#and then you have all of the people who are dressed like animals

[heyysteven]

I love, I love, I love

Summary: Some Husband!salesman headcannons

Warnings: Brief mentions of death and Fluff :))

Husband!salesman who just loves to be the little spoon, he absolutely loves the feeling of resting his head on your chest as you caress his hair talking about the details of your day. He didn't mind being the big spoon either. He just loves any reason to be wrapped around you really.

Husband!salesman who could hear you talk for the rest of his hours. Tell him about the book you just finished reading, tell him about the new recipe you wanted to try, tell him about new gossip at work. He would listen patiently and ask questions wherever he got confused.

Husband!salesman who texted you every two hours. Did you reach your office safely? I’m eating the sandwich you packed! Did you have your lunch? Any updates on the new gossip? Will reach home in twenty minutes;)) Do you want anything from the grocery store? Got you donuts just in case.

Husband!salesman who would take pictures of every sunset, every animal, every flower and send them to you because they reminded him of you and how you would have taken pictures if you were with him.

Husband!salesman who would buy you a huge bouquet of flowers before every date night, conveying different messages using the language of flowers. Last time he got home one full of red tulips and sunflowers (because his passion for you ran murderously deep silly!).

Husband!salesman who planned every date night down to the minute. He would book the reservations for that cuisine you once mentioned you wanted to try. He would whistle as soon as you step out the room in your evening dress, twirl you by your hand and ask for the n’th time how he got so lucky (would definitely be disappointed if you wore something without back zips). He would always be the perfect gentleman for you; right from driving you, opening the doors, pulling your chairs, all you had to do was shut your brain and enjoy the evening.

Husband!salesman who always tried matching his tie to the color of your dress.

Husband!salesman who loved holding hands more than life itself. He would love feeling the cold metal of your wedding ring every time you locked your fingers. He would walk around with the most proud smile ever on his face, softly swinging your intertwined fingers with each step.

Husband!salesman who could never say no to you. He was born with a lot of impressive abilities and strategic skills. Murdering someone with a fork? Easy! Selling people the idea of getting rich by playing a bunch of game? A piece of cake! Saying no to his wife? What is that? Shouldn’t it be punishable by law?

Husband!salesman who couldn’t cook to save his life. He somehow ended up burning everything he put on stove, so he just stuck to cleaning instead. It was a silent agreement, you would make the breakfast and dinners and he would wash and dust while you cooked. On days he ran late, he loved being welcomed by the aroma of the dish you were making. It made him feel like that this was the reason he was alive.

Husband!salesman who still got flustered when you kiss his cheek. It had quickly become your power move. On the rare occasion where you disagreed upon something, you would simply kiss his cheek and watch him fumble with his words. It was the most adorable thing ever.

Husband!salesman who would kiss and bite your neck every chance he got. He loved the fact that he could attack your neck any time he wanted.

Husband!salesman who loved when you asked him to pick you up after work. He waited for the moment you would come running and jump to hug him tight.

Husband!salesman who always noticed every single detail. Like the time he caught a man making you uncomfortable while walking. He did exactly what the man deserved; beat him till his teeth were bloody and carved his fingers out from their socket,  for ever daring to make his wife feel unsafe.

Husband!salesman who got jealous easily. He didn’t ask for much, he just wanted every single person with conspicuous intentions towards you to just get hit by a truck on the highway (with him driving the truck preferably).

Husband!salesman who always made sure to support your hobbies! Even if you abandon them after two weeks, he’s proud of you for trying.

Husband!salesman who hated your plushies and teddy bears. He hated how much distance they created between you while sleeping. He would just throw them to the floor when you weren’t looking.

Husband!salesman who doesn’t like getting his shirt bloody because “My wife chose that for me, its rude of you to bleed on my clothes.”

Husband!salesman who says I love you like it’s the air he needs for breathing. He would find every reason to squeeze your hands thrice.

[neovillains]

PINK BOWS | NANAMI KENTO

syn. your boyfriend is scared of intimacy, but for all the reasons you never expected.

── virgin!nanami kento & fem-bodied!reader, established relationship, panty kink, masturbation, sexual fantasies, accidental vouyerism, etc | 3.1k words ( minors, ageless & blank blogs : do not interact )

note. a fic i found in drafts that i never got around to posting.

Nanami had been raised to value his future career-wise over all else. Taking his parents’ teachings to heart, he solely focused on his career, making sure that he followed the path to becoming someone who was financially stable and didn’t need to stress over bills and obligations. However, that seemed to be the only merit to it— not having to worry and being able to live a lavish life. They didn’t mention the exhaustion he would experience, putting excruciating hours in working behind a desk. They didn’t tell him how robotic it would feel to wake up for most days to get ready, go to work, and come back home at late hours to only eat takeout and fall straight to sleep. 

Barely a social life because all of his friends and the people close to him are always busy and when they do have the time, he unfortunately doesn’t. It was such a period of lonesomeness for Nanami, surviving but never really living. It wasn’t until a rare occasion of getting off of work early that he found himself in a bar, hitched up at a stool and slouching over the counter with a glass of whiskey nestled in his hand. He let out a deep sigh as he felt like this is the most rest he’s gotten ever since becoming a salaryman. In his blue button and animal print tie, he loosens the decorative piece and unbuttons the first few of his shirt as he slouches.

The sound of jazz playing through the speakers and the voices of other customers piling in on the Friday evening. He’s unaware of the pair of eyes that have settled on him this evening, the fine dime that watches two seats to his right. In a cute black backless dress that hugs every curve, you admire the blonde beauty that seems so exhausted. The way he composes himself, you can tell that he’s a reserved man and if anything, you’d have to be the one making a move on him. In your hand, a Sex on the Beach, the fruity drink gets disposed of in a few chugs before you’re standing on your heels and pulling out the stool right next to him. The scraping of the chair legs finally calls for his attention as his chestnut-colored eyes come into view. 

He wonders how you were able to do it so quickly. The many times he’s been approached by women in the office, he was always quick to turn them down. However, with you, he didn’t feel that inclination to deny you. You spoke as if it was your right to have him, the way your eyes twinkled as you smiled up at him and started an easy conversation beginning with a simple “hey!” You had so much charm to you that it loosened him up, and while you carried on most of the conversation, he found himself deeply captivated by you as you were him. 

At the end of the night, both of you exchanged numbers. You gnawed on your bottom lip, eyes flickering to his with a desire that he wasn’t used to seeing. You started to inch closer in hopes of something more, but you felt his body tense up when your lips ghosted him as you stood on your tippy-toes as he backed away. He cleared his throat, quickly dismissing the failed kiss and bidding you a farewell. “Have, uh— have a lovely night,” he stammered out before his leather shoes clicked on the hard concrete and he turned his back on you. 

Leaving you alone in the chilling night, you were grateful for the lack of people to witness your embarrassment before your heels clicked against the sidewalk as you walked in the other direction. He remembered feeling such guilt for leaving you hanging like that, and he felt anger within himself for doing the same to him. He’d love to have a taste of those plump and glossy lips of yours. Do they taste as sweet as you look? However, that curiosity died as his anxiety overcrowded his brain and spoke against his better judgment, his mind chastising him for a week as he stared at your phone number, neither one of you having the strength to message first. 

It’s pathetic how he deprives himself of something— someone— he wants. Someone he needs. Because only the heavens know how much Nanami needs this. Thankfully the gods listen to his pleas and his incessant whining, granting him the courage to finally message you first and ask you out on a date. It took you a couple of hours to respond back, debating with yourself if you should really go out with a man who backed away from a kiss. However, you figured that you were only being too fast and he wanted to take things slow. 

  He took you out to a food mall, a large building backed with restaurants, bakeries and cafes all in one setting. It proved that he was truly paying attention to you when you were droning on and on back in that bar. Dressed in a pink sundress that flowed down your body, each strut you took had Nanami mesmerized when you got excited and ran off to look at something. Your eyes would sparkle as a worker would come and hand you a little skewer to try. And for once Nanami was happy with his job, grateful to be able to spend ample of money on a pretty thing such as yourself. He didn’t care how much he spent on you, as long as he got to see the way your eyes lit up as you beckoned him to follow right behind you. 

Winning over each other’s hearts, you placed the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend on each other. Nanami was content with it, happy to spend time with you— to hug and hold you close whenever you came to visit him and vice versa. However, while he was complacent in the place where your relationship stood, you weren’t. When you finally managed to kiss him, they were always a peck and never lasted for too long, and even when he held you, that felt awkward. 

You could never rest on his lap, your head always against his chest. When you tried to deepen the kiss, he’d always pull away. Dammit, when you tried to take it even further, thinking that you were ready to sleep with him, he’d always break that sexual tension that lingered in the air, cutting his visit short. 

He treated you so well in almost every aspect except for the ropes of intimacy. Were you doing something wrong?

—

Nanami felt guilty for how he’d pull away, and deny you of what you wanted. He really did, but you really didn’t understand what you do to him. He felt weak and pathetic about how just being in such close proximity to his girlfriend made him feel. How his cock would create a tent in his pants and he struggled to conceal it. How had you not noticed? His body would shudder every time you tried climbing on his lap, his entire body stiffening as you’d do so. When you tried to deepen the kiss, he felt like he was a high school boy again, near to releasing in his pants. Things would escalate and he was afraid of the possible embarrassment he would feel for his inexperience. 

He should know better. He should know that you, his sweet little girlfriend, would always be so understanding and love him regardless. Something that he shouldn’t be so ashamed of. What was there to be? For you to know that your boyfriend loves you so much that he finds your presence to be an excruciating turn on? That a simple peck on his lips drives him crazy? That a single hug made him want to devote the rest of his life to you? He knows this conversation will happen sooner or later. But, for right now, he’d prefer it later. 

Standing outside your apartment door, he unlocks the door with ease, pushing it gently open. Your car’s not outside, but you should be home soon according to your work schedule. He had forgotten some work from his last visit, wanting your company while he caught up on the tedious workload, but ultimately forgetting it by the time that he left. Entering your small abode, the chill of inside greatly contrasts the heat of outside as he shuts the door behind him. He kicks off his shoes, a habit of his as he makes a beeline straight to your bedroom. Your bedroom door is wide open and he can spot just what he needs right on the desk that he claims as his own as you barely use it. 

He reaches for the stack of paper when he takes notice of a flimsy piece of fabric lying on the ground. Letting go of the documents, the sound of his footsteps echo through the room. Bending on his knees, he picks up a pair laced white panties with a pink bow right at the center. It has pink trimmings and in Nanami’s hand, they feel silky to the touch. He curses to himself for this type of intrusion. You’ve come to trust him so much to give him a spare key to your apartment, but here he is violating it to hold your dirty pair of panties and having the nerve to get hard while he’s at it. 

“Fuck,” he curses, looking at the crotch of your undergarment to see a dirty patch of your discharge. The way he can feel his cock strain in his khaki work pants makes him feel embarrassed and dirty, his face heating up in a shade of red. However, he never throws down the flimsy garment. He doesn’t stop himself from bringing it up to his nose, taking a heavy waft to know what you smell like. The musky scent of sweat and the pungent scent of your discharge overflowing his senses is overwhelming, feeling how his cock twitches inside his pants. He lets out a stuttered breath, his free hand going to cup his erection in some sort of attempt to let go of some of the tension. 

Veins protruding his hands as he palms himself, hands running along his girth. He can feel precum leaking from his tip. He hisses with how the urethra runs against the cotton fabric of his boxer briefs, wanting relief from its confined torture. He used to think of himself as a better man than this, a man who wouldn’t succumb to lust. However, the longer he withholds himself from you, the stronger the urge and his resolve is breaking— or, it has already broken. 

He finds himself sitting on the very edge of your bed, toes curling as he brings himself to undo his belt, letting the buckle fall as he loosens it. He unzips his pants, providing further relief to himself before he’s shimmying out of his pants and underwear. His work shirt rides up, revealing the blonde happy trail that leads to his cock. A dark shaft in comparison to his bright pink head, it’s swollen with lust as he continues to drip of precum. 

Nanami glances at the clock sitting on the ivory-colored nightstand. You’ll be back in less than an hour, which should be ample of time to get himself off before disappearing. He just has to make sure that he cleans up after himself well. His heart races at the excitement, which only makes him more turned on for this endeavor. Cupping his balls, he fondles them before letting your panties drop, them landing on his lap before he drapes it around his length. It looks pretty like this, he can’t help but think. He fixes the next hole down his cock before gripping the base of his length. Spit pools in his mouth before it lands on his pelvis, making him swipe the glob down. He smears it down his length, painting himself with the innocent body fluid. 

The palms of his hand are cold, making him tense up as he hikes up one leg for the pad of his foot to rest on the edge of your bed frame. The metal digs into the heel of his foot as he sets a moderate pace, toes curling as he can only think about you. He imagines your plump lips wrapped around his length, taking him in so slowly as those beady eyes of yours would look at him so innocently. Batting your eyelashes at him while you have your mouth open, on your knees so pliantly as he guides his cock to your lips. Precum smeared over your lips just how you like to decorate your lips with gloss. They’d shine so beautifully and smell just like him, too. You’d work your mouth like a pro, taking him inch by inch and making his mouth fall open as he’d throw his head back. 

This is all he thinks about when he’s pumping his cock, his grip tightening as he can only imagine. It’s shameful with how quick that coil in his stomach approaches, a choked up gasp leaving his lips as his cock twitch. His hold tightens around the base as he uses the next hand to cup at his balls with your panties wrapped around it. He can imagine you wearing these, how they’d hug you so cutely.

You’d be stripping out of your clothes slowly, in an effort to tease. They’d work, too. Shredding each layer of clothing until you’re in nothing but those same pair of panties before sauntering over to him seductively. And when you’re in front of him, forcing him to look up at you as you push him to lay down. You’d crawl over his body, your bare breasts hanging freely as you rest your ass down on his pelvis. You’d grind your hips so sweetly wearing those white laced panties, pink trimmings and a pink bow right in the middle, telling him to claim his prize. 

You’d grind your hips amazingly, putting him in a trance as you have his cock aching for more than the rock of your hips. His fingers digging into your flesh before trying to bring you even closer to him. You’d manage to make him whimper out the most pathetically filthy whines and whimpers known to man. He knows it. He just knows it. 

He knows it by the drawn out moan he makes when he releases on the white tiles, spurting out a load that should be stuffed inside of you. He throws his head back, nearly slipping off the bed before he catches himself. It feels euphoric to let himself go, to give into his cravings for you. If only you were here though, he sighs. It feels pointless to voice that if the person he craves the most isn’t here. 

But, speaking of the devil, you’re parking next to his silver Lexus, your 2010 Honda looking shabby in comparison to the up-to-date vehicle that belonged to your boyfriend. You hum in content, your eyes lighting up in anticipation to see your boyfriend. Parking the car, you reach for your handbag as you climb out the vehicle. With the click of a button, your car is locked as you climb the two-story flight to your apartment. You’re out of breath by the time you’re in front of the door and fishing for the right key off of your keychain. 

He promised himself that it would be quick, but Nanami’s still fucking his fist. His carnal desire for you pouring throughout in this moment, not hearing the shuffle of the locks from your front door. So absorbed in this lustful moment as he squeezes the tip, his fingers coated in his seed as he quickens the pace. 

You can see his shoes resting in the right corner while you hang your bag on the rack and shimmy out of your cardigan, kicking off your flats gently. While he can’t hear you, you hear him— the deep sounds of his voice grunting and panting from afar. With furrowed eyebrows, confusion fills you before realization as you near your bedroom. The wet sounds of plat, plat, plat echoing as you take careful steps. Your heart races as your eyes widen when you take a peek inside of your bedroom to see the compromising state of your boyfriend. 

Sitting on your bed with his pants resting a bit above his knees. His cock, spent as he strokes it. You can see the jagged line of his cum squirted out on the floor, strays catching his pants and the rest dripping from his fist. Arousal pools immediately as you silently watch, clenching your thighs together as you shuffle on your footing. You’ve been unknowingly holding your breath, your face heating up as you watch this moment. Your mouth dries up, gulping as your eyes flicker to his length as you watch his languid movement. His hip bucking in further need. It’s then do you see the strikingly bright shade of white and hints of pink, falling under realization that he’s jerking off with your panties wrapped around him. Shit, you curse as you start to heave. You cup your heat in need, thighs trapping your hand as you grind into your digits. 

“Shit,” Nanami curses, calling out your name as he can feel his balls tighten and his legs stiffen. “Fuck, I need you.”

With another orgasm, it’s not as copious as the previous, the trail following a shorter path as he paints his hand in his seed. Hips stuttering, he brings himself to lean back, using his cleaner hand to hold up his weight to bring himself back to reality. A fog full of stars and ecstasy clouding his vision before it’s all cleared up. He thinks he’s alone. He thinks the coast is all clear until he’s sitting up and right at the door way you’re standing there. He gasps, calling out your name in shock.

You feel like a deer caught in headlights, but this is your apartment after all. Eyes dilated as your hand is still stuffed in between your legs, you let out a heavy breath. It’s nice to know that all your worries about your relationship seem to get relieved at this moment as you quickly become elated. 

You start to saunter towards him, just as he envisioned. Only, you’re fully clothed when you push him down on the bed. His eyes widen as he calls out, “Wait. I—”

You cut him off, taking his cum-coated hand and bringing it to your lips. Tongue sticking out, you clean him all up and all his worries dissipate as he curses once more, fuck. “Whatever it is, promise that we work through it together, ya?”

Nanami nods, speechless and he puts all of his trust in you and his cock hardens again. He was a fool to be so worried. Finally, he’s able to mutter out a single word. “Yeah, okay.”

subscriptions ── @r0ckst4rjk @kasukuna @satsattoru @blcknebula @tojirin

[rabidk9teeth]

“Well, alterhumans aren’t weird, they don’t ACTUALLY think they’re animals.”

“Us alterhumans know we’re human.”

FUCK NO? I AM AN ANIMAL. do not be afraid to be animalistic, to be yourself, to let your teeth show! we do not have to fit into any molds and we do not have to walk around on eggshells with the way we identify so we can others like us, fuck no.

it does not matter who thinks i’m weird, but in every way i can be, i am a canine. i want people to know that i am a dog and if they step on my tail i bite.

be yourself, it’s time to stop caring what others think, you want to wear a tail in public? WEAR IT. you want to dress more alternatively? DO IT. you want to be open about your identity? FUCK IT, BARK AT PEOPLE WHO HARASS YOU!!! OPEN UP! the people that truly matter will support you. i was afraid because all through middle school i was made fun of for being an alterhuman but i’ve reached a point in my life that i can not spend the rest of my time here on this earth afraid to be the version of myself i’m happy with.

so happy 2025, woof woof, stay wild.

[plethorawrites]

Guys! Clark has started to invade too!!! Anyway, today I was thinking about Smallville Clark Kent (personal go to when thinking about the character) with a new neighbor from the city...

---___---___---___---___---___---___---___---___---_

Clark Kent: Who sees you by the fence, petting his family's horses, and doesn't recognize you, which is odd because he recognizes everyone in such a small town.

Clark Kent: Who quickly realizes from the way you dress to the lack of an accent that you're not just new in town, but from some larger city that probably has apartment buildings with more tenants than the entire town has people.

Clark Kent: Who brushes off your apology for petting the horses, which you'd only done because you've never seen any in real life and couldn't resist how sweet they looked.

Clark Kent: Who watches you insist on going home to unpack instead of keep talking, but runs into you at school the next day and offers to show you around.

Clark Kent: Who you offer a ride home in your car as a thank you for being an extremely patient tour guide.

Clark Kent: Who accepts, under the condition that you let him show you the town too and when you tell him you pretty much have with how small it is, shakes his head and tells you there's a lot of places people don't know about aside from him or a few other kids.

Clark Kent: Who not only shows you his favorite places the next time you're both free, but also says he would be glad to teach you to ride, if you ever wanted.

Clark Kent: Who is thrilled when you take him up on it and spends several hours on a trail with you at a calm pace, keeping close in case anything suddenly spooked your horse. Although they were incredibly good horses so there weren't any problems.

Clark Kent: Who was fascinated by watching you slowly get more accustomed to the town—wearing clothes that were from a local boutique instead of a designer brand, engaging in the rather silly but beloved town traditions, even cutting off some of the friends from the city who you realized weren't really your friends at all after they once visited and immediately started making fun of Clark and his friends.

Clark Kent: Who was surprised at first, when you showed up at his family's door one day asking to help with the animals, but quickly got used to you coming over to help him feed or bathe them, which you claimed was your way of thanking him for the riding lessons but he suspected you just wanted an excuse to be with the animals.

Clark Kent: Who knew you'd fit in with his friends after they got over their own prejudice of you being rude or pretentious because you're from the city and likes hanging out with you with them but likes it just as much, maybe more, when everyone leaves and you're able to stay a bit longer in the barn.

Clark Kent: Who leans out the window next to you, enjoying the breeze as the sun sets and tells you he's glad you moved to Smallville.

Clark Kent: Who sees you shudder from the cold and instantly wraps his jacket around you, conveniently ignoring your blushing cheeks in case he was misreading the situation.

Clark Kent: Who still carefully tucks a piece of hair out of your face—while the voice in head screams not to ruin things—just to see it better and wets his lip while staring at yours.

Clark Kent: Who leans in slowly, waiting for the moment you'd slap him and walk out for daring to try something with you, but only sees you leaning in too.

Clark Kent: Who kisses you for the first time while you're in the barn, wearing his jacket, but promises himself then and there that it wouldn't be the last.

[xo-zozo]

libby grambs headcannons •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

a/n: and zoey rises from the dead once again... she's literlly the cutest patootie but she's also kind of hard to write headcannons for sooo if some of this is out of character please ignore- enjoy!

tags: @your-mommy-ems @arqbella @reminiscentreader @x-liv25-jamieswife @inmyheaddd

@alwaysthefangirl @clarissaweasley-10 @off-to-the-r4ces @annamatix @lyrakanefanatic

@123letsgobestie @hathorneheiress @midiosaamor (comment if you want to be added or removed)

let's get one thing straight, you can not tell me her body is not TEA

she watches animated tv shows from her childhood instead of anything else any other full grown adult would watch

she has an "i heart cowboys" tshirt and she is not afraid to wear it in public

tried to pick up electric guitar (it's up to you whether of not she was successful)

she likes goldfish (she just gives me the vibes idk)

one of her favorite movies is coraline and it's where she got the inspo to dye her hair blue

in general loves any tim burton movie (I KNOW CORALINE ISN'T TIM BURTON OKAY)

drags nash with her to the mall almost every weekend to buy new clothes that she doesn't really need

her babies are always either dressed like her or nash. do i need to elaborate?

back when they didn't have a lot of money she would go to trift stores and buy clothes for her future kids, this was inspired by a tiktok that i saw

she has a bunch of ear piercings but whenever she goes to get a new one she gets scared and needs to have someone there with her

she probably got into at least one fight in her high school days

hannah is the person who inspired her to work at the hospital, not only the fact that she was one too but she also wanted to be able to help people like hannah

she has one necklace that she never takes off

she's definitely a silver jewelry girl too

i know my girl can rock a good pair of black cowboy boots from time to time

she owns multiple pairs of crocs

she likes going to the zoo, and she was super excited to be able to take her kids there

sometimes her and avery hang out and all they do is play episode

nash is her number one hype man so whenever they go out he makes sure to get good pictures of her

she has an insane collection of cute pajamas

kinda a little question of the day but who do you think would walk her down the aisle on her wedding day?

[malvolios-yellow-stockings]

fellas is it gay to be a directionless lonely insomniac approaching your 30s without having accomplished heterosexual milestones of settling down and having kids and also not having an outlet to exorcise your feelings of loneliness, shame, dejection and inadequacy, being a faceless consumer in the age of neoliberal hegemony who is unable to form meaningful human connections or feel pleasure in any meaningful capacity. is it then gay to only be vulnerable in support groups where others believe you are dying or seriously ill, in groups where you are frequently embraced by other men who share your sense of urgency, in the only context where everyone can get over being temporarily embarrassed and ashamed of their flood of emotions?

is it then gayer that this scheme you built for yourself is obstructed when a woman disrupts the all-male group you go to and that woman is everything you don't want yourself to be - a "weak person", outwardly self-loathing and ironic, painfully self-aware, lethargic and hysterical at the same time, undoubtedly feminine and carelessly vulnerable and only violent towards herself, never others (maybe that she’s free in all the ways you are not)? is it gayer still that this disruption triggers the appearance of another "man" in your life who is your own edgy, idealised version of maleness, masculinity & manhood. (is it gay that you show your anger and jealousy towards this woman, expressing your distaste by saying “if only i had wasted a couple of minutes and gone to watch marla singer die and none of this would’ve happened” after your idealised man saves her from suicide and has sex with her very loudly so you can hear (“i could’ve moved to another room… where i might not have heard them. but I didn’t”?) Is it gayer still that you reject her advances multiple times later on while loudly expressing your disinterest in her sexually)

fellas is it gay that this man turns your life upside down, convincing you to found a club that by definition and principle excludes women (“it’s for men only”), where men intimately fight underground, in a dark basement on an increasingly regular basis and where your fighting partner is almost always different every time, where you recognize each other in the wild but are instructed not to be publicly open about your membership to this secret fraternity of sorts (almost resembling the dynamics of gay cruising and hook-up culture)? is it gay that your previous need to be embraced by men in a no-questions-asked context is replaced by the same but different mechanism/ritual, this time with expected, welcomed and consensual violence intricately tying your idea of freedom and therefore pleasure with pain? fellas is it gayer still that the guy who taught you to embrace and overcome that pain lives with you and kisses your hand before leaving a chemical burn there in a shape suspiciously resembling lips?

is it gay to semi-ironically describe your co-habitation with him as married life, comparing yourselves to ozzie and harriet while tying this guy's tie, this action making you the (house)wife of the pair, then later on basically imagining that he slaps your ass after handing you beer to serve other men with? is it really gay that you get jealous of the two people this idealised man you live with shows deference to interest in? first the woman you yourself previously showed no (outwardly sexual) interest in and who was established as a kind of a rival (wherein it was impossible for both of you to be satisfied in the same way at the same time, who invades your power animal coping mechanism sequences, and whom you later embrace as an ally and quite possibly a part of yourself) and then another guy whom you then monstrously, savagely beat after feeling an "inflamed sense of rejection" and explain ruining his body by saying you “felt like destroying something beautiful"? fellas is it gay that this idealised confident man dresses eccentrically and flamboyantly, accessorises rings and big colourful fuck-you-glasses, mesh shirts etc. going against the subdued yuppie masculinity of corporate male America, who is free in all the ways you aren't and who spews (and seduces you with) anti-social undercooked anti-capitalist rhetoric and pseudo-scientific cool guy bullshit which goes against mainstream society bro!, who uses his job/pass time as a projectionist to smuggle pornographic imagery into family films (and who represents your own violent subconscious lurking in you in the form of a penis appearing for less than a second right at the end of the film?) and who tells you that maybe neither of you need women in your lives, while you discuss your absent father figures. is it gay when he spits his own blood into the mouth of a presumed gangster telling the gangster "you don't know where i've been lou" in a time where the impact of AIDS is looming large and heavy over everyone, but is inextricably tied to gay/queer men and IV drug users?

is it gay (of the repressed, self-hating variety) to create a whole fella you can pine after and effectively beat yourself up after he picks you up to live with him and punch the lights out of another dude you recognize is beautiful because the imaginary best boy friend you created in your head, that being you, has possibly experienced homo lust which is becoming increasingly hard to suppress?

and fellas is it gay to want to be tyler and want him at the same time?

is it also gay when... [gunshot]

[apomaro-mellow]

Love a good rockstar eddie, how about rockstar au for the bingo?

Steddie Bingo Prompt: Rockstar AU

"You're on in five!"

Eddie smiled at himself in the mirror, looking himself over one final time. It was one TV appearance out of many. But this one was special to him. Once the last check on his makeup was done, he was led to the wings of the stage, waiting to be called on. He could feel the audience's buzz come to a crescendo as the host of the show came out and welcomed everyone.

Late night talk show hosts seemed a dime a dozen to Eddie. They all asked the same questions and the audience clapped at their lame jokes and Eddie felt like he was reading off a script the entire time. He kind of was, given that they obviously had to rehearse and screen the questions beforehand. But this host was different.

"Alright, let's give a big hand to our guest for tonight! Eddie Munson!"

Eddie walked out, both hands in the air as he waved to the studio audience as they roared for him. But once he turned to greet the host, he knew he wouldn't be looking anywhere else for the rest of this recording. Eddie usually gave handshakes to people he was meeting, as most did. Sometimes the ladies got a bow. And Eddie had reined himself in and done that the first time he met this host.

But now, for all the world to see, he took the man's hand, gave him a deep bow, and kissed the back of his hand. There were squeals in the audience, but Eddie swore he could hear an intake of breath from the man before him. Then, just as smooth as anything, they both found their seats, one behind a desk and one on a couch.

Steve Harrington. Dressed in a navy suit that made his skin seem like gold. To say Eddie was obsessed was an understatement. He'd seen a video that went viral two years ago, of Steve interviewing a young child actress. She was eight and they spent the interview coloring on his desk. Eddie knew he wanted to meet him then. But there was getting in the studio, shooting music videos, convincing his uncle to leave the trailer and move into the house he deserved to own, and of course, other interviews.

But through all that time, Eddie hardly missed an episode of Steve's show. It was the first time he’d ever paid more attention to the host than the person being interviewed. Didn’t matter who it was or how little Eddie cared about their career. It was all to see Steve’s bright smile, sparkling eyes, to hear his laugh and the little inflections in his voice. And now it was all directed at him.

They started with the softball questions of course, how his new album was going, if he had any hopes for the new year, how he spent the holidays. Eddie answered, enjoying talking with him but then he saw a glint in Steve’s eye.

“So you know we couldn’t have a musician on here without having them play a little song for us.”

“Ah, of course”, Eddie grinned, figuring they’d want a little sample of the new single as a guitar was brought out for him. But he should have known it wasn’t that straightforward as Steve brought out another guitar from under his desk and strapped it to himself.

Eddie raised a brow as he watched Steve tune his. Then Steve was looking at him again, smiling before he strummed a simple tune, one that started off soft but then got foreboding.

“~Lions, and tigers, and bears bring woe~ What animal is your natural foe~?”

Eddie beamed and got ready to rip into it. Admitting he was scared of ducks wasn’t entirely ideal. But he figured the audience would get a kick out of it. Besides, he was hoping that if he played his cards right (and this interview/jam session) he’d be leaving with Steve’s number.

@steddiebingo

Card:

[slaymitchabernathy]

Sick Day

| a companion to 'The Nanny' & also a request!|

Soarynn Snow feels that on most days, she's prepared for anything.

A scraped knee, a lost stuffed animal, a broken crayon. She can fix anything as long as she expects it to happen.

So when she wakes up next to her husband and feels how hot his forehead is, she is not prepared for Coriolanus to be sick. She's not surprised but she's never seen him get sick since the day she met him when she was hired as a nanny.

All three of the children were sick a while ago, something Ceraphina brought home from school and passed along to her siblings had the Snow household in shambles. While Soarynn juggled taking care of three children, Coriolanus locked himself away in his study so he could take care of the country.

Looks like he caught it a little later.

Soarynn pulls her hand away from his forehead and frowns, sitting up in their bed. She truly doesn't know what to do. He won't be pleased that he's sick, that he'll be forced to rest. He'll insist that he's fine, that he can do his job but he can't.

She looks back down at him and decides that the best route of action will be to let him sleep for as long as possible. She'll alert the correct people about his current state and they'll take it from there. She feels fine but these things come when you least expect them.

Soarynn quietly slips out of bed and pads into the bathroom, making sure to be quiet when going about her morning routine. She brushes her hair, does her little skincare routine before putting on some makeup, and then goes into the closet to get dressed. It's getting chillier so she chooses a long-sleeved dress for today.

When she comes back out, Coriolanus is still sound asleep which is a good thing. He works so hard, so late every day, maybe this is a good thing. He's always tired, even when he acts like he isn't. Soarynn has gotten good at seeing through his guarded facade.

She turns off the alarm clock so it doesn't wake him and gently scoops Petunia off the bed so she doesn't bother Coriolanus. "Time for breakfast," she whispers to the cat. Ceraphina has school today so she only has two children to care for until they pick Ceraphina up. But with Coriolanus sick, she technically has another child on her hands.

She still remembers how he acted when the children were sick. How he nearly lost his mind when Celeste coughed on the dinner rolls before passing one to him. "I cannot get sick," he had stressed to Soarynn after the children were put to bed, "we either need to quarantine the children or I can't leave my study."

Soarynn had rolled her eyes at the theatrics of it all but he was dead serious. He didn't leave his study for the rest of the week, taking all his meals and meetings in there. Soarynn had only visited once near the end of the week and he had a cot in there to sleep on. Never mind the fact that they had at least thirty guestrooms, no, he wanted to do things the hard way and she was more than happy to let him.

"Let's see how today goes," she mumbles to herself.

How bad can it be?

꧁ ꧂

When Soarynn visits Coriolanus after breakfast, he looks like a sick, feeble child during the war.

He's paler if that's possible, propped up against every pillow they have in their bed. Despite his preference to sleep shirtless, he's wearing a thick pullover and his hands shake when he takes the mug of warm tea she brought from him.

"Thank you, darling," he croaks, sniffling under the covers. Soarynn hums and runs her fingers through his golden curls, "You're welcome. I'm sorry you're sick, I know you hate missing out on things."

Coriolanus grumbles at the thought of missing a day of work. He had tried to leave their bedroom but Eudora caught him and sent him right back to bed, assuring him that all would be taken care of.

Soarynn had called Quintus who called everyone else to say that Coriolanus was sick and would be spending the next forty-eight hours in bed. Not working, not moving, doing absolutely nothing.

He hates it, she can see it in his eyes how much he hates this.

"I feel like I'm dying," he groans, leaning his head back, "my nose, my throat, my head. Did I ever tell you about writing you into my will? I might not make it so it's imperative that you know what you'll inherit."

Soarynn keeps herself from laughing at his dramatic attitude. The doctor already visited Coriolanus and confirmed her suspicions, a common cold. And Coriolanus is convinced that he has the plague.

"No," she tells him, grabbing the cool washcloth from the bowl she brought for him, "you didn't tell me about writing me into your will, but I appreciate you looking out for me." She brings the washcloth to his forehead and he closes his eyes, sighing heavily, "A man takes care of his family," he mumbles.

Soarynn nods, he takes wonderful care of all of them, "Yes he does, and now we get to take care of you," she sweetly reminds him. She'd be lying if she said this wasn't an exciting moment for her to finally be the one calling the shots for the two of them. Taking care of her husband is something she's rarely ever done.

"Now drink the rest of your tea so you can go back to bed."

Coriolanus does as he's told, gulping down the rest of the tea she made for him to soothe his throat. Soarynn pulls the washcloth away and sets the bowl on the bedside table before grabbing a tissue, "Try blowing your nose?"

Coriolanus cracks an eye open and gives her a look, "I'm not a child," he grumbles, snatching the tissue from her. Soarynn smiles and watches him blow his nose despite his attitude, "I know, the children didn't complain nearly as much as you have," she says, making him gasp.

"I'm sick," he reminds her, his voice raspy, "sick and dying."

Soarynn pulls the covers further up and gives his hand a squeeze, "We're all dying if you really think about it, and you'll be fine Coryo. Just rest, everything has been taken care of." He doesn't look too convinced but he lets her tuck him into bed and hands her the empty mug, "I think I might need a kiss to feel better," he says, shamelessly flirting with her even on his deathbed.

Soarynn chuckles, he's good, she'll give him that, "I can't darling," she tells him, "I can't get sick too, I have things to do." He immediately catches onto what she's doing, how she's acting how he did when the children were sick and he didn't want to catch it. "Fine," he pouts, "leave me then to die."

Soarynn kisses her fingertips and presses them to his cheek, "I'll see you later my brave man."

Soarynn leaves their bedroom with a smile on her face, ignoring his heavy sighs. He'll be fine.

꧁ ꧂

The doctor delivered some medicine when Soarynn was getting back from picking up Ceraphina with the children. "It'll speed up the process," he tells her. Soarynn nods, taking the small bottle from him, Coriolanus will be pleased to have such a quick recovery.

"Thank you," she says, "we'll go give it to him right now. Do you all want to say hello to your father?" All three children nod, especially Celeste and Caspian who made Coriolanus cards to help him feel better.

The children have been worried about him. After Livia's death, any sickness scares them even though Soarynn assures them that he is perfectly fine. Dramatic but fine.

"We can give Daddy our cards!" Celeste says, already running up the stairs. Ceraphiana follows behind her while Soarynn and Caspian slowly make their way up the stairs. Caspian has entered the "I can do it Momma" phase where he insists on doing everything by himself. Even if it takes ten times longer than it usually would.

So it's a slow walk up the stairs, but Soarynn doesn't mind. She's so proud of her baby boy for doing things by himself, growing up to be big and strong.

They finally reach the top where the girls are impatiently waiting outside of the bedroom doors to their parent's bedroom. Coriolanus has reprimanded them several times for barging into their room in the morning, mostly because he and Soarynn like to partake in morning sex and they don't need the children seeing that.

So now they wait outside for someone to let them in.

"We have to be quiet," she says to the children, holding up a finger to her lips, "he's very tired." She quietly opens the doors and they tiptoe to the bed where Coriolanus is passed out. Petunia who was sleeping on the foot of the bed wakes up when she smells more people and does a big stretch before padding up to where Coriolanus is sleeping.

"Daddy looks so white," Ceraphina whispers, "is he a ghost now?"

Soarynn smiles, shaking her head, "No, although he's convinced he's going to become one."

Soarynn gently places a hand on her husband's cheek, rubbing her thumb back and forth until he begins to wake up. He mumbles something before his piercing blue eyes open up and he takes in the sight of his entire family watching him sleep.

"Have you come to see me off?" He asks with a scratchy voice.

Celeste gasps and Soarynn gives him a sharp look, "You are not dying Coriolanus," she scolds, "and we brought you medience."

"And cards," Caspian adds, holding up his card for Coriolanus to see.

Coriolanus sits up with a groan and runs a hand through his tangled curls, "Well aren't I a lucky man then hmm?"

Celeste throws all caution out of the window and pulls herself onto the bed, crawling over to her father who immediately pulls her into his lap, "Have you been behaving for your mother?" He asks, rubbing her back. Celeste nods and looks at Soarynn for backup, "Yes Daddy. We made you cards, look!"

Celeste shows him the pink card she made for him. She drew flowers on the front and on the inside she drew a picture of him. Soarynn and Eudora did their best to refrain from laughing when she requested a white crayon to draw Coriolanus. Coriolanus takes the card from her small hand and makes little comments about the different flowers she drew, "Such an artistic hand," he says, opening the card.

His face falls when he sees how Celeste chose to draw him and Soarynn covers her mouth to keep from laughing, "Oh darling," he says, furrowing his brows, "I think you drew me with the wrong colored crayon."

Celeste cranes her neck and looks at the drawing she made of him, "No I didn't. Your skin is white," she tells him, poking his face, "so I used the white crayon."

Coriolanus looks up at Soarynn who does her best to keep a neutral expression, "Caspian made you a card too," she says, bending down to pick Caspian up. He's less interested in being on their bed, mostly because he loves his own big boy bed but he does hold out his card to Coriolanus who gingerly takes it.

The front of the yellow card is blank but when Coriolanus opens it he sees a large drawing of Lenny the lion. "Ah, Lenny, what a realistic portrait of him Cas," Coriolanus says, ruffling Caspian's blonde hair. Caspian smiles proudly, "Lenny go roar!"

Soarynn and Coriolanus chuckle at Caspian's demonstration of how a lion sounds, "I didn't make you a card 'cause I was at school Daddy," Ceraphina tells him, climbing onto the bed as well, "but I thought about you the entire time," she adds sweetly, batting her lashes.

Coriolanus grins and lets out a yawn, "Thank you, darling, I already feel much better in your presence."

Soarynn looks at the small bottle in her hands, it's filled with tablets, and says that he should take one in the morning and one in the evening. Well, might as well get him started. She twists open the cap and shakes out a single pill, "Here," she holds out her hand to him, "you need to take these twice a day if you want to start feeling better."

Celeste takes the pill out of Soarynn's hand, inspecting it, "Why do you need medicine, Daddy?" Coriolanus takes it from her and throws it into his mouth, dry swallowing it, "So I can feel better by tomorrow," he answers. Soarynn rolls her eyes and sets the bottle on the bedside table, "I highly doubt you'll be feeling better by tomorrow," she argues, taking Caspian into her arms when he tugs on her dress.

The girls snuggle with Coriolanus a little longer until he starts getting sleepy again, "Let's give your father some time to rest," she says softly, "you can see him again before bedtime."

The girls seem hesitant to leave their father in this sick state but he gives them a tired smile, "I'll be okay," he promises, "be good to your mother."

The girls slip out of the bed and follow Soarynn out of the room, only glancing back once at Coriolanus who's already fallen asleep. "Is Daddy gonna stop talking like Mommy did?" Celeste asks, grabbing at Soarynn's hand. Soarynn gently squeezes her little hand, "No sweetheart, he's going to be just fine."

They spend the rest of their afternoon coloring and helping Cerpahina with her homework. Math is something Coriolanus usually helps out with when he has time but Soarynn manages to get through it without wanting to rip her hair out.

Coriolanus will feel better soon and then he can deal with math homework. That's something she holds onto like a lifeline.

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn lets the water run over her face and down her body, rinsing off the day.

Coriolanus would normally join her but he's so big and if he were to fall, she wouldn't be able to pick him up. Which is why he's in the bathtub, sulking. Soarynn peers through the glass walls and giggles when she sees him sitting in the tub, arms crossed with a scowl on his face. "Enjoy yourself in there," he grumbles when he catches her, "without me."

Soarynn shakes her head, men are such babies.

She turns off the shower and opens the door, shivering at the cold air but she's quick to climb into the tub with him. His change in demeanor is remarkable. He goes from sulking to smiling like a schoolboy, immediately grabbing her and pulling her into his lap, settling her legs between his own.

"You're very high maintenance, you know that?" She asks, leaning her head against his chest when he grunts in agreement, "There's one in every relationship darling," he sighs which turns into a sneeze.

Soarynn doesn't hesitate to turn and wipe his nose with her hand, causing him to make a twisted face, "What?" She asks with a smile, he acts as if she helped him go to the bathroom instead of just wiping his nose.

"Nothing," he shrugs, "just, Livia never took care of me like this, wiping my snot with her bare hands and all that. It's just nice to be taken care of."

Soarynn smiles, settling back into his chest, "Well you always take care of me," she points out, "and if I can swallow your cum then I can wipe away your snot."

Coriolanus gives her a squeeze and she feels him kiss the back of her head, "Thank you, darling, I truly don't deserve you."

Soarynn often feels the same way about him, often wondering if this is all some big joke, if one day he'll ask for his ring back. But he hasn't, and she doesn't think this is a joke.

"You deserve someone to love you," she tells him softly, "in sickness and in health, remember?"

Coriolanus hums, remembering the vows they said in front of all of Panem as their witness. He certainly has kept up his side of the vows, loving her despite her inability to give him more children.

Soarynn lifts her feet out of the water and rests her toes on the edge of the tub, she has to stretch a bit to reach but it feels nice to prop her feet up. Coriolanus mirrors her and does the same, resting his feet on top of hers with ease, no stretching needed. This entire bathroom was made for a man like him, tall and big.

Soarynn giggles when he wiggles his toes, admiring her red nail polish. She usually does a light pink or white but she went with red for the holidays and has yet to take it off. And Coriolanus loves it when she wears anything red so that's a nice bonus.

"Hmm, well maybe I'll get you sick," he teases, "and then I'll be the one taking care of you." Soarynn shakes her head, he's always been so competitive, even in sickness apparently, "I thought you were on your deathbed," she reminds him, "dead people can't get other people sick."

Coriolanus sighs, kissing her shoulder, "Well, I'm very special," he tells her, "and apparently white as a sheet according to Celeste."

Soarynn laughs when she remembers him seeing the card for the first time, "She was so proud of it," she tells him through tears, "and in her defense, you do look very pale when you're sick."

Coriolanus squeezes her waist, "And what crayon does she use for you then?"

Soarynn slyly glances up at him, a grin already on her lips, "The peach-colored crayon, you know, for my beautiful tan skin." Coriolanus is the one rolling his eyes now but she's not lying, Coriolanus literally pales compared to Soarynn's tan complexion.

"Not a bad way to end your day though," she points out, "in the bath. With me."

Most nights Soarynn bathes or showers alone while Coriolanus is still working. This is a treat as special as any.

"No," he murmurs, nuzzling her neck, "not a bad sick day at all."

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

| taglist: @strawberriicakes @wonderlandbound111 @villiansarehottest @kickmybark @thevoicesinmyprettylittlehead @melodyoflovee @erensrealgf |

[honeyjars-sims]

Part 2 Prologue #2: Goatzilla vs. The Influencer

In addition to the chickens, Gail and Ellie bought a mini goat. Since I’ve been helping out a lot with the animals, they said I could name her. I went with Goatzilla–"Zilla" for short. She’s a big hit with the kids in the community, and even Taco seems to like her. 

I’m taking care of Zilla when I spot two of my neighbors near the greenhouse. I’ve seen them around but we haven’t officially met. Judging by their resemblance to one another, I assume they’re sisters and they appear to be around my age.

The blonde one is dressed for the hot weather in a crop top and skirt, but she doesn’t look ready for outdoor labor. She has a full face of makeup, long nails, and her clothes are clean and freshly ironed. The brunette looks more in place in ripped jeans and boots, both lightly dusted with dirt.

She’s holding a pink glittery cell phone in her hands that I can only assume belongs to her sister.

“Okay, I want it to look casual, like you just happened to catch me looking this way,” the blonde tells her while striking a pose I’m sure I’ve seen on Simsta somewhere. 

“I’m pretty sure people will know that it’s staged,” her sister complains.

“Oh my God, just take the picture, Glynnis!”

Glynnis sighs and holds up the phone just as Zilla scurries towards her sister’s skirt, which apparently looks like something good to much on.

“AHH,” the blonde screams. “He’s eating my CLOTHES!” 

I shoo Zilla away as the girls sit down on a nearby wooden swing. 

“She,” I correct the blonde. “Zilla is a girl. Sorry she ruined your photoshoot. And your skirt.”

“It’s fine,” Glynnis tells me. “I told her she shouldn’t have photoshoots near the animal pen if she doesn’t want to get dirty.”

“I think my skirt’s okay,” the blonde says as she smooths it out. She looks up at me. “I’m Hollis. I think I’ve seen you around. And this is my sister, Glynnis.”

“Nice to meet you both. I’m Johnny. And I guess you’re acquainted with Zilla.”

Hollis laughs. “I’ll say! You live with that hot Tartosan guy, right?”

“Uh yeah, that’s Paul,” I tell her.

“Cool. How long have you two been together?” 

I can feel my cheeks getting hot. “Oh, we’re not…together,” I explain. “We’re just roommates.”

“Oh, sorry,” Hollis responds. “I just assumed. Does that mean you're both single then?”

“Hollis, stop,” Glynnis pipes up.

“What? I’m just asking.”

“Yeah, we’re both single,” I tell Hollis. “So, what’s the photoshoot for?”

“Oh, just my Simsta,” she says, waving her hand nonchalantly. “People seem to enjoy the outdoorsy pics. Or at least that’s what the algorithm tells them they like.”

“Ah, yes, the algorithm,” I say, and we nod in solidarity like we’re speaking in a secret code language. Glynnis rolls her eyes.

Taco strolls over and mews loudly at Hollis, excited for the opportunity to receive attention from a new person. Hollis leans down to pet her.

“What a cute baby,” she says. Taco purrs and jumps into her lap. 

“That’s my cat, Taco,” I tell her. “She’s very affectionate.” Taco mews louder.

“And talkative, too! Ooh, would you mind if I took a few pics with her? Cats always get lots of engagement.”

“That’s cool with me,” I respond. I look at Taco. “Did you hear that? You’re gonna be famous on Simsta!” Taco lets out another big meow and we all laugh at her comedic timing.

Glynnis takes a few snaps of Hollis with Taco, who I have to say killed her first photoshoot. 

“Thanks for letting me borrow your cat,” Hollis says afterward.

“No problem! She’s just happy for the attention. Oh, by the way, my sister and I are having a little get together for our birthday here this weekend. Gail said we can use the seating area by the food truck to set up. Feel free to come by if you’re around.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Hollis says, and Glynnis nods in agreement.

“Cool, see you around!”

“See you!”

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[demonio-fleurs]

what’s with the rev army and animal motifs?

[lucalicatteart]

A few little sketches of some possible school uniforms for mage schools/learning centers for magic/etc. :0c Though because Nanyevimi is so scattered and disconnected, it'd actually vary much more by region (like not everywhere would have a cultural concept of what a suit jacket or neck tie looks like lol), so it's probably unrealistic for so many of them to follow too many traditional Uniform Conventions from cultures in our world, etc. But, still, fun to mess around with designs, and think about which would be most fun to wear/what school you'd go to just based off the clothing lol~

[akkivee]

we grow ever closer to disney princess harai kuukou

[mint-mumbles]

Gonna use this image any time someone says something low key sexist about Sable (ie "she's showing too much skin" regarding a fucking bathing suit 😭🤦)

I don't hear you complaining about Spirit 😭

[sachermorte]

so the thing about english is that people think it's so divorced from other germanic languages based on like. words. I've even heard people try to insist that english is a romance language. because of that whole messy business in 1066 with out-of-wedlock willy and his band of naughty normans. and now a good chunk of the vocabulary is french or whatever and they're prestigious so not using them makes you sound like a rube and this and that and the other

and yes william the conqueror will never be safe from me. I will have my revenge on him. he fucked up a perfectly good germanic language is what he did. this will be me in hell

but the thing is that most words in, say, german do have a one to one english equivalent. not all hope is lost, for those who still dare to see it. it's just that you 1066pilled normancels aren't looking in the right place

dog (en) ≠ der Hund (de) but der Hund (de) -> hound (en)

look with your special eyes. that one was easier. not all of them are this intuitive because of semantic narrowing and broadening and waltzing and hokey-pokeying and whatever else. I'll give you a few more

animal (en) ≠ das Tier (de)

aha! you think. I've got him on the ropes now.

but then

das Tier (de) -> deer (en)

nooooo!! you whine and cry in gay baby jail. the consonants are different!!! listen to me. listen, I say, putting both my hands on your shoulder. /t/and /d/ are the same sound. you just put your voice behind one of them.

nooooooooo!! you wail. deer are animals but not all animals are deer!!! listen to me. LISTEN. they used to be. animals used to be deer. that's just what we called them. it was a long time ago. it was a weird time in all our lives. it's okay.

let's try for a verb this time

to die (en) ≠ sterben (de) but sterben (de) -> to starve

same principle with the consonants, we're just changing a stop (where we completely stop the airflow and then let it through) for a fricative (where we still let some air go through. idk where it's going. maybe to its job or something.)

to starve used to mean generally to die, not just to die of malnourishment. we do that a lot. we take one word for a lot of things and make it mean one thing. or take one word for one thing and make it mean a lot of things. this is common and normal.

"okay but roland," you say, suddenly coming up with an argument. "what about tree? trees are super common. I don't think we'd fuck around too much with that. the german word is baum! what about THAT?"

"when did you learn german?" I ask, but then decide it isn't relevant right at this very moment. but fine.

tree (en) ≠ der Baum (de) but der Baum (de) -> beam (en)

beam??? you ask incredulously. beam???? BEAM?????? you continue with the same tone and cadence of captain holt from brooklyn 99.

yes. beam. like the evil beams from my eye I'm going to hit you with if you don't stop shouting.

but the vowels!!! you howl.

listen. listen to me. the vowels mean nothing. absolutely nothing. they're fluid like water. it got raised in english.

"WHAT DOES RAISED MEAN"

it doesn't matter right now. they were raised better than you, at least. stop shouting. open your eyes and see what god has given you. they're the same word.

"they're NOT the same word. they mean different things!"

we've been over this. they didn't used to. a beam was (and is) a long solid piece of wood. much like the long solid piece of wood I showed your mother last night.

FAQ:

Q: could english be some kind of germanic-romance hybrid?

A: do you become a sexy thing from the black lagoon just because you dressed up as one for halloween? english may have gotten a lot of vocabulary from norman french, but its history and syntax are distinctly germanic. that's what we base these things on.

Q: okay but what does it matter? this doesn't actually affect my day to day life

A: you come into my house? you come into my house, the house of an autistic man living in vienna austria and studying english linguistics and you ask me what does it matter? sit back down. I was going to let you go but now I have powerpoints to show you

Q: you're stupid and wrong and gay and a bad person

A: I know it's you, Willy

[kismetlotts]

call of duty p-links -`◇´-

♡︎ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴅᴏᴠᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴀᴛ ♡︎

18/21+, MDNI, mature themes

triggering, upsetting and explicit content below

proceed at your own risk ⬏

Simon Ghost Riley

Riding Colleague Simon Riley and watching his cold, harsh exterior shatter, revealing this broken, needy man beneath who almost submits to tears when you finally lock eyes.

Ex boyfriend Simon Riley who spits on his fingers and stuff them inside you when you beg-plead him to stop stalking you and raping you.

Boyfriend Simon Riley who drags you into a random room at a gathering before fucking you hard and trying to stay quiet, he doesn't care that people are in the other room, he doesn't care that someone could walk in because he needed you there and then.

Hopping into the bath with your roommate Simon because you were way too impatient, you needed him inside you desperately- he can just wash his grimy, sweaty, work-orientated body later.

Taxi Driver Simon Riley who cant help but give in to his sick desires as he hops in the back to fuck you, ripping off that skimpy little dress you were wearing and pulling your hair.

Heartbroken best friend Simon who fucks you in the kitchen after sleeping over your house, relieving some of his post break-up blues and stress with the help of your sloppy tight cunt.

Toxic boyfriend Simon who fucks his cock into your mouth when you wouldn't let him in your pussy, making your eyes water and your body twitch in regret.

Sex deprived Husband Simon who breeds you the moment he returns home, he had been loyal to you while away on deployment and he just couldn't contain himself when he finally had the chance to bury himself in your wet gooeyness.

Toxic Boyfriend Simon who fucks you hard to let off all of his steam, spanking, slapping and hitting your body because he was fucking pissed at you and nothing else could calm him down- you deserved it anyway you fucking whore.

Captain John Price

Boss Price who calls you into his office for some steamy cunnilingus when everyone is packing up ready to go home, lapping his teeth around your clit and diving his wet tongue into your greedy hole- let him have a taste, its the least you can do for your boss.

Birthday-boy boyfriend John who walks into the bedroom to see you all wrapped and tied for him, completely at his mercy in white material-prepped and ready for him to use or disrespect.

Stepdad Price stuffing your hole and leashing you up while your mother is away with work, treating you like some stupid fucking bitch and forcing you to do exactly what he tells you since he is in charge and you abide by his rules.

Older boyfriend John who proposes that the two of you start by doing mutual masturbation, he didn't want to scare his young pretty girl off just yet with how rough he can be and his fingers were already itching to feel the inside of your fresh pussy.

Husband Price who fucks you deeper when you beg for it, pounding into you so hard his eyes are shining with pleasure and legs are aching in tiredness, feeling your wetness drip out and coat his dick filling the room with your heavenly squelches- so wet and so fucking feminine.

Friends with benefits John Price who fucking loves watching your arse shake and jiggle with every thrust, he loved your arse in general and was always happy to bite, eat, fuck, taste and finger it- but nothing beats the tasty sight of your cheeks swaying beneath him as he absolutely wrecks you.

Dads best friend Price who fucks you like an animal in heat, if you had taken a second longer to undress your clothes would be ripped to shreds ad hanging off you with how badly he couldn't wait-he didn't even give a shit your heels were still on because he had waited a lifetime to get inside you.

Toxic Husband John who drags you over his lap and toys with you for his own pleasure, smirking to himself when you cry from his spanks and whimper from his fingers- giving his sweet baby a little treat and punishment at the same time because he couldn't understand which one he liked more.

Step dad Price who is way to desperate for you to cum on his fingers, soak his hand in your cum and just to let yourself go, be taken care of and protected by an older male- who cares if it is wrong or not- he just wants his darling daughter to be happy and calm.

Johnny Soap Mactavish

Stalker Johnny who rearranges your guts fast and hard against your bed as soon as he gets his chance, meaty thick cock ramming its way inside with no care as he shamelessly blabbers on how you are his sweet little dove and that he thanks god for giving him this opportunity- you'll never know how badly he actually wanted his hands on you.

Greedy Hook-up Mactavish who makes you squirt just so it feels better for him, your folds leaking and dribbling with your essence but Johnny only cared about the warmth coating and lubricating his tip, making you so sodden it seemed he was sliding into warm, soft, melted, butter.

Best friend Johnny who proves you wrong when you assume hes lying about being able to make any girl cum by just his fingers, dragging you onto his bed and fingering you steadily, mouth salivating in thirst as he watches your cum propel outwards and squirt all over his sheets.

Perverted Boyfriend Johnny who cant stop himself from sucking harshly on your nipples, mind already engrossed with sick fantasies of drinking your milk, you cupping him in your arms and feeding him gently like the good boy he is for you- you'd never find out though, to you he was just teasing your breasts, sucking, pinching and having a little fun, totally normal.

Step Brother Mactavish who fucks you in his room late at night, the pints he'd had previously making him increasingly more open and confident than usual, his tip hitting the spot you craved it to his gaining a small little spank from you and a whisper to keep quiet- you cant let mummy and daddy hear the two of you.

Childhood Best Friend Johnny who fucks you so hard you squirt all over yourself and him, finally seeing him after so many years and letting him fuck your ass had gotten you so excited you couldn't hold yourself back- Johnny wasn't fucking complaining each squirt that shot out of you made him almost cum- fucking your tight hole on the brink of orgasm, he never would've guessed you were capable of that.

Perverted neighbour Johnny who invites himself in to show you just how trained his tongue is, guiding it all over your thighs and pussy, working you easily and calmly it has your eyes watering in delight.

Simons best friend Johnny who fucks you in Simons bedsheets, thick dick filling you up more than his ever could until your left a collapsed mess in ecstasy, the scent of your boyfriend on the duvet and the groans coming from his best mate sent guilt straight to your stomach but it was already overwritten by pleasure- Disgusting fucking tramp sleeping with other guys and enjoying it.

Kyle Gaz Garrick

Boyfriend Kyle who just wants to feel your soft lips on his monster cock, he would never force you to do anything you didn't want to do and it would be silly to ask you to suck him- but could you please at least spit over the tip or maybe just lick it a little?

Roommate Gaz who cant survive the day without a morning quickie, your arse bouncing right in front of him and hole lustfully swallowing his juicy dick gets him in the perfect mindset for his hard work, morning television roaring in the background as you both chase your orgasms- you don't mind, do you?

Boyfriend Kyle who fucks you as fast as he can the second he hears 'faster' spew from your glossy lips, his stamina and pace unmatchable and sometimes you feel like you're about to explode with how powerful he is, Kyles a sweetheart but he isn't always so soft, slow and romantic- the man can fuck like a king.

Husband Kyle who has an obsession with filling your stomach with his massive cock, seeing the thick outline of himself through your skin deep in your stomach stirred something up inside him, fucking you harder and harder sometimes you bleed from his accidental roughness, it set him alight watching it bulge- made his savage side snap into action.

Konig

Obsessive stalker Konig who watches your window as you shower and finally builds up enough courage to join and fuck you in it one day, picking you up from behind and slipping inside your warm homey hole, drool falling from his mouth and onto your shoulder as you cried, he didn't understand why you were so adamant for him to get off of you and stop making love to you, it was no big deal- if he made you dirty and sweaty again he will just help you wash again.

Step Brother Konig who rapes you while you sleep and accidentally creampies your hole once you wake up and whimper, he didn't mean to cum honestly, he whispers apologies and a long string of worried 'fucks' as he pulls apart your cheeks watching his semen leak out of you- please don't be angry at him.

Boyfriend Konig who makes sure to use three or four of his fingers to stretch you out and prepare you for his cock, its just that big- he will kiss you on the cheek, licking away your salty tears of pain while he fucks his fingers until you, it is only a matter of time until you grow accustomed to the feeling- it will only hurt for a little more you just have to trust him.

Perverted Boyfriend Konig who fucking loses it when he sees you in your cute innocent frilly little panties, not being able to hold back his groans and his cum as he absolutely saturated them, painting them white- it is okay though, he promises to buy you a new pair- only if you let him keep these used ones- for personal reasons of course.

Brothers best friend Konig who selfishly ruts against your clothed pussy at night, breathing heavily and shaking as his precum soaks through the cotton of your panties, the room pitch black from the darkness aside from your lamp and he was supposed to be sleeping next door on the floor with your brother but here he was- sick look in his pleasure-ridden eyes as he looks down at you- whispering for you to just go back to sleep- he promises he wont go inside.

Philip Graves

Boss Graves who spanks your ass repeatedly when you disobey his orders, you work for him and you do exactly what he fucking says- there should be no 'Why's or 'No's it is 'Yes Sir' or else you are staying behind at the end of the day, and trust him when he says he will not be letting you leave until he is satisfied that you have learnt your lesson.

Toxic Boyfriend Philip who honestly does not give a fuck if you are tired or not, he will touch you, eat you, fuck you and rape you if he has to because to be in a relationship with him is an honour that you are taking for granted- he will treat you however he wants- at the end of the day your just a piece of pussy.

Boyfriend Philip who loves your perfect little nipples, he loves squeezing them, pinching them- sucking, biting- you name it and he loves it, he loves when you were silly little tank tops around the house that shows them pointing through and he loves when you let him cum on them- the minute he come face to face with your breasts and nipples, its like the world melts away.

Manipulative, Insane Boss Graves who hates when you crawl away from him and his hard cock- you know you want it, he can see it in your big doe eyes, its fuels him with rage when you cry and threaten to report him if he puts it inside you so he threatens your job back, promising you that if you ever told anyone or reported him that he would come for you and no matter how fast you tried to escape that he would always outrun you.

Husband Graves who upsets you during an argument so he decides to tug your panties down and fuck you in all the ways you love just before bed, his breath hot on your neck and sweat forming under both of your pyjamas from how fast his cock was entering you- the music of your panting and the scent of sex in the air made it safe to say neither of you got much sleep but at least he is back in your good books.

[motomamita]

viking!könig × female!villager!reader

warnings: smut, +18, possesive!könig, breeding kink, kidnapping, mentions of rape and virginity!!

Viking!König who, along with his warriors, disembark in a small village located by the sea. Dressed in animal skins, swords and armor, they enter the village to loot and destroy everything within their reach.

It is then that he manages to spot a small house at the top of a small mountain, not far from all the others. Upon reaching the field, he notices a female figure coming out of the small garden with a basket of tomatoes. It was you, dressed in a long white skirt, a beige shirt and a scarf around your head. You look like an angel fallen from heaven, so harmonious and calm, totally different from König's rude figure.

It doesn't take you long to notice that tall, burly man at the entrance to your home, who seems anything but pleasant. You recognize their clothing and the bad intentions that characterized the vikingos. An expression of terror was marked on your face and you immediately ran into your home, shouting your father's name and without letting go of the basket of tomatoes.

Konig's stomach twisted in a feeling of excitement at your reaction, feeling powerful at the fear of the rest of the people seeing him. With his long, muscular legs, he followed your steps to the interior of the home where a series of murmurs welcomed him.

In the humble living room there was an adult couple who looked somewhat sick and next to them was you, who covered 2 small children no more than 6 years old with your body. König was tall and in good shape compared to your family, who apparently barely had enough to eat.

"Please, don't hurt us.." sobbed your mother, who brought her skinny hands to her chest, begging.

"We don't have anything valuable, you can check for yourself." Your father spoke now, pointing around you. König began to walk around the room, observing everything around him and verifying that there was nothing there that would be useful to him. "The only thing we can offer him are vegetables and fruits from our garden. Daughter, give him the basket of tomatoes!" Your father ordered, hoping that König would agree and leave as soon as possible.

You stepped forward timidly and held out the basket with the tomatoes to him, taking a distance and with your hands trembling. König looked down at you, smiling slightly at your fear and how you couldn't maintain eye contact with his cold blue eyes. He reached his hand to the basket and took a tomato, it had a good size and color. Without thinking he brought it to his mouth and tasted a little of it, not caring how the juice fell from his lips to his bushy beard.

"And then? What do you think? If you want, you can take the whole basket, it's all yours!" Your father insisted.

To tell the truth, that tomato was delicious but you were even more so. "I'll take everything from the garden... And your daughter too." König spoke for the first time, generating a shiver throughout your body.

"No problem. Girl, put on some shoes and go!" Your father spoke coldly, capable of doing everything possible to defend his family, even if it meant giving you away to an unknown Viking.

You sobbed and screamed that they wouldn't let you leave with him, with König, but your father did nothing but raise his voice even more and even try to hit you. Your mother and your brothers cried in silence, observing the situation with sadness but without intervening on your behalf. The decision was already made, you were now König's property.

It was widely said that the Vikings came to the villages not only to plunder but also to rape their women and then return to their more 'relaxed' ways. Luckily for you, or not, that had not been the case for you. No, König didn't just see you as a hole to fill with his powerful semen. But as his property, as something to take care of and defend from the other Vikings who had no intention of formalizing with any woman. He wanted to be the only one with something to fight for and stay alive. And, soon, with whom to form a small family of warriors.

During the short time you had to gather your few things, your father took it upon himself to inform König of all the good things you had to offer. You knew how to wash, cook, heal, and, best of all, you were a virgin. That last one excited König even more, who was excited by the idea of ​​being the first (and only) to be between your legs.

You boarded a large ship with your wrists handcuffed to prevent you from escaping and an old cloth bag with some items of clothing. According to König, none of that would help you in the cold climate of traveling over the sea, plus he wanted you not to wear underwear.

"Look guys! König brought us this sweetness to share!" one of the Vikings exclaimed, making all the men's hungry gazes turn towards you. You sobbed at the idea of ​​having to serve as a sexual slave for all those scary Vikings but that idea quickly disappeared when you noticed how König approached the man and growled: "don't go near her." Reporting that you were not a common asset to the crew, but his alone.

That same night you slept next to König in a more exclusive room than the rest of the men, who all slept in the same crowded place. You noticed that he had a higher rank than the rest, therefore you had certain advantages over the others. Luckily for you, König explored your body externally, caressing your breasts, ass and pussy but without trying anything else.

The weeks passed and with them you managed to get used to the lifestyle of those men. König had already warned everyone about your exclusivity only with him, so no one ever tried anything with you. Your routine was based on washing and cooking König's clothes, cleaning his war wounds and cooking for him and his men. During the nights, you only had to be in charge of helping him bathe and dress the times when he arrived very exhausted, then both of you would just lie down and sleep.

Inevitably you managed to appreciate him and desire the closeness of that massive man. König, for his part, also wanted you, demonstrating it in the way that during the night he would rest his big erection against your ass, or how he would sit you on his lap and take advantage of the movements of the boat to obtain a pleasurable friction.

That night, the sexual tension between the two was unsustainable and it didn't take long for both of them to achieve what they had longed for. Due to your tightness and the large size of König's member, his first thrusts were painful and uncomfortable. However, he took care of reducing your disagreement by sucking and biting your breasts.

"My little wife- ah I love your breasts and how tight you are.." König growled, bringing his hands to your hips, using you as his personal fleshlight.

Slowly, his long and thick cock entered completely inside of you, feeling a sensation of simultaneous pain and pleasure. His hot breath and masculine scent made your walls wrap even tighter around him, causing him to moan loudly.

"Mine, only mine. This pussy belongs to me, your breasts belong to me, you belong to me completely..." he murmured, bringing his mouth to your ear and lightly biting your lobe.

His thrusts increased along with his grunts, you sobbed with pleasure at the way his hair pubes touched your clit. "König- I want more.." you stammered, not quite able to formulate words.

"Huh? You want my cum? You want me to fill you up inside?" He asked as his pace became more clumsy, announcing that he was about to finish.

And so he did, filling your entire interior with his powerful semen that, after 9 months later, took shape into 2 chubby and healthy warriors.