#and what kind of loopholes are allowed too lol

[fandomfourever]

Honestly it depends. I'm good at freezing and not moving. But knowing my luck I'd probably get knocked over by a person running away. I also might just end up last due to being overly cautious.

I think I'd make it here, as I'd probably go with triangle or circle. Triangles are strong shapes, good for building with. I also just tend to go for circular things if given the option? May or may not go for star depending on vibes. I don't think I'd even consider umbrella because I'd figure there's nothing good that can come of it.

Most likely this would be what gets me. I have very little upper body strength. The few times I've played tug of war I've ended up on the losing team, though I've never fallen over. This would entirely depend on my team.

Honestly I don't know. My saving grace would be if we have an odd number of people and that no-one ever choses me to be on their teams, so I'd end up waiting it out in the dorm lol. If it's an even number of people, it would depend on what my partner decide for a game. If it's anything to do with aiming, I'm done. I can throw far I just can't aim. If it's guessing odd or even, then it's truly 50/50 or I'd have to hope my partner has no poker face.

I'd have probably chosen a middle to higher number. But then I am terrified of heights so, like, that would do me no favors. I find it unlikely I'd make it out of this one, unless I luck out and everyone ahead of me goes fast enough that I can just follow behind.

I'm not above fighting dirty, but like, if I make it depends on who else is left that I'm fighting against. If it's someone like Deok-su or Thanos, most likely not. If it's someone like Sang-woo, then it's more even and I miiiiight just make it but with some injuries. Otherwise, idk. there's a small chance.

Oof, I really don't know. I'd probably go with the hitting the block or jegi. While I don't have great aim, I do hit hard, so there's a chance I might luck into hitting the block. Jegi could go either way as well, as I can kick high, but I might accidently kick it too high and it'd fall somewhere inconvenient and we run out of time.

Entirely depends on if I've somehow made friends/allies at the point of playing. If not I'm dead because, again, people rarely choose me for things and people would probably forget I exist. My hope would just have to be sneaking/pushing my way into a room. If I've made friends/allies, I'd have to hope we really bonded and they didn't bond with others more.

okay this’ll be fun. tell me what games you think you’d survive/not survive and why (assume you have no knowledge of what the games would be before going in):

1. Red Light, Green Light

2. Dalgona

3. Tug of War

4. Marbles

5. Glass Bridge

6. Squid Game

7. Six Legged Race

8. Mingle

[klemsk-a]

TL;DR

S2a undermines the concept of redemption so badly it makes me want to cry.

Megatron changing for the better is interesting because it’s complicated. He used to be a warlord, a tyrant, people suffered directly as a consequence of his actions. Unfortunately ES fails to show us these consequences. The closes we have are Starscreams words and that is far from showing us anything.

There are no flashbacks, no actual conversations. Nothing but the present and most of it is from childrens perspective.

This lack of nuance is frustrating. For all we know Megatron might’ve acted exactly the same, but changed factions therefore he is a good guy know.

And this “autobots = good, decepticons = bad” morality is so on the nose in s2a it’s actually kind of pathetic.

The new season needed a villain, and all the hatred for cybertronians apparently evaporated (everybody else just had a change of heart ig and the only 2 people who actually disliked them are dead) and the cons were “always” bad so it doesn’t matter.

It allows the writers not to think about Megatron and problems accompanying his redemption because his victims are terrible so… it’s all fine, don’t worry 👍.

Perhaps it isn’t this way and I majorly misinterpreted the show.

The existence of the chaos terrans really makes me doubt it tho. It also makes me incredibly mad.

Aftermath literally comes into existence, has no idea what’s going on, who is everyone and they’re all fighting. So he does too. And immediately gets called terrible, basically the evil version of the terrans.

WHAT KIND OF MESSAGES IS THAT?

That because you aren’t from a perfect family you’re evil? That is what I got out of it.

Terrans = whole Emberstone = good

Chaos terrans = broken Emberstone = bad

For a show about acceptance and empathy that is a terrible plot point 😀

The episode with Aftermath and Jawbreaker (was extremely boring imo but that’s not important) gives you the impression they’re going to further develop Aftermath. Have him questioning orders and thinking about his choices. But no, he STOLE the entire water from a cave in one tank (how did he even manage???)

Spitfire is an even worse example.

On her first day alive, she gets told that if she wins a race she gets to go on an autobot mission.

She wins, by endangering Alex, and they tell her she won’t get the reword. It’s all understandable but the writers clearly don’t know anything about raising children or children in general.

Yes Spitfire did a bad thing and has to be taught that her behaviour was bad. No they cannot be mad at her for not immediately understanding and agreeing with them. That’s why children (especially toddlers) are infuriating. They don’t know better so you have to teach them, but they will find a loophole to help them get what they want (obviously depends on a child but we are rolling with Spitfires personality). Now depending on what they’ve done to get to it you either reward them or punish them. Because they don’t necessarily understand what they did wrong, even if it’s obvious to you, it can be hard to explain in a way that satisfies a child.

Spitfire lashing out and attacking Twitch is common for kids who believe that someone got something they deserved. It’s especially common if a kid has problems with aggression.

That could’ve been an interesting character development and a good message. Sometimes children won’t be easy to deal with (as all the terrans are, sure they can make bad decisions but ultimately they don’t cause much problems), sometimes they have unpleasant personalities or behavioural problems but it doesn’t make them evil. Being there and loving a child isn’t enough to raise them, discipline is needed and so is patience.

But no.

Aftermath and Spitfire are chaos terrans so they are evil by proxy. Too bad lol.

Twitch and Thrash needed to learn everything. So did Nightshade, Hashtag and Jawbreaker. There was a great deal about self discovery.

Aftermath and Spitfire already have alt modes (at least Spitfire I don’t actually remember Aftermath) and they are just terrible, no good people.

Case closed, problem solved.

Oh. And then they died so…

Unlucky 🤷‍♀️

Redemption in media, especially kids media is important. It sends a message that you can in fact mess up in life, make a couple (hundreds) of mistakes and still come out on top.

But redemption is earned, and it can be (and often is) hard to changed for the better (as opposed to changing for worse).

You shouldn’t change for those you have hurt but so it won’t happen again, so you won’t hurt others again.

Some will come back, some will not.

It IS important that you try nonetheless.

Because no matter what explaining isn’t excusing and no one is born evil.

This show is so FRUSTRATING to me because I cared, and still do obviously (I wrote two versions of this but accidentally deleted the first one so had to write one again).

I really hope S2b will be back on track about acceptance and redemption.

I think Starscream deserved better but sincerely hope they (autobots) will get a hold of him, and him and Megatron will actually talk.

At least let Starscream have his father-daughter relationship with Hashtag, please 🙏.

[dateamonster]

i feel like im not gonna articulate this well but theres something to the way horror fiction draws you in by allowing you to entertain dark and morbid fascinations safely and without shame and how that parallels to romantic/erotic fiction allowing you to engage with raw desire safely and without shame. and how both genres often invoke tropes or character archetypes which serve the purpose of removing agency from the protagonist.

like in horror making the character through whose perspective the reader is experiencing the story frequently feel helpless is a really effective device for upping dramatic tension and just plain scaring the reader (or viewer or player etc) i just think its genuinely very fascinating how it sorta works the same way in romance except in an almost opposite way. it ups the drama but also kind of weirdly relaxes the reader into the scene because you already sorta know by virtue of genre conventions that the protag is going to enjoy whatever happens, so having intimacy happen to them without them initiating becomes kind of weirdly liberating in that you/they dont have to take action or responsibility, you just experience it and know that things will turn out all right.

this isnt rly a bad thing. its also not rly a good thing. i think its just like. an interesting context thing. idek rly know what im getting at here i just love thinking abt the dichotomy of horror/romance genre fiction and how both come from this place of deep desire and fascination and the funny little loopholes it takes to let our messy human brains enjoy stuff without feeling too weird abt it. lol!

[bebx]

Hey there! I hope you are doing well. I don't mean to bother you again as you are gonna figure out I am the same person who asked about your unexpectedly but hopefully temporary drifting away from ST sub fandom hehe. So I decided to do my homework and see if you probably left some clues or hints regarding your hiatus from it before but unfortunately I couldn't find any unless my dumb@$$ missed it despite thorough research as if I was looking for easter eggs in a deeply layered show like ST. My search report :- It had been going well on your side even when there was a drought in HC contents but slowly it lost the 'momentum' which I feel you played a key role in wonderfully building up yourself, ironically right at the moment of D-day which honestly feels like if reality had tv drama like loopholes lol.

So all I have now is what you last said to me that you are busy with stuffs and other things like hyperfixation on a character from Harrow series { although I haven't watched it yet but based on your enthusiasm which mostly resonates with my own interest, I have added it in my watchlist :) Cuz Bingo I can't tell you how happy I was when I found you with the same sentiments as mine after watching Damsel! } plus point is you did mention how he is certainly still in your heart and you are planning to make more posts and fanfic about him in future. So I decided to wait, months passed with more tempting Henry Creel info pouring while I still kept up with *patiently waiting for my favorite Tumblr user's ST fandom era to resurface as well as coexist with her new obsession of Harrow series*, so that one hyperfixation won't have to be sacrificed for another still worthy subject of hyperfixation :) Hence it has been quite an introspective and empathetic time but now I am like "okay at least lemme just ask her how she has been and what exactly is the status", to stifle my other apprehensive thoughts forming with the passing time as well as disappearing silver lining( as there is no sign of either Henry or JCB these days at all lol apart from Jamie Bower World Domination post) out of overthinking.

I always felt your contribution to this fandom has been immensely valuable and even though others may or may not have been enough reminding you that as I can see I am probably the only anonymous seeker regarding digging this matter up, I miss you and your blogs about it. I have mostly been a lurker kind so I never interactively participated in any discussion or thread but I have always inwardly appreciated people with a good taste of art. So even if anonymously, this is a great deal to me, sharing my wish embedded in vulnerability. *nervously chuckles* Idk if this is a stretch but given how what Jamie manually allows to be displayed on his tagged section had most of your posts, tells me that he must have subconsciously felt your absence lately too. The fact that this is true tho, makes it a reasonable theory.

So now after hopefully doing a great job at explaining the deep context behind my "ask away" here are the main deal of questions xD;-

How are you, once again? (I don't want to pressurize you into rejoining it earlier than you planned according to your life and schedules uk. Besides I don't wanna interrupt your balancing of multifandom fascination.)

Is there any particular reason behind this seemingly complete "switch off mode" which you can share? ( because my Spidey senses keep feeling it's more than what it is, could be false alarm tho) Could it be potentially because Stranger Things is so addictive, it is not possible to keep a track of its updates while continuing with hyper fixating on other fandoms?

If the aforementioned fear is unfounded, then here are my other theories and questions, have you stumbled upon the TFS spoilers of any kind?

If no, are you planning to watch it LIVE soon or later? (as the canon play is gonna stick around for a long time) is this why have you been avoiding discussions as they would involve major spoiling of the experience?

Or are you planning of watching it whenever it streams on Netflix as technically it just has to one day?

Have you been weakly following any ST S5 leaks? ( as we finally got a very *greatest leak of all time* kind of leak not even exactly 24 hours ago lol) [to tell you the truth- this is exactly what triggered me to get some clarifications from you, as despite knowing that I would open your page only to be greeted by Harrow, deep down I felt maybe you would say something about it because it directly involves JCB and it's quite making waves already.]

Did you check out the VR Game released this February?

Or are you taking a complete long break for a while because once S5 release date inches closer, there is no going back from its fever for another 2-3 years anyways? haha ( ngl this is my most optimistic theory I am clinging onto)

(optional question xD) Am I seriously the only one approaching you by bringing this old buried fascination or others have felt the same way too and they express their perplexity in your inbox instead?

(anyways I will be very grateful if you respond to my plethora of mystified emotions even though I think it would secretly answer to many other lurkers like me who found a sense of kindred spirit through you but are too busy abiding by their lurking policy)

hi, I’ve been looking at this for…. a while, because… oh my 😅 I understand that it’s been so long since my Stranger Things era, and I know some of my followers follow me for my Henry / ST content. I just didn’t know my silly ST posts actually have this much impact that they stay in people’s memories even after it’s been a long time. so this ask actually brings back so many memories. and I really appreciate that you’re still sticking around. really. I had to take a moment to just sit here and stare at this ask in my inbox and go “whoa” — but it’s a good kind of whoa. I am touched that you still remember, because gosh how long has it been since my ST days!

to answer your questions, I am fine and I am doing well. thank you. I didn’t mean to “abandon” my interest. and I AM still interested in the show. I still love Henry, even though I don’t really talk about him on here anymore. it’s funny because a part of me is kind of sad that I don’t talk about him on here anymore? to tell you the truth, anon, I don’t exactly know why? I mean… sure, my blog currently focuses on something else, but I never really stop loving Henry as a character. this sounds extremely cliche, but it’s the truth. I still love him and I still think about him and those time I spent writing fics about him.

I don’t know if there’s any particular reason behind this, according to you, seemingly complete "switch off mode" on my blog. but there’s no conspiracy theory or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about? I just kind of focus my attention on something else, for the moment, but again, I still do love Henry. just because I don’t talk about him here like I used to does not mean I love him any less. rest assured. he’s still in my heart.

I haven’t stumbled upon any real TFS spoilers, but that’s probably because I don’t follow many blogs that talk about it so it rarely reaches my dashboard anyway.

and I don’t live near the place where the play takes place, so unfortunately I don’t see myself traveling there to watch it live, as life has been a little busy for me here to take that kind of vacations. but I would have loved to. if the time were right. I do look forward to streaming it when or if it becomes available on Netflix though.

I haven’t been following ST leaks much, I can’t see “weekly” because I kind of just look at them if they reach my dashboard here or my twitter’s/X’s timeline. but I don’t actively go search for it nor do I avoid it for fear of any potential spoilers either. but I did just see the leaks you talked about, and I’m actually very excited. it actually reminded me of my fic “Salvation” — I’m not sure if you’ve read it, but yeah. gosh I am genuinely very excited.

though I haven’t checked out the VR Game. I mean… I don’t really play video games so that might explain why.

and no. I’m not “taking a long break” because I think there is no going back from its fever for another 2-3 years after season 5 is released. I don’t even know why I’m “taking a break” except that my mind has just been focusing on something else, currently.

also, yes, some people have asked, and I haven’t had the chance to answer them (I’ve been meaning to, though), so this might be the answer they were looking for as well? there’s no “real reason” behind my lack of activity when it comes to ST fandom, except that I’ve been focusing my attention on something else lately, but that doesn’t mean I love the show — or especially Henry — any less. I still am a fan of the show and of Henry. and I still love Jamie with all my heart, obviously. I still keep up with him and his music and I am so incredibly proud of him as an artist and a person.

I am super excited to see Henry again when season 5 drops. I don’t know when or if my hyperfixation will come back, so I wouldn’t wish to make any promises. but what I can say for sure is that, even though it’s not exactly a hyperfixation, I still love Henry just the same. I hope I will start making lots of posts and writing fics about him again one day.

last but not least, I will always love and support Jamie in everything he does. and he will forever be my source of happiness that keeps me going when things are difficult.

I also want to thank you for reaching out. it means so very much to me. if there is any further matter you wish to talk or discuss with me about, you are very welcome to drop by my inbox anytime.

(and yes, I still love talking about Stranger Things and Henry here. anybody is more than welcome to drop by my inbox to talk to me about Henry — who knows, it might re-spark that hyperfixation within me…)

[sunvoids]

brain stuff is so funny (sarcasm) going from "life is so cool and I love my friends so much and I like breathing and looking at bugs with fascination and did I mention I love my friends and they also love me" to "man what's the point I'll never change things in the ways I want to and I am literally so detached of reality I don't feel like I belong, so it wouldn't really impact anyone if I was just dead" at the flip of a switch (lmao. lol. unsurprising)

like at this point it's just kind of like... suicidal ideation coming by uninvited to sleep in my bed for like a night or two and then peacing out in the morning. like ok. get another hobby my dude. or maybe for once let's go hang out in town or go for a walk together where you get your mind off of the repetitive familiar thoughts that you consider close friends but really aren't. I'll hold your hand, you can keep the hood up to hide your face if that's more comfortable, and if other people are too overwhelming we can just hang out together just the two of us. Because I know you have no intent to hurt me or yourself any more than we're already hurting. So I have no intent to force you to stay or do things that are too overwhelming, but I just want to give an encouraging push because there is more fulfilling things beyond those familiar, blood-covered thoughts that I'm VERY happy to discover alongside you! ok hi taking over ur post halfway thru but like I Get It™, and I've told you this before but you're my best friend, and for as long as you let me, I'll support you and help you towards the things you believe you can't get or deserve or are allowed to have. like yea, it's going to suck and be difficult, but we're going to be difficulter!!! together :3 bc stuff is so much more fun with company!

and sure, we're like still in the same sort of frame as we have been our entire life, but there's a lot of past restrictions that don't apply anymore but noticing that wasn't obvious in any way as it "is just a given" but it is not!!!!

I'll figure out some loopholes for the irrational rules or thoughts and ofc take it slow but we've changed a lot even if it doesn't feel like it! For one, we're not in the dark anymore and while frustration still occurs when We Can't Just Do The Tasks Or Things, nobody aims upset inwards bc we all understand it, and it's not just a mess of ???? why can't i just do these things that didn't give me any issues last time i did them and that is such a huge improvement

anyway!! blows u a kiss I love you very much and we'll get where we want to get! because we've already done that before, so we can do it again! 💖

[iron-bullogna]

they never expected to have children. definitely not right away. maybe not ever. but yenna fell into their laps.

they never expected to let her stay in camp either. he was kind to her on the road and had given her food so he wasn't entirely surprised when she turned up. once she was there, there was no way jaheira or halsin would allow you to turn away a child, even had he wanted to.

and after all arabella hadn't been a nuisance. she stayed as long as she needed and then she went on her way. he imagined this would go much the same.

except it didn't. the world didn't end. he didn't die.

it didn't take long, even in the chaotic aftermath, for them to realize something needed to be decided about yenna. wyll, karlach, and lae'zel were obviously out of the question as caregivers. shadowheart had her own life too lead and one far too dangerous to be accompanied by a child. astarion had his hands full with juggling vampire spawn in the underdark and figuring out his own life now that he had his freedom. and himself and gale hardly seemed suited.

halsin or jaheira seemed the most logical choices. after all, halsin was taking kids in by the wagon full.

when they presented her with the idea, she hugged grub to her chest, the poor cat dangling in her arms and cried.

to their surprise, she didn't want to go with them. she didn't want to share halsin's attention. and even durge could understand jaheira wouldn't have time for her and she would end up cared for by one of her other children. but the fact she wanted to live with himself and gale was a shock. he couldn't fathom why.

but she had grown attached to gale. he may have said he didn't see himself being ready to be a father, but he was good at it. or perhaps he was just a good teacher. many a night she had stood at his side watching and helping as he prepared dinner with a mix of practical application and wizardry.

-------------------

idk what I was writing here, just noodling around. anyhow, they end up with yenna and just aren't very good dad's at first.

they spend a time helping rebuilding efforts in baldur's gate before traveling back to waterdeep. it's already difficult for them to settle into their new "normal" without a child in the mix.

"do you know where your child is right now?" advertisement except nah, they don't actually.

i personally view gale as very much a "those rules don't make sense to me therefore they don't apply to me" autistic that wouldn't be as worried about his kid getting into trouble, as long as the reasons why also made sense to him.

"oh you snuck into some place to read a very rare and forbidden book and got caught doing it? ....yes but did you get to read it before they caught you? you should have planned better if not, cause now it'll be harder next time. let me see if there is any loopholes..." ah dad

it takes them a few years before they actually fall into any sort of routine beyond gale having enrolled her in some sort of schooling (I haven't thought too far ahead on what she would really be doing). tara definitely has had to get on gale's case about remembering to eat but now it's remembering to eat because they need to feed their damn child.

she doesn't call them her dads for quite a while, but when she does, it's gale she calls dad first.

i think had they waited and had children on their own when they were ready, things would have been very different. though, I don't see them ever having had children if they had done so. it's the only situation for my durge where they end up with kids lol

yes I headcanon my durge and gale adopt yenna

no they're not good dads

[second-star-to-motunui]

Yuu is Autistic!

✨Feat. The Housewardens; Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, Azul Ashengrotto, Kalim Al-Asim, Vil Schonenheit, Idia Shroud, Malleus Draconia✨

How do the housewardens react to Yuu’s stims, sensory issues and behaviors? Let’s find out!

They/Them pronouns for reader. MC is referred to as Yuu.

Likes and reblogs are heavily appreciated

Hmmm where has he seen this behavior? cue Adeuce being chaotically autistic in the background

Riddle mistakes Yuu as childish at first but after some explanations he understands what they’re going through. One of Trey’s little siblings is autistic too, so Riddle goes to him for advice about the topic.

Yuu likes the way the petals on roses feel! The smell is nice too! Good sensory! Even though they’re not a student of Heartslabyul, Riddle allows them to assist in painting the roses red just to see them happy. Won’t admit it, but he has bouquets sent to Yuu every now and then when he knows they’re in a bad mood.

If anyone does anything that triggers or upsets Yuu, it’ll be Off With Your Head.

“I’m curious why you like the feel of roses? The texture? Is that so… I’m not sure if your interested, but you’re welcome to pet the hedgehogs anytime you’d like. I quite like the way their prickly little quills feel myself.”

Leona doesn’t care at first, thinking Yuu is a little annoying. But he accepts them pretty fast.

Yuu doesn’t like to eat meat because of the thick chewy texture? Ok, he’ll eat all the meat then. They can eat his vegetables. Ruggie despises Leona’s newfound loophole but oh well.

Sometimes Yuu plays with Leona’s tail while he naps and make little sounds with their mouth. Leona doesn’t mind, it’s kinda cute. But if they get too loud or move too much he’ll tug them down to nap with him. They fall asleep pretty fast so long as he puts a little weight on them. He even buys them a weighted blanket to help them sleep at night.

Someone made fun of Yuu’s stimming once. Leona broke that guy’s arm and leg.

“That you on my tail, herbivore? Heh, of course. You know Jack’s tail is probably much more fun to play with than mine …Fine, you can stay. Try not to get loud, ok?”

Azul witnessed when Yuu got excited over some jellyfish and started flapping their hands. Yup. They’re adorable and he would die for them.

Floyd has similar mood swings and behaviors, so he’s already prepared for anything Yuu’s autism may bring.

Yuu likes shiny things too? How fun! Azul loves the way their eyes light up when he shares his shiny trinkets with them. The happy sounds they make when they run their fingers over the bumps of seashells is far more valuable than any treasure in the world.

Anyone who makes Yuu feel bad about their autism is going to find themselves cornered by Jade and Floyd. No mercy.

“Is something the matter? Oh, it’s just one of your moods, I see. I found some lovely seashells while I was visiting home yesterday, would you like to see them? Oh, you’ll simply adore them!”

I don’t think he even notices at first lol

Jamil does have to explain it properly to Kalim when he accidentally causes Yuu a panic attack with loud music. Now Kalim is extra careful.

When he learns about same foods, Kalim has Jamil make one of them for Yuu every time they drop by Scarabia. They’re so fun to talk with! Kalim could listen to them ramble about their interests all day!

Kalim keeps his pockets full of the Good Sensory things Yuu likes in case they’re having a bad day.

“Hey, Yuu! I’m sorry about the music the other day, I didn’t know that bothered you… What kind of music do you like? We can listen together! I’ll ask Jamil to get all your favorite snacks and we’ll make it a little party! Just the three of us!”

Yuu was so blunt with Vil about how he’s self centered and looks down on others once, it silenced an entire room of people. Except for Epel he laughed his ass off.

Vil doesn’t understand these behaviors for a while. Yuu doesn’t like makeup because the feeling of the products on their face is Bad Sensory? But how will they look their best! They have a tendency to hyper focus on their interests and ignore everything around them? How are they supposed to notice how handsome he is!

He’ll get used to it at some point but he’ll never get comfortable with their bluntness. It scares him.

Oh, he’s still gonna poison anyone who disrespects Yuu though.

“What do you mean you’ve seen better?! Are you blind? Who could possibly be fairer than I? … Who on earth is Lil Nas—don’t walk away, I’m taking to you! Epel cease your laughter THIS INSTANT!”

Insert cliche anime girl gasp

Come on, like 85% of Ignihyde students are autistic or have ADHD, Yuu is nothing new to him. He’s super shy but he’ll do his darndest to make sure Yuu is comfortable at NRC.

Idia is always lending Yuu fidget toys, games, and other interesting trinkets for them to use. If Yuu is nonverbal or selectively mute, Idia and Ortho gift them a tablet they can use to talk with just like Idia. He also installs other apps for auditory and visual stimming.

If Yuu has any bad panic attacks or gets sensory overloads, Idia will be there for them with some noise blocking headphones, stuffed animals, and snacks. Whatever distraction they need, he’s got them.

“A-Are you calming down a bit? Um… oh, you watched that anime I showed you, right? Did you see the cat girl character? She’s super cute huh? Who was your favorite?”

Malleus doesn’t mind. Yuu is his precious child of man, everything about them is fascinating in his eyes.

Once when he was sitting down, Yuu impulsively started touching his horns. The bumpy feel was so nice! Malleus heard them make a happy sound and his heart skipped a beat. Aaand then Sebek freaked out over it, scolded Yuu and ended up scaring them into running away. Lilia put his ass in timeout for that.

Most of the time Malleus spends with Yuu now is pretty much him watching them do their thing with the softest look of adoration in his eyes. Hand flapping? Happy sounds? Rambling? Stimming? Absolutely everything Yuu does when they’re happy gives Malleus the warmest feeling in his chest. He spoils the heck out of them with the things that make them happy, especially when they’re having bad days.

His favorite thing to do is lift Yuu up in his arms so they can touch his horns. They’re so gentle and sweet, Malleus can’t stop smiling when he holds them.

“Loud noises are triggering you say? I see. I’ll make sure Sebek doesn’t yell around you anymore. I’m going to treat myself to ice cream today while I go for my walk. It’ll be quite peaceful. Would you care to join me?”

[darlingbudsofrae]

Neil Josten Appreciation Post

Foxes Appreciation Series : 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 ||

Alright, let’s just start this by addressing the big elephant in the room: everyone loves Neil Josten. EVERYONE.

If you don’t, you’re lying. 

Okay, first up- I’m glad this is getting addressed more on AFTG tumblr but Neil is literally so much smarter than the fandom gives him credit for.

Like yes, he’s a little dumdum on the social aspect of things (you could argue he kind of has a low EQ but also not really, I would argue that later)

but that doesn’t dismiss that he is smart af and that he can kill you and make it look natural if he wants.

For example, he literally outrun and hid from the mafia for years. Like, that in itself is an obvious point but we often forget that he did this at a very young age.

Like, he was presumably what? 16?? (when Mary kicked the bucket?) And kid was already playing hide and seek pretty well with a freaking mafia.

He does not get enough credit for this.

The survival skills it takes- the mental strength to survive as a runaway and technically he’s also homeless- at freaking 16, that’s just insane.

Also, let’s not mention the fact that it takes skills to forge official papers and all that.

We also do not talk enough about Neil and how he freaking have to relearn an entirely new position just to play exy.

I don’t think most remember that he’s actually a backliner, but have to play as a striker because it was the only available position in that local high school he attended in Millport, and that was how Kevin saw him so he was recruited as a striker.

We also additionally do not talk enough about how Kevin “literal and figurative Son of Exy” Day found potential for court in Neil “I’m a backliner but I’m playing striker because it’s the only thing available and I’m an exy junkie” Josten who only played it for like a year or less. 

Like yeah, Kevin said he needs more training but it’s not even Neil’s official position. 

The talent on this man- I cannot, he is such an icon. 

Aside from his great survival skills and being literally great at picking things up- he’s also like freaking academically smart.

Like that also doesn’t get enough credit- I mean, he does math for fun.

Frankly, I think if you did Kumon or if you had an awesome teacher you could also do math for fun (I know I did) but this should be noted with the fact that he didn’t have proper schooling.

He went on a run at a really young age so there is no way he received formal education.

Which means he is naturally like really smart.

He’s also a polyglot. And the languages he has under his belt are all freaking difficult to learn- like, no kidding: French, German, and he can assumingly speak intermediate Spanish, and we don’t even have an idea if this is all the languages he can speak.

Also, he and Andrew learns how to speak Russian, right? Like, that’s crazy.

The brain on this man and the power that he has- my son, I am so proud.

I mean, for all we know- there’s more than that and the fact that he’s like 18 at TFC screams supremacy.

This is where I argue about his EQ but Neil is crazy perceptive.

It took him like freaking 3 seconds to figure out the team dynamics the foxes have, and how to work against it.

He later figured out how to make it all mesh together.

Like the way he do things isn’t conventional but reading him analyze his team despite his lack of empathy really makes me shudder.

Like, this kid is so freaking smart. I remember reading his thought process for the very first time and being like, okay- I definitely did not think about that.

The main problem with his EQ though is that he doesn’t know how to process positive stuff when he’s involved, but when he’s the outsider- his perspective is so amazing.

Like again, he kind of lacks empathy but the way he understands things and is just so sharp is just noteworthy.

I’d argue he doesn’t understand social cues and “modern teen things” but he isn’t so completely clueless on the social aspect in general as to not manipulate an entire team of misfits with issues to work together.

He’s literally the key to unity in AFTG. Even Dan says so.

Also, the way he puts things into play- like he’s a master manipulator, and I love that for him.

We do not talk enough about manipulative Neil, like I just really love manipulative characters in general so much- especially if they’re just owning it. 

I mean, he freaking manipulated Andrew and Aaron into therapy. Kind of evil but also wow. (just a sidenote, please don’t force people into therapy lol)

Going completely dark for a second, Neil also has a freaking high pain tolerance.

The amount of horrible things he went through in the books were just so sad and the fact that he just kind of moves on from it? That’s just completely oh my gods.

My poor summer child, even if you can kill me at any given time, let me just hug you for a second with consent.

Everyone also gives shit about Neil’s fashion choices and granted it is said he kind of bags the homeless looks but the fact that he values utility above all else-

Yes, we stan a resourceful king. 

Lowkey though, am I the only one who appreciate Neil’s average style?

Speaking of style- I love the way Neil narrates. Like, the way he doesn’t give much attention to how the character looks- it’s just so realistic?

Because if I’m talking to a person in real life, there is no way I am noting how his blue polo makes him kind of casual but clean-cut and how his brown eyes is as warm as my morning coffee. Like, who even does that?

The thing with Neil’s narration is that it’s just so authentic- like it easily engages the readers and the way he gives importance to every thing the same way, it really makes it easier for the reader to discern things objectively, y’know what I mean?

He just has that quality in a main character and narrator- he’s laidback and sarcastic but not trying too hard, and he’s just really easy to love.

Like, I normally don’t like narrators/main characters in books because I favor a side character more or just because they’re annoying, but Neil Josten is legit lovable. 

At the same time, he’s also a really well-written character. Like, for all the technicalities I point out in AFTG, Neil is an asshole. He’s not perfect and I don’t 100% love everything that he does and I love that.

He’s a flawed character but he gives you something to root for- and I just really want to appreciate his characterization for a second. Most books make their characters’ flaws not even their fault to put a check to the flawed character but at the same time still have that perfect character. Eeww, no- give me real flaws to work with.

He’s one of the realest protagonists I ever read.

Like people give him shit for wanting to hide but also choosing to play a nationwide-discerned sport on an infamous collegiate team but for me it’s kind of realistic.

Because I think we, as human beings, also do things we love too much regardless of logic. I don’t know, like it’s kind of funny the way Neil is written but I honestly didn’t see him joining Palmetto as a loophole.

Like, just think of all those successful people who hid their identities via pseudonym or other necessary means to do things they weren’t expected to do or weren’t allowed to do.

For me, his character was really just looking for excuses to play his favorite sport a second longer and if anything, that’s just kind of sad.

But also, his dedication and love to exy is really admirable- like I never understood it but the way he literally does everything to stay on the court for a second longer just makes me want to root for him.

On a random note, Neil may not have an eidetic memory like Andrew’s but the way he memorize most phone numbers by heart? 

Bruh, I don’t even have my phone number memorized and I freaking have it for two years now. 

He also memorizes every twists and turns at every trip, every exits at a room he enters, and most people’s tics upon the first meeting, and other things and that’s just crazy perceptive but also really crazy on another level.

Also, we don’t get much ace/demi representation and out of the few I’ve consumed, demi Neil Josten validates me. He’s legit my favorite character that belongs in the ace spec in books.

I just really love Neil’s character so much- he’s just so amazing.

One thing I always appreciate about Neil Josten is that while he’s not a total angel (sadly), the way he loves the foxes- like he legit tried to mend the team and make sure everyone is going to be okay before walking straight to his death- like I’m with Andrew on this one, what a fucking martyr. Why are you like this and why am I crying?

Neil Josten is by all means not soft, that much is established, but the way he’s just still as precious and must be protected at all costs-

"You know, I get it," Neil said. "Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time."

I love him, your honor- where can I file this adoption papers and do I have anything else to sign?

[oh-boy-me]

Can I please see MC beating the brothers at something they would normally excel at? Thank you, and have a great day or night! 💚

Hello look I’m finally getting back to old requests!  Surprise, 💚 anon!

Also, I chose specific things for MC to beat them at, because it made it easier to formulate thoughts.

--

Lucifer: Chess

Hmm.  This is.  He doesn’t like this.

He’s the demon of pride.  He’s supposed to be--no, he is--the best at everything.  Diavolo and Barbatos are the only ones allowed to hold a candle to him.

“Congratulations, MC,” he says out loud.  “It was a fluke.  I let them win.  There’s no way they actually beat me,” he says to himself.  He tries to hide his bad mood, but it’s pretty noticeable that he’s seething in his seat.

He needs to reclaim his throne, and they better not even think about letting him win or they’ll just make things worse.  Is this a healthy way to handle defeat?  Absolutely not.  But a hit to his pride is a hit to his pride, and he doesn’t take those as well as he’d like you to think.

The only way for MC to remedy this quickly is to point out that he taught them these skills.

Honestly the fact that it was chess specifically doesn’t really matter.  Lucifer is only fine with being second best at something if it’s luck-based (like Candy Land), or if he REALLY doesn’t care about it (like Candy Land).

Just kidding.  He will destroy them at Candy Land if it’s the last thing he does.

Mammon: Card Games

I tried to keep things related to their sins out of this, because being beaten at your sin would probably make you question your identity.  But with Mammon most of his hobbies seem to tie into his sin in some way, so I think this is our best option.

Anyway, Mammon isn’t happy about this by any means, but it’s also not going to ruin his day like it’d ruin Lucifer’s.

Like, he’ll grumble about it.  And complain.  Loudly.  He might even spam the group chat complaining about it while MC is still right next to him shuffling cards, and then Asmo will say “lol” and Lucifer will accuse him of something unrelated and that’ll make him grumble more.

And MC might have to step in somehow to get him to stop pouting.

If they were playing for money, he’s gonna keep demanding rematches until either he wins or something forces them to stop.

Unlike Lucifer, Mammon will be fine with them letting him win.

But once again, that’s for the money, not really for his pride.  He’s kind of used to losing at the things he’s good at.

Leviathan: Video Games

Hmm this is he doesn’t like this #2

Levi’s kind of built his identity around the things that he’s good at and the things he likes, so for MC to come in and upset that makes him, well, upset.

The first time sucks.  Like Lucifer, he sits there stewing in his frustration.  Unlike Lucifer, he doesn’t bother trying to hide it.  He might even tear up, which definitely pulls on the heartstrings but he shouldn’t be such a sore loser.

The closer MC is with him, the less upset he’ll be over time, though.  Because it changes from “this fucking normie came in and ruined everything” to “ahhhh dammit my friend beat me”.

Also, he’ll only get moody if MC beats him at a game he’s currently invested in.  He’s not gonna be surprised if he’s a little rusty at Street Fighter II now, but ex-father have mercy on anyone who beat him at a DBFZ when it first came out.

He’ll only legitimately try to kill them if they beat his Ruri-chan platformer speedrun time.

Satan: Grades

Satan thinks it’s great!!  He highly values being smart, but he doesn’t think it’s threatening for someone else to be smart too (except Lucifer).

If anything, he’s glad to know MC is someone he can reliably study and compare answers with.  Most of his study buddies end up being impromptu tutoring pupils, and he’d really like to just study for once.

Maybe it's surprising that the avatar of wrath isn’t angry, but like, he seriously doesn’t see this as something to be angry about.

Of course, he’s still literally the sorest loser in the three realms.  Never play games with him.  But this wasn’t a competition, and I can’t exactly say he excels at anything that would be considered a competition.  So yeah, MC manages to escape his wrath through a loophole in the ask.

Is he mad that he didn’t get full marks?  Of course.  But he’s mad at the teacher, not MC.  Unless MC tries to rub it in his face, because that’s just rude.

Asmodeus: Design

I was gonna do like a popularity contest, but we’ve seen him go through one in canon and that’s not gonna really add anything new.

So!  Let’s say he and MC’s designs were both candidates for something, and MC’s ended up being chosen.

Hmm this is he doesn’t like this #3

The problem is that while design has nothing to with his sin, and therefore his base identity, he sure seems to think it does.  Asmo thinks his entire personality is the things he’s good at.

He’s simultaneously the easiest and hardest to deal with out of those who are legitimately upset.  The easiest because while he’ll pout a bit, he’s going to properly congratulate them and it’s hard to tell that he’s upset when he’s giving them so many compliments and talking about how he’s gonna buy one of everything.

The hardest because he’s actually really passive aggressive about it.  For a WHILE.

He’ll also definitely try to steal their ideas for the future, or seduce whoever’s in charge of making the final selection.  It doesn’t matter if he got chosen legitimately or not, what matters is that he gets chosen period.

The best thing MC can do in this situation is get him to understand he wouldn’t actually be happy with a shallow victory like that.

Beelzebub: Sports

Another one who is very excited to have an equal!

Sports need more than one player, after all, and it gets really boring if your opponent is no match for you.

He’ll start to consider MC his friendly rival.  He asks them what their training regimen is and what diet they’ve adopted, so they can compare it with his own (scaled down to be equivalent).  Basically he gets information from them like Asmo does, but unlike Asmo Beel gets it by asking and shares the benefits with MC.

If there’s a sport that neither of them have tried before, he’d love to see how they do one-on-one as complete novices.  He’ll do his best to be mindful of his brute strength advantage if it’s a sport where that would matter.

The only thing he could be upset about MC beating him in is those restaurant challenges where you finish a massive dish within a time limit.  But even then, it’s not because he’s upset he lost.  He’s more concerned about their health, because if MC beat him at that holy shit.

Belphegor

He doesn’t care.

This took so long to come out because I couldn’t think of something MC would beat him at that he would care about.

Like

Slept longer than him??  He’s not gonna throw a fit about that.

And it’s not like he goes into things expecting to win; he barely wants to do things at all.

So yeah the answer for Belphie is it doesn’t matter what you beat him at, he won’t lose sleep over it.

Lmao sloth pun

Masterlist

[mindmeltonabun-blog]

Doom At Your Service: Analysis & Theories for EPs 9-10

Anyone mentally exhausted from watching DAYS? Well, you’ve come to the right place where I do the thinking for you, so you don’t have to! As always, if you have any questions, feel free to click on the ask question button! Happy Readings !

The Contract Revisited

While reviewing the contract, I realized there was something major that I had completely missed! Anyways let’s go over the contract again to clear up some confusion.

The Contract is as follows:

1) Dong Kyung must ask for Myul Mang to destroy the world before she dies (It could be rephrased as Dong Kyung must ask for Myul Mang to destroy the world before her tentative expiration date)

2) During Dong Kyung’s last 100 days, Myul Mang will prevent her from feeling any pain

3) Myul Mang has to grant her one real wish

4) If Dong Kyung breaks the contract (does not wish for the world to be destroyed) then the person she loves the most will die

If Dong Kyung does not violate the contract as in she wishes for the world to be destroyed, the person she loves dies anyways because you know.... the world is non existent. If Dong Kyung does violate the contract, meaning she does not wish for the world to be destroyed, the person she loves dies too because her doom is transferred to them. Some have also wondered whether she can has to ask for the world to be destroyed in order to get her one real wish to be granted. In my opinion, I don't think so. I think she can still get her one real wish to be granted regardless of whether she wishes for doom upon the world or not. Other things to note is that nothing will happen to Myul Mang if he does not stick to the terms of the contract (i.e keeps Dong Kyung pain free and granting her one real wish) because as Dong Kyung said "If I violate" not "If either you or I violate".

Now something to pay close attention to is #4. In Ep 2, Myul Mang had said he would take Dong Kyung’s doom (brain cancer) and transfer it to someone she loves. This is the part I missed! I’d thought that all Myul Mang was doing was transferring the death that was meant for her, not that he was actually removing her source of death which was her brain cancer. Therefore, if Dong Kyung breaks the contract, she will live because her brain cancer is removed and is subsequently transferred into the person she loves, causing them to die instead. I feel incredibly stupid for missing this important piece of info. In light of this new info, I will therefore retract my previous theory that Dong Kyung’s one wish will be to cure her brain cancer.

For those who were confused by that scene of Dong Kyung going to the beach and staying away from everyone, here are my thoughts on that. Dong Kyung was trying to find a loophole. The loophole was that she was planning on violating the contract while protecting the people she loves. This means that Dong Kyung was planning on ending herself at the beach (you can't wish for doom upon the world if you're already dead) and accepting her doom (her doom can't be transferred to anyone else because she accepts it in herself).

Who’s Going to Get Dong Kyung’s Brain Cancer and Die?

I recently had a eureka moment a few days ago before Eps 9-10 aired that led me to formulating a new theory -- it's actually Dora who will inherit Dong Kyung’s brain cancer and die. Let’s think through some things first, “the person you love the most will die”. The most obvious choice is Myul Mang. However, if you think about that statement in a more abstract way, you can see that if Dong Kyung loves her life, then the person who will die is Dora. Remember that Dora is basically the personification of life.

To further add evidence that supports this theory, I present to you Exhibit A, Dora’s massive nosebleed. We know Dong Kyung has a rare type of brain cancer and it’s located in her frontal lobe. As days pass, the brain tumor is growing or metastasizing. In theory, the tumor could grow into nearby areas such as her nasal cavity and cause Dong Kyung to have nose bleeds (FYI: In real life, I’m a scientist with experience in the field of oncology and most of the time brain tumors don’t grow outside of the brain. It can happen, but it is very rare!). Now, think about the events that occurred before Dora's nose bleed. For example, Dong Kyung was out and about enjoying her time with Myul Mang and her family and friends. Essentially, Dong Kyung was beginning to love her life. This causes Dora to suffer because she is taking in Dong Kyung's illness into herself. Subsequently, this leads to Dora experiencing some of the symptoms of Dong Kyung's brain cancer (e.g nose bleed). Thus, as Dong Kyung is beginning to live, Dora is beginning to die.

Exhibit B: Adventures of Pinocchio. At the end of the story, the Fairy (Dora) heals an ailing Geppetto (Dong Kyung) as a reward for Pinocchio (Myul Mang) becoming a good boy. Following this, we don’t hear much about what happens to the Fairy except that she’s in laying in a hospital on the verge of death. It is implied that in order to heal Geppetto, the Fairy had to take his illness into herself. Afterall, nothing is without consequences, someone must pay so that others can be happy. Much like the story of Pinocchio, Dora is doing the same thing as the Fairy. Dora is taking in Dong Kyung’s illness so that Dong Kyung can freely love her son, Myul Mang, without consequences (e.g Myul Mang dying).

Exhibit C: Dong Kyung walking around like she didn’t have brain cancer while in seclusion. You would think that since she didn’t see Myul Mang to recharge, she would be experiencing some severe symptoms, but nope she was walking around as if she was cured! I wonder where her cancer went.......DORA!

Exhibit D: Dora telling Dong Kyung to be madly in love and live. Basically Dora saying, "Love my son and live, don't worry about your brain cancer or him dying because I'm taking care of it."

Why Dora Didn't Want Myul Mang To See Her

For those wondering why Dora didn’t want Myul Mang to see her, here are my two cents. One explanation is that Dora probably didn’t want him to figure out that she was inheriting Dong Kyung’s brain cancer. It would’ve made him feel guilty to see that his mother was willing to take on even more pain just so he could be happy. Another explanation is that Myul Mang still has a lot of growing up to do (to become human). Dora didn’t want him to get the idea that he’s out of the clear just yet. Meaning if Myul Mang had found out that Dora was doing this for him then he would’ve thought life was a breeze now and have no further motivations to want to grow, thus ruining Dora’s plan for him (to grow up to become a good human). There’s no better motivation to make someone grow than the thought of their love ones dying.

Final Theory on Dong Kyung’s Wish

In my previous post, I had discussed that without knowing the limits of what one could or could not wish for, it was difficult for me to accurately predict what Dong Kyung’s wish would be. However, in this week’s episode, I was finally given the limits: the wish must be a wish that is doom in nature. I thought to myself, what could be a good thing to end? Oh, that’s right, Myul Mang’s immorality. Dong Kyung must say “I wish for your immortal life to end” or something along those lines. The combination of Dong Kyung’s wish + Myul Mang’s willingness to sacrifice himself for her + Dora’s plant = the rebirth of Myul Mang into a real boy....oops I mean real hu-man.

The Ending of DAYS

So, what kind of ending will DAYS have? Prepare yourselves. I think it’s going to be a bittersweet ending because it goes with the one of the main themes DAYS which is dualism. I think Myul Mang will be reborn as a human, but still have his doom responsibilities (so more like a fake human). He will probably end up becoming like Dora in the sense that he gets to experience the cycle of life and death over an infinite amount of time. Dong Kyung won’t be reborn in his next life cycle (remember Myul Mang tells that crazy lady there’s no afterlife; humans only have this one life). I guess the notion that the love he and Dong Kyung share will always be with him and forever serve as a shining beacon even in his loneliest days is sweet, but still I want a happy ending!!!

Now excuse my language, but to hell with dualism and what is logical! I want a happy ending where Myul Mang becomes human, lives with Dong Kyung, and when he dies that’s it. No coming back to doing his doom job in a different life. Dora can create another herald of doom. Dora did it once before and she could do it again lol. Or if Myul Mang must come back in a different life, at least allow Dong Kyung to be reborn at the same time. I mean you can grow the same plant again…. EVER HEARD OF PROPROGATION DORA?!! Metaphorically speaking, if Dong Kyung is a sunflower, then wait until she dies, harvest her seeds and grow her again…. it’s that simple Dora!!!

Some Thoughts on the Writer of DAYS

The writer (Im Meari) of DAYS is at best, pretentious and at worst, derivative. She’s more or less just rehashing the works of other great philosophers (Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Deleuze, etc). She presents DAYS as a collection of major philosophical concepts with the intention to differentiate herself from that of other kdramas writers. She goes onto placing great stress on the idea that in order to innovate or bring about a new beginning, one must deviate from the norm, yet she herself does not diverge from the ideas of other philosophers. She does not present any philosophy of her own. In this aspect, she is a hypocrite to the very ideas she tries to preach. Oh well, to each their own. Who knows, maybe my opinion of Im Meari will change by the end of the series. Anyways, I’m still here for the romance between the actors and actresses and solving mysteries!

Ep 11 Preview Predictions

Here are my predictions for Ep 11 based off of the preview, they may or may not be correct !

Dong Kyung takes back the bracelet from Myul Mang after their conversation on the beach. Honestly, I’m growing tired of this whole giving/taking the bracelet type situation lol.

Dong Kyung enjoys a nice vacation with Myul Mang on Jeju island.

Dong Kyung returns from the vacation because she finds out that her aunt is sick (probably from worrying about Dong Kyung). Dong Kyung beats herself up about it.

Dong Kyung is sick again (probably from hating life...remember that I had theorized that the more Dong Kyung loves her life, the sicker Dora will be become) and Myul Mang in his desperation pleads with Dora to help him, but Dora’s version of helping him is to …. surprise surprise… teach him another lesson. The lesson is that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and that Myul Mang and Dong Kyung complete each other for the better. Dora shows Myul Mang what their lives would've been like if they had never existed in each other’s lives.

Dong Kyung having never experience any kind of suffering would live a healthy life but become the most unappreciative and spoiled person ever. She may go on to finding that life was pretty meaningless and would want to put an end to it all. And Myul Mang having never met Dong Kyung wouldn't have any motivation or desire to grow as a person and so he would remain stagnant. And who knows… maybe at some point, that Myul would’ve became so angry with humans that he would personally go around killing every last one of them.

[padfootastic]

hi :) I actually disagree with that last anon! I don’t think Harry ever faded in how he felt about Sirius.

I think in OOTP after Umbridge almost caught Sirius he was just TERRIFIED, and Harry is kinda like… idk… always feeling like the only one who fully understands the gravity of any situation (makes sense, given what he’s been through) but he was just so afraid that he decided to never use it, hid the package, and completely forgot about it. I think it was primarily fear that made him never use it.

As for HBP, idk a lot of Harry’s internal dialogue was how he was too upset to talk about sirius, he never wanted to discuss him with anyone, anytime he was brought up he just completely shut down, and then at dumbledores funeral he reckoned with the fact that he looked for some loophole for sirius to be alive, whilst with albus he had more acceptance. But I think it all really displays Harry’s grief, whilst continuing with the plot of the story.

In the DH he does have the thought “he was about to become as reckless as a godfather to teddy as sirius was to him” which yeah is a bit annoying of him but at the same time from Harry’s perspective he came back in the country “just because his scar twinged” (when in reality sirius was just being the parent he was always meant to be for him), but also I think the biggest parallel is sirius went off on a “mission” just like Harry was doing- obviously there are some key differences, and if hagrid had given Harry to sirius I have no doubt sirius would have not gone anywhere.

Just my perspective on it! I love hearing how other people perceive things so I wanted to share :)

hello! thank u for this, it’s always great to see other perspectives (esp since i usually live in a sirius echo chamber so ykno)

i totally agree it was fear that made him act that way, but fear also makes you take very stupid decisions so its not mutually exclusive, i’d say. it just kind of fucks me up that he never even *opened* the package, ykno? not even out of curiosity. (although, i guess you can say he wanted to remove temptation altogether so he completely put it out of mind. to be fair, i *get* why he acted that way, it just annoyed me lol)

fair fair, that’s one way to narratively deal with the grief of a character who u don’t care about, and who’s not that important in the larger scheme of things since shutting down + not thinking about it is something a lot of people do.

hmmm, idk that seems super random to think, especially because sirius coming back when his scar twinged is what allowed him to keep in contact with harry all the while, right? in any case, i’m always super sympathetic to harry so i don’t even blame him for thinking something like that. but whenever stuff like that pops up, it just always makes me think its jkr trying to malign sirius like she did with molly and hermione, where she’s showing us one thing but telling another.

honestly the sirius-harry parallels are off the chart. even the ‘being made godfather in the middle of a war’ thing is,,,,oof.

[here4theheartbreak]

I'll, brick by brick, rebuild us Out of how's and why's, not when's Nothing quite prepared me for when that piano sang again

I’ve had this song (and others) from The Amazing Devil on repeat for ages and I still can’t get enough. I want to share every verse on my blog and keep it there always and throw it to everyone that passes because I just adore this group - the music is so pretty and haunting and allows for so much mental imagery and interpretation. But - this post isn’t meant to be a love letter to The Amazing Devil (but honestly - give them a listen, they are so good).

I’m still around - still writing. Moving a little slower these days because I have a few more interests sort of splitting my time and I’m a little torn. Obviously still writing for BTS (working on a fic that’s just around 30k rn and still going). I have a lot of ideas for SHINee fics as well, and some even for Astro fics, and some more BTS ones. I have a lot of ideas that are just sort of there... Like plots that could reasonably be tweaked to fit any group I wanted. Which I think is causing some trouble because I have so many options and making decisions is not my forte lol.

I’m super duper hyperfixated on The Witcher as well; working my way through the books and playing one of the games (just finished the main story of the game tonight and teared up because I’m a big baby). So that interest of course adds the fact that I now so desperately want to write a fic for The Witcher but have no idea what I’d do for one. I just really love that bard ok?!

So there’s a lot splitting my attention, but I’m still around. I’m also doing my annual bingo event over at bangtanwritingbingo - this year’s sign ups are open for another month if you’re interested! Next year I think I’m going to open it up to more groups than just BTS to allow more folks a chance to play (and selfishly - because I want to use some SHINee and other groups too).

On the real life front, things are well - as most of you know I had my top surgery in November. I’m healing up nicely - back to full mobility pretty much, albeit still numb in big sections of my chest. I have scar strips and they seem to be doing their job - I intend to get the scars tattooed over anyways so I’m less worried about color and more worried about them being raised/sunken, etc - the strips seem to be preventing that thankfully. I have a follow up at the end of this month to make sure it’s all healing up well and do any final liposuction as needed, etc.

I’m dealing with the fiasco of changing my gender marker on my birth certificate now that I’ve had a surgery (required by laws of my birth state) - but unfortunately getting the court order needed while living in my current state requires a name change... Which I had ages ago so... I’m going to add a second middle name as sort of a sneaky loophole, but I’d actually kind of like to pick one I enjoy and wouldn’t mind using at times, so it’s a bit of a struggle there. I’ll figure it out though.

But, all in all, all is well. Working on keeping a positive mindset toward things, shutting the door on negative and toxic influences where I can, and practicing being mindful of my own negativity - expressing it healthily as I’m able to, and trying not to let it grab hold and fester. There have been definite improvements in my overall mental health because of this, and I’m able to admit I’m proud of the place I’ve gotten to. 

Mostly just a random update post since it’s been a while since my voice was on my own blog in anything but tags, and for anyone who’s following me and curious about how my life/writing etc is going. I hope everyone reading this is safe and happy; keep your head up through the mess out there, wear your masks, stay healthy, all those well wishes. <3

[baldinggoat]

I wrote a really long post about playersexuality about a year ago mostly targeting other crpgs, but I updated it a bit and decided to throw it on this blog too. It’s a bit repetitive, and it isn’t perfect, but it’s important to me that I’ve been trying to parse my direct feelings towards the phenomenon for a long time and I wanted to write it out. 

It mostly came from this article/post, and then kind of grew from there. It isn’t a direct criticism of Baldur’s Gate 3 or how Larian studios is writing queer sexuality, but if the shoe fits...well...

First of this all comes from someone with a trans and bi perspective. So it’s all subjective obviously. None of this is about discrediting bisexual characters, but critically analyzing how games depict queer sexuality. I just want more people to understand how playersexuality does hurt gay people who want gay characters, and hurt bi people who want more tangible representation and not a “schrodinger's” bisexuality.

Bisexuality/pansexuality isn’t necessarily being attracted to someone regardless or despite gender. It’s being attracted to more then one gender. Gender does, in fact, matter In relationships. Its frustrating really. My relationship to gender means a lot to me. It’s shaped my whole life. When I want someone to love me, I want them to love me for me AND acknowledge my gender. It’s a part of who I am. I don’t want it to be ignored. I’ve never had the privilege to ignore my gender, and I’ve never had the privilege of other people ignoring it either, since I’m trans. It’s not my only quality, but it’s a big part of my personal story and growth. Whenever I want to date anyone, I always have to have a conversation with them about our sexualities and my gender.

When you make a game with a story about fictional characters, you usually want the audience to care about said characters. You want to make it possible for the audience to empathize with them in some way. But in the end, all they ever will be is the game developer’s IDEA of what a person is, never an actual person. How sexuality and gender are presented in the story is all but an idea of how the game developers want sexuality and gender to be presented to the audience.

The bottom line is this: game companies have incentive for making money first. Game devs rarely care about giving lgbtq people a character that has an experience that the audience can empathize with. The audience that includes cishet people, because when everyone empathizing with fictional lgbtq characters, that’s what gives us “representation”. Because that’s what that actually means. Representation is about speading stories about our experiences being lgbtq to help other lgbtq people know that they aren’t alone, and also that it’s not a bad thing to be lgbtq. Playersexual characters don’t acknowledge that experience in their narrative, they aren’t representation.

And I real human being doesn’t need to tell you their sexuality. An actual gay or bisexual person doesn’t need to disclose anything about their past to “prove” their gay or bisexual. That’s because it’s an invasion of privacy, and when someone does tell you these things its because they trust you. It’s why “coming out of the closet” is something that exists. We are NOT entitled to know these things, yet everyone is assumed straight because that’s what is expected, so telling someone these things is an act of trust. But when it comes to fictional characters, there’s never that invasion of privacy. There’s no need to respect their boundaries, because as an omniscient audience we’re able to see different, imaginary perspectives. A game developer can always give us a clear indication of a character’s sexuality, and they can even do it without the characters stating it (although they should because that helps normalize people talking about their sexuality). It never has to be obfuscated or ignored. If it is obfuscated in some way, it’s because it’s the game developers’ intention. They don’t want to make a character’s sexuality clear and therefore, don’t actually care about lgbtq people.

So you play a videogame. There’s a character who admits they have feelings for the player. This character never talks about the gender of your character when it comes to the relationship. The character also, interestingly enough, never talks about a history of relationships with the same gender or mentions their attraction to the same gender. Even if they do, it’s a one off comment, innuendo, and/or never a full admission, something small that can be missed and ignored without deeper thought. (Also using correct pronouns isn’t acknowledging you’re in a relationship with someone who’s the same gender btw, it’s just common fucking courtesy).

The only way you ever even know that the character even is willing to date the same gender is if your character is there, and willing to date them. If your player character didn’t exist, you would never know this character dates the same gender. It’s schrodinger's bisexuality! The npc’s sexuality is not there unless you, the player, make it a part of your story. It doesn’t belong to the character. I hope that makes sense, because in the end the player is doing all the work for the writers. I also find it extremely unrealistic that in these situations, the characters are in serious romantic/sexual relationships and never talk about their history with dating the same gender, even casually.

What truly makes me sad though is how fandom, especially other bi people, will claim playersexuality as legitimate bisexual representation. It’s truly depressing that videogame writers have been able to find this loophole, use it, and abuse it. It gives game companies, that absolutely do not care about actually representing lgbtq people in their stories, credit where no credit is due. Of course I’m not trying to go after bi fans, and they aren’t wrong to claim these characters are bisexual, because that’s the whole point of calling it schrodinger's bisexuality. I personally don’t think infighting with other fans about whether a character is actually bisexual or not will get anyone anything except a migraine. What I do think, is people should be more critical about how videogame companies are presenting sexuality in their stories, and focus on criticizing that.

Edit: On a personal note, I also hate fandom using playersexuality to try to say the character’s sexuality is up for “interpretation” so they “headcanon” said character as straight or gay. That’s just biphobic. But, when trans/bi/gay people are talking about playersexuality, it’s usually from a more constructive outlook, where we just want the game studios to be held more accountable for erasure. This is also why I prefer the term “schrodinger's bisexuality”. Bisexual when you want them to be, not bisexual when you don’t want them to be.

I know people want the comfort, the ease, and the simplicity that playersexuality brings. I know it’s been used in games for years, and at one time it was the only queer content and representation games had. But times are changing, and game companies need to change. We need actual Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans characters, not a schrodinger's bisexuality. If you allow anyone and everyone to be able to romance any character regardless of gender, then you don’t have to worry about straight players being mad a character they want to romance is gay, or lgbt players being upset a character is straight.

Continuing to use playersexuality isn’t an “everyone’s happy” solution to people asking for more gay/bi characters in videogames. It’s obvious this has everything to do with money, since it’s making games viable for a wider audience and not actually giving queer people representation. It’s also painfully obvious when you have so much undeniable m/f that is central to the story.

I know game studios aren't a monolith. I know developing a game is usually convoluted and rarely linear. I also know it’s a company, and there are “layers” of writing, and things tend to go through a grind before they get green-lite. I know there’s never a singular person making decisions how character’s sexuality are depicted, and theres always more going on behind doors we may never know. Maybe game studios using playersexuality are trying to depict more lgbtq representation and some “big man” up top wont let them. But I highly doubt it, and think it has to do with marketability, because this is a product that is on the market.

TL; DR: I’m an annoying transgenderer who’s entitled and believes videogames should cater to me. Making companions/npcs playersexual, especially all of them, is a horrible, lazy, homophobic, and biphobic writing decision. Game companies don’t care about lgbtq people. Support lgbtq people, help donate to lgbtq content creators when you can, and help lgbtq people in fandom feel safe.

Aka Donate to my ko-fi lol

[shmegmilton]

Can you explain how Aaron and Alexander stopped being friends and started fighting?

They were never really ‘friends.’ I assume you got that idea from the play, but I have no idea why the play tried to push that narrative. Civil? Sure, but that was necessary. New York was less than 50,000 people at the time, and they were both accomplished lawyers & statesmen who had to work and interact with each other on a daily basis. Politics is politics, look at how people are acting right now during our election. 

As for your question, it’s a long line of policy & personal disagreements, mostly. They were on opposite sides of the aisle on pretty much everything. Lots of small things, but a lot of big, BIG things.

     Burr was (ironically) kind of a pacifist; he kept mostly to himself, didn’t really speak much publicly & didn’t necessarily go out of his way to confront people unless he’s been pushed long enough (everyone ‘snaps’ at some point, y’know?)

But that’s why the ‘Burr is an evil mastermind’ myth is so pervasive today. Burr just… didn’t bother defending himself, or correcting anything, because he (mistakingly) had faith in the inherent goodness of people that someday people would see him for his true character. So for that reason, we don’t really have a good timeline from Burr’s perspective as to how he felt about Hamilton—but BOY howdy did Hamilton never shut up about Burr.

----

Trespass & Confiscation Acts  (1782ish)

     During the Revolution, the British confiscated the property of patriots that fled the city. New York did the same thing, & for a while it was this game of: ‘Oh, you’re gonna take my stuff? **draws a line in the dirt** Well, everything behind this line is mine now.” It was all very bad, and after the way Tories & Loyalists faced a lot of honestly very fucked up discrimination & forfeiture of their rights. Hamilton (like most Federalists) was pro-British, so he represented a lot of these people in court. I’m sure it wasn’t purely out of the goodness of his heart--most of his clients were loaded--but the sentiment is there. On the other hand, there are multiple records of Burr buying up property around this time, most likely confiscated Tory property, which he would usually flip or give away to people that he knew, so he was taking full advantage of this. Burr also, most likely, went head-to-head with Hamilton on a few of these cases, because Burr tended to work with the ‘common folk.’

French Revolution (1789ish to 1799ish) & Proclamation of Neutrality (1793)

     Burr (like most Democratic-Republicans) was pro-French, so much so that he took in French refugees fleeing the Revolution into his home. He was very sympathetic to the cause.Hamilton was not. He basically saw it the same way that right-wing Conservatives see the Black Lives Matter movement is the best way I can explain it. He also hated it for the amount of immigrants that were now fleeing to the U.S.

Burr Gets Chosen For NY Senate (1791)

     Key word: chosen. As in, he didn’t actually run. That wasn’t how politics worked back then. The Hamilton musical just fucking lied outright about that, let’s be clear. He also never switched parties. Ever. Back then you were nominated by the people who were already in government--usually by one of the powerful families like the Clintons or the Livingstons, or yada yada. So Burr didn’t actually do anything. He didn’t even really want the position either, if I recall. But back then if you were ‘called to serve,’ you were obligated to do it. Hamilton was furious either way because it meant that Burr was replacing his father-in-law, Phillip Schuyler, meaning that he wouldn’t have that extra ear in government that he wanted. Burr also had a lot of views that were considered ‘extreme’ at the time, like getting extra rights for women, immigrants & black people, but I have no idea what Hamilton thought of those individual policies other than he just didn’t like women, immigrants or black people.

1792 & 1796 Presidential Election

Burr wasn’t really that serious about either of these elections, I don’t think (in ’92 he wasn’t that well-known & barely got any support, but it’s worth noting the fact he was nominated to run at all was really impressive. He’s tied with William Jennings Bryan as being one of the youngest people to ever receive an electoral vote, at 36 years old.) In ’96 he faired a little better—he got 30 votes, which is nearly half of what you need to get the ticket nomination, also very impressive.Hamilton was super staunchly opposed to both of these runs, though, and did his typical Hamilton thing of openly campaigning about how the people shouldn’t vote for Burr, yada yada.

Jay Treaty (1794)

     I highly suggest looking up supplemental information on this because it’s a bit complicated, but it was basically a treaty between us and Great Britain to reaffirm that we were going to continue to not mess with France, as well as a couple of other weird hang-ups. It was not popular, at all, especially with the Demo-Republicans. There is a specific instance (that is actually kind of insane) where Hamilton gave a public speech in defense of it, and the Democratic-Republicans in the crowd started pelting him & the other Federalists with rocks. Hamilton got SO mad that immediately challenged a man to a duel, and threatened to fight each of the Democratic-Republicans one-by-one.  

Reynolds Affair (1797)

     Burr had a personal relationship with Maria Reynolds; he was her divorce attorney in 1793/1794, helped her out financially, & successfully petitioned (+paid for) her daughter Susan to attend a boarding school. I believe they also stayed in his him with him during the divorce proceedings, but don’t quote me on that. He never said anything publicly that I could find, but Burr probably had a personal investment in the Reynolds Pamphlet, since it painted Maria in a really damaging light.

Alien & Sedition Acts (1798)

     These were some of the most worst laws ever passed in the history of the country. Like, these were AWFUL. It not only limited immigration, but it limited the freedom of the press and freedom of speech (ESPECIALLY immigrants, my god.)

Burr was right on the front lines helping defend people in court, he actively opposed it & is probably the thing that propelled him into Jefferson’s orbit as a potential Vice President.

John Barker Church Duel (1797)

John Barker Church had accused Burr of taking bribes (which was unfounded & untrue) and they ended up dueling. JBC was the husband of Angelica Schuyler, Hamilton’s sister-in-law.

Neither was injured (though, JBC apparently put a hole in Burr’s coat), but it supposed infuriated Hamilton & his associates so much that they would send out fake letters “from Burr” challenging people to duels.

The Manhattan Company (1799)

    Burr was getting sick of the difficulty he was having getting loans from the Federalist-run banks and decided to do something about it. There had been several seasonal epidemics of yellow fever—caused by mosquitos but, at the time, it was thought to be caused by improperly treated water, miasma (‘bad air’) or (if you asked Hamilton) stinky evil immigrant refuges who were fleeing France and Haiti. Burr saw this and spearheaded a campaign to get a proper water treatment plant, even getting Hamilton to help him. Through some really weird loophole that I don’t quite understand, Burr was somehow allowed to use the ‘surplus capital’ for banking, which essentially turned it into a bank. The actual water treatment portion of the company was plagued with problems due to improper management and things like that.     We’ll never know his exact thought process on this (people normally assume it was malicious trickery because people are biased to hate Burr anyway) & I highly doubt that Burr knew the extent of the issues (he was on the Board of Directors, but so were a dozen others--INCLUDING John Barker Church) so I don’t entirely think it’s his fault, but the fact of the matter is that it most likely exacerbated the existing problems & indirectly led to more people getting sick/dying until they finally fixed the problems.I would say that it’s completely justifiable for Hamilton to be mad at Burr, but, as we established, Hamilton hated both poor people & immigrants (two groups most likely affected by this) so he wasn’t actually mad at him for the reason a… y’know, a normal person would be mad at him. He was mad at him because Burr destroyed the monopoly that Federalists had on banks, making it easier for Democratic-Republicans & others to get loans. He was literally mad at him for making the economy fair.

1800 Election & 1804 NY Governor Election

  These two are self-explanatory, I think, and I’ve already been writing way too long, lol. My hand hurts.

[notemily]

The Witcher episode 5:

Oh yay! A young man with a collection of body parts! There's no way this can go horribly wrong.

"The White Flame made me who I am." That sounds like some bad news.

Doppler is now Mousesack. And Mousesack is... dead?

"You don't know what she is." That was the question at the end of last episode too.

Yennefer goes to see a man with a million hourglasses. He wants more money from her, so she sets up a shingle in town. This angers some dude.

Ciri is a girl with the powers of a weapon. Like when she uses scream power? Huh. She did open a whole chasm in the earth that one time.

"The sword of destiny has two edges." Is one of them serrated? That way you can cut bread.

"What is time, anyway?" My thoughts exactly, Jaskier. I so desperately want to Google "Witcher timeline" but I will be SO spoiled if I do that.

Geralt can't sleep. He wants a djinn.

Geralt says Jaskier's singing is like a fillingless pie. Oh, it's not that bad!

They try to free a djinn from a bottle so Geralt can sleep. Jaskier immediately starts wishing for ridiculous things but before he can get a third wish out he stops being able to breathe. Uh oh.

Jaskier coughs and vomits blood. That's not good! They take him to an elf doctor.

His throat was attacked? But he needs his throat for the singing! Noooo!

The elf says there is one (1) mage in town, and that mage is imprisoned in the mayor's house. There's no way this can go horribly wrong.

Yennefer wants a cure... For what? Her infertility? I don't think that one's coming back dude. Your uterus was yeeterus.

Teal Witch, who is still wearing teal, offers Yennefer a teaching position to shape the next generation. She is not interested.

Dude at the mayor's house says "money opens all doors," so Geralt hits him in the face with his money bag and is like "yes it does." Lol

There's an orgy happening in the mayor's house! But like there's fog everywhere, so I have no idea if any of these people are real. Yennefer is real, though. They meet at last!

Poor Jaskier can't even enjoy the orgy, he's barely breathing.

"Just a friend, I hope?" Are you asking if they're dating? Yennefer, are you hitting on Geralt?

Geralt offers to indulge her curiosity all night long, as long as they can help Jaskier, like, now. It's kind of urgent.

Yennefer says the safeword that ends the orgy, and everyone looks embarrassed and leaves. Hee. She helps Jaskier and tells Geralt he stinks and needs a bath.

"Go ahead, ask about them. Everyone does." Meaning his scars. "Everyone else is boring." She decides to get naked and join the bath instead.

Geralt guesses that Yennefer had some "ailment" before and that her childhood was miserable.

"Do you doubt my capabilities?" "No, just your intentions." He is correct to doubt them.

Now Geralt is getting distracted by the smell of lilacs and gooseberries. And Yennefer is kissing on him. He sleeps! Well, I guess that's the nap he's been wanting. It's also apparently a trap.

When he wakes up, Elf Doctor tells him he's been on a rampage, doing Yennefer's bidding. Elf Doctor tried to stop him but they assumed he was there to help, I guess because of anti-elf racism?

"I just remembered, I left my... cat... on the... stove..." Hee hee hee.

"Toss a coin to your Witcher, oh valley of PENIS" This episode has some great lines.

Geralt wishes that the dude torturing him would burst, and he does. He's the one with the wishes!

"She wants to be the vessel." Well, in a manner of speaking. She wants a babby. It's interesting that the amphora she draws on herself looks a lot like a uterus.

"Dammit Yennefer, tell me what you want!" "I WANT EVERYTHING!" I think there's a loophole there where you can't wish for "everything."

Geralt wishes for something, and we aren't allowed to hear what it is. The whole damn roof collapses. Yennefer portals them out of there.

"This can't be happening." By Talos?

Elf Doctor is a bit in love with Yennefer. Because she's a quarter elf?

"When did you last feel happy when you felt trapped?" He has a good point.

They kiss. There is jaunty music of sexy shenanigans.

Jaskier wonders what to do with his life. He's planning to write the BEST song about it, but then Elf Doctor spies on their sexy times. "They're alive!" "Bollocks."

"My plan worked," Geralt says. Yennefer asks, "What did you wish for?" I still don't understand what his FIRST wish - oh, he wished for Jaskier to shut up. I get it now. (I SOMETIMES FIGURE THINGS OUT ALL BY MYSELF WITHOUT HAVING TO ASK KATE)

Fake Mousesack has come for Princess Cici, years in the future.

MAKE HIM DRINK FROM THE WATERS GUYS. Doooo it. Come on come on come on.

The leader of the dryads tells Ciri to be vigilant and ask the right questions. I'm like, yes, be vigilant RIGHT NOW! Dammit.

episode 1 - episode 2 - episode 3 - episode 4 - episode 5 - episode 6 - episode 7

[fanfalc-616]

The Rights Of A Nindroid

Chapter Fifteen

(Prevoius Chapter Here)

(Discord Here)

Been a while since I’ve posted, sorry about that-

I’m supposed to be in school rn lol

When finally taken back to the lockers, after thirty exhausting hours, Cryptor feels as though he’s on the verge of a forced shutdown.

The damn brat had switched out with someone else, claiming something about an internship. And that had at least meant that the one hurting him no longer had a personal vendetta, but it was still painful.

Cryptor hates how close he had come to actually asking them to hurt Zane instead, but he didn’t. Though judging by the way the other looks when the two of them are put in the locker, they hurt him anyway.

DID THEY GIVE YOU A CHOICE TOO?

Zane doesn’t answer for a moment, likely out of surprise or maybe exhaustion.

I DIDNT GIVE IN

Cryptor snorts. Of course he didn’t. He’s a self-sacrificing dumbass, and it had been that knowledge that had allowed Cryptor to hang on himself.

HOW LONG A BREAK DO YOU THINK WELL GET?

It’s a morbid game, really, but the two of them had taken to guessing how long they would get before dragged out for testing or torture.

AT LEAST SIX HOURS WE WERE THERE FOR OVER A DAY

Mulls over the words, Cryptor considers the idea. Zane’s probably right, but he feels like arguing.

OR THEYLL WANT TO BEAT IT INTO US WITH A SHORTER ONE

There’s a pause, and Cryptor takes a moment to hate himself. Yes, start an argument with his one friend, that’s a wonderful idea.

IS SOMEONE HAVING A BAD DAY?

Cryptor snorts. Good, Zane can tell when he’s only pretending to argue. Probably picked that up from his teammates.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The friendly banter continues for a while, but Cryptor can eventually feel himself shutting down from exhaustion.

He taps out a goodbye and a quick explanation before falling asleep, hoping- but not expecting- that they’ll get today off.

{ { { { { { { { { { ~ } } } } } } } } } }

Jay is starting to lose his grip.

Kai had gotten himself under house arrest by breaking into the government building- which he neglected to tell them the location of before doing so- and since they live on the Bounty, they’re stuck grounded so that the police can make sure that Kai’s not leaving.

Also he’s been sulking the whole time.

It’s already been almost two months, but he still has another four left, and everyone on the ship is going crazy from it.

“I am this close to renting a hotel until his house arrest is over.” Nya holds up her hand so that her pointer finger and thumb are almost touching.

Cole sighs, shaking his head. “I’d join you, but at this point I’m scared of leaving him unsupervised.”

Jay laughs a little. “Honestly, what could he do that’s worse than what he’s already done?”

The two immediately snap over to looking at him.

“Are you trying to jinx it?!” Cole groans. “You know full well how crazy he can get when it comes to protecting us.”

Wincing, Jay accepts the point. “That’s fair. But I doubt he would-“

Lloyd comes running into the room. “Kai left the ship. He tied his house arrest bracelet to the roomba so it would move, and I don’t know where he went.”

Jay blinks. “I stand corrected.”

Then they’re all scrambling to their feet, rushing off to try and find the dumbass hot head that is Kai.

Cole runs outside, probably off to go look at his usual hiding places- he’s run off before, but never under house arrest.

Nya goes to her computer, most likely going to try and track his phone- that’s her usual go-to for when one of them goes off to do something stupid.

He’s not entirely sure where Lloyd’s going, but he probably has some kind of plan.

But before Jay has the chance to come up with his own, his BorgPhone rings with a number that he doesn’t recognize.

A flash of fear takes over him. Oh, Kai better not have gotten captured. What happens if he has? They might hurt him, he might go to prison, he could get into all kinds of trouble!

With shaky hands, Jay hits accept and holds the phone up to his ear.

“Hey, this is Jay Walker. Who is this and how have I ruined your life?” Somehow, he manages to keep his voice from shaking.

“It’s more of your boyfriend who’s doing that.” Sentry grumbles. “I found Kai sneaking into Borg Tower- he was trying to find more hints of ways to rescue Zane. Please come and get him before he gets caught- I shoved him in a back room to keep people from finding him, but he’ll probably find a way out pretty soon.”

Jay curses softly. “Of course he did. Okay, I’m on my way.” He starts to head out even as he speaks, silently complaining about how reckless his boyfriend can be. He loves him, he really does, but sometimes- like now- he really wants to slap him.

It takes him around fifteen minutes to make it to Borg Tower, and when he steps inside, Sentry is standing right next to the door.

“He escapes from the room, so I put him in the timeout corner. He’s handcuffed to the wall, but I’m pretty sure that-“

Jay blinks a few times. “Wh- why do you have a timeout corner? And why does it have handcuffs?”

Sighing, Sentry shakes his head. “The white nindroids were created recently and are pretty immature,” he explains, “so a timeout is a pretty effective way to get them to behave. The handcuffs are for when they still don’t listen- now come on, we should hurry before he finds a way out.”

So Jay lets the nindroid lead him through the tower, trying to stop the way he’s nervously jittering. It- it’ll be fine, it’ll be totally and completely fi-

They come into a back room where Kai is in a chair and in handcuffs that are attached to the wall, forcing his hands above his head.

Jay glances over at Sentry. “Uh-“

“We have two timeout corners. This one is for the nindroids who cause trouble repeatedly. Or in this case, the ninja who does that.” He glares at Kai, but the red ninja looks utterly unapologetic.

“I need to rescue Zane. And you didn’t have to call someone to pick me up, I’m not some child in a school’s principal’s office.” Kai huffs, shifting in his bonds.

Jay starts to try and tell him that he’s totally acting like he’s just got his parents called in an office, but Sentry shakes his head, and speaks up.

“There’s a back door you can take him out so that he doesn’t get caught, but keep a better handle on him next time. We really don’t need him getting an actual prison sentence.”

Glancing at his boyfriend, Jay thinks for a moment, trying to figure out if he’d actually be able to get Kai out of here without being seen.

“I’m going to call Cole,” he decides, “he’ll be able to carry him out of here.”

“I can walk!” Kai protests, looking betrayed. “I don’t need to be carried-“

Sentry nods. “Probably a good idea. He might put up a fight on the way out.”

“I can hear you, you know! I’m right here.” Kai sounds annoyed and frustrated, and Jay sighs, feeling himself cave a little.

“It’s okay, Fire-Hazard. I’ll talk Nya out of murdering you, so long as you promise to actually stay on the ship this time.”

At his words, Kai pales a little. It’s clear he hadn’t thought about how his sister would react to him running off.

“I’ll behave.” He grumbles, clearly unhappy about it. “But I can’t just do nothing.”

With a start, Jay realizes that he’s right. The reason that he keeps doing stupid things is because he needs to be doing something to help- if he doesn’t, he’s going to feel like he’s failing Zane.

So they need to come up with something that he could work on, some way he could get them closer to freeing him.

Maybe if he was working on part of the plan…

Jay looks over at Sentry. “We’re looking for legal loopholes right now, right? Could he help you try and find some? From the computer on the ship, I mean.”

Kai perks up a little, and Sentry looks like he’s considering the idea.

“Will that keep him out of trouble?” He sounds hesitant, but Jay quickly nods.

“He just wants to help, give him a way to do that and he’ll be fine.”

The nindroid looks over at Kai. “Is he seriously going to be able to look through legal documents for longer than thirty seconds?” He sounds unamused, but he pauses again when he sees Kai’s determined expression.

“I looked through a ton of them to break in. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him out.”

After hesitating for only a moment longer, Sentry nods. “Alright,” he agrees, “I’ll send over some I haven’t gotten to yet.”

So Jay ends up only calling Cole so that he can let the others know that Jay found him, and Kai actually walks back without putting up a fuss.

It takes a bit of work to get him on the ship stealthily enough so that any potential cameras couldn’t see, but they manage it.

However, when they step onto the bridge, the three others look annoyed beyond belief.

After a pause, Kai chuckles nervously. “On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble am I in?”

“Eleven.” Nya’s smile expresses anything but happiness, and Cole and Lloyd look only slightly less upset.

Somehow, Jay manages to uphold his promise, talking Nya out of giving Kai some five hour lecture that would probably make him regret existing.

Lloyd grabs Stabby and re-attaches the house arrest bracelet, and it’s not long after that the red ninja is in front of the computer, having about seven files open that he’s comparing and researching.

Later, Cole comes up to him. “The research thing was good thinking; it’ll keep him distracted while still allowing him to help.”

Jay flashes him a smile. “What can I say? I actually have good ideas sometimes.”

Cole smirks. “That’s debatable.”

“You literally just told me that I had a good idea.” Jay reminds with his own grin.

With an overly thoughtful expression, Cole strokes his chin. “Did I? I don’t remember that.”

“Wow, and here I was with the idea that elephants never forget.” Jay snarks back, barely containing his snickers.

Mock gasping, Cole puts a hand over his chest. But as he starts to teasingly reply, his smile fades, and he looks down.

“... Zane loved mock arguments.” He murmurs softly, pain suddenly written on his face.

Jay feels his own cheerfulness drain a little. “It took a while to teach him how, but he got pretty good at them.” He quietly agrees as he remembers the difficulty Zane had used to have with humor.

“He got pretty good at them though.” Cole’s smile is more pained now, but it’s there.

With a soft chuckle, Jay nods. “Absolutely trashed us with them.”

But then the emotions are over taking him, and Jay feels himself shaking at the thought of his titanium boyfriend. Who knows what they’re doing to him, from Kai’s recount they’ve been outright torturing him, he-

Cole puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” He speaks softly, and his voice is uncertain, as though he’s not really sure of himself, even though it sounds like he’s trying to keep it steady.

Jay nods weakly, feeling tears burn at the back of his eyes. “It’ll be okay.” He repeats softly, desperately trying to believe the words.

In the end, Cole has to coax both him and Kai into bed with gentle reassurances and promises that he sounds slightly unsure of, but at this point, Jay’s too desperate to think about how he might be wrong.

He just wants Zane back… is that really too much to ask for?

Apparently, because it doesn’t seem that they’ll be getting him back anytime soon.

That night, even when cuddled in the arms of his other boyfriends, he cries himself to sleep.

Zane will be okay. He has to be okay.

Jay won’t be able to take it if he’s not.