#and then... honestly self-justifying after that wears off

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is your friend sending you a romantic rejection when you genuinely just wanted to see a movie that looked cool and wanted to have someone to talk about it with. Leaving you puzzled and hurt on why your friend thinks you think of them like that knowing that they know that you know that theyre in a relationship. Leading to what's likely the end of your friendship

:/

.

[cathnospam]

Posttimeskip/Canon!Bakugo Katsuki NSFW Alphabet

Thanks for 100 follows :-P

(((Black girlfriend reader mentioned a few times, if you are not black or a girl you can obviously ignore it.)))

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

You were his first everything so with that you wanted to teach him just a few things like aftercare. However, Bakugo already had to down to a science. He didn’t like sleeping in sweat and cum so he’d offer you to take a shower while he puts new sheets on the bed and he joins you a little later. He noticed how thirsty you get after so he’d bring a water bottle and some juice/tea, maybe even a sweet snack if you don’t fall asleep too soon. A lot of this stuff was common sense except the cuddle part. It’s not like he didn’t want to hold you after it was just awkward for him. He just had you cross eye’d and crying on his dick now you him to be held and babied? But after some reassurance that you definitely do and you also wanted to make sure if you did good. “Of course you did dumbass you always do.” Is what he could huff out hearing such nonsense.

Post nut clarity Bakugo is softer, more touchier somehow and quiet. He’d much rather hear your yapping and he just responds with “Yeah.” “Of course” “No. dumbass” with a lot of kissing in between of course

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Yeah we all know he loves ass. He does, shamelessly so, smacking it while eating you out, smacking it when your back is faced him, patting it while you lay on his lap . But he loves your lips just as much. They’re like pillows, bouncy, and incredibly soft. It’s like a sweet flavor as well knowing you always have different types of lipgloss to wear.

I don’t think he is very particular of any part of his body, but since dating you, you love to talk about his back and arms, the way you hug him from behind or grab onto his arm walking through a crowd. More importantly how you scratch his back when he’s inside you and claw his shoulders when he keeps overstimulating you. It’s become partial motivation to his workout now.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Bakugo actually practices safe sex 90% of the time. He isn’t prepared to have any children yet and he doesn’t want any scares so he does at least buy the ULTRA thin condoms. However. The day you finally let him w/o a condom for his birthday he almost came faster than usual which actually made him upset LMAOO.

“What the—F-FFUCK!”

“Y-Y’ok—“

“I AM!…just…fuck this feel good.”

So he will cum in you or on your ass, and smack it with his dick because he seems clean but he’s such a dirty bastard at heart.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He doesn’t keep many secrets from you but the few are really only justified. The first one was that when you both were making out for the first time you grinded against his semi hard dick and he let out a soft moan in your mouth. You never pointed it out but it sounded so hot and it almost threw him off because he never made that noise before. After that, for the next few months before you both finally had sex he thought of that feeling alone to get off when masturbating. Not his finest moment but he couldn’t help it.

He likes when you pull his hair but you only did it once and he’ll be damned if he asks you to do it again. Do it again

Another one would be when you and him were just talking and not having sex yet he used to only watch porn where the people looked similar to you. So he’d sometimes type up Asian guy x black girl or some shit. He was actually using it to mentally prepare himself for when he does fuck you and it’s something he isn’t ready to ever tell you because he knows getting sex advice from porn is absolutely terrible.

Speaking of getting prepared he also asked Kiri for some advice on how to eat you out. Bakugo used to watch a lot of oral sex videos and honestly he really was most nervous about that part, he’s aware he wasn’t the best kisser at first and the last thing he wanted to do was bite you or something so he simply asked his best friend that loss his virginity before him the question: “Where is the clit?”

He swore Kiri to secrecy to never speak of that conversation again after that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

A virgin up until he dated you. Like I said you’re his first everything so teaching him was actually something you were expected to do, however his pride always got the best of him so when you corrected him he’d always get pissy.

“My clit is here—“

“I fucking know that.”

So instead of verbally telling him what to do you you showed him with your body, moaning louder when he hits or licks the right spot, praising him when he uses the right move. He caught onto this quick and by the time it was the 2nd round he was damn near perfect

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

A lot of people say backshots but I personally think Lotus and honorable mention is missionary Hear me out: Bakugo gives vanilla. He just does he doesn’t need all the special positions and areas to fuck he just wants you, him, and a comfortable surface preferably a bed or couch. He doesn’t want to be perceived as some sex freak or anything he is very simple when it comes to sex. Mostly because he’s so shy but won’t admit it.

The Lotus Position is something that actually overwhelms him in the best way possible. Your foreheads touching, your breast pushed up against his as he assist your push to keep grinding and bouncing against him, FUCK does he love the noises you make in his ear when you’re close too, biting him as you cum. He kisses you a lot too to swallow some of your sounds. How your hands creep onto his neck moaning his name. Plus he is squeezing your ass as you both move in sync. He loves it.

Missionary is almost a ties in because he feels he has the most control. Yeah he can be soft but he still loves to be in charge. He likes the intimacy that comes with these positions so best believe it’s a go to.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Unintentionally. He has always been so funny to you, but he likes it believe he is serious during sex. Yet you can’t help but giggle when he makes a comment about blaming you for making him get so close to cumming.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He has a visible happy trail. Doesn’t grow much so he never needs to trim it, he was going to cut it off the day after you had sex with him the first time and you were able to stop him. Bakugo wanted to make his pelvic area smooth for you because he was worried his hair was itchy to you, once you explained it felt good to feel it on your pussy when he fucked you he haven’t touched it since.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Well….he can try. You can tell when he tries but bless his heart he is so damn aggressive on accident. He once tried to give you a massage but his own sweat mixed with the oil cause his hand to slip so much to the point he got mad and pop a small explosion on your lower back.

You still have the small burn mark and laugh at it from time to time. He doesn’t laugh though he regrets it a lot.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He masturbates…often. He has for years and even after graduating high school he only did it every other day or week when he was really tense or couldn’t sleep. But ever since he got with you it stopped.

Because you do it for him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He’d tell you he doesn’t have any. Which is half true.

He is pretty vanilla, BUT from the last few times you tried something new you noticed he enjoyed a couple things:

Overstimulation is always fun, he used to do it on accident. Now, it’s almost expected to happen after oral or penetrative sex. Something about that second orgasm really puts him in a whole ‘ other cloud 9 he can’t even explain. It’s the rarest times he’s ever selfish with you sexually.

Praise Kink 100000%. It’s so funny to see the frustrated look on his face of focusing to not cum when you’re in his ear telling him how amazing he is and how nobody else could make you feel this way. Gets him hard every time.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He does enjoy the bed, but he has a huge couch in his dorm, he ate you out a few times during a movie and it led to you on top riding him. It felt so cozy falling asleep after that now 90% of the movie nights y’all have in his dorm leads to something not so wholesome.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You.

Your reactions, your twitches, your moans, the way you say his name it all drives him more to keep going and practicing to get better for you. He absolutely loses his MIND the way you cry out for him too.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He will not ever do anything like humiliation or too much violence like slapping your face. He knows he can be abrasive as it is on accident and even the thought of going to far and harming you would possibly cause him to take a pause on sex no matter how much he loves it

I am 50/50 on somno. I believe he wants you alert to what he’s doing to you for his own peace of mind. But he wouldn’t be opposed to him waking up to YOU touching him.

He’s not a big fan of “daddy”, he won’t stop what he’s doing but he’d rather hear his name or “baby” or even a nickname you made out of his name.

You will not peg him. He is very sensitive about his ass.

No threesomes or anybody watching. Call him selfish, but your body is his in his mind so he’d prefer if nobody sees what you have only blessed him with.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

LOVES giving. Way more than he will admit, there has been days where he’d finish sparring with someone and to release the stress he had from Deku almost beating his ass again he came to your dorm and offered to lay between your thighs as you studied.

You didn’t get much studying done.

He’s improved on his skill too. However he’s constantly messy, it’s not just kitten licks with this man he sucks and fingers and even nibbles on you like he’ll never eat you again. It’s almost selfish.

He loves the feel of your pussy against his tongue, he doesn’t taste much. If you were to ask him what you taste like he would say nothing, really but the warm, slimy slick just does something to him. If he could he’d eat you for hours

Now that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love seeing you gag and swallow his dick absolutely not. When you both started getting more physical you actually sucked his dick quite often (since he was afraid to eat you out at the time) he would actually anticipate on it whenever you both were alone so he’d keep his sweats incredibly low to his waist on purpose

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Bakugo an intense guy so he starts off slow and his touches gradually turn more focused towards your reactions. He’s consistently looking into your eyes with every noise you make, each thrust is deep and nearly knocks the wind out of you. It’s not until he’s close he begins to chase that high, breathing into your mouth, circling your clit w his fingers, and going faster with slightly shallow thrusts.

He’s a big kisser btw so be prepared for little to no air because if he’s not kissing your low lips he’s kissing your upper lips with each thrust swallowing your cries

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Hates em.

The idea is always fun to him but when he realizes he has to stop right when he’s getting started he hates it. He wants to take his time. He probably enjoys foreplay the most which is why he can’t stand having to make it short.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Bakugo is pretty stubborn and doesn’t like too much change but if you’re willing to reassure him about what you want he may consider. It can’t be any of the no though.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Man can last a while. He can even if he’s sensitive, but he can last EVEN LONGER in between breaks. Just as long as you cock warm him. An average night of sex with him is usually 30-35 minutes, but including foreplay is actually an all day thing. Foreplay can start from the moment you wake up and he’s kissing you good morning all the way to that evening when you both are showering together and his fingers are creeping between your thighs

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Doesn’t understand toys but if you’re willing pick like a vibrator he wouldn’t mind it. You just can’t use it too much, he has read those things can fuck up your sensitivity and he’ll be DAMNED if he loses to a TOY

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Bakugo actually wasn’t that much of a teaser until you brought it out of him. When he went down on your once he kept kissing and biting your thighs for WAY too long that you began to whine his name. Once he heard that pretty little “please” slip through your tongue something just snapped. He loves to hear you beg now so occasionally he’ll edge you or tease you a bit before giving you what you want.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not that loud. A few mumbles of your name and a couple groans is the most you’ll get because he wants to hear you more. When he’s close he’ll begin to say a few “cum with me” “cum for me’s” which is so hot to hear since his voice breaks when he’s cumming

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He learned sign language through out the years after finding out his hearing was becoming worse and he taught you as well. Now you both communicate in public through SL, and a few times he said the nastiest shit to you across the room during a lecture.

Bonus: He’s a big Pokémon nerd. Loves Gengar, Charizard, and Growlithe.

Bonus two: He has a secret tattoo he got when he turned 21

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Bakugo is a more length than girth guy. He’s a shower and cut. About 7.8ish inches and it curves to the left. He also had a beauty mark on the left side of his shaft and pelvic area.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Y’all have sex about 4-5 times a week. If yall miss a week spike it up to 6 because he needs to release some stress

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

You fall asleep before him so after taking care of you and cleaning you up he usually waits until you’re sleep and follows suit. Sometimes when you’re still yapping and he’s ready to go to bed he’ll gently fan your eyelids to close with his fingers. Somehow it works everytime and you slowly stop talking a dm cuddle in his chest.

[prongsfish]

@croptopjames / 1,015 words / happy bday jfp <3 - nsfw but fades to black

Regulus thought he might die, honestly.

This couldn’t be allowed. It was surely against the rules. Regulus wasn’t exactly sure what rules he was referring to (Laws against public indecency, maybe?), but somebody had to stop James Potter.

He knew exactly what he was doing, too. Chest puffed out, arms crossed, and leaning against the wall, all while idly rolling his wrist, the red cup in his hand moving in circles. Regulus couldn’t see into the cup, but assuming it wasn’t yet empty of beer, he thought the liquid sloshing around inside was likely reminiscent of the feeling inside his stomach. His smile too, of course, betrayed his self-satisfaction. The glint in his eyes said that he knew just how much he was affecting the other party-goers.

Regulus huffed over the man’s ridiculously large ego and tried not to think about how, at that moment, he was the perfect example to prove it justified.

And he definitely wasn’t thinking about the strip of brown skin between the top of his jeans and the hem of his shirt, which was much too small for him. The skin that was covered by it was only barely less inappropriate as he may as well have not been wearing a shirt at all with how tightly it clung to the contours of his defined torso.

He looks ridiculous, Regulus thought, like he’s wearing a kid’s t-shirt. He ignored the contrasting reaction his body seemed to be insisting on, but still couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes away.

“Jesus Christ, mate, try not to drool,” Barty said from beside him. Regulus scowled but didn’t so much as glance over at him, despite having no clue when he got there. “I’ve seriously never seen you look this desperate. I’m a bit worried you’ll combust.”

“Shut up.” He replied through gritted teeth. Barty just sighed and pet him roughly on the back.

“Alright, whatever, I’m gonna go see if Dorcas has found anything stronger to drink yet. Have fun with your ogling.”

Regulus didn’t bother answering, instead taking a sip of the drink he’d been nursing for a while by then. He wasn’t exactly sure what was in it, but Pandora made it, so he wasn’t worried. Any other of his friends and he wouldn’t have dared touch it.

James had been talking to people most of the night and had only been on his own like that for a few minutes. Regulus watched him as he watched everyone else, had been watching him all night, really, but appreciated that he was standing still now. He swore that the man couldn’t stay in one spot for more than thirty seconds.

He didn't know why he felt caught out, then, when James' eyes finally wandered over to him, smirk widening to find Regulus’ eyes already trained intently on him. He wasn’t exactly being subtle, and James had been watching all around the room, of course he’d look his way eventually. If his brain hadn’t been occupied with… other details and he’d thought about it, he would’ve expected it.

He wouldn’t have expected James to then push off the wall and start walking towards him, though.

“Hey Reg,” He said once he was close enough to be heard over the music blasting around them. God, he looked so full of himself. Disgustingly pleased. It made Regulus’ blood burn.

“Potter,” Regulus raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t take that tone with me after I caught you staring.” James wasn’t that much taller than Regulus, but the handful of inches between them meant he looked down at him when they spoke. It definitely did not make Regulus’ stomach flood with butterflies.

“I was simply astounded by your ridiculous attire. I don’t quite know what you were going for there, but it’s a bit of a train wreck.”

“Y’know it’s useless lying to me, baby. It’s written all over your face what you’re really thinking.” God, his voice was good. Deeper than usual, and thick and sweet as syrup. Did he just call him baby?

“And what exactly, would you say, I’m thinking?” Regulus narrowed his eyes, staring directly into James’ own.

James' free hand lifted to rest lightly on Regulus’ hip, just grazing the side of his waist. He tried to hide the way he sucked in a breath, but James’ grin told him he was unsuccessful.

“Similar to what I am, surely.”

Regulus swallowed hard. He wouldn’t give in this easily. “What would Sirius think about you touching his little brother like this, hm?”

James just exhaled a laugh. “Sirius isn’t here right now.” His grip tightened slightly as he leaned forward to murmur only inches away from his face and Regulus couldn’t resist how his eyes snapped down to watch how muscles both covered and uncovered by his shirt shifted. “Don’t change the subject.”

Alright, maybe Regulus would give in that easily.

He swayed forward, suddenly, hands moving up to cup his face and pulling him into a kiss. James’ lips reacted quickly, moving against his own, and his arm shifted around his waist to place his palm on his back. James’ tongue slid against Regulus’ lips and he opened them without hesitation, groaning into his mouth as they hurried to escalate. The sound seemed to spur James on some more, and he started walking them both away, speaking words at a time between devouring Regulus’ mouth with his own. “C’mon, baby, the- fuck- bathroom, this way.”

Normally, Regulus would've challenged his assumption he’d follow him into the bathroom, but this time he only nodded quickly and let James lead him away. Barty was right, he was acting like some common fucking whore. At this rate, if they hadn’t moved into the bathroom, James pushing him against the wall as soon as they were in, they really would’ve been at risk of trouble for public indecency.

As James' mouth left his, moving to trail hot kisses down his body as Regulus writhed above him, all he managed to get out between quiet gasps and moans was “Whatever you do, just, keep- ah-, the shirt, on.”

[themadlu]

Do Not Open That Door

Astarion is sure his leader's unflinching morals will lead him to another unwanted grave. He is also sure she is putting on an act because people like her do not exist, clearly. He decides to test his assumptions.

TW: None I think

WC: ~3000 words

Tagging: @spacebarbarianweird for the encouragement!

Astarion is livid. Well, maybe livid was an overstatement—he is annoyed. Annoyed and confused. Such feelings are still a vast improvement over the fear and shame he's been accustomed to, but they make him restless nonetheless. 

Especially because their cause is walking steadily next to him without a care in the world for his inner turmoil. 

Zélie, their oh so great leader, has managed to spoil what could have been a perfectly enjoyable afternoon on multiple fronts. First, she decides to talk to the goblins ambushing them instead of treating them like the savages they are.

(“We don’t know how many of them are in this village Astarion. What if there’s a little army and we’re outnumbered?”)

After confirmation that there were, in fact, quite a few goblins (and a couple orcs to boot), she managed to get free passage through the village by leveraging their wriggly alien parasite. He isn’t happy about it. Not at all. 

He has to begrudgingly admit hers was a wise call after witnessing just how large and hungry those orcs were. And of course they even agree to help a fellow true soul in need. Just what he needs to undermine what little influence he has on her.

(Her blood is in his body after all.)

In the last tendays she had made it her mission to remind him how despicable murder is, under most circumstances, aside from self-defence. This beautifully idiotic mindset of hers almost got her killed twice in front of his very eyes.

(She doesn’t know he has taken to finish off the enemies she leaves unconscious while she isn’t watching.)

When he had pointed out the suicidal flaw in her morals, she had given him her signature scolding look, crossed her arms, and started breathing in that funny way of hers. 

In, hold, out. 

(She says she is not trained as a monk, but he’ll be even more damned than he already is if that is true. The way she fights and holds herself—and those sickening ideals she has—tell a different story.) 

“Honestly, darling,” he hisses at her as they walk through the village, squinty eyes trained on their every move. “I thought we agreed that benevolence and honour,” he spits the words out like a curse, “get you nowhere but to an early grave.”

“Astarion,” she always says his name when she speaks to him—even in annoyance— and he hates his constant surprise at hearing it. His elven name had been replaced with other titles over time, more befitting of his status—boy, spawn, whore, slut, beautiful, toy, love…

Truly, it’s a small miracle he managed to hold on to his name. It’s one of the few things left that are truly his, yet hearing it spoken from that solemn woman's lips makes something in his chest preen. 

“I thought we agreed to disagree on that front. No, don’t give me that look. Killing someone is never justifiable. No matter what we tell ourselves, we are taking away something that wasn’t ours to begin with. Something irreplaceable. Even—” she held up her hand as he started to complain, “in self-defence, even then, I will make sure to exhaust all alternatives, and even then, it will be a failure on my part.”

You moron. 

“Too bad the rest of the world doesn’t think like you, darling,” he snapped. Hers was an act. There was no way in the hells anyone could survive to their…whatever age she was, he was never good with human lifespans, with that mindset. It was ridiculous, because if she actually was like that—if two–hundred years of shit didn’t teach him better—she should either be dead in a ditch or have ascended to godhood on her saintly behaviour alone. The only explanation he has for her standing close to him is that the mask she wears is as fake as his own. That, or she is a child of Ilmater. He bets on the former, given her complete ignorance of any deity on Toril.

“But you lied,” he counters, snapping his fingers. “You said we are here on Absolute business. Doesn’t that go against your precious code of honour?” he singsongs in her ear. 

“I didn’t lie. My tadpole reacted to theirs, and they drew their own conclusions. Technically, we are going to their camp on Absolute business too, if you count removing these,” she tapped her index to her temple. 

He smirks, victorious. “Circumstantial. One day, the tadpole won’t do the work for us and you’ll break your own code or doom us to death. For one, I’d rather not repeat the experience,” he says in a quiet voice, pointing at his chest. 

Their companions are still unaware of his condition—another occasion his holy leader conveniently withheld information. 

(“It’s your secret, it’s your decision.” Hypocrite.)

“Astarion, I know you take me for a fool, and I would normally pay more respect to a man—elf—my senior by centuries, but really. I can be practical and have a moral compass, and that means that when the choice is between lying and killing, I will pick lying any day, even if I don’t like it.” 

Enough. 

Her words incense him, annoyance suddenly turns into rage and something else—what’s that, envy?—he pivots on his left heel and closes the distance between them so fast she has no time to react. Zélie is left pinned to the wall, their bodies a breath away from touching, and he internally celebrates the surprised look on her face. 

He stares at her down his nose, ducking his head and planting a slender hand on the wall beside her head. 

Astarion has to make her stop before he tears her self-righteousness out of her throat. Before she realises how useless it all is—how useless and tainted he is—and either stakes him or banishes him. Because even her sickly, do-gooding self, fake or real it be, must have limits. If he pushes hard enough, they’ll crumble, and then he’ll be proven right. She is not what she says she is because creatures like that aren’t real.  

“Let’s make one thing clear, darling,” he growls, nostrils flaring, “you may be our great leader, but you should get off your high horse before someone shoots you off it. I don’t know what perfect little corner of the universe you grew up in, but you know nothing of this world and its dangers.” 

He flashes his fangs at her to drive his point across. The others are out of sight, looking for supplies in some ruin or cellar. Gods, he misses the city. 

Zélie is staring back at him, bristling, but lets him continue. She never interrupts any of them, not even him.

“I thought humans were all about developing and living fast, but you, my dear, are as ignorant as a babe. I am trying to make sure we keep our collective hides safe and do not get sidetracked by other pitiful creatures on our path.” 

He realises just how close he is to her when she straightens up again and their noses almost touch. 

Pale eyes go darker with a flash of anger. 

There. Come at me. Prove me right. 

“Spoken like a true man of the law, lord magistrate.” 

Why the hells is her tone so collected when she has a literal vampire at her throat?!

“You seem forgetful, so I’ll remind you that it was my ignorance that stopped Shadowheart from connecting her mace with your head. And it was my stupidity that convinced her you could join us, and that we should give you a chance at trust.” 

She makes no move to get closer, but he recoils as if scorched by fire. 

“And it is the same trust I placed in you yesterday when I let you bite me, even though it’s not how I envisioned a night of rest to go. I trusted you to stop, I trusted you to keep your word and not leave me a corpse.”

There it is. Reminding him of what he owes her. Of his debts. They say the quiet ones are the most depraved, and she is the strong and silent type. But he is nothing if not an expert in the art of subservience at this point, and if it gets her to keep giving him blood and protection—

“I trust you.” 

Then you’re doomed.

She says it as if it were a challenge. Her gaze is unwavering and he is left speechless yet again. Cazador would admire this quality of hers.

“I hope you can trust me in return.”

Impossible woman. 

“Well, I suppose you’re not wholly incompetent,” he manages to croak out. His nonchalant mask is harder to slip on this time. 

She huffs a breath of a laugh, a tiny thing, but it’s enough to transform her whole face. The weight she carries on her deceivingly flimsy shoulders seems to lift, leaving behind a young woman smiling softly at a…well, a monster. Talk about inexperience. 

Happiness suits you, little leader. 

The fact it’s his prattling that caused this marvel of a transformation stokes something in chest and in the pit of his stomach that he promptly pushes down. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Zélie says. She moves away and he is left staring at the crusty wall. Her body never touched his own during their exchange. 

Wait. That’s wrong. He was meant to make her see the reason in his ways, not the other way around. So why is he at her heels like a lost puppy the minute she walks away? 

(“You are nothing by yourself boy. You owe everything to me.”)

He is weak. So weak he has leashed himself to a human who can barely read common, fuck's sake. 

His temper rises again once he catches up with Zélie. He doesn’t need her condescension, nor her chiding (she doesn’t even know his full story yet, nor she ever will unless absolutely necessary, so pity isn’t there yet). He’ll show the wretched woman how wrong she is. 

Karlach and Lae’zel jog behind them as they reach a barn with a door locked shut. Zélie thinks nothing of it at first, but Astarion can smell what’s inside.

(His senses born anew from her blood.)

He smells the ogre and bugbear and their horrid affair before the rest of his companions hear the grunts and noises.

“Oh God, someone’s fighting!” exclaims Zélie.

Fighting, you say?

An idea strikes him. 

See what your misplaced goodness gets you when you try to help an ogre.

“I don’t know soldier, they don’t sound like fight noises to me,” says Karlach leaning towards the barn, but even she seems unsure. Astarion’s talents may be limited to a specific area, but in this case it works in his favour. He is very familiar with what those sounds mean. The half-ogres that fucked him into the bed so hard he bled were not so different.

(He still remembers how much it hurt, how he was left in a puddle of mixed releases, sweat, and what little blood he had).

“Well, even if they are fighting, it is clearly not our problem. I say we leave them to it and focus on what’s really important,” he says, using his annoyance as a hook. Zélie may be the most restrained person he’s come across, but he knows how to read people, and he knows she will do the opposite of whatever he says when it concerns morals. 

She falls for it. His smile is harder to suppress.

“Astarion! We’ve just talked about this!” 

Her voice raises a bit, but it’s almost eclipsed by another loud grunt from inside the barn. 

“So long as my blade can be sharpened on my enemies’ bones, I am ready.” Lae’zel is almost as ignorant as Zélie when it comes to their world, which is usually a hindrance, but now it’s the push their little leader needs to run to the rescue. 

Zélie tries to open the barn door (after cutting another withering look at the vampire lazily strolling at her back), finding it jammed.

The crescendo of grunts and bangs coming from inside is extremely loud now. 

Gods, they must be disgusting. 

“Hello?! Help is on the way, hang on!” the little human shouts as she frantically tries to get the door unstuck. 

“Oh hells, let me do it, darling, before we turn into tentacled freaks,” Astarion says in mock-annoyance. She eyes him suspiciously and he shoots her a winning smile. His nimble hands make quick work of the lock, and he pushes the door open. 

He needs just a peek to know his assumption about what was happening in the barn is correct, and turns to face his now horror-stricken companion. 

“Gods, they are disgusting,” he comments with his lips crooked in a satisfied smile. 

Zélie scrambles to compose herself and turns her back from the scene (the prudish) as she fails to find words to explain herself. “I—I am, I apologise, we thought—”

Oh, she’s in a state. Her cheeks flush redder than rubies (he can practically hear her delicious blood pooling there), whilst the rest of her is paler than after Astarion’s feeding. She opens and shuts her eyes as if trying to physically erase what she just witnessed.

The bugbear slides his now soft cock out of the ogre, and looks at them in rage.

“W–what the hells are you doing?!”

Oh, Astarion is thrilled. He doesn’t remember when last had such fun. He hears Lae’zel’s tsk’ and Karlach’s gags behind him, and he closely watches Zélie fumbling as he didn’t think was possible. 

“Apologies! I, you—you were making a lot of noise and I, we, thought you needed help,” she holds her hands in front of her in a peace offering. “I apologise for the intrusion! We’ll leave now—”

“Ruined! SMASH. I’ll smash you!” 

Oh. Astarion didn’t expect that. He just wanted to show Zélie how ungrateful the world is to idiots like her, not have her turn into orc food. 

Before he can think, he is tackling the woman to the ground, the orc’s club crashing a few spaces to his left. Karlach and Lae’zel’s throw themselves at the aggressor, and the fight starts in earnest. Astarion is more a stalker than a fighter, but he had his first fill of human blood only hours before, and his senses have never been that sharp, so he doesn’t miss the bugbear rushing towards their prone form. 

Daggers at hand, he braces to parry the onslaught (this may hurt) when his worldview shifts, his back in on the ground, and chilly afternoon air replaces the heat of his leader on his chest. 

What just happened?

He turns his head to see the bugbear crashing to the ground, Zélie crouched on one leg and tripping him with her other. “Go help the others! I’ve got this!” she shouts, as she wraps her limbs around the assailant in a tight bind. “Wait! It was an honest mistake—”

He doesn’t want to hear her voice now. Doesn’t want to think how the little moron literally threw him away from danger. Even worse, he will refute the idea he protected her from an angry orc till his last breath. He only got his body back recently. That’s it. He still is unsure of how to use it. 

And she's dinner.

He doesn’t want to dwell on what happened, so he nods and throws himself at the female orc while she is distracted by his companions. 

The fight doesn’t last too long after that, and something takes a hold of his insides when he looks at Zélie. She is silent, staring at the large corpse on the ground, bugbear knocked out at her feet. 

“Darling?” He moves towards her and the sadness in her eyes almost makes him apologise. Gods, what has he done? He didn’t think this was going to happen. And why does he care?! This was his intent, this and seeing the real her behind the strong, polite facade. 

“I just wanted to help.”

“I know, darling. I—”

See now, how impossible it is to keep your ideals in this world?

“You knew,” she says, and while he words his excuses (the only real one being he didn’t think they were going to be attacked) her shoulders drop and a defeated huff leaves her mouth. A far cry from her happy smile earlier. 

Astarion can’t wrap his head around how he caused both reactions in such a short span of time. But this look on her, this, he knows. He has seen far worse in the eyes and screams of those fools he lured back to his master, once they had his way with him and realised a bit too late they were as trapped as he was. 

He expects her to shout, to berate him, kick him, punch him, stab him, banish him—but none of that comes. Zélie studies him intently, and something in her demeanour lights up, an internal judgement made.

“I still trust you.” 

No. No no no, he’s not going to let her fool him into believing this—no!

Her face is suddenly level with Astarion’s knees, the now-awake bugbear readying a strike. 

Astarion doesn’t need to think—he falls forward and sinks his dagger into the wretch’s neck. Blood spurts out, but after tasting Zélie’s Astarion has no interest in it; mud compared to a clear sky.

“Soldier!” shouts Karlach, ever the helpful friend. Zélie pants as the dead attacker slides off of her, eye to eye with Astarion again. He can feel her light breath on his face. Karlach pulls her up; he is cleaning his dagger on the bugbear’s clothes when an outstretched hand enters his vision. Hers.

“Come on,” she says, tired but steady again. “Let’s get back to camp.”

Astarion flinches from the hand as if it were a trap (it is always a trap), but Zélie is new territory for him, that much he begrudgingly accepts. She is apparently above the rules of their miserable world because she chooses to trust him, a vampire, a lying one, again. 

He takes her hand, bracing for what may come his way, but she just helps him up. 

“Thank you, by the way. For saving my life before.”

It’s a trick. It’s a trick. Don’t fall for—

She wraps her hand around his so delicately he thinks he may break, and shakes it. His thoughts and words are silenced yet again. 

“Thank you.” 

Fuck. 

[lil-gae-disaster]

So. How exactly is Jonathan doing during the spy mission? I really need a nickname for him

He's not doing too great! :D

He's missing Freddie a lot, plus at the same time he's kinda glad Freddie ls away so that he could consider a response to an inevitable rejection. Which is kinda freaking his tentmates out since he's muttering to himself.

He's also very lonely, so he might start socializing after putting it off for very long since he didn't need to, in his opinion (Jonathan tends to keep his social circles rather small out of paranoia he might accidentally be neglecting the friendship with one of them)

He also lost his (signature) braid since he doesn't wanna bother people ("You're just wasting my wifes time with your senseless requests, boy!")

He's also starting to recieve letters from Annabelle and his father again, talking about how irresponsible his running away was (they finally managed to locate him to sent him berate-letters) so there's that....

Honestly I think he'd start getting closer to either Cathy or Giles, or trying to get closer, and just whining about everything that's been going on. After they left that awkward stage of "what should I say...?"

I mean the three could certainly bond over awful fathers.

He's also shivering a lot since mah boy was living in a hot blacksmith for the past years and he had his (high quality) cloak (which he stole from his father when he ran away btw) which he gave Freddie because "you can't die on my due to hypothermia" so he might start asking around if anyone has a spare and he also starts to wear his coat more often than in the other seasons

All in all he has very much a self doubt era where he's constantly overthinking if Freddie would follow Hammy and commit treason and stay with the rebels or if Freddie hates him now of if Freddie might not want to at least be his friend anymore and-

Plus he's starting to have a lot of regrets. Most of them aren't justified though.

Like, it was completely reasonable to leave before he trapped Annabelle in an unhappy marriage and it was also completely reasonable to leave a letter of explanation and it was also completely reasonable to kiss and confess to Freddie

But Jonathan doesn't know that

So he's just kinda drowning in self doubt and spiraling thoughts without an anchor to hold onto because he didn't even talk properly with other soldiers because "why should he? Freddie will always be with me and he's the only one who needs to know me" (bro is lowkey scared of forming new relationships - even when platonic)

Well

Now Freddie isn't here and Jonathan is hanging on by a thread.

(Meanwhile Freddie and Joseph are about to start strangling each other before the argument™️)

[ @hamalicious-soup @papers-pamphlet @marsfingershurt @paradox-complex @half-eaten-baguetteee ]

[journeyman-tier-fibercraft]

Been busy enough to justify a full round up for this WIP Wednesday. The TL;DR being that I'm back to being fully lace brained.

Blanket 10 is NEARLY finished. I've started attaching the last row and just need to finish out this row and then do a border (and give him a good wash, I've owned some of this yarn for years and it smells a little dusty). The nights are starting to get really cold here so I'll be happy to have it done, I just gotta force myself to work on it.

Doily 14 (Yarn | Pattern) needs to go on a longer needle but other than that is very fun and cute. I've decided to put it down for a bit to work on the next two projects but I expect when they get boring I'll go back to this. This pattern is surprisingly simple for a Neibling as long as you're prepared for the long pattern rows. Absolutely going to have to break out the washi tape to mark off my rows for the second chart, but the first one has been very easy lace knitting.

Unnamed project aka me fucking around to see if I can freehand this sweater design. I had started with a two row lace ("Honeycomb lace" from A Second Treasury of Knitting Patterns by Barbara G Walker) but honestly didn't find it fun to knit. So I transitioned to a favourite of mine (ssk, k2tog, yo twice). It's going a lot faster now tho it looks a little weird. I'm going to knit to the underarm and if it fits, it stays. If it's too small I'll rip all the way back and redo the shaping in this lace pattern instead with longer shoulder saddles. It's unfortunate that I didn't like knitting the honeycomb lace, I really like how it looks, I'll have to try swatching it in different yarns to see if the problem is just that this yarn has zero stretch (100% cotton).

I have decided I will put short sleeves on this tho. I had planned to just add ribbing for the arms but I saw a drop shoulder vest in a similar style and did Not like it, so this just saves me from having to rip back. I also think I'm going to have to leave this cropped, I'm not a big crop top person but with this yarn being cotton, having a full length body along with the sleeves is going to have the neckline very stretched. There may be no helping it regardless but there's no harm in trying. I imagine if this is does become something I wear it'll either be in the dead of summer or layered over a button up/some sort of top anyway, so a crop wouldn't be too uncomfortable.

Last but certainly not least is Shawl 14 (Pattern | Yarn). My precious Evenstar is coming along very well, I'm actually on the second to last pattern row before the set up for the border. I know the border is going to be a slog but I'm excited for it regardless, he's huge even all compressed on the needles. My self imposed deadline for him is April, but the border is only 56 repeats. If I can do one every other day I should be right on time, which sounds do-able even tho I know I'll get bored by the halfway point.

I need to keep an eye out for patterns for this yarn, I have a whole second cone plus what'll be left after I finish this shawl. These cones staring at me will probably be the push I need to settle on an Orenburg shawl pattern. (Or possibly a large Neibling, or one of MMario's patterns.)

[frozen-snowflakesandsunflowers]

Frozen nods/ Easter eggs in Wish

Now I had to make this post because initially many people thought it was the new Frozen but it's nothing like Frozen in its own good way. But I wanted to point out a few things that I thought were inspiration from Frozen. And that's given because Jennifer Lee is part of this movie too.

Note : This is not meant for comparison as to which is better as people have different opinions nor is it a who is better in characters either. Take this as Frozen Easter eggs if you must.

Queen Elsa and Queen Amaya

The thing I noticed is the similarities between Elsa's main icy blue iconic dress (In Frozen and the end of Frozen 2) and Amaya's gown and their personalities too. Queen Amaya is portrayed with a long braid, an off the shoulder dress with a layered middle slit on the skirt, a triangular or pointed waistline and two long see through capes and not too mention the pointed ends of the sleeves. Plus both are Queens. The skirt also has an upwards pointed design like Elsa's fifth spirit gown. Now I'm not saying this is a bad thing but just that it was clear Elsa was her inspiration for her character. She also has similar poses to Elsa as seen below and her personality is calm and modest as a Queen. If Frozen kept Elsa's fifth spirit necklace from the concept art then that'd be another similarity with both of them wearing necklaces/ pendants.

Amaya's design is honestly a very beautiful design and really gets me just excited for what Elsa's attire will be for Frozen 3 and 4. I'm just in awe of the dress structure too. I'm currently working on possibilities for that with Elsa's most iconic dress and her fifth spirit dress combining to one.

Hans and Simon

The other thing that I thought could be a nod and tease was to Hans with Simon. In my Wish review (previous post) I mention the good and bad sides to Simon's...

Spoilers below!!

... betrayal. In Wish, Simon betrays his friends and hands in Asha then the other friends. His friends call him a betrayer (I think it was). Then at the end after Magnifico is defeated, Simon apologizes to Asha. It was kind of a twist but I kinda saw it coming from the beginning and honestly not as good as Hans' twist despite him being the real villain of the movie and Simon not. In Frozen 2, everyone basically calls Hans a betrayer after he betrays the kingdom and Anna. But why I think this may be a possible hint of Hans' redemption in the upcoming Frozen movies, is because Simon apologizes too. Before I expand on that Simon does look like Hans with the shade of red hair too. But I know Hans won't be redeemed in the same way if he returns but I'm just saying it's possible that it's a hint by Jennifer (I know Hans fans would like to disagree but hear me out please) because I'm sure she has a sense of the story at the time of writing this.

I don't think it's right to compare Hans with Magnifico because they're nothing alike. Magnifico is self centered and loves power, in the magical and throne sense. Though Hans' movies appear as stealing the throne, if we read is backstory in 'A Frozen Heart' book, with the abuse by his brothers and father with no love or place it's kind of justifiable. Hans isn't self centered and wants the best for Arendelle even if it means killing Elsa to end this winter. Magnifico is a villain villain. Hans' has potential for redemption.

I know it's crazy but speaking of crazy...

“I/ We love crazy”

There's also a nod to Hans' “I love crazy” quote with Asha saying that talking animals and nature is crazy to which the talking mushrooms reply “We love crazy”. I loved it.

Just follow the string

Also I guess you could say, or at least I take the red string used by Star as a nod to Frozen Fever with Elsa using a red string to guide Anna to her birthday tour of presents around the castle and kingdom for Anna.

Valentino/ Star and Sven/ Olaf

With Valentino being the goat pet and Star being the magical creation born, it reminds me of Sven and Olaf. Valentino has a mischievous... I guess you could say.. personality and has a low/ deep voice. Sven doesn't talk but Kristoff makes his own voice deeper and humorous to do so. Star is a magical creation born out of a wish Asha, the protagonist, makes. He also has a humourous touch to him and a bit of nativity to him given he was just born. Olaf is the snowman Elsa, one of the protagonists, creates out of a subconscious desire to want to be free with her powers and feelings to create a snowman. Like Star he is funny, cute and is naïve at times. Not to mention both duos are chaotic and fun together and are males.

If I've missed any please do let me know and I'll edit it here! Hope you enjoyed Wish if you've watched it and enjoy Frozen's upcoming 10th anniversary while looking forward to Frozen 3 and 4!

[mylovescara]

Obey me

chubby mc headcanons

{ belphie,beel,lucifer }

Gn mc!

Sfw!!

Cw:mention of knee high socks,mainly fluff but a little suggestive

——————————————————————————

Belphie

belphie absolutely adores you and your chubby thighs and stomach!

He can’t help but think about sleeping on ur thighs. You allowing him to lay his head down and take a nap one you or him in between your thighs hand around your waist laying his head down on your stomach he can only dream

But eventually when you start dating him and you give him the ok to lie down and your stomach and thighs he falls asleep in no time!

Whenever your having bad days and feeling self conscious about your body just go to belphie and he’ll give you all the praise and compliments in the world he’ll even justify them to giving you a reason to why that part of you is so beautiful followed by a sweet kiss to whatever part of you body your feeling insecure about

And whenever he’s feeling bad sick or just is having trouble falling asleep he’s come to find you to cuddle with so he can feel better

He gives you a sweet kiss to ur forehead before shuffling into position to sleep on ur stomach

“I love this part of you so stop feeling insecure your the best pillow ever people who think otherwise are just jealous ”

He says these words with a kind smile while finshing off with a small chuckle

In return you give him a soft smile and you guys both drif off to sleep

Beelzebub

He loves you so much! (I head canon he personally loves people with a lil bit a chubbyness)

he loves when your wearing ur skimpy pjs shorts with half of your ass hanging out he can’t help but stare at it especially when he’s eating he claims it makes his food taste better while looking at your body

He loves when u allow him to lay his head down on your stomach and eat some snacks at the same time (you don’t kno how he doesn’t choke but whatevs)

If any one even says one bad thing about your body he’s ready to go give that lesser demon pain that they’ve never felt before

Right after he’s done dealing with that lesser demon he comes back to you and ask if your ok while carrying you bridle style and no matter if you say that you didn’t care or you did he will still shower you with compliments for the whole rest of the day

Anytime you hug or cuddle his hand while alway be around your waist pulling you closer kissing you

He loves squishing your thighs as well not even in a sexual way just in a way that he find it cute and fun to tease you when he does it

“I love your thighs their so squishy anyways come eat with me”

“Oh you don’t feel like eating are you full? You haven’t eat in the last 4 hrs tho if it cause of what them lesser demons said about you don’t worry I love your body and that all that matters right?”

He pulls you into a kiss which tell you he loves you When he pulls away from the kiss he picks you up and throws him across his back playfully and takes you guys to eat dinner with smiles on both of your faces

Lucifer

At first he never thought anything of you he just thought of you as another weak human who most likely didn’t know how to defend themselves

But then the more you stayed with him and his brothers the more you grew on him

He couldn’t help it!! This guy was deep In love for you although his pride wouldn’t let him admit it he was head is over heals!! He loves the way ur cute chubby cheeks would bounce as you ran off realising you were late for class

And the way ur knee high socks would go so well with ur chubby thighs

He just can get enough!!

He honestly thinks ur the cutest he can’t get enough he wants to hold you in his arms till the end of time and squish ur cheeks forever. Whenever ur near him he can’t help but think about how cute you look

And he’s even sweeter when you come to him explaining you’ve had a bad day that some lesser low rank demons have been bothering you since morning Talking about you as if you weren’t right next to them

After your done telling him what’s happened he goes feral but does his best to hide it from you I mean who would dare talk about his darling like that the audacity

“Darling do you mind telling me these demons names?”

“Never mind that come sit on my lap and I’ll prove to you ur much prettier then any other person in all of the 3 realms”

Lucifer cuddle ur as you relaxed on to him leaning ur head on his shoulder while he praised you and talk bad about those shitty lesser demons

Needless to say u heard some screams echoing somewhere near ur classroom the next day

——————————————————————————

[go-go-devil]

2, 11, 17, 37, 47 for patches and 5, 6, and 19 for wayne hylics! (sorry that's a lot. keeping you occupied.)

Hell yeah, two of my favorite bald guys! And don't worry, I have enough to say about both of them to fill up these answers ;-)

Patches:

2: A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

Patches met with Solaire and very likely regrets losing his trust, which is why he encourages us to "keep him by [our] side" even if he thinks the man's an idiot. I'm still genuinely shocked the fandom largely ignores this piece of actual canon dialogue, or misinterprets it in bad-faith takes. Just because Patches is an asshole doesn't mean he's irredeemably evil, c'mon guys...

11: Faceclaim for the role

No one honestly. In fact, I am so attached to Patches's phenomenal voice acting that I would only accept William Vanderpuye himself to play him in a unnecessary live-action adaptation of any soulsborne title even though he doesn't really look much like him.

17: Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

I had mentioned in another ask post that I associate the song "Hyena" by Rancid with him since I think a lot of the lyrics fit him very well. There's some other songs that make me think of him too, but several of those tend to be so specific that it's hard for me to communicate my thought process unless I go into a mini essay about how they connect for me (and I'm not just talking about the songs that I associate with the relationship between him and my oc Leiurus)

37: What they really think about themselves

In many ways, Patches truly does see himself as legendary rogue who's forsaken the Gods and their worthless treasures. He feels entirely justified in his neverending quest to punish clerics and those who exhibit a similarly greedy nature which fills his ego enough to help him maintain a positive attitude and never lose heart, even as the world decays around him

On the other hand... I feel he's also self-aware enough to know how lonely he is. Whatever those clerics did to him in the past must have truly been traumatic because this fucker has some severe trust issues. Even in DS3 when he finds ONE other person he respects and wants to be friends with he doesn't even have the balls to admit it to them, instead forcing himself to keep a distance and only saving them whilst wearing a disguise so they won't recognize him.

There's a part of me that even thinks his desire to trick non-clerics comes from a sense to test whether or not they have the tenacity to actually survive in this dangerous world without going hollow, just so that when he does beg for forgiveness and becomes their "friend" he knows they won't leave him too soon after

47: Their dream job

Being unemployed and kicking landlords and missionaries down holes to steal their money >:-)

Wayne:

5: Best personality trait

Unfortunately Wayne doesn't exhibit THAT many personality traits in both games, but his casual demeanor I've always found very endearing. He's just so damn chill and cool even when faced with great peril, and has such a deep respect for his friends. I also adore his little anarchistic quips whenever he stole something off the ground in Hylics 1 and really wish they had brought that back for 2, though him raiding Blerol's treasury in 2 does help fill that niche I suppose

6: Worst personality trait

A severe case of ennui for his place in the world, and the endless cycle of fighting his opposite to which he feels trapped in. Despite my history of Hylics angst writing this is actually canon, but I can't elaborate on this for you yet because you haven't beaten Hylics 2

19: Vices/bad habits

I like to imagine Wayne's greatest sin is sloth. Sometimes he'll lie in bed for hours upon hours because he can't bring himself to do anything, even if he wants to do something. There are also times where he'll choose to linger just a little too long in the Afterlife; letting the purgatorial tranquility overtake his senses until it almost melts his body into terrestrial juice

Most often all it takes is for his friends to come pay him a visit to get him out of his funk, but lately after the events of H2 he's begun to feel more listless than usual...

[montrealmadison]

olliewicks and 37 !!

abby, it’s only appropriate that i write these two for the very first time for you. ❤️

37. olliewicks + Anything You Want (Not That) by Belleruche for @zimms

Forgive the doe eyed relentless attention If it's on, I'm on, and there's no more use in pretending Close to the chase, it's clear you've had fun playing Some liberties, well you've surely been taking

Halfway through December, with the night becoming morning and the tub juice lighting him on fire, Oliver O’Meara thinks he’s having a pretty good freshman year.

Or—frog year. Right. New team, new lingo; he knows how this goes. The guys here call him Ollie, same as they have everywhere else. The ice at Faber is bigger, better kept, but his skates dig into it just the same. He goes to class (most of the time), hits up the kegsters, tries his best to get in with the upperclassmen, successfully makes one entire friend.

He’s a simple guy. Doesn’t expect much. 

So the fact that something is starting to feel different is rubbing him the wrong way.

read more below or on ao3 | request a fic here

The Haus is high off the win—literally, Ollie thinks, watching smoke drift past him out the open front door. They destroyed BC tonight, four-nothing, and Jack only shouted at them twice, which at this point honestly passes for kindness where he's concerned. Shitty has been incandescent with joy since they hit the showers. He’s dragged every member of the team into at least two keg stands with his own set of complicated strip rules and is now down to nothing but one sock and a giant smile, which was the final warning that prompted Ollie to move to the porch. The parties here are way better than in high school, he has to admit, but only in small doses.

Salt crunches beneath him when he sits down on the steps. It’s cold out. Not as bad as it is at home this time of year, but not warm enough to justify him sitting outside in shorts and a hoodie, sweat chilling quickly in his hair and his breath smoking out in long billows. He half-expects someone to come outside and yell at him to put a coat on, but no one does. To fill the silence, he takes another sip of tub juice, lets it torch his throat all the way down.

Maybe everybody feels like this freshman year: unmoored, self-conscious, either too loud or too quiet. It’s not bad, it’s just—different. Not having his brothers around. Playing hockey that really means something. Making friends on purpose, not just because they’re the only ones available. Going to parties where people sort of know you, where they call your name; where your teammates smile and smell like cinnamon and weed and have nice asses and ex-boyfriends; where that’s okay, it’s all okay.

Maybe, if he’s feeling like this on a night when he’s supposed to be happy, he shouldn’t be drinking alone. He’s about to pound the rest of his cup and risk going back in for a refill when someone knees him in the back.

“Ow,” Ollie says, which is a great first thing to say when you’re potentially going to have to kick someone’s ass. “Bro, what the fuck.”

He turns around, ready to defend himself, but it’s only Wicky, carrying two Keystones with the tabs already popped.

“‘Sup,” he says, grinning like he didn’t just commit an act of warfare, and hands one over. The can’s cold, as are Wicky’s fingers when they touch. “You’re thinking loud. Want a buddy?”

“Yeah,” Ollie agrees, more out of surprise than anything else. He takes a sip and finds that even watery beer is a welcome change from warm Everclear and foot stank. He tosses the rest of the tub juice into the bushes in a wide arc, sends his cup tumbling after it. “Thanks.”

Wicky sinks down beside him, close enough to throw off heat but not enough to touch. He’s in sweats and a beanie, dirty old Vans, that half a smile he always wears. Ollie’s not used to feeling like it’s directed at him and kind of waits to feel uncomfortable about it, but he never does. Beyond their little sliver of porch, it’s starting to snow.

“Good fucking game,” Wicky says after a long minute, throwing a shoulder in Ollie’s direction. His inflection is familiar, round and Midwestern, and reminds Ollie so much of home that it almost softens the blow. “Tired of cellying your assist?”

“Tired of Holster kicking my ass at pong,” he retorts. Wicky laughs and dodges the elbow Ollie aims his way. “Didn’t see you rushing to my defense, man, I had to play with Hardy and he’s about as useful as—”

“Nah, nah, I didn’t mean to laugh at you.” It’s sincere. “I got you next time, sorry. Got distracted.”

“What could be more important than riding to my rescue?”

“Key lime pie?”

“Ah.”

Ollie elbows him one more time, just for good measure and because Wicky claims not to have saved him any, before they drink their beers and watch the street turn white and he goes back to thinking.

Maybe it’s Wicky who’s different. Not in the way that Bitty is different, like nothing this team has ever seen, like the kind of person who merits special coaching with Jack by day and stands on the arm of the sticky green couch to deliver an impassioned performance of some Kesha song by night. No, the thing about Wicky is that he’s… bright. He puts his head down in practice and works the same as Ollie does, doesn’t ask many questions or draw attention to himself. They go to the dining hall and practice and the library together; mundane shit. Somehow, Ollie can’t stop noticing him anyway.

“You good, dude?”

Wicky’s voice is low, but Ollie’s so tuned into him in his head that it sounds loud. He turns, tipsy and slow, and finds Wicky still wearing that smile.

Oh, shit, Ollie thinks, hoping the cold and the beer serve as cover for the flush that immediately crawls up his cheeks. Oh, fuck.

Because here is the goddamn thing.

Oliver O’Meara is having a pretty good freshman year, but that’s all he ever expected it to be. Go to school, play hockey, have a little fun. Look, he gets that maybe there’s something in the water here that lets Shitty hug the Jack Zimmermann on the daily without getting both his arms ripped off, or facilitates the freaky mind-meld between Ransom and Holster, or enables Bitty to get on the ice with them at all. But Ollie’s never felt like a main character, not even in his own story. Everyone else probably has better reasons for coming to Samwell, life-changing ones. Ollie feels a little like he just ended up here because of some force of nature greater than him, like the broad strokes of his life have been sketched out and the details have all been left for him to make up.

Wicky is the only person who’s ever made him wonder how it would feel if, maybe, he could be different here, too.

“Ollie,” Wicky says, now sounding distinctly amused. “Earth to O’Meara. You wanna get out of here, brah? Not having fun?”

He’s pretty sure that get out of here isn’t intended that way, not yet, but it could—oh, God, it could. 

“No, I’m good,” Ollie says, feeling everything and nothing like himself. He stands, feels his knees ache with the effort of the day, knows he isn’t done quite yet. He sticks out a hand. “One more song and then late night?”

Wicky’s at his feet now, trusting eyes and curling hair, a face Ollie’s only just started to get to know but somehow thinks he won’t ever forget. He takes Ollie’s hand and pulls himself to his feet, but he doesn’t let go right away. Ollie kind of loves that. “One more, huh? Only if you’re gonna dance.”

“Deal.”

“‘Swawesome,” says Wicky. It sounds like a promise.

(Inside, on the dance floor, when that same hand wraps warm around the back of Ollie's neck like a question and an answer all at once, it feels like one, too.)

The next weekend, they win again. Ollie’s on the ice when Ransom wrists in the last goal and everyone shouts, and when they all pile in for the celly, Ollie finds Wicky’s bright blue eyes (oh, shit) and winks, and Wicky reaches up with one gloved hand and catches it like a kiss.

Alright, Ollie thinks. Game on.

[chocochipbiscuit]

for the fic ask game, I'd like to ask these for Gaze!

What is something you learned/researched while writing THIS fic?

Any Easter eggs in THIS fic?

(easter eggs defined liberally, maybe a reference or plot point or joke you inserted?)

GAZE!!!!

What is something you learned/researched while writing THIS fic?

Everything related to Singapore, honestly! Most of it, really. The Fraud Squad focused more on the glamorous socialite scene as a contrast to the main character's less-than-glamorous apartment shared with her mother, but for Anya to learn about hawker center etiquette, I had to learn hawker center etiquette.

I've read some of the criticism re: Crazy Rich Asians and the way the movie depicts Singapore, and suspect most of the same would apply to The Fraud Squad, which was billed as Crazy Rich Asians/The Devil Wears Prada. I don't think it's really my place (or can be reasonably expected) for me to write something that delves more deeply into that, so the best I could do was write something that felt true to the book. And where the book is about Sam infiltrating high society and learning to pass herself off as a socialite, this fic was intended to be more about Anya learning to make peace with the fact that she doesn't quite swim in those circles anymore, and realizing that she's tired of being a fraud.

Any Easter eggs in THIS fic?

Using the term 'Easter egg' very loosely, originally I thought about having Anya's mom offer her Horlicks instead of Milo because that's what my mom would make sometimes as a comfort drink. Except part of my research showed that while Horlicks may be the drink of choice for Hong Kong, Milo is more popular in Singapore. (I suppose I could argue that even if most people would have Milo, Anya's mom would prefer Horlicks, but it felt like too much effort to justify for a very small scene.)

The Earl Grey lavender cupcake appeared because of a similarly flavored cupcake appearing in Last Tang Standing, another book set in Singapore, if that counts as an Easter egg? I fully acknowledge that particular flavor was on my mind because of it. However, considering I disliked Last Tang Standing, it's less 'deliberate insert' and more 'reading this book made me very aware of this particular flavor profile and I decided it was tasty enough to include.'

Last Easter egg of dubious value: One of (two of, technically) the first things I bought after my divorce was a bookshelf. (Or two bookshelves). The first poetry book I bought after the divorce was Devotions by Mary Oliver. And yes, I did dog-ear the "Wild Geese" poem. It was a fresh start for me and I wanted it to represent a fresh start for Anya.

Thank you for asking, I had fun! :D

(Self-indulgent asks are from this ask game!)

[j2zara]

thinking about. the day after wedding night roleplay w/ porter and j2. j2 comes back to the other clones and he's still wearing the tiara, the ripped veil, the stockings and gloves. he's got a lacy cover-up on. he looks so wrecked. and he's sooooo happy. floating on air. hes giggling at nothing. "j3, h4, you'll NEVER guess what porter and i did <3 <3" and j4's like. trying to keep j3 from strangling poor j2 like "its not j2's fault he's hard-wired to crave affection, just let him have this, he'll settle down in a couple of days. maybe sooner if jaceprime finds out"

cries bc. I genuinely think like. J3 is very easy on j2 a lot of the time like j3 doesn't like being so jealous especially when he never asked for what j2 has with porter he always acts like that was something he would never want but also like, was he ever given a choice when everyone decided he was the spare? And he KNOWS J2 is the one who takes on the most and is that fair to be angry that he is the one who gets to be the favorite.

But i do think despite all this this is probably the nastiest J3 has ever been to J2 in his life. And like. It starts off very just like. Curt and whatever and he's trying to be cool about it. but. J2 is like. Did i do something wrong? to j4 b/c i think J3 is mad at me.... He hasn't looked me in the eye ONCE since we got back. And i apologized about the shoes and thanked him and everything! And told him we could get new ones. Porter said it was ok. They'll be even nicer than the ones i broke. And j3 won't even say it outright, he just teases J2 about how stupid the whole thing is and how schmaltzy and also is like. a huge huge bitch about j2 ruining his shoes which is fair enough i guess but even he knows they were cheap and one outing away from snapping anyway. This whole idea was so trashy you look like a wreck (you look like a whore, like hypocrite much?) you better clean up before jaceprime gets back. We had to pick up the slack while you guys were away so you have a lot of shit to do.

and poor j2 doesn't even understand. Because J3 doesn't unpack his shit w/ j2, he always runs to j4 about it. and j4 is honestly kind of tired of being his therapistgirlfriend who he happens to fuck when she's also in a ton of pain and keeps it all to herself but that's not even the issue right now. I mean. It's kinda the issue. And like. He won't even be direct to her about what is bothering him and that pisses her off even more. Because like. It's obviously about how he's in love with porter and wont admit it. It's obvious that he's jealous. But don't take your shit out on me. I didn't ask for that. And even she like. Even she's kinda unfair about it tho bc like she can only really rationalize this as like. In this kind of demeaning way of. well J2 can't help himself he is hard wired to crave porter's affection. And like. She's kinda right but she also just can't conceptualize why anyone would EVER choose to stay in this kind of situation, how they could choose porter, how they might even be happy at least sometimes, when its so fucked. (Why would you stick around in something that doesn't make you happy? Why would you choose to stay? Even if there was some sort of reprieve, could it justify the rest? She is not ready to look her self appointed obligation to j3 in the face is she)

But yeah j2. As far as j2 is concerned. He's like. I thought you guys would be happy for me.... I mean. J3, you've been making fun of the schmaltzy romance thing from the very beginning, why do you care if there were rose petals on the bed, you don't even LIKE flowers (actually in my head j3 does like flowers just not bouquets, you didn't hear that from me) and J4 i get that you see this as some sort of pathetic tragic pitiful thing, like i knew you would never see it my way but can't either of you at least pretend!!! It was one day! One day! And I never complain about anything! i'm a bad person for even admitting any of this bothers me ok! (He's honestly terrified of what's gonna happen with Jaceprime and he's worried he's gonna get dispelled for real and. maybe if that happened he would deserve it). It's just like. Why couldn't you just say you're happy for me and then bitch about me to each other behind my back like you always do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then he surges so bad he nearly sets the house on fire.

[dire-kumori]

I'm glad you liked my last idea- I had another idea (I am also very scattered brained and just come up with like 16 new ideas for random au I find on the internet) We're after like I'm gonna say 80 time loops where Michael is like fully devolved into the reaper He decides not just to kill his younger self this time... He only plans on doing it once just one little piece of revenge.. And he knows it will hurt his younger self too so it's like a double win...

Basically he sneaks into the Afton house at night and kidnaps Elizabeth.. Then he takes her to wear sister location would be built.. He knows that Michael saw him and is probably going to follow him in an attempt to save Elizabeth he's planning on it.... Elizabeth is like freaking out and reaper Mike Is trying to justify... Hes got her tied up to a tree and everything

Reaper Michael: I know it's my fault you became that thing.. If I had watched if I had come sooner I could have saved you.. *Touches her hair Elizabeth squirms away*

Elizabeth: When my dad and brothers find you they're gonna make you pay you're a bad man!! (She is trying really hard to act brave but she is terrified)

Reaper Michael: I know.. cause I care about Elizabeth.. I've always cared about you're my little sister for God damn sake... And I know that somewhere in that horrible twisted mass of metal and plastic you cared about me too.. But you still killed me you wore me like some kind of dress up..

*Elizabeth suddenly realized that this thing somehow is Michael screams and wiggles against her restraints. Younger Michael hears it and rides his bike towards the scream*

Ripper Michael: I honestly should thank you Elizabeth you showed me that no matter how much I tried to hide it all I am is a dirty rotten creature and all I can do is hurt people... But you still killed me and it hurt so so much.. And one death won't mean anything in the greater scheme.. (Man has gone full monster He knows what hes doing is terrible and hes not actually helping anyone it's more just cathartis)

*Elizabeth not really understanding what he means by everything... But understanding that somehow she did this to him.. She is so terrified she wants to just start crying there not only because of the monster in front of her but because this monster is her brother and she made him like this for some reason...*

Elizabeth: What happened to you Michael? what did I do what's going on? I'm so sorry?

Reaper Michael: That's what I said to you... *Michael thinks back to the scooping room* Want to know what you said?

*Younger Michael is in the clearing with a baseball bat*

Reaper Michael: The scooper only hurts for a second.. (Quickly kills Elizabeth I don't know how he just does-)

Then he probably makes a quick work of Younger Michael before it starts all over again..

Sorry I couldn't stop thinking about this since you said earlier hes only doing This to deal with his own feelings of self-hatred. It's kind of Marinate in it.. I thought it would be interesting if in one loop he kills Elizabeth It's like hes gone fully off of the deep end at this point and doesn't really have a way to justify what hes doing anymore- And even though he does blame himself for what happened to Elizabeth he still hates that she did it to him.. Sorry for how long this ISL OLI hope you like it!!

This is pure evil and I am absolutely living for it!

Reaper Mike has fully gone off the deep end if he's outright willing to kill his little sister. He knows that she isn't the one who killed him, but can't completely erase the pain and terror he felt when he was down there alone in the scooping room. And as a ghost possessing his own derelict corpse, those emotions he felt at the moment of his death never dull. Circus Baby and Ennard are gone but the human soul who controlled them is right there, so weak and vulnerable, unable to fight back, and it's not like it will stick, right? One he slaughters the young version of himself time will be reset and she'll be fine. It's just once, a brief momentary release...

William would be proud of how alike they are in that moment.

(Bit of gore talk ahead; par for the course with a lot of my writing but if it's upsetting to you, skip over to 'He knew.')

And young Mike is utterly broken at the sight of his sister's corpse, drenched in blood with her belly slit open, intestines hanging down to the ground with her face frozen in an agonized scream for help that never came. He knew that something dangerous was coming. He knew his family was in danger but selfishly, he only thought about saving his own skin. Why didn't he try to warn anyone? Why didn't he try harder to protect his siblings? It's his fault Elizabeth's dead, and in the face of how utterly he's failed is sister, he doesn't even put up a fight when the Reaper comes for him next.

Whether or not anyone else aside from Michael remembers any of the loops depends entirely on the author. But let's say in this case Elizabeth does remember some of it, if only as a bad dream. The next morning Elizabeth reacts to the sight of Michael with a mix of guilt and horror and actually vomits at the sight of him.

[lizalfosrise]

Rise who are your favorite AK antagonists? Personality, aesthetics, story, gameplay, whatever metric you want to use.

Ahh, there's so many!

Most Reunion commanders of course but especially:

Crownslayer - seeing that artwork of Crownslayer on the hill of Chernobog rubble as a promo near launch then in that intro in-game was instantly 'wow i hope we get them that outfit is stylish- wait what do you mean she's an antagonist AHHH THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK OUT FOR HER! STOP!' (Lo and behold, clownslayer bullying) She just keeps getting fucked over progressively worse as things go on... W - The Character Of All Time. Starting off like 'oh sick ch1 boss design- hang on she SMOKEBOMBED AWAY!? NO DEATH ANIMATION ALLOWED HAHAHA HOW FUNKY! "KILL YOU LATER" alrighty!' and then uh yeah, Chapters 2&3 happened. Boy was that fucked up. But then we got to see her plans unfurl prior to Darknights Memoir which solidified her as Fucking Incredible. I finally understood the Hype about her banner on CN. Character I simply resonated with so strongly at that point. Phenomenal major player in the main story. Is she bound to meet a violent end? I feel like it'd be a neat and tragic mirror to the end of Arc 1 if there was an Amiya/W face-off eventually. FrostNova - Yelenaaaaaa....... Perish in Frost is gonna end me all over again honestly. Very important bnuyu. Listening to Lullabye repeatedly lately; in memoriam, and an attempt to memorise the lyrics in anticipation. Personally it's kind of amusing that she gets the True Rng attacks with her Black Icicles. Genuine, authentic russian roulette gameplay. Crisp design, that pale ice-blue is a nice touch.

Non-Reunion:

Mandragora - my wonderful soggiest poor little meow meow dripping mud n dirt n blood everywhere <3 Ain't she great! Now that Yato can go visorless, a Masked slot is available! Make it so, Hypergryph. Sometimes self-care is skewering Victorians to instil fear as catharsis for trauma-inducing abuse that more-or-less ended one of her lives that she crawled out of like a more bedraggled version of Kill Bill's The Bride. Unhinged, justifiably-founded but now-disproportionate revenge is just fun. Wear your wrath like a mantle. Anyhow it's as gutting as intended that she's the one that most cared for her troops and the Taran peoples; for overturning the Victorian nobility and their policies. So it'd be nice to see an actual return after they let her vanish in Londinium. Also HornDragora excellent dynamics Ya - Ohohohohoho. Hypergryph really love making characters just for me~ They deserve to burn Yan to ashes, absolutely. Not the traitor bitch-in-chief Sui. Oh, you're mad that you got betrayed by the insects whom you taught to kill gods? Really now? That bastard pulled a Zaaro and wants to be the last one standing, to curse Yan with his rebirth and outlive those He betrayed. Fuck that. Ya is essentially bleeding out after being woken from stasis by the shitforbrain Shanhaizhong idiots yet doing all the cool wuxia villain shit in a heartbroken rampage to bring Sui back simply for Them to burn the world and die together as kin once more. Wonderful! And though I don't recall if Fire Emblem: Awakening did have that same exact dynamic between Grima and the Grimleal, I adore that scenario of 'hey you fucked me over in order to have the end of the world summoned for you BUT guess what? You die too, bitch. No world domination for you filth either!' (Heroes recently gave us the true Laser-Guided Karma moment with that) They carved away specific slivers of time for Their pocket dimension home to keep Their cherished moments away from humanity and got woken up by nobodies, for little of purpose. YA01, what a legendary codex tag. The boss gimmick was an interesting way of doing the clone tactic but damn those additional spawns if you let Them move too far forward. Overall I like Them a normal amount, see. Pancho Salas - This guy was ridiculous, what a goofy Bond villain parody. Lovely action film setpiece of a map fending off his armoured missile boat and those waverider casters from a chewed-up luxury yacht in an artificial sea. Taking his boat down only to face the absolute brick wall of an anchor-wielding seadog with a metal arm, damn. Dossoles Holiday was much more fun than expected even with its Deep Water/Tides mechanics. Kaschey - Not exactly a favourite, but. They made a very good punching bag of an Actual Evil Bastard. That scummy method of self-propagation allowing him to be all "Ursus is MY plaything and I shall continue to grease its wheels with the blood of all those my Glorious Empire shall oppress!" was one hell of a reveal to throw into that interlude, huh? And that colour palette he maintains across his victims - the austere, harsh grays and black against white with dashes of crimson: it's the bloodstains amidst the Ursus Tundra echoing his presence. That's a sublime and careful coordination, yet more of Hypergryph's mindful consideration and planning behind characters, behind lore themes & motifs. Zumama, during Great Chief Returns - I CAN BEAT GAVIAL'S STRENGTH WITH MY ENGINEERING I PROMMY, GODDAMMIT (can't, lmao) Tomimi, during Great Chief Returns - I CAN KEEP GAVIAL WITH ME IN ACAHUALLA FOREVER I PROMMY, GODDAMMIT (can't, lmao. Gets tail-spanked, lmao) Jetpack Thief/Jetman from IS2 simply because the Arts Drones are more of a threat than his dumb arse. Stall, he hops into flight when we're given Anti-Air Defense tiles boosting ranged atk, and when he lands you should have a burst dps melee ready to grind him. One of the safest Floor 3 bosses if rngesus has allowed it. IS3's Pathshaper gets a shout here too for being a hilariously-deletable non-event of a Floor 3 boss.

On the more passive antagonism side of things would be ones like:

Degenbrecher (all sides knew it's just a stalling game where Enciodes is far more antagonistic towards the Very Shitty Clan Leaders & Great Elder, yet Sharp actually held out sparring with her) The Last Steam Knight (a warping of conviction and duty beyond death that defends a final bastion "You are not permitted to stain MY Victoria! Trespasser!") Dusk ("Hey what the fuck are you looking for me for? Get in the painting idiots. Wait, you lot have too much trauma to deal with that? Lame. Why's my annoying big sister here too?!") Ho'olheyak (she's not evil, and not the arc's villain, just as she said; but her manipulation of various parties during Dorothy's Vision/Lonetrail and taunting of both Saria and Muelsyse was enough for us to find delightful)

[kurt-wagner-official]

Post #23: UXM Annual issue 5, Avengers Annual issue 10, and UXM issues 151-152

This annual costars the Fantastic Four. Other than Hank’s periodical appearances, which don’t really count as a crossover, this is the first proper team-up story Claremont has written. Just as a general rule, when I’m writing about team-up stories with characters not under the X-umbrella, I’m mostly gonna breeze over the parts with other heroes to focus on the X-Men characters, cause I don’t wanna lose focus in this post series. I do love the FF and maybe I’ll write about them, but not today. The exception will be when those parts of the story are adding to the X-parts, like in some later FF crossovers where there’s focus on cross-team relationships and thematic parallels between the two families. Here, though, they’re just here for the creators to have fun with and to boost sales. It is interesting that right after Byrne left to write and draw Fantastic Four, Claremont writes a Doom story and now an FF one. Maybe their  relationship has improved with distance, or maybe he’s trying to piss him off. Anyway, most of the FF is kidnapped by the alien Badoon, who have tracked and killed a Shi’ar messenger looking for Xavier. Susan escapes and goes to the X-Men for help. The Shi’ar’s last words were of Arkon, and Scott still has his teleportation lightning bolts, so the team goes to his world. This is Kitty’s first official mission, and she tries to wear another ridiculous self-made costume, but they make her change. The Badoon conquered Polymachus and captured Arkon, and once their military is stronger, the plan to conquer the Shi’ar as well. Before going into the field, Kurt and Logan have a follow-up to the conversation they had after their trip to Canada. Logan says that this is war and he’ll do what’s necessary. Kurt says he can’t and won’t stop him, but he wants him to remember the value of life and the gravity of killing, even when it’s justified. Kurt believes that Logan can and should try to change his killer ways. They put the conversation on hold as the team splits up to attack different areas of the Badoon citadel. Peter finds himself overwhelmed by a Badoon monster, but when it threatens Kitty, he’s overcome with berserker rage and defeats it. We’ve seen before and we’ll see again Peter’s temper. He’s not the traditional stereotype of a battle happy strongman. He’s typically more of the gentle giant archetype, sensitive and loving with a preference for peace. But he subverts that too with a temper second only to Logan’s. It’s a nice character decision that sets him apart from a lot of other bricks. Sue frees her team, and there’s a few pages of Brent Anderson (who’s back for this issue by the way, I forgot to mention earlier) having fun with the huge ensemble until Reed does some science to destroy a big self destructing machine and save the day. The X-Men have inspired the people of Polymachus to revolt and win back their world. Before the X-Men go home, Ororo and Arkon kiss and tell each other they wish they could be together, but neither can leave their world and their responsibilities. Ororo says she lives single by choice, and rarely regrets that, but does now with Arkon. Compared to her teammates, Ororo has very few love interests of the course of her history, and I’m very glad for that. Over the years, other than T’Challa, which is a relationship that I honestly find bland and underdeveloped, and Forge, which is an on again off again thing that’s very interesting but should have ended in the eighties, her relationships have either been short lived and forgotten or censored for being gay. I think it’s the best thing for the character; she’s very independent and free, and I feel like most of her possible love interests intentionally or unintentionally stifle some parts of her very complex personality. She only feels like she’s fully herself when she’s single, and it’s good for characters like that to exist. That being said, I do think that she and Logan having a quasi-romantic friends with benefits situation would be really interesting for both characters, since I have similar thoughts about Logan, and it would be a unique relationship in the franchise. But I’ll talk about that later. Overall, this was a fun and inconsequential crossover, but it does plant the seeds for some great FF/X-Men stories down the line.

Avengers Annual 10 actually takes places before issue 150, which Carol had a brief appearance in, but it doesn’t have much affect on the series until after, so I think this is the best place to read it to maintain the flow of the series. I’m gonna speak very briefly about the plot cause most of it is about the Avengers (duh). I will be focusing on Carol Danvers, because she’s about to briefly join the X-Men, and Rogue, because this is her first appearance and origin (also just in advance I’m gonna call her Anna just to fit the pattern, but that wasn’t revealed as her name until I think 2004). Some backstory: in the worst Avengers story ever written, retroactively called the Rape of Ms. Marvel, Carol was mind controlled by a time traveler named Marcus, who “persuaded” her to fall in love with him and because of weird time travel give birth to him. He was only able to permanently exist in a pocket limbo dimension, so Carol went there with him and all of the Avengers thought it was romantic. In this story, the Avengers find out she’s mysteriously back when she falls off a bridge in a coma. Jessica Drew saves her and calls Xavier, who says that her conscious mind has been completely erased. This is revealed to be the work of Anna, who absorbed her powers permanently and as a side effect her personality. On the orders of Mystique, her adoptive mother, she beats up the Avengers, stealing their powers before breaking the Brotherhood out of prison. The Avengers stop them, but Anna and Mystique escape again. Anna actually gets very little character work in this issue; she’s mostly just gloating about how strong she is and beating everyone up. The Avengers go to the X-Mansion to speak with Carol, who breaks down and tells them the full story: they all accepted Marcus’s story at face value and didn’t question when he said he was no longer controlling Carol, but because of time travel stuff, as soon as they returned to his dimension he aged to death. Carol was able to reopen his portals and return, wanting to rebuild her life away from the Avengers when Anna attacked. From a meta standpoint, this is probably the best way to handle the follow-up to such a horribly conceived and written story. It kinda paints the rest of the Avengers as truly terrible people, but that’s for the best so we can focus on Carol. This is the downside to a huge shared publishing universe: if one author writes a horrible story like this (David Michelinie was the writer of Avengers, but I think Jim Shooter has taken the blame for this story), then the next writer has to deal with the implications. And if one author writes a story that every other author hates, what is the validity of that story in that character’s history? Hank Pym and Peter Parker have both hit their wives in anger due to a writer/artist miscommunication. Later writers ignore the Peter incident, because it was out of character and should never have happened, but for Hank it’s defined him for decades. Which is the right approach? It’s a question that needs to be asked more. It won’t come up much on this blog, because when one man writes the series for 17 years, and most of the spinoffs are by either him or Louise Simonson, who he works closely with, there’s very little disagreement between creators and nothing is forgotten. Which for the most part is a good thing, because Claremont and Simonson are great writers, but there are occasionally some questionable choices, and for better or worse those are always undeniably canon and important.

Finally back to the main series, where Cockrum is taking a break while a whole committee of artists fill in, Xavier gets a letter from Kitty’s parents saying they’re pulling her out of the school so she can go somewhere with kids her age. Which since they don’t know she’s a mutant is a very reasonable move, because if I were a parent I would think it’s very weird that the second youngest “student” is 19. Kitty is heartbroken; not only is she leaving the place and people that make her happiest, she sees this as an attempt to get her even farther away while they’re going through their divorce. And worst of all, they’re sending her to Emma Frost’s Massachusetts Academy. Emma Frost is the White Queen of the Hellfire Club, the first villain Kitty ever faced, and still alive after apparently dying fighting the Phoenix. Kitty’s whole world is falling down around her right when she’d regained stability, and her instinct is to lash out and blame her parents. But Xavier confirms they’re acting of their own free will, so there’s nothing he can do. She says her goodbyes and promises to visit, and kisses Peter, which means I can no longer ignore the elephant in the room I’ve been avoiding mentioning- Kitty and Peter’s relationship. They’ve been flirting and attracted to one another the entire time she’s been on the team, which is so very creepy since he’s at least 19 and she’s 13. This is one of those instances I was talking about last paragraph, where Claremont really should have been stopped, but since he’s the only writer for both characters for so long their relationship can’t just be softly retconned. This is by far my least favorite part of the run, and I hate that to this day it’s still the main on and off relationship for both characters. Ororo drives Kitty to her new school, and when Kitty is off with her orientation advisors, the White Queen appears, swaps their minds. Ororo, in Frost’s body, is a prisoner, why Frost heads back to the X-Men with an evil plan. At the mansion, the second creepiest X-couple, Kurt and his adoptive sister Amanda, are having a walk by the lake when they’re attacked by Sentinels under Shaw’s control. They destroy just as “Ororo” returns and takes them all out. Meanwhile, the real Ororo picks the lock on her cell and goes to Kitty. Unlike Frost, who’s having a great time with the powers of Storm, Ororo is both lost without the power that she put so much of her identity in and overwhelmed by her new telepathic powers. She flashes back to her time with Jean when her own telepathy was growing out of her control, and pulls herself together. But when Kitty tries to run, she accidentally hits her with a psionic attack, knocking her out.

Ororo tries to flee with Kitty, but Frost returns and accidentally causes their car to crash. Kitty saves who she thinks is her enemy, and Ororo tries to tell her who she is. Kitty’s not convinced, but she agrees to go along to save the X-Men in case it is the truth. At the mansion, Shaw turns Logan over to the guards that he gutted in the basement of the Hellfire Club. They survived and were upgraded with cyborg components, and they and Leland torture him to what they think is his death. But it was an illusion cast by Amanda, who the villains don’t realize has powers. Kitty and Logan save their friends, and Logan has a reunion with Cole, one of the bionic guards. Cole begs for death, saying his current existence is worse, but Logan basically calls him a little bitch who’s not worth it. Logan knows that being physically augmented doesn’t take away your humanity, but maybe Cole didn’t have any to begin with. In the past, he would have just killed Cole without hesitation, but now he knows there’s other way. It isn’t mercy though, because Cole wants to die. I think this is Logan starting to agree with Kurt’s idea that even a justified kill weighs on Logan’s soul, and the pathetic Cole isn’t worth it. Meanwhile, the storms Frost has created are out of control, but Ororo, with the mind swapping gun in her hands, takes control of Frost’s mind to reverse the process. She then shoots her, reclaiming her body, and though they are high in the air, she saves Frost from the deadly fall. But when she immediately attacks, Ororo lets loose on her for her horrible acts of violation against Ororo and her friends. She fully intends to kill her, but she’s stopped by Logan of all people. He says that killing changes and taints you, and although he won’t stop, he thinks Ororo shouldn’t give up on being better. He’s very right, because when Ororo does kill, in the upcoming Brood Saga, it changes her, and it’s a long time before she finds herself again. But that’s all later. Right now, the battle is won, but since they’re unable to expose the other group without exposing their own identities, the X-Men and Hellfire Club parts ways hating each other but in peace. Overall, a pretty good arc, but far from the best Hellfire story. It says some interesting things about the violations of mind control and body stealing, but those themes will be done much better in upcoming Carol/Anna stories and in the Brood Saga.

[spicyteenhood]

UNAPOLOGETIC ME.

I want my first post to be about me. Yes, I admit it: I’m a self-centered person, and honestly, that doesn’t bother me at all. It’s not that I don’t care about others. If you asked anyone who knows me, they’d probably say, “She’s so kind, generous, and genuinely cares about people and their problems.” I’ve been that way for most of my life. However, I recently realized that I’ve given so much to others, and now it’s time to prioritize myself—maybe even a little more than I have before.

But does it really hurt to share a story about someone else for my first post? Or does it?

All that was just the warm-up. Now, let’s dive into the real talk. I know a girl who always starts with, “Please don’t hate me for what I did,” every time she’s about to share something. This usually happens after holidays when everyone has a flood of stories from their time off, and it’s hard to keep track of who said what. The statement itself isn’t wrong, but the context in which she uses it often feels misplaced.

For instance, she’d say it when she had her first kiss, when she had a crush and finally confessed, or when she got into an argument with her dad, speaking her mind, which, by the way, was completely justified. Not once did she use this line when she received low marks in her classes. These moments make me realize that she often prioritizes how others perceive her over her own feelings—caring more about what people like me think, even when it has little to do with her own narrative.

A common issue I see among teenagers is our intense focus on how others will perceive us after we share something. Will they label us as rude, chaotic, troublesome, or worse? It’s okay to let people feel that way about you. It’s okay to be your true self as long as you’re happy and not breaking any laws. Life is too short for regrets—there’s no rewind button on teenagehood.

When I said “for most of my life,” I meant for the past 18 years and 11 months. I’ve learned a lot about what it means to be a teenager. I know the emotional rollercoasters, the chaos that often plays out in our minds, and the strong attitudes we sometimes wear as armor. We frequently deal with our struggles alone because, after all they say, “How can a 15-year-old be depressed?” I’ve lived through much of this and witnessed even more, and now I’m ready to share it all here.