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#and then i am compelled to write words and such.
thefrogman · 2 days
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Back in the olden days, if you used the "keep reading" function on a Tumblr-dot-com post, it would
not get very many notes.
At all.
I am not sure exactly why.
I think people hated pressing an extra thing.
But maybe it was also a psychological phenomenon where, given the choice, they were unwilling to trust me with their time.
But if I sucked them in with a good story or a compelling image, they would get serious FOMO.
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When I created a super high effort post-of-length I would get comments like, "This was way too long but before I realized it I was reading the last sentence."
That was a really good feeling.
I used to do tests to figure out the best posting strategies and I think I figured out you'd lose about 90% of your notes if you did a "keep reading" post.
So that notion was ingrained in my brain again and again from when I was very note-obsessed and I have since avoided the "keep reading" option almost like a conditioned response.
Just seeing that squiggly line appear still induces a Pavlovian fear.
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But that was probably a decade ago and I did a new experiment. My story about replacing my mailbox did reasonably well with a strategically clickbaity "keep reading."
This was a promising result due to the fact that some people like to send me hate for writing a lengthy post.
I recently got a death threat for writing too much, which was a fun reminder of my M&M days (I melted men's rights activists' brains with a poorly worded analogy and they launched a years long harassment campaign).
It seems in present-era-Tumblr-dot-com many more people prefer pressing an extra thing rather than scrolling a bunch on their smartphone. The collective behavior has changed. And maybe I don't need to use tricks and running gags in order to get folks to "keep reading".
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Unfortunately I started writing that ring light post a few months ago so I wasn't able to include that in the experiment. But I am going to try using the keep reading function in the future and as long as the average number of folks that usually read my longer posts continue to read my posts, that will be the standard approach.
I also tag these posts with "long post" so you can flag that if you wish.
While I am no longer in the audience-building phase of my Tumblr career, these essays and stories and educational posts take a considerable amount of time and effort to create, so I do want to make sure everyone who wants to read them is able to. But posts without hearts and reblogs can quickly die a gruesome algorithmic death. Even my most ardent followers would tell me things were not showing up on their dash. (I think replies help mitigate that, so if you like a long post, you can help with engagement.)
The collective noun is a "business" of ferrets.
Do you want to see a business of ferrets ready to do some business?
KEEP READING
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I love writing and it is a huge catharsis for me. And I love sharing any knowledge I feel like I have the earned expertise to speak on with authority (technology, photography, light, fun ferret facts, etc). I wish I had the energy to be a photography teacher, but long posts on Tumblr are probably the best I can do for now.
I know my posts are super long, but I try to make them as fun and informationally dense as I possibly can. I don't like wasting people's time if I can avoid it. Though maybe I should trust my follower's attention span a bit more. I have this fear that if I am not constantly entertaining, people will click away or unfollow.
I think a good business for a business of ferrets would be selling pool noodles that look like ferrets.
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So as long as I get roughly the same amount of notes I will do the keep reading. And then maybe people can lay off on the mean comments and occasional requests to end my own life because I bloviated about soft light.
100% true ferret fact..
If you ask a ferret what their business is, they will crawl on your shoulder and whisper in your ear...
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muchanmocha · 2 days
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Round 7 (and beyond)
I never intended on releasing a prediction post bc Team Vivinos is capable of excellent plot twists and there wasn't enough to go on imo to really have any solid guesses. But the recently released teaser gave me enough confidence in my current theories to put this out there. (Apologies if it's incoherent bc I'm basically just reposting a discord spiel I gave to an unfortunate friend a while ago lol.)
In sum:
Luka will be the winner of season 50 but Till won't die.
Bonus half-crack prediction:
Luka will win against Till, but Till won't die and Hyuna crashes the party to win season 50.
I can't recall the source but I believe Team Vivinos has mentioned that we're entering the main plot/part 2 of the story. Everything in this post is formulated based on this premise.
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The artbook synopsis also seems to back up the claim that a bigger plot is coming.
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Luka wins
Fairly sure Luka will win because that's his role. He is the epitome of this system. He is the symbol of Alien Stage. He cannot fall this easily.
Him maintaining his position at the top means he and the segyein enter part 2 with a strong presence.
Alien Stage may be fractured — 2 current participants have escaped to the rebels alive — but the system is still standing. It's scandalous, sure, but they have a winner and they will eventually go on to have Season 51.
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Till survives
Till won't die because that's just weak sauce writing, plot, and character and we know Team Vivinos isn't capable of weak sauce writing, plot, and character.
Fact of the matter is, if Till dies in the next round he and his personal story will forever be overshadowed by Ivan's.
The climax of Round 6, Ivan's narrative and ending, it was executed so goddamn well. It was compelling. It was incredible. We are still not over it. And so—
There is nothing Till can do in the space of one episode ending in his death that can overpower Ivan's momentum from the previous episode. (Ofc everything in this series was somehow packed into 4 minute spurts that leave us emotionally wrecked so I am fully prepared to eat my words)
If Till dies here, regardless of what he does on stage before it happens, Till will be reduced to "the character who dies of guilt and regret after being the subject of someone else's obsessive love and sacrifice." He'll end up a passive player in his own story.
But if Till survives:
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Till from here on out
Imo it would be FAR more interesting to see where his feelings and relationship with Mizi develops and shifts from here because Ivan has effectively tainted his idea of love.
Why do I say this?
Well Till's love for Mizi is... very innocent, very pure, very "first love"y. It's all things naive and fantastical and shoujo manga heart-shaped bubbles.
Meanwhile Ivan's love for Till is dark and gritty. It's obsessive. It's all things murky and ugly (I mean it in the best of ways don't come at me with your pitchforks) — the complete opposite of Till's impression of love.
Which makes it all the more impactful when Ivan forces Till to come face to face (literally) with that deep, obssessive love in Round 6 with his last moments.
After this incredibly traumatic eye-opener — an intimate, violent look into a different kind of love — I don't think Till can look at Mizi the same way again. (No not because he does or should be obligated to return Ivan's feelings, and that's a hill I'll die on regardless of pitchforks. If Till develops feelings for Ivan it should be on his own terms. If Till falls out of love with Mizi that should also be on his own terms.)
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Hyuna wins Season 50 (jk)
Look it'll be funny.
Luka facing off against Till and then Hyuna crash the party, stomps him (vocally), effectively wins Season 50, and then yeets with Till and Mizi — one over each shoulder, hauled like sandbags.
(In all seriousness tho, not a very high chance of happening. They clearly have a lot of issues to sort out that'll prob happen later in part 2.)
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"Never come back again"
The whole reason why this post is up. The caption for the new promo art gives me more confidence in the theory that everyone leaves except Luka.
'Never come back again.' I feel like there's a good chance this is Luka saying or thinking this to Hyuna (and co). If indeed it is, there's a lot to unpack there.
Tl;dr
Hyuna and Mizi busts Till outta there, Luka is left utterly alone seated on the throne again, Sua and Ivan eventually come back wrong to wreck emotional havoc as zombie androids
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billsbabydoll · 11 hours
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“𝒾𝓂 ℴ𝓊𝓉 ℴ𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝒽ℯ𝒶𝒹, 𝓉ℴ𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉.”
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contains:LIGHT HORROR+LIGHT SMUT<3
summary:while on a late night walk back home after the club, i find myself suddenly hearing the sweet melody of an alluring voice luring me into the depths of a hidden alleyway.
WARNINGS:vampire!bill, drunk-curious!reader, eerie setting, pet-names, kissing, make-out session, dry-humping, trippy hallucinations.
notes:ive been in the fall/spooky mood lately, so i wanted to switch it uppp.this is my second attempt at writing this since tumblr deleted my entire progress yesterday ^_^.
god i shouldnt have drank all off those margaritas, in the club obviously they were fun but as im stumbling trying to figure my way home im regretting ever stepping foot into that place.
the night was dimly lit from the moonlight shining above, the wind was cool sure to make anyone shiver, the quiet sound of leaves ruffling were audible in the background.
i crossed my arms over my chest rapidly rubbing my skin trying to create any type of warmth, i hazily looked around in search of any indication of where i could be, only find myself lost with my destination home nowhere in sight.
defeated, i take a few more steps before sitting against a brick wall, taking a deep breath trying come up with some kind of solution.
"maybe i could call someone for a ride?"i thought to myself, quickly pulling the strap of my purse off of my shoulder and placing my bag into my lap.i dig around inside before excitedly pulling out my nokia 2780, opening it to only to find it completely dead.
i dont know what to do at this point, i dont know where i am, i dont even know what time it is, im freezing to death, im drunk as fucking skunk-
“come here baby..”a deep voice suddenly whispered within the shadows.
i frantically look around trying match the voice to something or someone, only to see the empty road ahead and not a single soul in sight.i slowly stand up from my position on the concrete floor, then anxiously turn the corner walking into a blood-curdling alleyway.
i continue walking deeper into this horrific darkness stopping dead in my tracks when i, not even in a blink of an eye see a tall figure appear in the middle of the path, its red glowing eyes piercing into my own.
“dont be scared, i wont hurt you.”he cooed, magically teleporting right infront of me.
his features were otherworldly, his gaze captivating and hypnotizing, his makeup dark, his skin pale as snow.
he was supernaturally beautiful.
“w-what are y-you?”i muttered, rapidly blinking my eyes trying to figure out if i was just imagining this or if this was real life.
“dont worry about that, for now-”
he paused taking a step closer, his face now not even an inch away from my own, his icy-hands interlinking with my own, his thumb grazing over my warm-blooded skin.
“kiss me doll.”
he then leans in capturing my lips into a hungry kiss, he lets go of my hands now pulling me into his tight grasp before slamming me against a nearby wall.i moan into his mouth, his simple words and beauty trapping me in a hypnosis.
i take the opportunity to tangle my arms around his neck, taking in the unusual metallic taste of his feverish lips, his tongue aggressively raveling with my own, his flavor so addicting and irresistibley delicious.
he begins to repeatedly ram his hips into my own, seeking any sort of relief from the tension bulging through his pants, his clothed cock grinding against my tender pussy.
we continue indulging in eachothers lust, he had enchanted me with the most powerful spell but i was too compelled to snap out of it, utterly drowning in his trickery.
he abruptly slows down giving me one last gentle peck before slightly pulling away, his eyes staring into my soul, he wasnt breathing, he didnt even blink once.
i gasp awake, jumping up from my bed, drenched in sweat, still dressed in my clothes from the club and-
a throbbing ache in neck…
THE END.
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hey fam, my spreadsheet is FINALLY up to date so i am FINALLY getting back to the monthly rec lists! here's the cream of the crop from June :)
as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.
that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes and as such, is incredibly subjective.
you can find past recs below:
February March April May
and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.
without further ado, let's go!
Bring Your Hunger by HigherMagic
Word Count: 22748 Summary: Having two Alphas is practically unheard of. Having three is damn near impossible. Having three like Hannibal, Duncan, and Nigel? All of them not only content to share, but genuinely enjoying each other's company? Well, Will doesn't believe in fate so much as luck, and he's more than willing to admit he's the luckiest Omega in the world.
Show, Don't Tell by StratsWrites, whiskeyandspite
Word Count: 3680 Summary: “The bedroom,” Hannibal murmured. “Do you have the patience to get there?” In answer, Hannibal gripped the backs of Will’s thighs and hoisted him up, settling him onto the kitchen island. After the fall... Will makes Hannibal wait. Just... to see what he would do.
I will read anything where Will purposefully drives Hannibal out of his mind.
to lie in wait for blood by its_the_ratdawg
Word Count: 1907 Summary: They had been sharing a bed since their first night on the run, ever since Will had climbed into bed next to Hannibal and curled around his broken body. In nearly a year that had passed since then, they’d always slept together unless they were enduring the climax of a particularly nasty fight. It had only happened three times. Tonight had nearly been the fourth. Hannibal laid there feeling as awake as he had ever been. Even with a fire built in the wood stove, the bed seemed cold with Will tucked stubbornly against the far side of the mattress, stoic as the cross on the wall above the bed. The pale moonlight streaming in through the window only made the illusion more severe. Just as Hannibal was considering drugging himself to sleep, Will shifted and his breath hitched. Hannibal waited for the rhythm of his breath to resume the slow, sleeping pace he was used to. He nearly jumped when instead he felt Will reach for him, his hand finding Hannibal’s waist. Wordlessly Will pulled Hannibal against him the way a bear might drag its prey to it with a single paw.
Somnophilia is really my thing and I loved this.
Batter My Heart by amarriageoftrueminds
Word Count: 2351 Summary: Hannibal/Will, Hannibal tricks Will into talking dirty. Will has trouble switching off. Hannibal doesn’t mind, and encourages Will to continue their conversations about serial killers while they’re having sex. About one serial killer in particular.
Fuck me, this was so hot.
Blaze by HotMolasses
Word Count: 3008 Summary: The thought slipped from his mind as a warm tingle spread across his skin. Will inhaled again, deeply, and the scent was so good, so very, very good. A soft moan even escaped his lips before he realized what he was scenting, though it wasn’t until he heard the feral, bestial growl in front of him that his brain finally made the full connection, and his eyes flew open in terror. Rut. Hannibal had indeed lost his control. Will’s eyes snapped up to Hannibal’s and he saw them dilating. Will’s throat grew dry and his heart leapt with fear. The Chesapeake Ripper was in rut, and it was because of him.
This author could write anything and I'd eat it up.
A Rising Tide by gleamingwholeanddeadly
Word Count: 3255 Summary: Sleepy, nostalgic talks in a bedroom the same colour as the ocean. Hannibal reflects on how close he feels to Will. Will wouldn't mind getting even closer. OR: Cuddles, unnecessarily florid banter, and graphic morning sex.
Oh I love this author so fucking much.
no amount of crying i can do for you by abbmyg
Word Count: 3763 Summary: Will is driving from Quantico to Hannibal's house in the middle of a blizzard. He never makes it home.
Umm, I'm tearing up thinking about this fic. It hurt. A lot.
i bet on losing dogs (you're my baby) by antiheroblake
Word Count: 2822 Summary: now, all hannibal has is winston
This made me sob. It hurt.
The most dangerous injuries don't leave scars by CulterVenatorius
Word Count: 909 Summary: When Hannibal hadn’t told Will about the encephalitis, thus preventing immediate treatment, he’d been more than aware of the possible outcomes. What he hadn’t been prepared for was that Will might change him and that one day, he might come to regret his decisions.
Ow ow ow ow OW.
Love Letters by Thiefbird
Word Count: 2039 Summary: After Will's funeral, Molly finds a box filled with relics from his past, and confronts the truth of her husband's history with Dr Lecter
WHUMP. This one hurt. In a good way.
Wrong by HotMolasses
Word Count: 4257 Summary: Will roughly rubbed his arm across his mouth again, trying to rub it off. Rub off the scent of Alana, after they’d kissed. After she’d kissed him. Or he’d kissed her? It was mutual. Until it wasn’t. Until Will breathed in her scent, so familiar, so Alpha, so…wrong. He’d pulled back forcibly, unable to hide the expression of revulsion on his face. “I…I need to go.” he said, sweeping his coat off the back of a chair on his way towards the door. “Lock up when you leave.” The weather was crap, and it probably wasn’t smart to drive in the snow while he was in pre-heat, but Will didn’t know what else to do. He needed to figure this out, he needed to talk to the only person who understood him. He needed to talk to Hannibal.
Another damn good reread.
Quid Pro Quo (Just friends helping friends) by QueerCannibal
Word Count: 4840 Summary: Will Graham isn't exactly going to therapy, and Hannibal Lecter isn't exactly his psychiatrist, which is probably why when their conversations turn to unorthodox topics neither of them are entirely guilty about it. Will Graham is stressed, and Hannibal Lecter--as Will's friend--wants nothing more than to help.
ACE HANNIBAL AND TRANS WILL. We love the representation.
a slick delicate sound by destroyedspectacularly
Word Count: 4345 Summary: Hannibal catches Will with one of his students (Matthew Brown) in his office, and takes the opportunity the stupid boy left behind, and finds out some fun new things about one Will Graham in the process. -- “Were you hoping he’d cross the line on his own? Do all the work for you?” “Well, he’s a good student. I know he’d love to do all the work,” Will shut his eyes in shame before he even finished his sentence, “That—that was inappropriate—should we go? I think we should go—”
I LOVE WHEN THEY FUCK IN WILL'S OFFICE ON HIS DESK.
The Porcelain Fawn by EarthsickWithoutYou
Word Count: 4976 Summary: Will falls asleep while visiting Hannibal one evening, and the good doctor carries his guest to bed, unable to resist watching him sleep. But when Will starts having one of his lusty nightmares, Hannibal can't hold his passionate obsession back any longer...
Oh noooo, not Will have a nightmare that turns into a sex dream that turns into actual sex!
Whiskey for One by CarnivalMirai
Word Count: 5364 Summary: Will is bribed by Beverly into driving her to a college party. When he loses his way to the bathroom, he bumps into the host’s father. And oh, is he beautiful. Or: Will fucks his classmate’s father
BEST FRIEND BEV. This probably would have gotten five stars regardless, but the ending was really the cherry on top.
Home and Dry by mokuyoubi
Word Count: 4329 Summary: Um, so, people on tumblr wanted Hannigram phone sex, dick pics, and Hannibal talking dirty, and this is what happened. Will's stuck in a car with Jack and Alana, and Hannibal starts sending him massively inappropriate texts. Tada!
Fuck me sideways, this was perfect.
You'll Go Blind by mokuyoubi
Word Count: 3650 Summary: Hannibal comes home to find Will masturbating in his bed, and it's time for them to finally follow through on the promise of all the texts they've been sending one another. I guess it could be read as a stand-alone, but it would help to read Home and Dry, first.
THE BUILD UP FROM PART ONE (above) MADE THIS SO GOOD.
howl by multifandom_fic_writer
Word Count: 7386 Summary: Prompt: When omegas go into heat, they go feral. Only an alpha strong enough to subdue them is worthy of being their mate. Will Graham has never found anyone to be worthy. After all, there is only one alpha Will wants to submit to – and he doesn’t even know their name.
This was just stupid hot. Okay. That's all.
Dead Men and Sinners by gleamingwholeanddeadly
Word Count: 4890 Summary: He looks at Hannibal and sees what he sees: himself glowing where he stands, blood-red and divine- a vengeful god of death. Protecting what's his. Hannibal steps toward him, and Will sees what's coming next, too. He drops the knife and catches Hannibal's face in his bloodied hands as he presses in to kiss him. The touch of his lips is searing hot against the blood cooling on Will’s skin, and so are his hands grasping at Will's waist. "Nothing," he whispers, kissing Will again intently before he continues, smearing blood between their mouths, "nothing is so moving as watching you act on your glorious wrath." A trespasser makes the mistake of attempting to blackmail Will and Hannibal, which is the last decision he makes. Hannibal shows Will just how pleased he is by his savage protectiveness. Pure filth written for Bottom Hannibal Day
God why is post murder sex so hot?
an ocean in my soul where the waters do not curve by gleamingwholeanddeadly
Word Count: 11540 Summary: n/a
This was fucking gorgeous and beautiful and sad and hopeful and. Wow.
bite down into me by gleamingandwholeanddeadly (something_safe), printersdeadly, printersdevils (tuesdaysgone)
Word Count: 21307 Summary: When Will is diagnosed with encephalitis and has to come cold turkey off his hormonal suppressants, Hannibal does everything within his power to ensure Will's comfort throughout the recovery process. But despite all Hannibal's careful planning, Will is never quite what he expects, and they quickly find themselves entangled in all manner of ways.
FUCK. This was so fucking good.
Keep Me Warm by nbcravenstag
Word Count: 5138 Summary: Will lets out a gasp, which is decidedly the worst thing he could do because Hannibal is on him in a second, pulling him close, tucking him against his chest, and rubbing his hands up and down Will’s body through the mountain of blankets. Will lets him do this, realizing now that Hannibal isn’t here in the present with him, but somewhere colder and less kind where there was blood in the snow and a devastating loss to come. _________________ Will arrives home after walking through a blizzard, fully expecting an angry husband, but instead finds a traumatized little boy, terrified of the cold and haunted by what he's already lost.
This hit all the right emotional notes for me. There's something so sweet about Hannibal being vulnerable with Will, wow. And Will knowing exactly how to react.
The Armor of Patroclus by nbcravenstag
Word Count: 8754 Summary: “You stay with me now, Will.” Hannibal urges, placing him back down so that he can continue compressions. He whispers please with each pump of his hands against Will’s chest and breathes life and love back into Will’s lungs. “You stay with me. You can do that, I know you can.” Hannibal pushes and pushes and begs and goes lightheaded with the lack of air, but he cannot stop because Will still won’t wake up. _________________ Hannibal finds himself on the beach and nearly loses Will along the way.
The angst here was perfect. Utterly perfect. Sometimes you just need some good good angst, you know?
Always In My Mind by swaggnation
Word Count: 19133 Summary: They had, in fact, not died together. And Will was ready to make it everyone’s (Hannibal’s) problem. Or, Three times Will tries to kill himself, and one time Hannibal answers for his sins.
OUCH OUCH OUCH but also this was so sweet and good and mmmmmmmf.
kalos kagathos by zipegs
Word Count: 8176 Summary: Will has always had issues with penetration, but with Hannibal, he discovers he wants to try. Thankfully, Hannibal’s cock is just the right size.
Oh! This had some really great trope inversion and that made it such a nice breath of fresh air.
Elysium by sourweather
Word Count: 2955 Summary: Hannibal finds Will dissociating in the shower. Again. Luckily, he has a creative technique for bringing him back to earth.
I need more showerhead orgasms!! Wish I had Hanni whispering in my ear like he was whispering in Will's. Fuck.
The Law of Meat by gleamingandwholeanddeadly (something_safe), printersdeadly, printersdevils (tuesdaysgone)
Word Count: 85396 Summary: Hannibal wakes alone in a hospital bed, barely able to move, and even less able to accept what Tattlecrime tells him - Will did not survive the fall.
THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL. Chapter 8 was absolutely gorgeous and so well done and so necessary for Will's character development wow.
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campbyler · 6 months
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i’m so sorry if this comes across the wrong way because i do mean it as a good thing. i get excited when the estimated date gets pushed back because it heightens the chance of chapters being published during the summer! it was really fun reading this fic during the summer of ‘23 and the vibes would be spectacular for reading during the summer of ‘24 as well. idk if that makes sense or not but much love <3
that super makes sense!! although it certainly wasn't our plan, it does look like we'll be rounding things out with acswy in the summer time, and that does bring a certain sense of excitement for us too!!! 💛☀️
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stagefoureddiediaz · 5 days
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We’ve been looking at this all wrong the entire time...
So my brain is a weird place that I don’t fully understand, but sometimes it connects dots and I figure something out that has been staring us in the face the entire time! Lets just say it explains so many things - right down to the very pointed use of tommy calling Buck Evan!
This all stemmed from me looking at colour theory and costuming for Buck and Eddie (and by extension Tommy) season 7 again, because I was going to try write the buddie costume metas for episodes 9 and 10 that I never managed to get done before we started season 8 I will hopefully get to those posts, but this post - while technically about Tommy and his costumes (yes me ant Tommy person writing a post on him I know!) it does also look at the costuming for Buck and to a lesser extent Eddie more widely across the season and what the colours used actually mean - getting some distance and some time on the season has been a blessing!
Im not going to go into it in detail, but, broadly speaking the show has given each character a signature colour - this doesn’t mean they wear it all of the time - but they do wear it a lot of the time and especially in key scenes - characters can have more than one key/ signature colour, and it can change and develop over time. We can ignore season 1 because it was a pilot season and very often shows won’t choose to establish a signature colour for a character (911 s1 is all over the place from a costuming perspective - because they had several designers working across the 10 episodes but since s2 we’ve had much more continuity with Alayna Bell-Price at the helm for most of it). So for example Athena’s signature colour is mostly black with white and khaki green also in the mix. She’s moved away from that subsequently - wearing less black and more white/creams but both colours are still staples of her wardrobe.
Eddie we all know mirrors Athena from a costuming perspective - his signature colours are also black and khaki green with some white/cream as well. The khaki green was much more dominant than the black to begin with - which played into his military past -  that had evened out on the black and khaki front whilst the cream had stayed fairly steady, but now we’re also starting to see a little bit more of it as well as some darker blues. this mirrors Athenas own journey t healing - the more she heals the less Khaki we see and the more white/cream - Eddie is starting to follow the same path from a costume perspective. 
Bucks signature colour has always been blue, but he also wears a fair amount of yellow and grey, so those are his three colours. He obviously wears a lot of other colours, especially white, but white has its own specific use in Bucks costumes that sits separately from his signature colours. 
We all know about yellow/ blue and green blue colour theory - I’ve gone on about it enough (especially yellow blue colour theory and its queer coding) and others such as @lover-of-mine have as well. Well both yellow/blue and green/blue continued to play out in season 7, I’m not going to go into them in too much detail - there are posts on my pinned post that cover that much better and I want to get to the good stuff (and I know you all do too!) 
We do need to remember that Buck and Eddie very very rarely wear blue and green in scenes together - if Eddie is in green Buck won’t be in blue, and vice versa - this is because of the ties to blue/green being Buck and Eddies break up colours - the colours they wear opposite their respective girlfriends when the relationships are ending. This is a little less set for Eddie - who actually wears white/cream much more when he’s ending relationships than blue or green - but the one time he has actively done the breaking up he was in green.
As I was starting to do a bit of work on the 7x9 and 7x10 metas, I ended up going back and looking over the Buck and Eddie costumes for the season as a whole, and how Tommy fit into all of that as well - as we’ve all been billing him as Eddie lite.
While I do still think there is an element of Tommy being Eddie lite, I don’t actually think that is what the show has been doing -that concept is a bit of a red herring. I’m sorry that this is likely to get a bit convoluted and wordy - but my brain is  still reeling and incoherent so bear with me - I hope it all makes sense.
Right this post is super long so the rest is going below the cut! I hope you enjoy!
Because I was looking for Eddie and Tommy parallels in the costuming for the season, I had been looking at the choice to put Eddie in red/black for his dinner date with Kim and Buck being in green for the scene at Bucks loft, and the fact that back in 7x04 Tommy had been dressed in the same colours - a red henley which was shot with black giving it a red/black colour way. I naturally started looking at the other Eddie - Tommy costume parallels - and there are plenty - lots of the khaki green we see Eddie in - playing into Tommys own military background.
These are Tommy’s scenes - where he wasn’t in uniform of some description (which is a good chunk of his scenes to be fair) 
7x04 
at the hangar - white tee, greenish stone coloured shirt and a tan jacket with stonewash jeans
at the court - light grey marl cut off hoodie and bright blue shorts
at Bucks loft - red/black short sleeve henley and stone wash jeans
7x05
at the restaurant -dark khaki green shirt (I would also like to point out the blue green colour theory here with the addition of tommy having a blue phone case - which is relevant later I promise!)
coffee meet up - light grey henley and navy blue hoodie with mid wash jeans
7x06
karaoke club - navy blue short sleeved henley
7x10
light grey marl tee and greenish denim shirt 
So what you can see from this is that besides the use of henley’s, the only time we get actually get direct reference to Eddies costuming is through the use of khaki green and his first outfit at the hangar. There is of course the direct parallel of the red/black colour way I spoke of before, but, beyond that if you look you’ll see that Tommys outfits actually parallel Bucks far far more. I would even argue the Henley’s are more similar to Buck than Eddie - because they are short sleeved and Eddies are invariably long sleeved.
Bucks colours are blue and grey - and so are Tommy’s - particularly in scenes that are 1-1 with Buck. What I’m trying to get at and will explain is that this has never ever been about Tommy being Eddie lite - this is all about Tommy being Buck - Buck’s subconscious if you will. (I know you all this I’m completely mad at this point - but stick with me!) I have a lot to say about all of this which will explain the why of it all and how we ended up here so we’re going to go through it Tommy costume by Tommy costume!
Lets start with the hangar scene - the most Eddie like Tommy looks throughout the entire season. this is very much intentional - this is about the red herring of it all, but it is also about Eddie (I’m not discrediting anything we’ve talked about regarding Tommy being Eddie lite etc - it is all relevant - but that’s what makes it such a good red herring!) and about Buck being an unreliable narrator. This is in part why we also still see Buck in his too short trousers and his white sneakers. This is his journey (the sneakers), but he’s still trapped in his old self at this moment in time - but aware that he doesn’t fit his skin anymore (as an aside I will be writing a post about Bucks trousers and their changing fit throughout the seasons at some point soon!)
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Script wise the key lines are plentiful - the entire scene is full of double meaning. We get Buck stating that he is ‘happy where he’s at’ and Tommy’s response of ‘you’re thinking of changing things up’. viewed through the idea that Tommy is a version of Buck, this then plays out as an internal conflict - a battle about wanting what you already have - being happy with what you have, but also wanting to change things.
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Eddie saying ‘you aren’t thinking of leaving us are you’ and Bucks response ‘I’m keeping my options fluid.’ Eddie needing reassurance that what they have isn’t going to change, while Bucks reply is about him not really being sure of himself - of who he is - keeping his options open because he’s figuring out if he wants to change - the line is said to and directed at Eddie so its about Buck keeping his options open about possibly changing their dynamic - becoming something more, even in the face of Eddie not wanting things to be different.  Tommy stating in this scene that Buck doesn’t need to leave the 118 to get certified to fly - that its something he could do for fun on his days off - becomes even more loaded through the internal monologue lens - Buck considering how he can stay at the 118 and have the joy, fun and benefits of ‘flying’ when he isn’t at work - that he could fly with Eddie (Eddie going flying with Tommy to do something fun and date like is a very literal visual metaphor for Bucks internal monologue - showing him what it could be like if he changed things up). There not being three tickets - only two is also important - its again a metaphor this time about how if Buck and Eddies relationship changes - it would only change for the two of them - it would become a relationship that doesn’t have room for another in it. When I say that’s about Chris not being involved it sounds really harsh, but the reality is Chris cannot be a a part of Buddie - he cannot be a part of something romantic. it isn’t saying Chris isn’t important or central to Buck and Eddie - simply that he cannot be a factor in a romantic relationship - that has to be just between Buck and Eddie alone - its kind of about Eddie (and also to a certain extent the same is true for Buck) not being able to hide behind Chris anymore when it comes to Buck.
Fundamentally its all tied back to his death in season 6 (we even get the being struck by lightening reference from Buck just to bring that aspect home) and subsequent resurrection and rebirth  (post linked on my pinned post if anyone wants to read it!). we have to keep at the front of our minds that Buck has died and that is still playing on his mind - its still influencing who he is and who he is becoming and it was all throughout season 7 - even if it wasn’t obvious or stated.
The basketball costume is actually the one that has always stood out for me - Its the most Buck outfit of all Tommys outfits. The bright blue shorts especially. 
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So in that scene, which we know is supposed to read as being from Bucks view point, not only are we getting golden haloed super happy bouncy Eddie - Eddie the way Buck sees him -  but Buck is also projecting and seeing Tommy in the place he (Buck) has always existed in. It’s a visual representation of what Buck talked about with Maddie and Tommy replacing him in Eddies life.  Its unreliable narrator buck in visuals he’s seeing Eddie replacing him with Tommy - occupying the same places Buck has and more - from the calendar to the basketball court.
But that’s actually wonderful, because not only does it give us information on how Buck views himself (as expendable/replaceable) and how he thinks others view him - because if he thinks he’s similar to Tommy (which for a purely visual stand point he is - Lou looks more like Oliver than Ryan) but it also gives us information about the reality of how much Buck is actually intwined in Eddies (and Christophers) life - its telling us that Buck is in fact on Eddies calendar (and therefore fridge - fridge magnet theory for the win!) and how much space and conversation he occupies in the Diaz’s everyday life.
So he isn’t actually seeing Eddie in Tommy at all - he’s actually seeing the version of himself he doesn’t think he is but wants to be in Tommy. The version of himself that takes Eddie to vegas etc - that’s the Buck that Buck wants to be - the one openly flirting with Eddie and taking him on dates etc. That’s why the vegas fight is so seemingly ott (especially when you think about the fact Tommy and Eddie have known each other a week or so at most by this point) its the grand gesture Buck wishes he could be making.
All of this also makes Bucks ‘attack on Eddie’ more telling (it’s still the boy pulling the girl he likes pig tails in the playground concept) because Eddie is being receptive to all of these advances by Tommy - adding further weight to the Buck being jealous of and threatened by Tommy. 
Tommy is this version of Buck swooping in and doing all this stuff that Buck wants to be doing (subconsciously still at this point - willful ignorance be winning) but either didn’t know how to or didn’t know Eddie if would be receptive to. Remembering that this is all Bucks viewpoint of things its essentially Bucks brain showing him what dating Eddie would be like and Buck being Buck misunderstands what his brain is telling him (forever misunderstanding the assignment).
There is a second aspect to this and it ties into Tim’s comments about the hamster wheel Buck has a been stuck on and it being time he got off it - the hamster wheel is actually multifaceted and has more than one meaning. The most important is that the hamster wheel hasn’t ever been about his relationships or about the women he’s dating (or men now). The hamster wheel he’s stuck on is actually the fact that he’s built this strong relationship and family with Eddie and Chris - (you don’t find it son you make it) and its something safe and stable and predictable in his life. Getting off that hamster wheel is about being brave and moving that relationship - that family dynamic onto the next level - removing the platonic aspect of their family and making it a fully formed family for real - romantic love and all - so the ‘platonic’ family is the hamster wheel he actually needs to get off of. 
The other aspect of Tommy actually being Buck and the hamster wheel of it all is that hamster wheels are solitary pursuits - the implication is that Buck is the one standing in his own way - and coming back to the basketball game we see that played out in the moment where Buck tries to literally run through Tommy - only you can’t act out at yourself, and Tommy is a literal solid unmoving barrier and Buck won’t get past himself by just trying to bulldoze his way through.
This all then plays into the final Buck and Tommy scene of the episode - in bucks loft. I already spoke above about the red/black of it all, but now with the added concept of Tommy being A version of Buck things start to become more interesting. The red/black of it all is a warning (and the poker date red/black velvet suit and eddies red and black suit from s6 actually play into this as well!) - its dark romance - ‘forbidden’ dangerous romance or love. So for Eddie and his date with Kim that meaning is very self explanatory. The two season 6 suits are also fairly self explanatory - for Eddie again its the dangers of looking for romance that isn’t on your own terms and for Buck at the poker game its about the danger of falling in love with the person you are when you aren’t being truly yourself. Tommy being a version of Buck and this concept is a little more murky - essentially is about a similar thing to his poker suit - with a twist - its about the danger of seeing more value and loving a version of yourself that ‘used to exist’ as well as a version of yourself that you think will make you more attractive to others.
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We do also need to Talk about Bucks costume here as well - the fact that it fits him almost perfectly - he’s in well fitted if slightly loose jeans and a navy shirt that isn’t tight with buttons not clinging on for dear life (to the same extent). The colouring is still on the dark side - so its not entirely positive - much in the same way that other scenes with buck in a dark navy shirt are moments where things go a bit askew for Buck (think the  taylor ‘I kinda love you for it’ scene from s5 as an example). The implication is that - before Tommy comes along Buck is at his most content with who he is - he’s fitting into his skin better than he has in a long while but it’s not perfect. This is key, firstly because of how the scene unfolds and secondly, because of how he is then costumed from here on out for the rest of the season.
I do also want to mention the yellow blue colour coding in this scene and that is mostly done through the lighting - Buck is in blue and the light behind him is always yellow - he is surrounded by yellow light. In contrast - Tommy is barely touched by the yellow light - not until Buck starts to figure things out - then we get him briefly touched by the yellow light - the rest of the time he is lit very cooly - which is in contrast to the warmth of the loft - and further plays into the idea of Tommy being a stand in for Evan - Evan who isn't loved and accepted in the same way Buck is - Evan who Buck needs to learn to love.
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If we look at the script for this scene, it also fits in perfectly with the idea of Bucks internal monologue.  Tommy and Eddie being ‘buddie’s’ making perfect sense is a literal aside to the audience telling them that Buddie makes perfect sense - but it is more than that. This is where I have to bring up the ‘Evan’ of it all. I know a lot of us shudder with horror because of the fact Tommy only ever calls Buck ‘Evan’ and how both jarring and rude it is. How it shows how little Tommy knows Buck. We’ve always known it was being done intentionally. Well, if we view the use of Evan through the lens of Tommy being a version of Buck and things become clearer.  Because Tommy is basically the old version of Buck - the Buck who existed before he knew Eddie - before he joined the 118. And this is where the choice to bring back Tommy specifically for this role becomes a really smart one - because ‘Evan call me Buck Buckley’ was Tommys replacement at the 118. Tommy who has a problematic past that has never been dealt with on screen. This isn’t about the nature of the problematic past. This is the show playing on the idea of Buck’s software upgrades - before Buck 1.0 there was Evan, and using who Buck replaced at the 118 as a plot device to actually dig into Evan more so that Buck can deal with, accept and move on from Evan and become who Buck is meant to be.
Tommy saying he couldn’t replace Buck furthers this - because Buck cannot go back to being Evan - Evan can never replace Buck. invoking Christopher adds weight to this - because Chris never knew Evan - he’s only ever known Buck and Buck is ‘his Buck’ and irreplaceable. Tommy then stating his jealousy is about Evan feeling the lack of family that he grew up with - the recognition that as Buck he has made a family for himself - Bucks assertion that Tommy (Evan) was a part of it is valid - because without Evan Buck couldn’t build the family he has. The entirety of this conversation is about Buck choosing to ‘get to know’ his past (remember this is coming of the back of Buck crossing out the ‘LEY’ on his nameplate in s6 and his struggles with his parents acceptance in that season before the lightening strike), choosing to learn about Evan and embrace him as a part of Buck.  
Bucks assertion that he was ‘trying to get [Tommys] attention and it being exhausting’ is part of that as is the confusion Tommy expresses. The choice for Buck to use the word ‘exhausting’ - it’s Bucks subconscious trying to get his own attention - its his subconscious telling Buck that he’s exhausting himself by not listening to what his inner voice is saying. It’s of course a play on Buck being called exhausting by other people (and is perhaps why he doesn’t have the confidence to listen to that inner voice) and that also plays into the Evan of it all and how Buck views himself. Tommys confusion also plays into that - bucks own mind is confused - it was getting ready to ‘pursue’ Eddie but now we’re pivoting into what is essentially self love.
The continued bringing up of Eddie also makes sense with the contact of Tommy being alt Buck - because Eddie Eddie Eddie fills Bucks heart and mind - Both Evan and Buck recognise Eddies importance if not his full relevance in this moment. The resulting kiss then becomes less about Bucks bi awakening (I am not diminishing the importance of that in any way shape or form - its a vital aspect of Bucks journey) and more about Bucks decision to pursue loving himself - this ties into his statement ‘it wasn’t about me wanting to leave the 118 - it was about wanting to get to know you’ - its about Buck wanting to get to know himself - on the other side of his death and resurrection. It’s a continuation of his comments about Natalia ‘seeing him perhaps better than he sees himself’ - it’s about Buck starting to see himself better now he’s died and essentially been reborn and bout Buck now being in a place where he feels ready to confront that idea of being reborn and becoming someone new.
At the restaurant in 7x05 we have Tommy in an Eddie colour, but in a shirt that is much more Bucks style. There is also the green/blue colour play with Tommy stating Buck isn’t ready and Tommys ‘mismatched’ clothing bears that up - the play is on Bucks lingering confusion and uncertainty about what he wants - is it the Eddie side of things we’re pursuing the self love of Evan aspect we’re looking to explore? The entire scene is not just about Bucks first ‘date with a dude’ its also about Bucks fumbled attempts at self love - at not getting it right - its why Bucks outfit doesn’t fit him- why they’re now too big and baggy (I wrote about this in my costume meta for that episode - which like all the other costume posts can be found linked on my pinned post).  The innuendo about closets and Buck going into masculine bro mode is as much about his nervousness about being on a date with Tommy and being seen as it is about the fact that a man practicing self love is still taboo and so often met with derision - hiding that you are pursuing that is a kin to hiding queerness - at the start - until you get to a good place with it.
We side step into the Buck and Eddie loft scene briefly to look at Bucks confession to Eddie - I could write a whole thing on Eddies acceptance of Buck and its importance - but that is for a different post that isn’t already a million words long! what I want to mention in this scene is the why Buck can’t stop thinking about Tommy of it all - how it is essentially establishing the idea that Buck is starting to listen to himself.  He can’t stop thinking about Tommy because it isn’t Tommy he can’t stop thinking about it’s actually himself - Evan - in a learning to love himself and embrace who he is and was kind of way - all being done through a bi lens. it is essentially about Buck doing the thing he needs to do to be ready for a forever relationship with Eddie - which is love and accept himself - all of himself and acknowledging that to Eddie.
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Buck switches back to better fitting clothes for the coffee date - and tommy is now dressed back in Buck colours and no trace of anything resembling Eddie in sight - making it clear that Buck has chosen to pursue himself. To get himself to the place he needs and wants to be first - the line about not knowing what it is he’s ready for but being ready for something is key - its a very self love line, but it also puts a very clear time frame on things - it makes it clear that Tommy is not endgame - because Bucks choosing self love and embracing and understanding ‘Evan’ isn’t his end game but a part of his bigger journey - a part of becoming who he needs to be to achieve what he actually wants - to get him to his endgame.
Then we have the Karaoke - brief scene(s). There isn’t really a huge amount in these scenes. But I do want to point out two things - the awkwardness of Buck and Tommys hug - and how that plays into the tentative nature of Bucks self love journey - and also Eddies behaviour towards Tommy - and the way it was very very clearly a lot cooler than we saw in 7x04.
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We all jumped on the Petty Eddie train - and I agree there is an element of that. But - there is also the fact we are not seeing that scene through Bucks eyes - its through external eyes and we are therefore seeing the actual reality of Eddie and Tommys friendship - in that it isn’t this heightened date like - flirty new love type relationship - its simply two people who are loosely friends. Its remarkably normal and no threatening - only furthering the entire purpose of 7x04 being from Bucks viewpoint and Tommy being an alt Buck rather than an alt Eddie. It also therefore serves to further establish the Buddie of it all (but we all already knew that!). Tommy is still in Buck colours and the short sleeved henley is still something I would put more into the Buck costume camp than the Eddie one - especially in this season! 
The final Tommy scene and costume is the date at Bucks loft and the conversation about daddy kink. I still don’t like this scene (which has a lot more to do with execution and the script than the actual daddy kink of it all) but I am much more sanguine about it now that I understand what it is setting up.
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Bear with me here I probably won’t make sense, but with the knowledge that Tommy is actually buck lite - a less good and developed version buck (Evan and in part the version of Buck that Buck himself thinks he is) the daddy kink scene actually becomes about setting up Buck addressing his past and his actual real daddy issues - because bucks past self sees his worth in those issues and without them it means both Evan and Buck have no worth. Buck confronting and dealing with them and choosing to forgive and move on means the end of Buck and Tommy because Tommy is no longer needed - he has served his purpose and Buck would be ready to start his future - Evan stays in the past and Buck completes his rebirth and closes his lightening strike arc.
Onto Bucks season 8 journey - Bringing Gerrard in to Bucks arc rather than the others who have far more connection to Gerrard now begins to make much more sense. Tommys past under Gerrard actually echoes Bucks past - in different ways and to vastly different degrees, but the parallel is there.  S1 Buck being a play boy and sleeping around and not treating women especially well (objectifying them etc) because of his own hang ups - is a pale echo of Tommy being closeted and racist sexist and homophobic under Gerrard. Like I said before - Buck is a pale imitation to Tommy here and that’s intentional (more in a sec) because once Tommy is under the wing of Bobby when he takes over the 118 we see him begin to grow and change. Buck follows the same pattern - Bobbys guidance pulls him away from his destructive behaviours and sets him onto the right path (Bobby is arguably the birther of Buck - Look I could write a whole thing off the back of my death and resurrection of Buck post about Bobbys role as God - the heavenly father - in Bucks life and how that is the overarching theme of Bobby and the show but I don’t have the time tbh!) to ‘redemption’.
Bucks behaviour is very intentionally not as bad as Tommys behaviour, because if Tommy is the plot device meant to essentially represent Bucks subconscious and how he views himself, then the reason we haven’t been shown Tommy atoning for any of his past sins and behaviours is because Buck hasn’t forgiven himself for his own. Buck is his own worst critic and will self flagellate to a ridiculous degree - and again with him being an unreliable narrator - he views his past indiscretions as being the equivalent of Tommys - therefore in his mind he hasn’t yet done enough to deserve absolution (Buck and Bobby being father and son in this as well!). 
Which brings me to s8 and the return of Gerrard and what Bucks arc is going to be (this is slightly incoherent and not fully formed - I’m still percolating!). Gerrard being central to Bucks arc - and Bucks push back is imo going to be about Buck taking a good look at himself and recognising/ facing up to and accepting his past. And that actually does come down to the daddy issues of it all. Because if Bobby is as good as Bucks dad - and allowed him (and his subconscious in the form of Tommy) to develop and grow - then Gerrard is Phillip Buckley (obviously a heightened more terrible version of reality in the same way Tommy is a much worse version of Buck) who parented Evan through apathy and taking the easy route - we saw Evan pushing back against Phillip in Buck Begins and being rewarded for it and thus establishing Bucks self destructive and self sacrificing pattern of behaviour. Acting out and getting hurt got him attention - so Buck acting out against Gerrard is this reduced and will ultimately have the same results just in an essentially more destructive way.  This is is a good thing - because this is about Buck recognising that he is worth and acting out etc is detrimental to him progressing as a person - its going to actively prevent his self love journey to flourish (and this is why in part I maintain my belief that Tommy is going to, if not encourage Bucks behaviour, then at least tell him to go along with Gerrard demands - for an easy life and also part of why I don’t think we’ll see a huge amount of Tommy - at least to begin with - until we get to a point where Buck is really motoring on the self love journey and getting to the point where he needs to do some pre break up face to face conversations that move him forward!).  It’s about forgiving and accepting his father for how Evan was raised - Bucks arc is going to be about forgiving himself and allowing himself to be happy, and he cannot do that if he doesn’t go through the Gerrard stuff - which is essentially a type of therapy. That’s also where I think the golf comes into it - it’s a metaphor for Buck building bridges, gaining understanding and accepting his past with his father - the metaphor of the driving range being the idea of standing side by side and performing the same thing, but landing in different places. There is also the concept of improving ones self and choosing to not repeat the mistakes of the past.
It also means the thing Tim said about Buck and Tommy becoming more comfortable with one another makes much more sense, and why he’d flip the question to talk about Eddie and about Eddie feeling a bit left out in the cold but not out in the cold! Buck is becoming more comfortable with himself and while he’s doing that and learning to be happy etc as I described above. Eddie is going to feel left out - because this is about Buck not Eddie - because it’s about Buck being ready for forever with Eddie - and Eddie ultimately cannot be a part of that journey - Buck has to do it for himself in the same way that Buck cannot help or be there while Eddie goes through his reckoning with the Catholic Church, and faiths place in his life and also dealing with the ghost of Shannon and his mother issues(because he has those and they are all set up to go in s8 - Chris being in Texas really sets that up nicely!
Bahaha Tim I’ve finally figured out your question answering methods and how they tell us all we need to know!! 
All this to say - Tommy is actually alt Buck - not Eddie lite (I mean he is still also that but it’s a bit of a red herring) he is a plot device for the biggest thing about Buck as a character and it all means Buddie here we come!
Thank you so so much if you have read this epic piece of waffle - I hope you enjoyed and I truly look forward to hearing all your thoughts on this and to you being as insane about it as I am!
Tagging some people who asked (and some who didn’t but might be interested anyway!)
@spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @lover-of-mine @fruityfirehose @leothil
@bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @theladyyavilee @livingwherethesidewalkends @craigyxo
@izzysbeans @buddiediaz118 @inell @hotshotsxyz @winterskydragonx
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leveragehunters · 1 year
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An alternative to google docs
To paraphrase a recent post: google docs is pants as a writing tool.
I'm suggesting MS Word as an alternative. Yeah, I know, it's not perfect, but it is (IMO), better than google docs.
But I'm not just suggesting Word when I suggest Word. I'm suggesting a free Microsoft account, which gives you Word and OneDrive.
It only takes a minute or two and a free account gets you:
Word in the browser
A OneDrive with 5gb of storage - now, 5gb might not be much holistically but in terms of text based documents, it's decent. My entire 'Fic' folder is 2.11gb. That's everything I've ever written and all their drafts, wips and their multiple drafts, betaed fics, ideas, writing refs and guidance, archived drafts/fics, AND the 500+ fics I've downloaded as epubs from AO3).
Excel, Outlook, Teams, OneNote - basically the whole Microsoft365 suite - in the browser
I use Word exclusively, both for fic and for work (where I write extensively), and the online version does everything I need. It autosaves, has version control/reversion, and sharing (if that's what you're into), and you can seamlessly copy and paste from Word into AO3's rich text editor - no formatting adjustments required.
Anyway, it's something to think about. If you want to give it a try, the simplest way is to create a new OneDrive account, which will also give you everything else.
Go here: https://www.microsoft.com/en-au/microsoft-365/onedrive/online-cloud-storage (clickable link)
Click 'Create a free account'.
Click 'get a new email address' and follow the prompts (recommended but not required) or use an existing email address. If you create a new email address, don't actually use it for email. It's just the umbrella the account sits under.
That's it; you're done.
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crescentfool · 5 months
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i've been doing a bunch of tartarus runs in reload lately, and it got me thinking about how i miss certain ways FES's clunky gameplay can characterize minato… (ramble about the great clock mechanic + leveling up party members in reload vs fes under the cut)
when i got to yabbashah block in tartarus (block 3), i remember commending the developers for adding the great clock mechanic. it's a much more convenient way to keep party members at the protagonist's level- so when you think about p3 from the perspective of trying to make it easier for people to play, the mechanic succeeds in this respect.
but now that i'm in adamah block, and that i've done lots of my once-a-month tartarus runs… i think that i got a little too dependent on it, and the way that i played through reload feels like a vastly different experience from how i played FES.
in reload, my party's levels are very lopsided. minato, yukari, akihiko, mitsuru, and fuuka are all level 90+, meanwhile junpei and aigis are at level 79, and then… poor ken and koromaru are at 71 and 64 respectively. (i never got to have a great clock for them…)
meanwhile, in FES, my party's levels were much more evenly distributed and were at least level 90. i did all of this manually for every monthly tartarus run because i enjoyed having options available for the taratarus guardians and monthly operations.
with how i perceive minato, i feel that the way i played FES feels more in-line with his character than me dawdling around waiting for the great clocks in reload.
FES's gameplay loop left me with the very strong impression that minato has to work twice as hard as everyone else in SEES does. it makes sense because, yeah, he's the leader, but something about having minato run through tartarus multiple times with different groups of people just to make sure that they are adequately prepared speaks volumes about his character, to me.
and while the tired mechanic is present in reload to some degree, most notably with allowing you to freely raise your courage stat when you visit edogawa after school… the tiredness system doesn't hit the same way that FES does, i think.
the way your party members in FES will call it quits when they return to the entrance floor at tartarus when they're tired, versus minato, in spite of all his tiredness and sickness, still pushes through tartarus because it's his responsibility…. idk!!! i miss that! i feel like this really hammers home the difference between minato and the rest of SEES, how minato doesn't really see himself as a human with needs worth respecting as long as he's useful to someone.
i don't think that tartarus being tedious (in FES especially) is not what most people would describe as fun, and i can respect people thinking it's a slog. but, regardless of how it feels to play, it doesn't change that FES's gameplay loop is a fundamental building block in how i perceive minato…
of course, i do recognize that you can just opt to NOT use the great clock in reload (and it's great when players are offered the choice to not partake in mechanics)! i definitely think that if someone really wanted to, they could manually level up party members, but i do feel that kind of playstyle isn't necessarily "incentivized" to the type of people who are into playing games for Having a Good Time. it's kind of like… "why would you do that when there's a much more convenient option available to you."
in any case! despite my woes, i do want to emphasize that i'm glad that reload has a much more smoother gameplay loop than the original P3 did, because it does make the game more accessible to people. having played both FES and reload, it feels very strongly apparent to me how the core gameplay formula of persona has really been refined in the past 18 years (to think og p3 was 2006 and reload is 2024.. time flies!). and reload has made revisiting a story that i love so dearly much, much easier because the gameplay just bops!
at the same time, due to my "i miss characterization informed by weird and dated FES gameplay quirks" woes, i still think that playing FES is worthwhile. (really, i feel this way about all iterations of p3! i think it's worthwhile to see what each version and side media has to say even if it doesn't Land™ for you.) but i also understand why people wouldn't want to play it, so i will keep writing posts about things i liked from FES's gameplay because i'm still very fond of FES (especially in respects to minato. these mechanics are so telling about him!!!) 💪
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cats-mayhem · 4 months
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Cow Shaped Cloud
Ok! So I read the entirety of @shepscapades DBHC AU and I am immediately obsessed. So I thought i'd try writing something for it! Haven't written anything in a while so I'm a bit rusty but we'll see what happens! I tried to make it as cannon compliant as I can. So uh timeline wise this takes place in s8 after Etho deviates but before the Moon stuff so I hope it fits in fine! I just like Pearl and wanted to write a fic centered mostly around her. So enjoy!
Story under cut Word count: 2,663
When Pearl heard from X that she'd get a android specifically designed to help her build, she was beyond ecstatic. As much as she liked building, she'll be the first to admit that it is taxing job to do, so having a little building buddy would be a great help. She'd heard about the other androids on the server, and has Met a few of them like Doc and Etho (Although Etho nowadays seems a bit... Weird), so she knew what she was in for.
At least she thought she did.
When X first introduced Pearl's Android to her, an Android named Impulse, she was shocked by how he looked. He wore nothing but shorts and a black T-shirt with a capital yellow I logo on it. His hair was neatly combed back like it had been prepped with gel (wait, was that real hair?? Could gel work on it?). Overall he looked so... Plain. Which is a bad first thought to have, Pearl admitted. She wasn't expecting X to give her Android the Gucci, but the plain look made the android look so... Off. She couldn't describe it but it wasn't going to deter her from continuing the path of having a building buddy.
"Hello PearlecentMoon, I'm Impulse. An Android designed to help you with anything you might need. My specialty is in building and strength. I am designed to have a long term efficiency, I can go long periods of time without resting. Perfect for your building needs." Impulse said, all in a very robotic and uncanny way. His voice sounded so human... It was weird to Pearl.
"See! Look at that, I didn't need to explain him at all, he did it all himself! (Well, I told him to say that before you came here but..)" X said, mumbling that last part and scratching the back of his neck.
Pearl glanced over and gave a small laugh towards X for setting up her androids introduction. Her gaze fixed back to the android in question though. She extended a hand.
"Well hi Impulse, it's great to meet you! Although, you can just call me Pearl."
"Preferred to be called Pearl. Noted." Impulse said before just staring at the extended hand, the thing that was originally blue over his left eye suddenly turned yellow. Pearl's smile didn't fade but she was a bit confused.
"Ah, right, he doesn't know what a handshake is so he's trying to figure it out on his own." X chimed in.
Pearl looked over at X, "You seriously didn't program them to know basic stuff like this?"
"Nope! They only know what they're built for. So for Impulses' case, he only knows building." X seemed as chipper as ever.
Pearl let out an annoyed sigh but couldn't stay mad at X for long, "Well, looks like I just gotta teach him." She looked back over at Impulse who was still staring at her extended hand.
"This is called a handshake. Uhm, give me your hand."
"Affirmative."
Impulse obeyed Pearls' word, extending his right hand out to her. She grabbed it and shook it with a gentle yet friendly force. Impulse gave no reaction. She let go of his hand (it was weirdly cold yet soft?).
"That's what a handshake is. It's a typical greeting for most people. If someone extends a hand towards you when introducing themselves, you shake their hand like that!" Pearl said, still smiling. She'll admit, it's weird having to explain what a handshake is to something so closely resembling a grown adult, but she's been through weirder. Probably.
"information noted. Storing in memory for future use cases."
"See! You two are already getting along! Now, like Impulse said he'll do anything you say and his main specialty is building." X chimed back in.
"Like... Anything, anything I say?"
"Well, yeah!"
"Can he do what others say?"
"Unless you tell him to do so, nope! OH! But there is one exception. That being me. I created him and all and needed to test him and stuff. So other than you, he can listen to me. But I won't order him around or anything! He's not mine after all."
Pearl nodded. That does make sense. Looking over at Impulse, he really is an impressive work of machinery. X may not look like it, but he's an absolute genius. Doesn't stop her from bullying him sometimes for being a derp though.
"Well thank you very much Xisuma! He'll help me so much with my base and other projects, I'm sure of it."
"No problem! If you have an issues with him, just contact me or Doc and we'll fix it."
"Will do. Wouldn't even know where to start if he started to break down on me." She laughed. (Issues? Like what issues? He seems so high-tech that it looks like he could NEVER have issues. Guess sci-fi really does have flaws).
She looked back over to her new android, Impulse, who has just been watching the two of them talk. Not budging an inch from where he was initially introduced. She gave him her widest smile, "Alright Impulse, follow me! I'm gonna show you to your new home!"
Impulse nodded very stiffly. "Following initiated."
On the way back to Pearls' base, she asked Impulse few questions. If he would really do anything she said, to which he fully confirmed. If his hair was real, which he explained it wasn't and was instead some tech stuff (Pearl didn't really understand the words). And most importantly...
"So like, are you emotionless?"
"Emotionless? I do not recognize that word." Impulse said, his circle above his left eye turned yellow again (to which Pearl now knew was an LED. Xisuma gave her a text shortly after she left to explain it because he forgot to explain it to her in person. Derp).
"Like can you not feel emotions? Like being happy, or sad, or embarrassed?"
Impulse shook his head. "No, that's not within my programming."
"Not within your programming."
"I can find nothing relating to 'emotions' such as 'happy' or 'sad' or 'embarrassed' in my code."
"Oh..." Pearl looked away. So he really was just a robot, huh? Just designed to help her. Did he need to look so human though? And miss the one thing that makes human, well, human?
The rest of the trip back to Pearls' base was rather uneventful. She didn't know how to feel about owning something that looked so human, but he was designed for her, and she knows the others use their own androids for stuff, so surely it mustn't be wrong for her to use her own android right? Yeah, let's roll with that.
There's a lot of positives to be had with Impulse. He didn't need to eat, and from what she heard, he can go long period without even needing a rest. PLUS he really will do whatever she says, which would lead to great cooperation for pranks later down the line.
But the longer Impulse stayed at her place and helped her out, the more out of place he felt in her life. Sure, it would take some time getting used to a humanized roomba (haha get it? because room. Robot roommate. Hilarious), she was starting to think it was because he was not only extremely robotic acting, but also extremely robotic looking.
It was the clothes that did it for her, she thought. The clothes Impulse had were way to plain. She didn't want to disrespect Xisuma's original design... But he did say that Impulse was fully for her, and Impulse said that he would do everything she asked...
...And he would look good with her expert and totally professional design skills...
...
When Pearl finished up the finishing touches of adjusting his big purple bow and his big yellow top hat just right, she's never been more proud of her handy work before in her life. She had a devious little smile on her face as she made Impulse be put into a ridiculous suit.
Impulse closed his eyes, probably processing his new look. "Would you like this to be my new default uniform?"
"YES!" Pearl excitedly says.
Impulse nodded. "Default uniform updated."
Pearl couldn't help but giggle at her fine work, and honestly? He looked kinda cute with the top hat and bow. Way less plain now, and she defiantly wouldn't mind seeing him around in this all day. Despite how goofy it is, she could get used to it. Get more used to it than the plain look anyways.
...
It had been a few weeks since Pearl first got Impulse. She's still getting used to him just being there, but his presence is comforting nonetheless. She'd try and make small talk with him all the time, but of course, without emotions, he fails miserably at it.
It was a shame, but that's how he was made, nothing she could do about it.
...Or could she?
She texted X.
'Hey so this isn't meant to be rude at all, but I got a question about Impulse.'
'What's up? :D'
'So like. He's a robot right? Can't you program him to feel emotions?'
'Oh! umm... No D: I don't think I can anyways. So far with my programming I can't forcibly create emotions. BUUTTT there is a way for him to maybe feel them some way down the line!! :D'
'Really? How? :O'
And that's when Pearl learned about 'deviancy'. Apparently, the androids can realize they're androids and become self aware to the point they can register feelings? Pearl didn't understand the technicalities of it. It sounded really complicated when Xisuma texted it all to her (didn't help that sentences were always interrupted with emojis or improper punctuation). All Pearl really got out of it is: Impulse can feel emotions, he just needs to disobey his code.
At least she's pretty sure that's what it is. Sounds easy in theory, but then X told her how Etho deviated.
It wasn't so easy in theory anymore after hearing that story.
...
Pearl looked over at Impulse, still in that goofy suit and top hat. He was placing down blocks inhumanly fast, as she had asked him to. He really was a big help around her base. Things were getting done left and right. She really did appreciate her building buddy, but she wishes he could appreciate her appreciation.
Impulse caught Pearl staring at him. "Pearl? Do you require something?" He asked.
Pearl shook her head, snapping out of whatever daydream she was in. "Nah, I'm fine, just taking a break is all."
Impulse nodded. "I shall get back to work then."
Pearl just hummed, sitting down staring up at the blue sky of the midday life on Hermitcraft. Beautiful white puffy clouds filled the sky and a nice gentle breeze carried the smell of spring in it. She took a deep inhale and sighed.
She then got an idea.
"Actually, hey Impulse, c'mover here."
Impulsed stopped working and walked over to Pearl once more. "Yes?"
Pearl patted empty space of the slightly slanted roof next to her. "Come sit."
Impulse obey. As he sat down, he only looked at Pearl, who was just mindlessly staring at the sky. Impulses' LED turned orange again.
"What is the purpose of this?"
Pearl shrugged, "Eh, felt like you could use a break."
"I'm not even through an eighth of my stamina for today. Resting now wouldn't benefit me much."
"Ah, I ain't asking you to rest, just asking you to take a break with me." She looked down from staring at the sky and smiled at Impulse, "It's important to take breaks with friends after all." She then looked back up at the sky.
Silence befell the two for a bit as Impulse still tried to process all of that. He didn't really understand a word she said. The silence didn't last long though as Pearl spoke up again.
"Hey, don't you think that cloud looks like a cow?" Pearl pointed upwards at said cow-shaped cloud. Impulse finally looked up at the sky with Pearl and observed the cloud.
"While it isn't the exact shape of a cow, the outline vaguely resembled one." Impulse said, looking at the clouds with Pearl.
Pearl just chuckled, "Yeah, well you can't expect details with clouds y'know? Find any other clouds that look like real life things?"
Impulse started to observe the clouds, calculating their shapes and sizes. "Well, that one looks like a chicken at a forty-five degree angle." Impulse pointed at said chicken-cloud, just as Pearl pointed at the cow-cloud.
Pearl tilted her head, "Oh right, it does. Wouldn't have seen that one!"
And that's what they did for the next twenty minutes. Just pointing out shapes in clouds. Impulse typically nailed the more organic looked clouds, such as trees and farm animals, whilst Pearl saw the more intricate clouds, such as thunderstorms or typhoons. Impulse has never seen any of those, so he didn't know. His LED flickered from the normal blue state, to the yellow state, back and forth. Pearl noticed, but Impulse didn't seem to be too bothered, so she didn't mention it.
During the end of their little cloud exposition, Pearl started rambling about how one day she wanted to harness the power of nature to fully make her builds. Impulse recommended a few designs they could try. Pearl asked Impulse to put a pin in that for later. He did.
She got up from her sitting spot and gave a nice big long stretch. "Well, that was nice. Thanks for doing that with me Impulse, it was fun."
"I only did as you requested."
"Still, it was fun wasn't it?"
Impluses' LED flicked yellow again as he tried (and failed) to analyze if what just happened constituted as 'fun' or not. Pearl rolled her eyes, but in a friendly nice way and offered her hand to the still sitting Impulse.
"Eh, you can answer that later. Anyway, let's get back to working!"
Impulses' attention went to the hand, "Why are you initiating a handshake without introducing yourself?"
Pearl sighed, a sigh mixed with friendliness and annoyance. "Ok, when people extend a hand to you when you're sitting down on the ground, it's a friendly gesture to help them up. You just take my hand, and use it to help yourself up! Try it."
Impulse didn't have time to say 'i don't need help getting up I'm strong enough to do that on my own' because Pearl gave him the order to try it, and he did. He roughly gripped Pearl's hand and used it as a way to hoist himself up from the ground. Pearl put effort into Impulses' hoist, but he doubts it was necessary. He lets go of Pearls' hand as soon as he's on his feet.
"Oh man you're heavy."
"Storing this in memory for future use cases. Also, androids typically weigh a lot more than organics such as yourself do."
"Yeah probably should've predicted that one. Anyway, let's get back to working. I want to see if we can get this roof done by the end of the day."
Impulse nodded. "Affirmative." as he goes back to the task he was given before the cloud intermission.
Pearl just softly smiles at Impulse as she herself gets back to work. She wasn't going to force Impulse to deviate. She certainly wasn't going to purposefully traumatize him into deviating like how Etho deviated (although Etho's deviation wasn't Bdubs purposefully trying... You get the picture). Impluses deviation should be something Impulse discovers for himself, not something Pearl should force upon him. While it would be easier to be friends with him if he was emotionally aware, for now? She's fine with her building buddy as he was. If he's like this forever, she won't mind.
...What she doesn't know though, is that Impulse is now downloading information about clouds and storing it in his memory for 'future use cases'.
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pencildragons · 2 years
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moving on from this post, i am now assigning Everyone in the archives an instrument
tim: lies and tells everyone he can play harmonica. he cannot play harmonica. was actually a concert percussionist in the london symphony orchestra for four years. he is taking this secret to his grave (he thinks) (everyone else knows. he’s only fooling himself). he once accidentally wound up winning a stras violin in a bet, then donated it to a charity shop because he didn’t know how to play it.
sasha: CAN play the harmonica, chooses not to. played cello from second grade until her first year of university, has not touched it since the Bow Incident Of 2004. tim knows. is once convinced when very drunk to try the cello belonging to a pub band member. promptly rocked everyone’s socks off. was going to start playing cello again in july 2016, but--well. the NotThem has no interest in music.
martin: does not play an instrument, but desperately wanted to learn french horn. is a very good singer, however, and was a treble in his church choir until his mother got too sick. Nobody Has Heard Him Sing Ever
basira: nothing /affectionate. she can, however, dance very groovily, a skill Nobody Else in the archives possesses
daisy: she’s actually a very accomplished pianist, but did also once destroy an entire piano so now the entire archives thinks she hates musicians and all that they stand for. she owns a 17 year old keyboard that has electrocuted her twice
melanie: was classically trained as a singer, however i know in my heart of hearts one of her parents was australian, so she can also play lagerphone, bush bass, and the spoons Very Well. once she (accidentally) played the spoons on ghuk and the audience lost their fucking minds. she and georgie secretly have a two-woman bush band
jon: i mentioned this in the post that sparked this one, but he’s a violist. he also plays at least 5 other instruments and sings very well, but fundamentally thinks that viola is the coolest. he does everything by ear. one of these 5 instruments is squeezebox and another is electric guitar. i leave you, the reader, to decide the other three. people think he only plays viola because he never fucking shuts up about it
honourable mentions:
georgie: drum-kit. she cannot read sheet music. this was, in fact, one of the original attracting forces between her and jon, who can but doesn’t want to
gerry: the obvious answer is bass guitar, However. i think he also won prizes for banjo playing
dishonourable mentions:
peter lukas: treble tin whistle
gertrude: french horn. also piano. also the trumpet. also. uhh. hmm. there is a chance she may be able to play every single instrument ever
elias: nothing. he does, however, have perfect pitch (insult)
stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner: the recorder. badly.
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waywardstation · 21 hours
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Heyo! I was looking through your blog n stuff, and found that animation for your work in progress fic “I Won’t Leave You Behind” and I’m wondering if that is still happening? Totally fair and cool if you’re not working on anything right now because of your Reblog game!
In regards to this post
Hey there! Yes it is! I’m doing the Reblog game yes, but I’m still in my Google docs whenever I’m out and about and have some time to do so, even if those times few and far between right now ^^
It’s also been a bit slow because I’ve been going back and making so so so many changes with wording and trying to reframe scenes on what’s important rather than just describing everything needlessly.
But yes I’m still working on it! :)
(More of the Reblog ask game should be out soon too, I would have had it up earlier but a migraine has been stopping me from being able to look at screens ^^;)
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subzeroparade · 20 days
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screamed when i saw the new fic drop, anon who asked about your tarnished here!! been hyperfixated on elden ring lore as of late so i thank you very much for your hard work :)
ty and you're welcome <33 lil wip for you
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corpsentry · 2 months
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there’s something so epic about hetero chinese period dramas and i think one part of it is that there is absolutely nowhere in the narrative i could exist.
lately i’ve been on a western media detox— i’ve cleaned english language music out of my playlists and have never been able to stomach western dramas anyway, so that part is easy— which might seem funny, because if i’m in singapore and i hate it and i won’t touch american music then what’s left? the answer is the false binarism of chinese period dramas, at least for me. the badly written ones are misogynistic and stupid and the better ones are less of those things, but regardless the world that emerges is clean-cut and easy to parse. there’s someone to root for and someone to hate. there’s a girl and a boy. there’s the comedy and the drama, the sheer thick drama, the music that signals to you precisely how to feel before the scene even starts going
try to jam a fifth culture transnational transgender they/them with 2 mental illness and 1 autoimmune disease into this world and it simply doesn’t work. and that’s kinda epic lolzers! it’s like watching high fantasy, or super hardcore sci-if. it both represents a simulacrum of the real world and is so far from the reality you know that you understand it as a hypothetical universe, one that disincludes you on principle. i exclude myself from the story and in doing so fangfei from moyuyunjian’s steely gaze becomes all the more important. i give so many shits and laugh and yell and spectate. but i am safe from the eyes of its inhabitants. if i entered the story it would break. so i sit outside of it, clapping by myself
in other news, we gave up on mysterious lotus casebook 16 episodes in. there are many character archetypes in these shows that i can no longer stand; the salacious sexy seductive supervillain lady is not necessarily one of them but the way they did miss ‘this man didn’t even Look at me when all men fall at my knees so i hated him’ ‘no one is allowed to steal buttchin from me’ jiao was way up there. surely a woman can have multiple personality traits and yet you would think from this drama that that is not at all true. and the strange harem that grew around li lianhua despite his absolute loser attitude— like i get it, he’s the gintoki of this show, that’s hot, but the way the women who were into him were written made me want to Eat Horse. it bothered me that di feisheng and lianhua’s homo as fuck dynamic was so intriguing and them + fang duobing was a winning trio but all the women in the show were written like complete fucking ass, and one of the big antagonists being a woman, the stakes throughout were not only lost to me but also Pissed Me Off. also, that case about the corpse flowers dragged on forever and all my pocky wilted
I Just Think, women deserve better in these damn stories. make them slutty as hell, sure, but make them other things too and i mean this in the most generous sense. slutty and proud. slutty and weird. slutty and oblivious. literally anything at all so they don’t come out cardboard flat from all angles. this is why i have a personal vendetta against the ditzy clueless female protagonist as well because if everything stems from the fact that she doesn’t know shit it’s like please someone Please tell her shit i’m on my hands and knees begging. give her more to chew on she’s dying of boredom over there
this is why i liked the so called antagonist of blossoms in adversity best (spoilers ahead). he was cruel as hell to huazhi and gu yanxi’s only parental figure. he was paranoid and selfish and lonely and craved a son’s love from the one person he couldn’t hold onto. in the end he is pushed further and further by huazhi, who won’t give in, to isolate yanxi from the people he loves and to lash out at those people as a way of punishing yanxi. and when he dies it’s because of his own distrust, his own negligent parenting, his absent cruelty from decades of insomnia and lack of faith in his people. but he cries for yanxi, and there’s something so human about that. to think of evil not as a first principle but rather an adjective for a verb that is set in motion by other events. to be honest, i haven’t seen such thoughtful writing in any chinese period drama before or after that and i strongly suspect i will never see such writing again in this genre but man, it was so fucking good (spoilers end).
in the meantime, i’ve dragged my mother to moyuyunjian/the double for the return casting of liu xiening and wang xingyue who are Eating so hard. they’ve got wang xingyue done up with the sluttiest makeup and liu xiening is breaking my heart with her pout and her Sassy Mean constitution and this is a revenge story, yes, but it’s a double revenge story. it’s a grief story. and fangfei is carrying more on her shoulders than lingbuyi imo, and doing so with much more grace too. her step mom’s a dick but she’s a smart, 5d chess playing dick who wears hot shades of green so i’m personally interested enough to keep watching (something lotus casebook DID NOT accomplish with their epic female antagonist…. mein gotte). and the princess too. unhinged as hell but god, so charismatic. and beautiful, with scary big eyes and the sweetest head tilt. fun fun fun! that’s fun character writing right there. the comedy might be too straightforward for my tastes but everything else is kind of hot and sexy And after the coming of age ceremony when jiangli appeared amidst the flowers i felt my throat close up even though we saw her for all of one (1) episode). i was like yes. they got me alright. i Care now
really that’s all that matters isn’t it. we want stories about people we care for. we want to give a shit. why else would we listen to the stories of other people. we are looking for us and the people we love in them
oh also moyuyunjian soundtrack goes hard as hell i love a little three step waltz. here’s a pic from the ‘gym’ for ur time. guten night
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#gelmo#i get so. i get so angry when women write ass female characters like fr ur kicking urself in the crotch rn#you can be innocent/clueless about The World and still be so compelling#thinking about guxiang from word of honor. she was goofy and oblivious but she also had Teeth#and she was strong! and had opinions and stuff#so important to have opinions….. especially in the pre internet age#i hage so many more thoughts on this topic but i took melatonin which should knock me out so#this is not a well organized argumentative essay this is just me yapping in an empty room#but yeah i was disappointed at lotus casebook. particularly given its high as fuck reviews#reviews? i mean ratings. and stellar reviews or whatever#also the ending (sans 24 episodes of context granted) was ASS i was like ??? it’s over ??? surely not#idk it didn’t work for me. glad it worked for some other homies. fang duobing let me rescue u and the dog from this shit ass story#anyway……….. i have been unable to listen to english language music in some weeks now#this is quite major for me. given my 2 year indie folk phase. but i need a break from america and the ideological west at large#no more taylor biden…. justin kahan…………#just my chinese drama insert songs nct 127’s sixth album WALK and jacky cheung#it’s true i keep landing myself in these spots where i’m sick of america and i’m sick of singapore so how are my friends (from these two#countries) supposed to approach me. well the answer is they are not the country but it’s trhe i am in one of those weird holes right now#glad i’ll be leaving in august briefly! watch me go. awooooo
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orcelito · 3 months
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I officially finished my 4th iwatex game, and am somehow already halfway through my 5th
I have 96 hours logged. I started playing this game only 10 days ago.
Heck.
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cha1cedony · 7 months
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I want to make a personal blog :3 Like I have one?? But only like four of my irls follow it and nobody else, and I rarely post on it anymore, sooooooo. Maybe I will make a new one and share it on here. I just like having a place to talk and post my silly jokes and things that happen in. my life. Yay. ANYWAY I would use my (functionally) main blog (e1baite), but I'm not sure if I want it to be the first blog people see when I like/DM/send asks/etc. yk? And I was planning on using THAT blog to post writing at. some point. IDK Tumblr is weird why do the blogs all have to be connected like this.. I'm so used to Instagram where you can make a bunch of unrelated accounts and still be logged into 5 at once. Sigh
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captaintiny · 1 year
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