#and then the ingredients go bad lol
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funkle420 · 20 days ago
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the senshi in my mind whenever im grocery shopping and see premade food i want knowing full well i wont ever cook any of it myself
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six-of-ravens · 7 days ago
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and the award for weirdest sleep goes to...
#todays gonna be a weird i think#might delete socials for a bit#i had a VIVID dream me and one of my mutuals were trying to buy a new Tolkien appendix book or something. new Middle Earth book#and we discovered even opening the book slightly caused us immense eye pain so i confronted the clerk like#WTF IS WRONG WITH YOUR BOOKS#and she was like THOSE HAVE BEEN CURSED GET OUT GET OUT YOU CAN ONLY READ THEM IF YOU PERSONALLY EMBROIDER THE PAGES WITH THE TEXT#and she had like. embroidery kits for the damn book#anyway. that's like the 4th night in a row ive slept badly so.#gonna delete socials and just focus on 1. adding books to librarything. 2. setting up the aerogarden. and 3. finishing this book#i wanted today to be a chill relaxed don't bother with plans day but i think my brain needs a strict to do list lol#also gonna make cabbage rolls for supper. side note the label on that box is REALLY cute ill try and remember to post a photo#not sure if ill make my intended cocktail for tonight. i thought i was sleeping poorly bc i was drinking them before bed but i only had tea#last night and slept worse than ever so. idk. i already have half the ingredients for it...#anyway. the coffeepot is done so i gotta stop rambling and do something#oh side note i found where i went wrong with my budget yesterday LOL i calculated everything monthly EXCEPT my groceries#only added the biweekly/per paycheck number for those which is why i had so much 'extra'#WHOOPSIES#so i gotta redo that and it's actually going to look PRETTY BAD not PRETTY GOOD so
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tj-crochets · 1 year ago
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I keep forgetting to ask, but do y'all have any recommendations for B12 supplements that are like liquigels (or whatever those are called) instead of tablets? I'm allergic to at least one of the inactive ingredients in the B12 supplements I've tried, but I have never yet had a reaction to inactive ingredients of liquigels (capsules? what are those called?) At this point, I am not looking for any particular dosage of B12; my doctor just wants me to try it to see if it helps with severe muscle cramps. Once I see if it works, she's going to do more bloodwork and determine which dosage I should be taking (I have had other bloodwork to rule out other possible causes, and at this moment B12 is the only thing I'm testing low on)
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
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misc. daily life photos again .. for the every once in a while that I collect enough over a few months to actually make a photo set out of them lol
#Not sure how to caption every photo because you can unfortunately no longer caption photos so that text appears#under them when you view them. you can only add photo descriptions (which is more about literally describing#the image for people who can't see it or etc.). I wish they had the ability to have both captions and descriptions as both are useful for#different functions but it seems they took captions away entirely so. I guess I'll have to just number every picture and then talk about th#em in the tags or soemthing?? SO.. starting from top left to right --#image 1: blackberries BUT also if you look close.. there's a tiny little bug on them lol#image 2: little water droplets on the back of a leaf that looked cool.. love anything with tiny water orbs#image 3&4: a spiky fuzzy sort of caterpillar outside on a yardwork glove.. small friend#image 5: THIS is such a bad slogan!!! what a lie!!! I personally would LOVE to have a sandwich party! in fact I would rather attend a#sandwich party than a pizza party because it would be fun to sample a wide variety of sandwich platters with all different meats and chee#& breads & ingredients & etc. !! now I just wish I could go to a cool sandwich sampling party w a full buffet of various mini sandwiches :#image 6: a chicken sandwich I made myself at home. with swiss cheese >:3#image 7&8 : HHRGH it's a CAT and also bubble tea!!! AND is pastel teal! but alas.. it was like $20 and I didnt want to pay that but now#looking back on the photos slightly regret it lol. I think it's more because it's a brand name since the cat is some popular cat like hello#kitty or something. I didn't really notice that until later lol. I was just thinking 'OMG A CAT!'. I love all cats. brand or no brand lol#image 9: my single once a year trip to the drink place that has really nice garlic noodles. this time with beef? which was good too. And#the typical drink order of pina colada smoothie (i think it's coconut pineapple and strawberry?). plain matcha bubble tea (favorite and all#I ever get from anywhere). and a strawberry smoothie thing. I also usually get a coffee bubble tea but the place is like 50% of the time ou#of coffee for some reason so. hggh.. Which I know is like everyday food for some people but. I get food from places SO rarely that it's al#ays an event to take a picture about lol. Just cooking at home 99% of the time makes those trips for fancy food more special I guess#Id rather save the money/dont have much in the 1st place .& also am still a freak who hates using apps/dislikes shit like ubereats or etc.#I would literall NEVER get food delivered to my house under any circumstance unless I was dying alone inside on hospital bed rest with no#support system and no transportation and having food delivered to me was my last possible option. otherwise. if I want something so bad#I can just leave the house to physically pick it up myself without involving a middle man to the process and paying more. .. ANYWAY ghjgjh#image 10: BOY in BOX.. playing a new boardgame and he sits inside! rip to my big beautiful son. I miss him.#UpWords is a fun game though. It's similar to scrabble except you can stack the letters? interesting#Okay. that's all the pictures! Also for the record I do think it's a good thing to have image descriptions! I wasn't complaining in the sen#e that I wish they would get rid of them and bring captions back. more just I would like to have both preferrably. I liked being able to#caption things on the occasional post like this where the layout is better suited towards it.#photo diary
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protect-namine · 1 year ago
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went through a series of very small inconveniences and mistakes that are honestly not A Big Deal but it's putting me in a bad mood nonetheless
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juniperhillpatient · 2 years ago
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the thing about me getting my life somewhat together is when I’m bored I either write, clean, cook, or shop & the first 3 things are honestly great but if I’m on top of things then they’re caught up / done & then I just drain my bank account lmao
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carpathxanridge · 5 months ago
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mmm that pasta salad is even better the next day
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cilantroodon · 1 year ago
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fuck it meal plan for the week:
lunch for today:
something made by notme (I am not saving $100 this month y'all but that is the least of my worries)
dinnar:
harvest grains w/ red curry to use the leftover onion
other veg: carrots, bok choy, half a pepper, some cauliflower
protein: tofu
side of cucumber spears and soy sauce
bfast friday:
boiled egg with black sesame seeds
potatoes again
lunch friday:
hummus wrap
veg: cauliflower (cooked), lettuce, pickled cucumber or cabbage
dinner friday:
lasagner (inc. carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, & half a pepper)
salad 👍
bfast saturday (before Big Sleep):
toast with jam & peanut butter
snacktime!
dinner saturday (before/during ofmd?):
big harvest grains salad w/tofu and lettuce, lemon juice as dressing
hmm lasaga
"lunch" "saturday":
microwave quesadilla hours
orange or other fruit (hi jeanette winterson)
breakfast before the sleeptimes:
egg! wahoo!
toast
evening meal sunday:
baked potato w/ any leftover veg that is lingering
salad
work meal "sunday":
wouldn't you know it's lasagna time
and salad yahoo
monday breakfast:
man idk follow your bliss
snacktime!
m(onda)y dinnar 🔥:
mayhaps pizza bagels
with salad ofc
work meal "monday":
fresh rolls! with soy sauce and hummus
veg: cucumber, mint/basil, carrot, lettuce
orange
breakfast tuesday:
egg :]
snacktime!
dinner tuesday:
also pizza bagels
orange
last work meal of the week yahoo! woo!
egg salad sandwich (I have to finish this celery and the mayo fr)
wednesday breakfast:
whatever you want babygirl (lie: options are limited)
wednesday lunch:
gotta keep eating that egg salad!
wednesday dinner
leftovers night if applicable, quesadilla or omelette if not
next thursday breakfast:
salad (rolls) yay :-)
after this go shopping again but egg salad for lunch probably
snack foods to get:
whatever the discounted fruit is ofc
oatmilk for the rest of the cocoa
pistachios
crackers
preserved stuffed eggplants in tomato juice or dolmas
literal candy for morale
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malusokay · 2 years ago
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Glow-up tips that actually work from your favourite beauty girly (me)
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Hot girls don't gatekeep, so here are some of my favourite glow-up tips that actually work. <3
Skin
Find a skincare routine that works for you!! It took me years to find mine, but now my skin is literally perfect. <3 (let me know if you guys want a detailed skincare routine!!)
Don't pick your skin, the less you touch your face, the better.
I believe ice rollers are bs…
If you struggle with dark circles, don't try fixing them through skincare. Most likely, the problem comes from your diet or stress.
Dry brushing is a game-changer!!
Use lotion after every shower and apply a body spray before the lotion is fully absorbed into your skin. You'll smell amazing for DAYS.
Don't try homemade skincare if you already struggle with your skin. I learned it the hard way, lol…
WASH YOUR MAKEUP BRUSHES
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Hair
The more heat you use, the more damage you'll have.
SILK PILLOWCASES
Never sleep with wet or damp hair.
Stop buying cheap shampoo and conditioner, also make sure to check the ingredients!!
Some ingredients to avoid: Sulfates, Parabens, Polyethene Glycols, Triclosan, Formaldehyde, Synthetic Fragrances and Colors, Dimethicone, Retinyl Palmitate.
I trim my hair every 3 months.
If you have damaged hair, invest in some Olaplex!! my favourites are N4c, N6 and N7. <3
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Diet
green juice actually makes you feel better. I make mine at home and LOVE it :)
Balance is key!! I swear by the 80/20 rule.
Drink more water, even if you think you're drinking enough. DRINK MORE
Keto is BS <3
Focus on eating more protein. Usually, low-fat products have more protein, so I just try to buy those, lol.
I eat gluten-free, not by choice… But it did clear my acne, so…
Take supplements, get a blood test done, discuss it with a doctor and start taking whatever they recommend. GAME CHANGER.
EAT MORE VEGETABLES and fruits.
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Lifestyle
Focus on being more active, walk more, workout, join a club or sport, dance, whatever works for you!!
I aim for 10K steps, I live in a big city, so I usually walk more than that but still.
Hobbies that don't include screen time. Trust me.
Find your personal style and ALWAYS dress up. <3
TREAT YOURSELF. Buy yourself flowers, and presents, go to your favourite restaurants, vacations!!
Read more. As a classics lover, I can't imagine a life without literature, but even if you don't like classics, any book is better than no book!!
Take more pictures. I've noticed that I have become a lot more present since I've started taking more pictures!! highly recommend :)
I hate to say this, but getting up earlier is lowkey kinda great... been doing it for a few weeks, and unfortunately, I do feel better... they were right...
Get a cat. :)
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Mindset
Stop assuming that everyone hates you, they don't, trust me.
Journaling, manifesting, law of attraction, affirmations.
one of my favourite affirmations: "if I weren't capable, the opportunity wouldn't have come my way; I belong here." <3
Stop hanging out with people who drain your energy
stop consuming media that makes you feel bad.
What would the highest version of yourself do?
If you change your mindset, you will change your life.
Romanticise every aspect of your life. <3
As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and glow-up tips in the comments! <3
✩‧₊*:・love ya ・:*₊‧✩
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viasdreams · 3 months ago
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Nightwalker ཐི❤︎ཋྀ
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'No human blood' is an extremely grueling rule for Donghyuck to live by, his fledgling vampire urges consuming his every thought. Some days, he finds himself struggling to hold onto his humanity, constantly fighting against his insatiable cravings. His human facade slips one night when he passes you, your bloody hand unknowingly guiding his monstrous actions.
or haechan accidentally sucks your blood and drama ensues
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pairing: vampire haechan x fem! human reader
genre: social media alternative universe (smau), comedy, fantasy, angst
warnings: slight gore, lots of talk about blood, profanity, sex jokes, jokes about death, actual death (not character death but all the vampires are technically dead) kys/kms jokes
a/n: ahhh my first smau !! is this an excuse to make jokes about that favorite era pic of haechan? YES IT IS !! this will be a very silly story and not like horror/serious just so we're clear, i just liked the black aesthetic lol. ill still be posting one-shot texts so don't worry your pretty little heads :))
status: ongoing !!
taglist: open !!
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profiles (1) ~ profiles (2)
milkies boy
live tweeting his crash out
hyuck finally kicking the bucket (written)
one wet dream about mark
ive read some nasty fanfic about him
r u jorking my shit rn?!?!
ok throat goat!! (written)
bad case of the squirts
clock crazy hours on the toilet
raises gun to mouth
my girl weiner hard rn
you're going shit butt
NEED one to maul me
the hottest of all the smurfs
plz shoot me and not with that gun (written)
main ingredient in that yummy manwich
do you know how to tie a noose?
i hope you get roofied every day!!
im jisung, your new owner (written)
bleeding in my tweak zone
especially you anime mfs
just lost all desire to cum
i chugged a thing of toilet bowl cleaner (written)
hyuck's unbrushed tongue
bonus: who's blood/dick do i have to suck | im not a sexbot, just a guy
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arlerts-angel · 5 months ago
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Could I get a sex on the beach with a cherry on top for Rin Itoshi? :) 💕
୧ ‧₊˚ 🍹 ⋅ 𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐔𝐏 !
⟢ ingredients: 18+! mdni. ノ rin itoshi x fem reader ノ pwp ノ college au ノ hate sex ノ unprotected sex (piv) ノ cowgirl ノ creampie ノ rin is mean :( he literally doesn't touch you lol ノ bimbo-esque reader ノ some degradation: variations of slut, brat, whore ノ physically ambiguous reader ノ
⟢ wc: ~550
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𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍��� 𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈'𝐒 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 was not an easy task. in his mind, everyone in his vicinity was beneath him — nothing but lowly pissants who make the mountains that he moves.
and when you did manage to get his attention, it wasn't very long... nor was it pleasant, but you had it, and that's what you wanted.
he'd scoff and act irritated beyond belief, like he was doing charity work to give you his time of day. you didn't care, though. you were determined to fuck rin itoshi.
"rin!! got a minute?" you ask, knowing his answer will be...
"i certainly don't have time for your shit..." you say in unison. he glares at your grin.
"tch. you're an annoying brat" he sighs, looking down at you with a bird's eye view of your cleavage. he grows increasingly irritated at the sight of your skimpy uniform, yet turned on by your physique.
his cheeks grew bright red and warm, and he hoped like hell you wouldn't notice both his embarrassment or the excitement in his pants.
nothing gets past you, though.
"what's wrong rin? you've never seen tits before?" you taunt with a devilish grin.
"don't talk to me like that. it's trashy. though i should expect nothing less from you" he quips.
"oooh! fiesty today!" you giggle, feeling a pool of arousal growing in your panties.
"shut up, slut" he groans exasperatedly.
"mmm keep going rin, i'm close!" you moan playfully.
"fuck's sake..! you're so desperate. if i fuck you will you piss off?! he asks annoyedly, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"oh, absolutely" you reply with a smirk.
he grabs your wrist tightly and drags you to his on-campus apartment. his cock silently begging to be freed from the confine of his pants. he slams the door behind you then slams himself down onto the couch.
"you want to fuck so bad? fuck me yourself then, slut" he spits as he takes his cock out of his pants. his tip is red hot and dripping with precum.
"take a fucking picture, it'll last... wha– are you drooling?! tch" he grumbles.
you sit yourself down on his pretty cock, studying his face and moaning as you adjust to his size.
"mmm rin!" you moan, rubbing your clit while slowly moving your hips.
"you're this fucking wet? i haven't touched you... filthy slut" he hisses as his cock is enveloped by your tight cunt.
his eyes flutter and roll back as you slam yourself up and down his length, earning a few grunts and groans of pleasure. you grin and squeeze his cock tighter. "shit... just like that, right there" he groans and grips the cushions.
"nngh! rin! 'm gonna cum!" you cry out, feeling a jolt of electricity strike your clit as you reach your orgasm. your pace slows as you recover.
rin groans as he feels your cunt pulsing around his cock, then again when your pace quickens. "fuck..! ugh-!" he groans as his cock twitches one final time, then dumps his load deep inside you.
rin catches his breath while you gather your belongings. "as promised, i'll stop bothering you now" you grin.
"right, and don't even think about telling anyone about this, got it?" rin scoffs while he cleans himself off.
you nod, then see yourself out.
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support banner by saradika-graphics
note: this is my first time ever writing bllk/rin itoshi smut so please let me know how this was 🥺🤲 also forgive me if i'm rusty, i feel like i haven't written in ages !!
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yumeka-sxf · 7 months ago
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Spy x Family workbook scans - part 2
The second SxF workbook is about programming, though it's just comprised of very simple logic problems. But regardless, the illustrations are once again extremely adorable ❤️
Family outing time! (in their outfits from the Berlint aquarium episode)
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Chibi versions of the characters, including the only image of chibi Sylvia! (for you @kaibutsu-kid)
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One of the scenarios in the book involves picking the right ingredients based on what Anya wants (meat and eggs) but also nothing fried, since Loid has a stomachache 😦
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Yor is going to cook! The book doesn't explicitly say anything about her bad cooking, but Anya says "Mama, don't overdo it" as she and Bond look at her worriedly! (also, strangely, they have Yor refer to herself as "watakushi" even though the pronoun she always uses for herself is "watashi").
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One of my favorite images from this book - mother/daughter grocery shopping 😊
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Whatever Yor ended up cooking, at least she's happy about it!
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Some cute Anya~
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And cute Anya & Bond!
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Such adorable Bond poses ❤️ I love his angry face!
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Loid peeking in on Anya studying and her indignant expression 😅
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The book acknowledges Yor's city hall job and her job as Thorn Princess, which is a nice detail!
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Also Loid's job as a pshychiatrist.
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Becky and Anya on their way to somewhere fun~
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Lol, wherever Anya is going with Yor here, she doesn't look enthused 😅
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This page is a cute scenario about Franky making a robot and giving it instructions in the proper order to open the wine bottle.
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Yuri makes a brief appearance in this book too. Judging by the look on his face, he must be drinking something that Yor made for him and not Loid 😂
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And lastly, Anya in a Bondman costume! Loid needs to get her that in canon.
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Continue to Part 3 ->
<- Return to Part 1
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novasturns · 3 months ago
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!BFMATTSTURNIOLO HEADCANONS
- how i think matt would be in a relationship lol
warnings: little suggestive/nsfw but fluff mostly
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he never lets you pay like ever, he ALWAYSS pays for you no matter what it is and don't even get me started when you come up to him saying u wanna get job. he doesn't want you to work, he says he's the one that makes money and your his girlfriend so you should just relax
he tries to cook for you but fails everytime :( he does love to help you in cooking tho, he always comes down to the kitchen when he hears u cooking and is like ,,can i help you with something?" cause he feels bad when he doesn't help you :(( and even when you say ,,matt there's nothing you can help me with but thank you" he still sits in the kitchen and watches you in admiration
speaking of helping in the kitchen, he actually enjoys cleaning. he cleans the house every time you come over. after you're done cooking, he loads the dishwasher for you, cleans the counters, puts the remaining ingredients back. he puts on fresh sheets few mins before u come over, he scrubs the bathroom entirely so you can shower in a clean space, he will even wash your clothes
his heart melts when he's playing with trevor with you:( or just simply when he sees you cuddling/playing with him. if you had a cat he would try to play with it or pet it. i bet all animals love matt so your pet would love him 100%
CAR RIDES DATES LIKE ALL THE TIME. you two like to go to a fancier restaurant but yalls fav date would still be a car date. driving to a store, buying snacks and just eating them in a car, or you would get McDonald's.
he is TOUCHY. always holding ur hand no matter what. he would do the thumb thingy too (ikyk) he's hugging u from behind, resting his head on your shoulder, giving u little kisses on your neck and cheek, his hands hugging your belly and you cant help but giggle
in sex, he takes everything slowly. starting as a slow makeout, his lips moving to ur neck, gently kissing, sucking your nipples, tracing kisses all over your body. he treats you like goddess, caressing your hips and legs, praising you like ,,you're so beautiful" all the time.
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- SO SO SORRY i didn't post in so fucking long, i have completely forgot about this app and i have no motivation to do anything
- reblogs are highly appreciated <3
- i love you all🤍
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bluesylveon2 · 4 months ago
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Chocolate Muffin Drama
A/N: So i'm on the olympic chocolate muffin tiktok and then this appeared lol. Everyone is aged up, sports/countries are not specified (except for Vil, Rook, and Rollo), and Yuu/Reader is a female
Everything starts when Ace wants to get breakfast at the Olympic dining hall and his eyes land on Yuu eating about 10 chocolate muffins
Yuu literally has crumbs on her face and the chocolate filling (or sauce? Idk) on her fingers. She looked like a hot mess that someone from the German team showed up to "clean the potato"
Ace is both surprised and confused
Later on, while sitting in the audience for a sport, he watches Yuu destroying the opposing team. Gold medal worthy, in his eyes
Ace rn: "is that the same girl who devoured those muffins in one sitting?"
Yes, yes, it is
Anyways, Ace is SMITTEN by Yuu and is determined to win her heart
How does he do it? He grabs a muffin at the dining hall and tries to give it to Yuu, but she is not there.
He comes back the next day to find out there are no more muffins! (gee I wonder why???)
Plan B: give it to Trey
Ace: I need you to tell me what ingredients are used to make this muffin
Trey: okay....
Eventually, Trey cracks the code to the muffins and even writes down the recipe for Ace
If only all's well, ends well
Meanwhile, a muffin thief was currently bringing the muffins back to the Village
Ruggie drops off his stash to Leona (while also taking one or two for himself. Leona pretends to not see it) so he can give it to Yuu later that day
See, Leona has been doing this for a few days now, but he waits until Yuu gets her servings before taking the rest to avoid suspicion
Yuu caught Leona's eyes at the same event Ace went to
He would have gone for more had a certain Frenchman not sat by him
Leona: there are other seats, ya know?
Rook: au contraire! These are the best seats to watch Madame Trickster perform!
So Leona repeats the process and basically plays hide and seek with Rook while Ruggie works.
He ends the day by being Yuu's prince charming (literally) and gifts her the muffins
He knows about the redhead who is trying to recreate the muffins.
It would be bad if the recipe got stolen...
Except, it wasn't Ruggie who took it. It was a bat
Lilia is grinning like he won the lottery. He saw how the muffins became viral on MagicTok and he just had to make some to share to all of his fellow athletes
(Little did anyone know that Lilia would accidentally end the Games if he succeeded)
Luckily, Silver is there to save everyone
He recognized the muffins from the dining hall and Malleus mentioned his new friend loved them
So he goes out to the nearby shops/places in Paris to buy the ingredients, unaware of a group of six guys currently on a goose chase to find a recipe
(tbh idk if the athletes can explore the city but let's pretend they can)
Silver has never met Yuu, but according to Malleus, she was a nice person.
Malleus suggests that Silver makes Yuu some muffins (it's a miracle he was able to at the Village). Silver gives some to her as a thank you for befriending his brother
What he doesn't know is that Malleus is trying to set the two up, so he talks about Silver when he's around Yuu and recruits Sebek to stop Lilia from adding his "secret ingredient" to the muffins
Bonus:
Malleus also drags Silver to Yuu's sporting events, sitting away from Ace and Leona
Except he has his own problem with someone from the French team
Rollo: why must you sit next to me? go somewhere else
Malleus: hush, Flamme, I am trying to get a sister-in-law here
Silver: trying to fight sleep
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sleepymccoy · 3 months ago
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I have some general anxiety about going to supermarkets aimed at specific cultures because the intended clientele is not lil white me and the staff often don't speak english and I feel inappropriate. But not once has this been true, and I've always enjoyed my visit. Anyway, that's a preface so you can appreciate how brave I am
My colleague recently made me lahpet which is a Burmese salad including pickled tea leaves, dried beans mix, and tomatoes. I loved it and wanted more. I live in a densely Chinese area and thought one of the many supermarkets might have something Burmese, so I brought the empty jar to every store.
Many don't speak english, but that's fine. I had a jar! All interactions basically went like this;
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None of them knew Burmese so couldn't even tell me if they had something similar
I gave up and bought it online. Also had a hard time with that cos they don't deliver to apartments (got the vibe that it's just the shop owners son doing deliveries and he couldn't be fucked going upstairs. Valid). But I persevered and got three jars! And the dried beans mix I needed. Way too many dried beans, I totally misjudged the size of the bag being sold
I used one to show my friends this salad. They didn't go as insane over it as I did. I gave another jar to my dad who did go appropriately insane. He said he liked it, then five min later interrupted to say he really liked it, then after dinner spent time with me going through the ingredients and trying to figure out if he can pickle tea leaves himself. Booyah.
Regardless, this left me with one jar which I swiftly finished. So I'm on the hunt again and the online store stresses me out now cos they don't like apartments
I found a Burmese supermarket a few suburbs away and a twenty min walk from the station. Fucking worth it, it's added two hours to my commute home but I want these jars so much. I enjoyed the stroll. It rained a bit, so I saw a couple rainbows
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In the store I was, again, immediately stressed. I went down an aisle and back again and found nothing. I found other pickled things! But not my tea leaves! I did not want this trip to be in vain, it was long and I had a shit day at work. I was really only doing it today cos the days a write off as a bad day so I may as well run an annoying errand
Anyway I pulled up the website and showed the lady at the counter a photo of the jar and she pointed me to them immediately. I returned like fifteen seconds later with four jars and she was already on a phone call with someone. I love workers rights. You're awesome, lady.
So I say four and hold four fingers up and pass her one jar. She scans and sets the price right. She then interrupts whoever's talking on the phone to ask me, "How you know this?"
So I quickly explained that my colleague made me the salad and I loved it. She pointed back at the aisle and said, "the beans, you need beans." So I was like "I have so many beans, I bought too many, I just need the pickled leaves." And she was already waving her hand at me in disinterest so I stopped talking and paid lol.
It was a long haul home. I passed and remember to take a photo of my favourite art installation, the tower of coffee cups in a pole.
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There's no starbucks in my suburb so one of these at least has taken a long trip to get here. So did I today, my feet are sore
Anyway, I have four jars of miraculous pickled tea leaves. If you can figure out how to buy these ingredients I recommend it to serve alongside very fatty meals like lasagne or sausage cos it cuts through nicely. I also take a serving to work every day because the tea leaves are caffeinated so I'm skipping the second coffee
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I love lahpet
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hellishjoel · 1 year ago
Text
off to the races
6.3k / dbf!joel x f!reader
Series Masterlist | Next Chapter
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pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4
series summary: You and your parents rent a lakeside cabin, Joel and Sarah Miller are your neighbors. You’re all grown up, and you’ll do anything to prove to Joel you’re a woman now. 
warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), NO OUTBREAK, neighbor!joel, age gap (reader is in their early 20’s while Joel is in his 40’s), alcohol consumption, slight daddy issues lol, cursing, use of pet names, dominant!joel, maybe a lil brat tamer!joel, oral sex (m receiving), a lil praise kink, a lil degradation kink, facial, etc. you know ;)
A/N: needed to get cool slutty daddy out of my system. He’s just a Lana coded man!! I plan on turning this into a series, I hope it get's some love! let me know what you think by sending me an ask!
Your desperate eyes met his, trying to gauge what he thought. You hated how you looked like you wanted him so bad. He was your neighbor, your friend’s dad, but you wanted him to be something for you too.  “I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doin-”  His words made your chest go tight and your eyes filled with pure horror. What have you done?! “But you need to be the one to walk away, because I don’t think I can.”
Summers in Danbury were what you looked forward to all year long when you were younger. You would love the long drive to the lakeside cabin, swimming in the dazzling blue water all day, and catching fireflies at night before ending it with roasting s'mores over the campfire. 
Now, all Danbury reminded you of were your parents stripping your feeling of independence as soon as you stepped in their embrace and the lack of cell service. 
It wasn’t all that bad, though. Who were you to complain about an all-expense paid vacation on the water? Your parents were fine, you just graduated from university, everything was just.. good. It almost made you a little bored, thinking about the impending summer. 
The warm sun’s kiss on your skin was a welcomed greeting after spending the past 9 months away at school out of state, your eyes twinkling below your sunglasses as you stepped out of the car. It was good to be back in Texas.
“Look, there she is!” Your dad cooed as he was eager to point out the sign that sat beside the entrance of the cabin that read ‘Life is Better at the Cabin’. Cheesy. It wasn’t your choice of decor since it was just a rental property, but still. You also despised the ‘The Secret Ingredient is Always Love’ sign in the kitchen. 
You plopped your bags down at the end of your bed, the one just down the hall from your parents, quick to plug in your phone charger though it made little difference with your lack of a strong signal. 
You turned your head to the window, seeing an old, beaten pickup truck turn onto gravel, a small smile peaking on your lips. 
“Hey, look who it is!” Your dad cheered eagerly from the living room, appearing to also be gazing out the window at the sight coming down the road and pulling into the house next to yours. 
The truck in question belonged to Joel Miller and his daughter, Sarah. Sarah had been your close friend each and every summer since you were little. You two were attached at the hip once your family started vacationing here, despite her being a fair five years younger. You two got along nonetheless. 
You stepped outside to greet them, as your mother and father were already out doing, your face lighting up as Sarah made a b-line to your embrace. “Oh my god! Look at you!” She praised, her eyes lighting up at your appearance. 
You two didn’t get the chance to spend the past few summers together due to business with school or internships on your part, so her surprise in seeing you a few years grown up was warranted. 
“Look at me? Look at you!” You said through punched lungs as she hugged you so tight you were losing your breath. 
If you thought Sarah’s tight hug was bad, you weren’t prepared to see what was waiting on the other side of the pickup truck. 
Your lips parted at the sight of Joel Miller. He was sort of… handsome. Was that wrong to think that? I mean, he was so much older than you, someone’s dad, Sarah’s dad. You tried not to let your eyes linger for too long but his voice pitched into the conversation and you had been caught. 
“Hey, Skids.” Ugh. That dreaded nickname you had yet to wear off. “Haven’t seen you these past few summers. Happy to be done with school?” Joel’s southern drawl was a shock to your system after being up in the Midwest for school. 
He was tall and rugged, so unkempt. His hair was tousled everywhere and his beard was growing with salt and pepper stippling through the landscape of his jawline. He looked hot, the faint glisten and stain of sweat marking the collar of his shirt and at the sides of his biceps. 
You blinked a few times before a graceful smile fluttered on your lips.
“Hi, Mr. Miller.” You gently cooed. What? If he could call you by that horrid nickname he had given you when you were barely ten, you could call him by his surname. Your eyes caught his own shift, his jaw twitching at his name being called like that. It was just his name after all, right? 
“Joel.” He corrected with a raised eyebrow, your eyes finally dragging themselves away from his handsome character as they turned to your parents, who were obsessing over Sarah. She was about to go into her senior year of high school, so of course, they had all of the basic questions to ask her. Are you taking any advanced classes? Are you still on the swim team? Do you know where you want to go to college?
You tried to look interested, but you could still feel Joel’s gravitating stare in your direction. 
You were just imagining things, right? He was looking one foot over, to Sarah and your family. Except he wasn’t. You know because you snuck a casual glance over to him, and he was still on you. His gaze alone made a shiver travel up your spine. 
While Sarah and your parents were nestled in their own world of conversation, you take a few subtle steps away and join him by his truck. It still felt warm, the engine relaxing after a good drive in the Texas heat. 
“You need a new truck. She looks like she’s on her deathbed.” You point out, the one corner of his mouth tugging up as he kept his eye on Sarah and your folks with his arms crossed in front of his broad chest. 
“She’s just fine.” He retorts nonchalantly. You hated that about him. You could never figure out what he was thinking, unpredictable but not exactly chaotic. 
“She?” You asked with raised eyebrows. “I always knew you had a special woman in your life. Didn’t know she was so old, though.” You egged him on, your favorite pastime in the summers; Grinding the gears of an old man who had a bigger attitude than you most days. 
“You still have quite the mouth on you. Glad to see that hasn’t changed.” Joel said sarcastically as he pushed himself off the front of the truck with his hip, his head nodding off to the side in a silent way of telling you to follow him. You watched as he pulled down the tailgate, rust screeching until it stopped with a generous thump. 
“Supposed to be Sarah helping me with this, but since she’s busy being Miss Danbury, you can help me.” He said as he pointed to some firewood and other bigger pieces of wood in varying sizes. 
“What do you plan on doing with all this wood anyway? I think the Amazon is looking for it.” You huffed but climbed up into the back of the truck bed without him asking you to. His protective hand instinctively guided your hip for stability, and you felt a rush of air pump through your lungs. “Thanks.” You murmur before you start reaching for stacks you could handle. 
“Sarah wanted to throw y'all a bonfire with it being your first day back for the summer or what have you.” Before you could stop yourself, you were already cooing at him as you jumped down from the tailgate, watching as Joel gave a tight face of annoyance. Don’t do that, you’re gonna get yourself hurt. 
It took Joel all of two seconds to grab two of the larger cut pieces, throwing each of them onto his shoulders. You couldn’t help but stare at his biceps that cradled the wood, the tan skin and muscles popping out of the dark green t-shirt he wore. Focus, focus, focus, focus, focusfocusfocus. 
“And the bigger pieces? What are those for?” You asked out of sheer curiosity now once he threw them down in the back of his lawn, the sight of your parents and Sarah long gone. 
He shrugged and shook his head, his hands on his hips as a layer of sweat started to build up around his hairline. “Just carvin’ projects. The rest can be used for scrap lumber around the lake properties.” His head finally turned to look at you, his eyes raking you up and down for a moment before nodding to your lake house rental. “Doin’ property maintenance over the summer on the houses ‘round here.”
“So if we need maintenance, we call you now?” You asked with a dubious face, to which he nodded. 
This man never stopped. It made sense, you supposed. You reflected on the summers in the past, knowing Joel to manage his own contracting business and picking up odd jobs around town. You remember one summer, he redid the flooring of an old bakery in town and then built custom shelves for the loaves of bread and bagels. Another summer, he repaved people’s driveways with blacktop. He was a laborer, a blue-collar man through and through. 
“That’s right, Skids.” The nickname made you scowl at him again, but you wouldn’t mind seeing Joel Miller laid under your kitchen sink or repairing the window in your bedroom so it could finally let in some fresh air. Frankly, you just wouldn’t mind seeing Joel Miller. 
After Joel reclaimed his daughter from your parents with a snarky yet subtle, Thanks for all your help, kiddo to Sarah, he said goodbye to you and your family as everyone parted ways back to their own homes. 
-
You were tired from the drive, but you didn’t lack attendance to the bonfire Sarah was putting together specifically for you in a welcome back to Danbury! sort of celebration. She invited the other nearby neighbors, so by the time you finally joined, it was packed with people sitting around the fire. People who lived on the lake loved a good party, anything with beer to keep them occupied. 
It was a lot of talking and bottles clinking, marshmallows on sticks, and a crackling fire blazing at the center of everyone. You weren’t one for beer but Sarah insisted on feeding you bottle after bottle. 
She liked sharing secrets with you, away from her dad. She considered you someone she could tell anything to. And you felt the same way. So not more than half an hour later, you two were giggling and sitting on the tailgate of Joel’s old pickup truck when you saw him start to saunter over.  You saw him coming first, snatching Sarah’s bottle out of her hand and taking a sharp inhale as you hid away your own. Sarah’s secret, right? 
“Dad,” she playfully whined when he came over to bust their little party. 
He was silent for a moment before he looked at the dwindling flames. “Fire’s gettin’ low.” He pointed out, looking between the two of you.
His face was lit up in a mix of gold hue from the fire and silver from the moon. His face had this intensity, a bucked-out jawline, cheekbone, and nose. It was like he was carved from stone. 
Sarah was silent, not wanting to leave behind her friends at the bonfire to shuffle over more wood. You softly nodded as you took a swig of her beer bottle in your hand before setting it down once you hopped off the truck bed. 
“I can help.” You offered. Joel looked down at you hesitantly, sneaking a glance to where your parents sat around the growing circle of people.
“Yeah.. yeah, ‘lright.” Joel said as the two of you walked off to the dividing line on his property, the wood you had dropped carelessly earlier in the day now in a neat stack. You certainly weren’t drunk, but slamming Sarah’s beer along with the other ones she ushered you before was now messing with your head, the edges of your vision a little fuzzy, especially in the dark since the glow of the bonfire was at such a distance. 
Before you knew it, you were stacking the wood into your arms, too much maybe. Joel called out your name in a warning tone. 
“No, I got it! See?” You tried to reason with a cocky smile as he shook his head. 
“You don’t like to listen.” He gruffly said as he started picking up the smaller pieces as they fell out of your arms. 
You couldn’t help the playful scoff that left your lips, still insistent on stacking more in your arms, going as far as tucking some in your elbows but all they did was drop at your feet once you went to reach for more. 
“Stop bein’ so damn difficult.” He piped up again as he snagged your wrist, halting your movements. 
“Yeah? I thought you liked difficult women.” Your words were fast like a whip, your eyes challenging his own as the two of you shared unnecessarily long eye contact. 
“Drop-- the wood. Stop bein’ a-” 
“A what?” You challenged. The distance between you two suddenly felt like it was becoming air-tight, his eyes narrowing on yours as his features hardened. He didn’t look mad, lord knows you’d never want to actually make Joel Miller mad. He just looked-- provoked. 
“A brat.” He finally bit, your teeth clenching at the name. The shock of it all made your arms finally burst open like a dam breaching with water, all of them falling to your feet as you let out an involuntary squeal. God, you did not want him to hear that noise leave you like that. 
You finally tugged away your wrist from his hand, your eyes leaving his daggered gaze to examine your palm that had a decent size splinter plunged into the center of it. 
“Shit,” You swore, feeling whatever heat you had left in your body pooling to your stringing finger. 
You heard Joel let out a debated sigh before he took you by your wrist, much more gentle this time, and tried to bring it up closer to his eyes to examine it. 
“Can’t see for shit out here.” He grumbled. You couldn’t see it either but you could feel right where it spread searing pain through the rest of your hand. 
“I got some tweezers in my workshop, I’ll get it out.” Joel offered as he started walking a few paces but you let out an involuntary whimper at the sound of him taking it out. 
“You don’t want that to get infected, do you?” He asked with a true voice of reason, to which you let out a sigh of agreement and followed him to his workshop.
You had only been inside Joel’s workshop a handful of times. You remember once your dad dragged you over so he could talk to Joel about his truck, and you had to wait there and wait there until they finished gabbing. Another time was when you explored it on your own, your eyes fascinated by the little world he surrounded himself in. It wasn’t all wood like you’d expect it to be. He had old guns mounted on the wall, ladders hung up in the rafters, and dusty old fishing plaques that made you disgusted at the sight. It housed his tools, the same ones he had been using for years. He knew where they were by heart, not even looking when he reached for something. Everything had its place, down to the tweezers he immediately found in an old little toolbox. 
“Here,” he said as he pointed to an old metal stool as tall as your waist. You sat down on the cold metal, a little hiss of discomfort leaving you as he sighed. “Always somethin’.” Joel shook his head and offered you a spare dusty blanket, shaking your head. 
“Just-- fix my hand. Please.” You said as you displayed your palm to him, now seeing it in the light for the first time. Okay.. it didn’t actually look as bad as it felt. Joel actually smiled as he looked at the tiny sliver shoved into the skin. 
“..Might have to amputate it.” He said with a half-serious tone, as joking as Joel could sound. But there was a little glint in his eye, one of satisfaction from his own joke.  
“Joel Miller has a sense of humor? I’m surprised. And pleasantly delighted.” You teased as he huffed and shook his head, the smile that graced his lips already came and gone. Sort of. He just looked down at your hand so you couldn’t directly see it anymore. 
It took you until now to see that he changed out of his dark green shirt from this afternoon and into an old 80’s rock band shirt with a worn dark navy flannel over it. He must have showered after laboring in the Texas heat. The thought made your stomach churn in excitement. 
You shivered at how cold you felt all of a sudden, no longer by the warm fire and on this damn metal stool. You shifted uncomfortably on it, cursing yourself for wearing jean shorts. 
Joel let out an exasperated sigh as he stood up straighter and shoved off his flannel, your eyes softening at the sight. 
“You want me to take tweezers to your hand but you keep... shiftin’ around. Stand up.” He directed, and this time you didn’t debate with him. You hopped off the metal stool and he laid down the flannel. It was a nice gesture and you were grateful. You hoped the goosebumps were from the temperature, not how close he was. 
Joel pulled up another metal stool so he could steady himself, reeling himself in as close as he could and holding your palm open in his as his eyes squinted a little bit. 
You felt frozen in place, your lips parting as you slowly looked down to one of his knees that parted between your own legs. Fuck. You weren’t sure if it was the little buzz of beer still in your system but something drove you to have enough courage to gently lay your hand just above his kneecap. 
His eyes flicked up to yours, trying to read what was behind your thought process right now. He looked so confident, you feared you looked all shifty. 
You could feel the worn denim of his jeans under your palm but underneath, he was warm. He was as hot as a furnace as your body craved it. 
“The sliver.” You pointed back out, your voice smaller since you two were in such close proximity. You watched his chest heave as he took a deep breath, grumbling something under his breath before he focused back to his initial task. 
You pursed your lips as you both watched and felt the tweezers line up to the red and irritated skin, his movements precise and patient until you watched him clench the tool closed. 
You let out an involuntary breath of both relief and anticipation, just wanting it out already. 
“Hold on, just gotta make sure I..” Joel’s voice trailed off as he slowly pulled the tiny sliver from your palm, an uncomfortable whine leaving the back of your throat. 
His thigh twitched under your palm at the sound, not even realizing your hand had sunk higher up his jean-clad thigh. 
“Got it.” He finally said, swiping the tip of the tweezer on the table to display the nasty little piece of wood that had caused you all this grief. You let out a breath through your nostrils and nodded. 
“Thank God, no amputation.” You joked, to which he awarded you a small smile. 
“I’ll call the surgeon and tell ‘em to turn around. We’re good here.” Joel said as he gently released your wrist. You watched his features carefully, seeing his lips part as he glanced down to his leg that your hand still held for balance. 
“What’er you doin’?” He finally asked, his voice dropping an octave at the question. Shit. 
Don’t read this wrong, or this will be the most awkward interaction you and Joel have had to date. This is worse than when he saw you fall out of the inner tube while boating, worse than when some kid tripped you at the town barbeque, worse than when you fell off Sarah’s scooter so hard that he gave you the nickname Skids. 
“Woah, Skids! Better slow down!” God, that was so many years ago. His chuckle still echoed in your ears.
Now you were older, you were a woman. You had long legs and glowing skin, and a smile that knocked guy’s out of the fuckin’ park! But he was older too, older than you, younger than your dad but god, not by much. You were so close to him, you could inhale the distant smell of the bonfire, the one he probably made instead of Sarah. He also smelled like an old spice deodorant and fucking cigarettes. 
He was stingy, and greasy, and hot, and Joel. 
Your years of anticipation thinking about him like this was over. 
You bit down on your lower lip, your mind was foggy with the rushing in your heart,  feeling your ears pound and your palm still seared. He was a head taller than you while you sat together, and before you could stop yourself, you were leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his pulse. 
Your lips lingered around his neck for a moment, the sensitive skin of your mouth feeling beard stubble and tasting distant cologne. Your breath fanned over the skin, clammy but sweet with his sweat. 
He didn’t stop you, his eyes merely watching you carefully. 
“What’er you doin’?” He asked again, but this time, his words sounded more-- goading. Do it, I know you won’t. You’re chicken shit. If you know what you want, do it. 
Your heart raced as you nearly leaped off the stool, closing the distance between you two as you stood between his legs. Your hand moved higher on his thigh, so close that you were nearly touching the leather of his belt. Your mouth returned to the sweet spot of his pulse while your injured hand reached up to the opposite side of his neck to gently hold him there. 
“Joel,” you whispered his name breathlessly, asking him for more, feeling his head drop down beside yours. You feared you embarrassed yourself, he wasn’t reciprocating, he wasn’t--
The thoughts brewing in your head bubbled down to a boil as his firm arm wrapped itself low around your waist, keeping you to his front as he pulled down to look at you with a stern look on his face.. You were so fucked. 
Your desperate eyes met his, trying to gauge what he thought. You hated how you looked like you wanted him so bad. He was your neighbor, your friend’s dad, but you wanted him to be something for you too. 
“I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doin-” 
His words made your chest go tight and your eyes filled with pure horror. What have you done?!
“But you need to be the one to walk away, because I don’t think I can.”
His words surprised you. He didn’t think he could walk away from you right now? Holy shit. 
Your heart was pumping so hard under his watchful gaze, seeing his eyes look from yours to your parted lips. But he didn’t kiss you, you don’t think you would let him. It felt too intimate. You just didn’t want another boring summer in Danbury and you were determined to have a fling. 
Who knew it would be with Joel Miller. But you wanted him. 
Your brave hands took him by the chest of his shirt, your mouth moving to his jawline as you balanced the tightrope of kissing and nibbling on the skin before your hands moved south to find his belt buckle. 
His legs naturally parted for you, catching a brief smirk on his lips as you took control of the situation. 
“Dirty girl goin’ right for my fuckin’ cock.” He whispered against the shell of your ear, a desperate nod leaving you while your cheek involuntarily rubbed against the stubble of his beard. You didn’t know he talked like that.
You initiated more space for yourself, nudging the inside of his thighs with your own legs as you had his back up against his drafting table with you no longer on his side but standing in front of him. 
Your quick fingers desperately undid his belt, feeling the old leather under your fingers. You didn’t have the balls to look at him and frankly, you were afraid you would lose your nerve if you did. 
His hands were encouraging for your nervous system, firm palms planted into your hips and even going as far as to squeeze the flesh that sat under your jean shorts. His body warmed you up, his eyes admiring you as you plucked open the button on his jeans. 
You pushed your tongue against your cheek in concentration, all of a sudden desperate at the thought of having him in your mouth. You dragged down the zipper, the relaxed denim exposing the black briefs he wore underneath that hugged his tan hips. 
You slowly sunk to your knees before him, as if you were worshiping a God. Maybe you were, it was Joel Miller, after all.
“This what you were learnin’ off at school?” Joel belittled, your head doing a few quick nods as a flush stained your cheeks. God. Something about Joel calling you a slut had you in a tailspin. You couldn’t wait anymore. 
Your fingers delicately felt over the impressive growth that his briefs held down, biting down on your bottom lip as you let your pointer finger make the outline of his girth. 
He let out an audible grunt at the action, his jaw jutted out, and his eyes filled with lust. “Lemme see that pretty mouth.” He practically purred, your chest rising and falling in anticipation as you slowly opened your mouth for him. You felt the intrusion of his thumb, a guttural moan leaving your throat as your big eyes stayed on his. He pinched at the inside of your cheek for a moment, your eyes twinging closed and opening back up with twinkling tears on the brim of flowing. 
“Good girl, keep that mouth open for me.” He encouraged as he pushed two fingers past your lips, testing you. And you were more than willing to accept his little challenge. His fingers pushed on the back of your tongue, feeling your lips graze all the way to his knuckle as you worked on breathing through the feeling of his fingers shoved down your throat. 
You were determined for him not to get the best of you, to prove how you had some experience under your belt. Your tongue willingly swirled around his digits, humming softly as you suckled. Now it was his turn to look like he was ready to fold. You felt him swell in your hand, the hand still stroking over his erection in his briefs. 
He ripped back his fingers, leaving them with a pop to your lips. Holy shit. You took a few deep breaths and swallowed, blinking back the tears that his fingers provoked from going so far down. 
“Damn, baby, look so pretty down on your knees for me. Don’t make me wait ‘ny longer.” Joel’s breaths were heavy, his southern drawl exaggerated in his lust-filled state. 
A proud smirk laced on your lips, his eyes on you as he watched you pry down the material of his briefs, watching as he lightly lifted his hips off the stool and using the drafting table behind him as leverage to let his jeans and boxers rest comfortably around the top of his thighs. What you had been craving slapped eagerly into the palm of your uninjured hand, an unexpected little moan leaving you. 
You studied his cock with anticipation, the glowing pinkish-red tip glistening with pre-cum from all the anticipation. He was generous in size, he would be the biggest you had ever taken. He was just… grown. You let out a satisfied little mmm, smirking up at him as your fist wrapped delicately around the base as you pumped over just the bottom half of him. 
Your hand came up to push some hair behind your ear but Joel was quick to handle that for you, stroking the stray pieces back behind your ear and then planting his palm right on the top side of your head. He tried to guide you closer but you just continued to smirk at him, a desperate grunt leaving the back of his throat. 
“Don’t play with me, kitten.” The nickname had you fawning, much better than the other nickname he had given you in the past. Maybe this new one would replace the old, the girl he dismissed before now a woman whose attention he craved. 
You guided his tip to gently tap at your flattened tongue, using his base to guide him until you generously wrapped your mouth around his leaking head. He let out a satisfied hiss which made you smirk, knowing you were the one making him dance on the line between pain and pleasure. 
You let out an involuntary mewl as the fist he had made in the back of your hair forced you further down his rigid member, feeling wet tears threatening to spill over your waterline as his tip nudged against the back of your throat. He said not to play with him and you disobeyed. 
Your palms flattened to the front of his thighs as you pushed yourself off of him, gasping for air as you swallowed the mixture of your spit and his leakage that clogged your throat. 
“So fuckin’ pretty chokin’ on me like that, such a pretty face.” He sneered, referring to your teary eyes. But the compliment made you blush and the choking and sobbing was all of a sudden worth it for the praise. 
After that, you craved to take all of him just like he wanted. Your head worked in subtle bobs, taking inch by inch of him at a time. Sometimes his hand in your hair guided you, allowing you to take him with confidence as he let out disgusting groans and low moans. 
Your gluck, gluck, glucks filled the shed, hot pants leaving your mouth around him but not willing to let your head up. Trails of your saliva attached themselves from his balls to your lips, the sight being a trophy for your hard earned deep throating. He was already so close, you couldn’t bear not to taste the prize you had worked so hard for. 
All of a sudden, Joel stood up from his seat at the drafting table and you couldn’t help but show a look of disappointment. You thought he was done, going to leave you like a mess on the floor with bruises on your knees from the cold concrete and your slobbery mouth feeling his loss. 
Your wet eyelashes fluttered as he returned to fist the hair at the top of your head and angled your face upward, watching as his other hand yanked on his member. The sight made your jaw drop. 
“Where do you want me to finish?” His words were pained, stretched thin as he tried to hold out for an answer from you. But you wanted him to finish, you wanted to watch his face contort from the wake of his orgasm that you helped create. 
“Mmm,” you hummed out as you purposefully prolonged his finish, watching as his chest puffed and his skin grew rosy from the heat flooding his body. Your cockiness was punished by a tighter grip in your hair, yanking your head closer to his shaft to force a real answer out of you. Your scalp stung but only a smile was on your face. 
“You wanna cum on my face, Mr. Miller?” You asked in the most innocent tone you could muster, your mouth parting at the sight of him. He looked heavenly. The glow from his shed lights made him appear as if he had an angelic glow. But you knew he was hellish, nothing close to an angel. 
Joel let out a scoffy little grunt at your question, a wicked smile gracing his lips as his hooded eyes slowly fell completely closed as the shock of his orgasm coursed through his body. 
You eagerly watched and you hated how hungry you knew you looked right now. You licked your lips, eager for his taste, eager to make the Joel Miller cum. You were desperate. 
His cock began twitching in his hand, watching as he methodically yanked out his own orgasm. His eyes lazily glanced between his shaft and to your large eyes, slowly smirking at the sight of you holding out for him. 
“Let me see that tongue, darlin’.” His words were breathy, just on the edge of no return. You obeyed, dropping your jaw and flashing him your tongue as you fluttered your eyelashes. At the sight alone, he finished himself off with eager grunts and short moans, you swore one of them was your name. 
His hot cum landed on your face, your eyes closing in satisfaction with a cocky smile. Most landed on your tongue, a few piping hot white strands splattered like paint on your cheeks and nose. All the air in your lungs left you as he tapped his pulsing tip eagerly against your tongue, watching with his jaw slack as he let the rest pool onto your tongue and down your throat. 
You swallowed knowing he was watching, his hand in your hair relaxing. He tasted better than you expected, a new craving. 
Instead of fisting your strands, he started stroking them away from your messy face, praising you as he tucked himself back into his pants.
Both no longer in the hot fantasy you swore you imagined once, you tried to collect yourselves. You shakily stood up from the ground, your knees cold from the concrete. You wipe off any dust or dirt they may have collected, sneaking glances at Joel as he fastened his belt around his waist once more and popping the button of his jeans back into place. 
You glanced around for a tissue, your back to him as you cleaned up your face. Oh my god, you were wiping Joel Miller’s cum off your fucking face.  As the two of you pieced yourselves back together, he reached for his discarded flannel that he had given you still resting on the metal chair you previously abandoned before settling between his legs. 
“Said you were cold. Take it.” He said as he fisted some of the material and looked at you expectantly. You sighed before gently taking the material and wrapping yourself in its warmth. 
As he placed a bandaid on your palm to cover your futile wound, you admired the flannel in all of its unknown beauty. 
It was one of his older ones, you sort of felt bad because you could only assume it was one of his favorites. It adorned a few minor holes and rips, some of which were badly stitched back together in an attempt to salvage it for another few years. Despite its appearance, you melted into it because it smelled like him. It smelled smoky like his cigarettes or maybe that was just the residual smoke from the bonfire. As you walked outside, you could smell it clearer.
Sandalwood with a hint of cinnamon, you wondered what cologne he used. 
Your head was lost in thought as you began to wander back towards the bonfire, a sharp clearing of his throat bringing you back to your senses. You whipped around, seeing as he pointed to the stray wood you had dropped from earlier.
“Oh-” you said bashfully as you returned to the pile with him, both of you knelt down picking up stray pieces. Once you started piling the wood in your arms again, he let out a short chuckle from deep inside him as he held your wrist from stacking more. 
“That’s enough for now, just go.” You liked seeing his face lit up like that, knowing you were the cause of it being even better. 
“Okay, Mr. Miller.” You cooed quietly, his face hardening at the name of adoration you had given him. 
“Okay, Skids. I’ll be seein’ you.” He said with a tight nod of his head, his eyes directing you back to the fire. You set down the firewood by the rocks surrounding it as a barrier, clearing your throat as you returned to the tailgate. You could still taste his cum on your tongue. 
No one seemed to notice your trip taking unexpectedly longer than necessary. Your parents were both swaying their heads and laughing, empty bottles by the legs of their folding lawn chairs to explain their obvious lack of awareness. 
Sarah had joined up with other friends in your absence, but you didn’t mind. 
You finally had a moment to reflect on what had just taken place in Joel’s shed. You let your vacation house neighbor cum in your mouth. Your older, stoic, stubborn ass of a neighbor. 
As if on cue, Joel returned to the side of his truck with his body leaning against the tailgate. His jean-clad hip lightly grazed your thigh, glancing over to see him offering you a beer. 
“Since you’re all grown up now.” He said with a little spark behind his eyes. You nodded and took the opened beer with a growing smile. 
“Cheers.” He offered as he held out his bottle to clink with yours. 
“Cheers to another summer in Danbury.” You tell him. 
He cocked his eyebrow and glanced over to you one more time before he focused his eyes on the growing fire. 
“This one ain’t quite like the rest.” It almost sounded like a promise from him. You hoped it was. Because you were wearing his flannel and you were on his knees for him tonight, you wondered what experience of Joel could offer you this summer. 
---
read part 2 - dark paradise!
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