#and we see madeline's perspective

[aflawedfashion]

I groaned at the writing of the 19 year old with too many ideals and not enough life experience, but there's a perspective shift in episode 3, so when we see her again, she's not a cringy character anymore

[wordsmithic]

unpopular opinion but with the new tide of Greek mythology stories and retellings, Greek Cultural Sensitivity Readings are absolutely necessary. We are in 2024, with thousands of fics and retellings out there!! How is this not a thing yet?? There's vast improvement one can achieve by working professionally on their text with a Greek. I've seen it so many times!!

Also, duh, I'm offering the service BUT I want you to know that the situation with the inaccuracies of SERIOUS works is so dire that initially I didn't even do it for money. As a writer I just wanted to... fix things, to set a new standard for writers and the industry that sells us the most heavily Americanized pop-culture material and passes it as "authentic vibes of Greek mythology". (And of course there were writers who wanted to do right by their story and they had reached out to me. So kudos to them as well!)

Okay, but why does Cultural Sensitivity Reading make a vast difference and it's not just smoke and mirrors?

As a Greek, I am tired of well-meaning writers and authors butchering very basic elements of my culture. It's not their fault exactly, since they were raised in another culture with a different perspective. And nobody clued them in on how different Greek culture is from theirs, so writers sometimes assume that their culture is the default and they project that into ancient Greece. (Even published professionals like Madeline Miller have written "UK or US in antiquity" (with a very colonialist flavor) instead of writing "Ancient Greece". (Looking at you, Circe!)

Even writers who researched a lot before coming to me still had a lot of misinformation or wrong information in their text, easily verifiable by the average Greek. Again, not their fault. They can only access certain information, which does not include Greek scholarly work and scientific articles that DO offer valuable context.

Translation, accuracy, and meaning: If you ever wondered what a word means or how to pronounce it, here's your chance! There are Greeks like me who are knowledgeable and have a keen interest in antiquity and they will be able to read and compare ancient texts, and dive deeper into the work of Greek scholars regarding those texts.

If you want to create new words, you can do that as well! (It doesn't always work, but we can try. Greek is a really rich language and has a word about everything) If you use existing words, I can help you separate reality from fantasy in the context of your story.

(Do not assume we Greeks are ignorant of our heritage, or that we don't know how to research! Our archaeology sector is huge and archaeological museums are closer to most of us than your local Target is to you)

I guarantee there are things you never thought about Greece and the Mediterranean - from the ancient to the modern era. Sprinkling elements like phrases, types of interactions, customs, songs, instruments, dances, etc , into your text will make your text absolutely rich in culture.

Names matter!!! The genders of the names matter, diminutives matter (If I see one more "Perse" for Persephone I will claw my eyes out along with a few thousand Greeks), naming traditions matter!!! In many cases you should not even use a diminutive!!

You will be able to write about a foreign culture easily! Because of the continuity of Greek culture, you can even write a few more recent Greek elements to fill in the gaps. I can make sure they are not mismatched, and they will complement your ancient setting. I have observed a few things I didn't know we had since antiquity, but they make sense because our land has certain characteristics.

Non-Greek writers often miss the whole context of Greek culture! Do you know how Greek respect towards deities and parents looks like? What tones we use when we talk to our elders? When to use honorific plural - if your setting is more modernized?

Oh, and please let's avoid caricatures when describing Greeks?? (even fantasy Greeks) There can be heavy exotisation and odd descriptions of Greeks, as if we are another species. Even in published works. For many western writers it's difficult to catch, unfortunately.

The whole process is actually way easier than you think. You send me a text, I make notes and then we have some discussion on your vision.

It's always okay to seek guidance from the locals! You are not "guilty" when you admit you don't know! How can you know if you don't ask?? You can't imagine what relief and "πάλι καλά!!!" I read/see from other Greeks when I tell them another foreigner is using me for cultural sensitivity? Greeks want you to seek help and will NOT shame you for it!

(On the contrary, you have no idea how many eye-rolls Greeks do when they see a blatantly wrong thing in a story... Which has happened pretty often for many years now. Can we do better as an industry?? Please???)

You can send me a personal message to share your story, or ask what this whole cultural sensitivity thing is all about, or ask about what I have done so far and how I can help. But for the love of all that's good, don't let your story be another "generic greek myth retelling"! And don't let others sell you their generic greek myth retellings!!

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS RESOURCE BUNDLE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

a gift from me to you for the new year, to help give tips that can help u succeed 🫶🏽 a post filled with resources, and advice to help u guys improve in every aspect 💗 i love and appreciate u all and i hope u find it helpful.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ physical movement and activity

find something that u like and thats fitted for ur needs. for me, all of the workouts that i do come from youtube. a girlblogger that always has a lot of workouts to try is @4theitgirls-workouts. to motivate urself to move ur body i recommend buying something cute to workout in because it always makes me feel good. i rly like to do pilates, so since i enjoy pilates -> i'll wanna do it more.

so dont be afraid to try different things and see what u enjoy the most and stick with that bcuz u dont wanna be forcing urself to do something that u won't enjoy/that won't give u the results that u want. if working out in general isn't rly ur cup of tea at all, thats totally okay! try going for walks or start running. maybe try out for a sport or start a style of dance. the whole point of this category is to get urself moving bcuz its rly rly good for ur physical and ur mental health, and it'll serve u in the long run. another youtuber i rly recommend for pilates workouts is madeline abeid.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ self improvement youtubers that i love and watch regularly

the wizard liz

simonesquared

sammy ingram

simmonesimmo

hailey gamba

the freezia

persephonesmind

₊˚⊹ ᰔ law of assumption

of course if u wanna learn about and practice the law of assumption then u can learn and apply thru my advice, experiences, ideas and more. neville goddard is like, the guru of manifesting and hes written a bunch of books, here are neville goddard's books online for FREE so that that then u can learn and see it HIS way bcuz the thing with manifesting is u gotta figure out how it works for you cuz its your reality.

if u like subliminals this is my favorite subliminal maker on youtube. their subliminals r amazing and i enjoy them bcuz they dont have music layered onto it (i like subliminals that have soothing sounds like rain or water or anything asmr). last but not least my absolute favorite manifesting coach/teacher on the whole internet, sammy ingram - literally the best manifesting guide. she rly simplifies things and her channel is full of helpful advice, success stories, challenges and her perspective on manifesting is brilliant so i rly recommend her.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ mental health

journalling is honestly the best thing that i have ever done for my mental health, the ROI that i get from it is actually incredible so i highly highly recommend it. if ur someone who doesn't rly like to write a lot, use ur notes app or whatever just get the thoughts out of ur mind and onto a piece of paper/notes. i understand that sometimes when ur mental health isn't doing too well and u dont feel motivated rly to do anything (like u feel lethargic and stuff) forcing urself to do things ISNT always the answer. i rly recommend having alternate routines cuz we ask a lot from ourselves sometimes so some days, ask a little less.

give urself the break that u deserve. when u feel like crying, CRY. even if its for no reason, the body holds onto pent up emotions so when u cry u gotta CRY. with time you'll find the things that help u feel better. for everyone its different. for me, when my mental health is in a slump what helps me is : 1. doing one thing differently (i'll go for a walk maybe) 2. get ready (take a quick shower, or if i dont even have the motivation to do that i'll do a sink shower) 3. drink a cold cup of water and make myself a meal. dont ever have zero days. always give at least 1% or do at least one thing.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ hygiene

hygiene is so instrumental in mental health cuz like i've said before looking good -> feeling good. i make sure to get ready everyday even if im going nowhere. just bcuz the process of getting ready gives me so much momentum. smelling good gives me so much confidence bcuz im the type of person thats rly rly scared of smelling bad. im a hygiene JUNKY so im always buying soaps and fragrances. when u make self care a daily thing it'll feel so natural. dont neglect ur oral health, invest in quality products that are suited for your needs. be meticulous when it comes to ur hygiene cuz a solid routine is lowkey comforting. i rly recommend korean skincare, indian haircare, african body care, and arabic perfumes and fragrances. some of my favorite hygiene based youtube channels are : SARA BEQELE and anna renns world

₊˚⊹ ᰔ school

TAKE. SCHOOL. SERIOUSLY. the feeling that u get when u get a good score on an assignment or test is unmatched. at the end of the day ur responsible for ur education. it's not hot to be a loser. if ur someone who struggles to stay on top of assignments, write down the assignment as soon as its assigned and at the next possible chance do it. as soon as u get home from school. reward urself for good grades and for ur accomplishments cuz ur AMAZING. study effectively instead of excessively.

pursue excellence always. find ways to motivate urself throughout the school day (for me, i always try and incorporate girliness into school cuz that motivates me) all my pens and pencils and folders are pink and i get myself ready everyday before school. cuz when i FEEL good -> i perform well. if u ever dont wanna study remind urself that studying>failing. advocate for urself, dont be afraid to ask questions cuz ur responsible for ur grade if u need accommodations or longer time to take a test (even if u dont) always set urself up to have the most time possible and the most resources. the resources that u have USE THEM. the goal of studying isn't to "mostly" know the material its to know for SURE. when u can explain something thoroughly, thats when you can know if you've studied enough.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ organization + planning

of course for the new year and for life in general, organization is rly helpful. manage urself mindfully and intentionally. even if ur a messy person, organizing isn't difficult if u do it in a way thats right for you. for me, notion - is literally the best organizational tool. i have an agenda, calendars, school pages, and so much more.

with notion i rly organized my life on a whole other level. aside from notion, the notes app on ur phone is rly useful, when it comes to organizing ur day to day life, i think its important bcuz it helps u to maximize ur time. for planning out ur year, if u find it difficult to stay "on task" or achieve the goals that u set for urself, try this : dont see the year as 365 days, instead separate the year into 4 quarters (90 days each) and in each of those quarters choose one aspect to focus on and pour into. make sure to log and track ur progress on those goals. the idea to this is breaking things down. break down big goals -> to more digestible goals so that then its more believable for u. remember, your limitless.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ nutrition

if ur someone who has bad nutrition, or unhealthy eating habits in general and u wanna change that my biggest advice would be to NOT BE EXTREME. bcuz i feel like if u go fully extreme so quickly then the change isn't sustainable. take it slow. start off by introducing a fruit into breakfast and having a vegetable at dinner, then eating fruit with ur breakfast and having fruit as a snack, and eating veggies with lunch and dinner. ik it sounds repetitive and overdone but u need to be consuming ur fruits and veggies. if ur not eating it with ur meals then maybe have it in a smoothie if that works for u. take supplements for things that u dont rly incorporate into ur diet, and the key to a good diet is BALANCE. dont deny urself food that u love. life is WAY to short to be scared to eat the burger that u so desperately want. its okay to eat what ppl might consider "junk food" but everything in BALANCE and moderation. keep the 80/20 principal in ur mind. 80% of what u eat should be good for u and 20% of what u eat should be whatever u crave. DRINK WATER, dont go on extreme diets if ur not an adult and haven't consulted a doctor it does u more harm than good.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ informative

learn every single day. even if ur not in school anymore. a way to help learn and sharpen ur mind every single day is picking up a hobby that can help u do so. for me, the hobby i have is reading, reading keeps my brain sharp, it keeps me entertained, and when i read nonfiction it keeps me informed. so the hobby of reading has a high ROI. whenever u get an idea of any sort, ACT on it. u dont have to wait a billion years before acting on an idea. when u get ideas, its for a reason, ur mind is brilliant and imagine how many ideas that u wasted. thats why i recommend having a creative outlet of some sort. for me, my creative outlet is my blog where i can come and talk with you guys 🫶🏽 but ur creative outlet can be ur notes app or ur journal or ur sketchbook. just a way to get the ideas in ur brain -> onto paper.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ stuff i wish i knew

ur never ever tied down to one version of urself, u can always change ur mind/opinion, u can create a new version of urself whenever the heck u want. remember that u have free will and that ur always in control. bcuz it is your life it revolves around you and it is your responsibility. its not something to mess around with. take responsibility for urself, ur actions, ur reactions etc.

1% of progress is better than 0%, a little is always better than nothing. ur social anxiety or ur fear of being perceived is HOLDING U BACK. forgive urself for ur mistakes, everything that ur embarrassed of in ur past let it go and LET YOURSELF LIVE. become ur own project, ur own muse and if all else fails (which it won't, you'll be fine and everything will work itself out for u even better than u could've ever imagined) love yourself unconditionally.

[mingus-archives]

"The Tell-Tale Heart"

Okay so I want to preface this that I have not read much Edgar Allen Poe so I will be missing those layers in my perspective, but anyways something that really struck me in "The Tell-Tale Heart" episode of The Fall of The House of Usher was the moments after Victorine throws the book end at Ali.

Before this, we're presented with this version of Victorine who may be stressed and pressured but ultimately does not actively appear to be amoral. She's just being put in a bad position by her shit father; she wants to do good and develop a life-saving medical device, and she just has to cut corners to stay afloat. It's only Camille who seems convinced Victorine is some awful person.

Then, the bookend. Another cut corner. Instead of talking things out with Ali or being patient, she acts impulsively and immediately to stop the problem. It's just like the first time she dosed the chimpanzee with epinephrine during surgery in a panic when she realized the device wasn't working. She hits Ali in the head and, on realizing the severity of her actions, runs over to her.

Ali is bleeding out on the floor, her body writhing horribly and she lets out these awful choked noises. Victorine goes to her and seems immediately horrified and brokenhearted. Then, the security guard checks in through the door. The guard is concerned over the scuffling noises overheard.

And Victorine fucking says to him, "Have you never heard a woman getting eaten out before?"

Her girlfriend is dying by her hand, and she pretends the sounds of her dying are the noises of sexual pleasure. This to me is the reveal, this is when the audience truly sees that Victorine does not have and never had a heart. The love she's shown, for her passion, her girlfriend, her device, is nothing more than mistaken greed. It's a mechanical heartbeat, it sounds almost like a heartbeat, but it's a pale imitation to anyone who pays attention. And like with Ali's corpse, the mechanical heart of Victorine is just keeping a soulless body alive.

The Fall of the House of Usher structurally represents the family itself: it begins with the announcement of the deaths of all the children. The children are dead from the beginning of the show. And as Annabel points out, the children in the story were dead from the start, killed by greed and wealth. And then we learn that they were literally dead, as Roderick and Madeline had already sold their lives for wealth before they were even born. We're not seeing the family die, we're seeing the final moments of corpses decomposing. We're seeing the dilapidated house finally collapse. The Fall of the House of Usher is not about death, it's about the walking dead, like the visions of Roderick. A family kept alive with a mechanical device just going through the motions.

[frigidwife]

do you think louis chose/believed armand over claudia in the scene after armand threatens and chokes her? i was under the impression that louis reflexively disagreed with claudia because he didn't want to believe it, but the fact that he also reflexively lit armand's photo on fire makes me think his response to claudia ("he wouldn't do that"/"sit in your choice") was a denial of the real horror he was feeling, that he did believe her and just wished it wasn't true. i rewatched that scene and when he notices the picture is on fire, he waits a second before putting it out, which makes me think his commitment to armand following this scene wasn't out of genuine love, but a strategic choice made out of fear, the same way he martyred himself for lestat to turn claudia. i still see people talking about how much louis and armand did love each other, and i was briefly convinced when madeline called it out (though that scene also contains claudia thanking armand for not treating her like a child, so the legitimacy of the entire scene is thrown into question imo). but after rewatching the season, i don't think they were that devoted to each other. between the actors deliberately playing their flirtations super awkward, the fact that louis never commits until armand threatens claudia and his commitment itself following louis' pattern of chaining himself to his current lover/shark for claudia's survival (a pattern the show goes out of its way to emphasize with lestat's retelling of her turning), and the fact that armand apparently did choose the coven over louis...idk. maybe i'm biased and just sick of the idea that armand and louis' love is some torrid gothic romance when it seems clear that louis and armand's insistence that it was in dubai is deliberately at odds with what we saw, despite how hard they were trying to make it seem that way. even the way they gassed up their first meeting felt staged, and if we're supposed to understand that louis and armand's growing physical distance in dubai denotes emotional/romantic distance as louis' memories are restored, it seems in line to realize that the distance isn't what's new, nor is the performance of love; it's the realization that it is a performance. SORRY this got long, i feel like i'm going a little crazy because i feel the show is saying the exact opposite to much of the analysis on here. in a way i would love to be convinced towards a different perspective because then i could just relax

no i agree with you completely ur not insane and neither am i.... i havent watched that episode in a while but the way the events are sequenced it's not even ambiguous--the relationship with armand is strategic and it has been since the beginning. like i dont think louis's "he wouldn't do that" is even a denial of the kind of person armand is. Bc in the previous episode armand literally almost killed louis for the same secret he's just threatened claudia about. so why would he actually disbelieve her? (laying it out like this i'm realizing why the victim blaming interpretation of louis as ditzy is so prevalent lol.) his frustration reads to me like: i've already sacrificed my freedom and happiness so you can join the coven that you love so much, and now you're saying you don't like the coven? you can't tough it out and trust i have armand handled? the disbelief in "he wouldn't do that" is not that louis wants to believe armand is a better person; it's that louis wants to believe his control over armand is more complete, bc otherwise claudia is right and his sacrifices are doubly pointless. this is the same pattern we saw with louis and his siblings as a human--telling grace to worry about herself, telling lestat how they were four months from bankruptcy; he takes pains to keep them ignorant but then is frustrated they wont register his sacrifice; they see it as him pushing them away (literal knife to paul's throat). louis starting to burn the photograph is him giving up--claudia is ungrateful; this task is impossible. but then the dream lestat which is ofc just louis calls claudia "our daughter" and that's when louis stops burning the photograph of armand. at the reminder that no matter how he tries to accept her as grown and autonomous, she's his child first. and then you can see him double down and regroup--get rid of ghost lestat indulgence to commit fully to companionship with as much control as he can leverage

[fancyfeathers]

william's darling pulling out one of her rare laughters when she sees william's face lol. she can't stop, and it causes william to chuckle with her as well. like a rare tender moment lollll

Forget-Me-Nots

(Yandere William James Moriarty x Reader) Father Like Daughter (Yandere William James Moriarty and his darling having a genius daughter)

(A/N)- Okay I just had to write something for this because it is just way too wholesome and I am writing a lot of darker longer projects. Plus I need to write a perspective peace.

You fiddled with your gloves as you walked downstairs, pulling the lace even more snug against your hand. You were all dressed up in a long baby blue dress, the heirloom necklace and matching set of earrings that was a gift from your sister in law, Albert’s wife, and your hair was pulled up and out of your face. A trip to the music hall, the first little fun family event of the summer that your husband was taking you and your two daughters out on.

You walked from the front entry, where the stairs ended and strolled into the drawing room as you ran your hands over the silk fabric, working out the wrinkles. William had fallen asleep after he got ready to leave, so you decided to let him rest, well you did not have much of a choice otherwise since he would be the only way you or your daughters would be leaving the house after all.

“William, I think we need to be leaving soon and-“ You cut yourself off as you looked up to see your husband, wide awake and sitting on the couch. Your eldest daughter, Eloise, was sitting on the couch next to him in her light pink dress that you had set out for her earlier this evening, her paint pallet and paint brush in hand and William was letting her paint on his face. “Oh goodness.”

To say this was a surprise was the least, you honestly could not remember the last happy time between William and Eloise. She was no fool and had gotten her intelligence from her father, when she was very little she had figured out the true nature of your relationship. She had been protective of her younger sister, Madeline and you. William caught onto her behavior very quickly, especially when Eloise began to show awareness of his other immoral actions, and since then their relationship had never been the same.

So seeing her painting forget-me-not flowers on his face as if it was a canvas was something that made you stop in your tracks. William’s eyes turned to you as you called his name and he smiled, a smile that perhaps shows a tiny bit of embarrassment. “Eloise ran out of canvas and she began painting on me when I was asleep.”

“I can see that.” You replied, a bit of surprise lingering in your words. You spotted Eloise turn her head around to glance at you as she lowered her paintbrush back to her pallet, and on her own cheek you could see paintings of lilies just below her left eye. “And it seems you are not the only person who has become a canvas.”

“Uncle Louis told me that he would take me to the market with him tomorrow to buy more canvas.” She spoke in response to you, it had been quite awhile since Louis had taken her anywhere as well due to the things she had tried over the years and he did not want her attempting anything while they were out, so Eloise hardly went out anywhere anymore.

“Well you best go wash up now so you can go out tonight.” After your words her eyes darted to the grandfather clock in the drawing room to see the time and her eyes immediately went wide with shock, he had never been good with time, as bright as she may be.

You and William watched her as she bolted up, tossing her pallet and brush on the table next to the couch they sat on, it nearly fell over the edge and you could only imagine how cross Louis would be if paint ruined the carpet. You sighed and looked back at William, who was still looking at the doorway she ran out of. You walked over to the couch where William sat, and you took the seat where Eloise had just sat, the seat still warm.

The blue of the flowers in contrast to William’s scarlet red eyes was such a strange contrast that you would have assumed either way that Eloise did this while he was asleep. A small laugh slipped past your lips as you looked at it, turning William’s attention from the door back to you once again. A chuckle escaped his lips as you laughed. “Does it look bad?”

“Eloise’s work? Never.” Eloise had a deft hand for painting, self taught, and every single one of her pieces was beautiful and this one was no exception. You pulled out a small compact mirror that you had tucked into your corset for him to see, and you flicked it open and held it up and his smile grew even wider.

“I feel bad that I have to wash it off for tonight, it is beautiful.” Your husband pushed himself off of the couch before bending down to press a kiss to the crown of your head. “I will go make sure Eloise is washed up as well and that Madeline is ready as well.”

You watched him walk out of the room, leaving you all alone in the drawing room. You made yourself stand up to pick up Eloise’s pallet and brush to wash off. You made your way to the kitchen and as you ran the brush under the water, making sure to get all the paint out to make sure the brush was not ruined when you dried, you noticed something from out the window. The window had a lovely view of the estate across the street and their absolutely stunning front garden, and unlike your own, theirs had forget-me-nots, just like the ones Eloise painted…

…but then your smile fades as you realize that is where she got her inspiration, from outside the window, something she could see but never touch. That was her life, that was your life, you could see everything beautiful on the outside but you could never touch it, making it even more ironic that she painted that lovely flower on William of all people.

[mrsstarkey1]

dress - drew starkey

SUMMARY: requested by @willowpains - a fic with drew based on the song ‘dress’ by taylor swift

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

WARNINGS: none

You weren't sure when this thing between you and Drew even started. You couldn't even describe what it was.

All you knew was how you felt when you looked at him. What he could do to you with a simple glance. It was getting out of hand, you’d both admit that. You couldn't even be in the same room together anymore without giving each other the infamous "let's get out of here" look.

It was a miracle no one had noticed, especially your cast mates. It was almost comical actually, that they hadn't. You knew they were clueless simply because if they knew, they would never leave you two alone about it. Madeline in particular, would have a field day with the information.

Maybe it made sense that no one suspected it, because admittedly you and Drew were an unexpected pairing. You were as different as two people could be, at least from an outside perspective. You'd always appeared to the media as innocent, shy, reserved, in other words - completely opposite of Drew Starkey.

You never would have thought you could feel this way about him, about anyone, actually. The moment you saw him though, you realized just how insanely wrong you were. You were an added character for season three of Outer Banks, and Drew had been the first person you met on set. One singular look at him; dressed in a suit, hair buzzed, smile on his face, and you knew you were done for.

You became extremely fast friends, going out to eat after nearly every day of filming, sharing things with each other like you'd known each other your entire lives. Within weeks, you couldn't imagine your life without Drew, and you considered him your best friend. Until you quickly realized you were much more. The rest is history, really.

There was a small, teeny, tiny part of you that wanted to tell your cast mates, to tell everyone, but you just loved the excitement too much. The risk of getting caught was thrilling. The thrill fueled your relationship - physical relationship, that is - and God did you love it. The stolen glances and 'innocent' touches in crowded rooms, the everlasting feeling of anticipation, the perpetual desperation you felt to just be near him. There was nothing else like it.

But that small part of you had been coming out to play more often recently. You wanted him to be yours. I mean, technically he had been for awhile, but you two were the only ones aware of this. You found yourself wanting to make it known that you weren’t just best friends like everyone thought.

But for now, until you figured out what you really want, and what Drew wants, you were fine with the thrill of it. You even had a little game you liked to play - drive Drew as crazy as possible in the most public of places. You had your game in mind when you picked out the dress you were wearing now as you sat across from Drew. You sat in the limo with the rest of the cast outside the red carpet for the season three premiere, meeting his eyes every couple moments to see him already looking at you.

You glanced down at your red silk dress, innocently adjusting the V-line to display a little more. "Y/n, that dress is absolutely gorgeous!!!" Maddie said next to you as soon as she'd noticed your attire.

"Oh my god it's stunning!" Madison said from the spot next to Drew, leaning toward you to touch the fabric.

Chase, Rudy and JD agreed with a simple approving head nod and "you look good."

Everyone's heads turned to an uncharacteristically quiet Drew, who was oh-so not subtly staring at your neckline. He snapped out of it after a second too long, "yeah-um, you look great," he managed to get out, tearing his eyes from you and down at his phone. "Shouldn't we get out there?"

A couple looks were exchanged before everyone agreed, positioning themselves to get out of the limo and immediately onto the carpet. As soon as the door opened, you could instantly hear the screams of fans and the shutters of cameras. "Woogity-woogity baby," Rudy said to all of you quickly, before being the first one to step out of the car.

You chuckled to yourself, before pasting a camera ready smile on your face. You got out second to last, Drew right behind you as you walked closer to the chaos. Before you could make it to where the rest of your cast mates were, already posing for the photographers, you felt a familiar hand on your waist, followed by a low whisper in your ear, "what do you think you're doing?"

You turned your head just slightly, so you could see him out of the corner of your eye. "Walking toward the red carpet?" you said innocently, smile still plastered on your lips, only growing when you saw the fire in his eyes. Not an angry fire, a lustful fire. Exactly what you anticipated.

His grip tightened around your waist, and he flashed a smile and a small wave to the fans that had spotted you two. “Why did you pick that dress?” he practically whined in your ear.

You shifted your body around, leaning into him ever so slightly careful to not seem suspicious, craning your head up so your mouth was by his ear opposite of the fans. "So you could take it off,” you whispered so quietly you weren't sure he'd be able to hear it. Drew's eyes widened, his polite smile for the audience faltering as he let out a breath. You pulled yourself out of his grip, a proud smile on your face at the confirmation that he had definitely heard you.

You walked toward the middle of the red carpet with an excited wave of your hand toward the fans, leaving Drew to quickly compose himself in front of hundreds of people.

You didn’t see or speak to Drew for nearly the entire rest of the time on the carpet, and you just knew that wherever he was, he was losing his mind. There was a reason you’d picked tonight to wear this dress; it was the busiest night of the year for you and the rest of the cast. Meaning you and Drew would never be able to slip away unnoticed, and you knew that would drive him insane. And maybe, just maybe, it would put the idea in his mind that things would be better if the world knew about you.

Now, standing at the bar at the after party you couldn't help but search the room for Drew. You leaned against the bar, mindlessly downing the drinks the bartender gave you as you waited for Drew to make himself known. When you finally found him, he was already staring at you from across the room. You didn't know if it was the alcohol's effect on you, or just your desire to finally be with Drew in public that made you start walking toward where he stood talking to Chase. You were nearly within his reach, when someone stepped into your pathway.

"Hey y/n!" Madeline said excitedly, her loud voice indicating that she'd also found the bar.

Your eyes stayed fixed on Drew for a moment, who'd witnessed the interruption. You looked at Madeline with a smile, "hey Mads. Having fun?"

You fell into a drunken conversation with Madeline, and you'd be lying if you said you were aware of what you were talking about. When you saw Drew stifle a laugh after Madeline had made a joke, you realized he was within earshot, and a plan formed in your intoxicated head. You fiddled with the straps of your dress in an obvious way with an obnoxious groan. "This dress is so uncomfortable," you said to Madeline with a sigh, "I think I'm gonna go change."

Madeline nodded her head mindlessly, "yes, go change. I'll see you later!" she slurred, pointing at you with her index finger. You let out a laugh, and turned around to walk toward the bathroom.

You only made it about halfway to the hallway before being stopped by a hand on your shoulder. You smiled widely, immediately knowing that your plan had worked. He was like a damn dog on a leash.

You turned around quickly-maybe a little too quickly-because you practically crashed into him, a chuckle involuntarily leaving your lips. Drew steadied you quickly, placing his hands on your hips.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he said after a moment, only a slightly hushed tone.

You pointed behind you to the bathroom, “to change,” you said simply, a knowing smile on your face.

His eyebrow raised, “I remember you saying I would be the one to take your dress off,” he said with a smirk, leaning in closer to your face.

You kept your eyes on his, not even thinking about who could be watching this interaction. “What are we waiting for then?”

Drew smiled and wasted no time slipping his hand into yours, pulling you along with him toward the hallway. You leaned into his chest as you walked, unable to hold in your chuckle at his eagerness. As you walked, you caught a glimpse of a few people sending confused looks your way. “Drew, people are looking,” you whispered, looking up at him to check for a reaction.

Drew simply tightened his grip on you, turning his head to place a kiss on your cheek. “Let them,” he mumbled against your skin.

“It’s about time,” you said with an ear-to-ear smile.

As the two of you stepped into the bathroom, you heard the angelic sound of Drew’s hearty laugh and the click of a camera.

taglist: @rafes-bae @willowpains @maybankslover @addisbooks

REQUESTS OPEN!!

check out my obx masterlist || taylor swift song fics masterlist

if u follow me & reblog my posts i’ll do the same for u !!

[catboybiologist]

I was wondering if you had any readings on the biological aspects of transitioning, especially with the info you use to deconstruct the transphobia argument that being transgender is ‘against biology’. Im a biological sciences major, but haven’t gotten to discuss (much less find resources on) this topic.

Thanks in advance.

Long and rambling response incoming! Sorry for leaving this in my inbox for a few weeks.

This is a very interesting topic to me, and doesn't really have a clean answer. Because its not really about the biology itself, its mostly about the philosophy of science, and how it interfaces with ethics, etymology, and societal understanding. The primary thing to understand is that science is *descriptive*. Morality or classifications are societal determinations that we use to "wrap" scientific observations- gender is therefore the societal "wrapper" to sex, which, over centuries, has snowballed and taken a social definition well past any biological system.

That being said, most of my arguments hinge on the totality of changes that are possible with HRT, and how they affect the molecular mechanisms of sex determination. To me, this sheer totality means that a trans man with significant time on HRT can actually be considered a "biological man", and vice versa for a trans woman. To me, the sheer extent to which cell expression patterns change, and structural elements of the body change, means that the way that transphobes use terminology like "biological sex" is bullshit. And as I've said before, this is NOT a transmedicalist argument, and if I ever sound transmed, I am sorry. Part of the totality of this biological definition includes the interface of genetics, pyschology, and sociology that comprehensively includes all trans people, even those not on HRT. Rather, I use the changes of HRT as a way to demonstrate the plasticity of sex in humans and other animals, and how thin the barrier between sexes actually is. This punches holes in a lot of the propaganda that transphobes tend to roll out, and helps demonstrate how flimsy their talking points are. All of this is to say, something can't be "against biology" because biology is morally neutral. It's not morality. It's not static definitions. It's a set of observations. But, our thinking about definitions and classifications can reflect and be advised by these observations. For me, it helped to think about HRT changes, because my personal mentality is one of a constructed identity. I define myself by what I am in the moment, and if I can document my current state, that helps define who I am- which is a woman. The biology of transition told me how deeply that is true, and continually becomes more true, on a molecular level. So. Here's some individual papers and points that help guide my thinking on the topic, and how each helped me find peace with transitioning: Medical descriptions of changes on HRT:

I'm sure everyone is familiar with this and the WPATH, but from the perspective of medical expectations. Instead, take a look at the changes documented here, and start thinking about how deep and profound they are- these cell types and body structure are sitting there just waiting to happen, and they are literally the same as their cis counterparts. This was huge for me in accepting that my post-HRT body wouldn't be "fake", and actually is literally the

Review paper of sex determination pathways in the animal kingdom:

Transphobes use chromosomes as a prescriptive definition of sex and gender. However, if you take a broader look and see how sex determination works in animals with similar genetic mechanisms as us, it becomes pretty clear that chromosomal sex determination is a late addition to the party. Essentially, most animals use a fairly random mechanism to ensure an advantageous sex ratio in their population. This is often environmental or based on some random gene on chromosome that looks nothing like XY sex determination, but if a large chromosomal deletion comes along, its a convenient way to keep the big version of the chromosome always paired with the small chromosome- for example, the X chromosome always being paired with another X, or its half-deleted pair, the Y chromosome. But there's nothing intrinsic about the chromosomes itself that define sex, its just an evolutionary ride-along mechanism.

So what does actually determine sex? Well, as with any broad scale developmental effect, one signalling molecule or gene can cause extensive downstream genetic effects, and that active, lived set of gene expression then defines what secondary sex characteristics develop.

(even though the main point is about spermatogenesis, it does provide a lot of nice summary figures about testosterone signalling) While these papers don't talk about trans people, the introduction of cross-sex hormones will activate these pathways, and cause the wide variety of downstream transcriptional changes in gene activation. Essentially, the active genes in your body will follow the dominant upstream sex hormones in your body. If you're transfemme, on HRT, the active genes in your body are female ones. If you're transmasc, on HRT, the active genes in your body are male ones.

While I never explicitly studied trans people in my biology education, studying principles of gene regulation, chromosome biology, and just a tad of reproductive physiology means that I started to think about how all of those interface with the way we define ourselves in a lot of ways. And usually, that is dynamic- you can have developmental changes kicked off by signalling molecules later in life, and it would be deranged to ignore those changes out of spite and insist that the biological system is still the thing it was before. Sex determination is not exempt from that.

Again, I use HRT changes as an example, but you can find many similar papers on the psychology of transness even pre-HRT. But, I would caution against trying to find a "root biological reason" for being trans pre-HRT- its likely too polymodal to accurately characterize. It's why I stray away from neurological papers and arguments here. That is an ENTIRELY different argument and this post is already long. But hey, every ask I get like this helps formalize my thoughts on the matter. Hope this helped!

[lavampira]

book recommendations

tysm @winedark and @rosenfey for the tag <:

passing it along to @hythlodaes @scionshtola @coldshrugs @likeabirdinflight @lesbianalicent @veeples @narrativefoiltrope @kirnet @disequilibria @jennystahl @elvves @queenofthieves @weird-ecologies @erielake @verbose-vespertine @solarisrenbeth @onceinabluemoony @queerbrujas @oldblood but ofc no pressure!!

1. the last book I read:

GOTH WESTERN by LIVALI WYLE — well. technically, it’s an indie graphic novel. but it’s a western meets magical realism about necromancy, revenge, and the power of love. and lesbians. I burned through it in a couple hours sitting because I was so gripped by it tbh.

2. a book I recommend:

THE HACIENDA by ISABEL CAÑAS — an absolute all time fave book in my heart; I would say one doesn’t even need to necessarily love horror to get invested in this one, since it also involves very interesting critique of spanish colonialism, religion, and class struggles in post-independence mexico only using hauntings as the lens to view it.

3. a book that I couldn’t put down:

THE PRIORY OF THE ORANGE TREE by SAMANTHA SHANNON — I was glued to this book for a solid two weeks despite its length. I have a lot that I would change about the pacing and certain events or qualities of some characters’ outcomes, but it was such a fun fantasy read, and I had a difficult time even moving on from the setting and protagonists once I was done.

4. a book I’ve read twice (or more):

THE SONG OF ACHILLES by MADELINE MILLER — my first time reading this myth retelling was my freshman year of college, so I reread it again ten years later to see if it would still hold up for how much I loved it, and it absolutely did. the perspective of the man standing beside and in love with the hero interwoven with the tragedy of achilles and patroclus takes me right out and the passages that tumblr enjoys to quote from it have so much more impact in the full context of the narrative.

5. a book on my TBR:

OUR WIVES UNDER THE SEA by JULIA ARMFIELD — this poor book keeps getting knocked down on my TBR but I’m determined to read it this year. I’m intrigued by the horror of the protagonist’s wife ‘coming back wrong’ in a sense, and the recommendations based on its similarity to ANNIHILATION, but also the fact it seems to be a wlw scifi horror, too.

6. a book I’ve put down:

AFFINITY by SARAH WATERS — I wanted to like this one so bad, considering how often waters has been hyped up to me as The Author for historical lesbian novels and the fact it delves into victorian spiritualism, but the pacing felt so slow at getting to the point in the plot, and when it finally did, the twist put me off on finishing the end. it’s probably more of a case of ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ but I def had to DNF it.

7. a book on my wishlist:

GHOST STATION by S.A. BARNES — space horror quickly became a fave niche genre that I got into last year, so I’ve been very excited for this release, too. I’m also a fan of how barnes writes atmospheric dread and I have high expectations for it.

8. a favorite book from my childhood:

WUTHERING HEIGHTS by EMILY BRONTË — it altered my brain chemistry as a teenager in high school and I haven’t been the same since I read it. I distinctly remember listening to ‘you said I killed you — haunt me then!’ read aloud and having to pretend like it didn’t make me feel so completely unhinged in the middle of class.

9. a book you would give to a friend:

PIRANESI by SUSANNA CLARKE — I was recommended this one by a friend to begin with, so it feels like an even more perfect book to pass forward. I think it’s one of those books that’s easy to get absorbed into even if it’s not a typical genre one would read, and it’s such a life-altering experience to go through with the protagonist, too. the underlying message that we’re all changed by our own trials and we’re never the same as we were before lingers with me.

10. a book of poetry or lyrics you own:

CRUSH by RICHARD SIKEN — it’s taken me so long to finally track down a physical copy at my bookstore but it was worth it because it remains my fave book of poetry to date. I could quote so many lines, after how hard they’ve hit me, and some of them have influenced my own writing or pairings in some ways.

11. a nonfiction book you own:

HAVANA NOCTURNE by T.J. ENGLISH — back in 2015-2016ish I went through a true crime phase in the prohibition era through the foundation of the US mafia, and this is a very informative book on how the mob became tied to cuba and how the revolution affected it.

12. what are you currently reading:

AN EDUCATION IN MALICE by S.T. GIBSON — I stumbled across this retelling of carmilla set in a late 60s massachusetts women’s college after reading gibson’s A DOWRY OF BLOOD and had to give it a try. I’m enjoying it so far; the prose is full of thick emotional yearning and electric chemistry, and the balance in the narrative of toxic mentorship, historical romantic and sensual attraction between women without shaming them for it, and vampiric elements is really fun.

13. what are you planning on reading next:

WHAT FEASTS AT NIGHT by T. KINGFISHER — I only found out the other day that the sequel to WHAT MOVES THE DEAD was even released but I’m so desperate for the next part of alex easton’s story (and how eerily kingfisher writes horror) that it shot up to my next read.

[littlebug-boy]

i need to see an animatic of the song madeline by good kid from kristens perspective in the last eps of sophomore year

‘and even when i lost myself in all of those tall trees you took me down you helped me up you patched my bloody knees’

’ the sun the earth the wind the rain and holding out for change’

‘[kristen A] who lost the earth but made it out by noon the sun it shone the earth as well her eyes were two half moons and even when we lost ourselves to something inbetween the words we shared are all still ther to show us where weve been’

idk its just kristen coded to me

[redhatmeg]

See, before I've got to this episode where Madeline shows up, I had a vogue idea of what happened between her and Henry - I knew that he took the blame for her when she left him and Shawn. That obviously didn't endear me to her, but when I've got to the episode itself, I tried to keep an open mind.

I think that the spoiler about Henry really makes you look at the flashback scenes differently. I know that Madeline left when Shawn was a teen, but in all the flashbacks up to this point (bar the scene in Shawn and Gus of the Dead, where Shawn's parents are watching a horror movie), we only see Henry interacting with his son, while his wife is, more or less, a ghost.

Then in the present day Henry is in every episode, he lives in the same city and Shawn is constantly coming to him for advice, while we don't hear from Madeline. There are no scenes where she calls her son, or he calls her, so for all we know, she doesn't keep in contact with her son and ex-husband.

So it really paints her in not a good light.

However, I keep coming back to the fact that this perspective is somewhat skewed and just because we don't see certain things, it doesn't mean that Madeline is a bad mother. Because maybe there are things that aren't shown to us. Maybe she contacts her son off-screen, even though she doesn't visit them (Shawn's reaction to seeing his mom coming in just like that, definately suits to someone who's not used to these kind of situations). Certainly Henry doesn't act like she's a mother and wife that suddenly comes out after years of no-contact to spend time with her ex and her son.

[asterefflores]

okay so, since I'm an impatient idiot and I absolutely loved the treats u gave us, I'm here to ask for another XDD (forgive this greedy soul for op content)

Soooo my request is seeing the sons and daddy Tristan together, so what if, Instead of spending that whole month in the henituse territory Cale having enough being watched liked a hawk and the sadness of what he did to rok soo made him go to tristan instead? Like he spend half the month in the henituse territory and the remaining with Tristan cuz he wasn't able to face rok soo knowing well he hurt him, but he was ignoring that to prevent himself from just going to his hyung hugging him and talking in general cuz he is an idiot, and then we get rok soo's perspective on how he feels about the whole Cale going to Tristan's place and how he felt hurt over what Cale said but simply choose to gloss over it cuz according to him his pain don't really matter and he gets over stuff fast and poor Tristan being stuck between his 2 idiot sons XDD noticed all that and wonders what he can do and does it lololol (tho we all know he is an dotting idiot too lolol)

So yeh, if it's not too much trouble could I trouble u with this request?!? Prettyy please! And thank you for the other treats, have a great day!

Okay lol this one will contain glimpses of the future in the fanfic,,

--------------

"Regarding the reports from the Northern Territory, have all the Northern Rulers know that I will be meeting with them in two days to discuss all the complaints."

“Yes, Your Majesty.” The man nodded respectfully. The sound of flipping papers came shortly after. “About the Dark River—”

Both men paused at the sudden sound of someone teleporting into the spacious round office with many windows all around. Eventually, a very familiar person came into view, standing on the teleport podium in the corner. 

 

“……”

The three people in the vast office the size of a hall just stared in silence. The man awkwardly looked between the Emperor and the son.

Cale blinked and nodded after the complete silence between the two, “Apologies for the interruption. I’ll head to my room—”

“Stay.”

And Cale stayed still as told, only stepping outside the podium when Tristan stared long at him to ensure he didn’t leave. He watched as his dad turned to the man beside him, giving him all the measures needed before dismissing him. 

The door closed quietly, and only Cale, with his dad, left in the silent hall.

Tap—

Tristan tapped the table with the few remaining reports and left it aside to work on later. He relaxed back in his seat and eyed his son, who was standing and was oddly silent. “I don’t see Rok-Soo with you this time.”  

Cale only hummed quietly. He blinked when a seat and a small table appeared from below the floor in front of the office table, and a cookie jar was put atop the table. He looked up and found Tristan munching on a cookie and had his own jar of cookies, most certainly prepared by Madelin. He smiled a little and walked to sit on the comfortable couch made for one person.

“So where is Rok-Soo?” Tristan asked casually, staring at Cale before him with the cookie in his hand.

“In Super Rock Villa.”

“Hmm,” Tristan looked at the jar to pick another cookie, “Did something happen there?”

“…no.”

“Hmm,” Tristan took a bite, nodding slowly while staring elsewhere, “What about your work?”

Cale took a bite of a cookie and hummed quietly, pleased with the taste, “Father is taking my place for now.”

“Mhm,” Tristan’s eyes landed on the glass of water left for him on the table. He made the glass float toward the small table instead. He took another cookie, “So, you had a fight with Rok-Soo?”  

 

“Kuh—! Ahm, mhm.”

Tristan watched as the redhead choked for a short moment yet maintained his elegance. “I see you two can fight like other siblings.” He hummed to himself, “You don’t want to face your brother?”

Cale let out a quiet cough with a slight frown, closing his eyes as he didn’t want to meet his dad’s knowing eyes. “No, I just need some time away from…everyone.”

 

“Do you consider me air or something?”

“Dad, please…”

“Hmm,” Tristan hummed with a hint of a chuckle as his son sighed, looking like a kicked puppy while pouting like that. Cale probably wasn’t even aware he was pouting, and Tristan could imagine Rok-Soo looking the same at the moment. “So, you came straight to my office instead of directly to your room for…?”

“Well,” Cale hesitated before meeting his dad’s eyes, “Can I stay here for a while?”

“You fuckers ask me permission every time when you both know damn well you got your own rooms prepared for you here. Are you two provoking me?” Tristan sighed lightly and cleaned his hand with the napkin, “Go ahead and run away from your responsibilities for as long as you need.” He smiled at yet another cough from his son.

“Dad—!”

“Okay, I’ll take mercy on you, pouty boy. Head to your room and be petty all you want.”

“Dad, seriously—”

“What? Am I not being nice enough to you? And here I am refraining from calling you my little coward son—”

“Thank you so much for welcoming me always. Good night, Dad.”

Tristan chuckled as Cale stood and walked straight to the door, “Join us for dinner, kid.”

Cale paused shortly, giving a quiet ‘Okay’ before closing the door behind him.

.

.

Cale stared at the ceiling while lying on his incredibly comfortable bed. After visiting many times ever since Tristan handed them special teleporting devices when the tower was constructed and ready, Cale was almost sure the bed was built with some calming effects, either by magic or something else, probably with Tristan’s powers or spirits, along with Killian’s inventions.

Even though he wasn’t spending his time any differently, the feeling was still much better here in Tristan’s tower than in his room in the Henituse mansion. Breathing was way easier in his room here.

He took a calm inhale and slowly closed his eyes, sighing quietly after. He felt like he was floating on clouds.

Ting—

He opened his eyes after a while at the soft sound from the small screen built into the bedside table.

[ Dinner’s ready. Come over to the private dining room. ]

Cale hummed at his dad’s message, forcing himself to leave his bed and move to the teleport podium in the corner of his spacious room. He stepped on the circle and tapped on the screen at the side to choose the location. He smiled briefly at the memory of Rok-Soo’s extremely pleased face at how convenient the invention was and thanked Tristan for days for being considerate of his slacker life.

He waited for the light to surround him and opened his eyes to find himself in the familiar, cozy room with a small dining table for five people.

“Oppa!”

“Lillian,” Cale ruffled his little sister’s white hair fondly, smiling down as she hugged him happily, “How have you been, dear?”

“Great! I missed you so much!” She blinked up at him before looking around behind him as if searching for someone, “Rok-Soo oppa…?”

“…he’s not with me this time.”  He patted her head while looking at the Empire from the window to his side.

“Oh…”

He felt so bad at how disappointed she sounded, considering he was the sole reason for Rok-Soo’s absence this once…

“All right! Time to eat, kids.”

 

He blinked and looked over at Madelin, his mother from his past life, smiling sweetly at him with the cheerful air around her as usual. Though, he could tell she knew something already. He glanced at Tristan, finding his dad giving him the knowing eyes and waiting for him as he relaxed in his seat with his chin resting on the back of his hand elegantly.

He let out a quiet fake cough and walked with Lillian to the table, “Good evening, mama.” He smiled as his mother looked pleased with the name, like always. He glanced briefly at the only empty seat before focusing on the food in front of him. He blinked twice; he noticed that all of his favorite foods were on the table.

“Well then, let’s dig in!” Madelin announced with a light clap, picking up the fork and knife, “I had to cook for tonight’s dinner when Tristie told me our precious Cale is here.” She said as she picked one piece of beef, eating it before the rice.

“Ah, thank you so much, you didn’t have to…” He tried the Korean food before him and hummed in delight. Madelin is really skilled at cooking and mastering any recipe in no time, as always.  

He ate and talked with Lillian and Madelin while Tristan remained quiet the whole time he ate, simply listening to the three chatterboxes around him as usual. As always, Tristan was the first to finish, and instead of leaving the table, Cale watched his dad relax in his seat and pull out the device, which looked like a phone, probably checking over the news and other reports of his Empire while Madelin and Lillian kept talking. To any outsider, it would look like the mother and daughter were having a rather serious discussion when the discussion was about Madelin allowing and encouraging Lillian to wear high heels more often.  

“Aww, but you look so adorable with them, honey!”

“Hmm…” Lillian pouted as she thought about it, looking at her brother then. “Oppa, what do you think?”

“Right, you also think your sister looks cute in them, right, Cale?”

“Well, Lillian certainly looks cute and good in everything…”

“Wearing high heels too long is bad for your back and legs.” Tristan calmly offered his thoughts while still keeping his eyes on the communication device.

“Ignore what this old man says for now, kids.” Madelin said with a cheeky grin at Cale and Lillian.

Tristan finally looked away from the device to frown at his wife, “It is bad, though. You yourself don’t wear them very often. You’re even wearing your sleeping slippers now.”

“I still love wearing them from time to time! Besides, Lillian didn’t complain once about any pain! I wouldn’t make her wear them if I noticed she was even in the slightest pain, darling!”

“Then why is she refusing them now if that is the case?”

“Because Papa said it’s bad.”

“Huh? I’m the reason?”

“You lovely old man!! I knew it was your fault!”

Cale chuckled as Tristan put away the device and started bickering with Madelin, with Lillian cheering for the both of them, looking so used to it by now and even enjoying it.

Even though this is an Imperial family here, they still looked like any other loving family in this cozy small room, laughing and having fun together.

He was once again very aware of the vacant seat to his left, and he instantly felt a void in his heart. He looked down at the food, slowly turning his head to gaze at the night sky through the window.

  

He thought of how Rok-Soo always enjoyed the moments in this little dining room, even if he usually looks unbothered on the outside.

He lightly rubbed his upper arm as he crossed his arms. He wondered if it was him or if the air in the room was a bit cold tonight.

He missed Tristan and Madelin’s glances toward him as they kept talking.

.

.

Cale walked in silence as he followed Tristan. He didn’t know why his dad came in the afternoon telling him to join him in a walk around the tower, but he didn’t have anything better to do, so he agreed without much question. Besides, watching the Empire with all the cities from the windows around in the serene corridors was really enjoyable to him; the sight was truly beautiful and showed how much Tristan worked hard as the new Emperor after all the mess with the Initial Inhabitants. 

‘Hm?’ He finally noticed where they were heading, finding the door very familiar. ‘Isn’t that… the main teleport room?’ He slightly flinched when his wrist was grabbed as they approached the door. “Um, dad…?”

He was kindly dragged into the round room and straight into the podium. He kept blinking as he tried to understand what was happening while Tristan pressed on the screen quickly and with ease, and the light surrounded them in seconds.

Huh?

“Where is Rok-Soo?”

He opened his eyes when Tristan suddenly asked the next second. He stiffened as he was met with familiar faces he had been avoiding, all staring surprised at him and Tristan…

“The Kitten Young Master is in his room, sir.”

Ron was the first to answer and soon put on his benign smile respectfully in front of the Emperor of the newly revealed Empire.

Tristan walked past everyone in the Villa without any response, with Cale still dragged silently behind him.

.

.

“Human! Human!!”

Rok-Soo answered Raon with a sleepy hum as he was still too lazy to wake up and start the day.

“Purple Grandpa is here!!”

And Rok-Soo suddenly sprung up with his poker face as if he wasn’t asleep a second ago, sitting still with his slightly messy hair. ‘Tristan is here? Why? Did something happen?’ so many questions flooded his head all of a sudden as he couldn’t recall one time when his dad visited the Villa; it was always in the Henituse mansion whenever he paid a visit or the Royal Palace for meetings with Alver, so something must have happened in this case, right? Is it Cale? Did something happen to Cale?

And two knocks came from the door shortly after.

“Rok-Soo, I’m coming in.”

“Y-Yes, Dad!”

Raon looked confused when Rok-Soo’s voice sounded weird as he answered just now and hurried to get up from the bed.

Rok-Soo ignored how his voice cracked embarrassingly and braced himself for bad news, but he froze in place when the door opened, revealing Tristan and…Cale, with Ron standing behind with his vicious smile.

“Well, good to see you're wide awake.” Tristan commented with a shake of his head at his lazy son standing before him like a statue with his pajamas and bed hair. He walked calmly while still dragging Cale with him, sitting down on the couch. Crossing his legs and arms, Tristan turned to Rok-Soo, who was still standing in his place. “Come sit down.”

Ron looked amused as the older redhead almost jumped from his place to sit down as if he had teleported within seconds.

Rok-Soo sat straight, looking down with his stoic face. ‘Is dad upset with me? Did I make a mistake after all? Was the way I approached Cale wrong? Is dad here to scold me?’ He, however, calmed himself by thinking everything should be all right if he apologized properly, and Tristan would understand and calm down, right?

Cale sat straight and kept looking a little down, feeling a bit betrayed by his dad after he was told to hide in the tower for as long as he wanted, and now he suddenly found himself seated before the very person he had been avoiding for nearly a month. No, it hadn’t even been a month yet!

Ron was amused by the two brothers’ father from their past life sitting on the middle couch and wondering why the two were so tense and scared like they expected to be hit any second now. Ron thought again the Emperor was indeed the two redheads’ father after all.

The old assassin butler closed his eyes and put a cup of tea in front of the Emperor, finding joy in how the glare looked similar to the two brothers’ at times.

Tristan stared at the tea for a moment before picking the cup at last, “Go ahead and talk.”

Everyone around waited in silence. The kids looked between the two redheads. Choi Han, Choi Jung-Soo and Sui Khan stood by the door with Vicross, feeling the tension in the room yet couldn’t help but find the situation a bit humorous. 

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

Finally, the younger redhead broke the silence, sounding small and unlike usual…

Rok-Soo looked at his dongsaeng, who, despite looking regretful, forced himself to look him in the eyes.

“I’m sorry. I really…I really didn’t mean any of the awful things I said that day.”

“…I know.”

Like everyone, Ron had a fond smile as he looked at his Puppy and Kitten Young Masters making up and being themselves again, as simply as that, and the one who made this meeting happen so easily was now casually sipping on lemon tea in the middle.   

“Hmm,” Tristan frowned slightly at the tea before looking up at Ron, “Your tea is disgusting.”

“…pfft,”

The two redheads tried hard to contain their laugh at their dad's abrupt remark.

“Hoo,”

Rok-Soo stopped immediately at the vicious sound from the old butler and quickly straightened his back. Cale coughed quietly and looked at Ron, still struggling to stop himself from laughing, “Ron, Dad is trying to tell you to take everyone outside and give us a moment alone.”  

Ron looked at the Emperor, who raised a daring eyebrow with the cup still in his hand. “Yes, sir.” He closed his eyes with his benign smile, still looking amused as he moved to lead everyone outside and closed the door silently behind his back.

“Now, talk like the good siblings you are.” Tristan took another sip with his eyes closed, making the two redheads slowly calm down and take their time to understand each other.

It took less than half an hour for everything to be cleared up at last.

“Goodness, you two really are still kids, huh?” Tristan sighed between the two, and they looked down, feeling sorry for having dragged their dad into their silly fight when he had his hands full of matters regarding his Empire. “Rok-Soo,”

Rok-Soo slightly flinched, “Yes?”

“Next time you notice Cale acting odd and find it hard to stop him from bathing in reports and work, you can tell me, and I’ll deal with it immediately.”

“…yes, Dad.”

Tristan nodded, still sipping tea, “And Cale,”

Cale hesitantly looked at his dad, “Yes?”

“It’s always better to talk to someone if you feel bothered by something instead of dealing with it alone. Rok-Soo and I are always ready to listen anytime, got it?”

Cale slightly looked down as he felt Rok-Soo’s eyes on him. “…yes, Dad.”

“Good,” Tristan nodded again, sighing next, “But seriously, this tea is gross, yuck.”

“……”

Rok-Soo and Cale looked at their dad, then at each other, holding back their laugh.

‘Right, Dad also hates sour things, especially if they contain lemons…’

They were almost sure Ron gave Tristan the cup, secretly enjoying the grimace the famous intimidating Emperor was doing his best to hide.

Tristan soon returned home and completely forgot to explain to his sons that Madelin went to the Henituse family for a ‘friendly’ talk, but he shrugged and focused on his work anyway.

[formerstingray]

I'd never read Madeline Miller's Circe because I deeply dislike the Telegony and I knew it was part of the retelling, but I gave it a try after you mentioned that you liked Miller's take on Odysseus. While I did unsurprisingly dislike everything inspired by the Telegony and occasionally the pacing, it was still a good read, and I loved Odysseus in it. So thank you for that, since your post was the reason I gave it a go!

(Your Odysseus is so similar to Miller's in all the best ways, but I still like yours even better.)

I’m so glad you gave it a go. She’s a very talented worldbuilder, and has an uncanny knack for evoking that cold narrow sense of the Homeric.

I’m reeling from being told you like my Odysseus even more than the Odysseus that inspired my Odysseus :,) I think the difference is just one of perspective. (And obv she’s an award winning novelist and im a humble fic writer lmao.) Like in both TSOA and Circe we see Odysseus from the perspective of people who deeply distrust him, and have entirely different intentions and interests to him. It is in fact in both Patroklos and Circe’s best interests to be wary of him. Whereas I write either from his perspective directly or from Penelope’s. So you get to see him much more vulnerable than he is in Miller; when it comes to his intellect, you get to see how the sausage is made so to speak. Thank you for this compliment <3

[devourcr]

i'm thinking a lot about s2 and the interaction between armand and madeline.

( this has nothing to do with my thoughts on the character, but how i see armand's perception of her, please don't view this as character hate or anything like that. )

i feel like armand was repulsed by ( his words ) and did dislike madeline quite a bit.

while armand chooses not to make another vampire and is against doing so, the use of the word "repulsed," is so strong. it's so pointed, in that moment, i don't think that he would use it every time someone might want a human turned into a vampire. he wouldn't allow it and doesn't like it, but repulsion?

i think that's very specific language for that situation. for madeline.

armand is the coven master. his presence demands respect and she undermines it. there's a big difference between the strong-willed personalities that armand is drawn to and absolute disrespect.

i don't think her disregard for human life really suits armand's vibe either. i keep thinking about "we honor the blood." and while humans are food and armand sees himself as predatory, i don't think they're ever just walking talking snacks.

i feel like he'd see the conversation as very shallow. or that he's talking to someone who who is almost boasting at a carelessness for human life ( that he'd assume would get worse with vampirism ).

while vampires tend to stay out of human wars and there is limited focus on the war within the show, the coven was also impacted by it. so at least for my portrayal, armand was very critical over her reaction post-war and during the war.

armand deals with the loss of what he knows multiple times before he's a vampire long enough for it to be time's fault. but i think that it's still different while you're human ( from the perspective of a 500 year old vampire ), his world is in literal history books. her mocking him would only make her seem juvenile and have a lack of understanding of what it really is to be removed from time.

a lot of this!!! to say that i think she offended tf out of him.

[bdapublishing]

howdy hey, bucky here! a few weeks back, we did a little mini-series on our instagram where we took our favorite albums and gave book recs based on each song from the album. i'm nothing if not a masochist and chose stick season (we'll all be here forever). it's long, it's mildly insane... but anyway, here are some book recs based on my favorite album:

northern attitude: amelia unabridged by ashley schumacher

stick season: funny you should ask by elissa sussman

all my love: hell followed with us by andrew joseph white

she calls me back: normal people by sally rooney

come over: if you could see the sun by ann liang

new perspective: running with lions by julian winters

everywhere, everything: red, white & royal blue by casey mcquiston

orange juice: if he had been with me by laura nowlin

strawberry wine: a little life by hanya yanagihara

growing sideways: we are okay by nina lacour

halloween: the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

homesick: anthropology of an american girl by hilary thayer hamann

still: six of crows by leigh bardugo

the view between villages: aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin alire sáenz

your needs, my needs: the song of achilles by madeline miller

dial drunk: if we were villains by m.l. rio

paul revere: the foxhole court by nora sakavic

no complaints: on earth we're briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong

call your mom: alone with you in the ether by olivie blake

you're gonna go far: the raven king by maggie stiefvater

alright that's plenty enough from me :')

[sunflowerromcom]

The Summer We Met

A Ted and Rebecca AU

Rebecca Welton had never enjoyed the idea of cooking until she had children. The thought of shopping, prepping, and putting together an abundance of ingredients to make something just for her was entirely off-putting, and even more so when she was married. Her ex-husband had criticized her enough over what she wore and ate enough as it was. The last thing she wanted to do was give him ample opportunity to criticize her domestic skills or lack thereof.

But then they’d divorced and a little over a year later, her doctor called her to confirm that all the planning and injections she’d endured over the last couple of months had all been worth it.

She was going to be a mother.

From that moment onward, her perspective on many things changed.

Culinary skills being one of them.

It wasn’t enough to have meals planned and stowed away like she had done for herself over the years because, as she would come to realize, a child’s palette was a finicky thing. Having the ability to whip up something while being conscientious about nutrition in it had become a necessity once her eldest grew into a toddler and even more so with the arrival of her twin girls a few years later.

She didn’t want to be one of those mums who ordered everything or one who relied on their nanny to take care of their children's needs for her. She wasn’t so posh she couldn’t learn to make her mother’s shepherd’s pie or quick, simple things like eggs, and bake jammy doggers for Christmas.

Of course, in the beginning, her cooking had been less than to be desired. Thankfully, she had more than ample opportunity to practice throughout her pregnancy, as her mother practically lived with her during her last trimester. Even as exhausting as her mother could be, Rebecca had no idea what she would have done without her help.

As she expected, the moment her doctor placed her beautiful daughter in her arms, she knew she wanted to be the sole person who provided for her.

And Rebecca had been for the last seven years.

“America,” her mother exclaimed, dropping her glasses along with the papers Rebecca had given to her back to the table. The bewildered look on her face made her bite the inside of her cheek. “Why on earth would you want to drag my grandchildren to that god-awful country?”

Rebecca opened her mouth to respond, but the scampering of little feet on the marble floor had her abruptly closing it.

“Mummy,” Madeline said, her soft voice carrying only so far that Rebecca kneeled to hear her better. Her daughter’s warm brown eyes gazed sweetly up at her. “Can we…” she trailed off, a little breathless from running. Rebecca brushed a lock of her gingerbread-colored hair behind her ear, admiring the way the English summer sun filtered in from the windows and cast honey tones throughout it while she waited for her to continue, “can we watch Bluey?”

“Where’s your sister?” she asked, because normally where there was one twin, there was usually the other.

“In the living room,” she said, pointing a little finger beyond the kitchen.

“Yes, you may, darling, but breakfast will be ready soon, so just for a little while.”

“Thank you,” she breathed oh so sweet and soft before she smiled and lifted on her toes, reaching her hands up and pursing her lips to give Rebecca a kiss.

She laughed lightly and placed a light kiss on her daughter’s lips. Rebecca’s heart constricted, watching her youngest hurry off, still in her pale purple pajamas, her ponytail swishing behind her, her butter yellow blanket with little rainbows tucked tightly against her side as she called out, “Mummy said okay, Poppy!”

“Sausage, who is this man?”

This man.

Rebecca’s heartbeat began to thunder, and she did her best to ignore it as she straightened and met her mother’s eyes. In the background, she could hear the distant Bluey theme song playing and see Juliette still painting outside. Knowing they wouldn’t be overheard, she answered with an honest, “The girls’ father.”

Her mother stared at her for a beat. “You told me the donor identity was sealed.”

Rebecca reached for her cup of tea on the counter next to where she had fruit set out to make them all fruit bowls to go with the quiche her mother had made. “Yes, well... there’s not much money can’t buy.”

Her mother sat back, her eyes intent on hers. “Let me get this straight. You plan on taking yourself and the girls to middle America so you can… what? Get a glimpse of the man who assisted in their creation?”

“That’s the gist of it, yes.”

There were other reasons, and her mother knew about them all. That she wasn’t bringing them up, told her a lot. Told Rebecca that she understood why.

“Alright.”

Rebecca blinked at her. Even if her mother understood, Rebecca had frankly expected she’d have to put up more of a defense. She’d even practiced what she would say when the time came more than the lines she had for a role in Twelfth Night in her second year. “That’s all you have to say?”

“What? You’re a grown woman. I trust you’ll take all the sensible precautions to keep my darling girls safe.”

“Of course I will. I have a house and a car. We’ll be fine.” She took the bunch of raspberries on the counter over to the sink to wash them. She watched her mother pick up the printout of the house she rented. Her eyes scanned the description. The modernized farmhouse home came fully furnished with cottage décor and high-end amenities, with two stories and a finished attic that had been renovated into one big open area that had been turned into a playroom.

It had three bedrooms, one king-size bed in one room, another a full-sized bed, and two double beds in the other. Stunning open arches separate the kitchen, living room, and dining room with hardwood floors throughout. The kitchen was spacious and lovely, with exposed brick and turquoise cabinetry and large garden windows. The living room had oversized cozy-looking couches with quilts thrown over the backs and a Smart TV. They’d have Wi-Fi so Rebecca could keep up with work, air-conditioning for those hot Kansas nights, a washer and dryer, and a dishwasher. Everything they could possibly need. “I was hoping you might come along. Not the entire summer, but a week or two?”

“Of course you were. Who else will help you with the girls?”

Rebecca rolled her eyes as she shook her head.

More pattering of little feet came then. Rebecca looked around just in time for Poppy to come running around the counter.

“Mummy, Mummy, Mummy,” Poppy cried, while running towards her, her arms outstretched for Rebecca. Rebecca leaned down just in time to scoop her up into her arms. “Can we swim today?”

“Swim?” She laughed. Poppy’s smile grew as she nodded, and Rebecca pressed a kiss to her sun-kissed baby girl’s cheek.

They’d spent nearly every summer day that it had not rained in the above-ground pool since she had it built two years ago. They built the stone base in the corner of the backyard. Large stepping stones were placed from the deck to its steps and were illuminated at night by garden lights. It’d been a hit in the summers with the girls, including Phoebe and Nora, and while the deepest part only came up to Rebecca’s hip, it was refreshing even for the adults.

This year had been no different.

Two weeks into the season, she and the girls already had a nice summer glow to them.

Rebecca sat Poppy down on the counter, gently tugging the bands that barely held her blonde hair that had come loose from the pigtail braids Rebecca had done up after her bath the night before. Rebecca leaned forward and kissed the tip of her daughter’s nose, making her giggle.

“When it warms up a bit more, we can.” She reached up and brushed her fingers through Poppy’s bangs before running them carefully through her hair.

The sound of another set of bare feet filled the room, then suddenly the sensation of her shirt being tugged. “I want up, too, Mummy.”

Rebecca smiled in amusement and lifted Maddie up to sit beside her twin, then went back to fixing Poppy’s hair.

“Can I have a berry?”

“You may,” Rebecca nodded at Maddie, who gave one to Poppy before taking one for herself.

Rebecca smiled, feeling for her girls filling her heart with her love for them both at how sweet her girls were with one another. Though they had always been that way. Since the day they’d been born, they preferred to be together. Cried when they were separated for a prolonged period of time. Cuddled each other when they needed a bit of comfort, the only exceptions being Juliette and Rebecca. Not until this last year had they begun to do things on their own or sleep in separate beds, and even then, Rebecca would wake some mornings and find one of them had snuck in with their sister during the night.

As fraternal twins, they were not identical. Where Madeline had dark hair and eyes, Poppy had light blonde hair and light hazel eyes spattered with specks of Rebecca’s green. They were, however, the same height. Both held firmly in the sixty-five percentiles, whereas Juliette had been in the ninetieth for their age.

It was almost certain Juliette would be as tall as Rebecca, but she thought the twins might be just a little over average.

Their personalities and temperaments greatly differed. Maddie was her lover, and Poppy was her fighter. But together, they were one another’s comfort and support, and Rebecca hoped beyond all hope that the love they held for one another continued into their teens.

When Rebecca finished with Poppy’s hair, she wrapped an arm around each, squeezing them together, kissing them noisily on their cheeks, drawing giggles from them.

When they were both breathless with laughter, Rebecca drew back, smiling down at them both. “Alright, let’s go tell your sister it’s time for breakfast.”

She set them both down on the floor and followed as they giggled their way to the back door. And for the rest of the day, conversations of fathers and trips to America were put on hold for the time being.

***

Two weeks passed entirely too quickly for Rebecca. Before she knew it, their holiday in Kansas was upon them. It had been a mad dash over the last week, what with meeting after meeting at the club, making sure Leslie had everything he needed to run it without her, and get them all ready.

Rebecca had booked an overnight flight, hoping the girls would sleep through the duration of the trip. She was certain Juliette and Poppy would sleep easily enough, however; Madeline, being her lightest sleeper, might need a bit of coaxing back to sleep throughout the night. Thankfully, she was little enough that she would fit in the pod with Rebecca if it came to that.

Her best friend sat in the middle of her bed, one of Rebecca’s pillows in her lap, her eyes watching Rebecca cross and recross her room while she packed.

“You’ve got Poppy’s bunny?”

Rebecca paused and pointed to a peach-colored, child-sized tote bag at the end of the bed. “Packed in her carry-on.”

Inside each bag, she had each of the girls pack one toy and a book they wished to take on the plane. Poppy had her plush bunny with soft white and brown fur and impossibly enormous feet, and because Poppy brought her stuffy, Madeline packed her own favorite plush, a pig they affectionately called Hammy. Juliette chose the Walkman Keeley had given her at her last birthday party, which was apparently back in style and all the rage, along with a stack of Taylor Swift CDs.

“What about Juliette’s backup glasses?”

Rebecca smirked. Her friend thinking just as she had when she first started packing. Essentials first. Her daughter was notorious for taking off her glasses and losing them, only to be found hours later. “In their case, which is in my purse.”

She picked up her tea from where it sat on her dresser and took a sip. She glanced down at her watch just to be sure it wasn’t getting too late, but they still had eight hours before their flight. Plenty of time.

“I can’t believe you’re taking my sweetlings away from me all summer.” Keeley stuck out her bottom lip, feigning a pout.

Rebecca’s own lips turned down. Keeley wasn’t the only one upset by her plan. They’d spent every summer together for the last six years after she and Keeley became fast friends at her own charity gala when Rebecca broke down in the loo. She’d just had Juliette three months before. She’d felt extremely self-conscious wearing a dress after having just had a child and spending every day in leggings and tee shirts, not to mention guilty for leaving her baby girl alone with her mother when all she wanted to do was be at home cuddling her. Keeley had walked in, saw the tears welling in her eyes, asked what was wrong, and after Rebecca tearfully explained how she missed her daughter and hated her exhusband who just had to show up uninvited, had given her a tight hug that Rebecca was very unused to, called her ex-husband a bunch of names that made Rebecca laugh through her tears, then promised her she’d looked fit as fuck.

She and Keeley left the gala together that night after Keeley appropriated a bottle of champagne for herself, and then it was back to Rebecca’s, where she introduced the young woman to Juliette.

They’d become their own tight-knit little family of sorts. Roy came into the picture a little later with his niece, Phoebe, who was only a few months older than Juliette. Then the twins a few years later.

“You’ll have Phoebe and Roy,” she said, smiling at the snort it brought out from her friend.

“I know, but it won’t be the same. It won’t be as bonkers without them all running around singing Let It Go and that fucking Bruno song at the top of their little lungs. They’ve even got Roy singing it in the shower now.” Rebecca let out a light laugh at that, knowing how easily both songs could get stuck in her own head. After a pause, Keeley looked up at her, her face set into a rare serious expression that had Rebecca raising an eyebrow. “You don’t have to do this, you know? So what if you never knew him? The girls will get it. You just need to talk to them.”

“I know they would,” Rebecca said, closing her eyes, her head falling back in a bit of exasperation. This wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation. They’d had it many times since the day The Sun had come out with a reprehensible headline that Juliette’s schoolmate had shown her at school. Her daughter had been so devastated that the nurse had called Rebecca to come to get her. She’d taken one look at the paper the nurse handed her in explanation and felt her heart sink lower than she’d ever thought it capable. They’d come home, had a cry, and snuggled together and eventually, Juliette told her how it all happened. “I would just rather take them away for the summer if these are the stories they’re going to continue to put out. I don’t even know why they started watching me again.”

“Probably because your shithead ex just had another child.”

Rebecca made a face. The man was going to be six feet under before his children would graduate. “Whatever it is, I’m going to do everything I can to spare the girls from it, and if it means leaving the country, so be it.”

“And that’s completely fair,” Keeley began, nodding, “but taking them to meet a man that may want nothing to do with them?”

Rebecca sighed, knowing there was a real chance of that very well being the case. However, Keeley had it all wrong, thinking she’d ever march her girls up to the man without having a conversation with him herself.

She moved away from her suitcase and let herself fall on the bed beside her friend.

Before she could explain, Keeley had her arm wrapped around her shoulders. “Babes, I’m worried about you. I don’t think this is the best idea.”

“That’s just it, though. I have a plan, and it’s nothing like you’re thinking.”

“Then tell me what the plan is? And maybe why you looked him up in the first place? This isn’t because of what that little shit said to Jules, is it?”

That little shit had been the same little git that had given Juliette the paper and had started referring to her as sperm baby.

Rebecca had thought there would be no greater pain than when she had walked in to find her husband cheating on her. Because it hadn’t just been the betrayal, but the lies, the deceit, the coldness afterward. It exposed her to re-live that pain every day following, as more and more of his lies and affairs came out on the front page of the papers.

However, years later, holding her young daughter to her chest after she had cried herself to sleep over an article that should have been no one’s business but her own, Rebecca faced a new depth of pain. It was a mother’s pain that felt unlike anything she’d ever experienced before. The one job she’d been adamant about never failing—protecting and loving her children with all that she had—she was doing a shit job of it. It was because of her that her child was hurting, and it was a pain and guilt she felt deep in her very being.

She had kissed the crown of her daughter’s blonde head, and from that moment forward, promised that she’d make amends for it all.

While the little shit had been the catalyst, Rebecca did it for her girls.

Rebecca shook her head, willing the tears to keep from falling as the emotions from that day had risen in her. “No, not because of what he said.”

Keeley tilted her head at her, her look knowing, calling her out on her bullshit. Rebecca should have known she wouldn’t have been able to keep that from her.

“At first, I suppose the incident at her school had been what initially led me to find him.” She blew out a breath and felt Keeley’s arm tighten around her. “At first, I just wanted to see who he was. I wanted to be able to tell Juliette something about him. And I admit there was a bit of curiosity about him I had myself. To see where Juliette got those big brown eyes, and where Poppy got those adorable dimples, where Madeline got…” Rebecca trailed off, thinking of her youngest and how her soft brown hair, her dark eyes, and bright smile were the spitting image of the man in the photographs she received, “all that she is.”

Keeley laughed. They’d always joked that the father, whoever he was, had to be good-looking because Madeline had a beautiful uniqueness to her she could only have gotten from her other parent. “If any of them take after their dad, it’s her.”

“I’m not going to take them with me to meet him if that’s what you’re thinking. They’re going to stay at the house with my mother. I’ve had Leslie set up a meeting with him. I’m going to sit down and introduce myself, work up the nerve to tell him about them, and then—”

“Hope like fuck he doesn’t sue you for all your millions.”

Her shoulders slumped. For someone who was normally a floating ray of positive fucking sunshine, her friend could very pessimistic. Besides, from what Rebecca had gathered about him, he didn’t seem to be the litigious type. “I don’t think he’s that kind of man.”

“How do you know?”

“I…” She raised a finger and held it up, considering how deep she was already in this plan of hers. She dropped her hand with a sigh. In for a penny, in for a pound. “I might have hired a private investigator to look into him.”

Keeley’s eyes widened. “You didn’t!”

“I’m not daft, Keeley. I’m not going to go bloody meet him, nor let the man near my children without knowing he’s not complete sod or, you know, some kind of serial killer.”

“Oh my God, if you hired a PI, then that means you have a picture! I want to see him!”

Rebecca groaned, then rose to her feet, knowing it’d be no use to keep them from her. She crossed the room to the other side of the bed, where she left her phone beside her suitcase. “Fine, but you have to promise not to laugh.”

“Why would I laugh—Oh,” she paused, holding up a hand to her chest, “is he like a four out of ten something?”

“He’s most certainly not a four.”

Rebecca tapped on the screen until she had her gallery up and the few hidden pictures she’d downloaded on her phone into a hidden folder, making sure the girls wouldn’t be able to see them. She handed it over to her friend and awaited her reaction.

“Ohmygod, Rebecca!” Keeley looked up at her with wide eyes for half a second, then dropped her gaze back down to her phone. “Is this really him?”

Rebecca went over to the door to her room, glad that her mother was outside keeping the girls entertained, and shut it lightly behind her, letting her weight fall back against it. “It is.”

“I’d call him a goddamn eleven with that beard of his.” She must have swiped from the picture of the full beard to the one that was a few years before of him completely clean shaved. His coach’s profile photo was on the Kansas University website. “Aww, I think he has such a kind face. God, Maddie is definitely that man’s child. I see Poppy’s nose for sure and aww, look at that smile… There are Juliette’s dimples.” The next thing Rebecca knew, Keeley was looking up at her with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” she said with a laugh, wiping away a few tears that had fallen.

Rebecca went back over to the side of her bed not covered in suitcases and this time put an arm around her friend. Keeley’s head fell on her shoulder. Rebecca’s gaze dropped to the picture. The feelings she felt when she first had a look at them still fluttered in her belly and squeezed at her heart. She hadn’t known what to expect, but the relief that came from seeing a kind-looking face staring back at her filled her with hope for not only her but for her girls.

She was a firm believer that you could tell a lot about a person by the way they looked, and the way they presented themselves to the world, and Ted Lasso radiated optimism and happiness. He didn’t look like a man who would turn them away if he met them tomorrow or ten years from now. And that feeling she had about him only solidified when she read through his coach’s file and watched his silly videos on YouTube.

Again, her friend was right in sync with her train of thought, asking, “What’s so funny about him, though?”

Rebecca took her phone, pulled up another app, and typed in his name. She tapped on the first and most popular video, handed the phone back to her friend, and waited.

But the laughter never came, only a pull of her lips up into a wide grin. “Aww, he’s sweet. His accent sounds a lot like that guy from Sweet Home Alabama.” Her friend’s brows drew together then. “If you have all this, why do you still want to meet him? I mean, the man looks like he’d be a complete cinnamon roll… though, I guess you don’t want to go introducing them before you prepare the man.”

Rebecca tapped her nose. “That and a few interviews and a silly dancing video in a locker room with his team doesn’t tell me much beyond the fact that he cares about his job.”

“No, but it tells you he’s not bad to look at with that beard of his.” Keeley bumped her shoulder against hers.

She took the phone back from her and gazed down at the man in the photo, swearing to herself her heart wasn’t thumping any harder in her chest just from looking at him. “He is rather handsome.”

“Don’t go falling for him while you’re over there,” Keeley said, slapping her playfully on the thigh. “One proper pounding from the father of your babies and I’ll never see you again.”

Rebecca made a face. “He’s recently divorced. If he’s anything like I was after mine, I highly doubt he’s looking for anything even remotely close to a relationship. Not that I would be interested.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m not.”

“I’m just saying he’s the father of your children. Your three adorable girls. You’re telling me there’s absolutely nothing attractive about how beautiful your babies are when your stuff gets mixed with his?”

Her cheeks filled with heat. She rose from the bed to continue with her packing. “Good God, Keeley, not when you say it like that.”

“Think about it, babes, you’ve had his—”

She closed her eyes, her hands flying up to her temples as shook her head. “Yes, yes, yes, I know what I’ve had. Can we please talk about anything else?”

Keeley laughed. “Did you pack your vibrator? I have a feeling you might need it.”

Rebecca reached over, grabbed a throw pillow, and lobbed it at her.