#and then i'll be weird with the boys <3< /div>
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ukulele tuning is confusing
ukulele tuning is confusing
ukulele tuning is confusing
ukulele tuning is confusing
#personal#soooo like i'm CONFUSED by this instrument buy i'mma learn you're beautiful on it by march 10th#and then i'll be weird with the boys <3#CMON this thing should be DGBE not GCEA#like as a bass player DGBE is wayyyy more sensical but... ummmm the one that's the fan gift is a concert uke
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swipes everything else off of the table to yell about diasomnia flower bookmarks
(I gave Silver one too :D)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#white rabbit festival#me: oh boy i wonder what excitement will happen in this new part#characters: now it is time to buy souvenirs :)#me: oh god#jk jk even when the filler is kind of painful i do enjoy the little character moments#like everyone screaming as loud as they can into silver's watch#deuce busting out his suzy izzard impression#SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!#and of course silver assigning flowers to the other dias and getting all sappy over lilia. god. delicious.#you don't understand this ten second long scene is everything to me#though we all know the real highlight#the knowledge that 1) deuce used to have an extremely silly edgy badass nickname#2) he almost certainly gave it to himself#3) he harassed epel's extended family to the point that they told horror stories about him and he was briefly epel's personal idol#epel: i heard he once killed three men with but a look#deuce: what no i never...i mean...ha ha sounds weird nothing a model student like me would know about#also deuce: if you fuckers don't apologize to my mom right now i'll fucking kill all of you (sees dilla) uhhh i mean#deuce: i challenge you to a children's game#black bunnies leader: (strapping on his duel disk) i accept#meanwhile silver is running full speed at a group of children screaming to them about donuts#we aren't going to talk about what ortho did with that fantasy-gregg's sausage roll#so glad that we've reached the 'what the heck is even happening' portion of the event#anyway i completely screwed up the resolution of these so here's hoping they don't look terrible!#whoops!
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Do you guys wanna see a thing I tried writing? It's pretty unfinished and I don't think I will finish it but it was fun to play with and it might be okay as a lil snippet! I also have like no energy for drawing right now but I wanna post something lol
(The context is Cross and Killer are alone on a mission in some unspecified au when Killer goes stage 3)
“Killer?”
Cross looked over when he got no response, half expecting Killer to have wandered off in some direction as he did on these longer jobs. His loyalty to Nightmare was often at war with his attention span in the field, and you could expect a job to take longer if it was anywhere a cat was liable to appear.
What he didn’t expect was to catch sight of Killer’s wildly fluctuating soul glinting in the reflection of the knife that was coming right for him.
Cross managed to lunge back just in time for the knife to arc downwards into the snow in his place. Its wielder slowly turned his head, tracking the path to where Cross was now. His empty eye sockets gushed with more ooze than usual, stare somehow colder than the ice he was now shaking from his blade.
“Killer…” Cross began, trying to keep his tone steady and authoritative like a warning. He was ever hopeful that this was some stupid game Killer was playing out of boredom, but that hope died as he watched some of the black goop begin to drip out of the corner of the other’s mouth.
That only happened when he went stage 3.
Shit.
Cross felt his soul drop. He’d never dealt with Killer like this alone, usually they handled him as a team if Nightmare wasn’t there to take over. In the time it would take him to look down at his phone to call for help there would probably be a knife in his head.
This was fine. He could handle it. He always had more training and stamina than Killer anyway, he just had to play keepaway with his life long enough to go home with it.
Killer teleported in front of him, something that caught Cross off guard. In his right mind, Killer almost never seemed to use his magic in fights unless he wanted to fuck around with the other.
[Put the fight part here idk pretend there was a really cool fight, it was so cool, you loved it]
Cross felt his soul drop again, but this time the rest of his body followed. Killer was using his gravity magic to hold him to the ground, and was shambling towards him ready to finish things. Cross struggled for a moment to see if he could fight his way out of the magic’s hold, but to no avail. He was pinned as his assailant now stood threateningly over him, knife raised. In a flash of desperation, he reached out both hands and grabbed Killer’s ankles, quickly moving his head to one side as a bone attack pierced up out of the snow and struck the other in the jaw.
It wasn’t his strongest attack, but it was enough to knock Killer backwards and stun him. As Cross felt his soul being released from the other’s magic, he quickly scrambled forward and sat on Killer’s chest as he lay sprawled out in the snow, pinning his arms down on either side of his head as he began to come back around. His face was leaking so much determination from every crevice that at that point it was hard to make out an expression under it all, but Cross could tell he was frustrated as he felt the rumble of bone attacks beginning to rise up out of the snow around them.
He followed suit, carefully forming a line of his own bone attacks closely around them to act as a barrier. He could feel Killer’s attacks bouncing off of his, each hit more desperate and frantic than the last like an animal clawing at the sides of its cage. He felt some magic encircling his soul again, but this time trying to raise him up rather than push him down. It was weaker than before, whether because Killer’s attention was split with still launching bone attacks or because he was beginning to tire out, but Cross managed to fight against it and stay put.
“Killer!” he barked, leaning over the other’s face. “That’s enough. You’re not going anywhere until you pull yourself together!”
The gravity magic seemed to cease at his shout, so Cross continued in the fervent hope that he was getting through to him.
“We’ll stay here all night if that’s what it takes, but I’m reporting back to Nightmare when this is over and I’m not leaving without you! Do you hear me?! I don’t care if I have to bring you back hogtied over my shoulder, I’m not gonna hurt you and I’m not gonna let you kill me!”
He didn’t realise he’d been shouting until the clinking and scraping of bone attacks had slowed and stopped altogether, and it was just the sound of his promise echoing off the bones and snow surrounding them.
And the strange gurgling sound coming from below him.
He opened his eyes again in confusion and stared down at the skeleton weakly fighting against his grasp, determination pooling and soaking into the snow from every gap in his skull. It took a second longer than he’d like to admit for Cross to realise that sound was Killer choking on it.
His bone attacks shrunk back into the ground and he shot backwards, landing ungracefully on his backside with a little curse. He hurried to pull Killer up and help him lean forward, swatting his back as he retched and spat the toxic goop up onto the ground where they’d just fought.
It was never an elegant dismount from these things, they’d found there was just no dignified way to get out a ribcage worth of black ooze. After a minute of heaving and gasping, Killer finally got a hold of himself and started glancing frantically around.
“Where’s Dust??” he managed to choke out with the urgency of a parent who’d lost their child. It always seemed to be the first thing on his mind when he came to from one of these episodes, Cross was never really sure why since any other time it seemed like they hated each other.
“He’s at home,” Cross assured, pressing one hand to Killer’s spine for support. “It’s just us, we were on a mission.”
He could see now that Killer’s soul had calmed down from the pulsating mass of spikes it was a few minutes ago and become somewhat soul shaped, still twitching nervously but a far calmer sight than before. That was a good sign that the attack was over. He wondered how much control Killer had over it, since he’d definitely seen it turn that way without having to go through a fight to the death first, but it was rare.
Cross flinched as he felt Killer grab him again, though this time instead of kicking him in the ribs he simply held on for dear life. That was another clear sign, after he was done puking up whatever goop had built up he usually cried for a while.
It was odd, especially the first few times, to see someone who always seemed so disconnected and unphased have a sobbing breakdown after trying to kill you.
“Hey,” Cross said, voice hushed as he wrapped his arms around the skeleton trembling in his lap. “It’s okay… you’re okay…”
Cross had never been the best at comforting words, but he knew Killer just needed someone to cling to while he got a hold of himself, and he was content to be that for a little while. Especially after being thrown around so much, his aching bones were more than happy for an excuse to sit in the snow for a bit. He could feel Killer’s soul being pressed against his chest as he wept silently into Cross’s shoulder, the fear and regret seemed to be radiating from it like smoke from a smothered flame.
He wondered idly if this was what Nightmare could feel all the time.
...
He also wondered just how hard it was going to be to get these black stains out of his jacket again once he pried Killer's face off of it.
#UTDR#UTMV#Cross Sans#Killer Sans#I don't think I need a writing tag cause I don't think I'll do it a whole lot#I also don't have a name for this or anything it was just kinda for funsies#I think the original plan was to have it be like. seeing the whole process of Killer's stage 3 attacks through Cross#And like my hcs on how it goes#And there's still some of that in there like him having extra goop during it and being super guilty and emotional afterwards#But also I got lazy with the rest lol#I don't think it's too bad but writing still feels weird to me cause I don't do it that much#Working on a different writy boy that I'm passionate about though so maybe hopefully there will be more! :D#Killer and Cross won't be in it though. sorry lads#Oh shit I need to wash my hair for work actually okay see you in a bit!!
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hello, id like to request if you have the chibis for obscuary! theyve been on my mind so much omg
hello!! sorry for the late reply, I don't really understand tumblr so I'm rarely active here😭
anyway, the chibi for obscuary hasn't been implemented in the game yet, so i currently dont have it</3
as you can see, they're still censored in the game itself😭 i think they'll be available by the time we can pick lyca and ed at the start of the game! when that time comes, I'll post them:)
in the meantime, you can see them (although in bad quality) here♡ I'll go check the files if the other obscuary chibis are available in the game
#the last time i checked the obscuary boys aren't in the game files yet#but I'll check again now if there's anything new!#if you guys have any request or just want to talk my asks and dm are open<3#although for some reason i never got any notification for tumblr.. weird.. is it because i rarely use it??#anyway I'll update the chibis when they're available! thanks for the ask anon!!#tokyo debunker
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Rosawatts, from memory (Patreon)
#Doodles#To The Moon#Neil Watts#Eva Rosaline#They ✨#I ended up making the To The Moon series of games my over-breakfast show for a while haha#I got through them all surprisingly fast! It's amazing what a bit of breakfast does for the focus haha#I had ideas for them but then I got distracted! Damn! Another time#Still gonna talk about 'em tho lol <3#Mostly Neil-related honestly haha - a big long silly joke that takes so much context pfft#So that one trope of self-aware anime protagonists - either the type to try to hide the specific thing that makes them The Chosen One#Or changing themselves into The Chosen One by adopting a feature that points to it - think dying hair#Born with weird hair? Protagonist - cover that up and become a normie; and it's inverse!#And then y'know the trope of the white-haired anime boy? The Redshirt of anime? Lol#I just love the idea of Neil being ''born with white hair'' and dying it his normal brown and confessing to Eva#And her countering back with ''Thank goodness you don't have white hair I never would've accepted your confession if The Tragedy''#While Neil is just Sweating lol#It's funnier in images gah I'll get to it someday!#For now I'm just happy to have added them to my list <3 I do love them hehe#I enjoyed Imposter Factory so much! The montage at the end had such beautiful pixel animation#And even seeing a simulacrum of them happy makes me happy <3 Bittersweet like the rest of the series :)#Good lads <3
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Tuxiedo not wanting to be around me rn rlly killed my mood 😞😞
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#I'll yap as I play book 3 tomorrow or smth#my ass is NOT up for that rn#unfortunately.....#I WAS SO EXCITED TO YAP BUT NOW MY MOOD ISN'T LETTING ME#not waking up to him by my feet was weird#I miss him sm but be seemingly doesn't want anything to do with me#I was so excited to come back and sleep with my boy again 😞😞
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lol I get really really annoyed by the fucking K.y.lo fans because a lot of the time it would be a different movie (Like 65 for example) and they would be "Oh it's just ben solo! He didn't die!" or "this is kylocoded etc" They do shit like that with Jude, Mills, Phillip, and Charlie (probably AD other characters too) and can you just fucking not? NONE OF THEM ARE THE SAME PERSONALITY WISE, like NONE of them!!!!
Just because it's the same actor it isn't the same fucking character, they're all very very different characters and it just makes me sad and irritated if I'm being honest..
#I dunno why it just bugs me a lot- Like they're their own characters...They're trying to bunch up all the characters into ONE character even#though they're all so different from one another- It really gets on my nerves. :/ Like treat the other boys better... Oh well.. I guess#if no one else will treat the boys better I'll just have to do it! <3#Like I love and adore my husband hands down but I don't appreciate people trying to turn him into a collective of all the other AD charas#ah I'm ranting sorry :c#Probably a weird thing to get irritated by but here we are. I have taken the time to know each character and you can clearly tell others wh#do this have no seen the other movies except sw :/#vent.tw
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i miss u paddy o'gara
#im on vacation w my family for my birthday rn but i have so many replies done in my drafts#i'll probably dump them all as soon as i get home tomorrow <3#know i am thinking about paddy tho#saw a gifset. that's my boy#adding paddy to my multi just to write weird psychosexual jamiepaddy with myself#(that is a joke but. just a little bit)
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When Kaguya first wakes up, all the world bends to her will for one, glorious moment. The stars stand breathless, and humanity's collective breath hitches, and the waters of the planet curl towards her. For a fraction of a second, everything is as it should be.
It all falls apart rather quickly, of course. Humans are exactly as she remembers them- stubborn, haughty creatures. There are five of them still awake when Kaguya arrives. They fight and they fight and they fight, and it is pointless, of course, but it is still... irritating.
Well. Four of them fight. As Kaguya deflects a punch from a pink one and dodges a bolt of lighting from an Uchiha, the fifth human stands back, still enraptured by Kaguya.
Her face hangs- not slack, not unwilling- it is no forceful awe that overtakes the human. She gazes at Kaguya with adoration on purpose- she takes a slow step in the direction of the fight, eyes fixed on Kaguya, and-
She can use this.
"If you wish to join me," Kaguya says, her voice echoing over packed dirt and scorched sky. "You must be willing to fight my battles."
A small smirk graces the corner of the human's lips. "As you wish."
"What?" the other Uchiha says, whipping his head around to stare at the fifth human in disbelief. "Rin, no, she's trying to take over the world- she's going to kill everyone Rin, you won't achieve your dream like this!"
"Didn't you ever stop to wonder for one moment what my dream was?" Rin snarls, her red eye spinning into its Mangekyō form. "Obito, I may as well be in the genjutsu with everyone else right now. This is what I've always wanted."
Obito's singular sharingan narrows in either grief or anger- Kaguya doesn't have the chance to discern which it is before Rin leaps at him, water dancing at her fingertips. It aids her movements, flows with her hits, and as she dances in and out of reality she pulls the water within Obito's veins. He chokes, over and over and over, trying to fight two enemies at once, neither tangible, and Rin finishes the fight.
Kaguya kills two of the human children- the yellow one makes his escape before she can catch him.
"He'll be heading to Konoha," Rin tells her, stepping away from Obito's body. "If he can wake up the people there... it'd be annoying for you."
"Noted," Kaguya says. "We will peruse him immediately."
Rin looks up at her like she's the sun and the stars and the rest of the sky all wrapped up together. She looks at Kaguya like she's more than just an invader from the moon. She does not respect Kaguya because she fears her. She loves Kaguya because, for some ineffable reason, she chooses to.
Kaguya will use that.
-
Rin looks beautiful when her hands are stained in blood.
The thought surprises Kaguya, for a split second, but she pushes the feeling down, because of course it is beautiful. The blood represents another step taken towards her goals. When she sees the glistening red coat Rin's fists, highlighting every vein and scar, her heart beats faster. Rin turns to Kaguya, thick muscle evident in the motion, and meets her eyes. The mismatched scarlet and brown-
Kaguya turns away, and to her horror, feels a slight blush creeping across her face. The blood is beautiful, and her conquest is beautiful, but... From the corner of her eye, she sees Rin's face crinkle happily, and she has a sudden urge to grab it.
"Are you done?" Kaguya says, doing her best to swallow the... sudden realizations she has made.
"He doesn't have any blood left to bleed," Rin says, grinning like a shark.
"Good," Kaguya says. "Good."
Rin rolls her shoulders, and then lets her sharingan fade back to its base state. Kaguya cannot help but record every detail of the half-shrug to her perfect memory. All of a sudden, she is as enraptured with Rin as Rin is with her. Well- not suddenly. The more Kaguya reflects over the past weeks she has spent with her, the more she realizes that this affection has been building for a very, very long time.
"...you love me," Kaguya says, just as Rin is turning to leave, to hunt down the next of the scant individuals who managed to escape the infinite tsukuyomi. Her voice does not echo over the land like it usually does. She cannot bare to let it. The moment is too intimate to be used for intimidation.
"I do," Rin says. Her eyes search Kaguya's face.
"And I believe that I have come to love you," Kaguya whispers.
"Well, of course," Rin says, like she knew this would happen from the very moment she laid eyes on Kaguya. "I am the moth to your moon."
"My moth..." Kaguya says.
Rin tenderly moves to her, embraces her, and their lips meet, and-
-
Kaguya glances at her moth. Rin is holding her head high, eyes alight with the reflection of distant fire.
Rin stares and stares and stares, her eyes empty behind the carnage. Sometimes, Kaguya wonders if there is anything behind Rin's easy air of romance and violence.
All they have left is quiet moments together. The world has burned and bled, and she and her moth sit atop the ashes of it all, together.
In these quiet moments, Kaguya has come to appreciate how empty Rin is. She wears a mask of a moth, and Kaguya doesn't think she even knows who she is underneath the mask.
Oddly, Kaguya finds herself drawn to the Rin she has not seen. She wants to gently peel the masks off until she finds the wraith of Rin who doesn't pretend to be anyone. It's an odd feeling, but not more unfamiliar than any of the attraction Kaguya has been experiencing lately.
Rin turns to Kaguya, and something slides over her eyes, and her face sharpens into something hard and beautiful- like carved, painted wood, she smiles. That's beautiful, too, but there's something intrinsically wrong with it. Kaguya almost likes the blank stares better.
"Does something trouble you, my moon?" Rin asks softly.
The pet name sends shivers up Kaguya's spine. "...nothing that needs to be addressed now."
Rin raises an eyebrow, but Kaguya shakes her head gently. "We have all the time in the world, now. Let's just watch the fields burn, for now."
Rin relaxes, and the mask comes off, and Kaguya stares at every curve of her impassive face, her hooded eyes, and slightly parted lips, and burns it into her perfect memory.
#au of an au where rin and kaguya win and its just the two of them. forevvvver#in a world full of sleeping and then dead people. lol.#also i dont know what happens in boruto dont tell me. unless rin shows up. i need to be notified of my girls appearances.#as always kaguya pov of the kagurin pipeline goes#1- “haha wow this guys in love with me thats so weird. well whatever i'll just use her.”#2- “ohhh haha she's kind cute. messed up but in a hot way. ummmm maybe we should kiss a little about it.”#3- “wow i think i actually love her thats so weird. also i think there is something deeply wrong with her on a fundamental level.”#which is just. SO FUNNY. meanwhile rin is on a constant “well i love space adn she's from space so i must love her”#and then bases her undying loyalty on that. girl your unresolved childhood identity issues are showing#nohara rin#naruto shippuden#kagurin#tw violence#sorry its just the dynamic of kaguya murdering the entire world and then turning to rin and going “are you empty inside :C”#“how can i teach you to be a person. i want you to be happy like im happy.”#healing arc time boys!!!! dont worry about the corpses those are just. they're not the thing thats wrong#horrific! unrelated to 90% of rins issues#EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR INCREDIBLY EVIL YURI!!!!
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What’s a movie that changed the way u looked at things
bestie i am unfortunately not a huge movie watcher n 90% of the time i recall zero (0) details after watching one 😔😔 but i think i would say my neighbour totoro & barbie and the magic of pegasus <3
#just every movie i watched in my childhood has a special place in my heart <3#speaking of movies !!!!#i went to watch smile 2 today n ummm it was absolutely terrifying i kept my eyes closed for half the movie#but the movie was also saur bad??? the ending was so weird and confusing n the genral storyline of it was so boring too#the only entertainment were those 5 boys sitting beneath us who would sometimes comment something funny n make me giggle#anywayyyy i hope i'll be able to sleep tonight <3#my friends said the movie wasn't scary at all but i think they're all psychopaths <3#darly asks#anon
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'I'll make sure nothing gets in my way. '
#kageyama shigeo#shigeo kageyama#mob#???%#mob psycho 100#mp100#mob psycho season 3#my boy finally went psycho#only 2 weeks are left for the show to end#i'll miss it :d#also how do you guys say ???% name?#i just think of 3 boom sounds#idk why xd#also i know the hand looks weird#i tried okay#digital art#ibispaint#art#:D
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໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -。꒱ྀི১ sigh... brain = extra mushy today
#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!#im so sorry for not sayin good mornie to you all! :< i woke up w a bad case of stressed brain & im training a new guy a wrk ://#BUT!! im goin to my boyfies after wrk & he got me lil frozen eclairs bc im havin such a weird day ૮꒰ྀི ෆᵒ̴̶̷꒳ᵒ̴̶̷ෆ ꒱ྀིა he is!! so sweet!!#& im pickin up a movie i put on hold at the library to watch w him :3 but i bet we'll probs watch more bllk hehee ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა#i wanted to watch it last night w him but i was v sad & he said 'ik ep 8 means a lot to you so when you're feelin ok we'll watch it!'#BC EP 8 IS WHEN YOU MEET!!!! LOVER BOY!!!! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა and i wanna be okie so i can SQUEAK & SQUEEL!!!!!!#i'll pop in a lil later before i hit the hay to wish you all a v restful sleep!! ☆૮꒰ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ。꒱ა def gotta give my loves g'nite smoochies!!
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the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)
#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good#i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same#so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL#they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers#i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie#I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs#while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL#the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much#of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time#the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute#i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great#weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable#i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like#coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much#and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared#i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so#real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared#it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of#hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3#loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute#altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd#anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited#it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered#i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing#oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME
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my problematic gender truth is that i actually feel no attachment to either of the two binary gender constructs. it just like. makes no sense to me. i've got my own unrelated thing going on. but in the absence of connection to either choice i really do find it more convenient to cosplay closer to the one that people treat like a human being
#have never liked being a girl. but that's not really out of like. any kind of desperation to be anything else.#i don't care about being a man literally at all in fact the idea is kind of uncomfortable to me. cause i'm not a man#but being perceived as a woman is such orders of magnitude worse...#testosterone is awesome cause transsexuality is so fucking hot no matter what#but like. dysphoria is so fucking weird when there's not even rll anything i'm trying to pass as. i complain ab not passing but i'm not#like. putting my all into it. i go out looking like i do and i know i'm not reading Man i don't give a fuck.#but yet... holding myself back from fun makeup looks... from skirts even... cause knowing that someone sees me as a woman is Awful#like. dehumanizing even. viscerally uncomfortable.#idk. for me it connects to a lack of respect. girls will treat me nice no matter what and i don't think i read as a girl To Girls#vague gay person energy that just makes them say 'slay' around me too much. so not a Boy to them but i'll play gbf whatevs whatevs#starting a conversation with a man and being able to immediately tell that they see me as a woman fucking Sucks though.#many people are normal and so this is not an issue <3 and even if they don't see me as a man it's like whatever <3#but many people. well.#I Can Tell You Don't Respect Me. Could You Treat Me Like A Tranny At Least#disgust would be better honestly. long sigh though#every trans person i meet says i pass like hell. cis people continue to be blind and fucking stupid though#i read as a boy to ai now lmao i get the boy results on filters. so it's something wrong with the real life cissies i think#valentine notes
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He is growling as soon as he notices the other reaching toward him (and the item he stole).
#( open for interactions ; open starter. )#( * s. vorez / lurking in the shadows of the wood. )#he has stolen some sort of comfort item (stuffed animal blanket or otherwise)#this would be less weird if he was a werewolf but ya know <3#i'll write a one for him as a werewolf later just ... have the dumb wolf boy stealing from u
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Told my religious trauma coach that my gender is "a 1930's orphan boy selling newspapers" I think I might have to go back to Jesus after this one lads
#/j#We had a good talk about how christianity doesn't have genders it has jobs#And how I wanted agency but feel like I have to fully be a Man to avoid being punished by the current legislature being passed#I feel more dysphoric and part of it stems from feeling like I'm being observed again like I was as a little girl#Being told that people would be looking at my body and it was my job to make it acceptable to others#Now I'm transmasc so there's a weird pressure to become Manly Man Now or else I'll be stuck#Maybe I can relax but first I need top surgery and 3 years of T (i'm at 2.5 years and have a consultation call)#Then I can enjoy gender. Then Im free#But I can't because I'm not a man either. Ill feel better with top surgery and whatnot but I don't feel solidly male#Ill just be restraining myself and observed from the other side#Anyways I was saying I wanted my gender to be personal and abstract#but I used this phrase as an example and think this might be it I'm gonna have to give up my other 5 sessions /j#I called myself a golden retriever and a newspaper orphan boy I can never show my face again#ex christian#religious trauma
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