#and what am i doing instead of praying? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eddis-not-eeddis · 16 days ago

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Could I get some prayer? I need to be able to pray again. Since the semester started my time has been so short, and I haven't been praying as much. I've been falling into old sins, bad spiritual habits, depression, and disillusionment. I've lost a lot of joy. I know that my life is so much better when I am praying, I have peace in ways I never have when I stop praying, but I am struggling to pray when I have so many deadlines weighing on me. As life grows harder, I need to be more connected to God, not less, but it isn't easy and I'm struggling.

#and what am i doing instead of praying?#typing this out XD #but i think in this instance I need others to pray over me because when i can't pray for myself #i have seen so much good come from the prayers of others #you guys have moved mountains for me in the past #you don't know how precious your prayers are to me #or how much comfort i receive knowing you are there for me and bringing me before God

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backpackingspace · 3 months ago

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Wait going off the idea that Athena keeps things from her favorite people:

What does diomedes give her?

#epic the musical #The odyssey #Greek myths #Athena #Diomedes #On one hand I would love to see diomedes gifts up on the same shelf of odysseus's carvings #But on the other hand diomedes and Athena have a much more traditional mentor relationship #Verse her absolutely batshit insane relationship she has with odysseus and the love she has for the rest of the family #And diomedes prays /interacts with Athena in a much more traditional way too #So I imagine he gives her proper sacrifices instead of yeeting random wood carvings at her #Maybe this is something that happens later in life for diomedes after he's retired and founded a couple cities #He finally has time to 1. Discover what he actually likes to do and 2. For his relationship with Athena to soften into actual friendship #Diomedes (now forty): carefully placing his first actual gift (instead of sacrifice) on Athens alter #Diomedes: goddess Athena i hope this indulgence is okay. I made this for you as a gift for all the time you have spent helping me #Diomedes: now that my fighting is done i hope you will grace me with you presence from time to time. Thank you goddess for everything.#Athena: who didn't realize she was upset that her and Dios relationship never developed into friendship until this second #Athena: clutching the gift to her chest and using quick thought to scream internally #Athena: voice cracking : It's FINE #(Later Athena dragging odysseus from his bed at 3 am screaming at full volume diomedes finally gave me a gift #He's never given you a gift proof that he likes me better than you get fucked #And then disappears before odysseus can retort because she has to spend hours finding the perfect place for her gift)

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rowenabean · 19 days ago

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#didn't have a big party for my 30th for reasons that were partly distance and partly insecurities/depression #this year being back closer to where my people are decided to do a big party instead this weekend #my first since my 21st (which was... a struggle for also distance related reasons and may have reinforced said insecurities)#i am having to remind myself. i am doing my best none of us get to practice this life #interrupting this to say i just mindlessly slapped at a tickle on my arm only to discover it was HUGE #not the sandflies we've been getting all day but a moth or something at least a cm big! (i grabbed it and threw it away without looking)#anyway. what was i saying. having a little moment where my insecurities are coming back in the middle of the night #and i wonder if i have - again - asked for less than i truly want because i didn't feel like anyone would give the full thing to me #but the point is: i asked for something i wanted and that's something that takes practice. and the point is: i get to try again next year a #d next year and next year. and the point is: we only live this life once but it is not a short life and there will be more chances #to celebrate with the people i love. to ask for what i want. to learn to listen to what i actually want before i make myself smaller out #of habit #but i DID ask for a party and i DID ask for someone who isn't me to host it (a thing i haven't asked for since probably my 21st tbh) and #that's already growth #and it will be fun! i'm a bit sad that no one from my most recent chapter of life can be there but it's no secret that social was hard ther #so i only have 3 friends i wanted to invite anyway and all of them live several hours away #(and one of them i knew couldn't come already when i planned it - she's at a hens party - but we talked about it and decided to go ahead)#idk. really it's ok. but part of why i'm doing this is as a challenge to my own insecurities (as well as because it will be fun!) and i #really pray this year will see some of those insecurities dwindling. that i will be able to really believe that i am lovable and loved.#that's my prayer.

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ryescapades · 2 months ago

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g guys …,,.??:!; GU YSGUYS ….

a little rant in the tags bcs im Emotional™️ and so full of love rn

#yeah so i read the messages on my tree …#what the hell man #WHAT THE HELLLDNWNFBSN #/pos btw #WHY ARE YOU GUYS MAKING ME CRY #ITS LIKE BARELY 8 AM #yall are responsible #for the amount of pillow sheets i have to change #DRENCHED IN TEARS I TELL YA #/hj #i love u guys so much …#CHAT I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH #i wouldve screamed it out loud at the top of a building if i could #but alas im just a shy potato #why do u guys think i usually use ily instead of the full sentence ….#SKJWHDJSJS IM SO AWKWARD AND CRINGE PLS IM SO SORRY #(btw im always down to chat abt anything !! no matter how shy i am to start anything lol)#but yea i pray that everyone here #will get everything theyve ever wished for COME TRUE !!!#kithes and smooches and hugs for u all #i recorded your msgs btw #wanna keep them to myself like a dragon hoarding its precious treasures <3 #u guys r my treasures fr #would want to frame them and put em in my room too if i could hm #or maybe make a scrapbook #wait thats actually a good idea :o #anyways yea i love u guys sm #and i appreciate every one of u here !! thankyou sm for existing !!! and coming into my life !!! <3 #💬 rye rants

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b4kuch1n · 1 year ago

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frog documentation. frogcumentation

I think I mentioned a while back I'd post nibling frog momence after the gift's done given. which happened on the 2nd this month I just forgot lmao. anyways we can do it now. I used the boigameista pattern scaled up to four pieces of A4 print paper and decided to double deck it to a two layer thing, not unlike a pillow, for ease of washin. because it was gonna be gifted to a one year old child

took a long time and made a number of mistakes bc hand sewing makes me worse as a person but this guy was done in time for the birthday occasion and that's what matters. chose non-fuzzy fabrics for it because we live in a dense city in the tropics and from personal experience if I hug something made of fur I would explode. the original plan included felt patterns on its back for bonus textures for baby but that wouldn't stretch well along with the rest of the thing so had to hold that back. eventually we got this

zipper across its ass, the coat type of zipper bc I miscalculated when ordering. but it did have a shape and that's all that matters to me. will be a fun game for the baby to grow up and be severely misinformed about what a frog looks like

happy extremely late birthday to this thing also

#bakuspecial #uhhhh. whats my craft tag. I forgor. update this later #frog plush babeyyyy #I want this thing to last until the heat death of the universe so I felled all the seams down. dont recommend doing this by hand #Im so stubborn lmao I refuse to get a serger I will simply get better at hand sewing instead. damn its taking kinda long #there used to be a Lot more frogs around hanoi. but the lack of clean water ponds and lakes have driven down the population #I live like right at the edge of the city rn tho (will no longer be the case in five years) so there are still a lot of aminals #house robins. skinks. fireflies (!!!!). praying mantises. tree frogs #they love to hang out at the fountain inside the complex right across the street. had to pick em up to return to the fountain #from the hot brick tiled ground a few times #theyre so small. theyre so small....#I miss house geckos they dont show up a lot in our apartment. I wish they would they would love the cockroaches around here #and of course. bc the kind of rice we eat is more short-grained and thus usually not all the way dried like the longer-grained type we have #so many rice weevils. do u know those little fucks do not drown for a Long time #do u know they lay eggs inside the rice grains and that's how u find out ur rice about to become the weevil beverly hill #by washing the rice and seeing hollowed out grains float up. I have become an expert at this.#but I get to see skinks in random bushes so who am I to be pissed about that. skinks rule #this has been baku talks about animals for a mile of tags. thank u for listening #well. its evening and the family wants to go out so that's what we're doin. hope u have a good time too wherever u are #see u this midnight when I reblog every new posts I've made in the last week or so lmao

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sandwichmustbetasty · 4 months ago

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the most awful thing I've come to discover about myself is that when a kind guy that I thought was really nice and all is actually trying t talk to me I freeze and have no idea what to do. Like sure I will make some conversation but when I have a feeling they're trying t flirt with me I get so stressed and so hot all over and ughhh.

And uh he's messaging me right now and I feel like throwing up. And I DO like him I just feel so out of my depth and I really hate changes in my own little routine so any kind of romantic relationship honestly scares me cause it will no longer be me and my fictional blorbos.

And I've never been flirting with a guy I actually think is nice, it's only been guys I wanted to stay friends with getting weird so.

#yes I am writing this only because I'm stalling to read what he's written #pray for me because I'm really fucking anxious #I feel like I really need to see a therapist about this because it's not a first time I'm getting so worked up when things may change #like why do I feel like crying and throwing up instead of being giddy and u know??? happy???#yeah sorry #it's not another rings of power brainrot post unfortunately #rant post #personal rant

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mashmouths · 4 months ago

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does anyone remember "some nights" by fun.

(edit by @stabyou)

#i think i forgot to take my meds this morning and then i got 3 hours of sleep followed by 9 hours of work and the my period started </3 #i fear i may have :3'd too close to the sun #a post #but literally what do i stand for. what do i stand for most nights..... i don't know......... anymoooorreeeee oh woah oh oh woah oh ohoh et #physically cannot stop listening to this song by putting my phone speaker right against my ear despite the fact that i once again have work #in the morning -_- but! at least tomorrow i can wake up at 5:15 instead of 4:15. so that's something #i guess.#it's only 4 hours but pray for me folks i also have 6 hours straight of rehearsals tomorrow a bit afterwards and. so much fucking reading.#tee hee #honey i am smooching your brain forever this image ingrained itself into my dna it's in every one of my cells <3

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skydigiblogs · 9 months ago

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ykw i just realized i haven't actually posted about the shit i liked about ghost game and i was thinking about like.

gammamon and gulusgammamon's relationship today???

the resolution of that whole thing really made me and my system happy, because one of us was literally in the middle of writing an essay about how no one ever does the "superpowered evil side" trope right, yeah?

ghost game is literally the only time i think they've ever done it alright from a system's perspective

mostly because while yeah, that whole conflict comes to a head at the climax of the series, it also doesn't end in some annoying shit where either gammamon Learns To Control His Evil Side (functionally destroying gulus) or Finds A Better Higher Power (technically he does as siriusmon but), he just goes DUDE YOU NEED TO CHILL and gulus grumpily obliges after getting the shit kicked out of him.

i'm pretty sure i've seen a few systems right more in-depth posts about this here on tumblr but like... yeah...

gammamon system my beloved

#sky talks #digimon #digimon ghost game #i was tempted to fold a shitpost into this but decided to separate it out into its own post because i do want to seriously like #bring this up #also yes if you're wondering i was thinking about this because of the gray matter fancomic #which is fleshing this out in a way that i am SOOO excited for #was literally laying in bed last night kicking my feet thinking about how excited i am to see how they handle kaus and wezen #girlies (gender neutral) will literally fantasize about positive plural representation instead of going to sleep #it's me i'm girlies (gender neutral)#i'm going to continue my gray matter fancomic propaganda for a while probably and i'm not sorry #it's a good fancomic #but yeah when we first finished GG we were fucking screaming about siriusmon vs regulusmon #BY THE WAY #THE STAR WE CALL SIRIUS?#IS ACTUALLY TWO STARS ORBITING ONE ANOTHER #SIRIUS A AND SIRIUS B #i'm absolutely feral about that note in the context of gammamon's system by the way #like from the first time we saw gulus our system was freakingg out and desperately praying that it wouldn't end in some stupid shit #(stupid shit defined here as Singlet Weirdness)#AND THEN BANDAI ACTUALLY KIND OF STUCK THE LANDING #LIKE YEAH WE GET THE FIGHT BETWEEN THE TWO BUT GHOST GAME'S DEDICATION TO THE THEME OF “NOT EVERYTHING IS WHAT IT SEEMS”#EVEN EXTENDED TO FUCKING SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG'S DRAGONSONA #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #you know that one image of the person on their hands and knees biting something and tearing it apart like a dog?#that's me with gamma and gulus #god

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buck-up-buck · 9 months ago

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HMMMMM. Let's talk about THIS right now, because WTF.

Is Tim in my walls?

BABES.

Let's delve into this.

First of all, I WAS SO RIGHT ABOUT THEM MEETING IN THE HOSPITAL WHEN BOBBY BRINGS A PATIENT AND I AM GAGGING OVER THIS HOLY FUCK.

@thetangycheesemanwithaplan called the stalker AA plot which is posted below, for ya'll to see, which we just saw in the promo for 7x08 and I am FERAL OVER THAT.

SO NOW, let's delve into the fact that I...

Called Bobby wanted to gain his forgiveness, which is hinted in the promo.

PROTECTIVE ATHENA LIKE LOOK AT HER FACE IN THAT PROMO ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!

The entire revenge plot like come on, I CALLED THIS SHIT SO HARD.

Amir losing someone in the fire, potentially a wife or fiance..... I SAID THAT I ACTUALLY SAID THAT!

NOW, onto my cheeky lil ideas for the next two episodes because I have some more thoughts... Again, these scream AO3 but, let me fantasies okay because that episode and promo did things to me.

Picture this.

Bobby walks into his lil AA meeting and low and behold, there is Amir, ready to throw all Bobby's troubles at him, and Bobby spirals because damnit he wants to make amends with this man and he is making it so. damn. hard.

NOW, Athena is like, you stay the hell away from this man Bobby or so help me GOD I will tie you to this goddamn dining room table with your firehose. So he listens....

UNTIL

He gets a text message from Buck, but no, it's not Buck, ITS AMIR, because AMIR HAS KIDNAPPED BUCK AND IS HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE IN AN ABANDONED EASY MOTEL IN THE DESERT.

"come get your boy. come alone."

Buck is all like "Father help" and Bobby of course is like "OH NO MY BOY" (if you understand this reference I love you, if not, it's okay you made it this far I still love you.)

Bobby shows up and he is READY FOR A GODDAMN FIGHT (Kenneth did day a conflict for Bobby in episode 8 and we did see this man put a LITERAL KNIFE TO BOBBY'S NECK) so if this does not scream fight (WHICH I ALREADY PREDICTED ANYWAY) then I don't know what does.

Buck is all tied up and a bit battered and bruised but mainly concerned about the fact that he can smell FIRE and Bobby is fighting this man while OH NO, THE EASY MOTEL IS STARTING TO BURN AND FUCK THIS IS NOT GOOD.

Tag Amir winning/getting an upper hand on Bobby and him and Buck both end up stuck in this motel burning down.

Queue, Ashes Ashes 7x09.

Now, we all saw the helipad in the sneak peek pictures of them filming in the desert so, imagine, IMAGINE, Tommy, Buck's sexy hot as mother fucking firefighter pilot boyfriend coming to save his Boyf and soon to be father in law.

SCREAMING.

Okay I'm done. Someone take tumblr off me.

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catastrxblues · 1 year ago

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good morning it is now 4 am and i have just finished watching atonement good night

#atonement #next tags are just going to be personal rants ignore that #i couldn’t sleep at all so i tried reading s&b and then fanfics and then the bell jar but it just didn’t hit #so then i tried writing but i just kept crying so i thought i’d watch a romance movie because yes #should’ve gone for four weddings and a funeral or pride and prejudice because what the hell is this #i didn’t know anything about this movie i just remember having it on my watchlist and saw ONE clip so i picked that help #and yes i ended up crying and the tears are still here but i’m also starting to think that that’s not entirely because of the movie at all #i stripped my bed off its sheets because the bright color annoyed me and it was already peeling off anyway and i was too lazy to put it rig #and when i pulled back from the screen after the movie finished and just look at how bare my bed is and how i’m in the middle of them #i just started crying again #and my legs are aching and i hate myself and i think i want to take a shower but maybe i’ll wait later on #i don’t think i’ll sleep at all honestly i’m not sleepy anymore #besides i’m thinking of going outside today just at the park i don’t know doing something #i always sleep really really late lately because my parents are out of country right now and no one is keeping me checked and i apparently #still can’t take care of myself. cried about that too it was something. why am the eldest daughter i’m so not fit for it #and then i always wake up at like 9 am and it’s already too late by then that i just never do anything productive #and it’s like i’ve been living in a simulation and i’m kinda going crazy and insane but it’s okay because today is going to be better #i hope because i’m not getting any sleep and i can finally go outside at 7 in the morning instead when it’s already way too hot #damn this is supposed to be one of the best years of my life??????? fuck off #also i can hear the azan subuh from the mosque by the neighborhood and i miss praying honestly #it’s so funny because i was happy to get my period because that meant i wouldn’t have to wake up so very early on in the morning #but i miss it now #hopefully my period will end soon #nadirants

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stereax · 11 months ago

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woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way

but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D

anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎