#and they are also very few specific in what they want

[frownyalfred]

"ok ok I'll shut up now" NOOOOO😭😭 you can't paint this image and then stop, please keep talking about Lois and Selina

"Looks like it's just me today," Selina said, giving Lois a wave as she descended the lobby steps. "Bruce got held up on some business. Sorry."

Lois raised an eyebrow. "Business, or business?"

"Business," Selina said, sounding amused. She was dressed down in a slip of a dress and large cat-eye sunglasses. Lois envied how easy she made it look; her own outfit was a hastily-tied oversized linen shirt and a pair of jeans she was already regretting.

"Funny," Lois said, "Clark also got called in a little while ago. More business."

"I figured," Selina said, eyeing her over her sunglasses. There was an awkward beat of silence. "So."

"So," Lois repeated.

"I don't usually like it when the men assume their girlfriends just magically get along," Selina said. She shrugged one thin shoulder. "But I have a feeling we will anyway."

Lois was secretly a little touched by that. And a little wary. There was still a part of her that couldn't believe Catwoman herself was grinning at her. And she regularly had drinks with Batman.

"So you're saying we should ditch the tour," Lois said, hoisting her tote bag up.

"I could be convinced," Selina replied, voice pitched a little lower. "You know, I heard this place has a nice spa."

"Oh," Lois said, "While I love leaning into the girlfriends-on-vacation stereotype, I don't think--"

"Don't think." Selina held up a slim black card to the light. "I snagged this from Bruce. It's on me. Or, more specifically, him."

Lois eyed the card in disbelief. "Really?"

"Really."

"Great," Lois said, making up her mind. "Let's go reinforce some stereotypes."

(line break)

Selina held out the champagne bottle, readjusting the napkin around the label. "Want some more?"

"If I have any more, I'm not getting off this chaise lounge," Lois said. When Selina's lips pursed, she held out her glass anyway. "Fine. It's not surprising, but -- you're a bit of a bad influence."

"Only with friends," Selina said, grinning. She topped off her own glass, sliding back onto the lounger next to Lois. "I'm guessing that means you don't want to go swimming?"

Lois glanced down at her swimsuit. They were dressed for it, after all. "I mean. Maybe after lunch?"

"Yeah," Selina said. She closed her eyes, stretching back on the lounger. Just like a -- "I'm a little sore. Maybe we'll give it a few hours."

Lois stared despite herself, noting the bruises across Selina's hips. "I like your bikini."

"Thanks," Selina said, eyes snapping open. "Bruce picked it out."

"Bruce's contributions are pretty obvious," Lois said, her tongue getting away from her. It was the three glasses of champagne.

"Heh," Selina said, catching her meaning immediately. Her fingers skimmed the strings of her bikini. "So that's not your thing?"

Lois flushed a little. "It's not. Not our thing."

"Is it your thing?" Selina asked, lips quirking.

"Clark is a gentleman," Lois defended, praying her husband was currently too busy with some galactic event to overhear. "And he's...very concerned about his strength."

"Mhm," Selina said, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. "I can see how that would be something you'd have to work around."

"What about you?" Lois deflected.

"What about what?" Selina asked, batting her eyelashes. Lois rolled her eyes, taking another sip from her glass.

"Is strength a concern?"

"Only in a good way," Selina purred. She downed her glass, waving at Lois as she swallowed. "But I get what you mean. Obviously scaled down a little. Bruce could snap me like a twig if he really wanted."

"Yeah," Lois said, trying not to imagine that in too much detail. "That's generally what Clark's worried about."

"But there's benefits," Selina said, clearly fishing. Lois flushed again, but held her gaze.

"Sure."

"Like...?"

Lois raised a brow. She could see how that expression would work on most people. Most, being the keyword. "I don't give up my sources that easily."

"What about a trade?" Selina asked.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

when people (esp lower support needs ppl) talk about how autism “spectrum” as in like rainbow color instead of light to dark or green to red single gradient mild to severe n about spiky profile n like. always make me wince.

“ehhhh— no—ye—but no—but also yes—”

n when have this reaction people expect condense that into binary “yes” “no”, n in this case “must” be say “no”

but that not… really right

what be call “spiky profile” exist, right? like pretty common in online autism community, for example, someone struggle with like, put thought into word lot more than what most be expect for someone verbal & high vocab & bubbly & stuff.

so if ask that person rate struggles 1-5, 5 be most difficult 1 be least difficult, may rate like “word communication” (can’t think of word rn) as 5, because they exist in nondisabled neurotypical world so keep be compare to nondisabled NT people n so feel extreme out of place. n let’s say they not struggle with hyper & hyposensitivity as much, so rate as 2.

but what 5 mean n what 2 mean? is struggle be define as how distressed by it? or by more objective amount skill you have in that area?

another autistic person minimally verbal, in both speech & language can only use like, 10 words on regular basis. n at best can only combine 2 words together. but they have very violent n distressing meltdowns so they n caregivers rate meltdown n aggression as 5 n look at language, n go, well struggle lots, but like, meltdown most distressing symptom, n speech language not compare, n their circle of people is people at self contained moderate/severe special education classroom where so many kids fully nonverbal, so hey at least can speak n language some right? so rate it 4.

is first person’s 5 more struggle than second person’s 4 then? after all, 5 greater than 4, right? (rhetorical question)

do outside people get bump first person’s 5 down to 2 or 1 then? even tho they very distress by it in world where expect 0?

what 5 mean? what 2 mean?

.

another example. autistic person diagnose “severe” “profound”

they do not speak by mouth, n also have extreme struggle in use language, so both speech language rate 5. they have big n small routine from which bowl use which brand of specific food eat at what time sit where to big day routines, and meltdown whenever any “smallest” change happen, so that also be 5. they extremely sensitive to touch to sound to clothes to texture to point scream when touch n have feeding tube bc not eat enough malnutrition bc food texture n only have like 3 clothes wear n refuse throw them away will meltdown if do bc change, so that also be 5. they not look at people (not to mention eye contact) not respond to name when called no joint attention, so 5 on reciprocity. can go on n on, but u get point.

n when say they scream n meltdown do mean that n they broken walls n object n furniture n bones n bled n had to ER n had permanent body damage from meltdowns. so also 5.

if put on that rainbow circle chart, would be whole circle.

is not gotcha. these people exist. it not bad negative insult say they exist.

n maybe still too “extreme” of example, but there even more people who maybe few of these, 1, 2, 3, be rate lower number, but majority still be rate 5.

maybe their “better skill” still rate at 4. or maybe even still enough to be 5 - just slightly less intense 5.

know people like this.

in this rainbow spectrum circle wheel. if we go by “amount skill you have/not have in compare to all autistic people”. not all, but many people diagnose “severe” “profound” “low functioning” “high support needs” would have majority 4-5s.

.

want be clear that not saying like, spiky profile false. wrong. not exist. or that linear better, more accurate, that we should go back to it.

n also not say rainbow spectrum circle wheel not have place in high support needs autistic people lives. or that all high support needs autistic people lall struggle with things in different parts (speech, language, cues, restricted interest, repetitive behaviors, etc) all same amount all extremely.

it’s just that. you all don’t understand high support needs people, or people diagnose level 3, “severe” “profound” “low functioning.” n create new way measure autism not going make that magically better or hide that fact.

rainbow spectrum circle wheel can be better system. except a lot you all using it to erase for lack better word, “severity” (or “sheer amount”?) of high support needs struggles, you use that wheel not to talk about how all autism dynamic. you actually use that to erase autism dynamic different. you use it to make us all same. you use it to try get close to us in not accurate way.

autism dynamic different only allowed if it for you.

but whenever we say hey we also pretty different you get mad because that invalidating your struggles, or whatever.

all autistic people similar but this not it.

rainbow circle wheel have use n purpose n improve but this not it.

[invested-in-your-future]

The Portrayal of DID in Ave Mujica

(I have to preface this by saying that I am approaching this from a narrative writing standpoint and from my own personal delving into psychology overall. The subject topic is complex and the medical knowledge on it is ever-evolving, so if any of my notions are outdated, I am very, so very sorry.)

(I also understand that the topic of trauma and DID might be a triggering experience to some people, so caution is advised.)

(The discussion will also have open spoilers about the show and as such is tagged with spoiler tags.)

If there's one thing I would never expect when watching a music show, it is for it to turn into a deeply introspective psychological drama about flawed characters grappling with anxiety, mental wellness, toxicity and so on.

I did something like this a few times before and I can't help but want to explore and convey my thoughts on the character writing and handling of dissociative identity disorder within this show.

Now, Ave Mujica's predecessor, MYGO (to which Ave Mujica is a sequel), did play with the portrayal of neurodivergent-coded traits and still remains one of the best attempts at that overall, but a lot of that could be written off as subtextual.

So Ave Mujica portraying DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) in a textual way comes as a surprise.

What's even bigger surprise is the lengths the show goes to make the portrayal feel authentic and how up-to-date the overall knowledge within the writing is.

Now, for starters, some explanation is needed.

What is DID?

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a type of dissociative disorder that usually develops in early childhood due to traumatic experiences—most often emotional or physical abuse or neglect.

The conditions within the environment lead to a child failing to integrate into a unified identity due to compartmentalizing their trauma and various other facotrs. In layman's terms, "distancing themselves" from their own psychological trauma.

The key aspect to understand is dissociation, a concept that is crucial to DID but NOT limited to it. To quickly explain what dissociation is—to handle specific amounts of stress and trauma, the brain copes with the information via "disconnecting" one's sense of self from perception.

Dissociation is actually a very common reaction to trauma and can manifest in different ways without it being DID (hence dissociative disorders being a whole branch of stuff)—like, for example, dissociative amnesia, where a person might forget selective memories associated with a traumatic event.

Grief tends to sometimes lead to dissociation, especially during the early phases, too.

Another common example is depersonalization, which involves "perceiving yourself as an out-of-body observer," which usually involves an altered perception of time too, with time slowing down or speeding up or the concept of time losing meaning.

Both of those can manifest as part of DID, but can also exist separately—for example, derealization and depersonalization can be symptomatic of PTSD.

DID in itself as a concept is about a person at a young age failing to integrate into "one".

The way a child's growth goes is that the mind reintegrates and parses those their experiences and traumas shaping their identity. Experiencing dissociation doesn't instantly mean DID, because dissociation by itself is a common trauma-parsing mechanism, as I said before. A child can experience trauma, neglect, or abuse without it leading to DID.

In the case of DID, the child fails to integrate, the trauma/abuse/neglect instead leading to compartmentalized elements working together—a system.

It's important to note that trauma doesn't create alters, as it's been thought for a while. It's not something fake or "split" or "created"—the system is all the alters as equally "real"; it's just that alters themselves might have different traits of the identity.

While alters are identities, they aren't necessarily separate people—they are a system. Alters might differ from each other, and have separate memories, and skill sets, but every alter is part of that system. Alters don't appear out of thin air as separate entities and it's better to view a system as an entity comprised of equally real alters functioning together, with the "primary" one (the one that's out for the longest periods) being often called "the host".

Thus, alters can be subtle and almost indistinguishable from the host. And even if they have distinct personality traits, most alters would have an awareness to "fit in" by not standing out, instead internalizing them and trying to mimic the host personality (because it's "normal").

There isn't a secret evil spirit or a ninja assassin living in a person—portrayals like that (ex: the movie "Split") are extremely harmful because they perpetuate a toxic stereotype that just isn't true.

There's no "real personality and fake personalities" and so on. The current understanding of DID is a child at a young age, due to internal and external factors, failing to integrate into a singular identity.

Now depending on how young we talking, the person might have had a personality-before or might not have at the point DID develops, but the concept of "original/core" personalities is currently considered antiquated.

And just like alters aren't "created," they can't "die" either.

Now that this covered basic terminology and information, I can actually discuss about the show itself.

First, let's talk about Mutsumi and her character.

Mutsumi

From the very first appearance in MYGO, the characterization conveys the personality of someone who is stoic, internalizes her emotions, and has trouble communicating with others—her first spoken line in the show is ambiguous.

Mutsumi is a stoic, shy student who had been in a band together with her childhood friend, Sakiko, and three other people. The band imploded after her childhood friend suffered from circumstances she felt she couldn't share with others and disbanded it.

The character is often coerced or influenced by others to do things for them and plays more of the role of an observer.

It becomes quickly obvious that Mutsumi herself is extremely uncomfortable with this role—not only blaming herself for the band's breakup but also feeling awful about her friends' mental well-being afterward.

Meanwhile, Mutsumi's childhood is no better—as a child of a star actress and a famous comedian, Mutsumi didn't have what one could call "a normal childhood.". Her parents had surrounded her with wealth but at the same time had adopted a completely hands-off approach, which led to her feeling neglected and alone. For example, she doesn't even call her mother and father dad/mom/father/mother/etc., instead opting to refer to them by their first names like friends would do. The mother is also enamored with being an actress—for example, one of the things she would offer her daughter's friends visiting would be to watch movies she starred in.

The show makes sure the audience gets a sense of the scale of her home life—a luxurious house filled with servants where her mother is a star rather than a parent.

What's more, due to the circumstances of her parents she's constantly compared to her mother and father and their talents, with expectations placed to follow in their footsteps. This ends up with her feeling like she has nothing of her own in her life—whatever praise or expectation is placed upon her ties to The Star Actress and The Comedian instead of who Mutsumi is as a person.

As a result, she values the bonds she has formed with other people a lot. She cares deeply about her childhood friend (whose family circumstances are the actual reason for the band breakup), and she cares about the one other bandmate who had kept in touch with her (the person who is mainly keeping in touch due to selfish goals though).

So when her friend decides to create a new band, Mutsumi feels responsible to support her and help her.

Unfortunately for her, her friend is going through a lot emotionally, and the entirety of the new band consists of a lot of openly toxic individuals.

Thus she is placed into a situation where she has to juggle the neglect and distance she feels at home, the expectations her suffering friend is placing upon her, the expectations the world has for her due to her parents, and the pressure from being a member of an extremely popular band—a tough deal for someone who from the beginning had trouble expressing herself.

But hey, at least since the band has the whole pseudo-visual-kei thing going for it, she will be able to wear a mask.

Which is where her journey through Ave Mujica starts.

Ave Mujica and DID

The first notable thing we see happen is her struggling with an interview, reinforcing the idea that she has trouble expressing herself.

Ironically, this is another case where someone else ends up speaking over her.

The episode ends with the first notable trigger for her emotional state worsening, which is one of the bandmates going off-script and ruining the whole "secret identity" thing by unmasking them live on stage to an audience of hundreds if not thousands.

Considering her character set-up and her issues and insecurities, this is about the second most terrifying thing to Mutsumi in the entire world.

As the bandmates argue and blame each other over what had happened, the show then proceeds to take time to showcase how the pressure and the stress of what had happened affect her psychologically and emotionally.

This is a character who had been defined by the impostor syndrome caused by the neglect of her parents and comparisons society draws to them due to their fame—essentially getting doxxed live to an audience of hundreds if not more.

The show then dedicates its runtime to showcase how this character is slowly ground down by the building up pressure and anxiety, the dam breaking due to the traumatic experience—especially when she flubs an interview, causing even more tension and pressure.

"Don't speak out; play your role; don't make mistakes; be perfect or people will hate you."

The show makes sure to slowly build tension and highlight the growing anxiety and the increasing levels of dissociation the character experiences from the world around her as she goes through interviews and photoshoots—interactions that only worsen her mental state by anxiously comparing her to her parents or reminding her of the mistakes she made, as numbness overtakes her.

The anxiety, the stress, and the tension within all build to the point of insomnia as the character retreats to the one place she was implied to feel safe in throughout the show—the rehearsal room at home where she would spend time alone playing her guitar.

Because, again, as implied, her parents don't exactly pay any attention to her beyond showering her with wealth, and everyone else views her as an extension of her parents. So for her this is one spot that is truly hers.

And even that spot has now been taken because her mother had offered the whole band to use the rehearsal room. It's no longer just her space.

Depression, anxiety, and insomnia are but a few of the things that both influence and happen as a result of dissociative disorders

The show highlights the character's worsening physical state due to her deteriorating emotional state, to the point that the character has trouble walking down the hallway.

More importantly, the people around her—her band, her parents, her friend—they don't realize that. If anything, they put more pressure on her shoulders, they tell her to not stand out, to play the role to perfection, to not ruin the performance or further ruin the band's reputation.

The pressure and tension build to the point where the show depicts the first on-screen dissociative episode for the character.

Experiencing dissociation from gazing into a mirror is actually pretty common, as is the idea of recognizing your reflection as someone else. It's not limited to DID, however. There are common experiences where people suffering from anxiety might feel a sensation that they are looking at a stranger for example. Gender dysphoria might also elicit a feeling that the reflection is "wrong".

The show also showcases another common DID symptom: losing large chunks of time as the character finds themselves jumping from the changing room to the middle of the scene without knowing how she had gotten there.

The scene also involves the character witnessing(and more importantly, recognizing) multiple of herself. While the most common way for the host personality to perceive alters is auditory, visual perception is also possible, as are all other senses.

The series of visual hallucinations ends with a character making a mistake live on stage and experiencing a complete dissociation as she slumps onto a stage prop chair motionless like a doll with strings cut..

Essentially, this is a moment when no one is in control. The host personality has experienced complete dissociation, but neither the host personality nor any alters are "behind the wheel.".

Now, to this point, the idea is still subtextual (barely) in that the story shows but doesn't tell what is happening.

However, what comes after this grows more and more textual.

The dissociative episode and perceiving multiple of "you" leads to the character experiencing even more vivid hallucinations.

This time, however, the character directly acknowledges and converses with an alter within her mind-space.

Having a healthy and proper way of communication between host and alter(s) is actually crucial to functioning as a healthy system and living with DID.

Most of the conversation, however, happens within mind-space, as the character relives her past experiences and memories as if she were watching them as an observer, with the alter narrating her life's story.

The mindscape is often metaphorical so the alters don't necessarily always appear human, but they always would be "humanlike", because the brain perceives the alter as alive. The form alters might take within the mindscape is often dependent on the kind of trauma a person has suffered.

The story as narrated by the alter establishes the reason behind why the character values playing the guitar so much—because it's something truly hers, something she had learned on her own and something that is in no way "because of her parents".

But she feels like she's not good enough.

She can't be expressive, she has trouble communicating her emotions, and thus her playing skills, while technically perfect, lack that self-expression capability.

She can't make the guitar sing.

And thus due to impostor syndrome, she concludes that being "wrong" somehow is why the bands she gets involved with on her friend's behalf keep breaking up—why her best friend keeps suffering.

A person suffering from anxiety, trauma, and neglect, someone who has issues expressing themselves, would often wrestle with issues of self-hate and depression and Mutsumi is no different there.

Experiencing one's own memories from an outside perspective, as if watching a movie or seeing themselves from outside observing something is once again quite common in terms of DID.

As the toxicity within the band keeps growing and her friend keeps suffering, the character's anxiety and stress build further, the auditory and visual hallucinations intensifying.

Just a reminder that while this goes on and Mutsumi slips in and out of her mindscape, her best friend, her parents, and the whole band are completely unaware of any of this. In their minds, the dissociative episode she had experienced was "her acting out" or "acting" or just being "closed-off".

This is the first case where the alter has a direct and open back-and-forth conversation with the Mutsumi, rather than narrating her life like before.

Alters within a system often end up serving specific purposes—because they are more comfortable doing something the host alter isn't. Sometimes it's a single memory the host can't parse or a personality trait.

The alter in question showcases worry for the host's well-being—A Protector.

The alter represents worry over the character's own well-being and where the current stressful self-destructive path may lead.

(Important Note: I do feel the need to say that alters do not neatly fall into classifications and there's not some "class system" for Alters that is always true. There are many complex reasons for how alters within a system can be and there's a lot still unknown, as is true with the overall human mind. Since alters aren't created or "split", an alter merely providing a specific role doesn't mean they exist solely for that role, as it becomes clear with the case within the show too.)

The alter believes that if Mutsumi stays with the band, she will experience the full brunt of the band imploding and the alter also perceives Sakiko as someone who is not healthy for the character—toxic even.

Mutsumi however reaffirms that she wants to support her friend no matter what, to always be by her side.

Eventually, however, as the days go on, and the band keeps arguing, the character ends up tying together what is happening now with a traumatic event in her past—her best friend's previous band imploding in a similar fashion.

The character draws parallels between the two situations—between two traumatic experiences—which further worsens their wellbeing.

As a side note I do love Dutch-angles and how universal they are in conveying things going wrong somehow or being unsettling.

All of this leads to the final straw—a confrontation with her best friend, where the character ends up being accused of "not being good enough" and "not supporting her like a friend should".

Why can't she smile or talk or be more social?

Now I do feel the need to interject and say that while her friend is completely in the wrong here, things aren't that simple. Sakiko also has her own issues, depression, traumatic experiences, and absolutely horrible life—all of which she is unable to properly parse and thus turns towards alienating everyone who cares for her rather than showing how hurt she is.

This is the final straw, the moment where the anxiety and traumatic experiences build up to the point where the host just wants to escape.

A moment where subconsciously she'd want to turn to the someone for help.

This is also the first time this alter is properly given a name (one of Mutsumi's stage persona, Mortis).

The scene is eerie and haunting, but it has to be—sleeping is as close as the situation can get to ego-death.

(Because, like I mentioned before, parts of a system can't "die".)

Once the stage play starts, both the bandmates and the audience are treated to a performance that is unlike the character's usual self.

Mortis fulfills their role, shielding the host from a traumatic experience, taking it up to themselves to do something the host would suffer trying to do. In this case, it's to pretend everything is fine and play the role her best friend expects her in the band—to smile and to talk and to help keep it together.

From this point on, Mortis is in control.

She smiles, is social, and delivers efficient jokes to lighten up the mood—she pays attention to the wellbeing of other bandmates and is extremely expressive.

It needs to be noted that the bandmates and parents STILL have no clue. The other bandmembers barely knew her for a month so they don't really see anything wrong with the change in how the character behaves. If anything they see it as an improvement.

Mortis is doing everything they can to do what the host was too anxious to—to be a perfect actress, supportive and caring for the band, and nurturing an environment where the band stays together.

There are a few problems, however.

For starters, Mortis doesn't know how to play guitar, at all.

It's a skill and talent the host alter developed and as far as systems go not everyone would have access to the same memories, experiences, or skills and it's possible for alters to develop different skills than the host too.

And second of all, as the one who wants to protect Mutsumi, Mortis feels disdain towards the main source of Mutsumi's anxiety and depression—her childhood friend, Sakiko.

In Mortis's eyes, the dissociative episode the host suffered and the extreme amounts of anxiety and stress are all because of Sakiko.

This comes to a head in a scene where Sakiko, after spending a whole episode feeling uneasy because of how different Mutsumi is now, decides to have a one-on-one talk with her about what's going on.

It's in this scene that the show textually acknowledges DID.

What finally tips her off is that Mortis refers to her differently than Mutsumi would.

This scene also provides a direct affirmation of the fact that parts of a system don't "die"—they might however go dormant and "fall asleep".

As a side note, the scene does contain ominous framing, but it's mainly due to it mainly being from Sakiko's POV. The writing, however, makes it extremely clear Mortis isn't a villain as much as someone protective of Mutsumi and spiteful towards Sakiko due to her neglect of her best friend—and that Mortis isn't entirely wrong to blame Sakiko for this.

This is kind of surprising because that's pretty "new" information as far as the medical topic of DID goes. People used to think alters could die due to a faulty understanding of the idea stemming from the older now debunked theories as I mentioned before.

The reality, however, is, that alters aren't really something "different" nor "created/split"—a system has the same brain, and the same biological functions, which means the brain can't perceive itself as "dead".

DID develops at a young age due to neglect trauma or abuse. It doesn't suddenly happen because of some extremely tragic event as fiction often depicts it (the tragic events however can cause the host to dissociate and push specific trauma onto an existing alter).

The show, once again, acknowledges that too!

The scene basically spells out that Mutsumi's DID developed at a young age as a result of parental neglect and anxiety. Note that the show doesn't imply Mortis "having been created" ever.

Mortis basically spells out what Mutsumi wouldn't have been able to say—she speaks of the stress the band had caused Mutsumi and how Sakiko's neglect and toxicity ended up causing her to retreat into sleep.

(Once again have to add this: Alters can differ in terms of their thoughts, species, speech patterns, gender orientation, etc. Alters even can have different heart rates, eyesight, and how they respond to allergies.)

Mortis is resolute to protect Mutsumi and her band, but she's also a child—one that can be very blunt in the ways Mutsumi isn't and also naive in the way Mutsumi wouldn't be.

She can't help but detest Sakiko for her toxicity and the trauma it has caused.

She bluntly states that Mutsumi ceding control to Mortis is Sakiko's fault and if Sakiko keeps acting this way instead of actually parsing her problems, Mutsumi might never return.

Mortis isn't merely "a role protecting someone". She is childish and she is, in a way spiteful and she has an opinion about Sakiko that Mutsumi might not agree with.

There's a struggle there because the dissociation between the two alters is too big—there's a lack of communication as once Mutsumi gets to interact with Mortis again, the two are talking past each other.

Mortis is way too focused on what Sakiko had caused and on how it had hurt Mutsumi, while Mutsumi is still ever so focused on how much Sakiko herself is hurting and ignoring her own problems.

It's somewhat common for alters to communicate their memories or experiences with each other via mindspace creating a filing system of sorts as some described it as a computer with a search bar or a cabinet.

The show makes sure to highlight the dissociation currently between Mutsumi and Mortis and the communication between the alters having been strained due to conflicting motives and viewpoints on their mental wellness and how much a person Mutsumi cares about affected it.

The show also doesn't shy away from the problematic treatment of mental wellness in the world and how often it gets sensationalized.

The first major example is the public's reaction to Mutsumi dissociating on the stage—the band is flooded with demands to REPEAT that "performance". In fact multiple show appearances and stuff set that as a condition for the band appearing at all. To the public there's not even an ounce of worry that this was something real—to it couldn't have been anything but acting. Which is actually a common toxic reaction towards systems in the real world. Even within the Ave Mujica tags there were people screaming how "Mutsumi must be just pretending to have it".

Even one of Mutsumi's teammates mistakes her dissociation and Mortis for masterclass acting talent and is STILL haunted and feeling inferior by it even after she KNOWS what actually happened.

The characters also use the outdated term "split personality" when conversing about Mutsumi and Mortis and a majority of the cast doesn't "get" what this is and are way out of their depths—Sakiko blames herself for "having broken" Mutsumi, Umiri and Uika just completely don't care, Nyamu feels insecure and the MYGO cast are also just as out of their depths even though they display far more empathy.

It's a sheer contrast to one character who has no direct connection to Mutsumi but is known for her blunt nature and ends up recognizing both Mutsumi and Mortis as individuals (even asking for the name of each alter when they exchange introductions) and befriending Mortis.

Likewise, when Mutsumi and Mortis end up arguing over their motives and goals and falling down the stairs, the first reactions the onlookers have is to...snap photos and film the situation because it's a famous person and maybe this is some performance too! A completely cold and cruel audience of observes that keeps snapping photos even as another characters desperately begs them not to film this.

And of course, it gets shared and goes viral on social media.

Overall so far the representation of DID and overall mental-wellness issues in Ave Mujica (and MYGO) have been the series highlight and I certainly hope the show continues to treat the subject matter with care and research needed as it further delves into the character.

Another highlight is the variety of issues and insecurities the other main characters are facing—from Sakiko's complex traumatic experiences and implied self-harm tendencies, to Uika's obsession, to Nyamu's insecurities to Umiri's complete emotional disconnect and compartmentalizing to the point others see her as lacking empathy (even though that last scene implies it's not completely true, so we don't really know what's exactly going on there).

Ave Mujica, if it lands, is shaping up to be one of the best shows in a while when it comes to character introspection and psychological themes.

[official-megumin]

alright

So I have seen a few people talking about uterus transplants on this site and other places.

And other than the obvious(transphobes) not fully understanding how it works, it seems to be treated as almost some magical miracle treatment we'll get one day, which almost certainly boils down to how taboo the topic is.

I have personally read up on it as much as I can(specifically to shut up transphobes spreading misinformation)

So I felt like I had to set some reasonable expectations so we don't all set ourselves up for disaster once the technology fully arrives(which it will soon)

So first off, yes. Trans women and other AMAB people will be able to get uterus transplants. There isn't some mystical "maleness" that prevents trans women from being able to have a uterus transplanted into them or from being able to get pregnant. But it does have its limits.

This technology has already been successfully performed on cis women(note plural), and there is no reason to believe it won't be able to be done on a trans woman sooner rather than later(I am no expert, but I would still hazard to guess that the biggest hurdle for that right now is public perception and bigotry)

This means that we also more or less know what it will be able to accomplish.

There has been at least one successful pregnancy borne to term with a transplanted uterus, so yes. Trans women will be able to bear children sometime in the near future.

But, there is a big caveat. You won't be able to keep the transplanted uterus post pregnancy. This has nothing to do with AGAB or anything like that, it is the exact same thing for cis women.

Unfortunately organ transplants are very complex, and even in other less particular organs, you still need to be on immunosuppressants for the rest of your life to prevent your body from attacking the new organ.

The same sadly also goes for a uterus. You will essentially only be able to have a uterus transplanted into you, go through your pregnancy whilst immunosuppressants, and then get a hysterectomy when you've given birth.

Again, this complications arrise with any organ transplant, so it has NOTHING to do with trans women not being "real women" and anyone trying to tell you that a uterus would "wither away in a male body" is lying to you.

A womb doesn't need two x chromosomes to form to begin with. There are plenty of intersex AMAB people born with uteri(myself most likely included).

I don't mean to crush any dreams or bring down the mood, I just don't want anyone to stay waiting for some ideal future that likely never will arrive.

I can't predict the future, I am not a doctor or biologist. I can't say for sure that we will never develop a technology that removes all the risk of organ transplants. It is also very possible that we develop a way to make you grow a uterus or other organs in your body after being born, or even just lab grown organs using your own DNA.

All I know is how organ transplants work currently and for the forseeable future.

[jokeroutsubs]

Joker Out Subs: Translating a Band

One of our Slovene members, Breda Hribernik (IG fabriconmyhead), wrote an article about JokerOutSubs in the students' magazine ENgLIST.

From our organisation and translation process to translation choices, Breda explained about JokerOutSubs from a linguistic perspective.

Thank you Breda, we're very proud to have you on our team! ❤️

Article below the cut 👇

There are events in life you expect to happen as if they were a part of a ‘Lifetime Bingo’. Scraping your knee as a child. Having a best friend. Going to college. But I never thought I would ever be attending a concert in London where a crowd of 2,000 would be loudly singing along to songs in my native language, Slovene. And yet that was exactly what I experienced during my Joker Out concert in London.

Picture this: London, early April 2024. Day four of my solo journey to England. After queuing for several hours (something that would never happen in Slovenia), me and a few of the friends I met just a few hours ago finally made it into the venue: Shepherd’s Bush Empire, built in 1903 as a music hall. The high ceiling and intricate wall decor closely reminded me of the Slovenian National Theatre Drama in Ljubljana, which got us all even more excited for the concert. And after the two opening acts, the main performers finally

made it onto the stage.

The band, consisting of Bojan Cvjetićanin, Jan Peteh, Jure Maček, Kris Guštin and Nace Jordan, gained international stardom during and after their Eurovision days. At the time of writing this article, the band had completed two successful tours in Europe, with a busy festival schedule awaiting them throughout the summer. This kind of global recognition is rather unexpected for a Slovene band. However, because most of the band's content is in Slovene, especially their older works, the language barrier can present a problem for foreign fans. This is where JokerOutSubs comes in.

1. General

Joker Out Subs (hereon JOS) is a fan-organised translation group. While translating celebrity content is nothing new, it mostly consists of individuals who translate short clips and post them online. Such translations have, in the past, been seen with K-pop musicians. JOS, on the other hand, is a group consisting of several members from all around the globe, me included. Alongside speaking Slovene, our members also speak languages ranging from Finnish to Japanese. The fan-translation group has one main goal: translating content.

The group was founded in May 2023, after we discovered a desire for translated content. Since then, the group whose main goal is translating different content in connection with the band has only grown and expanded. While a great deal of work is still done by speakers of Slovene, JOS would not be as successful without its other members. Social media managers, makers of closed captions, and editors are just a few people who really bring our translations to life.

2. Translation Process

Our translations have a large audience and, in some cases, they are even used by Slovene language teachers around Europe. We make sure to hold them up to a high standard: they are checked multiple times. Alongside our work being grammatically correct, we also want to ensure that the language remains neutral, in order not to implicate anything which does not occur in the original.

Communication-wise, we have a Discord server with many separate channels (for the various languages) and threads. We use Google Spreadsheets specifically for our translations, as using columns is a manageable approach. Column one contains the original text, column two has the translation. The following columns are reserved for comments.

Our translations are not always as simple as translating a written text. A great deal of the content we translate are either videos, radio interviews or podcasts. With those, creating a transcript is the first step. For videos, we also have to create closed captions with timings. Both of these processes are rather tedious, but the end result is a text ready for translation.

Once the first translation is finished, it is checked by a fellow member. For translations from Slovene, this will be a fellow Native Slovene speaker. The reviewer will correct the spelling, punctuation, and grammar of the translation in the form of comments, which the original translator can then approve or dismiss.

Still, the translation is not done yet. Our Native English speakers conduct the final correction of the text. This is mostly to find mistakes that have previously been missed, but English speakers also reshape the piece to make it sound as authentic as possible. The original translator again has a say in these corrections. Finally, our social media team publishes the piece.

Original translation

Check by Slovene speaker

Check by original translator

Check by native English speaker

Check by original translator

3. Translation Problems

As most of us can remember from our classes, translation is rarely done without a hitch. But when one is translating the work of five men in their twenties with diverse linguistic backgrounds (two members of the band grew up in bilingual environments), the work becomes even more difficult. And when these men use slang in their speech, the skills acquired in one’s university translation classes are almost useless.

One such example is an interview with the radio station Val 202, in which the lead singer Bojan Cvjetićanin talks about one of their departed band-members, Martin Jurkovič (who left the band in autumn of 2022 in order to pursue his studies). Bojan wanted to express that Martin was very successful in his field and therefore used the phrase ‘trga gate’ which does not have an equivalent in English. ‘Ripping underwear’ does not exactly mean ‘to be successful’ in English. As we wished to retain some of the vulgarity of the original, we translated the phrase as ‘kicking ass’.

“…. še je njemu v njegovih osebnih sferah odprlo v najboljši možni smeri, in tako kot rečemo mi, trga gate.”¹

… his personal spheres have taken off in the best possible way, and he is, as we say, kicking ass.

¹Joker Out between dreams and reality (Val 202: Music 202) - Part 1: Bojan and Jan

Alongside slang, dialects can also pose a challenge. As a promotion for their concert in Maribor, the band members organised a giveaway for two tickets. All the participants had to do was write down one of their favourite words from the Styrian dialect, before the band members shared their own. Jure Maček, the drummer of the band, said that his favourite word was ‘Štbljc’, which means ‘bedroom’. It would be nearly impossible to translate the word into English and somehow retain its Styrian colouring. In this case, we retained the original in the captions of the video and added a note with its meaning in English elsewhere. These culture-specific notes need to be done often.

“Štjblc je po moje blj.”²

‘Štjblc’* is better.

*bedroom

²[ENG SUB] 🇸🇮DanSlovenščine🇸🇮 A1 vajb: Joker Out share their favourite Styrian word!

Occasionally, Ljubljanščina, or the dialect spoken in Ljubljana, can also cause problems. In a video for A1 VAJB, Kris Guštin (one the guitarists) mentioned that his dream date would include the castle in Ljubljana, which is the city he grew up in. After listing the location, he said: “pa gasa.” Most of the JOS members understood ‘gasa’ as a narrow street, but it was clearly not used in this context here. After some consultation, we translated it as follows:

“Ljubljanski grad pa gasa.”³

Ljubljana Castle and away we go.

³[ENG SUB] What is your dream date? for A1 vajb

Slang and dialects are not the only elements causing us trouble, as the band members also tend to make up words on the spot. One such word, which luckily uses English word formation, has become quite a staple in the fandom. During the vlog of their first tour in the United Kingdom, the guitarist, Jan Peteh, coined the term ‘sparklative’. In addition, he coined the term ‘capybaster’ (capybara + capodaster) in another vlog. However, the most prolific when it comes to creating new terms and phrases is certainly the lead singer. In an Instagram Live back in February 2023 (translation yet to be published), the band was discussing whether they would prefer to be a mushroom or pregnant. Bojan responded that he would like to be “nosrečen’ (noseč + srečen). On a quest comparable to those of the people who had to translate the Harry Potter book series into Slovene, we had to coin a term which would sufficiently embody this neologism. With the help of a native English speaker, we coined the term ‘pregstatic’.

“Kar zabaven bi bil. V bistvu ej ej... v bistvu bi bil nosrečen.”⁴

It would be quite fun. I'd be basically, hey, hey... I'd basically be pregstatic.

⁴Joker Out Instagram Live (February 2023)

4. Original Content

As JOS expands, our work reaches beyond the realms of translation. We now also publish original content, such as our own podcast. Some episodes are readings of longer articles by our Native English speakers. We also have two episodes aptly called ‘Queue and A’ where a member of our team interviewed some fans while queueing for the concerts in Amsterdam (December 2023) and in London (April 2024).

Besides interviewing fans we have also managed to interview the band themselves on four occasions. Our first interview was filmed in Tampere, Finland in September of last year. Then an interview in Poznań, Poland was conducted in November 2023. In 2024 we have so far had two interviews (as of writing this article⁵): an hour-long deep-dive interview in London, UK and a shorter interview, discussing Italian culture in Padova, Italy. The interviews were conducted in English and subsequently translated into Slovene.

Moving forward, the goal of JOS is to keep on doing what we do best, which is to translate. We also hope to create more original content and continue to spread positivity in the fandom. To finish off with the words of the lead singer Bojan Cvjetićanin, “JokerOutSubs, no one translates it better.”®

⁵Between the time of originally writing this article and it being published, we managed to conduct another interview. This was our first interview with only one band member, Nace Jordan, and it was done in Slovene. Fret not, you can watch it with subtitles in 15 different languages.

[mikeyisbrooklyn]

Huh, this is gonna be my first chapter of Why We Can’t Have Nice Things that I didn’t already post on Tumblr before I started uploading onto AO3.

Well that just won’t do… hmm it won’t be as organized as the other three but I may as well spoil the Tumblr peeps before I officially post it.

(Warning: this is the final rough draft before the actual final draft that gets posted on AO3 in a few hours.)

Why We Can’t Have Nice Things (4)

Price regretted vocalizing how much he missed paperwork. He knew he would be behind upon his return, but as he limped into his office, he had two stacks of papers so high it swayed in response to any nearby movement. And this was apparently the leftovers after Simon tried to keep it from building up in his absence.

“Glad to ‘ave you back.” Simon grunted, as he held Price’s office door open for him. The warmth in Simon’s voice would be imperceptible to anyone else, but Price caught it. “Don’t croak anytime soon, I don’t want to even think about all this red tape you work with again, let alone handle it.”

“Not so easy being Captain, is it?” Price joked back as he went to sit in his chair slowly.

“That’s why they pay you the big bucks.”

Price let out a single rueful chuckle, knowing how untrue that was—at least, compared with all the shit he had to clean up. Speaking of, he had work to do…

He managed to be both the last to arrive and the first to exit the small party celebrating his return from leave. No one, except McTavish, was thick enough to try to keep him longer—but even the Scot let him slide away after seeing the look of pure exhaustion in Price’s eyes. He didn’t even get half of what he wanted to get done and Price knew that with each day back the more would pile on. That was the nature of the job, even if he couldn’t hit the field, the fight never ends. Price half-heartedly shambled to his room for the first time since getting back to base—not even having entered the room upon arriving with Gaz offering to take his things there for him—and laid down in his bed without even disrobing in a paltry attempt to sleep.

Though being fully clothed didn’t help, the real ailment that kept his eyes was the nagging voice in the back of his head. The one telling him how far behind he already was and would continue to be if he didn’t shape up. It didn’t matter that it was only his first day back, it didn’t matter that if it were any of the 141 or anyone else he would call them mad for thinking they could fill a two month gap in a day, it didn’t matter that he was specifically put on desk duty to not exert himself. All Price could hear in his head was how everyone’s tone with him since his injury had skated on caution, and all he could see were the carefully formed faces of professional soldiers that he could still clock as worried when they didn’t think he was looking.

*Liability*

Price shot up in bed so fast he thought he might get nauseous. Again. That’s been happening too much. He shook his head and ignored the brief pain of getting up on his leg too fast. Price knew he ought to get some rest, but he also hated being behind more than he hated being tired; despite his better judgment, Price slunk back to his office as the dusk turned to twilight.

The rising sun tried and failed to shine a light into Price’s office, as it was blocked from window entry by his drawn curtains. Price sprung up from his desk with a shout at the knock from his door; and if the top sheet from a stack of paperwork was stuck to his face as he did, then that was between him and his maker.

“John?” Nik’s smooth baritone seeped through the door and its vivacity made its way into Price’s very being even with the distance. Or, it tried to anyway, as when the warmth started coursing through him, it was as quickly flushed out by…guilt? Embarrassment? “Mishka, I know you��re in there. Are you alright?”

Damn it all to Hell, there was that cursed worry in Nik’s voice. Price hadn’t even done anything. Had he? He mumbled a half-hearted affirmation that he was coming.

The moment the door was open wide enough, Nik’s arms were around Price. Price stiffened and quickly forced himself to relax, but Nik noticed all the same.

“Mishka?” Deep brown eyes analyzed him, and then, “you did not sleep last night.”

It wasn’t a question. He just knew, Nik always knew when Price wasn’t taking good care of himself. And he was always there to rectify that. When the captain skipped a meal in favor of picking apart intel, Nik conveniently brought servings for two when he came around. Many a night would Price be found with a blanket and neck pillow whilst he slept on his desk if not for the Russian guard dog waiting patiently nearby. The crick in Price’s neck right this instant tells him he would’ve appreciated that act more than ever last night, but Nik was on a mission. In fact…

“Nik. What happened to Amsterdam?” Price deflected. There was no point in lying to Nik, but that didn’t mean Price had to acknowledge his dissecting gaze.

“Nothing. This is simply pit stop.” Nik retorted. “I wanted to see you. I’ve done this many times.” There was a tension in his voice. Not quite arguing, but very much so challenging Price to misstep. Price knew that, yet again, Nik was right. The pilot had made it a habit to visit the base mid-mission and Price never complained about the company. He wasn’t now either, but even he caught the edge in his own voice; as if he was trying to rush Nik off or…or didn’t want Nik there.

Fuck. That’s—that’s not true. Right?

“John?”

Fuck. Price was spiraling again. “Ah, yea, ‘m sorry.” He grabbed the back of his neck and futilely started on the crick in his neck. He stood still for a second—two, three—too long before moving aside. “Come in.”

Nik hesitated and eyed him. Then he eased his stance, something that almost looked casual—if Price couldn’t see just how clinical and forced it was. “Hm, I was hoping to share breakfast, while I have time away from mission. Off the base, of course. I’m sure you have not fed yourself, da?”

Price frowned and crossed his arms. So was this what they were doing? Relaxed stance or not, Price knew this was a standoff—not even mentioning the subtle dig at his ability to take care of himself. He’d had dinner, and a quick glance to the clock showed that it was hardly past 0800, so it wasn’t absurd that he hadn’t had breakfast yet. He wasn’t a lia—*urk*, he fought what felt like rising bile at the bottom of his throat and internally shook it off. The point was, he could feed his damn self. But if he said as much, it’d definitely come across as petulant whining. No, no he would not play into Nik’s hand so easily. Instead,

“Nah, ‘aven’t but it’s cause I was gonna eat with the boys. Planned to make an appearance at the caf, ya know, keep morale up.” He lied through his teeth. Price would stay in his office for days on end if no one came to grab his arse. And Nik knew that too, showing as much with his singular raised eyebrow.

“Oh? Then I can join you.”

“Sure you wanna spend however little time ya got eating the slop they call food ‘ere?”

“You forget who you speak to, rodnoy. I have lived off of nothing but the grubs from the earth, I handle ‘slop’ just fine.” With that, Nik looped his arm around Price’s waist and suddenly and swiftly pulled the man out of the office doorway and against Nik’s side.

Though a small part of Price enjoyed being manhandled just a little, he could tell it was also a way to end the conversation. He was familiar with Nik’s tricks after so long—the way the Russian would use his strength and suavity to poke at each of Price’s weak points with the precision of a sniper. Normally, Price took the usage of those tricks as a sign he needed to relax—trusting Nik’s judgment above all else, but right this instant something ugly flared inside him and caused him to pull away from Nik. The moment he did it felt like something not only in his core but something in the center of the earth ***broke***. As if the very balance of the universe was thrown off. It crushed more than that damned rubble.

In response, Nik froze and several dozen emotions ran across his features. A twitch downward from where his lips meet his right cheek, a scrunching of the space between his eyebrows, and his eyes—God, it was *always* his eyes wasn’t it—taking on a fire deep in their brown like embers in a forest moments from going ablaze. “Wh—“

Price forcefully aborts whatever Nik is about to say by grabbing his hand and moving back into the pilot’s space—though not as close as before. “Sorry, sorry, still waking up. Los’ my balance.” It was some of his worst work to date, but it felt impossible to lie to Nik. It’s why he couldn’t meet his eyes when the fib left his mouth, instead busying himself with closing his office door behind him. “Lessgo.” He grunted, pulling Nik along the hallway without another word. Thankfully, Nik didn’t give him a taste of his medicine and pull back; the holes being drilled in the back of Price’s head could be ignored for now.

To Nik’s credit, his eyes never left Price, even through the attempted conversation—if you could count Nik not-so-subtly probing Price for what was wrong under the guise of causal interest and Price’s increasingly brusque, noncommittal grunts in response as *conversation*. Those eyes were so sharp and scrutinizing that Price was starting to feel like he was about to get sick, ruining his appetite, but something else—something that felt just like that flare from moments ago—started festering, too. Was it indignation? Enmity? Rancor? No, no it couldn’t be, he’d never feel that way at or about Nik. He just wished those damn eyes would stop studying him. Stop waiting for him to—to what? Prove him right, was that it? Price wasn’t stupid, he knew Nik didn’t want him to be in such a hurry to get off leave. He knew Nik had all but begged Price to take it as an opportunity to take a “much needed break”. He remembered the arguments that ended in soft cuddling and quiet assurances, and it’s in his memory he recalls that this *feeling* at the pit of his stomach stuck with him even after the heated debates died. ‘Cause this wasn’t a fluke, this was a developing pattern. Price would try to maintain or regain some sense of normalcy and Nik would swoop in and take the reins. It was never malicious, more like a father keeping his son from touching a hot stove, but Price wasn’t a damn child. He wasn’t a damn liab—

Price thanked a god he didn’t pray to that a few sergeants came over to bother him as he felt bile slowly rising to the middle of his throat. In fact, he used them as an excuse to cut breakfast short, much to Nik’s chagrin.

“But you are not finished!” The Russian stood up as Price was already walking his tray to a nearby trash can.

“Sorry, the boys need me. I’ll make it up to you later. Good luck on the rest of yer mission.” And Price didn’t even give Nik a chance to respond as he left him standing there without so much as a look back, which caused him to miss the slightest quiver in Nik’s bottom lip.

The following weeks were more or less uneventful, at least, relatively. On desk duty, Price didn’t get to live out the eventful days, he only got to read about them in the paperwork he was about ready to go mental over. Every pile he managed to get done, another two would appear. Luckily, he was able to at least lead trainings and spars, even if he couldn’t participate.

There was also the constant, nagging, sick feeling at the pit of his stomach, getting worse with each time he blew Nik off. Truly, if whatever the hell this feeling was didn’t kill Price, the increasing guilt might. Nik certainly didn’t spend his every waking moment on base with the 141, typically only there for a safe and familiar place to do repairs or the occasional invite or visit, but it seemed like lately every chance the pilot had away from Chimera or any other dealings saw him present. And more importantly, looking to spend time with Price.

Surprise gym sessions. Nice romantic dinners. Invites out to private, scenic walks or long drives. Even a planned helo trip as a “spontaneous adventure that doubled as a relaxing holiday”. All of which Price found excuse after excuse to turn down or bail out of part way through. At first, he made an attempt to seem deeply conflicted but as time went on his excuses got limper and his defenses more meek.

The truth was, Price *was* conflicted just not in a way he could genuinely express. It was as if every waking moment Nik and those piercing eyes, analyzing his every step, made him anxious and frayed his nerves. And John Price doesn’t ***do*** anxious. Watching Nik watch him like a hawk was worse than being pinned down with heavy fire and nothing but your bare hands—at least then Price knows no matter he does he’s got to fight his way out or die trying. But this? Nik threw Price off his rhythm, he made Price a kind of vulnerable and open he had made extra sure to never be. And at the onset of the relationship—their *romantic* relationship, Price knew it meant opening up more and Nik was a patient man. More so than Price deserved, he knew that much. Slowly and surely, Nik was able to peel back the layers and break down the walls and Price was actually relieved to have something with someone where he didn’t feel this incessant need to *be* anything. Or to perform or have it all together. It was just him and Nik and it was simple and now…now it’s not.

Because Nik thinks Price fragile—knows he’s breakable, because Nik can tell Price is slowing down and getting himself hurt in stupid ways he should be better than. That’s why Price knows Nik is really always around now to keep a close eye on him, covering it with a saccharine veneer of romance and chivalry—not that Nik didn’t do those thoughtful things all the time but…but this is different. Price knows it is, it’s what the feeling in the pit of his stomach tells him. It’s what the bile slowly climbing to the top of his throat assures him. It’s not Nik’s fault, he’s just trying to protect Price’s dumbass from getting himself hurt again. Nik’s just trying to be the fixer he always has been, the fixer Price could always rely on, the fixer Price now needed. But Price knows that he’s the one thing Nik can’t fix, because he’s not a problem that’s solvable; Price is a liability, plain and simple.

And telling himself that over and over doesn’t make it any easier to get off his knees in front the toilet one night while the moon reaches its peak, nor does launching what little food he’s eaten recently into it ease the bile that’s burning his esophagus.

Price is pretending he didn’t spend far too many hours sobbing, clutched to a shitter like a teen who just reached the worst part of his first binge, the next morning while watching gaggles of rookies do laps when his luck—if one could call it that—runs out.

“Jonathan.” Normally, when the Russian man said his name, it was with mirth or some degree of panic considering the circumstances of their employment. But right now, Nik’s voice carried a gruffness only matched by Price himself, sounding all the more imposing thanks to his size.

Price turned to see Nik walking towards him with a determined glare and steady swagger. A spike of cold rushed down Price’s spine as he not-so-subtly looked for a way out. It was too late to pretend he hadn’t heard his approaching partner, he had already turned in his direction. He couldn’t conjure up some “incredibly important” captain’s business as he had just admitted to the now preoccupied rookies that he was free if needed; he had the feeling Nik heard that. And if he outright ran away, he wasn’t actually sure Nik wouldn’t just chase him down.

That final thought had heat pooling in his gut. Dammit, now isn’t the time for his dick to make his internal conflict worse.

In all of Price’s catastrophzing, Nik had gotten closer and closer, until finally being a breath away from him. Somehow, in this open field, he felt more trapped than when he was under that rubble.

“What is wrong?” Nik sounded like a man trying to keep the worry out of his voice, far too clinical to be believably neutral. “Are you hurt and do not want me to see? Is there something I have done? Something I have not?”

“Not sure what the hell you’re talking about.” Price, unfortunately, also did a terrible job at acting indifferent. There couldn’t be a clearer sign that they ought to simply speak plainly, but John Price never did simple when it came to matters of the heart.

“Jonathan.” Nik all but growled, more desperate than angry.

“Stop saying my name like you’re my bloody father.”

Nik frowned in confusion and exasperation. “Why will you not answer the question? I know something is wrong.”

Price dragged a hand down his face and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he turned towards the dying grass. “Nik, just drop it.”

“Nyet. You have been…” Nik seemed to weigh the words in his mouth before continuing, “off for weeks now, Jonathan. I have waited for you to tell me what ails you in your own time, but the more time goes by, the more… the more you pull away.”

Price did all he could not to freeze as if caught with his hand in a cookie jar. He would not admit how he failed at this. “Nik…Nik, I—no, I’m just still playing catch up. And even then, I’m always busy.” He hardly finished speaking before Nik cursed in Russian, something Price vaguely recognized as an exclamation of disbelief. Bullshit.

“Are you so busy, Captain,” Nik continued, something like venom at the back of his throat upon using Price’s title. “That you cannot spare a glance at meals, or even attend them—or anything I plan to do with you—at all? That you have not spoke more than a single sentence to me beyond niceties?”

Price knew he was wrong, hell, he knew in Nik’s shoes he might even have been twice as vindictive about it. But still, that feeling in the pit of his gut turned into some awful beast inside him—the bile reaching the top of his throat and coming out in form of words he didn’t mean. “Are you daft? Go ask any of my men, if it’s not training or op prep or bullshit paperwork, it’s damn near impossible to get a second in with me. Think you’re meant to be special?” Price regretted those cruel words as soon as they left his mouth. It only got worse when he watched Nik’s face shift; gone was the frustrated but desperate look of a man reaching out—throwing a Hail Mary, now what sat on the larger man’s face was pure detachment.

“Yes, that is what most men think when they share a bed. My apologies, Captain,” The words left Nik’s mouth colder than a tundra. “ I will leave you to your busy schedule.” With that, Nik turned and left. Catching up to him wouldn’t be hard. Screaming his name, or even an apology would be easier.

But Price instead stood there, speechless, hating himself more than he had ever before. He promised himself he would do better, that he wouldn’t *ruin Nik*. That’s what he was doing, right? So why…why did it feel like he couldn’t have gotten it more wrong?

[sakura-hitomi]

Well I for one don't give a fuck about what regular people should do. Ever thought of that? I bet you didn't. Because it shows.

You did give in. Subtly hiding your dislike, then become defensive, until you GAVE IN and just admitted your pure hatred in a long ass rant full of excuses.

You have met the wrong person then if you think I would just take your opinion like I was your bitch or something. It's not about any fictional character you shit on. It's Snape, a guy hated for all wrong reasons.

Also, what the actual fuck are you on about? "you nor Max have use for my opinion and I don't have use of yours" when you in fact placed your shitty opinion below my comment. I agreed with max, what did you do? Oh right, walk over Snape. So take your -you have your opinion, I have mine, let's part ways- and say that to your own reflection. Because you BEGAN.

If it's about Snape? You bet I'm aiming to win any fight. Worked then, works now, only a loser would say that "you don't have to win everything or keep on fighting". And the part where you said "it's very stupid" is hilarious 🤣. You Started, you began, you instigated, I don't know how else I can state it.

If you start something, don't expect people to be on your level. And you say you will be straight up aggressive next time. How about you simply ignore a pro Snape thing. Ever thought about that? Especially when you hate him with every fobre of your being with all but excuses.

Seems like the most reasonable thing, but I bet that's a bit far fetched for you no? Just because it's on your page doesn't mean you have to react. Can't you read tags? pro-Snape tag specifically? And no, you don't have to bring out a ukelele.

Bet that's godawful too, but you know. I might be biased. So no, he isn't weird, he's not a child bully, he's a bad ass teacher that at least kept his students alive unlike a few major other teachers.

You want adult conversation when your first sentence has "weird ass" in it.... doesn't scream maturity at all does it? But you know. I might be biased. So do yourself a favor, and actually reflect on yourself before you play the blame game and paint yourself as a clown.

Also, you better get used to "gave in" because you did. No need to beat around the bush. You literally went from:

- subtly hinting dislike to Snape.

- Then saying it's just an opinion

- degrading his work as a double agent

- labeling him as an adult child-bully but say your opinion MIGHT be biased

- then admit how much you hate him (with excuses of course) when you're cornered.

What is that then if not giving in? Gave in means: surrender or submit.

You surrendered your subtle Snape hatred by revealing that you have all those excuses because you truly loathe him.

So you know, also do your homework on researching definition of words.

"James Potter is a hero because he tried to protect his family from Voldemort."

Isn’t that literally what any father and husband would do for his wife and child? Why do you have to elevate acts of basic decency to the level of heroism? What kind of shitty parents did you have?

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about Gelboys EP1 : The excitement of teen love, nail art and queer identity.

I made the decision to watch this series because it was centered around the turmoil of teen romance with nail art as the basis for the story. If you ask me nowadays if I have any interest for nail art, I would answer with a firm “no”. I have no interest with nail art anymore, but there was a time when I was younger and it was really important to me. I had several nail polishes of so many different colors and I used to change them a lot. I tried to make few designs, but turns out it's far more complicated to draw on your own nails than it is on someone's else nails. I forgot how I liked it back then when I was a teen. This long introduction that has nothing to do with the series, is to show you that I believe the creator of this series made a conscious choice when he decided to put nail art as the basis for the story and that's what I want to talk about in this “random thoughts” about the first episode.

I will make a quick summary of first episode, but you have to know there isn't much happening. This is mostly an introduction of the series' “world” and characters. We get to meet Fou4Mod aka Sakolphat Phlaphithak, a teenager boy who, in the first minutes of the series, discovers that the person he thinks he is dating, is actually seeing someone else too and he ends up blocking them from all his social media and crying from the heartbreak. Then, you'll watch him being a normal teenager: being embarrassed by his mom(‘s old taste in music) as many teens are, going to school, taking the public transport, spending time with friends, being bored in class and socializing. The first day he takes the BTS, he meets Chian and he noticed him because he was wearing nail art. From this point, he became really interested in him and it steers him to try nail art too. Unfortunately, this attraction may cause him some pain too as Chian is described as a “player” by his own friend “Bua”, another character who is a “friend” of Chian and certainly the future “love rival” of Fou4Mod. There is also another important character Baabin Saebal, Fou4Mod's friend.

So as you can see, nail art has its importance in the series. There has always been a social relevance of nail art in our society from a very long time. Unfortunately, I'm not an expert in this, so take everything I say with a grain of salt as my passion from nail art died with me discovering I had allergy to most nail polishes and I stopped caring for this when I entered university. Despite this everyone can agree that nail art is a form of creative expression. It is a way of creating its own identity through fashion because nail art can be seen as just another accessory. The color choices, the length and the shape communicate something about what you like and who you are. It's an easy way to show your individuality, and even if you're not making them yourself, it also shows your taste in art and creativity as you still get to be the one who chooses the design. In the series, the characters' nail art is made with what seems to be gel nail polish technique (I don’t know yet if it’s going to be relevant).

Nail art can be an allegory of queer identity. The fact that you can use different colors and shape to suit your taste, can be seen as letting go of your past self; the one where you couldn't be who you wanted or you had to be the way your parents/caregivers choose for you to be. In choosing some specific design for your nails, you're creating your new self, something that could be more aligned with who you want to be. It's a form of protest too, where you can reject the gender norms. If nail art can be tied to the idea of “femininity” it doesn't mean that it's only meant for this “purpose” (I'm sorry I don't a better word here). In the story of Gelboys, Fou4Mod starts doing nail art because he has developed an instant crush on Chian who was wearing it. It's probably a way of feeling connected to him that steers Fou4Mod to do it. In a way, he is self-expressing by doing nail art that he wants to become closer to Chian. I wonder if in the upcoming episodes, the choice he is going to make in his nail art will be showing the turmoil of his love life. I also want to know if there is going to be a larger discussion of his queer identity. I'm not saying it has to be shown, but I admit I would really like to see it. I feel there is a common pattern with LoveSick 2024 where I felt like young queer love can be mixed with the identity development associated with the transitional stage that is adolescence. Here in Gelboys the identity development could be seen through nail art.

Anyway, I’m pleasantly surprised by this first episode. You can see how I liked the introduction of nail art as I believe it can be queer performativity.

[greatqueenanna]

Frozen 3 - What We Know So Far - 2025

(Note - official F3 concept art released during D23 2024)

Just as I’ve done in previous years, I will be compiling every new piece of information and article I can find regarding updates for Frozen 3. This project began in 2023 with the goal of preventing misinformation and rumors from spreading within the fandom while providing fans with reliable sources for new developments.

Eventually, I will compile a post or page dedicated to all of the sources, interviews, and articles we have so far in regards to Frozen 3 and its second part.

Aspects of this post will change when new information is revealed.

Shout out to the following blogs who also keep an eye out for new information regarding Frozen 3, and are the sources for many articles.

@frozen-snowflakesandsunflowers

@ericmicael

@frozensnetwork

@bigfrozenfan

You can find the older posts with links to news articles and other sources below.

2023 ║ 2024

What We Know Summary

Release Date: November 24th, 2027 Director(s): Jennifer Lee, Marc Smith Writer(s): Jennifer Lee, Marc Smith Producer(s): Peter Del Vecho, Jared Bush Song Writer(s): Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Robert Lopez Voice Actors Confirmed: Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Josh Gad

Story Summary: While specific details have not been released or leaked, we know that the story will be separated into two films, with the second part not having a release date yet. Both parts are being worked on at the same time, and are currently in early development.

The writers are currently looking into answering some lingering questions, including, but not limited to: more Ahtohallan and Nature Spirits lore, more explanation about Elsa’s powers and why Anna does not have magic, Anna’s role as Queen, Anna and Kristoff’s future plans for children, if Kristoff will be King, Kristoff and Sven’s past, what happened to Prince Hans, and more about the Frozen Heart concept.

However, it is good to keep in mind that none of these are 100% confirmed to be in the films, they are just some ideas that the film team are looking into.

------------------

Articles under the Read More.

Missed Article from 2024

In November, Head of the Walt Disney Animation Company Jared Bush, also Executive Producer of Frozen 3, gave a few more tiny details about Frozen 3 during a showcase at D23 Brazil.

Yeah, yeah, Frozen 3 is coming. And from what I've seen so far [of the film] I think people are going to be surprised. I can't give away too many spoilers, other than to say that Jennifer Lee is leading the charge and that the story and the direction that she's taking these characters, what they're going through, what they're going to go through, I think it's going to surprise a lot of people, but it's also going to deliver on everything that people love about Frozen. - Jared Bush, D23 Brazil

Articles from 2025

January

January 17th - Josh Gad confirmed in an interview with Entertainment tonight, shown here on TikTok, that the team has not revealed any story details to him.

---

January 26th - Josh Gad went on to explain how he feels waiting for the third film is a good thing, as it gives time for the writers to perfect the story.

There’s a reason the movie is coming out in 2027. And that is because no one wants to rush this. Everyone wants this to not just be a sequel or a money grab. They want this to be absolutely worthy of the story we set out to make in 2013 [in the first Frozen movie]. And we want to give audiences something that is worth the years of waiting and years of anticipation. And I know that they are actively working on that. And I know that they have a story that they are very, very, very excited about. - Josh Gad, People Magazine.

---

February

February 1st - Idina Menzel confirms that as of now, the films are still in early development, and that she has not seen a script yet. s

Idina Menzel Reveals She Hasn’t ‘Read Any Scripts’ for ‘Frozen 3’ Just Yet (Exclusive)

I think it's happening, but that's all I know. I haven't read any scripts or anything, but I look forward to reuniting with my entire Frozen family and getting in that creative space and getting to get in the studio and find Elsa’s voice again. Idina Menzel, Parade

[pillowspace]

BELOVED PILLOW. MARIA. HELLO. I MUST INQUIRE A QUESTION OR TWO

I understand 25% of Sonic . I wish to understand at least 60%, for a passing grade, ofc. and my mutual on the sonic fandom is absolutely right all the time. I swear.

where do i start

Oh god. I grew up here, I don't kn. Okay. Um. Okay. This is like asking someone for tips on their native language vs. the language they studied. OKAY. LET ME THINK

Right, so first, you should know what the games even are. Here is a list of main line games. You may especially want to be familiar with the Sonic Adventure games as they will be mentioned quite often. You can find playthroughs, you can play it yourself, or, get this: so many people are Sonic nerds and the world is beautiful so there's entertaining posts on the Internet explaining Sonic lore. I believe in you to find the funny videos that catch your interest because they're absolutely everywhere on Youtube

You may also see a lot of references to Sonic 06 due to its introduction of characters (Mephiles. Silver. Blaze technically isn't from Sonic 06 but). It makes for very funny videos at least because the game is uh it's a game <3 OH, people will also reference Sonic Forces a lot but I don't think I ever properly comprehended Sonic Forces even when I saw a playthrough

Also if you want to know about things other than the games, these exist:

You can find a ton of videos about how wacky the older Archie Sonic comics were as well as how it all exploded. People tend to be very fond of the IDW Sonic comics which exist now. As for shows, there's been Sonic Prime, Sonic Boom, Sonic X, Sonic Underground, etc. Not suggesting you go through these, just?? Mentioning their existence??

This is mainly just giving you a few references. Funny Sonic lore videos on Youtube will be your friend, there's so many good ones. You can open enough videos until it infects your recommended. If you want to know more about a specific topic once something gets you curious, you can also search for that. Sonic youtube is beautiful. I'm sorry I have literally no channel to recommend to you, someone do it for me if they want /silly

This is not a good answer, I am scrambling here. This answer is literally me going "have you tried looking it up" for several paragraphs

[fishermon]

Minific about a specific part of my design for the omegaverse (specifically: Mating bite scars glow just slightly, and a mating bond allows you to have a sort of emotional telepathy with your partner, but when your bond is severed, such as by the death of your mate, the glow dies.)

No actual major character death, but Simon and the 141 think Johnny's dead. Plenty of angst (+ 1 very brief mention of suicide which isn't acted upon) with a somewhat pessimistic ending. Also brainwashed!Soap because it's fun :D

***minific/fic idea: ~600 words***

Ghost hasn’t undressed in the days since Johnny was killed because he can’t let himself stop moving, he needs to be busy, he needs to because if he stops for even a moment to sleep or shower or eat a full meal rather than just snacking, anything, he’ll think about the fact that Johnny’s dead and it’ll be real. Eventually Price forces him to go shower and Simon gets undressed and just stops dead in front of his mirror because he’s seen his mating bite for the first time since Johnny was killed. 

It’s stopped glowing.

That’s what finally makes it sink in that Johnny’s gone.

He’s dead.

He’s never coming back.

Johnny’s dead, everyone knows it, there’s no question because Simon’s mating bite scar has stopped glowing. Johnny’s gone.

Except he isn’t. He’s not dead, at least. He was captured and his mating gland was cut out. His and Simon’s bond was severed so it looks like he’s dead. The people who captured Johnny brainwashed him to work for them now and for years he does.

Simon doesn’t get over Johnny’s death, he never could, he’d never re-mate, he wouldn’t desecrate the memory of his partner like that, but he does use Johnny’s death to drive him, puts everything he has into the military now because what else does he have? Before he had the thought of retiring with Johnny. Now he doesn’t want to live to retire. He’s going to die on the field, and if he doesn’t he’ll die by his own hand the second he’s discharged.

One day, Johnny and the 141 cross paths again. It takes a few weeks for the 141 to even know that they’re fighting Johnny, he looks so different now, half of his face is hidden behind a mask and his hair is completely different, his eyes are sunken and bloodshot with something black. One of them manages to subdue and restrain him, though, and they remove his mask and realise who he is. They capture him properly, bring him home again, try to help him, to get him back, to make him remember them, and they manage, they get him back and he’s almost the same as he used to be save the PTSD… there’s one thing they can’t get back, though, one thing Simon can’t get back. There’s a scarred hole in the skin over where Johnny’s neck and shoulder meet, where his mating gland was cut out, and Simon just knows he and Johnny will never be mated again, that they’ve lost that permanently.

They still get together again, still call each other mates, but it’s not the same and god they struggle with it, especially to start with. They got so used to feeling each others emotions through their bond, so now that they don’t have it and can’t get it back they realise just how much of their communication within their relationship was solely facilitated by their bond. 

So many arguments and all out screaming fights happen while they’re trying to learn how to be a couple again. And, on top of everything else Johnny went through, he was tortured, he’s never going to be the same again anyway, and Simon can’t just know what he needs when he’s triggered now that their bond is gone. He used to just know whether Johnny needed a hug or whether he needed space. He doesn’t anymore, and he’s guessed wrong and made things so much worse far too many times to still think he’s a good mate to Johnny, no matter how much Johnny assures him he is a good mate afterwards.

Maybe he was once a good mate, but he’s not Johnny’s mate anymore, and he certainly can’t call himself a good partner, can he?

[genderqueerdykes]

Trans person (specifically genderfluid) from Sweden here!

This is gonna be very my-experience cuz I know people who have had AMAZING experience being trans but I sure as hell haven't 🙃

It's practically impossible to get clear pointers on where to get help if you want any kind of trans related care, if you actually do manage to find your way there you can straight up be denied some things unless you have a gender dysphoria diagnosis, which in turn seems impossible to get unless you have a mental break down during the screening. Also if you're not MtF, FtM, or strictly nonbinary, no bigender, genderfluid, agender etc, they don't exist here, if you identify as anything other than the three you can forget being considered trans at all.

I went through all this some years ago so I pray to the gods things are different now. Swedish healthcare over all is a shit show but that's a story for another day.

Being queer in public changes a lot depending on where you are. I can go out looking like a clown threw up on me and if I'm in a large city like Stockholm or Gothenburg no one will really care, except for a small few parts of town but they're easy to avoid, people are too busy with their own lives to care. If you're in smaller communities however you may get a few odd looks or even harassed, guessing cuz they aren't really used to people anyone who isn't cishet white person™ over all. Again results may vary from place to place.

I hope to get back into the healthcare system later this year and see if they can offer any support, cuz I really want short term HRT and top surgery, I'm gonna try to report back if I remember to do so!

- 🧶

that's rough i'm sorry you've been going through that. i have no idea why people are so strict like this no matter where you go. what's the point of forcing your patients to identify as a certain way? who does that benefit? why does only caring for Some trans people make sense? you don't deserve to be having such a hard time. that's just absurd. you deserve so much better than that

i wish you the best of luck in getting HRT + surgery because that sounds like such a mess. right now trans people don't have it easy anywhere. i hope things improve for all of our sakes. take care, let us know if you need anything or just want to provide more insight

[another-random-paradise]

hi hi hi! i was wondering if u could write headcanons for what it'd be like to date greaseball? <3 no stress!

Hello!! I’m SO sorry that this took so long, my life got really busy,, :(

You didn’t specify which version so I went with London 2024, I hope that’s okay - and I hope you enjoy <33

---------------------------------------------------------

Dating headcanons

Characters: Greaseball

Format: Headcanons

Version: London - Wembley 2024

Warnings: talk of arguments (nothing specific)

-She LOVES validation, especially from you, she will purposefully show of her muscles or go extra fast, in hopes of a compliment or even just a gasp from you. It feeds into her ego, a lot.

-A bit possessive and jealous. She hates it when someone else flirts with you, especially if it's another engine. She'll be there in seconds, cutting them down to size. She'll probably never admit it, but it's because deep down she's worried you'll leave her for someone gentler; someone better at loving you the way you deserve.

-However if she ever sees you defending yourself/cutting the flirt down to size yourself, before she can? She'd find that incredibly attractive! She'd be all smug about it too

-She sadly doesn't take well to critique. Communication isn't exactly her strong suit, so when you try to tell her that she did something wrong/made you uncomfortable, she'll usually just stare at nothing specific, crossing her arms; you won't get much more out of her than an occasional annoyed "mhm"

-It's not that she doesn't want to, she just doesn't know how to. Nonetheless, she carries your words around with her for a good while. She'll try to subtly change, but her ego tends to get in the way. She tries she really does, but she was never taught how.

-however, usually a few hours or a few days after every argument, you'll find a small gift from her, or a bouquet of your favourite flowers waiting for you (either on your desk or your doorstep, depending on if you live together or not). Of course, it doesn't make up for everything, but it's a start

-She'd definitely want to race together with you if you aren't also an engine, no matter if carriage or freight. Racing is incredibly important to her, and she wants to share the experience with you

-She usually likes to show you off, always having a hand on your hip, or a small kiss on your head, just generally keeping you close. The one exception is when she's in an argument with someone, for example when Electra is once again egging her on before a big race, she doesn't respond well to anyone getting to close to her when that happens.

-Date nights are usually stay in movie nights, races, or simply whatever you two impulsively decide to do.

-She isn't big on fancy dates. You did go on quite a few ones when you first started dating, since she wanted to show off and impress you - but she seems to get pretty awkward during them. Not to mention that she doesn't like having to wait so long for food at the fancy restaurants.

-after a hard day at work, she loves coming home to you and fall asleep cuddling. She'd never admit it, of course, but getting to hold you is very comforting for her

Again, so sorry this took so long—

Hope you enjoyed nonetheless!!

Feedback is welcome, just be nice pls <3

Have a nice day/night!!

[multiheadcanons]

THE MERCS AS SONG LYRICS BUT I WROTE THE SONGS THE LYRICS COME FROM AND THERES NO CONTEXT AT ALL BECAUSE THESE SONGS AREN’T ANYWHERE FOR YOU TO HEAR THE CONTEXT (MAYBE ONE DAY)

scout: “i’m teeny but you still look up to me so stay squeaky” i don’t know why when i go through my files that this line always stands out to me when i read it. something about it is cheeky; it’s a smart-ass, corny ass comeback to something i personally have heard most of my life. and i think scout would say “stay squeaky” as a warning too. keep your shit clean, because scout will know if it’s not. he’ll go out of his way to find out what dirt there is on you.

soldier: “and i won’t ask you to wait for me/i’ll be free all year, i guarantee” soldier is a man who moves to the militaristic beat of his own drum. he doesn’t really think he’s too far ahead, or behind, his peers. and he doesn’t need his hand held if he finds out he is either. he is content with himself. he is content even when he’s dead. and he’s always available. so nobody should be worried about him either. he can handle himself. damn. i miss you rick. you were a good man.

pyro: “you may not be the sun but baby, you are my star!” pyro is not my personal absolute favorite character (i think we all know who that is) but that doesn’t stop pyro from being one of my FAVORITE characters to write about! pyro is fascinating because i can essentially say pyro is whatever i want them to be, and as long as i’m hitting a few key points of what we do know about pyro i am well within the confines of canon. pyro is my star. they’ve grown to mean so much to me. but i’ve also never really seen a characterization of pyro that i have really liked and enjoyed; and i’m still not sure if i even like my characterization of pyro! but dammit, this pyro is my pyro. there are many others like them, but this one is mine. pyro is like an s-tier self insert.

demo: “when i get involved, it’s getting worse than intended” this whole verse that this line very specifically is in is soooo funny to me, personally. it’s explosive, it’s vicious, it’s humorous! it’s a lightning strike of so many sentences coming at you. and it’s demo the man. very particularly this line, because to me, if demo is in on something it’s about to go so far out of left field nobody will be able to stop it. he’s learned he is a man who can hear gossip, and shouldn’t get himself involved in it. doesn’t stop him from stepping in sometimes! sometimes you just need a little oomph!

heavy: “i find the bright to be a fickle kind” anyone here a legends of avantris fan? i initially wrote this while watching icebound in my car in the middle of a winter’s night, freezing my ass off because i didn’t want to turn my car on and disturb my neighbors. and i looked up, and the sky was crystal clear; and the moon was directly above me. so i wrote a love song to the winter moon, while listening to a bunch of dnd characters suffer in an icy wasteland. there’s something about big quiet men from already bitterly cold regions that i do think they have an emotional connection to the moon. to its fickle nature in appearance. and i think heavy thinks a lot about what the people who surround him say about him. something about the men he’s grown close with. they bode ill omens. he can’t shake the feeling.

engineer: “communion wine, do you think it’ll save you?” that man knows what he’s doing at all times. he has sacrificed many morals to get where he is now. and he knows there is no coming back. as nice as he may be. he’s an eternal ticking time bomb. it just depends on what’s going to blow up in his face first and take him from this realm of existence. and he knows he’s not seeing the pearly gates. he enjoys what he does far too much.

medic: “the keys lie somewhere between marrow and bone” i didn’t realize i actually wrote this song about the doctor until i went back through and read it. i actually innately understand the doctor because i am him frfr. i was genuinely going batshit insane when i wrote that, overcome and consumed by an obsession i could not and still can not let go of, and watching a lot of saw. and the only way i could let it go is when i get what i need. but it’s lodged so deep, i will have to break myself to get to it. the doctor is willing to break others to get it.

sniper: “i know what i am in.” snipes isn’t dumb. snipes is keenly aware of every decision he’s made that has gotten him to this point. the issue he finds with it is he doesn’t know where else he would go from here. he wouldn’t know what other decisions to make in the past to change what he became today. all he’s done is remain as truthful to himself as he could be; and he’s really banking on that being enough to get him by.

spy: “it sorts the foes from confidants.” spy is discerning, a purposeful and professional metaphorical button pusher. and it’s his dickish nature that is one of his best litmus tests to discern who he can trust and who he can’t. and if you’re not with spy, you are indeed against him. and he treats you accordingly.

[changeling-rin]

What are the secrets of RGBV that have yet to come up? (Servo+, feeling colorful)

None of their favorite colors are the colors that they're wearing. Link's favorite color, before the split, was yellow. RGBV's favorite color is still yellow, but there's a silent pact that none of them get to wear it because otherwise that would be unfair. They've all, separately, grown fond of their assigned color though. This will probably result in Link-the-composite wearing a near-literal color explosion to compensate, once the time comes to put the Four Sword back

Red has a running list of potential names in his head In Case Of Merge, because Link-the-composite can't be called Red! Similarly, Vio has a running list of potential synonyms In Case Of Red Wanting Names In Case Of Merge

If they lean into the Four Sword connection, they could pull a Four with very little effort. Full synchronization and everything. This does not, however, mean that they want to

Technically, all four of them can break the walls. It's just that Blue is the only one brazen enough to do it on purpose. Red just hasn't thought about doing it himself, Green is secretly tempted but too responsible to try, and Vio actually is against it

Of course, by these ratios, Link-the-composite would most likely carry on Blue's legacy, because there's not enough real opposition to stop that part of him

They are not very good singers or musicians

On the other hand, they're pretty decent dancers

The Four Sword split them evenly, but not necessarily in a way that would make sense. For example, Red is the one with the majority of the cooking skills, but Green is the one with the patience and the focus to actually stand in a kitchen and make something

They have a decent amount of spelunking experience and are among the few Links in the group who will willingly hop into a strange cave with no questions asked

The existence of Moon Gates in their native Hyrule have effectively skewed their entire perception of how common alternate/dark worlds are. Oh, multiple other Links have one of those too? Must be pretty normal then. (Spoiler: it is not)

They don't like to be cold. Warm-weather boys all the way

Their eyes have changed color to match their color. Vio has violet eyes, Blue has blue eyes, etc. Ironically, for all that Green can usually claim keeping their original color scheme, Link-the-composite did not have green eyes. (They were blue)

There is no such thing as a consequence-free soul merge, and therefore there is also no such thing as a consequence-free soul split. There's an event-horizon of no return with the Four Sword, and if they cross it they're effectively going to be a system when they merge back into Link-the-composite. They don't know this (nobody documented it), and they haven't crossed it yet, but...

Despite occasional evidence to the contrary, all four of them are actively and constantly making sure that the other three are within sight at all times. If it goes too long, they get twitchy. There's a little Four-Sword-influenced voice in their heads going 'those are your other pieces, do you know where they are? do you know they're safe? keep them close. don't lose them.' It's a safety feature so that the wielder is less likely to lose a facet permanently, because three remaining pieces trying to make up what was previously a four-pieced person... doesn't go well. It'd get classified as co-dependency, if they weren't literally pieces of a whole.

And lastly, they're amazing at group strategies - but only within their specific group. Left to their own plans, the four of them are the most in-sync team imaginable, outside of the actual Four. Add in additional Links and ask them to make a plan, and they're probably going to forget that there's other people they need to account for. This is why Green is not a leader of the whole Chain, but is still the de-facto leader of his Four-Sword-subset.

[daiourage]

My Take on the TFO Dual Rulers/Two Primes AU (pt.2)

Part 1 here!

Hi. Been practicing watercolor for another post I've been teasing since a few days back, and I don't recall watercolor being this fun???

Anyway, here is more stuff for the AU that I'm definitely not the first person to make, but this is all my take on it.

Warning: Nothing plot worthy happens on this post. It's just designs lmao. Also Soundwave and Bee are besties (not a ship)

(I'm pretty proud of how the colors turned out, but I love how my printer photocopied the wrinkles too??? Also my signature looks like one blob because I used a calligraphy pen wrong LMAOOO)

More deets and other angles of the paper below!!↓↓↓

Cute boys jumpscare!!

Hello!!!! I'm really proud of how Soundwave turned out!! His gorgeousness is based on like,,, everyone else's maskless Soundwave out there, but his big 'ol eyes are based on @dailymothanon's Soundwave specifically (original post here!! Also sorry if you didn't want me to tag you 🙏)

I know he's cool and not very emotive, but I'd like it if he had the most conventionally attractive smile (I wonder what the beauty standards for Cybertronians are);;; I'd like to imagine that him and Bee share work a lot, and he removes his helmet to tease Bee--just like a parent playing "Peekaboo" with their kid. (Maybe I should've made Soundwave look a little older;;;)

I also wanna elaborate on Senator Shockwave as a concept for a hot moment again:

1. Just as written on paper, I couldn't figure out if I wanted to bring back the Senator's design from the original series, or if I was just going to change Shockwave's design a little bit. I wanted to originally draw Shockwave as more humanoid, but I realized that it would take away his uniqueness in shape, so I decided against it. 1-2. I plan to alter everyone else's designs, too! I'm just not too sure how to do it since I'm still not used to drawing robots;;; 2. I also found it funny how he's going back to being a Senator, as in G1IDW, he became a Decepticon after he was a Senator--this is the other way around and it's kinda interesting. Maybe he'll be friends with Optimus again;

Look at how crinkly it is!!! I'm laughing!!! I'm still sad you can't see the sparkles of the gold pen I used, but the calligraphy pen looks great so I'm happy (I plan to use it in a later drawing)