with more force, causing Ellie to wince from the pain. Piper froze and let go of the garage door. “Ellie, I’m s-”

“If he dies, I don’t wanna be here.” Ellie grew quiet. “I don’t wanna watch him die.” She peered up at Piper with watery eyes.

Piper bit her lip and groaned, caving in. “… alright,” she said.

꧁_꧂

With guns raised, the girls left the house. They twirled around, covering their corners, until they realized nothing was there except them and the bird song. Taking a deep breath of fresh air, Piper sighed. Her eyes closed as her skin soaked in the morning sun.

"Piper," Ellie grunted, using her eyes to point toward the nearby forest.

The elder sister narrowed her eyes on the evergreen trees and valleys of snow. Then she returned her gaze to the neighborhood—cars with flat tires, forgotten RVs, and doors hanging on their last rusted hinges. This place was looked over. There would be nothing here for the girls and nothing here for Joel. She turned back to Ellie and nodded her head, telling her to lead the way.

Ellie had to admit the forest was beautiful. Snow clung to the grooves of the tree bark, painting the dark a bright white. Deep, vibrant green pine needles littered the snow-covered ground as if they were the freckles of the earth. Even if the forest was pretty, the snow and pine needles made it hard for Ellie to spot any animal tracks. Ellie stopped looking a bit closer at the ground and noticed Piper doing the same.

The two of them repeated Joel's instructions as they tried tracking any animals. Rabbits, deer, birds were looking for anything at this point with how their stomachs rumbled.

Piper continued to walk around the forest until she felt Ellie slap her side. Turning around, she scowled at her sister, who rolled her eyes and pointed down the hill. Piper moved her head to follow Ellie's directions. In between two fallen trees and surrounded by brush and weeds poking through the white snow was a rabbit. IItsfur was a faint shade darker than the color of the ground. Piper smiled and raised her gun to shoot the creature. Ellie watched as Piper pulled back her finger. The gun fired. The rabbit jumped and scrambled away.

Cursing, Piper bit her lip, drawing blood from her chapped lips. She turned to her sister, but Ellie was already gone, chasing the animal. Her tiny feet trudged through the snow, sinking deeper with each step. With one more step, Ellie was knee-deep in the snow and crashed to the ground. Ellie groaned as she lifted her head covered in snow.

Piper carefully approached and helped her sister, pulling her to stand. "Come on," Piper nudged. "Let's keep going."

Grumbling, Ellie brushed off the snow and followed Piper, stepping in her sister's footprints as they went deeper into the forest and farther away from Joel. Soon, the trees grew sparser, standing tall and farther apart from the next. The sounds of snow tumbling off tree branches and screeching birds were the only things heard besides the girls' footsteps in the snow. Suddenly, a branch cracked, and a soft sound of repeated clicking was heard. Piper gulped and placed her hand in front of Ellie. She raised Joel's gun and slowly stepped closer to the sound. Ellie drew out her pistol and followed.

They tuned their ears into the clicking, and turning their heads in the direction of the sound, they found a stag. Although it was small in stature, the creature made up for it with the sheer size of its antlers. They were majestic as they sharply rose into the heavens. The deer hadn't seen or heard the girls as it was too distracted munching on some forest shrubbery.

Creeping as close as they could, the girls snuck behind a fallen log. Piper readied the rifle only to freeze upon gazing at the creature. Its dark eyes are filled with only one desire: survival. She swallowed her spit. Piper had failed to shoot the rabbit. She could not risk failure anymore, not when so many were counting on her. Taking a deep breath, she sat back and handed the gun to Ellie, who frowned but took the gun. Ellie settled down low and cocked the gun back. In an instant, the gun had been fired, and the deer toppled to the ground. As fast as it had fallen, the deer had risen again to run off in the opposite direction.

"No fucking way," Ellie spat as she stood up, chasing after it.

Piper spat her own cursing string as she followed her sister and the deer. Ellie had shot when Piper couldn't. As Ellie continued to run, Piper found herself slowing. Ellie had shot the deer. All by herself. Maybe she didn't need Piper anymore. Maybe Ellie would realize this and leave; leave Piper all by herself. Shaking the thoughts from her mind, Piper reprimanded herself. It was just hunger. It was only hunger.

Once the girls had tracked the deer and ran out of the clearing, they froze and raised their guns. There, before them, stood two grown men standing over their deer. They were armed, and that's all Piper needed to know before firing a warning shot. The men's gaze shot to the girls.

"Don’t! Drop your rifles!" Piper yelled. Ellie pulled Joel's rifle closer, ready to shoot. The men were hesitant to drop their weapons. It wasn't until the one with red hair nodded that the two lowered their guns. "Now!" Piper demanded, "Turn and face me… Slow. If you make any sudden moves, I will put one right between your eyes. Ditto for buddy boy."

The redhead smiled and raised his hands slowly to the sides of his head. "You’re quite a hunter. We didn’t even hear you coming," he gently spoke. "Both of you."

Piper clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes. She felt sicker than she had been when she was ill. Something about the man's voice made her ears ring and her lungs tense. It was as if her lungs refused to breathe air shared by whoever this guy was. She didn't like it.

"Turn around and walk away," Ellie growled orders of her own.

"Okay," the man said again, stepping back and nodding to the other. The other man shrugged his head and followed. Ellie frowned.

The snow beneath the men's feet didn't crunch fast enough to ease Piper's nerves. "Just go!" She barked when she realized their progression back had stopped.

"Okay," the red-haired man muttered. "All I ask is 10 seconds of your time. I just wanna talk."

Piper cocked her gun and shot another warning. The bullet grazed a nearby tree, making the men jump in their boots. "I won’t say it twice," she growled.

"Please. Just 10 seconds," the man spoke. "My name is David. This is my friend, James. We’re from a larger group: women, children, and we’re all… very, very hungry." He motioned to the dead deer near his feet.

"We're from a large group, too," Ellie announced. "Also hungry."

"Well, even so…" David began pointing to the two of them. "Ya can’t drag this back on your own."

"Thank you for your concern, but I think we've got that covered," Piper hissed. They kept inching closer to the girls. Her eyes darted to their feet. If they stepped one more time, she'd shoot them both in the head.

"We’re not asking for charity. We-we can trade you for some of the deer," David begged. "We have– What do you need? We have… boots."

"Medicine?" Ellie blurted. "Like, for infections."

Piper's attention was snapped away from their feet as David spoke. "We do. Back in our village. You’re welcome to follow us."

"We're not following you anywhere," Piper stated. Her feet dug deeper into the snow, securing her stance. "Buddy boy can go get it. He comes back. You get half the deer. Anyone else shows up, I put one right betw–"

"Put one right between my eyes," David finished with a chuckle.

"That’s right," Ellie said.

"All right," David agreed before turning to the other man. "Go talk to Howard. He’s got a case with some penicillin. Bring back two bottles and a syringe. It’s not code, James. Do as I said."

The man, James, hesitantly looked between David and the two armed girls. Each of them bore a fire in their eyes he'd only ever seen described in the bible. The eyes of the devil, of a killer.

"Ten steps back. Keep going," Ellie instructed James, carefully watching him as he backed away to fetch medicine.

It felt like forever as James sunk deeper and deeper into the forest. Piper was sure he'd sneak around them and attack from behind, but it never came. Still, she and Ellie stood on guard, their guns trained on David.

"That’s your dad’s gun?" David asked, pointing to the rifle in Ellie's hand. "He's the one that’s sick? That’s why you’re out here on your own?"

"What's with all the fucking questions?" Piper snarled.

David's posture caved upon hearing Piper curse. It was almost as if she was offended by her language. "Well, look, uh… it’s a four-mile round trip back to our settlement, he began. "It’s gonna be… a while before James gets back. I have some oil and matches in my pack. We could… take shelter, start a fire."

Piper's eyes narrowed. "We can handle the cold. I'm not sure about you." Ellie shifted beside her. Piper turned to look at her sister. Ellie's burned a bright red, and snot trickled down her nose. Her sister was cold. "…Fine," Piper agreed after a moment. She used her gun and pointed in the distance to a nearby shed. "There," and then waited for David to move.

Once David took his first step, Ellie demanded, "Bring him with us." David looked back and frowned, confused. Ellie pointed to the deer and repeated herself, "Bring him with you." David reached down and grabbed the antlers. "Go," Ellie continued.

She trailed behind David, the rifle ready to fire at the earliest sign of danger. Piper was in tow, tightly gripping the guns James and David had dropped in the snow.

Soon, they reached the shed and had David start a fire. The fire crackled and snapped as the flames consumed the firewood and other kindling. The heat from the fire reached underneath the girls' coats as they sat across David, who sat on the ground. While their guns no longer stood tall in the air, their hands never left the cold, smooth surface of their weapons.

"You know," David said with a smile as his eerie blue eyes flickered back and forth between Piper and Ellie. "You really shouldn’t be out here all on your own."

"Who said we were?" Piper scoffed. The flames illuminated the grim stare embedded in her dark eyes. The purple circles coloring her eye sockets only increased the darkness David found in them. Ellie, on the other hand, was warm. Her eye sockets were free from any darkness, yet her eyes still held a deadly stare, more somber than her sisters'. "From where I’m sitting, you shouldn’t be out here on your own," Piper scolded.

"Fair enough," David shrugged, trying to hide the shiver that covered his body. "So what’s your name? It’s hard to trust strangers. I know. But I honestly mean you no harm."

"I call bullshit," Piper hissed under her breath. She was right. It was getting harder to breathe around David.

David sighed and peered up at the girls. His voice was full of pity. "…For what it’s worth, there’s room for you in our group if you want."

"You’re inviting us to your Hunger Club?" Ellie rolled her eyes. She didn't need this suddenly profound pity David had mustered. She and Piper have never needed anyone's pity. It was worthless in the world the outbreak had created. "No thanks."

"It’s true. We’re hungry," David chuckled. "But… we’re still here…I’m a decent man just tryna take care of the people who rely on me."

Piper frowned. "You’re their leader?" She asked in disbelief. She eyed David up and down, and her frown only deepened. He wasn't a leader. Not in the way Joel, Tess, Tommy, and Maria were. No, he seemed weak yet confident. Piper was unsure where this confidence got assurance from. His people were hungry, and if they looked anything like James, then his people were also sick. Hunger does things to the human mind. It grows fragile and naive in search of comfort and food. Piper knew it well. The QZ would do it to punish the kids. Revoke daily meals, and the kids will start speaking a different tune. It unnerved her.

"Wasn’t my choice. It was theirs," David explained. "But… yes."

"They chose to follow you,” Ellie repeated as a thought formulated in her head. It seemed she and Piper were on a similar wavelength. "Is this some weird cult thing?"

"Uhh," David blushed. "Well, you sorta kinda got me there. I am a preacher, but just pretty standard Bible stuff."

"What?!" Ellie snickered the moment the bible was mentioned.

"The whole world ended, and you still believe that shit," Piper mocked.

"I started believing after the world ended," David corrected. He adjusted his seat to make himself appear taller and more prominent, but to the girls' he was just as small as ever, if not even smaller than before. "Before that, I was a teacher," David said, and a glimmer appeared in his eyes. Piper's breath stilled. She wasn't sure if it was a trick of the light or what, but she swore a flash of desire shone in his eyes when he said that. What was worse, his eyes honed in on Ellie. "Math. Taught kids about your age," he noted, pointing to Ellie.

"So you went from teacher to preacher because," Ellie scoffed, "what? It fuckin’ rhymes?"

David grinned and shrugged as if it was the funniest joke he had heard. "Yeah, exactly."

"But seriously," Ellie said, awaiting David's actual answer.

"Well," David sighed, beginning his story.

The more he spoke, the more Piper realized where the unease with David came from. His eyes, the look they held whenever he looked at Ellie, she had seen before. It was the same look Levi had in his eyes that night. The longer Piper thought about it, the more she realized Levi had always had that unsettling gleam in his eyes.

"I found God… after the Apocalypse," David continued. "Which is either the best time or the worst time to find Him, hard to say. But when the Pittsburgh QZ fell in ’17, Fireflies and FEDRA… I left with a few others, and that’s how I ended up with our flock."

"Long way from Pittsburgh," Piper said with a low voice. Her defense screamed at her to pick up the gun and shoot David. But she couldn't. Not when he had medicine that could save Joel.

David chuckled again. "Yeah, we’d settle somewhere, and then raiders would come, so we’d move again. And as we wandered, we picked up new people along the way until… we ended up here." He looked around the shed before settling on Ellie.

"Well," Ellie said, "your luck had to run out sooner or later."

"Hm? Luck?" David raised his brows and shook his head. "There’s no such thing as luck. No," David inched closer to the fire and, in turn, closer to the girls. "I-I-I-I believe everything happens for a reason. It does. I can prove it to you."

"Okay." Ellie urged him on.

"We didn’t expect this winter to be so cruel," David explained. "Nothing’ll grow. Game’s been hard to find. So I sent four of our people to a nearby town to scavenge what they could. And only two of ’em came back. One who didn't come back was a father. The other was a husband. The father had a daughter just like you. And her dad was taken from her. Turns out, he was murdered… by this crazy man." David hid his sneer under a smile as he looked between the two girls. "And get this. That crazy man… was traveling with two little girls."

Piper's eyes widened as she heard some of the shed's floor creak behind her. She jumped out of her seat. Gun raised, pointing into the forest. Her eyes narrowed, and she stilled her breath. While her body remained calm and controlled, her mind was on fire. An array of curses and fears swarmed each thought. These were the raiders. She'd killed one of them and Joel the other. With the glint in David's eye and the fury of the land, Piper knew one thing. Revenge was guaranteed.

Ellie stood alongside Piper, her gun trained on David instead of the vast forest, awaiting her sister's order.

"You see?" David continued. “Everything happens for a reason." Then, looking out into the forest that drew Piper's attention, he calmly called out. "James, lower the gun."

Suddenly, James appeared with his gun held high, trained on Piper. Piper let out a guttural breath and stared down James. Her finger hovered over the trigger. "They're the ones that killed Alec, aren’t they?"

David stood up with his arms raised. "The girls didn’t kill anybody," David assured. "Lower the gun."

James scoffed and prepared to shoot Piper. "She's the one who killed Desmond. The boys told me he got shot by a girl who looked like a boy. That's her."

"Drop it," Piper growled, and James ignored her, hardening his expression. "I said to fucking drop it. Unless you want a bullet to find a new home in your skull."

"Did you bring the medicine?" David calmly asked James.

James' expression broke upon hearing his leader's voice. "Yeah, but–"

"Throw it to her."

"David," James pleaded. His hand itched to shoot and kill Piper. However, David's stern demand did not falter, and James sighed. Reaching into his pocket, he tossed Piper the medicine.

With ease of breathing, Piper snatched the medicine out of the air. A syringe was taped to the side of the small glass bottle. She glanced down and pocketed the medicine before returning her gun to James.

"Back away," Ellie growled.

James slowly made his way around the girls and found a stance next to David. David handed him an extra gun in his pocket, but David didn't take it. Instead, he began to talk again. "I know you’re not with a group. You won’t survive for long out there. I can protect you," he assured.

"I'll take my chances," Piper snarled as she slowly began to back away. Her eyes never left David and James. Ellie mimicked her sister's movements until they were far enough away for the shed to be the size of their thumb.

James watched as the girls stopped and turned, entering a sprint. He scoffed, turning to David. "So you’re just gonna let them get away?"

David shook his head. "Patience, James," he assured. "God rewards those who wait."

꧁_꧂

It was stupid to run in the direction of Joel, but Piper couldn't care. They had the medicine, and Joel needed it more than Piper's desire to lead David and James astray if they decided to follow. Showing them the direction was one thing, but as the snow squashed beneath her feet, another thought soon overpowered her need to save Joel. Their footprints. They would lead David and his band of fucked raiders straight to them.

The air around her fogged up as Piper slowed her pace. "Els," she hissed, worried that David and James may be able to hear her.

"What?!" Ellie turned around to look at her sister.

Piper dug into her coat pocket and tossed Ellie the medicine. "Here, get back and give this to Joel."

Ellie's brows pinched together as a low level of panic boiled to the surface. "Piper, what are you-"

Her older sister had already moved on to her next task. Marching over to a nearby evergreen, Piper jumped on the lowest branch. A clean snap filled the air as Piper tore off the branch and swiped at their footprints. "I'm covering our asses, that's what."

Ellie's stare switched between the vial of medicine and her sister, who was hard at work erasing any trace of their footprints.

"What the hell are you still doing here?" Piper laboriously wondered. The small pine needle scratched at the ground, diminishing any sign of the girls.

Snapping herself out of her daze, Ellie tightened her grip on the medicine and ran. Worry filled her being the farther away she got from Piper. She was leaving her sister alone. David, James, and whoever was out there could come after them. They could be coming now, and she had left her sister alone. Her only thought of respite was Joel. If she could save Joel, he could save them. That's what he did. He always saved them.

The house appeared before Ellie's vision faster than she thought it would. Her legs burned as she darted into the house and down the stairs to Joel. Desperate pants left her mouth as she collapsed beside Joel. With shaking hands, she lifted the blanket off of him. Then, deftly peeling up his shirt, she winced in disgust. The wound seemed even more infected than it had been before. Sweat beaded on her forehead and trickled down her brows as she handled the antibiotics with as much care as possible. A new wave of panic filled her once the syringe was filled to the brim.

"Ah, okay," she said, wiping away the sweat threatening to cloud her vision. "The fuck do I put this? Alright, what would Pipes do? Uh…" Ellie glanced around the room and spotted Piper's blood-coated first-aid book. Scrambling over, she snatched it up and flipped through each page. There was nothing about injections and antibiotics.

"Fuck," she cursed and crawled back over to Joel. "Joel? Joel? Joel, where the fuck do I put this?" Joel lay unresponsive. A layer of sweat and grime coated his skin, making his dark skin appear pale. "Fuck it," and with one swift motion, she stabbed the syringe directly into the sewn-up wound.

Joel groaned. His eyes tensed but never opened despite the immense pain his body was in. Once the syringe had been emptied, Ellie withdrew the needle before debating giving him another injection. Shaking her head instead, she carefully wrapped the needle and medicine and placed them into Joel's bag for safekeeping.

She watched Joel's tense expression soften and sighed, feeling a wave of exhaustion fall over her. She had run. For how long, she didn't know, but she had run. Her whole body ached: her legs, her shoulder from the kickback of the rifle, her back, and her head. Everything hurt, and she was tired. She was a little girl who only wanted to curl up beside Joel and fall asleep into a beautiful dream of a sheep farm on the moon. So, that's what she did. She snuggled up close to Joel, pulling the blanket over them, and sank deep into sleep.

By the time Piper had reached the house's front steps, her orange coat had been removed and tied at her waist. Her shirt was soaked with sweat from disguising her and Ellie's footsteps. Groaning, she wiped away the last of Ellie's prints and opened the garage before tossing the branch with the horses. With the garage door closed, Piper slid to the floor and took a moment to breathe. One of the horses trotted beside her, sniffing her hair before deciding to try to nibble on it. She couldn't help the giggle that escaped her mouth as she brushed the horse away.

Standing up, Piper pulled off her coat and threw it over her shoulders, not placing her arms through the sleeves due to the heat her body was still disposing of. She'd done her best removing any sign of where the girls went, but the knowledge that David and James knew the direction they had gone in and the footprints from before she began her bluff that they could trace and track. She prayed that they were enough to keep them safe. At the very least, to give the girls time to recuperate and Joel time to heal.

Her feet felt heavy as she stepped down the stairs and into the basement. "Ellie, did you…" Piper's voice trailed off when she saw the scene before her.

Ellie's chest softly rose and fell. Her arms were wrapped around Joel, who looked better than he had ever had since the injury. A soft smile melted onto Piper's features, and she quietly stepped down the rest of the stairs.

It felt colder in the basement, so Piper placed on the rest of her coat, zipping it up. Carefully, she picked up Joel's rifle and tip-toed over to the basement window. Sitting beneath it, she cracked it open, just enough to hear the world outside but not enough to invite the cold in. Leaning up against the wall, Piper rested her head on the wall and closed her eyes, Not to sleep but to relax. Piper had no time to sleep, especially if predators were hunting them.

꧁_꧂

Voices cascaded over the ground like the morning fog. Piper's eyes shot open as a wave of footsteps and grumbles grew closer and closer. Her blood ran cool, and her skin paled as white as the snow. It was David, and he brought company.

They were too far away for Piper to make out anything they said, but that didn't matter. Securing Joel's rifle over her shoulder and pocketing her pistol, Piper shuffled over to Joel and Ellie.

"Ellie," Piper hissed, shaking her sister awake. "Ellie, wake up."

Ellie's eyes flew open, and her lungs gasped. "Piper?"

"They're here," Piper anxiously explained. "They found us."

Ellie gulped and looked down at Joel. Placing her hands on his shoulder, she shook him. "Joel! Joel, wake up. Joel, wake the fuck up, Joel," Ellie pleaded.

Joel's eyes shot open, and he darted around the room before settling on the girls. His mind was still in a daze, making it difficult for him to process Piper's words.

"Okay… okay, look at me." Piper turned Joel's face to look at her. "There are men coming, okay? I’m gonna lead them away from you, but if anybody makes it down here, you fucking kill them. You got it?"

Joel's eyes slowly closed, causing Ellie to snap her finger loudly next to his ears.

"Joel, do not fall asleep," Ellie demanded, but it was useless. Joel's eyes closed, and he returned to his sleep.

Piper pushed herself off the floor and began to hike up the stairs when a pair of footsteps accompanied her.

"What are you doing?" Piper asked.

"I'm coming with you," Ellie replied.

Piper shook her head and walked her sister back down to Joel. "No! Ellie, I'm serious. I need you to stay with Joel. He's…he's fucking out of it. I need you to make sure no one makes it down here."

"I'm not letting you do this alone," Ellie desperately said.

"No! Ellie," Piper commanded. "Just fucking stay. Or you'll get us both killed. Stay with Joel. Protect him until he wakes up. I'm gonna lead them away and kill'em. Stay here."

"No-" Ellie began, but Piper shut her down.

"I didn't ask you," Piper growled. Her voice grew dark and dangerous, warning Ellie to back down. "You're staying." In the blink of an eye, Piper shoved Ellie to the ground and darted up the stairs. When Ellie got to her feet, the stairwell door had been shut and barricaded.

Ellie pounded on the door, tears in her eyes. "Piper! Let me out!" She cried. "Pipes! Fuck!"

Fighting the tremble in her voice, she spoke to her sister through the door with clenched teeth. "I'm doing this for your own good."

Without another word, Piper readied Joel's rifle and snuck out the back door. A sigh of relief escaped her once she realized the horses had stayed quiet. With the silence of the late morning, Piper crouched down low. It was up to her now. She couldn't miss. She had to keep Joel and Ellie safe. She had to lead them away.

Her first thought was to take them into the forest, but she knew they would expect that. They'd only send so many men after her and keep the rest in the neighborhood. Instead, Piper chose to lead them deeper into the neighborhood, away from Ellie and Joel. Recalling her faint memory of what the rest of the neighborhood consisted of, Piper remembered a school. She could lead them there. Like a forest, the hallways and classrooms would provide a vantage point to take out the group quietly. That's if Piper was brilliant. The problem there was getting the group into the school. She had to make them think that's where she was staying.

Sneaking around the backyards of the homes that littered the street, she crawled onto a fence and into one of the yards. On the ground lay a rusted ladder. Glancing at it, Piper realized she could sneak onto the roof. It was the perfect place to shoot them down one by one. Maybe she didn't have to lead them to the school.

Pulling herself up the ladder and onto the roof, Piper crawled across the tiles until she spotted the group. David walked into the center with James on his right. There were eight of them. Each of them were armed, all except David. He pointed to the homes on the right and started barking orders.

Preparing the rifle, Piper lay down and peered through the scope. Her sights were on David. She could pull the trigger and kill him right then and there, but then she'd have a pack of revenge-hungry cultists after her. She smiled. That's exactly what she wanted. Kill the leader and then lead the whole group to the school, where she'd pick them off one by one.

Steadying her breath and focusing on David, she pulled back the trigger and fired. There was a cry as the gunshot echoed off the homes. A raider fell, soaking the snow a dark red. But it wasn't David. Piper cursed. She shot the man behind him. Hurriedly, she got ready to shoot again. Her head was down low as she prepared to fire. A cool, sharp whisk of wind flew by her head. She whirled her head around.

"Shit," she snarled. They'd found her. Getting up from her spot, she heard them fire a few more shots as she crawled off the roof.

"Get her! Remember, alive!" She heard David scream as thundering footsteps ran in her direction. She pulled herself over the fence and ran. The school, she kept telling herself, away from Joel and Ellie. She had to keep them safe.

When she heard the raider reach her old spot, Piper had circled the back of the neighborhood. She could see David, James, and one other man.

Piper scoffed and snuck closer, preparing a shot. "It's their own fucking funeral," she whispered to herself.

A horse's shrill filled the air as she readied to fire again. Piper froze as the body of a horse ran onto the street. It wasn't the horse that terrified her—it was the person who sat on the back of the horse.

"Hey, motherfuckers!" Ellie yelled. She shot her gun a few times, taunting the raiders.

David and his group ran after her. Piper bit her cheek, drawing blood. "Fuck," she cursed and ran after her sister, who was half-hazardly firing her gun from atop the horse.

"Shit!" A raider screamed after a bullet grazed his skin. Then, they began to fire at her and the horse.

"Fucking hell, Ellie." Piper's speed picked up, and her breath grew labored.

"Go! Let’s go," James yelled as he motioned for some people to follow him.

"Alive!" David shouted over the chaos of it all.

"Keep comin’, fuckers!" Ellie teased.

Piper continued to run. Her feet blurred as she ran on the pavement, not caring to hide behind the cars and homes. All thoughts of the school were gone. Ellie was out. They had seen her, and she was taunting them to come closer. With each fire of their guns, they got closer to stealing Ellie away. Piper's heart pumped faster and faster. She had to save Ellie. She couldn't let them get her sister. She had to-

A gun fired, and the horse fell to the ground, sending Ellie flying to the ground.

"I got her!" James triumphantly yelled.

"Ellie!" Piper's voice cracked. Raising her gun to fire, she didn't care if she missed. She had to get them away from her sister. She had to get David away. "No, no, no," she breathed, watching David pick up her sister and cradle her in his arms.

Suddenly, a searing pain shot through her leg. Piper screamed and clutched her thigh, feeling the blood trickle out. Her ears screeched as she tumbled to the ground.

"Got the other one!" A raider announced from behind her. He stepped up to her side, yanked the weapons out of her hand, and kicked her in the chest just for good measure.

Piper gasped and clenched her teeth to stifle her cry of pain. She wouldn't give the fucker the pleasure. The pain flooded her, making it hard to notice anything around her. Suddenly, the sun's gaze was blocked by a shadow. Worn leather boots stepped up to her face.

Peering up, fighting the tears in her eyes, she saw David holding Ellie. He smiled down at Piper and brushed away some stray hairs on Ellie's face. Piper groaned and spotted her pistol just beside David's foot. She pulled her hand away from her bleeding leg and reached before James stepped up and kicked it farther away.

"Everything happens for a reason," David muttered.

"If you fucking hurt her," Piper growled. "I'll-"

David nodded, and then her world went black. A dull pain traveled from the base of her head, encasing her in darkness.

"Shhh," David whispered to Piper. "Everything will be alright. You're in God's hands now." Then, turning to the group, he began giving out instructions. "Two of you with me. Drag the horse. The rest of you, stay here. Go door to door. Are you so hungry for vengeance? Deliver it."

The men didn't need another word as revenge and rage flooded their souls. With a sickening grin, they readied their weapons and began their search. They were determined to find the man who had killed one of their own. The girls would be dealt with on David's accord, and only God'; would save them.

꧁_꧂

Something inside Joel forced him awake. It was a whisper tickling the back of his mind. Gently, it eased his eyes open. The location of the basement dimmed the light of the sun that fought its way through. Flickering its way down to the concrete floor, the light touched particles that bounced in the air. They shimmered as the air flew them around.

In his daze, Joel's dark eyes followed the dust as they captured the sun's light. A soft smile crept onto his face. The sun's light reminded him of his dream. It was such a good one. One he hoped to make real—him and his girls. Just as fast as the smile had come, it had faded into something more grim. His girls.

The whisper in his mind grew louder and louder. Words that were once fumbling together now became apparent. "There are men coming, okay?" He heard Piper's voice as it struck away the fog clouding his mind. "I’m gonna lead them away from you, but if anybody makes it down here, you fucking kill them. You got it?"

Joel nodded to an empty basement, and his face paled upon realization. The girls were gone. He shot up, wincing from the pain in his stomach. The guns were gone. The familiar colors of Ellie's purple and Piper's orange coats were replaced with the wooden walls of the basement. His girls were gone.

A cool metal burned his skin, causing him to look down. Ellie's knife. He'd recognize it anywhere. She never let it leave her sight. It had been a gift from Piper. Joel's grip around the knife tightened. His girls. Where were they?

A cloud of dust fell down the ceiling, catching more of the sunlight. Joel froze before looking up. The floor above creaked as footsteps pounded down. Whoever the steps belonged to was trying to be quiet, but they were heavy on their feet—almost sluggish, Joel noted. His girls' footsteps didn't sound like that. Ellie held the weight of her feet on her toes, and her step was springy.

On the other hand, Piper's step was silent. It was almost as if she floated above the ground with how she walked. Joel knew his girls, and whoever was above wasn't them.

The footsteps stilled momentarily, and then a screech was heard as something dragged across the floor. It was an unmistakable noise. Close to the door. Joel stifled his groan as he stood up to a standing position. Clutching the knife close to his body, he quickly scanned the basement for a place to hide. Creeping into a dark corner, Joel held his breath and waited.

Footsteps descended the stairs. Joel heard the heavy breath of the invader, and the shakiness of his hands at the gun he held rumbled between his hands. The man had crept deeper into the basement, flipping around for any sign of Joel. With his back turned Joel saw his chance. He pounced on the man, wrapping an arm around the man's neck.

He struggled and fought Joel's grip, dropping his gun to favor his hands. They beat against Joel's arm before coming to a still once a sharp blade pierced his jugular. The man fell weak and turned to look at Joel, who drove the blade deeper. Blood squirted out, spraying all over Joel's hands. As the man fell, his weight dragged Joel down with him, and with a deadly grin on his face, the man died.

Joel released his grip on the blade and yanked it out of the man's neck. Blood pooled out of the wound and spilled onto the concrete floor. Joel groaned as the wound on his side sent flashes of pain along his body. His lungs wheezed and craved the restful slumber he had before, but now wasn't the time for slumber. Piper wouldn't have let this man get into the basement. He'd seen how she killed that boy. He'd seen her fight. The only way she'd let it happen was if she was gone.

He knew now what happened. Joel understood from the footsteps outside the basement that his girls were gone. These people had come to hunt them. If it were a hunt they wanted, he'd give it to them. He'd get his girls back.

꧁_꧂

The floor was cold and uninviting when Piper woke up. A chill rolled through her body quickly to be replaced with pain. In waves, it rippled from her thigh, roaring as it left echoes of agony in its wake. Her breath tensed as the pain reached her chest. Hastily, she clutched at her head and leg to ease it. That's when she felt it, the coarse cotton of a bandage. Peering through the sweat and tears, Piper saw her leg neatly wrapped up. She felt around the bandage and almost immediately regretted her decision, biting her lip to stop the cry of distress that thrashed within her.

"I started worrying you wouldn’t wake up." A ghostly voice said.

Whirling around, Piper caught sight of David. He stood outside her cell with a smile on his face. Piper scowled as she took in her surroundings. A chain-link fence tied the walls together, trapping her in a cage.

"Don't worry, it was a clean shot. The bullet went right through," David noted, pointing to the leg Piper had been clinging onto.

"Where's my sister?" Piper asked. Her voice seemed alien to her with how hoarse and dry it was. It was as if she was speaking on the edge of death.

David folded his arms across his body and looked down at Piper. "She's safe with us," he assured her, and his smile grew large upon seeing Piper's reaction. "You'll see her soon."

Piper lunged at David, only to be stopped by the fence. She violently shook it, causing the room to erupt in a screeching fit. "Let me out, you fucker." Piper screamed.

"Well, that’s certainly the goal," David chuckled.

Feeling another spasm of pain from her leg, Piper collapsed to the floor. "Why am I in a cage?"

Crouching down to her level, David answered. "Because I’m afraid of you. You’re a dangerous person." His eyes slowly looked Piper over, leaving trails of goosebumps over her skin. "You’ve certainly proven that. The others, they want me to kill you for all that’s happened. Did you hear me say the others wanna kill you?"

"Yeah," Piper coughed, her original voice poking through.

"But I stopped them," David added and leaned in close as if he wanted Piper to be grateful and get on the floor and beg for forgiveness.

"I don't need your fucking protection," Piper snarled before spitting into David's face. She watched as David's smile faded.

With jerky motions, he flicked her spit off his cheek. "Well…," he said, returning to his terrifying gentle expression. "Why don’t we just start with your name?"

"Buster Hi-Man," Piper smirked.

Something in David snapped, and he lunged for Piper but stopped before reaching the fence. "Hey, listen to me!" He yelled. "You can’t survive on your own. No one can. But I can help you. Let me protect you."

Piper growled at David, and through clenched teeth, she corrected him. "I’m not on my own."

"Right," David scoffed. "Your friend. And how is he? I can see how much you care about him, so I know it hurts. But even so…" he looked at her leg and sighed. "You gotta face reality. That part of your life is ending. And what I’m offering you is a beginning. But if you can’t find a way to trust me… then, yes, you are alone."

"Fuck you," Piper hissed. She couldn't let David see how deep her words cut. Joel was out there. She had left him with those monsters. She had let them capture Ellie. She had failed. She had failed Riley. She had failed Tess. She had failed Henry and Sam. Now, she has failed Joel and Ellie. She had failed, and now she was truly alone.

"Everything happens for a reason," David muttered with a smug smile. Pushing off his feet, he stood up and walked to the door of the room Piper was being held in.

"Where the fuck is my sister?!" Piper roared.

"Like I said," David said, peeking over his shoulder. "She's safe. Maybe she'll be smarter than you. I can keep her safe. I can protect her, unlike you. Ponder what I've said."

With that, David was gone, and Piper was alone. Piper had failed, and now she was alone.

꧁_꧂

Joel had hunted. It was easy to take out the two other men who were after him. With one swift bang of the butt of the rifle, he had knocked them out and tied them up in the living room of the house he and the girls sought safety in. He'd find his girls and bring them home.

The first man was a denier. He pleaded with Joel as he brought his hand to his face, beating him over and over. If the man wouldn't speak, Joel would tear it out of him.

"Stop… stop. Please," the raider begged as Joel punched him again. A sharp groan escapes his mouth.

Joel withdrew his hand and reached for Ellie's knife. In doing so, he saw the other man awake. With a threatening smile, Joel raised the knife for the other man to see.

"Leave him alone," the other demanded.

Joel ignored him and instead tuned into the raider before him. He kept spouting the exact words. "Please… I don’t know any girls," he cried. Joel clenched his jaw and stabbed the knife deep into the man's thigh before twisting it. "Oh, fuck!" The raider screamed as his body involuntarily squirmed.

"Jesus!" The other raider whispered, alerting his fellow man to his presence.

"Marco," the raider called out, leaning his back to catch a glimpse of his partner.

Joel snatched the raider's head and yanked it forward, forcing the man to look at him. "No-no, no-no-no. He can’t help you," Joel used the knife to point to himself. "You focus right here. Or I’ll pop your fuckin’ kneecap off." He placed the knife at an angle to do just as he said. The tip of the knife dug under the skin, and the raider whimpered.

"She’s alive," the man confessed. "Both of 'em."

"Where?" Joel growled, leaving the tip of the knife embedded in the man's knee, but he didn't answer. Joel's body tensed as the urge to live up to his promise became stronger and stronger. But today wasn't the day Joel would fight his violent urges. His girls were gone. Whoever was with these men took them, and Joel would get them back. He pulled the knife back and stabbed it back in, lifting it.

A raw scream erupted from the man's throat. "Ah, fuck! Fuck! Ah, the town!" He shrieked.

It wasn't enough. None of the answers were enough. He pulled the knife with as much force as he could muster. "What town?!" He roared in the man's face.

"Silver Lake," the man whimpered, and Joel twisted the knife. "Ah! It’s not a real town name. It’s a resort," he exclaimed.

"A resort?" Joel asked. The man didn't respond fast enough, so Joel twisted the knife further into his knee and leaned in close. "You’re gonna point to where we are… and where your “resort” is. And it better be the same spot your buddy points to," Joel warned.

Taking the knife out of where it impaled the raider, Joel shoved the knife's handle into the man's mouth. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a map. Carefully unfolding it, he held it open for the raider and awaited his answer.

With a trembling head, the raider used the knife to point to a location on the map. "Okay," Joel muttered, marking the spot in his mind.

"…That’s where we are. I swear. Go ask him. He’ll tell you. I’m not lying," The raider explained.

Joel stood up and removed Ellie's knife from the man's mouth. He nodded as his mind absorbed the raider's words. They were to be his last. Within the blink of an eye, Joel drove Ellie's knife into the heart of the man. The blade twisted as the man's life slowly faded from his eyes.

He had died faster than Joel liked. The more pain he could give these men, the better, but that required time. Time his girls didn't have, so he had to settle for a swift, bloody end. Pulling the blade out, Joel marched over to Marco, who scrambled to escape.

"No… no!" Marco cried. "Shit! Jesus! No! Why the fuck did you do that?! He told you what you wanted!"

Joel wiped Ellie's blade and carefully placed it in his jacket pocket. Then he picked up a pipe he had taken from one of the raiders. The metal felt light as he flipped it in his hands. Then he sauntered over to Marco, who resorted to cursing out Joel.

"You motherfucker. Fuck you. I ain’t tellin’ you shit." Marco spat at Joel.

"It’s okay…," Joel coolly said. "I believe him."

He raised the pipe in the air as if praising the heavens above. Then, allowing the weight of gravity to take over, Joel brought the pipe down. Marco didn't have time to scream his god's name before his face resembled a dirtied bowl that not even the devil would use.

꧁_꧂

Ellie snickered to herself about her captors' stupidity. They had put her in a cage with a window. While the window was too tall for Ellie to reach on her own, her captors kept a bucket in the cage. Flipping the bucket upside down, Ellie placed it under the window, stepped up, and jumped. Her hands caught the bottom of the windowsill. Grunting, she bent her arms in an attempt to pull herself up.

It failed, and Ellie was no longer laughing. Maybe her captors were more competent than she thought. Hearing footsteps outside her prison door, Ellie pushed herself up and pulled the bucket away from the window. By the time the door flung open, Ellie had shoved herself into a corner far away from the bucket and window.

"It's good you're awake," David greeted. Your sister woke up a while ago," he mentioned as he pulled a chair to Ellie's cage.

Ellie's head shot up and ground her teeth together. "What the fuck did you do to my sister?"

David smiled and waved off her aggression. "She's fine. You know, my people," he added. "They wanted to kill her. She killed two of our men. It only seemed fair, but I stopped them. I protected her. I can protect you, too. How are you feeling?"

"Eat shit," Ellie growled before tucking herself as far as she could go into the corner.

David smiled before looking to his side. He picked up a bowl and slid it through Ellie's prison bars to her. "Here, this is for you."

Ellie glanced at the bowl and scowled, but it soon faded with the look of pure horror. Beyond where David sat lay a bloodied ear. Ellie glanced down at the bowl of soup containing chunks of thick meat. She felt sick.

"For what it’s worth," David added, "this is just deer meat. I swear."

"You’re gonna chop us up into little pieces," Ellie accused.

Shaking his head, David replied. "I’d rather not. Please, just tell me your name." She refused to answer. She wasn't giving this fucker her name. "If you wanna judge me–"

"Judge you?" Ellie shouted from the top of her lungs. as she kicked the bowl out of the cell. The glass shattered as it hit the wall. "You’re eating people, you sick fuck!"

"Yes," David agreed with a soft voice as if he was trying to quiet Ellie. "There are only a few of us that know. But I would’ve told you. Sooner or later. I guess sooner,' he shrugged.

"You’re an animal," Ellie hissed.

"Well, yes, we all are," David said. "That’s sorta the point." With a deep sigh, David continued. "It was a last resort. You think it doesn’t shame me? But what was I supposed to do? Let them starve? These people who put their lives in my hands, who expect me to keep them safe, who love me?"

Ellie scoffed. "Yeah, maybe."

Stepping closer to the cage, David adamantly shook his head. "You don’t believe that. I don’t think your friend would either. Didn’t he take another man’s life to save yours?" Ellie turned away. She couldn't bear to look at the monster anymore. "What about your sister? She took two men's lives. She did it for you."

"They were defending themselves," Ellie refuted.

"They were defending you. But you knew that. You see a lot. So do I. And you know what I see when I look at you? Me. You remind me of me," David stated. Ellie wanted to throw up. "You’re a natural leader, you’re smart… loyal. Violent."

"You don’t know anything about me," Ellie replied.

"But I do," David corrected. "If I let you out of that cage right now, put that knife of yours in your hand, you’d stick me in a second. You have a violent heart. And I should know. I’ve always had a violent heart. And I struggled with it for a long time. But then the world ended, and I was shown the truth."

"Right…," Ellie rolled her eyes. "…by God."

"No. By Cordyceps," David said. Ellie's brows pinched together, and she turned to look at David. "What does Cordyceps do?" David continued, having caught Ellie's attention. "Is it evil? No. It’s fruitful. It multiplies. It feeds and protects its children, and it secures its future with violence if it must. It loves."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Ellie's feet had pulled her closer to the bars of her cell. Her hand wrapped around the cool metal and squeezed it with the image of David's neck in her mind.

"Because you can handle it. The way the others can’t. They need God. They need heaven. They need…," David paused and looked at Ellie. Cautiously, he approached her. "They need a father. You don’t. You’re beyond that. I’m a shepherd surrounded by sheep; all I want is an equal. A friend."

Ellie frowned. "What about my friend? What about my sister?"

David sighed. "Like I said, loyal. I can tell the others to stop looking for him. I can tell them to let your sister go."

The hope in Ellie's voice betrayed her. "Really? They’ll just let them go?"

"Yes," David nodded. "If they leave us in peace, my people will just let them go. They do what I tell them to do. They follow me. And they would follow us. Lord knows I could use the help." Taking the final steps, David stood directly in front of Ellie. The only thing separating them were the bars of the cage. "I– Look what’s happened. Think of what we could do together, as strong as we are. We’d make this place perfect. We’d grow, spread out. And we’d do whatever we needed for our people. Imagine the life we could give them. Imagine the life we could build." Then David gently wrapped his hands around Ellie's.

Chills were sent down Ellie's spine as she turned a ghostly white. "Oh," Ellie muttered. She hesitantly looked up at David as his finger began to rub against the skin of her hand. The shock on Ellie's face was wiped clean and replaced with a deadly snarl. She grabbed David's finger and pulled. She pulled until she heard that snap.

"Ah, ah!" David screamed and pulled his arm back, but Ellie wasn't done. She would break every bone in his hand and then move to his arm until David was a pool of shattered bones. She yanked his arm back, but David was too strong. With one swift pull, he freed his hand and pulled Ellie into the poles of her prison.

Ellie fell to the floor, clutching her bleeding nose. Her fingers gently pressed against the ridge of her nose. It wasn't broken. She knew what a broken nose felt like. After all, she had broken Piper's.

"You little cunt," David cursed, clutching his broken fingers. "Let’s see what I go tell the others now. Let's see what I tell them about your sister and friend."

"Ellie," Ellie said through the blood and pain. It trickled down from her nose and into her mouth.

"What?" David lowly asked, turning away from the door.

"Tell them," Ellie began, "that Ellie is the little girl who broke your fucking finger!"

David stood stunned as he took in Ellie's appearance. Her face was bloodied and filled with raw rage. Biting his tongue, David glowered at Ellie. "How did you put it? Hmm? “Tiny little pieces”?" Then David was gone, and Ellie was alone.

She was alone, and her strength faded. Her eyes only held fear. She was trapped here with cannibalistic cultists. She only wanted to help Piper. She had heard the gunshot and freaked out. She only did it to save Piper; instead, Ellie led the monster to them. They had Piper. Her panic only multiplied as the image of the ear burned in her brain. They were going to kill her and Piper and who knows what else.

Tears mixed in with the blood that fell from Ellie's face. It was her fault. She left Joel alone with those fuckers. She got herself and Piper caught. She was the reason they were going to be killed. If only she had listened. If only she didn't curse everyone around her. Everyone left. No matter how much she clung to them, they'd leave one way or another, and they'd leave because of her. The more Ellie thought about it, maybe she was the reason. After all, she was the reason Henry and Sam died. She couldn't cure him. Hell, she was the reason Tess and Riley died. She was the reason Piper got caught. She was the reason Joel was alone and dying.

Ellie no longer fought the sobs that fled her mouth. She was a curse, and she was alone, utterly alone.

꧁_꧂

Spite filled Piper's being once the doors to her prison flung open. She jumped back as David and James surged into the room. "Welcome back, you fucker. Oh, brought back up. Scared of little old me?"

David ignored her taunting and fumbled with the lock, keeping her cage closed. Piper scoffed and opened her mouth to spill more curses when the door flung open.

David and the other man lunged for her as they reached for her arms and legs. She ducked before slamming the man closest to her into the brick wall. A sweet crack filled the air as the man swung his hands to clutch his broken, bleeding nose.

"Fuck!" he cried before shooting Piper a glare as he jumped back to his feet. He looked at David, and the two nodded before stepping closer to Piper.

With each step they took, Piper took one back. Suddenly, her hands felt the cool metal of the cage. She was cornered. In the blink of an eye, firm hands squeezed her arms. Then, her legs were lifted into the air. Piper screamed.

"Get off of me! Fuck off." She swung her head around, trying to bite anything she could grab, and found James' hand. He bit his tongue as her teeth entered his skin, drawing blood.

"I tried to redeem you," David scolded her as his hands were replaced by another's, the man who shot her in the leg. "To save you in God's eyes, but you're too far gone. The devil has claimed you."

"Fuck you," Piper growled as she flailed around.

"Take her and bring her to the other one," David instructed them. The men nodded and began to drag Piper out of the room. She scratched, screamed, bit, cried, and did anything she could to free herself, but to no avail. They were going to kill her and kill Ellie too. Piper had failed, and now she was going to die.

꧁_꧂

No matter how much pain he was in, Joel had to keep going. It was as if the blood pumping through his veins was replaced with the need to ensure his girls were safe and back in his arms. Even if the wind and snow howled at him and the cold bit his skin, he kept going. He had to save his girls.

Despite the fogginess the whirling snow created, Joel had found the resort. It was huge, buildings lined, what Joel assumed was the road. As he passed, most of them were empty. Glass windows were broken, and dust and snow littered the insides. Yet he continued. His girls had to be safe so he could tell them they were no longer cargo. He needed to tell them his dream and to share it with them. It was vital he found them, and Joel knew if he couldn't, he'd be gone.

It seemed so long ago his only goal was to find Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. The girls were a means to an end to get to Tommy and his family. But fate had a different plan, and the girls stuck around longer than Joel intended. With each horrible joke from Ellie's mouth and eye roll from Piper, Joel found his goal to be changing. Yes, he needed to find Tommy, but most of all, he was searching for his family. He found Tommy and discovered Tommy had a family of his own. With the smiling faces of Maria and his unborn kid, Joel knew Tommy didn't need him anymore, but Joel needed someone.

So, as Joel lay in the dark in the bedroom, he claimed it was his own, and he gazed up to the heavens. The longer his gaze lingered, the denser Joel. What was he looking for in the darkness, staring at the ceiling? He stared that whole night, and as the sun trickled in between the bent plastic blinds, Joel's mind awakened. Joel had his family. They had been with him all along. He'd found them under his gun in a hallway in the QZ. Piper and Ellie became his girls, and most of all, they became his family. Just as quickly as he found them, he lost them as fast. They were taken, trying to protect him and their family.

Clenching his jaw, Joel pushed further into the storm. Leaning his back against the stone wall of one of the buildings, he caught his breath. The wound in his side seared with pain. He quickly checked it for blood. It wasn't bleeding, yet the snow around him was red. With narrowed eyes and careful steps, Joel followed the trail of blood into the building.

He found the door to be unlocked and stepped inside. With his flashlight equipped, he searched the room for any sign of his girls. It didn't take long for him to set sights on the girl's bags tucked underneath a table. He frowned, pushing himself to a stand. The girls were here. The raiders hadn't lied. Making a mental note of the bag's location, Joel pressed forward.

Not one of Joel's steps rang out across the building as he continued his search. His flashlight flickered as it bounced from wall to wall, searching for Ellie and Piper. Suddenly, his light stilled. The beam floated towards the beams in the ceiling. Tied from the beams were three bodies. Their heads were gone, and their skin was paler than white as they dangled from the ceiling.

Joel felt all sense wash away from him. He no longer felt the jabbing pain in his side or the way his lungs heaved air in and out of his lungs. Instead, the purest form of fear entered his body. It infected every inch like a disease, invoking an urge he hadn't felt in twenty years. It was intuitive paternal protection. If it was clear before, Joel had to get his girls out, and he'd do anything to get them back.

꧁_꧂

As the door flung open, Piper's ears were met with the worst sound in the world: Ellie's screaming.

"No! No! No," Ellie screamed as David tried to grab her. With one swipe, he snatched the collar of her shirt, pulling her in. She jabbed her fingers in his face and bit his hand, forcing him to drop her, only to find his boot kicking her down to the ground. Ellie coughed and wheezed as she protected her head from David's attack.

"Get off of me! Get off!" Her violent shakes grew stronger as she tried to free herself from the grasp of her captors. "Ellie!" Piper called out to her sister as David stepped out of her cage, closing the door behind him.

"Shut up!" James yelled at Piper as they dragged her

Ellie pushed her head off the ground, allowing Piper to look at her sister. Blood steadily flowed from Ellie's nose down her face. Scratches littered her sister's once-pale skin. "Piper!" Ellie croaked, raising a hand to reach towards her sister.

Suddenly, there was a thud, and the oxygen in Piper's lungs disappeared. She gasped for air and clenched her fists as James and the other man held her down on the table.

Ellie began to scream again. The words were incoherent in Piper's mind as the assailant from before squeezed her bullet wound. With a knowing smile, he watched as Piper jerked around in pain.

A silver glint appeared. A hand was placed beside her head. Above her stood David with a cleaver raised.

Air fled back into Piper's lungs. "Wait, wait!" She pleaded, shaking her body even more.

"Shut up!" James yelled again.

"Hold her still," David commanded as he steadied the blade above Piper's neck. Her eyes widened as the fight began to drain from her body. She was going to die. She knew it, and after she was dead, they were going to kill Ellie. Piper had failed. She had failed Ellie.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait! Don’t! Don’t do it!" Ellie cried out. She clung to the chain link fence and shook it. "Please, don’t do it! Please, don’t! Don’t!"

"You had your chance," David reminded her.

Ellie's breath escaped her lungs faster than her heartbeat. "We're infected!" She exclaimed. "We're infected. Both of us!"

James scoffed and then glanced down at Piper. He froze. His grip weakened as the sight sank deep into his mind. It was a bite mark. Piper had been bitten. Ellie also flashed her bite mark in her cage, lulling James' eyes to her wound.

The room grew quiet as James looked to the other men for guidance. His hand was still bleeding from when Piper had bitten him.

"And now, so are you," Piper chuckled. "What did you say? Everything happens for a reason, right?"

"David," James whispered, but David didn't hear him over the sound of his own heart beating in his ears. Ellie had bitten him. She was infected. Both of the girls were infected.

Shaking his head, David began to pray and not the scripted bullshit he continuously repeated for his flock. For the first time, he began to truly pray to the God he always preached about. "No. No, they would’ve turned by now." He tried to assure himself and James. "This isn’t real."

"It looks pretty fuckin’ real to me," James cried.

The other man released his grip on Piper. His feet failed him as he stumbled away from the table, checking his skin. There wasn't a bite mark. He was safe. He glanced between James and David.

"You're infected. You-"

"Now, Peter," David began calming the man down.

"You're infected," Peter gasped before running out the doors.

Piper grinned, seeing her chance, and flung herself off the table at David, knocking the knife out of his hand and forcing him to the ground. Jumping up, she scrambled to open Ellie's cage. With swift hands, she swung it open and pulled her sister out.

"Ellie! Run!" Piper yelled, shoving her sister out the door. Ellie listened this time, and this time, she regretted what she did.

Once the door settled, James retrieved the cleaver and pounced on Piper. She grunted as they toppled to the ground.

"I've got her!" James yelled to David. "Go!" With another word, David ran after Ellie.

Piper screamed and thrashed as she watched David chase after her sister. But there was nothing she could do. James sat above her, forcing the cleaver down closer and closer to her neck. Yet Piper fought. Her arms shook as they pushed against James' weight. Her eyes began to darken, and her heart thundered. Despite her efforts, the cleaver came closer. Tears formed in her eyes as she kicked her legs. She was going to die.

The silver blade shined in the faint light of the sun as it sliced her face. From her right eyebrow to cheek, her face burned. It was a scalding, searing pain as she felt warm blood trickle down her face. She pushed back, but the blade sunk deeper and deeper. Her dark eyes widened as the blade's fine edge hovered above her eye.

In one last effort to force James off of her, Piper gritted her teeth and screamed as she kicked him in between his legs. His eyes bulged, and his grip loosened. Turning his force against him, she swung the blade into her hands. The silver blade shone no longer as blood splattered over the walls, onto the floor, and Piper.

The blade never clattered to the ground as Piper pulled it back and drove it deeper into James' neck, except it wasn't James she saw, with his blue eyes and scraggly beard. Instead, she saw a face that only haunted her nightmares: Levi. She swung and swung until her hands were drenched in red. Her tears stung as the blade finally clattered to the floor. It was then Piper realized the room was darker than it was before. Clouds of gray and black filled the air.

Tilting her head, her eyes followed the trail. It was smoke, and it came from beyond the doors. That's where Ellie had run. Piper's heart clenched, and she grabbed her chest, wincing in pain. Ellie, she thought. She had to get Ellie. She had to save Ellie. Piper pushed herself to her feet. Her eyesight grew muddier as blood continued to flow into her eyes. She tried blinking it away, but her face spasmed in pain. It was as if the pain on her face caused a chain reaction; Her leg buckled from underneath her, bringing her to the floor. Instead of a hand touching the door handle, it was her head. Piper's head hit the floor with a smash, and her world grew black.

The darkness was a sweet relief from the pain and fear. There was no monster hovering above her. In the darkness, she was a kid again, safe in her room with her sister tucked beside her. She could dream in the dark. She could dream of that farm with the sheep and her family sitting beside her. Anything was possible in the darkness, so Piper sank deeper into the darkness.

꧁_꧂

EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING IN THIS SECTION! READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION

Ellie ran. Piper had told her to do so, and she ran. The doors she opened only seemed to end in more doors. Twirling around, she searched for anything to protect herself with just in case it wasn't Piper who came after her. She was in a kitchen now. Knives hung from the walls, too high up for Ellie to reach. If she had time, she'd grab them, but time was not on Ellie's side. A glint of red and orange from beneath the stove caught her eye. It was the remnants of a fire still lingering on a chunk of wood. Without much thought, she snatched it and ran through the next pair of doors.

Wood and shades of red clashed together as the new room appeared. Seats, tables, and benches were everywhere. Ellie darted between the tables for the glass door, for freedom. When she reached the door and pushed, it didn't budge. It was locked. Cursing, Ellie whipped her head around. She had to hide until she could get out or until Piper found her.

Hiding behind a wooden wall, Ellie crouched down and caught her breath. Her ears listened for any sign of Piper or an oncoming assailant. There was a deafening creak as the doors swung on their hinges. The footsteps Ellie heard following were heavy and frantic. This wasn't Piper. Holding her breath, Ellie waited until the footsteps were a few paces away before she jumped out. With all her strength, Ellie threw the stick. It flew towards David, who ducked out of the way. The stick landed underneath a window. The remaining fire flew onto the curtains, swarming the fabric with desperate flames.

The fire grew upwards, reaching the ceiling before spreading over the chairs and benches. Crackles came from the fire as it consumed everything around it.

"There’s no way out, Ellie," David said as he stalked around the dining hall. His steps were calculated as he peered under each table for Ellie. "The doors are locked. And I have the keys. Ellie?" David cooed. "Ellie!"

From underneath a nearby table, Ellie squeezed her body tighter. She needed to be invisible until Piper came. Ellie knew Piper would save her from David. After all, her sister had made a promise.

"Ellie…" David called out as he continued his hunt. "I know you’re not infected. No one infected fights this hard to stay alive. So… how did you two do it? What’s the secret? Or are you girls just that fucking special?"

The roaring fire had consumed most of the building. Clouds of smoke soared from the flames, filling the air. Ellie's lungs tensed as the black mist threatened to enter them. She crept deeper into her hiding place, covering her mouth to stifle any coughs.

"No one likes being humiliated, Ellie. You don’t know how good I am! You don’t know what I could’ve given you! If you had just let me!" David's search grew more frantic as he searched for Ellie.

Meanwhile, the young girl darted from spot to spot until she crept behind the bar. With shaking hands, she picked up a steak knife and held it close, ready to strike if needed. Sweat clung to her skin, and worry filled her mind. Where was Piper?

Suddenly, an ear-piercing scream erupted from the back room. Ellie shuddered and slapped her free hand over her mouth. It was Piper. The scream seemed to last an eternity before the sound was abruptly silenced. Ellie whimpered as the blaring quiet filled her ears.

"Did you hear that Ellie? That was the sound of your sister dying. She has failed you. I won't fail you. I never will if you'll let me!" David yelled with a gleeful smile on his face. From her hiding spot, Ellie began to cry. Piper wasn't coming to save her.

"Ellie," David taunted as his steps grew closer to Ellie's hiding place. "I have news for you. Neither one of us is dying today. You see, I’ve changed my mind. I’ve decided you do need a father. So I’m gonna keep you… and I’m gonna teach you. Ellie. Ellie…"

With tears and blood adorning her face, Ellie crept out of her hiding place. David's back was turned to the raging fires. Instantly, Ellie lunged and stabbed the steak knife into David's side as he turned and swung the cleaver at her. She ducked before tripping over her feet and bringing herself to the floor.

Above her, David groaned as he pulled the knife out of his side. "Ah, fuck," he cursed, clutching his side. He pulled back his hand, which was dripping blood. Biting his lips, his venomous eyes trailed over Ellie as she crawled along the floor. Her hands desperately reached for the cleaver David had dropped in their struggle. He took a step before swinging his leg into her stomach. He kicked and kicked, forcing a grunt of pain to escape from Ellie's mouth.

When she turned on her back, he pounced. His hands flew to hers, forcefully holding her down as he sat down on her legs, keeping them still. Ellie screamed as she thrashed around. David leaned in close, and Ellie spit. Pulling back, David chuckled; "Oh. I thought you already knew. The fighting is the part I like the most."

Ellie screamed as loud as she could. It was a call for anyone willing to save her. She begged that it reached her sister's ears, so that just maybe, Piper would awake from the dead to rescue her. But the dead don't return that quickly. Next, she screamed for Joel, who lay dying in the basement. Maybe he'd be able to hear her call and save her. Someone had to come for Ellie. Someone. Anyone.

"Don’t be afraid," David soothed as Ellie continued to scream. “There’s no fear in love.”

As David released one of her hands to reach downward, Ellie reached. No one was coming to save her. Piper was gone. She risked her life for Ellie's escape. Joel wasn't here. No one would save her, so she had to save herself. Her finger brushed against the handle of the cleaver. Pulling it down, she grasped the handle and, with all her might, swung it down onto David's neck.

David fell back, struggling to stop the blood from falling from his body. Gurgles escaped his mouth when he tried to speak, but Ellie wasn't listening. She was saving herself. She brought it down repeatedly with her hands clinging tightly to the cleaver. As the blade cut deeper into David's face and body, Ellie cried. She cried for her loss: her sister, her childhood, Joel, Tess, Riley, Henry and Sam. No one came to save her, and Ellie was alone.

The fire raged on as curtains fell into piles of ash. The wooden walls and ceilings turned dark as the flames consumed them. Hovering David's body, the orange and red blaze reached out to Ellie. The heat was trying to comfort her mourning heart. Stumbling to her feet, Ellie brushed the gentle flames aside and headed towards the door's light. With bloody and trembling hands, she placed the key into the lock and stepped out into the bitter cold.

Smoke trickled out as the door opened. Her body shivered, and her feet sluggishly wobbled in the snow. She had nothing now. There was no Joel and Piper. Her coat and bag were stolen from her when she arrived. The only thing she had was herself. In a daze, she shuffled forward deeper into the snowstorm.

Suddenly, a pair of large dark hands flew onto her shoulders. Ellie screamed and flailed her arms around. "No! Get off of me! Get off!" She pleaded.

"Ellie," a deep, gentle voice uttered. "It’s me."

"Get–" Ellie yelled as the hands turned her around.

"Ellie," the voice repeated her name and a soft hand cupped her cheeks. "It’s me."

The fog from her dark eyes faded to reveal Joel. His face was all pinched up as he looked at her. His brown eyes welcomed her in and told her she was safe. Someone had come for her. Ellie wasn't alone. Joel had found her.

"Hey…," Joel said. "Look, It’s me… It’s me. It’s okay." He brushed some of the hairs from her face away.

"He-," Ellie began to mumble.

Joel nodded and gently pulled her into his warm embrace. She didn't hesitate to place her head on his chest and allow the tears to come. Joel had come for her. "It’s okay. It’s okay, baby girl. I got you," He soothed as his hands rubbed along her back. Closing his eyes, he rested his chin against her head. Ellie was safe. He only had one more daughter to find.

"Where's Piper?" He asked and immediately felt Ellie's legs grow weak. His grip tightened as he held her up.

Choking on her sobs, Ellie peered up at Joel. "She-she's," Ellie's voice shook. "I heard her scream. It was so loud. Joel, she's-"

"Okay," Joel said as he looked at the building Ellie had emerged from. "Ellie, I need you to come with me. We need to fi-"

The shrieking sound of glass shattering filled the air. Smoke tumbled out from the side of the building, pulling Joel and Ellie's attention. What they heard next was quiet. It was a plea for help. It was Piper.

꧁_꧂

Pain. It's all Piper felt once her eyes opened. The room was as dark as her unconsciousness had been. Piper's lungs heaved as they remembered to breathe, only finding nothing to take in except for dark, heavy smoke. As coughs erupted from her chest, Piper felt her body grow weaker than it had ever been before. The temptation to fall back into the darkness grew too much. It had been so welcoming and peaceful, but the darkness couldn't give her everything. The darkness couldn't hold Ellie and Joel.

She placed her hands in the sticky pool of blood that had seeped out of her and pushed herself to a stand. Her hand instinctively covered her mouth as she opened the door she had seen Ellie run out of. As the metal doors opened, a roaring fire was ready to greet her. Quickly, she closed the door and turned around for a new escape.

Above her, a faint light seeped through the dark fog of black. She limped over to the countertops and pulled herself atop them. She prayed Ellie made it out and ran. It was the only thing keeping her going. If Ellie was gone, she might as well sink back into the fire and smoke and return to the darkness.

Standing tall, Piper reached her hands into the air. Her scorched and bloodied fingers felt the cold glass windows. She banged against them, fighting the smoke that forced its way down into her lungs. The windows refused to open. She grew more desperate with each hit. She had to get out. She wanted to live. She needed to find Ellie and Joel.

A glint shone through the darkness. A metal rolling pin glimmered. Piper dragged her feet along to grasp it. Her arms dropped down from the weight. This would break the glass, Piper thought as she lugged it back to the window. She raised it and swung. The metal thudded against the glass. She swung again. The glass cracked. Swinging one final time, the glass shattered. Using the pin, Piper enlarged the hole so that it was big enough for her to crawl through before dropping the pin to the ground.

Piper's knees buckled beneath her as the rolling pin clattered to the floor, and she fell. She was so tired. Her lungs had given up any fight to inhale only breathable air. Her wounds continued to scream in pain as red liquid soaked her skin. Everything in her body told her to crawl into a ball and welcome the fire. However, her heart and mind sang a different tune. It was a song of freedom. It was her dream.

Struggling to stand, Piper clung to the walls, searching for anything to help her up. She reached to the window and clenched her fingers around the ledge. Her muscles strained against her will to pull herself out. Glass dug into the palms of her hand as she forced herself off the counter and into the air. Flinging her elbow onto the ledge, she kicked her legs into the air, allowing her second elbow to gain a grip. With both arms on the windowsill, she pushed down, throwing herself through the window.

A cry fled her mouth as she removed her hands and arms from the window. Shards of glass embedded themselves deep into her skin, and even more blood fell from her wounds. Swinging her legs around, Piper jumped. She welcomed the white snow, which immediately turned a dark pink.

Her head rang with a static noise as her world began to spin. Something loud was crying out into the air. She winced, trying to make sense of it.

"Piper!" Joel and Ellie called out. They ran to her fallen body in the snow. Joel's knees fell to the ground as his hands wrapped around her broken body. Worry and guilt filled his being as he took in her torn-up figure. With heavy eyes, Piper looked up at Joel and Ellie. Ellie was in tears as she lunged for her sister, enveloping her in a desperate hug. Meanwhile, Joel took both girls in his large embrace. He held them tight to fight off the biting winter cold.

His daughters were home in his arms. His daughters were alive. His shirt grew wetter the longer they sat in the snow, holding onto each other.

"It's okay," he whispered into their ears. "I've got you. I've got you."

꧁_꧂

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꧁_꧂

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yanderes-galore · 2 years ago

Note

heyyyyy,

so i really loved your self-aware ethan winters and was hoping you could write a scenario with ethan finding a way to leave the game and darling is just wondering why is a man in the middle of the room

sending all my good vibes so you have a great day <3

sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language

Ah, sure! I'll see what I have, I never thought of continuing it so I'll try 😊 Thanks for the good vibes, your english is fine 💜 May be a bit tame, struggled a bit but did what I could for Ethan's yandere behavior!

Self-Aware! Ethan Winters Concept

Real

Yandere! Self-Aware! Ethan Winters Scenario

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Self-Aware game character, Swearing, Breaking and entering (?), Delusional behavior, Forced relationship, Poessessive themes, Cutting mention, Wounds.

When you woke up the first thing you smelt was mold. The thought puzzled you at first. Black mold... the type of mold that develops during events like water damage.

But you never had any water damage in your home.

That was the first incident that puzzled you. The next was when you walked towards the room you kept your game system/PC in... only to be met with something stranger. A man was on his hands and knees in your house, looking bewildered.

The musky smell of mold got stronger when you got closer. When you saw the man you stayed quiet and gazed at his clothes. They were dirty... familiar.

It was like those of a video game character... Resident Evil in particular. You decide to test your luck... this must be a dream, right? Why would any of this be real?

Maybe you were smelling mold in your sleep?

"Ethan?" You find yourself saying. There was no way it actually was him, dream or not. You're stunned into silence again when the man looks up.

"You... You know my name!"

The mysterious man's tone is less of a question and more excitement. His face reminds you of the rendered models you'd seen of Ethan Winters online. Were you scared... or just confused?

"Sir... that's really your name?" You ask with hesitance, moving your hand to the pocket that holds your phone. The man sits up on his knees with an intense gaze on you.

"E-Ethan Winters."

"Like the game character?" You narrow your gaze.

"Game...?" Ethan looks around and sees your copy of Resident Evil 7/8 on the desk. He stares at it blankly for a moment before slowly nodding. "I guess so...."

"Where did you come from? How did you get in my house?"

Ethan looks puzzled again before slowly standing up.

"Um..." He looks towards your TV/monitor. "Supposedly from there?"

You're both bewildered and confused at this point.

"Explain yourself or I'm calling the police."

"Wait, wait, wait! I've come too far for that!" Ethan holds up his hands. "This may sound weird... but I do think I came from your game. I've been trying really hard to come here-"

"The hell are you talking about!?"

"I-I've been the person you've been playing in your... game." Ethan starts, still new to the concept himself. "I've wanted to meet you for a long time since you're the player... and I found a way!"

"You're trying to say you're a game character...."

"Yes!"

"... and I'm supposed to accept this is not a dream?"

Ethan frowns at your response.

"... I can prove it to you."

"Really?"

Ethan pulls out the knife he always has in the game and presses it to his arm. You look away with a grimace when he cuts his arm... but there's no blood. Only mold... the same mold you've been smelling.

Ethan Winters... the GAME character... was inside your home....

"No shit...."

"Believe me?"

"How can I not after... that-"

"Great!" Ethan cheers, stepping a bit closer. "It's so nice to meet you...?" Ethan says, expecting a name to call you. You give him your name. Ethan smiles, saying it's nice on the tongue.

"What brings you... here?"

"Not sure how I did it... but I wanted to meet you since you're the only thing real in my 'life'."

"Only thing real?"

"My life is merely a game in your world..." Ethan sighs. "Don't you get it? Nothing I know is real except this place. No Mia... No Rose...."

You frown. Putting it that way is... really sad. You never thought of it like that. Then again... video game characters aren't supposed to be real.

"Damn...." You mutter. Ethan asks to sit on your couch and you comply.

"None of it matters... not when I'm here now, at least." Ethan gives a small smile. "Maybe I can make a new life here."

His gaze on you is unnatural. It feels synthetic... you know that he isn't entirely human, and that's not just because of the mold. However... you're still trying to understand the situation you've just been thrust into.

"Could you... show me around?"

---

Ethan already knew how to make connections between items in your world and his. After all, his world was modeled after yours. As a result... Ethan adapted quickly.

You, however, struggled to grasp the concept of Ethan in your home. You didn't think you could get used to it. You didn't even know what to tell people.

Ethan treats you like you're his savior. He praises you for opening his eyes. He thanks you for allowing him to stay. You only allowed it as you weren't sure what else to do...

You can't release him into the public.

Living with him was strange. Mold was a frequent smell that invaded your nose no matter what you did to cover it up. You also noticed Ethan doesn't eat... sometimes he doesn't even sleep.

He's unnatural... an anomaly.

You tried to treat him like a friend. If others asked... you said he was just a friend! Ethan appeared to enjoy it when you called him a friend....

If anything, Ethan just wants to incorporate himself into your life.

In his eyes... your fates have been intertwined since you first played that game of yours...

Why wouldn't he cling to you? You're like partners!

Partners... soon, Ethan starts to think you're better than Mia. Mia isn't even real... but you are, just like him! You wouldn't mind if he inched your relationship towards something more... intimate, would you?

After all, he technically was designed for your entertainment one way or another.

You notice Ethan become overly sweet towards you. He's always been sweet and respectful due to his character. Over time... it gets concerning.

Ethan vows to dedicate his whole existence to you, his player. He wouldn't be where he is right now without you! As a result... he doesn't want to leave your side.

Ethan feels he's your type anyways! You seemed to like the game he was a part of a lot... and you mentioned he's really sweet at times... surely he can make this work! Even if he's not fully real compared to you.

Ethan is more like a synthetic lifeform compared to you... still born of code rather than flesh and blood.

Ethan realizes this may cause problems. Yet... he's patient. After all, he isn't going anywhere. There's nowhere to go for him.

Even if he could go back to the game, he'd rather stay where's it's real.

Truthfully, Ethan believes fate will bring you two together in the end. Even if you don't reciprocate his gentle touches. Even if you ignore his words of praise and adoration... he's confident.

There has to be a reason you released him from the game. There must be a reason he's so drawn to you. You're partners... for everything!

Clearly Ethan will be here for you until the end...

If you can't get rid of him, why not choose him as your next and only partner instead of looking for someone else?

#yandere resident evil #yandere resident evil 7 #yandere resident evil 8 #yandere ethan winters #yandere self aware au

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milaisreading · 2 years ago

Text

Author: This is a pt 2 to this request I wrote😭 hope u like it🩷

Warnings ⚠️: Reader uses she/her. Might come off as suggestive in some parts, but nothing really happens. Requests are open

⚽️Blue lock belongs to:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

"He is where?!" Baro yelled at Chigiri as the rest looked at the redhead in disbelief. As soon as he came back to the room, he explained to his teammates that he saw Ness in (Y/n)'s room and how he manipulated her into spending time with him and completely ignored Chigiri for it. At that Kurona and Isagi spoke up, catching the attention of their teammates.

"So that dumbass IS doing it on purpose?! We tried to talk to her the whole day, but we were put in second best spot. Ness started blabbering something and (Y/n) immediately lost her interest in us." Kurona huffed in annoyance as Isagi nodded his head.

"That bastard is monopolizing all of her time and we just get scraps! How is this fair?! (Y/n) is our manager!"

"I hate to say this, but I agree with Isagi. It's not fair that he gets all the kisses." Rin said, blushing in embarrassment.

"And the hugs, those loving, warm hugs..." Bachira sighed, already feeling a ton of emotions hit him as he thought of it.

"Why is Ness (Y/n)'s favorite of all people?"

"Karasu, he isn't. She is just now nice to him now since he is a baby." Yukimiya denied the idea as Hiori and Aryu sighed, shaking their heads.

"Now you are just lying to yourself. We all know (Y/n) lo...likes Ness." Hiori said, trying not to gag at the idea.

"Yeah... I even heard Teieri-san tease her about some wedding gowns if Ness ever proposed." Aryu added, causing the rest to flinch at the idea.

"Hell no! That's not happening, (Y/n) is marrying me!" Baro yelled, earning a disapproving look from some.

"(Y/n) is marrying ME, because I am much more stable than all of you combined. Also, she already said I am handsome, so that is enough." Reo soud proudly.

"She said I am handsome too, also I can give her stability as well."

"Nagi, no offense but you would oversleep your own wedding. You are not suitable for the role."

"Neither are you, Otoya! You would probably cheat!" Kunigami yelled at the silver/green-haired boy.

"I would never do that!"

"Hmm~ I would love to have a wedding with (Y/n), maybe a cute, nature themed one? Ahh~ she would look so adorable in a wedding dress." Gagamaru blushed as him and Niko sat in a corner, while the rest argued.

"You are right, and imagine her cute hairstyles~ you think she would like a winter or summer wedding? I am going for winter."

"I think it's summer, Niko. She seems to like the sun and outdoors events more."

The two continued talking as the rest of the group kept on either arguing or cursing Ness out.

The next day, (Y/n) woke up to...to quite something. Instead of seeing the toddler Ness she fell asleep with, she found the all grown-up Ness smiling down at her. (Y/n) blinked and smiled back at the magenta-eyed boy, trying to get consciousness of her surrounding.

"Ness, you are back in your usual form! Thank God that curse wore off. How are you feeling?" (Y/n) asked calmly, still not realizing a big, glaring issue. Ness laughed and nodded his head.

"Yeah! But I really had a good sleep, we should do this again sometimes, just in my normal form again." (Y/n) blushed at the idea of cuddling up with Ness, but still nodded her head.

"Sure... uh... Ness, where are your clothes?" The girl asked, finally realizing that the German didn't wear a shirt.

"I don't think they grew with me." Ness said nonchalantly as (Y/n) nodded her head. After a few moments of silence, the girl's eyes started widening and her face got flustered.

'Wait...so... is he...is...'

"You are naked right now?!" (Y/n) yelled in embarrassment.

"Kinda... I don't have any clothes and can't really go outside to get any." Ness shrugged his shoulders again.

"Ah! Yeah, you are right! I will go and get some!" (Y/n) gulped as Ness smiled brightly at her.

"Thanks!"

"(Y/n)!- oh Ness, you are back to normal, nice." Bachira exclaimed as he, Isagi and Rin approached them during breakfast.

"Y-yeah he is!" (Y/n) nodded her head, still flustered from the encounter from this morning.

"Yeah, I woke up like this. Poor (Y/n) here was pretty shocked to see me." Ness said, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer.

'Ahh! So close!' The girl gulped and sent Ness a few nervous glances. The other guys from Blue lock stopped eating and observed the situation, as jealous as the trio was by their closeness.

"Yeah yeah, (Y/n) I will need your help with something-"

"Wait up." Rin interrupted Isagi and pointed at Ness.

"You two slept in separate beds, right?"

"No... Ness was crying whenever I left him in a separate futon, so he slept with me." As (Y/n) said that, she heard something break from across the room.

"Baro! You broke my fucking glass!"

"Oh shut up, Otoya!"

"Wait... you two slept together in a bed?" Isagi said again, looking at (Y/n) in disbelief.

"Kinda." The girl admitted in embarrassment.

"It was nice tho, you are quite soft and warm." Ness said as he looked back at her. The three boys had to use all the willpower in the world to not jump at Ness.

"Gagamaru broke a knife you all!" Hiori exclaimed.

The rest of the boys were pretty much in a sour and pissed off mood, hoping they will practice with Bastard München today.

'Sleep with one eye opens, Ness.' Kunigami glared at him. Feeling his, Chigiri and Niko's glares at himself, Ness looked at them and posed his tongue out while winking.

'SON OF A-'

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bajistadiamond · 2 months ago

Text

Yuu and the Magical Power of Songs

Yuu Singer, 🎶💎Ramshackle💎🎶 (This is Halloween) Halloween - Part 1

Halloween… one of the biggest holidays in the world; filled with a lot of joy and fun, but also hiding a lot of darkness. Yuu hoped it would be as normal as she could be in a place as extravagant as Twisted Wonderland.

And yes, at first it was… except for the part where Yuu wanted to hit Crowley to a pulp with a frying pan for almost leaving him out of the event organization meetings.

Each dorm had its theme and area specified for the event; and while Malleus initially wanted to use the Ramshackle area, Yuu wanted to prepare something of his own.

The entire Ramshackle dormitory (Yuu already had a new name and even a representative figure, he just wanted to make the presentation and inauguration at the right time) had been transformed to look like a mix of all the sagas of the Uncharted video game.

Fortunately for Yuu, somehow without explanation or logic Uncharted existed on TW under another name.

The bedroom became the ruins of a Victorian mansion with torn pirate flags and skeletons dressed as pirates. With the help of his magic, ghosts and Idia for special effects he was able to achieve an area with a golden sacphage with a sign that said "Do you dare to open it?". Inside was the seal of the bedroom in the hands of a very realistic plastic corpse. When you opened the sarcophagus and took the seal, skull-like zombie-like monsters and hairy beasts would appear and chase you into a room with two doors. A door took you to a winter area that had a grayish tree with blue veins connected to a blue amber sphere. The other sent you to a desert with fountains and marble statues with floating pyramids. Both areas were more for selfies than anything else; Then you walked out of the building to see the scene of a plane crash, an abandoned train, and boxes with the Shoreline logo. And finally, next to the entrance tree, a statue of Sir Francis Drake.

Yuu doesn't know how, but somehow everything came together nicely.

Yuu's outfit was that of Nathan Drake and Grim, transformed into a human beast thanks to a potion, dressed as Sullivan.

Yuu smiled as he looked in the mirror with the costume ready for him.

There was only one day left until the entire event began and the doors of NRC opened to the public.

"Nhya! Henchman, hurry up!" Grim shouted from below. The other delegates had already arrived to review the final details.

Yuu sighed before adjusting his belt a little and leaving the room.

"I hope everything turns out well." The brunette thought as he went down the stairs. … … …

Little did Yuu know that: Halloween + NRC = Chaos

Yuu certainly shouldn't be surprised at what a disaster the open days turned out to be.

What leaves the white-haired man speechless is that it all started with a photo… with a fucking photo!

Yuu knew that he had a decent amount of followers on MagiCam (having the "voice of the gods" already gives you a very high status in Twisted Wonderland society) and thanks to that he has made a couple of very good contracts for his account banking with the help of Vil as his instructor in the world of reflectors.

But hey… who knew that a photo of Yuu and Grim in their Halloween costumes and the three Ramshackle ghosts would cause visitors to become "MagiCam Monsters".

Now all the NRC students are elated with the parade on the last night of the event.

The floats decorated with the theme of each dorm came out of the warehouse where they kept the black carriages near the coliseum.

"It was a long time ago, much longer than you think." Yuu narrated in an enigmatic voice. "In a place that you have perhaps seen in your dreams." People felt a chill run through them. "And the story I will tell for you, the world of endless parties happened." Leaders and sub-leaders began to laugh macabrely. "Maybe you've wondered about the history of the holidays." The magic made the entire NRC look much creepier under the glow of the full moon. "Pay attention, because this is now beginning." Yuu finished saying before the streetlights went out and only the pumpkin lanterns remained lit that made the pupils of all the students shine. Yuu led the parade as the music started to play… it was sinister, mysterious and lively.

Boys and girls of every age~

Wouldn't you like to see something strange?~

The light came to life in flashes that blinded the visitors for a second; All the students danced on the floats, each one to their own chaotic and crazy rhythm. The hair hid Yuu's eyes, so only a big smile was visible as he sang. For the NRC visitors it was fortunate that the event was not canceled by the crazy people at MagiCam; It was lucky to see the youngest person in TW with "the voice of the gods".

Come with us and you will see~

This, our town of Halloween~

The spectators most sensitive to magic felt that a mermaid was singing; luring them into a perverse and dark world. Yuu jumped almost 2 meters; doing cartwheels in the air and walking as if he were the king of the world among his companions.

This is Halloween, this is Halloween~

Pumpkins scream in the dead of night~

The pumpkins seemed to have come to life; the pumpkins seemed to sing and jumped on the dry grass, the will-o'-the-wisp appeared dancing between the trees and the crows flew laughing while dropping feathers.

This is Halloween, everybody make a scene~

Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright~

From their floats Deuce, Jack, Ortho and Sebek threw candy and confetti while Grim, Ace and Epel threw rolls of toilet paper and bags filled with fake blood. Everyone was laughing like crazy horror movie villains and having a great time. The visitors also laughed with amusement at the little scares caused by Yuu's magic.

It's our town, everybody scream~

In this town of Halloween~

Ghosts were also part of the show; appearing from the ground where there were tombstones, passing through and flying over the visitors. In turn, Yuu surfed on an army of spiders made of magic and the horses on the floats, which were painted with chemical-free neon paint, became more skeletal and spooky.

I am the one hiding under your bed~

Yuu climbed onto Scarabia's float and hugged Kalim and Jamil by the shoulders, who smiled and howled at the moon.

Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red~

Jamil smiled, he danced like he had never done before. He felt so free, so wild, and it was all thanks to Yuu. "How handsome he looks." Viper thought, as he saw the prefect of Ramshackle, who smiled at the dark-haired man and dragged him with him. Kalim looked mischievously at the first year and Jamil as they jumped onto the Heartslabyul float; he was very sure that the two of them and Ruggie would make a very romantic threesome.

I am the one hiding under your stairs~

Riddle danced sublimely with his cane as he greeted everyone. Trey mischievously came up behind him and gave him a little scare. Riddle looked at him with a pout. "He spends too much time with Floyd." The redhead thought because the habits of the most annoying of the Leechs were infecting his childhood friend.

Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair~

Trey looked at Riddle with tender eyes before removing his black veil and giving him a quick kiss. Riddle blushes like a strawberry while Trey laughs like crazy; they both started dancing as if they were at a gala. Cater was more than happy to have photos of the moment.

This is Halloween, this is Halloween~

Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!~

Bats and crows circling over the NRC castle. Yuu jumped with Jamil from the float onto the pavement of Main Street. The first year snapped his fingers and the statues of the Big 7 began to dance to the music.

In this town we call home~

Everyone hail to the pumpkin song~

Jade and Floyd smiled like predators, giving candy to the minors and taking photos with those they wanted. The ribbons and scraps of fabric from their suits floated as if they had a mind of their own.

In this town, don't we love it now?~

Everybody's waiting for the next surprise~

Azul, to no one's surprise, was already making plans to extend the Halloween specials at Mostro Lounge for another week. "I need to talk to the mayor about tariffs on exotic products." The one with glasses thought before throwing his hat into the air and Yuu's magic made it explode into jelly beans.

Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can~

Idia couldn't describe in words the feeling he got from being dressed up. He felt like the brave hero of the stories he and Ortho read. "You look so normal Nii-san." Ortho told him, trying not to laugh.

Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll… ~

The eldest of the Shroud brothers crossed his arms, but nothing took him out of his moment as a brave knight… or so he thought.

Scream!

Yuu's scream almost made Idia fall; Ortho laughed and was grateful to have his cameras in recording mode.

This is Halloween~

Red and black~

Lilia sang, appearing head first among the visitors, who were scared and then laughed. Sebek despite initial reluctance, was having fun. It had taken him time and he still had to learn, but being more tolerant was paying off.

Slimy green~

Silver looked at Sebek, and couldn't help but feel proud of how he had managed to make friends. Ace approached the green-haired man to point out a group that seemed to come from Noble Bell College. The two laughed before approaching said group and scaring them.

Aren't you scared?~

"Although… maybe those friendships are corrupting him." Silver thought, watching as Sebek laughed out loud while Ace chased the group that came from NBC as if they were monsters.

Well, that's just fine~

Then the silver knight of Diasomnia remembered that it was his father who suggested that Sebek have friends. "It's not my problem." Silver thought, shrugging his shoulders and continuing the song.

Say it once, say it twice~

Take a chance and roll the dice~

Vil danced with his characteristic poise and grace; many were fainting or having runny noses when they saw the actor's captivating gaze and his tongue running over the fake quotes of his costume. Neige, who was incognito among the visitors, bit his lips, resisting the urge to kidnap Vil.

Ride with the moon in the dead of night~

Epel will never admit to Vil, but he felt very handsome in the suit, although perhaps that was already obvious considering he was dancing with Rook while they pointed at the moon. Yuu also pointed at the moon, causing it to turn crimson.

Everybody scream, everybody scream~

In our town of Halloween!~

Yuu stopped for a moment to take in his surroundings; He concentrated a little and took control of everyone. All the NRC students followed the choreography with enthusiasm.

I am the clown with the tear-away face~ Idia said before removing the pumpkin from his head.

Here in a flash and gone without a trace~ Floyd sang with his sharp smile.

I am the “who” when you call, “Who's there?” ~ Malleus, who had walked with his head bowed, began to sing.

I am the wind blowing through your hair~ Prince Draconia raised his head; His eyes were shining and smoke came from his lips.

I am the shadow on the moon at night~ Grim sang as he transformed into his monstrous version.

Filling your dreams to the brim with fright~ Jack, using Vil's modeling lessons, walked as if on a catwalk while making the gesture of passing his saber across his neck.

This is Halloween, this is Halloween~

Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!~

Halloween! Halloween!~

Yuu and Jamil boarded Savanaclaw's float. The one with white hair was euphoric, it had been a long time since "the voice of the gods" no longer tired him but filled him with energy.

Tender lumplings everywhere~

Leona and Ruggie were putting on a great show; The beastmen threw their steel and gold sabers into the air to retrieve them and start a fight on the galleon-shaped float. Scarabia and Ramshackle smiled at each other before taking a saber.

Life's no fun without a good scare~

It looked like Leona was going to win the duel, but Jamil and Yuu joined the hyena beast boy. The lion couldn't say anything, because nothing in life was fair, so he decided to try to kick their butts.

That's our job, but we're not mean~

In our town of Halloween~

The teachers and director watched the entire parade from a box. They were enjoying delicious sangria provided by Sam while also enjoying the song; None of them could deny that they wanted to be part of the parade.

In this town~

Don't we love it now?~

Everyone's waiting for the next surprise~

Yuu, accompanied by Ruggie and Jamil, escaped from the pirate Leona, and went to the center of the parade. The floats stopped and were ready to give the grand finale.

The big seven could catch you in the back~

The crescendo of the song began to make an appearance. People couldn't stop dancing and laughing at the mischief of the atmosphere... All the students looked at the floor as they stomped their feet.

And scream like a banshee~

In unison, they raise their heads abruptly and shake, making a quick backward movement, bringing their hands to their mouths to simulate a scream. Then, with jerky movements, each dormitory leader opened his arms and carried them in a wide circle upward; the color magic of his dorms swirled in his hands.

Make you jump out of your skin~

Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, Ortho, Sebek and Grim danced in a circle, with small jumps, as if they were doing a ritual to call the spirits. Meanwhile, the sub-leaders stepped back sharply, feigning surprise, and each one in a different posture, as if they had seen something terrifying.

This is Halloween, everybody scream~

Won't ya please make way for a very special people?~

Everyone followed Yuu, making exaggerated movements, stomping their feet and opening their mouths as if they were screaming. Then everyone dispersed, each student going to their dorm representative. Since Yuu and Grim's statue had not been added yet, the white-haired one represented their statue.

Our Great Seven, Monarchs of the Pumpkin Patch ~

The light illuminates the statues (and Yuu); Each student, with soft and slow movements with their arms, bowed towards their idols

Everyone, hail the Pumpkin Kings and Queens now! ~

Each student looked reverently at the statues, as if they could see the seven great ones alive. Yuu lifted Grim from his bow and hugged him, then looked at the others mischievously.

This is Halloween, this is Halloween~

Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!~

Everyone left their bow to dance like crazy, waving their hands as if they were scaring something away, shaking their feet or simply moving their cloaks. Halloween really was NRC's time of year.

In this town we call home~

Everyone hail to the pumpkin song~

Ruggie looked at Yuu mischievously while Jamil looked at him longingly. Yuu looked at them and winked at them. "Gods, I really have to talk to them about us." He thought as he sang the last verses of the song.

La, la, la ~ (Halloween! Halloween!)

La-la-la, la, la ~ (Halloween! Halloween!)

La-la-la, la-la-la, hey! ~

The NRC student body fell to their knees from exhaustion, but still laughing. They had their hearts racing. The spectators began to applaud excitedly; Seriously, the best Halloween festival Night Raven College has ever seen. "Happy Halloween." All the first years exclaimed, still laughing like villains…

" When you look in the mirror tonight, make sure you are the only person in the reflection "

Notes: While the song would be perfect for the "Nightmare Before Christmas" Halloween event, I want to use another song for that event (also, it would be very cliché). @selenacrest made me a request before publishing this so I will open part 2 in a few days.

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst oc #disney twst #alternate universe #yuu singer #au #mc #yuu #disney song #twst wonderland #twst fanfic #twst fandom #halloween #twst halloween #happy halloween #spooky season #night before christmas

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divine-knight-hand · 1 year ago

Text

Worshiping the Masterpiece

Loki Masterlist || Full Masterlist || Read on AO3

Pairing: Loki x Female Reader

Summary: Loki’s lover finally gains the courage to ask him about his Jotun form. When he lets her see it, she takes the moment as an opportunity to help him do a little confidence building… by kissing… and touching… and praising…

Content Warnings: Sub!Loki (but hints of him being a switch), Soft Dom!Reader, themes of insecurity, [heavy appreciation of] Loki in his Jotun form, handjob in front of a mirror, lots of praise, no oral (but just a little taste of cum!), and explicit consent

Notes: (Prepare for lengthy notes with mushy sentiments! Hehehe!)

Happy birthday, @sarahscribbles!!! I’m still pretty new-ish to this whole tumblr-fanfic-writer thing, and I ended up gravitating to her as one of the blogs I look up to the most (specifically in terms of Loki content). So, happy, happy, happy birthday, Sarah! Remember that your community loves you very much. May you get lots of presents, cake, and Loki love~

This piece was written as a contribution to her Birthday Celebration. I originally started writing using some of the prompts from the original post, but I soon lost motivation, only to remember that I had this idea on repeat in my mind sooooo long ago, and it resurfaced just in time for me to finally put it to paper. So, I didn’t end up using any of the prompts, after all. Maybe someday I’ll finish what I originally started for this challenge and post it anyways. Maybe…

All in all, it was kind of refreshing to be able to write a fic about Loki. I don't really write about him as much as I would like to, so this writing event gave me the perfect motivation to just jump right in. So, without further ado, here we go!

Word Count: 3,547

Dividers by @cafekitsune

“Absolutely not.” Loki’s eyebrows furrowed at my daring request. “I refuse to burden you with that monstrous visage.”

Loki’s response to me asking to view his Jotun form again was that of pure terror. He sat next to me on our shared bed, eyes frantically avoiding mine. He seemed a lot more timid than his usual confident disposition allowed. His hands were folded over his lap, fidgeting out of obvious discomfort at the idea of me seeing him resemble a frost giant.

The first time I saw Loki in his Jotun form, it was an accident. He was taking me on a tour of the castle vault, and all was well until I was left to my own devices. I wandered around the vault, admiring the architecture, as well as the artifacts, when I found myself walking backwards into the stand that held the Casket of Ancient Winters atop it. Loki happened to be in perfect range to step in and catch it as I knocked it off its pedestal, at the cost of revealing his birth form.

Amidst the chaos his panic created, he didn’t notice me watching the way his skin changed, or admiring the raised marks that accompanied its cerulean hue. I knew Loki was born on Jotunheim–and I knew of all the trials and tribulations this fact created throughout his childhood–but I’d never even heard Loki so much as mention the possibility of having another form connected to his Jotun roots. This was new to me. He replaced the Casket and rushed out of the vault before I could even form the words to tell him how beautiful he looked. How odd…

Since that day, I was determined to see him change again. It was like an obsession to me, the way it was constantly on my mind. I had to see Loki’s Jotun form again. I just had to. Now that I’d seen it once, I knew there was a part of him that I wasn’t experiencing all this time. I felt that I was missing out on sharing something important with my lover, and that didn’t sit well with me.

There were times I tried to hint at it subtly, only to get confused and alarmed looks from him in return. I should have expected him to catch on. Nothing flies over the head of the God of Mischief. There wasn’t any point to beating around the bush anymore. I decided to finally outright ask him to change forms, and this was the exact reaction I feared.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.” I asserted. “Nothing about you is monstrous. Nothing. Do you honestly think that I could love a monster?” Before he even had the chance to sarcastically respond to my rhetorical question, I beat him to it. “No, because I don’t.” I reached over and grabbed his hands in mine. “I love you, and I want to experience every part of you. Every single one. Because, I want to be able to love every single part of you.”

I could almost see the gears turning in his mind as he began to consider the idea. “I don’t believe you understand the true nature of my birth form.”

“Then show me.” I insisted. “Teach me everything I don’t know about you. Please… I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide from me.”

“You will regret this, love.” With a defeated sigh, Loki conceded.

He made sure to remove my hands from his before the familiar green flash of his seidr marked his transformation. My breath hitched at the sight of all the changes to his appearance.

His skin turned an icy blue, and his face sported markings in the form of raised lines. His eyes, formerly a similar blue, now watched me intently with a ruby red, awaiting my response.

“Loki,” I breathed, my heart swelling with the joy of finally being able to see him like this again. “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”

He quickly looked away, ashamed. “As sweet as your lies sing to me, please don’t.”

“I would never lie to you.” I leaned in and slowly reached out my hand.

He flinched at first, but allowed me to cup his face, the chill of his skin cooling my hand. “How do you not hate this?”

“I’ve said, already,” I smirked at him. “I love you, and if this is you—which I know it is—then I love this, too.”

“But, I’m a monster…” Loki’s eyes began to glass over with tears, but none dared to spill over his cheeks.

“No, you’re not.” I leaned in until I could feel the chill radiating off of his face against my own. “You were only told that for far too long.”

“It’s all I’ve ever known.” He sadly confessed.

My heart shattered for him. It wasn’t fair that he had to face horrible treatment just because of where he came from. Growing up, he was constantly dehumanized by his own father. Politics didn’t exactly allow Asgardians to empathize with Jotuns. Loki didn’t have a clue as to why he was treated so poorly his whole life until his adult years. No wonder he hid himself for so long. He didn’t deserve to live like that. Not at all. I was determined to make sure he would never experience that kind of pain again.

“That’s awful.” I frowned. “I promise you that I’ll make you feel loved, no matter what you look like.” I leaned in and pecked the tip of his nose. “I guarantee it.”

I brought my other hand up to cup the other side of his face before pulling him into a kiss. I felt him tense up for a moment, but a sudden chill on my back accompanied the motion of him wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him.

When he deepened the kiss, it was colder than I expected it to be. Every point of contact I had with him sent a chill into my body, but I wasn’t cold. It was a comfortable chill. It was authentically Loki, and I wanted to explore this as far as I could go.

He pulled me onto him in a straddling position, our bodies crashing together as my hands wandered along the leather covering his back. I wanted to feel all of him. Since he swapped forms, it was like I fell in love all over again, and I was once again kissing him for the first time.

I was ravenous, wanting to touch as much of Loki as I could get my hands on, but I was also careful, fearing what could make him uncomfortable. My worries were put to rest when I felt a light twitch underneath me, and my own ache to have him began to build within me.

As we pulled apart, I left my hands cupped around his face, slowly tracing his markings with my thumbs. He’s just so beautiful~

“My desire for you could drive me to madness, darling.” He breathed, a smile ghosting his lips. “I do hope you’re aware.”

“I am.” I softly giggled.

“That being said, I have to have you, my dear.” His voice deepened to a growl. “Just give me a moment to return to my usual appearance.”

“Wait!” I interjected. “Why can’t I take you like this?”

“Are you off your rocker?!” Loki fired back, terror creeping back into his eyes.

“Maybe I am,” I retorted, “But I know that I want you like this, and you can’t change my mind on that.”

He just stared at me in utter shock, unmoving and unspeaking.

As the silence hung between us, an idea slowly crept into my mind. “There’s actually something I’d like to try, if you don’t mind.”

Loki let out a deep sigh, the shock in his expression lessening.“If you’re absolutely sure you want this, then I’ll be at your mercy. But, the moment something happens to you-”

“It won’t.” I cut in. “Because I know you won’t let anything happen to me.”

Loki frowned in disbelief, muttering, “Your optimism is dangerous.”

I stood up off of the bed, beckoning for him to follow me. “First, I want to see all of you. Would you mind stripping?”

“As you wish.” Loki lowered his head, his seidr removing his clothes with a flash.

I let out a soft gasp out of awe at the view. The icy hue continued from his head to his toes, as did the raised markings in his skin. They decorated his shoulders, chest, legs, and even his-

I felt arousal begin to pool between my thighs at the sight of his ornate length. “Loki…”

He looked back up at me, clearly anxious for my response. “Is this what you wanted?”

I quickly approached him and cupped his face in my hands, kissing him again. “It’s everything and more.” Loki’s cheeks blushed a light purple as I took him by the hand and led him across the bedroom to stand in front of a full-length mirror. “Do you trust me?”

“I trust you with everything I have, just as I’ve always done.” He responded, and I just knew he was being genuine. I could almost feel it emanating from his words.

“Kneel, my love.” I softly commanded.

Loki knelt in front me, exactly where I placed him. I smiled warmly down at him, stroking his cheek before moving to sit right behind him, looking over his shoulder at the mirror.

I looked over his reflection, my eyes lingering at how he instinctively spread his thighs as he sat on his heels, allowing his semi-erect cock to hang in the middle of the sinful display. He was almost ready, and fully accessible to me. I felt my ache for him thrumming between my thighs, but I quickly refocused on my mission when I noticed that he refused to meet his reflection’s gaze, instead looking away from me and the mirror entirely.

“Look, Loki.” I lightly coaxed his face back towards the mirror by his chin. “Look at how beautiful you really are.” I dropped my other hand near his inner thigh. “May I?”

“Please,” I could see eagerness flash in his eyes as he glanced at my reflection before looking back at his own.

I began to lightly rub along his thigh, my heart fluttering at his resulting shiver. “I want you to see how perfect you are as you’re overcome with pleasure.” His eyes fluttered closed as he shivered again, and I paused my motions. “Watch.” I reminded him.

His eyes flew open at my command. “Yes, of course.”

“Yes, what?” I felt a proud smirk tugging at the corners of my lips.

“Yes, mistress.” He corrected himself.

“There’s my sweet prince.” I sighed my praise as I resumed my motion on his thigh, noticing the twitch of his cock at my words. I began kissing him messily along his neck as my hand continued to tease him. When I brought my free hand up to trace the marks on his chest, I noticed the tension in his shoulders slowly melting away.

“M- Mistress, please…” He let out a low moan. “Please, I need more…” A bead of precum gathered at the tip of his fully grown erection, which now began to shine with a deep blush of purple, similar to that of his cheeks.

I moved from his neck to whisper in his ear, “If you want it, then you’ll have it.” I stroked his face with my free hand. “A work of art like you deserves to be worshiped and praised.” I lightly nipped his ear. “And I’ve been blessed with the privilege to make sure that you are. Now, sit tight, my prince.”

I rose to my feet and moved, swift as the wind, to our dresser for lubricant to cover my hand with before returning to my original place with Loki in front of the mirror. “Tonight, I plan on fucking you with my hand, leaving your whole body on display for the both of us. I want you to see that you are no monster. You’re a masterpiece, and deserve to be treated as such.” I gave his shoulder a light squeeze with my free hand. “If you wish to stop at any time, you can always use our safe word. You remember it, don’t you?”

“I do.” His words were just above a whisper.

“Very good.” I kissed him on the cheek. “Then let’s begin.” I started to slowly stroke his cock with my lubricated hand, earning another shudder, accompanied by a contented sigh, from him. “I just have one rule for you…” Loki turned his head to look at me with curiosity before I softly turned it back to the mirror with my free hand. “You have to watch the whole time.”

“Ah- Mmm…” He let out a clipped moan before responding. “Yes, mistress.”

“Very good.” I slowly stroked all the way from the base of his cock to the tip before swirling my thumb in small circles on the head and stroking back to the base. Each time I teased the head, a small growl emanated from the back of his throat, only to crescendo into another moan when I stroked back down to the base.

I felt each of his markings against my hand with every stroke, and I wondered for a moment how they would feel against my inner walls. I felt arousal thrumming between my thighs again. Focus, damnit!

But, focusing was difficult. No matter how I looked at Loki, my eyes always returned to his elaborately decorated cock. It was as if I walked into an opulent dining room, only to end up staring at the shiny centerpiece all throughout dinner. It was the center of attention in an already artistic scene. I struggled to find the perfect words to convey these thoughts, so I kept my praise simple.

“You have such a pretty cock~” My words were a sultry whisper against his skin, accompanied by the kisses that I peppered along his jaw. “I can’t wait to pleasure it in every way I know how. Would you like that, my prince?”

“Y- Mmm… Yes, mistress.” Loki struggled to respond between moans.

“I would like that, too.” I peeked up at the mirror to make sure that he was still looking. He was. How obedient~

Not only was I filled with the pride of seeing him willing to do as he was told, but I also noticed the way his chest moved with each heavy breath he took, which it typically did when I dominated him. His breathing would grow labored as I teased him before he finally found the words—or word fragments—to beg me for more.

His hair also didn’t change. It tumbled down his angular face in its usual raven locks, the smallest of curls lying slick against his forehead as a sheen of sweat glued them there.

And just under it were his eyes. Though they shone a bright red, his pupils were blown wide with lust, leaving a sliver of red around the edges. Save for their usual blue color, his eyes looked exactly the same as they usually did. It was comforting to see that even though he changed, there were familiar parts of him to remind me that he was still my Loki.

Although, change is nice~ I thought as I allowed my free hand to roam his chest again, tracing the markings until I approached his hips. I reached down and began to fondle his balls, still keeping pace on his cock with my lubricated hand. His eyes were lidded as he quickly neared an ecstasy-born stupor. He used one of his hands to steady himself on the ground as the other wound into his hair, ruffling it with each pass he made with his fingers.

“Yes, I would love to please you.” I continued my earlier thought. “To worship you like the god you are. You deserve that. You deserve to have someone willing to offer you their service. Even as your mistress, I wish to satisfy you.” I sped up the pace of my hand on his cock, and a whimper escaped his throat. “You look so regal, my love. Do you see it? Do you see how, even as you sit bare in front of me, you still look elegant enough to sit upon the Asgardian throne?”

“N- no, mistress…” Loki’s voice cracked as he let out another moan.

“Hm. That’s unfortunate.” I mused. “Maybe someday I should suck you off as you’re seated upon it. I’m sure that would help you see what I see.”

Loki bucked his hips into my hand. “M- mistress…” His voice curled into a light sound that almost resembled a whimper. “Feels good… Feels so- Mmm… good…”

“It’s about time you felt something other than pain while showing this part of who you are.” I trailed kissed back up his neck to his ear before whispering, “You’re still watching?” I glanced at the mirror to see him still looking, just as I’d asked him to. “That’s my sweet prince. I’m so glad you’re heeding my directions tonight. This is all for you, after all.”

“Yes, mistress.” Loki gritted his teeth, his eyes squeezing shut in pleasure before they shot back open as he remembered my command. “M- Mistress…?”

“Yes, my love?” I felt a small surge of concern rush through me. “Is something wrong?”

The soft whine he let out clued me in to what was happening before he even responded. “I- I’m close… Mmm- May I cum? …Please?” His last plea was no more than a breathy whisper. He needed this. Desperately. And who would I be to deprive him of it?

“Cum for me, my prince.” I purred. “You’ve been so good tonight. You deserve to. Come on, show me how your pretty cock looks when it’s dripping with cum.”

“Ohhh, mistress… Ah-” Loki practically screamed my name as his eyes rolled back, ropes of cum painting his thigh in a milky white.

I helped him ride out his high as his cock twitched in my hand, spilling his seed. Every time I thought he’d finished, he’d release what seemed to be another load with a roaring moan and a full-body shiver. I just kept stroking his cock while softly kissing along his neck and praising him until the last of it slowly dripped out over my fingers and he was left panting.

“That’s it, my prince.” I sighed against his neck. “You were so good for me. I’m so proud of you.” I finally let go of his cock and brought my hand to my mouth to slowly lick the cum off of my fingers. “Mmm, and you taste so good~”

“Mmm, darling,” Loki’s voice wavered as he took on a cautionary tone. “If you carry on like that, I just might grow hard again.”

“Then I’ll have no choice but to take care of you again.” I playfully walked my now clean fingers up his shoulder. “And again… and again… and again…”

“I like the sound of that.” He chuckled softly as our eyes moved back to the mirror in front of us.

I looked him over again, my eyes lingering over each part of him, almost as if my brain could take a snapshot his beauty. His hair was thoroughly ruffled, sweat shone on each curve of his skin, and his cock hung limply between his thighs once again, having spent its cum onto one of them. I watched as it began to slide down his thigh, following the raised markings before nearing the floor.

“You truly admire this, don’t you?” Loki’s question interrupted my thoughts.

“I do.” I answered without hesitation. “And I won’t be satisfied until you do, too.”

“You stubborn woman.” Loki lightly chuckled. “I will say, if this is the treatment my Jotun form entitles me to, then maybe it’s a sight I could get used to.”

I couldn’t keep back the cheesy grin my mouth curved into. “I’ll take it.” I crawled around him to sit between him and the mirror, holding my hands out to him.

He smirked and took my hands in his. “I feel compelled to thank you.”

I cocked my head in curiosity. “Hm? What for?”

He leaned closer to me, and I leaned in to meet him in the middle, electricity crackling in the air between us. “For loving the ugliest parts of me, and cherishing the things that I’ve only ever frowned upon.”

“Oh, Loki,” I squeezed his hand. “You take yourself too seriously. As soon as you stop criticizing yourself, I know you’ll lead a happier life.” I brought the same hand up to my lips to brush a soft kiss onto it. “Now, come on. You must be tired. Let me clean you up, and then we can cuddle for the rest of the night.”

“Of course.” Loki’s eyes conveyed a sweet sense of innocence… It was too sweet. He must have had other plans.

My suspicions were confirmed when he leaned in towards my ear and whispered. “Though, I believe I still have some dues to pay before we carry on with our night. Don’t you?”

I felt my ache for him quickly returning all at once. “Oh, you-”

Before I could finish my teasing remark, Loki had me trapped in another kiss.

#loki laufeyson #smut #marvel #marvel fanfic #loki fanfic #loki #loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki x female reader smut #marvel smut #loki mcu #mcu loki #mcu fanfiction #loki fic #loki smut #loki fanfiction #loki odinson #smut fanfiction #fem reader

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magicalqueennightmare · 2 years ago

Text

I Meant You

Sometimes Tony's meddling ends up being a good thing

Drinking games gone right

Warnings: Cursing, mention of kissing and steam (ish) themes

You glanced up from where you'd been laid back across Wanda's legs when Tony walked in whistling. "Uh oh" the downside of the compound when there were no missions or no big event to attend? Tony tended to get bored and a lot of times you all were dragged into it.

"Tony" you warned cautiously but he just smiled "C'mon now sparky we need some fun and I've got just the idea" you groaned under your breath glancing around the room and realizing just why Tony had summoned all of you to the media room "What's the idea?" Nat asked coming to sit next to you and Wanda, curling her legs under her gracefully. "Well I have a few bottles out of my personal collection for us mere mortals and Thor brought some mead from home for the super soldiers and demi gods amongst us"

"You called us all here to drink?" Sam spoke up but Tony shook his head "Not just drink. We're gonna do some team building exercises" you narrowed your eyes "Drinking games" he pointed to you with a smirk "first point goes to sparky for figuring it out!"

You rolled your eyes but honestly? It sounded kind of fun. Hell it wasn't like most of you ever got the chance to have downtime and a lot of you had never had a normal upbringing so why not cut loose a little? Or maybe the appearance of a certain brunette super soldier wandering into the room with Steve and Thor perked your attention.

Bucky had moved into the compound a while back, after Steve and Sam's prompting. Your quarters were on the opposite ends of the same floor. Of course you'd known stories about him, both as the winter soldier from the S.H.I.E.L.D. files and as Bucky from Steve.

You didn't judge him for the winter soldier stories, you knew those codes were far gone out of his head and he was no longer a threat in that way. He'd shied away a lot, only talking if you prompted first and honestly you hadn't thought he liked you at all until one night he'd been plagued with back to back nightmares.

You hadn't been able to sleep so you'd headed for the kitchen that was the middle mark of your floor. Tony had them all strategically lined up, something about ventilation systems or something. You knew that he had the best espresso machines in every kitchen and that the fridge and pantry would be stocked.

You walked into the empty room and asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. if she could access your Playlists. She started playing one and you smiled, humming along with it before moving around the kitchen. You started a cup of espresso then headed for the pantry to see if any of the croissants Tony had brought still remained.

You'd walked out the pantry and nearly dropped the box of croissants because Bucky had spooked you. He moved so quietly and was so damn broad you hadn't been expecting him to be standing in the doorway. "Sorry doll. Didn't mean to scare you"

The small smile that was pulling at his lips made your stomach flip. Damn he was gorgeous, those damn blue eyes made you forget your train of thought for a moment before you recovered "Oh, it's fine Bucky. Did I wake you?"

He looked confused so you motioned to the lights and speakers "I couldn't sleep" he nodded "Yeah me neither" a silence fell so you held up the box in your hand "Ever had chocolate croissants?" He shook his head so you smiled "Ever had espresso?"

He shook his head again so you grinned "So I'll set the machine to make another cup and we'll head to the media room. Tony has like every movie known to man at our fingertips so we might as well take advantage right?" He looked unsure for a second "You sure you want the company?" "Of course! Bucky you're my team mate and I'd consider us friends. Friends hang out so let's hang out" he smiled "sounds good"

Since that night you and Bucky had started getting closer. He let you in on things only Steve knew and a few things Steve didn't. When you had a nightmare he was there to comfort you and vice versa. On missions you always ended up teamed together and any outing the avengers had to attend he'd be close to your side especially after the incident where you'd threatened a reporter for making statements towards him and Natasha about the redroom and hydra.

You'd started to develop feelings for him but damn who could blame you? He was gorgeous and sweet, strong but gentle. When you'd fall asleep against him and wake up in his arms it made your mind wonder to how it would be to truly be in his arms. How did he kiss? How would it feel when he touched you? When he pulled you close?

You knew that was a line that couldn't be crossed, no matter how you felt when he smiled and asked if he could sit with you even as Tony and Sam argued over what game all of you would play. "So what's Stark up to?" You shrugged "He wants to play never have I while Sam wants to play a twisted version of two truths and a lie"

You turned towards him and saw the confusion in his eyes "Bucky, you don't know either of those games do you?" He shook his head so you quickly explained the basics of both games, not only to him but to Steve and Thor as well.

By that time Tony and Sam were through arguing and turned to adress the room "We're playing never have I first if there's no interesting incidents we'll move onto two truths and a lie" "Set up" Sam motioned to the table so everyone grabbed a glass.

You were seated cross legged between Bucky and Nat. So far you'd taken two shots, Bucky had taken one of the mead while Nat was three shots in. Everyone around the table had taken at least one shot.

"Ok here's one" Nat spoke up and when you cut your eyes at her she gave you a wink "Never have I...had feelings for someone younger than me"

Tony took a shot considering he was married to Pepper who was two year younger than him. Wanda took a shot since technically Vision was younger than her. Steve and Thor both took a shot. What surprised you and made your thoughts run rampant was when Bucky gave you a small smile before tipping back a shot himself.

Who did he have feelings for? It couldn't be you no matter if the thought had been fleeting through your head. Could it be Nat? Or maybe Maria or even Sharon.

Of course he'd have feelings for someone, hell he was allowed to date same as the rest of you. No matter Iif the thought of him with someone else made your heart clench.

Bucky noticed how you went quiet at his side. You'd been laughing and joking over the various questions up until that point. Christ, had you figured out he meant you?

Maybe that's what was wrong. You knew he meant you when he took a shot for having feelings for someone younger than him and didn't feel the same.

He didn't want to make you uncomfortable, hell you were one of his closest friends now. When he'd moved into the compound he hadn't been sure anyone would trust him, not that he blamed them. You on the other hand had been one of the first to greet him with a smile.

You were beautiful and smart. You were able to think on your feet during missions and always did the headcount once everyone was back on the jets to ensure no one was left behind. You'd defended him and Natasha alike to the press.

More than one night when neither of you could sleep you'd end up in the media room watching some movie you'd clicked on. He hadn't cared about the movie as much as the company. You always slowed his mind down and help chase the demons out.

The first time you'd curled up into his side he'd been sitting with his arm across the back of the couch. You were sitting hip to hip with him citing that the movie had freaked you out a bit but you refused to not finish it. He hadn't minded you getting closer. The movie was almost finished when he realized your head was leaned over on his shoulder where the metal of his arm met with flesh.

He hadn't been sure if he should wake you or not. As he sat there you snuggled closer to him and despite himself he found a smile working its way onto his face. He'd let his mind wonder what it would be like for you to be in his arms in earnest, to feel your lips against his.

He'd never meant to fall for you, it just sort of happened and now had he inadvertently pushed you away by half admitting his feelings?

You shook yourself from the shock of Bucky admitting he had feelings for someone to clear your throat "Ok here's one, never have I had merchandise of me" you laughed when damn near everyone in the room aside from yourself, Bucky, Wanda and Maria took a shot. "Ok Sparky you got me on that one. My turn. Never have I threw a punch on reporters" you, Nat, Sam and Maria all took shots.

You leaned a little closer to Bucky, trying to get your mind off the question of who he had feelings for. You missed the look Nat shot Sam who spoke up "Never have I had feelings for someone older than me" you leaned up to glare at him before taking a shot. Luckily you weren't the only one, Nat and Maria both took a shot which opened a whole new line of questions.

You avoided Bucky's eyes when he bumped your arm with his. He leaned down next to your ear "Is it Steve?:" you shook your head slightly "Nope" "C'mon now didn't think we had too many secrets any more" you turned to face him, thoughts escaping you at those blue eyes staring back "Yes I have feelings for someone older than me, way older but no it's not Steve"

You felt everyone's eyes on you which made heat rush up your neck. Normally you could handle it but given the amount you'd drank mixed with the fact that Bucky clearly had meant someone else was too much. You downed the shot in front of you before standing up "Excuse me. I've got to use the bathroom" you turned and walked quickly out the room with intentions to hide in your quarters long enough to let the embarrassment pass.

Maybe you could convince Bucky you meant Loki or Sif?

The moment you left the room every set of eyes landed firmly on Bucky "Tin man are you really that dense?" Tony was the first to speak up. Bucky was trying to comprehend what had just happened "What the hell did I do Stark?"

"She means you man!" Sam shoved him when he spoke. "What? No she doesn't" Bucky argued which made Nat stand up and walk over to him "Dammit I know her better than anyone. She's had feelings for you for a while and you've had feelings for her. Man up, go chase her" "and if you're wrong?" He asked so Nat pointed towards Tony "I will let him take out a billboard that says Natasha was wrong for once"

----------

Bucky headed in the direction you'd went knowing you were more than likely in your quarters. The closer he got the clearer he could make out the faint music slipping under the door. It was that band you loved.

He paused for a second before finally knocking. The moment the door opened he saw your eyes widen "Damn I was hoping for Natasha" he shrugged "I can go get her?" He started to walk off but you grabbed his arm, your fingers curling around the cool vibranium of his palm. "Wait, Bucky what did you need?"

He looked down where you were holding his hand and a smile slipped onto his face. "I meant you" the words escaped without any thought behind them but the moment they were out in the air he didn't want to take them back.

----------

You froze, fingers digging into Bucky's hand slightly. He meant you? "Are you saying that to save my feelings because Nat told you I meant you?" He smirked slightly "Actually Nat, Tony and Sam told me you'd meant me but no I'm not saving feelings. I meant you"

You stood there for a second before Bucky moved, his right hand cupping the side of your face "Can I kiss you?" You nodded and he smiled before leaning down to capture your lips with his.

He tasted sweet, the honey of the mead prominent in flavor and on his tongue. You sighed slightly and felt him relax into you as he deepened the kiss. His left hand went to your waist pulling you flush against him even as you were forced to pull away in need of air "Well damn" you breathed out and he smiled "That a good reaction?" You laughed breathlessly "The best. Now please kiss me again"

#bucky x you #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader

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ultralightpoe · 10 months ago

Text

Vigilante Shit - Bucky Barnes

Authors Note: Never liked this one which is why it stayed in the drafts fr so long, it just always seemed empty. It's definitely missing something.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Word Count:9,131

Warnings: Cuss words, reader was once apart of the red room

Apart of my MIDNIGHTS EVENT.

Main Masterlist

Enjoy!

Draw the cat eye, sharp enough to kill a man

You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them

Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie

They say looks can kill and I might try

I don't dress for women

I don't dress for men

Lately I've been dressing for revenge

It’s the pity on her face that makes you want to claw her eyes out, or maybe the happy family photo sitting on her desk staring and taunting you with their stupid smiling faces. Each of her children smiled like nothing was wrong in the world, like they didn’t have to worry about earning their way or surviving the day.

Dr. Aquinos children would never know pain.

But that was a given, they weren’t bought and sold off. They weren’t tortured and abused for years only to be torn out when Natasha fucking Romanoff decides to free everyone from that chain and force them into the real world.

Did it make you pathetic to say you missed it?

In the red room you had a cot, a meal at least once a day and training. Out here you were no one. No trace of you existed. No ids, or photos, no friends or family. You were nothing.

Even ghosts had more than you at this point.

“You know it’s common to feel this way about it? That longing to have it back? It’s the pain and the change, you feel like you have nothing right now but I can assure you that’s not true.”

You say nothing.

“Have you given any thought to our last session?” The therapist asks, voice saccharine amount of sweet that tells you she knows your looking for a fight today and she won’t be giving into it. You hated that she knew you would try that, you hated these sessions all together.

“Yes.” Lie. And judging by the quirk in her smile she knows it too.

“I think it’s extremely important for you in this next step, to get rid of the suit. What was it they called you?” You don’t reply for a minute, your own little form of rebellion, but she doesn’t let you get away with it for long. “The…. Cobra?”

“The. Viper.” You bite out, grinding your teeth together and fisting your hands at your side. “The Red Viper to be exact.”

“Can you explain to me why it is you got that name? I mean your other counter parts all follow a …..widow theme….. but you don’t?”

“It just….. happened that way.” You lie. “How much longer do we have?”

Why did she not have a clock?

“Ah. So the story has something to do with Bucky Barnes.” She smiles and you fight back the sneer.

“Nope.”

“You always ask for the time when memories of him are brought up.”

Not. True. You don’t bother arguing because that might prove her point.

“Can you recall what he looked like?”

A flash of ice blue crosses your mind, his eyes. Followed by roses and ballet slippers. A small opening to freedom right there in your grasp, his smiling face….. replaced by that of betrayal, the pain and torture you suffered for weeks after because he-

“No.” You lie. “I only knew him as the winter soldier.”

“Have you tried reaching out?”

“No. And I never will.” Not until you were able to kill him, get your revenge.

Your therapist didn’t know about your revenge list though,she would have you imprisoned for it. The list of names of every mastermind and agent that did you wrong, and at the very end of the list was the one person you actually managed to trick you, the one person you gave everything you had left to.

Bucky Barnes would be the last person you killed in this life, and you would make sure to enjoy every second of it.

It’s not everyday they pull you from your training program and load you into a transportation vehicle, and you don’t know whether to be scared or excited by the change in routine.

You decide on excitement, because a widow is never. Ever. Scared.

The keepers transporting you all avoid eye contact and you bite back the smirk, knowing that you installed that fear when you bit the thumb off the last guard that tried to touch you inappropriately. You might be hydras toy but you were not a plaything for these half wits.

“Your mission will be in direct partnership with the Winter Soldat.” The agent in front of you explains, watching you load up your widow uniform with hidden weapons “there’s a list of names that needs to be taken care of, and it might take a minute so they are pairing you both. They want no mistakes, only the best.”

“No traces no trails. No chances.” You answer, already having it memorized, biting down on your tongue when you remember the poor girl you left as a witness to your last mission.

Hydra never found out, but her scared scream when she caught you killing her father will haunt you.

You wondered if you might have had someone to scream over at one point.

“He won’t speak to you so don’t bother.” The agent grunts as the vehicle comes to a stop and he slams his fist on the side to let them know it’s safe to open the doors.

They all cast you another look as you try not to roll your eyes at the drama. If you truly wanted out of this vehicle you could slaughter them all, you just knew that hydra would track you down no matter what so what was the point?

They lead you down hundreds of gray halls, each getting darker than the last and the smell of mold and desperation heightened with each step. Finally at the very last cell door they all raise their weapons and slide it open, muttering something in Russian before a figure emerges.

The glint of his arm catches on the shit light above you first, and then he is there, glowering and confused in the same go.

“Soldat. This is the widow.” His mentor speaks in Russian, gesturing to you which makes the soldier give you one look. That’s it. One brief look of disdain and he goes back to looking at the mentor like you weren’t even there.

This mission is going to go well.

“You’re making progress Bucky.” Dr. Raynor hums, her eyes glinting as she watches him over the pad of paper she hasn’t scribbled on in the past hour. He likes to think that it’s a good sign, but he also tries not to get into his own head about it. “But I’d like to go a little deeper if you’ll let me.”

“Don’t really have a choice doc.” He mutters, but his tone lacks the usual bite.

“Funny. Have you slept in a bed recently?”

“I’ve made it to at least 3 hours of sleep in my bed.” He nods, not mentioning he thought the laundry detergent smelled like your shampoo.

“You bought any home decorations? Anything at all?”

“There’s a welcome mat by the front door.”

“Inside or outside?”

“…..inside.” He wasn’t brave enough to put it out in the hall yet.

“I just want a house that has a welcome mat and that cookie smell. Something to call home.” Those were your words, whispered to him the night before the soldier…..

“Tell me what you have been up to lately.”

“Lunches with Yori….missions with Sam…. And I’ve been…. Trying to find someone.”

“Someone from your time as the soldier?”

“Yes.” His throat is tight and he might throw up.

“For revenge?”

“No…. Well she might want revenge…… I just want her.” He admits.

Dr. Raynors eyebrows shoot up, and she tries to keep neutral as she asks the next question. “The viper then?”

“She didn’t like that name.”

“How did she get it?”

“Me.”

“And what did you call her if she didn’t like the name?”

“Flower.”

I don't start it but I can tell you how it ends

Don't get sad, get even

So on the weekends

I don't dress for friends

Lately I've been dressing for revenge

The roof of the bagel shop on the stupid block you were on was probably the worst spot to be.

Best, if you’re focusing on the fact that it’s the perfect hideout for the sniper gun you are aiming and the fact that you’re able to lay at a slant so your legs don’t falls asleep while you focus.

Terrible for the fact that you could smell the pizza shop next door perfectly, and your stomach was beginning to rumble in hunger.

But you had to focus, your target was supposed to be in his apartment right now, Viktor Aubrel, the man that sold you in the first place.

Your intel told you he should have been home an hour ago and yet you were still waiting in the winter air that sent a shiver up your spine, too focused on the aim to realize the two figures now on the roof.

“Are the widows that oblivious now?” A deep voice laughs causing you to whirl, knife out as you spot none other than the winter soldier and the new captain america, both watching you.

It was the captain that taunted you, a sneer making its way into your lips as you prepare yourself to launch. The winter soldier extends a hand out, blocking the captain with a skeptical look.

“Sam. A little forewarning, she doesn’t fight like the others.” He mumbles and you all but hiss, not giving either of them a moment before you’re launching at them.

They track your movements well, both standing to fight as you run across the roof, jumping up on the ledge to give you the upper advantage and launch yourself at them. Starting with the easier target, the man with the shield. Wrapping your arms around his neck and spinning your body until you have his weight thrown in the air. He manages to catch himself standing but you’re ahead of the game, jumping so your feet are planted on his chest and shoving him off the roof right as the winter soldier gets to you.

“I don’t want to do this.” He mutters and you hiss again, lunging with a knife out, slashing expertly over and over as he dodges as much as he can. “You don’t need to do this.”

The knife catches in the elbow of his metal arm and his flesh hand comes up to grab your wrist so you twist, kicking his knee down and flick another knife from your uniform.

“I want to.” You mutter in Russian, voice dripping with disdain as you raise the knife and bring it down. Only to get blasted across the roof.

The air leaves your lungs as you skid across the concrete of the roof, splayed out staring at the sky and blinking away the pain.

“She’s quicker than the rest.” Captain America huffs, helping the soldier up.

“A lethal experiment. Taking a trained widow and injecting her with mutated blood of some guy named Logan Howlett.”

“Where does the viper come from?”

“Her knives are all laced with venom and poisons. One touch to your skin and it doesn’t matter if it was a fatal wound or not. You’re out.” You hear them both approach, pretending to be passed out before they get close enough and you can kick the soldier in the stomach. He catches your foot, twisting so your body would have to twist with it or break, but you’re already pulling out a knife and launching it at the other.

A shout of warning leaves the soldier's lips as the knife nearly gets his partner's thigh, you take this weakness and twist until you are wrapped around him and launching you both across the roof. But he is already working his way out, twisting so you slam into the roof once more, his metal arm on your throat holding you down as you claw at it.

Panic attacks your body, scratching at the metal as the captain comes into view.

“Stop. We can help you.” The man sighs.

“Y/n.” The soldier mumbles, eyes pleading. “Let us help-“

Your foot bends to smash into his jaw and send him sprawling back.

“That’s. Not. My. Name.” Your voice is scratchy from the choking and it hurts to talk, but you don’t have time since you’re already dashing to clear the roof.

But the captain throws his shield and hits your ankle sending you falling until Bucky catches you and twists you with his metal arm so your back was to his chest and he can hold you.

“It is. You told me so yourself. Remember?”

“I wanna see my life before all this. I want to see my family and tell them I’m alive. My name was y/n. I found my file and I just-“

You were disgusted that you ever told him such things.

“LET GO!”

“We can help with your list.” It’s the caption saying this, his face holding pity. “We can’t kill but we can help take them down. If you’re willing.”

“They all deserve to die!” The one holding you counted in that.

“I’m not arguing that. But I am setting boundaries. Justice by more death is not the way to do this.” The man tries to ease, attempting a smile. “I’m Sam. You already know Buck-“

“Let me go!”

“We’re proposing a partnership. We help you take them down, get them arrested and you don’t kill any of them.”

“Right. And I get thrown in a cell right after I’m assuming.” You sneer, trying not to focus on the scent of hazel and coffee coating your senses from the soldier.

“You will be pardoned. You had no choice back then and we are giving you one now. Pardoned.”

“And what do you mean by taking them down?” What choice did you have?

It had been a week with the soldier when he finally showed a small amount of emotion. Insane.

You had been huddled in the corner of the abandoned hotel you made camp in, keeping close to yourself for warmth as he pretended to sleep by the wall. You knew he wasn’t actually asleep, not trusting enough to do so. And you don’t know when he does get sleep, all you know is you fight to the last possible moment your eyelids can stay open and you don’t sleep long.

The exhaustion and the cold were beginning to wear you down, a week in and you had yet to kill a single person on this list because the Soldat refused to listen to how you can manage it. With him it’s all silent and watching, your missions were usually more lively. You wore disguises and set traps. Hydra liked sending messages and it’s what you did.

They want a quick and efficient widow? They send Belova. They want a widow that draws attention to their dangers? A prize possession? They send you.

Which is why this entire mission is so weird. Why send you if- before you can finish your thought you are being pelted with a warm jacket, the Soldat glaring at you.

“Your teeth chattering is keeping me up.” He mutters in Russian, sitting up and checking all his weapons.

“As if you sleep.” You reply back in Russian, rolling your eyes. His eyes flick to you in surprise for just a second before he trains them again, watching the window in the opposite corner. “What’s your name?”

“Soldat.”

“What’s your real name?”

“I….. should the viper be asking questions?” He snaps, glaring once more before you roll your eyes and stand up. He watches your every move as you toss his jacket back and cross the room. “Where are you going?”

“To be a viper.” You sneer back, enjoying the way the Russian makes the words bite out more.

He stands up quickly when you move to climb out the window but you send him a glare and descend quickly, making sure he does not follow.

When you get back three hours later, he is standing in the center of the room with his arms crossed and a glare on his features.

You simply walk past him to grab your list, crossing off the first name. “Can we get an actual hotel this time? I need to shower some of this blood off.”

As you move to walk past him his arm shoots out to grab you, pain erupting as he bends your neck to look at him. You would allow this, because is his anger is on you then he won’t look into the 2 little children you helped vanish tonight after you killed their father.

“You do not make moves without me. Understood?”

“Yes Soldat.” You try to nod before he lets go.

“Viper.” He hisses. And you would allow it, because if anyone knew what you had done you would be killed.

The three of you ended up in a warehouse not too far away from the roof you had been scouting on, bucky carrying your bag of weapons on his shoulder as he tried not to look at you while Sam paced back and forth.

You sat on a fallen beam, seeming bored and uninterested as you picked at your nails. But Bucky knew that was your game, to let the world think you were a valid assassin with little to no care.

But he knew you cared, he knew how much effort you had put into saving kids back then. You had always been so warm without even realizing it.

But maybe that all changed, after it….. all happened he hadn’t heard about you again and after he was freed by Steve he couldn't seem to find any of the children you had saved.

“What happened to them?” He finds himself asking, his chest pinching at the sight of you. His flower. But that look in your eyes, the betrayal and anger…..

“The first three on my list? I dumped their bodies in the river.” You smile, turning your glare to Sam. “How about that pardon now?”

“The kids. The ones that you-“ you stand before he can finish his sentence , both him and Sam preparing for a fight as you seem to try and ease yourself.

“What kids?” Sam snaps, anger and protectiveness rolling off of him. “Did you hurt-“

“No. She used to smuggle them out.” Bucky explains. “When she got missions if there was a kid in the family she would pretend to kill them, and help the kid out.”

“I thought hydra confirmed kills by bodies.”

“Not when you’re the best.” You smile, that vapid venomous smile that made Bucky's stomach churn. “And Soldat is right. I used to smuggle the kids out.”

His chest hurts at the name you use, but he assumes that it’s fair. “Where are they now?”

He wants you to look at him, to tell him they are all safe and that he didn’t ruin everything. But you keep your eyes trained away, pain flashing through your features as you explain. “After you…. Told them….. they got the names and locations from me and sent out the shadow widow.”

“Kaltain Amerie.” Sam nods, recognizing the name. She was married to a fancy rich guy now, had been the one Yelena found.

“She took care of what I couldn’t. She did the job.” You nod, hands fisting at your sides as the words clang into Bucky. “And I was punished for my failure.”

“And the missions you got after they caught you?” Sam asks, casting a brief look to bucky at the word caught.

“I had a partner, and they always made sure I did my job.” Fuck.

He was going to puke, how many kids had…..

“You mentioned an alliance. Not an interrogation.” You snap, obviously uncomfortable. “And if you want to revoke my pardon because of-“

“I don’t.” Sam says gently, nodding. “And I’m sorry that it happened.”

“I’m not.” It was a lie and Bucky could taste it. Anything to keep both of them away, that wall you built up when he first met you.

“Okay. The name on your list. Let’s talk about how to get him.” Bucky changes direction, wanting to get you to ease again, not liking the pain in your eyes.

You continue to avoid looking in his direction, and he continues to stare at only you.

She needed cold hard proof so I gave her some

She had the envelope, where you think she got it from?

Now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride

Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife

And she looks so pretty

Driving in your Benz

Lately she's been dressing for revenge

It’s a month into the mission when the Soldat tells you his name.

Gone were the days of sleeping on opposite sides of the room, now you both shared a bed. Gone were the days of him not sleeping, and he was now the one that fell asleep first.

Tonight being one of those nights, with you sitting against the headboard of the hotel bed, his forehead pressed into your thigh as he falls asleep slowly, letting you play with his hair as you review footage of your next name. The third on the list.

“My name….” He mutters, this time in English which still shocks you everytime he does. “It’s Bucky.”

“Bucky?” It tastes like vanilla on your tongue, your chest lightening as you whisper it a couple more times. “I like it.”

“What’s yours?”

“My file…. My file says Y/n.” You whisper back and he tilts his head up to look at you.

“You don’t seem to like it.”

“I….. it just doesn’t feel real.” You admit. “It feels wrong for me to use it.”

“I think it’s a wonderful name. It suits you well but… I think you’re my flower.” He murmurs back, moving to press his forehead into your thigh once more and finally lets sleep claim him.

The next morning you both work in tandem, cleaning weapons, he gives you time to make sure that your knives are still potent with venom as you try to come up with a plan to get the 5 year old girl out of the country without the soldier knowing.

But the betrayal of it hurts your chest, watching him work around you as a smooth unit. A team. That’s what you had become.

“Ready?” He asks in Russian, coming up to fix the hair that had fallen out of your braid, using his flesh hand to push it behind your ear as his thumb traces your jaw.

“Always. You?”

“With you my little flower? Always.”

It was ironic the way you and the Soldat still worked in tandem, moving with an effortless grace.

Sam, the captain, watches with wide eyes as you both move around each other.

“Do we have-“

“Yes we have enough intel.” You snap, closing the camera footage the second you spot the young boy running down the hall of the mansion when both him and his mom get home. The pain in your chest could be blamed on the image, and or the stupid soldier standing too close to you. “I can smell your breath.”

“He ate a cheeseburger for lunch again?” Sam chuckles and you stand straight, giving him wide eyes as the Soldat rolls his own. “You know you can’t get in trouble for calling him an idiot, right?”

“I’m aware.” Your words come out clipped and you try not to shudder at the way Sam snickers, catching your lie.

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

“Call Barnes a dumbass.”

“I won’t speak to the Soldat.” You reply, moving to clean your knives.

“Oh come on. Try it. It helps me..” sam laughs, sitting across from you at the kitchen counter as the Soldat shuffles closer to help you clean the knives. You could feel the warmth radiating off of him.

“You….. are a dumbass.” You squeak out, not looking at him. You hear him snort behind you and he reaches across to grab another knife. You roll your eyes at the way he presses his body next to yours.

“That was lame. Try again.” Sam laughs.

“Fine. You’re a DUMBASS!” You snap out, watching both their eyes widen before laughs break out and they start cracking up.

You feel your stiff spine loosen a little, the anxiety easing as you start laughing as well, all three of you cackling. His flesh hand finds its way to your lower back to keep you stable as you both drop the knives to laugh. And finally, after three weeks of working with them you drop the angry front, and give in to their warmth even though everything in you screams to not fall for it.

“Is this….. proper mission food?” You ask from the spot you had taken at the window, watching Bucky and Sam come in with pizza boxes and beer in their hands, both laughing at each other .

Bucky had, sort of tripped up on the stairs which sent Sam in a spiral of making fun of him, but the second they laid eyes on you that humor fell out the window, both going quiet.

“You don’t think pizza and beer are good?” Sam asks, offended. “This is the best combo.”

“Is it…. Allowed?” You ask again and Bucky feels that pang in his chest before he passes the box to you and opens it smoothly.

“You get the first slice pick.” He offers and Sam gasps at the counter.

“That….. oh that’s just cruel to me.”

“It’s an honor to pick the first slice then?” You quirk your eyebrow, humor written on your face, the spark in your eyes setting him on fire. “This is a New York custom?”

“Oh indeed.” He smiles, pushing the box closer to you. “It would be a great dishonor to refuse this.”

There is a second of discomfort, he watches you contemplate it before you reach for a slice, grabbing the largest slice and raising your eyebrows as you wait to see their reactions.

“Perfect choice!” Sam grunts, reaching around you to grab another slice.

“I was going to choose that one.” Bucky smiles, watching you bite it immediately then stick out your tongue at him before taking up a spot on the couch as both of them find their own seats in the living room. You seem tense still, obviously not used to this sort of freedom anymore and his lungs constrict at the thought that this was caused by him.

Back then you had been so… warm and open. Even as an agent you melted the ice exterior the soldier had around him. And through the muddled haze of his memory every memory attached to you was always crystal clear, like a flame in the fog.

“So…. you guys knew each other back when he was the Winter Soldier?” Sam asks, popping the lid off of a beer with ease, he leans forward on his knees and pretends to be more interested in the pizza box. Making it seem like he was an open book, a comforting thing.

“Yeah, we had a long list of enemies that they wanted us to deal with.” You answer, looking to the window rather than either of them.

“It seems like it went wrong…”

“It went fine.” Bucky is quick to snap.

“It was fine. We made it through half the list, before Hydra had to get involved.” You snap as well moving to set the rest of your slice on the plate left on the table for you. “I made a mistake.”

“It wasn’t-” Bucky goes to argue, chest tight.

“I let emotions muddle my task.” You explain to Sam. “I got too attached and ruined it. And then I got caught smuggling the kids out- I was further reported for my behavior and handled accordingly.”

“Hey, this isn’t Hydra.” Sam tries to ease you. “I think what you did was very noble and-”

“All I did was give kids hope where it didn’t belong.” You sneer. “I will never allow myself that weakness again.”

You cast Bucky a glare, his palms sweating and chest blistering as he watches you disappear into the bathroom and the shower running a second later.

Sam continues watching Bucky, eyebrows pinched together. “You reported it?”

“I… as much as I broke away at that time I was still under the soldiers spell.” Bucky admits, gulping down half the beer in his hand. “I…. I had sent in a mission report. Well I had to send it in and I had caught her plan a little bit before that.”

“I’m sorry that happened, Buck.”

“I am too.” He sighs. “I got rewarded and she… well they broke her.”

She don't start it, but she can tell you how it ends

Don't get sad, get even

So on the weekends

She don't dress for friends

Lately she's been dressing for revenge

“You need to be careful in the upper levels.” He warns, keeping his flesh hand on the small of your back as you both move to start scaling the side of the house.

“I know.” You growl out, keeping your voice low as his eyebrows pinch in frustration. “Don’t be a worry wart.”

“Stick to my side.”

“The job is quicker if I take care of the kids.” You mumble, leaning up to kiss his cheek lightly, the closest you had ever gotten to actually kissing him, no matter how much you wanted to. Three months with him and you were hopelessly in love.

“Fine.” He grunts out, his Russian sharp. He nods once before moving to his starting point, checking that you had begun scaling the wall to the kids room before heading in to handle the parents. But you had been so caught up in Bucky that you didn’t check to make sure both the children were asleep.

The girl screamed first, followed by the boy and you began rushing to ease their worries, kneeling by them and trying to swipe the tears away. “No no. Easy my little ones. It’s okay. I just need you to listen-”

But the boy screams again, this time at something behind you which makes you whirl to find Bucky in the frame of the door, watching intently with blood on his arm.

“No! Please!” You beg, up on your feet and shoving yourself in front of the children as he cocks his head to the side. “Please.”

“Move.” He orders, raising his gun. It seems he’s already assessed the weakness and was willing to handle the problem. “Now.”

“No!” You hadn’t even realized that tears were falling down your face until you could taste the salt, moving forward to grab his gun. “Please!”

“The mission-”

“They are children.” Both of you were speaking Russian, which seemed to be scaring the kids even more as they wailed, and you turned to ease them again. They dash into your arms, holding you tight as they sob. You would die before letting anything happen to them.

When you turn to see him again you see that he has lowered the gun and is merely staring at you, something sparking in his eyes.

You wait for the blow, but it never comes. Instead he nods his head and moves to pick up the boy. He helps you get them out, aboard a ship and hidden from Hydra. When you make it back to the hotel you pace a bit, waiting for him to finish you off.

But he merely stands in the center of the room, watching you closely.

“I’m sorry.” You sob, hand on your chest as you turn to him finally. “I failed the mission and-”

He moves forward in three easy strides, his hands grasping your jaw to bring you up into a searing kiss, arms wrapping around you tightly as he lifts you off the ground to keep you close. And all anxieties peel away, as he lifts his hand to undo your suit. Giving yourself to the soldier that night, and once you were done you stay huddled together, whispering your dreams of the past and future.

And for once you felt like…. You were home.

The next morning tensions were gone, and you seemed to have forgotten about the night before. Or at least you were pretending to, and Bucky didn’t know if he should be happy or angry at the fact.

You had combed through all the footage of the target, piling it all into a folder and he had sent the flash drive to the people needed that would be able to get him arrested. And after that had been sent you had sent out another envelope to his wife, with proof of an affair so she would be able to divorce him.

And just like that another name was taken off your list, and Bucky tried not to feel the pressure at the fact that he was sure you would be gone the second the list was done. And he wouldn’t have an excuse to see you anymore.

He’s lucky Sam went along with this plan in the first place.

“Where is Sam?” You ask from your spot at the counter, legs crossed as you play with one of your knives, watching him closely where he sits on the couch.

“He went to go check on his sister and her kids.” He answers, looking up to you. “They are really close.”

“That’s nice.” You hum, dropping the knife out of boredom. “What comes next?”

“You got another name?”

“Are we allowed to start without Sam?” You ask, eyebrows pinching together.

“Yes. We can. Your list?”

“Front pocket of my duffel.” You hum out, something having caught your attention. He reaches for the bag and checks for the list as you shuffle closer to his open laptop. For a second he hears you hesitate, but he had already made it clear that you had access to anything so he nods and lets you look as he finds the paper you wrote the list on.

His eyes skim across the names, landing on the very last name as his heart stops. ‘Bucky Barnes’ , and no matter how many times you blink the name does not disappear. Why did you let him see this? Was this a trap set?

He whirls, only to find you staring at the screen unblinking. “Flower?”

Your head snaps to glare at him as he shuffles closer, shoving your list in his pocket and looking at what had caught your attention. He finds an old sitcom, a scene with a mother curled up with her kids and reading them a bedtime story.

“You never told me why.” He mutters, sitting on the couch with you on the floor staring at the screen again.

“Why what?”

“Why did you risk your life for all those kids?”

“Because they… because no one fought for me back then.” You admit, turning to look at him. “What is this show?”

“Full house. I don’t know, Steve put it on my list.”

“Your list?” You ask and he nods.

“Things to catch up on.” He smiles. “Like the star wars series.”

“The what?” He blinks slowly at your question, purely shocked.

Three hours later you are both sprawled out on the couch, pillows and blankets thrown about with snacks everywhere. Bucky had dragged you out to the store, buying tons of snacks that you had never tried before and before you knew it the apartment cupboards were packed with snacks and you were preparing to see the first star wars.

“Should we… have brought all this to the mission base?”

“The what?” He laughs, leaning forward to snatch a gummy worm from the bag you were holding.

“The… this apartment. Are we allowed to use it for this?”

“It’s my apartment.” He shrugs, and you blink slowly.

“It’s empty though.”

“I have a couch!” He scoffs. “And a tv!”

“No bed, no plushy towels or…. This is your home?” You didn’t know why this upset you. “You live like this?”

You want to kill him. You want to kill him. Why does this matter?

“I have a welcome mat.” He points to the door.

“That’s an ugly welcome mat.”

“Is not.”

“That would scare away any child on halloween.” You snap. “Are you trying to ruin their halloween?”

“No one really comes up here on halloween.” He shrugs again. “Why does it matter?”

“You… you’ve been free! You have been free this whole time and this is how you live and- I…..”

“I had other things to worry about besides Hydra. And John Walker. Tony Stark and the snap and- well I was trying to find you.” He admits.

“You were trying to find me?” Your chest constricts, as you watch him. “You tried to find me?”

“I did but after I was freed it was like they made you completely disappear and I’m assuming it’s because they knew I would start looki-” Before he can finish his sentence his phone rings and he sees Sams name, giving you an apologetic look before picking it up. You take a moment to try and fix yourself, taking deep breaths in. “He WHAT?”

This catches your attention, sitting up to watch him carefully as he stands. “I’ll be right there.”

He hangs up and nods. “I gotta go help Sam. Stay here and-”

“I’m coming with you.” You snap, moving to grab your duffel.

“No, we have a situation with John Walker and I need to-”

“I am coming.” And just like that you grab your suit, giving him your best glare as he shakes his head. “You both are helping me. The least I can do is help you.”

“You don’t have to.” He mumbles.

“But I will. Let’s go.”

Ladies always rise above

Ladies know what people want

Someone sweet and kind and fun

The lady simply had enough

“Thank you.” You whisper, keeping your head on his chest as you trace patterns along his skin. “Thank you for helping.”

“If you got away what would you do?”

“Me? I….. I would find the kids and make sure they made it. I would buy a house and get a cheesy welcome mat for it. I would decorate for halloween and….. And I would adopt a kid and-” You could taste the freedom, imagine it right there. A happy life.

“That sounds… amazing, flower.”

You lift your head, smiling softly as you lean up to kiss him, and he smiles back before moving to kiss you back.

You feel him stiffen before sitting up quickly and reaching for his knife. “Bucky?”

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles. “I’m so sorry.”

Before you can realize the door is blown open and agents rush in to grab you.

“Oh…. oh I like this duo.” John Walker smiles, watching you stand slightly behind Bucky with your arms crossed. He doesn’t say a word and neither do you, both giving him a good glare. The Winter Soldier and The Viper. “I hadn’t realized that Bucko boy came with his very own sidekick.”

“этот идиот знает, что от него пахнет рыбой?” (does this imbecile know he smells of fish?) You ask, sneering a bit and taking a step closer to Bucky. “и так небрежно использовать свое имя. Я могу сломать этого человека за считанные минуты.” (and to use your first name so casually. I can break this man within minutes.)

“Я с нетерпением жду этого. Еще я очень голоден, мармеладных червячков мне не хватило, чтобы поесть..” (I look forward to it. I'm also very hungry, gummy worms were not a sufficient meal)

You nod, trying not to smile as he gives you a look over his shoulder while Walker shuffles uncomfortably on his feet. “Shouldn’t we all speak english?”

“Maybe.” Sam shrugs. “But I find it’s easier to let these two do their thing. You said something about a raid?”

“There is a train heading down south here in 30 minutes and I know for a fact that there are rebels planning on stealing what’s on it.”

“What’s so important about what’s on the train?” Bucky asks, casting a look towards you and you see him catalog each and every one of your weapons just as he always used to do as the soldat. You give him a glare and he shrugs.

“Weapons.” John mutters. “And if we can intercept the rebels then-”

“You get your job back?” Sam snides. John stutters for a second and you snort, enjoying the panic on his face. He glares at you, preparing to say something as you step forward to grab one of your knives. You had no clue who this man was but it was easy to know that he was not an ally.

“Get your-”

“She’s not a dog.” Sam snaps, as Bucky sneers. “We’ll help, but on our terms. No one gets hurt and no one gets pummeled without cause.”

“Fine. Let’s see what you guys can do.” John sneers at you both, and Bucky sends you an easy smile over his shoulder as you smile back.

“Устроить им ад?” (Give them hell?)

“следую твоему примеру, Барнс.” (Following your lead, Barnes) You smile back, both of you swiveling to Sam and moving together.

You stand with him on a bridge, keeping a hand on his arm to stabilize yourself as you keep an eye on the ledge, fixing the comm in your ear with your other hand as he does the same.

“I….. I never wanted to betray you.” He blurts, as John tries to convince Sam to give him one of their comms, his argument of ‘I’m part of the team!’ almost making you snort. But Bucky’s words kept your attention as you tried to play it cool. Keeping your eyes trained on the bridge before you.

“Is this a good time to talk about this?” You mutter in Russian, just in case Walker could hear you both like you could hear him.

“It was the status report. They were making me do it every month and….. I fought it. I really tried to fight it.” He admits in russian, casting a look to Walker before turning back to you, his hand shooting out to wrap around your arm as you lean to prepare a landing. “Careful.”

“I thought…. You were…. Nevermind it was my mistake.”

“It wasn’t a mistake.” He snaps, pulling you closer. “It… It was everything to me.”

“I shouldn’t have. I should have kept my eyes on the mission and I ruined it and I ruined it for those kids. You were a weapon dangled before me, they knew I would fall for it. They knew I would fall for the freedom of it. And I’m sure they already knew that I was helping those kids and they just needed to prove-” The words are spilling out and you just can’t seem to stop them, tears beginning to fill your eyes. “I just wanted… I just wanted to help them.”

“You did.” He mumbles, moving until his chest is pressed to your shoulder. “Please look at me.”

“I messed it all up.”

“You didn’t mess anything up-”

“I did. I fell in love.” You finally look at him, tears in your eyes as he takes a deep breath in.

“I-”

“Incoming.” It’s Sam's voice in the comms that makes you both jump before you look to see the train coming.

“On it.” You mumble back in english, stabbing a knife into the brick beneath you as Bucky keeps a hold on your arm.

“Be careful, we’ll be right behind. Keep a knife ready and-”

“I’ve got it.” You laugh, watching the train get closer and closer.

“I just worry.” He admits, leaning forward to kiss your cheek softly. “And just so we are clear, I fell in love too.”

You try not to smile, giving him one last look before using the chord and launching down as you hear Sam count down in the comms, feet landing on the top of the train with a thud before you dive for the top grate and begin working on tearing it off.

You manage to tear it off in time to duck and lay flat as a sign under the bridge appears, managing to avoid it before crouching and climbing in as the train breaks from the bridge, three heavy sets of footprints hit the top of it while you climb across boxes to get to the end of the cart.

“Viper?!” Walker calls, landing in the crate followed by Bucky and Sam. You don’t bother answering, too busy trying to lift the shaft on the cart.

“You good?” Sam asks, coming to your side.

“I’m fine.” You mumble. “I can handle the mission sir-”

“Did you just sir me?” Sam laughs, leaning to help you with the shaft, letting the sunlight break in as the wind snaps in both your faces.

“You guys see anything?” John yells across the way as Bucky hops over a box and reaches you both.

You have just enough time to turn, ready to bite a response to Walker when you spot the bomb taped to the far wall. Your mouth opens in an attempt to yell a warning but it’s too late. It all blasts to shit.

There was nothing but pain as you hung suspended in the cell, the Shadow Widow sneering at you from her spot in the corner while Valkov took a break from torturing you. Your breathing is ragged, blood falling out of your mouth with the saliva as your eyes water.

You can no longer feel your legs, and your fingernails had been torn out first. Sobs racking through your body as he asks the question again, his russian loud.

“WHERE ARE THE LOOSE ENDS?!!”

You couldn’t betray the kids, you couldn’t do it. So when he picked up the drill you closed your eyes, sobbing once more as you try to blink Buckys face out of your memory, succumbing to your punishment.

Heat blasts against his back as you scream out, Sam yelling loudly, all three of you grasping anything you can as the train keeps going.

Bucky’s metal arm finds purchase on a broken handle of the train, trying to pull himself up as Sam grips the side grates of the train trying to activate his falcon wings while you struggle to keep hold of what is left of the floorboard in the train car, nails scraping as you grimace in pain while your legs stay suspended in the air.

“HOLD ON!” He calls, reaching his flesh hand for you before the metal of the door groans and he has to freeze.

Walker appears, bleeding from his ears and looking frazzled as hell, but Bucky breathes out a sigh of relief when he sees the idiot reach to help you. Hope that you would make it out of this mess, that is until John stumbles as he reaches for your hand and ends up making you lose your holding.

You scream out, nails scraping as you slide out, nearly all your body suspended in the air. Both Bucky and Sam scream, reaching for you before they realize they can’t.

“When does this fucking bridge end?” Bucky snaps, looking down to the hundreds of feet below, memories flashing in his mind.

“Language.” Sam grunts, exhaling in relief when he sees you manage to grab the final woodboard, your last chance at holding on.

“Complete the mission.” You snap. “I can get up.”

“We don’t leave each other behind.” Bucky grunts, using his flesh hand to reach for a rope connected to the roof of the train car.

“Hydra tells us we need to complete the missi-”

“This isn’t Hydra and I’m not leaving my girl on this train.” Bucky snaps and Sam whoops out a loud ‘fuck hydra’ as they both struggle to get to the main opening.

There are thuds on top of the train and you risk a look to see multiple hooded figures with bags getting ready to ransack the weapons. A grunt of anger passes through you as let one hand free from the board, much to Bucky's chagrin as he yells out for you before you reach and grab your compact launcher you had hidden in the belt of your suit and shoot the roof with the grappling hook, pulling yourself up right in time for Walker to fall back into the car.

“This manchild is useless.” You sneer, reaching for Bucky immediately, hands grasping his tactical vest and dragging him as much as you can into the train car as Sam struggles to get in as well.

“There are about 15 figures. We should have about 10 minutes before they blow the rest of this train up.” You explain, keeping your hands on his shoulders as you assess him. “Are you hurt?”

“No I’m-”

“I’m hurt!” Walker calls, making you hiss an unappealing word at him in russian before moving to look at Sam.

“Do you want the viper or me on this mission?”

“Viper would be nice.” Sam nods, looking at all the weapons. “Viper for sure.”

You nod, turning to assess Bucky one more time before he nods at you and you both begin working.

While he was doing lines

And crossing all of mine

Someone told his white collar crimes to the FBI

And I don't dress for villains

Or for innocents

I'm on my vigilante shh again

You both work in tandem, every punch he throws shoves the person straight into your kick. You slash your knife at anyone that gets too close to him, slicing their skin easily as he snipes out anyone rushing to the train.

Sam is finding the rest of the bombs, disarming them to the best of his ability.

You hiss in pain when you get hit in the jaw, but Bucky is there smashing the butt of his gun to the back of their head as you blink away the tears. His hand finds your jaw, assessing the damage before turning and nodding to the path you guys need.

“So…. what’s the plan after this?” He asks, huffing as he gets to the slate you had originally been planning on clearing.

“After this? Probably dinner.” You laugh, bending to break the controls. He adjusts himself so you were back to back, him watching to make sure you were good.

“I mean…. After this mission.”

“I….. I want to finish the list.” You answer, tearing out a board to access the rest of the control panel.

“Does that list still include me?” He blurts, making you freeze. When you don’t answer he looks down to see you already staring up at him with wide eyes.

“You saw that?”

“On your list. Highlighted and everything.” He nods, snapping his attention to a thud across the way, finding it empty. It was enough to get you back to work, focusing on the wires and buttons again. “I would understand if you wanted to-”

“I don’t anymore.” You snap. “I don’t think I ever would have been able to but it’s not like I planned to make it far after I got out. I didn’t have a plan. Everyone else had a plan and I was left! I was tortured and maimed for wanting that freedom, and when the time came I was the only one that had nothing to live for.”

You were seething, and he could only agree. He hated the other widows for what they did to you, that would never be forgiven.

“I wanted a family. That’s all I wanted.” You whisper, finally breaking the right chord. The lights immediately die out and the train lurches as it comes to a complete stop.

“Is that still what you want?” He whispers back, holding his hand out for you to grab and help you up.

“I don’t deserve it.”

“You are the only person in this entire universe that deserves that.” He snaps. “And it’s important to me that you know that.”

“It’s not like I have much of a future open.”

“Well I think you have a bit of a future in the vigilante game if you ask me.” He smiles.

I don't start it, but I can tell you how it ends

Don't get sad, get even

So on the weekends

I don't dress for friends

Lately I've been dressing for revenge

“I’m sorry, you used to what?!” Sarah laughs, coming around the kitchen counter to grab a bottle of soda from your hand, eyes wide. “Dip your knives in lethal poison.”

“It made things easier. Even if I didn’t hit a vital organ I still knew the job was done.” You explain, shrugging a bit as she laughs. You still got nervous when talking about your past, but Sarah seemed anything but judgemental.

Sam's sister ended up being your very best friend on this earth, which surprised you to no end. You loved her kids and you loved her. You especially loved girls night because you never thought this would be an option in general. Nonetheless you had friends now. You had a home, with a silly little welcome mat that was left on the porch for the trick or treaters every year.

The very same one that was getting trampled on every time Sarahs kids ran through with your adopted children, covered in mud and laughing loudly.

“Hey! Mind your mess!” She snaps out but you can’t stop smiling as you watch your adopted 4 year old chase after one of her sons.

“What are you up to?” Bucky asks, coming in from the garage with Sam and Joaquin smiling from ear to ear as he rushes to kiss at your jaw.

“We are getting ready.” You laugh, shooing him away.

“For?”

“The Eras movie. You have daughters now Barnes. You need to get with the program.” Sarah scoffs playfully, making her brother laugh as they pick up the snacks and head to the living room.

“Hey…. I just wanted to say thank you for your help on the mission the other day.” Torres smiles before following the rest into the living room leaving you with Bucky.

“Hear that? Vigilante shit right there.” You laugh, leaning forward to kiss him.

“Still waiting for you to kill me.” He whispers against your lips, winking before heading to catch your daughter as she tries to dash past, making her laugh loudly and reach for you.

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