#and these were both sth i actually needed

[sanguineterrain]

hii this is my first time requesting sth so i hope its okay. what about spencer dating a reader who is asexual or takes a long time to be comfortable with intimacy but people are always asking if he’s getting any and reader feels like she isn’t enough

if not that’s totally fine thank u anyways

(this isn’t self indulgent wdym)

Thanks for requesting lovely. you are definitely not alone in feeling this way 🩷

fem!reader. you feel insecure after derek makes a harmless joke about how often you and spencer meet for lunch

****

Spencer forgets to eat lunch.

It's just a fact. He doesn't always forget, but he forgets enough for you to meet him for lunch when you can or shoot him a reminder text.

Today, you have a day off, so you decide to visit. Spencer tells you he'll meet you at the entrance so you don't have to go through security and get a visitor's badge. You think it's a little ridiculous that you have to do that every time, but according to Spencer, it doesn't take much time at all for people to become a danger to others and themselves.

Not that I think you would do that! he's always quick to add. You adore him.

He gets off the elevator with Agent Morgan. You watch as they approach and Morgan sees you, then claps Spencer's shoulder.

"Oh, so this is where you disappear to for lunch," he says, wrinkling Spencer's shirt. You can tell Spencer notices right away and is mildly annoyed. He shrugs his friend off.

"What're you talking about?" Spencer asks, pursing his lips.

Agent Morgan grins. "How many lunches out do you need, Reid? Seems like you're always forgetting food. 'S not like you."

Spencer looks at him, brows furrowed. "I need one a day, according to the general medical opinion. And my lunch breaks aren't that long."

You suddenly feel queasy.

"Uh-huh." Agent Morgan just grins that sly grin. "Don't be too long. Have fun, you kids."

You walk out. Agent Morgan goes the opposite direction of where you parked your car. Spencer's warm hand squeezes your arm affectionately.

"Hi," he says. "I actually brought lunch today, I just wanted to eat with you, so I lied and told everyone that I don't have lunch so we can be alone."

"Sweet of you." You voice is thin.

"Are you okay?"

You try to keep walking, but hello! Behavior analyst boyfriend alert. Spencer gently tugs you to stop and face him.

"What's wrong?" he asks, forehead crinkled in concern. "Your voice has a tremor."

"Did you tell Agent Morgan that we have sex during your lunch breaks?" you ask, folding your arms.

"What? No, I don't—no!"

"Because I know I've been making you wait, Spencer, and I know I keep saying I'll be ready at some point, but it's really shitty if you're telling people that I stop by just to give you head in your car or something."

Spencer's mouth opens and closes a couple of times in genuine, horrified shock, like when he'd found you hunched over the toilet in pain months ago during a bad stomach flu, and you realize then that you're way off the mark.

How could you think that? Of course Spencer wouldn't do that to you.

"Spencer, I'm—"

"I would never say or imply that. I don't even—I'm not mad or resentful of the fact that we haven't had sex, okay? I wouldn't care if you never wanted to have sex. I don't date you because I'm hoping to 'hit it and quit it.'"

You both cringe at his choice of words. Spencer sighs. "Okay, never using that phrase again. But it's true. I'm not waiting you out, and I'm definitely not talking about us having or not having sex to anyone at work." He shudders. "My living nightmare."

"I'm sorry. You're right, you wouldn't say that. I know you wouldn't. You wouldn't tell people even if we were having sex."

Spencer shakes his head emphatically. "Of course not."

Of course not.

"Then why did Agent Morgan imply that we were leaving to do it on your lunch break?" you ask unhappily.

"He was implying that we were sneaking off to have sex?" Spencer asks. "Are you sure?"

You frown. "Yeah, Spencer. He was teasing you about taking long lunches and always going out with me because..."

He nods in understanding. "Oh. That's... weird. Okay. I'll tell him not to say that stuff. I'll say that it bothers me."

You rub your arms self-consciously and turn your body away from Spencer. "It's not that weird for him to think, though. I do stop by a lot. And you're a young guy. Other guys your age probably visit their girlfriends during lunch and do that."

Spencer raises his eyebrows. "That seems excessive. And risky. And highly unsanitary. And uncomfortable. And—"

"Okay." You laugh a little. "I get it, Spencer. You're not like other guys."

"Story of my life."

"I guess I'm not really like other girls either," you say. "Having sex on your lunch break is probably more normal than dating for six months and never having sex."

Spencer frowns. "There's no such thing as normal. There's socially accepted behavior and opinion and laws and a bunch of made up crap that a lot of people are too afraid to challenge. I'm about the furthest from normal that you can get."

Your mouth flattens. "You're not bad, though."

"Exactly!" Spencer kisses your cheek, startling you. He doesn't often initiate kisses, preferring to show affection in his own way. You don't mind when he does kiss you though.

"Exactly," he says. "And neither are you. I doubt that how you feel about sex is so unusual. But even if it was, it wouldn't make a difference to me. It's how you feel, and I respect it. If I had a problem with it, we wouldn't be dating."

You glance down the block, at the building entrance. "But people might talk."

"Derek wouldn't," Spencer says firmly. "He jokes, but he would respect this if I told him to."

"It's not him, Spence, it's just..." You shake your head. "I've hit a stumbling block with every guy I've dated because they thought I was a prude, a tease, frigid. One guy said I needed shock therapy."

"I don't think that," he says softly. "I don't think any terrible things about you for feeling this way."

"No? You haven't tried to profile me based on my aversion to intimacy?"

Spencer's face scrunches with sadness. "No. You're my girlfriend, not a suspect. This isn't something I have to diagnose. I love you. I like spending time with you. Please don't think that I don't have the capacity to know what I want in a relationship. You don't have to be suspicious of me. I have nothing to hide about how I feel."

"People might think something's wrong with you for dating me," you say.

Spencer shrugs. "So what? People already think something's wrong with me. Doesn't mean they're right. I currently hold the record for the longest relationship in the BAU, besides Hotch. I'm the winner."

You sigh. Everything you throw at Spencer about how he should run while he can, he has a response for.

You might just give up and keep on letting him love you without any strings attached.

"Have I convinced you?" he asks. "I'm really good at debating."

"No kidding," you say. "I'm surprised you didn't become a lawyer."

"Hotch says there's still time." Spencer smiles. "Wanna go to that Thai place three blocks from here?"

Spencer loves the Thai place. It's one of his safe restaurants. You like it too, mostly because of how much Spencer likes it. And you trust his recommendations. He always checks the health inspection grade before eating somewhere.

"Don't you have lunch?"

"I have a peanut butter sandwich in my desk and I'll probably stay late. It'll keep."

"Okay." You lean in and kiss Spencer. He responds immediately, stroking your cheek with his thumb. The tenderness overwhelms you.

"You're really nice," you whisper.

"You deserve a nice boyfriend," he says. "And Chicken Satay. I'll get you both."

You link your arm with his as you begin to walk.

"Is six months really the record?"

"Oh, you don't know the half of it."

[szczylpierdolony]

purchased a pair of shoes.

[muninnhuginn]

Thinking about "your weakness is how you always want to be the hero" and how the series returns to this at the end

Li Lianhua hated how he acted as Li Xiangyi and spent years trying to distance himself from it, but ultimately he still fell back into the similar patterns, for all his added experience

His main priority was always to "do the right thing" regardless of how that would impact on those around him. And it *did* impact those around him. From Qiao Wanmian and Shan Gudao as Li Xiangyi to Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as Li Lianhua

Giving the Styx flower to the emperor so he could use it as leverage to guarantee Fang Duobing and his family's safety. Using the last of his power to save Yun Biqiu. Constantly putting others above himself whilst actively refusing to recognise that his self-sacrificial nature would hurt those he cared about most

And sure, he thinks he's going to die anyway. They're going to be hurt regardless and he can't do anything about that. His odds are low of the Styx flower even working. But ultimately, he refuses to even consider trying. Li Xiangyi has been dead a long time and Li Lianhua is just there to tide things over. What value is the life of a ghost

To the end, he lives and dies a hero. To the end, he refuses to live for himself.

[lunamond]

The way trauma is handled (or not handled in many cases) is one of the most blatant examples of Sjm's bad writing. It never stops making me mad.

Each character's trauma conveniently bends around whatever her narrative currently needs, without any regard if it makes sense for said trauma to express itself like that at all, nor if it is consistent with prior characterisations.

Feyre only acts traumatised from Utm when it is convenient for the plot, that being leaving Tamlin and getting with Rhys. All her mental anguish and triggers mysteriously vanish during her stay in the Night Court (despite that place being filled with things that SHOULD trigger her ptsd).

The colour red? It's not an issue anymore. Wearing impractical dresses? As long as half her tits and ass are out, she is completely fine. Never mind that that was literally what she was forced to wear Utm.

This wasn't a real healing arc or a meaningful exploration of trauma and ptsd. This was just a convenient way for Sjm to tell the reader Tamlin=bad and Rhys=good.

She isn't really interested in exploring trauma no matter how often she centers her plot around it. That's why every character whose trauma might muddle her intended story gets ignored. This obviously includes characters like Nesta and Tamlin, but even her favs like Rhys suffer from this. Rhysand supposedly experienced 50 years of trauma, but we never see this actually be explored beyond a convenient pity party and some bad dreams. And both of these only get used to set up the next smut scenes instead of providing any new depth to his character.

[othercrossee]

I like Irida cuz she's such a little shit tbh I think if Adaman were to actually cry in front of her, shed freeze up and just fucking stare at him

[bluebeary-jay]

Be still my foolish heart (don't ruin this on me)

Neighbor!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: you and Joel have been neighbors for a while but despite your mutual interest in one another, you never crossed this line. until, after one tense situation, Joel slips up (based on this wonderful request!)

Tags: friends to lovers, love confessions, fluff and angst, Joel is your sexy neighbor you shamelessly drool over, also his toolbelt is an important character in the fic (don't judge me)

Warnings: angst, 'nice guy' alert 🙄, attempted assault (stopped by Joel), some nsfw content but not actual smut (yar girl is gettin there 😌)

Word count: 6.2K

A/N: hiiii my darlings!! sorry for the wait, i know it's been a long time but life was crazy. here's sth i've been workin for a looong time and honestly i stared at it for so long i no longer know if i'm proud of it or not 🙈 anyway, i really hope you guys will like it and as always, happy reading!! 💕

“I really don’t know how to thank you, Joel. This is incredible.”

Joel watched, slightly embarrassed, as you walked around the table with a wide, bright smile. You gripped one of the legs – the one that was previously crookedly attached and broke down when you put something heavier on the counter – and tested its stability. After a successful inspection you looked up at him.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“Nah, nothin’ of the sort.” He waved his hand, feeling a big lump in his throat when you directed that pretty smile of yours at him. “M’just glad I could help.”

“You didn’t have to fix this, too, though.” You brushed the edge of the table which Joel sanded so you wouldn’t get a splinter from the rough surface. His eyes followed your fingertips before he coughed.

“Didn’t want you to hurt yourself. This side was practically smashed up, after all…”

“Still, I didn’t even need to ask you.” You shook your head in thoughts before glancing at him with gratitude. “Thanks again.”

“You really gotta stop thankin’ me.” Joel started to gather his things into the toolbox and wiped his palms on his pants (certainly not because they were slick with sweat). “It was a piece of cake.”

“But, you know.” You tilted your head to the left and right, scrunching your nose playfully, and it was so fucking adorable that Joel thought his heart was going to give out. “You already fixed the sink in my kitchen, that hole in the wall, my door, and now my table… Are you sure I’m not leeching off your generosity?”

A half-smile found its place on Joel’s face, and he shook his head with a chuckle. “M’sure. It’s only fair since we’re neighbors, sweet girl.”

Sweet girl.

Joel never knew if he wasn’t crossing the line by calling you that. You never gave any sign of discomfort or disgust when he did, but he also recognized that regardless of your reaction, he should stop. He couldn’t deny that his old heart harbored an embarrassingly big crush on you – after all, you were the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on – but it wasn’t right to think about you in that way.

If he only knew that every time he let those words of endearment slip, your heart started to do crazy somersaults.

Joel Miller was an extremely handsome man, there was no denying that. And with his deep drawl, the salt-and-pepper hair, the warm, brown eyes and that dangerous smirk he sometimes sent in your direction… it was no wonder you fell for him.

It also didn’t help that he was so kind, always ready and eager to help you with the smallest inconvenience. Sometimes it made you want to smash something in your house yourself, just to have an excuse for him to come over again and for you to be able to watch him work.

But you weren’t that desperate, yet. Yet.

Your daydreaming was rudely interrupted by a series of knocks on your front door. Both your heads snapped in the direction of the sound, but when you recognized the familiar pattern of it, your mood dampened in an instant.

Joel noticed the change in your expression, of course, and immediately stood up, leaving the toolbox on the floor.

“What is it?” he asked with a hint of alert in his gruff voice, but you shook your head.

“It’s nothing. Don’t go yet, okay? I’ll be right back.”

You exited the room before he could ask another question, and Joel furrowed his brows. He stayed rooted in spot, listening to your heavy step as you walked to the door and opened it. And then… he heard a male voice that started to say something to you.

Joel couldn’t help but grind his teeth as he finished gathering his stuff, ready to go back home. It was the second time that some man came to visit you while you had him over, and the bitterness he felt in his mouth was even more noticeable than on the previous occasion.

He knew you were quite popular in Jackson, especially with boys your age. There was always someone offering to buy you a drink or dance whenever you went out with your friends, and once Joel had to even step in when two drunk guys kept pestering you. But as much as it pained him, some of those men who showed genuine interest in you were quite nice. And good-looking.

And a lot younger than him.

He knew very well that he was too old for you. He knew that he shouldn’t fantasize about sharing a life with you, and that thinking of any form of intimacy between you and him was making him a big old creep, but no matter how many times he swore to himself it’ll be the last, he could not stop. You were just so beautiful, so sweet and so nice…

He saw your smiling face when he went to bed late at night, and imagined your body beside him when he woke up early in the morning. He looked at your house on his way to work and wondered if you were eating breakfast already, taking a shower or still sleeping peacefully amidst the many blankets he saw once on your bed. He felt a rush of energy and endorphins every time you knocked on his door, asking him to help you with something, and it only enhanced his already existent protectiveness toward you.

Suddenly, Joel heard a raised male voice from the porch, which instantly got his guard up. He quickly followed the sound, and upon rounding the corner he saw you trying to close the door on Jack, a boy he recognized but never talked to. He saw him a couple of times at the bar, though he wasn’t one of those bothering you and never seemed to give anyone any trouble.

Still, you looked really uncomfortable, so when your and Joel’s eyes met, he nodded reassuringly and took his place in front of you.

“Is somethin’ the matter?” he asked dryly. The sight of him took Jack aback and he opened his mouth, looking lost for a good moment. Joel raised his eyebrows, and the young man cleared his throat.

“Nothing at all. We were just chattin’.” Then Jack looked over Joel’s shoulder at you, completely ignoring the other man. “What the fuck is Miller doing in your house, anyway?”

You stammered, but Joel kept his cool, leaning against the doorframe casually. Jack was tall and well-built, but still smaller than Joel, and he made use of this fact to intimidate the boy to the extreme.

“Mr Miller is helpin’ her with the sink that needs fixin’,” Joel answered instead with a pang of irritation. “And you’re kinda interruptin’.” Jack didn’t move, and Joel clenched his jaw. “Scurry. Now.”

The boy huffed, murmuring something under his breath before he bid you a grudging adieu. Joel shut the door behind him with more force than he intended and took a second to calm his breathing before turning back to you.

“Sorry if that was too harsh–”

“No, don’t apologize.” You sighed tiredly and went to the living room, plopping down on the couch. “It’s okay. Maybe he’ll back off a little.”

Joel bit the inside of his cheek, wondering if he should ask the question that was gnawing at him mercilessly.

“Are…” he started, and you lifted your head. “I mean, are you two…”

“No!” you quickly answered, blushing a little to Joel’s surprise. “No, no, nothing of the sort. He asked me out and I told him I’m not interested, but he still tries to…” You waved your arm in the direction when he saw the youngster last. “I don’t know, convince me?”

Joel sat down next to you, clasping his hands together. “Well… if he ever gives you any trouble, you lemme know, alrigh’?”

A small smile spread across your face when you tilted your head to look at him.

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” Then a playful glint appeared in your eyes, and your smile turned mischievous. “...Mr Miller.”

A breathless laugh escaped Joel, and he dragged his hand over his face, praying that he managed to stifle a groan wanting to escape his chest. He shook his head to regain some clarity, but could still feel all the blood in his body rushing down. It didn’t help that your couch was too small, and your knees were touching – though Joel couldn’t tell if it happened when he sat down or a little bit later.

Fuck.

“Shut up,” he just murmured, not looking at you in fear you’ll see what your words did to him. “I tried to make him leave quicker.”

“And he did. And I think you deserve a reward for your help.”

You stood up and for a second Joel panicked. A reward, you said.

He couldn’t help the images that flooded his brain in that moment – of you on your knees in front of him, or bent over the table he just fixed. His eyes went to your thighs, and his own flexed involuntary when he envisioned how you’d feel underneath him, what sweet sounds he could coax out of you, how soft your skin would be in those places you kept covered…

But then you walked past him, and he snapped out of the naughty daydreams.

“Wh-where are you goin’?” he asked, his voice strained, and you looked over your shoulder with an oblivious smile.

“I made a cake this morning. I’m gonna bring you a piece, yeah?”

You didn’t wait for an answer, and just left the room with pep in your step.

Joel groaned and let his head fall back, covering the redness of his cheeks with his hands.

Idiot.

Almost two weeks have passed since the last time you asked for his help with something, and surprisingly, Joel was okay with that. After that embarrassment he experienced in his own mind, he told himself that it would be prudent to distance himself from you for a little bit. At least until he could act normally around you.

He still thought about you constantly, that he couldn’t help. Every time he saw you in town he instantly felt lighter, but so very often you were accompanied by another man – and no matter if you seemed comfortable with the attention or not, Joel always had this urge to come over and protect you from any unwanted suitors.

He was being ridiculous, he knew that. You didn’t like him the way he liked you, and even if he somehow grew a pair and told you about his feelings, a pretty and young girl like you would never be interested in someone who could be her father’s age.

The thought of you thinking of him as a father figure churned up his guts, making him feel sick. Jesus Christ.

But it still did nothing to weaken his infatuation, and when you finally knocked on his door again, asking if he could fix the rack in your room, he didn’t even hesitate before agreeing.

So here you both were. Joel, looking at the problem at hand, and you, looking at (none-the-wiser) Joel.

“S’nothin’ big,” he finally said after some examination. “I’ll replace the shelf and reaffix it to the wall better. Shouldn’t take long.”

You nodded, but truthfully you were only half-listening. The sight of Joel in your bedroom was far too distracting.

It’s been so long since Joel was a guest in your house – well, only a couple of weeks tops – but you missed seeing him in your private space. Though one could say, he never truly left with how often you thought about him.

So maybe that’s why you were so shameless with your staring.

His broad shoulders were to die for, and you bit your lip absentmindedly as your eyes wandered across his muscular back and forearms, usually hidden under the sleeves. You knew you shouldn’t be ogling your neighbor who was nice enough to lend you a helping hand whenever you needed, but… well, a little admiring wouldn’t hurt anyone, right?

And there was a lot to admire.

“You listenin’ to me?”

The brutal wake-up call of his voice pulled you out of your thoughts, making you blush wildly and your body hot with embarrassment at being caught staring.

Okay, maybe it would hurt someone.

“Y-yeah,” you stuttered, feeling your whole neck heating up rapidly. “Uh-huh. I understand.”

Joel’s lips stretched into a lopsided smile, and he turned to face you fully.

“I asked if you have some nails in the house,” he repeated, not breaking eye contact. If you allowed yourself to be delusional, you’d say his voice sounded almost… flirtatious. But that was probably only your head telling you what you wanted to hear.

“Yeah…” you breathed distractedly, but then shook your head quickly. “I mean, no. No, I don’t.”

Joel smirked, stepping closer to you and making you swallow heavily. Your gaze once again dropped to his strong arms, down to his big hands and… fuck. He had his thumbs hooked in his tool belt, already hanging low on his waist, and it made him look so ridiculously hot.

Lord have mercy.

“What got ya so distracted, sweet girl?”

Have fuckin’ mercy.

“Nothing!” you said, a bit louder than you intended, crossing your arms over your chest to do something with this splitting tension in your body. “I was just looking at… the shelf.”

Joel’s eyebrows shot upright. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he didn’t believe you. “The shelf,” he repeated blankly, and you nodded, trying to appear calm despite feeling like you were going to burst into flames if he kept looking at you like that. But then Joel chuckled, and his eyes turned as warm as always. “M’only teasin’. Stop lookin’ so scared.”

“I’m not–” you started, but your lips also spread into a grin when you saw his genuine smile. “God, you’re insufferable. Will you fix it or not?”

“So demandin’,” Joel mused, shaking his head and walking out of the room. “I’m gonna go get the nails from my house. Be right back.”

You whispered under your breath something he didn’t hear, but it made him smile to himself nonetheless.

It was so easy to slip back into this playful banter with you, Joel thought as he made his way back home. Maybe things between you two won’t be as awkward anymore (though he was aware all this awkwardness was his fault), and he could go back to being your friend.

No matter that he wished he could be something more. No, it wasn’t right to think that way. What you two had was enough.

Still, as he looked for those damn nails, he couldn’t get out of his mind the way that adorable blush spread across your face. And how your eyes lingered on his figure when he looked at you. But no, surely he was only imagining things.

…right?

Joel sighed, closing the door behind him and going back toward your house, his thoughts already on the best way to fix that shelf of yours and maybe stabilize it a bit more, because by the look of how it hung on the wall, it was only a matter of time until he’ll have to visit again.

Or maybe he’ll leave it be. Only to have an extra excuse to see you sooner rather than later.

He rolled his eyes at his own musings, but the train of his thoughts abruptly stopped when he saw your front door slightly opened. He slowed down, wondering if you went after him… but no, there was no sign of you anywhere, and he was pretty sure he closed it on his way out.

And then he heard a faint sound of glass shattering.

Joel’s mind went completely blank. In a blink of an eye he stormed into the house, his survival instincts formed over the last twenty years kicking in and screaming for him to find you, to make sure you’re safe and unharmed.

But your bedroom was empty and when Jeol yelled your name, no one answered him. You were within the safe walls of Jackson, and there was no way the infected or raiders could ambush you, but still Joel felt an icy wave of panic washing over him, his mind providing him with terrible scenarios that would explain the open door and your silence.

Then a small thud reverberated from the other room, and Joel’s legs carried him there without a second thought.

He slammed the door open, and his eyes immediately locked on the man holding you against the wall. Your assaulter – that fucking kid, Jack – had one hand covering your mouth, the other forearm pinning your shoulders to the wall. His knee was between your legs and Joel could see you standing on your tippy toes, trying to pull away as far as possible.

Joel’s hands were itching to get rid of the threat that guy was for you, but first his gaze involuntarily shifted to your face – and his heart clenched painfully when he noticed your terrified expression and tears streaming down your cheeks.

The blinding rage in Joel’s veins almost charred him from the inside out and he felt like he was about to explode from the fury seething inside of him. In two long strides he ran towards Jack and all but threw him off of you, stepping to the side to act as a shield between you and him.

“You just signed your death sentence, kid,” he growled and punched the other man in the face when he tried to get up. You screamed behind him, but Joel ignored it, the need to beat the living daylights out of this little shit almost overwhelming his senses.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Jack yelled from the floor, holding a hand in front of his face. “You broke me fucking nose, man!”

It was true, the blood was flowing freely from the already swelling nose, but it didn’t feel like enough. Joel had to utilize every fiber of his willpower to keep himself from venting his wrath on this kid. He knew damn well it wouldn’t end well for either of them – Jackson had hard laws when it came to violence.

“You deserve a lot worse,” Joel gritted his teeth and motioned with his head towards the exit. “Now get out.”

“She wanted it!” Jack shouted, as if he hoped that his explanations would make the situation any better. He wiped the blood flowing from his nose, glaring at you angrily. “Stupid bitch,” he snarled, “can’t make up her mind. Didn’t I do enough for you?! I was nice, always helped you–”

“Get the fuck out of here before I break your jaw,” Joel cut in, clenching his fists and taking a step forward. The young fucker seemed to size him up for a couple of seconds, probably wondering if starting a fight was worth it, but eventually spluttered contemptuously.

“Fine,” he snarled, and then looked below Joel’s arm at you. “I wouldn’t want to catch somethin’ from you, either way, if you’re already fucking this old geezer.”

Your face, and also Joel’s, grew hot – but while yours was red from embarrassment and shame, his was burning from barely concealed rage.

“OUT!!” he shouted, his thundering and powerful voice making both you and Jack flinch. His face was twisted in fury and the other man must’ve realized that staying here longer would only mean worse for him, because he scrambled to his feet and ran out without another word.

The front door slammed shut behind him, and for a few seconds a heavy silence hung in the air.

Joel took a steadying breath, trying to restore his cool, but he felt himself shaking from rage. If he didn’t come back in time… if he was a minute late, he didn’t want to think what that bastard would’ve done to you.

Trying to shut down the intrusive thoughts, Joel turned around and knelt by where you were still seated on the ground. He couldn’t will the tension in his body to lessen, and his muscles and tendons were so taut that he thought they were going to snap. But he forced his hands to unclench before he gently cupped your face.

“Did he hurt you?” he asked quietly, his brows knitted in worry. You shook your head, but your eyes were filled with tears, and it felt like something was ripping Joel’s chest apart.

“He pushed me. And I… the glass.”

You lifted your hand and Joel winced when he saw a shard of green glass – from the flower vase which previously stood on the table – embedded in your palm. A trickle of blood was running down your wrist, but he presumed there would be much more once he took it out.

“It’s alright, sweet girl. I’ll take care of it.” I’ll take care of you. “Let’s go to the kitchen so I can patch you up, ‘kay?”

You nodded, letting him pull you to your feet.

Once you made your way there and you instructed him on where some bandages and disinfectant were, Joel gently grabbed your waist and hoisted you up onto the table, seemingly without any problem at all. You blushed when you felt his touch, for a moment forgetting about the pain piercing your palm, but the gravity of what you just experienced crept up on you again soon enough.

Joel noticed your silence as he carefully removed the shard and bandaged your hand. He didn’t want to imagine what exactly happened when he was gone, but it was obvious it shook you quite strongly. So when he saw tears welling in your eyes, he threw all caution to the wind and wrapped his arms tightly around you.

Not one ounce of regret had time to haze his mind over, because you instantly clung to him, too, letting out a shaky exhale. Joel hugged you tightly, letting go of all the tension and fear in his body. He was never this close to you before, and he allowed himself to indulge in the warmth of your body and the feeling of your arms around him, reminding him that you’re okay, that you’re with him now. He breathed in your scent, hiding his nose in the crown of your head and pressing his lips to your hair, hoping to calm you down.

“It’s alright, baby. I’m here, you’re safe now.”

You tensed, but Joel just held you closer, not realizing he said something wrong. He planted a soft kiss on your hairline, sighing when you started moving your hands up and down his back soothingly. Despite standing up, Joel felt relaxed like never before, like he could fall asleep right here and now.

That is, until you spoke up.

“What did you say?”

…shit.

Joel opened his mouth, then closed it almost immediately. His eyes raced wildly across the room, trying to think of what to say, but he didn’t let go of you. There might’ve been a selfish reason behind his inaction, but mostly he didn’t want you to see his flustered face.

“Nothin’,” he answered after a pregnant and rather uncomfortable pause, and cleared his throat. “You don’t wanna… t’was nothin’ important.”

Maybe you really didn’t hear him. It would have saved him a lot of trouble and embarrassment, and probably another two weeks of his life of avoiding you. But judging by the silence in the room, he wasn’t so lucky.

“Did you…” You swallowed before finishing softly, “call me ‘baby’?”

Joel cringed, closing his eyes tightly, and prayed for some higher power to smite him off the surface of the Earth. But again – luck wasn’t on his side.

The silence prolonged, and you finally grew impatient. You pulled away, looking up to scan his face. “Joel?”

“I’m sorry, it… slipped out,” he mumbled, all red and not meeting your eyes. That was a shame, because if he did find the courage to look at you, he would notice a small smile forming on your face as you regarded him.

“So I heard you correctly?” you asked again, and he sighed heavily, running his hand over his face and rubbing his eyes.

“Yes, yes you did. M’really sorry, I wasn’t thinkin’. I just tried to comfort you and– fuck,” he whispered to himself, lowering his hand but still not looking in your direction. “I, I don’t want ya to feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry, I can go…”

“No.” Your uninjured hand shot out and grabbed his shirt before you could process what you were doing. Joel glanced down at your fist clutching the material, and then back up into your wide eyes. “Please, no. Stay.”

His lips parted slightly at your request and unexplained (at least from his perspective) hope filling your gaze. He looked so adorable that you had never wanted to kiss him more than right now.

“Come closer,” you pleaded, barely louder than a whisper.

Joel obliged, letting your hand guide him. You gently pulled him to you, so that he was almost standing between your legs, and your fingers loosened their hold, now smoothing over the material of his shirt.

You took a deep breath and leaned forward, bracing your weight on his chest. Joel looked puzzled by your behavior, but when he realized what you were doing, he stopped you gently by putting his own hand on your shoulder.

“No,” he whispered, his voice full of pain, but steady. “Don’t do that. You… you’re in a state of shock.”

“I know what I want,” you spoke equally quietly, staring at him with nothing but pure genuineness and need in your eyes. “And I want you, Joel.”

“Please, ba–” he cut himself off before he could finish this word. It pained him deeply to reject you, but he knew that if he let you kiss him, you’d regret it later. And that he wouldn’t be able to survive. “I’m sorry, sweet girl, but it wouldn’t be right. I don’t wanna be takin’ advantage of you.”

Your face fell in confusion and disappointment, but you didn’t let him go even when he put a light pressure on your hand.

“You never..” you gulped, searching his face, “thought about it? About… me, in that way?”

Christ, what was he supposed to say to that? He wouldn’t be able to lie to you, not if you kept looking at him with those innocent and full of desire eyes of yours.

“Don’t ask me.” Joel closed his eyes, the muscle in his cheek pulsing when he felt your touch on the side of his face. “Please, don’t ask me.”

“Because I have,” you continued in a sudden rush of courage. “I think about you constantly, and about us. Every time I invite you over or see you in the town working... And I’m only saying all that, because I thought maybe… maybe you felt it, too. I think you do.” Joel didn’t answer, and you looked up at him with determination you didn’t really feel. “Tell me.”

Joel clenched his jaw, exhaling heavily, but didn’t pull away. He weighed the options in his mind while you waited patiently, and finally, his resolve cracked under your hopeful gaze.

“I think about you,” he began slowly, earnestly, “every night. Every fuckin’ night and day, sweetheart.” His voice was raspy, but that drawl of his so soft and delicious to your ears. “But I shouldn’t. You and I both know that.”

He still hasn’t looked your way. You tried to lean to the side to fit in his field of vision, but Joel turned away even more, attempting to take a step back. You grabbed his shirt again before he could do that, and he didn’t fight you.

“Why not?” you whispered, transfixed on his handsome features.

“‘Cause you deserve better. I’m way too old for you,” he answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, like you should know it already. “You have so many admirers who are probably much more fit for you, and it would be… it is so wrong that I’m lettin’ those thoughts linger.”

“I don’t want any of them, though.” Joel finally locked eyes with you, but still seemed conflicted. You slowly let go of his clothes and reached for his hands, then guided them to your cheeks. You saw his throat bob nervously when you placed them there and brushed his knuckles with your thumbs. “Look, it’s hard for me to open up, but… I really like you. Really.”

Joel swallowed heavily, his face contorted in pain – as if your words were wounding not only his soul, but his very flesh. Then the pressure on your cheeks became a little stronger, and he tentatively swiped his thumbs under your eyes in a loving manner. Your heart fluttered like a hummingbird’s wings as he slowly scanned your face for any sign of hesitancy, then let his eyelids drop and pressed his forehead to yours. You lifted your chin slightly, nudging his nose with the tip of yours.

“Call me that again,” you whispered pleadingly. His wooden, earthly scent was enveloping all your senses, making you feel so very calm and safe. You’d gladly lose yourself in him. “Please.”

Joel instantly knew what you meant. His resolve was wavering and his body giving in, but the doubt was still there in his mind. The fear that he was somehow reading you wrong.

“Don’t beg me, sweet girl.” His breath was on your lips, beckoning you even closer. “M’too weak for that.”

“Please,” you repeated more urgently, and when he didn’t move, you turned your head and pressed your lips to the inside of his wrist tenderly. “Joel.”

He cursed softly. It appeared that the tension between you both was getting to him, too, and Joel was losing the battle he fought with himself. He lowered his lips to the edge of your jaw, his pupils blown wide and eyelids heavy, almost as if he was under a spell. You whimpered when he withdrew one of his hands on your cheeks, but the loss was quickly replaced by relief when he moved it to the small of your back, pulling you closer and flush against his body.

“You sure about this?” he murmured lowly, making you shiver against him. His nose traveled along your jaw and the column of your neck, then back up until his lips brushed the shell of your ear. “I don’t want ya to regret it.”

“I won’t,” you promised. “Please, baby.”

Your plea sent a shiver down his spine. Joel couldn’t hold back anymore, didn’t want to. It was clear you wanted him, and he never was a strong enough man to deny you anything.

Your eyes met, and Joel took a second to get his heart under control. You were so beautiful, and your skin so soft under his touch… He tilted your chin up, barely able to comprehend that all of it was really happening, that it was you who put his hands on yourself. And you wanted him to kiss you.

For fuck’s sake, you begged him to.

All the remaining traces of his self-control evaporated in a heartbeat, and he pulled you in, pressing your body closer before bringing his lips to yours, locking them in a soft kiss.

His mouth molded perfectly to yours, causing you to sigh with relief at the gentle caress. You felt heat pooling in your stomach, and you were glad for sitting down because your weak knees would surely buckle under you in different circumstances. The intensity of the kiss gradually grew until it became so heated that you had to grab a fistful of Joel’s hair on the nape of his neck for support.

At one point, Joel pried your lips away, searching your eyes with concern. You worried that he was having second thoughts, but the longer he looked at you, the more his own irises darkened with lust and insatiable hunger, making your face burn like it was on fire. His clear want and the knowledge that you were the cause of it made you feel powerful, but somehow at the same time completely naked under his gaze.

Without any warning, he dived back in, his wide palm enveloping one side of your face while he tangled the other hand in your hair. He tugged on it, probably a little rougher than he intended, eliciting a needy moan from your chest. You instantly felt embarrassed about your response, but when you tried to pull away, Joel practically growled, not letting you turn away.

“S’alright, baby,” he rasped, trailing hot kisses down your neck, making your breath hitch in your throat. “Keep makin’ those pretty sounds for me.”

You felt dizzy. Like he could make you melt from the tone of his voice alone.

Having his lips on yours felt better than you have ever imagined, and so perfect that you never wanted this moment to end. But one thought kept nagging at you, making it harder and harder to focus, and finally after some time Joel softly drew away. He sent you a soft, almost shy smile.

“What is it, sweetheart? Not havin’ second thoughts, I hope?”

It hit you in that moment that it wasn’t the first time he looked at you with so much warmth and affection in his eyes. You just never noticed before that he always looked at you this way.

“No, no,” you hurried to reassure him. “Just something… Something I wanted to do for a while.”

He raised his eyebrows playfully. “Somethin’ other than kissin’ your handsome neighbor?”

You clicked your tongue at his unexpected cockiness.

“Not exactly.” Your answer only made him more intrigued, and you grinned. “Indulge me and take a step back.”

Joel squinted suspiciously, but eventually humored you. You bit your lip, feeling giddy at finally having a chance to do something you thought about every time this infuriatingly handsome man was in your house.

His eyes followed the tip of your tongue when it ran across your bottom lip… and you took this moment to hook your thumbs on his tool belt and yank him forward.

Your lips connected again, though it was far from perfect – your teeth clashed together and your noses collided, causing you both to yelp in small pain and discomfort, but you didn’t let go of him. Your joy from this silliness lasted only a couple of seconds, though, because before long Joel started to laugh uncontrollably.

You huffed and tried to kiss him again, but he withdrew out of your reach, wrapping his arms around your waist with a big, goofy smile.

“Get back here.”

“What the hell was that, sweetheart?”

His eyes crinkled in amusement and you felt a bit foolish from what you just did. You turned your gaze down, but Joel lifted your chin with his fingertip, and you couldn’t help but smile, too, when you saw how happy he looked.

“It looked more romantic in my head,” you murmured with an awkward chuckle. “I actually wanted to do it the first time I saw you with that belt on.”

“S’that so?” Joel asked and kissed you briefly again, this time with a hint of hunger he was keeping at bay until now. “You like seein’ me in it?”

“I really, really do,” you whispered, hiding your face in his chest. “I don’t know why, but it look so fucking hot on you…”

“My dirty baby,” Joel purred into your hair. The bright grin on his face only grew when he heard you groaning in embarrassment. “Gimme a kiss.”

You didn’t move, not wanting to face him, so Joel opted to nuzzle the sensitive skin of your neck with his nose. “You’re adorable, y’know that? Don’t get all shy on me now, babygirl.”

A deep sigh escaped your chest and the tension in your shoulders lessened. Joel smirked into the crook of your neck, still planting soft kisses on your skin. His lower back was starting to ache from the position, but there wasn’t anywhere else he’d rather be.

And then all the discomfort in his body was put in the shade when you moaned quietly, pressing yourself against him more and wrapping your arms around Joel’s neck.

“Do you wanna get back to my room?” you asked after a while, and Joel hummed into your skin, now littered with love bites his lips and teeth left in their wake.

“You want me to fix that shelf of yours?” he teased back, making you snort.

“Just wanna cuddle with you. If that’s okay.” You nuzzled into his neck, and added quietly. “I can still feel his touch on me. And I only wanna feel you.”

Though Joel would be more than okay with that, by the sounds you were making and the look you were giving him, he doubted that’s all you’ll be doing. Still, his back hurt like hell and he almost let out a relieved groan at the thought of laying down.

“If you want me, baby. If you want me, then I’m all yours.”

Not a week has passed, and Joel had to get his toolbox out again – this time to fix your broken bed.

Though now he knew exactly what caused the damage.

[midnightcrw]

hi if u don't mind could u pls write sth where simon and his wife wanna have a baby but the doctor says it may be risky for her to get pregnant so they kinda have an argument bc simon is reluctant due to the potential complications and he's afraid to lose her but she tries to reassure him that it's gonna be ok and says she's gonna be careful and make sure she's absolutely ready just sth angsty where he's worried about her😭💔

Pregnancy Risk

Pairing: Simon Ghost Riley x fem!reader

Summary: You and Simon want to have a baby, but it seems there might be complications...

a/n: I hope you all will like this. I was very unsure how to write it, but then I came up with this. I'm also on the train right now. I'm very excited because I've never been to Paris before.

It was silent in your living room as you and Simon were sitting on the couch.

The two of you hadn't spoken since the doctor's visit, almost too afraid to say a word.

The only sound that could be heard was the ticking of the clock, and it seemed to make you both more nervous with each passing second.

"Simon, I still want to try," you whispered as you looked up from the floor at your husband.

You had wanted a baby for so long, and you were willing to at least try.

After the words left your mouth, Simon was torn from his thoughts as he clenched his hands into fists, closed his eyes, and breathed out.

"I don't think we should. You heard what the doctor said," Simon's voice was clear and monotonous, not letting his actual emotions be heard.

"But we can still try. After all, the doctor only said that it might lead to complications," you looked him straight in the eye, wanting to show him that you were willing to try, even if it might lead to potential complications.

Simon's face grew stern as he processed what you had just said, and he slowly began to lose his patience, "No, we won't try. End of conversation."

With that, he got up and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

He was terrified, even though he didn't show it, he was scared and it felt like his throat was starting to close itself up.

Simon couldn't bear the thought of something happening to you, knowing that he could have prevented it.

He had lost too many people in his life and he wasn't ready to lose another.

But you didn't let up as you followed him into the kitchen, "Simon, please," you pleaded, your voice breaking in the middle of your sentence.

"I said no!" Simon shouted suddenly, making you flinch as you backed away from him, tears beginning to well up in your eyes.

You opened your mouth to protest, but Simon cut you off before a single word could be heard, "We won't try for a child. I don't care if you beg or cry, but we're not having a baby!"

His words were harsh as he looked into your eyes, practically glaring at you, getting closer with each thing he said until he was right in front of you, forcing you to look up at him.

"You heard what the doctor said and I'm not going to let you do this," with that he walked away as tears ran down your face and you sobbed silently.

It wasn't easy for Simon either. He knew he was being harsh with you, but he wanted to get the point across, and he would rather have you hate him than actually try to have a baby that could result in your death.

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours as it was now night. The only source of light was the moon shining through the window.

You were already lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling as you waited for Simon to finish brushing his teeth, wanting to talk to him about it again.

As you mindlessly let your eyes wander, you heard the sound of the door and Simon's footsteps. You looked at him as he made his way to his side of the bed.

It was quiet once again as Simon sat down with his back to you, removing his glasses from his face.

The glasses you had persuaded him to get and wear when the eye doctor said he needed prescription glasses.

When he put them in the box, he wasn't lying down yet. Simon's eyes were now focused on the moon, somehow afraid to lie down next to you.

He regretted yelling at you when you were in a vulnerable position. But he couldn't change it now, it had happened and Simon had to deal with it.

When you saw that Simon didn't lie down, you slowly sat up and thought about what to do, but then you just sighed.

Without making a sound, you wrapped your arms around Simon's broad chest from behind as you kissed his neck.

When he felt your touch, he tensed at first, but then slowly relaxed into your embrace as he felt your kiss.

Your hands drew small circles over his body as neither of you spoke for a while.

This time the silence didn't feel so tense, it almost seemed as if you both needed each other's presence now.

"I'm sorry for shouting and saying that to you," Simon's soft voice broke the silence as you hugged him a little tighter, letting him know that you were listening and that you forgave him.

It was the first time you had heard Simon's voice so defeated and broken. And it was obvious that the news from the doctor was not easy for him either.

"I'm scared," Simon admitted, his voice wavering as he uttered the word 'scared'. Your eyes widened a fraction when you heard that.

Ghost wasn't afraid, he never was. Ghost was the one who did what he wanted without fearing anything that lay in his wake, but Simon...

Simon was different.

Simon was fragile and vulnerable. Even though he had been through so much, he was still scared and afraid of every change that happened in his life.

These two were different and he wasn't even sure who he really was or which one of them was wrong, he just knew that he wanted you by his side no matter what happened.

"I'm more than scared," Simon let out a shaky breath as he continued, "I don't want to lose you.

I know the doctor said it's only a possibility, but there's also the possibility that you could die, even though I could have prevented it.

I don't want your blood on my hands.

I don't want your chest to stop moving when you take a breath.

I don't want your heart to stop beating.

I want you to live, and I'm terrified to hold your lifeless body in my arms," his voice wavered and broke with each sentence, but he had continued anyway.

And when he finished speaking, tears streamed down his face, not even trying to stop them as his hands trembled.

Hearing what he had just said made your own tears roll down your face. Slowly pulling your arms back, you sat down next to him on the edge of the bed, cupping his face in your hands as you moved his face to look at you.

Seeing his face made you so much more emotional as you kissed away his tears, letting your lips linger a moment longer on his forehead.

The feel of your lips on his skin made Simon's breath catch as he looked up at you when you were done peppering his face with kisses.

"I promise I'll be careful. We can go to the doctor regularly to make sure everything is okay. I won't leave you, I don't even want to think about ever leaving you behind," you whispered as you looked into his eyes.

Every word you said made Simon's heart beat faster as he was the one now, who leaned in to kiss you on the lips.

He let his mouth linger on yours for a second before pulling away to hug you tightly, wrapping you in his big arms as he stroked your back up and down, letting your head rest on his shoulder.

"Okay," he breathed out, closing his eyes and breathing in your scent, "we can try."

With that, he kissed your shoulder and whispered 'I love you' into your ear as you squeezed him tighter.

"I love you too."

[mingi-s-dimples]

splash of desire - wooyoung

pairing: enemy & teammate!wooyoung x fem!reader

rating: 18+ (filth)

genre: enemies to lovers, filthy smut (mdni ty)

summary: your captain makes you share a room with your death enemy, who also happens to be your teammate.

WC: 3.1k

warnings: non idol au, dystopian (strictland), brat dom!wooyoung x even brattier!reader, cocky!wooyoung, cursing, cussing out, threats (once or twice, death threat once and knife once), size kink, shower sex, overstim, orgasm control, ruined orgasm (twice f), oral (m), foreplay (f & m), blowjob, choking (both by dick and by hand), handjob, hair pulling, pet names ( ), making out, deepthroating, slight dacryphilia, one scene with pleading/begging, completely consensual, unprotected (booo use protection irl!!!), death enemies to lovers, completely unedited & might edit later, totally forgot to mention something.

Author's Note: Enemies to lovers... shower sex AND Wooyoung? give me 14 thank you. I wrote this in ONE DAY... like 4 hours or something? I think it took me longer to actually re edit/write the entire fic rather than initially writing it 😭. My utmost fave part was when Wooyoung said he wouldn't back off if he kissed her !?!??! I'm afraid I'm in love with how I wrote this fic keisjs (I always say this). Anyways, enjoy my fic ! 🫶🏻 (also I'm on the rollll I'm still on vacation LMAO I got really bored.. and horny so, once again, enjoyyy) - wrote this together w my bestie, she chose a plot - i only had the smut in mind upsi - tysm Lis for helping me ajisebs love youuu .

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction & does not represent in any way the reality of the member.

You were apart of ATEEZ, a well known group of outlaws, rebelled against the Strictland Government. They were some.. entities, which distrupted the initial normal world with all of their activities. Hongjoong, your captain, suddenly decided to part the whole team on small groups, of 2 people, because the latest mission almost failed tragically. He thought that it happened because we were too many in the same place. In the end, he chose Wooyoung to team up with you and.. neither of you were happy about it. In fact, you started bickering with both Hongjoong and Wooyoung, because for some reason Hj thought that you's be better off on a mission with Woo. Little did he know that you'd actually kill him even before the mission started if you had the chance.

You looked at Hj in disbelief.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM ON MISSION WITH WOOYOUNG?"

You let out a heavy sigh, giving a piercing stare to Wooyoung.

"WHY HIM, OUT OF ALL PEOPLE? Captain. Please... please... put me on another team.." you said pleading, almost begging Hongjoong, but to no avail.

"Nope, end of discussion. You are going to do as I said. You both have one hour to prepare and pack things. I already made a reservation for a hotel hot too far from here. We gotta stay united but not in the same place, it's too risky."

"Guess we'll need to tolerate each other, y/n. I won't try to kill you, I promise." Wooyoung said, giving you the death stare with a smirk.

Hongjoong left the room, giving you a stare. He tried so hard not to burst out laughing, knowing you were pissed at him for pairing you with Wooyoung.

And here you were, in your own, nice and little room... but private. In 2 hours you were gonna live with your death enemy, which happened to also be your teammate, in the same hotel room. Ironic, isn't it? How much you hated him, his face, his cocky and bratty attitude. Everything about him made you curse at him on a daily basis. But now, you were gonna be closer to him than ever. You didn't even know what to say about it... you were just.. in disbelief.

*2 hours later*

"Oookay guys. Here is your room, you only have one bed tho, we can't afford a bigger room for now. Please don't fight, don't try to kill each other and please, for fucks sake, don't bomb the place. Enjoy your time" Hongjoong said, letting out a small chuckle.

He knew sth you didn't know.

"Okay. Dissappear, please. I don't want to see you this early in the morning." you said to Wooyoung, staring him down. You took a cigarette out of your pocket and lit it, going om the balcony to ease your mood.

"We both know you love me, y/n, don't act like this" He said teasingly, approaching you slowly.

"Fuck you, don't piss me off. Go away! " you said, pushing him away.

"Fine. I'll be in the room if you need me" he whispered.

"Fuck off you bitch" you whisperer, not letting him hear you.

You took your phone out of the pocket and dialed Hongjoong.

"Joong please! I can't live with this brat! We've been in the same room for 3 minutes and we already started bickering! Please change the layout... " you pleaded.

But you didn't hear anything. Instead, he hung up in you, giving you the final answer.

"Oh cmon, you fucker" you said to yourself.

*several minutes later*

You decided to go back in the room after smoking quite a few cigarettes. After all, you were trying to distract yourself from the situation.

But it didn't last long.

"Huh? where the fuck did he go?"

"Well, better for me, I won't see his face for a while. Maybe he's planning to kill me? I wouldn't be surprised"

You later decided to go take a shower to ease your muscles after the mission you had 2 days ago, but to your surprise and horror.. you met Wooyoung's gaze in the hall, right besides the bathroom's door. He was halfway naked, t-shirt on the floor and only in his briefs. You were trying to look away but.. froze. You stared him from head to toe, stopping at his collarbones, then at his waist... his underwear. He was.. packing.

"For fucks sake, Wooyoung! What are you doing?" you finally said, after eye fucking him for a long minute.

"What does it look like I'm doing? Chill, I wanted to take a shower. Unless you wanna join me?" he said laughing, but seeing your flustered face made his gaze darken.

"Oh.. maybe you want to join me after all, judging from your stare, hm?" he said, approaching you.

"Fuck off! Don't you touch me, what the fuck!" you said and slapped him, looking horrified in his eyes at what you just did. You always bickered and fought with him but never in your right mind thought about hitting him.

"Ouu, feisty." he said and slammed your wrists to the wall, right above you.

"The fuck are you doing?!" you said trying to escape his grip but to no avail. He was strong.. and besides being strong you made him mad.

"Oh kitten, I've seen your gaze. You've been eye fucking me for a while, is that right?" he whispered right into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

*click*

He closed the door with his left hand. You had nowhere to go. But... did you want to leave?

"Wooyoung it's not funny, I hate everything about you."

He tilts his head at your words.

"Come again, darling? I didn't quite hear you."

"You're fucking annoying, don't get on my nerves" you said, squirming and trying to get away from his grip. But with every word and every sentence he was saying, your force dissipated and you were starting to give in... maybe you wanted him after all?

You had a window of freedom and took something out of your pocket.

"Ouuu, a knife? Are you trying to perhaps flirt with me?" he said smiling, tightening his grip on your wrists.

"Drop it. I can't guarantee your safety with that shit around me, y/n." he said and took it from your hands.

"Shut the fuck up"

"Make me, love"

You gulped. You never thought that your... death enemy would turn you on but.. here you are, arousal pooling in your panties and trying to keep your composure and not jump on him in that instant. He was staring you down, you could feel how his eyes were eating you right there. He closed the gap between your bodies, you could feel his briefs getting thighter against your thighs.

"Wooyoung.. ? The fuck are you doing?" You said flustered, looking at the bulge forming in front of you.

"Perhaps I want to fuck you or... leave you hanging? Either way... it's so much fun seeing you this flustered... you've never been like this. It makes me go insane" he said, leaning in, hovering his lips over your collarbones.

You didn't try to run away now. You almost fully gave in but... there was still something holding you back. Was he always like this? Was he.. always into you.. like this? All these thoughts were driving you insane as you felt your cunt wetting your jeans. Did you want to give in? Did you want to leave? Your body was telling you something.. while your mind was telling you otherwise. But... you wanted to give in. Truth is... you've always wanted to fuck him. To fuck the cockiness and brattiness out of him. To see him flustered, to find out why he's always been bratty with you and only you.

Though.. he continued before letting you say something.

"You know... the problem is.."

He said as he leaned in, staring at your lips with hunger and thirst.

"If I touch you... or kiss you... I don't think I'll be able to back off."

He said... waiting for the slightest response from you.

"Wooyoung -" you mustered your courage to say, touching his lip with your thumb after he loosened the grip on your hands.

He took that as a yes.

Wooyoung leaned in for a kiss, one of his hands holding your wrists above and the other one on your waist, all touchy.

"To be honest with you, y/n"

He stopped for a moment.

"I've always wanted to do this"

He said as he leaned in for a deeper, sloppier kiss. His hand going down to your ass, trying to feel you up in every way possible.

"I hate you, Wooyoung."

"No. babe. You hate the fact that you actually want me" he said, planting a kiss on your neck.

And that was it.. you were making out with your death enemy. Tongues interlocking, lewd sounds being heard in the whole room. His hands going down to your pants and your hands on his shoulders, he took you in his hands and put you on the washing machine in the bathroom. In the meantime, you could feel his hands all touchy around your waist. He was not that shitty, after all. He was waiting for you to fully give in before making any move that would make you uncomfortable. But as he said... you'd been eye fucking him for a while now.

You unzipped your pants and he took them off. His hands going back to your ass, now tugging at your panties. As soon as he touched your thigh, really close to your cunt, you flinched.

He stopped.

"Hm? why did you stop"

"You flinched. All good w me all over you?"

"Yes."

"Okay, good girl" he said. smiling.

"Fuck you, Wooyoung"

"Oh yes, please." he said and went in for a wild sloppy kiss, biting your lower lip while he took of your panties and bra. You were already bare in fron of him while he still had his briefs on... which you took care of in a second. You first started touching his tip through the cloth, feeling how hard it has gotten these past few moments. He didn't lie, after all. He really wanted to fuck you... judging from all the pre cum leaking through. You tugged at them and took them off only halfway before his cock sprung up out of the enclosed briefs.

You gulped.

"Hm? did you say something, love?"

"Are you... perhaps.. surprised?" he said, chuckling at the view he had. Your hand was resting on his dick, which was halfway out of his underwear. He was right... you were fucking surprised at how big he was.

"N-no" you said flustered. He could see the look on your face. You wanted to fuck him right there.

He left you sitting on the washing machine.

"Where the fuck are you going? Don't piss me off, you started this" you said, staring at him.

"Wait a moment, I'm just gonna do something" and as he finished talking, he turned on the shower.

"Oh, my fucking god." You gasped.

"Wooyoung.." you said but couldn't finish your sentence as he took you in his grip and dropped you off in the shower, the water dripping off your collarbones.

"Didn't you want to take a shower, woman? The fuck you looking at" he said before one of his hands went straight to your neck, receiving a choked whimper from you.

"Ooh, you're a cocky one, hm?" he said as you stopped showing him how much you wanted him.

"You're one to talk, Wooyoung" you said and right after you finished your sentence he pushed you on the wall, your breasts against the wall and your back arched for the man behind you.

"Stay still, babe." he said as he slapped your ass, holding onto it for dear life. He was resting his dick on your folds, rubbing against them for a moment.

"Fucking god.. y/n. I hate how good you feel"

He said as he pushed only his tip in.

"It makes me want to destroy the fuck out of you"

He said as he pushed himself fully into your cunt, receiving a loud moan from you.

"Wooyoung ! " you shouted, trying to hold onto something. He had other plans. He took your hair into a fist and with his other hand he held onto you, bottoming out with every single one of his thrusts. It hurt but oh god... you never thought he'd fuck this good. You were holding on for dear life, the wall slippery from the water running on you and your knees weak.

"I'm not even - oh"

"Sweating yet, babe." You said, stopping in the middle because of one of his thrusts.

"Is that really all you - g-got?" you muffled.

"Hm? You want more, huh? What a needy cunt you have." he said, burying his face into the nape of your neck, still holding on your hair, pulling it back. "Isn't this good to you, darling? Hm?" he said as he slowed down his thrusts, but going deeper as ever.

"Oh - my god" you whimpered, arousal dripping from your folds, as he pulled out for a moment.

"The fuck are you doing" you said annoyed, cause he stopped you from catching your high.

"You said you didn't even sweat so I stopped. I thought you meant I'm not good enough to you"

"You're a damn nuisance, Wooyoung. I can see your dick throbbing. Did you really want to stop?" you said, smiling at the view.

"Not your damn business. Quite a mouth you have, it seems like you need someone to put you in your place" he said as he manhandled you. He turned you around and pushed you on your knees, his cock on your cheek, rubbing on it while his hand was holding your hair.

"Got something to say, y/n? Are you finally.. quiet?" he said, looking down at you.

"Never, you fucker"

"Ohh, bratty. I love it" He said as he pushed his dick in your mouth, feeling it right in the back of your throat, tears swelling in your eyes. His dick was girthy... you could feel how it stretched your mouth so well. This brat also didn't let you adjust to his size. Having no room to breath, you were choking on his tip, but little did he care. He loved seeing you helpess, fucked dumb and being sucked by you.

When he pulled out for a short second you coughed, gasping for air.

"You're.. cute" he said chuckling, stroking your head while you had his dick on your lips.

"You bet" you said and you softly bit his tip, receiving a moan from him.

"Fuck you, y/n. This is how we are, hm? Fuck that hurt" he said, looking down at you, plotting something.

He kneeled and pushed you around. He wanted you to sit on all fours.

"Ass up, babe. On all fours. Turn around, on a side. Now." he said and even before having time to move, he manhandled you how he wanted. You were now sideways on your knees and hands.

"Suck."

And you obeyed. But little did you know he had completely other plans that you were bound to find out as soon as you felt the free hand, the one that wasn't holding your hair, on your spine right down to your ass. He used two of his fingers to spread out your wet, dripping folds. One of it rubbing on your clit, the other one slowly finding it's way in your cunt. He curled his finger inside you, making you arch your back and stop sucking him off. You gasped at the sensation.

"Damn, I never thought you'd be this hot sucking me off like the little whore you are. Wanna cum, hm? I can see it on your face. All flustered up and weak for me" he said, pushing two fingers inside you.

He was right, you were so close to finishing, barely standing on your knees. Your hands were slipping, trying to hold yourself up on his thighs.

"Stop" he said.

"W-what why" you said angrily, looking at him and gasping when he pulled out his fingers, your cunt clenching on nothing.

"You fucker, it's the 2nd time you've fucked with my orgasm. What's your problem, want me to kill you?" you shouted, weak in your knees as soon as he put his hand on your neck.

"Hmm.. maybe I love seeing you so desperate for me. For my dick, for my fingers. But... did you just say you'd.. kill me? Is that right, babe?" he said as he choked you, staring you up and down.

"We'll see about that. Get up and face me. Now." he said, waiting for you to obey.

He then lifted you up right on his dick, placing your hands on his shoulders. One of his hand was holding you from below and with one he was leaning against the wall, not letting your head hit the hard tile in the shower.

"Wooyoungh-h, I gotta-" you muffled.

"Use your words, pretty. I didn't quite understand"

"I gotta, mhhm, c-cum"

"Like, now" you said and let out a muffled moan, trying to look back at Wooyoung.

"Nu-uh babe, I didn't yet."

He stopped for only a second.

"Let's make a deal. Cum at the same time as me. Won't be that hard, right? I can see on your face that you're out of it. Now... cum." he said and started wildly thrusting into you, with so much speed and deepness, with the hand he was leaning against the wall on your clit, rubbing circles on it while closing the distance between you two.

It was like... what? the 3rd time you we're close to it and he was playing with you. But he wasn't a brat until the end and you both came, still thrusting into you so you could take up his load right up your cunt.

As both of you were coming down from your highs, he leaned down to put you down in the tiles and sat besides you.

"Y/n... I never thought this would happen but.. oh my god. You felt so good..." he said while giving you soft kisses on your forehead. He hovered the shower over you, washing you up. You've never seen that side of him. The nice, loving one.. but you loved it.

"Wooyoung.. when I tell you I GULPED when I saw you in the hallway. I was going insane !"

"Then.. up for a round 2?" he said laughing.

"Shut the fuck up, it's late and we need to wake up early as fuck!" you said, scoffing.

"Fine, fine. I'll pass on it tonight. But... what about tomorrow night? We could try the bed, too. It looks pretty sturdy." he said smirking.

"Wooyoung, for fucks sake! SHUT UP!" you said running out of the bathroom, your cheeks flushed from what he just said.

"Dammit, this fucker"

[pressplay-if]

This new chapter is so real. It made me remember many things i’ve forgotten from my hospital/treatment days. Not in a bad way but hitting quite close to home. One thing I remembered was how our doctors and counselors viewed friendships/relationships between patients. Communicating outside was pretty frowned upon and being in a relationship with another patient would get out kicked out at the very least. Anyway, the part that really hit was the phone call. The effect that continuing these relationships can have when both parties are in different places in their journey. It’s tough because you bond over something heavy something you might hide from others in your life. Something that is a big part of you, something that you struggle with. In a way it’s like you can be your true self. Without having to put up the facade to keep those around from being uncomfortable. It gives the friendship a sort of depth. But we all progress and heal at different rates. It’s not a one size fits all situation when in comes to treatment. I have been in both positions. Being the person stuck while others come and go. Then later having to move on needing to do what is best for me. It’s difficult for both. But hearing about relapses or certain thoughts from a friend. When you have finally found some stability or are close to falling back into old habits. It can be so triggering. Which makes you have to decide. Do I stick with this person who I connected with at my lowest point? When I am so easily reminded of things i’ve barely just moved on from. Or do I let go and focus on the future? It sucks either way. But it does explain why the doctors say what they say about patient relationships. Though I know it’s not like that for every situation. Anyway, sorry for so many words! I probably have more to say but imma chill out. Just wanna say WOW! Loving the story, it’s relatable(maybe I shouldn’t be too proud of that idk) and thought-provoking. Really got me thinking about things which I don’t normally do. And it ain’t actually that bad. Hope my words made sense. Great work👍🌈😃

So this was the first ask about the second chapter that I got and can I just say thank you?? 🙏

I was so nervous and reading this so soon after it came out was so immensely relieving to me. Back where I was, patient relationships didn't get you kicked out, but we did have a couple and everyone kinda knew they were together but refrained from addressing it bc we all just agreed it'd make things way too messy if we did. Even though, literally, everyone knew. Very much an Anthony/Abigail situation haha.

And yes, your words made a lot of sense to me and they're really appreciated. I, too, have been in both positions--- I think it might be a natural part of a lot of people in that "recovering from mental illness" cycle, even if it's a really unpleasant one. You create this bond over sth so horrible, and you understand each other, for as long as you're both suffering. Then when you start to move away from that, life gets easier but the friendship gets complicated. That's my experience, at any rate. I'm really glad to have hit close to home with this bc that's really what I was intending.

[ganondoodle]

was at my sisters house to watch the cats a bit and played some botw again after a long time, spent an hour running around phirone (faron) and checking out all the cool sonau (zonai) stuff and i felt a wave of sadness wash over me, those ruins there feel so ... heavy with story, with sadness of tragedy, with the thrill of the unkown, yet its revealed to be nothing in totk, i honestly dont feel like the sonau of botw and of totk are at all releated tbh, theres like, NO design overlap besides sometimes some dragon-like figures that feel more like they put them into totk just to have some connection at all-

the botw sonau ruins are all full of curves hewn into dark stone with red accents, theres swirls and snakes everywhere, appropriately withered by time and weather- it was already a stupid idea to replace the shiekah tech with literally another ancient highly advanced civilaztion, but then to not even make them look or feel at all connected to the little things that were there?? totk sonau is white stone and gold and green, its all extremely angular and clean cut, together with weird hologram shit that reads, somehow, as both unfittingly techy to everything else while also neither mechnical nor magical

its fucking bonkers, i know they put some totk sonau bullshit into some of the ruins in totk, like the main ones in phirone but like, especially in that case with the direct comparison its so jarring and artificial, and i hate the excuse of "hylians built those different looking buildings as a monument to the sonau", like we needed more shitty excuses for bad writing decisions- the ancient AND current hylian stuff aligns more with totk sonau stuff, why would they adopt a completely different style to built shit around actual sonau stuff that somehow also looks like it was abandoned like, 50 years, 100 years ago, not over TEN THOUSAND years ago, both the botw sonau ruins and the shiekah tech look more ancient than anything totk sonau

and what for??? i imagine more botw sonau style ruins and like, thats entirely possible, why make it sth utterly different and give it a shitty excuse?? its so unnecessary?? like okay make the wheels out of withered stone hanging together like clumps by invisible magic like how the iwaroks (the .. stone enemy) works- i still would like it sicne i dont like the whole building thing in botws world, but at least it would feel like truly magic bs and fit into the design of botw sonau (even though im still not over NOTHING ever hinting that they were one step away from spaceships hologram aliens, the refusal to work with the stuff they themselves have put into their games drives me up a wall, YOU PUT IT THERE! DO SOMETHIGN WITH IT!)

just to put some modern tech into it? was it worth it?? (no)- and there i could even go on about how much i hate the 'tech' design too, its too little mechanical to be called 'tech' but too modern tech like to call it 'magic', (a balance which the shiekah tech did tremendously well imo) i keep being impressed with how conflicting and incoherent design and story can be in this one single overpriced game

(the reason them making it so modern techy looking was so players would immediately know what it was apparently and i just ... doesnt that make it more boring? like instead of the shiekah stone(slate) they just put a flip phone with numbered buttons and all and give it a vaguely stone texture? instead of like, a guardian with its spider legs and strange creepy design, just put a fucking tank there??? (and like, in a way i feel like the fact that they still tried to not make it look too modern by putting that green texture on it and like, a face here and there, makes it WORSE, a bad cover up is worse to me than none at all, like a shitty explanation can make sth worse than no explanation at all *ahem* literally every interview they did >:C )

also i dont know how you could even design a fan so it doesnt look like a fan? you dont need to put in literal car wheels with suspension and all in there to make it clear its a wheel bc how would you even design a wheel so it doesnt read like a wheel???

since when did they get so anxious about players not understanding something?? the whole series was built on puzzles of varying difficulty, whats with the sudden loss in trust in the player?? botw was already pretty easy but in totk the whole game treats you like you cant think or remember sth for more than 30 seconds to the point it gets actively agonizing to play through- the same two sentences of unimportant info repeated and shown to your face over and over, both in story and gameplay- and even with their immediately readable design choices for the sonau 'tech' they made half teh shrines either sloggingly slow tutorials or one puzzle shrines that are dedicated to teach you how the obvious thing works when you really learn it all on the literal tutorial island AND its obvious from the start BECAUSE THEY WANTED IT TO BE OBVIOUS!! its fun to figure things out and try stuff, its no fun to have a step by step guide glued to your forehead at all times especially when its so obvious, yes thanks for teaching me that a literal fire hydrant spits out water!! wow! never thought about that! thanks for telling me it 5 times too!! (even if it annoys me that they can just do that when not connected to the ground .. would have been more fun to make puzzle with if they were,,), its part of why i felt like the game was so condescending or outright laughing at me-

why even try to teach me how a fan works over and over when like, there arent even any creative things you can do with it in a reasonable amount of time and its never needed or incentivised either bc the game just hands you the literal solution or at the very least give you the four parts or what that you need to make what you need, like pulling apart two bricks of baby lego in fornt of a toddler to see if they can put them back together once you hand it to them

and dont come at me with the "its for kids" argument, the old games were too and theres alot of stages of 'kid', they arent stupid either and nintendo should know that they have alot of adult fans too, it doesnt need to be dark souls and its allowed to have easy stuff in there but the fact that it never gets any more challenging is the problem, yes part of the fun in games can be making your own rules and messing around but it really shouldnt be controversial to want a 70 bucks game to offer a fun experience without you having to make it fun all on your own (i for one dont enjoy spending 30 minutes glueing togehter a tank with ear shattering lasers just to inefficiently beat up 3 bokblins i could just swing my sword at for a few seconds instead and are not worth the materials spend anyway)

in the end it would have been less immersion breaking and more fun if they straight up put a honda civic into the game you can summon anywhere at no cost (hmmmm where did they just do it before hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm) and transforms like a batmobile to fly around in rather than the weird sonau nuts and bolts hassle you have to put up with, costs stuff, can waste hours of your time and despawn as soon as you look away from it unless you want to make le funny tiktok videos i guess

its such a waste too bc the mechanic itself IS impressive, but its utterly missplaced in this game, it would have needed its own, truly own, game built around it, placing it in botws world is like dumping a bunch of knock off brand toys into a world that felt believable and meaningful turning it to feel like its really just a game for you to mess around in, never has a game felt more gamey to me and it SUCKS to have that magic pulled away like that, silly me for letting them make me care about it i guess

maybe its petty but as someone how really cares alot about design stuff, both visually and gameplay wise, it makes me furious to think about (as you can tell) .. also hyperfixation go brrrrrrr

(this is obviously my view on it, writing this to get it out, not to argue, i believe i have heard all the arguments already anyway and by this point all that is left is just insulting me directly lol)

[pseudophan]

Nora!!! Just got back from the Warsaw show and I haven't been on here in a bit (avoiding spoilers) so I genuinely can't tell if this show was the worst or the best so far.

My friend and I genuinely thought that the cum bracelet thing was scripted cause it was so convenient lmao

There was also sth wrong with the screen and it looked like it had a grey square on it, so Dan at the start pointed at it and said "that's my last braincell" or sth like this aodjossussns

And also for the role model thing they were trying sooo hard to spell yaoi correctly it was so fucking funny, it took both of them a few minutes to spell it by letter and then it was like yaoe for a bit (lawyer-Dan apparently banned it)

Also I was stressing for Phil's life cause during the confessions part he asked for water (brother Gabriel? I think) and was sipping on it after they changed (he stayed in shorts too) and when the dancing started I was genuinely worried that he's gonna pass out...I think before they started Dan did kind of like a "check" with him? Like a glance of "you good"?

I hope that some time later they won't be like "oh yeah, that Warsaw show? That was horrific, we thought that Phil'd die"

help meee oh i hope they don't film that twitter video tomorrow they need to REST 😭 i feel like maybe phil had a migraine :( which i assumed would happen but. i'm glad he didn't actually pass out

apart from phil nearly dying though i think this show is definitely up there it sounded extremely unhinged. the cum bracelet really added to it, i love that phil was like please don't throw things ... which, as someone who threw something on stage at ii, teehee not that sorry

welcome to the spoiler zone!! go check out the titspoilers tag people have been very funny the past week

[nalyra-dreaming]

I can't stop thinking about that Assad interview when he said that Armand hates how much he loves everything about Lestat. Why do you think he does that? Because Lestat rejected him and he's embarassed that he still can't get over him or is there sth more to it? And do you think that Louis feels similar way? It feels like he doesn't really want to accept loving him and feels guilty about it and I get why he acts this way but it kinda makes me sad that the both treat loving Lestat as a burden.

I don't think it's "embarrassment" per se, I think it's more the frustration of knowing he fucked it up himself.

Because he and Lestat were thiiiissssssss close to getting it on... and then Armand tried to force Lestat. And that was it.

And no, I do not think Louis feels the same way... at all.

Louis' problem with loving Lestat is self-acceptance. And the fear that Lestat might actually tire of him(!). He literally says that, later in the books, when he goes to Lestat:

When I looked into these green eyes, I saw only Louis, and the words echoing in my mind were Louis’s words. “I know what you need,” he said. “You need one person who is always on your side. Well, I’m ready to be that one now. I don’t know why I tormented you, made you pay for asking, made you come all this way. I always knew I was going to come. Maybe I thought you’d lose interest because I never really understood why you wanted me in the first place. But you’re not losing interest, not even with the whole Court, and so I’ll come. And when you tire of me and want me gone, I’ll hate you, of course.” “Trust me,” I whispered. He was cutting me to the heart and making me happy, and this was pain. “I do,” he said.

So no, not guilty.

Afraid that Lestat will tire of him!!

But that... was never the problem :)

[daenysx]

Hiya darling, I just saw that your requests were open so obviously I had to jump at the opportunity. Could you write sth about Aegon and maybe the reader is his girlfriend? And this time he promises himself to do things right and not just jump into the physical intimacy right away bc he's serious about her. So he's trying to restrain himself, but she's making it hard for him without even knowing, bc everything seemingly innocent turns him on lol. And then she's a bit irritated bc he's getting irritated and keeps pushing her away and she thinks that maybe she did something wrong?

It doesn't need to be pure smut, but if you could make it a bit spicy and fluffy it'd be greatly appreciated! 💖💖

thank you so much for requesting, angel, i tried my best but honestly i'm not sure if this is good enough ♡ i hope you like it! requests are open!!

aegon targaryen x fem!reader modern au (kinda nsfw)

promises

aegon wakes up to an empty bed.

he blinks slowly, his hair falls on the comfy pillow as he adjusts his head, and he feels the spot next to him. the sheets are still warm but you are not there, confusion and curiousity makes aegon's brain fuzzy the first thing in the morning. he sits on bed, rubs his eyes until he feels numb, and leaves the warmth behind him as he steps out of his room.

it is your first sleepover at aegon's, and he is excited by all means. he remembers the night, the wine bottle, and your smiles. you were glowing under the soft lights of his living room, you gave him lots of kisses, and he kissed you back. he remembers leading you to bed, cuddling you under the sheets, and the way you wrapped your arms around him. he buried his face to your neck as you fall asleep and promised not to ruin what he has with you silently.

aegon's kitchen is big enough but he keeps his glasses at the highest shelves. you are trying to get one of them on your tiptoes, wearing an old shirt from his closet and your sleep shorts. he likes seeing you like this, he decides. like you belong in his life.

you get the glass successfully, you fill it with water and drink it all in one go. aegon watches you, leaning to the wall. you finish the water and put your glass on the counter. turning your back, you see your lover waiting for you to realize him.

"good morning, baby." you say, aegon loves hearing the word baby from your mouth.

"morning." he says back. you give him a kiss on his cheek. "slept well?" you ask, even your morning voice is sweet to him. he nods, brushes his lips on your hair and fakes a kiss. you wrap your arms around his waist as you lead him back to his room.

"it's still early." you say.

"maybe we should go back to sleep." aegon says as he holds your hand.

you both find your ways back to bed, aegon lifts the sheets to get under them. he misses your warmth even though you are here with him, it's addictive and he has never been great with his obsessions. the thoughts of being together with you all the time, every way, makes his head spin. he closes his eyes and takes a calming breath.

aegon has a love-hate relationship with promises. the promises he gave to his mom, i'll be good mom, the promises he gave to aemond, and the promises he keeps giving himself. he thinks they make his life worthy somehow, he tries to prove that he is actually capable of doing something he gave his word for. no one has ever told aegon how hard it is to keep a promise, though. he finds himself imagining different scenarios of him breaking all those promises and being somewhat free.

you came into his life when everything was more difficult. he didn't even know what you see in him, why would someone like you stay with him? you deserve sunshine and happiness, aegon has broken memories behind him. not all of them was his fault to be true, but he had his fair share of ruined relationships. he was expecting to ruin the things with you as well, because why not, but it's not going as he'd guessed. it's going actually well, with you.

he is careful not to make any mistakes, the ones he knows from his past anyways. he is careful not to rush into things with you, even though he wants is badly. you in his apartment, playing with his beloved sunfyre, wearing his shirts, kissing him like he's worth it, calling him baby like he deserves it...he wants everything with you.

"i was thinking we could do something other than sleeping." you say gently, getting him out of his thoughts.

"yeah?" he asks, gets comfy on bed as you stroke his hair. "like what, pretty girl?"

you answer by starting a kiss. aegon parts his lips for you, you lean into him. the kiss lasts for seconds, you can see the first lights of the day in the room. you cup aegon's cheek with your one hand while the other twirls his hair between your fingers. aegon kisses you back and you find the courage to take the next step.

you give him one last kiss as he lies on bed, and you throw one leg over his body to get closer to him. you can feel his hardness under your leg and your stomach tightens. you press yourself as an attempt for relief and aegon holds your thigh to keep you steady. he breaks the kiss to look at you with an expression you don't quite like.

he stays still but you think maybe he's pulling away from you, and your courage feels like there's a pit in your chest. you try to pull your leg back but you can't. you try to smile when he frowns, you are almost ashamed that you are pressing yourself to him when he does nothing.

"i'm sorry." you whisper. "i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

aegon looks at you with glassy eyes. "don't be sorry, please. you never make me uncomfortable."

"i mean-" you start, but the words don't come out easily. "i know we didn't really do anything before but i- i thought-"

insecurity starts dripping from your words and aegon would be damned if he ever let you think you are doing something he doesn't want. "no, no, lovely. it's just-" he says, rubbing your skin. "it's all me. i just- didn't want to rush into things and-"

he stops talking and it worries you. "and what?" you ask silently.

"i don't want to lose this." he sounds afraid and broken. "i don't want to lose what we have. i don't want to ruin everything."

he blinks down a slow tear, and it breaks your heart. "aegon." you say. "you think you will ruin things with me just because we get physical?"

the conversation turns serious so quickly. aegon blinks again. "i've never been good in relationships. i want you so much, but i don't mind waiting. you didn't do anything wrong, it's all me."

"baby." you cup his cheek. "you are my boyfriend, and i want to be closer with you. i promise, you wouldn't ruin anything, and it's all good for me."

he tilts his head to see your eyes. "no rush?"

"no rush." you kiss him on his chin. "but still, you don't have to wait."

aegon kisses you and he feels a deadweight has been lifted from his chest. he thinks it's all gonna be okay, now that you know his true intentions. he pulls you on his lap until he sits on bed, he leans against headboard. the kiss takes his breath away, he helps you sit properly on him.

"we can continue if you want, or we can stop here." he whispers to your ear. "anything you want."

"i want you, aegon." you whisper back.

he likes that combination of words. he helps you take your shorts off without leaving the bed, you pull down his sweatpants and his boxers. aegon touches your inner leg, your skin is hot. he drags his fingers further until he finds what he's looking for.

you lift your hips against him, he's getting harder every passing second. you wrap your fingers around him, stroking him until he's fully hard.

"i'm not gonna last if you keep doing that." he says desperately.

"can we stay like this?"

you smile and give him a kiss. your fingers guide him to your entrance and he helps you putting it in by angling himself properly. your wetness slides against him, he tries to find your clit after a moment of catching his breath. you hold the hand on your cunt, bringing it to your mouth to kiss the back of it.

he agrees, he doesn't think he can manage to last long with fast movements and strong strokes. this is grounding and calming, he is fully inside you and you are comfortable on his lap. you keep him inside you as you put your head on his chest. he kisses your hair and rubs your back.

"thank you for being honest with me." you say. aegon realizes your voice gets sleepy and he keeps rubbing your back.

he kisses your forehead as a way of answering. "come on, let's go back to sleep." he slides down on bed to put his head on the pillow.

you nod. "but we'll continue once we wake up."

aegon laughs. "we kinda have to, i don't know how to handle more of your teasings at this point."

"i'm not teasing you!"

"yeah, baby, of course you're not." he rolls his eyes and smiles.

[coniangray]

St5 teaser breakdown

(cus im bored) (spoilers, duh....i think)

All these clips are from the first 2 eps cus ofc they wont wanna spoil more that early into production. Like imagine if this felt too much of a sneak peak, the season is gonna be HUGE and this will feel like the 0.00001% of what it actually is lmao.

The school scenes:

i think first scenes, all from episode one.

The boys will catch a signal from the radio the night prior, paralleling s2e1

but this time either will lives with the wheelers or hes at the radio station and they contact from there.

the signal might be near a military base OR

its henrys signal that needs decoding excactly like the scoop troops did in st3.

So, the dynamics here are gonna be reminicent of both s2 and s3e2.

some quotes like "what are you doing on this channel again" and ''I cracked it", "cracked what?","I cracked the code" are also gonna make the cut. This scene will be paralelled with either mike or dustin, since these two were the brain of the party.

BONUS:

And what did robin also figure out in s4? Oh, wait-

I dont actually know what this code is, but i know it needs all four of them to solve it. And what if, in the background of the signal they catch up on little dream of me playing in the background?

The daisy song being broadcasted was accidental; the russians werent planning on including it there or they just did it as a distraction (they might have recorded the code within the crowd of the mall in brought daylight.) So what if the music, even if there is one at the background, is accidental too? After all, this song is mentioned as victors safe space because he called ella fitzgerald an angel, not henrys.

It all has to do with vecna at the end of the day, given how will touches his neck and feels him. This is an early sign of the symptoms, given how later, after school, they grow bigger and wider, giving will his first vision of the day:

And i dont even need to tell yall what this scene paralels lol

same table, but not same tree.

The code solving talk still continues here, because of how convenient it is to have will see the clock, zone out, walk towards it while the rest of the group talks about vecna and him capturing his victims in manipulative ways. In this scene they will bring up metaphors and allegories, just like they did with chrissy and eddie "do you ever feel like youre losing your mind?","i feel like im going crazy right now, doing a deal with the queen of hawkins high".

Also, like eddie said, this place promises safety because no o ne ever goes out there. SO, my bet is, mike chose they go there since eddie mustve told him right before he died.

bet hell say sth between the lines of "We have to go somewhere private. Somewhere no one can hear us." and thatll be most likely during lunch.

And thats where the bullies come in.

In order to continue their scenes out there, they mustve been interrupted by andy and jasons squad, and teased as to what they were doing with the radio on the table, given the leaks we got back in january or mike and dustin being followed by them.

no i have a feeling that during this arguement (after lunch and before the table scene), andy will attack mike and dustin and will will hopefully give a punch, paraleling el and angela in s4 and joyce in s3. This is my guess here, but i hope its true cus poor boy needs to throw hands with sb.

Spoiler alert it might not happen that day cus all of them are safe and sound without a scratch in the table woods scene.

After the woods scene, dustin visits eddied grave with his bike, which vandalized to the gods and guess who did it; thats right the bullies.

which will probably paralel maxs scene on billys grave

I wanna believe we get a heartfelt speech about his and mikes relationship with eddie, warming the ground for more eddie flashbacks to come. No, he wont get vecnad here, but rather found and beaten up by andi and the bullies, cus he was seen with a bruised face later on

and yes, the projector scene is also from the same day.

Another interesting thing to point out here is how the duffers said that our characters will start the season in action, so all the el scenes fighting vecna in the upside down and all the lights flickering, theyre all from the first 2 episodes.

After school and after the graveyard, with propably a few new scenes taking place in the middle, they all go to the new station set, and as it seems the byers are doing a presentation??

Probably from their experience in the uspide down, or most likely explaining sth about vecnas connection.

Orrr its a group thing, idk.

The thing is, dustin is beaten up standing next to steve. My bets are that hell notice dustin is hurt and make a huge deal about it, argue with the party on why he was found like that in the first place.

This would also be a chance to bring up the dynamics from the previous seasons and their flaws, aka dustin being with steve more time than he was with the party or others.

The thing is, in the same scene we see this;

M4tt showing n0ah how to choke.

Things most likely get heated in this scene, and that triggers wills connection with vecna. The mindflayer activates, and he becomes like billy.

And who else flayed choked sb else prior to this?

LETS GO BABY WE ROLL !!

Will will attack someone, most likely steve, cus he was also shown beaten up later in the teaser, especially in the car scene with nancy n johnathan.

Which leads us to this leak;

Its night, right outside the radio station. My guess is that steve tries to escape but part of him stays cus hell its will that attacks, that boy is harmless, right? While will is just there, chocking him and bagginf him to run.

Its the perfect lead up imo; first he feels the mf getting closer, then he has the vision and then he gets activated.

i feel like this is the cliffhanger between e1 and e2, since it would be perfect to have us waiting for steves safety and wills sanity for the next episode.

Bonus bonus;

Nancys Candy striper outfit

Going undercover in ep 1 was not on mybingo card, so im guessing shes an actual vollunteer at the hospital, because shed have to gain trust in order to sneak in and steal files.

but then again, why from tyhe hospital? all this place has ws maxs condition, which was already known to her and the rest of the team.

Involving her with such type of environment is simply to create more paraelels from the hmh scenes in s3.

Now, we also got this leak from april, and its most likely for ep4

the vollunteer is obviously nancy, but for her to return to that outfit, shell have to wear it again. So that means what i said, she became a vollunteer to gain trust and steal the proper files from the turnbows mansion thats connected to the lab.

Wills outfit also indicates its from a later episode.

As for the hopper scenes, idk a lot to break it down. And for el, this must be in ep 1 since this is unfinished bussiness from the piggyback if u nthink abt it

Thats it, hope you enjoyed my brain fart and i hope im right.

[holy-obsession-batman]

DC x PJO prompt

you know the whole shapeshifter debacle that got Dick and Kory to break up? Let’s replace Mirage by a pjo god.

the next day, Mirage boasts about bedding Dick in front of the Titans the god/dess has vanished, so confusion (but Kory u were with me yesternight?—No I wasn’t—WTF), maybe starts of suspicions of cheating,

Raven finds traces of the Mist in Dick’s room so it’s clear for the Titans that there has been some magic manipulation in this, so he’s a victim*

at some point later, the next day/week/month/s or sth, the god/dess knocks on Titan Tower’s door, shove a baby in a crib in Dick’s arms (not sure that the gods actually spend the nine month of pregnancy. Seems extremely unlikely that these assholes would take the pain when they can just magic it)

The god/dess explains with extreme self satisfaction how he/she changed into Kory—which, already the accomplishment of a fantasy—and managed to trick Dick into sleeping with him/her, then makes a few cryptic allusions to the need to send the kid to CHB in ten-ish years, then vanishes runs away when the fucking pissed Titans attack.

Kory and Dick stay together, and MAKE THE DECISION to keep the kid. I say ‘make the decision’, because it would have been absolutely valid to give up the child to adoption in such traumatic circumstances, especially since the Amazons offered to take the child on Themiscyra. But Bruce ‘serial adopter’ Wayne ain’t raised no quitter so here Dick becomes at 19-ish the dad of a demigod.

The kid is actually disappointed at 13 when they get claimed and learn of their divin parent, because alien princess and superhero Starfire is 10 times more badass a Mom than any fucking rapist god/dess

also as a kid raised by superheroes (and by that I mean not only Dick and Kory, but the whole Batfam, Titans etc.), they are not AT ALL impressed by the HBC heroes-sent-on-death-quests-by-gods bullshit

(those kids are barely the age to be sidekicks, and they got no agency in the choice)

*I’m aware that making the Titans react ‘only’ with the Mist trick of kinda-mind-control can seems like validating the whole victim-blaming they do with Mirage (that Dick should have seen the difference). That’s not my intention. It’s just that Mirage is a Titan, so she knows closely how both Kory and Dick behave to be able to pass as Kory. That’s not the case for the god/dess here, who just doesn’t bother putting a lot of brain effort and use the Mist to smooth over the details.

More hc on that here

Not sure what god/dess it would be tho, I’m taking ideas—here is a poll

[everythingmp3]

late night love

adult!Van x fem!reader

you have a rough day and your girlfriend refuses to let you go to sleep stressed out and on your own.

authors note: I kept thinking about gf!Van and wanted to write sth romantic/casually intimate for her so this came from that <3

warnings: somewhat nswf but not very explicit, still minors dni

it had been of those days. 

you’d woken up disheveled and tired after a restless night and felt completely out of it, but it was the day before an exam, so you had to drag yourself to the library and study for as many hours as possible.

later that night, after trying your very best to stay awake and power through it all, you used the time during your walk back home to call Van, just to hear her voice, to be calmed by it for a second, to try and forget about everything else for a few minutes. your girlfriend knew you too well at that point not to hear it immediately, that you were exhausted and close to tears at certain points, that you were putting up a tough front, but instead of calling you out on it, she joked around with you a little, told you a bit about her own day, and reminded you how much she was looking forward to having you back the next day. 

at that point in your relationship, you slept over at Van’s place more and more, but you still stayed in your own room every few days, mostly when you had something to do early the next morning, since you refused to make her drive you across town, even though she would have done it, in a heartbeat. that week, you’d planned to come back to her place right after you were done with your last exam, to stay over for the entire weekend, but that night after your call, Van didn’t like the idea of waiting another night to see you again, at all.

she knew that you didn’t like to admit when you were going through it and needed her to be there for you, she was aware that you were careful with asking too much of her and it did pain her sometimes, that you thought it would be possible to scare her off, when she was so deeply devoted to you. still, she couldn’t be mad because she had a similar habit of downplaying her own issues, you two weren’t very dissimilar that way, so she made it her responsibility to notice whenever you were a bit fragile and could use some extra support.

after hearing you sound so drained, she couldn’t just sit on her couch and relax, it was impossible to ignore the urge to check up on you, so, around 9.30, after debating for a while whether it was a good idea or not, she finally thought “fuck it” and left her place to go drive over to yours. she didn´t text and didn’t call because she had no interest in being talked out of it.

while she was doing that, you were in your room, on your bed, in total silence, just laying there, not even listening to music because you were so spaced out. it wasn’t that you were particularly depressed about anything, but the days before had been stressful and there was a lethargy to you that night, that made no activity seem appealing except laying there and feeling sorry for yourself.

and then, you heard a knock. your roommate came in and grinned at you while saying, “hey. you have a guest”, which confused you for a second, before you saw her: right there, standing in the doorframe: Van. her familiar warm smile, her head tilted, her soothing voice “hey there”. 

your roommate quickly excused herself and left you to it. Van stepped into your room and was tickled by your stunned expression, the mix of shock and delight, the effect she had hoped for on her way over. you had to process for a second, and when you realized that she was actually there, reliable and generous as always, you briefly hid your face in your hands and let out a sound akin to a cry, which made her laugh as she stepped closer. 

you shook your head and looked back up again “oh my god. you have no idea how glad I am to see you, I actually might cry right now…it´s so late, what are you doing here?” you reached both of your hands out for her, eagerly beckoning her closer, so she got down onto the bed to sit next to you, her hands in yours then. she smiled, visibly amused, eyeing you to confirm what she’d suspected “well, I had a feeling you wouldn’t admit that you wanted me to come and be here for you, so, I took a wild guess”.

the way she looked at you then, all tender and patient, with such evident affection for you written all over her pretty face, made you realize just how desperately you’d missed her the days before, so your instincts kicked in full force and you pulled her down onto the bed next to you.

before she knew it, she was on her back. you draped one of your legs over hers and held her close while nuzzling your face against her neck and breathing in, deeply, which immediately returned a sense of ease to your body, your breathing more relaxed the second you felt her body warm against yours, her arm snaking around your back, a quiet laugh as she felt you lose all ability to pretend you hadn’t been dying to be comforted by her presence. “poor thing, you had a rough day, hm?” she cooed while, running her hand up and down your spine, a nod from you while you held onto her and savored the feeling of being all over her.

Van was used to your affection, to your ability to charm her in an instant, to the way you offered your love to her without holding back, even back when you’d only been together for a few weeks, she knew you as a passionate and sweet lover, but she wasn’t used to that more needy side of you, the side you usually hid from her. you made a point of being pleasant to be around when you were with her, you told yourself that you’d leave her alone whenever you were having an awful day, that would not bring her mood down, even though you had no issue tending to her when she was going through it.

it was clear that your logic was absurd because as your girlfriend she obviously didn’t see it as a burden to be there for you, the same way you were always there for her, but that was something you were still learning, still getting used to, and she had no problem being patient. it was endearing to her, that you were shy in that way, and needed a bit of helping along from her. Van recognized some of herself in it, your insistence on never being a burden, it made sense that you two had found each other, to maybe learn how to accept someone else’s care at the same time, to teach each other the same lesson through your shared love.

you were too overjoyed by having her back earlier than expected to be self-conscious about anything in that moment though, so after laying on her for a second, you moved up a bit to lean in and kiss her neck, all over, soft, heartfelt kisses that made her sigh in pleasure as she ran her fingers through your hair and felt herself grow hot, since she was not expecting you to snap out of your tiredness so fast.

it came out of nowhere, but her unannounced visit and the instant thought “I always wanna be around her” when you saw her walk into your room, made you feel overwhelmed with love for her in that moment, and she could tell from how you pushed your hand under her shirt to feel her up, how you hummed while getting lost in the sensation of her soft pale skin against your lips, how you laid there on your side, pressed against her, soaking it all up, the familiar faint scent of musk and wood from her perfume, still lingering on her at the end of the day, the smell of home for you, a sensual reminder of many nights you’d spent wrapped in her embrace.

eventually you moved up and continued your intense wordless way of saying “I’m so glad you´re here” by kissing her all over her face, her eyes shut, a faint giggle as you leaned over her and kissed her nose right in the middle, her cheek, her temple, right above her eyebrow, a lingering kiss on her forehead, a feverish trail of kisses, that left her blushing and utterly content, happy to just lay there and hold onto your back, as you had your way and let her feel just how much you loved every part of her, how easy it was for you to find energy even on a rough day, if she was there next to you. it was one of the things that had surprised her the most during the first weeks of being with you: how much you loved physical intimacy, not just the sexual kind.

to her you were the one out of the two of you who should be worshiped, it was clear to her that you were the one deserving of it, but you had matched that energy right from the start, and it never failed to make her grow even fonder of you than she already was, to feel your desire for her equaling hers for you. one time, after you were done having sex, you’d kissed her knees out of nowhere and it had almost made her cry . she had many memories like that and you kept adding to them.

after a while, you pressed a final kiss right onto her lips and drew it out for a few seconds, before pulling away and letting her collect herself, laying down on your back too then, your hand still on her, unwilling to go one second without touching her.

Van turned to you, a grin on her face, a sparkle in her eyes, her hair slightly disheveled from your sudden move on her. “damn, I should catch you in a weak moment more often I think” she mused, which made you smile, “please do, yes. god I fucking missed you...” the last part was said wistfully, and she had to laugh then because she couldn’t believe your sudden willingness to let her see it all that openly, it wasn’t your usual style, to be dramatic, but she clearly loved it, being so openly needed. 

“can you promise me something, baby?”, she asked, the pet name almost prompting you to push her down and kiss her again, “yes, what?” you nodded, looking at her, playing with her hand absentmindedly. “next time you’re having a bad day or wish I was here, just straight up tell me, alright? I can always say no if I want to, but I won´t want to, so don’t attempt to hide it. otherwise, I’ll have to ambush you like this again”. that last part made you laugh, and you knew what she meant, so you agreed “okay, yes, I will tell you next time, thank you. I’m really lucky to have you, you know”.

she shook her head, “no, it’s not luck, you make it pretty fucking easy to wanna see you, like.. I am not that selfless. I wouldn’t have come over right now if I didn’t wanna see you anyway” she said, while moving over a bit to return what you’d just done and kiss your cheek while letting her hands wander down your body, eager to see you relax even more, an immediate surrender to her, your eyes fluttering shut, your fingers in her hair, your mind finally quiet.

she was still in her regular clothes and it was almost 10 pm by then, so naturally you expected her to leave sometime soon, but she had another idea. she sat upright on your bed and looked around the room for a moment before asking, “should I sleep over?”. she’d been over to your place before a few times before but never for long because the privacy and space at her place were much preferable; she’d joked about how awkward it would be to stay over when she was so many years older than you and your roommates, so the question caught you off-guard, but you wanted nothing more. 

“what, really?”, you said, incredulous. she nodded, determined “yeah, I mean, I´ll get over how weird it is for me to sleep in a house with a bunch of twenty-somethings at my age, it’s fine, I just wanna stay with you right now”. your face lit up then, the evening was getting better and better, “well you’re much cooler than her boyfriend, so, that cancels the age thing out I think”. that made Van laugh then, “imagine us four in a room together, jesus christ”, you joined in on the joke, “oh you’d love it, some random young guy, surely you’d have a great time trying to talk to him”. 

of course you knew that college age guys were about the last group of people Van had any interest in talking to, the image alone weirded her out, “yeah no thanks” she said in a dry tone, shaking her head. you teased her a bit then, nudging her in the side, “you’ll stick to the young women instead, hm?”. she looked directly at you then, “yes. one young woman, to be specific. mine” that last word went straight to your core.

“you can say that again” you urged her. Van knew she’d gotten you good with that, a self-satisfied smile when she leaned closer to you, “what, that you’re mine?” she whispered, “hm” you nodded while meeting her in the middle until your lips almost touched. she gave in and repeated herself, “you’re all mine” her breath close enough to feel its warmth, “yes, yes I am” you said before pulling her in for another kiss, a slower and deeper one than before, moving onto her lap to be chest to chest with her while holding her face, making out for a moment to savor the taste of her, addicted to the way she always melted right into you, a light moan when you touched tongues. one thing that had turned you on right from the start, was that she wasn’t an aggressive lover but a submissive one, she followed your lead, opened her mouth for you, let you grab and push her, wanted you to; kissing her was divine, hearing her sweet sounds whenever you pressed yourself down on her, touched her chest, overwhelmed her.

a few minutes later, Van stood up and took of her flannel because she’d gotten way too warm, throwing it over your chair while looking around your room with a slightly judgemental look. “you need a maid, or something?” she said with a low tone, lovingly messing with you a bit. you knew she was referring to the clothes on your floor and the clutter on your desk. 

“oh come on” you said, slightly embarrassed, “it’s not that bad, considering my stress level. I have been dealing with finals all week, you know, cut me some slack”. Van nodded and grinned while moving to pick some of your stuff up, which was met by protest from you “hey, no, you didn´t start dating to play mommy for someone, I’ll do that”. she was busy folding a shirt of yours as she responded “well, my mom never took care of my things, so, to me this isn´t “mommy” stuff ”. she joked like that without realizing just how upsetting the thought of her younger self being neglected was to you, until she looked over and saw your pained expression, so she backtracked, “sorry, a bit too dark, huh”.

“you know your mom is lucky she´s dead already” you said, dead-pan, serious, which made her whip her head around while putting the clothes she’d picked up from the floor into your closet, her eyebrows raised, “oh yeah? because you’d go to Jersey and take her out for me if she wasn´t, hm?” she asked, ironically of course, but you nodded, not laughing, “probably”. 

Van hadn’t told you the full extent but she’d told you enough about her childhood for you to know it hadn’t been pretty, whatsoever. it always got to her, to see how deeply you cared for her, how rage-inducing it was for you to imagine her as a kid, scared and alone. it never failed to touch her, the fact that you were much younger than her but still saw her as someone deserving of your protection.

once she was done cleaning up your floor, she took the liberty of lighting a few your candles and cracking the window a bit, to give the room a final fresh touch. “okay, so, should we get ready for bed?” she asked, nonchalantly, pretending she couldn’t tell you were busy admiring her from your bed. you loved the sound of that, wanting nothing more than to get under the covers with her already, so you got up to join her “yes, please. you can steal some of my clothes for once”. 

usually you were the one who slept dressed in her shirts, in her bed, so there was something sweet about it, to switch those roles for a night. both you and her had already showered earlier that evening, so you only had to go brush your teeth, a brief heads-up to your roommate on the way to the bathroom that your girlfriend would be sleeping over, a knowing wink from her when she said “sure, no problem” because you were on good terms and she´d told you before that she approved of Van despite the considerable age difference. she thought you´d picked well judging by the few glimpses she´d caught of Van before.

after taking turns with your toothbrush because there wasn’t a fresh one available and she had no issue using her lover’s - 19 months in the wilderness having eliminated any sense of disgust over innocent things like that - you went back to your room and got into bed. you immediately moved your arm and leg over her under the blanket to be as close as possible, a sound of approval from her as she got comfortable and enjoyed the unfamiliar feeling of being in her lover’s room for the night.

you could hear a quiet laugh from her then, so you asked “what is it?”, a pause before she changed her tone to imitate you, “no, don’t worry, I’m fine, it’s all good”, the thing you’d unconvincingly told her over the phone earlier, so you gave her a light shove. “oh perfect, I’m glad you´re entertained by all that”. she put her hand on your head then, caressing you lightly, “no, I was actually pretty worried, I hate when you get like that”. 

you held onto her a bit tighter then, “oh it’s fine, tomorrow is the last final, then I have the whole weekend with you. I’m spoiled honestly, complaining doesn’t really seem right”. she was charmed by that, “well, I’ll make sure you’ll relax properly, don’t you worry. oh by the way, when do you have to be up tomorrow?”.

you reached over her for a moment then, unelgenatly laying on her stomach and pressing your weight onto her to grab your phone from the nightstand before laying back down again. “uh, the exam is at 8 and I need like half an hour to get ready and eat, so. I’ll put the alarm for seven.” she smiled, eyeing you, “isn’t the walk only like five minutes?”. you nodded, “yes. but I am gonna need that other half hour for something else”. she caught the subtext of course but she wanted to hear you say it.

“yeah?”, you put your phone away and moved over to put your face close to hers. “yeah, I wanna start the day right. on a high” you whispered, grinning at her. Van nodded, her palm against your cheek then, her breath still faintly peppermint scented, “good. I can help with that, I think”. you nodded, challenging her “me too”, a faint blush on her freckled cheeks then.

you were used to switching in your relationship, and it was fun to tease each other with it, to be equally eager to please, a shared anticipation in that moment when you both imagined giving the other one head the next morning while you were still soft and warm from sleep, trying to be quiet so nobody would overhear, reminding yourselves to not get lost in other acts, so you wouldn’t run late, stealing a few more touches before you’d have to get dressed. 

“it’s becoming impossible to ever wanna sleep alone”, you said, your voice already sleepy and quiet, your eyes closed, hers too as she got settled on your pillow while you remained laying on her chest. “well, that was my plan here of course. maybe you’ll consider my offer of driving you to class again, hm?”. you couldn’t deny that it did sound ideal to spend more nights at her place.“yeah I think I will. but don’t blame me if you get sick of me then” you whispered, already half asleep, she shook her head, “impossible. I love being with you, always”. she wasn’t the type for exaggerating, you knew she meant it, so you reached up and put your hand on her head, stroking her hair for a second, “me too. thank you for coming over and being sweet. I love you so much”. 

it was second nature for her, to do all of that, so she sometimes forgot that it meant a lot to you, the same way you sometimes didn’t understand just how meaningful certain little gestures of yours were to her, so she gave you a squeeze and moved the blanket further up over your bodies before whispering “I love you too. sleep well, angel”.