#and then this week doing basically nothing except watch twitch streams

[sibyl-of-space]

I actually finished everything, it's all sent off to Steam to review and all I need is their thumbs up and the demo goes live THIS FRIDAY.....

[blue-corvid]

Tumblr Live Hot(?) Takes

The thing that really kills me about Tumblr Live is honestly that it could have been fine -- useful even!

I already follow streamers on Tumblr! I follow artists, comedians, video game let's-players, tabletop gaming nerds, all of whom stream somewhere that isn't Tumblr! If I could watch them stream on Tumblr, I would absolutely do that!

But Tumblr. My beloved. You fucked it up so bad. You immediately made it as sketchy and annoying as possible, and now... by the point that “everybody hates it” is the thing most people know about it, i can’t imagine it would be easy to save.

So this is my open letter to Tumblr (I don't know who to direct it at -- @staff? I hope that's okay) -- here’s where I think you went wrong, and how you could fix it (if it is, in fact, fixable.)

Tumblr Live appeared silently with no warning.

When it first showed up, the only thing I heard about it was “what the fuck is this?” I Googled it and found basically nothing, and then when I looked it up in Tumblr’s support pages, it wasn’t super clear what Tumblr Live was or what it was for. Streaming platform was only my best guess.

Most of the article was about how you could make money off it. Tumblr, I can’t make money off of it if I don’t know what it is, how to use it, or how to explain it to anyone.

This isn't the case anymore, but it was a serious problem early on.

(Seemingly) no effort to make it look appealing or useful.

It looks and acts like an ad. It’s positioned like an ad at the top of the dashboard. Like an ad, it doesn’t have any connection to what I do or care about on Tumblr.

It looks to be a bunch of still shots from the live chats that it’s promoting and this is just such an unbelievably bad idea.

See, here's the thing: Tumblr has a running problem with porn bots, most of which can be quickly identified by their avatars, which are almost always (stolen) pictures of attractive women, often in revealing clothing.

Guess what every single image I can see on the Tumblr Live ad banner is? Did you guess pictures of attractive women, often in revealing clothing? See the problem? Regardless of my feelings on or desire to interact with cam girls (which are, for the record: I’m not interested personally but I wish you good vibes and good luck and respectful clients), my gut reaction upon seeing the Tumblr Live banner is, “That looks like a bunch of porn bots.”

When you add this to how hard it was to find information about Tumblr Live, how poorly its terms of service were explained, and the state of the internet right now (with every social media site gunning to get its teeth into its uses' throats to vampire as much sensitive personal data from them as possible), Tumblr Live looks dangerous.

When Tumblr users got annoyed with it, there was (seemingly) no effort to fix any of the problems.

Instead of explaining clearly what Live is and how it works and making it inherently less intrusive, Tumblr made excuses about how they had to try to make it profitable and doubled down on making it as annoying as possible with its stupid “snooze” feature.

Every time this stupid porn-bot-looking ad banner popped up on someone’s dash after a week of being lulled into a false sense of security, they hated it a little more.

Tumblr basically hand-crafted a sitewide campaign to yell about how bad this feature is once a week.

How could it have been better?

It’s all well and good to sit here and pass judgement, but was it not just doomed from the start? Could Tumblr really have done any better?

Yes. Absolutely yes.

Here’s how you fix Tumblr Live:

Get rid of the ad-banner-style preview placement.

Instead, mimic what people are doing for their Twitch streams already. Send out a notification on my dashboard when a blog I follow goes live. Respect the rules for normal Tumblr posts when it comes to visibility: let people blaze and reblog them and don’t push them out to people who wouldn’t normally see posts from that blog except according to users’ dashboard preferences.

For persistent notifications (since streams aren’t one-and-done like posts), put a list of blogs I follow that are currently live in the sidebar.

Because these features are no longer intrusive, you no longer need an option in the settings to toggle them off, and people who initially wrote off Live can explore it if it ever becomes valuable to them instead of making it disappear forever.

Get the stream previews off users' screens as soon as humanly possible.

Tumblr has a porn bot problem. Because people's (especially women's and especially cam girls') pictures get scraped for porn bot avatars, Tumblr users are gonna associate pictures of real live non-celebrity people (especially women) with internet scams. Forget this "keep it clean" shit -- whether it looks "clean" matters less than whether it looks like someone wants to steal my credit card information. (And on the other side of that, please understand that sex worker positivity doesn't help sex workers if a feature they use gets shut down because your average Tumblr user thinks it looks so sketchy that they won't touch it with a ten-foot pole.)

Replace the stream preview with the streamer's avatar and the stream title and/or a streamer-selected cover image.

Get help from actual streamers.

Go find Tumblr users who regularly make posts announcing Twitch streams and introduce them to Tumblr Live. For people who already use Tumblr, already stream stuff, and already use Tumblr to tell their audience that they're streaming, having a streaming platform attached to Tumblr could be a real convenience. If you have premium streaming features, find some popular streamers who use Tumblr and give them free access to those features for a while. Even better, maybe ask them for feedback on those features.

Most importantly, get people who stream a variety of different things. Even if Tumblr users don't hate Tumblr Live, if they're under the impression that it's only for one thing and that one thing is something they're not into, they're never gonna use it.

...That's it, that's all I've got. I know this post is a monster, but if anyone reads it: thanks. Good luck in to all in this new era of Tumblr.

[mikittalabs]

aggh my brain's back on its bullshit again and i've decided to screech into the aether instead of my sister's dms lol. think i ranted about this friend of mine in the tags of a post i reblogged a week or so ago but i think he can have his own post now </3.

it's going under the cut because i'd feel bad if this post just showed up on someone's dashboard or something

so like i've realized i've put more of myself into this friendship than he ever has and gotten pretty much nothing out of it. and it'd be so easy to just block and leave but i've known this guy since i was like a couple months old and i'm 20 now.

like i've bought games he's recommended and played them with him, i've learned fighting games so i could play with him, i drew a stupid meme for his streams, i'm like his only twitch mod, i've talked about resident evil and fire emblem gameplay with him.

recently, i realized he does like none of that for me. he ignored my recommendation to play sephonie, he said mutant mayhem looked dumb, i doubt he's watched nimona, he's basically left me on read when i talked about resident evil lore or tmnt. i've mentioned my interest in writing and drawing in his streams and he's never shown any interest except for that meme i drew (this one).

apparently he's been outright ignoring anything my sis has said to him that doesn't interest him for years now and i just never noticed.

he's just kinda started venting in my dms 3 times now unprompted in the past 6 months. 2 of those times i tried my hardest to give whatever advice i could think of, i don't think he listened to any of it. the third time was recently after i like, opened my eyes to his bullshit. i just didn't respond, it's not like he would've listened. i felt so gross ignoring him the 3rd time.

so why. am i still so conflicted about it. like i came to this conclusion maybe a month ago now. i've backed away from his streams and i feel bad. if he texts me, i feel bad. if i think about him, i get mad, but if i ignore him, i'm mad at myself. trapped between a rock and a hard place and i'm doing the thing my other friends and family have told me to do.

i have a headache. my chest fucking hurts. i'm pretty sure i've been on the verge of dissociating this week. everything feels fuzzy. i don't even know what emotions i'm experiencing right now.

[star-going-supernova]

what if Vanny/Ol willie was not toying with Gregory but it was really Ness doing the only thing she could trying to slow herself down, throw the fight as it were. she had to fight for it and every hurt every second, but if any kid can make it, it's this one.

Vanessa takes a bit of an internal beating in this one—warning for minor blood and some somewhat dark thoughts on Vanessa’s part. Angst ahoy, my dudes!

Stack the Deck

The moment Vanessa caught sight of the kid, she sent herself to her knees. It wasn’t a graceful maneuvere, nor was it gentle. She collapsed downward with as much force as she could, almost violently so. The fabric of the bunny suit she wore did little to cushion her drop; sharp pain shot through her kneecaps. It was nothing compared to the headache that instantly bloomed behind her eyes as she resisted the command to get up and hunt. 

Her hands twitched; the phantom sensation of a knife’s handle pressed against her palm. The cold, hard tiles kept her in her head, kept her in control. Vanny was good at the stupid dancing, good at the taunting little bunny hops, the innocent tilt of her mask-covered head. Good at stabbing. 

By some miracle, she wasn’t so good at balance. Whatever twisted monster inhabited her brain and occasionally possessed Vanessa’s limbs and voice missed the mark on some basic human stuff. Along with the balance issues, fine motor control was another. She struggled with the elevator buttons and the keypads and the card swipes, and she’d get no help from Vanessa. 

It was all just more ways to stack the deck against the parasite that made a puppet of her. 

If Vanny tried to stand now, with Vanessa’s knees already tingly numb, she’d only send them careening to the floor headfirst. 

Vanessa watched from the shadows as Gregory made his way across the atrium, dodging Monty and Roxy as they patrolled. Vanny strained against her, nearly salivating to go down there and chase him, but even as twin streams of blood began to seep from her nose, Vanessa resisted. 

Only when Gregory was out of sight, as safe as he could ever be when he was stuck in a building with so many monsters, did she relinquish control. It was like releasing one end of a stretched-tight bungee cord, except the backlash still hit her, not the person on the other end. A hazy state of almost-but-not-quite unconsciousness overtook Vanessa. It felt like drowning, and she wondered if Vanny made it that way, as just another way to torture her. 

A punishment for resisting. 

I thought you were done with that, Vanny hissed. You’ve been resigned for weeks now. Not that I don’t like seeing you bleed too. And she laughed, loud and ugly. 

It was hard to keep her out. Painful. Exhausting. And Vanessa just wasn’t strong enough to do it forever. 

Call it selfish, call it cowardly, call it cruel—such words were kinder than what she called herself—but she’d checked out the past few times a child had wandered the pizzaplex after hours. Just stayed in that hazy place where control was but a distant dream and the screams were so faint she could almost pretend she couldn’t hear them. 

Giving up hurt in a different way, but she was hardly the first person in the world to sink into apathetic submission out of sheer self-preservation. At least she bled less, from her nose and eyes and ears, when she went quietly.

There was no room for going quietly tonight. 

It was already hours into the night. Gregory had survived longer than anyone else so far, even the rare teenager. The animatronics weren’t having any more success at catching him than Vanny was, the STAFF bots barely fazed the kid, and he had Freddy on his side. 

For the first time in a long time, Vanessa felt hope. Because this boy, Gregory—he stood a chance. He stood a real, actual chance at making it out alive. 

And Vanessa would crawl out of her pit of self-hatred and resignation and do everything in her limited power to improve that chance. Even if it killed her instead.

In that blurry, nearly unconscious state of hers, she could just barely taste her own blood, just barely feel the tiles still beneath her aching knees. 

So now Vanny either waited for her to ‘wake up’ again and stand, or she’d flail around and take ten minutes to get to her feet. 

Regardless, Gregory wouldn’t have to worry about her for a little while longer. And that was all Vanessa could ask for. 

[sierraraeck]

Bad Liar

Moreid (Spencer x Derek)

Masterlist

Summary: Ever since his first day at Quantico, Spencer has had only one thought on his mind: SSA Derek Morgan. He knows that any sort of relationship would be inappropriate, but that doesn’t stop the constant stream of fantasies from flooding his mind.

Category: Spicy fluff, smut alluded

Warnings: Non-graphic descriptions of sex, fantasizing, suggestive touching, kissing, very light cussing.

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: This was inspired by the song “Bad Liar” by Selena Gomez. If you wanna give that a quick listen, go for it, if not, that’s chill too. I know that I haven’t been very active and haven’t posted anything in a while, but sometimes life just happens. Hopefully this was worth the wait…

Spencer had heard the phrase “I never stop thinking about you.” He’d heard it in reference to love and relationships when people were apparently so madly in love they couldn’t stop thinking about the other. He never really bought that. Love was just a bunch of feel-good chemicals that couldn’t affect the amount of time spent thinking about another person. Plus, how could anyone ever constantly think about a person? There were so many other things to think about like surviving high school, getting into college, graduating, of course his mom, and then getting into the FBI, and how he would surely not be able to make it all the way through Quantico training. No one could ever think about one person all the time. No, definitely not.

But Spencer wasn’t known for being a good liar.

His first day at Quantico he saw Derek Morgan, and he realized that he was wrong. He was so utterly and outrageously wrong.

Because after he saw him, heard his voice just once, his exceptional mind kept those interactions on constant repeat.

He was lucky he was so good at multitasking otherwise he would have definitely failed by now.

Not like he still wouldn’t.

He couldn’t sleep, not with someone like Derek Morgan intruding his every thought, every midnight desire. On top of that, they were about to go into the hardest week of physical training yet, and Spencer knew that this was the one challenge that his brain could not overcome.

The one redeemable thing about the humiliating experience he was sure would come during the following days was that he’d get to see SSA Morgan again. Sure, it'd be more embarrassing to fail in front of him, but at least he’d get to see him a few more times before they kicked him out for being the scrawny kid he’s always been.

The feelings of excitement and anxiety twisted his gut into a wonderful knot, keeping him from yet another night of sleep. Somehow that made it both harder and easier for him to get up when the clock hit 4:45.

Spencer looked between two blinds covering the window on the right, allowing him to see that the sun was still about an hour from rising. Slipping on his given shirt and pants, he hoped that there would be some source of caffeine at breakfast, preferably coffee.

He trudged into the bathroom to find his roommate already awake and dressed. “Big day. You excited?” Jeff, a man about a head shorter than Spencer but at least twice his width in pure muscle mass, asked.

Spencer just grunted in response.

“What? You’re not excited to get pitted against someone else so that you can flail around in an attempt to spar?”

“I’ll stick to teaching you the technique,” he quipped.

Jeff laughed. “It’d suit you better. Unfortunately your wizard brain and forbidden library won’t help you in this one. But dammit if you aren’t the smartest guy here.” Jeff shook his head as if it were a shame.

Once they were ready, along with the rest of the NATs, the group was directed to jog across campus to the building they’d be training in. The day was off to a bad start.

Spencer did his best to distract himself from the actual running bit, trying to analyze the people in his group and those they passed as they went.

Bored, hungry, important, invisible… Derek?!

He turned his head to follow the tall man with short black hair and dark eyes as the group passed him on the sidewalk.

No, that wasn’t him. Of course it wasn’t. Agent Morgan is waiting for us at the facility.

Spencer tried to hide the slight disappointment that came over him. He felt so stupid for looking for him everywhere, but he couldn’t help it. Even his own knowledge and logic was failing him when it came to this man he knew next to nothing about expect for his shining smile and intense eyes and toned biceps and amazing abs and powerful legs and delicious stamina and strong hands that could grip his neck and hold him down and his defined hips bones that Spencer knew would dig into his thighs and certainly leave bruises if he were to…

What was his issue? He couldn’t be thinking that way about one of his trainors.

Although it helped the jog pass by faster. Time flies when you’re having fun, right? Or at least imagining having fun.

When they arrived at the other facility, they were provided a quick breakfast, unfortunately no coffee today, and then led to the top floor with an entire wall traded out for floor to ceiling windows.

The room they entered was massive, large mats rolled out edge to edge, and the smell was musty. It felt humid, sticky sort of, and Spencer hated to think about why that was.

He quickly scanned the room and found his target immediately. Across the way, Derek had his opponent mid flip, landing harshly on his back with a thud. He helped the poor guy up, laughing a bit as he did so. His pearly whites were on full display when he looked up and caught Spencer’s eye. Spencer quickly diverted his gaze, opting instead to look down at his twisting hands.

“Today we will be focusing on hand to hand combat,” Derek announced once the group had wandered closer. “You never know when the perpetrator will decide not to run and instead to attack you, or when you will find yourself without any weapons other than yourself to protect you. The first thing we are going to practice are some basic jabs. Grab a partner and follow our demonstration.”

Derek and the man he’d thrown on the ground earlier, Grant, demonstrated the seemingly simple movements that Spencer and the rest of the NATs were supposed to replicate. Of course, everyone else made it look easy, but Spencer just couldn’t wrap his head around what his arm was supposed to be doing where and when. It was frustrating, even more so than he’d prepared himself for.

“Keep your shoulders here,” that velvety deep voice said, accompanied by his large hands on either of Spencer’s shoulders, adjusting them to more of an angle.

All Spencer could do was swallow hard and nod. He didn’t even dare to look back at him.

“And spread your legs,” Derek said. His breath seemed to get closer to Spencer’s neck with every word, and quieter as he went along. But surely that was all in his head? Right?

Spencer’s startled eyes turned to look at the older man. The edges of his mouth twitched before resuming that stern, professional demeanour. “It’ll help you balance.” With that, he nudged Spencer’s foot farther backwards with his own and walked away, leaving Spencer feeling unnecessarily exposed and confused.

The guy across from him, Harold, one of the only people who had been genuinely nice to Spencer from the start, was watching the whole interaction with suspicion.

The day trudged on with not much change. Spencer’s skin was still on fire from where Agent Morgan had touched him, but he tried to convince himself it was because he didn’t really like being touched. He knew that was a lie, especially in this instance, but it didn’t stop him from telling it.

After lunch, training continued. But at least it got more interesting.

“Grant just got called out on a case, so I’ll be needing someone to help me with this demonstration.” Derek waited just about three whole seconds before smirking, the mischief written all over his face. “Come on? No one wants to volunteer? It’ll be fun, I promise.” When he was met with more silence (even the guys like Jeff didn’t want to be thrown around by Derek), he was forced to choose someone. “How about… Reid.”

Spencer’s head shot up from the back of the group. No, no, this is not good.

Spencer had been dreaming about getting thrown around by Derek for a few months now, but this was definitely not what he’d had in mind.

The crowd slowly parted and Spencer had to face the music; he was going to be humiliated in front of everyone, like nothing had changed since high school.

Sighing, Spencer forced himself to the front of the group. “Lay down for me, knees bent, would you?”

I’d do anything you asked, was Spencer’s initial response in his head. What he really did was shrug and follow instructions.

“The reason we practice this move is because at some point or another, you will find yourself in either position.” Spencer wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that until Derek legitimately stood over him, a leg on either side, then proceeded to get down on his knees, essentially sitting on top of Spencer.

He couldn’t even focus on what Derek was explaining anymore. Breathing didn’t exist. There was no way this glorious man was sitting on top of him right now. All he could think about was how prominent Derek’s ab muscles were through his tight shirt and how he wanted nothing more than to lean forward and run his tongue over them. Spencer could almost imagine what they would feel like; the rise and fall of his muscles, the small hairs covering his body… Spread your legs, he had said to him.

“So then Reid would grab my wrist…” Derek’s use of his name brought him back to reality. If only he could live in his fantasies for longer.

Spencer looked up at Agent Morgan confused. Derek’s eyes got wider and looked at his right hand and then down at his own left wrist. Spencer somehow got the message and reached his hand over to grab a hold of Derek’s wrist. “Good,” he declared. “After that, he would hook his left foot on the outside of my ankle.”

Spencer quickly followed orders, trying to force his brain to supply him with the information he’d missed.

“Then, he’d use my weight against me to flip me over.” Spencer’s eyes got big when Derek said that, mentally panicking that he could never be strong enough for that. Derek nodded at him, so Spencer tried to roll over, and to his, and everyone else’s, surprise, he actually could.

Within seconds Spencer was sitting on top of a very pleased Derek. “It’ll work every time. Of course, if your unsub is skilled he’ll lock you in and flip you back over and potentially pull your arm out of your socket,” Derek explained while doing just that to Spencer, minus the arm-out-of-socket thing, “But we’ll take this one step at a time.”

Derek was back on top of Spencer with his legs wrapped around him in a vice-like grip, but quickly let go to help him up. Spencer gladly accepted the help.

Spencer doesn’t exactly have what one would consider a “big dick.” He always thought that was something to be ashamed of but standing there, getting hard in the middle of an FBI training academy, he couldn’t’ve be more grateful.

The NATs were sent back to work on the newly demonstrated move with their partners. Just as Spencer was about to flip Harold over for the third time, he looked over his head and rolled his eyes.

“What?” Spencer asked.

“What is it with you two?” Harold asked in return.

“What?” Spencer repeated. Harold nodded in the direction he was just looking, and Spencer followed his gaze. Derek was walking by, but nothing else seemed of import. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh please,” Harold snorted. He was a lanky man like Spencer, but just a bit shorter and with glasses. Sometimes Spencer envied his glasses, as his contacts often got on his nerves. He continued, “The touching, the constant eye contact, the word choice that could be inherently sexual, and then literally sitting on top of you? When there were plenty of other men and women he could have picked for that demonstration? Tell me you don’t see it.”

Spencer mulled over these words for a few seconds before flipping Harold over. Looking down on him, he said, “I don’t think that means anything.”

“Then maybe you need to get a new prescription,” Harold said, pointing to his eyes.

Spencer shook his head. “What do my eyes have to do with this?”

Harold sighed. “God, your gaydar is so broken.” He flipped Spencer over, stood up, and walked away.

Shortly after, class was called and they were all let go for the remainder of the evening.

“Reid, can I speak to you for a moment?” Agent Morgan called out as the first of the NATs started to leave. A few caught Spencer’s eye with unanswered questions in them, but no more than the mound of questions Spencer had been asking himself.

Without answering, Spencer walked over to the corner of the room that Derek was standing in. He could tell that he was waiting for every single person to leave the room before speaking.

Spencer thought for sure he was getting kicked out because of how horribly he performed throughout the day.

To his surprise, that’s not at all what the outstandingly attractive man had to say. “I wanted to let you know that you did a good job today during the demo. Not many people handle that so well.”

Spencer waited for him to say more, but nothing more seemed to be coming. Derek actually seemed a bit nervous if Spencer could read him right. He replied cautiously, “Thanks.”

Derek cleared his voice and said, “Yeah. And if you ever want to stay late and work on some moves I’d be happy to help.”

Spencer just got more and more confused as his interactions with this god-like man increased. “Thanks,” he repeated. “Why are you offering to help me like that?”

Agent Morgan shrugged. “You’re one of the smartest people in FBI history to come through here, and definitely the youngest. There’s absolutely no reason you shouldn’t become an agent, and I want to see you succeed. That’s all.” He shrugged again, and if there was anything Spencer had learned from the profiling section of his training, someone being over-casual was usually a sign that they were stressed about something they viewed with extreme importance, and were trying to play it off. Why would he be stressed to talk to me?

“I guess I’ll take you up on that offer. Will you be here tomorrow?” Spencer asked, trying to mask the hope in his voice. Who was he kidding; Derek was already one of the top profilers in the Bureau.

“I will be. You can plan to stay after then.”

Spencer nodded and walked away, but not before glancing back one more time. Harold was right; they did make a lot of eye contact.

The next day couldn’t go by faster. Spencer had spent practically the entire night thinking about everything that had happened, trying to figure out if Harold was right or not. There was no way. Spencer was just Spencer, a NAT, and Derek Morgan was, well… Derek Morgan.

He probably just thought that Spencer was a hopeless case and needed extra help. Yeah, that was it. It had to be.

When the day was over, Spencer wasn’t just relieved like he usually was, but he was excited too. It no longer mattered to him what the reason was for him being there late, he just wanted to spend more time in the presence of SSA Morgan.

“I was thinking I’d help you with that second move we learned today, the cross-punch jab combo,” Derek announced. His voice echoed just a bit off the walls of the training center now that it was completely abandoned.

He walked over to one of the punching bags lined up just a few feet from the wall, and Spencer followed him in a manner that could only be described as a lost puppy. Spencer could keep track of all sorts of numbers, but the sheer amount of repeating memories morphing into new thoughts morphing into full blown fantasies was even too high for him to count. He’d never known of a drug so powerful.

“I’ll show you the move again, then I want you to try and copy it.” Derek stepped closer to the bag and executed a textbook one-two combo, the muscles in his arms and back contracting in perfect unison. God, Spencer wanted so badly to just reach out and run his hands all over this pristinely sculpted man, but he denied himself, letting his hands tremble in place instead.

Spencer stepped up to the bag next to Derek’s and attempted to do the same thing. Derek watched with a sharp eye.

After a few reps, the skilled agent took long strides that landed him only inches away from the younger man’s back. “Keep tension here.” His hands engulfed Spencer’s waist and twisted them to the side with the ease of swatting a fly.

The feeling was so overwhelming Spencer thought he might never be able to move again, and honestly, he didn’t want to. Standing there in the grip of that man was really all he’d been wanting for months now.

The only thing that pulled him out of his trance was the way Derek’s fingers lingered as he walked around to Spencer’s front, drifting down far enough to send a clear message, one that even Spencer couldn’t miss, but not far enough to be completely intrusive.

But Spencer wanted intrusive. He wanted nothing more than for Derek Morgan to invade his personal space to the point of no return.

He looked at the older man with shock and a burning question, but didn’t flinch or move back. Derek simply bit his lip and scanned Spencer up and down at what felt like a snail’s pace. He felt like a helpless deer being sized up by a lion for his next meal.

Spencer swallowed hard.

He’d been wanting nothing more than to be in this very same situation, or one of the multitudes of variations he’d created in his mind, but now that it was here could he really go through with it? Was it really the best idea? Did he really want this? No, he couldn’t.

But Spencer wasn’t known for being a good liar.

The only signal Derek needed was the simple nod of Spencer’s head.

And he got it.

Like a snake ready to strike, Derek brought his lips to Spencer’s in an instant. His questioning fingers had an answer, returning to their strong hold over Spencer’s hip bones.

Spencer knew what was happening was completely inappropriate, but couldn’t find the will to care. The man he’d been dreaming about, spending every waking and non-waking moment obsessing over, was actually interested in him too.

All his fantasies were flashing before his eyes, Derek’s muscles now completely exposed to him. He frantically pawed at him, trying to feel and memorize every millimeter of the beautiful body before him, like every inch was another drop of water in his achingly dry mouth.

“Hey, hey,” Derek whispered. “Patience. Not everything can happen at once, remember, one step at a time.”

Spencer took a moment to breathe and look into the warm eyes he’d been drowning in. Only for a moment, though, as he had a lot he wanted to do, starting with kissing his way down this man’s chest.

Derek laughed a little at Spencer’s impatience when he placed his hands on his broad shoulders and lips on his burning hot skin. He didn’t mind, though. Unexpectedly, the young man knew how to use his mouth. He couldn’t wait to explore that particular skill set some more.

Within the next few minutes, bodies were slammed into walls, forced to the ground, and pushed further down into the floor than was previously thought possible. The echo of the room only amplified the intoxicating sounds and the wall of windows overlooking the campus only increased the arousal.

Spencer would have a new appreciation for the musty smell and sweat induced humidity in the room from now on.

The tension for the remaining month before the NATs graduated was unbearable. Harold made sure to point out the nauseating amount of glances passed between the two men, but was respectful enough to not point it out to everyone. He tried to deny anything had happened, but Harold wasn’t having any of it and let Spencer know he was a lousy liar, something he definitely needed to work on.

Come graduation day when all NATs would be receiving their department assignments, Derek made sure to personally hand Spencer his.

He carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the sheet of paper with one bolded line reading: “Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

Spencer immediately looked up and locked eyes with Derek. He simply smirked in return.

Maybe his fantasy of having something more with the agent would become a reality after all.

-

Taglist

@90spumkin

[amazingmsme]

Tender Darkness and a Secret Touch

AN: This is the softest thing I’ve ever written, Geralt loves Jaskier so much. He’s so in love okay he just wants to touch Jaskier and make him happy and be sweet with him. This was longer than I thought it was gonna be, little over 4k, please enjoy this incredibly tender and loving fic.

It started out as an accident. No really. They had pushed their bedrolls together like they always do once it gets cold. At some point in the middle of the night, Geralt woke up to adjust himself, flushing internally as he realized he had been hugging the bard in his sleep. He shifted away, fingers brushing over his side. That's when he heard it: a quick, quiet giggle.

Geralt furrowed his brows at the sound. What on earth had made him laugh in his sleep? It could've been a dream, but it had been all too sudden... He had a theory, and it wasn't too far fetched. He reached out to test it, drumming his fingers over his ribs. The giggle returned, paired with light squirming. In his sleep, Jaskier spoke.

"Hehehey... that tihickles..." Geralt smirked to himself but backed off. They had been traveling all day and Jaskier made sure it be known how exhausted he was. It would be far too cruel to wake him in the middle of the night with such an attack.

He decided he would wait until the right time to exploit this weakness of his. Sometime when he was being just a bit too annoying or was complaining too much. He didn't plan on letting this information go to waste. Only what he didn't expect was how hard it would be for Geralt himself to initiate such a playful interaction. Gods, just the thought of seeing Jaskier flushed and laughing under him sent a wave of heat through his body. He himself was not a playful, teasing man, how would he even go about it? Dig his fingers into his side and watch him with his usual stoic expression? That just felt wrong. But if he let himself smile he knows he'd never stop, and he really didn't need to hear Jaskier's own relentless teasing and compliments about how nice his smile was.

"What's got you all smiley today?"

The question yanked Geralt from his thoughts so fast, he nearly choked on his spit. "What?" Jaskier looks up at him with a smirk.

"That nearly permanent frown of yours was turned up at the corner, an' honestly that's the closest thing to a smile I've seen from you in months," he teased. Geralt rolled his eyes. "So spill."

"Nothing, just imagined you tripping into a stream and ruining that outfit," he easily lied, knowing how worked up he'd get over that. It was one of his favorites after all. A loud gasp ripped itself from his throat.

"You take that back right now! How dare you cast such bad juju on me!" he scolded. What he didn't expect was for Jaskier to reach up and squeeze his knee. His body went stiff and he barely managed to suppress the surprised squeak that wanted to escape.

He could test it now. Could stop Roach right there in the middle of the empty road and pounce. But someone could walk up and see them. He'd rather die than have that happen. He could invite him to take a break and ride Roach in front of him, but that would be far too suspicious. Jaskier would know he was plotting something. Or he could let it slide.

Coward.

As they set up camp, Geralt made sure to push their bedrolls together. He sat close to him all evening, debating whether or not to man up and just do it already. But then it grew late and they were settling in for sleep. He waited until far after Jaskier's breath had evened out. He gently began tracing shapes over Jaskier's stomach, even slipping underneath his shirt once he got bolder.

Jaskier's shoulders bounced with soft giggles. He wiggled slightly, pressing back against Geralt to escape from his hand. That certainly sent blood rushing lower than it should've. He controlled himself and pulled away, dreaming of bright blue eyes and an even brighter smile.

~~~~

Once they reunited in the spring, Geralt made a point to frequent more inns. Jaskier might think it was weird if they continued to push their bedrolls together every night, but if they so happened to be shacked up in a room with only one bed, well they didn't really have a choice now did they? Except for when Jaskier went to order them a nice meal or set up for a performance, Geralt would ask for a room with a single rather than a double. After the first few times, Jaskier made note of it with an almost sly smile. He hoped he didn't catch on. (Or if he did, that he didn't mind.)

Geralt continued to let his hands roam over the sleeping bard's body, listening to the sounds of his sweet chuckles. He found that if he hit a particularly sensitive spot, a snort would mix in with his soft snores. Each noise he'd make was the most beautiful sound to ever grace Geralt's ears.

He settled in first, Jaskier following suit and pressing right up against his body. "Mmm you're warm," he hummed. It was a myth that witcher's couldn't blush, and that comment sent color straight to his cheeks. He was glad Jaskier's eyes were closed. Melitele knows his teasing would only make it worse. Geralt woke up after some time. Jaskier still slept peacefully. Geralt pressed closer, inhaling his sweet scent. He couldn't help but feel guilty doing this. Jaskier was asleep, he didn't know what was going on. He was abusing this information without his knowledge. But he wasn't guilty enough to stop.

Meanwhile, all this time, Jaskier had spent weeks, months even, wondering why he was in such a desperate, needy mood. He craved a certain kind of touch, and it had been years since he'd actually had it. Of all his wants and desires, tickling was the one thing that was impossible for him to admit he craved. He just wanted to feel happy and out of control again. To trust someone enough to let them completely unwind him. And then the dreams started.

Sometimes it would be the loving touch of his mother, cheering him up after a bad day, or a playful fight with an old friend. But mostly he would dream of Geralt. Quite silly, he knew. He would never engage in something so childish, especially if he thought there was any chance at retaliation. Oh well, the dreams would just have to suffice. He began looking forward to going to sleep because it meant he could have Geralt looming over him, hands roaming his body and making him come undone. Sadly, that's all it would ever be. A dream.

Geralt began tapping his sides. He heard the first gentle puff of air and saw the twitch of his lips. This only encouraged him. He moved his hands over his stomach and ribs, blunt nails lightly scratching the skin. His sleepy snickers grew to soft laughter in his slumber. He could feel Jaskier's belly shake under his fingers, and that made him crave a more wild laugh. But he didn't dare give up what he had now.

A finger circled over the quivering tummy, subconsciously closing in on his bellybutton. When it dipped inside, he felt his body jerk as he barked out a quick laugh and a snort, jerking himself awake.

Geralt froze.

The tickling in his dream became too much and he jolted awake, eyes flying open with a laugh. He quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, afraid he might wake Geralt. He'd kill himself if the witcher knew he'd been dreaming about... that. That was strange, even though he was awake he could still feel the tingling after effects on his skin. He looked down, seeing his arms wrapped around him. And how convenient for his hands to be placed where they were...

Geralt decided his best course of action was to play it off like he was twitching in his sleep. His fingers pressed into the soft skin, wiggling and twitching slightly. Jaskier sucked his stomach in with a bubbly laugh, louder than when he's sleeping.

"G-Geheralt?" he asked into the darkness to see if he was awake. When he didn't answer, he tried again, having to suppress a snort. This couldn't actually be happening, could it? The, perhaps unrequited, love of his life was snuggled next to him tickling him in his sleep. He gives a giggly sigh. "M-muhuhust be dreheaming," he whispered to himself. "Luhucky mehehe."

Jaskier's words filled Geralt with immense joy. His tired voice laced with snickers was like a drug, and he couldn't get enough of it. He allowed an eye to peak open a crack, just to watch the way his features scrunched adorably and his body squirmed. Did he mean "lucky me" in the sarcastic sense, or... was he actually enjoying this? Melitele's tits please let it be the latter. And then he felt his hand being moved. He let out a sad sigh that he masked as a soft snore but then he noticed his hand wasn't being moved away... In fact, it was being switched to a different spot.

Jaskier shrugged. "Since I'm already awake..." He slowly trailed Geralt's hand up his side, freezing when he snored a little louder before continuing. He stopped once he reached his underarm. Jaskier felt incredibly giddy and nervous, like he was doing something bad and was about to get caught. The thrill made it all the more exciting. "You don't mind if I borrow this do you?" he quietly asked Geralt's "sleeping" form. The witcher couldn't believe what was happening... Jaskier did like this, basically confirmed it. It was so incredibly hard not to pounce now. He let his fingers twitch and drum against his hollow.

Jaskier tucked his arms behind his head, biting his lip to contain the squeal that begged to escape. His body wiggled slightly and he struggled to remain still. He had to clamp his other hand over his mouth as Geralt's fingers picked up speed, and Jaskier just knew the bastard had to be aware of what he was doing... The thought made him redder than a tomato.

His nails scratched the center of his armpit and Jaskier's arm came crashing down with a loud squeal. He immediately clamped his hands over his mouth. If he pretended to continue sleeping, it would look too suspicious. He sat up on his elbow. "Jaskier? You okay?" Even in the dark, he could see the bard's deep blush.

Jaskier nodded all too quickly. "Mhm! Just, um, bad dream is all," he lied, hoping it was convincing. Geralt looked him up and down with what seemed to be concern. Even in the dark, he could see the witcher's mischievous smirk.

Geralt licked his lips, staring in his eyes. He could hear the man's heart pounding in his chest. "Well... I'm here if you need me," he says. Jaskier's eyes sparkle with such admiration that it makes Geralt want to toss everything to the wind and kiss him right now. But... there was a chance he didn't feel the same way and he couldn't risk losing him for good. Jaskier nods and settles back under the covers, pressing his body closer than before.

~~~~

Jaskier has a theory. He knows what Geralt's like when he's sleeping; he's watched him rest many times to know he's almost always still when he's resting. (It's not creepy he swears! They've been traveling together for years now, he's bound to see the man sleep.) And his hand movements were too calculated, too precise for him to be asleep. He was sure of it. That's why he insisted they stay another night at the inn, to test his theory. That, and to sleep in an actual bed for once. They had started to do it more often, thank the heavens.

He made sure to drink a cup of coffee at dinner to help him stay awake. After a rousing performance, he played up his exhaustion, yawning and stretching quite a few times. Each time he raised his arm above his head, he caught Geralt eying him almost hungrily. Finally, he smirked and purred, "See something you like?" He could've sworn he actually turned pink.

Geralt flushed and looked away with a growl. "Shut it, bard."

Jaskier's smirk grew. "Make me, witcher," he sassed back. Geralt should've pounced right then and there, but what if he actually didn't like it? What if he somehow made him uncomfortable? He'd rather continue his secret teasing not knowing than test it now and risk giving it all up. This was so stupid, he'd never over think this if it were Eskel or Lambert sassing back. He wouldn't think twice about putting them in their place each time they smarted off. Then again, he didn't want to wrap them in his arms and shower them with kisses and rip off their clothes. He figured those feelings might be the source of his hesitation.

When Geralt failed to act, only offering his signature "Hmm," Jaskier sighed. Perhaps he really had been asleep and had no clue about his giggly weakness. He was sure that if he knew, he wouldn't think twice before turning him into an incoherent mess, if only to tease him for it later and hold it over his head each time he acted out.

Or maybe, for whatever reason, he was in it for the long con. Heh, wouldn't that be something. "That's what I thought," he tried to sound smug but it was more of a fed up huff. With another fake yawn, he laid down in the bed and snuggled under the covers. "Whoo, I'm beat. Good night Geralt."

He gave a soft chuckle. "Good night Jaskier... Sweet dreams," he added. He knew he didn't really have a nightmare last night, but he wanted to say it anyway. The quick flutter of the other man's heart was definitely worth it.

Jaskier stuttered, "T-thank you." In all their years traveling together, Geralt had never been this, well, sweet was probably the best word for it, as he had in the past few months. It made him want to swoon.

He settled down and tried to slow his heart enough to hopefully trick Geralt. He was really hoping for a similar event to last night. He thought of boring things, but nothing too boring. He didn't want to actually fall asleep, because he needed to prove something.

Geralt followed suit soon after and climbed under the covers. He wraps an arm around his middle, smiling when he feels Jaskier lean into the touch. 30 minutes pass... An hour. That's funny, his heartbeat is still slightly faster than it usually is when he's asleep... He must be dreaming. He hopes it isn't a real nightmare this time.

He reached up and gently cards through his hair. "So soft," he mutters to himself. His voice is soothing and barely even a whisper.

Jaskier does an excellent job keeping his heart rate in check. The affectionate touch is so unlike how Geralt normally is and he can feel himself falling even deeper for the man.

His hand caresses the back of his head before scratching the nape of his neck with blunt nails. Jaskier's lips can't help but twitch in a sleepy smile. Geralt smiles back and targets the hairline. The spot is surprisingly sensitive and he has to refrain himself from slapping a hand over his mouth to conceal the small snort that leaves him. He hears Geralt's soft snickers. That beautiful bastard.

He traces his fingers over the shell of his ear, and giggles are flowing more freely from Jaskier's lips. His shoulders shake ever so slightly. He's feeling particularly bold tonight and nestles his face in the crook just behind his ear and between the back of his skull. He takes a deep whiff of his scent. Sandalwood and fresh blackberries with a hint of lavender.

Meanwhile Jaskier's trying hard not to lose his mind or blow his cover. Right now he couldn't be more thankful that he was turned away from the man. The growing heat between his legs would've surely given him away and Geralt would've never spoken to him again. His warm breath tickled him lightly and breathy gasps of laughter left his lips.

He began nipping and nibbling the very back of his neck and Jaskier's giggles raised in pitch. His hand fluttered under his chin and scratched maddeningly along his jawline. He kept it up for a few more minutes before stopping as he himself settled in for sleep.

Jaskier couldn't feel more awake.

~~~~

Twice in a row could be a coincidence, but three would make it a pattern. They left the town and set out on the road, traveling as they normally do. Jaskier's mind was reeling from the night before. He could still feel Geralt nuzzling into his neck and he craved more. That night, when he set up camp, Jaskier pressed their bedrolls together. Geralt gave him a strange look but didn't protest. Maybe he was just as excited about going to bed as he was.

After dinner, they laid on their backs and stared at the stars. They pointed to different constellations and shared the stories they've heard about them. When a shooting star streaked across the sky, Jaskier shook his shoulder and pointed up.

"Did you see it? Come on, make a wish!" he closed his eyes and silently asked for the last two nights not to be a fluke. That it would happen again because that would mean Geralt liked it too. And that meant he liked him.

Geralt rolled his eyes but complied. His lids slid shut and he wished that for once emotions came easy to him. That he could let Jaskier know how he felt. They continued their stargazing for a little while longer before settling in for the night.

Jaskier again stayed awake, hoping for a repeat of the last two nights. And again, Geralt continued his secret routine of hearing Jaskier's sweet laughter before he dozed off. Though this time, Geralt starts lower, scratching the backs of his knees. Soft snickers fell from his lips as he curled up. Geralt's hand scratched up the backs of his thighs and Jaskier kicked in his "sleep."

Meanwhile Geralt wore the fondest smile on his face. His hands drew idle shapes over his hip and along his back. Jaskier arched away and squirmed like mad. His fingers tapped out rhythms to songs, his songs. That made him practically melt in his arms. He really had been listening... both hands traced the soft muscle on his stomach and made circles over the soft skin. And then he added that torturously light, incredibly teasing nibbling at the back of his neck and it was just too much to bear. The closeness of it all. The overwhelming fondness he clearly felt but was afraid to share. The touches so light they drove him completely mad and he was begging for a firmer touch that would send him straight to utter insanity.

He couldn't bear it anymore. He needed something more; he needed things like this to happen during the day, when he didn't have to pretend. He needed Geralt to know it was okay and he needed to know how he felt because he was sure he'd explode if he had to endure another night of this incredibly torturous, overwhelmingly tender moment that he couldn't enjoy to its fullest extent. So he finally snapped.

"Fuck Ihihi cahan't do this anymore!" he quietly exclaimed and turned around to face Geralt. Said man looked like a frozen deer. Jaskier thought it was rather adorable. His eyes were wide in shock, mouth slightly agape and his cheeks puffed out in embarrassment. Though his face couldn't exactly blush, his ears would turn red and his normally warm body temperature would rise even more. But he didn't need to blush for Jaskier to know he was incredibly flustered.

Fuck. Geralt was left speechless as Jaskier turned around and snapped at him. He'd blown it: had gone too far and woke Jaskier and upset the other man. He probably thought he was weird and a creep and- wait... I can't do this anymore. What did that mean?

"I'm sorry. I thought you were asleep," he managed to choke out but didn't meet Jaskier's gaze. He rolled his eyes and gave a small, amused huff.

"Yeah, I figured as much. But it's okay, really, you don't have to only do this when you think I'm asleep," he assured softly.

Geralt nodded, still unable to look directly at him. "So uh, how long have you known?" he dared to ask. Jaskier shrugged.

"Just the three nights, including tonight. Wait- how long have you been doing this?" he asked, furrowing his brow. Geralt muttered something, barely audible. "Speak up dear, we don't all have witcher hearing," he teased lightly.

Geralt turned away so he didn't have to look at him. "Few months." Now it was Jaskier's turn to gawk, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

"A few months?" he asked incredulously. Geralt curled in on himself. He'd gone too far, he knew he should've never done this, should've just let him be. But he was selfish and secretly needy.

No wonder Jaskier had been having those teasing dreams! It was all Geralt. "You're telling me that you made me suffer for months dreaming of you turning me into an incoherent mess while I could've had the real thing?" he asked before he could think better of it and promptly snapped his mouth shut. Geralt turned back around at those words, curious and hopeful.

While Geralt wasn't capable of blushing, Jaskier was not so lucky. His cheeks glowed bright red, even in the dark. Now it was his turn to look away. Geralt let his lips quirk up in a tiny smile. "So... you're not mad?"

Jaskier scoffed and crossed his arms. "I'm a little fed up that you thought you could only do this in my sleep, but no. I'm not mad," he said, and a soft smile of his own found his face. "What I want to know is why. I mean, I tried to make it clear that it was okay for you to, y'know, be affectionate if you so wished. Clapping my shoulder, holding my hand, touching my hair, I never once shied away from your touch. I thought I was doing a rather fine job domesticating you-" Geralt scoffed and Jaskier glared playfully.

"I'm not domesticated," he said. Jaskier chuckled.

"Believe me, I know. But, I liked to think you were warming up to me, that you would just do something if you felt like it. And I mean, I know I can be a handful and you could've very easily put me in my place with that knowledge. Most people wouldn't think twice before using that to their advantage. So why didn't you?" he asked gently.

Geralt grunted as he thought of a sufficient answer. "I found out one night by accident. You told me in your sleep after I pressed against your side. I thought about doing it, but it just. It never seemed like the right time to test it. I'm not really... playful or funny, I guess. I wasn't too sure how to go about it," he admits. Jaskier scooted closer, eyes glistening in the pale moonlight streaming in through the trees.

"But something made you continue. What was it?"

Geralt tilted his head down, as if to hide. "I'm not sure. You just seemed so happy. And I liked that I was the one making you happy. You just seemed so peaceful when you were sleeping, and then you'd smile and uh, you have a nice laugh."

Jaskier's heart was fluttering, and he was sure Geralt could hear it. "Geralt? Do you... like me?" He looked at him.

"Of course I do."

"No I mean, do you like like me?" he asked nervously, biting his lip and trying not to sound too hopeful, too desperate.

Geralt nodded after a moment of tense silence, giving a gentle hum. His lips quirked in a slightly teasing smile. "I suppose I do. Do you... like like me?"

Jaskier couldn't help but giggle at his adorable awkwardness. "I've only been following you across the continent for years and years. What do you think?"

"So that's a yes?" Jaskier tilted his head back with a bright laugh and nodded.

"Good." He hugged him close and they settled under the covers. A beat, and then realization dawned on Geralt. "Wait, so when you said I made you suffer for months without the real thing, does that mean you like it?"

Jaskier went stiff and his blush deepened. "No comment." Geralt's smile widened.

"I think it does."

"Shut uuuuup!" Jaskier whined and playfully smacked him.

Geralt chuckled deeply. The sound sent a pleasant chill up Jaskier's spine. "I'll take that as a yes. It's too late for us to make a ruckus, but you should know that I plan to test the extent of my knowledge tomorrow."

Jaskier was already giggling and squirming away. "C-can't wait."

[rev-1832]

please for the love of all fuck explain mcyt to me

Omg I've been waiting for this

So mcyt means minecraft youtube, but usually also includes Twitch streamers. It's like a in general thing, and not pointing to anything specific

But since you sound so confused, I'm gonna explain to you the Dream SMP lore 'cause why not

TL;DR: Chaos and war, basically also like a hamilton, heathers, and les mis crossover (but i mean if you want to understand everything you should read.)

If theres spelling mistakes, sorry

Note: Everyone on the smp has three canon lives, and when you loose all three you're canonically dead (except philza minecraft. he has one canon life bc hes known as the hardcore guy bc he had a minecraft hardcore series for 6 years until he was killed by a spider while trying to fight a baby zombie lmaoooooo)

IMPORTANT: THIS IS ALL RP. IRL THEY’RE ALL FRIENDS. THERES A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE PLAYER AND THE CHARACTER. THE RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T ACTUALLY TOGETHER IRL. ITS ALL THEIR CHARACTERS THAT THEY MADE UP. (obviously the best friends stuff are irl)

In the beginning there were 8: The Dream Team (Dream, Georgenotfound [the guy in my pfp btw :)] , Sapnap), Badboyhalo, Awesamdude, Ponk, Callahan, and Alyssa. Around this time, nothing much happened since it was all brand new, uhh yeah (this was around may-july of this year)

Then around late july new members joined: Tommyinnit, Tubbo, Wilbur Soot, Eret, Skeppy, Fundy, Punz, Purpled, and Schlatt. This part is very important to the lore, because the lore kinda started off with the british (so tommy, tubbo, wilbur, eret) Schlatt was banned, cause Sapnap was the one who invited him and Dream didn't know who he was. He'll come up later.

So Wilbur and Tommy decided to create a new nation called "L'Manberg". Also around this time (i think) Nihachu and Jack Manifold joined. They also were part of L'Manberg. There was this huge revolution between Dream Smp and L'Manberg. Very historical period on this smp. In the end, (i think it was?) L'Manberg who won (if memory serves).

After that, L'Manberg had started growing bigger, with a lot more buildings added and stuff, notably Church Prime, which where they created a religion for Twitch Prime, which is how you can sub to your favorite twitch streamer for free if you link your amazon prime account. I'm pretty sure around this time, Quackity, Karl Jacobs (if you watch Mr. Beast; yes, that karl jacobs), HBomb, Technoblade, and Antfrost joined. And then the railway war started. It happened when Tommy accidentally ran over Dream with a Minecart and then took his stuff. This is how the disc war started (once again, if memory serves). The two discs Tommy owns are his prized possesions, and Dream took them. Also around this time the Pet War started, with Sapnap killing someones(i forgot oops) pet. And then more pet killing. Annnnd then even more.

Then there was the L'Manberg eletion. There was POG2020, who was Wilbur and Tommy, SWAG2020, Quackity and George, Coconut2020, Fundy and Nihachu, and Schlatt2020 which was Schlatt. Oh yeah and he got unbanned btw

SWAG2020 and Schlatt2020 decided to combine their votes, thus Shclatt became president and Quackity his vp. Oh and ever since the election Quackity has this grudge against George bc he slept through the election. Schlatt renamed L'Manberg to Manberg, and exiled Tommy and Wilbur from it.

Schlatt is a evil dictator who likes power. He and Quackity started fighting, and so Quackity became part of Tommy and Wilbur's side. Around this time was The Battle of the Lake and The Burning Eiffel Tower, both part of the pet war. (It seems like a innocent war but its actually brutal lmao) Also (irl) Mr. Beast had a $10,000 Taco Bell gift card hunt. Eret won. It was at the cords 6969,420, because haha funny number haha weed number. This has nothing to do with the lore but yeah. Eret also became King of the SMP 

Then there was the Manberg festival. It was to celebrate democracy, but Tubbo puts it as "i decorated my own execution" bc he helped decorate it, but he was murdered there. At the festival was the Manberg Massicare, where Technoblade was forced to shoot tubbo, but he released a firework rocket kiling Tubbo, Schlatt, Quackity, and a few others. Many people lost one of their canon lives. Wilbur went all J.D like and planted 11 stacks of TNT underneath Manberg, and wanted to blow it up.

Pogtopia was formed, which is a ravine which i think is underneath? manberg? Which included basically everybody who wasn't neutral or with schlatt. On November 16 was the Manberg VS Pogtopia war, but the Badlands were also there. The Badlands is a nation of four people: Bbh, Skeppy, Awesamdude, and Antfrost. They faught with the loosing side, so the chaos could continue. Eret disobeyed Dream and got stripped of his royalty, and gave it to George. Oh and during this time, George had no idea there was a war and was building a cottagecore mushroom house with callahan and was very confused with all the death messages in the chat. Schlatt died canonically of a heart attack or stroke (no one knows tbh). Tommy became president, passed it to wilbur bc he still has unfinished buissness with dream (the discs), and wilbur passed it to Tubbo, who made Tommy his vp. Technoblade then argued about how government is bad, and they're just repeating history. Philza Minecraft joined the server, but no one could find him, until Wilbur blew up L'Manberg (they rechanged the name also). Wilbur then made Philza kill him, so Wilbur also became canonically dead. Then Techno, still mad at L'Manberg and governments, summoned two withers and made it attack the others. The Geogre decided to check out what was happening and helped fight. After the chaos, Captain Puffy and ConnorEatsPants joined the smp. About one to two weeks later Vikkstar and LazarBeam joined, then about three months after that Ranboo joined.

They rebuilt L'Manberg on stilts, and there water where the explosion was, but now with coral and stuff to make it all pretty. Tommy and Ranboo decided to go steal from Georges mushroom house, but then also griefed it and burnt it, and Dream, being a George simp, built obsidian walls around L'Manberg. They took Tommy to court, and was put on probation. Then Tommy got exiled (again) but this time by his own best friend. This made Quackity vp and Fundy secutary of state. Dream also took Georges king thing and gave it back to Eret because Eret has a good relationship with everybody, whereas George being King just caused chaos cause hes close to Dream. Quackity and Karl made Mexican L'Manberg, and George and Sapnap joined in also. War against Dream SMP, it was a negotiation and it got renamed into El Rapids (reference to Chilling in Cedar Rapids, which Hilary Clinton once said, and Quackity referenced it, got it trending #1 one twitter (well i mean dsmp gets things trending like everyday but), and got DONALD TRUMP TO SUBTWEET HIM. (This happened irl)

In his exile, Ghostbur (wilbur as ghost) and Tommy made Logstedshire, and Dream was often there to watch him. Dream then blew it up, and now Tommy is living with Techno in his arctic place. Currently, Quackity made a thing called The Butcher Army, so they could execute Techno. Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy, and I also think Ranboo? are trying to get another festival, and yes its a secret execution plan, but for them to kill Dream, who they realized is who they need to kill first. The disc war is still not over. Tommy has one of his discs, but Skeppy is in possesion of the other one.

Unluckily for Tommy (reguarding the discs), something happened in the Badlands. Bbh was digging out his underground statue room (he plans to make a statue of everyone of the server) and found this crimson egg. He, Antfrost, and Captain Puffy kinda got possesed. Also since Skeppy didn't really hang out on the server at night, but bbh does (OF FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION HE AND BBH ARE BEST FRIENDS) Captain Puffy created Discount Skeppy, which is her in a Skeppy skin. Skeppy found out, had a little conflict with her during her stream, but it was resolved, and at one point in the stream, he asked bbh to choose between him and the egg, and when bbh didn't answer, he went to the egg, put himself inside it, and logged off. Couple days later, bbh and puffy got him out, hes now possed by the crimson, called Technoblade his "best friend" infront of bbh, and is now living in a grass hut. Bad is convinced theres still some skeppt left, but yeah. Skeppy also wanted to burn the disc.

End of lore for now, bc its like if you miss ONE STREAM YOU MISS LIKE A REALLY IMPORTANT EVENT AND ITS STRESSFUL

Not much part of lore but Nihachu and Captain Puffy once went on a date. They’re both bi irl and Puffy was on Nihachu’s Love or Host (twitch dating show. its really entertaining) Captain Puffy was a contestant, and chose love. (LoH is also how Nihachu and Wilbur met.) 

Funfact: Theres 5 irl lgbtq+ ppl on the server (people who came out, anyways cause you never know, ya know?) Antfrost is gay, Eret, Nihachu, Captain Puffy are all bi, and Karl Jacobs is ace spec 

Family stuff: Philza Minecraft (he'll come up later) had two twins with a Samsung Smart Refrigerator in the 70's. The two twins being Wilbur and Technoblade (he'll come up later also) and also had another son, Tommy. They also adopted Tubbo, who they found in a box on the side of the road. When he grew up, Wilbur met Sally the Salmon, and they had a fox together (dont ask just go with it), which was Fundy. (The character) Fundy is trans, and yeah . Bbh is a dad to sapnap and yeah

Oh and a new member is coming on today on Quackity’s stream (twitch.tv/quackityhq at 5pm CST if you want to watch) 

I left out some parts, sorry, but theres always the wiki...

Wilbur Soot is also a musician! He wrote I’m In Love With an Egirl, The Internet Ruined Me, and Your New Boyfriend. (did you know the last one beat taylor swift for #1 trending on youtube? idk why but im really proud of him for that) They’re all catJam’s. Go listen!

[nostalgic-pancakes]

Watching the starlings as autumn draws in

Summary: Tommy and his friends try on some skirts, and he reflects a bit on how they all got here. (It's a happy story) Title from September by Sparky Deathcap

Pairings: None! Platonic everyone (esp in irl fics_)

Read on AO3 (preferred place to read)

Word count: 2570

Warnings: None, except for surface-level references to the exile/prison arcs, but not much.

Other notes: I wrote this in a fit of madness last night in like three hours at 2 am, so i’ll probably edit it honestly but for now, enjoy! (If the CC’s ever display discomfort with this type of fic I will take it down)

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"WELCOME BACK TO THE STREAM, BOYS!" Tommy exclaims, rubbing his hands together as he starts rapid-fire answering questions about the stream, and the stream title from chat. It's funny, how over time, Tommy's come to see Chat as this one entity- an old friend. The nervousness of answering questions as a fifteen year old with nothing but a big personality, a twitch account and a copy of Minecraft is all but gone now, nineteen years old and happier than he's ever been.

Dreadfulzombie19: what are u doin this stream

"THANK YOU FOR ASKING, Dreadfulzombie19, today is gonna be a bit different, innit Tubbo?" Tommy raises his voice a bit at the end of his sentence, just loud enough for one of his flatmates to hear him. When Tubbo yells back an affirmative, Tommy turns back to his setup. Chat's gone a bit wild again, even though he, Tubbo and Ranboo have been living together for over a year now.

"Okay, okay, calm down chat- so recently I was at university, as usual right? And I had an eight AM class again, and… yeah I can see you all can relate."

"BUT! BUT! On my way back to the flat, I saw something really cool." Tommy hesitates in his speech to take a sip of coke again- his blood pressure's been acting up lately and watches Chat to wild again, asking him what he saw.

"Okay, so there was a shop- new place, which doesn't happen often this is fucking Brighton- and they sold skirts and dresses and stuff with adjustments for AMAB sizes!" Chat goes a bit bonkers, but Tommy's mod team- a little smaller than it used to be, now that he isn't the centre of YouTube or Twitch attention anymore, none of them are- are handling it, and pretty well.

"So I had to go, right? As many of you probably know, last year, I made the astounding discovery that gender-based stereotypes and expectations are, in fact, fake and I should not give a SHIT. And so I go in and look through the stuff- it's a really poggers shop by the way, and I find the perfect thing- it was the most poggers skirts and shit, okay? So, today's stream is going to have me wearing this pogchamp shit and wearing it right, with the help of…" Tommy ends his monologue by picking up the joke shaker-things that Phil had gotten him as a housewarming gift last year and indicates for his first two helpers to enter the office.

In walks his mother, face obscured from view as always, waving to the camera, and Wilbur, also wearing one of his only skirts for this occasion. Eret had taught him, on a phonecall in the skirt shop that week about the different types of skirts with a handy diagram. Wilbur's was a pleated circle skirt, brown to offset the bright yellow of his sweater and beanie, the same colour as his hair. It's very swoosh-y, so he's wearing black leggings with his regular shoes too. Motherinnit's also wearing her favourite skirt, a baby blue prairie skirt, Tommy thinks, and it's one he's seen fairly often.

Wilbur ducks down in order to show his face to Chat, and ruffles Tommy's hair while he's at it. Tommy's taller, but not by much, so Wilbur still fucking makes short jokes, That fucker.

Chat is now going so fast that he simply cannot read anything but some of the all caps messages and can barely make out some of the emotes.

"Okay, OKAY, CALM DOWN CHAT! WE HAVE TO GET TO FUCKING BUSINESS!" Tommy yells into the mix, like he did when he was sixteen and used the 'many people find me annoying at first' intro. Nowadays he just lets the content speak for itself. Anyone who wants to be here already is, by now.

Wilbur laughs a bit, and that hasn't changed at all. "Tommy, how is chat supposed to calm down if you're not calm?"

"I am their god!! They will obey via sheer digital willpower!" Tommy replies back, pretty zealously (What? An English Literature class is mandatory for his film degree, and The Great Gatsby by Zelda Fitzgerald is a good book, as are most of the other assigned ones. He's had entire conversations with Techno with just lit quotes and it drives everyone insane. Tommy loves it.) Chat seemingly has listened to his godlike abilities, with a few OG's spotting his half-quotation of one of Dream's last lines in the Dream SMP. The rest are spamming 'MOTHERINNIT'.

"If having a shitty magic trick book from a washed-up politician makes you a god, then what does that make me?" Wilbur replies, with one of Foolish's lines and swatting his hand at Tommy. Tommy swats back.

"Bitch" "Arsehole" "Shithead" "Fuckface" Wilbur finishes cheerily, as if this happens all the time. It does. Chat's used their antics now, four years of consistently making content together will do that for you.

Eventually Motherinnit reminds them both to get back on Topic, and Tommy goes back to facing the camera, addressing Chat directly.

"Today, my beloved mother, and my idiot brother-" "hey!" "And maybe my flatmates will be joining me to show off some cool as SHIT skirts! And a dress or two. We all have our selections, right?" Everyone nods in affirmative, even Tubbo and Ranboo. Though the camera can't see them. Ranboo's just come home from his final class, then. He should probably take the first hour back off, and judging by how Tubbo is forcefully judging Ranboo to the shower, he probably gets it. Tommy signs an affirmative to both of them, and gets back to the camera, where Wilbur's showing off all of his (very poggers) very stupid brown or yellow skirts. Tommy's are in cool colours, for fuck's sake.

"Oh yeah, Puffy just confirmed she'll be on stream! She'll be here in about twenty minutes, accounting for fucking traffic, and Niki' going to get onto VC after her own stream, what game is it this time?"

"GRIS." Wilbur answers.

"Poggers- she is the SHIT and will join us soon! So expect some QUALITY QUALITY content this stream!! Remember to not spam her chat to finish faster." Exclaims Tommy, even if it ends up as a light warning, as he picks up his own very poggers skirts from the extra armchair in his office to show the camera.

One is the classic red and white, mostly white but with bright red on the waist (elastic) and the bottom, and it reached to about Tommy's knee, if worn at the hip. It had no pleats, but the red bits were a very nice velvet texture, and while the skirt was heavy, it still had very much swoosh value, and pockets!! Big ones!! He slips the skirt on top of his jeans before entering camera view, the skirt visible in all its classic Tommyinnit glory, as he takes his place right next to Wilbur, who just took. a quick spin at the behest of several dono's., Skirt spying out from his lower shins all the way to his knee, making visible one of his (many) petticoats. ("What? It's cold all the fucking time here, Toms.") Tommy also makes a quick little spin, skirt flying outward, not upward, so it looks like he's hula hooping for a moment there. Lastly, Motherinnit spins around too, and while her skirts do not swoosh, she looks opulent, like she was about to go to waltz with the enemy, for whom she has a dagger in the back of her dress for. (He finished Anna Karenina and the Six of Crows duology within the same week and has not yet recovered. Jack Edwards is laughing at him as he thinks in his English Lit Graduate glory.)

It's fun, trying on different skirts- he and Wilbur accidentally bought the same dress at one point, which they paired up to wear, darting off into their respective changing rooms while giggling like idiots with their checkered blouses and the grindl skirts that Niki had sent over when she heard of this stream idea, laughing the whole time. Tubbo enters as dramatically as possible with Puffy, and while Tubbo looks really fucking good in his handkerchief skirt with embroidered bees and plain white shirt, it's Puffy who steals the show with an exact, real life version of her red banquet dress.

Fans from way back in the SMP, before Tommy had started branching out start going insane and are bringing back emotes Tommy wasn't sure were still available, but she is fucking stunning- deep shades of red and crimson, with slits on either side of her waist and all the detailing. She'd gotten the contact for her dressmaker through Bernadette Banner, Tommy recalls- she was so fucking cool when she streamed with him once, and gotten him to swear less and supplant those world's with bigger ones to intimidate instead. While he still curses like a sailor as part of his persona, it's less so and he does way less in real life these days, unless the situation calls for it. It's also just rude, especially in uni libraries, where he spends too much time these days wondering why he didn't read more as a kid.

Puffy's stolen his audience for a WHILE, and Niki coming on hasn't helped any, so Tommy exits camera view for a while to hug Ranboo really quickly- he's had midterms and has basically been dying all month.

Everyone on this stream- Tommy, Wilbur, Motherinnit, Tubbo, Puffy, Niki and Ranboo enter the camera frame after entering their dressing rooms for the last time on this particular stream, Puffy with full in-character wigs and makeup, Tommy in an Edwardian-Gothic reminiscent black and red dress, Ranboo in something he bought when he gap-yeared in Japan, punk lolita or something, Niki flaunting her pink in a Marie Antoinette style show of finery, Tubbo dressing in all green this time, something like a very deranged biology teacher who hasn't slept in days (Tubbo hasn't-Tommy has to get into that), Wilbur like a forest-nymph, all earthy tones and swishy fabrics and nature highlights, and finally Motherinnit, who hasn't changed but is here to take pictures as they all lean in together to fit into frame, as drastic as their height difference is. Niki is going to be edited in later, and everyone on the 'Dream SMP but nobody does Dream SMP and we're all fucking nerds' discord server is going to get a copy.

The stream wraps up there, after about two hours, and it's only about six in the evening- a far cry from the late nights and long hours from the beginning of Tommy's career, so everyone runs to their changing areas for the last time, into pajamas now, and packs away all of the clothes they wore, properly, as to not incense Karolina Zebrowska, and Jemma, Dan's wife, who would look at them disappointedly and nobody wants a sad Jemma because that means no cooing at their son. Also it just feels shitty.

Everyone huddles in Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo's living room, and they out on UP for like, the millionth fucking time (they still cry when Ellie dies), and Tommy is leaning into Wilbur's side and feeling his mum play with the hair in his very small, stubby ponytail he's developed by being in Uni as he and Tubbo intertwine their legs together and Ranboo rests his head in the tangle of limbs, playing with his fidget cube. Puffy stays on Wilbur's side, intently texting someone and smiling the whole while, and Tommy takes a moment to reflect (something he's been getting better at doing) on how the actual hell they all got here.

The Dream SMP was always going to end- everyone knew it, if course, they were the fucking writers. But by the time they did, not only were their respective brands too closely intertwined to just… sever that quickly, but they'd become too close to even want to. So the SMP discord never shut, even though Dream and George had planned it months ago, and they continued supporting each other with their interests. Wilbur made a lot more music solo, with his band and even just random ass streams where he practiced guitar for an hour. He kept playing Minecraft, but it wasn't his main focus. A bunch of people left. More stayed. YouTube left him alone.

Dream, George and Sapnap are still Minecraft streamers, but their YouTube channels are mostly blogs of them being poor excuses of adults with other former SMP members joining in sometimes. Tommy and the Dream Team were closer than ever, even though the seeds of their friendship had been sowed when they used to linger after heavy streams together, reassuring each other that none of that was true and that nothing like… that would happen in real life, because Dream had used real abuse tactics, and those still hurt unless immediately taken care of. So they were. It was a running joke that Dream was stuck at 99 million subscribers since nobody really wanted the face reveal anymore. The other Dream team members were doing peachy.

Phil and Techno were also still primarily Minecraft streamers, but they also released things like advice videos and mental health stuff, especially for relationships. They had a new scripted series where Tommy was a minor character. The dadza jokes were still as real, and yes, outside of streaming, both of them were lovely people and responsible adults (mostly). They collaborated with DanTDM and co a lot more now.

Puffy and Niki kept doing games, but did lots of different ones, testing point and clickers to triple A titles, and making it all fucking hilarious while they were at it.

So where had that left Tommy?

After the Dream SMP, he'd kind of had no idea what to do, and he was going to University for the first time, so he just… did whatever he thought would be fun. He learned about vintage fashion from the queens themselves- Mina Le, Bernadette Banner and Karolina Zebrowska and had fun learning how to sew for the first time, fixing and making his own clothes for the first time, clunky as they were, Wilbur had cried, genuinely, when he saw the Lovejoy shirts that Tommy had made for the band. He'd found a genuine love for literature in university, so Tommy started talking to booktubers and studytubers like Jack Edwards and Noelle Stevenson. Tubbo and Ranboo had joined him, fucking around in any YouTube niche they found even remotely interesting. Eventually, they all found a happy medium- a bit of everything.

Some people obviously weren't happy with that but Tommy was happy as he was, making what he liked with his best friend's, living together close enough to most of their friends (family) to have fun and drop in on one another at ass-o-clock in the morning to comfort, to laugh. His sub count hasn't gone up in a while- most of his audience is static, with about 80-90k online on a stream at any time.p

It was a nice feeling, to have carved out a space for himself and the people he loves, and be is so, so glad that he got this chance.

Looking at his mostly asleep family, Tommy thinks 'yeah. Life is good.' as the last thought before he sleeps.

[wrestlingisfake]

Hard to Kill preview

Kenny Omega & Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson vs. Rich Swann & Chris Sabin & Moose - When Kenny Omega won the AEW men’s world title on December 2, he completed a long-simmering heel turn by forming an alliance with Impact Wrestling executive Don Callis.  Omega and Callis began showing up on both Impact and AEW programming acting like Omega is “the real world champion,” which irritated Impact world champion Rich Swann.  Omega also reunited with Impact’s men’s tag team champions, Gallows and Anderson, who had already been having issues with former champs Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley.

This match was originally booked as Omega/Gallows/Anderson vs. Swann/Sabin/Shelley, but the day before the show Impact announced that “unavoidable circumstances” prevented Shelley from traveling to the show in Nashville.  Shelley’s last-minute replacement is Moose, who has recently been feuding with Swann.  For over eight months, Moose has been calling himself the “TNA world champion,” presumably to set up a “who’s the real champion?” match with the Impact world champion.  But that seems kind of silly now that Omega and Swann are kind of doing the same thing, but with more credibility.  So I was hoping they’d get Swann vs. Moose wrapped up before Swann vs. Omega got going.  I certainly wasn’t expecting Moose to be involved in this match.

Because of Omega and the AEW interpromotional angle, this may well be the biggest show Impact has run in years.  So Impact is motivated to deliver the best they can for whatever new audience this match will attract.  The big question is whether AEW is invested enough to send a few of their guys to appear on this show for a hot angle.  Any unadvertised AEW wrestler causing any kind of ruckus on this show will get people talking.  But AEW and Impact seem to be taking their time with this storyline, and they may not think now is the time to drop the next bombshell plot point.

To me, the likeliest finishes are a) Omega’s team dominates and wins to get more heat, or b) Swann scores the winning fall to set up an Omega vs. Swann singles match.  The best setup for that match would be Swann pinning Omega, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.  But if they sell it like Omega’s team are the heavy favorites, and that Omega’s ego is bruised by an upset even if he didn’t lose the fall, then that can still work.  But then again, that was my gut feeling before Moose was added to the match.  Now it feels far more likely that Moose will turn on his partners or walk out on them, which could change the entire complexion of the match.  That uncertainty has me pretty interested in how things unfold.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan - This is billed as a “barbed wire massacre” match, so the ring ropes will be replaced with barbed wire, and objects wrapped in barbed wire will be provided at ringside to use as weapons.  Obviously, in this sort of match nobody is going to be disqualified or counted out. 

I can’t say I understand the storyline leading up to this.  Edwards and Callihan had a vicous feud following a 2018 incident where Callihan botched a spot and hit Edwards in the face with a baseball bat.  Then they seemed to go down separate paths, and then recently Sami and Ken Shamrock started picking on Edwards and his wife for some reason.  The idea now appears to be that these two will never be able to settle it, except that they both clearly put it all aside for the better part of a year.  In any case, they’ve run out of hardcore stips to use in their matches, so here we are.

I believe this is the fourth “barbed wire massacre” match Impact has booked.  The first two were on pay-per-view in 2005 and 2008.  The third was taped for television in 2018, but was only streamed on Twitch because it was “too violent for TV.”  I remember watching the first one (Abyss vs. Sabu) in 2005 and being too squeamish to enjoy the performance.  In matches like this you have to hope the wrestlers know what they’re doing and don’t go too far just to create a “moment.”  But with Callihan and Edwards, that doesn’t apply, so I just have to hope the match was taped in advance, so that if one of them was gravely injured we’d have seen reports about it by now.

Both of these guys are pushed as top acts in Impact, but Callihan always seems to come up short in big matches like this.  I can’t see either guy accepting defeat and letting the feud end.  But if this is really the final chapter, then I think Edwards needs the last laugh more than Sami does.

Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie - Purrazzo is defending the Impact women’s championship. Valkyrie held the title from January 2019 to January 2020--the longest single reign in the title’s history--but after losing the belt she spent 2020 preoccupied in comedy stuff with Rosemary and John E. Bravo.  So Taya’s doing the whole “you’ve only done so well as champion because I haven’t gotten around to facing you” bit.

I haven’t been able to get into Impact’s women’s division.  I suppose it’s because so many of the characters seem superficial and unserious.  Like, Purrazzo is presented as a solid in-ring performer, but outside the ring she’s the kind of self-absorbed chicken heel who plots with her sidekick to devise ways to duck upcoming challengers.  Impact is full of characters like that, but the women’s division in particular has almost nothing else.  Hell, Taya was playing that role when she was the heel champion.  So I can’t say I’m very motivated to see these two fight.  I also don’t really believe we’re going to get a title change at this point.

Manik vs. Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju - This is a three-way match for the X division championship, so whoever scores the first fall over any opponent will win Manik’s title.  This story started with Bey as champion and Raju as his crony, but Raju was the one henchman in wrestling history who managed to manipulate his boss to his advantage, so Raju won the title from Bey in a three-way with TJP.  Raju was so worried about losing his belt to TJP that he arranged a stipulation where TJP could no longer challenge him.  Then Raju issued an open challenge answered by Manik...the masked man character originally played by TJP.  So now Manik is the champion and definitely not TJP, but Raju and Bey aren’t buying it.

I don’t really care who wins this.  Every time they do a multi-man match for the X title, they demonstrate that multi-man matches don’t settle anything, because there’s always somebody who’s like “Well I wasn’t pinned, so I should get another match!”  So if, for example, Bey pins Raju, you know it’s just going to lead to Bey vs. TJP and/or Manik later.  Except Raju is going to weasel his way into the situation, for another three-way.  (Unless Crazzy Steve is free that weekend, and it’ll be a four-way.)  There’s no direction here. The best thing that could happen to the X title (aside from retiring it as an obsolete relic) is if some AEW guys came in to fight for it.  And I don’t expect that to happen soon.

Havok & Neveah vs. Tasha Steelz & Kiera Hogan - This match is the tournament final to decide which team will be awarded the Impact women’s tag team championship.  The title was originally introduced in 2009, but a lack of interest in booking it properly led to ODB teaming with Eric Young to win the belts in March 2012.  The last title defense I can find was in May 2012, although it took over a year for Impact to officially abandon the championship.

I can see why Impact was motivated to bring the title back, since throughout 2020 most of their women’s roster was paired off in various alliances: Taya Valkyrie & Rosemary, Deonna Purrazzo & Kimber Lee, Kylie Rae & Susie, etc. But just because most of the women on the roster have a natural partner doesn’t mean there are enough women to fill out a tag team division.  I suspect these two teams are going to end up rematching a lot for the tag belts, while the teams they eliminated in the tournament go back to focusing on singles action.  If just having women’s tag titles automatically meant expanding the women’s roster and pushing more women, then that would be great.  But we’ve seen that it doesn’t work that way, not only in WWE, but also the last time Impact tried it.

My gut feeling is that Steelz and Hogan have more future potential, so I’d probably prefer to put the title on them.  But Havok and Neveah have the edge in size and meanness, and I could easily see Impact wanting them to dominate as the champions a la the Road Warriors.

Eric Young & Cody Deaner & Joe Doering vs. Cousin Jake & Rhino & Tommy Dreamer - This is being called an “old school rules” match, which is Impact’s way of saying “ex-ECW guys are in this so we want to say ‘extreme rules’ but WWE trademarked that.” Basically there are no count-outs or disqualifications.  Cody and Jake were a tag team until Deaner became obsessed with proving himself against Young; when he failed, he turned on Jake and joined Young’s group.  Rhino tried to help Jake out, but it wasn’t until Tommy Dreamer got involved that they were able to even the odds.  I’m pretty sure Young’s faction is just getting started and they are going to destroy the babyfaces here.

Ethan Page vs. The Karate Man - Page is one half of The North, which spent most of 2019-2020 dominating the men’s tag team division.  Karate Man is the alter ego of...Ethan Page.  So he’s fighting himself.  That’s always fun.

The backstory here is that the North struggled to recover from losing the tag title earlier this year, and Page grew increasingly desperate to convince Josh Alexander that they could regroup. The tipping point was when Alexander was wrestling Brian Myers and Karate Man interfered, causing Josh to get disqualified.  Page did a skit where he tried to get therapy from Karate Man, before they decided to fight instead.

The bigger story behind all this is that Page’s contract with Impact Wrestling reportedly expired at the end of 2020, so he’s technically not even with the promotion anymore.  Reportedly, this “match” was taped weeks ago.  Just because Page is a free agent doesn’t mean he won’t simply re-sign with Impact at any moment.  But this looks to be his swan song before he moves on...or the pivotal angle that sets up how he’s staying.

Obviously this is going to have to be pre-taped with Patty Duke Show special effects.  I’m not sure if that means it’ll be a ~*~cinematic match~*~ though.  They could do a weird brawl in a weird location like the Boneyard Match or Stadium Stampede, or they could just do it on the normal set in a normal ring and not do anything weird except the split screen effects.  I honestly don’t know what to expect.

Rosemary & Crazzy Steve vs. Tenille Dashwood & Kaleb with a K - Rosemary and Steve used to be in The Decay together years ago, and occasionally Impact remembers that and has them interact.  Tenille is formerly Emma from WWE, playing a stuck-up Instagram influencer gimmick with Kaleb as her personal assistant.  Rosemary already beat Dashwood in the setup to this match, and I don’t think Kaleb is going to last long against Steve, so I guess the weirdo babyfaces will triumph.

Josh Alexander vs. Brian Myers - This is scheduled for the pre-show.  As noted above, Alexander and Ethan Page had some issues that came to a head when Page caused Alexander to lose a match to Myers.  So Josh wants to avenge that loss.  It’s kinda funny to me that the serious match about wins and losses and professionalism is on the pre-show while the “Ethan Page beats himself up” comedy is on the main show.  But anyway, it seems like Alexander is headed for a singles push, so he might as well get that started with a win.

[goffilolo]

Demise!Izuku as a Youtuber?

Yep! You heard me right. Demise server is a strange little land, full of strange little ideas, unfortunitely this one idea in particular wasn’t so little. So without further ado here’s all the shit we came up with in the server in regards to izuku as a youtuber within demise!au:

If Izuku was a YouTuber can you imagine the fucking chaos dumpster fire his channel would be

He's be like an edgy twink Jenna marbles(edited)

Doing Me time every damn day

bandit is jennas dogs

tenya is julien

He'd have weird ass videos like dipping bandits feet in red pet dye then putting a sign on him that says "you pet and you'll meet the last person who dared to"(edited)

And he's also make videos about him breaking into UA and interrupting classes and stuff

"hey gamers, today we're breaking into UA to see my boyfriend and read all of my friend's secret files"

And a video just of him filing Aizawa in weird places and at the end putting him on an inflatable mattress and watching him float away 

He wakes up in Canada

They don't know how or why

He just attaches a go-pro to trash bandit and let's him run wild. He probably has a seriesJust letting him loose in weird places

DONT LET TRASH BANDIT EAT AIZAWA'S SLEEPING BAG AT 3AM | VERY SCARY"hey guys so today ill be doing the 'How many bottles of quil can i steal before i get caught by Tsukabitch' challange. feel free to make a video of your own!" 

He probably dyes Bandit according to holidays and puts him as the profile picture. The kicker is, he only does it for holidays that his country doesn't celebrate

Like 4th of july

And Canada day

"Hewo soulless fuckers it is me your overlord, King of the soulless fuckers. Today I'll be going up to people in the streets and telling them that I killed God and Satan. But y'all know me, that's not enough. So I'll be asking them which one I killed first and if they get it wrong I take a shot of quil. The quil I'll be taking is the plain ol kind so don't worry your little marshmallow heads about it." 

He only makes text posts in OwO speak this just makes me realise demise!izuku would make a great youtuber

He would twitch stream all the time doing the weirdest shit for hours on end

"what is up gamews! today i wiww be weviewing the new game cawwed life! i have been pwaying it fow about 16 yeaws now and i have to say it's pwetty bad my guys!"

I feel like he'd be absurdly popular and whenever someone mentions him and they look up the channel they are like "wth have I stumbled upon?!"

I'm just imagining what his front page would look like

The seasonal trash bandit profile picture, the banner would be a flaming hellscape with people he dislikes burning and trash bandit looming on low opacity in the background 

(He made it so that only people who view it on TV get the full experience.)

He probably has his own segment on buzzfeed unsolved

Not talking

Its about him

The intro video would just be him staring into the camera while mixing together a horrible concoction of quil then downing it without breaking eye contact(edited)

His about section is written in 3 different types of code and it's all in owo if you manage to crack it

i love demise|!izuku as a youtube cryptid

Clown Speak and OwO speak mixed together

I feel like in the beginning Izuku was this obscure YouTuber that you only find out about if someone in the know tells you about it until a bigger YouTuber found him out on a deep dive video and just couldn't stop watching yes

i imagine once he gets big people from react channel would invite him to react to videos of people reacting to his videos 

What if in one of his videos he started acting like his old self just to freak everyone out. He didn't say anything about it instead he talked about hero analysis with a bright smile and trail off into muttering a few times only to blush when he realized it. He have his hair in a ponytail with only bangs framing his face and some messy pieces falling out. Also her be wearing something plain but like old Izuku, maybe hero merch or something. The comment section was just people flipping out and shit

He never acknowledges the video after he made it

No matter how many comments he gets he acts like it doesn't exist

omg you know wha tthat would actually allign with the demise and canon swap places for a da

yand you know what that gives me a lot of feels

the millions of subscribers get to see the old izuku

Maybe after a milestone he would post a video he made in middle school of him analyzing a quirk in video format to make sure it wouldn't get destroyed

And he put a couple videos of younger him after it

But it starts being supporting Izuku

And his present and past self and stuff

PEOPLE MAKE FAN ART first Its all full of trash and memes

What if that picture of canon Izuku meeting demise Izuku was a fan art someone made of his old self meeting the new him 

Kids from his class kinda Piecing together they really screwed up?Some even sending in apologies, perhaps

For mental health day I could see him posting a serious video about what he went through and his time in the mental hospital 

And on national stop bullying day he would talk about his decade of abuse including the details of how the school and teachers fucked up and everything aboutbakugou

izuku using youtrube for shitposting and advocating

And for mothers day he features both Rei and Inko?

Endeavor exposure video

What if Rei helped edit or something?To help pass the time for her

Give her something to do

People love the mysterious editor

I feel like villains watch his content like maybe Dabi

rei and fuyumi sometimes make appearances

Dabi just shows up in the videos

Quickly become faves

I feel like Dabi would become a fan and start crying after seeing his mom happy in one of Izuku's videos

"...and this is rei, my hospital mom and this if fuyumi, her daughter so like my sister she helps me keep my shit together and sometimes gives me quil.." 

dabi crying from seeing his mom happy in some lunatic's youtube videos

“...and this is shin, dont let the looks deceive you this man went to jail"

Shin comes in and covers the cameras a lot

FATHERS DAY IS A PICTURE OF TRASH BANDIT WITH HIS DADS VOICE SCRAMBLED OVER IT

“and this is the local florida woman and her alligator

WHAT IF BNHA VERSE HAD QUIRKLESS AWARENESS WEEKizuku would go ape shit during that week

"who needs a quirk when my dad gave me a gun!"

He would give axe sharpening tips

"Remember kids! Society won't help you, so you gotta help yourself!"

he would make 'how to cook videos' except it would only be quil combos

What if one day he just put quil in the ovenand pulled out a muffin

Remeber, don't try this at home kids." makes A horrifying quil combo "rememer never ever do this even if you have a quirk that allows it." downs the horror concoction

"so today were gonna do my boyriend does my makeup challange and since both me and tenya are dumb and know nothing i borrowed my mums makeup..." 

It’s a given he’s gonna do makeup tutorials. The real question is would they be good or absolutely horrendous?

good or horrendous? Both

Amazing makeup at horrendous things? Hmmm interesting

“Hey guys today I’m turning myself into a real like eldrich abomination with the help of eyeliner and glitter!”

izuku has a whole playlist of videos dedicated to tenya and UA

theyre all jsut shitposty compilations of some footage when tenya isnt looking

Even tho it looks like he couldn't give a fuck he is very selective with which footage makes it online. He's very careful at how much is revealed and makes sure no students or secret identities would be in danger with his content

izuku isnt stupid...hes jsut having a good time

Sneaking into UA highschool by hiding in pro hero eraserhead's sleeping bag | NOT CLICKBAIT

Izuku would totally play carefree and childish games while just being Izuku

Like his animal crossing series

Fucking legendary on his channel in terms of gaming

izuku's sims lets play

it's like a 10 generation long telenovela lowkey based off the todoroki family

He has no straight sims, he recreated UA and class 1a in sims

the wedding of sim izuku and sim tenya is like the biggest party in the sim neighbourhood

He creates endeavor just to lock him in a room with 50 ovens

Omg his draw my life has got to be super depressing

He'd be super blunt and monotone during his whole draw my life going through all of the abuse and bullying that he went through because of his quirklessness and also his suicide attempt and all that jazz(edited) 

izuku would paint on a potato

Izuku would make a get ready with me where he does something totally batshit crazy then ends it with "Ah. Yet another day in my life."

Izuku meets Marie Kondo

“Only keep what brings you joy”

“Well this gun from my father sure brings me joy”

Knifemaking videos but with axes

Izuku decided to do a wardrobe tour and like 4 things were bloodstained which he never addressed. The most popular comment was what happened, which of course he never answered.

Izuku does these new year (like all of the questions from last year) or milestone Q+A’s/AMA's which are basically people just asking a bunch of the things he wouldn't answer or address before. A lot of his viewers write down and timestamp when he does something and doesn't address it. If you don't you'll never hear an answer.

He has his boonk gang phrase which is probably like Bandit gang or some shit like that, which he shouts while breaking into places. UA dorm rooms, UA facility office, UA, Hero Agency’s, Endeavour's bedroom (Don't ask), etc. 

He has a variety of videos where he does things from different communities. For example he has a few hair tutorial and following hair tutorial videos. Same for makeup.I feel like Izuku would also have some dresses and slutty Halloween costumes that be put on in a video all while looking like someone who just had finals and was studying for 4 days straight beforehand.

At like 4AM a thought hit Izuku to have Trash Bandit meet Kouta for the first time and learn what his sheep talks about and what he has to say. Needless to say he took his camera, went to UA, stormed the dorms, went up to the shy kid sheep in hand, looked him dead in the eye, and asked “What is my sheep saying.” bandit speaks and Kouta goes from confused and slightly scared to disgusted and horrified. What did Bandit say? Who the fuck knows…

Izuku loves analysis and while he doesn't do it for heroes anymore when he misses it too much sometimes he does it with tv shows or other things.

Idk what yet but Izuku is weirdly good at something and only showed it on camera once. (He's casually known to be a good artist) Whatever he's good at he did it once for a video and it's in one of the most popular compilation videos of him. 15 minutes of Izuku being a cinnamon roll.

Izuku has a shit ton of videos featuring the UA kids. He has some playlists dedicated to certain ones even if all you see is the back of their head.

Any proceeds Izuku manages to get (he is popular but he gets demonetized a lot) goes to different charities for the quirkless.

He made only 1 serious cooking video on his birthday, but instead of using a knife he used an axe.

He has a video called “My sharp things (tour)” where he just shows off all of his knives and axes and shit along with a massive pair of scissors he got Momo to make.

Izuku makes videos of himself destroying endeavor merch while staring at the camera.

[lovebanqtan]

Kim Seokjin As A BoyFriend

a/n= a little bit of angst, discussion of sex, and BDSM. also, I hate writing in 3rd person please forgive me if this is bad.

- You rely on each other very much.

- You never really know how much he relies on you until either, until its one of those days where Hobi be giving out that hard ass choreography, and as your standing in the corner of the dance studio, watching your loving boyfriend giving it his all and still not getting it

-You feel heartbroken.

-Hobi is being relentless on him, and finally, you snap. Even seeing poor little Jungkook breathless. 

-”Break Hobi. You got everyone worn out. Not everyone has as much stamina.” You sigh, walking up to a sulking Jin. 

-”I just don’t see what I’m doing wrong, I’m doing exactly what he’s doing and I’m getting different results.” He sighs. Pressing his sweaty body into your shoulder. 

“You are doing just fine from what I saw. Just give it 10% more and I bet you’d be perfect.” You quote him from when you were stressing over exams. Causing him to choke on his water. 

-And that's exactly what he does. Gives it 10% more and before you know it, Hoseok is jumping up and down giddy at how good practice went. Jin with his arm slung around your shoulder walking out of the studio with the rest of the boys. Each going their separate ways. 

-Besides relying on each other, he is very comforting. Even when you were still best friends. Like the time when your dog, Sammy ran away and you saw it got hit by a car, after halfway eating your weight in ice cream, you decided to call Jin. 

-He didn’t even say anything, he showed up half an hour later at the door with your favorites and a movie in hand. He understood you so well and just let you cry it out while he just talked about his day.

-You might be thinking.”Talked about his day?” Isn't that selfish?

-No. It helped because it distracted.

-”Ahh. Today, I cooked this delicious ramen, and I sat it on the table right to get a drink. And when I came back it was gone? So like what the hell? Who stole my ramen right?” 

-He made you laugh eventually.

-And when he has bad days good lord be prepared. You will have to make him talk to you. 

-”Babe, please tell me what's wrong..” I plead.

-”I swear its nothing.” he keeps scrolling through his phone, reflection of words in his eyes. 

-Okay if its nothing then why you look like you going to cry.

-”Fine then. You won’t talk to me, I won’t talk to you either.” I stand up and head toward the bedroom. 

-Packing your stuff for the night, you packed them in a drawstring bag and dragged it to the guest room. 

-”You can have the bedroom. I’ll be sleeping in the guest room till you tell me what's wrong.” I smile evilly.

- He sighs and pats the cushion next to him. Telling you everything in his day, and apparently, none of you had a good day. Which led you both to feeling bad for each other, so he cuddled you until his arms were numb.

-Also did someone says romantic?

-Kim Seokjin is the definition of romantic in your book.

-You hurt or sick? He carries you to where you need to go and makes your favorite food from your childhood.

“KIM SEOKJIN I SWEAR TO GOD PUT ME DOWN!” You screamed, waking up the whole dorm.

-You're depressed? He will cuddle you and watch Disney movies. And will totally help you eat that gallon of ice cream so you don’t feel the guilt in the hour. He’ll play with your hair, and if you go out and see anything, literally anything you want to the extremities of a tiger. He will buy it just to make you feel better. 

-You're insecure? He will make it his last dying wish to make it what you're most confident about.

-”Baby your so beautiful, I don’t know what you're talking about.” He whispered kissing your head.

-”You don’t see it? You're crazy then because all your fans do, and the people on the street do, and I don’t know why you like me.” You sobbed into his chest before turning and lying on your back. Basically choking on your cries.

-“The only one crazy here is you for listening to them, who you calling crazy. They are just jealous of you. You really think someone like me would date someone ugly.” He laughed but hearing your silence worried him. “Baby. You're beautiful, please listen.” He turned you so you would face him, and the tears streaming down your face made him want to cry too.

Wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing you against his chest. “Please believe me when I tell you you're beautiful.”

- He loves you for you and would never want you to change.

-He would probably ask to go shopping with you a lot, or just go buy himself and buy you stuff. Like, let's say your favorite artist just came out with a fragrance line. Boom! You get new jewelry every week, and honestly, you don’t know why because you only wear it to his award shows.

-The public knows about you because of you. You walked in on him filming an EatJin! which was normal behavior. Except instead of saying “hey bestie!” you said “babe can I have a bite-” and Jin was the definition of the dead inside as his views passed 30 million and all the comments were talking about you.

-But we haven’t answered the question yet...

-How is the boy in bed? 

-half of you guys just choked I know

- but for real big dick line rise up

- Jin is a major switch. So that works out most of the time.

-He can go from a major pain in the ass dom to an obedient sub.

-But when he’s a dom, he’s not that kinky on any given day, but on the 1/7 day, god bless your soul.

-Like he has a chest under your bed, just for when he’s like this. In this chest is, a bunch of silk ties (got to be gentle with your skin because now the world sees you too), blindfolds, (more specifically for him, you had brought it up and he nearly choked. but once you tried it using one of his ties, he came so quick, without you even touching him properly) a vibrator, (mostly used for your punishments?? but was given as a rewards once or twice you remember). There's more in there, you know that but you haven’t used it yet.

-On the days he’s not a BDSM master, he’s a giver in the bedroom. What I mean by this is

-Before you go to bed you have to have cum at least twice, with his fingers or his tongue and you're mad about that because he won’t let you touch him until morning. But it doesn’t mean you’ll tell him to stop. 

-If he’s hella tired after a long day at the dance studio, or recording. Or he just got back from tour. He’ll use the vibrator but make you cum five times, and you just lay there moaning with a fucked out look on your face, twitching from overstim. But even if he’s tired he’ll still take away, 

-you don’t even bring it up to him. Just laying in bed, invested in your poetry book Namjoon recommended to you. Suddenly a warm hand snakes up your thigh, and warm lips pressed to your neck. 

-How does this boy feel about PDA? 

-Now that it's like known to the world that he’s yours, and you are his. He doesn’t mind. He’ll want you to flex his hickeys to be all over Soompi. And he’ll flex his back scratches, wearing a see-through button up in his next interview. 

-Purposely turning around to ask Jungkook a question, and when the Interviewer asks what they are with a shocked as fuck look on her face. He’d blush and look at you flexing your hickeys behind the camera. And suddenly he’d gain the confidence and say. “My girl gave them to me.” And he’d smile confidently, as the interviewer looked horrified.

- He’s not afraid to kiss you in public, in fact, he asked you out in an amusement park as you were clinging to death on his arm on the Ferris wheel, and his asshole self kept rocking the bench. You cussed him out then and there.

-Smiling at your cuteness, he pulled down his mask and kissed your cold nose, in the winter air. “You're so cute, I honestly think your the only one compatible to date me.” He laughed before pulling up his mask. You were shocked and confused. You questioned your hearing. 

-It shocked you so much that you lost your grip on his arm and he continued to shake the bench causing you to call him an asshole and proceeded to grip onto his arm, until the end of the ride that he made you get on.

- After getting on the ride, you both stop at a place. That has a giant red neon sign.

“C-Co. Coco-Cola. See I’m getting nearly as good as Namjoon!” He laughs his classic windshield wiper laugh.

- Sitting down inside the warm cafe, you look him in the eye. Trying to decipher him. Was he joking? Was he lying?

-”Jin?” You ask cautiously, taking a sip of your iced coffee.

- “Yes?” Turning to you, he smiles. He has one straw in his mouth, sipping a cherry cola. 

-Before you answer, you think back. Jin is not the player type. In fact, since you in 5th grade, he’s dated, 4 girls. They either broke up with him because he refused to have sex in 7th grade with a girl who most likely had an std at that point. (good choice jin) Or he broke up with them because he lost feelings.

-You can’t really blame him. But what if he was just joking and you end up embarrassing yourself?

-”You gonna ask or keep staring at me?” he laughs again. The food has come now, my favorite American food. 

-”My bad. It's just, I can’t tell if you were being serious or not earlier, and I didn’t want to get my feelings hurt.” You turn away your face red with embarrassment.

-Suddenly he bursts out laughing in that classical windshield wiper laugh.

-“Oh my god, you're so oblivious!” He cries out between laughs, the restaurant looking at him, as he just yelled out Korean. 

-“What?” I ask.

-“When I lost feelings for Aemin, I caught feelings for you, and I thought I had been hinting all this time, especially on the Ferris wheel, but you are so dense!” He laughs hitting his knees.

-I start to laugh too. Realizing my best friend since 5th grade just confessed he liked me, and I have liked him since I can’t remember. And since you told him you liked him too. You started to be inseparable. But especially when he asked you to date him, and you started to cry happy tears. 

-You haven’t been separated since.

[braincoins]

Allura skirted around the whole “I’m an alien princess” thing. She put it as having a power she hadn’t known about, which was true. She did also demonstrate her shifting ability for them, returning to her true form. It was... weird, to do it around people who weren’t Takashi or Coran. She was still a little wary - they work at Galra! - but she trusted Shiro. 

More than that, they had to do something. She’d been worrying for all this time about protecting her love, about keeping him safe. She’d thought that just keeping him from crime-fighting would be enough. She’d thought that, so long as he was with her, he was safe. 

She looked at the arm, sitting on the coffee table in the living room. I was wrong. If he could be hurt that badly here, where he should have been at his safest, then the only way to protect him was to deal with Zarkon and Dr. King directly. I won’t let you hurt him again. I won’t.

But for now, their new allies were being brought up to speed. Ulaz looked especially interested in quintessence, perhaps a touch unnervingly so. Krolia seemed sympathetic and Keith just looked like he wanted to punch Zarkon straight in the face. Yeah, I think I’m going to like you, she thought as she looked at the young man. 

She and Shiro were taking turns explaining, but she had to cover most of what went on in the Galra office break-in, obviously. She tried to keep herself calm, tried to push the panic down and keep it out of her voice. Takashi took her hand in his own and gave it a squeeze; it was the only thing that kept her going. 

Keith and Krolia were able to chime in when it came to the rescue, and after that, everyone was caught up, except for...

“Just now, with the... spasms or pain attacks or whatever you want to call them,” Shiro said, “I started to get this feeling... like it was me but it wasn’t me and it was a woman, a pregnant woman, and they were torturing her. She said - I felt - that she didn’t sign up for this, that they didn’t care about the child.”

And then Krolia let out a stream of words bluer than the ocean and ended them with, “...the clinic.”

“You aren’t serious,” Keith said.

“It would make sense,” Ulaz said. Before Allura could ask, he explained, “Galra runs a low-income clinic for poor people. Basic services mostly - checkups, non-opioid prescriptions, basic sex education, birth control and free condoms.”

“I work there twice a week,” Krolia put in. “There’s flyers all over the place about studies they can take part in to earn some extra money. That’s part of why we run it: we pay for plasma donations, sperm and egg donations, and recruit people for studies.”

“But why a pregnant woman?!” Keith yelped. 

Ulaz looked to Allura. “You said you can apparently manipulate quintessence? What else can you do with it?”

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I’m still figuring this out.”

“Can you feel if quintessence is Shiro’s or not?”

She thought about that. “Probably. You want me to test the arm?”

He nodded and she picked it up again. It had twitched and spasmed on its own a few times since being removed, but it had been still for awhile. She closed her eyes and felt for... There. It felt like tea that had been left out to cool, like it wasn’t quite right anymore, but it was there, undeniably. “This isn’t Shiro’s,” she confirmed. She opened her eyes.

“It’s only a guess,” Ulaz mused aloud, “but they probably used this woman’s quintessence to power the arm. They took in volunteers for a study and found a way to take and trap some of her quintessence. If quintessence is ‘attenuated,’ then...”

“They caused her pain specifically to cause Shiro pain,” Allura finished, feeling pale.

“They called her back in for it,” Krolia agreed, sounding hollow. “She probably wasn’t pregnant when they took it initially - that phase of the study would have been last year - but now she is, and they just said they wanted to check on the fetus, they used it as a pretext just to get her in there.”

“You think they’ve figured out he’s Paladin?” Keith asked.

“Don’t know,” Shiro said. “But what point would there be to just making me hurt like hell?”

“If the body endures too much pain, sometimes it will just shut down,” Krolia said. “Like flipping an off switch.”

“Possibly,” Ulaz said. He was still in his contemplative mode. “But try not to think like an evil genius or a superhero.” He looked to Keith. “You have a device. The device malfunctions suddenly - badly. It is under warranty. What would you do with it?”

“Take it in to get it fixed,” Keith said instantly.

Krolia got to the point. “They wanted to lure him in. He’d either go to the ER - where they could find him easily - or come in tomorrow to have us look at it.”

Ulaz nodded. “One way or the other, they could pick him up. But I don’t think they know he’s Paladin.”

“Why not?” Allura asked. “Why else would they want him?”

“If they know anything about Paladin, it’s that he can teleport,” Ulaz pointed out. “He can just get away again.”

“Unless they have Sendak knock me back out,” Shiro replied. 

“They’d have to get Sendak to you,” Ulaz countered. “You’d see him coming and you’d be gone.”

“That doesn’t answer the other question,” Keith said. “Why bring Shiro in?”

“The Incident,” Allura replied as it came to her. “The same incident where Dr. King and her assistants lost their bodies. Shiro lost his arm in it.”

“They think there’s something they can get from him?” Krolia asked.

“That sounds more likely. But we shouldn’t discount the Paladin idea entirely,” Ulaz said. “I don’t think they know, but then I also thought Dr. King was dead.” He shrugged. “We do not know what they’re capable of. It’s good to have more theories on the table.”

“Okay but what do we do?” Keith pressed. 

Oh yes, I like you a lot, Allura decided. “We need more information.”

“I can volunteer hours at the clinic,” Krolia said. “To kind of keep an eye on things down there. Doctor, you should talk to Thace. Some way that doesn’t look suspicious. He can cover our tracks as well as dig up some dirt.”

“Do you know when he takes lunch?” Ulaz asked. “I can pretend I am finally caving to your romantic pressures.”

She snorted. “’Pretend’, my ass,” she muttered, but she nodded. “Usually at 11. Send him an email no later than 10:30 though; he normally eats at his desk, but if you ask him to join you in the cafeteria, I’m sure he’ll show up.”

“Excellent.”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Allura asked.

Shiro grinned. “Krolia’s been trying to set our good doctor up with this guy in IT for a while now.”

“For forever. They’ve got the hots for each other so bad, it’s ridiculous,” Krolia said. “And Thace is a good guy. I’ve already said I was willing to bring him in on this.”

“Anyone you bring in on this is in danger,” he reminded her.

“Yes, yes,” she said, waving his concerns away, “you went through all of this when you were still trying to pretend you were nothing but a reporter. He’ll want to help.”

“You can’t come in for checkups ever again,” Ulaz said, “obviously. And you’ll have to go back to your old prosthetic.”

“Good thing I kept it... handy.” Shiro grinned while everyone else groaned.

“I’d like to have Coran look at the arm, if you don’t mind?” Allura asked.

“Don’t see why not,” Shiro answered. She watched his face light up. “Do you think you could find the match? Like... using the quintessence in the arm, could you locate the woman it belongs to?”

“Maybe? It’s worth trying,” she agreed. “But I’m worried about her. We need to make sure she’s safe. You don’t think they’re going to just torture her and let her go, do you?”

“She won’t go to the police,” Krolia replied, sounding confident of that. “They’ll pay her well to keep her mouth shut. If she’s going to the low-income clinic, she probably needs the money badly. She’ll go through hell if it means she has money to feed herself and her baby. Trust me.”

“We have to find her then,” Shiro said. “And get her somewhere safe, somewhere they can’t find her and hurt her again.”

“Where they can’t use her against you, either,” Allura agreed. “I’ll do what I can. Coran can help me. We’ll find her.”

“Okay, so we need a way to keep in touch with each other that’s not really obvious,” Keith said. “I hang out with Shiro a lot already, so there’s that.”

“Code words! And codenames!” Krolia declared excitedly. 

“No, Mom,” Keith groaned.

“I can text the doc?” Shiro added. 

“Allura, do you ever buy Mary Kay?” Krolia asked, sweet as honey.

“No, why?”

She grinned. “I found a way to keep in touch with Allura then! And I suppose we can keep Thace in the loop through Ulaz?”

“I suppose,” she allowed.

“I don’t know any other way to do it,” Ulaz said with a shrug. “I don’t really know him that well.”

“Well, he’s hot, but you knew that,” Krolia said. Allura watched Ulaz blush. “He rides his bike to and from work, he’s a computer nerd, always playing that one game...”

“Which one game?” Shiro asked, sounding interested.

“Uh oh,” Keith said. “Mom, did you not know Shiro’s a huge nerd, too?”

“Oh, I don’t remember what it’s called,” Krolia said. “He’s got one of those super nerdy names in it, too. Noxious Killdemon or something.”

“Wait, wait... do you mean Nix Killdevil?” Shiro asked in hushed tones.

Krolia brightened. “Yeah, that’s it! How’d you know?”

“Ohhhh, I know him,” he said. “I know him real well.”

“Nerds,” Keith said, rolling his eyes. “Can you talk to him in the game?”

“If he knows to expect me?” He glanced to Ulaz. “Tell your boyfriend...”

Ulaz protested immediately, “He’s not my boyfriend!” 

Shiro just kept talking. “...to send a Strife.net message to Jiro Sunblade. I’ll be looking for him.”

“Okay, so... anything else?” Allura asked. “Shiro and I will work on tracking down the woman; Krolia will keep an eye on the clinic patients; Ulaz and Thace will get us information.”

“I’ll do what I can to keep the police off your back,” Keith put in.

“What?” Shiro asked. “What’s going on?”

“There’s a lot of grumbling about Starlight and Paladin having just disappeared. You, uh... might need to do some community outreach, as it were. Just clean up the streets a little?”

“We’re on it,” Allura declared.

“We are?” Shiro asked, turning to smile at her.

She nodded and squeezed his hand. “We’ll go out tomorrow night.” She looked back to their allies. “Starlight and Paladin will return.”

{The Adventures of Starlight & Paladin}

[ddaenghoney]

SERIES: HALLOWEEN BETWEEN MIDNIGHTS

Chapter 30

On October 1st, you attend a Halloween party in an abandoned house rented by some friends. As scary as the idea of cult owners is, nothing could have prepared you and BTS(regular people) for the mayhem and terror that follows until October 31st.

This is an INTERACTIVE fic. At the end of each part, readers will be able to vote to decide what happens next. Analyze everything(except the time) carefully. Choices decide romance, friendship, and deaths; and yes, ANYONE can die.

In other words, please read at your own risk; anything goes in this story.

Start here | Previous part 

“Can you do me a favor?” Jeongguk’s eyes found yours as you asked in barely a whisper. His brows dipped in confusion, glancing to Taehyung at the counter ordering a coffee. When he found you again, your hands were pressed in front of your face. The timid smile was somewhat mischievous.

Within a matter of two hours Jeongguk looked at the begrudgingly familiar trees swaying around the house he had hoped to never cross in front of again. “Is it really necessary to see if the book is still there?”

You tested the doors, finding it stiff behind the caution tape. Shrugging your shoulders, you turned back to where Jeongguk stood at the base of the little stairway up onto the wooden porch. The leaves surrounding his ankles colored the scenery as beautiful as fall should be, despite being on a property devoid of pleasantness.

“I just want to make sure it’s done, Guk.” He shoved his hands deeper into the large coat pockets,

“Yoongi told you he wouldn’t go, huh?”

“I didn’t ask.” You frowned, pausing as your hands fell to your sides stiffly. “I didn’t want to make him come back here after what happened to Jimin-” “What about what happened to all of us?” His head cocked, trying to meet his gaze to yours as you avoided it in favor of the ground. He sighed when you didn’t reply, turning his shoulder. “Let’s try the cellar then.”

The police hadn’t done much away from the main structure of the property, leaving the cellar gate rather easy to shove open. You both avoided speech as you went through the halls, your eyes stayed fixated on following Jeongguk’s boots. You opened your mouth to speak, but closed it before you managed to. As Jeongguk dipped around the corner of the first hall, you paused, catching the door to the room you and Yoongi were locked into. The room where Jimin’s body disappeared from without a trace.

“Guk,” He turned back, already ahead by five or so steps. “Let’s,” Your hand reached for the brass handle as you spoke, ignoring the twitch in your fingertips, “Try here first-”

“No-” Jeongguk’s hand covered yours as you gripped to open the door, tugging the door against its frame to keep it shut. “Y/N, that room-”

“It’s where you got the book from-”

“We left it in the other own though.” He countered, wedging your grip away to confine it within his own, nervous palm. When you found his eyes, your lips cast down at the worry. “It won’t be there.” A moment of consideration passed before you spoke, resigned,

“The cops didn’t find the book either.”

Jeongguk would rather blame the police’s plain stupidity on everything than consider that this wasn’t over. He recalled Taehyung’s insomnia, and the hysteria when he would wake up and forget who Jeongguk was. When Taehyung rashly spoke to them with contempt uncharacteristic and avoided contact for the duration of October. Jeongguk thought of your irritability with your shoulder, and the rubbing motion you adapted against the skin even though you hadn’t complained about it for weeks now. He remembered the pure fear in your eyes like you were uncertain about who you were-- where you had been in unaccounted time periods.

Jeongguk thought about how his ridiculous idea for a party at an abandoned house was the source of the problems his best friends had to deal with-- at the loss of one who he had been close to for years. He thought about the evening a few days earlier where you all ended up passed out in his and Taehyung’s dorm room, having completed a grueling project. And it felt normal again.

Jeongguk stopped feeling worried about everything, until now. Until he was brought up in front of the room that held a book Jeongguk’s name was somehow scribbled into and Jimin lost his life over. His grip on your hand trembled as he led his other to add into the ball as well,

“Please,” Your lips tightened at the defeat in his tone. “Let’s just go home. Please. I don’t want to know if that book is still there.”

Your heart dropped at his expression, the hunch of his stature that appeared so fragile. Contrasting his usual, upbeat demeanor, Jeongguk clearly evoked all of the guilt he felt from the events that transpired. You knew he was worried, but if that book was still there then was it really over?

You glanced to the shut door, inevitably reaching your hand to Jeongguk’s forearm. His eyes popped back to yours. You did want to know if the book was still there, but his resentment of the idea felt compelling as well.

With your elbows stiffened, you perched your head a top your hands. Looking nowhere in particular as you sat on the table in the shade of many swaying trees. The sunset had already dipped behind the horizon of the dormitory you were beside. Your phone hadn’t vibrated since you last sent a text, making your cheeks puff in wonder of whether he got the message or not.

“You look like a squirrel.” You hadn’t needed worry at all as Yoongi strode off the cement path, kicking leaves aside in a light-hearted manner. You straightened as he put a hand on the table, “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to see you,” You stated simply, brushing hair from your face as the wind kicked. Yoongi nibbled the inside of his cheek at your statement, waiting quietly for whatever you had to say next. “What?”

“Huh?” His eyebrows perked, “Wait, was that really all?” A flush of rose bit against the back of his neck despite the season being well into fall. You resisted grinning, but couldn’t stop a smile.

“Is that not enough?”

“No-”  He shut his mouth quickly, rubbing the back of his neck as a pout began. “You just,” He sighed, shrugging to hide the embarrassment, “You texted me half an hour ago-- I didn’t think you’d still be waiting here if it wasn’t important.”

“So it’s not important-”

“Angel,” He rolled his eyes, grinning at your teasing especially as you couldn’t contain an amused giggle. “It’s getting cold, let’s go in.”

The emptiness of his dorm room still made it difficult to avoid frowning. Opting to lay face first into Yoongi’s bed instead of dwelling, you simply sighed into the pillow, hugging it against your chest as you curled over to face him. Yoongi sat into the school owned desk chair, his fingertips tapping slowly on the bare desk beside him,

“Comfy?” He smiled softly, watching you nod with a thrumming beat behind his chest. “I don’t mind you being here for no reason, honestly.” He dragged his tongue over his lips in thought, contemplating whether it was worth bringing up. “But really if anything’s bothering you, you don’t have to keep it from me.”

“Yeah, I know.” You said softly, sitting up with his pillow still clutched in your lap. Your eyes strayed around, “Guk and I went to the house.”

“Why?” Yoongi’s eyes narrowed, the rhythm of his fingers stopping.

“I just wanted to see something, but we left basically as soon as we got there.” You looked up at him, “I know it’s over, Yoongi, but I felt like I needed to go and make sure, okay?”

Yoongi quieted, rationalizing your reaction in his thoughts. Certainly, he didn’t want to go back and would’ve disagreed if you had asked him originally, but not everyone copes the same way. And if anything you went with Jeongguk, not by yourself. Yoongi may not like it, but it wasn’t up to him, reasonably.

“Okay,” He started carefully, uncertain of where to go. “Then does it feel over?”

“Yeah,” You shrugged, “I don’t have as much trouble falling asleep at least.” Yoongi nodded his head softly, sock clad feet wheeling his chair towards the side of the bed. “I know it’s over, but I guess I feel anxious about it all still.” You rested the pillow against your lap, letting your arms lay over the top, “I still feel weird about lying to the police, but they wouldn’t have believed the real story.”

“I wouldn’t if I hadn’t been there.” He attested, reaching for your fiddling hands so as to try and relax them within his own. You let him, hitching a breath in the back of your throat. “But we’re all here for each other at least.”

You frowned, turning your hands in his to entwine the fingers. “Until you leave, yeah.” You sighed, feeling his grip tense around yours and the frown you expected to see when you looked back up. “I’m not mad about it anymore-- like I told you, but I’ll still miss you.”

Yoongi released your hands. The chair bumped against the desk as he stood from it and sat beside you. “It’s just an hour away at least-”

“Yoongi,” You smiled gently and shook your head, “I’m still gonna miss not being able to just walk across campus to find you, but I guess that it wasn’t always going to be like that anyways.”

“If you called me needing me, I’d come though.”

“Who says I’ll need you?” You bit back laughter as his arms trailed around your waist to drag you against him,

“You can’t just let the moment be cute, can you?” You smiled against his hoodie. His fingers created soft streams along your back, as his chin settled atop your head, “Then pretend to need me so I can have an excuse to come visit. Jeongguk wanting me to help tutor him in math isn’t enough.”

“He’ll be so sad.” You said with a dramatic pout, arching your head to look up at him. He shrugged dismissively, but you were sure he’d miss all of you as well. “You don’t need an excuse, and I don’t want to need one either if I want to visit.”

“I guess that’s fair.” He nodded, arms further constraining around your body, revelling in being able to hold you for the next two weeks. You bit your lip, pulling away only enough to look down at him. Yoongi’s eyes quirked expectant of you to speak.

“You remember what I said to you weeks ago? When we had that argument about you leaving.”  He sighed, stretching his neck as he nodded,

“I’m the worst for not telling you-”

“Not that, dork.” You bit your lip, “But kind of now that you mention it-”

“Then what?” He poked your side, gumbs peeking as you squirmed from the tickle.

“About you making me fall for you when you were just going to leave.” His smile vanished, leaving a frown behind and slightly hurt eyes. “Wait,” You trailed a thumb along his jaw, ending the path to press gently against his cheek. “I wanted to apologize for saying it like that.”

“You don’t need to,” Yoongi’s eyes diverted, “I should’ve told you a lot sooner.”

“But either way I shouldn’t have made you feel like crap.” You admitted smiling as you shrugged, “And saying I fell for you sounds cliche in retrospect.” You felt his hands stall along your sides, his eyes narrowing,

“Definitely cliche.” He nodded, biting back a smile as you pat your hand against his chest. “But I love you so I don’t care.” Your eyes widened, a smile growing wider at the bluntness, nearly laughing as he tried to feign being calm. A blush was already stinging his cheeks.

“You love me?” His hands squeezed your hips from your teasing, “I didn’t know-”

“Angel.” He sighed, head falling back against the mattress, “Just say it back so I can kiss you.”

“I’m sort of over people making me say things, you know.” He slid his hands up higher, tugging against you against his chest. “Seances and such.”  He rose an eyebrow, head shaking gently at the joke,

“Lame-”

“I love you.” You said smiling as his lips pursed back together. “You’re blushing-” But he ignored the teasing in favor of pressing his lips against yours. Hands pulled you tightly against him. Yoongi allowing the contact to linger as you broke for a breath, resting his forehead against yours. You just smiled, gently running your fingers through his hair, finally at a loss for words. He smirked softly, pecking once more as he muttered sarcastically,

“Did I put you in a trance?”

“Stop.”

[kerfufflewatch]

PMW 1: Sharing a Bed

We’re doing the Peapod McHanzo Week up in here and we’re gonna start with one of the best fucking tropes in existence. 

I’m TENTATIVELY gonna try to make these a series . . . we’ll see how that goes. Tomorrow’s AU is already going to be the most tentative idea of an AU the world’s ever seen.

Anyway. 

Day 2 >>

---

9:37 PM

“It does not bother me,” Hanzo says. He, like McCree, is staring down the single, tiny, somewhat beaten-up bed in the corner of their awful motel room. The sheets look clean and mostly soft, at the least, but McCree’s spent enough nights in motels like this to know when a bed is passable and when it’s just covered up by some nice linens. This is the latter.

McCree shrugs his shoulders. “Me neither,” he says, lying boldly. Don’t get him wrong, this would hardly be the first time he’s shared a bed with someone he worked with--hell, he had to with Genji on more than one occasion, back in their Blackwatch days. You had to fit in tight spaces with people you worked with sometimes, and this was no exception.

The problem was that McCree hadn’t spent four months quietly and desperately pining after any of his coworkers before, working himself up to the point where if he shared a bed with them and made any sort of physical contact, he might actually burst into flames from sheer repressed want. Hanzo was different in that McCree had done exactly that.

He doesn’t say any of that, because that would be insanity. And there is nothing else in this god-forsaken motel to sleep on that isn’t the floor, and the kind of pain that’ll leave him in just isn’t worth it, so he’ll just have to suck it up and be an adult about the whole thing.

McCree kicks off his boots, sheds his gear, drops his serape atop the pile, and flops onto the side of the bed closest to the wall. Hanzo is more organized, carefully folding his coat and placing it atop his bag, his boots set beside them precisely, before tucking himself into the other side of the bed. It’s not a small bed, but it’s certainly no queen either, and the curve of Hanzo’s back brushes against McCree’s as he settles.

There’s a faint blue glow from somewhere behind McCree. Hanzo likes to browse the internet on his phone before he sleeps. McCree stares at the wall.

--

10:05 PM

McCree hears a soft swear behind him. The blue glow abruptly shuts off, and there is a faint clatter as Hanzo sets his phone on the bedside table.

“Told you it ain’t good for you to do that,” McCree says mildly.

“Shut up.”

Well, it’s not like it’s any healthier to stay awake because all you can think about is the warmth of your friend’s body beside yours.

10:56 PM

Hanzo fell asleep some forty-five minutes ago. He sleeps lightly, but is as silent as the dead; McCree had been briefly concerned that Hanzo had simply stopped breathing until he glanced over his shoulder to confirm that yes, Hanzo was in fact still alive.

McCree glares at the wall, though it is not the wall’s fault he cannot sleep. He’s always had a talent for sleeping anywhere, as long as he felt safe enough--and who wouldn’t feel safe next to a highly trained ex-assassin?--and there are currently no nightmares or anything else to keep him awake, so he does not understand why tonight is so difficult. Even the novelty of Hanzo next to him has worn off some.

Nightmares. Shit. If he has one while he’s lying in bed next to Hanzo, he’ll never live it down.

10:57 PM

Oh god what if he has a dream about Hanzo.

10:59 PM

McCree doesn’t completely manage to convince himself that he won’t dream about something mortifying--one way or the other--but his body is exhausted, and his eyes burn, and if he doesn’t get some sleep soon he might actually kill someone. He’ll just have to hope his brain doesn’t betray him any more tonight than it usually does, and deal with the consequences in the morning.

His shoulder aches fiercely from holding his weight for the last hour and some. He’s resisted turning over to his other side because that would mean facing Hanzo, but he’s at his wit’s end.

McCree very carefully shifts to his other side, stifling a groan of relief as it takes the weight off his aching shoulder, and resettles. Hanzo does not wake, but he does make a tiny noise and attempt to burrow deeper into his pillow.

McCree means to close his eyes and try to sleep again, but he finds his gaze riveted to Hanzo instead. A sliver of light from a lamp outside creeps through the curtains, just enough to illuminate Hanzo’s face in pale white and soften his usually sharp features. His hair is a mess, a spray of dark locks on the pillow with several strands falling sloppily in his face. He has the blanket pulled up so tight over his shoulders that McCree can’t even see anything below the tip of his nose.

McCree’s fingers twitch with the urge to smooth Hanzo’s hair from his face.

He grips a fistful of blanket and closes his eyes instead.

12:38 AM

McCree must doze off at some point, because time passes too quickly for him to have been awake for the last hour and some minutes, but it scarcely feels like sleep. Something warm is pressing into his chest. He doesn’t think much of it at first, hoping that he can catch the tail end of his sleep before it escapes him entirely.

Then he realizes, and he opens his eyes.

Hanzo shifted closer at some point, and now he is snugly fit into the curve of McCree’s body, his forehead resting gently against McCree’s chest. He’s not actively cuddling McCree or anything. Must have rolled over in his sleep, instinctively seeking out warmth while unaware of its source. McCree could kiss the top of his head, if he wanted to. He can definitely catch the faint scent of Hanzo’s apple shampoo, faded from the day but nonetheless noticeable just because of how close they are.

McCree should move.

But he might wake up Hanzo if he tries to move now.

He awkwardly tucks his arm between their bodies--not embracing Hanzo, tempting as that may be--and goes back to sleep.

2:22 AM

McCree wakes up again, though it is a bleary, half-asleep sort of wakefulness. Hanzo is completely pressed into him now, down to having his head tucked under McCree’s chin, and McCree’s somehow gotten his hand on Hanzo’s ribs. They’re both at fault by this point.

He really will wake Hanzo up if he moves this time.

He ignores the ache in his chest as he drifts off again.

3:07 AM

Holy shit, he has never had to pee so badly in his entire life.

McCree finally has to get up this time, his bladder’s demands finally overriding the comfort of the bed and the joy of having Hanzo almost-but-not-really in his arms. Hanzo groans in quiet protest and his eyes flutter open as McCree extricates himself. McCree does not acknowledge him and scoots off the end of the bed.

When he returns from the bathroom, Hanzo is back on his side of the bed, close enough to the edge that he might fall off if he actually sleeps that way. McCree awkwardly climbs back into his side of the bed, hugs close to the wall, and pretends he doesn’t notice the expanse of empty mattress behind him.

5:41 AM

Hanzo’s basically spooning him now. His chest is pressed against McCree’s back, and his breath ruffles the hair at the nape of McCree’s neck, and though his arm isn’t quite wrapped around McCree’s middle, it does rest rather comfortably along his flank.

McCree doesn’t have the energy to feel guilty this time, and falls back asleep pretending that he’s allowed to have this.

6:29 AM

When McCree wakes this time, there is sunlight streaming through the crack in the curtains, and the room is lit in a warm orange glow. He feels like shit.

McCree made his way onto his back at some point, and now Hanzo’s curled up at his side, not quite tucked under his arm but with a hand resting on McCree’s chest. McCree turns his head to look at Hanzo, who still slumbers on, apparently completely unburdened by the night. He probably only woke up once, compared to McCree’s half-dozen or so. Lucky bastard.

Hanzo’s hair is even more of a mess than before, less “artistic disarray” and more simple bedhead. His lips are parted slightly, and his breath comes slow and deep, and there is definitely a small dark mark on the pillow where he drooled a bit. That should be off-putting, but all McCree can think of is leaning in just a few inches, brushing Hanzo’s hair from his face, and stealing a sleepy kiss. His stomach aches with the desire.

He is more than aware that this is the closest he will ever be to what he really wants.

A loud, musical trill sounds from the table: Hanzo’s 6:30 AM alarm. McCree screws his eyes shut and pretends to still be asleep as Hanzo grumbles beside him.

He feels the bed dip and shift as Hanzo props himself up onto an elbow, then turns over to grab his phone and shut off the alarm. The phone is dropped back onto the table unceremoniously, but instead of getting out of bed like McCree expects, Hanzo pauses. He seems to hesitate for a long moment, though McCree cannot guess why. Hanzo is not the kind of person to lay in bed when there is something to be done, and their pick-up is in less than two hours.

McCree feels the delicate touch of fingertips to his shoulder. He starts to hold his breath, then reminds himself he’s supposed to be asleep and lets it out as slow as he can manage. The touch lingers for a second, then another.

Then Hanzo’s hand grips his shoulder and shakes, once. “McCree,” Hanzo says quietly. “Wake up. We need to leave.”

Heart sinking, though he did not think it could get lower, McCree affects an annoyed groan and opens one eye. Hanzo sits above him, propped up on one arm, and he laughs a little. “I know,” he says. “But we have places to be, and I imagine you will want to eat before we are back on the shuttle.”

“Yeah, yeah,” McCree mutters, pushing himself upright. Despite the sleep he did get, exhaustion still clings to his body like a heavy drape. If he manages to get through the shower without drowning, he’ll be surprised.

Hanzo laughs again and gets to his feet, taking his warmth with him. McCree watches blearily as Hanzo gathers his things and disappears into the en suite bathroom, blissfully unaware of the awful night he caused McCree.

McCree looks at the empty bed beside him. He considers trying to get another ten minutes of sleep while Hanzo is in the shower, but knows there’s no point. He’ll try to get a nap on the shuttle, he supposes. Hanzo probably won’t so much as sit next to him on the flight back.

He rubs the phantom ache under his sternum as he plants his feet on the floor.

On with the day, then.

[starryseo]

youtuber!jisung

time for the best sunshine boiii

han jisung

Chan | Woojin | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | JISUNG | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

he’s such an all-rounder at such a young age??

god blessed this boi straight up

he also does parkour with changbin & felix 

so sometimes he’s in their vids

but when they’re not filming themselves skateboarding

he’s the camera dude

doesn’t like using the skateboard as much as he likes trying the flips and shit normally

he’s deffo their one-man-hype squad and personal cheerleader

literally made a cheer for them

here are my boys, you can call them changlix

they’re gonna rock this place with their bombass flips

it’s really!!! cringey!!!!! but that’s why he uses it

gotta embarrass his homebois ok

lemme talk about his instagram before his youtube real quick

it’s  a e s t h e t i c  af

like he’ll use the best filters and get the best angles

but he doesn’t do it on purpose???

he literally snaps a pic and it comes out looking so fineee

once you actually click on a pic though

his captions are crazy

usually just gibberish

and he hashtags the most random parts of his day

they usually dont even make sense

but whatever

he’s also always on the hunt for flowercrowns 

his profile pic just alternates between the different ones he has

he’s 1/2 of the flower boy line what can i say

ok onto the yt stuff:

he has so !!! many !!!! prank videos

and they’re hilarious

they’re not like the cliche ones that lots of people post

he tries being creative,,,,

by creative i mean extreme

chan still gets flashbacks man,,,

he’ll actually plan these pranks out for weeks on end

like, he is that devoted to the pranks, it’s admirable but also insane

his first prank he thinks was quite basic compared to his current pranks, but it was this:

he created this video montage of him going to changbin’s house while he was away

and stealing one of his caps (like taking one every week or so)

he did this over 2 months the boy’s got a lot of caps and changbin kept asking all the guys if he had left his cap at their place bc ?? it’s gone ??

the poor boy was so confused rip

for safe-keeping,,, jisung didn’t tell any of the guys about his prank,,,, 

the only people that knew were woojin and changbin’s mums

bc they always let jisung into the houses

evil mums i know but their acting was A* whenever their kids asked them

he hid the caps at the bottom of woojin’s cupboard

knowing woojin would probably never look there/ get smth from there considering jisung could barely bend down to hide the caps there

at one point jisung thought changbin had figured out it was him

so then jisung was like “ay come over to my house to chill” to throw him off his track

like?? why would jisung invite him over if he has the caps??

to make it more believable jisung was like “bro imma go to the store real quick, you can carry on playing, no one else is home”

that would give changbin time to look around and find nothing if he was still suspicious

to test if changbin would actually check, he pulled a Light Yagami

just after he grabbed his wallet from his room

he stuck a lil’ bit of paper in between the door and the door jamb

and he shut the door

so if the door was opened, the paper would fall out

he went to the shops, bought some sweets and drinks for them,,,, y’know took his sweet  [pUNS] time outside to let changbin look around more

he came back, put the snacks on the table and went back in to his room to put his wallet away aaaaaand,,,

lo and behold,,,,,

the paper had fallen onto the floor

the room looked just as he had left it

but he kneeeeeeeew

he left changbin with one final cap lmao

and then he was like okkkk prank over

he took all the caps back and, when changbin wasn’t at home, put them all in really bad hiding places

and then he waited until the next day to upload the whole video onto his youtube channel

he almost got caught one time

but it wasn’t in changbin’s house it was at woojin’s

he had hidden the cap (thankfully) and just as he was leaving woojin came in

and he’s like ??? i didn’t know you were coming over

and he was like oshitwhatdoido

but he quickly lied like “oh i lost one of my earrings so i was looking around the guys’ houses”

woojin was like 🤔🤔 but you haven’t been to my house in a few weeks

and jisung was like oshitoshitHEKNOWS

“oh i know, but i can’t remember when i lost it so i was just making sure”

“ahhh ok” woojinn looked like he believed him so he just got the heck outta there asap

and just as a precaution he went to a few of the other guys’ houses too and pretended to look around

just in case woojin spoke to one of the other guys

he then coincidentally ‘found’ his earring at home lmao

as i said, he’s devoted to making the prank work as best as possible

anywayssss, changbin watched jisung’s prank video as soon as it came out because ??? jisung never said anything about a prank?? how did he, of all people, manage to stay quiet about a prank?

and then,,,,, he realised,,,,,

and boIIIIII was changbin mad

he washed all of his caps bc god knows wHAT jisung might’ve done with them

and then r a n - my homeboi literally sprinted - to jisung’s house and tackled him as soon as he saw him

and jisung was literally choking on his laughter

like changbin is strangling him but he’s still laughing

he also set up cameras in the room, knowing changbin would come sometime soon

added that as a lil’ reaction clip in his next video lmfao

he’s also obviously part of the ‘00 line gamers

and he’s usually the one that starts all the twitch streams and that

he’ll screen record as well and send changbin or chan the stuff to put on their channel

he’s that one guy that literally fucks about during a match but will still get a beautiful k/d ratio & be at least top 3

he’s basically cyanide from zf but instead of a girlfriend he has minho

he also gives a lot of shoutouts on his channel and during his videos

like it can be the most random person like “shoutout to that kid in the park that joined my parkour cheer, you got a lot to learn from me but i like your moves”

has also done small giveaways

stole one of chan’s hoodies & was like thiiiiis close to selling it off to someone but chan managed to get it back just in time

he also does reaction videos to the other guys’ videos just to annoy them ;^)

like he’ll switch between going “oh yeahhh that was an amazing kill binnie(!)” to “WHOA YES DAMN!!! HYUNJIN YOU GOT SKILLZ MA BOIIIIII”

he’s literally everyone’s hype man and he’s always so positive

except when he tried doing a diss track against changbin

started it off all serious and halfway through he just ended up laughing and mocking everyone in the group before giving up

he’s also so !!!! g00d !!!!!! at singing

so sometimes he’ll just be gaming and then he’ll start singing

and it’s going all nice and his voice is being beautiful

and then it comes to a long note and he just goes AAAAAAAAH and starts screaming

1) he just killed such a beautiful song wtf

2) he didn’t mute the mic so everyone’s ears are dead wtf

so now whenever he starts singing everyone just mutes him until at least 5 mins pass

including jeongin lmao this boi aint having none of ur shit jisung

they all come back to hearing “dudes?? felix you there?? hyunjin help meeee!!! WHY ARE NONE OF YOU REPLYING TO ME?!?!?!?1!!?1!?”

and jeongin deadass said “we muted you duh”

and jisung was just like “bruh <\3 even you?”

jeongin: “i muted you as soon as the game began” #SavageMaknaeFTW

jisung’s like “well, at least minho didn’t mute me this whole time right??”

“...”

everyone diED and a couple of minutes later you just hear minho go “oh he’s finally stopped singing? that was quick”

jisung rage quite that day lmfao

so,,,,

although he makes everyone’s lives quite hectic and crazy

he’s always positive

and he’s always there for the guys

he knows when to be serious and when to have fun

and he always lets the guys know that despite the jokes and pranks, he’s got their backs and loves them very much

he’s the most open about saying he loves them the cutie <3333

this series is almost ending it’s like watching a child grow up istg im sad :(((

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW34+

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Salah and Mane

IN (for -4 points): Sterling and De Bruyne

Pretty straightforward removal of the Livp players as discussed on the pod the only real question was whether or not I wanted to get Razzybaby or Mahrez. It's been a while since I played with Raz and his underlying stats have been looking good. Also has the possibility of playing down the middle given the pile of wank that Jesus has looked recently.

Kevin off a rest feels like it's time to get him back in and rectify the huge mistake I made in binning him in the first place. 

GK:

de Gea (avl)

Villa looked up for it against Livp yesterday but luckily they are Villa and they don't really have any players who can score a goal. Hopefully that is enough.

DEF:

Maguire (avl)

I've decided to throw him back out and give Saiss another spell on the bench. As disheartening as it is to actually watch this player play the game..they're still good. They should still completely dominate the proceedings here and realistically a clean should come. Air quotes around should. All I can do is hope that he doesn't make yet another unforced error leading to a goal.

Doherty & Boly (shu)

Exposing myself to two pieces of the clean rather than three seems reasonable.

Sheffu are a fucked up mess going forward with injuries and issues in midfield as well as nothing to play for. Wolves will be absolutely dying for the three points after an off day against the Arsenal I expect them to smother Sheffu and easily smother them. After a full house of defensive blanks this GW just gone I feel much more hopeful with these fixtures.

MID:

Fernandes (avl)

What can be said of the man. Absolute machine just shits fpl points. He picks himself.

Pulisic (cry)

Kid has been looking good since the restart and is very clearly their danger man right now. It's good to see him building momentum and playing like this though, good for Chelsea and good for fpl. He should keep trickling points in and has brace potential every game he plays. Just a great pick at the moment and with us looking pretty beached there are probably goals to be had here.

De Bruyne, Foden, & Sterling (NEW)

Very quickly went from 0 City to max attack attack attack with the fraud's boys. They are still just creating one thousand chances per game so having all the things seems fine. Have been here many, many times before and it usually goes pretty badly, but this time it'll be different, right?

FWD:

Kane (bou)

Holy shit writing this as the final whistle blows in the Everton game. Shocking. Don't think I saw him go into a sprint all 90 and was back in midfield. Hopefully he doesn't pick up a yellow card and gets me 2 points instead of 1 before I sell him on.  

Calvert-Lewin (SOU)

Jesus Christ Everton.

They have 1 goal from open play since the restart and look about at the level of Norwich. I might bench him for Saiss...?

I'll have to give this a little bit more mulling over but it seems like Carlo is trying to just sabotage the rest of the season to avoid Europa or some shit dunno what they are doing. Fuck Everton. They just look like ridiculous jokes right now ugh.

CAP:

Foden (NEW)

Hi Alon.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Was poking around the forwards to see if there’s anyone I like or trust a lot and every guy I like is not a guy that I trust. The Venn Diagram crossover has no one in the middle just like Giroud and Iheanacho and Gayle and shit in the guys I like circle and Ings and maybe no one else in the guys I trust circle and no overlap... So fuck it I’m saving and benching DCL and figuring it out next week with max flexibility.

GK:

Ederson (NEW)

Should be an easy clean for City unless Eddy pushes up to the halfway line and gets DUON by the flying fucks of Newcastle... No St. Max though so it really should be easy.

Although Dwight’s coming for that Ederson ass (shoutout Tzar007).

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold (bha)

Who knows what’s up with Liverpool??? It’s so weird and chill and they look really bad but also who cares because they’re the best??? Genuinely no idea what the lineup will be any week and no idea how they’ll play and how Trent will play... Just sorta holding for now and will address when it becomes an issue for me.

Maguire (avl)

Choke the Villains to oblivion except for the few chances they’ll get and we just need Harry/Lindy/Daveed to not fuck up in those three moments and this’ll be a clean.

Doherty (shu)

Wolves’ attack has been complete and utter shit and the Dock isn’t helping really... Not sure if he’s just leggy with their small squad but I would feel pretty lucky to get any Wolves attacking points between Dock and Jim at this point. Hoping for a 0-0 in this one.

Stevens (WOL)

Spent the Twitch stream agonizing over what to do with my dog-shit forwards especially DCL and the solution that made the most sense to me was to just bench him and start my SHU wingback in a likely 0-0 game... Wolves suck at attacking so maybe 0-0 just gets me there with Dock and Enda... Always the chance of an assist too if it doesn’t go as planned. DCL ride the pine.

MID:

De Bruyne & Mahrez (NEW)

Cap Mahrez fucked me hard but whatever if/when these two get minutes they’ll get points. Hope they start!!! Just holding’em blindly.

Martial & Fernandes (avl)

Martial best pick of my season going with him from the r3start and I love him so it’s great. Everyone should probably own these two guys. Good shit.

Pulisic (cry)

Puli needs to get me a goal in open play so I feel better that he’s not just gonna tippy toe tap around the box for funsies and he’s actually going to be lethal. But regardless love him and he’s great and fun to watch so do your thing dog.

FWD:

Jimenez (shu)

Bleh. Such a bummer of a pick. Ceiling of 8 points and I expect 2 points basically regardless of opponent. Hmph.

Not happy with him or my forwards. Didn’t trust myself and started with Jim because it was “obvious” and “easy” and I didn’t back myself like a bitch.

CAP:

De Bruyne (NEW)

Not gonna overthink it here with the best player in the best fixture and just go get my points...

It’s not “fun” or “exciting” but hopefully I get a big leg-up on the people who cap Bruno/Tony/Foden (hi Walsh) etc... Think Kev is pretty nailed on to start after the benching and I think they’ll score a ton of goals vs. Newc... Keeping it simple.