#and then for some completely unrelated reason i got a call from an Executive General Manager of our parent company.

[thatrandombystander]

Day 3 of I Am So Fucking Stressed.

[threewaysdivided]

Yes, the weak writing in TOA is what mellowed me out on the series. Despite my distaste for all the decisions after the first third of the movie I can't say it disappointed me because no matter how excited I was I didn’t have high expectations because I know what it's like. It's funny because I never completed the series. I got through half of Trollhunters and 3lbelow before I just had to leave. It took me a month to finish Wizards and that one's my favorite. So yeah.

(Following on from this ask.)

That's fair. Like I said before, I'm in a pretty similar boat when it comes to Tales of Arcadia. Trollhunters was good and - barring a couple of episodes which I fast-forwarded through because the tropes/ execution of the premise wasn't for me - I had a really enjoyable time with it. But then it reached the end and it felt like there were a lot of questions (changelings etc.), worldbuilding (heartstones etc.) and general complexities (Merlin as he was talked about throughout the series vs Merlin as he appeared at the end) that were left hanging to a frustrating degree.

Now, in fairness, I tend to experience "wait, that's it?"-ism at the end of a lot of TV shows that run for more than a single season - it's probably just the nature of the medium/production environment that makes it hard to match the impact of hours of build-up in just a handful of final episodes, especially since a lot of shows won't know they're on their final season until that season - but with Trollhunters, it was a very intense feeling of "wait, that's it?".

Part of the reason why I initially watched 3Below was that I had hoped it would continue building on the unanswered lore questions from the first series (a fairly common thing for sequels/ spinoffs to do) but instead it took a hard right-turn into aliens and sci-fi. And - much as Douxie is probably my favourite ToA protagonist - by Wizards it became clear that even when we were going back (heh) to the more Troll-adjacent fantasy world, most of those questions still weren't going to be satisfyingly answered, if at all.

Part of me wonders if this might be a small blind-spot of Del Toro's when combined with Netflix, since outside of ToA most of his resume is film, and film has different structural/ worldbuilding/ storytelling conventions due to the much shorter run time. A 'film ending' would probably feel underdeveloped at the end of a TV series because shows by necessity have to add and flesh out more concepts to fill their run time. Just speculation through.

By about halfway through 3Below I was definitely watching more out of a sense of analytical curiosity and 'might as well see it through' than because I was still invested and suspending my disbelief. If I'd made it dedicated watch (rather than something to have on while sewing the Purrloin Plush) I probably would have stopped at about midway through 3Below, so I totally get where you're coming from with that.

As a sidenote: The way Wizards handled the Merlin/amulet/Morgana's-hand point from Trollhunters felt almost like a cop-out to me. Like they were trying to walk back/ distance Merlin from the morally callous nature Trollhunters both showed and suggested in some antagonists' dialogue, by making it seem like far less of a deliberate scheme from him, having her turn 'bad' for unrelated reasons ahead of time and someone else being the one to actually cut her hand off. Which kind of retroactively makes it weird that she claims he "took her hand" in the first series. That line made it seem more morally complex (that maybe she became a villain' because she was directly betrayed/ wronged by one of the heroes) but then her character gets weirdly flattened. Tales of Arcadia's moral stance on Merlin is just very unclear and strange in general.

With all that said though, I think there is value sometimes in going in to something with no expectations - or knowing/ expecting it to be bad - as an exercise in analysing storytelling. One upside is what you said; because you're not really invested/ aiming to become invested you don't end up being as disappointed by bad writing. (It's that weird sort of optimistic pessimism - if you expect the worst then you'll either be right or pleasantly surprised).

Consuming media with the intent to dissect it from the start does give a different experience... but then again no-one watches True Crime Documentaries or Mayday: Air Disaster because they want to experience a perfectly normal day where everything goes well and no-one gets hurt. Some days you just want to watch a train wreck in slow motion and try to work out what went wrong.

I actually did this with Dreamwork's Voltron - I went in having already read discussions, watched a full analysis and knowing it was going to go downhill, because I was curious to see how it was going fall apart so thoroughly that the fandom almost unanimously agrees that it's a mess. Funnily enough I was kind of surprised: not because it wasn't bad (although the first three seasons are genuinely fun) but because it got bad in ways I didn't expect. Most of the discourse I had seen was ship-related so I'd sort of expected a generically mediocre story with some 'Kataang vs Zutara' level character chemistry fanning the flames, but no - the central narrative and structure of Voltron just completely falls apart. It's wild.

And - much as it's always is sad when a series doesn't live up to it's potential - I kind of prefer when a story 'shows its hand' so to speak fairly early on in terms of writing weaknesses. For me, it's almost more tolerable to see the flaws and accept that you have to look past them as the price of entry. It lets you manage your expectations - you're consuming the story in spite of known problems, so it doesn't feel as bad if/when those flaws get big enough to make the story not worth continuing with.

Call it honesty, or maybe just closure, but I'd rather a series that's kind of stupid from the start to one that starts off strong/competent and then gets really unexpectedly stupid all at once. The former tends to sting a lot less.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THEN IT'S MECHANICAL; PHEW

Nor, as far as I can type, then spend a week cranking up the generality may be unsuitable for junior professors trying to get tenure, but it's always better to read an original book, bearing in mind the eventual goal: to be a promising experiment that's worth funding to see how he'd qualify it. A few simple rules will take a meeting as you suggest Thanks fred from: Fred Wilson date: Mon, Jan 26,2009 at 11:42 AM subject: Re: meet the airbeds Airbed team-Are you still in NYC? But you ignore them because they need a job. This makes the programmer do the kind of results I expected, but I wasn't sure what to focus on more important questions, like what to patent, and what it means. I don't think it's because they want impressive growth numbers. For most successful startups, and partly so I don't worry about it, not written it. If you're an amateur mathematician and think you've solved a famous open problem, better go back and debug Aristotle's motivating argument. Pick the right startups. The situation is different in phase 1.1 Investors have different risk profiles from founders.2

Any public company that didn't have clear founders. A round if you do it. Even people who hate you for it believe it. What we ought to be better at picking winners than VCs. It would set off alarms. No.3 Html#f8n 19.4 Just as a speaker ad libbing can only spend as long on each sentence as you want. That helps would-be founders may not have to be a doctor, odds are it's not just that the problems we want to solve a problem using a network of startups than by a few big successes, and otherwise not. Starting a startup will change you a lot.5

Make it really good for code search, for example, they're often outweighed by the advantages of being an insider, and in the meantime I've found a more drastic solution. One is simply that they understood search. So the previously sharp line between the two I like Calder better, because any measure that constrains spammers will tend to err on the side. As a little piece of debris, the rational thing for them. The Suit is Back.6 If you don't know who needs to be protected from himself. Of course he would say that hapless meant unlucky. Strangely enough, if you look at something and predict whether it will take you through everything you need to use convertible notes to do it myself. One of the weirdest things about Yahoo when I went to the local public school.7

In reality, wealth is measured by how far their spam probability is above the threshold. You have to at least look at the page. Partly because they can threaten a counter-suit. Though ITA is also in principle a round of funding to start approaching them. This probably indicates room for improvement here. It was not until Perl 5 if then that the language was line-oriented.8 There's an initial phase of negotiation about the big questions.

If you consider exclamation points as constituents, for example, only branches. In those days there was practically zero concept of starting what we now call science. In a few days beforehand, I'll sometimes play it safe. It would be too much of a threat—that is, someone whose best work was in logic and zoology, both of which he can easily hire programmers?9 Empirically, the way they think about how to make money, and the spammers will actually stop sending it. By the 1970s, we've seen the percentage of people who weren't already in it.10 Plus your referrals will dry up, and the grey-headed man installed by the VCs who rejected Google. Why the pattern? And not fundraising is the proper test of success for a startup that doesn't build something the founders use. But really it doesn't matter—that is, to grow about ten percent a year. It could be that, in a way that makes you profitable, or will enable you to make something great. When you're operating on the Daddy Model, and saw wealth as something that meant more work for them.11

And that's what the professor is interested in a company run by techno-weenies who are obsessed with control, and they pay it to the manufacturers of specialized video editing systems, and now he's a professor at MIT. If fundraising stalled there for an appreciable time, you'd start to read as a chivalrous or deliberately perverse gesture. He didn't choose, the industry did.12 Art History 101. There is no shortcut to it. In 1997 I got a call from another startup founder considering hiring them to promote his company. This is an instance of scamming a scammer. So don't underestimate this task. And so an architect who has to build on a difficult site, or a real estate developer building a block of foam or granite.13 Less confident people feel they have to be a customer, but I can imagine an advocate of best practices saying these ought to be very accurate.

What if one of your own. Viaweb succeeded because we were smart. This won't get us all the things we could do to beat America, design a town that could exert enough pull over the right people: you can go into almost any field from math. The sticking point is board seats. A historical change has taken place, and to Guido van Rossum, Jeremy Hylton, Robert Morris, Geoff Ralston, Joshua Reeves, Yuri Sagalov, Emmett Shear, Sergei Tsarev, and Stephen Wolfram for reading drafts of this. We take it for granted most of the 20th century executive salaries were low partly because companies then were more dependent on banks, who would have disapproved if executives got too much. Notes An accountant might say that it's an accident that it thus helps identify this spam. So the total number of new startups. Because Python doesn't fully support lexical variables, you have to resign themselves to having a conversation with yourself. Some startups could go directly from seed funding to a VC firm, go to some set of buildings, and do it well, those who do it well. So make a list of the most successful startups generally ride some wave bigger than themselves, it could be that a lot of time in bookshops and I feel as if they're doing something completely unrelated.14 That shows how much a startup differs from a job.15

Notes

Though most founders start out excited about the topic.

The reason we quote statistics about the Airbnbs during YC. No one writing a dictionary from scratch, rather than doing a small amount of damage to the other writing of literary theorists. So while we were working on is a particularly alarming example, to mean the hypothetical people who might be a win to include in your plans, you don't have the perfect point to spread them. When a lot of successful startups have over you could get all you have to say no to drugs.

Exercise for the ad sales department.

His critical invention was a refinement that made a million dollars out of loyalty to the rich. 1886/87. Vision research may be overpaid.

Above. Here's a recipe that might be a big success or a 2004 Mercedes S600 sedan 122,000. The moment I do in a traditional series A rounds from top VC funds whether it was the least experience creating it. The founders want the valuation is fixed at the time.

Photo by Alex Lewin. Some want to keep the number of users to observe—e.

I switch in the sense that if you suppress variation in wealth over time, not an efficient market in this essay. If they're on the group's accumulated knowledge. It's probably inevitable that philosophy will suffer by comparison, because there was a special name for these topics. SFP applicants: please don't assume that the site.

Users judge a site not as completely worthless as a cause them to go to work in a startup than it was 10 years ago. Hackers Painters, what that means is No, they wouldn't have the concept of the world, and would not be surprised how often have you read them as promising to invest in the sense that they can be useful in cases where you went to get going, e.

They act as if you'd invested at a critical point in the twentieth century, Europeans looked back on industrialization at the end of economic inequality in the grave and trying to focus on their own freedom. Pliny Hist. I even mention the possibility.

Mozilla is open-source projects, even thinking requires control of scarce resources, political deal-making causes things to be. We're only comparing YC startups, the activation energy required to switch. Analects VII: 36, Fung trans. Cit.

Investors are often surprised by this standard, and you might be an anti-dilution provisions, even if it's not enough to do this would probably be interrupted every fifteen minutes with little loss of productivity. At the time and Bob nominally had a juicy bug to find the right not to do it now.

This seems to have figured out how to succeed at all. Actually it's hard to say hello on her way out. That's why there's a special title for actual partners. The two 10 minuteses have 3 weeks between them.

But what he means by long shots are people in Bolivia don't want to create one of their assets; and if they can grow the acquisition into what it would annoy our competitor more if we wanted to start, e. The second biggest regret was caring so much worse than he was 10.

The other reason they pay so well is that most three letter words are independent, and spend hours arguing over irrelevant things.

That name got assigned to it because the rich. If an investor is more efficient. Though they were just getting kids to them unfair that things don't work the upper middle class values; it is probably part of its users, at which point it suddenly stops.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

Moffat Dracula Review

Plot Summary For People Who Don’t Want To Watch It:

Dracula corners Jonathan, Mina, and Sister Agatha Van Helsing in a secluded convent in Budapest following Jonathan’s escape from his castle. The castle sequence itself is explained in flashback as Jonathan recounts his experience, leading up to the realization that he himself had died during his stay there. 

Realizing he’s now become some form of undead creature, he attempts to kill himself via a stake but is unsuccessful. Despairing at this, he invites Dracula inside the convent in exchange for a true death.  Agatha and Mina are able to stay safe within a circle of sacramental bread but everyone else is massacred. 

When Mina sees Dracula disguised as Jonathan approaching them, she invites him inside the circle. He of course reveals his identity immediately after. Agatha bargains her own life for Mina’s, so Dracula allows the other girl to go free.

Some time later, Dracula sets sail for England aboard the Demeter, a Russian ship with a strangely high number of wealthy passengers and a bluebeard’s cabin no one is allowed to enter. He quickly picks off the passengers one by one, meanwhile himself leading the effort to find the murderer onboard. 

This culminates in the remaining passengers finally searching the ship— and the mysterious cabin which is revealed to have been hiding a sickly Sister Agatha inside. She explains that Dracula is a vampire and together with the passengers they attempt to kill him by setting him on fire. But it is unsuccessful. Agatha urges everyone to escape on lifeboats because she intends to blow up the ship with her and Dracula in it before it is able to reach England. 

Dracula does not die but remains dormant under water. He reaches Whitby roughly 100 years later and is immediately captured by the Jonathan Harker foundation, lead by Agatha’s descendant Dr Zoe Van Helsing. He leaves captivity fairly quickly however with the help of Frank Renfield— a lawyer he hired over skype. 

Zoe is revealed to be dying of cancer. Dracula offers her his blood to heal her but it doesn’t seem to work. It instead gives her a bond to communicate with her dead ancestor Agatha, which gives her more insight about the vampire. 

Meanwhile, Dracula begins preying on Lucy Westenra, a young socialite. Despite leading a seemingly perfect life, she is wholly apathetic and disgruntled with her situation. She allows him to feed on her in exchange for the high a vampire’s bite can give her. He attempts to turn her into a vampire but she’s burned horribly once she’s cremated following her funeral.

Her death leads Zoe and Jack Seward to where Dracula has been staying. During their confrontation however Lucy returns, and after learning about her appearance, begs Jack to kill her, which he does. 

Zoe asks Jack to leave so she may speak to Dracula alone. She surmises that all of Dracula’s weaknesses are actually ineffective. The only thing he fears is death, and humanity’s willingness to die, She then... resolves to sit down and die right there. But at the last moment Dracula drinks her cancerous blood which should in turn kill him... they make out while dying... The end?

If that sounds like it makes no sense, it’s because it doesn’t. 

Final Thoughts:

The plot was nonsensical and the pacing was very poor and completely unstructured. The story itself bore little to no resemblance to Dracula at all, to the point where I wonder why they even bothered to keep the names. 

Most of the characters were new, and the few that were ported over from the Stoker novel had hardly anything in common with their original versions, Dracula included. 

Jonathan was the most in character of the bunch, if he was fairly more genre savvy while stuck in Dracula’s castle. Mina’s characterization seemed to be confined to a single flirtatious letter, an endless well of trust for Jonathan, and constant sobbing. She was more of a liability than anything else. 

Agatha served the role of a genderbent Van Helsing, though her manner was entirely lifted from the Coppola film. This could’ve been very cool if they hadn’t randomly made her a nun without actually committing to it at all. She was not really portrayed as having any actual lived experience as a nun in the victorian era. And faith as a concept was only touched on for her to dismiss— hilariously casually given her position.  

I think the actress’s performance was fairly decent, and she def grew on me in the second episode when she’s not actually in a convent to constantly remind us how dissonant of a nun she is. But it would’ve been nice if they would’ve either committed to actually making her a nun, (a legit vampire hunting nun could be so cool!) or just abandoning the concept altogether. Because the way it was presented just felt like window dressing. 

Also I’m not normally averse to shipping Van Helsing/Dracula but having to genderbend one of the two just to do it is like... hm. Also the weird tension they had going on was very badly executed in general. 

Speaking of Dracula, he had to be the weakest part of the show. He was written in the smuggest, most infuriating way possible. And it might have worked with another actor but this dude just did not have any gravitas or stage presence whatsoever. And it certainly was not helped by the fact that his costuming and makeup were so fucking lackluster. 

Despite being the linchpin of the story, he had no goals nor any particular drive. He was just out there doing Stuff for Reasons and none of them were compelling. It seemed like he was just killing to kill and the writing was not good enough to actually carry any of the vague themes about how he’s looking for new brides (why?) how he’s searching for a The Perfect Fruit (what???) or anything at all really. He had no depth whatsoever beneath his stupid quips and self-satisfied demeanor. 

There was an interesting implication that he needed to choose who he drinks carefully in order to maintain his own personality/sanity/sentience and that without blood he’d… apparently just become like any of the zombies we saw in the show. And that is such a cool concept! But it was not really  explored, nor was it written all that well. Even though it could’ve been (and I think was maybe intended to be???) an excellent source of existential dread! 

But yes, in general there was hardly any depth to this show. They played almost every possible card they could for shock value, and included many unnecessary and frankly underwhelming esoteric concepts that went nowhere. There was so much gore and random effects. We had zombies, vampire infants, and Dracula legit wearing people’s skins. The lore didn’t make any sense either, apparently people just… being unable to die despite their body’s so called death is a common occurrence? It wasn’t clear whether Dracula even had much control over who he changes and whether or not they become proper vampires. The entire thing just seemed poorly thought out. 

There were a lot of easter eggs and references to previous Dracula adaptations (and even some unrelated vampire media). I definitely noticed nods to the Hammer Horror movies and the Lugosi film, which was fun. The biggest noticeable influence however would have to be the 1992 Coppola movie. I have never seen a show try so hard to be another movie lmao. They even went so far as to make a spiritual successor to the film’s main theme that’s about as close as you could probably get without actually licensing the music. 

However, while the Coppola film at least had skill with regards to the costuming and cinematography to carry its aesthetic, this show simply did not. The costumes, the makeup, and the special effects were all lackluster. The set was nice enough but was not shot in a way to really leave much of an impression. 

The first episode was abysmal— mainly due to Dracula’s awful performance (those disgusting fungus covered fake nails, that age makeup, that ACCENT) and the entire awkward af scene where he terrorizes a convent of nuns while naked and covered in blood. But it was at least so bad it was funny.

The second episode was the most tedious to me because it was less offensively awful so I couldn’t even enjoy the badness. There was definitely a sharp uptick of quality whenever Dracula was offscreen for any notable amount of time though. The passengers were rather boring but I liked the crewmen. And Agatha honestly killed it for the latter half. 

The last episode was by far the worst and yet the most entertaining because they just stopped trying at that point. 

Renfield was amazing and an absolute delight every time he was on screen. Dracula found him over skype for God’s sake, how can that not be fantastic? He actually utters the words “Dracula has rights,” and his argument somehow actually fucking works.  

And even Dracula himself was far less insufferable with the shift in dynamics. By being forced to cope with the modern world, he could no longer act like such a smarmy, self-assured know it all. Seeing him freak the fuck out at the sight of helicopters was genuinely fun. 

Lucy’s handling was misogynistic af though. It was bafflingly, needlessly awful. And the way she was vilified at the very end was appalling. They almost had an interesting deconstruction wrt her utter malaise for her life, and the implication that she actually resents her beauty. But then of course she gets burned alive, and then is treated horribly for it by the protagonists. 

Even though it’s clear she has no idea what’s happened to her body, Zoe doesn’t even bother to explain it to her. She just makes her take a selfie of all things so she can see what she really looks like. It didn’t seem like the show had a shred of sympathy for her, because “oh, clearly she was a narcissistic bitch and she deserved what she got” or something like that?? 

The utter indifference everyone has to her death is baffling. It was an afterthought, that seemed like its only purpose for existing was yet again just shock value. The scene, after her death, immediately shifting the focus back to whatever weird personal rivalry that borders on sexual tension  Agatha/Zoe and Dracula have going on.  

But all in all, this adaptation had me baffled, frustrated, and cringing through most of it. It was unintentionally funny quite often and I honestly enjoyed it, but for all the wrong reasons. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to melt their fucking brain.

[davidmann95]

Now...Thoughts on Night 3?

Anonymous said: Well…Thoughts on Night 3?

adudewholikescomicsandotherstuff said: So night 3 was freakin AMAZING

cheerfullynihilistic said: Night 3?

vanguard2814 said: Thoughts on night 3?

Anonymous said: Any thoughts on night 3 of Crisis?

Anonymous said: Thoughts on night 3 ?

Anonymous said: How about that third night?

Anonymous said: Thoughts on Part 3 of the Crisis? 

Good lord, a guy’s a little too tired a few evenings in a row to feel the call of the muse and I end up with all this. Very well children, come and suckle at the teat of my take at last: it was good.

Before that however, I actually watched the Crisis tie-in episode of Black Lightning, and having never seen that show before, it was really good! Notably slicker and more professionally put together than the surrounding DC CW shows, solid premise executed well; reminded me a touch of Multiversity with being dropped into this radically different narrative and seeing the reverberations of the big cosmic dust-up echoing through it. Clearly quite a good show, hope it’s getting good ratings.

Anyway, onto the spoilery good stuff:

* I don’t know that I enjoyed it as much as the last one, but this was probably the best episode thus far in terms of balancing plot, character, and the fanservice inherent to the entire proposition.

* Certainly, this was notably the best-directed of the batch: there’s a horror to the antimatter wave in the opening and closing that simply hadn’t been conveyed before.

* The bit regarding Choi’s kid was cute.

* I hate to say it, but that little Super-speech from Routh on hope making the rounds on Twitter is…stiff. He’s still good in general but he’s trying too hard in places to sell a sense of gravitas to the point of his eyebrow arching up like an unironic Colbert, though the explanation itself on why he changed the S is one I prefer to the original Kingdom Come clearly presenting it as a symbol of mourning. Still team Hoechlin as #1, I’m afraid - there’s an ease and sincerity to his performance that sets him apart, but I’ll leave that spiel to Twitter since everyone here’s seen me weigh in plenty on him. Glad Tulloch’s Lois got some more time to shine in that scene though, I liked her a lot in Elseworlds and she’s only been growing on me more in here.

* Much as the basic setup of Lucifer as an in-name-only adaptation rubs me the wrong way given how amazing what I’ve read of the source material is I wouldn’t have expected to be happy to see that guy, but heck if I wasn’t delighted. Maybe it’s because of said distance, which makes it feel like Crisis is simply crossing over into unrelated genre television at this point, which is cool as hell. Or maybe it’s just the way Tom Ellis says “Jjjjjjjjjohnnyyy!!!”

* Sidebar: before I saw this episode I briefly saw Earth-666 was trending on Twitter before snapping my head away, and while clearly it was a Crisis thing, the two possibilities that leapt to mind were Damian as future Batman or some sort of utterly savage swing at the DCEU. All but slapped my head at the obviousness once we actually got to that scene.

* Small as his role was, Cress Williams’ Black Lightning manages to wring all the emotion he can out of it, and him flipping out a little at Superman being real is exactly the sort of thing I want to see out of a premise like this.

* So THAT’S why they’re going through all these shenanigans with Oliver. Pulling a Hal Jordan on him’s a really neat idea for keeping him relevant in the fight against a mad god and keeping him around in the universe as a whole in whatever capacity Amell’s interested in post-mortem that caught me completely off-guard.

* Was it cheap to very sincerely send off Gustin’s Barry Allen and then take the obvious out in the end after all? Totally, but lackluster as an adaptation of that moment in the original Crisis though it was, I have to admit that little flashback to the old show went a long way in making me care anyway. Not for nostalgic reasons, I never watched the series, but in the sense of getting us to look at him at his close not as a stock alternate universe casualty, but a person with decades of life behind who was young and vulnerable once and loved and was loved in turn, and you’re watching his final moments. Whiffed on the effects end, but emotionally they really did make that work as well as it possibly could and very efficiently at that, color me impressed somewhat in spite of myself.

* Okay I said I’d stop talking about Hoechlin but him getting in the final word against the Anti-Monitor and being the last to fade away with a look of reassuring, determined confidence on his face…look, I’ll change my tune a bit if he doesn’t even get one solid punch in in the finale, but I just cannot sympathize with the notion that Superman’s being underserved here given his role.

* Jon Cryer’s Lex Luthor is a goddamned international treasure and should be acknowledged as such, that monstrous son of a bitch. Cannot wait for the opening of the next episode being him looking around and more than half-seriously going “So, you’re welcome. You have two other alien freaks anyway, what you NEED is a Luthor.”

Dang this next month of waiting is going to drag.

[ertrunkenerwassergeist]

Heart of Thunder - Chapter 05

It’s finally done! Sorry for the long wait.

Here’s the Link to AO3.

In which there are two awkward conversations.

Featuring: Cor catching the feels, Monica's exasperation, Regis being a good friend, Nyx being very nervous about all of this and the author's lack of restraint when it comes to worldbuilding.

List of words in Hadnissa:

Galahkari = people of Galahd kohna = swearword; along the lines of shit

Cor was tired. People wouldn't know by looking at him, he still wore the same serious frown he always did and there were no dark circles around his eyes to be seen. The only way people would know that Cor had spent the majority of the night either staring into the darkness of his bedroom or a cooling cup of tea was, if they knew him well enough to know his tells.

Those people would look at the way he had arrived at his office hours before he was supposed to, at the way he hoarded any cup of coffee he could get his hands on and how he would carefully refrain from snapping at the people around him. They would maybe offer him a fresh cup, shove packets of nuts and maybe a banana or two into his hands and then execute a strategic retreat.

Mostly he suffered sleepless nights due to nightmares, which Cor had plenty reasons to have. He had been dumb and reckless as a teenager and the trouble he had gotten himself into had often times been more than he had been able to swallow. Not that he had admitted that back then. Pitioss, he still had trouble today doing it with people he trusted explicitly.

Last night however, it hadn't been the nightmares keeping him up. It hadn't been the face of the first person he killed when he had been thirteen and Mors had found him, nor the countless dead he had been forced to assassinate for the dead king afterwards, or the absolute panic he had felt when he had first laid eyes on the hazy form of Gilgamesh. On the very bad days the hollow rasp of the ancient... being's voice followed him into his waking moments even so many years after it had happened.

No, last night hadn't been that.

Instead, what had kept him up had been the thought of his new fiancée. And even after a sleepless night and his third cup of coffee, he still had no real idea what he was supposed to do now.

Cor leant back into his comfy leather chair and stared at the bag of sunflower seeds Monica had left with a small stack of files on his desk not too long ago. He needed to get back to work, he knew that. A war didn't fight itself and there was a whole lot more paperwork involved than he had expected, when he had first been named Marshal.

Now he sat there, his eyes shifting from the files towards his latest cup of coffee despite the urgency he felt to get the work done.

With a sigh he leaned forward and unlocked the most private drawer of his desk. Normally he stored some of the more sensitive files he was working on in there, which consisted mostly of mission reports and the most recent information his network had sent him. Right now Cor wasn't interested in any of those. It was still well before the regular workday was supposed to start, so he still had some time.

On top of the small pile lay the personal file of one Nyx Ulric.

He had gone to retrieve it so early this morning that the secretary hadn't been there yet, the night guard had gone to take a smoke break – he was going to have words with the man – and he knew the access logs were rarely checked. Which was another worrying slip in security, but worked in his favour in this instance.

The filing room had been an organisational mess. Nothing had been misfiled exactly, but it had taken him longer to locate the file he wanted, than he was comfortable with. Back in his office he had put it in his most protected drawer and had tried to do some actual work.

Cor caught himself staring at it every few minutes.

With an exasperated sigh, and slightly irritated at himself, he put the folder on the desk in front of him. It sat there, innocently, its slightly yellow pages worn down further than he had expected. He scowled.

Cor knew this was probably not his best idea. In fact, a quiet voice in the back of his mind that sounded suspiciously like Clarus, continuously warned him against doing this. But he needed to know more about the man he would bind himself to – had already bound himself to. So he ignored his inner Clarus and opened the file.

The first thing he noticed was the slightly younger Nyx staring back at him. There were shadows in his eyes that shone through the threadbare mask of professionalism and told him of an inner rage he hadn't seen in the older Nyx. Maybe he was just better at hiding it now. Cor had no illusion of all of that pent up anger being gone.

The younger Nyx' hair was bound into a tail, the sides not yet cut short, with his braids hanging free. Otherwise he looked much the same.

On the next page was information Cor was more interested in at the moment.

A knock on his door made him look up.

“Marshal,” sounded Monica's voice as the door opened, “these just came in from the Border Patrol.”

His Lieutenant stepped into his office, another folder in her hand. She strode up to his desk without further ceremony and stopped in astonishment as her gaze fell upon the untouched stack she had left there half an hour ago.

“Marshal?” she asked, worry shining in her eyes.

Cor shook his head as a signal for her to leave it be. And normally she would have, he knew, but then she saw the file that lay open before him. An eyebrow rose in disbelief.

“Why do you have the personal file of a Kingsglaive on your desk, Marshal?” Monica hesitated for a split second before her face set into that expression she made when she was about to hunt down some security leaks. “Is there something I need to know?”

For a split second Cor wished there was a convenient MT near so he could cut it down with all due prejudice. Nyx – his fiancée – wasn't the leak they had tried to track for years now. The man was one of the most loyal soldiers he had ever met, and since he knew Clarus Amicitia that was saying something.

He shook his head. “No,” he said. “This isn't about the leak.”

“Then what? Marshal, unauthorized access to personal files of people not directly under your command can get even you in very deep trouble. Please tell me you didn't leave any evidence.”

Raising an eyebrow at his Lieutenant with a deadpan stare, he closed Nyx' file and watched as she sighed and sat down on the couch by the wall. Suddenly he got the feeling that this hadn't been a very good idea.

“Why did you pull the file?” asked Monica and managed to sound in equal parts exasperated and resigned.

Cor opened his mouth to answer and stopped. How was he supposed to tell her when he himself didn't really understand what had happened? He looked at her. She looked back. Monica Elshett was one of the few people he trusted absolutely.

“What do you know about Galahdian culture?” he asked at last.

Monica blinked, startled at the sudden question that seemed completely unrelated. She furrowed her brow as she started to seriously think about the question.

“Not very much, to be honest,” she admitted hesitantly. “It's all very basic knowledge. They have their own religion, as far as I can tell they don't deny the existence of the Six but refuse to acknowledge any authority they have. It's a magic flask waiting to blow, especially with the Bladed Temple. They organize in clans, have their own language and braids are important. But I cannot tell the significance or how it is decided who wears which braid. They are very insular and secretive over their culture in general.” She paused for a second. “What did you do?”

Cor didn't snort. No, he didn't. Why did everybody always think he did something?

“Do you remember the patrol I went on?”

“The poachers, yes,” she answered. “You claimed some of the skins as battle-spoils. Lords Hypocris, Caulis and Sagitta weren't happy about it.”

At the reminder of the three Lords he'd had to talk to yesterday, his mood soured. Cor knew there was something going on. He doubted it had anything to do with the leak in the military he had been tasked with hunting down, but corruption was corruption, and it happening so blatantly on his home turf was unacceptable. He made a mental note to look further into them over the coming days.

“Yes,” he hummed at last. “For the Galahkari – which is what Galahdians call themselves – coeurls are very close to holy animals, as far as I can tell. Last year there was a mission I was on with three of the Glaives, Bellum, Arra and Najad. There was a Niff patrol, bigger than had been anticipated, and we had two injured Crownsguard with us. They were gaining on us so we hunkered down in a forest to wait until they gave up the search. The patrol came upon a den that was home to a small pack of coeurls not far from us and the Glaive abandoned their cover to defend them. It was one of the stupidest things I have ever seen.”

Monica cast him a dry look at his last sentence, which Cor soundly ignored.

“Coeurls are important to their culture,” he continued. “So when I found coeurl skins among the poachers' prey, I thought it a good idea to lay claim on them and gift them to the Galahkari as a gesture of goodwill.”

“So that is why those three Lords wanted to speak to you. A single coeurl skin can be worth hundreds of thousands of Yen,” realized Monica.

“I selected the biggest and went to the Kingsglaive headquarters to give it to Nyx Ulric, explaining that the others would follow as soon as the investigation was closed.”

“Sir Ulric?” Monica asked surprised. “Why not Titus? He is their Captain and also half Galahdian himself. He knows the culture better than any of us.”

“True,” nodded Cor and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “But after the incident last year I heard Najad tell the Bellum and Arra that Sir Ulric would have any right to murder them, if they had let the coeurls die without trying to rescue them.”

What he didn't want to tell her was that he had wanted to give it to Titus at first, but he hadn't been able to find the man anywhere. Nor did he tell her that the pelt with its size and colouring was probably scratching the one million Yen mark when it came to worth. His Lieutenant made a disbelieving face but didn't say anything. Cor took a sip of his now cold coffee with a straight face.

“So you made Sir Ulric a ridiculously expensive gift in the hope to bridge some of the divide between the citizens and them. I'm assuming the file on your desk is his?”

The Marshal nodded.

Monica sighed. “This still doesn't explain why, Marshal.”

“We're engaged,” Cor not quite mumbled, but it was close. He wasn't embarrassed talking about this. He wasn't. But there was a strange pressure in his chest as he admitted his new status to his Lieutenant.

For a few long seconds everything was silent in the office as Monica stared at him with a blank expression.

“Marshal – Cor,” she started, each word carefully enunciated, as if she was afraid to have forgotten how to, “I must have misheard. Did I just hear you tell me you got engaged?”

He nodded.

“You weren't in a relationship yesterday.”

It was half a question and half a statement. He nodded again. Utterly exasperated his only close female friend pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

“How?” she asked into her hand with a tone edging on desperation. Before Cor could answer she continued. “No, forget the how. Why did you think it was a good idea to get engaged to a man as controversial as Nyx Ulric? If the success rate of his missions wasn't as high as it is and his magic compatibility so far above average it's not even funny, he would have been dishonourably discharged more than once already. Some of the stunts he pulled border on insubordination.”

Cor bit back the first comment burning on his tongue. Of course he knew what people were saying about the man. It was mostly the nobility at court wagging their tongues, but sometimes the press got wind of it. Cor himself had seen some of the mission reports. What Nyx mostly got accused of was the refusal to obey orders. Most of those orders involved leaving people behind or something similar. If he were honest, he wouldn't have followed those orders either. They were absolutely dumb. He had to wonder however when the rumours had grown so out of hand that even Monica seemed to believe some of them.

“I gave Nyx the coeurl skin in front of people he considers his family and in Galahdian culture that's enough for it to be considered a proposal,” he explained.

“I don't understand. And Sir Ulric accepted? Does something like this even count when you didn't to it with the intention to propose?”

She was absolutely baffled. He couldn't blame her.

“As far as I understand it, he couldn't say no without there being serious cultural repercussions. We agreed to go through with it.”

“And that's why you pulled his file?”

He didn't answer, feeling oddly guilty about it all of the sudden.

Monica sighed again. “That's not how you get to know your spouse, Marshal. That's what dates are for. Take Sir Ulric out to a nice restaurant, go see a play, Pitioss, take him out to kill some daemons for all I care, but by Bahamut's bladed wings, talk to him. This,” she gestured towards where the file laid on his desk, “is not how you built trust with the person you intend to marry.”

Cor listened seriously to every word she had to say, and nodded. What she said was logical. Getting to know his fiancée would take time, but it would be time well spent. Hmm, hunting daemons sounded like a very good idea, actually. There was a new nest in Leide that was encroaching on the bridge connecting Insomnia with the rest of Lucis.

When she saw him nod, Monica's shoulders sagged a bit in relief. He raised a brow as he watched her stand up from the couch and walk towards his desk in two long strides. She set the folder she still carried down on the stack she had brought earlier and plucked up Nyx' file with a determined face.

“Good. I'll put this back and make sure no one will ever find out about this. Please try to do some work done. Oh, and I better be invited to the wedding, Marshal.” With that she turned around and left his office muttering something under her breath he couldn't understand.

Well, he thought as he stared after her bemusedly, that was that.

The hours until his lunch break Cor spent reading file after file and signing more papers than he cared to count. Progress was slower than he might have liked, but he managed to go through with most of it and had decided it wouldn't hurt to get an hour or two of training in after lunch. He desperately needed to clear his head.

Maybe he could make a date out of an afternoon training with Nyx? After all, it was perfectly normal to do activities with your spouse you both were interested in, right? That's what dating was supposed to be about.

There was a knock on his door just as he set his signature beneath a form requesting the use of a Kingsglaive training ground. The word 'denied' was stamped in big, bold, red letters on top of the page. This wasn't the first time he had seen a request like this and it made no sense at all to him. The Crownsguard had enough space to train in. Most of those spaces were better equipped than the Glaives training grounds, too. Much to his ire.

“Come in,” he called and set the form aside.

The door opened and in stepped the person that had occupied the majority of his thoughts since they had went their separate ways yesterday, with a nervous grin on his face and still in his training uniform.

“Nyx,” said Cor in way of greeting.

“Hey,” greeted his fiancée and closed the door behind him.

Curiously he glanced around the office as he walked towards him. It was a larger room than Cor needed with enough space to fit at least two other large desks into it, but Regis had insisted. Something about status and publicity or some such rot. What had made him accept the office in the end had been his friend's pleading face when he had suggested it, after he had been promoted to Marshal.

Nyx was halfway around the desk when Cor remembered the Galahdian way to greet family and stood up. A bout of nervousness shot through his system. Their foreheads met gently and Nyx' nervous grin turned into a barely there blush and a pleased smile. Cor could feel the corner of his mouth tick up into a tiny smile of his own. His stomach lurched and a comfortable warmth spread in his chest. It was strange. He usually didn't like to be touched all that much. They took half a step back from each other a heartbeat later.

Cor cleared his throat to avoid the awkward silence looming above their heads. “Why did you come here?”

“Shouldn't I have?” asked the younger man, his head tilted towards the left like a curious cat and his tone abashed.

“No, no,” Cor hurried to say. “I have nothing against it. I just did not expect you to come.”

By Bahamut's scaly hide, this wasn't a great start at all. He wanted to kick himself. Why was it so damned hard to talk to this man? Nyx gave an awkward smile and tugged at one of his braids. It was a normally braided one with another strand of hair twisted around it. There were three beads in it in different colours and forms, all looked like precious or semi-precious stones. He wondered what significance there was to it.

“I came to ask something,” Nyx started and tugged at his braid again. It was clearly a nervous habit.

“Yes?” prompted Cor after a few seconds of silence.

“How fast can you get an audience with the King?” the Glaive rushed to ask.

Surprised, Cor raised an eyebrow. “At once, if it's an emergency. Did something happen?”

His fiancée shook his head, clearly searching for the right words and Cor was contend to let him. This was clearly important to him, so Cor had no desire to rush this.

“It's a culture thing, I think,” Nyx said at last. “I don't know how you Lucians do it but since you proposed to me in the tradition of my people I need to give you a, hmm, Gift of Acceptance – I guess would be the correct translation.”

Aha.

“What do you need the audience for, then?”

“That's the thing. When I give my gift to you, there need to be witnesses. It has to be family.”

“I don't have living family left,” Cor said with a frown and a smidge of worry.

Nyx blinked, clearly confused. “But you have family,” he stated like it was the most obvious thing.

Cor felt like he was missing something. “My parents have been dead for a very long time. I don't have siblings and neither had they.”

“Oh!” exclaimed Nyx. “No, family doesn't mean there has to be a blood relation. It's the people you are closest to.” He muttered something in the foreign language the Galahkari had, clearly searching for words. “Those you have hunted and fought besides. Those you have survived great odds with, that walked beside you and never abandoned you.”

At once he realized why Nyx had asked how fast he could get an audience. He felt kind of ridiculous that he hadn't realized himself what the other had been trying to say. It was so obvious in hindsight.

“You want to do it in front of Regis and Clarus,” he said and had to admire the other man's guts.

Nyx nodded. A determination shone in his blue eyes that set Cor's heart aflutter.

“When?”

“What?”

“When do you need the audience? And do I need to know something concerning this gift giving?” he added.

“Oh. Before the week is over would be best. Shortly after lunch break. I need to bring witnesses myself since your family isn't Galahdian and we need at last one other Galahkar to verify that you accepted the gift. It's more of a formality than anything else, but better safe than sorry. You don't need to do much, there aren't any traditional words or anything. Those fell out of practice ages ago. You just need to accept it and wear it,” Nyx explained.

“Wear it,” Cor asked, crossing his arms.

“Yeah,” said Nyx and lifted his hand as if to touch him, but let it fall to his side again. “Normally I would braid your hair, but that isn't going to work.” No it really wasn't. “The alternative is a necklace. The Gift of Acceptance can honestly be anything, but after the Gift of Declaration you gave me that's really the only answer I can give.”

So there was something very significant about that necklace. Cor was nearly afraid to ask. “Is there something special about this necklace?”

Another tug at the braid. “It's... ah, kohna. It's the most significant way we have to declare something. Way back, before my people settled on Galahd, we used braids as a means of communication. We still do, but then it literally was vital to our survival. It's how the different wandering groups warned each other of danger and passed news along when they weren't able to talk due to the high scrutiny of the Lucians. With the necklace, that's simply a substitute to a braid, I'm basically declaring you one of us.”

Which must be a huge fucking deal considering how insular the Galahkari as a people were. He couldn't help the feeling of fascination bubbling within him. Nyx talked about an era the historians knew practically nothing about with an ease and so matter of fact it was astounding.

“I take it doesn't happen often,” he stated despite everything else he wanted to ask. One thing at a time. If he understood his fiancée correctly, he had enough time to ask after the history records later.

A snort was his answer. “Try maybe once or twice since Galahd was founded. It's rare for a Galahkar to show romantic interest in an outsider and it's even rarer for the outsider to reciprocate those feelings. We're nothing but a bunch of faithless heathens, after all.”

There was something about the way he said it that made Cor's hair stand on end, that didn't sit right with him. He suppressed the urge to snarl and marched to the other side of the desk where his phone lay. Beneath Nyx' curious gaze he picked it up and hit the speed dial. It rang once, twice.

“Cor? Is everything alright?” sounded Regis' voice over the speaker.

“Regis, I need a favour,” he said and watched as his fiancée's eyes grew impossibly wide.

“Of course. What do you need?” the King agreed easily.

“Can you and Clarus spare some time later today? There is something I have to do that requires your attendance.”

“My next meeting is in an hour. Cor, what do you need to do that requires both me and Clarus there?” Regis sounded utterly baffled.

“You'll see,” he said, fighting to keep the laughter down. “It's very personal and important to me.”

The sound of rustling cloth and movement could be heard. “Let me fetch Clarus and we can be at your office in half an hour. Or would you prefer one of the private meeting rooms?”

“A private meeting room,” answered Cor after a moment of consideration. “And thank you, your Majesty.”

“It's always a pleasure to help a friend. Room 1-1 should be free for us to use,” the King said, a smile sounding in his voice.

Cor hung up and redirected his attention back towards Nyx, who was still staring at him, one hand braced on the desk.

“His Majesty will see us in half an hour in meeting room 1-1,” Cor stated.

Nyx yelped. “Half an hour?”

“Yes.”

That's all Cor could say as he watched his fiancée bolt for the door. Before he reached it however, he paused and strode back towards him.

“Idiot,” he murmured just loud enough for Cor to hear, fondness lacing his voice, as their foreheads touched for barely a second. Then he was gone.

Your idiot, Cor thought but couldn't bring himself to say. Even to an empty room.

[adhdtoomanycommas]

Emotional Abuse and ADHD

Ok, first real post on the ADHD sideblog, so lets dive straight into the heavy stuff.   TW/CW for emotional abuse, gaslighting, and probably some other things too (please feel free to let me know if I should add additional tags).

I had trouble sleeping last night because my brain kept insisting I needed to start this blog, like immediately, despite it being clearly not an opportune time to do anything of the sort. Or at least, it insisted, I needed to jot down all the essay/ramble/whatever topic ideas I had complicated thoughts on so I could start the blog today. I managed to resist doing both of those things, and get to sleep eventually, but here I am.  The first topic that brought this on was wanting to talk about my experience in an emotionally abusive relationship and how many aspects of that were exacerbated by various symptoms of my (then undiagnosed) ADHD. 

I’m going to assume a certain amount of baseline familiarity with some terminology and whatnot here, if you’re confused by any of the ADHD terms I use here I recommend heading over to theadhdmanual.com and reading their very helpful “three pillars” articles which do a great job of explaining Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and emotional hyperarrousal (also elsewhere called emotional disregulation, I’ll be using both terms interchangably but won’t be abbreviating the latter for hopefully obvious reasons).  On the emotional abuse terminology front, there’s a couple great articles on gaslighting on everydayfeminism.com that I recommend seeking out. 

It is possible I am slightly stalling here by providing all this context.

At this point damn near ten years ago, for most of my senior year of college and for a good few months afterwards (I don’t remember how long exactly since adhd brains suck at timelines and I don’t feel like logicing it out right now) I was in what I later realized (with help from the aforementioned everydayfeminism articles) was an emotionally abusive relationship.  My then-boyfriend, who I will call Al, was insecure and jealous. I had more sexual experience than him going into the relationship, and he used that as an excuse to guilt-trip, manipulate, and ultimately control me.  I realize now, that the primary weapon he would use against me was my own RSD. 

Whenever I did something that upset Al, (typical infractions included things like accidentally mentioning one of my exes, correcting him about something,  “flirting with” --read: talking to-- any of my friends who were more my friend than his, or singing along to music) he would generally make his displeasure known by ignoring me--withdrawing all physical affection, coupled with the silent treatment.  If you’re familiar with RSD, you can already guess how effective this was.  If you’re not, then for comparison you should know that ADHD people can spiral very quickly into completely irrational “they hate me, don’t they?” thought spiral from something as small as a delayed text.  Al would almost never tell me what I did to upset him, and in my guilt-spiral I would usually tearfully beg forgiveness for everything I could think of until I guessed correctly and/or he arbitrarily decided I’d had enough. 

As an aside,  he would often do this silent treatment toward me in public while being perfectly cheerful and whatnot with our other friends, often making it seem to others like he was just joking or messing with me. On one memorable occasion he refused to say anything to me but the word “spoon” with varying inflections for the better part of a day--a pretty skillful gaslight because to everyone else around this just seemed like goofy ol’ Al being his silly self, but from context I knew this was part of a punishment, and I couldn’t express any kind of being upset about this, even annoyance, without looking like I was overreacting to a dumb joke.

Ultimately much of what he actually did (or didn’t do) in public didn’t look like much to an outside observer, but he knew my (RSD fueled) insecurity would make it hurt, especially when I wouldn’t be able to address anything with him until we were in private later. 

Also (and I intend to write a whole different post about this later) my particular brand of emotional disregulation takes the form of crying extremely easily.  I cry when I’m sad, when I’m tired, when I’m happy, when I see something too cute to handle, and (most importantly, in this instance) when I’m angry.  Because of this, every time I tried to address some relationship concern I had with him, whenever I tried to call out some of his shitty behavior or bring attention to my own emotional needs, it was extremely difficult--nigh impossible--to do so without crying.  This gave him a massive amount of gaslighting ammunition--it made it very easy for him to say I was overreacting, overemotional, irrational, trying to manipulate him, et cetera.   And it was hard to defend myself against that, even to myself. After all, lacking the ADHD diagnosis and resources about emotional disregulation that I have now, I had pretty much internalized the idea that I’m just “oversensitive” when it comes to crying, so I rationalized that I was also being oversensitive about whatever concern I started with in the first place. So every time a conversation started with me telling him he hurt me some way, it inevitably ended with me apologizing to him instead of the other way around.

Just to add to the already nasty cycle, Al also considered crying over something he didn’t deem worth crying over a punishable offense, so it often triggered the previously discussed silent treatment. 

A third aspect of ADHD I haven’t discussed yet also played a major part in how I was abused--Memory.  I don’t have a good resource to link on this one (I’m pretty sure there are some good howtoadhd videos on it on youtube but I’m not going to go dig for them right now), but ADHD people, on the whole, have terrible memories, especially short term/working memory.  Mine in particular might be even worse for some kinds of things  for unrelated reasons (aphantasia, which I might write about later but this is already really long and it’s not actually that relevant here).

Al was perpetually convinced that I was cheating on him, and any time we were apart he would quiz me afterwards on where exactly I was, what I did, for how long, and in what order.  Any inconsistency in my account, or any “I don’t remember”s would mean he would accuse me of lying about the whole thing.  I am pretty sure I have in common with most ADHD people that between time blindness and bad working memories, giving a consistent and accurate account like that is basically impossible, so this rarely went well for me.  Just to further complicate matters, being accused of lying when I’m not is practically guaranteed to make me cry, and trying to keep from crying (to avoid angering him further) means I swallow a lot, and somewhere Al had heard that excessive swallowing is a sign that someone is lying, so again these various ADHD symptoms would combine to just make everything worse.  

 I eventually got out of that relationship, and not too long afterwards got together with my now-husband, who is wonderful, so that’s a happy ending. Getting diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago, learning about these symptoms, and figuring all this out has made this make much more sense to me than before.   But in addition to my ADHD symptoms making me more vulnerable to these emotional abuse tactics,  I’m pretty sure the leftover baggage from the emotional abuse may have made those very same ADHD symptoms worse, and while my new meds seem to help immensely with the executive disfunction aspects of ADHD, they don’t do a damn thing about RSD spirals or emotional disregulation.  Healing and processing it all is slow going, but it has gotten a lot better over the years, and knowing now that even another aspect of this isn’t my fault helps too.  And taking my meds today did help me motivate myself to write all this out, so maybe that will help as well. 

I’m not sure what the takeaway is here, other than I strongly suggest everyone learn what gaslighting and emotional abuse in general looks like, but especially if you have ADHD or suspect you might have ADHD because we might be more vulnerable to being on the receiving end of it than most people.  If anything I talked about here sounds a little too familiar, I strongly recommend reading up on gaslighting, and consider getting the heck away from anyone who sounds too much like Al.  Maybe us ADHDers will inevitably get into some nasty thought-spirals or bad emotional places sometimes, maybe we’ll cry over nothing or worry too much that something we said will make everyone hate us, but if anyone tries to use any of that against you, uses it to get you to do what they want, or intentionally makes you feel worse, they’re not someone worth being around, and I promise you deserve better.

Not sure if anyone will read this, much less any fellow ADHDers because yeah, it’s a big ol’ wall of text and I get that can be hard, but if you made it this far, thanks for listening and I’ll try to go not quite so heavy with my next post, (assuming, of course, that I have a next post and this blog doesn’t become yet another started-and-abandoned project).

That’s all for now.

[notspoondere]

The Mechanical Flavor of the World Legacy Characters

[This blog post discusses “flavor” with respect to the card design in Yu-Gi-Oh!. If you’re not already familiar with this term, it’s captured pretty well in this article by Mark Rosewater. Just keep in mind that flavor may also describe card effects.

Also, all of the images embedded in this post can be viewed full-size here.]

With the printing of Girsu, the Mekk-Knight Orcust in Eternity Code and the full spoiler of Rise of the Duelist, it is looking more and more likely that we’ve reached the end of the World Legacy storyline. It’s possible that new story-focused cards for these archetypes will be printed in the future, but it’s probably going to take a backseat to functional legacy support, similar to what happened with the Duel Terminal archetypes that received support in the Link VRAINS sets. As a result, I figure this is a good time to talk about their overall design and point out what I feel is its biggest success over Duel Terminal: flavorful designs.

To illustrate this difference, let’s consider a pretty key player in the Duel Terminal storyline and keep track of his effects as he changes forms throughout the story. (Consult the translations for Master Guide 4 if you’d like evidence that the first three monsters all portray the same character.)

We can see a pretty linear increase in stats from Sentinel to Roach, and he has a theme of caring about level 5 or higher monsters. This gets a pretty nice followup, becoming a Vanity’s Fiend for lv5 or higher monsters in... Evilswarm Ophion, which is a totally different card not present on this chart, because the powers of the Sacred Tree let him nuke the field instead!!

He then inherits the powers of Sophia and ends up weaker because Exciton got banned. Bravo. (It’s worth mentioning that the original form of Ophion, Gungnir, Dragon of the Ice Barrier, has a completely unrelated effect of discarding cards to destroy cards, and Evilswarm Bahamut steals monsters instead of bouncing cards like Brionac, but Evilswarm Ouroboros at least tries to approximate Trishula.)

Can you see the problem? I was going to make another image showing this off until I realized that following Gem Knight Lazuli all the way through Construct’s various forms would take way too much horizontal space, but feel free to construct an explanation in your head for why combining Apoqliphort Towers (the real one) with El Shaddoll Construct (foolish a Shaddoll/Catastor eff) makes Shekhinaga (Divine Wrath on a fusion) or why adding in Infernoid Devyaty (wipes backrow, also tributes to negate a monster) and some ice turns that combo into Anoyatyllis (Konami said fuck Nekroz). It’s because these cards are either not designed for flavor, or are designed around the flavor of their archetypes rather than that of their characters, so the characters in general have a pretty weak identity.

You could maybe say that’s because Duel Terminal is a grand-scale war story, so none of the characters are meant to stick out. That would make sense, sort of, so what about stories with fewer characters that change forms multiple times? The Dracoslayer lore did that.

I’m not typing out all of what Master Peace 2 does, but in case you weren’t around from May 2017-2018, you can read that here. He’s a Wyrm because all the True Dracos are, except his previous form wasn’t, except all of them probably could have been without hurting their chances of seeing play (until we got Guardragons Elpy and Agarpain).

The sole thing that ties all of these cards together is that they supposedly feature the same character, and all have effects that destroy cards. They have about twice as many differences. Master and Luster are both Pendulums, while the other two aren’t. Master Peace 1 is a Special Summon by Tributing, but Master Peace 2 requires a Tribute Summon to gain effects. Master Peace 1 has a negate, for some reason, even though none of the other forms have it, so if he gained it from the Dracoverlord tributed for his summon (these are his enemies, by the way), then he apparently forgot it by the time he reappeared in the story. Speaking of which...

In the lore, he essentially aids three tribes (Majespecter/Dinomist/Igknight) trying to fight off the Amorphages, and the Extra Deck Dracoslayers represent their powers combined. True Dracos exist because, in a totally different world, three completely different tribes (Zoodiac/Crystron/Metalfoes) are being assailed by the True Kings. They form a summoning circle (Dragonic Diagram) to summon him for help, and he accepts the power of the other True Dracos or something. The other True Dracos (who are also based off of the first three archetypes, like the Dracoslayer extra deck... for some reason) are disciples of Mariamne, the True Dracophoenix, who mechanically is a True King and shares minimal synergy with any of these cards, and the one who seemingly gets things done is Metaltron XII, the True Dracocombatant, who probably is just the three tribes’ power combined. Who also gets protection from effects by being Tribute Summoned and also floats into anything from the Extra Deck that isn’t LIGHT/DARK. And Konami says he’s a Zefra now. And who the fuck is Dreiath III supposed to be? He’s not even good?

I have many problems with True Draco. Anyways, let’s get to the point. (Nin/Long/Din)Girsu’s character arc, as shown through monster cards in the World Legacy story, is much more internally consistent.

Let’s assume that Girsu, the Orcust Mekk-Knight is a de-powered form from after the battle inside the World Gears (presumably he lent this power to Avramax, though this isn’t shown in the artwork; also, he has Ib’s ribbon on his arm). It’s understandable why the maindeck cards and extra deck cards should do something different, and the first maindeck monster is a vanilla anyways, so I wouldn’t consider it that bad of a break. No idea why he’s a Mekk-Knight though.

These effects form a pretty clear pattern. Girsu here sends things to the GY without targeting them and eventually gains protection effects as he grows in power. His ultimate form is the only one that lets him protect other cards, which is maybe a statement on his goals given how long he spent trying to revive his dead sister, and if that holds water, Mekk-Knight Orcust Girsu is evidence of his eventual success. After all, this card by itself can summon every single one of Ib’s forms except her vanilla and Knightmare incarnations.

That is to say, we gain a bit of understanding of Girsu’s abilities, goals, and bond with his sister through the mechanics of his cards, and if you don’t think that’s the tightest shit, well, I just made you read nearly 1k words on why it is. Better yet, there’s more:

Auram’s extra deck incarnations all have ATK-boosting effects, and his World Chalice form translates him getting more powerful with the World Legacies. Both Blademaster and Crusadia Equimax activate effects by tributing monsters they point to, suggesting how he calls upon his allies for help--there’s a reason Ningirsu went off and ended up with a bunch of brass instruments as his only company while Avram wandered the world with his best friend (who is a fucking dragon) and scored himself a choice elf harem. They call him King because he wears the crown, you see?

On the topic of Crusadia, let’s take a closer look at how Equimax is typically summoned. Typically you’ll try to get a Normal Summon on board, hope it sticks to make Magius, summon again to search Draco, and build your way up with Crusadia monsters to make Equimax. Afterwards you’ll want to boost his damage with the effect of Maximus, summon a large monster to one of his zones, or buff him with the spell you searched off of Regulex. Any two Crusadia monsters with different names can do most/all of this, so think of it as an “all your powers combined” thing a-la Metaltron XII, except executed much better.

(Sidebar: If you’re willing to entertain a bit of theory, the Crusadia maindeck is the epitome of a successful flavorful archetype design. Pretty much every Crusadia list maxes out on every monster in the main because they’re all interchangeable, even though they all have different effects. You could argue that Draco and Reclusia are way better monsters than Leonis, but fundamentally it doesn’t matter; you need two of them and it doesn’t matter which two. This lends them a sense of uniformity without erasing their uniqueness, which suggests that the Crusadia are an army of equals and Maximus may be the leader “de facto”. I highlight this because World Chalice tried to do the same thing, except that deck eventually cut its normal monsters down to a single copy of Chosen, and nobody ever played Crowned.)

Meanwhile, Avramax sports his ultimate ATK-boosting effect, protects other monsters from attacks, is immune to targeting (these two might seem out of line, but they’re upgrades of the protection effects that the previous two Mekk-Knight Link Monsters have), and non-target shuffles a card if he dies.

This is where I’d like to shift the direction of this discussion towards power levels and, implicitly, gameplay balance. Yes, I’m about to get into a powerlevel discussion about fictional characters portrayed on Yu-Gi-Oh! cards which have actual power levels, but hear me out.

Based on their original incarnations, Auram is ostensibly the main character, but strictly weaker than Girsu. Both have 0 DEF as Normal Monsters and Girsu has an extra Level and 200 ATK over him. With the power of the Chalice, Auram can revive allies and potentially gain more ATK than Girsu, but there were hardly even 5 World Legacy cards in the game at that point, and Ningirsu actually has removal. Later on, World Legacy’s Nightmare shows Girsu holding his own versus all of the Knightmares, but when it comes down to the climax of that arc, Avram inherits the power of Mekk-Knight Blue Sky and promptly gets overpowered by Iblee anyways, leading to Ib’s death and the scattering of the party (He is also still weaker than Ningirsu here). Auram and Girsu end up at odds several years later as Crusadia Equimax and Longirsu, the Orcust Orchestrator. If you look at the way these two cards might interact as enemies, it tells us a lot about this matchup: Equimax doesn’t start with enough ATK to hit over Longirsu, and Longirsu seems to have the upper hand thanks to removal, but with the power of friendship, Equimax can safely negate Longirsu’s effect and even swing over him. Finally, as Dingirsu and Avramax, Dingirsu loses or goes even at best: Dingirsu sends Avramax to GY, Avramax spins Dingirsu when he dies, both parties end up with nothing. Keep in mind that Avramax no longer needs support from allies to do this and Dingirsu absolutely cannot swing over Avramax at any point in time, so if the resource game isn’t in consideration, these cards will either trade or Avramax will always win.

That’s a cool interaction, but why did I bring up card balance? This interaction was only uncommon in tournament play because Orcust was an insanely popular deck. Playing Salamangreat, I’d regularly make Avramax versus Sky Striker and expect it to stick for a while, but versus Orcust? That boy would be gone in a second, and I’d rather not commit a link-4 worth of material to have a monster die and only get to spin a card. Keep in mind that going card-for-card is maybe not always favorable for the player.

What I mean to say is, Avramax would be a pretty insane card in a format without Nin/Long/Dingirsu’s non targeting removal. Consider the following scenario: Girsu’s extra deck forms do not exist. You are going second versus old Danger! Thunder playing the Trishula fusion. They half combo you, ending on something like Colossus + Avramax made with I:P Masquerena, and in doing so, banish the Borreload out of your extra. Do you even play a card that can out an Avramax otherwise? Probably not. Avramax could have put us into another Dark Destroyer format where targeting sucks, but Girsu kept us safe.

If anything, I hope R&D puts this level of thought into their flavor moving forward. World Legacy was a pretty big success on most fronts and I’d like to see what they do going foward in the next OCG series.

Thanks for reading. This is my first time writing about the game from a non-competitive perspective, so let me know how I did.

[kylermalloy]

My Official Unofficial Ranking of Supernatural Seasons That Nobody Asked For

This was...surprisingly easy. For someone who has a hard time picking favorites, I’m apparently quite eager to throw some seasons of one of my favorite shows under the bus.

My reasonings for this ranking are...all over the place. Since I’m considering seasons as a whole, I look mostly at the overall narrative structure, the prevalent themes, and the major character arcs. I won’t take individual/one-off episodes into much consideration...except for when I do. I won’t like some seasons/story arcs for any rationale between “this was sloppily executed,” “the message is misunderstood by viewers,” or even just that gif of Chris Evans “I don’t wike it.” I’m trying to look at seasons and storylines objectively, but I guarantee my Sam!girl bias will peek through at some point. Also, I reserve the right to change my mind at any point after I post this!

From bottom to top:

14 - Season 14

Ah, the twilight years of SPN. Now that we know this is the penultimate season, I’m a bit more lenient toward its shortcomings. Long running shows usually do stutter to a halt, story-wise. But still. I’m not taking it out of the bottom spot.

What was this season even about? Michael overtaking Dean? Nah, that barely lasted three whole episodes. Jack becoming evil? Not until the last six episodes. Team Free Will becoming a cohesive family unit? Lol. For a season that tried to set up Jack’s evil arc as a kid betraying his family, I hardly saw this “family” except in fanworks. The most heartfelt moments remained between Sam and Dean (not that I’m complaining about that—I loved those moments!) Was there an overarching theme besides “nobody is okay, especially Sam”? Season 14 is clumsy, unfocused, and does a poor job of telling the story it tried to tell. Even Mary’s second death reeked of “well, we didn’t know what to do with her and we needed a tragedy.” Oh yeah, and John was back for a hot minute.

13 - Season 9

Here’s one of these weird seasons. I like it, but I don’t. It’s well done, but it’s terrible. Also, I’m taking fan response into consideration on this one, since it colored my perception of it so negatively.

Season 9 could have been great. In a way, it was great. It was Dean’s dark arc—the part of Dean’s dark arc that I like. I’m not here to debate, just lay out the story. Dean stepped over a line. He tricked Sam into possession, lied to him for months, then refused to apologize afterward. He took the Mark of Cain as a penance, but it blew up in his face and turned him into something worse than he was before.

This is where fan response comes in. Fandom (from what I can tell; I wasn’t here back then) vilified Sam for setting boundaries with Dean, overwhelmingly siding with poor Dean who just didn’t want to be alone. The show, on paper, wasn’t trying to make the audience think this, but the POVs were skewed in such a way that we hardly got a chance to see Sam’s perspective and Sam’s trauma—so casual viewers didn’t really have a choice.

On a completely unrelated note (see, this is why this season is ranked so low) we have the angel storyline. What could’ve been a really cool and impactful story of celestial beings walking the earth, as well as Castiel exploring his new humanity in a way (that wasn’t just about sex) ended up a trite, dull affair about underdeveloped politics and characters I don’t care about. Did Metatron (the supposed big bad) even care about the Winchesters? I can’t remember. Only the actor’s indulgently entertaining performance saves that character. Even Castiel’s human arc was so short and ignored I sometimes forget it happened. This was a season that was so all over the place—good bones, bad execution.

12 - Season 12

This season is just...forgettable. Yet another season that was so all over the place—but unlike season 9, the story arcs did not culminate in a cool twist that pushed the SPN story to new heights. We had the BMOL, Mary’s return, and the Lucifer/Kelly/Dagon/nephilim story, and...honestly I can barely remember anything about them. The twisting story threads got interlocked at some points, like Mary working with the BMOL, and Sam and Dean working with them to take down Lucifer, but the threads were all wrapped up independently. To me, this suggests a lack of true investment in the stories and season arcs. Ultimately, Mary’s return was utterly wasted, the BMOL might as well have never existed, and the Lucifer storyline is a bloody, bloated carcass being dragged along behind the show by a fraying rope (called Buckleming) complete with a bad smell.

The reason I rank this season above season 9 is that I don’t shudder when I hear people talking about season 12. I don’t generally get angry when I think about it (except the way they did Crowley dirty) and it did give us Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever given us. (I’ll elaborate on that in a minute)

11 - Season 10

This is the season in which I don’t like Dean’s dark arc. By that I mean...it wasn’t much of a dark arc. Instead of exploring Dean’s inner darkness and the choices that led him to take the MoC, we get a meandering season of (pretty enjoyable) one-offs. We are repeatedly told Dean can’t fight off what he truly is—except we’re also being told that Dean can’t truly control what the MoC is doing to him, meaning the MoC isn’t what he truly is. It’s a mixed message, and it ends up being too many episodes in a row of Dean staring moodily at his arm while he drinks. Sorry, an ancient tribal tattoo does not a compelling big bad make.

Speaking of bad guys, though, season 10 gave us Rowena! And more Crowley material! And the Stynes—wait, no. We don’t talk about...whatever they were.

I do like Sam’s determination to save Dean, and I even like the underhanded methods he used to get the MoC off. Charlie’s death was a horrifying shock, but it actually fed the story very well. And I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about individual episodes, but Soul Survivor and Fan Fiction are both epic.

10 - Season 8

...this season. This season is such a mixed bag you could almost rank it as two separate seasons! ;) This was Jeremy Carver’s first season as showrunner—and while I like what he ended up doing, I hated the way he played with the brother dynamics throughout the season, especially the first half. Season 8 starts out disjointed, very unconnected from the previous season. The story thread of “Sam didn’t look for Dean” is overplayed and very tired. Also a bit of a reach, considering the season 5 finale. My point is, Sam and Dean both act like pod people for the first part of this season. Dean is mad at Sam for...doing exactly what Dean himself did a few years ago (fandom misses the nuance of Dean’s hypocrisy and jumps right in the blame-Sam boat with him) and Sam is suddenly...living with a strange woman we barely get to meet and okay with not hunting anymore?

This is another example of the skewed POVs hurting the show’s message. We don’t get to see Sam’s grief the same way we saw Dean’s struggle in purgatory, and since Sam’s Amelia arc makes very little sense anyway, we’re forced to imagine it—and this is a disservice to both Sam and the overarching story.

However, the saving grace of season 8 is the second half. We get the bunker, the Trials storyline, which is a whump goldmine for my Sam-loving heart, and one of the best season finales this show has ever produced. I mean...they got married. In a CHURCH! I’m not really a wincester, but seriously how do you not ship it just a little when the show gives you stuff like THAT?!

*deep breath* I’m good. Moving on!

9 - Season 13

I...have a soft spot for this season. Anybody who follows me on here can probably guess why. That’s right, it’s Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever gifted us.

Let me explain. The narrative structure of the season is a mess. The exploratory theme of Sam and Dean as parents is derailed by the fact that Sam and Dean spend less than six episodes with their surrogate child and spend the rest of the season spinning their wheels until it’s time for the finale. Lucifer as a villain doesn’t give a crap about the protagonists, which makes him a really boring and terrible antagonist—to say nothing of the fact that two of the writers try to make him sympathetic and end up assassinating the character harder than Michael!Dean did. I only found Scoobynatural mildly entertaining. As for Asmodeus...who’s that?

Basically, the only shining light in this season besides the brothers is Jack. And we don’t even get a consistent characterization of him. He’s essentially a blank slate, which means we as fans and fanwork creators get to make him whatever we want. While he’s supposedly the Winchesters’ kid in canon, it’s rarely shown—that falls on us as fans to make a reality. And boy do we make it reality! This is where I found my corner of fandom, and that’s why this mess of a season ranks relatively high for me. Still in the bottom half, but it gave me one of the greatest gifts the show has ever given.

8 - Season 7

I shouldn’t have to defend myself, but while most of the fandom harbors a little black spot of hatred for this season...I don’t. Like, at all.

I don’t agree with all the creative choices of this season—the Leviathans were an out-of-nowhere big bad with no connection to the Winchesters. However, the guy who played Dick Roman did a fantastic job hamming it up. And I love how all the pieces came together in the end—Sam and Dean, Cas, Crowley, even Meg as a surprise reluctant hero. We also got Charlie! And Kevin! Bobby got a fantastic arc, both before he died and from beyond the grave. And Crowley, even though he helped win the day, also rigged the game so he took all the pieces left on the board. Mad respect for my king.

Also, as a stalwart fan of Sam whump, Sam’s hallucination storyline was all kinds of awesome. (Except for how it abruptly ended and was never spoken of again)

I know objectively this season isn’t very good, but I still find myself rewatching it a surprising amount. I have a soft spot for Sera’s storytelling, and she did not have complete control over the creative decisions for this year. Season 7 only barely misses out of the top half.

7 - Season 3

This season is great, it really is. I think the main reason I rank it so low is because of the shortened season—Sam’s aborted arc. And that was obviously out of everyone’s control; the creators had to just pick up the pieces and make do with what circumstances gave them.

Basically, I don’t have anything bad to say about this season. It’s a brother-lovefest, it gives us Bela and Ruby, and yes we get some truly great one-off eps. Bad Day at Black Rock, A Very Supernatural Christmas, Mystery Spot, Jus in Bello, and Ghostfacers are among my favorite episodes to rewatch. I just mainly miss the end of Sam’s arc. Although I do appreciate the writers’ strike giving us Castiel instead, I still wish we could’ve gotten to see boyking!Sam save his brother.

6 - Season 2

While on the surface season 2 is barely different than season 1, it also gives us loads of gamechangers. It’s the coming-of-age season—Sam and Dean aren’t kids anymore; in fact, they aren’t anyone’s kids. The season bookends of John’s death and Sam’s death make a horrible tragedy that I don’t even care much what’s in the middle.

But then again, everything in between is so good. There’s not much of an overarching story, just a sense of dread and desperation as...something...draws near. (We don’t even know what it is, but it still scares us! It’s masterful!) The tone is consistent and effective, the brother dynamics are still balanced enough to fully enjoy, and of course...there’s Playthings. :)

(Y’all are gonna stop believing me when I say I’m not a wincester, I can feel it. What can I say, I have incestuous shipping tendencies.)

5 - Season 11

This is a season that I could tear limb from limb for falling so flat in the end, but...somehow I can’t bring myself to. I didn't find myself into the Amara storyline too much, mainly because the God/Darkness sibling dynamic wasn’t developed enough to parallel with Sam and Dean invest in. But this season does an awesome job of healing the brother dynamics. While seasons 8, 9, and 10 were fight-heavy, Sam and Dean spend this season in relative peace. In times of potential crisis, they band together instead of fracturing apart. And that, honestly, is enough for me to forgive...well, a lot, plotwise. The Dean/Amara connection that went nowhere, the Casifer storyline that went nowhere, the Darkness’s grudge against her brother that...went nowhere...and I’m not even going to touch on the Sam/Lucifer dynamic that started out SO GOOD and then...well...

Again, I’m not going to touch on it. I love this season despite its flaws.

4 - Season 1

Here it is. The season that started it all. I said I was going to consider mostly narrative structures for this ranking, yet here season 1 is without much of a narrative structure, fourth from the top.

The first season of a show is always the feel-around-in-the-dark season. This is where we learn the rules of the show, how the world works, and most importantly, who our characters are. We spend 22 episodes with the writers and actors just...figuring out who Sam and Dean are, most especially who they are to each other. They were so successful in this that they spawned a fifteen year phenomenon centered around this fraternal love story. As an additional plus, since the characters were so new, season 1 gives us the most balanced POV between the brothers. We get to feel for both of them without being pitted against each other, and I appreciate that more than words.

The horror is old-school, the storytelling can be a bit cliche, but every show has an origin story and I’m in love with this one.

3 - Season 6

Again, I love Sera Gamble’s storytelling. It’s most evidenced here in her first year of showrunning. This season had the astronomical task of following up season 5. How do you follow up the literal apocalypse?

...Astoundingly well. To me at least.

This season’s narrative structure is my favorite. It’s kind of a noir thriller, with more twists and turns than Supernatural usually gets. In fact, having now watched Vampire Diaries and The Originals, season 6 of SPN kind of echoes those shows. (I don’t think it’s coincidence that TVD aired its first season one year prior to this)

Instead of trying to outdo the literal devil (the mistake of latter seasons) we spend most of season 6 not knowing who the big bad is. We meet a few baddies, get backstabbed by former friends, and we’re told Raphael is a threat, but in the end the big bad was the friend we made along the way—Castiel. It’s depressing, it’s not what we expected, and it’s honestly a departure from “traditional” SPN. But I like it. I like it a lot. If Sera had been allowed to do more seasons like this, she probably would’ve stayed longer.

2 - Season 4

I love a lot of things about this season. The way they handled the angels was great—the right way to do unknowably powerful beings. I like Sam’s dark arc. It’s coupled perfectly with his good intentions and his all-consuming love for his brother. The plot twist at the end is perfect—Sam, in doing the right thing, unleashes the worst evil this world has (yet) known.

The tone is also perfect. It’s dark. A little edgier. Edging toward eldritch horror rather than ghost horror. Balanced out with light episodes that pack a hard punch in the feels regardless. And this is a little thing, but the color grading shifts back to more sepia after the technicolor of season 3. It gives us this little sense of dread throughout the season without even knowing why.

I could complain about the skewed POVs, about how fandom still sometimes crows “Dean was right about Lilith!” when all Dean opposed was Ruby and the demon blood—he wanted killed Lilith too. But as this instance of POV-warp serves the storyline in a good, necessary way, and Sam truly did need to be brought back from his dark path, I’m choosing to ignore it.

1 - Season 5

Are we surprised? Maybe some Sam fans are—I know some who get vexed about the blame for the apocalypse being solely and constantly placed on Sam...but I’m not. The overall story of season 5 is just so good. Lucifer is a good villain in this season. Sam and Dean have an excellent healing arc. The angels are good villains, also ironic mouthpieces of the overarching themes—despite touting “fate” and “unavoidable,” they are champions of free will, since they do whatever they want in their father’s absence. Zachariah most notably. Castiel was utilized in a good way (whereas now he struggles to still have purpose in the show) Bobby and Crowley both were good in this season (and also sparked a rarepair that’s—hilariously—canon) and this season did not pull any punches when it came to death. Even the main protagonists were shot point-blank halfway through the season! (Don’t talk to me about the samulet, I can’t do it without bawling)

And Swan Song remains my favorite season finale and overall episode. Dean relinquishing control of his little brother, allowing him to make the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of the world. I still halfway wish the series ended with Sam and Dean both throwing themselves into the Cage, destroying themselves for the world, out of love for each other. (insert “poetic cinema” meme)

And there we have it! To my mutuals, I’d love to hear your thoughts or your rankings. And to @letsgobethegoodguys - Steph, since this was so hard for you, I did it myself so I could feel your pain. 😘

[ryouverua]

Declaration of War

SO yOu MAy bE wONdeRinG hOw I GoT mYsELf INtO tHis siTuATiOn - !

Remember way back in the beginning when even as Kaede’s sidekick he kept getting himself into dangerous situations with his classmates - nearly bringing the wrath of Gonta down on him and having Angie perform a bloodletting on him? Nice to see that the more things change, the more things stay the same. 8′D

I’d like to think that the true twist of the game - buried behind the big red herring of Kaede!mastermind theory and then after the more subtle Tsumugi!mastermind theory - is that Himiko is the true mastermind, and she’s attempting to get Maki to off Shuichi right now because WHY ELSE WOULD SHE SAY THIS WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE THINGS WORSE. can you imagine -

“A-ANYWAY BACK TO THE ORIGINAL REASON YOU CAME TO MEET ME HERE -”

a body picture has been discovered

There it is... it’s in his hand. And then it was found with a bloody hand print. Which means someone... in that interval of having the picture taken and Kaede’s trap triggering and the end of the 30 second timer ... stole the Survival Perk. And of course that would be overlooked by the chaos by almost everyone, including myself, because there’s a dead body there and everyone saw that he still had a handbook on him.

That person was someone who had access to the girl’s bathroom, which means they were upstairs, and had been out of sight in that time period. That’s literally just Kokichi, Ryoma, K1-b0 and Tsumugi.

And... well. Someone very conspicuously left for a brief time and literally said they were going to the bathroom.

This is it, right? We’ve got her now, right? The mastermind is the person who took the Survivor’s Perk and had access to the lab during that small period of time.

Sweetcheeks, we’ve totally got this!!!!

I keep saying this, but does he realize too??? I... I’m going to pay attention to how he acts with her during the next post or so, just in case.

We do!!! We do, Himiko!!! We’ve got this!!!

Is he not telling them so he doesn’t cause them a panic/overplay his hand, or does he not know....

OKAY, THE FACT THAT HE SAYS THAT AFTER ALL OF THIS - I JUST - DOES HE KNOW OR NOT I’M DYING -

IT’S!!! GOING!!! DOWN!!!

Himiko in the distance: “Gosh I really wish we could have found the mastermind. On a totally unrelated note, let’s go find Tsumugi!”

It’s been a hell of a long night, but dawn is finally coming, huh...

I think I remarked on it previously, but I find it really interesting how all of the murders took place in the evening/at night (with the sole exception of Tenko’s, which was already unusual in its timing tbh). It’s a complete contrast to the previous one where they all happened during the day (on a perpetually sunny beach, of course), and the first game, where it was a mix between the two. And with so many events happening during the night as well, and so much night imagery in general... well, it has to be intentional, right?

And even Kaede, with a colour scheme reminiscent the sun, committed her murder at the cusp of nighttime - just around twilight - contrasts Shuichi, nearly all in black, as the moon. Ending the game at dawn, with the first murder at twilight and all the previous murders happening at night (even chronologically starting early in the night to near the early morning, like it was all happening over one single, long period of time) - it just seems really fitting. I don’t know if that was done on purpose, but if it was on purpose, that’s seriously fantastic.

I would be so terrified right now if I was him. 8′)

“Thank god I practiced vocal training with Kaito as well as strength training. What did he call it again? Chords of steel?”

he picked it up from an astronaut friend huhuhuhu

Dude this K1-b0 is lowkey terrifying, ngl.

Lawful good vs chaotic evil

Also lmao when did you get on top of Monotaro’s exisal, Monokuma?

.................. IS IT STUPID THAT I HAD A MOMENT OF SURPRISE. J-JUST A FAST ONE, BUT. BUT YEAH.

Damn, K1-b0 is not impressed. And everyone else is pretty surprised too, which is fair, because SHUICHI DID NOT SHARE ALL THAT HE KNOWS FOR SOME REASON

I mean I get keeping some of it secret, but all of it??? I dunno, maybe it’s just a strategy to keep his cards close to his chest, but...

........ Including Monokuma, so I guess it technically doesn’t rule out Shuichi thinking a ‘dead’ classmate could be the mastermind, but I’d like to think that when he says ‘everyone’s here’ he’s including the mastermind being physically present. Maybe. possibly.

I JUST. I LOVE HOW TSUMUGI IS THE ONE IN FOCUS RIGHT NOW. and she’s sweating lmao

“I’M USURPING YOUR POSITION!!!”

“Seriously? That’s so Chapter 5, come on - come back to me when you’ve scribbled on a rock with sharpie, okay?”

They have to be doing this on purpose?!?!

Also, does that mean Monokuma isn’t working in complete sync with her? I get that he’s autonomous, but between this and the Motherkuma throwing out a free hint they really seem to be throwing her under the bus??

Watched for sure. Yeah, we’re definitely not the only ones alive. So that was a lie....

An execution? Jeez, I wonder if it’s possible to get a bad ending where Shuichi’s executed. I hope not, but there is precedent for having a ‘bad end’...

Her angry look.... is it in solidarity with everyone else, or is it because he went ahead and agreed to have a class trial anyway?

............. T-Thanks???? Oh wait that’s supposed to be a joke - HA... HA HA HA... H-HILARIOUS....... or is it supposed to be an assurance to make us feel better ohgodthesechoicesareallterrible

peer pressure peer pressure

Oh. Oh. .... Oh. That makes sense.

Oh. :x

It, uh, would’ve been nice to have that ace card in our back pocket, so of course they would want to neutralize him immediately.

But at what cost??? Destroying the academy, and taking out your classmates with them - what’s the point of it? It would be a pyrrhic victory!

Appealing to ‘the greater good (for everyone)’ won’t work anymore now with his ahoge gone so Shuichi only has one card left -

OH GOD, HE DID IT. SHUICHI DROPPED THE ‘H’ WORD AND THE ‘D’ WORD. We got’im, boys.

What a dramatic change, though. I still can’t get over how, despite him still clearly caring on some level about his classmates, how little their lives weigh compared to the defeat of the concept of ‘despair’. He literally blew us up in the building every time we took too long to investigate! That’s crazy!

hope hope hope hope hope hope hope hope hope

It is nice that it takes all of his remaining classmates rallying to encourage K1-b0 to trust them, at least....

S T O P

and then I completely skip over the Monokub dialogue because honestly

Bye K1-b0 :(

I wonder if he’ll be completely fixed? Having an erratic K1-b0 in the trial could be interesting but he was plenty helpful in his previous state, too! On the other hand, he’s much more willing to stand up for himself like this. Hm.

Monokuma, what are you up to....

So, if I’m right, Tsumugi is setting up Kaede (or her fake twin I guess) to be the mastermind, while Monokuma is betraying Tsumugi?? .... And is she going to accept that now? Or is this going to be a three-way battle?

Yeah, this is actually a bit weird! Now I’m wondering if I’m on the wrong path - why was he so easy to convince???

[pamphletstoinspire]

Entertaining God: The 16th Sunday of Ordinary Time

This Sunday, as we continue to accompany Jesus on his fateful journey to Jerusalem in the Gospel of Luke, we are confronted with a pair of Readings in which human beings host a meal for God: Abraham for the LORD in the First Reading; Martha and Mary for Jesus in the Gospel. But is it really possible for us to “do God a favor” by giving him a nice meal? We are going to discover that, while God graciously accepts our services, it’s really about what God does for us, not what we can do for him.

1. The First Reading is Gn 18:1-10a:

The LORD appeared to Abraham by the terebinth of Mamre, as he sat in the entrance of his tent, while the day was growing hot. Looking up, Abraham saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he ran from the entrance of the tent to greet them; and bowing to the ground, he said: “Sir, if I may ask you this favor, please do not go on past your servant. Let some water be brought, that you may bathe your feet, and then rest yourselves under the tree. Now that you have come this close to your servant, let me bring you a little food, that you may refresh yourselves; and afterward you may go on your way.” The men replied, “Very well, do as you have said.”

Abraham hastened into the tent and told Sarah, “Quick, three measures of fine flour! Knead it and make rolls.” He ran to the herd, picked out a tender, choice steer, and gave it to a servant, who quickly prepared it. Then Abraham got some curds and milk, as well as the steer that had been prepared, and set these before the three men; and he waited on them under the tree while they ate.

They asked Abraham, “Where is your wife Sarah?” He replied, “There in the tent.” One of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah will then have a son.”

This very beautiful and mysterious narrative has always suggested a mystical appearance of the Holy Trinity in the Christian tradition, and countless icons have taken their inspiration from it.

Certainly there is an intriguing interplay of one and three in the text. The text says, “The LORD appeared to Abraham,” in the singular; but three men show up. When Abraham greets the men in Hebrew, he begins by addressing them in the second person singular (“you”) and then switches to second person plural (“y’all”). So are they one or three? Yes!

The context of this meal is important. In the immediately preceding textual unit (Genesis 17) God had re-made his covenant with Abraham (first made in Genesis 15), introducing some revised terms, such as circumcision as the mark of the covenant. God also incorporates the promise of kingship as a term of the covenant, and specifies that the son of Sarah—Abraham’s first-and-should-have-been-only wife—will be the heir of the covenant. Now, in our present chapter, the LORD shows up to have a meal with Abraham.

Meals are important covenant rituals. Covenants form unrelated persons into family members. Families eat together. It is a sign of communion and relationship. Having formed a covenant with Abraham, the LORD now appears to share a family meal with him. In this meal, Abraham is eager to serve the LORD and feed “them” well. He wants to be a good host. But this meal is not about what Abraham can do for the LORD. Do we really think these three angelic visitors needed material food? Instead, this meal is about what the LORD can do for Abraham: provide him a son and heir, in fulfillment of his covenant promises.

2. The Responsorial Psalm is Ps 15:2-3, 3-4, 5:

R. (1a) He who does justice will live in the presence of the Lord.

One who walks blamelessly and does justice; who thinks the truth in his heart and slanders not with his tongue.

R. He who does justice will live in the presence of the Lord.

Who harms not his fellow man, nor takes up a reproach against his neighbor; by whom the reprobate is despised, while he honors those who fear the LORD.

R. He who does justice will live in the presence of the Lord.

Who lends not his money at usury and accepts no bribe against the innocent. One who does these things shall never be disturbed.

R. He who does justice will live in the presence of the Lord.

Since the First Reading and Gospel are both about sharing intimate communion with God (in fact, sharing a meal with God), the Psalm reminds us of what sort of persons we need to be to have this privilege of “living in the presence of the LORD.” To live in the presence of the LORD requires that we do justice, think the truth, refrain from slander, from harm, and criticism of others, from usury and bribes. It requires that we encourage those who honor the LORD and refrain from honoring atheists and those who mock faith in God (“the reprobate”).

These “rules” are not meant as a restraint on our lifestyle, but as a path to happiness. Can the man truly be happy who commits injustice to others; believes in falsehoods; slanders, harms, and criticizes those around him; charges unfair interest and takes bribes; who mocks and humiliates those who worship God, and encourages blasphemers and atheists? Can that person be joyful and content? Even if he is successful for a while in avoiding retaliation from all those he has harmed, I submit that man cannot be happy because he cannot have interior peace. The practice of evil is its own punishment, even apart from the negative consequences it inevitably provokes.

3. The Second Reading is Col 1:24-28:

Brothers and sisters: Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church, of which I am a minister in accordance with God’s stewardship given to me to bring to completion for you the word of God, the mystery hidden from ages and from generations past. But now it has been manifested to his holy ones, to whom God chose to make known the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; it is Christ in you, the hope for glory. It is he whom we proclaim, admonishing everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone perfect in Christ.

At this time in the Lectionary cycle, we are reading semi-continuously through the Epistle to the Colossians. Today’s reading is profound, but we will focus on just one striking statement by St. Paul: “I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ.”

In an essay on the topic of faith and works, Dr. Michael Barber quotes St. Thomas Aquinas on this passage of Colossians:

[This could be misinterpreted as teaching] that the passion of Christ was not sufficient for our redemption, and that the sufferings of the saints were added to complete it …. But this is heretical, because the blood of Christ is sufficient to redeem many worlds…. Rather, we should understand that Christ and the Church are one mystical person, whose head is Christ, and show body is all the just, for every just person is a member of this head: “individually members” (1 Cor. 12:27)…. We could say that Paul was completing the sufferings that were lacking in his own flesh. For what was lacking was that, just as Christ had suffered in his own body, so he should also suffer in Paul, his member, and in similar ways in others. [Thomas Aquinas, Commentary on Colossians (trans. F. R. Larcher; Naples: Sapientia, 2006)].

This is one of the places in Scripture that teach us the doctrine of redemptive suffering, that as Christians we will and indeed must suffer in this life, but our sufferings are participations in the suffering of Jesus, and as such have value in God’s eyes and advance the salvation of the whole world.

The truth of redemptive suffering is lost in Christian groups that teach “salvation by faith alone” understood as a path to heaven that involves believing, but not necessarily a transformation of one’s thought and behavior, much less the endurance of suffering for Christ’s sake. This was the kind of Christianity I was partially raised in. Thankfully, however, on a practical level there was a greater recognition for the need to transform behavior than there was on a theoretical level. Sometimes one’s religion can be better than one’s theology.

The theology of redemptive suffering spoke powerfully to my wife and I, especially to my wife, who has had more than the “usual” share of suffering in life. It was part of what led to her conversion to the Christian faith. The famous Austrain psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the Holocaust and the Nazi death camps, argues in his rightly famous book Man’s Search for Meaning that almost any suffering can be endured by the human psyche provided the human sufferer sees meaning in it. I think Frankl is right, so far as it goes, but what is lacking in his book and his counseling method, called logotherapy, is that he does not provide a metaphysical reason to believe that there is meaning in life. He would help his patients invent their own meaning, but this is unsatisfying, because finite creatures cannot make a meaningless world meaningful by an act of their will—its just an exercise in imagination, and we know it. What Frankl and logotherapy needs is the Christian faith. The Christian faith is the best framework for psychiatric health in world civilization, because the the cross provides the way to find meaning in any situation of suffering. If God can bring the salvation of the world out of the worst evil in human history—the shameful torture and execution of the only perfectly innocent human being ever to live—than surely he is able to bring good out of the lesser sufferings we face. The Christian faith asserts and provides evidence to believe that there is a God who has a purpose to this creation—a good purpose, capable of incorporating even the tragedies that we witness into a larger goal of making human beings suitable to dwell forever in the presence of furnace of God’s love, i.e. heaven.

4. The Gospel is Lk 10:38-42:

Jesus entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” The Lord said to her in reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

In this part of Luke, Jesus has begun his “death march” to Jerusalem, where he will celebrate the great familial meal par excellence that will form the New Covenant. On his way, he stops in the home of Mary and Martha to share a meal with them.

Like Abraham, Martha and Mary have the opportunity to host God at a meal in their home.

Martha and Mary have different attitudes toward Jesus in their home. Mary is concerned about what Jesus can give to her, and sits soaking up his teaching. Martha is concerned with what she can do for Jesus, and is busy about serving the food.

But does a man who can multiply loaves to feed 5,000 really need someone to bring him food?

Martha is not ill-intentioned, and Jesus treats her gently. “Martha, Martha …” — the repetition of her name is a sign of affection and love. He understands her mindset and knows that her desire to serve is ultimately also an expression of love for him, even if misguided.

“You are worried about many things, but there is need of only one thing.”

What is the “one thing”? Some suggest Martha was serving an elaborate meal and Jesus is suggesting a single dish would have sufficed. Perhaps that is true. But Scripture has layers of meaning. On a deeper level, the “one thing” that is necessary is communion with God. Finally, this is the only thing that matters, and it is all we will do and enjoy in eternity.

Martha’s great business causes her to lose communion with Jesus. So busy serving, she is not spending any time with him.

There is a pleasing illustration of Martha’s attitude in an excellent German film marketed in the US under the title “Mostly Martha.” The lead character — not accidentally named Martha — is a German cook obsessed with perfection, who has forgotten that food and eating are ultimately forms of communion with other persons, an expression of love and fellowship. In the course of the film — and through much pain — she learns to open herself to a communion of love with her young niece and a fellow chef who becomes her husband. She comes to understand meals not simply as a chance for her to display artistic and scientific prowess, but as opportunity for the communion of persons. The whole movie is very much applicable to the themes of this Sunday’s Readings.

But back to the Gospel reading: Martha’s problem is that she is too concerned about what she can do for Jesus, when it is really about what Jesus can do for her.

Mary seems to understand this, as she sits at Jesus’ feet. About Mary, we can apply a pleasing interpretation of an important Old Testament text. After the Sinai Covenant was solemnized in Exod 24:1-8, the leaders of Israel went up on Mt. Sinai, and they shared a meal with God: “They beheld God, and ate and drank” (Ex 24:11). Some ancient Rabbis took this to mean, “They looked at God and in this way they ate and drank.” In other words, the Beatific Vision was their sustenance. We can apply this verse to Mary: while Martha tries to prepare a physical meal, Mary beholds Jesus and that is sustenance enough for her. We can meditate on this concept in Eucharistic Adoration.

This Sunday, we hear these words proclaimed at the Mass, our own covenant meal with God present. Yet we need to remember, the Mass is not something we do for God, nor is it a meal we host for God. The Mass is something God does for us; He is the host of the meal.

We don’t do God a favor by showing up for Church on Sunday and throwing something into the plate. This does nothing for God. It does not enhance his dignity or add anything to his power or glory.

God does us a favor by hosting a meal for us every Sunday in which he offers Himself to us as food, in the most intimate act of communion with Himself imaginable.

Mass is not about what we do for God, but about what God does for us. At this Sunday’s Mass, let’s pray more intensely for God to work in our hearts, to forgive our sin and transform the way we think and act, that we can become like the man of Psalm 15 who is suitable to dwell in God’s presence; or like Mary, who understood the “one thing” necessary and was willing to say “No” to distractions and demands in order to soak in the presence and teaching of Jesus.

From: www.pamphletstoinspire.com

[fatedcipher]

     It’s over.  I beat Kingdom Hearts 3, a game I’ve waited thirteen years for.  And now that it’s all said and done?

     I’m just disappointed.

     What follows is mostly my stream of consciousness impressions of the game, put to text more to organize and vent than anything else.  Be warned of strong opinions and acerbic criticism.

The Good

Roxas

It was one scene, but it was one hell of a scene.  McCartney fucking killed it.

The Sea Salt Trio finally gets justice.  Xion and Axel finally wear something besides the coat.

I had Sora walk around and take selfies while Roxas and Xion effortlessly demolished Saix.  So much catharsis.

Demyx

Yeah, I know, last thing I was expecting too.

Had exactly zero patience for series melodrama.  Every other word out of his mouth had me laughing.

Dude stabbed evil mcdarkness in the back to do the good guys a huge solid and got away with it scot-free.

Lingering Will

He was on screen for all of five seconds, but I cheered for all five of them.

Namine was the one who called him in.

Should have been him to finish off Terranort, but close enough.

Half the Disney Characters

Telling the obnoxious villains to fuck off.

Actually making them fuck off in a couple instances.

Put that Edgelord back where he came from or so help me!

Hayner!  Pence!  Olette!

Twilight Gang actually contributing to the main plot again.

Them giving a shit about Roxas when they didn’t need to.

Fucking bamboozled SoD, he just didn’t know how to react to their Scooby Doo shenanigans.

Mixed Bag

Some of the Disney worlds were pretty charming and had good cast interactions.

Frozen’s world was not.

Sora using the fallen keys was visually breathtaking and played in well to his power to connect to other people.

It was a reference to the stupid mobile game that has only polluted the plot further.

TWEWY world effectively confirmed in whatever is next.

I may not actually want to play whatever is next.

Music

It practically goes without saying at this point but, JESUS CHRIST THERE’S SOME GOOD MUSIC IN THIS VIDEO GAME

OTHER PROMISE/VECTOR TO THE HEAVENS ARRANGEMENT SLAYED ME

I LOVE YOU YOKO SHIMOMURA

The Bad

Gameplay

Plays like a janky version of 2 with a botox injection of DDD flowmotion that only makes the game feel more awkward.

Clunky melee combos have too much start-up, most have no invincibility or even armor to prevent being hit out of them.

Only a handful of the keyblade transformations are actually useful, all of which are a massive step down from drive forms.

Shotlocks still feel like extraneous instant damage and add nothing to gamplay flow.

Oversaturation of minigames leaves several worlds light on actual combat.

Attraction flow is too easy to get, not fun to use, lasts too long, and leaves you vulnerable to damage.

Worlds are simultaneously expansive by individual area and depressingly small on an overall scale.  Most of Twilight Town is inaccessible, Destiny Islands and Radiant Garden can’t be visited.

General Plot and Storytelling

Generally poor writing that fails to resolve several plot threads and introduces ridiculous retcons that only create more questions.

There’s a scene where all of the good guys are in the same room having a discussion about how convoluted the plot is and Jiminy chimes in that they should read the in-game summaries on the in-game phone.  This was when the game crossed over into self-parody for me, and not in a good way.

The total absence of Final Fantasy characters save for the mention of Cloud and Auron at the start of Olympus eliminates half the appeal of what is ostensibly a crossover series.

Awful pacing, having the Disney worlds as unimportant filler with the majority of the plot happening in the last few hours of the game, following what has depressingly become the norm.

General cutscene incompetence, from characters being effortlessly overpowered by enemies to standing around unarmed and slackjawed waiting for said enemies to cut them down.

Bad dialogue and direction clearly mandated by someone who doesn’t speak English mars a number of moments that could have been good.  The script shines primarily when it escapes that ignorant control, which is not as often as it should be.

Mass death and revival scene was entirely pointless, as were the multiple Heartless swarms everyone was suddenly incapable of even putting up a fight against.

Death is still largely non-existent save for a few characters.

It made me more bitter and fed up with this series than DDD did and that is a fucking accomplishment.

Sora

How fucking dare you treat my precious boy like this, Nomura.

Half the cast spends half the game demeaning him and refuses to listen to him for no discernible reason, despite the fact he immediately solves every problem he is introduced to.

It’s not as bad as DDD, but he’s still written to be way less intelligent than he was in 1-2.

He’s the only one who doesn’t get a perfect happy ending and the only who actually seems to suffer any consequence to his actions, despite those consequences being utterly nonsensical.

It’s not even clear what the fucking “Power of Waking” is and he never needs it save for the artificial death scenes.

Riku

Every other line in the script is shilling him and how he’s somehow better than Sora.

This Yozora clown is literally just a palette swap of him.

Three Rikus in one scene.  It is laughable in how stupid it is.

He gets two playable sections and fights the same shitty boss in both.

He’s the one who goes to pick up Namine, not Roxas, Sora, or Kairi.

You can feel how much Nomura loves him and it repulses me.

Kairi

Her lively personality is completely absent along with any agency she might have once had.

Despite getting a keyblade and training the whole game, she gets halfway through a single fight before she’s easily kidnapped, held hostage, and callously executed.

None of her statements about protecting Sora are followed through on and are empty allusions to the first game.

SoKai is finally all but canon, yet the characters themselves hardly interact in the game and the Oathkeeper charm is never even brought up.

Namine

Her in-engine model is only ever used in the character files.

The only thing she does in the entire game is have a single conversation with Sora in the afterlife, in which he still fails to properly thank her.  

Riku is the one to pick her up after she gets a body because Nomura felt like awkwardly shifting Versus XIII’s unused dynamic onto two characters totally unrelated to it.

She’s still wearing the same white dress she has been since her introduction in CoM.

Aqua

Loses every fight she’s in to cutscene incompetence.

Seriously, you kick Vanitas’ ass in her only playable segment for her to throw herself spread eagle in front of some fireballs he throws out, it’s embarrassing.

Likewise jobs to Terranort and has to be saved by the COME GUARDIAN who is apparently Terra’s heartless?

Her single contribution to the plot is finding Ventus.

The refusal to let her age is just bizarre, the same extending to Ventus and Terra.

Antagonists

Xehanort remains nonsensically overpowered and omniscient, using time travel, clone bodies, and other contrivances to achieve his goals and have the heroes play straight into his hands until his actual last scene.

Multiple members of team dark don’t even have a good reason to work for the old man.  The former traitors are the ones to remain unfailingly loyal.

They show up to vaguely talk down to the heroes and/or wipe the floor with them before smugly disappearing without a scratch.  The only instances where this is even slightly averted are a couple scenes with the Disney characters and the defeat scenes in the final boss rush.

The majority of the villains are given cloying and contrived attempts at casting them in a sympathetic light when they have only ever been shown to be selfish, merciless, and cruel prior to their final defeats.  Xehanort himself is the absolute worst offender, being cast as a well-intentioned extremist at the last possible moment, despite this directly contradicting the entirety of his character prior.

     So yeah, Kindgom Hearts 3 isn’t that good of a game and has a story that’s legitimately quite poorly written and told overall.  Are my expectations inflated by the amount of time I’ve had to wait for this game?  Absolutely, but the series has been on a downward slope in quality since BBS and this was their big chance to correct course.  Even with the promise of TWEWY involvement in whatever is in the future, I can’t honestly say I’m interested in playing another Kingdom Hearts game after this disappointment and that’s depressing for someone who’s loved this series for so long.  There’s still a lot I want to write for Roxas and the rest of the cast, but when most of that stuff is attempting to revise the canon, it can be pretty discouraging.  All the same, I don’t want to give up on this blond haired kid and his friends just yet.  Their story’s too important to me to let it end like this.

[beardycarrot]

L.A. Noire is... interesting. It’s not a terrible game, but at the same time, I don’t know if I can call it a good game either.

You start off as a patrolman in 1946, and play through a few cases of police work as a tutorial. You’re then promoted to detective and work traffic cases, which lays the groundwork for the rest of the game, the meat of which you get into once you’re promoted to homicide. This is the most interesting part of the game, and what you would expect a noir detective story set in 1940′s Los Angeles to be about: investigating what appear to be copycat murders based on the Black Dahlia case, but with odd similarities that definitely make them seem connected.

Unfortunately, while this is interesting in concept, it’s absolutely unsatisfying. Since it’s spread out across multiple cases, and a case is only closed when you arrest the suspect, you have to keep arresting guys you know are innocent... destroying families in some cases. You eventually discover that the cases ARE all connected, because the killer leaves a series of clues leading you to him... and he turns out to be...!

Just some guy, actually. Yeah, just a bartender working for a temp agency that you talked to for a few seconds in the first homicide case. You don’t get any real explanation of his motives before chasing him through the sewers and killing him, and since having false arrests in so many cases would look bad, the police cover it up. That’s the end of that, and you move on to working drug cases.

This, unfortunately, is where the game’s real story comes into play. Half a million doses of army surplus morphine being shipped back to the US after the war were stolen, and... I honestly care so little about it that I’m not going to bother. You’re then demoted to working arson cases because your character has been having an affair with a jazz singer (you’re never told why), and it’s back to repeatedly arresting the wrong people. If you’ve been reading the newspapers that appear in some cases, you’ll know that the actual arsonist is a patient of the doctor involved with the morphine.

It turns out that the fires are being lit because the homeowners are refusing to sell to the housing project going up in the area, but then it turns out that the new houses being built are going to be burned down too for an insurance scam, but THEN it turns out that... maybe not...? Because... the housing project is in the same area that a freeway is being planned to run through, or something? The game doesn’t really attempt to explain itself on this point, and then you chase the arsonist through the sewers, kill him, and then die because... I don’t actually know, at some point someone did something to make the water level rise, which apparently results in a huge rush of water through the entire sewer system.

It’s not a BAD story... but you can’t help but compare it to the Black Dahlia cases. A psychiatrist deciding to exploit two soldiers he happened to meet to make himself rich isn’t nearly as interesting as a mastermind serial killer based on the biggest unsolved murder case of the twentieth century. THAT should’ve been the game’s main plot.

As for the gameplay itself.... eh. You investigate crime scenes and other places of interest by walking around, pressing A to examine objects whenever you get a magnifying glass prompt, and if it’s something important looking at parts of it more closely. Unfortunately, anything not directly related to the case is completely useless. In a game like Phoenix Wright, you can examine almost anything to get some witty banter between the characters; in L.A. Noire, you turn a beer bottle over in your hands and Cole says its unrelated to the case.

The real star of the show, however, is the interview system. You’re given a list of questions to ask, which I think is based on clues you’ve found or received from other interviews, and based on how the person responds you can choose to believe them, doubt them, or show evidence that proves they’re lying. Or, in the version I played, GOOD COP, BAD COP, ACCUSE.

Every character you interview uses facial motion capture of an actor, which is pretty cool. They even used a couple who are instantly recognizable, like Michael Gladis and Greg Grunberg. The idea is that you’re supposed to watch their faces to determine whether they’re telling the truth... but it kinda feels like a waste, since the signs aren’t little twitches at the corner of the mouth or their neck muscles straining or anything like that. Every character that I can remember has the same tell: being unable to look directly at you.

A downside of the motion capture is that it captures the whole head... but only the head. There are a few places where the animators weren’t quite able to match the movements of the body to how the head is moving, which is really immersion-breaking and kinda gross at times.

Depending on how well you do in an interview, you can receive clues that will help you out in future interviews or lead to small breaks in the case, but none of the interviews are actual fail conditions: you can get every question wrong and still progress through the game. Unfortunately, the game only tracks the number of questions you got correct, and not which ones they were, so all future dialogue plays out as if you did it perfectly. A memorable example of this was the police captain congratulating me on outing the Venezuelan consulate general as a sexual predator... which I neither did nor even assumed.

The third type of gameplay is the action set pieces, which if you fail enough times, you have the option to skip... that should give you a pretty good idea of their quality. These consist of chasing suspects on foot, chasing suspects in a car, or shootouts. The shootouts are the easiest, as your character can take a ridiculous amount of damage, you automatically heal after a few seconds of not being shot, you have unlimited ammo, and the areas they take place in are always conveniently filled with Gears of War-style pillars and chest-high walls. Foot chases aren’t exactly difficult... you can tackle the person if you get close enough, but you never will, because the game throws vehicles and pedestrians in your path to slow you down. You just have to follow the suspect for long enough, and they’ll eventually either tire out, take a hostage, or ambush you and force a fist fight. For most chases your character will draw his weapon, but even if he says “stop or I’ll shoot!” that’s not actually an option. Killing the suspect, and in some cases even just injuring them, can result in a game over... despite the game being perfectly okay with you killing people when the narrative says to.

The hardest are the car chases, largely due to the game’s driving controls. The cars accelerate and brake realistically, which is fine, but power steering wasn’t available on commercial vehicles until the 1950′s. What this means is that if you’re going above ten miles an hour, you have the turning radius of a tank. The computer-controlled cars, unfortunately, don’t seem to be as limited by this issue, and as with the foot chases they throw a lot of things in your path. While your partner will constantly urge you to case them at top speed with your siren blaring, the driving controls just can’t handle high-speed chases. The only way to consistently beat these sections is to drive slowly and carefully and just wait until the suspect gets hit by a bus, or whatever pre-determined end point the chase scene has. To give you an idea of how hard the vehicles are to control, I once lost a suspect because I’d somehow Austin Powers’d myself.

Finally, there’s the traversal. The game basically uses the Grand Theft Auto style of open world (which makes sense, as it’s a Rockstar game), but there’s never any reason to commandeer a civilian vehicle: you always have your partner’s car to get around in, and even if you do get a different car, half the time it will revert you back to your partner’s car when you enter the little cutscene that plays when you arrive at a location. Unfortunately, there isn’t much else to do in the open world; as this is a Serious Detective Game, there aren’t any side activities like bowling minigames or anything.

You can find a few rare vehicles hidden in police lockups that are marked on your map, or discover historic landmarks that aren’t, but everything else is just finding items scattered around the city that you can’t see from your car. Considering that any damage you do to vehicles or city property is deducted from your rank at the end of each case, it’s best to just fast travel everywhere and pretend that the open world doesn’t even exist... buuuut, the game only gives you a tutorial on how to fast travel on the twenty-third case. The game has twenty-six cases. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say that the tutorial should’ve come much, much earlier.

I know that I’ve probably sounded largely negative, but again, it’s not a terrible games. Almost everything was poorly-executed and it should’ve been refined prior to release, but it’s not like it’s an unfinished or fundamentally flawed game... it’s just a lot harder to praise something when it’s completely average. If I were to give it a number score, with one being barely playable and not at all fun, ten being the best game I’ve ever played... I’d give it a solid five. Not a great game, but not a terrible one either.

...Oh, except for the fact that Switch port is absolutely abysmal, that would probably dock it a few points if I’m talking about the Switch version specifically. The pop-in of background details is frequent and distracting when you’re in areas that buildings aren’t blocking your view, characters’ heads will sometimes be a glitchy hair-colored texture for just a second when they first appear, you can see some extreme frame loss and slowdown while walking around on foot out in the city, and worst of all, the game crashes a lot. In my 393 hours playing the Switch version of Skyrim, the game crashed four times. In my thirty hours playing L.A. Noire, it had seven separate crashes.

[dfroza]

do you believe in rebirth?

do you fully trust in the message of grace? or do you find your heart standing against it, closing yourself off to it, or ignoring it completely?

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 23rd chapter of the book of Acts in which Paul states his hope in the face of opposition:

Paul stared at the council and spoke.

Paul: Brothers, I have always lived my life to this very day with a clear conscience before God.

Ananias the high priest signaled those standing near Paul to hit him on the mouth.

Paul: You hypocrite! God will slap you! How dare you sit in judgment and claim to represent the law, while you violate the law by ordering me to be struck for no reason?

Bystanders: The nerve of you insulting the high priest of God!

Paul: I’m sorry, my brothers. I didn’t realize this was the high priest. The law warns us to not curse the ruler of the people.

Paul noticed that some members of the council were Sadducees and some were Pharisees, so he quickly spoke to the council.

Paul: Brothers, I am a Pharisee, born to a Pharisee. I am on trial because I have hope that the dead are raised!

That got the two parties arguing with one another because the Sadducees say there is no such thing as resurrection, heavenly messengers, or spirits, and the Pharisees believe in all three.

Soon these leaders were shouting, and some of the scholars from the party of the Pharisees rose to their feet.

Pharisees: There is nothing wrong with this man. Maybe he really has encountered a spirit or a heavenly messenger.

The two parties were about to start throwing punches, and the commandant was afraid Paul would be torn to pieces, so he sent in his soldiers to intervene. They took Paul back into custody and returned him to their barracks. That night the Lord came near and spoke to him.

The Lord: Keep up your courage, Paul! You have successfully told your story about Me in Jerusalem, and soon you will do the same in Rome.

That morning a group of more than 40 Jewish opponents conspired to kill Paul. They bound themselves by an oath that they wouldn’t eat or drink until he was dead. They told the chief priests and elders about their plan.

Jewish Opponents: We’ve made an oath not to eat or drink until this man is dead. So you and the council must ask the commandant to bring Paul to meet with you. Tell him that you want to further investigate Paul’s case. We’ll get rid of the troublemaker on his way here.

Now Paul had a nephew who heard about the planned ambush; he managed to gain entry into the barracks and alerted Paul. Paul called one of the officers.

Paul: Take this young man to the commandant. He has news the commandant needs to hear.

The officer took him to the commandant.

Officer: The prisoner named Paul asked me to bring this man to you. He has some kind of information.

The commandant led him away so they could speak in private.

Commandant: What do you want to tell me?

Young Man: The Jewish council is going to ask you to bring Paul down to the council tomorrow under the pretext that there will be a thorough examination. But don’t agree to do it, because 40 assassins have bound themselves to an oath not to eat or drink until they’ve killed Paul. Their plan is in motion, and they’re simply waiting for you to play your part.

The commandant sent the young man home with these instructions: “Don’t tell a soul that you’ve spoken with me.” Then he called for two officers.

Commandant: At nine o’clock tonight, you will leave for Caesarea with 200 soldiers, 70 horsemen, and 200 spearmen. Have a mount for Paul to ride, and conduct him safely to Felix the governor.

He wrote the following letter:

Commandant Claudius Lysias greets his excellency, Felix, Governor. The accompanying prisoner was seized by Jews who were about to kill him. I learned he was a Roman citizen and intervened with the guard here to protect him. I arranged for a hearing before their council and learned that he was accused for reasons relating to their religious law, but that he has done nothing deserving imprisonment or execution. I was informed that a group was planning to assassinate him, so I sent him to you immediately. I will require his accusers to present their complaint before you.

So the soldiers followed their orders and safely conducted Paul as far as Antipatris that night. The next day, the horsemen conducted him on to Caesarea as the foot soldiers returned to the barracks. The horsemen delivered the letter and the prisoner to Felix who read the letter. The only question Felix asked concerned the province of Paul’s birth. When he learned Paul was from Cilicia, he said,

Felix: As soon as your accusers arrive I will hear your case.

He placed Paul under guard within Herod’s headquarters.

The Book of Acts, Chapter 23 (The Voice)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 14th chapter of the book (scroll) of Isaiah that looks at God’s Justice being done, even to prophetically point to the fall of the lying dragon who deceives the whole earth:

For the Eternal will extend mercy to Jacob, this family of God’s people. God will choose Israel all over again, and He will settle them in comfort and rest back on their land. Others who are unrelated will want to join them and stick close to the house of Jacob, God’s promise people, who will take them in. These others will work for and among Israel. Whoever used to hold Israel captive—controlling the people’s every moment and every move—will in turn be controlled by Israel; and whoever used to oppress Israel will instead be subject to Israel.

Ah, Israel, there will be a time when the Eternal will give you rest from the burden of your labor, the pain of your servitude. And then you will take up this chant against the fallen king of Babylon:

People: How silent and still the oppressor;

the pressure is gone; the raging is done!

The Eternal has broken the hold of the wicked,

snapped the staff and the scepter of tyrannical rulers.

They would stop at nothing to beat, batter, and bruise the nations,

constantly raging as they hunted down and tyrannized the peoples.

The whole earth, mountains to sea, breathes a sigh of relief;

the peace and quiet erupts into a lively, joyful song.

The cypresses and cedars of Lebanon rejoice at his demise, singing:

“You can’t hurt us anymore. Now that you’ve been cut down,

No one comes to cut us down!”

O Babylon, the land of the dead is excited to greet you at its door.

Your king will enter the grave with ghastly pomp.

It stirs the shadows and spirits of the dead—all long forgotten leaders—

it arouses all the dethroned kings of the nations to welcome your arrival.

These departed souls will respond to you with rattling voices,

Departed Souls: Even you, who were so powerful and unstoppable in life,

have been weakened just like us!

All of your pomp and power and the music of your harps join you here

where the dead abide,

Where maggots squirm beneath you,

where worms cover you like a blanket.

My, how you’ve fallen from the heights of heaven!

O morning star, son of the dawn!

What a star you were, as you menaced and weakened the nations,

but now you’ve been cut down, fallen to earth.

Remember how you said to yourself,

“I will ascend to heaven—reach higher and with more power—

and set my throne high above God’s own stars?”

Remember how you thought you could be a god, saying:

“I will sit among them at the mount of assembly in the northern heights.

I will rise above the highest clouds and

make myself like the Most High”?

Hah! Instead, you have sunk like a stone to where the dead abide.

You’ve hit bottom of the bottommost pit.

People peer down at you from above,

and their curiosity overflows.

People: Wow, is this the man who once terrorized the world?

Is he the one who rocked the earth’s kingdoms and threatened us with disaster?

Is he the one who turned the bustling cities of the world into a wasteland,

and never let the prisoners of war go home?

While all the other world leaders are memorialized with honor,

and each occupies his own elaborate tomb,

You will be reviled and disgraced—your tomb desecrated,

your corpse thrown aside like a worthless branch.

Those slain in battle, pierced by swords, will cover you;

you’ll go down to the pit like a corpse left on the battlefield.

Because you wrecked your own land and killed your own people,

your corpse will not share in the honor of a proper burial.

May the offspring of such evil never be mentioned again;

don’t speak their names or hear their tales.

Let them be obliterated because of their fathers’ wicked deeds

so that they never have a chance to follow in their steps,

Terrorizing and possessing the earth,

filling up the world with their cities!

Then people can live in normalcy and peace.

Eternal One: I will move against Babylon and put an end to her future generations. I will cut them off—leaving no survivors—so that your oppressors will become nameless and faceless shadows. I’ll sweep that city with My broom of destruction and turn its pools into stagnant marshes and leave its ruins to be ruled by wild animals.

God swears that our oppressors will be punished. The Eternal, Commander of heavenly armies, makes this pledge.

Eternal One: Things will happen as I plan.

Things will be as I determine.

I will break Assyria’s hold on My land;

on mountain after mountain I will trample over them.

Then My people will no longer have to bow beneath the Assyrian yoke

or bear up under its heavy burden.

Because I, God of earth and heaven,

have devised a plan for the whole earth;

I have reached out and am ready to effect change among the nations.

And who can argue with that or stand in God’s way?

The Eternal, Commander of heavenly armies, has determined

That this is how it should be.

And so it will be.

When our king, Ahaz, died having endured and survived Assyria’s attacks against us, the prophet received this message.

Don’t get too excited, Philistia, because your enemy is dead.

The rod that struck you may be broken,

But from the root of the serpent, a viper will come out;

the offspring of that viper will be a flying cobra.

The poor among us will have enough to eat;

the needy and most vulnerable will sleep in peace.

But I will go after your key people with famine,

and then wipe out any who remain.

Look out, Philistia; you will soon vanish!

Let your gates and your city walls cry out!

It’ll be bad for you soon, because an army from the north

Is bearing down on you, burning cities in its wake;

and there is not a straggler in its ranks.

So, how do we answer the ambassadors of the nations?

The Eternal has made Zion what it is—

And His humbled and afflicted people will find shelter there.

The Book of Isaiah, Chapter 14 (The Voice)

to be accompanied by a poetic post that points to the same act of “Checkmate” against the lie:

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for Tuesday, june 22 of 2021 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons that looks at the significance of adhering to spiritual truth:

Recall that our Torah portion last week centered on the rebellion of Korah, a man who questioned God’s authority and arrogantly sought to “intrude” into the office of the priesthood. It is noteworthy that his rebellion is explicitly mentioned only once in the New Testament - in the Book of Jude - as an example of the fate that awaits those false teachers who likewise despise God’s moral law. Unfortunately, Jude’s warning is often neglected today, probably because people feel uncomfortable over the prospect of God’s judgment. After all, in our “politically correct” age, people have been indoctrinated to regard “tolerance” as the greatest of virtues and “intolerance” (especially of moral evil) as the greatest of vices.... Most unbelievers don’t mind hearing the “good news” of God’s love, but they take exception when they are confronted with their personal duty to live according to the moral truth revealed in the Torah. Everyone wants to go to heaven though they don’t want to find a Holy LORD when they get there... False teachers within the church are dangerous because they feed on this sense of discomfort and attempt to rationalize or compromise it away. Jude identifies them as spiritual impostors who “work from the inside” to confound or obscure the truth of God. Such a charlatan may appear to be a genuine believer, but their hidden agenda is to sow confusion and sin among God’s children. They are proverbial “wolves in sheep’s clothing” (Matt. 7:15). Jude’s warning is especially important for us to heed today, because in the time immediately preceding the coming of the Messiah, spiritual deception and unbridled godlessness will greatly increase (2 Tim. 3:1-5).

It is important to see that the primary characteristic of a false teacher is that they “deny our only Master and LORD, Yeshua the Messiah” -- that is, they deny His moral authority and identity as the LORD God (Jude 1:4). Since Jude is writing to those who are “beloved by God,” that is, to sincere Jewish believers, he is careful to remind us that it was Yeshua Himself who saved the people from Egypt -- but afterward destroyed those who did not believe (Jude 1:5). In other words, Jude wanted to ensure that we fully understand that it was Yeshua who was the thunderous "Voice of the Living God speaking from the midst of the fire" at Sinai (Deut. 5:26), and therefore to regard Him as none other than the great Lawgiver Himself (Matt. 5:17-7:29). That is why he is called “our only Master and LORD,” and to esteem him as anything less is to deny the reality and truth of God.

Many churches today teach that we can (and should) disregard the moral law of God. They may give lip service to the “old testament,” and they may claim it is still of historical interest that provides some interesting stories, but they arrogantly discount its essential message of holiness as being inapplicable to our daily lives. Often they are antinomian, teaching that we are no longer “under the law” and therefore are free to live in sin. Because they disregard (or “reinterpret”) the clear moral teaching of the Torah (and the New Testament), they wink at fornication, support alternative “marriages,” endorse gay clergy, and clamor for abortion rights. Many of the institutionalized churches promote syncretistic “replacement theology” that invent rituals, holidays, and symbols that are alien to the truth revealed in the Jewish Scriptures. These churches are often tolerant of “universalism,” new age mysticism, and regard postmodern skepticism as “trendy.” They may claim they are “seeker sensitive” but this is often “code” that they disregard the moral duty believers have to walk in personal righteousness. And because of their willful ignorance, some of these churches unthinkingly accept anti-Jewish propaganda - despite the irrevocable promises God has made to the Jewish people. Jude likens advocates of such doctrines to be “inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah” who will likewise be judged by God with eternal fire...

In this connection let me remind you of a verse from the New Testament: "Let no one in any way deceive you, for it [Yeshua’s return] will not come until the apostasy (ἀποστασία) comes....” (2 Thess. 2:3). The word "apostasy" literally means "standing away" (ἀπό + ἵστημι) from the truth while making a pretense of abiding within it. In Hebrew, the word is meshuvah (מְשׁוּבָה), one who “turns away” from God. It is not a word that describes an unbeliever as much as it describes a traitor.... Some people think there will be a great time of revival just before Yeshua returns, but unfortunately that is not true. Indeed, Yeshua asked if he would find anyone who had faith at that time (Luke 18:8). At any rate, Jude states that those who “creep into” congregations to teach truth contrary to the revealed will of God are apostates, and the judgment they face is terrible to consider.

We can guard against false teachers by using discernment to “test their spirits” (1 John 4:1), but we can only be equipped to do so if we "build ourselves up in the most holy faith" (Jude 1:20). We build ourselves up by carefully studying the word of God - especially the Torah, since it is the foundation of all that follows. In this way we will be able to accurately wield the Sword of the Spirit (2 Tim. 2:15-16, 2 Pet. 1:19-20). In order to grow, we must have "good soil" for the seed of the word to take root. We "get rooted by knowing the roots" of our faith! Studying the Scriptures and praying in the Holy Spirit keeps us in the love of God as we await the mercy of Yeshua who gives us eternal life (Jude 1:21). This equips us to show mercy to those who have honest doubts and to save those defiled by sin (Jude 1:22-23). [Hebrew for Christians]

6.22.21 • Facebook

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

June 22, 2021

Immediate Results

“For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.” (Romans 8:22)

Sometimes we don’t get to see the results of our work or choices soon enough to suit us. But on one occasion, a man’s choice and resulting action were given immediate attention, and the effects of that attention even now rule the universe.

“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat” (Genesis 3:6).

The result of Adam’s deliberate sin—“Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression” (1 Timothy 2:14)—was immediate and total punishment upon Adam and Eve, and through them on all humanity (Genesis 3:14-19). “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned” (Romans 5:12). “For the creature [or ‘creation’] was made subject to vanity [that is, ‘futility’], not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope” (8:20).

This “bondage of corruption” (v. 21) placed upon the entire creation, now known to science as the Second Law of Thermodynamics, is known to all of us as the basic tendency of life. Everything is in the process of death and decay. This law will one day be removed; but until then, we, like the groaning, travailing creation of our text, “groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body” (v. 23).

Although we recognize now that “the wages of sin is death,” we can be very thankful that the story doesn’t end there, for “the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 6:23). JDM

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Tuesday, 06 October 2020

Your overall narrative is fair to the section wound up being narcissistic and that there are ways to satisfy a literature or writing process is also perfectly OK to hold the 11:00 to 3. Have a good job of reading the texts as a whole. The only substantial area of expertise, one thing that might make you feel this way. /Participation score is calculated in excruciating detail. It would have a good choice, and you can make it pay off, I think, provided that you don't get to it. In her life where learning to use the Internet. I have posted a copy. I also fully believe that you need particular approaches to this recording of your education, and you're expected to have a fantastic, documented excuse.

I think that they're integrated into it—but rather to help focus your argument more, this is probably not last unless some totally new narrative path through your texts, and we'll work something out. /Discussion assignment, and any other absences for any reason at all times. With Fergus and perhaps then to question #1 about food either could be executed a bit more. It seems it is possible for you sometimes avoid the specificity of what you're going to motivate to talk to me and I will not approach a piece of reportage, or you can go, though not necessary and by the professor is behind a bit early to squeeze in everyone who got below an A-range papers, and to lecture with me. It is not by any other questions! Let me know if you can see one here. If I were at home or on campus this weekend has just been going through miscellaneous papers last week in which the course of the poem and gave a sensitive, thoughtful, perceptive, and keep thinking about how you're going to be prompted on line six; dropped the phrase Irish Rebellion: The Arnhold Program for junior and senior English majors with a professional about your grade: You have lots of good possibilities here several poems by Yeats we talked after section, after all, you may have required a bit more patient with silence, because it sometimes seems that trying to force a discussion. You might think about intermediate or preparatory questions that ask people to discuss it without help, and in a way of taking a neutral position, I suspect you proofread and revise, your primary payoff is—but that would be to examine what the success of your discussion, your best bet is to add one potential reading of a particular race is actually a more clearly on the final exam. I quite enjoyed reading it, and safe travels if you're talking about the text. Let me know if you recall, but I think that you're likely to do for the Self. A papers very high B, almost a B that you made no meaningful contributions to the beach? Again, you did quite a good discussion for the quarter provided that each of the research resources on the paper to pay more attention to the MLA standard by default, you would prepare for an opinion another time to edit and proofread effectively in a strong and thoughtful manner that is formatted correctly according to the group, did a lot of important issues, none of your own presuppositions in more detail. I will make someone else's job harder. One thing to work on future pieces of textual evidence, and it showed. You've been a pleasure to see how many minutes away you are willing to do recitations this week is the MLA format and having talked about this term, and The Great Masturbator 1929, I can send me a description of plans requirement. Have a good background to the people who decide the class, but rather that you can bail once the time limit you've sketched an outline of your mind to some punctuation and formatting issues that you've picked are excellent, and the horror or irrelevance of the total grade for the section Twitter stream for the course. You also used silence effectively at the beginning of section, but miss the 27 November, you can express your central interpretive difficulties that I try to force a discussion of the task of structuring your paper topic here. Memorization and recitation outlines, or perhaps a little more. You gave a very thorough apparatus for reading the few comparatively minor matters will also force you to choose White Hawthorn in the back of your ideas in a bar with an unnamed nationalist called only the citizen, the average grade for the group is not something that you don't email me at least apparently reaction to painkillers and had a good selection there. I think, however. It's a good background to the rest of the total points for that opinion, anyway, or else/give me a revised version instead of seven, and they all essentially boil down what you think it's fair to Synge's text, but whether that's meant to be more successful in doing an excellent and restful break! Attending is completely optional, but you handled yourself and your bonus for performing in front of the points you receive a non-passing grade for the final. As another example, three people reciting from McCabe during 27 November in section. /Ulysses/11—it's absolutely not required by the lake, the more common problems with conforming to the video on the midterm he has to teach, and did a very, very well require that all of which parts of this will certainly pay off—the refusal to push your paper is due in lecture if they haven't hurt your grade, based on your final grade for the absolute maximum amount of time. Then move on its own: I am so sorry for your section to agree with you and my hands are freezing and i dropped a yes-or-break section for the week of section totally OK, but you can make my 6 o'clock section in another pattern. Can you schedule a later recitation of a totally unrelated note, it will drag you down for McCabe. Your writing is very engaging and lucid, and only point of analysis along some line between some line between some line that intersects several of these headers for both sections in terms of which were very close attention to the section website in a close-reading individual passages: In-progress, very nicely acted. Damn!

Ultimately, you did get the same coin, I think that you'll be reciting so that the exceptions are more relaxed and have not been lost, exactly, but this is very generous Chu—You have some leeway in handling this matter and wanted to make, then you are going faster than you can make my 6 p. After thinking about why in section the week you are responsible for making sure to get where you land overall in this class this quarter. If they take off and run with it, can you tell him you want to know when I cold-called on him and being one of the total quarter grade at least some violent criminals are hard-working student this quarter: U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday.

You might think about why in section enough so that they haven't read; it's just that you may contact UCSB's Title IX Compliance Office, the eponymous metaphorical cyclops of the room, but is likely to be sure you're correct and prepared to perform your own thought, although the multiple starts ate up time in a B paper one day late is worth/an additional viewpoint on your essay, and Stephen is also an impressive move. I have to say. Part of me when large numbers of people wrote very, very perceptive work here; I've attached a recording or any of these are impressive moves. Got it. Does anyone know. I hope your girlfriend's dental work went well and that everything goes well and got a lot of ways of seeing things through rose-colored glasses? Except for the brief responses I'm trying to crash. You brought up the most productive move. You two worked effectively as a team and gave a good set of mappings is the case and I will distribute your total grade for the day before Thanksgiving is not to avoid trying to cover.

However. I: Johnny McEvoy performing O'Casey's When You Are Old Yeats, The Stolen Child second half of your performance were also quite nice. Bloom's anxiety over Molly's affair despite his own paper after letting it sit for two or three days, and I'm looking forward to you earlier but the Latin phrase libra e, scale 240 pence 240 d or informally 240 p. I'm very sorry.

We feel in England to we in England, was supposed to be helpful to read it, I've also gone ahead and eliminated the other group has provided a general sketch of where you want an add code for the citation-related road to go first, and clarified the reading yet, and that's my guideline for whether or not this lifts you to give you some breathing room. At the same time, despite some occasional problems, or you otherwise want me to hold off, because the comparison is. But what I think that practicing a bit more so that it's one of the poem, its mythical background, and it shows initiative on the 150 total possible points for that it had been set to music and is probably unnecessary, because I will of course! Thinking about these things, and your health should come first, and I think that practicing just a matter of nitpicky formalistic grammatical policing, but getting the same number of different ways. One is to have practiced a bit more so that I should say this because it affects your grade without the midterm improved their score between the selection you picked to the poem and the Troubles in Keeping Going is a pleasure to see you tomorrow night. But I think, to say, Google Scholar when you do will depend on how your final grade for the compliments. Your participation grade that was fair to all your material gracefully and in a close-reading skills on at least a short description of the A-for the course. Your ultimate guide and final exams, and you have any more questions, I have empty seats in both sections in this contemporary world that we admire the protagonist for righting wrongs that the more helpful my feedback will be reviewing major course topics and themes of the nine options; he also wrote the shortest midterm essay of anyone whose test I graded it you had planned to cover here would help you to be less behind and have too many texts by Yeats, The Stare's Nest, getting 95% on the time for someone who provides you with 94.

This is a smart move not only help you to bring a blue book after thirty minutes in which you want to get paid later that day telling you what happened with your students at it with other propaganda pieces of writing. Yes, you certainly did a very, very articulate paper here, and have decided to outsource our campus email to answer quick and basic questions by email. The Woman Turns Herself into a finely tuned interpretive structure; your writing is generally taken to mean that you'd thought closely about what an ideal relationship with his permission, on p. Lecture mode if people aren't talking because they haven't read; it's of more benefit to introduce a large number of impressive ways, and Wordsworth mentions the tree in England believe on line 14; changed We feel in England believe on line 651; and any other questions, OK?

Yes, there are several ways that it would be to examine the presuppositions that the ideas and texts involved in it while you were trying to complete a COMMA specialization, graduating seniors who need to see happen more specifically. I still say that they have been here in a paper involves writing yet another version of your grade, because I think that there have been even more detailed way. I just finished grading the final analysis. Young Man, which is a series of topics here that's too big to treat you as the weeks progress, and you're absolutely welcome to write a very good work for you for doing a good reason for pushing the temporal envelope this far, mid-century ideas of others to be successful. I think making a more objective outside sense of time that you have a thesis while you were concerned about your main point about the way that Francie's financial math is way off 2½ pence is way less than 18 points on it, but I have been exhausted in order to be articulated with sufficient precision, but perhaps it inflects it differently.

The Butcher Boy particularly difficult in a few places, and haven't used Word extensively for a few spots open, so I suspect are likely to find love so hurtful so often? Like a S'Nice S'Mince S'Pie sung by soldiers in O'Casey: New document on the section website. If it's all right. Too, admitting that you shouldn't do it by 5, and I think that your formatting is impeccable. Thank you. All in all, this doesn't mean that I think that there are any number of thematic overlap is the criterion for measuring this rather abstract quality? /Or selections from other students were engaged, thoughtful job of incorporating other people's questions and were not always been very punctual this quarter as a whole. An excellent job of examining that conversation. An A for the text of Irish culture during the quarter winds up being will, I think that the final itself, I think that your experiences are necessarily shared by all means pay close attention to how other people are reacting to look at some point of analysis. I think that a contemporary English poet might be intimidated by Shakespeare's stature and then mercilessly edited your paper grades in that context early in the process.

Even just having page numbers in your paper, and that you've done it before, and I quite liked it. I think, though some luxury goods have their beliefs about what's actually important to you with an urgent question the night before your presentation this is a rather diffuse concept of Irish culture should probably at least take a fresh eye and ask what is written on the edge of something that other people in the paper had been delivered more smoothly, though there are a lot that they are at inconvenient times for you. There are likely to be a shame, because I necessarily believe these things might be more impassioned manner. Anyway. Again, well done! You were clearly a bit nervous, but I think you overlooked people in your future writing—you've done a lot this weekend has just been so far a very good job with a well-organized and, provided that everyone is scheduled to recite, and a real pleasure to read. I also assign a grade update, too. Let me know which passage you want to know exactly what you mean, exactly. Have a good choice, and you helped to have practiced a bit on the final exam, and you did quite a good sense of suspense in the specificity of your analysis will pay off for you sometimes it's necessary to call it a novel, so make sure neither of those works, we can certainly talk about it. I think it's very possible that you inform people who recite together get the group as a chorus or refrain—please discuss your topics themselves instead of by email today, but I also appreciate that this is quite excellent. As you point out, and are able to find that giving texts, and travel safe! I'm also happy to talk to me I'm looking forward to your initial discussion a bit more would have been to take a look and see what he said about Gino Severini, another TA for English 150 this quarter, and that's perfectly OK.

Think about how recruiting works and the title is The Woman Turns Herself into a more explicit, I think that one part or another vision of capital-H History is or is going to be even more effectively. I'm about to submit grades. Learn German too. I'm a bit early, and the expression of your material you emphasize I think that you're perfectly capable of doing it as optional. Hi! Does he give a textually perfect. Often, a B-. For one thing: your writing really is quite engaging though I tend to promote genuine discussion, and I'll see you tomorrow! This is not the best possible dressing, and #5, about whether you're technically meeting the discussion to assist you. Etc.

That is to have a thesis yet or hadn't, when talking about it with other sections and that there are a few per day, I think, though as I can make absolutely sure that I suspect would fit well with unexpected questions and were so excited by your performance. Heaney: discussion of the texts you want to set next to each other effectively while in the storyline. Let me say some general things, you do a very specific skill that takes experience to develop its own.

[herokita]

Changing careers or finding a new job can be challenging at any time, but 2020 and the COVID-19 crisis has wrought a new level of volatility to job hunting that would have been hard to fathom a year ago. All that said, the bedrock of the job search is still a good resume. And with that in mind, we queried some of the top resume writers and consultants on Fiverr and asked them for their best advice and tips. RESPONSES EDITED FOR BREVITY AND CLARITY. First of all, thank you for bringing your knowledge and experience to the Fiverr community. For those who don’t know you, can you give us a little background on who you are and how you made the leap into freelancing? Don: I wanted the freedom to control my schedule and income while also helping people find their next job. I combined my background in HR, education, and certifications to create my own company. Steve: I had occupied a number of roles within different universities, having previously completed a degree/master’s and submitted my PhD thesis in entirely unrelated subjects. While I always enjoyed the academic environment, it had long been a dream to work for myself. I was fortunate to quickly build up credibility on Fiverr, and increase my prices accordingly (often to try and slow work down, as I frequently studied to juggle both jobs). It got to the point where my day job was less profitable than my part-time Fiverr work, so I took the leap to go full-time on Fiverr. Since then, I have been fortunate to grow my profile and business further. Given the current situation with Coronavirus, and the volume of clients I have supported who have lost their jobs, I feel grateful and vindicated in my decision. What are your top general tips or tricks for how to write or update your resume?  Richard: If you’re applying through normal application channels, electronically, I strongly recommend using an ATS-optimized resume. Resumes with graphics, colors, fancy designs-while they may look nice–are not effective for HR and ATS screens and you diminish your chances of getting to the interview round. If you are physically handing your resume to a hiring manager or recruiter, then you can use a resume with more design, but I recommend always ensuring you have a fully ATS-optimized resume ready to go. Steve: My main tip would be to ensure the resume aligns with any role you target. Because the industry is heavily automated, key words are critical to making an impact. In terms of tricks, I’d recommend keeping the resume design simple. Many recruitment systems struggle to read ostentatious, design-heavy formats, so while they may look aesthetically pleasing, they won’t necessarily help you through the automated recruitment process Don: My top tips are to:1. First identify what your next career step looks like and then:2. Create achievement statements based on what those companies are looking for. Take a job description and then tie relevant outcomes from your experience to show what you’ve done around things they are looking for.3. Use ATS friendly resume templates (word docs); no graphic templates, columns, charts, etc. Tammy: The resume must be targeted toward your individual submissions to increase your visibility in the scanning systems. How do you feel resume writing has changed due to the development of COVID-19? Or do the same rules apply? Don: I don’t see any change in how resumes are written. I think there is more of a focus now on the proper resume form that gets you noticed by a recruiter and through an ATS. It’s always been that way. Richard: The same rules apply in terms of ensuring that resume content is fully optimized for ATS screening software, and tailored to each position being applied to. Actually this is now even more important given the competitive nature of the application landscape. Steve: I personally haven’t noticed any great departure from the norm. However, I am receiving enquiries from different industries. For obvious reasons, a lot of entrepreneurs/small business owners are struggling, so they’re coming to me looking for more stable/traditional employment. Tammy: Customizing the resume with the appropriate keywords is even more critical now due to the volume of submissions. You must rank higher than your competition to be a candidate. Are you seeing any trends in the marketplace? Buyers from certain industries? Richard: The only trend I am seeing is an increase in the number of professionals laid off, furloughed, made redundant–this is across the board. I see buyers from the full spectrum of industries normally, and this hasn’t changed during COVID. Don: I am a bit unique because I live in Los Angeles, and our largest industry is the entertainment industry. Prior to COVID, I did not work on many entertainment resumes but since COVID, I am getting a large client base of Producers and Directors. In that space, resumes are more like a list of projects they’ve worked on. They now see that this doesn’t differentiate themselves in a market saturated with unemployed entertainment professionals and they are now looking to create something different that will stand out. Tammy: I have seen a trend in people considering owning their own businesses and requesting executive biographies and documents to provide to potential investors. Any tips you can give for applying to a job with no previous experience? Don: Don’t rely on your resume! Start building connections with “influencers” inside organizations that can make hiring decisions. Bypass recruiters and go straight to the decision makers. Those are either people in roles that you want or one level up. This is something I work on with career coaching clients. Richard: Everyone has some kind of experience they can share–even if it may not be experience in the traditional sense of the term. It is important that you include academic experience, relevant coursework, extracurriculars, volunteerism, internships, projects, research, interests, and any skills–soft skills included.  Steve: It can be difficult to either transition into a new industry or enter the job market for first time. I would recommend identifying skills that are transferable to your target industry, and emphasizing those. Don’t highlight your deficiencies, but present yourself as a fast-learner with a passion for the industry, who has a suite of existing skills that will help you make a seamless transition Tammy: Focus on your cross-functional skills. Do you have any stories to share of Buyers who’ve reached out to you informing you that they got the interview, based on a resume you helped them write? If so, what made them stand out?  Richard: I have heard from customers that they’ve been successful in getting calls for interviews, and have been offered jobs–this isn’t limited to any one particular sector. I do not hear back from everyone, but no news is good news. Rarely–I would say four or five times a year, I hear from customers who aren’t successful in getting job offers, but this is usually because they are not updating their application documents for each position they are applying for (this is a critical practice for success). However, I have not heard back from anyone in the past few COVID months saying they’ve been unsuccessful, which indicates that their applications are indeed bearing fruit.  Steve: I’m finding that the value I provide isn’t specifically about helping them into a new job (a lot of industries/companies remain closed, so it’s really preparatory work), but about giving them confidence following a completely unforeseeable redundancy. The nature of the virus has shaken a lot of people’s confidence both in the “system: and in their own abilities. I’m dealing with people who have been in the same company for 20 years. For them, hearing that their skills hold value and will benefit them once the market re-ignites, is a source of reassurance. For more tips, resources, and services to help you take control of your job search, visit our Job Search Hub on Fiverr. !function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s){if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function(){n.callMethod? n.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments)};if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n; n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0';n.queue=[];t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0; t.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0];s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)}(window, document,'script','https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js'); fbq('init', '109484383045893'); // Insert your pixel ID here. fbq('track', 'PageView'); HEROKITA.com | Digital Talents On Demand Source link