#look at me just wanting to quickly mention sth

[ganondoodle]

was at my sisters house to watch the cats a bit and played some botw again after a long time, spent an hour running around phirone (faron) and checking out all the cool sonau (zonai) stuff and i felt a wave of sadness wash over me, those ruins there feel so ... heavy with story, with sadness of tragedy, with the thrill of the unkown, yet its revealed to be nothing in totk, i honestly dont feel like the sonau of botw and of totk are at all releated tbh, theres like, NO design overlap besides sometimes some dragon-like figures that feel more like they put them into totk just to have some connection at all-

the botw sonau ruins are all full of curves hewn into dark stone with red accents, theres swirls and snakes everywhere, appropriately withered by time and weather- it was already a stupid idea to replace the shiekah tech with literally another ancient highly advanced civilaztion, but then to not even make them look or feel at all connected to the little things that were there?? totk sonau is white stone and gold and green, its all extremely angular and clean cut, together with weird hologram shit that reads, somehow, as both unfittingly techy to everything else while also neither mechnical nor magical

its fucking bonkers, i know they put some totk sonau bullshit into some of the ruins in totk, like the main ones in phirone but like, especially in that case with the direct comparison its so jarring and artificial, and i hate the excuse of "hylians built those different looking buildings as a monument to the sonau", like we needed more shitty excuses for bad writing decisions- the ancient AND current hylian stuff aligns more with totk sonau stuff, why would they adopt a completely different style to built shit around actual sonau stuff that somehow also looks like it was abandoned like, 50 years, 100 years ago, not over TEN THOUSAND years ago, both the botw sonau ruins and the shiekah tech look more ancient than anything totk sonau

and what for??? i imagine more botw sonau style ruins and like, thats entirely possible, why make it sth utterly different and give it a shitty excuse?? its so unnecessary?? like okay make the wheels out of withered stone hanging together like clumps by invisible magic like how the iwaroks (the .. stone enemy) works- i still would like it sicne i dont like the whole building thing in botws world, but at least it would feel like truly magic bs and fit into the design of botw sonau (even though im still not over NOTHING ever hinting that they were one step away from spaceships hologram aliens, the refusal to work with the stuff they themselves have put into their games drives me up a wall, YOU PUT IT THERE! DO SOMETHIGN WITH IT!)

just to put some modern tech into it? was it worth it?? (no)- and there i could even go on about how much i hate the 'tech' design too, its too little mechanical to be called 'tech' but too modern tech like to call it 'magic', (a balance which the shiekah tech did tremendously well imo) i keep being impressed with how conflicting and incoherent design and story can be in this one single overpriced game

(the reason them making it so modern techy looking was so players would immediately know what it was apparently and i just ... doesnt that make it more boring? like instead of the shiekah stone(slate) they just put a flip phone with numbered buttons and all and give it a vaguely stone texture? instead of like, a guardian with its spider legs and strange creepy design, just put a fucking tank there??? (and like, in a way i feel like the fact that they still tried to not make it look too modern by putting that green texture on it and like, a face here and there, makes it WORSE, a bad cover up is worse to me than none at all, like a shitty explanation can make sth worse than no explanation at all *ahem* literally every interview they did >:C )

also i dont know how you could even design a fan so it doesnt look like a fan? you dont need to put in literal car wheels with suspension and all in there to make it clear its a wheel bc how would you even design a wheel so it doesnt read like a wheel???

since when did they get so anxious about players not understanding something?? the whole series was built on puzzles of varying difficulty, whats with the sudden loss in trust in the player?? botw was already pretty easy but in totk the whole game treats you like you cant think or remember sth for more than 30 seconds to the point it gets actively agonizing to play through- the same two sentences of unimportant info repeated and shown to your face over and over, both in story and gameplay- and even with their immediately readable design choices for the sonau 'tech' they made half teh shrines either sloggingly slow tutorials or one puzzle shrines that are dedicated to teach you how the obvious thing works when you really learn it all on the literal tutorial island AND its obvious from the start BECAUSE THEY WANTED IT TO BE OBVIOUS!! its fun to figure things out and try stuff, its no fun to have a step by step guide glued to your forehead at all times especially when its so obvious, yes thanks for teaching me that a literal fire hydrant spits out water!! wow! never thought about that! thanks for telling me it 5 times too!! (even if it annoys me that they can just do that when not connected to the ground .. would have been more fun to make puzzle with if they were,,), its part of why i felt like the game was so condescending or outright laughing at me-

why even try to teach me how a fan works over and over when like, there arent even any creative things you can do with it in a reasonable amount of time and its never needed or incentivised either bc the game just hands you the literal solution or at the very least give you the four parts or what that you need to make what you need, like pulling apart two bricks of baby lego in fornt of a toddler to see if they can put them back together once you hand it to them

and dont come at me with the "its for kids" argument, the old games were too and theres alot of stages of 'kid', they arent stupid either and nintendo should know that they have alot of adult fans too, it doesnt need to be dark souls and its allowed to have easy stuff in there but the fact that it never gets any more challenging is the problem, yes part of the fun in games can be making your own rules and messing around but it really shouldnt be controversial to want a 70 bucks game to offer a fun experience without you having to make it fun all on your own (i for one dont enjoy spending 30 minutes glueing togehter a tank with ear shattering lasers just to inefficiently beat up 3 bokblins i could just swing my sword at for a few seconds instead and are not worth the materials spend anyway)

in the end it would have been less immersion breaking and more fun if they straight up put a honda civic into the game you can summon anywhere at no cost (hmmmm where did they just do it before hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm) and transforms like a batmobile to fly around in rather than the weird sonau nuts and bolts hassle you have to put up with, costs stuff, can waste hours of your time and despawn as soon as you look away from it unless you want to make le funny tiktok videos i guess

its such a waste too bc the mechanic itself IS impressive, but its utterly missplaced in this game, it would have needed its own, truly own, game built around it, placing it in botws world is like dumping a bunch of knock off brand toys into a world that felt believable and meaningful turning it to feel like its really just a game for you to mess around in, never has a game felt more gamey to me and it SUCKS to have that magic pulled away like that, silly me for letting them make me care about it i guess

maybe its petty but as someone how really cares alot about design stuff, both visually and gameplay wise, it makes me furious to think about (as you can tell) .. also hyperfixation go brrrrrrr

(this is obviously my view on it, writing this to get it out, not to argue, i believe i have heard all the arguments already anyway and by this point all that is left is just insulting me directly lol)

[wildheartsalwaysburn]

OP men taking care of their SO

Gn!Reader (I tried)

Characters: Trafalgar Law, Eustass Kid, Sanji, Bartolomeo, Corazon

CW: mentions of ED (starving, vomiting, overexercising), bad body image/body dysmorphia, cursing, SH, slight nsfw for Kid

Notes: I'm in a terrible mental state rn, kinda relapsing. OP hyperfixation fixes stuff so I decided to write some HC how they would act when noticing their SO is struggling with an ED.

Trafalgar Law

he had a bad feeling about your eating habits a while ago

noticing you rush to the bathroom after every meal and "showering" excessively

but didn't mention cuz he knows to leave people alone (he's the same tbh)

it hit him during the monthly physical examination

he listens to your heartbeat and notice it being really low

"y/n, would you step on the scale?" he asks in a cold but also concerned tone

as he notices you getting anxious when standing in front of that thing, he sighs and puts a hand reassuring on your shoulder

"it's ok. I'm here. Just step on it, please." his voice still concerned but warm and soft

he looks at the low numbers in shock and takes you carefully from the scale before you can see the numbers

"y/n-ya. What's wrong?" he'll take your cold hands and sits right in front of you

if you break out in tears, he'll just sit there and hug you tightly, til you calm down by yourself

if you stay cold and stubborn, he'll get annoyed but also takes care of you

either way, you talk a lot and will make a rehab plan, he'll watch over you as much as he can

he won't miss a moment to show you how much he loves and cares for you

"you're the most beautiful soul I know, y/n-ya."

"I know it hurts, but I cannot lose someone I love dearly, again."

"We get through this, ok?"

all in all, he's a doctor and acts like one, but he'll support you whenever needed

Eustass Kid

he notice during working out together

the last times you'd been skipping meals and even alcohol, working out without him even in the middle of the night

first he thought you'd simply want to get stronger than him and teases you daily

but on that day you've overdone yourself, your body can't take it anymore and you get dizzy and weak all of a sudden, letting the weights fall down with a thud

"y/n?! Fucking seriously?" he first yells at you (rule: never let weights fall down)

you sink on your knees, mumbling sth like you'd be fine

"Fine my ass!" he swears and lifts you up to carry you to his room

"what the hell are you thinking?!" he's clearly pissed

he'll put on his too big warm clothes and coat, still staring at you angrily

forces you to drink water and hot tea, he still stares at you

"so what the fuck is wrong with you, y/n?" angry, annoyed tone

when you start to cry, he's overwhelmed and feels bad not being able to help, so he just sits there and pets your head

when you glance back and pout/get angry you'll get into a fight and storms out throwing the door

just to come back and hug you tightly after finally understanding

his soft side comes out when you tell him you feel weak and ugly and fat

he laughs: "stupid girl/boy! you're the strongest pirate I know! and the sexiest! besides me"

if you don't or don't smile enough (which will be most likely the case), he'll just tower over you and wrap you up in his arms, roaming with his hands over your body and repeat how amazing you are

he'll get overprotective, remind you to eat enough through the day (sometimes forces you to)

He makes you different playlists to lift up your mood

also he'll seek help from Killer from time to time (but won't tell you)

Sanji

He’ll notice when you stop joining to cook in the kitchen

Notices your rapid weight loss really quickly

Sits down next to you, lights up a ciggy and asks worried what’s wrong

Poor boy thinks it’s his fault

Eventually he’ll tear up and just hug you, telling you how much he loves you

“You can tell me everything, ma chère!”

You instantly felt understood and tell him

He’ll look at you in shock, not understanding how such a beautiful person can think of themselves like that

“But you are the most beautiful woman/man, I know, y/n-swan”

He cups your face and gazes into your eyes before kissing you softly

“We get through this, together. I promise.”

And he’ll make it true. He’s the most supportive boyfriend

Forehead kisses, reassuring soft hugs and touches, always keeping an eye on you

Spa Days, telling you every second how much he loves and adores you, would never force you but beg you to try his food at least

Makes the most delicious looking meals

Reads all about EDs so he won’t accidentally hurt you even more

Will hold you in his arms when you’re freezing or crying

Hides the scale

All in all the perfect man

Bartolomeo

He’ll notice when following you to the bathroom after dinner

Already had a bad gut feeling about your bruised up and red hands

He holds them all the time so he knows their appearance by heart

“Y/n-chan? Are you ok? I’m here for you! Are you sick?”

Music plays from inside and the tab runs

When you came out after minutes, eyes swollen and red, hands wet and even redder than before you’ll earn a concerned look

“Don’t tell me you’re fine, y/n-chan.”

Weirdly sniffs and notices the smell of vomit

Eyes in shock and starts crying

“No no no no my dearest y/n-chan!! Please don’t tell me it’s true!”

Wraps his arms around you in a tight embrace, crying his eyes out

Overdramatic as fuck

Eventually taking your weak body to a quiet room, cleans your face and gives you something to drink

Will listen to each of your words really carefully to understand

Always pleasing you, always bring you water and tea, will not force but desperately beg to you eat something

Will accompany you to the bathroom any time, watching that you don’t hurt yourself anymore

Around you 24/7, will provoke and beat up everyone just trying to say something bad about you

Literally overprotective l, like a guard dog

Will try to lift your mood by telling stupid jokes and stories, tattle about Law and other “not cool non strawhats”, showing off his collection

Proud as hell every time he’ll make you laugh and forget that illness for a second

Corazon/ Rosinante Donquixote

He’ll notice when picking you up as usual

“Y/n, you’re so tiny?!”

Shocked at first and lifts you even higher

Can’t believe you’re that light, you’ve always been to him, but now it’s different

Immediately throws you over his shoulder, covering you with his warm feather coat

“We’re going to a doctor, no back talk.”

His tone is stern but also warm and caring

Carries you to different doctors and hospitals, always holding your hand or thigh to show you he’s there

Will yell at anyone who says that can’t treat you

Throws literal tantrums at some doctors for being “incapable”

Will end up trying to fix and heal you himself

Showers you in love and care, eg bringing you water, tea, let’s you borrow his lighter to fidget with (even lend you his cigarettes if you smoke)

Will always smile at you and be more clumsy on purpose to make you laugh again

Will cook for you, whatever you want, burns it a few times by accident

Let’s you wear his clothes, when you feel bad about your body

Or wraps you up in them to get you warm

Will be extremely careful when touching, hugging or lifting you up

Afraid he’ll break you

Will inform himself about EDs to make the best of it

Never leaves your side, towering above or behind you, so no one can hurt you

Even lends you hit hat from time to time if he can’t be around for a moment, so you won’t feel alone

Gets sentimental when you sleep and he drinks, petting your head, sits right next to you talking about how beautiful and amazing you are

"I love you so much! You deserve everything in this world, my heart!"

[veronicaphoenix]

zutto — chapter eight | wc: 5.7k | series masterpost | prev. chapter

Chapter summary: Lia and Noah go to couples therapy. Noah and Lia spend a cozy evening in her studio. Reading time: 22mins. aprox.

Tags and trigger warnings: therapy, talks of mental health, ptsd, anxiety, insecurities, self-doubt, mentions of parents' neglect, abandonment, mentions of medication and lia's overdose, mentions of lia's abusive relationship with mitch, mentions of alcohol intake, talks of sex, implied sexual scenarios that include oral sex (female receiving) and protected sex. The rest is pure fluff, noah and lia being totally madly in love with each other and being supportive of each other's works. There's blindfolding going on in this chapter but it's not in a sexual scenario. If I'm missing sth, let me know. The therapy scene took me ages to write.

General trigger warnings: this work addresses and depicts issues related to addiction, abuse, & violence, contains explicit sexual content, and explores themes of childhood trauma. Reader discretion is advised. +18

“Have you found any hobby; any activity that helps soothe your anxiety?”

Lia processed Dr. Reynolds question, thinking back over the past few days: rejoining her long-missed yoga classes, meeting Emery for coffee on Thursday, catching up with the BO crew to discuss tour logistics and merch-related stuff, drawing, packing for Japan…

After a brief pause, Lia replied, 

“Sex.”

As soon as the word left her lips, her face flushed. Sitting next to her in the other armchair, Noah remained still, his eyes wide in surprise at her response, though he didn't look directly at her. His cheeks were tinged pink as well.

Dr. Reynolds immediately noticed their reactions, especially the way Noah quickly avoided eye contact.

“Okay, there’s no reason to feel embarrassed,” she reassured them, raising her hands slightly from her desk, which separated her from the young couple. “Sex is something totally normal and natural, and it’s great for our mental health and well-being.” She waited a few seconds until she saw Noah’s shoulders relax and Lia let out a sigh. “Tell me, Lia, how do you feel when you’re physically intimate with Noah?”

Lia raised an eyebrow while still curled up in the armchair.  

“Mentally, emotionally,” Dr. Reynolds clarified, a genuine soft smile on her lips.

“Umm,” Lia’s mind wandered to their first time—both drunk and needy for each other. She remembered it had felt good, but she didn’t want to dwell on that night, since it was followed by the worst weeks of her life. Instead, she thought about the last few days, about every time Noah had covered her with his body or laid her down on the sofa, his face sinking between her legs. She had never put into words how it felt, aside from when Noah asked if she liked what he was doing to her, or the previous night, when she’d been sitting on his lap, arms and legs wrapped around him, and he had asked if that posture felt good. She had breathlessly muttered in his ear that it did, “it feels so good, Noah.”

“It feels good,” she started. 

Better than that. But she didn’t feel comfortable enough to say to her therapist the same she’d told Emery two days ago when they’d met. “It feels like everything’s okay. I feel loved, and I feel safe.”

Dr. Reynolds nodded in understanding. Her dark brown eyes shifted to Noah, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

“What about you, Noah?”

Noah cleared his throat.

“Uh, I—”

Fuck. Did he really have to talk about it to that woman? It was hard enough to put into words what he felt, let alone say it out loud to a stranger. Still, he wasn’t there just to sit comfortably in that chair, listening to Dr. Reynolds and Lia’s difficult answers. He was there to communicate. Lia had made the effort, and his heart had fluttered when he heard her say how loved and safe he made her feel. The least he could do was the same.  

He replayed images from the day before in his mind: her skin against his, the way she wrapped around him, how warm she felt, the look in her eyes when he flipped them both so he could be on top, thrusting deep inside her.

“It feels like….” He swallowed, avoiding direct eye contact with the therapist. “I’ve always felt that something was missing, and… After things got better between us, I… I felt complete.” He wasn’t talking only about sex. “I feel utterly happy when I’m with her, not just for myself but for her, too. I know I was… I know I am making her happy.” 

Well, that sounded cheesy as fuck, Noah.

Dr. Reynolds gave a gentle nod.

“I think it’s clear that you and Lia have a deep connection. Would you say it’s been like this since you first met?”

Grateful for the shift in topic, he answered quickly. 

“Absolutely,” he said, with certainty. He’d been fighting everyone from the very beginning to show the world that no one knew Lia like he did. Therefore, no one could take care of her the way he could. 

He expected Lia to echo his response, but her mind was somewhere else.  

“I feel so guilty,” she began, directing her words to Dr. Reynolds. “I’ve loved him since I was a kid. All those times I scared off his girlfriends, I was being selfish and a coward. Then, Mitch came and…” she sniffed but held back tears. “I’ve… carried this fear with me my whole life. A fear of never being enough, of not deserving love. I know I always had Noah, but even when I did, I was convinced that it was all some cruel joke, and that as soon as I finally had him, life would rip him away. I couldn’t bear that thought. So, I buried my feelings, blocked them out; I forced myself to believe it wasn’t real, that I wasn’t in love with him. I told myself for months that it was just infatuation, that he had bigger things to focus on and worry about. The band has always meant everything to him and…”

“That’s not—” Noah started, but Dr. Reynolds raised a gentle hand to quiet him. 

“I kept pushing him away, again and again. I know I hurt him. I know he loves me, but the guilt is suffocating. I’ve put him through so much.”

Dr. Reynolds listened intently, her eyes calm and steady, letting the silence linger after Lia’s words. It was a weighty silence, one that felt like a deep exhale after too many years of holding it all in. Lia’s hands trembled slightly in her lap.

 “That weight has always been there,” she continued through clenched teeth. “I’ve always sabotaged things before they could go wrong, merely because I was convinced they would go wrong.”

Noah shifted beside her. He wanted to reach out, to hold her hand, but the heaviness of the moment kept him still. He hated hearing her talk like that, as if she was the villain in their story. He opened his mouth to argue, to tell her she didn’t need to feel guilty, but something in Dr. Reynolds’ gaze made him hold back once again.

“Lia, what you’re describing is a fear many people experience when they’ve been hurt before or when they deeply value something. We’ve talked about this, remember? It’s called self-preservation. You and Noah have been friends since you were kids. You’ve been attached to him most of your life. He’s been your constant, so it makes sense you’d fear losing him. That fear made you protect yourself, even when there wasn’t a real threat.”

Lia swallowed, her eyes glassy as she fought back tears. 

“But I pushed him away. I hurt him when I should have trusted him.”

Dr. Reynolds nodded. 

“I understand. But what’s important now is recognizing that your feelings of guilt are part of that same fear. You’re punishing yourself for something that, at the time, you thought was the right thing to do. You didn’t want to lose him, and pushing him away was your way of safeguarding your heart.”

Noah’s jaw clenched. He had been so frustrated with Lia over the years, but sitting here now, listening to her talk about her fear of losing him… he realized he understood that fear all too well. 

He wished she could see what he had always known, that no matter what, he wasn’t going anywhere. 

Lia turned to him, her voice breaking.

“I didn’t want to be a burden to you.”

He leaned towards her, her shoulder almost brushing hers. 

“You were never a burden and you know that,” Noah said quietly. “I’ve always wanted you around. You make me happy. You always have.”

Dr. Reynolds leaned back in her chair, giving them a moment to let that sink in.  

“Lia,” she said after a short while”, I want you to delve deeper into that fear. Do you think it's why you've always stopped yourself from doing certain things? Like telling Noah you loved him?"

Lia hesitated, her breath catching as memories flashed through her mind.

“Yes,” she exhaled. “Everything has been because of fear. Deep down, I always knew I loved him, but I was terrified of what that meant. If I admitted to myself that I was in love with him, with my best friend, everything would change. And… if I let myself love him fully, the risk of losing him would become real. I couldn’t handle that.” She made a pause to take a deep breath. “I fough hard to convince myself it was just infatuation—that it wasn’t as deep as it felt; that I just wanted to be the center of his attention because he was so perfect. But I was lying. It was love. I knew it the whole time, and that scared me more than anything.”

Noah felt his heart tighten in his chest. She had been carrying that fear the whole time, while he had been waiting—always waiting—for her to believe he wasn’t going anywhere. 

He reached out, his hand resting gently on hers.

“You don’t have to be scared anymore,” he said.

“I know,” she whispered, her voice shaking. “But I’ve spent so many years convincing myself that loving you was dangerous—that as soon as I let myself have you, I’d lose you.”

Dr. Reynolds kept on jotting down notes on her notepad before speaking again. 

“Lia, that’s a common reaction when someone is deeply afraid of loss. You never had a paternal figure, you mother didn’t provide you with the care and attention you deserved. Then, the people closest to you—Noah’s grandparents— also moved away. You mentioned this not long ago, right? When Noah’s grandfather passed away, his grandmother decided to return to Japan, and you felt that as a loss, too, as a kind of abandonment.”

“I know it wasn’t,” Lia said, her posture stiffening, discomfort creeping in as if she didn’t like the truth of it. “But I couldn’t stop myself from feeling it that way. Then I only had Noah... and I guess my attachment to him grew even more.”

“Of course. It makes sense, Lia. You’ve loved Noah since you were merely a kid—first as a friend, then as something more—so much that you feared the very thing you wanted most: being with him. But now that you’ve faced that fear, it’s important to remember that love isn’t something you need to protect yourself from.”

Dr. Reynolds let the words settle between them before leaning in, her gaze moving between Noah and Lia.

“Noah, I think you’ve been carrying your own set of feelings for a long time, too. While Lia was dealing with her fears, you were facing a different struggle, trying to support her. Isn’t that right?”

Noah rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the familiar knot of tension there. He didn’t love talking about himself—he never did—but he knew today wasn’t the time to hold back.

“Yeah,” he admitted, “I’ve always felt like I had to prove myself, even with her. I’ve always been scared of not being enough for her. Like, maybe one day she’d realize I’m not this perfect guy she thinks I am. And, I guess that fear made me hold back sometimes, too.”

 “You both have been trying to protect each other in different ways—Lia by pushing you away, and Noah by trying to be perfect. But what’s clear is that the connection you two have, the love between you, has never really faltered. Even when you were afraid or apart, you didn’t let go.”

Lia wiped a tear from her cheek, processing the Dr.’s words. She turned to look at Noah, who was watching her with an intensity that made her heart ache. Without a word, she reached for his hand, intertwining her fingers with his.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I never meant to make you feel like you had to prove yourself.”

Noah shook his head.

“You don’t have to apologize. We’re together now. We’ll figure this out—together.”

Dr. Reynolds leaned back, her gaze warm and understanding. 

“Both of you have been carrying fears and doubts for a long time, but you’re both ready to face them—together. Your connection, this love, is strong enough to handle the uncertainty. You’ve already proven that.”

Lia wiped at her eyes, nodding. The guilt hadn’t disappeared entirely, but it had loosened its grip. She wasn’t alone in this, and that was enough for now.

Dr. Reynolds shifted slightly in her chair, her expression softening as she turned her attention to Lia. 

“Lia, I want to acknowledge the progress you’ve made. You’ve been through an incredibly tough journey, not just emotionally but physically as well. The abuse you suffered in your previous relationship, the trauma from your childhood—growing up without a father and with a neglectful mother—those are heavy burdens. And on top of that, you’ve struggled with your relationship to medication.”

Lia glanced down, her fingers fidgeting in her lap. That was going to be a long day. She was sure the moment she got home, she would collapse into bed, terribly exhausted. The weight of everything she’d gone through still felt fresh at times, and talking about it was like watching it play on a TV, or worse—reviving it. 

“The meds did help at first,” she explained, “but then I got lost in them. I was dependent on them, and I started taking more than what I was prescribed.” Her voice quieted, as if confessing. Dr. Reynolds already knew, but she had told Lia a few times how important it was for her to verbalize it until it didn’t trigger her anymore. “I was using them to escape.”

 “That overdose was a wake-up call,” Dr. Reynolds said. Noah winced at the mention of it. “But what matters is that you’ve taken steps toward healing since then. You’ve made a brave choice in deciding to taper off the medication, and even though it’s not easy, it’s clear that you’re managing much better now, especially with the positive changes in your life.”

Lia’s gaze flickered to Noah, who gave her a reassuring smile. 

“It’s been hard,” she admitted, her voice soft but steady. “The withdrawal was terrible at first, and I didn’t think I could handle it. But things have been different… better since Noah and I started working things out. Being with him, in a healthy way, makes me feel like I don’t need the meds to be okay.”

Dr. Reynolds smiled warmly, her eyes filled with encouragement. 

“You’re taking control of your life, Lia. You’re moving away from dependency, both on the medication and on the emotional crutches you once used to cope with all the pain. And that’s an incredible achievement. You’re learning to rely on healthier mechanisms—your relationship with Noah, your art, and most importantly, yourself.”

Lia felt a lightness in her chest, something she hadn’t experienced in a long time. The meds had numbed her for so long that she hadn’t trusted her own emotions or ability to cope without them. But now, without that fog, she was starting to feel everything—both the good and the bad���and it wasn’t as overwhelming as she���d feared. 

“I still have bad days, but… I don’t feel like I’m drowning anymore,” she said quietly. “Noah helps, but I think I’m helping myself, too.”

Dr. Reynolds nodded, pride evident in her expression. 

“That’s exactly what I want to hear. It’s not about never feeling anxious or sad again—it’s about learning to face those feelings without needing to numb them. You’ve proven to yourself that you can. And having a supportive partner like Noah is a huge help, but ultimately, the strength you’re finding is coming from within you.”

Noah’s hand tightened around hers. She wasn’t fixed, but for the first time in years, she didn’t feel broken either. She was healing—slowly, but surely.

Dr. Reynolds closed her notebook. 

“Keep going, Lia. You’re on the right path. You’ve come a long way, and it’s clear you’re capable of even more. The fact that you’re doing this—getting off the meds, facing your fears, building a healthier relationship with Noah—it’s all a testament to your resilience. You will get better.”

Lia nodded, a small, hopeful smile tugging at her lips. For the first time, she believed it.

As they stood to leave, Noah slipped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. 

Once out of the elevator and onto the street, Lia hurried toward the car, eager to get home. But before she could, Noah grabbed her arm, turning her to face him. He cupped her face in his hands, and without a word, leaned in and kissed her deeply, ignoring the people passing by and the noise of the street around them.

When he pulled back, Lia was breathless, her wide eyes gazing up at him, a spark of something new and beautiful shining in them.

“Whatever happened—whatever will happen—I don’t care. We’ll face it together. I’m not letting you go, Lia.”

She wanted to say, I’m not letting you go, either, but the words wouldn’t come. She was too awestruck by his closeness, overwhelmed by the love she felt for him and the weight of everything that had surfaced in therapy. So, instead, she just stared at him, her heart full.

Standing on her tiptoes, she grabbed two fistfuls of his hoodie and kissed him back, pouring everything she couldn’t say into the kiss. After a few moments, Noah pulled away, looking down at her with a soft intensity.

“Lia, am I clear?”

She nodded.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

He gently tucked her hair behind her ears and leaned down for another kiss, this one soft, reassuring. When he finally pulled away, he took her hand in his.

“Let’s go home. That was exhausting.”

A week later 

Every couple of minutes, Lia would push a stray lock of hair behind her ear, only for it to fall back into place again. She was sat cross-legged on the floor, her sketchbook balanced on her knee. Her pencil moved in quick strokes, pausing every so often as she bit her lip in concentration, only to resume with a renewed burst of energy. 

The late afternoon sun filtered through the blinds, casting warm streaks of golden light across the studio floor that reached the other end of the room, where Noah was sitting at the desk, focused on the apps open on his laptop and on Lia’s iMac. 

He’d brought over two mugs of hot chocolate earlier, one of which still steamed next to her on the floor, while his sat neglected on the desk. They had spent most of the morning out of the house—Noah had gone to the gym and then had met the boys at the studio while Lia had gone to one of her yoga sessions, then had met Emery at a nearby Starbucks. In just three days, they would be flying to Japan for the Bad Omens tour, followed by a well-deserved two-week rest at Grandma’s house, in the outskirts of Tokyo. 

Noah’s mind had started to feel mushy in the last thirty minutes. Growing distracted, he stole a glance at Lia, watching her as she worked. Her focus, the way she’d push that same strand of hair away from her face, the way her brow furrowed... Eventually, feeling his mind grow too fuzzy, he stood up, muttering something about needing to wash his face.

When he returned to the studio, Lia was in the same position, still immersed in her sketching with her back towards the door. Without saying a word, Noah walked over and sat behind her, sliding his legs around her body as he leaned in close. Tempted, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss in her hair. Then another one further below. And another one right below her ear. Lia squirmed in his arms but kept her pencil moving.

“Noah,” she mumbled, her lips curling into a half-smile, half-protest.

He didn’t answer, trailing another slow kiss down to the nape of her neck. Her shoulders tensed, then relaxed, a small laugh escaping her. 

“Stop,” she said, though the warmth in her voice betrayed her, as well as the way she titlted her neck to give him more access. 

“You’re not really convincing me,” he teased, brushing her hair aside to kiss the curve of her neck.

Lia twisted in his arms, still trying to focus on her sketchbook, but the pencil faltered as she squirmed again. She laughed, turning her head slightly to glance at him. 

“You’re such a distraction.”

“Guilty as charged,” Noah grinned, wrapping an arm around her middle and pushing her flush against him. He was practically caging her with his body. 

Instead of reaching for his own mug of hot chocolate still sitting on the desk, he lazily grabbed hers, taking a sip.

“Hey! That’s mine,” she protested.

“Yours is closer,” he replied with a shrug, taking another sip before handing it back to her. “What are you working on?” he asked, glancing over at her sketchbook.

Lia flipped through some of the pages, her pencil resting between her fingers. 

“I’ve been sketching ideas for Grandma’s garden,” she said, her voice soft with affection. “You know how much she loves that garden. Last time we were there, I planted some peonies and lilies around the trees by the entrance, remember? I’m thinking of adding more this time.”

Noah leaned closer, peering over her shoulder as she traced her fingers along a delicate sketch of flowers winding around a tree.

“I’ve been imagining how it would look if I added some kiku or fuji seeds. Chrysanthemums and wisteria,” she explained, her eyes lighting up. “And I was thinking… maybe we could place some traditional statues around, or even build a tiny pond.”

Her voice trailed off as she flipped to another page—a rough outline of the garden, filled with plants she had already painted with soft strokes of watercolor. The colors in the drawing—deep pinks from the peonies, pale purples from the lilies—looked almost alive, like they were already blooming.

“Look,” she said, pointing to a part of the sketch where she’d blended purple hues for the wisteria draping from a branch. “I’ve been working on the colors, trying to match how they’d actually look in the garden when they bloom. I can see it in my head—how the sunlight would hit the flowers, the way the colors would change depending on the time of day.”

Noah’s expression softened as he gazed at the painted page. 

“She’s going to love that,” he said, setting his mug down. “And it sounds like a great excuse for us to check out those famous Japanese gardens you wanted to visit last time but didn’t get a chance to.”

Lia’s face lit up, her eyes sparkling as Noah added, “I could even sketch some ideas for the pond, maybe add some stones and other features if we get inspired by those places."

Lia hummed thoughtfully, inspecting her own designs.

“After the tour, we’ll have time to explore more traditional spots—temples, hidden gardens in smaller towns. We can start with the city’s chaos, then unwind in the gardens and parks. Once we’ve soaked in all that inspiration, we can start working on Grandma’s garden," Noah said.

A smile tugged at her lips as she leaned back against his broad chest, feeling the comfort of his warmth.

“I like that plan,” she admitted, smiling. “I’m excited for the shows, but I think I’m more excited about seeing Japan… with you.”

He leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. 

“Me too,” he murmured. “And Grandma’s going to love whatever you do to her garden.”

They sat in a peaceful silence for a moment. The room was cozy, filled with the scent of hot chocolate, and Noah’s hand rested warmly on her stomach, his cheek brushing against hers tenderly.

Lia finally broke the silence with a mischievous smile. 

“I have an idea,” she said, untangling herself from his arms and standing up. Noah made a disappointed sound but didn’t question her, merely raising an eyebrow as he watched her disappear into the other room.

When she returned, she held something behind her back, clearly up to no good. Noah’s curiosity piqued.

“What are you planning to do with that?” he asked, a teasing lilt in his voice as she revealed a sleeping mask she’d likely grabbed from her half-packed suitcase.

“Blindfolded drawing challenge” she announced, playfully slapping his shoulder as she sat down in front of him.

Noah grinned, catching on quickly. 

“Hm. Not what I expected, but I’m intrigued. So, do I get to blindfold you?”

“Nah-uh,” she said, keeping the mask out of his reach with a smirk. “I’m blindfolding you. If you’re going to help me with Grandma’s garden, I need to check your drawing kills.”

“I’m an amazing artist, Lia, in case you didn’t know,” he said, puffing his chest in mock pride. 

“Let’s prove it then,” she challenged, eyes sparkling.

“I’m ready to show you the real artist in the room,” Noah replied, rolling his shoulders as if preparing for a competition. 

Lia scoffed. 

“Keep your ego in check, Sebastian.”

Lia grabbed her sketchbook and flipped to a blank page.

 “Okay, mister. This is your canvas,” she said, placing it in front of him.

Noah sat up straighter, a mischievous grin tugging at his lips as she stepped behind him, slipping the mask snugly over his eyes. Her hands brushed his neck, her fingers lingering for just a second longer than necessary. Noah’s grin widened.

“You’re not secretly trying to turn me on with this, are you?” he teased.

She leaned down, her breath warm against his ear as she whispered, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Noah laughed. 

“Alright, alright. Just hand me the weapon of choice.”

Lia placed the pencil in his hand and sat back on her heels, watching as he hovered over the notebook with exaggerated focus. 

“Alright, Picasso, time to show me what you’ve got.”

“Okay, here we go,” he declared, setting the tip of the pencil to paper. He started drawing—if you could call it that. His lines were uneven, jagged, the kind of shaky curves you’d expect from someone who had no idea what they were doing.

Lia bit her lip, trying to stifle her laughter as she watched the absolute chaos unfold on the page.

“Are you… drawing a person?” she asked, half-choking on her giggles.

“Obviously!” Noah said with mock indignation. “Can’t you see it? It’s abstract.”

“Sure, sure. Very abstract,” she teased, covering her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing too loudly.

He added a few more crooked lines, lifting the pencil occasionally to think before continuing. When he was finally done, he sat back triumphantly, pulling off the sleeping mask. 

“And… voilà! A masterpiece.”

Lia leaned over to inspect the mess of squiggly circles and jagged lines. It vaguely resembled a potato with stick arms and what might have been a smile—or a grimace. She couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst into laughter. 

Noah looked down at it and shook his head, feigning disappointment. 

“Okay, I’ll admit, it’s not exactly what I imagined.” He pointed to one of the misshapen blobs. “That was supposed to be an eye.”

Lia wiped a tear from her eye, still giggling. 

“Yeah, I think this guy’s been through something.”

Noah sighed dramatically. 

“I need your artistic genius to fix this. Save my poor little guy.”

Lia laughed again but nodded, taking the pencil from him. 

“Not from there,” he said, opening his legs and gesturing for her to come closer. “Come here.”

She nestled between his limbs, leaning back against his chest. Noah’s arms wrapped around her, his chin resting on her shoulder. The warmth of his embrace made her smile as she began to work, reshaping his scribbles into something recognizable. Her pencil moved, sharpening lines, smoothing out shapes, and adding playful details until Noah’s chaotic doodle turned into a quirky little character with a goofy grin and big, wide eyes.

Noah watched her, his grin softening as he admired the way her hands worked so effortlessly. The look of focus on her face, her gentle smile as she fixed his mess—it was moments like this that made him fall in love with her even more.

When she finished, she leaned back to admire their combined effort. 

“There. Now he’s got some charm.”

“You really are a miracle worker.”

Lia glanced up at him, her eyes sparkling with playful pride. 

“I know.”

He reached out and gently moved that stray lock of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. His fingers lingered, brushing against her cheek as his gaze softened.

“You’re amazing,” he said quietly, his voice low and full of warmth.

Lia’s breath hitched just for a second, her heart skipping a beat at the way he was looking at her. 

“So are you,” she whispered, leaning in closer.

Their lips met in a soft kiss, the warmth of the room wrapping around them like a blanket. It was a simple, quiet moment—the kind that felt like the calm before everything changed. In just two days, they would be off to Japan, diving headfirst into the chaos of the tour. But right now, in the quiet of Lia’s studio, it was just the two of them, savoring the comfort and coziness of the evening. 

When they pulled apart, Lia’s fingertips grazed the skin of his jaw, feeling the rough stubble that had started to grow.

Noah’s voice broke the comfortable silence.  

“Have you thought about letting others see your work?” 

Lia frowned, her fingers halting, barely brushing his chin.  

“What do you mean?”

“I know you sell your stuff online through your site, but I’m talking about something bigger. Like an exhibition, or maybe an illustrated book? I could help with that. I could write the story—like I did for the Concrete Jungle comics—and you could do the drawings.”

Lia’s shoulders slumped as she considered it, her brow creasing in hesitation.

“I don’t know if I’m qualified for that, Noah.”

“Come on.” He shook his head, not buying her self-doubt. “Your work is amazing. Okay, maybe I’m biased, but have you seen how fast our merch sells—the merch that has your art on it? And every time you put something new up on your store, it’s gone in less than forty-eight hours.” 

When he noticed the hesitation still on her face, he extended an arm in the air, as if to grasp all the piled notebooks and sketchbooks she had stored on her bookshelves and drawers. 

“People need to see all of this, Lia.”

Lia’s brown eyes flickered across the room, her eyes landing on one of the bigger sketchbooks resting against a stack of Bad Omens vinyls.

“Some of them are really dark, Noah.”

“You don’t have to show the dark stuff if you don’t want to—even though darkness is part of life,” he conceded, shrugging his shoulders. “But everything else? Lia, you’re an incredible artist. The things you draw, the ideas you come up with… They’re fascinating, to say the least, and people love seeing fascinating things, whatever it is,” he poked her cheek to get her full attention. “And there’s already a bunch of people that love your art, starting with me and our friends.”

Lia stayed quiet for a moment, her brown eyes searching his, still uncertain but intrigued.

“I already have a lot of work with Bad Omens…” she started, though her tone was more reflective than dismissive.

“Is that an excuse? Seriously? Considering your “boss” is your boyfriend?” 

That made her laugh, easing the tension. She snuggled closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder, finding comfort in the warmth of his body.

“Wouldn’t you like that, though? To exhibit your work? Let the world see what you’ve got tucked away in all those notebooks?” Noah’s voice was low and sincere. “You could even write something, turn it into an illustrated novel or whatever you want.”

Lia looked up at him, and for the first time, there was a glimmer of real possibility in her eyes.

“Yes. Yes, I would,” she said, her voice filled with quiet honesty.

Noah’s excitement was imminent. 

“I can help you with ideas. Maybe I can doodle something and you can improve it if you ever feel stuck or…”

Lia laughed, nudging him playfully. 

“I think you should stick to writing. I’ll handle the art,” she said, picking up the notebook they’d been using and shaking it, the potato drawing that Noah had made still on the page.

“Fair enough,” he agreed, wrapping his arms fully around her, squishing her and prompting her to drop the notebook. “But you can’t deny this was the best blindfolded potato drawing you’ve ever seen.”

“I’ll give you that,” she said with a giggle as she felt his lips and nose brush her neck. 

Lia leaned her head back onto his shoulder, and they sat there quietly in the peaceful warmth of her studio, perfectly content just being wrapped up in each other. Noah began swaying them gently, side to side, inhaling the familiar, comforting scent of her. Outside, the sun had dipped lower, casting a soft, warm glow through the windows, wrapping the room in a golden haze.

“You fit perfectly in my arms,” Noah whispered, his lips brushing her ear.

Lia hummed contentedly, her heart full as she nuzzled her nose against his chin, tenderly.

“Because it’s where I’m meant to be.”

Noah’s heart swelled with something sweet and heavy, like warm honey filling every corner of his chest.

“Right answer,” he teased, before lightly tickling her sides, causing her to squirm and giggle in his grasp, but with no hope of escaping. He held her close, thrilled by her laughter, by the fact that she was his, completely and utterly.

He couldn’t wait to get on that plane and head to Japan, this time with her by his side not just as his best friend, but as his girl. The thought of them wandering through the vibrant cities and tranquil gardens together filled him with an excitement he hadn’t felt before.

He nibbled playfully at her earlobe before murmuring,

“Off to Japan in two days, baby. You ready?”

We're off to Japan in the next chapter, babes!! 🥳

— prev. chapter | chapter nine

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[thekaijudude]

Ultraman Rising First Thoughts

Just finished the film and wow, this definitely exceeded my expectations

Going into this, I thought that the film will have a typical boring and basic plot cause the director stressed that it'll serve as an introductory film for the mainstream western viewer

But wow was I glad to be wrong about that

But perhaps its because I personally resonated with the overall message and the struggles the MC goes through

I also enjoyed and caught most of the Easter eggs here and there from various main series, the netflix ultraman suit trilogy and even a godzilla one

The ending was the highlight for me as it definitely felt very emotional as well

I also liked how nuanced the villain was, and can tell that the director purposely portrayed him as such. And not to mention under the same circumstances, I'd probably do the same

Tho if there was one thing that was a negative for the movie that I have to say, it's probably the build up felt too long, but then again, it was understandable given the premise (still not exactly sure why Ken and his mom relocated elsewhere from his dad tho)

I'm also slightly perturbed at the fact that Professor Sato's Ultra aged so quickly in just 20 years where Ultras in the series can seem to not age a day even after 10 000 years. But if TsuPro wants to reconcile this in subsequent UGF installments, they could probably just say that they hail from an Ultra species that age the same as humans or sth with the same lifespans, or that he remain too far away from the source of his home planet that he's bascially shriveled up after 20 years or sth

Overall, this film can definitely be enjoyed by all even for us hardcore fans. Shannon also did mention that he has ideas for 2 more sequels (like ShinU) but it'll depend on how this movie does. Definitely looking forward to a trilogy series directed by Shannon indeed

[hannamoon143]

Hey there!

An angst hyunin with main character jeongin who is in love with his patrolling partner in police station that he (hyunjin) is a criminal or sth and jeongin won't understand till he going to follow investigation. He has a grudge against the criminal because he hurt one of his family members and this motivated him to become a policeman in contrast to his soft spirit.he wish he would never became a policeman and never understood that hyunjin is the criminal...now hyunjin also knows and he have to kill his love or arrested for him.

^_________^

Why him?

Genre:Angst,Crime story, Fluff,hurt/no comfort

Pairings: non idol jeongin x non idol hyunjin

Warnings:throwing up,crime,yk police stuff,crying,mentions of food,sickness(like a cold or smth),Heartbreaking stuff😔🙌 (I'm sure i forgot something)

a/n: Remember this is a work of fiction and doesn't refer to the real members.Only most characteristics and some details are the same like in real life. @uleeversly here is what came out from your request.I hope you like it.<3

not proofread (Bad grammar and stuff)

Jeongin was now a policeman since three years . When jeongin was 16 years old a criminal robbed his whole neighbourhood when he was at school.But the worst part was that the criminal shot his little brother in his leg.From the moment when he saw his little brother that he loved more than anything at the hospital,he gave a promise to himself.No matter how long it would take,he would find this criminal,and arrest him.That was now 7 years ago.The hate he felt against this human was still the same,also if he didn't even know who it was.

Jeongin only wanted to become a policeman beacuse of this criminal,totally against his soft nature,but today he loved his job.He loved the thought that he could prevent situations like the one he was in 7 years ago.And maybe the love for his job also laid a little bit on his patrolling partner hyunjin.When jeongin saw hyunjin for the first time he was mesmerized by Hyunjin.Jeongin and Hyunjin went on patrouille together once a week.They always talked a lot while they slowly drove through the dark city.They always had the night shifts together.

Also if Jeongin was able to see Hyunjin all week at the police station he looked forward to that one day every week.It was just the two of them sharing their thoughts and laughing together.Jeongin caught feelings for hyunjin long ago.But the problem was they were just friends,and the worse part they were colleagues.But jeongin still enjoyed every little minute he had with hyunjin.

So when they drove through the sleeping city they talked like always,but suddenly Jeongin thought about that they always talked all night long but somehow he anyways knew nothing about hyunjin.So when Hyunjin still giggled about a joke jeongin made earlier Jeongin asked:

"Hyunjin?"

"Hmm?"

"Rigth now i thought,you never told me something about your past.Where do you actually come from?"

Hyunjins smile faded away. "Is this important?I think people should concentrate more on the future and not so much on the past."His look was cold now.

Jeongin didn't know why Hyunjin reacted like this.Did he say something wrong?Jeongin,soft like he was, quickly apologised,because he felt like he didn't respect Hyunjins privacy.

As Hyunjin (who by the way drove the car) looked at Jeongin his gaze softened.

"Jeongin,you don't need to apologise,i'm just very sensitive about my past you know?"

Jeongin understood this.But as they drove on it was quiet.Jeongin wanted to understand why Hyunjin didn't want to talk about his past.But he didn't ask again.

Suddenly the car made a weird sound.

"What was that??"Jeongin asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know maybe the engine?"Hyunjin said,because he knew absolutely nothing about cars,but didn't want to worry jeongin.

Then the car made a few more humming noises but then it stopped and a cloud of smoke came out of the hood.Jeongin and Hyunjin got out of the car.It was freezing.Of course it was,it was Winter. "Ah shit,we need to phone someone who can repair this"Hyunjin said alittle bit angry "Give me your phone please?" he then asked ,looking Jeongin in the eyes.

"take your own,my battery is empty"he answered.

They had a little problem now,because Hyunjin left his phone at home.As he told Jeongin his eyes grew big.What were they supposed to do now?As they looked around there were no people and all stores were closed.And it got really cold.Jeongin was very sensitive about coldness,and he also panicked because they were stuck somewhere in a part of the city he didn't know.He started trembling and panicking,but tried not to let hyunjin notice but he did anyways.Hyunjin looked at the trembling jeongin panick in the eyes.For a short moment Hyunjin asked himself why Jeongin got a police man when he panicked so easily.But then he took his jacket out of the car and asked jeongin "You want this?" Jeongin got a warm feeling in his stomach,but said "No i'm fine,really?" Hyunjin looked at him and said "No,you are trembling.And also you don't have to worry i promise everything will be alright." Jeongin got lost in hyunjins eyes and now took the jacket.When he before was a little bit scared because Hyunjin reacted so cold on one of his question he now remembered why he was in love with Hyunjin.

They both sat back into the car,because it was still a little bit warm.Suddenly Hyunjin opened a secret compartment (It was normally for a gun,but for some reason Hyunjin put food into it.) Hyunjin took out two granola bars,and handed one Jeongin.Jeongin chuckled,"Why do you have food in there?" With his mouth full Hyunjin answered "I like to be prepared for everything" He pouted thinking that jeongin would judge him. Jeongin found this so adorabole he started giggling like crazy until he choked on the granola bar. He started coughing and hyunjin patted his back.But as jeongins face started getting redder and redder hyunjin got worried.But then suddenly jeongin opened the cardoor and got out at time when he threw up.Jeongin was so embarassed.He thought Hyunjin would now laugh at him or find him gross.

But hyunjin rushed over to him with a concerned look and without noticing he lightly stroked jeongins hair. "Is everything alright Innie?"he asked worried. Jeongin forgot to asnwer.Did hyunjin just call him Innie?And was he stroking his hair? Jeongin felt like he was on cloud seven,and started blushing.Then he remembered he had to answer so he just nodded.Hyunjin secretly adored the way jeongin was blushing,he didn't even know why,but is somehow looked cute.

They both sat in the car again and they talked.They talked for hours.But this time it was different from all the other nights when they patrolled togehter.In those nights they were colleagues who joked toghether and just talked about random stuff,but this night felt different.As hyunjin told jeongin a story and he didn't respond when he was done hyunjin saw that jeongin fell asleep.He couldn't help but smile.He looked adorable.Hyunjin careful stroked his hair back,and when jeongin moved he thought he woke him up but he didn't.Instead he laid his head on hyunjins shoulder and nuzzled into the crook of his neck.Hyunjin was like frozen.He didn't want to wake jeongin up,and this felt so.. so comfortable.Hyunjin admired jeongins peaceful sleeping face for a while until he drifted off to sleep too.

"Hello? Excuse me,you young men in the police car?"

Jeongin opened his eyes.Where was he? Oh.After three seconds everything from last night came back.He must have fallen asleep.Jeongins cheeks turned pink when he noticed that his head laid on hyunjins shoulder.Wait,hyunjins arm was around jeongin.Hyunjin still slept peacefully,holding jeongin like a plushie.Jeongin wished he could have admired this cute picture a little longer,but then hyunjin also woke up from the voice of the man that stood in front of the car.Jeongin had forgotten him totally.

As hyunjin noticed how he held jeongin he also blushed and immediately let go of him.Both of them didn't say anything.Then they both got out of the car ,and explained their situation to the man.And he then called the towing service.

When jeongin usually got home after a night shift he would immediately go to sleep,but today he couldn't stop thinking about the wonderful moments with hyunjin yesterday,and how hyunjin held him so tight,he barely could even breathe but still it was somehow comforting.Then suddenly Jeongin noticed,that he still had Hyunjins jacket on.He smelled on it,and it had the familiar mix of his cologne and...him. Jeongin didn't stop thinking about hyunjin the whole day.And then also the night.

As jeongin drove to the police station the next day,he was disappointed because hyunjin wasn't there.His co workers told him that hyunjin was sick and that's why he didn't come.Jeongin felt guilty because Hyunjin must have gotten sick because of the cold night,and he gave his jacket to jeongin.

So jeongin was kinda bored untill his co workers from the department for long time cases wanted something from him.

"We know you probably gave up on this,but when you came to us you gave everyhting to find the criminal that robbed your neighbourhood once.And we didn't think we would ever find them but yesterday we received a information from an anonym person that will help us a lot.We can't say anything about it now,but we will stick with it,and if that's okay for you,we will contact you as soon as we find something out"

Jeongin thanked him and went back to his desk.He didn't know what to feel.His collegaue was right,he gave up two years ago,and that maybe the criminal would get caught now,after seven years was a little bit confusing for him,but he tried not to think to much about it.

When jeongin drove home after work he suddenly got a call from hyunjin.He never called him before.Jeongin again got a warm feeling in his stomach,as he asnwered the call.

"Hey innie... I know it's late and you're probably exhausted and i hate to bother you but uhm,could you maybe come over,because as you probably heard i'm sick and i can't feed my dog kkami,but she needs something to eat,but you can also say no,you were just the first personn that came to my mind"

Jeongin smiled at the thought that hyunjin first thought of him when he needed help.And he couldn't describe how much he loved it when hyunjin called him innie.So he said yes,and he didn't even drive home,he immediately drove to the adress hyunjin gave him.As hyunjin told him,there was a spare key under the doormat.When he got in he smelled hyunjins familiar scent. When hyunjin heard the door of his apartment open,he croaked "i'm here"

Jeongin followed the hoarse voice until he got to hyunjins bedroom.He looked pale and all sweaty,but he was snuggled up in a big blanket. Jeongin didn't like seeing him weak like this,and felt the urge to apologise.

"I'm so sorry Jinnie,it's my fault that you are sick,i took your jacket and i should have gave it back to you.And right now i remember i still have your jacket.I'm so sorry,i'm gonna bring it to you tomorrow."

Jeongin apologised not noticing that he just called hyunjin jinnie.But Hyunjin did.He smiled a little bit.Jeongin must have took it from him,cause he always called him innie.

"No,it isn't your fault,and *cough,cough if you want you can keep the jacket.Oh and kkami is *cough in the living room.Her food is in the green box in the kitchen."Hyunjin said,no he croaked.

Jeongin didn't know why,but he decided to take care of hyunjin.That means he did know why.He loved Hyunjin.

When Jeongin gave kkami her food,he cleaned the kitchen and washed some dishes.Then he decided to cook a soup for hyunjin.While he made that soup,he also cleaned the living room,and prepaired some medicine.When he finally was done with everything he also took hyunjins laptop and then went into his bedroom again.When jeongin came in he winced.

"Oh my god Innie,you scared me,i thought you went home like an hour ago.*Cough" Hyunjin said dramatically.

Jeongin giggled.He helped hyunjin to sit down in a comfortable position and then gave him the soup and his medicine. "Oh i also brought your laptop,i thought maybe you are bored and you wanna watch netflix or something."Jeongin added and gave hyunjin his laptop. Then jeongin said goodbye and wanted to leave but then hyunjin said. "Uhm maybe we could watch a movie together?If you don't have anything important to do."

Jeongin had butterflies in his tomach.Did Hyunjin just invite him?

"My shift tomorrow only starts in the afternoon so yeah why not"he said,trying to sound cool.Hyunjin patted on the place next to him.Jeongin sat down and then they searched for a movie. Hyunjin scrolled and then suggested titanic.Jeongin agreed but said "Please don't laugh at me when i start crying,ok?" Hyunjin chckled and started the film.Jeongin sometimes stealed a glance at hyunjin.He found it beautiful how his expression always changed when something happened.And hyunjin did the same.And one time when they looked at each other the same time they both started blushing and looked down.As the movie carried on and it started getting sad (Yk,when the titanic starts sinking)Jeongin tried not to cry.He always was a very soft person,but tried to hide this fact from others,because he was scared people would laugh at him.Little did he know that Hyunjin found this a very beautiful characteristic, he even was a little jealous how easy jeongin could express and show his emotions.But then as the scene with rose on the door and jack in the water came jeongin couldn't hold his tears in anymore.They streamed down his face,and seemed like they would never stop.Also if Hyunjin knew it only was because of the movie he still hated seeing him cry.But he also wouldn't have denied that he looked pretty when he cried.As the movie was over jeongin still cried.He just hated how it ended.He complained to hyunjin that the end was just so unfair. Jeongin immediately stopped talking when hyunjin suddenly cupped his face with his hands and brushed away the tears with his thumb.This moment was beautiful.They looked each other in the eyes. "Please stop crying,it hurts me to see you in pain"hyunjin whispered.Jeongin felt like he lost his breath.

But unfortunately the moment was over when suddenly kkami came through the door and jumped between jeongin and hyunjin.They both started laughing also if they would have wanted the moment to last longer.Then they decided to watch another movie to fix jeongins broken heart like hyunjin said.As they watched and jeongin glanced over to hyunjin he noticed that he must have fallen asleep.Jeongin stopped the movie and admired Hyunjins slumbering face,just like he did in that car.He knew he should have just went home,but he laid down next to hyunjin,who was now curled up in his big blanket and just looked into his face.He almost was asleep too,but then he suddenly heard Hyunjin mumbling something.At first he thought he woke up,but he was still asleep.But then he mumbled something again.It sounded very unconscious but then he heard his name. "Innie...Innie.. you are.. so pretty...even while.. crying"Was what hyunjin mumbled into his pillow. Did jeongin understand this right? Did hyunjin find him pretty?He smiled.God he was so in love.Then hyunjin did the same thing he did in the car.The only thing different was now that there wasn't something between them.He pulled jeongin to his chest,nuzzling his face into jeongins hair.Jeogin inhaled the scent of hyunjin,the scent he loved the most,one more time and then also drifted off to sleep.Nothing mattered when Hyunjin and Jeongin were together.Except them.

When Jeongin woke up the next morning he immediately remembered where he was.The only thing was,hyunjin wasn't there.As he wanted to get out of the bed hyunjin came through the door with a lovely prepaired breakfast.

"Nooo,you have to stay in bed,yesterday you took care of me,and today i feel a lot better so i take care of you and your broken heart."Hyunjin said in his sweet dramatic way.So Jeongin sat back into the bed,and hyunjin also sat down,together they ate the breakfast,talked and laughed together.When hyunjin complained about the fact that he thought kkami didn't love him,jeongins phone rang.He looked at it and it was his co worker.he muttered an apologise to hyunjin and asnwered the call.

"Hello Jeongin,i said i will inform you about any informations of the criminal.And we don't have a very clear track yet,but we can say that the criminal is still in this city.That was all for now.I will inform you about any news"

Jeongin hung the call up.He didn't know why but that his past was stired up again amde him feel uneasy.

"Is everything alright?"Hyunjin asked.

Jeongin nodded.Jeongin said goodbye and headed home.Hyunjin was confused because he just suddenly went home.

The next days were boring.Jeongin was a little bit uncomfortable these days,because of the invastigation of the criminal.Then finally Hyunjin and Jeongin had a night shift together again.

As they drove thorugh the city like one week ago hyunjin asked: "Innie,is everything alright?You seemed so concerned the past days"Jeogin just nodded.

"Uhmm,you know maybe you have time for a movie tomorrow?Kkami misses you,i think she likes you more than me"Hyunjin said.He sounded a little bit nervous.Jeongin was looking forward to the distraction and to spend time together with hyunjin. "But don't fall asleep again."Jeongin said giggling. "Yah! i was sick",hyunjin said acting like he was angry.But he was just happy to see jeongin smiling again.They talked about what movie they would watch,and joked around.And suddenly the sun rised.The time always was over so quick when Jeongin was with hyunjin.As they both went home,just to see each other in a few hours again,jeongin laid in his bed thinking about hyunjin.Jeongin really liked the way it was now.SInce that one night in the car they definitely got closer.But the problem was,jeongin couldn't ignore his feelings for hyunjin.The more he thought about it he noticed that in the past week his feelings grew a lot.Suddenly he felt like he would burst.For someone like him who always showed their emotion it was really hard to keep his feelings a secret.But if hyunjin didn't feel the same jeongin still wanted their friendship.But it wa so hard,so he decided to tell hyunjin about his feelings today.

Jeongin had only thirty more minutes.Outside his window there was a heavy storm.He sat on his bed the whole day and tried to find a way to confess his feelings for hyunjin.He was so nervous he couldn't even say one straight sentence.As time flew he got in his car and drove to hyunjin.When he got there he knocked on the door,and a few seconds later hyunjin opened the door.Jeongin only got more nervous when he stepped into hyunjins apartment

"I thought this time we maybe watch at the tv,and i also prepaired some snacks"

Jeongin only nodded and smiled and then sat down next to hyunjin.As they watched the film suddenly the tv went black.Not only the tv also the lights around them. Jeongin gasped.How he hated the darkness. "W-what happened?" Jeongin asked a slight panick in his voice. "I think that is becaus of the thunderstorm."Hyunjin said.He didn't care really much to be in the darkness but as he heard jeongins heavy breathing he felt guilty.He didn't know why.He just didn't want to see jeongin in panick.

"Hey Innie,calm down,everything is going to be alright ok?"

"I hate when i can't see what's around me."Jeongin answered with a trebling in his voice.

Hyunjin did the first thing that came to his mind.Something that his mother did when he was scared.He got nearer to jeongin and just closed him into a comforting embrace. "Look i'm here okay? And as long as i'm here you don't have to fear the darkness.And i won't leave,until the darkness disappers."Jeongins heart skipped a beat.That was so sweet.He didn't know why but he felt like this was the right moment.

"Jinnie,i have to tell you something"

Hyunjin didn't say anything but jeongin knew that he had his attention.

"Okay so you know when i saw you the first time i thought wow this guy is so handsome and he seems so nice.But i didn't have the courage to talk to you first so then i was happy when i saw we had to do the night patroll together.And in these nights we always talked and laughed together,so i fell for you.You seemed like a rose in a bouqet of tulips for me.I knew you probably didn't even see me as a friend but i didn't care.But last week after that one night i feel like we got so much closer,and my feelings for you grew so much.I love you Hwang Hyunjin."

"Innie"

"Oh and if you don't feel like that that's totally okay,and if it's like that i hope we can stay friends,i promise i will never bring my feelings up again "

"Jeongin"

"And you don't have to say anything,don't feel guilty i just want-"

Jeongin couldn't continue his nervous speech because suddenly he felt hyunjins soft lips on his.This moment was everything jeongin wanted.Hyunjins scent that smelled like vanilla,eyes closed, their kiss was being carried by the darkness that now didn't seem scaring anymore at all. As jeongin slowly let go of hyunjin he was pretty sure he was smiling the brightest smile ever,he didn't see it but he felt it.The lights turned on again.Voices came out of the tv.But that all didn't matter.Jeongin and Hyunjin looked each other in the eyes ,smiling like crazy.

Jeongin was still in Hyunjins arms,and he just nuzzled more into them.Then they both sat on th couch pretending to watch the movie on the tv,but they both just thought of this moment they would never forget. As it got later and later Jeongin decided to finally go home,also if he would have wanted to stay longer.

At home jeongin couldn't stop smiling.He also didn't sleep much this night but he didn't care.He loved hyunjin.And hyunjin loved him.That was his last thought befor he finally fell into a peaceful sleep.

As jeongin woke up the next morning he was very excited because he would see hyunjin at the police station.As he got up and ate breakfast his phone started ringing.He was a little disappointed,because at first he thought it was hyunjin but it was his colleague that lead the investigation after the criminal.Jeongin answered the call.

"Good morning jeongin,i'm sorry to disturb you so early at the morning but i have news.We caught the criminal."

Jeongin held his breath.

"I would say it is great that we found the criminal,but we are all shocked who it is.And i don't think you will be happy about who it is.Could you please come to the police station immediately?"

"Uhm yes sure." Jeongin said.His heart was pounding.Why did he say that he wouldn't be happy who it is? Was it someone he knew?Jeongin got really nervous,and tried to call hyunjin,because he didn't know what to do.He didn't pick up.So jeongin took his things and drove to the police station. He went in and his co worker immediately was there."So we have him behind at our department.Follow me please" Jeongin didn't say anything.He was so nervous.His hands were all sweaty and his breathing heavy.

He went in.No.No.It wasn't like he thought right? In front of him there sat hyunjin.hyunjin looked at him.Of course he knew why he got caught.But when the man said he was going to call the man whose house it was,and whose little brother he also hurt,he still didn't know that this house he robbed seven years ago was jeongins.Jeongin was pale.He couldn't breathe.And so was hyunjin.Hyunjin wanted to say something but the man behind him said,it was better not to say anything until they asked him.Jeongin didn't know what to do.His ears started ringing.He felt like he was in some kind of fever dream.He needed to get out here.He couldn't look in hyunjins frustrated face any longer,or the face of the criminal..

Jeongin rushed out the room,not listening to anyone.He headed to the bathroom.He locked himself in,and broke down.He couldn't believe this.Or he just didn't want to believe it.He knew hyunjin didn't want to talk about his past,so he assumed something must have happened,but not this.Jeongin started sobbing.This was so overwhelming.Why were the man he loved the most in his life and the man he hated the most the same? Why him? In that moment jeongin wished he never got a police man.Or even better that he would have never find out.He knew if he wouldn't know it would still have happened.But then he could at least have been happy.

Hyunjin begged the men that also were his colleagues that he may talk to jeongin.But as he didn't give up they agreed.There were policemen everywhere,what could happen? Hyunjin rushed to the bathrooms.He thought his heart couldn't shatter more when jeongin walked through that door before.But he was wrong,because it broke even more when he heard jeongins choked sobs.And those were because of him.

"Jeongin please,let me explain this.Open the door."

Jeongin was on the floor.He didn't know if he should open this door.Because he wasn't sure if there was the man he loved ore the man he hated.But unfortunately hyunjin somehow managed to crack the lock.Of course,jeongin thought,he is a criminal.As hyunjin stepped in and got closer to jeongin he winced and got a little more away.It hurted hyunjin so much to see him like this,all he wanted to do was giving jeongin a hug and tell him everything is going to be okay.Tell himself everything is gonna be okay.But he knew it was his fault,and he didn't know if this could ever be fixed.Jeongin didn't even look at hyunjin,he looked down,his tears falling on the cold tiles.His thoughts were so loud and he was so overwhelmed.Everytime the same question:What should i do?

"Jeongin,i know you don't wanna talk with me right now.Probably you don't even wanna see me,but just listen to me okay? When i was younger and... did this.So i got bullied since i was thirteen.I don't know why but yeah.There were these guys.I knew they did illegal things and stuff,but after years of being bullied i wanted to be one of the cool ones.So basically they said if i would make it to rob this neighbourhood and show them everything i got,i could be a part of their gang.Of course i was stupid and naive and believed them.But yeah when i showed them the things i got they took everything and beat me up.They moved to the other side of the world and said if i followed them,they would make my life like hell.So i never did.I wish i had a good apologise,and a excuse that would fix everything but the truth is i haven't."

Jeongin listened to him the whole time.

"Look,i'm sorry for the bullying thing and stuff.But it doesn't change anything for me you know? The whole time since i was sixteen i promised myself i would find this guy and arrest him with my own hands for the thing he did to my brother.And i'm scared. I'm scared because the man i love more than i ever loved someone is now also the man i hate the most."

Now they both sat at the floor crying.Hyunjin also was totally down.Why did he have to do that back then?Why did he stay in the city? Why did he fall in love? But he knew he couldn't change any of these things now.

"Look,i still love you with all my heart.And if you wanna do that then you can climb out the window,and i will pretend like i didn't see anything.I will take them like 30 minutes to notice,enough to drive to the airport and catch a flight to somewhere far away.If you do that i will delete your number from my phone to not get in any trouble.It will be like you never were here."

Hyunjin felt like he couldn't breathe.Because that was the moment he realised he had to choose.The first option was he would let arrest himself,but be near jeongin and be able to talk to him.Or he would go away.Run away from all the trouble,Able to be free somewhere far away,but also run away from jeongin.

Hyunjin stood up. Jeongin also did.Hyunjin pulled Jeongin into his tight embrace.Then he kissed him softly,a tear running down his face.

"I love you Yang Jeongin.I think i always will.And maybe someday we will meet again.But i think it hurts less if we don't have to see each other always.We both know a little piece of you could never forget what i did.And i know that is selfish,but it's also easier for me"Hyunjin whsipered trying to hold back the tears.

"I love you too,Hwang Hyunjin.More than anything in my life"Jeongin sobbed.

Then Jeongin kissed Hyunjin one more time.The last time.He didn't want him to go.There was nothing he'd like to do more thank beg hyunjin on his knees to stay.To say that they would togehter find a way to get him out of this.That they could find a way to be happy.But he knew that hyunjin was right.Hyunjin let go of jeongin and slowly turned him his back.He climbed up to the window.He was almost outside but he looked back one more time,forcing himself to a painful smile,and said "But please do me one favor.Never forget me please." Then he was gone.Maybe gone forever. Jeongin couldn't believe that the light he searched for so long in the dark tunnel of life,was gone again after just one week.

Both of them would never be the same.Their hearts were shattered into a million pieces.Maybe one of them would move on,would create himself a happy life with a family.Perhaps even both. Or probably their ways would cross again somewhere in the future.But maybe none of them would.Maybe they would both never be able to move on.The love of their live gone forever.

[obsessedwiththedragonprince]

Se4 ep6 thoughts

I love how Soren sees the dragon and is immediately like: ✨️friends✨️? Big puppy energy. Looks so innocent!! Well that didn't go well.

No-one looking for Soren? Yikes. Wow Rayla took you long enough lmao. Not like he didn't come home last night!

Whatcha doing? while Ezran's discovering he's the new spiderman.

Zubeia will not be pleased.

Finally some thought to the freaking anonymous elf!! Did i mention how much i am loving the accent? Because yes.

Lmao Raylaa

What is this????

Like ig there was a different light source and they changed it later but does no-one watch this like, I dunno, a thousand times before it's released??

My distracted ass had to go make these gifs mid episode because why not. And this was my first time making one so when i clicked the tick and it didn't appear as an option in my videos from gallery i tried again. And again. And again. Then realised i had four of them in the gallery. So yeah. That happened.

Anyway continuing my watch. Lmaoo not even 6 minutes. Oops...

Poor Bait getting knocked overr. And again why can Ez see through Zym's eyes? Will we ever know?

Amaya it is not just a fricking candlee. Like I love you but show some respect please. Okay that escalated quickly. Is there no way to like, give the elf some comfort or something that doesn't involve killing? Like yes i actually get why death would be an appropriate punishment cause in their eyes extinguishing that candle is prolly worse than killing someone cause if u kill they still get to the afterlife but. I think the focus should also be on the elf and doing sth for his benefit?

Um i guess earthblood elves don't know he's the dragon prince? Cause otherwise they have some serious trouble coming. Is Callum going to save the day? This blackout transition was a bit unusual. Looked fine but not really their style?

Are we getting some info on elven politics? Masked guys? This little smile thing between Karim and one of Six Horns... he did some bribing? Hope not cause this could turn ugly. It prolly will who am i lying to.

'Don't u remember who u are' felt a little forced to me. They often have those inspiring speeches that don't feel like they belong there. Why isn't Callum flying around looking for Zym? And why wasn't he their 'eyes' to begin with?

The kiddo is back again! Kinda didn't like that was all we saw of him so welcome back!

Karim u little shit. I don't yet know what he's planning but i feel it in my bones it ain't nothing good. Best case he just wants them gone from Xadia. Hopefully.

Why did that elf go after Rayla? Because they are so-called protectors? That little Bait smile lmaooo. Another gif incoming.

I am a pro now.

Anyway.

Amaya on the side of the elves yes please. But i think she'll do the same Karim did with some kind of I dunno. Not clearing her of guilt completely but sth. Yess compassionate justice pleasee. I feel like they won't listen cause it'd be too good to be true but still. Prolly Karim bribing people won't help. Still not sure if he did.

This catching dragons really reminds me of HTTYD. This boy is the next Hiccup. N'than i love youuu.

Damn for a moment i really thought she'll cut her hands off. Ig that wouldn't really belong on screen but i thought the same for blood so...

this was so good!! I loved it! I actually cried Just hope Janai didn't undermine herself and look weak in the eyes of other elves. I feel like this was also more realistic so they didn't escalate things for no reason. Just show them all trying to get along. Sometimes successfully, other times less so. In love with how Janai said compassion

This entire scene was a masterpiece idc. How the architect broke down crying from relief and stress, the shrine idea, how the elf subtly accepted this as retribution, how it drove a divide between Karim and Janai, how logical the punishment was, it will be the greatest work of my life... just. Peak animation.

I knew it! The Pit of Despair, answer to all our prayers.

Will Karim and Janai fix things or will Karim not be understanding? Again a pretty scene, and Karim doesn't look hostile so far so yayy

I wanted to ask before but how long did Rayla and Soren actually knew each other? Cause i was under the impression that Rayla left practically at the end of se3 but Soren acted like they were kinda close earlier and now Rayla sounds really distressed?

Ohh Karimm lover boyy! Is he going to usurper her? Really?

Lmaoo Soren late to the party😂😂 omgg they're so cuteeee! ✨️friends✨️ for real now

The happiness on his face🥹

OMGG SIBLINGS REUNIONN!!!!

[burthummels]

ok i changed my mind about drawing all the hair colours bc that's actually a lot of work that i don't have the energy for rn (silly art block and whatnot) and i don't wanna make u wait forever bc i'd forget etc etc i'm so sorry i'm a massive mess rn

ANYWAY i wanna preface this list by saying that i think black is a great colour on all of them! thinking specifically about that time jimin got compared to prince eric <3 and tae's recent pretty black curls (gone but never forgotten) but they all look good with black hair and i will not hear otherwise 😤

joon:

i think joon looks really good with light hair in general but i am particularly weak for grape!joon <3 his spring day/not today soft purple hair is everything to me

jin:

u are so so right about purple jin but may i offer u blond and pink jin as well! i think that almost platinum blond makes him look so ethereal and it very much fits the way his voice sounds to me. and shoutout to the pink for being so pretty on him

yoongi:

ok tbh i think black is his best colour however!! this ashy brown hair is super pretty

and shoutout to platinum blond agust d bc this was a Look he is so iconic for doing this

hobi:

i second the reddish brown tbh that is the colour i wish my hair was rn but i am realising very quickly that i can't pull it off quite like him ksfjhgkfd </3 anyway i also love whatever is going on with his hair in the spring day mv i think that should be an honourable mention

jimin:

jimin is a natural blond to me too tbh. especially when it looks all soft and fluffy i think he looks so cozy and gentle and huggable!! i'm also very weak for the pink tho like spring day jimin is everything to me and i was so happy when the pink made a comeback

tae:

tae looks good in literally every colours it's so unfair to the rest of us </3 out of the really bright colours my faves were red and blue tho! tae in the save me mv really imprinted on me in ways i can't describe dkfgjh and then when he had blue hair and jimin had pink hair 💞💞💞 looking so bright and colourful together i love them sm <33

but also!! this fluffy curly brown on him!!! when people were saying he looked like a poodle!! so so soft i fucking love it i want to play with his hair

jungkook:

i think i'm mainly used to seeing black/brown on him bc he had those colours for so long but! cherry kook or even just the red tips that i don't remember but found when i was looking up his red hair <3 idk there's just sth about this look that really hits to me

omg grape!joon how could i ever forget !!!! the sweetest angel anctually !!!! i love light hair on him :( it's just so !!! aah oh wowowow he's so my everything shaped and these pictures just prove it actually like i'd do anything for him

oh yes i am so glad you offered up blonde and pink jinnie !! he is so ethereal and soft and he just looks like he should be a prince somewhere like ,,,, he's so right when he calls himself worldwide handsome like he KNOWS he's so pretty and he's right

ASHY BROWN WITH THE HEADBAND LIKE I THINK IM GONNA SHORT CIRCUIUT !!!!!!! AND THEN PLATINUM AGUST D?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!!! LIKE ARE U TRYING TO MAKE ME EXPLODE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOD no yoongi just ,,,,,,, og i become insane any time i look at him actually like there is something inside of my body that just insantly gives me the feeling of wanting to bite on glass and scream like ,,,,,, GOD min yoongi

my best friend hobi my best friend !!!! the red hair !!!! ooooh that hobi is just has such a special place in my heart like idk i look at him and i am simply filled with joy and happiness and my saddness melts away (that's any hobi but red hair hobi just <333 baby boy) and yes !!!! the spring day hair w the red streaks !!! aaah he looks so cute in it 🥺 and his eyes look so pretty in that photo too and that choker of im 🥺🥺🥺

NATURAL BLONDE JIMIN STANS RISE !!!!!!!! yes when it's soft and fluffy !!!!! oh it's perfect and i jsut wanna give him all the hugs !!! and you're sosososososo correct about pink jimin like that is also just a precious huggable angel sorry and i think i'd love to see a pink!jimin comeback again i think it would bring world peace

the fact that tae just...... looks good in everything... im sick to my stomach.... how is it FAIR !!! OH BLUE AND PINK JIMIN !!!! MY COTTON CANDY TWINS !!!!! THEY JUST !!!! OH THEY JUST LOOK SO PERFECT TOGETHER !!!! (maybe they're more jollyrancher colored but it doesn't have the same ring) but oh tae in the save me mv is imprinted in my mind and i will rewatch it jsut for himsdkfjhlsd but poodle!tae !!! oh what a sweet boy !! that live where jk was just putting forks in his hair sdjkfhaldskfh

OH JUNGKOOK MY SWEET BABY STAR CANDY JUNGKOOK WHO IWOULD LITERALLY DO ANYTHING FOR !!!!! i look at him and i am instintaniously the heart eyes emoji like i can't help it that just who i am and jungkook is my babygirl that's how the world is !!!! but yes the reeeeed cherry !!!! it's so good !!! i love when you can still see his roots but there's color there i think that's the best way to do color for his hair !!!! oh it's just <33333 wow,,,,, im looking at those photos and im simply just here to be a in love w jungkook like i think that's what im put on this planet for (also soobin behind jk in the first photo made me giggle a little sdjhfakld)

!!!! spring day bangtan is just something that can be so personal and so full of love and emotion like.... wow.... !!!

[silverbladexyz]

Pianoman with a reader who can actually play the piano

This was written out of curiosity and my half-dead brain. Also, this was inspired by a conversation I had with @pixyys​

Slight Stormbringer spoilers below!

TW: Mentions of killing, teensy bit suggestive but nothing over the top

The image does not belong to me. It belongs to it’s original owner.

-When you first heard his name, you thought ‘huh, does he play the piano or something?’ Cuz I’m pretty sure that’s what everybody first thought lol

-But when you actually meet him and know where he gets his name from, you were like 😮

-Like... Pianoman. Can’t you change your name to something like Wireman or sth? /j

-One time, you two were hanging around and chilling at the bar when the topic of hobbies and interests were brought up. So you said that you liked playing the piano, and you were pretty good at it

-Pianoman is interested. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know a lot about the piano, so he asks you a lot of questions about the instrument

-Like ‘How many keys are on the piano?’ and ‘What do the three pedals do?’ But I feel like he’d mostly ask questions about piano wires

-So you literally tell him ‘Piano wires can hold around 72-100kg of tension, and it lasts for around 30 years before snapping. And yes, it actually is strong enough to behead people.’ Don’t ask me how I know this /j

-This makes him curious, and the conversation turns into you talking about the history of people getting killed with piano wires, and how piano wire used as an assassination method was called a ‘garrote’

-You two are more closer now due to the similar interests in piano. The Flags certainly notice this and tease you both for it, but Pianoman just scolds them

-Over time, your bond with him deepens, and he even starts to listen to you play piano. I feel like Pianoman appreciates any type of music, and classical music wasn’t something that he listened to often, so he always looks forward to when you play the piano

-One time, you literally nailed La Campanella and afterwards, when he asked you how you did it, you just shrugged and said ‘it’s just practice’

-Man is s h o o k. Afterall, La Campanella didn’t really seem like the type of piece that pianists would use as practice *cries in small hands*

-Speaking of hands, you sometimes compared hand sizes with his. Pianoman has pretty long and slender fingers, long enough to curl his fingertips over yours Imagine what those fingers could do Ahem he’d be great at playing the piano 😁

-Pianoman would actually be down to learning the piano from you. He’s actually quite a fast learner, and thanks to his long fingers, it helps him to reach octaves easier. I bet that he can actually play Fur Elise a few months in of learning piano

-If your hands are sore from playing piano too much, Pianoman would tease you a bit for it, but he’ll actually massage your hands for you. His massages are so nice I’m jealous

-You even start doing musician pickup lines on him. Pianoman was flustered at first, but he quickly got back at you and made you even more flustered than him ^-^

-^ The first time, you went up to him and said ‘You know, you’re just like my piano. As long as you’re mine, you’ll never get played.’ Man legit blushes a bit and freezes up internally, but he slips his arm around your waist while tilting your face up with his other hand, and says ‘But who said I didn’t want to get played by you?~’ in the smoothest and smexiest voice you’ve ever heard him use bro Pianoman who said you could be this fine

-He would also like playing piano duets with you! But be warned, everytime he messes up, Pianoman would want to start again since he would want it to be perfect. Just gently but firmly tell him that pianists don’t stop and correct themselves whenever they make a mistake, because it disrupts the whole nature of the piece. He understands that, but it still makes him kinda annoyed whenever he messes up lol

-Did play you a romantic piece on your birthday <333 and you were quite proud of him, since it was a hard piece too. Although it wasn’t perfect, it was perfect enough for you 🥰

-Please don’t make him start dropping pianos on his victims or plucking out wires from the piano to substitute for his industrial-grade wire. He wouldn’t really do that though, because if he does I’m personally going to slap him 😀 /hj

Sorry if this was bad, I’m half sick rn and stressed over my piano exam results.

@pixyys​ @pianotross​ @the-mourning-stars​ @fi-nn-losofia​ @nekokinax​ @angolicious​

[maddu-oliveira]

ok so i am glad you write for jason todd and also it's my first time requesting for sth lol.

so reader is a virgin and so nervous about sex because she thinks it will hurt her and jason and she have a talk about it and jason comforts her. doesn't have to be a smut i just wanna see the dialogue

⭐My Sweet Girl⭐

warnings: +16 content, mentions of virginity and sex, the rest is just fluff

word count: 602

A/N: thanks for the request, I just can imagine Jason being cute and sweet when it comes to his loved one and just with them. This is short but I hope is what you wanted :)

You were lying on Jason's bed playing with his hair while he had his head in your lap with his eyes closed, having peace after weeks in a mission that almost got him killed and made you really worried. Admiring your boyfriend with a smile, noticing every detail of him from his perfect curly hair to the little scars he had.

"I can feel you staring, baby" he said, making you blush hard and pinch him on the neck.

"I thought you were sleeping, J!"

Jason laughed at your reaction dodging your slaps even though he knew you wouldn't hurt him, then he held your hands over your head and hovering you with his body. A cheeky smile appeared in his face when he saw your face getting red, he started kissing your face carefully and lowering his lips to your neck sending shivers down your spine.

"How can you look so sexy and cute at the same time?" he whispered close to your lips.

You were so tensed up from his actions, liking it but also afraid of what would come next, closing your eyes just feeling him kissing and biting your neck. He was being delicate even though he wanted you so desperately, letting go of your hands just to put him on your waist and getting himself between your legs.

"J-Jason... I-" you put your shaking hands on his shoulders to hold him back making him look at you concerned.

"Are you okay, baby?"

"Yeah I think... Is just- just that I-" you couldn't manage to finish the sentence without feeling embarrassed.

"It's okay, my girl," he said, pulling away and sitting by your side.

"I'm sorry, J..." biting your lips and hiding your face with your hands.

"For what, my girl? You did nothing wrong" he took your hands kissing them and smiling at you.

"Because I know what you want and- and I can't give you that without being fucking scared"

Jason quickly understood what you meant by making him squeeze your hands in a loving way to make you feel safe with him. He brought one of his hands to your face, stroking your cheek and smiling.

"My girl, it doesn't matter what I want here but what you want" his voice was calm trying to show you that it was true what he was saying. "I can wait for you for a hundred years and I will still be happy just to have you by my side"

"It's just that I'm a virgin, J"

"I know, that's why I want you to only agree to try to go to the next step when you really want to and are comfortable with it" he kisses your hand again.

"I'm afraid it will hurt or that I won't be as good for you..."

"Hey hey! You're perfect for me in any way, sweet" he approached to kiss your cheek. "First time will give you a little pain but nothing that you can't handle, you're my tough girl"

"I know you're trying to comfort me but... I can't stop thinking that you have a lot more experience than me"

"It doesn't matter cause I want you to feel safe and good with me... Make your first time be perfect and next ones too" Jason smirked joking and earning a look from you that couldn't hold the smile.

"You are incredible, Jason! Thank you for understanding... I will try to not think too much about it" you peck his lips and hug him.

"Anything for my sweet girl" he kissed your forehead and you two stayed there hugging each other.

[ganondoodle]

(more elden ring radahn thoughts)

on whats really left of him .. and his soul? general too many thoughts about him- long post and probably incoherent, but you know me, im never coherent anyway, many thoguhts, head full, quite literally

in base game, he has lost his mind we are told, and clearly he isnt like he used to be, but we really dont know the extend of it hes clearly capable of fighting rather .. controlled; its not like hes biting and clawing after you, he still uses his swords (and bow, sth he doesnt even have in dlc) and magic, we know even in this condition he held back the stars AND still fought you hard at the same time (i know undead people can still fight in elden ring, pls hear me out)

and i wonder .. how much of his mind did he really lose, obviously some since he eats people now which isnt sth he used to do, but ... we dont know how talkactive he used to be, we get one (two? i can only think of one) quotes from him in the descriptions of an item, he might have been a man of few words already, so him not talking at all isnt that good of a measure (not saying its the only measure, just wanted to mention), resorting to eating people that atack you might just be an act of desperation too

we get told he kills friend and foe alike (and im not questioning that really) but in his cutscene we see him drag along the bodies of cleanrot knights, who are under direct dommand of malenia, and by extend miquella, im guessing they kept sending them after him to finish him off; now knowing that him dying means being sent to the realm of shadow, to miquella, and NOT knowing if he wanted that, i feel that that detail has grown in importance-

when you start the fight, hes rather defensive, shooting at you almost immediately upon you entering the arena with no extra cutscene either, what he shoots at you a long ranged gravitation bolts that stop you dead in tracks with a very high stagger rate and if you are on torrent it stagger you off of it; i know it could be just tactical and bc all he knows now is to fight as best as he can BUT, you could also look at it as a defensive strategy, to keep you away, and away from him .. even though you are not told he is afraid to die and he eats people now, sure he could come over there and snack on you once he shot you enough times, but the important thing is that you as a threat to his life is eliminated AND he doesnt seem to have some sort of insatiable hunger for people that makes him charge and snap at you immediately, there could be self control there still (if i wanted to reach a little further i could also say he could be trying to keep you away from him not jsut to save himself but to save you from him too, but thats a reach and i know that)

once you get close enough he usually changes to fire a salve of arrows that fall from the sky and follows you around, also high in stagger- its only when you get too close that he pulls out his swords and charges at you

his arena is interestign as well, its a piece of land in caelid that is inaccessible (unless you can fly?) from all sides, a barren battlefield only reached through a teleporter, im not sure if it is the same place as when he fought malenia or not (wasnt that in the middle of caelid where you find the rot needle?) but i doubt anyone could have put him there against his will, so did he .. go there himself? or stay there for that matter- how quickly do you lose yourself when infected with rot? and how quickly for him, since hes a demigod? did he intentionally isolate himself there? make it harder to reach him for both friend and foe alike?

another point is that most enemies (as far as i can think of) that are infected with rot/are in caelid also deal rot damage, radahn does not, hes even really vunerable to it in fact, its an intersting detail to me bc he only uses either standard attacks or gravitational magic, given that hes been in this condition for a long time and its caelid id expect the rot to be somewhat important there, but its not

how much has he really lost his mind, is he really as mindless as jerren makes him out to be? is he trying to stay alive no matter what, isolating himself on an (almost) island and only living off what comes there, which is usually people that want to kill him, be it friend or foe, all are out for his life one way or another, could it be defensive ... desperate even? no one but him and miquella/malenia seem to know that him dying means hes put into the land of shadow, where miquella is waiting for him; (why wouldnt he tell anyone? was he not able to? was he afraid to upset the golden order by spilling it out?) could he know that would be the end of him having his own will, knowing what miquella can do to people? ... perhaps even .... having been manipulated by him before when he was less experienced and more in direct vicinity to him, to promise something he doesnt actually want?

this is a reach too but ... could he be trying to make himself unusable for miquella, theres no real cure for the rot, could he have decided to stay alive as long as he can to both destroy his own body (and soul even?) intentionally so it cant be used against his will, like a desperate act to destroy himself rather than become someones unwilling puppet? did he succeed in both somewhat but not enough to become fully worthless and unsalvageable? just how much would he have had to destroy himself for him to become useless to miquella, is there even a limit? would he have been "revived" no matter what, no matter what little was left of him?

how is he mindless, yet his soul it taken when you kill him, his body beyond repair, but his soul intact? that seems like the opposite of what he is, and you are told he is, in the base game to me (maybe hes just fallen into madness i guess, but given the soul is like .. the self, he should be mad in the dlc too then, unless miquella can just pick out the parts he likes and throw away the rest .... which isnt impossible either)

now, there could be the argument that he might have actually agreed to it, hes been a big fan of godfrey, who is a consort to marika, a god, and little more than her pawn as well, his 'young' look you see at the end of the dlc could also be connected to it, the braids i thought where a sign of miquellas influence could also be just how he looked back then, an imitation of godfreys hairstyle- and we dont know for sure he didnt used to have them even after gettign older since they could just have loosened after spending so much time in a zombie lite condition (or is it?)-- but his portrait in volcano manor doesnt seem to have them either, hes also sporting the armor you see in base game (i think) there the fact that, according to godfrey, strength is the only thing that matters and to become a consort you need to be the strongest of all to be worthy, could also be interpreted that way- though i dont if he would have wanted to replace the golden order, he was a fan and follower of it, did he even think of it the implications? did he even know? was he just young and stupid? (very possible tbh)

then theres the idea of there being less left of his soul, so in the dlc he is barely if anything at all, himself, both in body AND soul, how much was there even left after all that time in caelid, he is silent except for like two grunts he does also in base game (he has more sounds there too), completely unexpressive, with very few gravitation magic, in the second phase miquella literally snakes his arms around his neck, almost every single attack is filled with light magic, clearly coming from miquella and not him (i know bringing up leonard might seem overemphasizing his role, but in these games what information you get is very scarce so every bit you do learn is important and was written intentionally- but he stayed together with him in caelid, all his attacks involve him in one way or another, he only started to learn that magic for leonard, so radahn didnt have too abandon him as he got too large to ride him, he uses gravitation in dlc too, so it means that at the point of his life that he is recreated as he already had leonard or that that is a sign of whatever is left of his soul that comes from a much older him, and if it is, its very little) (also this is a reach too but most enemies with horses have separate health bars, he doesnt, he and leonard basically share the same health bar, literally inseperable uwu)

"theres no evidence hes mindcontrolled" people say to me. have you seen him? how he acts? or more, how he DOESNT act? that miquellas entire deal is THAT HE BEWITCHES PEOPLE, ffs he STEALS YOUR HEART if you get grabbed by him twice in the dlc fight- theres no evidence he wasnt either, you are told they had a vow, but you never know what exactly that was, when it was (in the memory of miquella wishing for radahn to be his consort you only see miquella- was it a silly wish between kids tha miquella never grew out of?), in what circumstances, you never get to hear radahn say anything about it, its completely left out, thats a little unrelieable to me! idk!

but fine, maybe he did agree to it, maybe he thought being a consort to a god would make him just as cool as godfrey, maybe he fought malenia, who was said to be undefeated, only to prove he had the strength worthy of being a consort and it backfired when malenia infected him with the rot (why then? also he doesnt look exactly thrilled about what she say to him in the trailer but that could be just me too i guess lolololol), maybe he wanted to die all along but his pride meant he couldnt just let the rot win, maybe the festival was really what he wished for and told no one what the real goal was, maybe he wasnt rotten in the first place and just acted that part so he had an excuse to die without having to fight with all his strength as even the undefeated warrior wasnt able to beat him, maybe becoming a consort to miquella was worth leaving leonard behind to him, maybe he wanted to be nothing but a pawn to a god, to be used and discarded, maybe he really believed in miquellas wish for a "gentle" world (aka all love miquella)

it makes sense, im not going to lie about that, but the other does too- and in the end, we will never know what the truth is! we will never know if that was what he wanted, or if he was manipulated even back then, i wish we could to see his part, his voice, his will, but we never will, and it doesnt matter, in the end it doesnt matter if he wanted it or not, the fact remains hes a silent frankensteins monster of miquella, expression- and personalityless, a voiceless pawn to a god that steals everyones hearts

i dont need to be "right", i like to think about things, i am in the camp of he didnt want to or decided against it, but it doesnt really matter, even if miyazaki himself went onto stage and loudly declared that yes it was all planned from the start and radahn was in on it the whole time- i still would think the other way around it, i jsut think about him alot, i want to question things instead of taking everythign i hear at face value, especially when its very strangely told from one side, i will question every little thing if i only hear one side, no matter how much sense it makes or not, it makes me suspicious

(i some of this can be attributed about purely gameplay stuff, like the change in armor so he doesnt look the same etc, but i dont care, i like to think about the implications it brings with it, intentionally or not)

and there he is in a barren battlefield, eating the remains of whoever enters his isolated cage with the intent to kill him, never succeeding, howling like a lonely old wolf at the sky, is it desperation about a fate he cannot escape, grief about what hes done or failed to do, is it a call of yearning? for freedom?

we dont know. and it doesnt matter.

[sj0228]

astro notes for fun lol

HEY! this is my first astro observations post so don't be too hard on me lol unless u wanna then sure maybe i can improve them somehow BUTANYWAYZ this is for entertainment purposes only!! obviously these are just my own observations so if they don't resonate with you don't get offended or you're a big ol' 🅱️uss so here they are!! also SHOUTOUT TO MY AMAZING FRIENDS fyi i got sum help from them by asking them billions of questions to confirm my suspicions so uh hope that makes the observations more accurate LOL ANYWAYS HERE THEY ARE!! i'll probably make more in the future cuz i think they're super fun to make :D also if u couldnt tell uhm this isnt very professional im not professional BUT I TRIED TO MAKE IT PRETTY so pls dont be bothered lol im just doing this for fun i didnt even wanna make an astro page so yea </3pretty unreliable LMAOOO

👩🏻‍🦲 the house your mars is in is what pisses you off the most!! (eg. 1st - people assuming things about you, 5th - people beating around the bush, 7th - things that disrupt the harmony of your environment, 9th - the need to hold back your opinions because others get bothered by them being "offensive")

👩🏻‍🦲 cancers are true ambiverts and i've truly never ever seen a cancer who wouldn't be both introverted and extroverted at times. they are always either social introverts or quiet extroverts lol. or both!! (somehow 0_0) they enjoy people's attention, whether it's wanting to be noticed or appreciated or generally cared for, and they need their alone time. they tend to be very productive at those times, too.

👩🏻‍🦲 ok i have a lot of notes for cancers so it's gonna be a lot lmao sorry anyways!! i've also noticed they LOVEEE breaking loose every once in a while, if not every time they're given the opportunity! thing is, it's usually only if someone else is there to convince them or do it with them. they don't like taking risks alone! they are very impressed and fond of the 'wild child' persona people because they bring out the cancer's wild side!

👩🏻‍🦲 libra moons are absolutely loved by people, it's so crazy! like, no matter what they do they always have attention on them. this can manifest badly if the moon person is actually pretty horrible, things they do tend to be overlooked and others move on pretty quickly from their mistakes, letting them do whatever they want. i wanted to give an example but uh,,,,, i shall.. refrain😳

👩🏻‍🦲 libra suns with water moons are so scary when they're angry..

👩🏻‍🦲 cancer moon is what i deem as the zodiac sign cute-ifyer lol. literally any "tough" sign like capricorn, scorpio or aquarius becomes a super cute goofball with this moon. WEIRDEST THING EVER THOUGH is that it doesn't work for cancer suns?! like if a cancer sun has a cancer moon this just makes the person very confusing but very funny. they can brighten anybody's day without trying!

👩🏻‍🦲 okay uh this isn't an astro note as much as it is me being a phucken simp but uh..... I HAVE AN UNDYING LOVE FOR ARIES SUNS I WILL MARRY EVERY EACHAND ONE OF YOU ISTG. ARIES SUNS ARE THE NICEST AND FUNNIEST PEOPEL I'VE EVER SEEN YOU HAVE THE BEST HUMOR EVER AND YOU'RE SO KIND TO EVERYBODY YOU'RE SO KIND I LOVE YOU YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS PLANET I WANT TO HUG YOU FOREVER okay jbshxhjn but fr aries are the best people ever?!?!?!?!?!?! pls

👩🏻‍🦲 okay JUST SO THIS WHOLE ARIES MENTION ISN'T JUST A POINTLESS LOVE CONFESSION - i've noticed a lot of ♥aries♥ people use the laughing crying face emojis (😂,🤣) unironically and it's honestly.....the best thing ever

👩🏻‍🦲 taurus suns do this sometimes as well

👩🏻‍🦲 THE MOST UNHEALTHY PERCEPTIONS OF ZODIAC SIGNS ARE PUT ON FIRE SIGNS, NOT THE WATER SIGNS AND THIS IS COMING FROM A PISCES!!!!!!1 every stereotype is always showing fire signs as those sunshine of the group people, the baddies, and the ones with the biggest 'idgaf' attitude. and while this can totally be true sometimes, most of the time it's super different! sad fire signs break my heart pls i just wanna hug you guys T-T they have it the hardest because unlike water signs who are already expected to be emotional, they often repress their emotions for the sake of others and because of the fear of betrayal or judgement, or just generally the idea of "it's better to have fake friends than to have zero friends". YOU GUYS PLEASE. cut these people off from your life you deserve soo much better i know it can be super hard to open up for you u just need a hug omg EVERYONE PLEASE CHECK UP ON YOUR FIRE SIGN FRIENDS ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR DAY N STUFF THEY WILL APPRECIATE YOU CARING FOR THEM! pls stay best and take care sweethearts ily!!!

👩🏻‍🦲 i've also noticed that some of the signs tend to show their sadness through anger - this is not just astrology though so if your friend has been jumpy lately please just check on them they are probably going thru sth😳 anyways the signs i mostly saw this in are pisces, aries and libra.

👩🏻‍🦲 cancers with feminine moons (earth and water) tend to be pretty introspective. they often think they're the ones being mistreated, and while this of course might be true, in reality it usually goes a lonnng way back lol. they often pay very little attention to others!! (masculine moon sign cancers (fire and air) can often be too focused on others more than themselves) this can be good because they don't snoop in other people's business but oh my god, guys, please pay attention to your friends, too! this WILL lead to lost friendships because, let's be real, nobody wants a one-sided friendship with someone who only cares about themselves! i don't want to target anybody here but this is just a pattern i've noticed wayyyy too often, so you might want to look into it and if you think this is you all you need is just to enlargen your perspective and it will all be okay. but please, PLEASE. think about your friends

👩🏻‍🦲 i needed to get this^ out because people often put this on leo placements but tbh i notice that leo placements are THE MOST generous of the entire zodiac and they always think of others first and that's what really makes them so popular. they very rarely are as egocentric as everybody says, they're just really loving and that makes them very lovable!

👩🏻‍🦲 scorpio risings are the prettiest people i've ever seen. not even kidding bruh i could stare at them for EVER their eyes are absolutely gorgeous and their mannerisms are just perfect pls marry me

👩🏻‍🦲 gemini and taurus placements make an individual soooo chill to the point where it often makes them lazy and a biig procrastinator lol. tho i love how they make light of it by using their amazing humor!

👩🏻‍🦲 you most definitely have your IC be one of your family members' sun sign or one of their personal planets. i have a taurus ic and my sister is a taurus sun!

👩🏻‍🦲 sagittarius suns are the best huggers cause THEY REALLY NEED A HUG SO GO HUG THEM RIGHT NOW. pls guys why r u so sad..

👩🏻‍🦲 scorpio mars aren't even as sexual as everybody says tbh. but they definitely do have some interesting.....interests ;)

👩🏻‍🦲 pluto aspects to personal planets are very prominent, but very hidden. if you have them, most likely you will be the only person to know about this side of you and it can be pretty dark..

👩🏻‍🦲 planets conjunct your sun will be the people you attract most in your life (venus conjunct sun - taurus and libra, jupiter - sagittarius and pisces, mars - aries and scorpio EVERYWHERE)

👩🏻‍🦲 your moon sign will be the sun sign of most of your friends

👩🏻‍🦲 if you don't quite relate to your ascendant, look at the sign you have in your 3rd house and at your mercury sign. this is how you communicate, convey your ideas etc. and will often be a major factor in people's first impressions of you :)

👩🏻‍🦲 lilith aspecting your sun may mean there's a side of you nobody knows.. 👁👁 you're also probably very convincing and people can be very drawn to you and they can't explain why. this also goes for lilith in 7th, especially in girls!

👩🏻‍🦲 you and your friends probably have each other's sun signs as your personal planets!!

👩🏻‍🦲 the kindest person you know is probably either a virgo or an aries.. and the meanest person you know is also probably a virgo or aries LOL

👩🏻‍🦲 capricorn suns & risings are THE hardest to read!! if they don't say what they mean people will just assume and they're never going to be right it's wild 👩🏻‍🦲 also capricorns definitely have the most dad energy, while sagittariuses are more like actual dads jdbshxcvb

OKAY THAT'S ALL!!!! im sure i have more but its 2 am i have school tomorrow or actually its today now so bye uh anyways there will most likely be more so if u liked these stay tuned!! oh and let me know if they were true witchu :o thats it love u stay awesome and super cool i love u byebye!!

[veronicaphoenix]

zutto — chapter thirteen | wc: 6k | series masterpost | prev. chapter

Chapter summary: Noah and Lia spend the day in Tokyo and visit a certain exhibition that leads to steamy things once they're back in their room.

Reading time: 25mins. aprox.

Tags and trigger warnings:  talks/depictions of rope play and mentions of war and torture (related to historical events), wet dreams, explicit sexual content including teasing, dirty talk, Lia wearing a choker, Lia on her knees, oral sex (Noah receiving), p in v (protected and unprotected), praise kink, “good girl”, Noah restraining Lia’s wrists, slight dom/sub dynamics if you squint, fluff. Let me know if I missed sth. 

Say thank you @bluestdai because the wet dream scene was inspired by her fanart of Lia and Noah. 💞

I wanted to post this before I leave on a roadtrip, so I didn't have much time to really revise it. Sorry for any typos or mistakes you might find.

General trigger warnings: this work addresses and depicts issues related to addiction, abuse, & violence, contains explicit sexual content, and explores themes of childhood trauma. Reader discretion is advised. +18

“Will you stop looking at me like that?” Lia demanded, her cheeks tinged with a rosy hue as she struggled to speak around a mouthful of her fourth tamagoyaki of that morning. Her hand hovered in front of her mouth.

Noah’s grin widened.  “No.”

A crease formed between Lia’s brows as she swallowed. She licked her lips before retorting, “It’s making me uncomfortable.”

“Is it?” Noah asked, his tone playful as he arched an eyebrow. “I love watching you eat. You look adorable. I can’t help it.”

Her face grew even warmer. 

“It makes me self-conscious,” she mumbled, glancing at the empty plate in front of her. “That was my fourth tamagoyaki...” 

Noah, who had finished his breakfast minutes earlier, continued to watch her, his elbows resting on the countertop of the kitchen isle. Grandma, ever busy, had flitted off to another part of the house barely five minutes ago. 

“Want another one?” Noah asked.

Lia’s eyes widened in alarm. Before she could reply, he raised both hands in a gesture of surrender. 

“I’m not teasing! I’m serious! I love the way you enjoy food. That’s all.”

Lia hesitated, her eyes darting to the tray where the remaining tamagoyakis were arranged in two perfect rows. Temptation gnawed at her, but her stomach was already satisfyingly full.

“I’m good,” she said, brushing her fingers on a napkin. She made a mental note to ask Grandma for the recipe before returning to the States. No Japanese restaurant back home could replicate the unique taste of Grandma’s cooking, and she was sure neither could she—nor Noah, for that matter. But she was willing to try. 

Just then, Hana bustled back into the kitchen, her white hair neatly gathered into a bun. She carried a pile of freshly washed kitchen rags that she quickly stored in a drawer. 

“Why don’t you take the rest with you?” she suggested, gestuing toward the food tray and already pulling a plastic container from the cupboard. “You’re spending the day out, right?” she asked, glancing between them.

“Yep,” Noah confirmed.

“Better to have something on hand,” Grandma insisted. “Just in case.”

“We’re planning to eat out,” Lia pointed out, standing from the stool.

“For later,” Grandma said with a knowing smile. Without waiting for further protests, she began packing the tamagoyaki along with a couple of small juice bottles.

Lia shrugged, catching Noah’s amused expression. Despite herself, she couldn’t hold back a grin.

As Grandma finished packing their food, Noah and Lia headed upstairs to change out of their pajamas. Today, they were planning to explore Tokyo on their own after spending most of their stay so far indulging in Grandma’s company and taking her to places. 

They made the bed together and Lia opened the balcony doors to let some fresh air in. While Noah was checking his hair in the bathroom, Lia stepped out and leaned against the railing of the bedroom balcony, dressed in black leggings, a white shirt, and a soft denim jacket that would later pair with her boots. She took a few deep breaths and admired the beauty of the scenery before her before plucking her phone out of a pocket and moving her fingers deftly over the display, the cold morning air tinging her nose pink as her eyes scanned the information. 

“Lia, you ready?” Noah’s voice called from behind.

“Yeah.” Lia turned to face him, hesitating for a moment before adding, “Noah?”

“Hm?”

“I found this exhibition...” She waved her phone slightly, her expression both eager and uncertain. “I thought we could go.”

“What kind of exhibition?” Noah asked, crossing the room to get a closer look at her phone screen.

“It’s a... Shibari exhibition,” Lia explained with a casual tone. But her gaze was watchful, eyeing Noah and unsure of what his reply would be. 

Noah’s eyebrows lifted.

Before he could say anything, she quickly added, “I’d like to see it.”

For a moment, Noah simply studied her. Then, with a shrug and an easy smile, he spread his arms. “If you want to go, I’m in. Where is it?”

“Not far from Tokyo’s center,” Lia added, relief evident in her voice.

“Then let’s do it,” Noah said. He extended his hand toward her. “Shall we?”

No matter how full they still felt after the hearty breakfast at Grandma’s, the bustling energy of Tokyo’s center and the amount of cafés was enough to draw them in for another warm drink—and Lia’s fifth tamagoyaki of the day—. After stepping out of the cab and strolling through narrow streets lined with shops and neon signs, they stopped at a cozy café. They talked idly as the indulged in steaming sencha tea and they watched the city’s rhythm outside the window. Lia connected her phone to the café’s free Wi-Fi and googled their way to the exhibition venue. The map showed it was only a fifteen-minute walk, so they set off and managed to make it there without stopping in too many stores. 

The venue was tucked away on a quieter street north of the city center, its sleek modern exterior standing out against the older buildings nearby. The gallery’s enormous windows offered glimpses of the artwork inside, making Lia and Noah pause by the first window, leaning close to peer in.

The gallery was expansive. The walls they could see were adorned by vintage, A4-sized photographs. Beneath each image, a foam block appeared to hold neat inscriptions in Japanese and English, perhaps with details about the photos. Deeper inside the venue, Noah and Lia caught flashes of different lights, red ropes and abstract installations.

Lia turned to Noah, biting her lip briefly but eyes sparking. She grabbed his hand and tugged.

“Let’s go.”

Noah smirked, charmed by her enthusiasm, and let her take the lead.

At the entrance, they were surprised to learn there was no fee. The receptionist, a woman in her forties with kind eyes and a nice smile, welcomed them. She handed each of them a brochure and explained the exhibition’s layout: the first section showcased historical photographs from the Edo period. The following ones contained suspended rope installations, live demonstrations, and at the end they would find a workshop space for learning basic knotting techniques, and even a literary and philosophical corner for quiet reflection. Souvenirs, books, and rope could be purchased at the store located at the very end of the exhibition. 

“Feel free to explore at your own pace,” the woman added. “There’s a live demonstration that will start in about thirty minutes, near the back.”

Lia clutched her brochure, her eyes already scanning the gallery, while Noah gave the receptionist a polite nod before following Lia inside.

Initially, the vastness of the gallery and the weight of the artwork’s themes made Lia hesitate. She lingered near the first exhibit, a collection of photographs depicting the use of rope in Edo-period hojojutsu, a martial art once used for restraining prisoners. The photographs were stark and evocative, showing the artistry that elevated the utilitarian knots into something symbolic.

Lia felt Noah stiffen slightly beside her, adjusting his black cap, his posture reserved. She glanced up to see his brows furrowed in concentration, perhaps grappling with the unfamiliar context and maybe wondering the repercussions of someone spotting him there. Wanting to reassure him, she reached for his hand, intertwining her fingers with his.

Their eyes roamed over the photographs, analyzing the intricate interplay of shadow and light that emphasized the delicacy of the knots. One picture captured a prisoner kneeling with a calm expression, their arms bound behind them in an arrangement so precise it resembled a lattice of branches. Another photograph showed a ceremonial display of knots, the prisoner’s posture one of poised dignity despite their restrained state. Each knot seemed to convey a story of its own, involving control, power, but also elegance and care. It was strange and yet, fascinating.

“Look at this one,” Lia murmured, pointing to an image of a woman dressed in a kimono, her hands tied with a flourish that mirrored the folds of her garment. “It’s beautiful.”

Noah nodded, his brow still furrowed. “It is,” he admitted, his voice low, almost reluctant. “But looks complicated.”

They moved into the next section, where the gallery shifted from history to abstract art. Ropes hung suspended from the ceiling, looping and twisting in gravity-defying arcs. Some installations were simple, resembling waves or vines, while others were chaotic tangles that seemed to pulse with energy.

Lia stopped in front of one particularly piece—a massive web of crimson rope that seemed to expand and contract with the airflow in the room. At its center was a suspended a gold ornament, bound so intricately that it seemed to hover like a captured treasure.

“How the hell did they do this,” Noah muttered to himself, his curiosity breaking through his earlier reserve. He stepped closer, crouching slightly to observe the knots securing the installation to the floor and ceiling. “It’s flawless. If you pull at one knot, the whole thing would collapse.”

“Kind of like trust,” Lia said thoughtfully.

He glanced up at her, caught off guard by her comment.

“Yeah,” he said after a pause. “Like trust.”

They lingered for a few moments before following the signs toward the live demonstration. The corridor opened into a large space with seating arranged in a semicircle around a low platform. A few people were already gathered, chatting quietly or flipping through their brochures.

On the platform, a man and a woman prepared for the demonstration. The woman was standing in the center, barefoot and wearing a beige tight bodysuit. The man was dressed in simple black clothes. He was arranging coils of rope on a low table beside him.

Noah and Lia found a spot where to stand on the side, close enough to see the details but not so close as to feel conspicuous. Lia noticed Noah’s posture relax slightly as he leaned forward, his cap shielding his face from view momentarily as his arm rubbed at Lia’s shoulder.

Moments later, the room quieted and the demonstrator stepped forward, bowing slightly before addressing the audience. 

“Thank you for joining us today. What you are about to see is a traditional art form that blends discipline and creativity. It requires trust, communication, and respect between the participants.”

A mix of curiosity and reverence settled over the room.

As the demonstration began, the audience watched. The demonstrator moved with a calm, rhythmic precision, guiding the rope around his partner’s arms and torso in fluid motions. Each knot was a statement, each loop a deliberate choice.

The demonstrator began with a length of smooth, red rope, holding it as though it were a living thing. He stepped behind his partner and guided her hands together at the small of her back. With a single motion, he looped the rope around her wrists, his fingers dancing as he secured the first knot. 

The room had grown so quiet that the soft rustle of the rope against the woman’s skin was audible, every sound amplified in the stillness. The demonstrator wrapped the rope twice more, forming clean, parallel lines that looked as though they had been measured with a ruler. He paused briefly to check her posture, a silent exchange passing between them before he resumed his work, the ends of the rope weaving into a decorative knot that held the arrangement in place.

Lia felt her breath catch as she watched. The movements were hypnotic. She could feel Noah’s steady breathing behind her, as well as the way his chest rose and fell a little more deeply than before. 

As the man finished securing the final knot, the woman flexed her fingers, the subtle movement testing the hold. The demonstrator stepped back, bowing slightly to acknowledge the completion of the first step. The woman returned the bow, her restrained hands adding an unexpected grace to the gesture.

The audience remained silent. The room felt charged, as though everyone was holding their breath in unison.

Lia shifted slightly, and that was when she noticed how close Noah had leaned in. She could feel the faint warmth of his breath near her ear, each exhale brushing softly against her skin. His heartbeat was steady but insistent, a subtle rhythm she could sense through the proximity of his body.

For a moment, the gallery and the audience faded away. All she could focus on was the quiet intensity of the scene before them, mirrored by Noah’s quiet intensity beside her. The blend of concentration and restraint in his posture made her wonder what he was thinking—if he was thinking the same things she was. 

Lia felt her own pulse quicken, her fingers tightening on the edges of her brochure. She didn’t say a word, afraid that even the softest whisper might shatter the spellbinding stillness of the room. Instead, she turned her attention back to the platform, where the demonstrator was already preparing for the next sequence. But the sensation of Noah’s presence intensified.

“Do you find that interesting?” he murmured, his voice low and velvety so that only she would catch his words.

Lia, so absorbed in the intricate process before her, missed the subtle suggestion in his tone. She nodded earnestly, her eyes never leaving the scene. Behind her, Noah smiled, a sly curl of amusement tugging at his lips.

The rigger moved smoothly, his hands working with practiced ease to loop the red rope over the woman’s shoulders and around her chest, framing her torso in a symmetrical pattern. The interplay of rope against skin, the way it both restricted and enhanced her form, was mesmerizing to watch.

Noah, however, had shifted his focus to Lia.

His fingers slid down her arm, brushing her wrist lightly before curling around it. With deliberate slowness, he brought her hand behind her back. Lia hardly noticed, her attention still on the stage, until she felt him take her other wrist and guide it to meet the first.

Her breath caught in her throat.

The brochure dropped to the floor silently. 

Noah’s chest pressed closer, his body shielding hers from the view of the other spectators. His hand, large and strong, held both of her wrists in a resistant grip. The grip wasn’t painful—just firm enough to keep her still, to make her heart skip a beat.

She tried to look back at him, but her cheek met his.

“Imagine we’re in the bedroom,” he whispered, his voice dipping into a husky timbre that sent heat pooling low in her belly. “And your hands are tied at your back. Like this.”

To emphasize his point, he tightened his grip just enough to make her gasp softly. The edge of sweet discomfort prickled through her awareness, and she was acutely conscious of how exposed they were.

“Can you picture it?” he asked.

“Yes,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Noah’s grin deepened, his teeth grazing the shell of her ear. 

“Good. Would you be willing to do anything I say? While you’re tied up? Like her?”

“Yes.” Her answer was quick and breathless, her heart hammering in her chest as his words wove a spell around her.

His lips brushed the corner of her jaw, his breath hot against her skin. 

“Can I be honest? I can picture it, too” his tone was so seductive that Lia had to press her thighs together. “I’ve pictured it so many times already. I’d make you get on your knees...” With his thumb he traced circles on the inside of her wrist. “And after that, I’d do whatever I want to you, with the only intention of pleasuring you. How does that sound?”

Lia’s pulse quickened, her lips parting.

Before she could speak, the rigger on stage gave a gentle tug to the ropes, shifting the model’s position. The sudden movement pulled Lia’s attention back to the demonstration, her cheeks flushed with both excitement and awareness of the people around her—and at the hard thing pressing against her back. 

Back to her senses, she muttered, “you’re getting a boner, Noah.”

She was not facing him, but she could tell he had looked down at his own pants. 

“Yes, I am. Shit.” He released her fast and adjusted his trousers, taking a single step away from her and looking around coyly.

Lia looked at him over her shoulder and nearly snorted. Noah send her a playful glare. 

“Don’t worry,” he told her. “We’ll have time to finish this.”

As he stepped back slightly, giving her space, Lia felt the loss of his warmth but couldn’t quite shake the lingering heat of his words. She tried to get her attention back to the stage, trying to refocus, but her mind was already far away, spinning with possibilities Noah had just whispered into existence.

The demonstration ended and everyone clapped. A couple of minutes later, Noah and Lia walked hand in hand to the workshop section, where they tried to learn the basic of knots and ended up cracking up at clumsiness they both showed at it. Lia had stayed frozen for a full ten minutes trying to understand where the teacher had instructed to pull the rope through, and Noah had at least tried, only to get his own hands tangled in the mess of rope. Lia teased him about not having learnt anything from the book he had at home. He was quick to retaliate, stepping closer to nibble playfully at her ear, whispering that he hadn’t had anyone to practice with before. 

“Now I have you,” he said, “and I plan on getting really good at it.”

At the souvenir shop afterward, they made a donation to support the various artists who had contributed to the exhibition. Lia bought a history book, paying for it along with a set of black-and-red cotton ropes that Noah dropped onto the counter. 

“They might not let us take a katana home, but I’m sure there’s no problem with a few ropes,” he stated.

The day in Tokyo was eventful. They walked a lot, saw a lot, laughed a lot and shared plenty of kisses in hidden corners of the big city. They returned home with their hands full of bags and their feet aching, though the discomfort was soon forgotten when they sat down in Hana’s tea room. They enjoyed a quiet conversation with Grandma, recounting the things they’d done and seen—leaving out a few details, of course—as they sipped lukewarm tea before heading to bed.  

Upstairs, with most of the lights in the house off and their shopping bags piled on the desk, Noah changed into his sleep shirt and sweats and waited for Lia to finish brushing her teeth in the bathroom. 

He was about to flop on the bed when she called out to him. 

“Noah, could you grab my sleeping shirt?” Lia’s voice came from the bathroom.

“You mean my shirt,” he replied with a hint of amusement, moving to her suitcase and rummaging around to retrieve it.

“It’s been mine for years now. You lost your chance to reclaim it long ago—” Her words trailed off as she entered the bedroom, only to freeze in place. She stood there in her bra and panties, and Noah, instead of holding her shirt, had something else entirely in his hands: the pair of kitty ears and the choker she’d impulsively bought in Osaka. 

One in each hand, he lifted them slowly, inspecting them with raised brows.

“What... is this?” he asked, looking up at her, intrigued.

Lia’s shoulders slumped, her cheeks flushing. 

“You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“Oh? And why not? What exactly are you planning to do with it?” He cocked an eyebrow, studying her reaction with growing interest.

She stepped forward, reaching to snatch them from his hands, but he quickly tucked them behind his back, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “Did you buy these for me?”

She huffed, barely hiding a reluctant smile. “Can you just forget you ever saw them and put them back, please?”

“No chance.”

“Noah!” she exclaimed, her tone halfway between a scold and a plea.

“I think I need to see you wearing these,” he murmured, lifting the kitty ears in one hand, his eyes then drifting to the choker in the other, as though savoring the thought.

Lia gave him a pointed look, her lips pressed together to hide her amusement. “You will. One day. But not here. Now, please—put it back?”

“Put it on.”

“Noah…”

He paused, then added with a gentler tone, “Alright. Then, let me put it on you.” His voice softened, but his eyes held a playful gleam that made it impossible to deny him.

She took a slow breath, biting her lower lip as she debated. Part of her wanted to let him have his way, but they were at Grandma’s house, of all places. However, she couldn’t deny how his expression—the mix of pleading and challenge—made her pulse quicken.

“You’re trouble,” she finally said, her tone half-resigned, half-amused.

Noah smirked, tempted to raise his fist.

“Turn around,” he commanded, his voice dipping into a more serious tone that sent a shiver down her spine.

Obediently, Lia turned. She started to lift her hair, but he was quicker, his fingers brushing along her nape in a deliberate, lingering caress. Her breath hitched as he fastened the choker, slipping it around her neck. His arms grazed her shoulders as he clasped it, and he gently tugged her hair free to let it cascade down her back.

When she turned to face him, her heartbeat thudding, she saw him struggling to maintain his composure. He handed her the kitty ears with a quiet intensity in his eyes. She took them, placing them on her head, pushing her long hair back with a shy smile.

As she stood there, arms falling to her sides, he took a step back to take her in fully. His gaze fell on the choker, and she saw the way his playful smirk vanished, replaced by something deeper, something raw.

“Fuck.” 

There was a beat of silence. Lia blinked as she read his expression, then her eyes dropped to the bulge that had appeared down his front, and she felt a surge of power curse through her. 

Yes, she thought. Fuck it.

Her hands went to the laces of his joggers, and the sudden motion snapped Noah out of his trance. 

He caught her wrists. “No.” 

She froze. She waited, her breath catching. Then he continued, his tone dropping lower, dripping with command. 

“Get on your knees.”

Her stomach flipped. Oh, God.

Slowly, she sank to her knees, the soft carpet on the wooder floor brushing her legs as she looked up at him with brown doe eyes. Maybe it was a risk, but she took her hands back to his laces, and this time, he didn’t stop her. He let her undo them and pull his sweats down as he peeled his t-shirt off quickly, discarding it onto the floor. Lia pushed his underwear down, his cock springing free, thick and hard. 

“You’re gonna suck me, right?” he asked with strain. “I need you to s—”

Lia cut him off by wrapping her fingers around the base of his length and lifting it slightly to drag her tongue along the underside. She started at the base, tracing the thick vein that pulsed beneath her touch, all the way to the head. 

“Lia… Fuck.” 

She took her time, savoring the weight of him in her hand, her tongue exploring every inch. When she finally began to bob her head, his sharp inhale was all the encouragement she needed. Everything that came out from his mouth after were moans and praise.

“That’s it. God,” he murmured, “the mouth you have…”

The pride that filled her was electric, and it must have shown in her eyes because Noah’s lips quirked into a grin even as he struggled to maintain his composure. 

“You like that, Lia? You like sucking my cock?”

She couldn’t say yes—not with her mouth full—, so she doubled her efforts, hollowing her cheeks and taking him deeper. His features contorted as though caught between pleasure and pain, and she felt his fingers move to her head, his hands tangling in her hair as he helped guide her movements. 

“Keep going, baby.” His words were choked, punctuated by grunts. “Just like that. Yes.”

He looked down at her again, thinking he must have done something extraordinary in his life to deserve this—to have such a beautiful girl on her knees with her mouth full of him. On top of that, her desire and enjoyment were palpable in every moment. Knowing he was making her happy by having her at his mercy ignited a possessive thrill that rushed through him.  

His hands caressed her scalp, guiding her motions. Lia closed her eyes, her tongue working with deliberate twists and touches. She tried to take him deeper, twisting her tongue to draw more sounds from him, her confidence soaring with each groan that escaped his lips.  

Then, with that voice of his, that low, deep tone that never failed to leave her weak, his hands tightened in her hair as she murmured, “You’re such a good girl.” The praise was so raw it almost undid her. Heat flooded her body as she thought she might come just from his words alone. “You look so pretty on your knees, baby.” 

One hand slid from her hair to her chin, his touch gentle despite the fire in his eyes. He tilted her face upward, and as her lips released him, his cock slipped out of her mouth, a string of saliva connecting them. Her tongue darted out to lick it away before she bit her lip, wanting more. 

“You’re driving me crazy,” he admitted, his voice rough as his dark gaze trailed to her neck and the baby pink collar still snug there. “I’m never letting you take that choker off.”

Lia thought he would let her finish him, that she’s have him falling apart in her hands—and mouths—but Noah had other plans. Taking himself in his hand, he helped her rise to her feet. His hands cupped her cheeks, pulling her into a kiss that stole her breath. He didn’t give a fuck about tasting himself on her lips. 

The kiss was all-consuming, leaving her dizzy as he walked her backward toward the low bed. 

Once her knees hit the mattress, he guided her down, his hands slipping to the waistband of her panties. 

“Take off your bra.”

She obeyed without hesitation—she was Noah’s good girl—, unhooking the clasp and discarding the thin bra next to her. Noah tugged her panties down, tossing them aside before covering her body with his.  He trailed a path of kisses from her lower belly to her chest, kissing and licking her nipples and then sucking at her neck at the same time his cock made its way inside of her, making her gasp and grab onto his shoulders.  

With the friction of the bodies moving, the movements sent the kitty headband on her head slipping back. With a quick hand, Noah removed it, letting it rest on the pillow next to Lia’s head. 

“The choker stays,” his voice declared against her ear. His voice was low, possessive, and his words were followed by another murmuring that sounded very much like a “you’re mine”. He buried his face in her neck and thrust into her again and again. 

“Open your legs wider, Lia,” he urged. “That’s it. Good girl.”

She moaned in response. 

“Say my name.” Noah instructed. It was a command, a desperate one. There was something raw in the way he said it—a need he couldn’t suppress. He needed to hear his name on her lips. Over and over and over. 

“Noah, please.”

“Yes, Lia,” he groaned, his pace quickening. “Say it again. I’ll give you anything you want. Anything you need.”

“More, Noah. Please.”

He would give her more. He would give her everything. 

“Lia.” His voice was a mantra as his lips found hers again. 

“Noah,” she moaned, her eyes fluttering shut as her body surrendered.  

“Lia,” he repeated.

“Yes,” she breathed. She was barely present, her words more a reflex than conscious thought. 

“Lia, open your eyes,” he said, his voice softer now. 

Her eyes fluttered open, and the world shifted. 

Darkness enveloped the room, and her breath caught in her throat. Noah wasn’t on top of her anymore. He wasn’t naked—and neither was she.

He was lying on his side of the bed, propped on one elbow, his expression etched with concern as he patted her cheek. 

“Lia,” he said softly. “Are you okay?”

Oh, Jesus…

“Were you having a nightmare?” He asked. 

Lia’s hands shot to her neck, only to find there was no choker clasped around it. Her movement didn’t escape Noah’s notice, and his gaze narrowed suspiciously. 

“Was someone hurting you?”

“N—no, nothing like that,” she stammered, shaking her head. 

“That’s what I thought,” he added, his voice turning into something more of a tease, “because you were moaning my name.”

Lia froze. Uh, oh.

So… She had been having a wet dream.

And Noah knew. 

“Wanna tell me what you were dreaming about?”

Before she could respond, his hand slipped under the covers and under the waistband of her pajama pants and panties. His fingers grazed her, and he cursed in surprise as they came away with slick. 

“What the hell was I doing to you that got you this wet?” he asked, his voice rough now, desire flooding his tone. 

Lia could only close her eyes, her lips curling into a satisfied smile as his fingers began to circle her clit.

“You’re not going to tell me?” He pressed. 

She shook her head, biting her lip to suppress a moan. 

“Maybe I won’t let you come, then,” he threatened, his tone playful but edged with real intent. 

Her eyes flew open, shocked, and her hands moved instinctively to his wrist to keep his hand in place. 

“It’s a surprise,” she said, her voice breathy as his fingers circled her clit again. She moved her hand to his crotch, then, where she was met with his obvious erection, cock straining against the fabric of his sweats.

“A surprise?”

“Yes,” she confirmed. “I promise to tell you once we’re back home.” 

“And why can’t you tell me now?” His voice dropped, his curiosity turning almost predatory. 

“Because if I tell you, I don’t think you’ll be able to keep it together. And Grandma is a few doors down.”

That obviously only heightened his interest, his eyes darkening with frustration and amusement in equal measure. But he trusted her.  She was smart, and her reasoning—even if infuriating—was probably sound. He could still have her anyway, and he’d be content by just being inside of her and barely moving. 

“Fine,” he relented, but a low escaped him as he added. “You’re lucky I’m a patient man and you’re adorable when you’re having wet dreams.”

That only made Lia blush harder as she playfully pushed at him. 

His hands moved quickly from then, tugging at her waistband as she helped him out of his clothes. Pajamas and underwear were discarded with a shared urgency, their hands brushings and lips touching as they worked together. 

When the last clothing barrier was gone, Noah retrieved a condom from nearby and rolled it on with ease. He settled himself between her thighs and under the quilt. His weight against her was always comforting, grounding.

The way he looked at her, like she was his entire world, made her pulse race. 

“I’ll take this,” he murmured, “but you’re telling me everything as soon as we’re back in the States.”

And with that, he surged forward, capturing her lips in a kiss that silenced any response she might have given, the night stretching out before them in whispered sighs and muffled moans.

At the first stretch, Lia gasped. The first thrust never failed to make her brace herself against Noah’s shoulders, her fingers clutching for stability as she adjusted to the feeling of fullness. She had learned in their short time together as a couple that Noah always watched her intently in this moment. His expression conveyed so many emotions. His jaw was tight. There was a small wrinkle between his brows, and a dark unrelenting hunger in his eyes that contrasted with the careful gentleness of his love for her. 

As he began to move, her body relaxed. It was a dance, a symphony of shared breaths and whispered sighs, their connection running deeper than just physical pleasure. 

One of Noah’s hands slid to cradle the side of her head, his thumb brushing her forehead tenderly. With the other, he gripped her wrist and pinned her arm above her head. Lia let out a soft exhale and moved her free hand to rest beside the one he held captive, silently asking him to hold her completely.

Understanding, a cheeky smile curved Noah’s mouth. He pressed closer to her, meeting her yearning expression with one of his own before he dived to kiss her, teeth and tongue and all. 

It was slow, but it spoke louder than words. The eye contact making both weak in each other’s arms. Not even five minutes into it, Lia wriggled her wrist and Noah released her hands. Her finger found Noah’s face, and she dragged a finger along his lips, wet from her kisses. He caught it between his teeth with a teasing bite before letting it go, his features contorting with rising pleasure. 

“I’m not far,” he whispered, his voice tight. 

“Me neither,” she managed. “Can you…?”

“Yeah.”

He knew exactly what she needed. 

His fingers found her clit, rubbing as he increased his pace. He was tempted to cover Lia’s mouth with his other hand, but instead, he let it be, allowing the tension between them to coil tighter and tighter, their breathing growing ragged.

When Lia’s orgasm took hold of her, Noah thrust one last time, making her back arch even more. A loud sob escaped her lips, and that’s when Noah did cover her mouth, muffling the sound as his face buried itself in the curve of her neck. His body trembled with his release, spasms overtaking him as he spilled into the condom. 

Lia’s body shuddered beneath him, her legs locking around his waist as she bucked against him, riding out the last ripples of her pleasure. 

In the stillness that followed, Noah’s weight pressed her into the mattress, and she kept hugging him tightly, not ever letting go. For a long while, neither of them spoke. 

Noah’s mind wandered, and in the quiet of the night, with Lia’s heart beating against his own, he reflected on their past and every step, every scratch and heartbreak that had led them inevitably to this moment. 

Feeling more settled and thankful than ever, he whispered against her skin, “All my life, I was waiting for you without knowing it.”

Lia blinked, adjusting to the darkness in the room to find his eyes. Her fingers traced his face, her touch reverent as she admired the man he had become. “All those years,” she replied softly, “you deserved a better version of me.”

“It doesn’t matter what version I deserved,” he replied, his voice filled with conviction as he touched her pink cheek with the bend of his index finger. “I had you. I have you now, and I’ve loved every version of you.” 

Her eyes welled with emotion as she leaned up, brushing her lips against his as she promised, “You’re mine, Noah.”

— prev. chapter | chapter fourteen

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[momoshin]

ok hear me out, maybe? sub space yeji, i would love to give her the strap for her birthday, maybe after dancing it out at the club or sth w the girls, yall had a few drinks but only enough to help loosen up a little bit, and the way she was all up on u on the dancefloor makes u impatient to get home and just wreck her respectfully, but she definitely feels the same way (🎂)

this is exactly what i wanted to write !!

i feel like she'd have something simple like champagne if the girls or you bought a bottle for her birthday, she's not really about getting drunk, but she likes the taste of it. so she has a glass or two and quickly drags you across to the dance floor. the others have already dispersed around the place, way drunker than the two of you.

you can't think straight from the beginning because of the dress she's wearing. it's pink, sort of a satin material that brings out every curve of her body, not to mention the black, thin straps that accentuate her shoulders and collarbones. you can see her best when she's facing you and swaying her hips to the beat, and you hope your body is acting on it's own, that you're not standing there staring at her but your body moving to the beat too, unlike your brain that could only process her looking edible right then and there.

when she turns around however, grinding her ass against your crotch, you can't think of anything else but being home and having her under you letting out the prettiest moans and whines. not even two hours later you're left to assume she's on the same page, because as soon as the song that the two of you were almost dry humping to ends, she turns around and tries to say something in your ear that with the music at a first try is difficult to understand.

"what was it baby? i didn't quite hear" you try to get closer, hands on her hips to make sure she doesn't stumble and fall anywhere, and part of it to just be close to her.

"can we go home?" her voice is soft, mainly shy when asking you, but you were able to catch the desperation in her voice as she looked at you with her pretty eyes, waiting for an answer.

"are you sure? it's still early" you remind her, looking for the girls anyways.

"please" she's too shy to tell you exactly what she wants, but her hand in yours and the way she pleads at you with her eyes is more than enough for you to understand.

"okay, yeah" the last thing you do is peck her lips, looking for ryujin, tonight's designated driver before letting her know you'd be taking an uber home early, probably because she's the only sober one, but she catches up right away, sending the two of you a wink and assuring you she'd take care of the other two.

as soon as you get home, she doesn’t even allow you to turn on the lights. yeji drags you with her to your shared room, attaching your lips as soon as you step inside. she lets you press her against the door, your hands roaming up her thighs and lifting her dress with them. she whines just at how hard your lips moved against hers, her fingers wrapping around your sides and squeezing any parts of your body she could when you press your thigh against her center.

"so this is why you wanted to come home, huh?" your lips graze against her own as you speak, you're so close you can even breathe each other's air.

"please" her eyes are stuck on your lips, she wants to kiss you more, she wants you to do so many things to her right now, but you're taking your sweet time teasing her.

"please what, angel?"

"please fuck me." you don’t reply, but instead walk away from her eliciting a few whimpers at the loss of contact. she’s free to walk around the room, and even wait for you on the bed if she wants, she knows that, but she still waits for you to drag her along after you’re done. you’ve made sure to tie the strap nicely around your thighs and waist, leaving just your matching underwear on.

you know exactly what she wants, how she wants it, everything. and she smirks a little when you slowly take off her dress, kissing all over her neck and chest leaving a few marks in between, before laying her on her stomach at the end of the bed. yeji hums in  satisfaction when you press kisses behind her ear, and lower to her nape…. all the way down her back, before you reach her thong. she pushes her ass up and tries her best to look back at you when you drag it down her legs, pressing kisses to the back of her thighs too.

and quickly after you’re back up, one hand to her side to hold you up and the other spreading her wetness around while you kissed her, taking advantage of the way her head was tilted for better access.

“everything’s okay birthday girl?”

“yes.. just do it please” yeji pushes her hips back, moaning when the tip of the fake cock grazes against her entrance before you pull away

“i do it” she huffs after that, quickly giving up on doing anything herself and instead waiting for you. you didn’t make her wait long tho, smoothly pushing the head between her folds making her gasp loudly, fisting the sheets and looking back at you. “relax baby”

“fuck” she throws her head forward now, letting out pretty moans and whines at how you’re fucking her in the right places and you’ve just started, so don’t be surprised if it flatters your ego a bit. “harder. fuck me harder please”

“like this?” your hands grab on to her hips and you can both quickly hear the slapping of skin, and yeji immediately feels how much harder you’re thursting inside her, groaning pretty sounds for you.

“y-yes. just like that.”

“you’re so pretty like this baby… so needy.” you gather her hair into a ponytail, wrapping it around one of your hands before tugging it softly and eliciting a louder moan than the ones you’d caused before. “you like that?”

“do it again” she pleads, her words interrupted because every time your skin slaps against hers her voice cuts off and is replaced with a gasp. “you feel so good- so fucking good.”

but you just hum and tug at her hair one more time, also spanking her ass in the process. that itself probably elicits the loudest moan out of your girlfriend you’ve heard all night. she’s so worked up already, chasing only her (hopefully) first orgasm of the night as she backs up her ass to you in an attempt of speeding things up.

“im not gonna go anywhere baby, slow down” she relaxes at the kisses you press behind her ear after reassuring her

“i know” she huffs, pout on display in the most endearing way as she keeps getting interrupted by soft moans you provoke with each snap of your hips. “but i want to cum”

you chuckle at her stuttering, and then her whining when you pull out and detach yourself from her. she thinks its some sort of twisted joke and that you’re not letting her cum on her birthday. which would mean all that perfect behavior was for nothing, but her thoughts are easily interrupted when you turn her around, kissing her pout as you slowly push her legs up against her chest.

yeji hums slightly when you finally push back in, so easily because of how wet she was. her hands at her sides bunch the sheets as you slowly start snapping your hips against her. her moans increase the closer she gets, and in the end, all she needs is your thumb lazily rubbing her clit to push her over the edge.

unlike other times, she quiets down, lets her breath hitch and eyes roll back as the orgasm rakes through her. but as soon as she’s calm, your girlfriend immediately looks for you, hands palming the mattress for your skin and the moment she’s able to peck your lips a couple of times, the two of you can’t help but giggle, looking at the bright red clock on her wall and thinking of how many more times you can make her feel like that before ryujin comes home with the others..

[beomglocks]

i was gonna request a pt. 2 for mr. choi but i just saw another anon already asked that 😌 bUt maybe yn’s mom goes out of town on a business trip or sth, so she has yn stay at the choi’s house so she isn’t home alone for a whole week, and her and soobin have to sneak around his son or sth hsjdbnd

but this is just a suggestion and honestly anything with dilf!soobin would be great 😩✋

[8:23 pm] w dilf soob

warnings & other: some touching, does this count as exhibitionism, nvm, beomgyu is clueless, age gap, reader is legal, sexual tension?, there's a curse

you bit your lip as you stood outside the choi residence. the house you'd passed by many times to and from your way to school. you never knew what it looked like inside or who was in the house besides mr. choi but alas today was the day you would find out.

ever since soobin had visited your house for the first time, your mom had taken, what you can only describe as a liking, towards the man with the pink hair. to be fair, you don't blame her.

all of a sudden the stranger danger warnings and the "don't trust your neighbors because you never know what they're truly like" speeches flew out the window because here she was letting you stay over.

"your aunt called and she wanted me to go over there for a while. i know you don't want to come along with me and i won't force you but im also not leaving you alone so im letting you stay with someone i trust," she had said before she left.

thankfully that someone she trusted was mr. choi soobin across the street.

you knock on the door lightly. it's around 8pm which isn't too late but from what you can tell, a lot of the lights inside are off. you wonder if your mom had told soobin the plans in advance and if he was waiting for you.

the thought alone made you excited until the door swings open to reveal someone who isn't mr. choi.

"you must be y/n?" a boy who looks to be around your age asks. you nod slowly until it clicks that this must be mr. choi's son.

a part of you deflates at the fact that you won't be alone with soobin but obviously, his son would be at his house. "yep, that's me, my mom did tell you i was staying over for the week right?"

he nods in confirmation, letting you in. the house is cleaner and neater than you thought for there to be two males residing in it. the various plants and abstract art pieces around the walls give the place a more homey feel than you expected, very domestic.

"my name's beomgyu by the way," beomgyu smiles at you. he seems nice enough and a small part of you feels like you would be attracted to him if not for his father.

"is that y/n?" you bite your tongue in excitement as a small rush flows through your body at the sound of your name from mr. choi somewhere in the house.

"yeah!" beomgyu calls out to his dad. he leads you to the living room where mr. choi is sat watching a movie on the tv screen.

he seems to still be in his work clothes with the button down and the slacks still on him. his legs are spread open and his arms are lazily laid across the top of the couch. his hair is also messy as you can only imagine what the previous hours were like for him.

"hello mr. choi," you greet him. he looks you up and down subtly before saying hi back. "you can sit on the love seat if you want," beomgyu says as he walks past you into the living room.

you quickly walk in too, "actually is it ok if i sit on the couch?" you don't give him a reason as you can't conjure up one quick enough that would make any semblance of sense but thankfully he doesn't question it, and takes the love seat for himself.

once you settle in, you look at soobin who's already looking at you. "how was your day sir~?" you ask coyly. he smirks at the way you know how to address him. he places his hand on your exposed knee, "it's got better- now that you're here," he wants to say the last part out loud too but figures that since beomgyu is still in the room that would be inappropriate to voice.

beomgyu speaks up about how his father took the week off to work from home to watch over you both and soobin automatically detaches his hand away from you. you hold back a visible frown.

there's no way soobin agreed to have you stay over without expecting to get closer to you, well you were determined to make this week worthwhile.

"is it ok if i have a glass of water?" you ask beomgyu specifically. as expected he obliges to your command since you are a guest and his father wouldn't have gotten up regardless.

once you confirm beomgyu is out of ear and eyeshot you quickly go to straddle soobin's lap. you know it's risky but you love how he automatically holds your waist. "sir~" you purr. he leans down swiftly to catch your lips in a sweet kiss. you hum satisfied that you managed to get this out of him at least.

you grab onto his shirt to push yourself deeper into the kiss if even for a couple more seconds but he pulls away teasingly, letting you chase him. "i hope you know i didn't agree to this for no reason," he breaths.

you shift on his lap and look up at him through your lashes. "glad we're on the same page" is what you say with the movements of your body on his. you're about to lean back up to kiss him when the creaking of the floorboards saves you from your almost mistake. you practically throw yourself back to where you were previously and soobin shifts in his spot, wiping his lips from your tinted chapstick.

"water," beomgyu proudly holds out the glass to you. "thank you," you mumble, keeping your head down in slight embarrassment.

after that, the impromptu movie night for your arrival goes as you'd expect from you sitting next to soobin.

you could've cared less about whatever family movie was playing. it was hard for you to ignore soobin's subtle touches as he would slowly inch up your thigh every couple of minutes.

if beomgyu would even so much as stretch his arms, he would retract his hands as if you were a flame on the stove, afraid of being caught by his son.

as for you, you don't want to come off as suspicious but to be fair it was fairly easy for you to touch all up on soobin without beomgyu getting too suspicious, with the excuse of it just being innocent gestures.

somewhere between the middle of the movie, soobin leans down to your ear.

"by the way... i didn't mention this earlier but-" he kisses the skin right under your ear subtly. fuck. you try to convince yourself that beomgyu won't notice what's going on, simply thinking his father is whispering to you, not wanting to talk loudly over the movie.

"what were you thinking wearing this?" he says referring to your short skirt. you look down at the clothing choice and bite your lip, rubbing your thighs together. he places his hand on the couch close enough to your upper thigh that it doesn't look too suspicious, letting his fingers play with whatever part of the skirt he can reach.

you both watch his fingers lift your skirt playfully as if he could flash you if really tried but he simply teases you by lifting it a little and putting it back down and feeling the fabric. "last time i was this close to you you wearing those shorts." he hums thinking back at the first time he ever saw you. "did you think it would be easier for me to fuck you if you wore something i could easily slip my fingers into? tell me that you miss my fingers," he rambles. "i bet you must be feeling so disappointed."

at that, your eyes flit over to beomgyu who you catch staring at you for a brief moment. you can't tell what his expression means but you want to say he looks confused at the proximity between you and his father.

"is y/n ok?" he asks his dad. soobin fixes his posture to sit slightly further from you but still close enough to not draw suspicion. "yeah she didn't understand the plot so i just explained it." he says, cooly. thankfully for you, his son seems to buy it.

soobin looks over at you with a wink and smirk before placing his hands on your knee, rubbing your skin before leaving you alone for the rest of the night.

you can only look between him and his son thinking that this will be one hell of a week.

[stonedregulus]

hi! hope it comes across as my genuine curiosity and expression of admiration, but how do you live your life and are so active here on tumblr and then i also saw you on twitter, i think, and then your discord servers? i know you have kids and i see you online here all the time and you post ff all the time also. i struggle so much with time management, if i'm on tumblr then nothing else gets done that day, if i'm doing sth else than no one hears from me. i can't imagine balancing kids on top of that. do you keep a daily schedule or sth? thanks and have a good day!

so i know you meant this as a compliment or whatever but this just felt so… it’s just so steeped with parent shaming. and even if you didn’t mean that, i think it’s important to talk about this and our own preconceived notions about what constitutes good parenting.

first, would you ask a work from home parent these same questions? i doubt you would. it’s just because i’m a “stay at home parent” right? if i had what is considered to be a “normal” job while working from home no one would ask me this because you would all just assume i’m doing my job and my kids are entertained somehow during the day without me.

my kids are at the age where they’re fairly self sufficient. they play alone. they play with each other. if they want a snack they get it for themselves and then ask me to open/unwrap it. if they need a drink they bring me their cup and ask for a refill. the oldest one goes potty on his own and when the youngest one needs a diaper change he brings me a diaper. when they’re tired they take naps. they get 3 hours of tv time a day which sure is more than recommended but i don’t give a flying fuck.

i do not sit and stare at my kids all day long. no stay at home parent does, no matter how old they are. there are times we play together. there are times we color together. there are times we work on learning games. there are times we build legos. there are times they attack me with lightsabers and tackle me. we play outside. we play in the play room. we go to the library, gymnastics, the grocery store, play dates with friends. we go swimming, and visit family and eat meals together. we read—like we read SO MUCH.

and in between all of that i do what I consider to be my job, which is writing. i’m working on my original fiction along with my fanfic. i draw for fun but i also have a few commissions i’m doing for real life people. i also run an etsy shop.

i know it seems like i spend a lot of time on my phone. because you see me post or reblog or comment, but in reality when i look at my screen time on my phone i spend 2 total hours on tumblr, 1 total hour on tiktok, 1 total hour on twitter a day. it seems like i’m on here a lot because i scroll quickly, reblog a bunch of shit and then disappear for a couple of hours.

all of this to say no, i do not have a schedule. i have adhd and schedules and time management do not work for me. i work when i want to, i get on social media when i want to and insinuating that i don’t spend enough time with my children because i’m too busy socializing or spending time on my hobbies and interests is hurtful to parents.

and i’m sorry, like i know you probably didn’t mean it but this is like the second message i’ve gotten recently mentioning my parenting and i’m just a bit on edge about it.

[disaster-j]

Im honestly shocked by the not me gang dynamics. Like you’d probably assume since they want to change the world and serve whats write that would AT LEAST love each others as you know friends! But they don’t! They have what feels like a strict business relationship, like we’re just doing this together because we all kinda have the same goal. They dont give two shits about each other!

Whats even more confusing is the relationship between black and sean. Okay like we get it, black was basically a horrible person to everyone since literally all his friends and even his gf go on and on about what he did to them. But theres something extremely confusing about black and sean..

So bear with me.. blacks betrayal literally formed his relationship with sean. Sean cant trust black, doesnt believe he would do anything for him, or care about him. He found it absolutely insane that he did sth as small as give him water when they were gassed. Sean hates the fact that black had a very luxurious upbringing while hes gone through a kind of a rough childhood without a mother and with his dad being wrongly killed and growing up poor. So sean doesnt trust black, hates black for everything he is BUT WOULD THROW HIMSELF IN GLAZING FIRE TO SAVE HIS LIFE WHEN HE KNOWS SO GODDAMN WELL THAT BLACK WOULDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING THE SAME FOR HIM? And then he got kinda jealous when gram was bandaging blacks wound? Why?!!! You hate his gut?? Why care that much when you know that black doesnt care about you? And he caught on black being weird VERY quickly with just how he flinched when sean tried to punch him outside his room. Literally took him 1 second? And then for the entire episode he literally cover for blacks ass and even took the lead for the mission

Now, we all know that black and sean dont like each other. Then why the fuck did black choose to do their last mission on tawi? It was mentioned in the last episode that he got to choose their last mission and planned it all. Then why tawi? Was that for sean? Why is he specifically targeting tawi? To go as far to plan to set his home on fire?

White aside, sean and blacks relationship is very confusing, i just dont get their dynamic!! Were they friends? Did sean kinda like black? What’s going

Anon this ask had me so confused I had to gather opinions on these topics bc I wasn't seeing what you're seeing; and the conclusion I've reached is that you're misreading the situation.

See, White is an unreliable narrator with really bad/biased info. The way he interprets the gang is not how they actually are. Additionally, Black has strained relationships with Sean and Yok so ofc their interactions are tainted by that mutual animosity. None of that means they don't care about each other bc they very much do. You don't get into this type of vigilantism unless you really care about people.

The group don't have a very traditional friendship, I agree, they're in separate departments and have very different schedules and individual responsibilities outside of the gang, so it's only natural we don't really see them hang out outside of the garage. But if you look at their interactions outside of the ones with "Black" you'll see that despite their agressive fronts they're all quite playful with each other. There's also the fact that both Sean and Black have a very cold and aloof front that they put up most of the time, which makes them seem a lot more uncaring. Also, Black is just selfish most of the time, he puts his own survival over others for the most part so ofc people around him aren't going to be all that nice to him.

As for Sean and Black's relationship, it probably seems so confusing bc you're trying to oversimplify a very complex and layered dynamic. I've talked about their dynamic a lot on here but let me go over it again so I can help you understand a bit better. Sean and Black present really interesting parallels within the narrative because they come from drastically different backgrounds but have ended up growing into two very similar people. They're both driven by righteous rage against the elite ruling class and have bonded over their need to take those people down. But their similarities also lead to conflict, bc they're both too angry, too stubborn, too petty to bend or compromise for the other. They both have a need for control which is another thing that causes friction between them. Black abandoning Sean on that first mission makes it impossible for Sean to ever trust Black. Sean's continued insistence that Black should have risked himself to help him likely enrages Black. They're destined to not get along. But that doesn't mean they're going to let their enmity get in the way of their cause. The mission is more important than their personal feelings for each other and, at the end of the day, their respective passion for their fight is what keeps them from denouncing their relationship all together. At the end of the day, they need each other if they want to make this work.

Their similarities and animosity also makes Sean best suited to see through White's act. White doesn't have Black's passion, his intensity, but most importantly he doesn't have Black's anger and hatred. He's used to his interactions with Black being charged with animosity, when he doesn't get that around White it confuses him. In their very first meeting, for example, he sees his frenemy trying to sneak into his room, clearly up to no good, and throws a punch. The normal Black would have responded in kind, White quivers in fear. Sean has never seen Black fear anything and so to see him fear Sean? Someone he could easily take in a fight, whom he constantly looks down on? That can't not have warning bells going off in his head. White goes around acting calm, non threatening, and even laughs and smiles around Sean. That cannot be normal for Black. So of course Sean notices he's acting weird and decides to keep an eye on him. Ofc he takes charge of the plan bc he doesn't trust Black to not fuck it up when he's acting so weird and goes after White and fixes every mess he sees him create because the mission is what matters the most. Like hell Sean would ever let Black ruin his shot at striking at Tawi.

Moving on to why Sean saved White, it's because he's a good person. I don't know why that would be confusing to anyone. The gang are all good people who are doing this to help others, none of them would ever let their actions hurt someone. Their personal feelings don't get in the way here at all. All three of them ran into that house, zero hesitation, to help White and Dan because they're good people who wouldn't stand around and watch someone get killed. It's just not who they are. No one should need to have romantic feelings for a person to save their life, but especially not characters who are the Good Guys within the narrative. If Sean's actions were driven by his feelings for Black that would go against what this show is trying to say- that it is our responsibility to care. Unconditionally. As for the scene where Sean cries, you're again trying to oversimplify the situation. Sean has just had a really bad day bc of White fucking up the mission, he's scared and angry and frustrated by the way the night has gone. And then Black, the one person who is supposed to be as passionate about their cause as he is, goes and shits all over what Sean and Co. saw as a very heroic act. I talked about this in detail here and a little more here so you can check those posts out if you want a more detailed explanation. The bottom line is, he cries not bc he's jealous but because he's frustrated and White just made him doubt his cause, the one thing that keeps him going. Sean has a need to be seen as good, someone like Black who already brings up so many negative emotions for Sean making him feel like he's a bad guy for doing what he did is bound to make him emotional.

Finally! The Tawi thing. That's one thing I agree brings up a lot of questions that none of us really have answers to. I think that Black also has some connection to Tawi and we're just not seeing it yet bc White doesn't know shit. Another possible explanation could be that Black chose that mission because he knew Sean wanted to do it and it was the best way to steal the lead from Sean. Because lbr Black is just enough of a petty asshole to do that. We will just have to wait for it to be explained in the show for now, since we don't have any real clues to figure it out right now.