#and tries to forgive abusive ones
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"oughhh you can't like carmine, she's abusive, she says 'its not like i hit him' in one scene so she's toxic and bad and you shouldn't portray her in a sympathetic light!!!" speaking as someone who genuinely has a toxic relationship with his older brother... shut up lmao
#part of her arc is literally about how she's wrong about how she treats outsiders and kieran and grows past it#like yeah her behavior is a major contributor to his mental breakdown but thats... the point. that shes in the wrong#and tries to make amends for it#like man idk thats better than what my own brother's done for me skldfjslkdf#also tbh thats another case where im like ''what does the original japanese text say'' bc thats a very pointed phrase#its also only one phrase in a game where she's otherwise concerned for him and is bad at showing it#i would also say that line could be interpreted in different ways... like why are kieran and carmine in custody of their grandparents?#not their bio parents?#tbh i think ppl are just put off that theyre not perfect siblings and dont do therapy speak lmao#im also a lot more forgiving to lines like that when theyre coming from characters who are very obviously wrong#like its not just a throwaway line that gets disregarded or seen as ''hehe CLASSIC carmine!'' no her relationship with kiki is strained!!#idk. reading wc and having to read jayfeather emotionally abuse a baby orphan with zero consequences will make you much more forgiving#of characters like carmine#echoed voice
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My dad, jokingly: "I'm badman"
Me: "haha sure" (not thinking he's anything like batman)
My dad: *left/ separated from my mum when I was a teen, started a GTA gang that helps bullied kids, ended up emotionally adopting like 8 kids and helped them through bullying, suicide, abuse, etc.*
Me: *was hurt by an abuser and had to deal with said abuser being forgiven by family around me*
Me: *gets into Batman lore*
Me: ...
"Wait a second..."
#I guess this makes me Jason Todd lmao#I love him don't get me wrong#but he's also literally Bats here with the leaving and then coming back with eight adopted kids#and me going through a whole thing with wanting to cut off certain people#having anger issues#and having a complex relationship with him and at first feeling a bit like I was replaced#Like damn#He really is Bruce and I'm way too much like Jason#Also thinking about hoe my older brother feels overly responsible and tries to act like a leader#He's so much like Nightwing/ Dick Grayson#Overly forgiving and trying to be more of a leader than he should be and the family oriented type of guy#Don't get me wrong I love him too#Buuut as the younger sibling it's my job to pick on him a bit#Our relationship is a bit like Jason and Dick with comradery but with jabs at each other and not always agreeing with how to do things#He's more of a moderate liberal tyoe too#Wants to save everyone on all sides whereas I'm more of a radical leftist who can hold a grudge#Yeah I can definitely see the batfam in us lmao#Idk what middle brother would be#maybe a bit like Barbara with trying to be the smartest? He's not exactly an overachiever but I think he longs for our mum's attention#I mean we all have sure but I think he's in deeper with that#Me and the oldest one were/ are the more rebellious types or I guess the ones that questioned our parents more#Whereas he kinda goes along with everything and backs them up and seeks a lot of approval#Not a bad thing but can make him sort of dependant and try to seem stronger and smarter than he is/ or needs to act#And ofc out of all us I'm probably the most rebellious#less so when I was little but after not being believed when I said I was abused by a certain old shithead was a big c#*shift for me#Made me trust their judgement a lot less and look for my own path ig#So very similar to Jason there with seeing flaws in Batman's morals and rejecting them because of how they got him hurt#Sort of like how I rejected/ reject the moderate “all sides” standpoint in my family#there's a lt of forgiveness given to people who don't really deserve it in our extended family
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Don't know whether it's a product of my upbringing or just part of who I am, but I really do tend to shrug off things that seem to send others into massive guilt spirals. Like, what's the point? Either you meant to do it or you didn't. If you meant to do it but regret it now, make what amends you can & resolve to do better, then move on. If you didn't mean to, be honest about it, apologize if need be, & try to do better. Then move on.
Beating yourself up truly serves no purpose. What are we, catholic? If there is a god, I truly don't think they'd care, anyways
#speculation nation#religion might have some part in it. i was taught a flavor of christianity that portrayed god as loving above all else.#portrayed god as *forgiving*. thats the point of jesus dying on the cross? forgiving your sins?#i was taught that so long as you tried to do good and believed in god then you would go to heaven.#none of that internalized guilt shit. it really serves no purpose.#this could potentially stem from prior abuse too. in which case. well. i hope people can break out of those patterns of thought. sincerely.#i have a history with abuse but idk ive run under a 'fuck those people' mentality. why should i run by the way they treated me?? genuinely.#no one person is singularly horrible and irredeemable. no not even you.#youre your harshest critic. you have front row seats to all ur nasty thoughts. things that most people dont say out loud.#everyone has nasty thoughts though. some more than others. but what matters is what you *do*. not what you think.#no one is gonna know any mean or awful thoughts you have if you dont tell them. thought crimes arent real. what matters is what you *do*.#and even for the things you do wrong. everyone makes mistakes. just work to do better next time.#genuinely makes me so sad to see polls asking about ppl's self perceptions & seeing majority of ppl so down on themselves.#like come on. i used to think i was an awful person bc i knew all the mean and kind of manipulative things id think.#but eventually i recognized that no one is perfect and everyone has ugly thoughts. just do your best to do good & learn from your mistakes.#if you do that much then youre a well-meaning human being. not perfect but no one is. that should be enough.#maybe if i exhibit enough of my 'idgaf' attitude about this kind of thing i can influence some other ppl with it as well. 🤔🤔 hmmm
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being a jackgirl is terrible enough but being a jackgirl who understands dean is a burden I would wish on everyone so we’d stop having the same seven-year-old discourse about whether or not dean is really jack’s dad
#say it with me kids:#THIS IS THE CYCLE OF ABUSE AND BEING A BETTER PERSON SHOW. THERES GONNA BE SOME PERPETUATION AND BEING WORSE.#also. cannot stress this enough that Dean canonically never forgave himself for it. for TWO STRAIGHT YEARS he could not let go of it#this man once said that he was good with who he was INCLUDING every single murder and fuckup he ever committed#but the one thing he absolutely couldn���t forgive himself for was how he treated jack#also also. not only did Jack forgive him but their entire ‘spat’ lasted two weeks lmao#get over yourseeellllveesssss dean is jacks dad#cal.txt#spn#jack kline#dean winchester#‘oh but he tried to kill Jack in this episode’ okay? as if he didn’t try to kill sam or cas before? as if THEY haven’t tried to kill him?#as if they ALL haven’t tried to kill each other at some point??#what show are y’all watching that you think this is suddenly exclusive to dean#tsk tsk tsk
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honestly leave it to wc to use a plotline that usually has me cheering and clapping just have me go “…. alright then”
#in theory barley and violet dissing hoot and jumper is a good concept. they turned on them and tried to kill them#and they continued to torment them. they almost beat their sister to death#violet and barley dont owe them a single thing and im glad they told them to fuck off when they tried crawling back#‘’help us!’’ ‘why? you didnt help us.’’ is a good exchange i gotta stress that#but……. man the backstory and narrative choices in the entire series just kinda drags it down for me#like for one. if bloodclan is so abusive and scourge hated families. shouldnt that mean hoot and jumper are also victims?#actually why can they live together as brothers and no one cares and scourge can have them as his besties#(……. its almost like that rule makes no sense and is just a half assed way to make bloodclan seem eeeeeevil compared to the clans)#and second. wc is so anti redemption man. the only time we really and truly got one was fucking skystar#and even then. it was fucking skystar.#hoot and jumper are eeeeevil child killing kidnapping rogues who are not worth analyzing or considering oughhh#i stg btw this does not mean im defending them or wanted the siblings to instantly forgive them#but given the context of how bloodclan is treated as a whole as ‘’ewwwww those atheist monsters think theyre a CLAN’’#and barleys called a warrior just for this battle. idk it feels off#wc comics lb
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4:46AM
I've done a lot of emotional labor tonight and I am tired.
A friend earlier this evening messaged me. We don't talk a lot other than when we see each other in person but sometimes he gets buzzed/drunk and will end up messaging me. Which is what he did tonight. It wasn't too bad, he was spiraling a little about something, I didn't ask. Mostly just wanted to talk.
Then right when I was falling asleep at 3AM my friend with the piece of shit abusive husband calls me which is usually a good way to ruin my night, though never as badly as hers has been. At least tonight she was calling because he decided to be an abusive piece of shit again and got arrested this time. But I did have to sit with her for almost two hours while she processed that. She also just got over covid. Or is supposedly over it. I swear if I get covid from this I'll be so pissed. I'm going see Janelle Monae next weekend. But at least he's hopefully out the picture since he was already on probation from the last time he was an abusive piece of shit.
No one is allowed to have a single feeling in my vicinity for the next 24 hours. I just can't do it
#i know I sound insensitive about my friend and her abusive situation#but she has ignored my advice from day one about him#but I'm who gets called any time day or night when he acts up#and she keeps going back#i understand the complexities of it#but its exhausting to watch#i told her once if she doesn't leave him I'll be testifying at her murder trial#she let that fucking man live in my house#something i still don't reallt forgive her for#i asked her why he had been arrested and she insisted he wasn't dangerous it was just a bipolar episode#i find out months later after they move she's always known he was dangerous#he tried to drown her once!!!
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"a good therapist can change your life" but like every shitty therapist makes it that much harder to even want to try or trust a therapist
i am starting to think it's weird how we treat therapy like the end-all be-all to mental health when so many of them can make it so much worse
#my doctor keeps going 'you should go back to therapy ur meds work best with therapy'#but like. it's expensive and exhausting and i have tried so many therapists and they all sucked#my last one deadnamed me and told me that calling my older sister abusive might be a step to far and#tried to convince me i needed to forgive her???? i was explicitly there to work on getting over my extreme fear of driving lol???#+i'd reached a decent point of peace with my sister i just hate her. idk why it was so important to this man that i forgive her???
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I just realized something really sad
I have two best friends outside of tumblr (my only irls that aren't roommates basically) and one of them I try to talk to constantly but she doesn't always respond, in fact she kind of barely does. I want to talk to her all the time but I always feel like I'm boring her or like she doesn't understand why I can't do some of the things I can't do.
The other one is always trying to talk to me, usually trying to call me. But I rarely ever pick up or respond or text first. My relationship with her is really complicated because some of my alters are very hurt from some things she did a while ago, others just don't trust her, and then the ones that front when we talk love her.
I have so many mixed feelings and the switches triggered by that mean I always don't answer or forget because I have dissociative amnesia about her trying to contact me in the first place... I don't know, I don't want to make excuses for myself but I genuinely don't know if this is a valid reason for treating her the way I do or if I'm an awful friend. Of course, it could also be both. I just don't know what to do. I don't want her to feel neglected by me like I sometimes do with my other friend.
#for some context about what the things that hurt these alters were ill elaborate here in the tags#so me and friend 2 have been friends for a very long time. since i was about 13-14 and were both adults now#i was raised Christian and it deeply traumatized me. i didnt deconvert until i was about 17 and even then was back and forth#i know theres a lot of variability in Christianity and maybe not everyone raised Christian will be traumatized#but i really really was. and if youve seen some of my posts about my religious trauma youll know why#when i was 18 i had just moved out of my moms house and was basically crashing on a friends couch/floor#i was extremely stressed and vulnerable at the time#and during that time my friend tried to reconvert me#i dont remember exactly what she said but it devolved into arguing and i had a panic attack over it at least once#we didnt talk for a while#shes also stated pretty directly before that she believes being transgender (which i am) is wrong#i let it slide because she apologized and stopped pushing the matter#she almost never brings it up anymore#and parts of me forgive her but other parts don't#i feel like i should also talk about the ways that shes a good friend because this is gonna make it seem really one sided otherwise#so for one shes been with me through the hardest years of my life#talking me down from taking my life late into the nights... being there when no one else was... reminding me that im worth something#shes been patient and kind and supportive all this time#she was also the person who eventually got me to realize that my parents and even my siblings were abusive and neglectful#which was a very big deal for me#i wouldnt have lived this long without her suppory#even now she checks in on me#making sure im not suicidal and reminding me that shes here for me#always reaching out if i havent responded in a while just to make sure im okay#she also struggles with a lot of the same stuff as me having had ptsd depression and an eating disorder before#so she helps me feel less alone#but now i dont ever feel close to her#and i dont know if i ever will again#i feel cruel for not telling her the truth if i haven't forgiven her yet but I don't think itd do any good for her to know
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my mother is absolutely convinced of some nonsense conspiracy theory that (in her words) "originally humanity lived in peaceful all-woman societies of goddess worshippers who took care of eachother and lived in harmony, while males were roving loners that had no society and never cooperated. that changed when the men banded together and overthrew the peaceful woman-dominated societies, and enslaved us all." and, according to her, this is proof that a woman-dominated world would be innately more peaceful, and that men are innately violent and evil and should be either barred from holding any legal power or leadership roles or at least should be (again in her words) "gelded like bulls" to remove their testosterone before even being considered for such a thing.
she also evidently believes that the problem with all religions today is primarily that they aren't "goddess worshippers", because she seems to think goddess religions are inherently peaceful and pure too and seems to be especially obsessed with "Isis" in particular. the very very few times she's openly considered it unambiguously bad for some population or another to have been exterminated (she's got a bad case of devil's advocating genocide brain), she's gone out of her way to make up some crap about how said people were a peaceful society of goddess-worshippers, almost always of isis. delusions of isis-worship seem to be the only thing that ever causes her to consider any arab or middle-eastern culture, society, or ethnicity to be relatively uncomplicatedly undeserving of extermination, in fact, because every fucking time she doesn't immediately start devils-advocating it and making remarks about how "the rest of the world should box them in and let them blow eachother up" it's when she's whinging on about how whatever specific micro-ethnicity she's thinking about are or were traditional persecuted isis-worshippers.
the sole major exception to her weird fixation on isis worship justifying worthiness of life is the whole israel thing going on, in which she has consistently made very obvious that literally the only reason she's against the genocide of palestine is because it gives her an excuse to even more openly hate jewish people than she already did. and honestly i'm not sure even that's true because i think she's made some offhand remarks about palestinians having probably been peaceful isis worshipers before the jews infected them with christianity or something anyway.
so for the last, however fucking long it's been i've been constantly having to listen to her go off about how this behavior is in the jew's blood or whatever and that they literally invented all genocide because somehow the concept didn't exist before them and wouldn't have ever been invented by the rest of humanity without those jewish aliens dropping it in i fucking guess apparently and she furthermore goes on about how every single genocide and mass-oppression movement in history is directly inspired by them, ESPECIALLY the nazis, and THEN i have to listen to her rant about how, basically, wwii was something they entirely brought on themselves by "dominating the economy and treating everyone not them like shit" and the nazis were just "using their own tactics back at them". and then she goes on a rant about how the people the original jews exterminated back in the day (aka the first ever genocide, which they invented, because jews invented genocide and hate according to her) in the middle east region were peaceful matriarchal isis-worshipers.
and then she starts making comments about arabs being backwards and palestinians either being mysogynist muslims that should be boxed in to blow eachother up with everyone else or secret peaceful isis worshippers corrupted by men's cruel hand, sometimes in the same sentence, entirely dependent on which group she's more in the mood to hate at the time.
it's exhausting. beyond exhausting. her sole purpose in existence seems to be to have the singularly most exhausting set of politics physically possible to fit into one person.
just, sometimes i think, if there really is anything at all to the incredibly stupid and inexplicably popular idea that anyone or anything has a Purpose tm to exist for, i feel like my mother's purpose is to be walking proof to me of a Type Of Guy That Is Real, cause i sure as fuck would have trouble inventing this mess if it wasn't standing right in front of me spewing confusingly bipartisan hate. all of her thoughts and opinions are these long winding nonsense chains that feel like if that man carrying thing sketch about the friend with confusing politics was a person. on meth.
#and sometimes i feel like she just believes whatever will allow her to hate and feel innately superior to the most people#the fact that this woman considers herself a leftist#... well. given what this country just voted for it looks unfortunately likely that she IS in fact a fairly average example of a leftist#and therefore i have zero remaining hope for or particular desire to save humanity#actually it kind of feels like the only reason she really aligns herself with “the left” is because she's a female supremacist#and the left is the closest thing to a movement in that direction compared to the only current alternate party's “lets undo women's rights”#and also she inexplicably hates trump despite constantly devils-advocating for him and how he “has some good ideas”#and yes she does specifically mean about immigrants and the wall. one of her staunchest positions is pro-closed borders#honesty if trump was a woman and not a misogynist sex pest i think she would like him a lot. even despite his blatant ignorance of economic#she's also a big “anti-wokeist” type and we can barely watch any movies anymore without her whining about there being black people in them#and then she's like “PEOPLE ONLY DON'T WANT TO WATCH MOVIES WITH ME BECAUSE MY THEORIES ARE ALWAYS RIGHT AND THEY'RE JEALOUS OF HOW SMART”#she's nominally anti-corporation but in practice tends to come down on their side and is also staunchly against student loan forgiveness#because she thinks that “anyone who's stupid enough to do that deserves it”#and “it would be a slap in the face to ME and everyone else that had to pay”#and “kids these days don't want to develop healthy financial habits so they can SAVE for things. i SAVED for it and i know how HARD it is”#the way she often talks i also increasingly feel like the only actual reason she hates christianity is because she's a female supremacist#especially since she regularly goes on about biblical things as if they're real and complains that god either must be a woman#because “only women can create”#or that god CLEARLY is a man because he's destructive and evil and Destruction is a Man Thing That All Men And Only Men Innately Do#and likes to talk about how “jesus said he would come back as the least of us so he would be a woman”#and then goes on to describe a woman that sounds suspiciously like her. or at least her perception of herself#she's also said that if she wasn't straight she would be a political lesbian by choice because she hates men so much#and has tried repeatedly to bitch at me about men in an “eyyy amirite sister” kind of way#and got mad when i didn't fancy the idea of sitting there joking with her about half the species being barely-sentient cancer nodes#but she ALSO identifies as sapiosexual despite having the most vanilla housewife smut book taste ever#but ALSO she considers every single other sexuality aside from straight and gay to be made up woke mental illness nonsense!#so according to her the only orientations are “normal”. gay. and sapiosexual. and SOMETIMES bi (but no pan or poly).#i'm fairly sure she's convinced asexuality isn't real and is just repression. she certainly acts like i never said anything every time.#unless she's explosively yelling at me for “always bringing it up” when i tell her to stop making jokes about me being attracted to things#and she thinks anything other than monogamy is “selfish” and “exists only for men to abuse women”. especially muslim and arab men.
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So what are Will's flaws?
Is Will totally perfect in every way? Is he a jealous saboteur? Or a secret third option... neither. Let's discuss Will's flaws and nuances!
1. Emotional suppression
Will avoids his problems. He hates talking about both his emotional and physical danger because he doesn't want to be treated differently. From a young age, he was taught by Lonnie that he shouldn't express his emotions because that makes him "sensitive" and "weak." So now he likes to hide.
This emotional suppression causes his feelings to worsen over time. Once he finally lets it out, he explodes. Instead of healthy conversations, he says and does things that he'll probably regret later. He blows up at Mike, he yells at Jonathan, he destroys Castle Byers, he shows his hand (what about us?)
Will's avoidance doesn't only have consequences on him, but others. If he had told someone he was feeling the Mind Flayer earlier, they might've been able to save some of the Flayed. But he couldn't tell someone because that puts him in a place of emotional vulnerability. That's exactly why he waited until after he fought with the boys to mention the supernatural. He traded one vulnerable situation for another, allowing him to avoid opening up about his true feelings. It was a distraction.
This also doesn't let others to heal from their altercations. Both Lucas and Mike try to apologize to Will, but he brushes them off. Will thinks he doesn't deserve consideration. The walls he puts up forces others to hold onto their own guilt, leaving a sore spot in their relationship. We can see this soreness in Will and Mike's relationship in s4. They never healed from the rain fight. Well... not that Mike tried to apologize after the Mind Flayer debacle. Again, distraction on Will's part.
Will’s inability to handle change is also due to him bottling up his feelings. His trauma and suppression makes him stuck in the past. He doesn’t let himself move through each day where these emotions would be felt.
It's interesting how Will is deemed the emotional one when his sensitivity is actually a result of him keeping his emotions in. Once that dam is opened, it's hard for him to stop. He breaks, just as he fears.
2. Self-hatred
And all that emotional suppression leads to Will internalizing other people's view of him. Will's self-hatred stems from bullying and his father's abuse. He thinks he's to blame, that he's a mistake. As more people distance themselves from Will, he believes there's something wrong with him.
When he thinks he deserves mistreatment, his relationships crumble more. They're unable to reconcile. True forgiveness can't be achieved if he doesn't think he should be apologized to in the first place.
Will's hatred is the reason why he tried to sacrifice himself in s2 to save his friends. He doesn't think he deserves to be saved. This makes him an easy target for Vecna. It's very likely that Will's self-hatred will factor into his upcoming supernatural plot.
The more Will hates himself, the more he hides, the more he suppresses his emotions.
3. People pleaser
If Will is anything, he's a people pleaser. He's selfless. So much so that this is the first thing we find out about him. While admirable, it actually leads to more bad than good. His people pleasing tendency goes hand in hand with his emotional suppression. Will doesn't like to take up space and inconvenience other people.
Will's never ending effort to please others leads to him making assumptions. Wrong assumptions. Whether it be letting Max join them on Halloween or pushing Mike to give a love confession, Will tries his best to use his mediator role to give people what they want.
But he doesn't know what they want, does he? Will wanted to make Dustin and Lucas happy, but this created a rift with Mike. He thought Mike was itching to profess his love for El, but that wasn’t what either of them needed. In an attempt to help, he's making it worse.
He must be successful sometimes, though, because there's an expectation from his friends that he'll fulfill their needs at the flick of a wand. This vacancy from Will makes him a pushover. They think they can make fun of him and he'll just take it because that's what he does. When Will finally stands up for himself, they're shocked. That's out of character for him. It's like they want to say: “Why isn't he letting us be mean to him? :(”
Mike even expected Will to tell him that his own girlfriend was being bullied. Will's people pleasing explodes in his face. So now when he's unable to read their needs and fix it for them, he's to blame. Will takes on the weight of their problems too much. While it's good that they rely on him, there shouldn't be pressure for him to judge their every whim. But it's not exactly their fault because Will set the stage for this behavior.
Weirdly, Will's need to please others is the reason why he didn't call Mike. He thought Mike wanted nothing to do with him, so he didn't reach out. There he goes assuming things again! But Will was there, waiting for the rare occasion where Mike did want him. He went so far right that he ended up left.
Will's behavior towards El is also an instance of wrong assumptions. Will didn't like being treated differently in s2, so he assumed El would feel the same way. He used his own experiences to inform how he should treat others. Babying El would make her feel more ostracized. Instead, he offered emotional comfort, similar to the comfort he received, after the bullying. This doesn't really help her because she doesn't have the same emotional mechanics as Will.
So Will assumes things, pushes his own wants down, and lets people walk all over him all in the name of being pleasant.
4. Freeze, fly, fight. In that order!
When Will is scared, he freezes. This flaw is so significant that they talked about it textually multiple times. I'm not sure I would consider it a flaw since it has saved him more than it's harmed him, though.
The few times Will has decided to fight instead of freeze, he was kidnapped and possessed. Confrontation isn't an option for him. His body believes he'll be put directly in danger if he does anything but freeze/fly. Fight is only used as a last resort.
It only really enters flaw territory when it's an inconvenience. He froze during the sauna test, when El was being bullied, and when he should've shot the creature in the shed. Will is unable to help himself and others when he's scared.
When he snaps out of it, he cries and feels guilty for being so hesitant. He wishes he could do more but he can't. This wraps back around to his self-hatred.
5. Jealousy
When his best friend of 10 years that he's in love with starts to ditch him for some random girl, it's not shocking that there would be some jealousy! Will is the silent jealous type. His jealousy doesn't really manifest into resentment or outward action against the other person. Unlike a certain someone...
Will only shows it through rolling eyes, a snarky comment here or there, or an outburst at his most emotionally vulnerable. I mean, if Will really wanted to see El crash and burn, he could've kept his mouth shut the entire Rink-O-Mania day. Or he could've ignored her in the courtyard as she picks up the pieces of her project. But he didn't.
The worst we've seen Will's jealousy was during the rain fight. He called El stupid. There's no beating around the bush, he was in the wrong for that. But this came out of Will because his emotions were at an all time high. Why? Emotional suppression!
A lot of Will's snarky comments towards El are out of genuine confusion. He doesn't understand how El can have exactly what he wants, but she's willing to ruin it by lying. Unfortunately, he later learns that exact lesson. He's envious that she can do what Mike hates without major repercussions, while he's somehow blamed for her lies. And why does he get blamed? People pleaser expectations!
Will waited until a quiet moment to inform El of her mistakes. Will's goal isn't to humiliate El. He doesn't let his jealousy lead to resentment. Instead, he tried to (snarkily) lead her to make better decisions because it's not fair! It's not fair that she can have it all without working for it!
And now we're back at self-hatred. Some of his jealous moments make it bubble back up. He bends his painting, something he put his blood, sweat, and tears into, because he isn't enough for them. Their ideal day is without him. Will's art is an extension of himself. He's aiming his anger back at himself by hurting his art.
All of his flaws connect back to his low self-esteem in some way. This is why it's important for Will to receive and accept love in his life. A big part of his arc is self acceptance.
So there it is in all its glory! All of Will's main flaws in one post. What did we learn? Will suppresses his emotions, hates himself, pleases others to a fault, freezes, and is green with envy. And he wouldn't be Will without 'em!
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You’re Mine, Sunshine (masterlist) ♡
♡ Pairing: Grumpy!Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Fem!Reader (Mob!Au Bodyguard!Au)
♡ Series Summary: Bucky gets picked by a very rich and respected man to be his daughter’s personal bodyguard. The Father warns him that it won’t be an easy job, that she is a brat and difficult to deal with. But what happens when Bucky meets you and you’re the complete opposite?
♡ Series Warnings: mentions of amputation, dark themes, violence, death/death threats, talk of parent death, fluff, angst, stalking, daddy issues, anxiety attacks/panic attacks, abuse, depression, depressive episodes, PTSD, dry humping, hints to smut, (warnings to be added as new chapters are released)
Trope ⇢ Grumpy x Sunshine ☀️
(SERIES ONGOING)
Last Updated: 9/8/23
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | SERIES 18+
⇨ Chapter One
↳ After Pierce interviews Bucky for the job, he warns him of you. Bucky is starting to rethink his decision, but when he meets you... you're not what he expected.
⇨ Chapter Two
↳ Bucky takes you home, and later finds you in the library. You both get to know each other a little better, but Bucky is hesitant.
⇨ Chapter Three
↳ Bucky has a surprise meeting with Pierce, getting informed about your secret admire. Meanwhile, Bucky tries to keep things professional, he’s hesitant to cross the line when you need him.
⇨ Chapter Four
↳ You don’t know what to think of Bucky after he took you to bed last night. Bucky can’t continue to keep the stalking situation hidden from you. Something is found on your doorstep.
⇨ Chapter Five
↳ Getting to know each other better doesn’t go according to plan. Bucky has to comfort you and fix the mess he made. Will you forgive him?
⇨ Chapter Six
↳ Bucky receives a morning visit from Steve, with the news about what was in the box. Bucky continues to think about what he should do. Should he tell you the truth about your stalker?
⇨ Chapter Seven
↳ Bucky finds you making a mess in the kitchen, attempting to bake and offers his help. The two of you get to talking and some reveals about each other begin to come out. Will he finally tell you about your stalker?
⇨ Chapter Eight
↳ After a surprise visit from Pierce, tension arises as he threatens Bucky of his job. Pierce wants to have a talk with you and it doesn't go very well.
⇨ Chapter Nine
↳ After the events from the other day, you try and cope with the reality of what happened. The world is a lot less colorful than you remember. Bucky helps comfort you after you realize you have no one left.
⇨ Chapter Ten
↳ Someone comes knocking at your door in the morning. Bucky answers and is surprised with who he finds. Are they going to help them or hurt them?
⇨ Chapter Eleven
↳ The tension can't be ignored anymore between you and Bucky. Steve shows up and he's not alone.
⇨ Chapter Twelve
↳ Reality is hitting you as you, Bucky, Steve and his men all venture off to a secret safe house only Steve knows about. The events from the last couple of days are starting to hit you with a sickening force, leaving you weak and crippled.
⇨ Chapter Thirteen
↳ Your dreams consist of random memories of your parents, but are they really random? Despite the past days of hell—you still find it difficult to resist Bucky. You two spend a heated morning together, devouring each other while you still have these moments.
#bodyguard bucky barnes#bucky barnes#the winter soldier#marvel cinematic universe#reader insert#sebastian stan#buckybarnes#fluff#angst#protective bucky barnes#bucky barnes fic#beefy bucky barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bodyguard au#mob au#mini series#bucky barnes fanfic#masterlist
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I want to spread a rumor about Emil cheating, make sure nobody knows it was me, then act all mad at him and punish him for it
Also ygs better square up Cherros anon and Jerry anon
-🐕🦺
ive been craving to hurt emil. rofan villain reader my beloved, a cute husband to bully and all his money 🥰
cw;; abuse, cheating, non-con (implied), gaslighting, angst
the nobles always talk, talk, talk. it's not odd for them to spread meaningless gossip. it's odd when unsubstantiated gossip makes it into the most popular newspaper in the capital and becomes the headline on everyone's lips. that took your whole allowance at the information guild but it was worth it to see your husband's face now.
the pictures were the best touch, you really should thank the guild master later. undeniable evidence of emil being intimate with one of his maids was sitting in front of him on the desk. his advisor was cautiously scolding him for ruining his reputation that he had just started to build up. the image of loving husband dashed in an instant. he started to raise his voice his hand pounding on the table in anger. that was your cue.
you threw the door of the office open with force.
"emil! are you going to explain yourself? why are all my maids talking about you ch-"
your eyes caught the images, you hadn't actually seen them yet. god they were good, they made you actually feel a bit sick to see. perfect.
".... what is that?"
you watch his face drop as all his anger melts into panic. poor bastard tries to cover up the images.
"this doesn't concern you."
"... you're fucking one of your maids?"
the accusation burns his heart and he feels like he's going to be sick. he tries to cover the images more.
"this doesn't-" thwack!
you slap him across the face as hard as you can, your wedding ring leaving an imprint on his cheek.
"everyone get out. i need to speak to my husband privately."
his servants and advisors scurried out of there, afraid of the situation about to play out, only your right hand maid stayed. she closed the behind the last person to leave, locking it for you. you let out a heavy sigh as you leaned against his desk, your hand rubbing your temples. emil didn't look up, his eyes wide but you could see there was fear in them even with his head hung.
you picked up one of the pictures, one where the maid was clearly caught in the middle of having sex with him. you'd been out of the capital a few weeks ago for an event in your home kingdom. really it was just an excuse to let the guild master do what he needed. he really exceeded your expectations. it was hard not to smile.
"i don't remember doing that, please believe me."
"oh?" you set the picture down and shot him a glare. "just because you don't remember fucking her i should forgive you? what about kissing her? what about pushing her against the window behind you?"
"i-"
he watched helplessly as you picked up one of the pictures, your hand shaking. oh, when you got your hands on the royal treasury you were going to drown the guild master in gold. you had told him about emil's hatred for letting you leave the palace grounds, how emil wouldn't even take you to the cafe you so desperately wanted to go to. and here was a picture of him in the same cafe with the maid.
"what is this?"
"i-i don't know."
you forced your face to scrunch up in anger despite how excited you were. you were going to enjoy this too much. you turned to your maid who was still standing by the door.
"do you have my riding crop?"
"yes, your highness." she presented it to you and you handed her the picture of him at the cafe in exchange.
"what would you do if you were in my position?"
"i would ask for a divorce, your highness."
"no-"
emil's poor voice cracked but all he got was another glare.
"then I suppose I'm being merciful, right?"
"you are far too kind to that cheating filth, your highness."
you walked over to stand beside emil who already looked so broken and frightened. you ran your riding crop up his cheek.
"take your shirt off. unless you would rather the divorce?"
emil's body slipped to the ground as his knees gave out underneath him. tears started to stream from his eyes like the dam had finally broken.
"please, dont leave me, please, please."
you nudged him with the riding crop.
"shirt. off."
his hands were shaking as he started to unbutton his shirt.
#replies#yandere king#🐕🦺 anon#sub yandere#yandere x male reader#yandere oc#male reader#top male reader#yandere x reader
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going back to wolves, it's all the same it's the same thing as what i said about niceness and my cunt of a father
#lol#because you see it's not really that i look for my father in these male characters that are terrible to everyone around them#or that i direct the love that's reserved for the father but has nowhere to go in real life (because rationality reins it in) towards#these characters. now that i'm writing it down maybe it really is like that HYSGXY#but it is also like‚ i have this need to exercise my ability to forgive and believe in people. and there's an affective side to it too#like to why i keep thinking about these relationships where someone transcends the abuse and is ready to receive the other even if they#come as an executioner and not a lover#there's something in the part that's beyond rationality too‚ i figure it's that my view of the world needs it‚ i need to believe it's#possible to love and change the wolfman and that i'm capable of it. we all believe certain things that make the world feel safe‚ and also#certain things that allow a (mostly) positive view of the self. this is one of my things#and hold on now‚ here's the kicker! i need to keep convincing myself there's love like that in me and acceptance in me because i need to#believe i tried. with him. that he's not like that because of me‚ because i couldn't do enough or couldn't do the right thing‚ he's like#that because of himself. if he wasn't‚ that would just shatter me#i look for it and find no forgiveness inside me for my own father but when i find it for some character (which doesn't happen by accident#of course and i'm drawn to and favor these characters and i know that) it might seem like channeling something from my life but i don't#think it is!!#considering everything it doesn't look to me like my tastes are About my father personally. i mean i feel and deduce that they aren't#they might have been shaped by my relationship with him but that's not the same thing#kata.txt
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headcanons, maybe? Muzan with a reader that is the TOTAL opposite when it comes to personality. Sweet, kind, optimistic and forgiving. things like that! feel free to add more to it, though.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ MUZAN WITH A SOFT S/O!!
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༘˚ this man is a busy man, but he always makes time for you.
༘˚ and when he can’t, he sends at least one or two people to accompany you. ༘˚ why? because you’re too naive. muzan’s words. ༘˚ it wasn’t until he found out that you almost got scammed on an obvious scam. miyazaki mango for ¥2000? what kind of crap is that??? and now, he makes sure that he’s with you whenever you go to the market. ༘˚ also, that one time when your purse got snatched and the snatcher hadn’t even stepped a foot when muzan already grabbed him by the neck and you’re just; “muziee, stopp, he’s probably just having a hard time.” and then you give the snatcher some yen from your purse and muzan’s just like ???? ༘˚ so now he gotta up his security even more, glaring at anyone who tries to woo you :((. ༘˚ man’s also got the audacity to tell the old woman to get out of her seat on the train and let you sit instead when you’re literally fine. ༘˚ he also sometimes forgets his responsibilities and routines when he’s with you, time seems to slow down, he says and wonders. ༘˚ when raining, he tends to just take his coat off and drape it on your head, or if he didn’t wear one, he’ll cover you with his whole ass body. ༘˚ and when it’s a hot ass sunny day, he’ll always make sure to keep you hydrated and ask someone to fan you when you don’t even need him to. ༘˚ your relationship is more of a butler x princess. ༘˚ he’s like following you around in his free time that everyone around you will already know where you both are. ༘˚ also, anyone who dares to verbally abuse you will literally be sent to hell. he’ll either ask someone to beat them up while you cry in his arms, or he’ll beat them up himself while you cry in his arms, but it’s always the latter. ༘˚ now, as for cuddle time, he’ll usually be late, catch you already asleep, as again, he is a busy man, so he’ll just silently scoot inside the blanket and tuck you in his arms without surprisingly waking you up, and press a soft kiss on your forehead, the last of his duties as he too, drifts off to sleep. ༘˚ he also can’t stay mad at you for too long when you do something dumb or clumsy, ‘cause your pretty little doe eyes will just stare up at him and he’ll just... soften up. ༘˚ so, in conclusion, this man becomes soft when only and only he’s with you.
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a/n: this is my first time writing a headcanon lol. i also dk if u wanted this modern era or not :((.
#📂 — ` akira’s works!#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#kny#fluff#muzan kibutsuji#kibutsuji muzan#kny muzan#kimetsu no yaiba muzan#demon slayer muzan kibutsuji#muzan kny#muzan demon slayer#kibutsuji kny#kny kibutsuji#muzan kibutsuji x reader#muzan x reader#muzan x you#muzan x y/n
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CW: so much angst but it’s mainly for villains
Tim had Ana hunt with Bruce who tells him that he’s too young to understand how the world really works, with Jason adding sneakily that he’s also a rich boy who’s never struggled before.
Naturally, Tim takes this as a challenge and decides to help and/or ‘fix’ every villains that he thinks he realistically can.
He goes big straight away with Harley Quinn. He goes to her and pretends to be asking for advice on a friend who’s in an abusive relationship, saying no one else seems to be understanding eh situation but as a score she might. He smoothly describes her and Joker and lets her rant for almost two hours before pulling the rug form under her and saying that Jason forgives his ‘friend’ for him dying by her boyfriend because he knows she was hurt just as bad when she tried to save him.
Harley takes another two months to leave the Joker and places herself in Arkham to contour her role as a doctor for her fellow maniacs.
It takes the help of several doctors but he finds the cure for Freezes wife and hands it over while telling the man that his wife probably won’t forgive him for his various murders.
Freeze understands, saves his wife anyway and accepts her request for a divorce willing, just as long as she stays alive.
He gets Arnold Wesker a real doctor who can better treat his Dissociative Identity Disorder and helps him keep Scarface out of the front by playing along as if rhetorical puppet is real and under heavy custody.
Arnold starts to live for more moments of peace than he has in years, even if there are still some really bad days.
With Poison Ivy he doesn’t actually do anything as Robin, but instead goes to her as Tim Drake and asks for her guidance on how to make his medical company and by association Wayne Industries completely eco friendly and even help to stop climate change. Tim Drake was already borderline political, he might as well lead the charge on action for climate. He does say that if Ivy does any more large scale and fatal attacks he will stop everything, which she agrees to after a week of though with her plants council.
Pamala cries for hours when she sees Tim’s plan to de-plant the entirety of a forest that she had once tried to save.
Tim doesn’t tell his family about any of this until he asks them to visit him in his city office about a gala he wants to hold, his very first, and they find Pamala and Harley helping with decoration plans and Victor and Arnold discussing how their therapy has been going together.
Bruce nearly had a heart attack.
#tim drake#tim drake centric#tim drake is a menace#tim drake is red robin#bat family#batfam#poison ivy#pamala isley#harley quinn#arnold wesker#mister freeze#victor fries#Tim Drake is angry as fuck#Bruce is a good dad he just messes up sometimes
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"Ford treated Fiddleford so bad!!" As if him treating Fidds like shit wasn't directly a product of being constantly gaslighted and abused by Bill.
I'm genuinely getting tired of people flaming Ford, but in a serious tone. Like people are acting like he's a toxic selfish man that used to put Fidd down... and... no he never did???
Ford ADMIRED Fiddleford, he TRUSTED his friend for what he described as "the project of his life" and Ford, being the most prideful man in the world, decided to ask for help because he knew how CAPABLE Fiddleford was.
When Fiddleford arrived Ford let him know how thankful he was that he was there with him, the man even took a bath and made sure to make him feel like he was at home. Ford even remembered his favorite bean brand?
When Fidd got traumatized by the gremoblin, Ford TRIED to help with what he knew. He tried to help him meditate, took days off for him, decided that they could go out and have some good time. Be mindful that this might've been the total OPPOSITE of what Bill wanted, and he still did for his friend sanity. Bill would make Ford work like CRAZY.
Also, for him it wasn't "putting him in danger!!" For him it was sharing adventures with his friend! Just like hi did with *cofcofSTANLEYcofcof*. That's love language all around.
Fiddleford could abandon the project anytime, but he didn't because he liked being there. And Ford is NOT the guilty one for Fidds creatinf the gun :/ it's nor his fault that fidd interpreted "using his creativity" in that way. Ford NEVER approved that gun.
Also, Ford noticed that RUBIK THING, HE APPREACITE HIM SO MUCH HE KNEW HIS HABITS. AND GOT CONCERNED RIGHT AHEAD.
"B-but he free Frilliam!" The portal was close, did you all READ how much gaslighted Ford was at that point? He didn't free it because "ugh i don't care about this shitty axolotl" but because Bill started to freak out and yell at him to get rid of it. Ford wrote "A friend" with a heart in the title??? Wdym he didn't appreciate it aaaagh
If Stanley took the diaries (i don't like this universe because...stanley:() he WOULD have looked for Fiddleford, they'd have made the Institute of Oddology, he'd have shared his success... with the man that helped him the most.
TBOB SPOILERS AHEAD
He got sad when Fiddleford told him he was gonna get back home to spent time with his family, he PLANNED holidays with him. Even if he DIDN'T like holidays.
He took a day off just to make him happy after his atrocious christmas party, he USED RESOURCES that as you know ford is the most practical mam in the world JUST to decorate the portal as a tree and make Fiddleford happy.
And that atuff of "h-he doesn't appreaciated Fiddleford gifts!" IS SO DUMB OMG, he wore the gloves in the snow and was incredibly thankful about them. When BILL that dumbass triangle pretty much LACERATED his hands, he used Fiddleford gloves as a way to hide those scars, and in a sense, probably to comfort himself because he was ALONE.
I think that was the reason of Fiddleford fast forgiveness, not only because he's a sweet heart, but because after fighting with Bill i think he noticed how BIG was the monster torturing his "partner".
And after all of this i'm not trying to excuse Ford treating him poorly and not listening to him in time
BUT FORD IS NOT A PERFECT VICTIM
Even if i believe he wasn't "the" (at least only) reason of Fiddleford becoming crazy, i know it could have been better for him and he could have avoided so much trauma. But can we please stop seeing Ford as a selfish, evil mad scientist and start seing him as a victim... of a terribly abusive relationship that checks in for all types of domestic abuse... please!!! Ford is not a perfect VICTIM Can we blame Bill!!!
All this rant is because there's certain ship... which i kinda like, but i just HATE HATE HATE the interpretation and how much they put Ford as a villian on it omg
Edit: fixed the use of word narcissism, since it might've been ableist! Replaced with words that actually relate to what i intended to say, instead of referencing a personality disorder
#gravity falls#fiddauthor#fiddleauthor#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#fordford#fordsquared#book of bill
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