#and there's a more toxic way to characterize him for that but i'm just here thinking ooo that is sooo unprepared new father of you...

[liliavalley]

personally i hc that john dory's need for perfection is because they lost their parents before branch hatched and as the oldest he now not only had the mantle of big brother but also the de-facto father figure to four others with only his aging grandmother there to help. but he doesn't know how to be a father. he only knows how to be a leader. and so he pushes brozone further into fame and further towards achieving perfection because that's what good leaders are supposed to do, despite the protests of his brothers. and then one day it's finally too much. he couldn't be everything they needed so he might as well be nothing. might as well not be there at all.

or whatever

[jazjelspen]

ex-girlfriend

jeff the killer x fem! reader

(you've dated Jeff the Killer since high school and have known him for longer. You stayed even after he became who he is now.. but what if you became stronger than him? what if you became a completely new person entirely? and left your heavy-hearted killer boyfriend to rot?)

(notes: took inspo from fanon Jeff but also tried to write him into his own person of course :) will try to be realistic when it calls for it + took some creative liberties in certain aspects too. I also apologize if the characterization of Jeff and others isn't super fitting.. I'm still getting used to how I want to express them and construct them as characters and the world around them.)

(CAUTION!!!: includes dark/serious themes, mention of murder/death, use of cannab1s, slight implications of s3x, toxic relationships, physical abu$3, possible ooc(?) )

(NOT PROOFREAD)

[part 1/2]

you and jeff are a killer duo.

seriously and figuratively.

you two have always been attracted to each other, a connection you two couldn't see but you both knew it was there.

the older and closer you two got, the more you two realized you had more in common than you two initially assumed..

way, wayyy more in common.

but to skip a long origin story short, let me give you some details on how you and Jeff suddenly got separated in the way that you did.

you see, you and Jeff resided at the Slender Mansion.. mostly just to get Slender off your backs due to you guys finding solidarity and a sense of safety in the deep dark forests, far away from home. it kept you two safe from police, as well as anyone or anything else that could be a threat.

of course, the specific area you went into was territory of the thin and tall boss of the forests.. and you would've been dead meat if you two didn't create a sort of alliance with the deity, not exactly proxies yet you two still had to trade something in return for your lives.. the lives and bodies of others seemed to quell Slenderman's hunger quite well.

nonetheless, tonight was one of those nights in which you and Jeff had to find more lives to take, blood to shed.

this night was different though, as Jeff was currently stuck in your shared room after going through a minor operation at the hands of Eyeless Jack, another being that came and left as he pleased.

"You think he'll recover quick?" You perked up as you watched EJ sew in the last stitch in a cut that reopened earlier as he was helping Jeff into your room, cutting up the thread before standing back as you two stared at your injured boyfriend from beside the bed he laid on.

"Not as quick as you may think," spoke EJ, his calm, raspy, and slightly demonic voice sounding monotone as he isn't intending to comfort you in the slightest but just to inform you. "Slenderman's healing properties can only work so fast, the rest depends on his own body's will to repair itself."

"Makes sense, with how much the victim fought back and the cops almost got him by a hair.. " you let out a huff through your nose before crossing your arms over your chest and shook your head slightly. "It has never gotten this bad before..." You murmured before moving away to open the door for EJ to find his way out. "I know you don't usually accept 'thank you's but, thanks. I owe you one for saving his ass."

"Hm." hummed the blue masked being. He may have the form of a human, and sound like one to a certain extent.. but he doesn't have the feelings of one for all you knew. "I'm sure you know how to stitch him up again if another injury reopens, I won't be here the rest of the week as I'll be doing my own business elsewhere."

"Got it.." You opened the creaky wooden oak door to let him through, and he left just as fast as he came in.

Closing the door behind you and letting go of the rusty brass door knob, you sighed in exhaustion.

"Yknow, you've been awfully quiet--"

"Shut the fuck up or I'm going to slice your throat."

Your shoulders dropped as soon as you heard Jeff's empty threat escape his throat. You walked closer to him, your shoes making small thuds and the wooden floors creaking beneath your feet.

"There you are." you cooed, finally hearing him talk after being silent the entire time.. incredibly out of character for him yet you were sure the shame of getting as injured as he is now and having to be 'taken care of' definitely got to him. "I almost started missing you."

"Get my knife, get the rest of your shit, and let's move.. we have people to kill for fucks sake.." Jeff's hoarse voice cracked even further as he attempted to sit up yet the pain coming from his abdomen only caused his nerves his fire up, making him fall back onto the moldy mattress yelping in pain. "You're absolutely stupid for even thinking you're able to go out tonight Jeff." You proceeded to sit on the empty side of the bed beside him, your hand slowly reaching over to gently caress his brutally cut up cheek yet your lover only harshly smacked it away with the back of his own hand. "So.. you're telling me you're going to ignore what I fucking telling you to do?" Jeff groveled and huffed in irritation, if he wasn't so incapacitated he'd probably be pulling you by your arm or hair to get you to do what he told you. "Since when have you gotten so brave, doll?"

"Since I followed you and helped you kill your own family that night." You pulled your hand away, reminiscing the night when your Jeff turned into who he is now.

You remembered how much your heart swelled when you saw him covered in his family's blood, his fresh cut up smile and red inflamed burns across his body and face. You continued to love him just as much as you did before he became so disfigured.

He was your religion, and you followed him in devotion.

"Now, we still have to keep our deal with the big boss right? I'll do your kills for the night, then when your better tomorrow we'll finish up whatever else we have to do.. or hell we can just kill for fun to make it up to you, " you hopped off the bed as you spoke and walked over to a wooden rotting vanity in the corner of your room, with drawers that were unable to close and doors that were hanging by their hinges. Your hand reached over to get an empty crunched up ziplock bag and continued on to walk back to your boyfriend with the object in your hand. "What do you say? I'll even get you some of the good stuff to make you feel better." you spoke lovingly, your hand with the bag grazing over his misshapen nose as he inhaled it deeply with a faint sense of delight. It still lingered the smell of his favorite thing to smoke and get high off of.. aside from your kisses and affection of course.

"Fuck that smells good.." he mumbled before his beady black eyes then suddenly shot up at you with this look of angry hesitation. "This is the only damn time I'm ever letting you out of my sight, make it quick, come back, and if you take a fucking second too long I'll get up and drag you back by your hair myself, got it gorgeous?.."

"You won't even have to bother Jeff." you bent over slightly to give him a quick peck on the lips, but just as much as he was addicted to the green he was also addicted to your warmth, your lips, your presence and self.

You couldn't help but have to suddenly sustain your own body weight by resting an arm beside Jeff's head as his own uninjured arm went to grab you by the back of your head to pull you closer in a deeper, much more passionate kiss.

Hearts beating aggressively in a dark passion that was just as fiery and scarlet as the blood you two would spill on the daily, the faint smell of dried blood, mud, and rubbing alcohol reeked as you two struggled to inhale air with your noises clashing against each other, his aggressive and hungry kisses tasting of iron but also of old cigarettes and booze.

Normally this would disgust any one else that wasn't you, but you liked the way he smelled, how he tasted.. it reassured you that this was in fact Jeff, your Jeff.

Eventually, he would finally let you go by harshly pushing you away in order to break the kiss. He knew that if you stayed any longer he was gonna want you all to himself for the rest of the night, as close to him as you physically could.

"Get out of here and get back, ______. Don't make me wait longer than I have to."

You smiled at him, a sweet and sinister little smile that would somehow always get him hard every time you did it.

"You've got nothing to worry about."

two weeks.

two weeks passed since you disappeared that night.

Jeff recovered the night after you left, but you could imagine the absolute horror and rage he felt when he realized you never came back later that night.

With other residents also living in the mansion, residents with personalities and have bits of humanity left similar to Jeff, you can also imagine the slight wave of rumors to those that knew or noticed the two of you in your years in the mansion. Some say you made a deal with Slender and got to leave, others say that you got kidnapped, that you got brainwashed, caught by police, sacrificed to another higher being, stuck in an asylum or- simply that you died. There were endless possibilities but they all ended the same:

you hung Jeff dry, left his grasp and simply didn't come back.

Jeff would obviously try to get in contact with Slenderman as to know your condition, since he knew that the deity had the consciousness and psyches of every being or person he's made some kind of contact with in his hands.

Although he had to go through one, two, three of Slender's proxies, just to have a word with him somehow.. He would eventually get a word from the big boss through one of his more well known lackeys.

"She's fine, Jeffery. She isn't dead, she hasn't made any deals with him, and she isn't injured to death or whatever." the annoyed and exasperated voice of Masky would echo in the empty halls that the pair stood in, the arms of the mustard-yellow colored jacket would fold over his chest while also being in a sort of stance that expressed the fact that he simply just didn't want to be there.

"Then why the hell is she not back?? Does he know where she could be? If she was kidnapped? If she got arrested or put in a fucking ward?" Jeff yelled in an almost desperate sort of tone yet he would never admit it openly.

"Look, I don't fucking care whether she's alive, dead, stuck in a fucking hole or hell! if she's sucking some other guy's dick that isn't yours! But all I know that is that if she left on purpose he would've already had me or one of the others to get her back, but he hasn't so maybe she's nearby or some shit like that."

Anyone around could see that Jeff was on the verge of reaching over for his knife and cut Masky in half, yet he knew better than to do that to him of all people. "Does he at least know where she is?? I'll get her myself if I have to just give me a fucking address, some place to know where she could be!.."

If Masky wasn't wearing a mask, he'd probably be rolling his eyes to oblivion, irritated beyond belief at something like this even being a problem. "No. But as I already fucking said, if he isn't asking one of us to chase her down and get her back then you shouldn't have to overreact the way you are right now." the proxy proceeded to brush past him without a care, but said one last small thing before he left Jeff's vicinity completely.

"By the way, stop bothering the other proxies about this as we could care less about your girlfriend, just get a new one and fuck off!"

Jeff stood there, trembling in an anger he hasn't felt since the day he attacked his bullies and his brother took the blame for it.

He wasn't exactly reassured, but he also knew that he was very limited and there wasn't much he could do.

But he was restless, so you bet your ass he was going to go look for you even if it was just stalking the streets and killing anyone in his wake.

luckily for him, his waiting would end soon enough.

the week after that, he'd get the news of his life.

he'd been killing all week, killing innocents as he usually did but at a quicker and animalistic pace, he would almost get caught this time by the cops yet again but before his spree could continue he received some news thanks to that cheeky voice that would speak to him through the screens.

he would come back to the mansion, battered and bruised beyond belief. the calluses on his hands split and bled, cuts everywhere all old and fresh, he was ruthless in his murders as well as he was careless.

he needed you to ground him, you were the reason as to why he has even been alive for as long as he has.

his hand seemed to be superglued to the handle of his sharpened knife even as he was dragging his legs towards EJ's basement, where he was led to believe he would find what he was looking for.

He aggressively banged on the metal door with his fist in anticipation, not being able to wait any longer than how much he's already had to. The one to answer the door would be Eyeless Jack as it is his "resting" place in the mansion so to speak.

Once the door opened Jeff would quickly push past EJ not needing to be accepted in the space for him to go in.

"Where is she??" he shouted, his voice boasting in the cold concrete room. "I was told you found her, where the fuck is she?"

EJ would calmly close the door before slowly leading Jeff towards a corner of the large space, where a long, clean-white room divider seemed to hide something.

well, more like someone.

That was when Jeff finally saw you, your limp body laying there and your face had this gentle expression you'd usually make when you were sleeping. Beside you stood Nurse Ann, who was gently cleaning the countless cuts and lacerations you had around your body with several cotton pads and changing gauzes as well.

Jeff's heart fell down to his stomach, he would've started reeling and throwing up if he didn't rush to take a closer look at you only to see that your chest was still rising and falling.

He sighed in relief.

"As you can see, she's alive." spoke EJ as he took a few steps closer, "Nurse Ann found her as she was coming back to the mansion, she found her body laying on the edge of where Slender's territory ends and the rest of forest. She also claims that ______ wasn't there when she left, so she probably appeared a little later that same day."

Jeff's hand trembled slightly as he reached out to touch your face with the back of his hand, yet hesitated slightly when his hand could almost feel the warmth of your skin.

But that's when he took a minute to really take in the rest of your appearance.

Your entire body even your face was dirtied in dried mud and soil, your fingernails were dirty and chipped, your arms and cheeks were decorated in scratches and cuts of various sizes, and your clothes.. seemed to have been replaced with a clean hospital gown and your missing shoes were replaced by socks.

EJ continued on, "And so you don't go attacking me, Nurse Ann changed her clothes. According to her they were tattered and beyond repair, and that they were completely soiled in blood."

"Blood?" Jeff spoke up in slight concern,

"The blood wasn't hers."

[neochan]

FAULT LINE (M) - TEASER

PAIRING. ex!haechan x reader

GENRE. exes to lovers, toxic relationship, smut, plot of sorts, street racer au (barely)

WARNINGS. toxicity, smut mentions

WC. teaser is 1.1k

A. NOTE. so i needed a break from the pick me chronicles and stumbled across this type of hyuck characterization!

"where the fuck are you at?"

blearily blinking, you take a look around. when did you step outside? you think as hard as you can, but nothings coming too. you're drunk. very drunk.

people littered the front of the club - some waiting on ubers, others making out. but you - why were you out here? where were your friends?

"y/n. tell me where the fuck you are."

oh shit.

the phone pressed to your ear brings you back into a sort of semi-focus. you faintly remember crying to a random stranger in the bathroom about your recent break up. the poor girl had reassured you that everything would be okay, but you barely recall pushing her aside and mumbling something about calling your ex to make up.

that was until you had caught the attention of a guy at the bar and ended up doing green tea shots with him.

oh.

oh shit.

okay yeah, every memory was bombarding you now.

if the the still sticky cum dribbling down your thighs didn't serve as a reminder, than the memory of him pressing your hips against the porcelain sink while he fucked into you should have.

"y/n?"

and then you stepped outside to call your ex because. . . you felt bad? yeah you felt bad.

his voice was becoming more impatient with each passing silent second.

"hy-uck?" you hiccup.

he sighs, "god, i thought you passed out or something."

he didn't sound mad. had you already told him what you did? you can't remember.

"hyuck." the whimper trembles from your lips, "i need you."

"i know, that's why you called me." he seems to be fumbling around with something on his end, the muffled strain of his voice giving it away. "baby, where are you? i called you earlier but you didn't hit me back."

tears start to well in your eyes as you press against the brick wall of the club.

"i went out dancing and i did something bad. i-i'm sorry." your words are slurring together and it's becoming harder to breathe. "i didn't mean to, he- he just. . ." your voice trails off in a whisper.

"he? who the fuck are you with?" the jangle of keys sounds on the other line, a few seconds later accompanied by the slam of haechans front door. his temper is rising. he knows he should calm down. shit, he's probably scaring you bad right now, but the thought of you with another guy? you broke up two days ago. why the fuck would you be with another guy.

"i fucked up, hyuck."

"this isn't a game. send me your fucking address." the purr of his car engine rumbles through the phone.

shakily, you take the phone from your ear and send him your location.

"i'll be there in five." another sigh on his end... "if i see whoever this guy is, i'm not sure i'd be able to stop myself from killing him."

you hiccup, "yeah, i know."

four minutes and thirty eight seconds later a black ford shelby GT500 screeches to a halt against the curb.

through blurry eyes, you watch as grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt approach your slouched figure. his jaw is set, eyebrows drawn up - yet you feel nothing but relief.

"jesus, how much did you fucking drink?" he scoops you up in his arms to help you stand despite your wobbly frame. the earth is swimming in your frame with each step you take, but being pressed against his lean body grounds you. so does the cologne doting his chest - so familiar and warm, you press your nose into his t-shirt.

"you smell good." you hum.

"thanks." he peers down at you with a curiosity you don't notice. maybe the breakup affected you way more than he thought because he's never seen you this fucked up. "theres a curb right here, be careful."

deep in your muddled brain, you want to kiss him and thank him for coming to get you - for actually being worried about you for once.

but you don't.

instead, you climb into the rich leather interior of his car and settle back. it stings, being back in a place you once felt so comfortable in. tears pinprick the corner of your eyes for a quick second, but you blink them away. you just let hyuck reach across your chest and buckle you in.

"hyuck i'm sorry."

his gaze fall to yours, millions of emotions lurking deep in those luminous doe eyes. you look nearly innocent and he felt bad.

he swears underneath his breath, "your guilty conscious is gonna be the death of me."

a shaky hand reaches out to touch his cheek. a familiar gesture you can't yet get rid of - not when he's three inches away from you. "hyuck-"

"fuck this." he pulls back and cards a hand through his hair. "what were you doing with another guy?"

"we- we were doing shots and -"

"how many." he breathes.

"a couple? i don't know, maybe. . . maybe three?"

a forced huff leaves his chest, "three shots with a fucking stranger?"

"hyuck, i said i'm sorry-" your hands twist regrettably in your lap.

"yeah yeah, and then what?" he's leaning against the passenger doorframe, leg bouncing right next to you.

"and then he took me into the bathroom and we fucked."

a few seconds of silence. you try to face him. you can't. why did everything have to be so complicated.

"you fucked another guy but called me to come get you?" he sneers. he has to have lost all respect for you. there's no way he hasn't.

"i'm sorr-"

"i get it. you're sorry." he pushes off the doorframe and starts to pace. "what's his name?"

the lump in your throat grows when you realize you never caught his name. "i don't know."

"you don't know? so you fucked a complete stranger?" a laugh rips from his throat, "this is unbelievable."

"can we just go? please."

he ignores your question and presses you further, "what does he look like?"

"hyuck no. please, can we go."

each word is punctuated by the grit in his teeth. "what does he fucking look like."

it was futile to argue with hyuck when he got this way. he was gonna find out who this guy was either way.

"pink hair, silver button down, black pants, expensive watch. probably drinking green tea shots." the details of the night might have been distorted, but you could have picked out this handsome stranger in a line up.

"stay right here. i'll be back."

"no! hyu-" your cry is cut off by the slam of your door. anxiously, you watch his lithe figure move past the bouncer and into the club. a sinking feeling falls in the pit of your stomach.

what the fuck did you do.

ANOTHER NOTE. is this worth continuing? let me know if it is :)

[endiness]

okay, i have gone through probably 50+ s2 interviews of hc researching this so far and i have to say that at this point i really don't see how he wasn't deliberately trying to manipulate the fanbase and the media against the writers and the show to get them onto his side. (and also, like, a very specific, extremely toxic section of the fandom at that.) (it's the sexist incel gamerbros. i'm talking about them.)

"I wanted to represent as much of a book-accurate Geralt as possible and a lot of the fans did as well, and so I campaigned really hard to make sure that he was more verbose, he sounded more intellectual, his choice of words was more thought out and that his approach to Cirilla and everyone else wasn’t antagonistic. Because it initially came across as he was just grumpy all the time with everyone and everything and I really wanted to show this three-dimensional character […] It’s gonna be tough to do the stuff which is as brilliant as Sapkowski’s writing, but it’s something I’m always gonna campaign for and it’s hopefully fit into the vision of the show."

there are so many interviews (ie virtually every interview out of 50+ with the exception of maybe, like, 3) where hc says the exact same thing about how he just cares so much about book accuracy, specifically where geralt's characterization is concerned, and that he really started to push for a more book accurate geralt in s2 and wanted him to be more verbose and intelligent and show that he isn't just a one dimensional character who just grunts and says hmm all the time like in s1 — and at no point does he ever take any responsibility for how that was due to his acting choices in the first place because he would cut his lines.

he also just straight up lies about the situation because the writers originally wrote geralt as being more verbose and book accurate in s1 but then changed the way they were writing him due to the acting choices he made. and yet he acts like that was never the case and that geralt was never originally written that way and he pushes this idea that a book accurate geralt went against lauren's vision. even though, once again, that was the original vision and it only changed due to him.

and on the extremely rare occasion (i'm talking, like, maybe 2 con panels here) that he ever takes any kind of responsibility for his role in all of that, he still waffles about and tries to present this image that he wasn't really cutting that many lines and they weren't really that important anyway and it didn't really matter:

"I didn't even cut that much. Just little bits when someone says how they feel, I thought if Geralt says nothing, and maybe the well-known grunts or hmms and sometimes the occasional f-word, people can take from that what they will."

even though that can't be true as confirmed by joey:

"Henry likes to cut his lines, 'cause he's lazy. No, he literally just likes to cut them. He likes to do more up here [frames his face with his hands] and just with face and hmms and grunts. There's a lot of hmms, and so I often have to take a lot of his lines and turn it into a lot of my stuff so that the plot happens."

and even hc himself confirms this and what joey said in a s1 interview:

"All the grunts, I either added or I didn't say anything and just grunted instead. It was often up to the other actors to go, 'I think he's not gonna say anything now.'"

i also have to point out that hc directly links his push for a more book accurate geralt to reading comments on reddit as i think that's very relevant to what section of the fandom exactly that he's pandering to and why he's been so vocal about it while lying about the role he played in everything and what actually happened:

"I’m on all the Reddit forums. I’m reading all the reviews. I’m literally trying to get everyone’s information. Some of it is not useful, and other criticisms are incredibly useful. I take it all in, and I look forward to bringing it even closer and closer to Sapkowski’s writing. I think any of those criticisms, they often lie in things like I was saying—we don’t have the advantage of a long involved conversation or dialogue with Geralt, so they are criticisms which I think I was prepared for. So for me, it’s about seeing that, understanding it, and working out how I can do my job better within the framework provided, [how to] appease and make those people feel comfortable that I do actually understand this character—and love this character just as much as they do."

"As a source for information, it's really helpful for me to see what everyone's saying, what everyone's thinking, and to see how much my thinking falls in line with whichever side of that spectrum it is and whether I'm doing the wrong thing, for example, by campaigning hard for the book Geralt to exist or whether I'm doing the right thing."

and just another important thing to point out imo: virtually the only times hc ever takes any responsibility in any capacity whatsoever for his own role in the show not adhering to the books (which even then he barely does and it's still always with a lot of excuses), it's only ever at con panels — which are far less likely to get picked up by news outlets and seen by a broader audience — and not in formal interview settings. (except for, i think, one interview he gave early on when s2 first went on hiatus. but even then, it still has the same problems that the con panels have where he comes up with a lot of excuses that don't match what happened.)

then there's an interview hc gave where he went on about how he added some book dialogue into a scene and he made it out to be like it was some kind of rebellion against the writers and he didn't consult them as he was just going to do what he wanted, consequences be damned:

"I did not feel like having long discussion about whether I could add this bit somewhere. So I just did it, said the words in front of the camera, and was ready to face the consequences."

and meanwhile what actually happened was that lauren eventually let hc have free reign and rewrite a scene that he was unhappy with. which, y'know. kinda fucking weird to present what happened in the way he did.

and then there's him pushing this narrative that the female characters — namely yennefer and ciri — were given more depth and focus than geralt and the male characters as if that came at their expense and all of which is somehow due to lauren's women-centric vision of the show as if that's somehow opposed to how the books themselves are:

"On season two, I wanted to bring as much of 'Book' Geralt into the show that Lauren's vision and that the plot would allow. That's a tricky thing to do, because the plot, as Lauren has said, is very centred around bringing women into the centre of The Witcher."

"In Season 1, there wasn't really much of an opportunity for expansive dialogue which Geralt is known for — in the books, he's often known to monologue — because we had two original origin stories which were the center point of the show."

"Lauren’s vision was more of an ensemble piece than the first Witcher books. It’s driven a lot more by the characters of Yennefer and Cirilla."

"I wanted to make sure we really explored as much as showrunner's vision could allow. She has her own plan, so I’ve got to toe that line between book Geralt and Lauren’s vision."

"I wanted to try and bring as much of the book’s Geralt into Season 2 as possible, and as much as the vision, the plot and storylines would allow. The toughest part for me was finding that balance between the showrunners’ vision and my love for the books, and trying to bring that Geralt to the showrunners’ vision."

"It’s important for me to have the character be three-dimensional and it’s tricky to do, as I was saying earlier, because there’s a certain vision and there’s a certain set, storyline and plot. And so, it was about me trying to find Geralt’s place within that."

"There’s only so much space to provide the same character from the books within the showrunner’s vision. But, I did my best to provide a bit more of a three-dimensional character with a bit more emotionality."

"It's important to me that the men in the story are three dimensional as well."

like, first off — and not to continually reiterate this but — that's not true. in s1, geralt was originally written as being just as verbose and intellectual as he was in the books and that only changed due to hc cutting his lines and we know that joey often had to take his lines, too. so there was, in fact, always plenty of time for geralt to be book accurate and for yennefer and ciri to have their own focus. these things were never mutually exclusive and it's definitely some kinda take to imply otherwise.

secondly, while it is true that geralt is the main character of the short stories, ciri is the main character of the main series starting from blood of elves, the book that s2 adapted. and despite claims otherwise, her pov has always had the most focus — yes, even more than geralt (sans baptism of fire, obvs.) and it's not like ciri is the only female pov, either, or that there aren't other important female characters that make up the series. there's yennefer, triss, milva, philippa, fringilla, nimue, condwiramurs, kenna — and that's just off the top of my head. there are plenty more where that came from. women and their stories have always played a central role in the books. nothing about that goes against them or is unique to lauren's vision.

and just with boe in particular, like. triss's pov is either focused on more than geralt's or at least about as much as his depending on how you want to break things down. and with dandelion following very close behind them, too! like, ciri may be the main character of the main series and geralt may be the main character of the short stories and their povs are the most focused on overall, but the books are still very much an ensemble piece made up of a collage of many, many povs to paint a full picture of the universe. and, yeah, the women make up a huge part of that. so the show focusing on ciri and yennefer and the women — and, yes, the men as well because it does actually do that! — is um, still book accurate. so y'know, why the fuck is he presenting this idea that's somehow not the case.

in general, hc emphasizes in a lot of interviews how much he fought for "male characters to be three dimensional." which yeah, given the context of everything else, is some suspicious kinda phrasing because it gives this undertone that the show wasn't writing three dimensional male characters in the first place as opposed to the women and that it's only due to his efforts that anything changed.

also, i have to highlight this quote of him talking about the three dimensionality of men because ~curious that he omits women from the list of people real menTM can be loving and caring toward:

"I believe that real men are very sensitive. They are very capable of doing things which can be violent, if possible, or necessary. But at the same time, they are incredibly capable of love and caring amongst men and towards children and family and all sorts."

and then there's the way hc talks about changing things which comes across as so suspicious, too, imo. especially when there is every other cast member to compare him to. because the way the rest of the cast has talked about this is that they all very consistently say that the whole process is very collaborative and that lauren is very much willing to hear them out about their thoughts and concerns and that it really feels like a team effort and that everyone is working together. and meanwhile the vibes that hc gives off is either "me vs the world (ie the writers)" or "but there's nothing that i can really do to change anything and it's all on the writers~" either way, his attitude very much comes off like all bad decisions are the writers' fault but meanwhile any good decision was due to him and him alone (or maybe the rest of the cast, but definitely not the writers.) like, weird af to play it off that way especially since every other cast member didn't seem to have any problems and they all gave credit where credit was due ie to lauren and the writers.

in conclusion, it'd be one thing if hc had just taken the l and admitted that he is the one who fucked up geralt's characterization in s1 and so he sought to rectify that in s2. but yeah, he doesn't really do that. instead he lies over, like, 50 times to create this narrative of him pushing for book accuracy as if that's somehow in opposition to lauren and the writers and as if they didn't originally write geralt book accurately in the first place and as if he played no role in the lack of book accuracy at all. and then that there's also him pushing this subtle (or not so subtle) narrative about how the women were taking a more central role as opposed to the men and that's somehow unlike the books and something purely due to lauren's vision, too? even though women have always played a central role in the books to the point where ciri is the main character of the main series? and that he's directly linked this narrative he's pushing to reading comments on reddit? (and that he also has a history, since s1, of trying to cater to game stans?) yeah, i just don't see how this doesn't add up to him trying to manipulate the media and audience — especially the worst parts of the fanbase — against the writers and the show and onto his side.

(also just one last thing i'd like to note as i find it super weird that when hc was asked about giving freya any advice, he immediately shut down the notion that he would ever do anything like that and he would never offer her any unsolicited advice and he would only ever give her any if she came to him first. like, there are literally s1 and s2 interviews where freya talks about hc giving her advice. i mean, maybe she did come to him in the first place, idk. but the immediacy in which he shut down the idea that he would ever do anything like that as if offering someone younger than you advice and being a mentor to them is wrong… weird. sus, even. like, why are you scrambling to cover your ass for something that's not even bad and, also, why are you lying about it by omission in the very least.)

[thesoftboiledegg]

"Unmortricken" was a lot. In fact, it might have been a little too much.

To start, I loved the glimpse of what exists outside the Central Finite Curve. The visuals were stunning and reminded me of M.C. Escher's drawings. The Jetson-like family was a nice touch--if anything can happen, who says they can't have different animation styles? All those colorful portals make me wonder what's lurking just out of sight.

It's also funny that the space outside the Curve is full of Rick's favorite thing: crystals. If he took a trip there, he'd come back with his pockets stuffed with gemstones.

Evil Morty's reappearance gave us a decent character study. Since he wasn't the antagonist, we saw him interact with the C-137s as a regular person. Morty's a little impressed, and Rick has a grudging respect for him. Others have called Evil Morty the Rickest Morty, and I agree: similar intelligence, similar technology and similar bloodthirst.

I was glad that he left in the end because that's what his character arc is about anyway. He doesn't want to be part of anyone else's story, not even another Morty's.

However, that's also part of the issue that I had with this episode. Seeing Evil Morty was great, but it was also a little...pointless? You could've had the same story without him. He's not working with Prime, and he has no ties to C-137 after "Rickmurai Jack," so it felt like the writers just said "Hey, you know what would be cool?"

I'm not against writers having fun and giving the audience what they want. "Spider-Man: No Way Home" (yeah, groan at me, Marvel haters) is fan service in blockbuster form, and it was one of the best theater experiences I've ever had.

Still, if Evil Morty came back, I think he should've had a separate episode. The episode juggled C-137 Rick, Morty, Evil Morty and Prime Rick pretty well, giving them satisfying interactions with each other, but no Evil Morty would've meant more relationship development for the C-137s.

Evil Morty's backstory also didn't reveal much about him. I mean--yeah, we all figured that he had an abusive Rick and got fed up. The fact that he had a "regular" Rick instead of a deranged lunatic does make a point about the banality of abuse. Monsters aren't always raving maniacs who torture people in their basements. Ordinary people can wear you down with a slow drip of toxicity and neglect.

I enjoyed this episode, and Evil Morty's return was exciting, but cramming the series' two biggest antagonists and storylines into twenty minutes was a little overwhelming. New plot developments kept showing up, too: Rick found Prime! Prime's various lairs! Omega device! I would've preferred a two-parter.

I'll admit that if you told me that we'd see Evil Morty and Rick Prime in the same shot, I never would have believed you, but here we are.

On that note, Prime's characterization was perfect. No attempt at a cutesy, sad backstory; he's a laughing monster until the end. And is it really the end? He has regeneration abilities, but C-137 acts like he's dead and even gives up the search. This leaves us with a few options:

C-137 killed him.

Prime fooled C-137 into thinking that he's dead when he isn't.

C-137's keeping him alive for later use.

Hopefully, this is more complicated than it looks because I'll be disappointed if this is the end of Prime. He's a brilliant reflection of C-137: the Rick he'd be without his tiny shred of humanity.

And Prime's a maniac, but he tells C-137 the truth. Rick broke into Prime's house. He pretended he belonged with this group of strangers. He latched on to Prime's grandson because he never had his own. His brutal, violent streak never went away no matter how long he tried to play house.

Prime says "Admit it! You would have been me!" In season three and parts of season four, Rick was close. His love for his family--love that he pretended he didn't have--and desire for their approval just barely pulled him back. But what kept that spark alive? How close was he to becoming a cold, unfeeling shell?

In the end, C-137's not satisfied after he destroys Prime--and weirdly, I'm not satisfied, either. Beating Prime to an unrecognizable pulp doesn't bring Rick's original family back. It doesn't erase the atrocities that Rick's committed. It doesn't make his grief go away. It doesn't change the fact that Rick teetered on the edge of turning into the monster that he despised.

What's more satisfying is that Rick didn't turn out like Prime. His Morty doesn't give two shits about Prime, but he loves him. He hugs him in relief (come on, Rick, hug him back already!), cries out "Rick? Rick!" and shakes his body when he thinks he's dead, and talks excitedly as they return home.

Rick's going to therapy, which Prime would have mocked. He went from having nobody to living with FIVE kids if you count Morty and Summer. Even he and his Jerry are pretty tight.

Rick knows this, but he still feels empty all the time. Vengeance doesn't work, drinking doesn't work...wouldn't it be easier if he just switched off his humanity and laughed at everything, even his own death?

But now that he knows how it feels to be loved, especially by his hypothetical grandson, I think he'll always find himself at the Smiths' doorstep.

[hijinks-n-lowjinks]

fic recs masterlist pt 2

So here's a part two to my first fic rec list because I thought the first list was too long to add more or I've only read them more recently

Haikyuu!

you're all i see, you're all i need by DailyMelody: iwaoi fic where iwaizumi lies to his family that he and oikawa are dating and he slowly realizes they haven't been faking their feelings, nsfw in the last chapter

Sprout, Bloom, Grow by SpaceJammie: matsuhana and iwaoi fic from the perspective of matsukawa, this is probably my fav hq I'm keeping up with rn, the characterizations and story are so deep and well written, unfinished

Let the Light Out by UhohShouto: post canon kagehina fic where kageyama realizes he's super into hinata and they make a bet that leads to them smooching and doing much more, nsfw

what i really mean by solyn: kuroken fic where they're both sort of clueless about their feelings while everyone else around them knows they're in love, nsfw

it drives you crazy getting old by atsumusbiceps: a sakuatsu 13 Going On 30 au that's absolutely adorable, omi is in love from the beginning but atsumu thinks being angry and attracted to someone is normal

Gray in the Middle. by DeadDrabble (MisakillDatMonkey): crazy good sunaosa fic where suna is a model and osamu is his new assistant, the development of their friendship while osamu slowly gets to see the real suna and coming to see the toxicity of the fashion industry, unfinished, future nsfw

Sakusa Kiyoomi's Short and Unhelpful Guide To Falling In Love by honest_pebble: sakuatsu fic where omi asks for atsumu to kiss one drunken night and they can't seem to keep their hands off each other in the months after

i pretend you're mine, all the damn time by theglitterati: bokuaka high school fic where bokuto is nervous about his lack of experience when a girl asks him out so he asks akaashi to help him learn how to kiss, very cute and silly

sleeping with strangers by starbeyy: kagehina fic where kageyama is a lawyer that's afraid of attachment and only sleeps with strangers until he gets an extremely cute client that makes him less afraid, nsfw in later chapters

Take a hint by badreputation: sunaosa fic where suna doesn't realize osamu is trying to woo him and is just an oblivious dummy

i sing the body electric by viverella: iwaoi getting together fic where iwaizumi beings to realize he doesn't have entirely platonic feelings about his best friend

dearly departed by radiantradish: daisuga ghost au where suga is stuck in limbo while he's in a coma and daichi is a firefighter that keeps dreaming about him

Winter is Red by MeikoAtsushi: technically this is the sunaosa spin-off to their original sakuatsu fic but the premise is that osamu can see the red threads of fate that tie soulmates together but he doesn't have one and falls in love with suna anyway, this fic is fucking PAINFUL because osamu is determined to make his life miserable and try to push suna away but he can never stay away for long, nsfw

the posterior probablity by izayas: sakuatsu au where omi is a professor and atsumu is an m.d. who's taking his class and they fall in love lol

SunKissed by Paintbrushyy_Ducky98: bokuaka fic where akaashi's family's new pool boy is really cute and he sort of seems familiar... nsfw

favor from the boy you can't resist by crossbelladonna: bokuaka fic where bokuto asks akaashi to be his fake boyfriend and things go as well as you'd expect

Miles by lettersinpetals: kuroken post canon/during chapter 402.1 fic where kuroo is very aware of his love for kenma but is convinced kenma doesn't feel the same

Night Moves by fluorophoring: kuroken fic where they just keep hooking up at night without actually dating or discussing their feelings, heavy nsfw

What to Do (to You) by Mooifyourecows: iwaoi fic where matsuhana set them up on a blind date despite already being roommates and having crushes on each other, nsfw

take me the way i am by almostsophie1: kuroken fic where kuroo wants to know if kenma is willing to have sex with him just to "practice", nsfw obviously

spill my guts by wasted: bokuaka fic where akaashi is a massive pining simp and doesn't know what to do about his crush

Legend Has It by sifuhotman: sunaosa crime au??? i literally think about this fic all the time and how it's not finished, such an interesting plot with osamu as a detective and suna is a con artist who has connections to some underground crime syndicates, the last chapter posted legit made me cry, i really identify with osamu in this fic, nsfw in later chapters

Miscellaneous

Apple of Your Eye by Kattythingz: sk8 renga fic but it's if Adam became obsessed with Reki instead of Langa, highkey NUTS how good Adam's characterization is because you want to bash his skull in with a hammer

A Crown of Gems and Gold by Kattythingz: fma edling fic that's basically a rewrite of the entire series but if edling got together soon after their first meeting, the best characterization, action, and dialogue ever utilized in writing, unfinished but ongoing

Always an Angel, Never a God by oktsukki: jjk satosugu au where hidden inventory didn't end as bad as they did in canon, a lot of good healing and characterization

lights out by phollie: hxh killugon fic where killua is just very soft about gon as gon shows him around the island he grew up on

Sword of Damocles by orphan_account: mp100 terumob au fic where teruki asks mob out as a joke but he actually starts to fall for him

[guiltycorp]

Okay finished the Haruspex route of Pathologic Classic! I need to play Clara's route to see the whole picture but I'm already fascinated by the differences between P1 and P2 in terms of characterization. I think I like Pathologic 2 even more now considering how they improved on Artemy's route, I am sorry to say I didn't like it at all in classic... This is all just my personal impression after first playthrough ofc. Ramblings about both Artemy and Daniil ↓ I think what bothered me about Haruspex was mostly just his attitude and his messiah plot. Once the first day is out of the way it's all smooth sailing for him, a bit too much so?? The only personal conflict he has is figuring out his father's exact wishes for him and choosing a sacrifice. Killing anyone is treated as fair or something that needed to happen and the Haruspex is always shrugging it off... And either option, Aglaya & the Town or Polyhedron... It just doesn't seem like he is that attached to either? So it doesn't feel like he is sacrificing much personally? Like sure he wants to save the Town because of his messianic qualities, but that's again more about fulfilling his 'role' rather than genuinely wanting to save lives, or at least it read that way to me. I'm sure it's meant to be both and P2 makes this far more apparent, but in P1 it elicited a rather squinty reaction from me. Plus well yeah, getting rid of Polyhedron is pretty much just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, like yep he sure didn't care about that thing lmao so getting rid of it isn't such a difficult choice at all. The suggestion that the Polyhedron could be his Udurgh is kind of useless because the Town and Earth are far better candidates and fit with Kin beliefs better, which in this game Artemy pretty much doesn't doubt at all.  Maybe this is why the Bachelor is so present in his route? Daniil did say he'd commit suicide if he lost, maybe we'd want to think twice about pushing him towards it... But again! Does it seem like this guy cares ahhh haha... The dialogue option that is actually engaging with what Daniil said is pretty much there to make it clear to the player what the Utopian ending is and what it would be like.

Ngl at first I thought he was meant to be the 'sacrifice' until they said it's a woman. Every time Artemy learned something about the Bachelor's motivations he'd write down in his diary like '...if it matters' since the player can always choose what ending to go with I guess. I also find it curious that he can say that they are friends but still always writing only 'the Bachelor' in his diaries while Daniil switched to 'Artemy' and 'Burakh' during the final stretch. The one-sided yaoi................ 🤔 At least Artemy doesn't get mad at him for ordering to set the mythic bull on fire, I guess their friendship did mean something to him after all at that point. Also when Capella tells him that he should ask the Bachelor for help with getting into the Polyhedron since the Bachelor 'fawns upon you a lot anyway' the Haruspex just goes 'oh yeah! ok' fjdghdjg... Now that I think about it I DID like the Haruspex route for what it did with the Bachelor hahah, his dialogues and letters are just so good sometimes. Like wow, I felt this.

Very cool, if i was Artemy I'd totally abandon my weird murderous calling for this. Tangentially related... P2 had one moment that I remember from my last replay when Rubin, if kept alive, falls into a deep deserved sleep in his home, and Artemy just starts emotionally monologuing at him.

Like, P1 Artemy would never, but also it goes to show that he's still very much a repressed man here too, buying into toxic masculinity ideals who can't just talk to his friends about his feelings directly... The same character, but more complex. I want to make it clear that I DO like him and his motivations in P2 actually, and his personal conflict being more about the future of the Kin makes that game much more powerful to me than what his classic route was. I heard that initially he was planned to be far more violent and dark, so maybe he could have been sort of a villain protagonist and this was changed later and this is why it feels a bit bland? Hmm... Idk this is fun to me because meanwhile the Bachelor didn't feel that different to me in both games lmao. A highly stressed educated guy who is just trying to prevent the spread of epidemic the 'right' way and then clinging to the only chance he has left to preserve both his ideals and his life. He is a bit less polite in P2 at first (while still very much helping by warding off Rubin) but then rather quickly becomes more cordial to Artemy and vice versa (and wow it sure is nice when Artemy can actually be polite and friendly..). And the moment when he explains some of his personal deal to Artemy feels rather similar in both iterations mood-wise.

I liked his route in P1 a lot, surprisingly so, and I now understand why so many people liked him before P2 came out and afterwards too... There's just something very real about how he is the intelligent Capital doctor but with an extraordinary dream to combat death itself, possibly given to him by the Powers That Be due to these children trying to cope with people dying around them. And instead of favoring him for it they hate him! They leave him with nothing but this final chance to fix things, even if that means destroying everything and rebuilding anew. Daniil's desperation feels very real and thus more compelling, plus like... I mean it's pretty much confirmed that it's not just the Polyhedron and that the soil itself is 'rotten' (literally in the meta real world and through blood beneath the earth in the Town itself) and the decease could return again, sooo his ending doesn't look that bad comparatively. I also appreciated how Maria (or uhh was it Nina talking through her here as well?) explained how their Utopia doesn't actually mean a 'perfect' place, more so just an impossible dream.

The Bachelor doesn't mind this at all, a detail I loved.

...Hmm that said maybe P1 makes it a little too easy for him to kinda ignore the Kin issue, he is only mad about their circumstances when it comes to Vlad choosing to doom thousands of the Kin workers inside the Termitary (which is just his doctor ethics). I mean it is realistic for him to ignore the implications of representing the imperialist side, he does mention his father was a military man too at some point I think... Still, he is very quick to accept the Kin's unique beliefs as something that has obvious merit, trusting the Haruspex with that side of things in both of their routes, and he doesn't make much of a distinction between them and regular Town people when it comes to patient treatment. If anything it's probably a sign of how the writers weren't thinking that hard about this worldbuilding aspect at the time... even if I appreciated them showing the downsides of the Kin's society, I think those were done better than in P2 purely because it was a bit more realistic (I am talking about sexism mostly, such as selling their own daughters and not respecting their autonomy, plus the mention of Kin politics and different ruling clans rather than the hive mind situation implied in P2). Like, it is more obvious in P1 that wholeheartedly embracing the Kin's return to tradition isn't such a good solution for them either, but one that will likely happen anyway with Artemy and Taya as their new leaders. And it could get trickier in Pathologic 3 I think, especially since most of us really appreciated the portrayal of colonization in P2 and would expect it getting addressed again in future games of other character routes, but we'll see I guess! Either way I look forward to that game a lot now.

[zara-renata]

currently vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass bc of your new caleb fic. like oh my god i need to be held so bad bc the YEARNING OH MY GOD. you are so so good at writing the tension (sexual and not) between these two characters. reader’s longing is so clearly an aching wound that’s been festering for far too long and caleb is both treating it and also making it worse. i loved the bits where we got to see in his head especially at the end where u told us that the meeting was no random coincidence but instead a test of the reader’s reaction. that’s so good, reader’s feelings felt so visceral and the way that they pretty much only say caleb’s name as the entirety of their dialogue is the perfect touch. i loved the unveiling of caleb’s mechanical augmentation and how tender it was and the mention of caleb’s blush. it shows how reader’s feelings still have the capacity to surprise him or lay bare his own want for her even as he is carefully trying to control every aspect of their reunion. i’ve never read the little prince but the references were so cool and tbh everything u sprinkled it from their childhood was so well placed. the nightmares that reader has had and how caleb comforted them, how they were both longing for more but never crossed the line. it’s so delicious and if im honest every mention of caleb’s body had me wound up bc his design is so attractive but the way that the reader described him was practically body worship it was so good. thank u for mentioning his happy trail and his hairy arms i needed that 😭 this line was probably my favorite bc the (un)subtle dominance and possessiveness of the first half had me gripped by the neck i swear: “resting your clasped hands on his big thigh as he drives one-handed, relaxed.” it’s so domestic but clashes so hard with the actual context of the scene. i love how they settle into these rhythms with each other bc they know each other so intimately even tho they’ve never crossed that romantic/sexual line. and god when the fic switched to caleb’s perspective at the end and he was ignoring how hard he was i literally shoved my fist in my mouth. the restraint!!! the longing!!! the want!!!! i feel insane. and of course the finger in the mouth made my brain short circuit. it’s so lifestyle dom of caleb, and the mention of choking reader lightly just to bruise her for others to see and for them both to enjoy. i need to be locked up in a cage and released only on january 22nd bc idk how im gonna wait patiently for caleb now. (last thing is that the mention of the choking/hand on her throat really crystallized for me what caleb’s favorite position probably is but let me not say right now or i might blow up) but thank u thank u thank u for this fic. every day i wish infold was on here ready to hire u to write out the lore for sylus and now i have u to thank for wonderful and intriguing caleb characterization

Okay so I've read this comment multiple times, especially now as I'm polishing the second part and am having serious doubts about whether it will ever see the light of day because it's A Lot, and I think will be a turn off for a lot of people because it backtracks in time to their growing up together. So thank you for all the kind things you point out about part 1, it's really encouraging because i have been putting in so much thought into this version of the calebmc character dynamics with what we now know about him. he's clearly manipulative, possessive, two-faced, dangerous, suffered from guilt for so long about how much he wanted her, his feelings for her, which caused him emotional turmoil, shame and self-recrimination before he died, but because he's a main LI and this is a romance game, I firmly believe he genuinely loves and cares for mc. like all the LIs, the writers will play up his possessive, protective, 'villain' quirks in the memories but never have him cross the line into truly toxic territory. More under the cut because this became a novel.

So I want to take these characteristics and really want to explore the relationship dynamics and how deeply these two would have affected each other from the moment they met/were brought under the same roof. I love your description of 'reader’s longing is so clearly an aching wound that’s been festering for far too long and caleb is both treating it and also making it worse.," because that's exactly how I imagine it for her throughout her youth and then during his death. and it's clear from the PVs of Caleb that he has felt the same, lamenting how he had to 'endure, day after day, suffocating." with teenage emotions, that house was probably a powder keg of high-key feelings and they never let themselves act on them. that's amazing to me.

Because he knows MC inside and out, I imagine him being much more assertive in interacting with her (kind of what you described as a lifestyle dom, even though I think BDSM terms can sometimes be so limiting when discussing human relationships). but like, for example, to contrast with sylus (who is embodiment of love, he is not lying when he says that no love is purer than his), he always is so careful to make sure he has mc's consent, that mc is with him of their own free will, that he's not coercing mc, mc is choosing to be with him, actively. he made such a shit first impression with mc, and just wants to love them, to be loved in return, and he is so patient and calculating and plotting to ensure that he does it in a way that mc will respond positively to. he's begging for mc to notice him while being terrified of fucking up again imo. But i imagine that with caleb, caleb already knows mc in this life, he knows what she wants, he likely feels like he already has mc's consent and just acts. he's likely stubborn and obnoxious insisting that he knows best. he's not offering quid pro quo, transactional exchanges like sylus; doesn't feel the need to negotiate, because he's already put in the time, he's always been protecting and loving mc and present in a way that sylus has been unable to be until he kidnaps mc like the heartbroken dragon he is. i think caleb probably draws so much self worth from already knowing, anticipating, and providing for mc, trying to 'create a world where it's just the two of us,' definitely likes being the only one (in his mind) that can give mc what she wants/needs. whereas with sylus it's easy to write him as the green flag he has always been, trying to write caleb's brand of possessive, mask-wearing possibly-brought-up-to-kill mc but fell in love with her instead, in a romantic way, without crossing into abusive, toxic territory, presents an interesting challenge for me right now.

in any case, i'm trying to challenge my anxiety here big time, because caleb is already controversial due to the 'childhood friend/adopted brother' schism in the translations and the fandom, and because it's clear that he's two-faced and manipulative, and you have to consider their childhood when thinking about their current relationship, and with the way online culture is these days it kind of feels like a mine field wanting to dig into their story and give it context that infold will likely not give us because, well, they still haven't done that for mc at all and everything she's been through, and still haven't done it for the first few days with sylus. so I appreciate this message, esp. since people follow me for my sylus stuff and i'm shoveling unreleased obsessive caleb fic at them while letting sylus simmer. i also appreciate the comments/tags people have left on the fic itself. it's reassuring that there are people out there who like complicated, nuanced relationships in their fanfic (which I try to write with varying success), especially with caleb and his divisive place in the fandom. So thank you so much, i'm glad you enjoyed this fic.

and finally: he's not even out yet, my take on him currently could be wildly OOC and people should point and laugh at me and maybe throw things at me too once he's out and he's nothing like i'm predicting lmao. if you're caged till the 22nd, i'm right there with you, 8 days uuuuuuugh

[loreartisan]

Okay, I've had some time to let my thoughts settle about the River Cartwright/Louisa Guy snippet we saw in the S5 preview and (while I've kind of begrudgingly accepted it) I've come to a conclusion about why I was opposed to it.

For the most part, I've gotten the impression that River is a very very single guy who doesn't really 'go' for women/romantic situations. And to me, this makes sense. I'll elaborate below, if you're curious to see my thought process. If you're one of the ppl who think he really deserves to be with someone, then... idk this is just my own justification. Get ready, I'm going full analytical essay mode here.

Reason 1: He respects boundaries too much. In season 1, when Sid tries telling him the reason she's at Slough House, he tells her that he doesn't want to know since it's likely for personal reasons which is "none of his business". In season 2, when Lamb says that River should 'get' with Kelly if she offers, River is very opposed to this and finds it (rightfully) unethical. In season 3, River tells Louisa that her private life is not Lamb's business and that he shouldn't bring up her "way of processing her trauma". In season 4, he hesitates to share his personal problems with Louisa, emphasizing that he is considerate of "keeping things work related". There are a lot of instances where River shows how he doesn't want to take things beyond what is needed, which to me translates to: friends are all I need.

Reason 2: It's very anti-Bond of him. James Bond is this slick, suave guy who manages to charm every lady he comes across in literally every iteration he's in. One of Bond's most recognizable aspects is how he is always seducing women to get his job done. River is this awkward guy who bumbles most of his social interactions through misunderstandings and sarcasm. Most of River's characterization is on the basis that he thinks he's Bond, but continually proves in many ways how he is the opposite of him. River's relationships with women is another way to telling the audience that he is very far from being the 'perfect' spy that James Bond is.

Reason 3: He's got too much drama around him that renders romance unnecessary. River is likely one of Slow Horse's most intriguing characters, solely based on his family background. The grandson of a legendary spook, the son of an ex-CIA mercenary, the son of a bitter and neglected daughter, the brother to trained assassins who got in trouble with lots of people... There are so many points of interest around River's family alone that I just don't think a romantic plot would benefit his character. It's nice to have rounded, three-dimensional characters, but if a character has too many conflicts and side plots, it can get difficult to keep up with. If I had to choose between the themes of River coming to terms with his family legacy or allowing him to find romance with someone, I'd pick the first option because it seems far more intriguing and has more setup/depth.

There are more subtle reasons here and there, and I know that the book version of River contradicts some of my points, but these are the major aspects behind my pitch for "River should stay single and not be shipped with anyone." I see why he might be shipped with some ppl, but ultimately that is my stance on River's romantic life. His women friends should just stay friends, and I am glad Spider died because that man was TOXIC and i dont know why ppl ship them.

uhhhhh thanks for reading my essay? Hopefully yall see the way I'm thinking (maybe i convinced you to see my side of things too???). Crazy how i did all this based on 0.5 seconds of footage that is likely (in true River fashion) a misunderstanding. Yay for overthinking!

Let me know if my essay was good (was it engaging? was my writing good? did i bring up some dogwater points?), i spent more time on this than I expected but it feels good to air my thoughts out.

TL;DR I am ✨ delusional ✨

[aihoshiino]

chapter 146 thoughts

This chapter (and thus this chapter review) contains discussion of abuse, suicidal ideation and CSA, so if you're not in the headspace for that, skip this one and I'll see you next time.

we are so oshi no back

After last chapter left me fighting for my life to come up with literally anything to say about it, this was one of those chapters where I ended up having more and more to say about it the more I turned it over in my head. It still feels a bit disjointed and has that same issue of ripping through the events of the movie way too fucking fast that the arc as a whole has been having lately but this chapter was such a breath of fresh air I can't bring myself to care.

The chapter itself is more or less split in two, with one half dedicated to 15 Year Lie's in-universe events and the other focusing a bit on Aqua and Kana for, tbh, the first time in way too long. Admittedly, my enthusiasm for 15YL has waned given the reveal of just how much of it is completely made up but like. I'm still gonna over analyze this stuff. Sunk cost fallacy, don't fail me now!!!!

I joke, but the 15YL section of this chapter was legitimately bone chilling. That barrage of cuts following Uehara's attack on Airi…. fuuuuuuuck, man.

Airi herself is pure fucking poison this chapter too and I mean it in the best way. I continue to be incredibly impressed with how OnK understands the motivations of a person like Airi what her abuse of Hikaru is really about. When discussing this in 141, Miyako points out just how often victims of abuse can themselves go on to perpetuate their own pain out of a need to try and regain their dignity, but I think what Airi seeks in her abuse of Hikaru is control. We see how often she wields her power over him while pretending that he has as much agency as she does in their """relationship""" and it's repeated here, too; she throws the results of her own sexual abuse of him in his face as a way of permanently chaining the two of them together, all while tearing down his worth as a person as if to 'prove' he deserves to be trapped in her grasp. I've said before that Akasaka is unsettlingly good at writing toxic mothers but I think Airi has made it pretty clear that Akasaka understands and is thus excellent at writing abuse and abusers in general, and for someone like me who counts that as one of their favourite Themes (tm) in fiction, I feel quite well fed.

The abuse Airi hurls at him is also interesting from a perspective of paralleling Hikaru even further with Ai. We saw snippets of this in 140, of Hikaru characterizing himself as someone desperately trying to construct a version of himself that can be loved by others the same way Ai creates 'Ai of B-Komachi', a version of herself who can give and receive love in the way she thinks her authentic self is unable to. Airi puts this into more explicit words; Hikaru must construct this fake version of himself because there is no 'real' him and thus, he is inherently unlovable. Jesus Christ.

Knowing those words were swimming around in his head, it makes the HKAI scene that follows even more of a gutpunch than it already is. It's the most wonderful kind of miscommunication tragedy - with their respective traumas, there is basically no other way a talk like that could have gone and yet it's agonizing to see it play out. Ai's innocent cruelty in the face of Hikaru's pain and her suffocating smile… the worst part is, while I completely understand why this was so shattering for Hikaru, it's impossible to miss that this was, in a way, an expression of love from Ai; it was honesty, an admission of vulnerability. She herself even says she doesn't want to lie to him. But to Hikaru, what else could that have sounded like but a confirmation of his most godawful fear?

that said. the timeline here is very confusing. this seems to imply hkai were still dating all the way up to the murder-suicide, which seemed to be just before the dome concert but did the breakup really seem that recent during their phone call?? this whole timeline is penised beyond repair.

The art in this chapter in general is incredibly good but something in particular I want to highlight is how much and how often Aqua-as-Hikaru looks like Ai in these panels. I can't put my finger on what it is, but that similarity always makes me feel so warm and sad whenever I see it. For as much as he struggles with his relationship to her, Aqua really is his mother's son through and through.

and. man. what even is there to say about that scene in the rain and everything that follows. I was't sure if the murder/suicide was going to be featured in the movie but even the brief snippet of it that we got and that barrage of scene titles and Kamiki's silent scream… whoof. shit like this makes me really hope we get to see mengo illustrate a horror manga someday because i think she would absolutely kill it.

We cut back to reality to see Aqua reading the script and in perhaps the most interesting swerve in this chapter, we see that he has once again reverted to his double black hoshigans. And uh, am I going to sound like a terrible person if I say I'm really glad for this? LOL.

Obviously I would rather Aqua not be experiencing Suicidal Ideation (Bass Boosted) 24/7, but it's kind of a relief to see that one single conversation wasn't enough to totally shake Aqua out of that headspace. I've talked a lot about how frustrating I find it that 'Ruby finds out Aqua is Gorou' is treated as the finale to her black hoshigan arc and every ongoing thread, internal and external, attached to it was dropped like a rock with no further interrogation. It robbed Ruby of the opportunity for some really important growth and, imo, was just shitty for Kana and Memcho who were treated extremely poorly by her and got no apology for it. I was really worried this would be the case for Aqua as well and that his own dip into that rancid headspace would end on a wet fart which would really sting given just how little insight we've gotten into him this arc. But this chapter makes it clear that while some cracks have started to form in his armor, he's not in the clear just yet.

i mean, even if he was permanently back to one white star, aqua is such a little freak regardless………………………….

What this means in the long term is a little hard to pin down, both because we've had so little insight into Aqua's headspace this arc and because the exact nature of black hoshigan as a symbol has always been a little Calvinballed, but in this context and for Aqua specifically, I think we can read this as his conviction in the messy endgame of his revenge play being shaken up. I, personally, have been reading the black hoshigan as of late as an expression of the sort of futureless despair that can become suicidal ideation, at least for Aqua; since immediately after Ai's death, we have gotten incredibly strong hints that Aqua is suicidal, his guilt-fueled desire to die and his desperate want to experience a happy future at war within him. He more or less explicitly says as such in 106, expressing that this break in their relationship is necessary for Ruby to be able to live on 'after he's gone' - which strongly implies that Aqua's revenge play is intended to end with his death.

Knowing that Ruby is Sarina wasn't quite enough to shake his conviction, but their talk in 143 was. I do think Ruby just giving him some straightforward affirmation was a good starting point but I also can't help but wonder, with the context that his white stars were not indicative of a permanent change, if hearing just how deeply Ruby still relies on 'Gorou's' presence in her life struck a nerve for him. Paraphrasing her from 143, she straight up says Gorou is the one who gives her life meaning. And if that's how it is, what exactly will happen if he's gone again..?

Obviously this is all still speculation because even when I am begging on hand and knee Akasaka is refusing to give us Aqua introspection but at this point I have to make a guess at SOMETHING if i am going to say anything remotely coherent about aqua in this arc, so

ANYWAY!! AQUA AND KANA HAVING A NORMAL ASS CONVERSATION FOR THE FIRST TIME IN GOD KNOWS HOW LONG!!! Ngl, it did give me a bit of a chuckle to see Kana voice the question of whether Aqua was getting too immersed in his role, given that people were accusing her of that back during the first round of the RBKN conflict.

I was also really surprised to see Aqua just outright say that yeah, he is at least flirting with suicidal ideation. Like - that's the first time he's said that out loud, to anybody??? In 143 he voices the less damning but still not great sentiment that he feels guilty for being alive but this is to my knowledge the first time Aqua has expressed his suicidal ideation out loud, let alone to anyone else. And… fuck, man! That's an absolutely terrifying thing to hear a friend say. No wonder Kana reacts like she does.

Because of my powers of Claire-voyance (read: basic pattern recognition and being in fandoms for 15+ years), I'm pretty sure people are going to be Very Mean to Kana about the way she chooses to respond to Aqua here but honestly? Not only did this tough love response feel very IC for her, but the clumsiness of it felt very honest to me. I think a lot of people in fandom lately just want characters to talk like fucking therapists all the time and have the Correct And Unproblematic Response to… well, situations like this. But Kana is an 18 year old girl who has her own share of issues and her friend she knows is dealing with his own huge amount of baggage just casually dropped an "i wanna kms" on her. All things considered, I think she handles it surprisingly well.

Because like… look at what Kana really says to Aqua here. She gives him some of their usual banter to diffuse the tension but then makes herself very clear: she does not want Aqua to hurt himself and makes him promise that he won't. It's clumsy and rough in the way Kana often is, but I think the important part - her sincere care for Aqua as her friend - really does shine through.

also cute that other people caught: Kana squishing Aqua's face seems to be an intentional callback to one of their on-stage interactions in Tokyo Blade, right down to Aqua making a identical scrunchyface to Kana. Extremely cute. I love it when Aqua is cute <3

Kana also being a person able to shake Aqua out of his black hoshigans also leans into something I've been hoping is going to pay off for a while now; the idea that Aqua's salvation is not going to come from any one, singular character but from the many different people who Aqua has built relationships with coming together when he needs them to support him. One of the things OnK has continually highlighted is the way isolation and lacking support systems warp and damage people's mental health and I think it would play excellently into that theme to have Aqua's support net, so to speak, to be wide enough to catch him no matter where he falls.

the product placement was very stupid but i did laugh pretty hard at it and then immediately go buy myself some potato chips so i guess it worked. genius mangaka aka akasaka.

All jokes aside, the note their talk ended off on was so lovely too. Aqua being honest enough to admit that being with Kana is fun and Kana getting all dokidoki and then quietly admitting she feels the same when she's alone… cute! But more than that, it highlights something about the AQKN dynamic I think is really important, regardless of whether their relationship is romantic, platonic, in laws, mlm/wlw hostility or whatever else; Kana is his friend and he can just be a normal boy and have normal fun with her without any ulterior motives. It's something Aqua doesn't really have in any of his other relationships so getting a reminder of that and what it means to Aqua was really good.

honestly i think i am just so starved of nice things happening to my son that seeing him opening up to one of his friends and admitting he has fun (HIS LAUGH!!!!!!) was like a shot of heavenly ambrosia for me. please can hoshino aqua have just one nice day.

OR UH… BASED ON THAT LAST PAGE…. PROBABLY NOT ANYTIME SOON….!!!

this is what i mean about this chapter giving me 5000000 things to talk about. kamiki is TALKING TO RUBY IN THE FLESH FOR THE FIRST TIME and i almost completely forgor.

why is he dressed like a dad about to take her out on a fishing trip, though

Ruby looks unusually solemn while she's praying, which is interesting. She's been pretty bright and high energy since 141ish so I'm curious what has her looking so comparatively dour. She's praying at a shrine, too, which means there's probably something on her mind. Nik (@akane-kurokawa) theorized that she's anxious about the upcoming scenes in the movie (LIKE, YOU KNOW, HER MOM'S DEATH) and until we get further insight on that, that's what I'm gonna assume too.

putting aside how Shrimptresting it is that Kamiki turned up out of nowhere like that, I can't help but note a certain horrible parallel between Uehara meeting young Hikaru in the rain with a black umbrella and Kamiki doing the same for his daughter…

cannot wait for that entire talk to get offscreened. lol.

break next week……………………………

[riddler-enthusiast]

So I recently finished the Suicide Squad Ostrander Run. It was on my list for a while ago but decided to finally read it cause I wanted to read more about Captain Boomerang and I always like to start with the '87 retcons. I definitely wasnt prepared for his characterization there and won't talk about it here but- I think I now have a new guilty pleasure ship. And I just want to know if I'm the only one in this *ship* with me.

So Deadshot going with Boomerang to his mother's funeral was something. I, at first, thought about this ship lightly in the first issues because why was Lawton visiting Boomerang when he managed to be out of prison thanks to the SS missions he was in?

But the thing is that I was not prepared for what was going to happen after Boomerang's mother's funeral issue.

So basically Boomerang took too many drinks and they missed their airplane so now Deadshot's luggage got lost with his outfit and identity???? And he starts to hate on him so fucking much???

So I don't really have any screenshots of the issues but Deadshot starts threatening Boomerang for losing his luggage and Boomerang's just like "Jeez... I'll have to kill him I guess" and it really shouldnt be as funny as it is 😭😭? Because there's also this page when Deadshot has the opportunity to shot a guy that was fighting with Boomerang and he just decides to not help in the most goofy way possible.

After that Boomerang found his luggage (decided to do that instead of trying to kill him idk why) and gave it to him but Deadshot still hates him because he's a jerk in that run so yeah.

Idk I just think they should have a situationship. Unless you think I'm weird for seeking toxic yaoi whenever I go. Then in that case you didnt saw this post and you can judge me only if you do it in silence.

Also do they even have a ship name. How would that work? Boomershot? Idk. I just can't stop thinking about them and needed to share my current obsession with the world.

[oodlyenough]

oblig dual destinies post

i finished the base game of dual destinies today, as in, everything but the dlc case. but the dlc case i assume is kind of a, er, side adventure that won't change much about my opinion of the main narrative, so here we go. spoilers for the first 5 cases

well that wasn't very good was it

things i did like

number one top spot MVP honourable mention goes to aura blackquill. aura is a great character, extremely my type of character, and her story was pretty interesting. every time aura was on screen i was having a good time. i cannot believe they hid the best, canon ace attorney toxic yuri in its worst game (that i've played so far). obviously wish we saw more of aura, more of aurametis, and more of aura with athena, but what we did get was honestly pretty good and much, much more explicit than i ever expected this franchise to get. i am a dog being tricked into taking a pill because it was hidden in a spoon of peanut butter.

i also liked athena. i was predisposed to like her because all the major female characters in this franchise start with a buff for me, but i did think her over the top exuberant competitive go-getter attitude coupled with the PTSD flashback sprites were a pretty good combo. i think she was unequivocally the star of this game, and i think we should have played her for a lot more of it. her power is goofy as all hell and mood matrix isn't a great minigame, but, well, uh, it's dual destinies i have to adjust my expectations somewhere.

i like that phoenix got his badge back. i can critique all the ways it played out, because you can critique just about everything in this game to the moon(rock) and back, but like. fundamentally. i like this choice and i'm glad it happened. i also like that we got to see edgeworth and pearl and got a letter from maya. it seems obvious this is the franchise trying to course correct after a rough reception to aa4, but frankly i don't really care, because i do think aa4 fucked up there. i liked aa4 and i think it was a better game than this; i also think it's quite a bummer of a game and in many places a middle finger to fans of the trilogy, so, i'll take the olive branches DD is offering me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

fullbright started off annoying to me but i did warm to him. there's one bit in case 3 where he and athena just cheer "in justice we trust!!!" back and forth that made me laugh. i thought the idea of the big bad being the friendly cop was pretty good. more on that later.

turnabout academy was dumb as hell (affectionate) and i liked it and the npcs were mostly really fun and/or funny. i love you aa5 klavier you hot washed up mess. somehow dual destinies made me more invested in klavier than aa4 did.

things i did not like

where do i start

jk, actually, the first place to start is Why The Hell Can't I Play This Game. writing and characterization and everything aside, this game is SO disinterested in being a game. i can't click stuff. characters autonomously solve puzzles on my behalf without even giving me a second to think of them. the minigames are reduced. investigation days are dull because i can't click anything. it weakens the characterization of the player and the companion character because you don't get their inane chatter. characters don't react to evidence being presented in interesting ways.

the attention to detail and love that went in to so many facets of the trilogy that made it so beloved are just not present here. i don't know what the issue was, rushed dev time or what was going on, but the wrong corners were cut. i made a separate post aout this example because it's so galling: in 1-4 if you try to present the photo of gregory's body to edgeworth, you get custom dialogue where maya intervenes and tells phoenix off for trying to show miles his dead dad. in 5-5 if you present photos of aura's murder to athena she reacts with the same generic disinterest dialogue she gives every other piece of evidence.

the characterization of the returning characters, ie not the ones new to dual destinies like athena and co, is at best watered down and one-note, and at worst out of character. i said i was happy to see edgeworth, and i stand by that overall; but his behaviour in the trial in 5-5 is like madlib edgeworth dialogue, half-hearted fanfic rather than anything to convince you it's a character who lived through the trilogy. phoenix is dumbed down and it's particularly noticeable coming off of aa4, where NPC phoenix was a fucking galaxybrained 5D chess puppeteer who was always one step ahead of everyone, and now he's like, incapable of making basic deductions. all dual destinies phoenix knows is eat hot chip be bisexual and bluff. boring, weak writing. he barely even reacts to trucy being kidnapped. perhaps because trucy is no longer a character and instead is just one extended "teen girl says the word panties" joke.

apollo... lmao... i hate to say it but i don't think apollo should've been in this game. i think his fans would be right to say that he deserved a sequel and that was what was set up by aa4, but all he does in this game is compete for the spotlight with athena, and lose. athena's story is the main story of this game and it is hindered by the detours DD has to take to include apollo; apollo, meanwhile, doesn't even really get anything of substance. we see him mourn a friend we never met and go off on a sidequest we don't partake in. the rift between the WAA would be really interesting if they... wrote it better, or let it sit longer, or let any character react to it for longer than ten seconds.

which gets to the most frustrating thing about this game: there are a lot of pretty good ideas here, hidden under layers of uninteractive "gameplay" and clunky writing that misses its emotional beats. the dark age of the law is a hilarious term but the justice system in AA IS super mega fucked up and that's a fine subject for the game to tackle, until they start pretending it's somehow *new* and that for some reason a prosecutor being convicted of murder was the final straw (ignore all the OTHER prosecutors who were convicted of murder in the golden age). the finale case you can practically FEEL capcom breathing down its shoulder, desperate to right the ship of the IP, scrambling to put together pieces that worked in the past.

but despite athena's backstory being probably the most compelling part of the game, it's hard to shake the feeling that we're getting a remix of turnabout goodbyes, except, well, worse. and that feeling is exacerbated by phoenix and edgeworth, who lived that case, never having or expressing any feelings to suggest they ... lived that case. on paper, edgeworth prosecuting a child who killed a parent by mistake is really interesting! but DD doesn't do anything with it. i actually really like fullbright being the phantom, and if i hadn't been spoiled by fandom, i think i would've been surprised. but that twist is undermined by the reveal that actually the character we knew was ... um... an amorphous shapeshifting blob with no independent identity, there's no sense of real betrayal between him and blackquill bc he's not a real person and blackquill was lying about trusting him so like ... who cares...

in conclusion

i see a lot of the shared DNA with investigations 1, and i have a lot of the same complaints. fun new characters, albeit underwritten; disappointing characterization from returning characters; in aai i found the puzzles frustrating, whereas here they felt nonexistent. at least aai1 had really cute pixel art and let me click stuff, though. shrek meme they don't even have investigating.

i am saying aai1, because i haven't played aai2 yet, and fandom swears up and down it's way better. but i have to be honest. what are the odds that of the four ace attorney games this guy wrote, three of them suck and one is a banger... i guess i'll find out in september when the port comes out :P or maybe when i play SOJ next i'll love it too. stay tuned

[ryo-apologist]

Feathers and Ashes

Shigaraki Tomura x Reader x Keigo Takami

CW: Spoilers, but at this point, they aren't new. This isn't really headcanons or a story, just my thoughts on it. Depictions of toxic relationships.

AN: Okay. hear me out here- HEAR ME OUT. It's always Shigadabi this, Hotwings that, which yes. They are elite. They are delicious. But there's a whole market being missed on Shigahawks. Dusty feathers if you will. All I know is I want to be between them and no one is letting me without letting Dabi in too.

~Darling XOXO

☾ It doesn't matter what side of the war you're on. Not anymore. When entangled with a hero bred from a society crumbling beneath the weight of their owns sins of the very idea of heroism and the villain aiming to destroy it all with a simply touch of his fingers and leave it in smokey ruins, you don't get an opinion.

☾ Maybe you do, but it's biased. Hawks wants to preach that he's a hero, he's one of the good guys, but Keigo can't even believe that himself.

☾ How can he when he has the blood of someone who saw him as an ally still warm on his palms, seeping through his gloves and tainting his very soul. The one still flickering with the hope he had as a child.

☾ Hawks and Keigo are such interesting characters. I say 'and' because I personally view them as two different entities. Not in a split personality way, not, but as in Hawks is a mask that Keigo wears to protect his fragile little heart so no one can touch it. And if we chose to delve into his entire character, he's full of so much gray morality, truly I could write an essay on him and his entire motivations and how he's so much more than what the fandom devolves him too.

☾ Shigaraki Tomura on the other end of the spectrum is an individual so tainted and rocked by a past soaked in trauma thats never been addressed in a proper way that he's blind to positions that even slightly challenge his own. His rivalry with Stain back in season one (two? Idk it's been awhile.) set his character, and thus development, up in the way that told the audience he didn't like challenges to his authority in any way. The following fight against Overhaul confirmed this. There's a difference between the way he was characterized as childish, which he is, and the way his reactions played out to these challenges. With Overhaul, this entire thing showed that above all else, Shigaraki is strategic. He's incredibly intelligent when it comes to battle IQ and war fronts and has proven it. (Not with the USJ incident, but liken that to starting a game. You never know how to play first round, but play around a bit and learn the controls a bit better and you get better.)

☾ Now, why do I say all of this in a post about a threesome with crust one and two?

☾ It's important to know why I find this dynamic so interesting because these two as individual characters are interesting, but look at their parallels.

☾ We have two children, surrounded by broken homes, that need a way out. Their quirks give them that ability, but at what cost? The cost of gathering the attention of adults who know right from wrong, taking them in and indoctrinating them in all the wrong things while encouraging enforcing propaganda about ideologies that directly contradicted what they were preaching.

☾ Neither side is truthfully right, argue with the wall about that (I'm not saying they're justified in how they're handling the war, do not get me wrong about that), but Keigo and Tomura will be damned before giving up their spot in the war, and that is something so fun to play with.

☾ Alright, back to the fun stuff you clicked read more for.

☾ Your opinion? Doesn't matter. In fact, I would avoid that topic entirely between them. Hawks is willing to kill for what he believes in, may Jin rest in peace, but so is Shigaraki evidently.

☾ Keigo and Tomura, however, are willing to set aside their ideologies.

☾ Do not get the idea that this is a healthy relationship by any means. No. I do not believe that even in his darkest depths Shigaraki is capable of anything moderately healthy. In the same vein, I don't think Hawks is either. It's not feasible with their lifestyles, it's not feasible with their missions, it's not feasible with their characters.

☾ Shigaraki is infamously territorial and possessive. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. He wants what he claims is his, and he wants it now. He has the power to do so, he has the will, he will get what he wants.

☾ The only way I can see this happening is this: Hawks takes up a secret lover, how this happens is hard to say- pick your poison, I personally love them being a villain playing undercover hero and getting close, but that's me- and Shigaraki catches wind of this. Let's say we run with that idea, of the sweetheart being a villain of their own right, then they aren't affiliated with the league. Or maybe they are, I don't know. But Hawks and his villain sweetheart are running around, the former believing this is a villain trying to make a change and Keigo wants to help them, if a bit weary.

☾ And Shigaraki notices. Nothing big like the number two playing around with a villain goes on in the underground without him knowing. So he knows, and he doesn't know what the villain sweetheart is going after, but he wants in. He doesn't want anything opposing his rise to power, especially not some half-baked jack-off that thinks Hawks will save them.

☾ But then he meets them and maybe they aren't as bad as he hastily decided. He still doesn't like them, but he isn't going to dust them right away. They chat. Maybe they're threatened to fall under the League, or maybe they're willing to team up in exchange for something. Drugs, money, fire power, hard to say.

☾ But villain sweetheart refuses to give this up. Dabi fucked up with Hawks, he pulled the trigger pin far too early. But them? They have it locked down. Hawks is learning. It's subliminal, it's conditioning, it's something so small that Hawks only picks up on it when something in his routine changes to accommodate and by then it's too late.

☾ I think Hawks is honestly too smart for anything big, honestly he's probably too smart for any sort of manipulation.

☾ For the most part.

☾ Oh you thought I'd leave it at that? No. Think about the Dabi situation. He's down, he's vulnerable, he's been outed and now he's hated by the country. Hawks is dead. Keigo is yearning for something to grasp onto, to hold that won't crumble between his fingers like his hero career currently is.

☾ Now is the moment to strike. You have villain sweetheart offering up information about a mafia group they don't like, giving their information the benefit of the doubt and giving them the title of 'useable'. Not trustworthy, but the heroes take their plea for redemption with some merit.

☾ And Keigo clings to them the moment they offer any sort of apology, fake or not, for what happened, because it's an acknowledgement that he was wronged in some way shape or form.

☾ He's weary of being hurt again, but should villain sweetheart capitalize on this? Work their way deep into his shuddering and quivering heart and take post there? Manipulate the situation so that his focus shifts from hero politics to them?

☾ And then they team with Shigaraki?

☾ Keigo, not Hawks (Hawks is dead. He will remain that way. Keigo is running the show even if he's running it off a cliff), can be considered a guard dog. He's not trusted, fuck no, not at all, but he's defense. He's not trusted as offense, but canon fodder? Absolutely.

☾ If his villain sweetheart needs him, he's there.

☾ Shigaraki isn't happy, but he's too interested in villain sweetheart to let go. So what's the obvious solution?

☾ There isn't a good one. Hawks is, at this point, enamored in a relationship so dependent it's hilarious. He can't let go and he can't be alone, not again. He's done it as a child, he's done it as a hero, and he's hated it. he can't be alone. He can't, he can't, he can't.

☾ But there's a new toy in the toybox, a new piece on the board, and Shigaraki wants it. He needs it, no matter how useless it'll turn out to be. It's a piece the other side doesn't have. An uncontrolled, unpredictable, undocumented variable.

☾ To a degree, he knows what the heroes will do. He knows him and Deku will fight. He knows that. They, admittedly, know he'll do whatever it takes. They know he's going after their foundation built off of All Might and anything, especially Deku, to take it down and he's willing to take quirks to do so.

☾ But this new piece? No one knows what they want. They don't know who they're going after. They don't know what is driving them. And that, in a war, is dangerous. It can make or break either side.

☾ And Tomura Shigaraki wants them.

☾ Keigo has been proven as a non-threat to him. He's not dangerous anymore. He's been disarmed once, he has a blatant weakness to which they can exploit. So if he wants to cling to this variable then so be it. It's not on his radar.

☾ Anything Hawks can do to him, he can combat with his own quirk. He's not worried.

☾ Keigo is terrified. His quirk? We need to be so real. It's cool, yes, helpful, absolutely, but in the grand scheme? Not that combat oriented. He can't beat any of the big bad villain players unless their own quirk isn't combat based. Like Twice. Toga, I feel they are pretty evenly matched and will come down to something like swordsmanship and training. Dabi and Shigaraki? Not a chance. I hate to say it, I'm a Hawks baby fr, but being a Hawks person means I can admit he's only all that and a bag of chips because the commission pushed his image to be that.

☾ Anyway, Keigo? Terrified of losing his sweetheart. He's following them no matter what just trying to garner where they want to take this and how.

☾ So, where are we now?

☾ Keigo, with his hero persona long dead, is clinging to a villain who's using this to their advantage all while said villain is behind the scenes, working with one of the biggest players on the board currently. Said big player thinks this new piece is little more than a morsel of advantage over the other side, but this new piece has taken what is essential a bishop or knight (a piece that you never really think about until you're pinned by them) from the other side and converted them.

☾ Shigaraki is willing to ignore Hawks, but Keigo isn't willing to do the same. It's too risky for him, so he's right back where he swore he'd never go again into the lion's den.

☾ So it's a stalemate. Shigaraki isn't willing to let go, but neither is Keigo.

☾ It's a dynamic that is endlessly interesting to me and something I feel the fandom can explore. Dabi adds spice, but it's been beaten in every way with Shigaraki and Hawks and all three together. But he's got his share, Dabi's kicked to the curb for now. Let's explore these two as one pairing, because their dynamics are endlessly interesting with their parallels and their characters.

☾ I'm getting rambly so I'll end it there. I'm sure I'll write so much more about what I'm dubbing dusty feathers because I love them so much individually and can only imagine them as a pair.

[my-mt-heart]

Thoughts on TBOC 205

Aside from the premiere, this was the easiest episode for me to watch, but at the same time, the tone and the characterization feel...off. As usual, my thoughts are based on a one-time pirated watch. Also as usual, Melissa McBride crushes her performance. If only she had been given stronger material...

I mentioned in my 204 "review" that Daryl's and Carol's dynamic felt like that of a divorced couple and I'm still feeling that here. Daryl is clearly offended by the hypothetical idea of Carol telling Ash that he was her brother and insists that he be with Carol when she talks to him. Carol is clearly uncomfortable when a dancer gets too close to Daryl at the nightclub (side note: Carol's reaction to the nightclub has a lot of storytelling potential that Zabel instead uses to draw the male gaze. Unsurprising, but still disheartening). What does Caryl's "divorced" energy mean exactly? Nothing if Zabel doesn't pay it off and unfortunately I don't think he ever intends to. We need a new showrunner for that.

Daryl's surprised reaction to Sophia is just ridiculous to me. He's always been incredibly in tune with Carol's feelings—that's what makes them soulmates—and he just saw her struggling in front of a barn in the last episode. He really can't put the pieces together? And why is Daryl acting so far removed? As if Sophia isn't his trauma too? I'll talk about this more for 206, but I strongly dislike how Zabel tries build up to Daryl finally comforting her the way he should have immediately, and would have if he was in character. It's completely unnecessary and it robs the characters/audience of true emotional growth.

Carol notices a man on a bike that reminds her of the Daryl she watched ride away from the CW, like she's still searching for that Daryl, and it breaks my heart. She starts seeing Sophia too, but again, Daryl can't be there for her because he's preoccupied with thoughts of a child he's known for two months. Naturally Carol tries to be there for him, and at first he tells her he doesn't want to talk about it. Since when does Daryl not feel safe being vulnerable with Carol? Why is he so closed off? I can't wrap my head around it.

In typical Zabel fashion, Laurent is used as a mouthpiece to shove Isabelle's "love" for Daryl down the audience's throats despite the fact that Clemence never played it that way once. I really need the stooges and the supporting characters to stop projecting onto Daryl. They are all just wrong.

Carol listens to Daryl’s recording he made in S1 and I’m not sure what the point of it is since he already told her last episode that he was trying to get back to her. You know what would’ve been more interesting? If the recording revealed something new that the audience hasn’t heard yet and surprised Carol as well, like Daryl addressing her specifically, telling her how much he loved her.

When shots of the car scene cropped up in teasers, it was heavily speculated that Ash would die. I'm glad the scene subverted my expectations and actually tapped into some humor, but the whole thing also highlights Zabel's sloppy writing. How did this man survive the ZA this long if he can't even shut a door without hurting himself? And why, once he's fully conscious again, does he not comment on Daryl's and Carol's relationship? If Carol was willing to manipulate him just to find this other guy, what does that say about who Daryl is to Carol? Is Ash not suspicious or at the very least curious? It's another example of how TPTP try so hard to pull attention away from Caryl to the point where it's extremely frustrating and inorganic.

Another way tptb resist the undeniable chemistry between Caryl is by separating them. Daryl gets to do the cool action sequence while Carol is left behind to get yelled at by a man. Seeing the toxic dude bros rip Carol apart for lying to Ash has been difficult, and to be honest, it's the main reason why I could've done without that storyline. But I don't blame Carol for that. Zabel is the one who thinks manipulation is every woman's trademark, and as if that's not misogynistic enough, he takes every opportunity to punish Carol for it.

If there are any comparisons to be made between this season and S11 of the flagship show, they're in the penultimate and the finale episodes. Just like in S11, Carol is kept away from the main mission to essentially do busy work. I'm all for highlighting an emotional arc over mindless action, but not when it creates a power imbalance between two characters and two actors who are supposed to be leading this show together. It solidifies for me that Norman, Zabel, Nicotero, and Gimple are insecure about the show’s positioning. They need it to be Daryl's show while Carol is just a sidekick. They're all marking their territory for their own reasons. Melissa deserves so much better from Norman and so much better than the other three.

One more episode to go and thank fuck for that.

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Okay, Love Sea ep 1, finally!

This place is so pretty, I wanna go

Rak is going to this island to be a supermodel, I guess

Jfc Fort is so attractive, ugh

Did he just push that man overboard because of a pen?

Seriously, why is he so fancy?

Side note: I actually love that Rak looks expensive. It not only sells the "rich guy on vacation/fish out of water" thing, but it also places him apart from this tight knit island community and from casual tourists. It makes it clear that he's not comfortable in himself here, because he's dressing specifically to hold himself apart from the rest of them.

It also gives fun opportunities to see him relax through his wardrobe. Also, Peat is just really beautiful, and he wears it all so well

Rak is so grumpy 😆 I love rich bitch Peat already

The casual "I'm borrowing this" and Mut being zero percent fazed by Rak's bitchiness is so attractive and also immediately introduces and characterizes the setting and Mut both. Super well done

Baby those are not island shoes

I love that Mut clocked that Rak needed to be knocked down a peg and spoke so he couldn't understand him. He's establishing right off the bat that he's not intimidated or particularly impressed with Rak's attitude, and I love it. They're doing characterizations so well so far? Honestly really impressed to get this from Mame

The knocking a little tune on the window 🤣🤣🤣

Oh. I already don't like Vi. Like. A lot don't like her

JA IS HERE?!

A lovely surprise Ja!

Baby is stressed

I love that everyone who looks at Rak is like "this guy is sooo pretty". They're right and they should say it. Just look at him

This waiter is just like "oh, you know my friend? Let me tell you all his business (because you're his type, shh)"

Rak's momentary disappointment at the "women" part, and then his incredulous "that guy?!" when the waiter pointed out the guy who's staying because of Mut were incredible. Peat's acting is excellent here

I love that literally the whole island is just "that's our boy, isn't he wonderful!" about Mut. He deserves all that praise

"more like a cat, you'll know when you see him" Yep. That's like, 5 "Rak is a cat" references so far

35,000 bath is only like, $1000usd. I know money is different in Thailand than here, but idk if I'd put up with that grumpy man for a whole two weeks for that little

I was very concerned that this was going for some really gross colorism, and I'm very glad that it very quickly established that Rak is being made fun of for being an uptight rich jerk and projecting superiority all over the place

Rak: *seduction mode activated*

Mut: wow, where did all your hair go?

Thank goodness.

"don't you feel anything at all? I'm way hotter than that guy getting the bar!" Oh baby, this i didn't want you act is not fooling anybody

Rak just sent him another line, thousand dollars over breakfast. "You had me at 5k" 🤣🤣🤣

What a great fucking line

"Keep being arrogant and you'll hurt yourself". Mut is a king, actually

The caught punch and the "I can do more" while he laced their fingers was A Lot. Wow. These two do tension SO WELL

Oh I really don't like Vi

I feel like a lot of GL now is at where BL was a couple years ago. Which is to say a lot toxic. But this is a shitty way to introduce a character. Instantly unlikeable. "I'm going to be so shitty to you and use class politics to use you, but it's okay because I have a crush on you". I haaaaate it

Oh no, Fort looking at his hand and smiling softly is giving my PaiSky flashbacks and I'm gonna cry (I know someone made this side by side gif, please tag me)

What Mame book is Rak writing rn? 🤣

God Fort is so hot, how dare he (had a conversation with @hotasfahrenheit about how hot he is, and I've been informed that we get to see stretch marks at some point and that makes me feel crazy, actually? I love that he's visibly tan, I love that he has imperfections. He's so insanely attractive and it's so much hotter when he's a real person -- and not whitewashed)

Rak running around this boat like an excited puppy is adorable

And now, pouty time because he got yelled at for leaning too far over the edge 😆

Oh no

That hug and little kiss on the temple are going to haunt me. What a beautiful moment. And absolutely bonkers for two people who have known each other for five minutes

Their acting has really grown, I'm so proud of them

Are you hungry for clams or for me? Lol. The "hungry" metaphor for sex never fails in BL. Never miss an opportunity to make the joke

Ughhhh:

He's so beautiful what the fuck

Well. That was a hell of a first episode. Cannot wait for more

[escapetothelake]

Harvey and mr bat for the ship asks? :D (you don’t have to if you’re not comfortable)

ooh this is so silly!! thank you for giving me something to chew on >:) btw i will do any ship people throw at me, even if i don't like it (as long as i can reasonably write for it & it doesn't involve minors)

mr. bat and harvey have few spoken lines, so pls forgive me if my characterization doesn't align with urs. i also made them a little toxic 😐 if you want a healthy relationship portrayal, please specify!! hopefully this is still enjoyable though heehee

i'm going to try to keep this contained to rusty lake: hotel as that is the game in which they interact. also i’m using he/him for harvey

who made the first move: mr. bat was immediately aloof with harvey when the latter first got the job at the hotel. harvey was content with ignoring him, until he realized that he hated the feeling of being disliked so much. he made a point to talk to mr. bat everyday when he went to visit mr. owl, which mr. bat was not receptive to. then harvey thought to bring him food, thinking he would likely be hungry and tired after being on his feet all day. mr. bat took it wordlessly, but his eyes would flit back and forth between harvey and the snack as he ate. from them on, he gradually started to become more open and even friendly to harvey—especially when the bird had food.

who kissed who first: i’m trying to figure out the logistics of this lol. i could see mr. bat kissing harvey for bringing him something exceptionally tasty. later in this post i headcanon that harvey bathes to wash the blood off, and that when he doesn’t have immediate access to hot water, mr. bat becomes his co-conspirator. perhaps harvey is panicking because it doesn’t seem the water will be fixed for a while, and mr. bat sees this, and begins to apprehensively lick the blood off harvey’s feathers. then they’re both like 😳😳

who started the relationship: it kinda just. happened. and while harvey is jealous, mr. bat is possessive. he wanted things to be exclusive, and harvey agreed.

who remembers things: when one of them remembers something, the other usually doesn’t.

nicknames for each other: admittedly, i’m a little floored on this one lol. i think mr. bat would call harvey “dear”, and harvey would call mr. bat “my moth”.

who is more likely to pay for dinner: harvey all the way.

who normally cooks: another cop-out here, but mr. toad. harvey supplies food though (😉)—as he kind of serves as mr. owl’s errand boy—and mr. bat occasionally enjoys hunting for his own food. harvey doesn’t like flying insects all that much though.

who remembers anniversaries: mr. bat EXPECTS harvey to remember anniversaries. with all the stress he’s under, however, he doesn’t always.

what would they get each other for gifts: you know those lollipops with insects and scorpions and stuff in them? yeah, mr. bat loves those. he literally shrieks with delight when he gets one. harvey also once gave him an amber necklace with a moth inside, and mr. bat periodically gnaws/sucks on it like a teething necklace. mr. bat isn't really a gift-giver (he wants princess treatment 💅), but he likes hunting for insects and then dropping them in front of harvey like a dog with a rat it caught for you.

most trivial thing they fight over: literally anything lmao. these two fight like cats and dogs, and i will die on this hill. food is the most common topic; sure, harvey is a foodie, but doesn’t understand how mr. bat can place that much importance on it. sometimes, it’s like mr. bat cares more about food than harvey (who, as i said, gets jealous pretty easily. you’d think he would have learned to detach after all those years).

how often do they fight: all the time. so often. they are lowkey toxic 😳 mr. owl can expect to be woken up by some sort of petty squabble. it's not good for 'business', so he tells them to knock it off or lose their jobs.

who uses all the hot water: harvey—how else is he gonna wash all that blood off?

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: harvey panics when the heat isn’t working because it means that he can’t clean the blood off of himself. it’s actually how he and mr. bat ended up getting closer—harvey resorted to calling mr. bat for assistance, and he got it fixed for him. so in a way, mr. bat is his partner in crime :) the couple that slays together stays together

who leaves their stuff around: mr. bat has few material possessions, but what he does have, he hoards (particularly food). actually, harvey touching mr. bat’s stuff is another thing they used to fight over in the beginning of the relationship. harvey sometimes leaves bloody garments around, which mr. bat scolds him for. he won’t admit it, but he finds it a little endearing.

who remembers to buy the milk: mr. bat would remember that they need milk. he expects harvey to get it though. of course, it’s readily available in the kitchen of the hotel.

who controls the netflix queue: mr. bat NEEDS his netflix after a long day. DO NOT mess with his netflix queue 😡😡😡

who steals the covers at night: this isn’t really an issue! mr. bat sleeps on the ceiling, so if harvey wishes to use blankets, he has them all to himself. though it seems like he can easily change into his anthropomorphic form, so he sometimes does that and sleeps perched by the window. (side note ooh what if bird!harvey slept in a cage in mr. owl’s room)

who cusses more: mr. bat screeches, if that counts. sometimes their “shouting matches” are just mutual screeching in a sort of display of dominance. it drives mr. owl bananas 🍌 🍌

who does most of the cleaning: the hotel has waitstaff. harvey is responsible for cleaning up after himself (iykyk), but mr. bat has found that he enjoys helping out.

what’s their favorite non-sexual activity: i think that, as much as it annoys harvey, they both secretly enjoy arguing. beyond that, they like spending time together during the late hours. it’s after harvey has completed his kills and work hours are over that they can find solace with each other. they are at their calmest when mr. bat has a snack in hand, and harvey his favorite music playing without any stress.

who’s the cuddler: lowkey mr. bat, though harvey likes the attention.

who’s the big spoon/little spoon: mr. bat leans his head on harvey’s shoulder or chest, and harvey puts his head on top of his.

who’s more dominant: mr. bat is kind of a brat 😳 sometimes he winds harvey up so much that he just… snaps 😏

who is the dirty talker: mr. owl, scolding them for being bothersome to the guests again 😆 in reality, i think they see squabbling as dirty talk

what do they do when they’re away from each other: mr. bat has separation anxiety (not that he would admit it). harvey often has to leave to run errands for mr. owl, so it’s not uncommon that they’re apart. harvey tells himself he’ll enjoy finally getting some peace and quiet, but he starts to miss his partner after a little while. mr. bat catches up on sleep and pretends to be unbothered, but his job gets boring and he often finds himself thinking about harvey.

what would they do if the other one was hurt: i think they would both freak out, but they’re also mutually self-centered. for instance, if one of them has an incapacitating sickness that the other could catch, then the healthy one would likely consider that for a while before going to visit them. one time, though, mr. bat got sick with a flu, and harvey brought him stew that he’d made for him. of course, harvey spent too much time with mr. bat, and he caught the flu too. he was a little annoyed, but when a healthy mr. bat brought him moth soup that he’d made, harvey couldn’t stay mad, even if he doesn’t like moths all that much :) (for once, they would NOT let mr. toad cook—they wanted to make it themselves :))

a headcanon: after harvey fled the hotel upon being attacked by the corrupted souls, he didn’t return for a while, which upset and worried mr. bat, but he continued to do his job as usual. eventually, mr. owl relocated him to the cave, where he could stay more comfortably after his service, but be called back as needed. mr. owl tipped off harvey to mr. bat’s location, and they were reunited again. now, they don’t interact as much as they did while working the hotel, but they’re still co-workers with a little something extra :)