#and the way his parents parentified him

[chuuzmii]

People saying gay/queer Eddie wont happen is blowing me because... what else could Eddies storyline be building to like?? It is most definitely happening brother😭 like mama lets research:

-They said we could have gotten bi buck in season 4 and queer Eddie in season 5 but it was scrapped.. we got bi buck season 7... gee i wonder what they're re cooking up for season 8 🤔🧐

-They made marisol a nun just to give eddie even more catholic guilt and catholic guilt? It's historically gay sorry i dont make the rules eddie boykisser. (Im joking but this arch seriously had eddie analyzing the toxic masculinity he was raised with/grew up around which is something that a lot of queer poc men or queer military men do before coming out. Im also like 90% sure this guilt is the reason he had a breakdown and started dating his ex-wife's evil twin but who knows 🤷🏾‍♀️)

-Eddie and Tommy were supposed to be together S7 but they scrapped it because they didn't think it fit. I see people using this as a reason to think RG or production don't want queer Eddie but I am genuinely confused by that because in MY mind it's another reason why S8 gay Eddie is going to happen. I dont think they scrapped it because they didn't want it but because it didn't fit Eddie as a character like there is no way Eddie 'i cant be honest with myself unless i have a mental breakdown first' Diaz is going to be out and proud in an 8 episode season. And also I think they knew the writing and episodes were going to be a bit wonky this season and that there was NOOO way they could write a coming out that fit Eddie with the strikes going on.

Ntm all the shit the production/crew does to make me think its going to happen. Oliver only posting Buddie content, members of the crew liking and replying to Buddie tweets, and that one insider going on the Eddie rant on twitter (this one barely counts for me because i have no clue who this person is but ik some care about what they have to say.)

gay eddie is going to happen i can feel it in my left ball u guys just STAY STRONG.

[star--nymph]

Eurydice has to leave her children in Skyhold for their own safety after their home is blighted. She is on her knees trying to reason with her oldest children, Psyche and Farron, because they are 11 and 10, respectively, and they're so old now.

Psyche has been training with her wooden sword; Papae said before this that someday soon, she might get to wield a real one.

Farron has been studying magic with the Keeper and his mentor, Kieran! He knows how to cast a fire with his hands now!

They can help! They can go with her!

And Eurydice has to hold them and beg them to listen, to understand. "No, stay children as long as you can. Play with your siblings, listen to your aunts and uncles, eat and sleep. Dream of good things. If you must do anything for me, do that."

Eurydice couldn't save them from seeing the terror of the world this young, but she won't steal their youth from them. She won't have them grow up too soon, not now, not when they can be protected. Farron tries to understand, but he's always been the more sensitive of his children. He weeps against her but stops asking her to take him.

Psyche refuses to understand. Her eldest child who tries to play the hero. Perhaps it was her fault for letting her hear those old war stories. She thinks of herself as braver and bigger than she is. She resents her with tears in her eyes; why should she stay a child? Why can't she fight? Eurydice can only kiss her forehead and tell her one day she will understand. One day she will treasure the childhood she had, even among the wreckage of a blight.

Cullen watched this happen and turned away, covering his face so she couldn't see him overwhelmed by his tears.

The other children are hard but easier. Bridget is only five, she is only aware of so much. That her mother is leaving and one of her fathers will be following after her in a few weeks. But she is safe and in a fairytale castle with pretty dresses and big gardens to play in. It will distract her long enough. Eurydice cradles her in her arms and tells her to be good for Papae and Babae (Bull and the Chargers have been "contracted" as bodyguards for the children, but Bull needed little excuse to stay with his child or the rest that he has all but adopted as an uncle to). Bridget cries because that is what she must do, but it is better she does so now over the temporary separation than a real one. Maybe one day, the heartache won't even be a memory.

Lir clings to Cullen's leg and refuses to look at her. Cullen had told her that a few days prior, he had watched him put on his old armor and burst into tears. The sheer notion of both of them going back to war had shaken the headstrong, wily eight-year-old enough to grab his father's hand (the father he loved to annoy and prank and laugh at) and beg him not to die. Now, he can only look to the ground when Eurydice comes to him and touches his golden curls. Asks him to be kind to his father and the rest of Skyhold, at least until she comes back. She whispers into his hair as she holds him that he's good at making others smile. When she lets go, he runs back to Cullen's leg and hides his face into his side. He doesn't want her to see his tears.

Finally, she finds Zander on his own. Remote and cautious. He had already seen how cruel the world was before Lir and her found him starving and huddled in a charred ruin. It doesn't shake him like others when she announce she'd be leaving; some small part of him still didn't trust her or Cullen not abandon him. Or maybe it's the world he doesn't trust not to take them away and leave him alone once more. Either way, when she comes to him, he doesn't cry or bargain with her. He looks at her with his sea-foam eyes and simple acceptance, and this is what needs to happen. He nods somberly when she asks him if he remembers what she said two years ago when she brought him home. "That we would make the world safe for you."

That's what she must do now. He will be safe in this place with his family, and when she is done, he will be safe when he leaves these castle walls. Trust her to do that.

Zander doesn't say if he will, but he holds her a little tighter than the rest before she gets up and goes. His scent lingers on her the longest--for some reason, he always smells like the sea to her. When she's in Minrathous, and overlooks the water, she will remember his eyes, and her heart will ache.

[jamandjazz]

MASON!!! You described him perfectly this is amazing.

Mason McCormick for the character thingy pls and thank you 🙏🙏🙏

Sweet, Mace! (Idk what my current design for him is but it looks like this rn lol)

How I feel about this character

  I like him! He’s a lot like Darry, but I find him more relatable because of the sarcasm lol. He’s had to grow up too fast, and he needs to get outta Oklahoma poor guy. I wanna give him…not a hug, but a pat on the back maybe. And a parental figure who’s significantly better than his father. I like Mason.   He’s like Darry if Darry got out. If Darry didn’t have Ponyboy, only Soda. If Darry didn’t have to stay so strong, I guess. Not that Mace isn’t strong, he’s hella strong. But idk, he did it. He got free and I’m sorta proud of him for that.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

No one really, but there’s no one his age he can really bounce off of in canon other than his buddy Robert Collins and I guess Lem. But he told Lem that he’d kill him if he ever saw him again, so…yeah, no, don’t think that’s gonna happen. If someone were to make a Mason x OC fic tho I’d probably read it even tho I don’t usually go for that kind of thing- idk I think I just wanna see Mason getting support and being happier lol

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Well, Tex, I guess. It feels like kind of an obvious answer, since their conflict is the story more or less, but idk. They’re brothers. They hate each other. They love each other. Mason needs independence, and Tex needs Mason. There’s no easy way out, and either way it’s gonna end sorta sadly. Not tragically like the Outsiders, but sadly. Bittersweetly. 

  “He’s my brother even if he ain’t your son.” ough. This line kills me in the best way.

My unpopular opinion about this character

  He ain’t super well known so all the opinions I have are unpopular kinda lol. I think he’s shy, though. Not around Tex, obviously (who’s shy around their little siblings?), but at school. He’s popular, even though he’s apparently not as good-looking as some less popular guys, and he’s cold towards people or at least cool. I think he seems stuck up, when really he’s shy. (Like how Bryon saw Ponyboy in TWTTIN)   He also seems kinda non-confrontational, maybe not outta shyness as much as…laziness? That’s not the right word exactly but I can’t think of a better one. But like how he didn’t warn Tex about having to sell Negrito, how he never once mentioned to Pop that he knew Tex wasn’t Pop’s son, how he wouldn’t tell Tex about why he was going to the hospital, and how he just lied about not wanting to go to the fair. (Ok that’s purely headcanon there. I think he wanted to go tho, or maybe he was lying to himself about not wanting to go.) I don’t think he likes delving into his thoughts about things if it takes too much effort, ig. 

  I also think he resents the fact that he’s from Bixby/Garyville (In the movie it’s Bixby, in the book it’s Garyville. Idk why.) and not Tulsa. There’s more opportunities in the city. I mean, Tex resents being seen as a country hick- I feel like Mason resents it just as much if not more. He likes being taken seriously.

Oh and idk if this counts as an unpopular opinion but I’m not that fond of the guy who played him in the movie. He did good, but he was not 18 istg. He was 31 and looked 31, which made it real hard to buy him as a stressed 18 year old. Not my Mason smh

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Idk, it woulda been nice to see him interact with his peers a bit more, like how we got to see Soda and Steve being friends in the bg of Outsiders…Then again, maybe he doesn’t have any friendships like that. I dunno if I do, so someone cold like Mason may not. He’s friends with Robert Collins tho, so that counts for something? 

[demon-country]

These two pictures absolutely kill me. Stolas is only 17, 18, or 19 in these photos. He is so, so fucking young to be having a baby. There are many parents who have kids at that age that deeply regret it, because raising a child is hard and severely limits your ability to go out and experience life the same way that your peers are. There are also many people who are forced into arranged marriages and pressured into having children as soon as possible that just cannot connect well with said children (Stella seems to fall into this category).

But not Stolas. He loves that little baby with his entire heart and soul. Even though he seems exhausted in that first picture (which, duh, she's a newborn, they're exhausting to take care of, especially for first time parents), he is holding her so tenderly and looks like he loves her so much he could cry. And in that second picture she is maybe 1 year old, and he looks like the happiest person alive. She is his everything. She is the tiny, adorable pocket of joy in his dark, painful, lonely world. She is the only thing that's even worth living for.

He loves her so, so fucking much, and it's completely baffling to me that anyone who isn't an emotionally compromised teenager could look at all of the photos he has with her and say that just because he has made a few mistakes lately and has split his attention to make room for someone else, that he's a bad, neglectful father. There is no one, not even Blitz, who could match the sheer depth of love he has for her. Blitz is his light, but Octavia means everything to him (to a previously kind of unhealthy, codependent degree actually, but that's a little beside the point and at least he's never tried to parentify her or make her play therapist for him despite that).

Just look at those pictures! Just look at them, and tell me honestly that he doesn't love her and thinks of her as solely an obligation. Octavia's feelings of abandonment and belief that he doesn't love her make sense, because she lacks a lot of the context that we have and her life got several major upheavals within the last two years, in addition to having preexisting abandonment issues that color her perception of the situation and a mother who was actively sabotaging his attempts to contact her for a month. But we, the audience, should see those pictures for what they are: a very young man who loves his child deeply, despite having never been demonstrably loved before; who is tender and playful with her, despite having never been shown that same tenderness or playfulness with anyone but debatably Blitz as a child. And the fact that she looks so happy as well is a very good indicator that he is the kind of loving, attentive, and secure parent she needed.

[callmeizukunotdeku]

I love the idea of parentified Tim Drake.

Bruce loses Jason and isn't ready for another son. Tim sees this, he acknowledges this, and he's okay with it. He's never really been a son to his own parents so he wouldn't expect the neighbor to start taking care of him.

When Tim's parents come home, they're not mean or anything, they just don't baby him. They treat him as an equal--as someone who knows what he's doing--and that's fine, because he does.

He's been taking care of himself for as long as he could remember, so when people try to treat him like a child, it angers him more than anything. The way that they assume just because he's young he can't take care of himself.

Tim's been to galas before, though. He's talked with Bruce and the man never treated him like he was incompetent. Tim's parents would ask Tim questions about the company so that he could recite them to Bruce. It was a song and dance he was well versed in, but he didn't really mind, not when Bruce looked at him with such a fondness in his eyes, always saying, "That's really interesting. You know a lot about your parents' company. Did it take you a while to memorize it?"

And he'd shake his head and say, "No," because that was the correct response, even if it was wrong.

Even if he had flashcards about Drake industries and kept up to date with perception of the company and the stock value and who the shareholders were and what they wanted and what they were willing to do to get that.

It wasn't one bout of work. It wasn't a single night of studying to make sure he passed the test, but a lifetime memorizing information and then rememorizing it when it changed.

So when Jason died and Bruce started getting bad, Tim knew what to do.

He was used to long term projects where it would be years before he actually got to see any result. He was used to seeing adults as people who he was responsible for, though he had to admit that the responsibility had never been that big before.

When Tim showed up at Bruce's doorstep, he was young, just like both of Bruce's other sons, but his eyes lacked that sort of naïveté and childlike wonder that should have accompanied the baby fat which persisted on his cheeks.

That's what made Alfred pause at the door.

There was a kid. A black haired, blue eyed kid. He was young, like both of Bruce's sons. His lack of naïveté was something he shared with both children, only Dick's had been a fresh sort of loss, one he was still mourning, and Jason's naïveté was something long-forgotten and left to rot. It was a feeling you smelt when you left the windows closed for too long.

Still there, still somewhere, but not quite right and never able to be found, only stumbled upon in rare moments of something that could almost be called joy.

Tim's naïveté is something he left at home. He keeps it on a shelf in his bedroom, something to look at when the going gets rough, but something too fragile to be held.

Maybe that's why Alfred lets him in.

That day, Tim meets Bruce--not Brucie or Batman, just Bruce.

He meets a man who's hair's grown long, but not long enough for it to have been intentional. There's grease in his hair and bags under his eyes and you can tell that he's been biting his nails.

He's clean shaven, because that's what people can see when he wears the cowl.

Tim takes a deep breath before walking into the room.

Bruce doesn't move, but Tim doesn't doubt that the man notices him.

The room smells like alcohol--a smell he recognizes from when his own father is home, though he can't say he's ever remembered it smelling so concentrated.

"Hello," he says, when he's right in front of Bruce, "My name is Tim, and I'm here to help."

Bruce doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to.

Tim talks to him, slowly distracting the man as he brings him to the bathroom, first trying to put a toothbrush in his hand and then, when that doesn't work, brushing the man's teeth himself.

Tim draws a bath for him and grabs him a new pair of clothes, and tells him to take his bath, only leaving the room when Bruce finally stands up and starts undressing.

Tim takes care of the sheets, puts new ones on the bed, and goes to the kitchen, to find Alfred already making food.

The butler asks him if he's staying to eat but Tim just insists that he's not hungry and brings the food up to Bruce.

He knocks on the bathroom door, and when Bruce doesn't respond, he opens it.

Bruce is sitting in the bath, knees to his chest, crying, but not otherwise moving.

So Tim rolls up his sleeves and washes Bruce's hair, then keeps him company as Bruce washes himself.

Bruce finds it easier to get things done when there's someone else in the room--talking to him, giving him something else to think about.

Tim talks as he gets Bruce out of the bath and hand him a towel. He talks as Bruce dries himself off and gets dressed. He talks as Bruce eats the lunch that Alfred made him and he talks until he gets Bruce back to bed.

He leaves, voice hoarse from talking so much after living in an empty home.

He comes back the next day and does it all again.

Alfred doesn't know what he should do. He knows, of course, that Tim is young and shouldn't be taking care of someone at that age.

He also knows that Bruce is in no state to take care of himself and all of Alfred's attempts have been in vain.

Tim's talking was what got Bruce to eat his first actual meal in a week--not just popcorn and protein bars. Tim's presence is what got Bruce to bed.

Tim was what was making things better, so while Alfred knew he should put a stop to it, he couldn't quite make himself do so.

Instead, he started doing little things.

He invited Tim to stay for meals.

Invited Tim to stay the night.

It took a while, but eventually, Tim started living in the manor.

One month, there's only ghosts in the house, the next, three beating hearts.

One month, Bruce can only think of his son, the next, he's calling Tim his dad.

One day, Bruce crosses the line as Batman, and the next day, he has a Robin.

You know how things go from there, some things are lost, others are gained. Some things stay the same, others do nothing but change.

Bruce and Tim get better, but Bruce still thinks of Tim as his dad.

No one really pays it much heed, though. That's just how they are--nothing really to note.

It's Dick, though, who starts noticing something's off, because Tim never sleeps.

When Dick was first adopted, he had nightmares.

He'd remember what it was like to watch someone fall. He did not watch it from the ground, but from the balcony, holding onto a trapeze, moments away from completing his own jump.

It took him months to finally come to Bruce, tell him about his nightmares.

Though he was never told the details, he knew it was the same for Jason. He pushed Bruce away, insisted that he'd be fine on his own, but eventually started letting him in.

He never asked, but assumed it was the same for Tim. When Tim couldn't sleep, when he had nightmares, when he couldn't stand to sleep in an empty bed, he'd go to Bruce like the rest of them did.

It was a reasonable thing to assume, and it was a belief he only questioned when he got up in the middle of the night to get water.

That same night, Bruce had a nightmare. Bruce knocked on Tim's door. Bruce slept in Tim's bed.

Tim ran his hands through Bruce's hair, promising that everything would be okay until Bruce fell asleep.

Now that he knew to look for it, Dick started noticing even more. The way Tim knew Bruce's favorite food and the way Tim took care of the man's company so that Bruce had the freedom to do what he wanted. The way Bruce turned to Tim when he had a problem or wanted to be told he did something well.

It was wrong.

It was wrong and Dick was trapped because he hadn't noticed it earlier. Why didn't he notice it earlier?

Tim came to him first, asked him to become Robin again. Dick knew about Tim from the start. Dick was there for the entirety of his stay as Robin.

He was there.

So why didn't he noticed?

Jason sees him panicking on patrol and Dick just breaks.

He breaks down in his brother's arms--arms he can feel tightening around him as he tells him everything.

They talk about it a lot after that. Jason starts noticing things too.

They bring in Babs and start making a file--compiling evidence because there's always the urge to just ignore it. To acknowledge that Bruce is doing better than ever.

But that requires them to forget about Tim.

To let the boy take care of Bruce and not live his own life.

Because, now that they're looking, they can see how lonely it is.

How he doesn't have any school friends--he had to drop out to take over WE.

How he's grown apart from Young Justice--always leaving when Bruce is in trouble or needs someone to talk to, not able to bear the idea of what Bruce might do if left alone.

Because Tim knows he'll break.

Bruce needs someone to take care of him, and Tim exists to fulfill the needs of others, regardless of how much it takes from him.

So Tim goes and helps his son. He never talks about how tired he is. He has sleeping pills to fix that, and maybe he can't take them because what if Bruce has a nightmare and then he can't wake up Tim--it's unimaginable.

Dick and Jason notice, though, and they try to bring it up with him, but they're not sure how.

Not when Tim's gut reaction is just to start taking care of them, too. Easing their worries, telling them that everything's okay.

They want so bad to insist that it's not okay, that this is going to ruin Tim and he can't spend his whole life like this.

But they want even more to be held. To be granted that unconditional love and care that comes with being Tim's child.

So they try to say something--anything.

But then, Tim smiles. He opens his arms to them and asks about their days.

And they they try to tell him that not everything's okay, but Tim is smiling, and they try, but they can't say a thing.

[lilacpaperbird]

my take on the whole "dean was parentified" narrative and where that slippery slope usually takes people ("sam was spoiled as a kid and dean shielded him from all harm") is that many people can't comprehend that dean was in fact parentified, but that doesn't mean he was sam's father. sam had a father, and it was john.

nor does it mean sam was spoiled or babied by either of them. canon doesn't support this interpretation despite it being so popular in the fandom.

dean was parentified in the sense that he had responsibilies and stressors that weren't appropriate for his age and his role as a son... but that doesn't change the fact that his relationship with sam was that of a brother, not a parent.

at one point dean says "I had to be more than just a brother. I had to be a father, and I had to be a mother." and his feelings of overwhelm and resentment are valid—their childhoods were difficult, stressful, and abnormal.

however, this doesn't mean "john was absolutely useless and neglectful, so he was completely out of the picture. dean was indeed sam's father and mother. and he fulfilled those roles so well that sam had a happy, easy childhood and he was freed from any parent-related trauma, since dean was his parent, and he did a stellar job at it"... you know?

parentified siblings are siblings after all (and sam and dean only have a 4-year age gap). and dean did "fail" in his parentified role—sometimes he fucked up, sometimes he was the one hurting sam. in many ways, he didn't understand sam's needs or how to fulfill them. which is understandable. and he definitely couldn't shield sam from the difficulties they both had to face. that was well beyond his capability after all

on top of that, sam was taught self-reliance from a young age and he was exposed to the hardships of their lifestyle just like dean (hardships in general since he was born, and hunter-related ones since he was eight). and most of the glimpses we get of sam as a child/teen show a lonely, sad, troubled person. where's the pampered and unconcerned child!sam people keep hallucinating?

deep down, the issue is that people seem to put sam and dean on a seesaw and weight their problems and traumas against each other. if we say sam had a shitty childhood, then we're somehow denying dean's traumas and sacrifices. and if we believe dean suffered a lot in his youth, then that must mean sam had everything served on a silver platter. and that makes no sense.

[haematoclan]

i know people often see raph as the most parentified sibling, but- man, Donnie's been responsible for providing for the whole family with his technology (and probably making money) since he was a little kid and he hasn't even gotten any/much positive feedback from his dad for doing that (like no wonder he ties his self worth to his inventions to such extreme, that's been his primary function in his family and everyone takes it for granted)

not to mention, in the scene after Splinter got caught stealing Donnie's car, Donnie straight up yells at Splinter, he reprimands him and even grounds him... and the way this scene is worded it seems like a recurring thing, with Donnie punishing splinter with educational programs and whatnot (and i know its mainly for comedic effect but like- there's a clear angst potential here, he literally acts like a parent to his own dad!) and Donnie's parenting is directly compared to Splinter's later in the show.

though tbh i think all of turtle brothers were parentified to some extend one way or another (yes even leo and mikey), but also- *looks at donnie* yeeeeeah this one had it rough.

[silver-stake-through-the-heart]

There's something really twisted about the way Dean's traumas are handled in Supernatural, and not only because of the lack of resolve. It's about Dean opening up about them (wording his traumas and being vulnerable about them, unlike some brand of fanon like to scream about) just to have something similar happening to him a couple of episodes later.

For example:

– Dean opens up about Hell in 4x10, confesses how horrible he feels for the souls he tortured, and in 4x16 the angels make him torture Alastair

– Dean says he feels free away from his family (5x03) and, in the next episode, he's basically taught everyone will die if he doesn't keep himself tied to his (blood) family

– Dean tells Mary he shouldn't have been parentified, accepts it was unfair to expect that of him (12x22: "I had to be a father and I had to be a mother, to keep him safe. And that wasn't fair. And I couldn't do it."), and what happens two episodes later? he's expected to act like a parent for someone who isn't his responsability and related to him in any way

[lesbiansforeddiediaz]

Very weird how this fandom ignores the impact that Eddie's parents/childhood had on him. No one has any problem recognizing how the way Buck was raised leads to his behavior but for some reason people act like Eddie's trauma started with Christopher? Eddie was never allowed a childhood and was parentified long before he ever actually became a parent. This is not only relevant to how he reacted to Shannon's pregnancy and Christopher but to everything else about him and his approach to things, yet for some reason people only talk about things that happened post Chris, both when talking about Eddie and his parents. Eddie was being told that he was the man of the house and that he was failing as a husband and father before he ever met Shannon, his choices with Shannon's pregnancy and Chris early on were heavily impacted by the ideas and sense of failure he already had instilled in him.

[cute-little-fly]

I was just rewatching Sinsmas and Octavia’s reaction makes so much sense, and is rooted so much in the dysfunctional family dynamic.

Ik a lot of people have pointed out this, and how much this topic has been discussed, but, so many people still don’t realize that the only thing that balanced the dynamic in the household for Via was Stolas. This is why she is so devastated.

Even if she sees her mother abusing her by taking her phone and referring to her as: “his daughter” like if she wasn’t in the room, she knows that if Stolas was there Stella would not be allowed to do that, or Stolas would take the phone and give it back to her and defend her. Or maybe that would not even happen. You see now?

Stolas was the only thing shielding her from the abuse by being the shield that took it. She is not completely conscious of this, but she just knows that Stolas left, and that she is alone now.

This is why it is so hard for her to accept the reality that Stella was abusive, because she loves her mother even if she can’t really count on her as a parent. Via was able to bond at some extent with Stella because Stolas was the one taking the blows, not because Stella was really “calmer” before. Stella is there as she always has been, but Via thinks Stella is worse now because of what Stolas did…

In Via’s eyes he left her defenseless and never was trully happy even with her. She thinks his unhappiness is because he stayed for obligation and not for love, but you can love your daughter and still be unhappy in your life in general because you can’t use your child to fill your own void like that.

You need someone to comfort you, and you are your kid’s caretaker, so your kid can’t help with that. Is actually a good parental trait that Stolas didn’t parentified her, and didn’t made her fill his own emotional needs by telling her his pain, and making her comfort him about it. But, it also was bad that he never explained anything because it kept Octavia in a parallel reality. However, this is a very hard situation to handle. Honestly I wouldn’t know what to tell a child in that situation.

For her it was she and Stolas against the world and that was fine the way it was.

Stolas was her everything while she grew up, her entire happiness. So, she feels a betrayal to learn that he wasn’t as happy as her in those moments (we know he was in those moments even if he endured unhappiness in the marriage and his personal life, but she thinks that).

Is so painful because they were the world for each other, but she doesn’t understand that he was so mistreated at the same time, and not loved back by anyone else. By an equal, by a partner or friends and he also has depression. That is not related to her…

[wastemanjohn]

i'm not at all bothered about people disliking john because entirely valid tbh and someone else's opinion changes nothing for me. i just think the militant anti john brigade - that is, those that make up textually unsupported and entirely leftfield reasons to dislike him - are really missing out.

the thing is, we've got an absolute buffet of an interesting and irreparably fucked up character here. we could debate the absolute Horrors of john winchester and his a+ parenting for days on end literally from the two seconds of screentime he had. because he does suck! it's totally fair to say that canon john is selfish, neglectful and at best emotionally abusive. now i'm defo no apologist (see username) - but he's also the furthest thing from a cardboard shitty abusive dad. there is serious context for the things he does and the way he thinks.

john's life was hell man. his own dad, for all he knew, abandoned him. he went to war young and almost certainly came back with ptsd. these things alone don't exactly make life easy but then your wife burns to death on a ceiling and you're left a widower and a single dad to a baby and a pre schooler before you're even thirty? then discover that it couldn't even be a plain old housefire but no - there is actual Evil out there and you and your children are not safe and never will be?

the desire for revenge is understandable. the desire to do stupid and paradoxically dangerous things to protect your children are understandable. right, good or healthy? no. but understandable. and that's what makes a good sympathetic character.

basically i think a lot of negative readings of john exaggerate the badness of his intentions and ignore his humanity. it's also understandable that john is not a beacon of emotional regulation. it's also understandable that he cant always balance being emotionally and physically there for his kids with Fighting The Horrors. pour alcohol misuse onto this dumpster fire and you're not getting a perfect person, or a perfect parent. you're getting a broken human who was focused only on keeping his kids safe, alive, protected, and able to protect themselves. sure, he had tunnel vision about it. he did it very badly. he controlled sam as the youngest and parentified dean as the oldest. he made sam feel misunderstood and smothered. he made dean feel completely responsible for the welfare of his brother and dependent on john's praise and approval as his second in command.

john fucked his kids up IMMEASURABLY. he thought he was doing the right thing.

also - remember young john? remember how he's softly spoken and loves his cars and adores his girlfriend and respects his fucking elders and, to quote mary, "believes in happy endings"? remember the doting dad we see for like a minute in the pilot? is that not meant to show us that, had his life not taken the turn it did - he would likely have been an entirely different person? how is the tragedy of that not also completely DELICIOUS??

so why homophobic john? why john who beat dean senseless regularly? why john who gave no shits and wanted his boys to be miserable? why these embellishments that make him someone else, someone with nothing good inside of him, when what canon gives us is so much better?

come on guys. the tragic messy sad angry selfish HUMAN john we got in the show is an absolute treat. why are we making him an irredeemable, unfeeling and uncomplicated asshole who doesn't give a shit about his boys. ya'll saw him spending a good 50% of his screen time crying about how much he loved them right? and sam and dean KNEW he loved them. they also knew, or in dean's case came to realise, that he was a terrible father in many ways. real life is messy and nuanced. families are messy and nuanced. and imo spn got this so right.

[atelierlili]

I always wondered why Katniss factored marriage and children into the equation when it came to reciprocating Peeta’s feelings for her. It’s a rather large leap, especially when Peeta himself never expresses wanting children at any point in the story. He uses children as a tool to persuade Katniss and the Capital to save her life, but the only time we see him express any desire/feelings of having one of his own is when he’s crying after the baby bomb. But we never hear his real thoughts.

But you wanna know who does express wanting children? Gale.

It’s one of the first thing he mentions in chapter one. And it pisses her off so much.

(I also want to add that Gale reframes/establishes the dynamic of Katniss and him caring for their siblings from something that is sibling-sibling to parent-sibling. And he is not wrong. Katniss doesn’t refute him. Both Katniss and Gale are surrogate parents to their siblings. Which is also why Katniss love and affection of Prim, is not just sisterly. I’ve seen people say Katniss is only sisterly to Prim- but she’s not. She’s parentified their relationship to the point she subconsciously see Prim as her child, which makes this a tragedy because she’ll loose her first child no matter what she does by the end of the story.)

But Gale’s phrasing here elevates himself as a potential suitor to Katniss by placing them both as the parental roles to these children. (Which irritates her a lot ). Which is why she brings the topic up with her relationship with Peeta. Because she’s subconsciously aware of Gale’s efforts and knows it will be a point of contention between them. It hangs over her head in a way.

With Gale, children are extra mouths to feed. (But Gale will do fine. He can work. He can hunt.) It’s all framed with calculated survival in mind. But it’s also not something she had planned in the future at any point.

But Peeta’s children? Oh they deserve to be born because Peeta deserves to be a father. He would be such a good father. They deserve to exist in a world where they can be safe and happy. (Even if it’s not with her.)

This is also why I think she subconsciously sees Peeta’s baby as her own. And I don’t think of it as a cruel/heartless thing, it’s just you’d be more protective of your own child compared to someone else’s. Katniss sees Gale as a reliable person who’s equipped to look after a kid. She doesn’t express the same kind of maternal instinct/yearning for the Baby Hawthrone’s safety as she does with the idea of Baby Mellark, because she doesn’t think of Gale’s child as her own. She never hopes for a better future for them, but she does with Peeta because he and that baby gives her hope. And she loves him that much.

[r1z3n]

More Batfam thoughts

You know I agree with the takes about Tim "I have parentified to a Insane Degree" Drake would look at most adults' authority over him including Bruce's with scoff and dismissal. Expect: Dick Grayson. And maybe Jason Todd. But not Batman or Bruce. Not his parents. Not Alfred. Not police or military. Not the president (Especially if it is Luthor). Not a single member of the Justice League even Wonder Woman. Tim will respect them all as people (mostly), as experts in their field and sometimes as missions leads. Dick Grayson on the other hand has the special place of being basically the only adult person that Tim Drake will respect as an authority. (and I also want to be clear Dick Grayson not necessarily Nightwing and Tim Drake not Red Robin as that is a different conversation) Which imagine how horrifying for people to realize that. Like image if will gotham rouges and Titans realizing that Tim Drake may technically be Batman's Robin III, but that is Dick Grayson/Nightwing's kid. The Gotham rouges/goons like Batman already on thin ice for the no kill thing, but most can rationalize it as grief, but Nightwing? First Robin? They trust but they don't forget that Robin is the reason they know there are worse and more horrifying things to experience then death. Also sure pissing Batman off is bad, but no one wants Nightwing hunting them down. Like no one was genuinely shocked about the Joker brief meeting with Hades. and the Titan or League realizing that Dick basically is the sole person standing in the way of Tim being the Best Villain in the world.

[mycurrentobsessionis]

@pink-pearl-plain-jeans took a few days but here. hope this is something you actually wanted lol. this is lowkey a ramble but it is an informed ramble.

First, you are gonna seriously regret asking me, because I have nearly 300 hours logged between these two games and half a masters degree in clinical psychology.

Second, to be fair, you don't have know a lot about ballroom dancing -- I know almost nothing. Toward the end of Step 4 on Baxter's route, he will joke to Jamie about the irony of ballroom dancing, which requires both a partner and a certain level of intimacy, is his most beloved hobby, when the ability to form close, intimate relationships is his biggest struggle.

Baxter is a pretty good example of what disorganized, or fearful-avoidant, attachment looks like in adults. He both desperately wants to form emotional connections with others and intensely fears those same attachments, viewing them as inherently unsafe and unstable. The player can see this in the way Baxter attempts to form lots of superficial connections where he overshares personal details while also being evasive about his deeper feelings. He is aware that he needs some level of human interaction and works to fill that need without leaving himself vulnerable to being hurt or abandoned. This can occur in individuals who had inconsistent parents growing up. Baxter's relationship to dancing mirrors his emotional progression with attachment to others.

As a child, he has a stable group of friends and dances at the country club competitively, and thus likely has a stable, consistent partner with whom he performs. We know very little about Mr. and Mrs. Ward, except for the following:

They are older.

They are wealthy, and likely old money.

They are bigoted, like being queerphobic and racist.

They expected Baxter to behave with greater maturity than would have been typical for his age and "at times, as if he was even older [than them]."

He did not want to spend his first summer after college with them, so they shipped him off to a tiny beachside tourist town, either not caring or not knowing that he is petrified of the ocean.

Something about Baxter would be a problem, and they would hate him if he were someone else's child.

From this, we can garner a few things. The first is that the Wards were likely emotionally immature, possibly parentified him, and likely played "it's okay if it's you" card. When we meet Baxter as a child in OLNF, he is clearly very fond of Qiu, Ren, and possibly Tamarack and Franky as well. These relationships likely provided insulation from parents who alternated between being emotionally distant and overcontrolling. It also makes sense that Baxter would be drawn to younger children here. Baxter chalks it up to his own immaturity, but I would argue that it is in fact because he is precocious that he chooses a younger friend group. Kids his own age would likely be put off by his attitude and may take it as condescending, whereas younger children would appreciate him as older and wiser. Additionally, younger children give him the opportunity to play and engage in silly antics that he may have missed out the first time.

I also wouldn't be surprised if there was some cognitive dissonance as well, since his parents probably espoused queerphobic ideals while also professing to love Baxter, who himself is bisexual and knew very well that he was attracted to boys by the age of 12. Given this, and the amount of bitterness with which he later speaks about them, it also would not surprise me if they had some influence on his drifting apart from Ren and Qiu as they got older. Not that this has to be the case, but I could see Baxter avoiding bringing his very-visibly queer friends (including one who is also a POC) around his parents to avoid hurting them.

He grows up and appears in OLBA as a teen who is somewhat adrift. He doesn't appear to have a stable friend group or sense of identity, and he has limited his contact with his parents to the minimum amount that he feels obligated to contact them. Now, shifting identity is pretty normal for young adults, but Baxter's seems less stable than it should be. What I actually thought was really interesting is the subtle shift between Baxter as he presents himself and as he actually is. He presents himself as accommodating, complimentary, confident, and friendly. The person he actually is -- the one he thinks no one will like -- is sardonic, self-effacing, mischievous, and lonely. In his desire to be included, he avoids imposing his will on others -- Jamie can even convince him to wear a swimsuit and go into the ocean if they really want, something he is terrified to do. He is only able to be genuine if either (a) Jamie has made an explicit effort to show him he is accepted or (b) he is emotionally dysregulated enough that he is unable to keep up the charade

Anyway, at this point, he is presumably no longer competing, and no longer has a steady partner. In his first interaction with Jamie and Cove, he is immediately offering to be their partner, which is a deliberate double-entendre. He comes on strong, because he needs the relationship to begin quickly in order the get what he needs out of it. He has no intention of actually taking the time to get to know people or build a genuine connection with them. It's about control here. Also note that he offers this with the implication that he would be teaching them to dance. Even in asking for a temporary connection, he's framing it as him offering a service in exchange for their company because he doesn't see himself as valuable on his own (Qiu also does this btw). In summary, he is dancing with people he barely knows because while the steps won't be familiar or comforting, he doesn't have to worry about mistakes either. (dun dun dun, the mortifying ordeal of being known!)

As an adult, he shifts this into a more formalized version. He isn't stupid, nor does he enjoy hurting people. He knows that most people are unwilling to abandon relationships so quickly, and he knows he's hurt people. The thing about attachment styles is that you can develop a secure attachment style as an adult. The problem is that you do this by essentially re-parenting yourself. Learning to treat himself with self-compassion is really difficult, though, because that's a learned skill. He needs community or a therapist. The problem is that because of his disorganized attachment style, forming a community is difficult and he would probably also have trouble finding a therapist because that would require a level of vulnerability that he struggles with. Baxter also heavily relies on avoidance as a coping mechanism. When he enters into a relationship, because he is primed to view them as unpredictable and conditional, it activates his fight-flight-freeze response. He then attempts to escape the situation by (a) leaving, (b) ghosting/ignoring, and (c) distancing himself using social niceties to avoid confrontation. If he is cornered (like the end of step 3), he switches to fight mode and becomes caustic. This may indicate that if he entered a therapeutic relationship, he is likely to end therapy prematurely to avoid thinking about his loneliness and attachment issues.

So, because he knows he hurts people by doing all of this, and because he doesn't know how to maintain a relationship, he formalizes the arrangement. People literally pay him for a service (planning) and because he is "in" on such an intimate event, he still gets the feeling of getting to know people and be included, without the emotional risk. Same thing with dancing.

That's why dancing with him after the wedding is such a big deal. Yes, it's a callback to a very special moment for Baxter, but it's also a metaphor for re-entering a relationship. He's been looking at and judging his relationships on the ruptures not the repairs, and to be able to repair a relationship after the mask has come off, the set's been wrecked, and the crowd is gone means that he has lived a lonely life for no reason.

Anyway, all this is to say that Cove was 100% right when he clocked that Baxter was insincere and interacted with people in a really weird way. No one listened though.

[shinoposting]

I'm finally revisiting the Uchiha family dynamics and I have...a lot of thoughts.

When Itachi agreed that Naruto had been a better brother, that was more literal than I first thought. Because he wasn't acting as a brother. He was acting as a parent. And I can't figure out what excuse Mikoto had for Itachi to be so parentified, but in hindsight it's so obvious that it's depressing.

The way Itachi interacted with Sasuke lacked the roughness of normal sibling love. There's no crude banter and rough housing, he teaches gently, he's happy to provide with no reluctance or annoyance, and he never tells him to go away, just that he's busy. In Parent and Child Day, instead of remembering his mother and father, when Sasuke is trying to figure out how to be a parent, he has a flashback of Itachi instead? Why was he getting that attention from his brother instead of Mikoto? When Itachi became so busy what was Sasuke supposed to do? Is that why he got so clingy??

What the fuck was going on in that household? God this is suffering

[butchisrevolution]

dolly dog man readthrough #8

grime and punishment

THERE'S SOME INSANE SYMBOLISM IN THIS ONE

also yes i skipped a readthrough and yes it is in my drafts, im publishing it later bc i had problems with the image files

this is a metaphor for life and having the autonomy to choose your own path and this is probably gonna be the theme for the rest of the book

im guessing

all of grampa's experiences with others in life have been transactional, likely since childhood, to the point that he is unable to see others in any way other than a means to an end

while his son, petey, fits an NPD diagnosis almost exactly, grampa seems to fit an ASPD diagnosis almost exactly.

anddd

andddd

this is the most open he has been about his feelings. and its in an altered state

this is a metaphor for people who avoid therapy and medication, instead opting into dependence on recreational drugs to regulate and process their emotions

petey hangs onto the hate towards his father because it's the only thing he has left with him in relation to his father. giving up the hate would mean giving up his father, and deep down he still just wants to be loved, so he settles for what he's given

being a witness to abuse is really hard, especially when you're trying to explain it to someone who wasn't around to see it, someone younger. you want to protect them from the harsh knowledge, but you want them to understand your pain. it's even harder when you have to watch your other parent simply take it, settle with the abuse, because they feel like there's no escape. it makes you lose hope and really shapes your expectations for what life will look like for the worse.

OH FUCK. SHIT

side note: the composition of these frames is really nice... in the second frame, his son's speech bubble comes from behind him, as if it's sneaking up on him. the sizzling of the pan goes off the page to the right, continuing as his son talks, but it abruptly stops once he finishes the sentence. it literally shows the room going quiet.

in the last frame, petey is super far behind him. there's a divide between him. it's as if li'l petey is fading into the background and an invisible barrier, petey's memories, is brought to the foreground. a divide between them, really showing how different their experiences of life are.

i also appreciate how the color changes of the background went through these panels, starting a deep angry color, fading to a more neutral, some tension with the yellow, and then desaturating as the question is asked.

silhouette comes in clutch every time. this entire scene is genuinely a cinematic masterpiece

i appreciate that they took the time to show that even when there's tension between them he still makes sure to take care of li'l petey

sickening page

this was created so beautifully.

the third panel is absolutely stunning, the symbolism managed in the imagery in such a simplistic comic is incredible. the bottled weeds from earlier in the book on the counter, the weeds that li'l petey specifically referred to as dying, which ended up symbolizing resistance in struggle... in this scene, it means both of those things at the same time. there's a duality.

also, the buds of the weeds being white i assume symbolizes grief and loss. outside, it's dark, the world is a dark place, but they've made a loving home together, which is why the walls are still multicolored. petey is struggling with issues from the past, but this time he's not alone and he can't give up. it's a lot of mixed feelings, just like the mixed colors on the wall.

he has a point, the little anarchist has a point

ACAB chief my beloved

he just does it for the fun of the game

i feel like im witnessing a Socratic seminar in comic form

to hate or not to hate

or smth

YEAH TELL EM LI'L PETEY SET THOSE BOUNDARIES

bro needs to stop parentifying his child !!

I KNEW THAT WAS GONNA COME BACK.

shitt bro...

let go of your baggage or it will only weigh you down

also i rlly liked the artistic decision to make petey's outline glow more when hugging his son so cute

fun fact this is actually a DBT crisis skill called "Pushing Away"

when there's nothing else you can do to make a situation better, you're allowed to give yourself the benefit of retiring from it. you're not required to stick it out for every problem in your life. you are allowed to have peace of mind

and now grampa has no choice to accept the situation for how it is. it's settled and boundaries are set. he can't wriggle out of them. it was a direct, neutral statement with no judgement. when you're in the wrong, sometimes that's the hardest thing to sit with. if someone tells you something you did with no judgement and you feel ashamed because of it, you can't blame it on the way they said it, you can only blame it on what you did.

PERFECT DBT SKILLS. PERFECT BOUNDARIES SETTING.

yeah this is essentially what people are saying when they try to make you explain your boundaries

if you fight enough with someone they may forget their footing and adjust their boundaries, but you don't have to fight, you don't have to explain your boundaries, you can just set them and leave it.

real shit bro real shit

IM FUCKING TWEAKING HOLY SHIT

that bottle again,,,,

after years of struggle he lets his inner child finally feel and see. he travelled his path and now he's ready to share his resilience with the rest of the people in his life, ready to reconnect in a new way, instead of hiding his resilience in private, ashamed, as if it's a show of weakness. he's learnt the strength of being open

YOU CAN COLOR IT ANY WAY YOU WANT......

FIEND! FIEND! FIEND! FIEND!

so THISSS is the sauce they put in this book...

EACH BOOK KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND ALSO MORE HEARTBREAKING

IM GONNA GENUINELY START TWEAKING

DAV PILKEY WHAT ARE YOU