#and the whole thing to take it all off waiting for the coconut oil to take out as much glue and all OMGGG im patient for a tons of things

[chaotictomtom]

had thought abt how in a few months it's gonna be summer *dies a little*

[aboutchriss]

Physiotherapy and coconut oil.

Just a thought on this

Pairing: idol!Chan x fem!reader.

Genre: fluff, crack maybe??, friends/co-workers to?

Warnings: make out session, half naked Chan?????, mention of handjob, handjob, mention of anger issues, dry humping, mention of food and alcohol, mention of dom!chan, sub!chan, softdom!reader, let me know if I miss something. DO NOT USE COCONUT OIL ON YOUR PRIVATE AREAS!!

Author note: we need to talk about this outfit, I know that I'm late but bro, look at him, his stupid boobs, and arms, and abs? I'm on my knees, hair in a ponytail, ready to do my job. why? because I'm a whore for this man, also his physiotherapist is lucky as fuck, I mean he or she or they can touch this man, without anything on...I’m too tired and lazy so not proofread

(the recipe of the pasta mentioned in the story is here especially for my vegetarian and lactose free friends 💅🏼)

Also fun fact: being a physiotherapist is my dream job and this makes me way too much delulu.

-✉️

I’m so insecure about my English, as I said it’s not my first language and I’m always scared to make mistakes or stuff like that, so if you find mistakes please let me know, I’ll be thankful and also my English will improve!

-✉️

As always requests are open!💘

A knock from the door of your little studio call your attention

“C’mon in, the door is open”

You say, closing your laptop to pay attention to him

A head covered with a black beanie and a smile with a pair of dimples appeared at your door.

“Hello, my beautiful, amazing wonderful y/n, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and-“

“What did you do?”

You cut him off

He close the door behind his back

“Let’s say that hypothetically I went to the gym”

He sits right in front of you

“Mh, you do it every day, what’s the problem?”

He giggles a little

“You know last time that we saw each other?”

He asks

“Yeah, umh Wednesday?”

“Mhmh, and what you did to me?”

“The-what? The usual massage? Back, neck, thigh, basically the whole body”

“Exactly, and you know that I was mad because of that little thing that I won't bring it up again?”

“Yes, what’s the problem Chan? I have a lot of things to do”

“Iwenttothegymrightafteroursession”

“Excuse me, what?”

You asked confused

“I-uh- don’t get mad please, you know that I love you, we are friends right? Your hair looks pretty today”

You look at him, raising your eyebrows waiting for the real answer

“I went to the gym, right after our session, and I lifted a couple weights, and umh- I heard a crack on my neck, but now everything hurts, so can you please fix me?”

“YOU DID WHAT?”

you raise your voice

“I’m sorry I was mad”

“Christopher”

You say

“Not the government name please, you scare the shit out of me when you call me ChRiStoPheR. And I know okay? You have all the rights to be mad at me, I’m sorry, but I was about to explode, my options were the gym or the big boss face”

“Take off your shirt”

You sight

“I love when you say that”

“Shut up, before I punch you in the face”

You say

“Rude”

He says

“Stupid”

You stand up and search on the little cabinet everything you need for the massage

“I’m sorry”

He looks at you

“It’s okay Chan. But when I tell you to rest after our sessions it’s because I mean it, it’s part of the healing process. Even Changbin listens to me, and you, more than me know that he’s a gym rat.”

“I know, I’m sorry I was just-“

“Overwhelmed?"

“Yes”

He says taking off his shirt

“You know that you can talk to me right? I’m not just here to fix y’all muscles, I’m a friend. You can call me, anytime, you say “y/n I had a bad day can we talk?”. 5 minutes walk and I’m at your dorm, and you know it Channie.”

Your tone is sweeter now

“It was three in the morning y/n, I- I didn’t want to wake you up, I’m a man, I can’t-“

“So sweet of you to think that I sleep at three. and Channie yes, you’re a man and you’re human and as a human you have emotions, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes or mad, sad, angry, emotionless, it’s totally fine, if you feel like you're about to explode than you need to talk"

He looks at you, silently

"you can call, or FaceTime me if you don't want me around, we don't need to talk about what's upsetting you, but you can't be alone with your thoughts"

"didn't know that you were this sweet you know?"

"I'm not sweet"

"mhmm, you're right you're more like a mom"

he smiles at you

“What? I’m younger than you”

“Meh, just a couple of years”

He says smiling

“C’mon, don’t stare at me like a little puppy, and put away the damn dimples, with those abs you look everything but cute”

“Oh yeah?”

“Shut up and lay on your stomach”

“Mhhhh, okay okay”

He lays down, giving a full view of his back, wider than when the two of you met, if you had him as a friend with benefits (for your studies of course) during your anatomy exam, you would probably have had the best score of the class.

As soon as your hands touch his back he twitches

“Ah fuck”

“I barely touched you”

You say

“Your hands are fucking cold y/n, where did you keep them inside the freezer?”

“God, you scared me. Don’t be a pussy, they will warm up, I promise”

You say touching him again

“Mhhhhh -he cries- usually you don’t have cold hands”

He says

“Because you’re the last one that I treat, I.N always get my cold hands, and he got used to it”

“Oh poor I.N, he-ah he has-ah to get through this”

“Stop whimpering”

“I’m not whimpering”

“Yes, you are”

“No, I’m-ah not”

“See, you’re a whimper man”

You say massaging the lower part of his back

"I'm not-ah-fuck"

"next time, if I say that you have to rest, go home, take a warm shower, eat something, and go to bed, you're lucky that you don't have a fever"

you slap his back

"aah what's wrong with you?"

"you're an asshole, and you act like a child"

you slap him again

"stop slapping me"

he says sitting down on the small massage bed

"no"

you slap him again

"oh my god stop it"

"no - you slap his chest - you know that you could've hurt your self huh? you and your stupid anger issues - you slap once again - what you were trying to gain to stupid bitch?"

"stop slapping me"

he says blocking your wrists

"I said I'm sorry, next time if I'll feel overwhelmed I'll call you okay? just bring soju with you"

"soju? wanna get drunk?"

you ask trying to escape from his grip

"fuck yes, I need to get drunk"

"I'll buy soju on my way home and you can come over okay?"

"you’re inviting me in your house?"

he asks, caressing your wrists with his thumb

"yeah, you know no boys around so we can talk freely, and I'll make dinner"

"mh...okay then"

he says smiling, showing once again his stupid dimples

"now, let me finish my job okay? go home, take a warm shower and then come over"

"okay mom"

"don't"

you try to hide a smile

"now lay down"

he stares at you

"please?"

you say, and this bitch lays down, just because you said please? fuck it's going to be looong night

"try not to whimper this time okay?"

you whisper near his hear

"I'll try, ma'am"

-

you just got out of the shower when you hear the doorbell

"SHIT, WAIT GIVE ME A SECOND"

you scream, trying to dress yourself as fast as you can, not thinking about who's your guest, but honestly you don't give a fuck, you're in your own house and it's summer, that's what you think trying to justify your shorts and tank top

"Hi Channie, I'm sorry I made you wait, come in"

"Oh, Hei no worries it's my fault, I should've texted you"

he says taking off his shoes before getting inside

"I wouldn't answered you, my phone died at work, and I was so late that the moment I came home, I prepared the sauce for the pasta and I jumped into the shower"

"no worries -he giggles- wanna help with dinner while you dry your hair?”

"oh no, stay away from my kitchen, set the table and open the red wine that you find in the counter"

"yes ma'am"

he says

"damn, this wine looks good where did you get it?"

"oh-my mom send a bunch of stuff from Italy to me, so I don't get homesick"

you say stirring the sauce

"stuff like alcohol?"

"yes, and food"

you laugh

"sooo much food, the best that I can do is sharing, you know sharing is caring"

"and what are you making tonight?"

he says looking over your shoulders

"mh, pasta all'arrabbiata"

"i have no idea of what it is but sounds good, also I've never heard you talking in italian, sounds sexy"

"CHAN"

"WHAT"

"stop it"

you say turning towards him

"what I'm not doing anything"

"you're flirting"

you say

"flirting? I don't know what flirting is"

he says with a smile on his face

"oh put those dimples away"

you say turning to the kitchen counter, checking if the pasta is ready, or maybe you don't want to show him your cheeks getting redder

"we can sit, while we wait for the pasta”

you say walking towards him

“wanna a glass of wine?"

"please, yes"

you say almost disparately, he pours two BIG glasses of wine

"cheers, to the best physiotherapist ever"

"to the most stubborn person I know, who can't listen"

you say looking him in the eyes

"cheers Chan"

"cheers y/n"

"so you think I'm stubborn huh?"

"oh yeah, definitely"

"why?"

he asks sipping his wine

"why what? why I think you're a stubborn?"

he nods

"you don't listen to people who care about you? and you do almost everything without thinking? and you think you're invicible, you try to keep everything on your shoulders forgetting that you're a human? mh yes, you're a stubborn"

"damn, you can't lie huh?"

"nope"

you say sipping some wine

"can I check the pasta or you're going to kill me?"

"no, I'll check it, in my house guests don't make dinner"

"mh, can I come here more often?"

he asks giggling

"of course, the door is always open for you...I mean you guys, you know, you and the boys, all of them"

you get up, slapping mentally your face

what the fuck y/n behave yourself, he's just a friend. A hot one tho, but just a friend.

thanks God the pasta is ready, you mix it with the sauce and then pour it in two plates

"here we go"

you say sitting next to Chan, he waits for you, and after you take the first bite, he starts eating with you

“You need something else?”

"absholutely noth, thish ish perfect"

he says with his mouth full of pasta, you smile at this sight of him, without his working dark aura. People says that he's scary as fuck when he's working, and they mean it, he change completely, especially when he is in the studio, it's like an alter ego (we can call it Christopher yeah)

"so...you like it?"

you ask taking a bite a food

"yesh -he swallows- I want you to come at the dorm and cook for me...I mean us everyday, oh you should do a cooking competition with Lee Know, I would probably die because the good food but it would be a great death"

you laugh

"it's called food coma"

"really?"

he asks

"mhmm, try my nonna's food then we can talk about food coma"

"nonna is...?"

"oh, my grandma, she is a great chef"

"then I have to meet her"

he says finishing his plate

"in order to meet her you have to go to Italy, also she doesn't speak a word of English or Korean so you have to learn Italian"

"for good food? I'll do everything. You can be my teacher, I'm sure that you know how to speak it"

"me? your teacher?"

"yes"

"why me?"

"because you can speak Italian and I want to spend more time with you"

you choke on wine

"you what?"

you try to speak between the cough

"you okay?"

he asks patting gently your back

"yes, I'm okay, thanks. You really mean it?"

you ask

"what?"

"that you want to spend more time with me"

"yes, and I don't mean at the studio. I want to know you better as a friend, as a person"

"fuck Chan"

you get up, taking both of the plates to wash it

"fuck Chan what?"

he follows you at the sink

"we can't, you-you can't know me better"

"why not?"

he asks shrugging his shoulders

"because-I can't"

"mh? you have a boyfriend in Italy?"

"no"

"then why I can't know you better?"

"my...my contract, I signed a contract when the company hired me"

"and?"

he asks

"I can't have anything with my patients, and you're one of them"

you say looking at him

"where is the problem? -he asks- we're not at the company, we're just two friends who had dinner together, with some wine"

he says getting closer to you

"Chan please...don't"

"what? I'm not doing anything"

he says

"I know, it's me, I'm the problem, I don't know if I can contain my self right now, not after what you said"

"then do it, don't contain your self"

"this-you move your hands between your bodies-won't happened ever again"

"I can't make this promise"

he traps you with his arms between his body and the sink

"fuck Chan"

you say before kissing him on the lips, they’re so soft and you fucking knew it.

“We shouldn’t do that”

You say in between the kisses

“Shut up”

He says lifting you up, your legs locked behind his back

“Fuck-fuck-fuck it’s cold”

You say when your ass touch the marble of the kitchen counter, he giggling in your lips. Hands on his curls, pulling almost too roughly but he doesn’t seem to mind it

“That’s the revenge for the massage with your stupid cold hands”

“Yeah? If this the revenge that i get I’ll switch your turn with I.N so you’ll have my cold hands on your body everyday”

You say kissing his neck, way too roughly, biting and sucking his soft skin. For sure he’s going to have marks all over his neck tomorrow, but there’s make up to cover it up right?

“Sofa, please”

You say looking in his eyes

“Fuck I love when you beg, it turns me on”

He says picking up by your thighs, walking to the small sofa in your living room.

“You get turned on easily huh?”

“Shut up, I bet that you’re wet since I came into your house”

He says sitting on the couch, your legs on each side of him

“I’m always wet when your around”

“Yeah? So many lost opportunities for my dick”

He says pouting, placing his hands on your ass

“None of my business”

You say smiling, kissing his lips again and again, his tongue sliding inside your mouth, so gently and sweet, he taste like good wine, and you feel you can almost get drunk just with his tongue (maybe you’re already are)

“Stop grinding on my dick or i will fuck you in this small sofa”

“Such a dirty mouth Christopher”

You say grinding on him once more

“Mmhph please don’t use that name”

“Why not whimper man?”

You say placing your hands on his abs

“Your accent, I don’t know it’s just, I don’t know”

“Wow, you have clear ideas”

You laugh getting more comfortable on his lap, even if there’s something hard hat almost bothers you.

“You know what I’ve been thinking the whole day? At the studio, in the shower, even while I was in the car to come here”

“What?”

“Your hands, and that thing that you said to me”

“Mh?”

You’re confused, trying to understand what his talking about

“Your handjobs”

“Ooooh that, why? I mean it’s just a handjob”

You say shrugging your shoulders

“Yeah but why they’re so special?”

“Oh you wanna know the key huh?”

He nods looking at you

“My job”

“They teach you how to do-“

“Nonono”

You laugh shaking your hands

“Because of my job I have to use a lot of massage oil, coconut oil and stuff like that, so my hands are soft”

“Oooh so that’s the key”

“Yeah, some love, and coconut oil or lube”

“So that’s why you smell like coconut”

You laugh

“Yes, but I have a question”

“What’s up?”

He asks

“Wanna try?”

“What?”

You look at him

“Oooh that? I-I mean if you want to”

“I’m asking for your consent Chris, I’ve teased you enough today”

You laugh

“You think? I’ve been hard the whole day, my balls might be turned blue, so it’s a yes”

“Give me a second okay?”

You leave a kiss on his lips and go to your bed room searching for the coconut oil (that of course it’s in your bed side table for scientific purposes👀) you glance quickly your self in the mirror and you’re a mess, but don’t mind it.

“Here I am”

You say, sitting once again on his lap

“Let me warm you up a little more yeah?”

You say kissing his lips way more roughly than the first time, and a moan slips into your mouth

“Here you are my favorite whimper boy”

You say grinding your hips on him

“Mhhphf, I’m not whimpering, it’s just that- it’s the first time that someone - I’m the one who’s on top usually”

“Uuuh we have a dom here mh? Interesting, but let me be the one in control tonight yeah?”

“Please…y/n it hurts please do something”

He says in a desperate tone, kissing you so roughly that your lips are going to be swollen tomorrow

You work with his pants, taking out his warm and hard cock, that is leaking pre-cum liquid

“So needy”

You look at him in the eyes, you open the little jar and squeeze it a couple of drops drop in your dominant hand

“Can I?”

“Yes, please y/n please”

You slowly trace you fingertips around the head of his dick, spreading the pre cum liquid, making his dick slippery.

You wrap your hand around his dick, stroking it up and down so slowly that he looks so desperate.

“God- Please move, this is so frustrating”

He says placing his hands on top of yours

“Ah-ah put this hands behind your back, you can’t touch it”

“But it’s my cock”

He says arguing

“You have two options, you can place your hands behind you back and let me do my job, or I can tie you up so can’t move at all”

You say still stroking his dick

“No, no okay, I’ll put them behind my back”

“Such a good boy”

You kiss his lips, a deep moan sleeping out of his mouth. You place your hand on the base of his dick, using a tighter grip then before, moving it up and down paying attention to his head and to the most sensitive part of it.

“Mhhphf-fuck”

You keep moving your hand on him, and you know that he’s close by the way he move his body, the way he breathe, and the way he’s looking at you, his hands on your ass has a tighter grip now

“Fuck, I’m about to cum, please, please don’t stop.”

And of course you don’t stop, you already played too much with him, you stroke his cock faster now and he cums, a warm load of white and thick liquid running down his dick. You lick your fingers smiling, his head resting on your shoulder.

“Fuck”

He giggles

“What-who are you? Jesus Christ I’m-”

You giggle with him

“Now I’ll have a boner every time you treat me at the studio, you and your stupid coconut oil”

You laugh louder now, knowing that it’s not a joke.

“You laughing at me?”

He asks looking at you

“Yeah, maybe”

You shrug your shoulders

“Right…let me see if you can handle Christopher, yeah?”

He gets up, picking you up on one of his shoulders

“Waaaaa, what does this mean? Chaaaaan put me down”

“Ahah, Chan is not available at the moment call him later”

He says picking up that stupid coconut oil and walking away from the couch

“Now, tell me where is your bed room”

-

-

A/N: I think this is my first real smut, uhm this is so embarrassing, imma eclisse my self bye love you

[phramboise]

the dry salvages — captainjohnpricexfemale reader

is it smoking he hates?

short take, angst, smoking, character death…

How he hates smoking this filth. Now stubbing it down and scraping the metal of the ashtray with his index finger as he rubs the cigar on it, his thumb pulsates, he presses it over the still burning spot as if punishing himself.

For what, exactly? He seems not to know, now. Rather, he ignores it.

He hates the taste, tar pooling down his palate, burning down his trachea. He hastes tasting it even when tasting something else. He hates that he has the chance to taste the warm, untouched, and limitless pleasure off you, one to lick the caramel smeared on your lips but there is always a veil at the roof of his mouth that limits it. He hates being this addicted, hates that all there’s left to him after the hallucinogenic pinnacle that lures him along with the bite tugging on his lips with your teeth when you part, is the poison behind his teeth.

The smell, he hates that it seeps behind his nails, even when trimmed until they pulsate and washed to the point where skin breaks, how it permeates through the fabric of his clothes even after they are aired, washed over and over with the many programmes of the machine. He hates that he smells ash and tobacco when rising his shirt to his nose, instead of burnt lavender and coconut of your lotion, or the musky oil of your skin; and however he denies, he hates the fact that the whole house smells like it too, smells like him. Him and the smoke, roaming in the ground like rivulets, rising in the air like chimneys, together and inseparable like lovers.

He hates that he cannot sleep because of it, for it invades his sleep, steals the only moment where he gets to not to think of a thing. His fingers itch, wishing for something to get his mind off it, and you yourself are sleeping. Waking up more than once on some nights, he hates that it still is on his mind after brushing his teeth to get rid of it for countless minutes, dozing off with the brush in his hand, leaned against the cold tiles. Hates the times where he had to go out to the balcony and leave your hold for a smoke, where he couldn’t kiss you to not stain your diligent skin too. And as if reminding himself of those moments, -and perhaps the wounded yearns for another wound, he keeps smoking, and not even bothering stepping out to clear air anymore. On your shared bed, with your pillow soaked in your perfume to suppress the desperate, desolate air, he lays down on his side, taking a deep puff, then another without letting the blow out of his lips. Teeth bite the roll, one hand presses on his temples as the other searches for you on your side of the bed. He hates how common this occurs, and each moment where he had the chance to kiss you but just couldn’t, hates each wasted opportunity, each kiss traded for something so mundane.

He hates it for it is always near. Always with him, always able and never leaving. For however deep he wishes, however determined, he cannot quit.

For unlike you, it stays.

So, he comes to see you with it between his lips, for yours cannot be. And he hates how he even thinks to try replacing an object of worship with something so simple, something so filthy. It can never give what your lips did, yet he still tries. For there’s nothing else to do, and he still waits for you to tell him to stop it.

But you don’t.

Leaning back against the cold concrete, the lighter still burns the cigar even when it rains slightly, and he lays his head on the one by your feet, while his eyes look at the stone that has your name carved on. And the cigar is still with him. Tears are pointless when it’s raining. Regret is unmemorable when what’s gone is gone.

He loves another, and thus he hates himself. For now, something much more solid holds your delicate skin, has you tight in a much more promising hold, much more loyal than his. And this hold is consuming, much persistent, never letting you out. Never once in his nighttime dreams, and he hates it too. Never once an illusion, never once you sleep in his head.

He hates smoking for it causes a slow and painful death, and what you had giving him the exact same.

...

heavily influenced by Brooke Solis

[brxflovskii]

curse of the curls | kyle brovlofski

✩ character: kyle brovlofski

✩ synopsis: in which kyle’s older sister teaches him how to take proper care of his curly hair!

✩ tags: fluff, brother-sister bonding, brother-sister bickering, cursing, slight family drama, mention of stan having a kiddie crush on kyle’s older sister (you), lowkey projection abt the whole hair thing as someone with curly hair.

kyle was never fond of his hair.

loudly red, poofy with kinky curls that he never learned how to tame so he stuffed all of it underneath his green trapper hat. none of his friends or family had hair like his except for his older sister, so how was he supposed to know? his mother would do it every morning when he was little, wetting and scrunching his red curls hours before school started, but she stopped when ike required more attention.

so the care for his hair stopped then, too. he ran a brush through it for a few minutes before his mother would shout his name to leave for school, or try some of his older sister’s curl masks when she wasn’t looking at bath time.

but he quickly realized that he was in over his head — or, hair. he stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, the porcelain countertop covered in hairbrushes, combs, bottles, and puddles of water. and yet his hair was still a blazing tumbleweed.

it wasn’t that he resented his hair. stan always told him it was the color of his favorite crayon, and his family said it brought out the color of his eyes and suited his face shape. he just hated how much work it was. if only he knew what that work even was.

so he resorted to calling for backup.

that was how he landed in the doorway of his older sister’s bedroom, a hesitant hand hovering over your open door. you were hunched over her desk, scribbling into a notebook while scanning a sizable textbook. your own long ginger curls were pulled into a loose loop at the nape of your neck, and kyle noted how shiny and soft they looked.

kyle knocked, words suddenly catching in his throat when you turned towards him. “hey dude, what’s up?” you asked cautiously, setting your pencil down.

you watched your little brother shift around awkwardly, muttering to himself. in one hand, he had his iconic green hat halfway tucked behind his back, and you quickly got a slight idea about his dilemma.

you waited for him to speak first, the words taking some time for him to find. “can you, um, can you help me with my hair?” he asked quietly, almost begrudgingly, before tacking on an even smaller, “please.”

you hummed aloud as you stood up, pretending to contemplate your options before gesturing for kyle to head into the bathroom. you followed close behind, gawking at the mess your brother made while he hopped up onto the stool he used to reach the sink.

“what, you need help brushing it out?” you asked, trying to find the spray bottle and detangling brush amidst the catastrophe.

“well, sorta,” kyle began, plucking the two items off of the counter and hauling them over his shoulders for you. “can you show me how you do yours?”

you cocked your head at first, beginning to separate his thick curls into manageable sections. “like, how i style it?” you asked, curious. your curl styling routine was fairly intensive, involving your diffuser and tons of mousse.

“no, like… you know, the lotions and shit you put in it to make it all soft.” he waved his hands around, hoping you would understand. you did, promptly nodding and peering into the shower curtain to grab your leave-in conditioners and a special coconut oil mask.

he read the labels on them, trying to memorize the brand or at least the name of the product. he watched in the mirror as you started to squeeze some of the coconut stuff into your palm and rub it through his damp hair. he didn’t dare admit it felt good, his shoulders relaxing like he was at a spa.

“i thought you knew how to do your hair, dude. didn’t mom ever show you?” you piped up, meeting kyle’s eyes in the mirror. kyle gently shook his head and hummed a soft ‘mm-mm.’ “wait, then what do you do to it?”

“nothing.” kyle answered. “i just brush it after i shower.”

you squinted at your brother. he showered pretty regularly for a boy his age, so you weren’t worried about that, but you wondered if he washed his curls every day. so you began a long, rambled lecture about how he needed to change his hair routine if he wanted to keep his hair healthy.

eventually you worked a mask and some leave-in conditioner into all of his hair and started brushing it through, making sure you weren’t pulling on it too hard and hurting him. “dude you’ve got hella knots back here, it’s because of that damn hat.” kyle rolled his eyes at the lecture before it melted into a wince as you retaliated by yanking on one of those knots.

“alright, alright.” kyle grumbled.

silence overtook the makeshift hair salon, you intently focused on your client’s hair and kyle intently focused on the care you were putting into brushing his thick curls out. it wasn’t rare that you put so much effort into him, but kyle hated that he never did anything like that for you.

he couldn’t buy you any great gifts for your birthday because your parents only gave him five bucks a month for doing chores, nor could he do you any long distance favors because he was only ten and couldn’t legally operate the station wagon gerald let you borrow sometimes. he couldn’t brush your curls out because he wouldn’t fucking know how to. that’s what you were here for.

kyle unintentionally let out a deflated sigh, and it pierced the silence. you looked up over the top of his shrub of hair, thinking you hurt him, but instead caught a glimpse of his glassy eyes locked on the sink and his frowning mouth.

“what’s up?” you asked softly, momentarily letting his hair go to lean against the counter. kyle tried to brush off his expression and act like he had no idea what you were talking about, but he could never fool you. maybe ike, maybe your parents, but never you. “am i hurting you?”

“no, it’s just..” kyle trailed off with another defeated sigh, “you’re always helping me and ike out, aren’t you tired of it? i should know how to do this myself by now—”

“oh, come on, what are you on about, man?” you stopped him before he could go on and on and eventually make himself cry. “no, i’m never tired of it, dude. i’m your older sister, i’m supposed to help you guys. sure, mom should’ve shown you how to do this, but i don’t mind.”

kyle’s lips formed a little pout while you spoke, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his sudden sentiment. that made his face flush red and he sent you a colorful little hand signal in the mirror. still, you recognized the fondness that fueled it. “yeah yeah, whatever dude.”

“trust me, i hated my curls when i was your age.” you admitted with a sigh.

it was true. when you were around kyle’s age, you were beginning to accustom yourself to the torment from asshole boys in your classes — the same torment you often see in one of kyle’s little friends, eric cartman — and started to familiarize yourself with a hair straightener rather than curl cream.

sheila hardly protested, figuring it was less time she would spend teaching you how to properly care for your curls. you had to navigate the world of curls and coils on your own, begging sheila to buy the products you saw on the television and in the newspaper ads until you were able to buy them yourself with allowance money. you would never want kyle to go through that, too.

and it wasn’t that you resented sheila or anything; she was a fantastic mother. she had a head of beautiful, healthy curls when she was younger, though those times were now stuck in photographs from before you were born. but since she gained a life chock full of responsibilities, she dropped her intensive routine and settled for sacrificing her curl pattern for comfort.

you were sure you would end up just like that someday. with a husband and children with your bright red, kinky hair and no knowledge left to spare them on how to make them shine.

“dude?” kyle’s voice, suddenly emerging from the edge of the long distance you withdrew to, snapped you back to the present. you caught your little brother’s eye, which were filled with worry and unease. “where’d you go?”

you straightened up and resumed the detangling behind him. “sorry,” you replied, “but as i was saying, i hated my curls, dude. peopled used to rip on me for them and mom didn’t really want to style it naturally, so i had to learn myself.”

kyle only listened. he could hear the genuine hurt in your voice and couldn’t counter it with any light jokes or words of reassurance. so he let you work it out in your head, wincing a few times when you took it out on his hair for a second.

“i lost my curl pattern when i was your age. i always straightened it or had it slicked back.”

“really? i don’t remember that.”

“it’s in a few pictures i stole outta the scrapbooks last year, so you’ve probably never seen ‘em.”

“dude!” kyle suddenly interjected, his brows coming together. “dad thought that was me because i went through that phase where i didn’t want them taking pictures of me!” he glared at you through the mirror, to which you replied with an awkward grin.

“my bad, dude. why didn’t you just rat me out?”

“i tried to!” his little outburst made your eyes narrow with frustration. “but he didn’t believe me.”

you scrambled to keep that affectionate atmosphere alive and searched for a topic to shift to. “okay, so now you leave this in for about half an hour and then rinse it out.” kyle obnoxiously rolled his eyes at your inability to be subtle, but he listened nonetheless. “and you brush it out while it’s still wet and scrunch some mousse into it to keep the curls. and let it dry — without that hat.”

“mousse? dude, weak.” kyle grumbled.

you lightly smacked him on the back of the head, hard enough to make his neck tilt but soft enough so that he wouldn’t immediately try to get you back. “you asked how i take care of my hair, dude.” he scoffed when he realized you had him in a metaphorical corner.

“okay, how often do i do this?”

you hummed, running your fingers through his hair to draw up an answer. “once or twice a week. probably less. i wouldn’t worry too much, dude. you got strong curls.”

he seemed to like this news, his mouth curving upwards into a little smile. he found your gaze in the reflection and his grin widened. “thanks.”

you tried to hide your own satisfied smile and started cleaning the mess that he had created, tucking brushes and detangling sprays back underneath the sink cabinet. “you’re welcome matchstick.” you giggled when his expression suddenly dropped and his eyes narrowed to that level where he started to contemplate whether getting yelled at was worth getting a good quick punch in.

he followed you back to your bedroom to wait for the half an hour he was supposed to let the mask marinate and hopped up onto your bed while you worked on your homework. he poked and prodded at your assignment, asking what class it was for and what you were learning.

you told him, not because you were intentionally trying to flex your knowledge on him but because you knew he would understand what you were talking about. kyle was a bright kid, that was something you two shared and certainly got from gerald.

the two of you bounced school conversation and gossip in kyle’s little friend group back and forth until the half an hour had long passed and he decided he wanted to rinse his hair. even then, the conversation still flowed while you aimed kyle’s head underneath the shower head and helped him get all of the products out.

“yeah, cartman ended up getting in deep shit when the butt-face family realized kenny wasn’t really their son and it was a prank.” his words were slightly muffled, but you followed along.

“holy crap, so there were really people with asses for faces? and they thought kenny was their long lost son because he decided to put his ass in his parka for his class picture?” you recapped the story, gawking when kyle confirmed it. “dude, your friends are fucking weird.”

“yeah… even stan?”

mention of the marsh boy’s name made your eyebrow quirk upward. he wasn’t deeply involved in the tale kyle just told, so his question had come out of left field. he knew your opinion on stanley marsh; he was a nice boy who treated kyle and your family with respect.

your family was quite close with the marshes and you practically grew up with the kids. you weren’t particularly close to them, you being significantly older than both of them, but you enjoyed their presence when they came over for dinner or when stan came over to play with kyle. the boy was fond of you, you knew that. he wasn’t very subtle about it, either.

“especially stan.” you responded with pure sarcasm in your voicr. “you need to tell that kid that i’m too old for him. i thought he was with wendy testaburger?”

kyle swayed back and forth over the edge of the bathtub. “they hit a rough patch. but trust me, i keep telling him. you think i like hearing about my best friend’s crush on my sister?”

“fair.” you sighed. “alright, all clean.” you sat back on your heels and helped him stand upright, catching his dripping curls into a soft towel.

kyle finished wrapping the towel around his head, you watching with a slight smile. he wanted to glare at you, figuring you were laughing at him.

“well, that’s my routine.” you rose to your feet and gave him a rough pat on the top of his secured towel. “just brush it out and you’re solid.”

i love my baby kyle hes just so 😞🫶 also i was going to make reader into an oc of mine but i figured it’d be too complicated, so i made it second person. let me know if you’d be interested in an au with all original characters added though! i have older siblings for just about every family lol i love souf pork

[ateezyuri]

WHATS IN YURI’S TRAVELING BAG

“what’s in my bag? i don’t even know what’s inside.”

MAKEUP BAG

“so to start off with, i have this makeup bag that mingi got me for my birthday last year!”

“i just have the necessity’s in here — moisturizer, sunscreen, foundation, concealer, powder, mascara, blush, brow gel, contour, lip gloss, all those life savers. it’s really handy for when i wake up an hour late and have to do my makeup in the car. i think that’s why mingi even bought it for me.”

“if i had to pick my favorite item from this i would probably pick my benefit brow setter and my rare beauty lip oil in the shade happy, rare beauty is my favorite makeup brand ever, the makeup is so pigmented and it’s run by selena gomez, it’s a win win.”

TOILETRIES

“when i first got my purse, i got really excited and just started shoving everything in there, and i quickly figured that i wouldn’t be able to find anything or things would get broken, so i put everything in pouches. i have another pouch, which is chanel, again! i think this was given to me as a gift after my first chanel photo shoot.”

“but in here, i have just a bunch of mini toiletries. i have a mini native deodorant, my favorite scent is coconut and vanilla, it smells so so good.”

“next i have some hair ties, bobby pins, safety pins, and a claw clip. i also have a tiny mirror in here as well.”

“this perfume is literally my favorite perfume ever, it’s the YSL LAVALLIERE. it makes me smell so so good, i have the actual perfume bottle but it’s in my room, for now i’m just keeping the sample in my purse. but it’s literally the best perfume, it lasts so long, and i love to put it on after i work out or after practice, and sometimes when the boys are really stinky i spray them too.”

“lastly, i have some hand sanitizer, hand lotion, a mini dry shampoo bottle, a mini hair brush, and mini toothbrush and toothpaste. i know it’s a lot, but this is the bag that comes with me everywhere, and i mean everywhere.”

MEDICINE BAG

“in this pouch, i just have a few things that i may need throughout the day. first, i have some advil, i have some cough drops, and then i have the powdered electrolyte mixers that you put in water! i also have some mints in here as well. super helpful on days where we are performing!”

HEADPHONES + CHARGER + KEYS

“are you kidding me?!? *yuri sighs when she picks up the charger — that looked like it was on the verge of breaking.* i looked for this EVERYWHERE, and it was in my purse the whole time?”

“hey, don’t make fun of my charger, atiny. it works PERFECTLY fine.”

“i used to be an airpod girly but they kept falling out of my ears when i was working out so now i use headphones. i only use my airpods when i’m in my bed now.”

MINI COLORING BOOK AND MINI COLORED PENCILS

“okay don’t judge — but when you’re waiting to perform or for others to get ready, it can get very boring. i find coloring mini fairies very therapeutic in stressful times.”

EYE DROPS

“you gotta have them — they are a NECESSITY. i think i need to restock my eye drops though — i used them all after i held staring competitions with all the boys yesterday on vlive. i won all of them, by the way.”

“what do you mean “did they know of these competitions?” of course they did! they just chose to lose like the losers they are.”

SNACKS

“if you know me, you know i always need some snacks. in my purse i have some protein bars and cookies, and then it look like i have some sea salt seaweed crisps. a very interesting combination, but they are really good when i have low energy!”

GLASSES + CONTACTS CASE

i have my eye glasses and then a case for my contacts as well as solution! after schedules my eyes get really dry or if the air quality is bad i like to take my contacts out and put my glasses on! or if i want to take a nap i take them out, before i used to just take a nap in my studio with them in and they would fall out and i had a lot of dried contacts everywhere, so hongjoong made me start taking them out. he was tired of finding contacts everywhere he sat i guess.”

WALLET

lastly, here is my wallet! i have my keys attached to it because sometimes i just grab my wallet when i’m just going to the store or something, i only haul my purse around when i really need it.”

tags: @atzaria @ateezjuliet @m00niesk7 @btsnvra @softieteez @shinyddeonghwa @girlzwfun @still-astray @txt-yaomi @kittiverse @billboard-singer @mrk-lees [send an ask to be included or removed]

[noeysnowy]

Binding for newbies

(This is not a comprehensive list and your welcome to add if i missed anything)

SO! You want to bind your chest, well your in luck i have some info and tips so you have somewhere to start off!

The 2 ways im familiar with binding is by using transtape and a chest binder.

Ill be talking about:

- What they are

- The pros and cons

- Application/usage (and removal)

- And the potential dangers

transtape:

is a tape made from cotton and spandex that you apply to you chest, you cut two strips that you apply on your boobs and then pull your boobs out to each side. Youll find it in rolls like this

Chest binders:

are a vest that compresses your chest. Theyre a very popular method of binding. They’ll typically look like this (you can also get a swim binder)

Pros!

Transtape:

- is great for shaping the chest into a masculine shape! It’s incredibly customisable because you cut the peices yourself and decide how flat you want it.

- It can be worn for up to 5 days! You can work out, shower, swim and do practically anything with it on and itll stick! Itll get a little icky after those days but you can enjoy your flattened chest for a whole week!

It usually comes in a range of skin-colours to match or you can get fun patterns and colours!

Binder:

- its much quicker to put on and its an easy everyday solution

- many say their chest feels flatter with a binder

-feels very secure because of the pressure

- its just one purchase that last years!

Cons

Transtape

- When you take it off your skin is sensitive and in my experience my nipples are very sensitive

-if applied wrong it can seriously irritate the skin, so the proper application method is a little slow

-its all about practice so you might not get the flatness you want on your very first try

- you have to continuously buy some instead of it just being one purchase (make sure to cross reference so you dont have to way wayyyy to much)

Binder:

- you cant do any sports because you arent able to breathe like you should. I mean it, do not do sports with a binder. (You can get a specific swim binder though)

- it can get dangerous if you where it for more than 8 hours a day

- its a bit tricky to put on and take off

- get sweaty so you have to wash them

Application/usage (and removal):

So the most important part about binding is doing it correctly, but its often hard to find info on what not to do and what to do, so I’ve compiled everything you need to know.

Transtape:

Application is tricky and i find writtten instruction is basically useless so i found some great video tutorials on how to apply it!

Small chest:

Medium chest:

Big chest:

And a very important part is taking transtape off again, now i have personally commited the cardinal sin of just ripping it off, dont do that you will fuck up your skin. Instead you have to lather the peice of tape in oil (any oil is good, i use coconut) and lather the whole thing so its very saturated, then wait a 1-3 minutes for the adhesive to let go and then peal it off. If you feel its sticking to your skin still, put some more on and pull softly.

And heres a video for good measure:

In general the TransTape youtube channel is great for info about transtape, so definetly check them out if you buy some. Their website also offers transtape, nipple covers and oil.

Binder:

Binders are a lot quicker to put on as its just a vest, but its tight and its a bit tricky so if you can get someone to help you on your first try id recommend that.

Now there are a few important things to know about wearing binders, so you can wear them properly and not fuck up your ribs

1. Make sure to get the right size, this is very important for your chest health (your website should have a measurement chart)

2. Never wear it longer than 8 hours

3. Take a minimum of 2 break days a week (as in dont wear it) I usually do that in the weekend.

4. Never double bind, as in wear two at once, and never wear a tight sportsbra over or under it to make it flatter, again you will fuck up your ribs and you cant fix that.

5. If it hurts take it off, I know dysphoria is an incredibly tough battle but your health is more important. I believe in you <3

6. Never and i mean never do sports with a binder on

7. Wash it! it gets sweaty and stinky over time so definetly wash it. I wash by hand with some warm water and delicate laundry detergent but your specific binder should have instructions on how to wash it on the tag.

Dangers:

Both of these methods sadly have some downsides, but they are avoidable if you use them correctly

Transtape:

can irritate your skin if you put it on wrong, it gets itchy and if you scratch, you can cause sores, which then means you cant wear your tape till its healed. Ive tried this and it is a HELL so put it on properly!

Binders:

Are dangerous because they compress your entire chest and that means your ribs and all the important organs inside em, so when buying i binder make sure to buy yours size and if youre in between, buy the bigger one, under no sircumstance should you but a binder that is to small, it can seriously harm you.

When your ribs are bent, you cant unbend them and they will hurt when you sleep and breathe so please wear it correctly

All in all thats it! I sadly dont know every website for binders and transtape out there but these are the ones ive used (theyre DK specific)

Transting (for binders)

Peech (For transtape)

if you know of any other websites you trust your welcome to add them!

I hope this was a help on your journey with gender expression and euphoria, i love you, I believe in you and happy fucking with gender out there <333

[swordshapedleaves]

How to clean cutting boards and butcher block counters

A friend on discord said they'd appreciate a cutting board care tutorial so here it is!

Note 1: sometimes wooden counters are treated or sealed. You can still clean them like this but the oils and wax will not absorb into sealed wood.

Note 2: when working with wood, always go with the grain. Follow the lines of the wood when cleaning, oiling, waxing or anything else.

Note 3: this is a messy process that takes hours. I usually do it in my underwear to keep from getting oil on my clothes.

First Step: Clean!

You can use dish soap and hot water on a cutting board but doing it super often can dry them out and cause cracking. I pretty much only use soap if I cut raw meat or something super sticky that won't rinse off.

For countertops I use distilled white vinegar and scrub it with a rag. This won't get the stains out but if I wanted stainless countertops I wouldn't have one made of wood.

This little cart thing is from Ikea and is like a portable kitchen island or countertop. It's raw wood and I use it to cook so it's got all kinds of food stains, even though I wipe it down regularly. I've already cleaned it with vinegar in these photos, but it's been a few months since I've oiled and waxed it. You can see how pale and dry the wood is.

Second Step: Oil!

You want to use mineral oil. It is odorless, flavorless, very unlikely to cause allergic reactions, and cheap. Don't buy cutting board oil. It's just overpriced mineral oil. Don't use a food oil like coconut or flax or almond. They will eventually go rancid and make your cutting board smell rancid. Buy your mineral oil at the drugstore from the laxatives section.

Drizzle that shit on your wood. Be sparing to start as you can always add more.

Rub it in with your hands. You want the wood evenly soaked with oil. Rub it into the whole surface and into the sides as well. If you're doing this to a cutting board, make sure to get every side and edge.

Bare hands work best and the oil will leave your hands so soft. If you use a rag (not recommended!) please be aware that oily rags can spontaneously combust and dispose of them carefully.

I love how the color changes to a richer darker brown as the wood absorbs the oil.

Once you have a nice thick coat of oil on your board, let it hang out for an hour or so to absorb as much of it as it can. If any spots look dry, add more oil. (I admit I skipped the wait this time.)

Step 3: Wax!

Cutting board conditioner is so expensive but really it's just a mix of mineral oil and wax, sometimes with some kind of fragrance added. You can make your own at home for way cheaper, either in the microwave if you're making a small batch or in a double boiler if you wanna make a big batch. You can find a ton of tutorials online for this by searching for "cutting board conditioner recipe" but basically you just melt the wax (beeswax is the best IMO) and mix in some mineral oil. The ratio of wax:oil is a preference thing. I like around 1:3, my sister uses 1:5, I saw someone online who prefers 1:8. Find your own ideal.

I also use mine as lip balm and cuticle cream.

But however you acquire the stuff, it's time to smear it all over your over your cutting board, just like you did the oil. If you're using a softer blend than mine, you will likely need to wipe up any excess oil before waxing.

Rub it in until you have a smooth even coat.

Let it hang out and absorb for another hour or two. I waited about 90 minutes this time. Then wipe off any excess wax with paper towels until the surface is no longer tacky.

Your board or counter is now ready to use again!

[pussypinkdoll]

GIVE ME ADVICE YALL!!

yall i need some guidance okay.. so like my man had been texting the girl i told yall about who was flirting with him she not really my friend no more she is more of my sisters friend and if yall dont know my man has been doing exams for a straight week and we havent gotten to see each other since them but we would text a bit or send each other reels right. also he practically tells me everything so back to what i was saying. so after he did the tattoo on her like a couple days later when we were supposed to go painting he had me dressed and waiting for hoursss i was bout to go to sleep and say fuck him right. so right when i was in the middle of my sleep he calls me all angry and annoyed andd shit and hes like "bro your friend is so fucking stupid bro like i told her all the things she is supposed to do to clean her tattoo, i told her to use vaseline she uses coconut oil -_- " and blah blah blah right so he said he will come pick me up late since hes going to go pick her up to go buy some vaseline since the bitch dont have any transportation and im like alr. so fast forward her tattoo gets a bit infected but its healing rn since she didnt take proper care of it he told me she will be the first person who gets an infected tattoo by him so he was lowkey a bit scared and shit right. yada yada yada fast forward he would do like daily check ups on her to see how the tattoo is right and he told me he went to go see how the tattoo is and mind you the tatoo is in the middle of her chest right, so he asks to see the tattoo and she pulls her shirt down the middle a bit to show it he says he still cant see tell me why she lifts her whole shirt up showing her boobs and everything he said he looked away automatically plus that nigga car is like a fish bowl with no tint he told me he doesnt want to be seen with the likes of her but anyway. blah blah blah he tells me that while she was in the car she hit his puff to whicb he wiped off after and she was saying that he should take her to miami with him and shit he was like hell no and she was talking bout she lucky she dont got lashes on her cuz she wouldve left it in his car so one of his lil hoes can see im like... weird but ok. right so fast forward again he texted her today asking how the tattoo is and shes texting my sister sending a screen shot of him triple texting her about it and saying that he needs to get tf and my sister shows me and my sister is like " at this point he dont really care about the tattoo he want her" and im like... is she right?? like tell me how i should feel yall or what should i do because usually my hear would burn in situations like this but it isnt so maybe its not that serious and i really like this boy yall so if he a red flag to yall tell me so i can drop him so i can tell the hoes im back.

[ihavetoomuchhomeworkforthis]

I don't actually know if many people have the resources to do this, especially if they normally rely on fast food, but what my family (5 people) does for most dinners is this:

(I have done this before and it isn't difficult. The process takes maybe 40 minutes if I had to estimate. I hope this helps!)

Things you need: big pot/pan/wok, another big metal pot, a colander (pot with small holes), a big spoon, noodles, many vegetables, cooking oil (olive oil, coconut oil, vegetable oil, grapefruit seed oil, really doesn't matter much) and ideally some tomato/marinara sauce

Large wok/pot

Put some oil in it (don't turn on the heat yet)

Chop up an onion into relatively small bits (and toss it in the oil, now you can turn on the heat)

Get a big wooden spoon and use it to occasionally stir the onions

If you have spices (oregano, basil, cumin, things listed on the back of a tomato sauce container) you can put that in too

Get another big (tall, metal) pot, fill it 3/4 of the way with water (tap water from your kitchen sink) and put that on a second burner. It'll take a while to start boiling.

Chop up various other vegetables, whatever you have (we get them from the local farmer's market) and toss them into the onions

You might need to add more oil and/or turn down the heat at this point

Carrots, broccoli, other "hard" vegetables go in first, while cucumber, zucchini, spinach, leafy green things similar to spinach (lettuce), peppers, other "soft" vegetables go in later

Stir often, don't let things stick to the bottom, and if it sizzles too violently, add oil, turn down the heat, maybe even add a little water (which will evaporate)

If you have canned tomatoes, tomato/marinara sauce, or canned beans, you can put those in last (this adds a significant amount of liquid, cooling things down, and effectively ending the cooking process)

About halfway through putting vegetables in, maybe a bit later depending on how fast you chop vegetables, the water should be boiling (constant medium sized bubbles across the whole surface) and you can put in a whole box of noodles, whatever kind you like. Follow the instructions on the back and set a timer accordingly. (Should be 7-12 minutes)

Stir the noodles gently until they've softened enough to be fully underwater, and then just stir them occasionally so they don't stick to the bottom (the big vegetable stirring spoon is fine)

Once you're done with the vegetables, you can turn the heat to low, just to keep it hot while you wait for the noodles, or while you wait for people to show up, whatever

When your noodle timer goes off, use a big spoon (again, the one you used to stir the vegetables is fine) to lift one or two noodles out of the pot (this is a little difficult, it helps to have a specific noodle grabber spoon, but that's not really necessary) and try to eat them (maybe let the noodles hang in the air a few seconds first, they're hot, they were just in boiling water)

If the noodles were too hard/chewy for your liking, keep the rest in the boiling water for maybe 2 more minutes, or estimate how much longer will be necessary, and try again

When you've tried the noodles and they're how you want them to be, turn off the heat

Grab a big colander (round pot with small holes everywhere), put it in the kitchen sink

CAREFULLY grab the pot by the safe plastic handles on either side, with your palms facing upwards, and carry it to the sink

Tilt it AWAY from yourself, above the colander, and pour all the noodles (and water) into the colander, then put the pot back on the stove

There are probably some noodles left over in the pot, you can fish them out (carefully) with any utensil and eat them.

Put some cool water into the colander with noodles, pick it up, shake the noodles around a little (get the water out), and then put the colander on top of the pot

All the heat should be off at this point, and you're ready to serve the food

Put the noodles in your bowls (or plates) first, and then heap the vegetable sauce on top of them. You can use the vegetable spoon for the vegetables, but for the noodles at this point, it's helpful to have tongs or something. Whatever works.

(Depending on how much veggies you use, and whether you add a second box of noodles) This should feed 5 people, with enough leftovers for several people to have seconds, one person to eat the leftovers as lunch the next day, or to be recycled into the next night's meal

i am not joking we need to force teach cooking in schools. like. it is an essential thing for survival. do you know how easy it is to make things if you know even the bare bones shit about how cooking works. we need to teach teenagers how far you can take an onion and some other veggies it''s sad that people grow up not knowing how to prepare literally anything. and i'm not talking about oh this home ed class taught me how to make chicken nuggets at home i'm talking about learning the balancing of sweetness and acidity and saltiness and bitterness and shit like that and techniques and oil temperatures and how meats cook. it needs to be taught because it's literally not even that difficult and it matters so much

[soir-rouges-esprit]

xxxi.x: Coke, Blood & Handguns, “live my life sipping wine and eating high-end food delivered to me by my three male servants.” ... “I’D SUPE UP MY E-TWENTY-EIGHT … Make that baby pur! New paint or maybe a clean wrap with some phonk/trap art … I can just FEEL the hype *sigh*” “SO!?!? What are yah gonna do??” “Yeah come on slick, where’d you move and why am I coming with you?” Ha … I-i … I have no idea … I’m stunned, I can’t even think right now … I’m exhausted honestly. “Well yeah!? Carrying around that much new chedda must be hard … could always you know! … let me carry some??” He said while making a smug face. Yeah right … you’d just blow it on hookers. “EXACTLY!!! Wait you wouldn’t?” *tsch* “Well … it is late … and we were about to call it anyways soooo … how about we call it ok?” Y-yeah … think that's for the best. “WHAT!?!?! You can EVEN THINK About sleeping right now? YOU JUST WON LIFE AND YOU WANNA SLEEP!?” J … seriously … I'm fuckin destroyed over here, mentally and emotionally … I barely know where the fuck I'm even at right now. “WHA- *Sigh* … alrighty … guess the fun had to end eventually … FINE!!! We can end it … ON ONE PROMISE THOUGH!!!” oh boy … I'm not gambling or drinking anymore, so don't even try it. “NO No no … we go get burgers or somethin, I'm starvin and could eat a goddamn homeless man … or a hooker … or both.” “You're fucking gross and need to be evaluated.” Haha yeah ok fine … come to think of it, have we even eaten yet? After a long pause and many head turns to the sky moments, as to capture the light of an idea, we all come to the conclusion that … no … we hadn't really. We've been serving in the desert heat roaming from casino to casino on little snacks we'd pick up at bars (peanuts, granola bars and gummy bears) and drinks from said bars! (Tequila, Jack Daniel's and Choice Vodkas) … “I've been mostly drinking water, and I've packed nutrition bars I've been eating from my bag throughout … You two haven't eaten anything nutritional at all?” … … … “Dear lord … you two need to grow up and plan ahead! You need an emergency bag filled with everything you'd need *zip*” She rustled around in her bag, pulling out all the emergency items she had deemed necessary. “*Rustling* Water Bottle *Rustling* Nutrient Bar *Rustling* Moisturizer and Face Crème *Rustling* Bandaids, Medical Glue, Sewing kit, Tampons, Toothbrush and Toothpaste … Hypoallergenic Lotion and Shampoo/Body Wash.” Are you allergic to most soaps? I thought you used the name-brand stuff? “HALF OF THAT SHIT IS FUCKING USELESS!!! And JESUS How much can you fucking fit in THERE … IT'S LIKE A CLOWN CAR!!!” “No it's just for others that might need it and may be … J shut up … Makeup wipes, contact solution, bug spray or eucalyptus oil for those allergic or sensitive, sunscreen and coconut oil *Rustling* And oh Yeah!! a micro heating pad, with spare fluffy socks!” … We stood in amazement … How'd you fit a whole ass heating pad in there? “BRO I COULD MAKE A BETTER KIT!!! Fuck your nutrient bars … UHHH EVER HERE OF A LITTLE THING CALLED AN MRE!!!” “You're fucking retarded, here, here *Zip* and just for the record … I have more emergency stuff in my car, just hidden” She handed us both protein granola bars with extra fiber. Thanks. “Yeah this will do I guess … I still want burgers though!” We can get burgers, M … will you please drive? I'll pay. “Auuuuggghhh … fine … where to?” How about … Fat Boy Burgers? “HELL YEAH!!! *Rubs stomach* I can put down a burger like a fat man for sure … then drop a fat man in the toilet later!!” *Tsch* Haha you're a damn child … what'd yah say M? “Yeah sure … I want a salad though, do they have any salads?” Uh yeah looks like it! “Then yeah sure, let's go you two” She said while walking off slowly towards her car, swinging her keys around her finger. “TO SEE THE FAT MAN!!!” Haha Yeah! “BEAR WITNESS VEGAS!!! FOR I THE JESTER!!! WILL TAKE DOWN THE LARGEST FAT MAN BURGER THAT THE FAT MAN CAN OFFER!!!! … And feel … Perfectly Fine!!!” ... [To Be Continued]

[easy-recipes-yay]

Blended Mixed Vegetable Soup

The main ingredients are vegan/vegetarian but you can put non-vegan/vegetarian things (i.e. milk/cream) to customize if you like

Ingredients:

Mixed frozen vegetables, would also work with peas and a bit of corn or probably fresh carrots/peas/green beans/what have you (eyeball this, I do maybe one [150-200ml] or a little bit less for one portion?)

Onion (I do maybe half of a medium-sized one but I've also used an entire one so it just depends on how much you like onions)

Salt, to taste (I use maybe 1/2 tsp)

Black pepper, to taste (I use maybe 1/4 tsp)

1 tbsp of butter/margarine/oil (use more if you want I ain't here to judge your life choices)

150-200 ml of water (that's like... 1 cup or a little bit less maybe?)

Optional ingredients if you're feeling fancy or if you have them lying around and you need to use them up:

A pinch of either vegetable bouillon powder (but mushroom or chicken would probably work too), MSG, or sugar (you want just a bit of an extra sweetness and savoury-ness but not too much)

Mint leaves (just a couple or maybe more depending on what you like honestly)

Coriander/cilantro leaves (they're the same thing, one is BrE and the other is AmE. Anyway this also depends on how much you like coriander/cilantro, you could use a couple stems or a whole handful)

A pinch of Indian curry powder (or more depending on what you like)

A pinch of paprika powder (or more depending on what you like)

Milk/cream, to taste (vegan options would probably work too, or coconut milk/cream would at the very least)

How to Cook:

Put small pot/saucepan/one of those bowls that you can use on the stove on the burner. Heat it up a little.

Put in butter/margarine/oil. If using butter/margarine, wait until it's all melted.

Onions in. Leave it there or sauté a little bit until it's all nice and soft and fragrant.

Vegetables in. Mix with a spoon/spatula/what-have-you until mixed, then put in with water until just barely covering the surface.

Wait until the water boils and/or vegetables are soft. If you accidentally put too much water, just continue boiling until some of the water evaporates.

Season with salt and pepper (and optionally paprika/curry powder/bouillon/MSG/sugar) to taste.

Take pot/saucepan/bowl off the heat.

Optionally throw in mint and/or coriander/cilantro leaves (make sure to rip/cut [you can use scissors] them into smaller pieces). If you like a strong onion-y taste, add in some raw onion.

Use an immersion blender or transfer soup into a blender and blend until smooth.

Depending on how smooth you want the soup, this might be edible right away. If you like it thinner/creamier, you can add in a bit of water or milk/cream and heat it up again on the stove until it bubbles.

Eat the soup while it's warm/hot or if you for some reason like cold soup then leave it to cool then stick it in the fridge???

[ameliora-j]

Hi, I'm glad those other asks made you smile 😄 for your 4k celebration, can I get Tiana with Sugar Daddy!Hotch meeting black!reader for the first time 🥺

hi honey!! i’m so sorry that this took so long but i wanted it to be good cus i love this concept sm :( (and also cus i had go keep reminding myself it was a mini blurb not a full fic 💀) i hope i did it justice though :(

you were sitting in a restaurant, waiting for the man to show up. you’d met him through a website for this stuff, and he seemed like the least creepy one to make an arrangement with. more than the business side of it, he was actually interested in you… and getting to know you. and you wanted to know more about him too. it was two weeks of nonstop texting and late night phone calls where both of you fell asleep still connected—he woke up much earlier than you, and you’d oftentimes wake up to seeing him getting ready on the facetime screen. it melted your heart every single time you woke up and he hadn’t hung up yet.

his work schedule finally calmed down, and you two were able to schedule a date. so, now here you sat in a long black gown with a high slit, a cute pair of heels, and your usual every day jewelry. your nails were freshly manicured and your hair freshly done. you’d shaven yourself to be smoother than a baby’s bottom and made sure to apply your cocoa butter and coconut oil so your skin was soft.

“yn?” you heard a deep voice drawl. you followed the black slacks all the way up to a nice gucci belt, then a pressed white dress shirt and a red tie, all the way up to your handsome aaron.

“hi aaron…” you whispered, standing to hug him as you gaped.

“you look gorgeous… how much did all this cost you?” he asked, pushing your seat into the table as you sat down.

“oh no, don’t worry! i wanted to!” you assured him with a smile.

“yes… and i want to pay for you to look as good as you do. so tell me how much, and i’ll reimburse you” he smiled. “and if you think about making even one more purchase with your own money we’re gonna have some problems, yeah?” he raised a brow.

you gulped softly and nodded. “yes sir” you whispered softly.

the two of you spent the whole night, talking and laughing over the high end restaurant’s top shelf wine. your time spent with aaron was fantastic, it felt like the two of you had known each other for years. he was a gentleman the entire night, asked about you, listened while you spoke… opening up to him felt easy. he felt like a man you could be yourself around.

“yn… i have to be completely honest” he began as he paid the bill. “i don’t… want this to just be uh… a ‘business’ thing” he murmured out, lacing your fingers together. “if it’s okay with you… i’d like to continue taking you out on dates and getting to know you… i-i’d… i’d like for you to be my girlfriend” he smiled shyly at you as the two of you stepped out of the restaurant.

“oh aaron…” you whisper. “i want that too” you smile. “all of it… i had a great time with you tonight and i’d love to keep it going? back at my place maybe?” you smile hopefully.

he asks you if you brought a car. when you tell him that your best friend had dropped you off, he decided then and there that he would drive you back to your place. the two of you chatted, sipped on wine and watched movies. all the way up until you fell asleep, and woke up on aaron hotchner’s chest.

and as you were crawling down to suck him off to make his morning wood go down before he made you breakfast, both you and him decided… this is how you want to wake up every morning.

[akindplace]

Haircare stuff

Hi! I get questions about hair, so here are some things I thought I might share!

There are some great products out there that can save your hair, but there is a point of no return. Please don't buy miracle fixes. If it promises to restore your hair to perfect integrity, the way it was before bleaching, it is probably lying.

That said, it is important to know that bleaching your hair will alter its estruture permanently and it won't get better by itself.

Some products are indeed better than others when they are more expensive, brands like olaplex, kerastase, redken... they are indeed really good and very helpful. But if your hair is completely broken and falling off due to bleaching, those brands can't perform miracles. You will need to cut your hair.

It's very important to cut broken bits of hair instead of using products to "mend split ends". Those ends are permanently broken. Cut them off before they rip up all of your hair. That's why people say cutting your ends helps your hair grow.

Black, blue, red and pink dyes are the hardest to remove.

You can go from black to platinum blonde in one day, but it doesn't mean you should. What I mean is that your hair will be so damaged that it will fall off in clumps, and there will be no fixing it.

Using oils for your hair works. Please don't use kitchen oil. Coconut oil, argan oil, jojoba, grape seed, squalene... those work. Be mindful of you have long hair that falls on your face a lot when using those, because some of them, like coconut oil, can cause acne when in contact with the skin.

Overnight treatments are great. You can rinse it in the morning, you don't have to wait around, you can sleep on it! But please only use treatments that are specifically for that. If a product tells you to remove it after a while, do it! Excessive product will make your hair too stiff, and it will break. You can also put hair oils on before bed and they moisture your hair during the night (be careful so it doesn't get in contact with your skin - you can wear a cap or a towel around it). Olaplex says it can be used during the night, but you should be careful so it doesn't go in your eyes during sleep.

Try to avoid permanently straightening your hair and bleaching it. It's too damaging.

Straightening products should be carefully selected. They have a lot on f chemical products in them, some of them are really toxic.

Try to look for hair dye that doesn't have ammonia. There has been some studies about the correlation of heavy metal dyes and cancer.

If you want to go platinum blonde I would recommend doing it on a salon. Take the whole day off to do it, and choose a place that has good experience on bleaching all types of hair. It takes time and money to do so.

Dark hair takes longer to bleach. If your hair is already thin, avoid bleaching it too much. Thick hair can also be harder to bleach. It is not impossible to get very light colors, but it takes more time, more bleach and more aftercare.

The hair next to your roots bleaches faster because it's closer to your scalp (which is warmer). Wrapping your hair during bleaching helps it process faster, but keep watching it! Don't blow hot air on it while it bleaches. Don't brush it while it has bleach on it (brush it a lot before applying so your hair is still smooth and make sure you spread it evenly).

Dirty hair has oils on it that help the bleaching process be less harsh on it, but clean hair processes faster.

Box dyes are not good for your hair. They usually have ammonia, they don't do the job well, try to avoid them.

Fantasy colors (like pink, blue, orange) don't last as long as permanent dyes. They require more touch ups.

[postwarlevi]

Farmers Market

Content: It's literally you and Levi at an outdoor market. Enjoy!

"Levi, look here!" You call to him from another stall.

It was your favorite time of year, fall, when the weather cooled down. The outdoor markets were starting back up and it was opening day at your favorite one.

"Look at the size of the peppers, only a dollar!" Somehow produce sales just got you excited.

"They look alright." He says, wondering why they're so cheap.

"We got a good crop right on time this year." The vendor says.

"Let's get some." You say, ready to pull some cash out.

"Gonna go any cheaper?" Levi asks the man behind the table.

"Levi! How much cheaper can they be?" You're a bit embarrassed that he's starting in already. But Levi knows that if it were near the end of the day and there's too much left they always give a better deal.

The vendor laughs though. "Maybe. You know what? You were such good customers last season, if you want to buy in bulk, how about half off? Anything you want today." There really was a lot and he remembered how much you always picked up.

"See?" Levi tells you, kissing your temple, looking at what else there is.

You were convinced Levi could talk anyone into anything, and were happy to use it to your advantage.

Soon your rolling fold up cart is already half full with bell peppers, cucumber, cauliflower, bags of kale and a huge butternut squash that Levi was sure you'd make him cut into, even though he showed you how last time.

He handed the vendor the cash as you thanked him and were already off to another stall. It really was a good deal, not that you needed ten peppers.

You were already haggling over dried fruit and nuts, coming away with eight bags for a decent percentage off, stuffing them in the tote you had.

"I got you hazelnuts and beets." You say, seeing a small smile from Levi. When you weren't looking he rolled his eyes a bit, knowing the vendors must love seeing you coming. But you always made sure to throw in his favorites, and since you didn't come as often as you would like, Levi never minded.

"I'm gonna go to the tea stall. You want the cart?" He asks and you nod.

"What kind of fruit do you want?" You indicate where you're headed next.

"Citrus." As if you didn't know. You kiss his cheek before parting for a little bit.

Levi heads to his favorite tea vendor and sees she has some new stuff this year.

"Hi there Mr Ackerman!" She always tries to remember her returning customers.

He gives a polite hello and soon has overspent on not only his favorites but some new assortments he doesn't remember her having last season. He makes sure to get cinnamon as well, one of your favorites.

Levi passes by someone selling hats, the wide brim straw sun hat with with a purple ribbon catching his eye.

He's pretty sure you've mentioned wanting one, especially on warm days. Picking one up along with some long stemmed sunflowers at the next vendor, he goes to find you.

You're no longer at the fruits, thank goodness, so he goes towards the back.

He stops dead in his tracks after he spots you. In the short time you've been away your hair has been done into one long braid and you're currently modeling a blue and yellow sun dress in another vendors mirror.

You're beautiful in anything, and Levi can hear his heart pounding. Truth be told you could probably wear rags and would still outshine everyone else.

"Levi! You like?" You say, bounding towards him and breaking this thoughts.

He can only nod, reaching to pick up your braid.

"Oh! Some young girls are learning about business and charging five dollars and I wanted to support them. Only took a few minutes. They did so good!"

Levi leans forward to give a quick kiss to your lips, place then hat on your head and holds out the sunflowers.

"This is so great! Thank you." You gush about the things he's gotten you.

You go back to the dress stall to pay and pick up the cart, leaving your other outfit in the tote. Levi takes both the cart and your tote bag, leaving you with the flowers and an extra paper bag you didn't put in the cart.

Levi sees you got the oranges he requested, along with apples, pomegranates, pears and a whole pineapple that, again, you'll probably make him deal with.

You both take a seat for a little while, enjoying warm pastries and agua frescas.

"What's in the bag?" He asks as you've not let go of it yet.

"Your favorite tea vendor? Well, her partner is running a second stall full of products." You pull out the things in the bag.

"It's a tea warming plate." You say as Levi examines it. "Charge it and it'll last for days. Now when you get busy with work it'll always be warm."

"Why don't I already have one of these?" He wonders.

You shrug and dive back into the bag. "Well, now you do. And also, Bath Brew Pockets, and socks."

Levi stares at what surely are gag gifts. "You mean, I can bathe in tea?"

"Or we, unless you want it all to yourself." You then hold up the socks. His black pair with pink writing reads 'If You Can Read This' on one and 'Bring Me Tea' on the other. Your pink pair with black writing reads 'If You Can Read This' and 'Get Your Own.'

Levi chuckles. "These are ridiculous."

You grin. "Well yeah. You gonna use everything?"

"Of course." He would always love everything you picked.

After finishing your snack it's on to grab multiple varieties of honey, apricot and also cherry jam, two loaves of fresh bread and some muffins from your favorite bakery stall, a focaccia and a dozen rolls from another one, and a two pound block of feta, which Levi says you don't need, but in the tote it goes.

You can't help but want the hummingbird mosaic wind chime, and Levi agrees if you promise to put it up, and not store it away. He then goes for yet another plush throw blanket for you to cozy up together under while you pretend there's room for coconut bowls with matching utensils in your cabinets.

It's soon clear that your tote, cart, and both yours and Levis hands are full.

"I think that's all we can manage, love." He tells you.

You know he's right but think there's something you're missing. You could pass on the chocolates this time, but there's something else.

"Oh, what about the orange juice? It's always so good!" You couldn't leave without that.

"Right." He sighs lightly. No use reminding you of all the actual oranges you just bought.

Balancing another bag on the carts handle he tells you to wait for him and is soon back with a gallon of fresh squeezed orange juice.

"Yay!" You are happy to see the new bag.

You start back with all your items and suddenly gasp, remembering one more thing.

"No, I'm sorry, there's no more hands." Levi says, trying to guide you forward with just his knee.

"But the soaps!"

"Yes and the candles and the olive oils and the pies and the goat milk." Levi lists off some random things you'll probably want next time you come. "I mean, we have to get through all this first."

"The pies." You frown at what you missed, but there really is a lot of food.

You get to the car and load everything in, settling into the passenger seat for the ride home.

"How about we bake our own pie with the stuff we have? We can always come next week." He says, taking your hand in his. You usually only came once a month during the season since you always bought so much, but there were exceptions. Besides, there were things he'd forgotten about, too.

You look at the sunflowers you're holding in front of you. It's been a lovely outdoor morning with the man who holds your heart. "What kind of pie?" Everyday with him was a good day.

He looks over and smiles, bringing your hand to his lips. "Anything you want, angel. But first, we nap."

You look back and return his smile, wondering if Levi knows how happy he makes you, and hoping you do the same for him.

Silently, he's thinking the same about you.

an- In honor of my favorite outdoor market that just opened for the season! I'll mention again that domestic fluff with Levi in everyday life is my favorite thing. And pairing him and reader with food haha.

[cocobeanncteez]

ATEEZ San- Explore (oneshot)

Genre: Fluff, smut, high school au.

Pairing: badboy!San x reader (fem)

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: profanities, masturbating for the first time, handjob, clit play, fingering.

You took a bite of your sandwich, listening to your bestfriend talk to you and your friends about her first time with her boyfriend.

"I swear, nothing feels better than that," your bestfriend stated, taking a sip of her mango juice. "I can do it over and over again."

Miri laughed. "I told you you'd enjoy it! Now it's Y/N's turn!"

You nearly choked on your sandwich. "W-What?!"

"Y/N, I'm pretty sure you imagine Choi San fucking you until you see—"

"Shh!" you put your palm over her mouth. "We're in public! His crazy fans might hear you!"

A few months ago, you developed a crush on one of your school's badboys, Choi San, after he suddenly became interested in you after being partnered for an assignment. Initially, you thought he just wanted to get into your pants, but after five months of knowing him, you knew he genuinely cared about you. You couldn't deny that you liked the boy and of course you've thought about dating him, but you didn't know how he truly felt about you.

"I've seen the way you look at San," your bestfriend said with a smirk. "Not the lovey-dovey look, although I've seen that too, but I'm talking about the I-want-you-to-dick-me-down look." Your cheeks instantly turned a bright pink; were you really that obvious? Well, it's not your fault San looks irresistible. The man's a whole Greek God in your eyes.

"You should make a move on him, Y/N," Yeonhee said.

"Yeah, get some dick," Miri agreed.

"Guys, you're supposed to encourage me to study, not to have sex!" you said, finishing the remaining of your sandwich. "Besides, how will I let someone else do things to me when I've never done anything to myself?" Sure, you've made out before with your ex, but there was very minimal touching over the clothes and some tongue. You never went further than that.

"Then start with yourself, genius. Explore your body and get familiar with it," your bestfriend stated nonchalantly. "I have the perfect advice for you. Trust me, you'll love the experience once you start exploring yourself and it'll be even better when someone else does it for you."

-

"Hey, mom? Do we have coconut oil?" you asked, entering her bedroom. "My lips are really chapped," you lied, knowing your mother would definitely fall for it.

"Yeah, it's in the kitchen in the third cabinet," she answered. "It's good that you're finally using something natural and not those chemical filled products." Oh, if only she knew. "Coconut oil is very safe and has a lot of benefits."

"Mhmm, yeah."

You wished your mother goodnight before you made your way to the kitchen, filling a tiny container with the oil. You couldn't buy sexual lube at the moment and you didn't want to wait, so this was your only option.

You went to your room, placing the tiny container on your bedside table while waiting for your parents to fall asleep. Once you were sure they were asleep, you locked your bedroom door.

You took off your clothes and lied down on your back, remembering all the advice your friends gave you.

You coated your fingers with the coconut oil before pressing it to your clit. You gently rubbed your nub in an up-and-down motion, closing your eyes while you thought of San hovering over you, imagining that your fingers were his. Your free hand moved to cup one of your breasts, giving it a gently squeeze. You could feel the heat at your hole, dripping with your essence while you increased the pace, rubbing your clit faster, imagining San slamming his cock in and out of you.

"San!" you moaned loudly, fingers moving faster on your clit; you were glad your parents' room was downstairs and on the other side of the house. Your back arched and your jaw dropped when you felt your clit become sensitive; it felt so so good. You kept rubbing at your nub until your legs shook and your clit was overstimulated. Was that it? Did you cum? You didn't even know. You assumed you didn't based on what your friends described an orgasm as.

You tried to rub yourself again, but your clit was too sensitive to handle it. You slowly sat up, putting your panties back on, feeling a little disappointed that you didn't orgasm. Oh well, you can always try again next time.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made you jump and you cover yourself with your blanket.

"San?!"

San was inside your room, leaning against your open balcony door, staring at you with a smirk on his face. He was dressed in ripped jeans and a white t-shirt, and yet, he looked absolutely divine.

San has come into your room a bunch of times, but you certainly weren't expecting him today. He always calls you before coming over, so you wondered why he didn't do that this time.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your... session," he said, although he didn't seem sorry at all. "I would've stayed outside, but it's really cold, and as you can see, I'm not wearing warm clothes."

You didn't really know what to say. "Uh, when did you get here?" 

"A minute or two before you moaned my name," he muttered with a smirk, making you pull the blanket up to cover your flushed face. So he saw pretty much everything?

San chuckled, moving to sit beside you on your bed. "Don't feel shy or embarrassed, Y/N," he pulled the blanket down to your neck to reveal your face. "I always think of you whenever I need to get off." You involuntarily let out a small whimper, feeling your sensitive clit throb at his words.

You sat up straight, letting the blanket fall to your waist, revealing your bare upper body. You noticed San gulp while his eyes took in the sight of your breasts. You wrapped your arms around his neck while you leaned in, gently kissing his jawline. San smiled, his hands moving to your bare waist, making you gasp at the feeling of his cold hands on your heated body.

Unable to control yourself, you crashed your lips onto his, and he responded immediately. You had imagined how it would feel to kiss San several times before, but this was a whole lot better.

Without breaking the kiss, you pushed him onto his back, straddling his lap. San smirked at your actions and you leaned down, reconnecting your lips. You involuntarily grinded onto his growing bulge, causing him to groan in pleasure. You could feel your panties sticking to your wet folds while you moved on him. Without breaking the heated kiss, San sat up, pulling you along with him, so that his back was resting against the headboard of your bed and you were still straddling him. He broke the kiss to trail open mouth kisses along your neck, making you tilt your head to give him more access.

"Can I touch you?" he mumbled against your skin, giving it a little nibble.

"Yes, please..."

San's hands moved up your body to your breasts. He gently massaged your breasts before taking one of your nipples in his mouth. He flicked it with his tongue, giving it a little swirl before repeating the same action for the other one.

"You don't know how many times I've wanted to do this to you," he said, lips meeting yours in a quick kiss before he changed positions, hovering above you. "Every time I came to your room, I had to control myself so much from wanting to kiss you... to touch you..." his hand moved down to your thighs, giving it a squeeze before he teased your inner thighs. He slowly moved his hand to cup your clothed heat, making you whimper.

"Fuck, please touch me," you begged.

San slowly took your panties off, mouth watering at the sight of your glistening core. His fingers moved to your clit, gently stroking your sensitive nub. You grabbed his hand once your clit became too oversensitive again, stopping him from touching you.

"I... it's very sensitive from what I was... doing before. It was my first time, so I don't think I can handle more," you mumbled, cheeks heating up. That's when San noticed the tiny container of coconut oil on your bedside table.

"Oh, you masturbated for the first time today?" he asked. You nodded, a little embarrassed.

"And you were thinking of me while you did it? Fuck, that's so hot," he murmured, leaning down to kiss you. "Since you're overstimulated, I won't touch you there. But I can finger you, if and only if that's okay with you."

You nodded. "It won't hurt, right?"

"From what I've heard, it most likely won't. I'll be as gentle as possible."

"Okay... then finger me, please."

San kissed your neck while his fingers explored the area around your entrance, avoiding your sensitive clit; he didn't want to just shove his fingers up immediately. "Just relax, baby," he murmured against your skin, and your tense body relaxed a bit. He ran his finger along your wet folds, collecting your juices. He took his time, teasing you around that area, trying to get you wetter.

When you felt wetter, he moved his body to rest in between your legs. He slowly slipped a finger into your hole. "Does it hurt?" he asked. You shook your head and he continued pushing his finger all the way in. You winced at the slight sting you felt when he pulled his finger back a little. "Are you okay? Does it hurt, baby?"

"It stings a little, but it's tolerable," you said, your hands moving to his messy black hair.

San slowly started pumping his finger in you, trying to be as gentle as possible; the stingy feeling was starting to fade away and you let him know that. He tapped around your walls, searching for your g-spot. You sucked in a breath when he found your spot, clutching a fistful of his hair. "Found it," he smirked, continuing to finger you, making sure to hit that very spot.

"S-San..." you moaned, your walls clenching around his finger. He kissed and gently sucked on the skin of your inner thighs while he fingered you. You could feel something building up in your lower stomach, and you assumed you were close to orgasming. "San, I think I'm—"

"Let it go," he pumped his fingers faster, making your back arch. "Cum for me, baby." His words and a few more pumps was all it took for your orgasm to wash over you, making you loudly moan his name. He pulled his fingers out, sucking them clean, eyes closing at your taste. "So fucking sweet."

You pulled San into a kiss, tasting yourself, feeling really happy and relaxed. You felt his hard-on press against your inner thigh, and you instantly pulled away. "Let me help you now."

San pecked your lips. "It's fine, Y/N. This is all new to you so I don't want to make you uncomfortable or something."

"I'll be happy knowing that you're satisfied too," you said, running a hand through his hair. "But you'll have to show me how cause I've never done this before."

He chuckled cutely, kissing you softly before he sat against the headboard. "Grab the oil, baby. Pour some onto your palm," he said, pulling his t-shirt over his head, revealing his toned abs. You did as he said while watching him unzip his jeans, taking it off along with his briefs, causing his hard cock to slap against his lower stomach, the tip leaking with precum. Your eyes roamed all over his naked body; you always thought San looked extremely handsome, but now he looked even better.

"Touch me, Y/N," he said with a smile, grabbing your attention. "You just have to touch me like this," he showed you how to do it and gave you a few tips.

"Okay..."

You gently wrapped your oily hand around his length, earning a slight hiss from him. You moved your hand up and down his length just like he showed you, lubricating it with the oil. You twisted your hand slightly, moving closer to his tip. "Fuck," he muttered when you swiped your finger along his slit; you mentally noted that he liked it. Your hand moved back down and you added a little pressure, slowly jerking him off. "You're doing so well, baby," he moaned, staring at you with hooded eyes, lower lip caught in between his teeth. You increased the pace, making him buck his hips up. "Keep going, doll... I'm so close." You moved your hands faster, earning a loud groan from San while he orgasmed, his cum shooting onto his stomach and some spilling onto your hand. You stroke him for a few more seconds before removing your hand.

San pulled you into a quick kiss. "That was amazing, Y/N. You did so well."

"T-Thanks..." you blushed. "I'm glad you liked it."

"I loved it," he pecked your lips. "Let's clean up, hmm?" You nodded, and the two of you made your way to your bathroom.

San told you about his day while you both washed up. After you both got dressed, you cuddled on your bed, resting your head on his chest.

"Oh, by the way... I actually came here to tell you something," San said, intertwining your hand with his.

"Tell me what?" you questioned sleepily; you could hear his heartbeat speed up.

San took a deep breath, feeling quite nervous. "I... I like you, Y/N," he confessed. "I've liked you ever since we worked on that assignment together. My feelings just keep getting stronger, so I just had to let you know today."

You moved so that you could see his face that was filled with hope and anxiety because he wasn't sure if you felt the same way even after what you both did minutes ago.

You reached up to cup his cheek, hand moving down to run along his sharp jawline. You brought his face closer to yours, capturing his lips in a soft, slow kiss, instantly making his tense body relax. You pulled away slightly to say, "I like you too, Sannie."

San smiled wide, his dimples showing. He pulled you into a kiss even though he wasn't able to stop smiling.

He pulled away to look at you, his hand gently running through your hair. "Would you do me the honor of going on a date with me tomorrow?"

You nodded with a smile, pecking his cheek. "Gladly."

[endobiologist]

Trans Guy Tips #5; Dressing Good

Today, we're going to talk about basic fashion, and some things trans guys specifically need to know when buying a new wardrobe.

Some of these rules can always be broken, it's your body and your choice what to put on it!

However, this is a guide for passing better, so feminine and androgynous looks will not be covered here, only the traditional masculine. I will most likely make a guide out on dressing that way later.

1. Match colors, but don't be afraid to throw in some accent detail colors! Usually when you think of fashion, you think of making everything match, however some things will go better with some contrast rather than plainly matching!

As long as it still has some similarity, it doesn't have to be the same.

The most basic rule you need to learn dressing as a man, is that you wear your belt to your shoes.

If your belt is brown, so should your shoes be.

If your belt is black, they should be black.

Usually most fashion rules can be broken, but this one seems to be very important, as it can throw off the whole appearance of an outfit to have mismatching shoes and belt.

2. Use what I call the finger trick.

When selecting a shirt, specifically a dress shirt, put your fingers in the collar between your neck and the collar.

If you can comfortably fit two or even maybe barely three fingers in there, then that's a perfect fit shirt around your neck.

If you can fit four or more fingers, it's loose and will make you look baggy and overweight.

If you can fit only one, or feel any pressure on your throat, you need a looser shirt because it's too tight.

3. Somewhat similar, but when buying pants, this may be the most important thing of all.

If you get the right set of pants, it can disguise even the biggest of curves.

You want to get what's known as a straight-leg jean pant, you can make it a cargo pant if you wish, either one looks very masculine and good.

I would usually recommend bootcut pants if you wear longer shoes, like boots, or combat boots, or anything you need to tuck the jeans into.

Always get pants that don't feel constricting, and always get them where they fit comfortably with a belt, but don't need a belt due to fitting good already.

But straight-leg type is so important to go for, it's one of the things that makes a boxy figure like a cis man's.

4. I'm not sure if this is obvious or may come as a surprise to some people, but even if you like dressing femininely, if you wish to pass, I would suggest always shopping in the men's section.

They have shirts and pants and everything else under the sun that shaped specifically for men's bodies, making yours look even more like a cis man's, which is very gender affirming. Also women's jeans are made to support the butt and make you look feminine and curvy, while men's are designed to be straight, boxy, and comfortable, usually with deep pockets too!

5. Similar to the matching rule before, you can match a busy pattern shirt with a plain pair of pants, or busy pattern and pants with a plain shirt. However if you put too many busy patterns, or too much plainness, either way makes you look not as good.

Try to balance the detail with the simplicity.

6. Overall the most masculine thing you can wear especially pre-t, is either a formal or casual suit.

You can even wear just a dress shirt with a tie or bow tie, with some dress shoes and pants, and you're good!

This just generally makes you look super masculine and it's hard to mistake.

7. if you're like me, where you like to dress flamboyantly, but you're also super dysphoric about it, wait until you get testosterone therapy.

If you end up having it and you start seeing positive effects before dressing femininely, it's great!

I did this and now I feel totally comfortable with it, as no one ever misunderstands me even if I wear the most feminine things ever.

So if you're going on t, feel free to dress more extravagantly during because you will pass even so!

8. Another way to check shirts that are long sleeved, particularly dress shirts, is to tuck it in like usual, and then lift up your arms really high like you're reaching for something.

If it untucks or lifts the fabric in an unflattering way where your armpits look huge, it's cut wrong and is not something you should buy.

9. This may be surprising to some, but yes, cis men will wear feminine designs on masculine outfits.

I can't count the number of times I've seen men wearing bright pink suits. Other times there's been crop tops, painted nails, hair done, everything.

So if you really like that button up with the flowers on it, but are feeling hesitant due to the feeling that people might judge you, don't worry!

Maybe some will, but a lot of people wear unique clothing, and no one will be as bad as what your thoughts say to you.

10. I have somewhat of a warning, as good and fun they are, t-shirts can be very revealing when it comes to showing your chest, even through your binder! Something about them isn't cut quite right, even if they come from the manliest man's site or store.

If you still wish to wear t-shirts like I do, I would recommend getting a short-sleeved or long-sleeved Dickies button up jacket/shirt that you wear open over it. Or any jacket thing, really. This covers your chest completely and negates that effect.

11. This is sort of more hygiene base but still has to do with getting dressed. Always use men's soap, and men's cologne, and men's essential oils, and men's lotion, if you have them.

Also use some aftershave, it's helpful if it has lotion mixed in and moisturizes as well.

You can even shave even if you're pre-t, due to it making a clean feeling due to there being no feminine peach fuzz on it. This can help support dysphoria relief, as well because it feels like you're shaving a beard, at least until it comes in.

When your moustache and beard do come in from testosterone, if you take it, make sure to oil it lightly with natural oils like argan oil or coconut oil, the stimulates hair growth and follicle health.

And I would recommend shaving just once as it starts developing, so it develops thicker, stronger, and more handsome.

12. If you're planning on going on t, buy at least some of your clothing a size or a few sizes up, or getting a duplicate that's larger.

You will grow, so if you buy all your clothing in a smaller size, you'll probably end up unable to use any of it.

13. Always position your belt buckle in the center of your stomach, the way you can tell if it's positioned right is if it lines up with the buttons of your button up perfectly.

14. When wearing a suit try to always keep the bottomless button unbuttoned. That button isn't actually there to be used, it's meant to be unbuttoned and it makes it look so much better.

The reason it looks so much better is because it makes it flattering and thinning. If you button all the buttons, it will make you look heavy due to it tightening around your waist and stomach.

15. You should always have at least two pairs of dress shoes. one pair that's black, and one pair that's brown. Same with belts. It's also recommended for summer that you keep one pair of masculine flip flops or sandals or sneakers around.

16. This is more of a suggestion than anything, however it's manly as fuck, and people love it.

If you carry a work knife, a pocket watch, a small portable multitool, and a handkerchief.

Possibly even a pen and small notepad with you at all times.

This may seem odd at first, but it's what men used to do constantly in the older days.

These items can come in very useful. A work knife can open packages, open letters, be used in place of scissors occasionally, and even used to defend yourself and others.

A pocket watch is just fancy and shows you're always trying to be on time.

A multi-tool shows you're ready for any task, and it can be a lifesaver in many situations!

Meanwhile a handkerchief is important, because if you ever come across someone crying, or someone wounded, you can lend them or give them your handkerchief, which is a very gentlemanly thing to do, and it can help you pass better, as well as it just being a kind thing to do for someone.

The pen and small notepad is always good to carry on you regardless of any gender, due to you needing to write things down often.

17. Ironically, although socks with sandals seems to be a fashion 'no-no' to most people, I quite like them, and it seems like I pass better with them.

Men tend to wear those slip-on flip flop things, and when you wear socks with it it makes you look very masculine, even if it may look silly to some.

Personally I like it a lot.

18. If you do wish to do makeup & nails, I would suggest doing it as black and gothic as possible, as that's the most common style guys do it as, and if you do it in a certain way, it can come out looking way masculine.

And that concludes my fifth part of this Trans Guy Tips series!

Thank you for reading, and I hope anything I said helped!