#(speaking as an alt fashion afab person myself)

[mint-mumbles]

Gonna use this image any time someone says something low key sexist about Sable (ie "she's showing too much skin" regarding a fucking bathing suit 😭🤦)

I don't hear you complaining about Spirit 😭

[lonelyvomit]

Oh shit that's an interesting question.

So first thing first, with non-identical/fraternal twins (which different sex twins always are), the thing is you only have as much in common genetically as any other pair of siblings. The connection between non-identical twins comes more from growing up together at the same pace, sharing milestones in life etc. In my case it happens that I in fact look and act very little alike to my twin brother, while me and my older brother look almost identical and have more similarities in personality. As a result, I compare myself to, and observe the world thru both of my brothers. So generally speaking having a brother at all can be just as good as a twin.

My twin brother gives me a view into how would I be treated if I was amab by having the same background, the same generation, the same upbringing as me. We were in the same class up until 7th grade (which is when we switch from elementary to junior high in Finland) when we asked to be separated. However, it does not fully help me understand what my social status would be, as looks and personality wise, I am/was more like our big brother. So with "what would I look like and would my talkative nature be more accepted as amab?" I get a better answer by observing my older brother, while questions such as "what would my teachers expect from me and what would my parents teach me if I was a male?" can be easily answered thru my twin's experiences.

I live in a small town and my parents were fairly traditional and old-fashioned as I was growing up (they've grown more open-minded thanks to having to put up with my alt queer ass LMAO), so gender norms were strong all thru my childhood. I am painfully aware of every single thing that I was or wasn't taught, not because it was a different time or because firstborns always have it the hardest or any other excuse that could explain why I was treated differently to my older brother, but purely because I was afab. I notice the expectations placed on me and my twin by people and I can easily tell when they differ due to our observed gender rather than just our differences in personalities. I have distinct memories of my mum asking me to help her in the kitchen - something my brothers were never asked to do - and watching my dad drag my unwilling twin brother to help him change the tires while quietly hoping he'd ask me for once. He never did. I also have memories of complete strangers, new people that we have just met and who dont actually know us, having distinctively different attitudes or tones of voice when talking to us. There's something incredibly uncomfortable about how radically people can change in 0.5 seconds when they go from shaking hands with a young boy to greeting another child of the exact same age and background, but perceivably a girl.

In short, having a twin isn't a 100% fool proof way to see your trans experience and how it compares to being cis, and having a brother at all within a reasonable time frame can be equally as helpful. It does however highlight and prove beyond any doubt all the gender norms and treatment you experience purely due to your assigned gender, and can make it feel that much shittier to see just how easily they disappear if only you had been born male.

You're an only child too?!? Also why are Ricky's side projects always so weird 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yes I am an only child! My parents were also 38 when they had me so I had a different home life than I feel like most people have. The opposite end of that spectrum is my partner, who is the first of four and his mom had him at 18 lol

Growing up, I always said I wanted a twin brother, but I think that was me projecting my masc-leaning transness, in the way that I wanted to be able to see what would be essentially another me, but male. (@lonelyvomit I'm curious your experience with this and how you feel about your twin in relation to your transness)

And yes, it's a little weird but I'm not against it haha