#and the teacher said it was basically a horror story but they were like ‘iT wAsNt sCaRy’
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When you make sure to always pay attention when people are talking to you, and you listen very carefully and react to what they’re saying, and then when you are talking to them you cut yourself off to see if they’re paying attention and they don’t even notice because they weren’t listening to you in the first place, is that an infp thing or
#infp#Lizzy rambles#I’m so sick of listening to everyone and then no one even pretends to listen to me#I put in the effort and you just don’t even care#like thanks for that#I had. a fun day today#also some boys in my class were talking about this story they read in English#basically it’s a story about the events leading up to a fifteen year old girls r*pe and murder#and the teacher said it was basically a horror story but they were like ‘iT wAsNt sCaRy’#that’s bc they don’t have to live with the fear of being alone in a public place#of being at your HOUSE and feeling terror at noises you hear outside#bc it could be someone breaking in with the intent to assault you#of dreading going into cities bc there is a high probability you will get attacked#of trying to stay unnoticed as possible in public#and feeling panic when you see people larger than yourself filling a room#and taking a self defense course when your foot is essentially broken just so you know some things to protect yourself with (which I did)#I’m so tired#of guys making jokes abt stuff like that#and acting like it’s not a problem we have to deal with every second of our lives#and making posts about going out and r*ping us#I’m so so tired.#anyway yeah I almost set some people on fire today#like I said. I had a fun day.#rant#the story was horrible btw. idk why they had to read it.
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First of the bat, let me say this as a disclaimer. I love the og Percy Jackson series. Secondly, my fav character is Nico and then the Percy from the og series.
Do you know why I make this distinction? Because, Heroes of Olympus ruined Percy's basic characteristics.
Just think, this is the percy who was bullied in almost every school he attended (except, maybe, Goode). Even, camp half blood,till he came back from the first quest. This is the guy with so strong a sense of loyalty that he was willing to get into trouble with the teachers for Grover when they studied together, was willingly an outcast because he would rather be friends with the one guy everyone picked on and thus be bullied himself. He was pretty excited to have a brother once he got over the whole Cyclops thing, too. This is the same guy who spent all his free time looking for a runaway kid who said he hated him. Maybe it was out of misplaced guilt. Maybe it was due to the fact this guy big brothered everyone he could get away with. (Atleast, I felt like that.)
While we're on that issue. Was Nico right to blame Percy for Bianca's death? Absolutely, not. But he was also a grieving ten year old who just lost his only family (even though she had, in a way, already left him behind. But that's an entirely different rant on the Hunters as an institutions. Bianca was also a child, remember.). And considering that Nico changed his tune once he found the truth out and even helped Percy and the camp willingly afterwards, I like to think he more than made up for that mistake.
There's even a part where Percy refuses to burden Nico with the prophesy and claims it for himself. Considering that till then he was trying not to even think about it, I believe we can easily claim that Nico was in some ways important to Percy. Maybe not in the same way his Mom, Annabeth Or Grover was to him, but still an important person.
Then we have in the last Olympian, Percy using Nico as an example why Children of Hades shouldn't be treated as Pariahs. Because if not for him and the reinforcements his powers brought (not even counting the three whole deities he brought along) the casualties would have been higher. (It was Hades who locked Percy up. He even confirms that Nico hadn't had a clue. Nico in turn broke him out and got himself in trouble. Then in a turn of events, Percy starts to blame Nico for something that wasn't in his control. A reversal of roles so to speak. I had thought that it had been momentary anger on Percy's part, but apparently considering all the references to how Nico betrayed him in the HoO, it wasn't. He'd pushed it aside momentarily, it seems.)
Percy was not to blame for what happened to Nico in the original series. Life isn't fair and it just happened to be extra unfair to Nico. Even then Percy went out of his way to look after the kid, to make sure he had a safe space.
This is the Percy who I liked. The Son of Neptune only emphasised this. Even without his memories, he took Hazel and to a lesser extent Frank under his wings. He actually recognised Nico in a vague way. Not just Annabeth (which is something else I have beef with. What about his mother? Why didn't he remember Sally till a lot later and even then he didn't let her know he was safe till a lot later?)
Then comes the Mark of Athena. He apparently told so many horror stories to the 7 that there was a debate on whether or not they should save a 13 year old demigod, the brother to one of them, from a preventable death. This wasn't like the Titan war were demigods could be the enemy. Then why was there even a debate? It's like all that loyalty disappeared. This is the guy that was once bullied at every school he's attended. Doesn't he know the impact of telling tales when people aren't there to defend themselves? To tell the whole story? Then House of Hades. Every single person in that ship thought that Nico was spooky, creepy whatever and all that poor kid was doing was exist. He made himself scarce, barely spoke unless necessary and even then they were like ew, creepy. It's like Percy's personal loyalty became loyalty to just Annabeth. Fuck whatever happens to anyone else. It upsets me.
The later books ruined Percy as a character. And I will stand by this.
#percy jackson#nico di angelo#pjo#pjo hoo toa#i hate what they did to his character in the later books.
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teenage edgy atheist me would be SO mad at me being into religious symbols and concepts now lmao
i've been thinking a lot about how religion affected me deeply despite my family never being particularly insistent on it... like most people in my circles, i grew up as watered-down catholic. nobody was going to church or reading the bible, but we'd go to people's babies' baptisms, I'd chant a guardian angel prayer my grandma taught me every night, and despite my school being secular, we had an optional "religion" (catholic) period in elementary which most of our parents signed us up for.
i've heard horror stories from people who went to actually religious schools, run by nuns or priests, but this was different. my impression is that the school system never took this religion class too seriously, so there wasn't really a specific curriculum to be followed. the teachers would rotate constantly, and there was 0 consistency to the kind of activities we did. we'd dance and sing songs and play games, and then a teacher would pull a written test out of nowhere. the result being i was never properly explained the basics of it.
i was born catholic by default so i had to somehow know what a sin was already (the word sin in spanish sounds almost like "fish": pecado and pescado, so i spent YEARS believing "sinner" was some sort of fisherman metaphor), i never understood what use jesus's death had or why pilatus "washed his hands". i knew adam and eve were not supposed to be taken as real but then why was the rest of the bible? i was immersed into this strange lore that i couldn't make sense of and nobody was interested in explaining it in detail.
the only devout person i knew was my grandma. she was never the hateful discourse type nor did she go around spouting lore that would help me understand. like many women she was just very devoted to a benevolent god and to the virgin mary as a mother figure (i remember a prayer saying "mary, mother of god" and i was confused af since hadn't god created her?).
i'm not entirely sure where my fear came from. i remember my mom just once or twice mentioning god, she was probably just annoyed at me, and said god was going to punish me for whatever i was doing. and i took that SO seriously. i'd also always assumed hell was some sort of temporary place where you just had to repent for a while. i mentioned it once in the car and my dad calmly clarified that no, hell was forever. i was devastated. i became convinced that i was somehow evil and used to picture a scene in my mind where a cartoonish devil would appear in my room at night to take me to hell with him.
i eventually grew out of this, thankfully. we had our first communion ritual through the school, i realized it made 0 sense to me and became an edgelord atheist at 11, to my poor grandma's dismay. but i think the fear and the guilt and this idea of being constantly watched and judged still traumatized me a little. years after i'd stopped believing, i continued to whisper "sorry" to the air after doing something wrong.
but my whole point with this, i guess, is that i've found a new appreciation for my experience with religion. i still have a poor opinion of most it, but there's many elements i'm starting to enjoy thinking about. especially the ones pertaining to latin american syncretism, like the focus on the mother figure amidst absent fathers (i guess you could say god is latam's absent father too), loved ones becoming angels that stay around and look out for you, or miracles sprouting from tragedy. i'm also very tormented by death and it's somehow so comforting to make art about it. i really look forward to continue using these elements in the future🧸ྀི໒꒱⋆
#just some ramblings from last night cuz i was choking on my own mucus and couldn't sleep#me#religion#peklo
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Historical omegaverse au idea(s) I may never write but by the gods do I want to
I’m gonna be honest. I’ve been reading a couple historical omegaverse fics (specifically here and here) and I also watched The Nun II recently and idk. Ignoring the demon/horror aspect, I just kind of got caught with the idea of rural boarding school teacher and the lowly grounds worker there. With o!Steve as the teacher and a!Eddie as the groundskeeper of course.
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Picture it. Steve has “adopted” Max (I know, I know, it’s usually Dustin, but since Claudia isn’t going to be in the final season, I just can’t stand to get rid of her and Max makes the most sense for needing a new guardian) but according to paperwork to keep Max safe, they have lied and said that Max is biologically his. Perhaps him taking her in was one of the reasons why his high society family has disowned him and now he’s a vaguely destitute teacher that he only got the job of because his friend Robin (who teaches foreign language obvi) vouched for him. His being a teacher there allows Max to attend classes, though some of the snootier kids are assholes about it.
Anyways, Eddie works the grounds with his uncle, both also quite destitute but they have a good thing going there, though they are always treated poorly by the rich children there. The exceptions are of course the Wheeler child, the Sinclair children, and the Henderson child, as well as their friends the Hopper-Byers children who are there on scholarship. This is the group that welcomes Max into their fold eventually too.
Eddie of course thinks Steve is a bit too snooty when he first lays eyes on him, but then quickly realizes Steve isn’t like that at all. (Steve meanwhile thinks Eddie is uncouth until realizing he’s actually quite gentle and sensitive.) As well, if he has a child at such a young age, Eddie realizes that Steve must have had her probably around his first heat right after presenting. This is a belief everyone holds, and one Steve and Max actively encourages to prevent them taking Max away from him, but it does lead to them both being look down upon frequently and has ruined all prospects for Steve.
There’s obviously lots of pining, plenty of misunderstandings, and lots of Robin and Wayne and Max watching these two idiots dance around each other and face palming. Robin is of course the only one who knows the truth about Max because Robin knew Steve before he was disowned, and knew about Max’s past too. Maybe, just maybe, Steve rescued her from an abusive household. A violent stepfather, an abusive stepbrother, an alcoholic mother…maybe Steve helps her escape and leaves his past life behind.
MAYBE the reason Steve and Max crossed paths was because the Hargroves and the Harringtons were in talks of an arranged match between a!Billy and Steve. Steve didn’t want it, saw how miserable Max was, and basically kidnapped Max (with her consent) and ran away with her to give them both a chance at a better life.
Which is why, after Eddie and Steve finally start to make their moves, the climax of the story angst begins where Billy has found them (maybe Neil is dead idk and Billy took over managing the family), claiming Steve belongs to him and offering to drop all kidnapping charges if he returns quietly with Max. Eddie learns the truth about Max’s parentage then, and Steve’s past, and the whole lot of them come up with a solution that I don’t know what it is yet.
Maybe Steve sacrifices himself and agrees to return and mate with Billy only if Max can stay with her new friends and Robin and for the Hargroves forget about her existence. Billy would eventually accept this. Maybe while Steve and Billy are set to return home, Eddie rushes to prevent their departure and challenges Billy to a duel or something.
Blah blah blah Eddie wins of course and Steve and Max get to stay and Steve officially adopts her, and he and Eddie finally get together and knock boots. And Steve and Eddie love Max as their own and eventually give her a younger sibling which she then fears they’ll love more than her and worries Steve will regret adopting her but obviously that’s not true and Steve and Eddie make sure she knows that she is theirs in all ways. Their first child, no matter what.
Anyways yeah. Maybe one day I’ll do the research necessary for this. Also when I have time to devote myself to this story in its whole. Definitely deserves at least 50k I feel. And I sadly just don’t have time for that right now.
THAT BEING SAID.
I also really adore the idea of teacher Eddie and groundskeeper Steve, because I love reversing tropes and I love making Steve work with his hands in a lowly position, especially if he used to be from a “proper” family, but then the plot would definitely change some. Steve could honestly remain as the omega in this situation too, or switch it up and make him the alpha. Probably get rid of the parent aspect, unless perhaps it’s post-divorce Susan who has become an alcoholic and Eddie did actually officially adopt her because they had been neighbors or something before he moved for a better life.
OR Steve is the teacher but the above about Max and Eddie is still true and she can only attend the school because he’s the groundskeeper which still causes issues with the popular rich kids. And Steve is the teacher who takes a shining to her. Not sure what the main drama aspect would be then. Maybe Eddie is framed for something and is being sent away from the school or arrested or something, and Steve & Co. prove his innocence.
~
Idk. So many options. My issue with aus is that I also come up with aus of aus because I can’t decide how most I would love things to go which then makes it difficult to actually write anything 😂
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If anyone else wants to use any of these ideas in the meantime, feel free! Just tag credit and link the fic so I can read it!
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Hostage tags: @derythcorvinus @katyawriteswhump
#historical omegaverse au#steddie au#omega steve harrington#alpha eddie munson#steve harrington#eddie munson#max mayfield#robin buckley#stranger things#steddie#pre steddie#platonic stobin#plot thots
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hey!!!
so I had this dream last night. basically Val's daughter is in high school and the school has to go on lockdown because someone died in class. in my dream they had a seizure but you don't have to explicitly state the cause of death if that makes you uncomfortable, I completely understand that. anyway, after that, Val gets a call from her daughter and she's sobbing saying someone died in her class. that's where my dream ended, I just need answers, like how he'd react. thank you!!!!!
Hi friend,
This is one of those stories I hesitated for a while on. Lockdowns are a terrifying reality, and one of my worst fears is being in Valentino’s position. That being said, I didn’t want to let that fear hold me back from writing.
Take a peek below and I hope it's the answer you crave!
<3 Mandy
My memories of the event were hazy.
Watching my classmate fall to the ground. Being shoved alongside my peers out of my sixth period English class. Dodging the rush of the principal, the school nurse and a host of other adults.
Practice lockdown, practice lockdown.
The words on the loudspeaker blared alongside sirens. I covered my ears and closed my eyes as I tried to fight against the worst of the thoughts. In the darkness, my VoxTech watch sat silent against my wrist, wired to shut off as soon as a lockdown was announced.
My first day of preschool, my Uncle Vox had snapped a simplified VoxTech watch onto my wrist with explicit instructions that if I needed help, the only thing I had to do was press their picture on the watchface and they would come. Two days later, we sat down as a family and redefined what the word “help” meant and when it was appropriate to call them. Apparently, my teacher making me write my name wasn’t a good enough reason to call Uncle Vox in the middle of the work day.
Now in highschool, the technology evolved but the core protection of the device remained the same. With the fiercely terrifying hellscape we lived in, my Uncle Vox made sure that my watch would do nothing but protect me. Wrapped in the darkness of the classroom, the seconds ticked by. Without my watch, I lost all sense of time, panic growing as each second painstakingly passed. As soon as the all clear was announced, we were pushed out of the building. I pulled out my phone and joined in the chorus of classmates phoning their parents. Not far away, an ambulance sat and I watched in horror as a stretcher draped in a white sheet vanished into the awaiting back.
“Bebita? Is everything okay?” My fathers voice on the other end. “Princessa. Where are you?”
“Daddy, I think she died,” I choked out. “Something really bad happened, I…”
“I’ll be right there. Stay on the phone with me, mi amore,” he told me calmly. “Uncle Vox will be there in a moment and Daddy is on his way.”
I knew my Uncle Vox could travel using technology, and for the first time in my life I was grateful for his sudden appearance. I felt myself collapse in his arms and the next thing I knew, he was guiding me towards my fathers limo. My Dad stepped outside and my Uncle Vox handed me over to him.
“Bebita, princessa, shush. It’s okay, Papi is here, come on now, let's go home,” he said softly. “Come now.”
In the limo, wrapped in his arms, all the tears I fought to hold in silence during the lockdown flooded out. Sadness for my friend, trauma for being trapped for hours in silence and without any way to contact the outside world. I could feel my body begin to shake and my father wrapped his red jacket around me and tucked my head into him. “Daddy’s got you, baby.”
“Uncle Vox, I can’t lose my watch,” I choked out finally. “I can’t, there was no way to tell time, no way to contact you, I couldn’t…I can’t be trapped like this again!”
“Okay, okay baby, we’ll figure it out, just take a deep breath, calm down,” My Uncle Vox said gently. “I promise you I’ll fix it. And I promise you’ll never be disconnected from us again.”
#hazbin hotel#the vees#hazbin fluff#the vees x reader#valentino x reader#valentino#valentino x you#valentino hazbin hotel#vox x reader#hazbin hotel valentino#vox x valentino#voxval#hazbinhotel#hazbin hotel x reader
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@remy-a
Today's topic- the change in animation in LMK
I know like the majority of the Fandom has probably been sent to the ER after season 5 animation (or the emotion couldn't tell) but I think someone said that the animation slightly changed from like the Pilot to s 1-3, somewhere there, so like 3 different animation at this point, maybe??
Alright here's my thoughts
AGGAGAGAGGGGHHHHHHHH
Okay for real this time-
When I first watched LMK, I fell IN LOVE with the fluid motions, the active movement, the anime-style Influence, the exaggeration, the most random fun moments, pop ups, yse of environment, angles, camera movement, facial and body expression and other stuff I don't know the name of
Now as someone who's never watched Anime, please don't kill me, I don't exactly know what that looks like, but try going anywhere on the internet without tripping down the stairs and falling into the basement of ANIME
Also, I'm used to more rigid, beautiful backrounds, great lighting, or basic show animation. Such as Trollhunters, Amphibia, The Owl House, Big City Greens, Ninjago, How to Train your Dragon, Carmen Sandiego and others
So as you can see, this was new to me, and I fricken loved it
Now I can tell there definitely has been change from the Pilot to season 4, more refined, less sloppy
So, when season 5-
Oh dear, I love you Wild Brain, I really do, Ninjago and Carmen Sandiego WERE BEAUTIFUL
BUT AHHHHHH
I will say this, this is a new artstyle, they need practice, and I'm sure it'll improve, but this is not that time it's time to CRITISIZE GET THE RED PEN (maybe I am an English Teacher)
Remember what I said about what I love about LMK animation? Okay now throw it out the window into the Fire of FRICK THIS
Now I will say, they used some angles pretty well, such as using the environment to show emotion/tension, like when it would Pam out and something was blocking the two characters, from Wukong to Macaque to the poll in the Pagado and then a mountain between MK and Wukong near the end- look for its cool- someone pointed it out here on Tumblr can't remember name sorry
2nd, the expressions look really typical, like I miss the shot eyebrow from Wukong, or the the pathetic puppy eyes of MK, or the :3 for Mei, or the furious faces of Pigsy, the sparkly pure joy of Sandy, the chaotic gremlinness of MO, the evil Edit maker smiles of Macaque (I've seen your tiktoks) ALL THE LITTLE EXTRA THAT MADE THE EXPRESSIONS AND HUMOR/TENSION/EMOTION BETTER
3rd, the movements. Seen especially in the second episode when they escape. It's just, so basic running, like compare them running to MK's run in s2 running from the LBD and then when he ran in s4 away from the Ink scroll. Just so much more fear and dread. Also talking bout LBD, her voice actor? Phenomenal as always? Her movements and how they animate her? She seems more like a red headed doll with button eyes than the horror of something like FNAF(haven't played FNAF so can't really compare) what I'm saying is she seemed less huanting, a weary, fear-instilling, and bone-chilling(shut up let me pun) presence this time around, which really makes the scene less dramatic, but the camera angles, voice acting, and some animation still make it somewhat good.
Okay, this post is getting long and I can rant all day, and that's not even with me rewatching the show to pick it apart, someone probably already has good for them I'll look for it👍
In conclusion, comes of more dull, simple, rough, and rushed. S5 story, which has some problems, really hit deep in the last few episodes, mostly MK and Wukong, and if the studio beforehand continued animating, then I think it would have been a masterpiece, really sad to see the wasted potential
I know it's a new studio, but I wish they took more time to practice and learn, and maybe do it on a season that wasn't like the big reveal and end (I'd say a more happy season but let's be honest the Trauma train ain't stopping for a LONG TIME)
so, I guess I'll give it a 4/10, points for using the backround to storytell, still got some great angles, some funny bits here and there (the soldiers where a joy), action scenes were somewhat good, not a lot can't judge more, and pity points because I know they're still learning
#lego monkie kid#lmk wukong#lmk mk#lmk macaque#lmk lbd#lmk season 5#lmk animation#lmk mei#it better get better or we're driving to the stduio with pitchforks on a war bus#/hj#i really like the use of objects to identity the “wall” between characters#genius animation right there#thats probably the only good thing i liked#if someone remembers the Tumblr person who talked about do share#alright night o7
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Do you have any UD as adults hcs? (Like middle ageish)
Ooo hi!
Okay, again not rlly strict or clear ones, but I like to think about it. That being said, I'm mostly coming up with it as I go along. I'm just gonna answer this with every character as if nothing bad happened to them so I can include the Washingtons- I hope thats ok, if not I can do a post game one I'm sure all I think abt is this game.
Jess
I like to think she would become a model like she wants to be.
Also maybe an actress in some of Josh's films lol. I think she'd be good at it.
Honestly job wise I think she just does whatever she feels like, she's a very free and funloving person.
She visits Em at her work all the time, they have their lunch together.
She has a german shepard dog.
Ash
Ashley works on her books, which are mostly like crime-mystery type stories.
She often goes over Josh's scripts with him.
She works at a coffee shop in a mall because she just likes the vibe of sitting and writing in a café on her breaks.
She has pet ferrets.
Sam
She works at an animal shelter while also volunteering with conservation charities and stuff.
She's athletic and does runs and stuff for fundraising for charity.
She's hard to make plans with because she's always up to something, always busy. But she makes sure to be free for when the Washingtons host a get-together at the lodge :)
Em
She works assistant manager at a clothing store, and she is in her ELEMENT.
Crochets in her spare time.
Sometimes does hikes with Sam.
Always changing her hairstyle, she's definitely braver when it comes to her style and doing what she wants.
She has a cat.
Beth
Does soundtracks for things, she's very into her music. Often Josh will get her for his films.
She's a music teacher on top of that, just because I think it'd be funny.
She gets really into gardening, grows fruit + veg and uses it when she makes any meals.
That said she also gets into cooking and sometimes hosts dinners with family or friends.
Han
Still into her weird hobbies (bug keeping, doll collecting).
She works with Josh all the time and helps with concept art and stuff. (Shes artsy as well to me).
Spends a lot of time up at Blackwood, works there when it's open. She's a ski instructor.
She also collects bones and feathers and stuff up there.
She joins Sam on a lot of her hikes/runs as well.
Plans and hosts the Feburary lodge hangouts.
Josh
He does film writing/directing, much like his dad.
His movies are much more psychological horror whereas his dad's were more ur slasher-type horror.
He spends pretty much all his free time with his friends and family, his own home is basically abandoned 90% of the time.
Often helps Ashley go over her writing as well.
Him and Jess drive out into the woods at random times to walk and chat, usually trading updates on their friends' lives and stuff.
Mike
Sort of like Jess, he just does whatever.
I can see him working with dogs tbh, maybe with Sam at the shelter. He deals with the larger breeds specifically.
He has a collie dog he goes everywhere with pretty much.
He also likes to show up and bother Em at her work. Lol.
Matt
He becomes a P.E teacher at the same place Beth is a music teacher.
He often goes to Blackwood when Hannah's there and they ski and hike together.
He goes on roadtrips with Ashley and Josh, he's usually driving while they get pictures and stuff for inspiration. They have gotten lost a LOT.
Chris
He does app design, most of his work is from home.
He's often with Josh, and does help with any technical stuff for Josh.
Ashley and Josh like to drag him out into the sun every now and again, because otherwise he would likely happily sit behind a screen all day.
I think I'll leave this now, I hope its ok. Thanks for the ask :D
#I'd go into more detail about hcs for specific ships n stuff#but idk what u ship so i wasnt gonna like. Force u to read my ship hcs and i wasnt gonna write down stuff for every ship i have bc jeez#Thatd take forever#And im already a slow writer#so i kept it all platonic hcs#that being said if anyone has any ship related hcs like this I wanna hear them#desperate to talk abt ud#again ty for the ask#Hope its cool#until dawn#until dawn headcanons#no prank au headcanons
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one person said they were interested so…
The updated Aeryn (my Dark Urge) intro post! This freak 👇
Backstory/Key Points: Bhaal created Aeryn with the idea of a whole new race of pure waterbreathing bhaalspawn (pure because of githyanki asexual reproduction/egg laying) he used githyanki as a sort of “base” for their psionic abilities and rapid aging in their hatchling years. Aeryn is a slightly canon-divergent durge, he was supposed to mother this race who would take over the world, not take it over himself. He was found as an egg in a swamp by a drow scientist/scholar and his human wife, they raised him less out of the goodness of their hearts and more to see if a Githyanki could be normal (on that Society Of Brilliance grind) despite this they were very loving and made sure to drill empathy, humility and morals into him from a young age, to ensure he doesn’t follow in the footsteps of his brutal kin. (they had no idea how right they were, the sorry bastards) He blacked out, killed them and left home at age 10 because they tried to have the piano teacher who groomed him arrested.😬 he was taken in by a Warlock who introduced him to the world of crime, dark magic and hellian shit as he came into his Bhaalspawn self. eventually he became too much for the warlock to handle and he sold him to an entity that would eventually become his own patron. a few years later he was spat back out into Baldurs Gate and that’s when he met Sceleritas and joined the cult, at 21.
He works as a nurse and mercy killer, and clings on to his sanity for dear life by convincing himself he’s an angel who was sent to ease the world’s suffering by ending it, The Mercy Dagger. enter The Iron Fist, who comes along and uhhh basically just fucking breaks that boys brain over the span of 12-13 years. soulmates but make it platonic and a horror story, that’s the aeryn & gortash vibe. They’re two highly delusional people t fanning the flames of each others bullshit, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. One of Gortash’s main weird Things is a very sincere, very dangerous belief that Aeryn, born within a month of him being sold to Raphael, stole his heart that day. Somehow it’s the only way his insane brain can rationalise the fondness he feels for him. He is uhh. very weird about Aeryn’s heart. likes to press down on his pulse at random moments even in public just to make sure His Heart is healthy, and feel it speed up in anticipation. kinda turns him on. they’re really normal about each other i promise.
Extra info: uhh hes hypersexual and deeply genderweird and those things are kind of intertwined in a very fucked up way. he wears masks day to day pre tadpole to hide his githyanki (ish) features because they make him very conspicuous and some people straight up physically recoil at the sight of his face.
here’s my fave screencap of him and a little moodboard (?) of some very aeryn-coded posts 👍
#realising he has different hair in almost every picture#anyway! here it is! here He is! my little. oh god the autotext says sister. yeah. sure. gortash voice here’s my little sister. sorry#misgendering 🥰#your daily dose of idiocy#bg3#oc aeryn#aeryn and gortash#durge#durge oc#gortae ref
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Adam Lanza School shooter having dreams about school
-Adam Lanza youtube video (Pointless) CulturalPhilistine The Movie (Part 1/6)
'I . . . I actually have a lot of dreams about school. It’s strange but I still dream about middle school and, well, not my middle school but … I don’t know, I, I always, you know, that sense that you have in a dream when you actually know something, tha-the environment I’m in, I just know it’s middle school or high school or something like that but usually middle school.'
-Adam Lanza Youtube video Strange Dream #1: Beyond Dreams [sic] Door Is Where Horror Lies
Adam Lanza dreams about not doing something he was supposed to do in school and being put in jail. Escaping to be then be put through an obstacle course which he must ride in a tricycle and the person who is most entertaining will be allowed to be free from prison. The crowd is cheering except for one dude who says he sucks. He thinks he is going to win but then wakes up.
Excerpts from the video-
'~Dreamt on the lovely morning of 9/20/2011.
'I just woke up about ten minutes ago and I had a strange dream so I thought I would explain it. The background was basically, long story short was, I was in high school and I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to do and told the authority figures to fuck off and I got imprisoned.'
-Adam Lanza youtube video Strange Dream #2: Which side of the door, again?
He is talking about a dream he had of high school but not his school like a fictional layout of a school, where there was an assembly about how awful he is, he then got bullied by the principal and a teacher. He also is very assertive and defends himseld in the dream. He also takes plans to withdraw but is thwarted and also tries to escape from the school when a teacher starts mocking by being a barrier between him and the door but he is able to get past her and leave school.
Some excerpts from the video-
"~Dreamt on the lovely morning on 10/5/2011. Yes, the principal spoke to me in pseudo-iambic pentameter. Haters be hatin’. I’m back with another strange dream description … although when I woke up, I didn’t think “What did I just dream?” I thought, “That’s exactly how I feel” even though I guess the other one sort of applied in that sense too, but anyway .. . This part of the dream, I didn’t go through, I just knew it has the background. Apparently, I had been at a high school and the previous day there had been a … an assembly about how terrible of . . . [laughter] there’d been an assembly about how terrible of a person that I am. And .. . everything like that and how much everyone should hate me. And so, the next day I came in — into the school of course it, again it wasn’t my real high school, it was a fi-fictional layout along with fictional people. And I went up the stairs thinking how much I hated everything about the placeand entered a hallway, and wouldn’t you know there’s the principal walking down the hallway, he sees me. The principal comes up to me and grabs me and says: “Hi there, Smig,38 I wanna talk to you for a minute.” And I say that I just wanna go to class and I don’t want any trouble. Basically, I was saying that kind of thing. And . . . he said, “No, I wanna know what you thought about yesterday’s assembly?” And I basically expressed that it was . . . just slander and uh . . . that he was just being a jerk. Andhe — and he was saying, “I don’t like your attitude” or something like that; “Why don’t you come with me to my office?” and he was pulling me down the hallway, down to his office where there were some other students and there was a bench and he said, “Wait here, I need to deal with some other students first.” So I waited there, and he went into his office. And I had a short conversation with another student I think, and um, I entered the principal’s office intending to get . . . intending to withdraw immediately and there were a ton of students in there for all manner of reasons. I said to him that I wanted the withdrawal papers because I was going to be leaving that second, and he was mocking me, and he was skirting around the issue."
"So I started running down the hallway, and this is probably one of only . . . maybe at most, five times in my life that I’ve had this happen to me, but I was running in slow-motion trying to get out of there. And there were — at the end of the hallway, there was some teacher opening — holding the door that I could leave out of, open. Trying to mock me. And they were closing it and opening it again and closing it and opening it again..."
"...It’s pretty funny when you think about that dream … you would expect someone of my personality to be dreaming about how horrible … other students were to me and that I was being bull — that I had nightmares about being bullied as a child. But I never was bullied by other students. And in my dream, I had nothing but sympathy for the other students, in real life the bullies are the adults. Who would try to … impose culture?"
"And so of course in my dreams, I have nightmares about things like my parents, or school, or the police, or government, or really anything like that. Anywhere where I’m a child and there are adults around."
-Youtube video 'Done with Youtube'
I’m not lying, I actually do have these dreams, it’s just that the reason I’m posting them at all is not so much as a description of a strange dream as a description of what I feel. And it’s, and about that, it’s not that, I would be fine if one aspect of culture like school were removed. The reason why I have nightmares about school and my parents and all of those things are because they represent what culture is. I’m opposed to all of culture, to the extent that I oppose language itself.
-Youtube video 'Strange Dream #3: .. . Door'
Adam Lanza dreams of getting in trouble at the library, being wrongfully accused bcz he accidentally left with someone else's assignment, being told he is horrible, defending himself, getting beaten then reacting with violence and being told he's a brutish criminal and the he defends himself and rants about how adults are the bullies.
"~Dreamt on the beautifully gloomy afternoon of 10/15/2011. This Strange Dream description series seems to have taken on the form of “this dream I had illustrates how I feel,” which is fine with me because that’s more fun than just strange dream descriptions. Anyway, this dream st-started with me in a secondary school library. I was photocopying or copying something, and it was right before the last class of the day, so I finished what I was doing, and I was about to leave the library, and … I had two homework assignments that I’d completed on the counter in the library. I picked them up and some adult there told me that I couldn’t do that, that I had to — I don’t know what they were telling me to do. And I said, it’s fine, they’re mine, I just need to get to class. And the adult followed me out and halfway through the library they stopped me and a couple of them were inspecting my papers. And it turned out that only one of them was actually mine and one of them belonged to someone else. Heh, this seems to be a recurrent theme but … I can’t remember that actually ever happening in my life, I don’t know why I keep bringing that up. But I guess because it’s a way for them to say “look at how horrible of a person he is” because that’s what they started to say about me.
I said, um, well, I didn’t really say much of anything while they were chastising me, the adults left and came back with a bill. It had included hundreds of dollars for various things like the photocopying but there was a $2,500 fine for … leaving the library without following the proper procedure or something like that. I said how ridiculous it was and I was going to contest it to the best of my abilities and that really riled them up. They started … yelling at me and I eventually just said fuck this, I’m dropping out of school, do whatever you want. I started to get up to leave but one of them chased me and pushed me up against the wall and was screaming at me about how horrible of a person I was. And something I said must’ve provoked them into hitting me in the face because they did that eight times, and after the eighth time I slugged them — I slugged her in the face as hard as I possibly could and she backed off. And … started putting on a show of “oh I was just doing my job and this brutish criminal hit me” and I was saying, I was, I was shouting to everyone in the library: “oh come on, she’s, she hit me in the face eight times and I hit her once, how can you possibly say that I’m the criminal here?” And I put on my Tyler Clementi spiel about adults being the ones who bully children, not other children and I eventually just left the library … and the dream ended shortly after that."
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Hi there! Just curious because I've seen it so much on your blog but am ignorant of it; what is SVSSS? Novels? Set in China? Fantasy China? I don't know and wish for context :3
Oh you're on for a wild ride
SVSSS stands for Scum Villain's Self-Saving System. It's a Danmei (gay) novel set in fantasy China and is an isekai
Basically this guy Shen Yuan reads a very hetero harem novel called Proud Immortal Demon Way that's essentially Toxic Masculinity: The Novel and immediately dies because he fails at eating and in a fit of rage over how bad the book was
The only things he liked were the monsters and the protagonist Luo Binghe who is a dark protagonist who starts off the book going through trauma after trauma and finishes it as emperor of the world with hundreds of wives
Anyway so he's dead and still ranting about the book when a System shows up, dares him to do better, and then yeets him into the body of the Scum Villian of Proud Immortal Demon Way. Luo Binghe's teacher
So he has to fill in plot holes, make the story better, and not be tortured and then killed by the Protagonist
What he succeeds in doing is is making the protagonist Hella gay for him along with a bunch of other dudes who are now Hella gay for him
Also the author is also in this world having been transmigrated (also due to failures in eating) into cannon fodder that is destined to be killed by the author's favourite character who said author is blatantly gay for
Oh and the homophobia in the book is almost entirely what Shen Yuan brought with him because he is an unreliable narrator with a ton of internalised homophobia
It is very funny, the relationships are not even a bit healthy but in a "it's probably better they're together rather then fucking up other people" kinda way, and the sex scene in the main body of the text is terrible on purpose
I do recommend it but with the caveat that if suggestions of force or obsessive relationships and body horror are things you struggle with then maybe give it a miss
And yeah there is body horror. The author MXTX is fond of putting horror elements in her writing which I am actually a huge fan of
You could start with her more popular work The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation which is also really good though again; heavy on the body horror
You might have heard of that one as it was made into a very popular live action called The Untamed but I personally recommend the book over any of the adaptions
The author has another work Heaven Official's Blessing which is also really good but I haven't finished that one as I'm slowly getting the official translations
Hope that helps and I haven't just been super confusing
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“I think there is wrong with Summerville”|| Phoebe Spengler x FEM!reader
Descriptions: You meet a girl (aka phoebe) and hit it off about the machine she found but can’t figure out what it is during the last class of the day , and being a paranormal and horror fan you eventually figure it out , but will you ever get to tell her?....
pairings: Phoebe x reader (platonic for now)
warnings: Nothing but a story , which isn’t real and doesn’t follow the main movie storyline (kinda).
.You had met Phoebe when she first moved here , you were late for class
.But that didn't matter as much too you , neither did school or good grade as you were more interested in the paranormal and horror anything , and it wasn't like you weren't smart you just didn't care about to getting to class on time or getting straight A's
.And as you sneak past the distracted teacher and slump down on a chair at the back at the class
.As you put you're backpack on the table , you look at the girl next to you , She had short , curly hair and had circular glasses that she back up her nose bridge every so often
.While you stared at her for a second too long , she didn't seem to notice as she was tinkering with some type of machine that you stumped you , even though it looked like you'd seen it before
."what is that" you asked trying to not seem like a creep "pardon?" the girl answered genially , like she had just snapped out of her own world
."I asked you about that machine , what is it?" "well , um i don't really know what it is yet , but I'll eventually figure it out" the girl replied back with a little more confidence "can i have a look?" you asked "yeah , sure" the girl said while sliding the machine across too you
.As you inspected the machine , you had this feeling that you had seen it before and that it looked eerily familiar , "i don't know why , but it looks really familiar , like I've seen it before but i don't know where" you had mumbled while racking you're brain "well , i gue-"
.The girl was about to say something before she was interrupted by the loud ring of the bell , when i registered the bell had rung and as i got off the chair and i spun around "what were you going to say by the way?" i asked "it doesn't really matter” the girl mumbled “ well , can I at least know your name” I asked with my hand raise to insinuate a handshake “the names phoebe” phoebe chirps while multitasking shaking and putting the machine in her bag
.”well , my names y/n and it’s a pleasure to meet you , hopefully I see you again but I best be going” you replied back with a wave as you begin to walk out the now empty classroom
.It was the last class of the day and as you walked home , you’re house is a few miles away but your mum was working and you’d had missed the bus , but too distract you from that you had begun to scroll through paranormal forms and wiki’s to maybe further the investigation of finding out what that machine was or just straight up find out what it was
.And find out you did , because you had just gotten home it was already dark and as you basically flew up the stairs to avoid your parent(s) and to get to your crappy family computer, and a few hours went by you had fortunately figured it out what it was
.It was a original ghostbusters trap and let’s just say you were a little giddy , especially too tell phoebe tomorrow and as as you ate dinner , did your night routine and got into bed you did some more info about the original trap and apparently it went missing a few months after one of the original Ghostbusters, Egon Spengler unfortunately passed away , which phoebe is maybe related too and maybe found it in the dirt farmers house somewhere
.And as you finally drifted off to sleep , you had this weird feeling , like you had chills even though it was July
.But you just brushed it off , everyone gets chills every once in a while it’s normal , right?...
part 2?
#pheobe spengler#the ghostbusters#ghostbusters x reader#ghostbusters#fluff#fluff headcanons#i lover her#pookie#headcanon#fanfic#ghostbusters frozen empire#ghostbusters afterlife#ghostbusters fandom
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Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1
Episode 1: The Danger Force Awakens
Season 1 Masterlist
*Welcome! If you don't know, I did the entirety of Henry Danger before this series, and whilst this could technically be read as a stand-alone story, reading the older books first would probably help everything make sense!
Click for vibes
Fun fact: I actually designed Miss Danger's new uniform first and then worked backwards to create a simpler version for the older one. So, I've had this design saved for a very long time!
Happy reading :)
~Swellview Academy for the Gifted~
If someone had said to (y/n) (y/l/n) that she'd one day end up as a teacher, she would've laughed in their face.
Engineer? Sure. It's what she'd always wanted to be. Superheroine? Sure - it wasn't so far-fetched after she met her beloved doofus. But teacher? She didn't think she was the type.
For years, her nerves made her too anxious in front of a crowd, especially one made up of teenagers, and everyone knows how cruel they can be. She always assumed she'd run a junk shop whilst moonlighting as a crimefighter; there was never time for anything else.
But things were different now--very different to how they'd been a few weeks prior. One door closed, and another opened, precisely to her and her husband's new venture - SWAG.
School was in session, and once she got into the swing of things and laid down the law, the kids were surprisingly eager to learn. They didn't jeer or make fun of her like in her nightmares; they just sat there, hanging onto her every word as she began the basics of a superhero's training.
She was the sensible one - what was new? - giving them genuine advice whilst Ray and Schwoz ran more...eccentric classes. But one thing stood out to Miles, Mila, Chapa, and Bose. They'd been at school for weeks, turning blind eyes to their professors' lovey-dovey hugs, kisses, and God knows what else, but they hadn't learned anything. Not really.
When Captain Man and Miss Danger said they'd train them to be outstanding heroes, they expected explosions, gun fights, and criminal takedowns, not homework, essays, and pop quizzes. And it wouldn't be so bad if it was helpful like it was at the beginning. It seemed like the adults were running out of things to say, keeping them glued to their desks without giving any practical guidance.
Theoretical knowledge wouldn't help in the real world, but tell that to Schwoz.
"Okay...time to practice your lying!" The bizarre man announced to a series of grumbles as he hurried through SWAG's classroom, heading for the lectern where (y/n) was standing.
Using her PearPad, she flicked the first slide of the slideshow onto the large Smartboard, knowing that this was what her doofus wanted her to teach. It wasn't like they liked this crap, even though telling fibs was a helpful skill. The kids were...amateurs, at best, totally unprepared and unskilled for a world of horror and violence. So, they were breaking them in gently, although they couldn't let them know.
"Hey, come on! Listen to Schwoz..." the heroine gently scolded the moody children, who slouched in their seats at the thought of another boring lesson. But, they respected Miss Danger, thinking she was kind and considerate, much more than her man-child of a husband, so they paid attention - sort of.
"My friend is on fire. I must run to pour water on his face!" Schwoz read aloud, following the crappy lie he'd invented on the screen. It was strange and unbelievable, but still, he smiled at the kids and directed them to repeat after him.
"My friend is on fire, and--I'm really the only one doing this?" Mika frowned, starting off strongly with her usual enthusiasm. Still, she quickly stopped when she realised her brother and friends weren't joining. She was the try-hard of the group, and whilst she could cope with Captain Man's weird lesson plans, the others certainly couldn't.
Chapa sighed, her face twisting into its signature scowl as she leaned forward on her elbows, directing her fury mainly at the bald weirdo teaching them nonsense. She wasn't mad at Mrs. Manchester since she was sweet and generous and gave them self-defence classes, but Schwoz? Yeah, he was just Ray's yes-man.
"As fun as it is to practice lying all day, it's not fun at all, and I hate it!" She spat, a momentarily sweet smile turning into a snarl.
"Hate is a very strong word..." Miles spoke up, straightening himself out after reclining in his chair with his feet on the desk. He looked at his friend across the way with a typically serene expression - he'd always been into all that zen shit, but even he couldn't stand this.
"And in this case... It's accurate."
"What they're trying to say is that Captain Man and Miss Danger bought this school to teach us how to be superheroes..." Mika explained diplomatically, trying not to tread on her teacher's toes, but she understood her friends' frustration. This shit was boring...
"But if all we do is--"
"Guys, I know that this isn't the most...stimulating of lessons," (y/n) started, holding her hands up in confession, but it was either this or sending them into the fray to get pummelled. And honestly, she couldn't think of how many lies she'd had to tell to keep their operation secret.
"But lying is a very important of being a superhero! We have to know how to protect our secret identities!"
"You know what, though, (y/n/n)? We didn't ask for these powers!" Chapa argued, sending her tutors into eye-rolls and groans because this story was getting old. They loved to complain about how they didn't choose this life or whatever - like Ray and his sweet girl had a choice about their powers, either
"Oh, here we go..." Schwoz groaned, knowing they were about to launch into a dramatic retelling of how Swellview's favourite heroes - and some new friends - saved the city from a terrible foe.
"Yeah, Schwoz built the weapon that blew up and gave 'em to us when Captain Man, Miss Danger, and Kid Danger fought Drex!" Miles chuckled as the handyman stood there, hands on his hips, looking unimpressed at their ridicule.
"Yeah, you were all--ayeeeee, there's a caveman on top of meeee!" Bose joked in a poor imitation of the small man, but still, it made his friends laugh. And (y/n), honestly - she couldn't help but giggle.
"Why is that funny? (y/n), stop laughing with them! A caveman really was on top of me!" Schwoz exclaimed exasperatedly, losing control over his classroom as his co-teacher smothered her laughter - poorly.
The more they laughed, the more riled up the kids were, ignoring his tittering to quiet down and resume the lesson; they just wanted to remember how awesome it was to be in the heat of battle when they gained the powers that got them here. Well, not Mika yet, but definitely for the others.
"And Mika was all..."
"Kid Danger needs help!" The girl exclaimed as she stood up dramatically, hands poised on her hips like any good superhero. God, all she needed was a fan blowing her hair and some epic music...
"And Captain Man and Miss Danger were like..."
"Just shoot us!" Chapa growled, re-enacting how the lovers wrestled to keep their archenemy in front of the Omega Weapon, even though it meant sacrificing their superpowers. Oh, well - they came back eventually.
"But Kid Danger said..."
"If I blast you, you won't be indestructible anymore! And you won't have your super-regeneration!" Miles exclaimed nobly, channelling every bit of the former sidekick's bravery into his words. It was almost enough to make (y/n) tear up, thinking about her babies and how far away they were...
"Neither will Drex. Now, shoot us, you quitter!" Chapa growled, perfectly imitating Ray and how he still held that grudge for Henry after he quit. He was such a drama queen, but the fight was epic, covering everyone in glory--except for Schwoz. And he was still salty about that - where was his superpower, huh?
"I hit a caveman on the head. I was helping..." he muttered bitterly as (y/n) patted his shoulder, knowing he helped in his own way.
"And then, Kid Danger was like..."
"Hold onto your hoses!" Mile's body shook as he pretended to fire the Omega Weapon, turning his voice robotic and powerful as the 'blast' hit his friends, making them flail their arms in the air. Too bad they didn't take drama classes...
"Explosion!" Bose shouted in a deep, drawn-out cry like they were all in slow motion. The kids fell into their seats or onto their desks, pretending they were unconscious like they were after the battle, and whilst (y/n) appreciated their reverence - after all, that was the night she gained her second superpower - she still liked to have order amongst her pupils.
"Yeah, guys. We were there. We know what happened..." she said dryly, folding her arms and waiting for them to sit up.
"And now, I can..." However, the boy carried on, lifting his head from his desk as he tried to remember his power. Poor guy had a good heart, but brainpower wasn't his strong point, leaving him clueless and helpless more times than (y/n) cared to remember.
"Wait, what's my superpower again?"
"You can move things with your mind..." Mika reminded him, her tone slow and gentle like she was talking to a toddler. Still, Bose looked confused, looking at his hands and wondering at their ability, which he swore was something else.
"I thought that was Chapa," he said, throwing a thumb over his shoulder to the unamused girl behind him.
"No, I can shoot lightning bolts from my hands!" She corrected him, having had a few mishaps in the first few weeks. She was getting better at using them - they all were - but kept zapping things unintentionally--like (y/n) 's third-favourite sweater.
"Sick. Then, what's Miles' power?" Bose asked - as if he hadn't been friends with everyone for a month or so.
"He can teleport anywhere in the world," (y/n) explained tiredly, feeling the exhaustion seeping into her bones again as she remembered how difficult it was to keep a lid on that power. The poor kid went from Germany to Singapore in one day, and it wasn't easy to get him home...
"Filthy. Then, what's your superpower?" The long-haired boy turned to Mika, whose face fell as she struggled to answer.
She didn't have one, and she looked to her kind-hearted teacher for guidance because all the others had their powers, but hers hadn't materialised yet. As the weeks passed, she grew increasingly worried, thinking there had to be a mistake, even though (y/n) assured her the Omega Weapon's energy touched her. She advised her to wait and see, but that was easier said than done when your best friends could control lightning and bend physics to their will.
"She doesn't have one!" Chapa and Miles exclaimed in unison, not in a mean way, but because they were fed up with telling the dimwitted boy.
"For some reason, my power hasn't shown up--yet!" Mika clarified, making Bose gasp dramatically and clamp his hands over his face. It wasn't that big of a deal, and when she looked her way, (y/n) gave the girl a reassuring smile - she had something in her; she just knew it.
"If we could just focus your attention on what--" Schwoz tried to say, hoping he could finish his lying lesson, but they were too far gone now. Once you lost Bose's attention, that was it - you didn't get it back.
"Are you scared you'll never get one?"
"Absolutely not!" Mika scoffed, rolled her eyes, and folded her arms, playing off the kid's question like it didn't bother her. Not even a little bit. She didn't care - who wants a superpower anyway? Ew.
"See guys? That's bad lying," Miles joked, poking fun at his twin because he knew how obsessive she could be, and not discovering her power was really getting to her. He just knew it--saw how touchy she was at home and how she did everything to try and find it.
"Actually, dear brother, I'm not scared. (y/n) says she thinks my power needs the right conditions to be activated. And when it does, I'll kick your butt!" his sister replied snappily, giving the boy a deathly stare for trying to knock her confidence. (y/n) was smart and Swellview's greatest superheroine--if anyone knew their science-hero stuff, it was her.
"Whoa, you guys are related?!" Bose gasped, glancing between the twins with shocked eyes, making everyone facepalm again. It was like he'd been living under a rock, yet everyone knew he hadn't. He was just slow...and very, very unobservant.
"I know I have a superpower! I'm sure it will show up eventu--" Mika tried to tell them, placing all her confidence in Miss Danger's judgement, but Schwoz had had enough.
He was tired of the chitchat, feeling like his authority was being undermined, and the worst thing? His wingwoman was joining in, making the handyman elbow her ribs and frown as he raised an air horn in the air and squeezed the button. It made a noise that, remarkably, sounded like someone shouting HEY!, silencing the chattering kids and almost deafening the woman beside him.
"Thanks, Schwoz. I didn't like this ear that much anyway..." (y/n) winced, laying her palm over her poor ear as it rang and ached. Chapa frowned at the move, her scowl deepening until her face was a red, angry crumple because that was her friend - the one person who didn't judge or push her away in fear.
"Never Hey!-horn a woman!" She barked, roughly pushing her seat back and standing up, scarlet sparks flying from her fingertips as her temper set her superpower off.
"Chapa, relax... (y/n) can handle herself," Mika said soothingly. She did not want another incident of someone's butt getting fried because the girl got overwrought, but her advice made it worse.
Chapa's glowing red eyes snapped to hers, full of rage and anguish as the world tried to dampen her spirit.
"Never tell me to relax! We've been here three weeks! We should be learning how to be superheroes, but instead, we're practising lies and getting the Hey!-horn!" She yelled, growing angrier and angrier until not even (y/n) could keep her calm.
She had a point; school had started just under a month ago, and they were still yet to go out on a mission. But, in their defence, Ray and (y/n) knew they weren't ready, preferring to keep them out of sight and danger until they could at least get their powers under control - or hell, even discover them.
"Hey, I'm already great at lying!" Bose countered, smirking at his friends with some unknown smugness.
"Watch!... I am so wearing pants right now."
"Bose, are you not wearing pants right now?" Miles asked in a disbelieving voice, trying to catch a glance of his friend under the table. Although, on second thoughts, that didn't sound like a good idea, given how serious he looked.
"Not important. But what is important is that I'm takin' Schwoz's Hey!-horn!" The boy giggled, brushing off Miles' question, even though it was genuine.
(y/n) frowned at his words, her amused expression falling when the kid reached out his tensed hand and pressed two fingers to his temple. With extreme concentration, he used his telekinesis to lift the air horn out of Schwoz's hand, far above where the genius could reach. It was a hilarious prank for them, sending the children into laughter when Schwoz tried to grab it, just to come down empty-handed.
"I'm not going to jump for it..." he said meekly, shoving his hands deep in his pockets to dissuade temptation, even as (y/n) stretched to get the can. Bose lifted it higher, meaning the can brushed her fingertips before soaring above her head, and if she couldn't reach it, Schwoz had no chance.
"I know you want me to jump for it, but I'm a man of science, and I'm not going to--"
"Just jump, Schwoz. We all know you want to..." (y/n) groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose as the kids laughed, bating the genius to jump. Temptation won out, and he began leaping, stretching, and grunting, trying in vain to catch the horn, only for it to float higher. Someone had been practising with his superpower...
"Ya' hate to see it..." Miles chuckled, finding that he and his friends loved to mess around with the tiny man, much to (y/n) 's chagrin. This was what they did when they were bored, and ever since Bose mastered moving small, light objects, they'd revelled in it, ignoring any and all discipline.
"Give me back my Hey!-horn!" Schwoz snapped, stamping his feet and squirming on the spot like an infuriated child, but Bose didn't listen. He was too in love with his newfound powers.
"Sure. Soon as you let us fight crime," Chapa proposed with an evil smirk, making (y/n) sigh and scrub her face with her open palm. It was getting harder and harder to lie to the kids, and she felt bad that they took their wrath on the poor guy, knowing that he wouldn't do anything, unlike her and Ray.
"It's not up to me! It's up to Captain Man and Miss Danger!" Schwoz argued, thinking their treatment was unfair too, and all eyes fell on (y/n).
She didn't break, knowing that children could smell fear, and if she let them walk all over her, all hell would break loose. She didn't let her old babies get away with shit, so her new ones definitely couldn't, even though she knew they wanted more than namby-pamby lectures.
"(y/n), let us go out and fight crime! Come on, you remember what it was like to be a new sidekick, right?" Chapa pleaded, even as far as to smile slightly before her friends joined in, all clamouring for the woman to help them get out and kick some ass. But she just shook her head and gave them a sympathetic smile, knowing that whilst she had the authority to assign missions, she didn't want to.
"Sorry, but I'd need to discuss that sort of thing with Captain Man, and he's not here, so..." she shrugged, believing avoidance was her best tactic, and technically, it wasn't a lie.
She didn't know where her doofus was, although she'd bet he was probably growing needy after being separated from her all morning--and she missed him. It had been too long without his kisses...
"Well, where is he?" Mika asked expectantly, assuming Miss Danger would know where her husband was, given that they'd been practically joined at the hip since they'd come off their honeymoon. It was disgustingly cute despite the kids' groans and vomiting noises.
"Yeah, Captain Man never spends this much time away from Mis--" Miles' pondering was interrupted as the legendary hero dropped from the ceiling, landing in an epic pose with his knee touching the floor and his hands clenched.
The man loved a dramatic entrance, especially in his new uniform - a significant improvement on his old Captain Man suit. He looked bulkier and broader and loved encouraging his wife to feel up his muscles as she studied the small changes - a few extra grey and yellow patterns here and there. Bose's concentration snapped, sending the air horn clattering to the floor as everyone marvelled at the hero's intimidating yet impressive aura.
"EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!" He immediately shouted, dashing around the room like a madman as he yelled at the kids, inspiring panic in them at his frantic tone. He wanted them to get to work, needing their snappy, organised, and coordinated response because panic caused chaos in an emergency. But, of course, their excitement got the better of them.
"Yes!"
"Let's go!"
"THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Get up to the Man's Nest! Get your uniforms on! GO, GO, GO!" He shouted, slapping his hands on Bose's desk as he sat there, wide-eyed and frozen, even as his friends scrambled to get ready. The shouting wasn't helping, the pressure making him sweat and his mind blank as Ray turned to the Macklin twins.
"It's crimefightin' time! For real!" (y/n) stood back with Schwoz, watching the chaotic scene unfold with a mildly amused face. It wasn't good that they panicked so severely, but at least she saw her doofus standing there, looking all handsome, as his gaze flickered from the floundering kids to her. God, that uniform...it was a good change.
"I finally get to hurt someone!" Chapa shrieked, a red current sparking through her fingers as she thought about electrocuting criminals - perfect for letting off steam. Her unbridled rage brought her joy, but the room turned to pure bedlam as she laughed manically.
Ray and (y/n) locked eyes, sharing a baffled expression as Bose lost all control and flipped his desk, sending pencils rolling across the floor. He also pushed his chair across the room, shouting in anguish as the couple sighed in despair. This was why they didn't want them to go on missions yet.
"Are you wearing a shirt for pants?!" Mika asked with a frown, staring at the boy's legs as he blindly ran around with a blue hoodie pulled up to his butt. Well, he wasn't lying earlier...
"YES!" He cried before running away, not knowing what to do. Even Miles had lost his chill, wrestling with (y/n) for her PearPad for some unknown reason as Bose shook Ray by the shoulders. Honestly, they'd designed the classroom to make it easier to get upstairs, but they were turning it into a farce.
"I do not know what to do! I have literally forgotten all of my training!"
"Get up to the Man's Nest! This is not a drill!" Ray barked again, shoving Bose off his chest to go and grab a pan and wooden spoon, banging it for extra effect. He didn't know why the message wasn't getting through to them, with only Mika keeping calm as she jumped into her chair.
"Hurry up, you guys!" She called to her fellow students, knowing they had to get upstairs to where their gum was stored. She slapped her hand on the armrest's button, zooming through the ceiling tubes to put on her uniform. Meanwhile, the others remained in chaos, mindlessly wandering the room.
"Don't tell me what to do!" Chapa growled, even though the girl was long gone. Still, it was enough to make her spark - lousy news for Miles and Bose as they charged into her from both sides, ending in a scarlet explosion that sent them to the floor when the electricity jumped to their bodies.
"Oh, you hate to see it..." Schwoz retorted, silently glad to see the boys groaning in pain since they'd made fun of him and stole his Hey!-horn earlier.
As (y/n) gave him a scolding stare, Mika dropped down from the ceiling, wearing her silver and black super-suit and mask. Finally, someone was ready to go, but her brother and friends had fallen behind, still panicking as she began to bark orders.
"Get to the Man's Nest! Hit the chairs--let's go upstairs! Up to The Nest, then make the arrest! Everyone, get seated so bad guys can get yeeted!"
"I'll teleport there," Miles bragged as he slowly rose from the floor, holding his aching stomach after taking Chapa's lightning. At this point, Ray had dashed over to his sweet girl and handyman, welcoming her into his arms as she smiled warmly - her love brightened his mood, lessening the irritation from the disorder.
"Miles, are you sure that's a good idea? You can't control--" (y/n) tried to stop the boy, recalling the last time he tried to use his power and how difficult it was to get him back. However, she was too late, slumping into Ray's embrace again as the boy disappeared to God knows where in a flash of golden light.
"Sweet cheese..." the heroine sighed, resting her cheek against her husband's pec as his arms curled around her tighter, understanding her frustration. As he soothingly stroked her back, Chapa and Bose made it into their chairs, pushing the buttons and disappearing into the hideout, leaving Mika with the adults.
Well, that was an ordeal.
"This is not a drill!" Ray stomped over and growled at the girl as she retook her seat - a pretty poor move since she was already in her uniform and ready to go on his mission.
"I was ready first!" She shouted back before zooming upstairs, where the chaos undoubtedly continued in the couple's home. They knew they were inexperienced, but dear God, neither expected it to go that badly, wondering where they went wrong with such a simple routine.
"Hey, doofus..." Still, the silence was golden, allowing (y/n) to sidle up to her lover as he sighed, utterly exhausted after the brief exercise.
But he relaxed when she slipped her hands up his chest, pulling him into a much-needed kiss after a couple of hours apart - it was their way of reuniting. He hummed at her honey-like taste, squeezing her hips as she ran her fingers through the cropped hair at the nape of his neck, loving how sexy Captain Man looked in his new suit.
"Missed you, sweet girl..." Ray whispered, pecking his beautiful wife's lips again as she stroked his smooth cheeks. Two hours apart was too long and had been ever since their honeymoon spoiled them with three weeks alone in paradise.
Schwoz rolled his eyes, knowing they'd been worse since they returned home, but he couldn't blame them for being utterly in love - he was the one who married them.
"It's just a drill, isn't it?" (y/n) questioned knowingly, aware that her husband didn't want the kids in danger yet. Still, his sneaky plan made her smile, and when she did, he did, too, grinning from ear to ear as he confessed.
"Yeah..." he chuckled breathlessly, finding a smidge of fun in making the team panic, but it was also very telling. They weren't even close to being ready for bad guys yet, something the heroine reiterated as she followed her doofus into the back room. As much as she wanted to stand in his arms all day, they had younglings to teach, especially if they ran rampant in the Nest.
It's where they'd built a new tube pad - a huge one, enough to comfortably send a group of people around the Man's Nest at once. Plus, it gave them a perfect little hidey-hole to kiss and explore without young eyes around to see something scarring, often making Schwoz take the stairs.
"Doofus, that was a disaster..." (y/n) groaned, pulling the gumballs from her back pocket as she stepped into the tube with her lover, standing unnecessarily close after so many years in the old, narrow ones.
She popped one into her mouth as Ray sighed, his hands on her hips again as they waited for the suction to send them upwards. He didn't need his pretty girl to tell him that; he knew that the kids weren't ready, but as she'd found, it was getting harder and harder to keep them in SWAG when they were so desperate to see some action.
"I know, darlin'. And they're still not ready..." he sighed, knowing Chapa and Bose were probably still in their civilian clothes with Mika shouting at them and Miles in some far-off land. His wife offered him a tired but sweet smile as she chewed and blew a bubble, her new uniform materialising on her body in a burst of bright colours.
In a split-second, before they went upstairs, Ray took a moment to admire her figure, raking his eyes over the new design and how it complimented her so well. She was officially his new senior sidekick and, as such, deserved a new look, complete with an updated two-colour skirt, bodice, and other minor details to compliment his suit. And fuck - she looked hot.
"Pick your tongue up, doof." A soft voice broke him out of his daydream, and his gaze snapped up to her amused eyes as they crinkled with laughter. Caught red-handed.
"Can't blame a guy for admiring his wife, sweet girl, especially when she's so freakin' hot--" he grinned cheekily, and (y/n) didn't get a chance to reply when his arms tightened around her body as they blasted off.
Upstairs, in the Man's Nest, the couple were joined by Schwoz and found another chaotic scene as they'd predicted. Chapa and Bose were on their knees, nails scraping against the floor to try and scoop up millions of gumballs they'd accidentally dropped, even though they'd mixed together. Miles was with his sister, looking particularly grumpy after teleporting into a bird's nest, which left doo-doo and feathers stuck to his clothes and hair.
"Oh, dear God..." (y/n) groaned, wondering if there was any point in putting on her uniform when they were all in such disarray. She and her doofus shared an irked look with Schwoz as they descended the stairs, knowing they might as well get comfy.
At least the woman could admire her new home; even after a few weeks of living there, she still wasn't used to it.
There were a few familiar comforts like the tube and crescent-shaped couch in the centre of the spacious marble floor. Everything glowed and buzzed like in the Man Cave, and the sounds of computers whirring and alarms beeping soothed her longing for the old days, making up for the lack of an auto-snacker and sprocket.
New features included the chair station where the kids kept their gum and personal belongings, a smaller computer for general hero work, a front that anyone could walk through, and a side door that led to the many rooms in the hideout's bowels. She knew the route to her bedroom and the bathroom, but that was it - the place was a maze of corridors and hidden spaces.
But the best thing had to be the view. She always complained about living underground, going days without breaching the surface because her work kept her busy - who needed sunlight?
Ray heard her grumbles and solved them--anything to keep his wife happy--so he purchased the highest home in Swellview - on top of Mount Swellview. She could see the entire city: trees, sky and sun, and it was a welcome change.
"Miles found more gum!" Bose's shout broke her from the daydream, her gaze landing on the boys as the brunet charged at his friend to wrench the small tin from his hand. They'd explained that everyone's gum was unique, coded to each hero's uniform, but he didn't care - Bose saw what he needed and scrambled.
"What? No! That's my gum!" Miles screeched, wrestling to keep hold of his gumballs, going as far as to fall to the floor, not that it did him any good.
The container hit the tiles, sending another million balls across the floor - yellow mixing with red and blue until the three out-of-uniform kids couldn't tell the difference.
As they argued about whose fault it was, Ray, (y/n), and Schwoz sat on the couch, appreciating its familiar half-moon shape. They quickly got comfy, ignoring the chaos around them as they waited for the tweens to get organised eventually.
The hero curled an arm around his sweet girl, pulling her into his side as she smiled, her head resting on his shoulder. He even had a tub of nuts to nibble on, fully prepared to relax.
"When'd you build this place?" The man asked his handyman, fighting a smug smirk as his wife pecked his cheek--just because she enjoyed the feel of his skin on her lips.
"Last year," Schwoz replied, having had the spare hideout under wraps until needed. He'd built everything the Man Cave lacked in the new building, taking extra care to soundproof some particular rooms and claim his bedroom far away from them.
As they chatted, Bose brushed past the back of the couch, reaching over to pinch one of Captain Man's nuts as Mika and Chapa chased after him. Still not ready.
"I was going to give it to you both for your anniversary!"
"Aw, Schwozie. That's so sweet!" (y/n) cooed, her heart melting at the genius' generosity and how he gave it to them early, given that they found themselves unexpectedly married and homeless. She beamed at her husband, leaning up to peck his lips out of pure joy, almost forgetting the screaming children running around her.
Ten minutes later, and they'd made some progress - Bose was finally dressed. However, as always with the boy, they'd gone one step forward and two steps back, mostly because he was wearing Mika's silver suit. He thought he looked great, ignorant of the brawl between Chapa and Miles as he admired the slim-fit style.
"How did my gum get mixed in with yours?!" The dark-haired girl asked as the couple on the couch face-palmed.
"No idea, but it's my costume now! I have the power to do nothing!" Bose exclaimed with his hands on his hips, infuriating Mika. She didn't appreciate the ridicule, chasing after the boy when he fled her fury.
Still not ready.
"Hey, can everybody see this place?" Ray asked another fifteen minutes later as he, his beloved wife, and Schwoz stood before the vast window to admire the mountain view.
After waiting at least half an hour for the children, they'd stood up to stretch their legs, and that's when it hit him - maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have his headquarters plastered on top of a mountain where anyone could see it. That's why they lived underground before.
"Yes..." Schwoz nodded, wondering where he was going with this. He was good, but he couldn't make an entire building invisible. That was far too complicated.
"Well, what happens if bad guys come?"
"We'll defeat them, doofus. I mean, come on! You're Captain Man!" (y/n) giggled, squeezing his thick bicep for added effect because she knew that her heroic husband could and would take on any asshole who tried to invade their home. She'd help him, of course, but she only inflated his ego, feeling up his arm as he blushed.
"Aw... You're so sweet, sweet girl..." Ray cooed as she'd done earlier, a burning sense of masculine pride filling him at the knowledge that his sweet girl thought he was big, brave, and strong.
His fingers pinched her chin as he gave her her reward - a gentle kiss for being so perfect, meaning they didn't see the bouncing children around them. Still not ready.
Another twenty minutes passed, and the kids finally lined up in front of their tube chairs. Mika waited for her friends to blow their bubbles, eventually corralling them into chewing the correct gum whilst Captain Man and his wife sprawled on the couch. She didn't even want to know where that man had put his hands...
They were in uniform, ready and willing to kick some criminal butt. At last, Chapa was in red, Bose in blue, Miles in yellow, and Mika still in silver, completing the quartet of young sidekicks as they grinned and congratulated themselves. Obviously, they didn't see the unimpressed adults to their right...
"This was just a drill..." Ray told them slowly in a tired voice, fully expecting their shouts and complaints after making them panic. They snarled and glared, shouting about how he wasn't cool, a jerk, how he had some nerve, yadda-yadda-yadda. He didn't care, glancing at his sweet girl's PearPhone as she checked the time.
"And it took you...an hour and a half!" He told them sharply, pointing at her phone with a mildly disappointed face. Even (y/n) couldn't hide her dissatisfaction, having witnessed some utterly brutish and animalistic behaviour from the kids, and whilst she was fond of them, she wouldn't shy away from a much-needed telling-off.
"Okay, who burned the couch?! Huh? Fess up! Don't think I won't find out!" She threatened, angrily pointing to her beloved couch table - the one thing that genuinely reminded her of their old home. Well, not now; it was full of goddamn smouldering holes after someone's temper got the better of her.
"...Bose did it," Chapa lied, hiding her sparkling hands behind her back as the vacant boy stood silently. Of course, (y/n) wasn't an idiot, giving her a grave, deathly stare as she folded her arms, clearly seeing the actual culprit, despite being rather fond of the misunderstood girl.
Maybe she was getting old and broody, but honestly, it wasn't the fact that she'd ruined that couch that bothered her so much but the lies. The seats could be replaced or repaired, but she hated liars, making her shake her head disappointedly at the bashful girl, feeling more and more like a parent every day.
Good God...she was normal four kids ago, and now she was going grey.
~A while later~
It was fair to say that Ray's exercise was a complete flop. After all that effort, he stood the team down, ignoring the chorus of groans as the kids changed out of their uniforms again.
They knew he wouldn't let them go out, having grown used to getting their hopes up just to be disallowed from seeking out danger. It sucked, but they had no choice but to follow the boss' orders, gathering on the singed couch on Ray's command whilst he and (y/n) changed back into their regular clothes too.
The couple were clearly disappointed, sighing and shaking their heads as they prepared to review the drill. Although they hid it particularly well, fawning over each other with kisses, cuddles, and cooing over their matching gold rings, something they still weren't used to seeing.
The kids could puke, but they held in any ridicule since they were amid a telling-off. And Ray wouldn't let them off lightly.
"Aaaaaand...bam!" Ray laughed as he stood before the group, highly amused by the video he kept playing of Miles and Bose bumping into Chapa, causing her electricity to explode. He found it hilarious, chuckling despite their sad faces, rubbing up against his precious girl as she snacked on his cheese puffs.
"Again, 'cause it's funny...Bam!" he smiled, replaying the moment of the explosion on the giant holographic screen before laughing heartily - again and again and again.
"All right, last time, I swear--bam! Just kidding! I lied--bam!"
"I'm sick of watching this film!" Chapa growled, standing on the couch she'd burnt with her teeth bared and fingers zapping, threatening to cause more damage. She wasn't one to be mocked, especially by some hot-shot guy who thought he was better just because he was some superhero...okay, maybe he was a bit better.
"Captain, can we please go out and fight real crime?" Mika asked politely, trying to use her brightest smile and fluttering eyelashes to appeal to the man's heart. Given the glinting band on his left hand and the soft glances he kept shooting the pretty lady beside him, he had to have one.
"I know we look bad in here, but out in the real world, we'd be great! I just know it! Please, (y/n/n)? Pretty please?"
"Uh, well..." (y/n) gulped, hating how she had to lie to her face, but it had to be done. They were painfully unprepared for how severe and terrifying evil criminals could be, so she avoided their hopeful eyes, staring at her doofus instead.
Goddamn, he looked so good in that tight t-shirt, almost making her drool as one muscular arm wrapped around her shoulders, reminding her of their strength.
"--Well, we'd love to let you guys come along on a crime run, but the truth is...there's a crime drought," Ray said in her stead, quickly smoothing things over with a little white lie. It wasn't a very good one, and the kids didn't look very convinced, but he went with it.
"There is no such thing as a crime drought," Miles argued, looking at the lovey-dovey couple sceptically as the hero fed his wife a cheese puff, giggling when his cheese-dust-covered fingertip caught her lip.
"Is too!" (y/n) countered with her mouth full, playing along with her lover's lie for safety reasons. She didn't like it, but at least they'd be safe; what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.
"Ooh, she's got you there," Bose murmured to his friend, making Miles sigh. He wouldn't even try to reason with the dimwit.
"Look. This town's had some tasty crime waves in the past, but Miss Danger, Kid Danger, and I shredded the gnar and put all the criminals back in prison..." Ray told them, changing the humiliating video to an image of Henry in his old uniform.
He and (y/n) smiled sadly, their hearts clenching at the sight of their old friend and his bright smile. Dystopia had never felt so far away...
"My baby..."
"Miss ya, kid," they sniffed, blinking back tears as they huddled together, trying to remember the happier times and that the boy was now a young man, doing his own thing. There was no time to dwell on it; having made their peace with his decision, they quickly moved on, leaning on each other for support like always.
"Anyray," the man cleared his throat, earning a quick glance from his sweet girl because she hated when he did that silly name thing.
"We're in a crime drought, so...nobody's doing nothing."
"Ray! (y/n)!" A loud shout came behind them, making the couple jump as the children frowned. They never got to do anything fun. Upon turning around, they realised that Schwoz, the annoying weirdo he was, was the one who'd scared the heebie-jeebies out of them after connecting to the screen via video chat, making (y/n) jump into her husband's chest for safety.
"Sweet cheese, Schwoz!" She whimpered, clutching at her pounding heart, although Ray wasn't complaining. He didn't like to see her spooked, but damn, he didn't mind her rubbing up against him like that...
"I've been texting you both for ten minutes! Face your phones!" The genius instructed them, and when they pulled the cells from their pockets, the spouses realised he was right. (y/n) flicked through an onslaught of furious texts, all from Science Coconut 🥥 🧪, and she realised that Captain Man and Miss Danger were needed.
"Oopsie-Raysie..." her doofus did the same, hurriedly reading the message about some half-assed emergency that didn't sound too bad, but heroic assistance had been requested. He also had one from Sweet Girl ❤️💍 , telling him to have a good day before classes started. Aw...
"I miss one text on a weekend, and you threaten to fire me, but I guess it's okay for you and your wife to--"
"We gotta go!" Ray announced, ignoring the incessant tirade from the genius on the screen as his pretty girl tucked her phone away and tugged on his huge bicep, urging him to get moving. But they wouldn't get away that easily; as soon as he turned to follow his wife like a puppy, the kids were on their toes, interrogating with suspicious squints.
"Where are you going?" Mika asked, standing dangerously close to her teachers as Ray bumped against his lover, abs pushing against her back whilst the girl tried to catch a glimpse of his texts.
"Is it an emergency? Can we come?!" Chapa gasped, her eyes sparkling at the thought of tagging along. She couldn't wait for their first mission, but one look at the speechless heroes and she had a sinking feeling.
It was undeniably suspicious how Ray peeked over his shoulder, looking at Schwoz for support as he brainstormed a suitable lie, but he wasn't very convincing. (y/n) smiled nervously, feeling her tummy tingling when she heard the genius sigh because he knew what a tangled web they were weaving.
"Nah, it's not an emergency at all. Right, sweet girl?"
"Nope--no emergencies here. Not even a predicament or other bothersome problem..." she rambled, trying to remain as her doofus squeezed her shoulder, itching to get out from under their scrutinising stares.
"Then, where are you going?" Miles asked, noticing how they squirmed. They weren't very subtle for people who'd survived with their secrets for so long.
"Uh...our friend is on fire, and we--"
"--Not that one, Raymond--" (y/n) choked out, hiding her words in a swiftly executed cough as her doofus tried to use Schwoz's teachable lie. She saw their frowns, nerves flaring as their students grew more distrustful, knowing something was up.
"No? Okay--uh..." the hero recovered, smiling through his little fuck-up and casually pulling his wife closer, even as Mika judged him - very closely.
"Oh... We gotta take my aunt to the cleaners!"
"Why?" The girl asked, stepping closer to the nervous couple to try and make them spill, but luckily, Schwoz had their backs, thinking on the spot when they floundered.
"Because...she's very large."
"Yes!--I mean, yeah, yeah, huge. Very big lady--think human whale. Loves cheese. Very smelly. We need to clean her in a car wash, so...yeah," (y/n) nodded as Ray slowly guided her toward the metal door, knowing they could escape to their bedroom, get ready, and leave from there. The men agreed with her, nodding slightly too vigorously to be believable, but they rolled with it, even as the kids scoffed.
"What?"
"Yep! My incredibly hot wife is correct. Car wash. Only way my aunt can get a real deep cleaning--and she is due!" Ray chuckled as he backed into the doorway, verging on bolting down the corridor to safety. It had been four entire minutes since he kissed his sweet girl, and she looked so pretty...
"Can we come? We'll call it a practice mission," Mika suggested, thinking that cleaning an immensely fat lady didn't sound too terrifying or perilous, even though the man was clearly spouting BS.
"Oh, well, we'd love to let you come with us, but she's very shy--really, very, very shy! And the whole process is honestly disgusting, so--byeeeee!" The heroine laughed anxiously, crouching lower and lower with her doofus as the door slowly rolled down.
She couldn't stop word-vomiting until the children disappeared from view. Finally, the couple could breathe a sigh of relief. That had to be the worst lie in history, and she had no idea how they'd kept it rolling, draining her energy before they'd even stepped out of the door.
"God, doofus...We're such bad people--lying to children! This is what we're reduced to!" She exclaimed, rubbing her eyes as Ray softly kissed her forehead before tugging her down the hallway. They had to move quickly, but he wanted her safe and happy first - deeming his beloved wife more important than anything or anyone.
"It's lies or watching them get pulverised. They're not ready..." the man sighed, equally frustrated because he had four mini sidekicks ready. Still, they were dangerous to themselves and others with their touch-and-go powers, so he couldn't introduce the world to Danger Force.
"I know...I just...don't like the lies, Raymond."
"Let's just get through this mission, precious girl. We'll work it out when we get back..." he soothed her, knowing his wife was too sweet to lie all day and night.
She could slip out the odd fib to hide her identity, but this was too much. The bigger the lie became, the deeper the hole they dug, and she had no idea how they would get out.
But he was right, and she focused on the task ahead - something about a goat? Only in Swellview...
~Swellview Zoo ~
Some people had bizarre habits, which (y/n) found out once she and Captain Man arrived on-scene at their latest emergency.
They immediately spotted the problem: two low lives trying to steal a goat. She wasn't entirely sure what they would do with the poor thing. Still, the couple didn't wait to find out, swiftly apprehending the scumbags before they could commit some heinous goat-related crime.
After checking that the coast was clear, they quickly knocked them down and tied them up, thankful for the cover of night that hid their daring rescue. The animal was fine, munching away on a bush and other foliage, but that's not what the heroes were worried about.
Ray kept looking over his shoulder, not expecting a horde of knife-wielding maniacs but a stampede of angry children. Namely, Danger Force, who he swore would flip their shit if they knew they were being two-timed.
They needed to dispose of the goat-nappers and be on their way, hopefully before anyone saw them. One picture of Captain Man and Miss Danger fighting crime online and the secret would be out - that the city still needed heroes, just ones that weren't liabilities.
"Oh, quit whining. It's not that tight..." (y/n) scoffed at the sour-looking men as she tautened the neon chord she and her doofus lashed them back to back. They kept whinging and complaining about how they couldn't breathe, but she didn't care for goat abductors and ignored their grumbles.
"Hey, you single, pretty lady?" The dark-haired one in a flat cap asked, suggestively waggling his eyebrows at the heroine, who only wanted to do her job. She noticed how his eyes trailed down her slim-fitting bodice, lingering on her more...feminine features, and it was enough to make Ray curl his fists and grit his teeth.
"No, she's not," he hissed, pulling the strap tighter, and he didn't care if it dug into their flabby stomachs. Everyone knew that Miss Danger was taken, rumours swirling in the gossip columns that she'd finally tied the knot with Captain Man, so they didn't stand a chance against her beloved doofus. He knew they were just trying to get under his skin - it was working - but he couldn't help but snarl. He hated how they leered at his sweet girl.
"Why'd you guys steal a goat, anyway?" He asked gruffly, trying to distract their attention from the beauty beside him.
"This isn't just any old goat," said the ginger, greasy guy behind the flirtier, his sneer running down the hero's back like water. He could snarl all he wanted - the jig was up, and he was going to jail.
"This goat can say, butt!"
"It's worth millions!" His sweaty, chubby friend added, although the couple couldn't quite believe it. They looked dumb, but really? A talking animal?
"Goats can't say butt."
"Yeah, I smell bullshit, and it's not the goat," Ray and (y/n) argued scornfully, thinking they were stupid, more run-of-the-mill criminals with only one brain cell between them. However, as the hero stuck his nose up in the air and scoffed, something weird happened...
"Butt!" The goat bleated gruffly, and strangely, it sounded like it was talking. (y/n) assumed it was just a fluke--a coincidence--that the animal vaguely baaed like a person. However, she supposed it was a neat trick, perhaps not worth millions, but still kind of cool. And no one was more impressed than Ray, who loved cons like talking animals and making his precious wife facepalm when his scepticism fell flat.
"Okay, that thing should be president!" He exclaimed, but their captives were tired of all the chitchat. They admitted it; they'd tried to steal the goat - just punish them.
"Just take us to jail, okay?!" The redhead requested sharply, thinking a punishment was inevitable, but Captain Man had a predicament. Booking people in jail left a record, and he couldn't let anyone know that he and his sweet girl had been out fighting crime.
"No can do. Gonna have to zap you unconscious and drag your sad, limp bodies into the woods..." Ray sighed, especially when his wife shot him an alarmed look, mainly because that sounded slightly more extreme than she had planned. All this just to not get caught...
"Why? We're not putting up a fight!"
"Eh...been lying to some kids. Told 'em there was a crime drought. If they find out the truth, they're gonna want to come with us to fight crime, and it's gonna be a whole thing--" he shrugged, relaxing against the stone wall and wrapping an arm around his sweet girl.
She wasn't too sure why he was telling the whole story to their enemies, but she rolled with it. He was nice to lean against - robust and muscular body supporting her frame as she looped her arms around his lithe waist. It showed the scummy men she loved him, making Ray smirk victoriously when he pecked her forehead, and they lowered their gazes.
It was all going swimmingly, and the duo thought they had everything under control...until someone crept up behind them, swearing that they'd seen the heroes skulking outside the zoo at midnight like some common delinquents.
"Captain Man? Miss Danger?" A man asked confusedly, and the confident smiles fell from the couple's faces. They jumped out of each other's arms and away from the wall, wondering how someone could've snuck up on them. They knew that voice...and it didn't bode well.
Like something out of their worst nightmares, the entire KLVY news crew stood before them in a flash. From the sound recordists to the cameraman to Trent Overrunder and Mary Gaperman, everyone gathered around to see what the superheroes were doing at such a late hour. Before they knew what was happening, it was an informal, impromptu interview, and they didn't know what to say or how to explain their actions.
"What are you doing?" Trent asked, smirking slightly at the couple as they stood there like a pair of lemons, pale and perplexed with babbling mouths that made no sounds. (y/n) could see it now...heroes caught lying to children. Scandal. Fire. Explosions. Death.
"What...what are you doing, Trent? Hmmm?" She fired back, placing her hands on her hips to try and be obstreperous and difficult, avoiding the question at all costs.
"It's news team trivia night!" Mary replied brightly, giving them her usual beaming yet mindless smile as she poked out from behind her wittier colleague. (y/n) liked Mary, thinking she meant well and was very sweet, much nicer than Trent and his snarky comments, even if she was a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
"We meet other news teams at a pub and play trivia games against each other," Brian "The Fender" Bender explained in a newsy voice, even though it was self-explanatory. He winked subtly at Miss Danger, having always had a thing for the pretty heroine, yet that moronic partner of hers always stood in his way.
"I get to colour on the back of my menu!" Mary exclaimed happily with a cheesy grin as (y/n) ignored Brian's advances, thinking he was too polished and slick for her liking. She'd always preferred doofuses...
"Hey, is that the goat that says, butt?!" The reporter suddenly asked, tearing his gaze away from the eye candy to gawp at the mystical animal. Being a highly skilled journalist, he knew a scoop when he saw one, making his teammates gasp and stare.
"No, no, no, no, no--" Ray tried to say, furiously shaking his head with his sweet girl, but it was in vain. The goat had uncanny timing, seemingly saying its infamous word on cue and right when they wanted it to shut its poxy mouth.
"Buuuutt!"
"Holy goats, it is! Daner, give me a two-shot! Keep it loose--Hirsch can always blow it up in post!" Trent gasped and swiftly jumped into action, taking his place beside Ray while Brian sidled up to Miss Danger. Like a well-oiled machine, the news team snapped to it, taking their positions in a routine they knew like the back of their hands, ready to show the world what their beloved heroes had rescued.
As the camera focused, Ray and (y/n) looked at each other with panicked expressions, knowing that once they started rolling, the whole world, including the kids in the Man's Nest, would know what they'd been doing. And then, they'd never hear the end of it, and the large man hated how that schmuck cuddled up to his wife.
"We're going live, people!"
"Uh, Captain Man, we need to do something!" (y/n) hissed worriedly, squeezing her doofus' bicep whilst trying to lean away from The Fender and his potent aftershave. The guy smelt like one of those trees that hung from a rear-view mirror but a million times stronger.
What else was Ray meant to do? He had a split-second to think and decided he had no choice but to whip out his laser remote and zap the reporters. They fell like dominoes when the green beam blasted them. He took extreme pleasure in watching Brian hitting the ground after Trent, swiftly followed by the cameraman, killing the live feed before anything could be broadcast across the city. However, the hero didn't stop there.
She didn't necessarily agree with his methods, but (y/n) knew they were too deep now, so she followed her husband's lead, pulling out her remote to start zapping. Spinning on her heel, she took out the witnesses, lasering the goat thieves into unconsciousness whilst Ray d with the others - perhaps getting a little trigger-happy.
"My turn!" Mary, poor vacant Mary, squealed excitedly once he'd shot the mic girl and another cameraman. It wasn't the sort of thing anyone else would look forward to, and Ray almost felt sorry for her when the green plasma hit her in the chest. Almost.
"We are so going to hell..." (y/n) panted once it was all over, feeling like someone from a horror movie as she stood above all the sleeping bodies. They looked peaceful, and she knew that they weren't actually dead or injured, but still. It felt creepy, and she couldn't believe they were going to such lengths to keep a lie alive.
"It's fine, sweet girl..." Ray soothed her, equally winded after zapping so many people, but he didn't think it was so bad.
"We'll take these guys to the woods or whatever. They'll wake up after we're long gone, and no one will remember we were here. Look around, darlin'! I think we got away with that one."
Famous last words.
"Apúrense, por fin vamos a ganar a KLVY..."
"Doofus, someone's coming!" (y/n) whispered in horror as she heard the dulcet tones of a Spanish-speaking man approaching.
They couldn't catch a break, watching in horror as another news team rounded the corner, only this time, it was the people for the Latin channel. After having their asses kicked by KLVY, they were doing the walk of shame home as losers but still tried to think of ideas to win next time. Laughing amongst themselves, the reporters and crew didn't notice the frozen heroes shaking like leaves, surrounded by seemingly corpses, until it was too late to run.
"Captain Man? Miss Danger?" Hector Managua frowned, tilting his head in confusion as he took in the bizarre sight they made, looking like goddamn serial killers. He was like the Hispanic Trent Overrunder, clutching a microphone as his coworkers stared at their trivia rivals, wondering what the hell had happened.
"¡Qué onda!" Ray squeaked awkwardly, not knowing what to say other than warmly greeting them. He tried to look innocent, rubbing elbows with his sweet girl since no one would ever suspect her of any wrongdoing, not when she gave them a bright, if watery, smile like that.
"Hey, ¿ese es el chivo que dice, butt?!" Hector asked in shock, pointing his mic at the goat, which he easily recognised, even as it just stood there, chewing away at nothing.
"¡Por supuesto que no, estúpido! ¡Deja de hacer preguntas tontas! Dios mío..." (y/n) snapped haughtily, fed up with the day's stresses, and even though it wasn't in her nature, she didn't think twice about pointing her laser at the poor guy and firing. He went down like a sack of potatoes, hitting the ground with a thud before he could ask what else they were doing, and Ray quickly copied her.
Another five bodies fell, leaving the zoo's entrance looking like a silent protest or even something more sinister, but the couple ignored their dubious choices. They needed to get out of there fast, so after breathing a quick sigh of relief, they dashed over to the goat - the last witness to their misdeeds.
"Not one word about any of this!" Ray ordered the animal sharply before using an orange laser to cut its tether loose. (y/n) smiled at his silliness and patted the goat goodbye, thinking her lover was crazy for talking to the creature like it would say something back. Still, it was endearing, especially when it bleated in response.
"Buuuuuutt!"
"No buts!" He yelled after it as it walked off, probably searching for something strange to eat. Despite his childishness and madness, his sweet girl laughed and shook her head, knowing she wouldn't change him for the world.
"Aw...it was kinda cute," she pondered, smiling up at her husband with fluttering eyelashes as he took her hand, intent on fleeing the scene before someone else came along to photograph their crimes.
"We're not getting a goat, sweet girl..." the man told her gently but firmly, seeing through his wife's loving gaze to see her subtle ulterior motive. He heard the tentativeness in her voice and knew that she was angling for another pet, especially as she oo'ed and aw'ed when she petted the smelly thing.
He'd do anything to keep her happy but drew the line at goats. That thing would shit out the Man's Nest in two weeks, and he had enough with the rabbit.
"But Colin gets lonely!"
"I think he'd prefer an animal not fifty times his size..." he replied dryly to her whine, more focused on navigating the sea of bodies than her pleas. As much as Ray wanted to, he knew he couldn't accidentally-on-purpose step on Brian's face. So, he carefully ambled over the reporter's body, zipping through chaos swiftly and silently whilst (y/n)'s brain worked over time.
Technically, he said that Colin would like another smaller buddy. To her ears, that sounded a lot like permission to get another rabbit--and she'd been asking for one for years. Once she'd cleared Mary's body, she squeezed his arm tightly, practically buzzing as she hung off his body and squealed.
"Does that mean we can get another bunny?!"
"No!" Oh, well. It was worth a shot.
~The next day~
Classes resumed the following morning, and Ray and (y/n) swore they'd gotten away with the minor incident at the zoo.
The kids arrived bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready for another fun day of learning, seemingly unsuspecting and definitely not suspicious, and why would they be? Thankfully, nothing untoward aired on the news on all the breakfast shows. Trent and Mary looked worse for wear, but no one mentioned anything. And it gave the couple enough confidence to teach without too many nerves.
Once everyone sat down, the lecture began. Captain Man and Miss Danger took teaching duties together to show Danger Force some videos of their old fights, which wasn't necessarily the best plan, and (y/n) wasn't sure what the kids could learn from them. Still, it was nice to reflect on their victories.
Her doofus looked particularly handsome, wearing one of his signature loud shirts that emphasised his biceps and gave him a boyish air. He looked so good that she hung off every word he said, even if it was complete rubbish, rubbing against his elbows as the kids vaguely listened.
"--And even though we were on top of a moving train, I still saved the day...because I'm Captain Man. The end," Ray grinned, concluding his epic retelling of the time when he and his sidekicks defeated a plethora of supervillains before saving Swellview.
He was so in awe of himself that he didn't see the many eye rolls from his sweet girl, who knew that his story wasn't entirely true.
That was when they bumped into Phoebe Thunderman in Junk-N-Stuff, and if her memory was correct, (y/n) remembered that she, Henry, and the budding heroine had to save Captain Man before he was killed. It was so long ago before they'd even started dating. However, she recalled her panic after thinking she'd lost her love forever.
"You were encased in concrete most of the time," Miles commented dryly after watching the video and hearing his glorified narration. He'd found some plot holes in the man's story--like how The Toddler and Doctor Minyak had trapped him in a stone cube, forcing others to come to save him.
"Mmmm...still saved the day. The end," the man insisted, his ego bolstered by the sweet girl happily squishing his chunky arm. It should've been illegal to look that hot...
"It sounds like Henry, Charlotte, (y/n), and the Thunderman kids did most of the saving," Chapa argued, much to her teacher's annoyance. It was her fault that she was brutally honest, but she had a lot to learn about managing the man-child's ego.
"It sounds like you don't know what the end means."
"Raymond...Stop being mean," (y/n) told her husband sternly, ceasing fondling his muscles to thwack his arm. Ray pouted and sniffled, giving her those infamous puppy-dog eyes because he didn't like being on her bad side, even though he knew not to sink to the children's level.
She kept saying he had to be mature - a role model - but it was so damn difficult when the little ones kept sassing him.
"But sweet girl..."
"No buts!" The woman scolded him, sternly sticking her pointer finger under his nose to show that she meant business. Her glare worked, and he looked remorseful, but it was a mistake to use her left hand - the one that brought her pretty rings into the man's eyesight. Once the diamonds caught his attention, Ray melted, nudging his head forward to kiss her fingertip despite the telling-off.
How was she supposed to stay mad when he did cute things like that?
"We saved you, doofus. Don't you remember the helicopter ride after? God, I wanted to kiss you so bad..." she sighed dreamily as the pupils - save for Mika - wrinkled their noses. The girl thought their love was rather sweet, and she was a huge shipper, hoping to hear more about how their love came to be if her companions didn't chunk up the walls.
Ray grinned and nodded, knowing that during that flight, after all the fighting was done, he felt the same way. With his sweet girl strapped to his chest, he remembered wanting to confess everything he'd ever felt and more, stealing chastely affectionate kisses and soft touches where he could. Still, they stayed silent, enjoying the closeness while it lasted. Look at them now...
But the memory didn't last. As the lovers embraced, pressing every point of their bodies together and nuzzling into warm crannies, Ray's phone began to ring, harshly vibrating against (y/n) 's thigh through her doofus' pocket.
"Wazzzzzup?!" He answered obnoxiously, and instantly, (y/n) knew who'd phoned. It was Schwoz; he and Ray loved doing that stupid, nostalgic greeting, sticking their tongues out and everything just to be authentic. But she knew that if the genius was calling, it had to be crime-related; otherwise, he would've just come downstairs.
"Someone's trying to drill a hole into Swellview Prison so their grandpa can escape!" Schwoz told his boss as he fiddled with some doohickey invention on the table. He knew it had to be kept secret, lowering his voice as Ray's jovial mood turned serious.
"On it!" The man nodded, and again, his wife took a moment to admire how effortlessly handsome he was. They'd be heading out again in three seconds. The action would be too fast-paced to admire him truly, so she stared longingly at the shirt, committing every garish pattern and how they hid his abs to memory.
He quickly hung up and gave her a sneaky glance, darting his eyes toward the door as a hint that they needed to leave. (y/n) didn't need to be told twice; she grabbed his hand and swiftly headed for the door, but they wouldn't get away easily.
"Who was that?" Mika asked, jumping into their path with surprising speed so she could interrogate them. The adults gulped as Ray backed up into his sweet girl when the girl spooked him, and honestly, it was pretty scary, given the girl's questioning scowl.
Even though they hadn't let on, the kids were highly suspicious, figuring out the previous night that the couple were lying about the crime drought. She wanted to see them squirm, hear their excuse this time, and scrutinise their every twitch as she wormed the truth out.
"Uh..." he thought for a second, eyes flickering to the left as he stalled, trying to desperately think of a liar good enough to dupe the smart one.
"My hairdresser! I'm late for my appointment--at the haircut store..." Ray stuttered, going from disaster to disaster as his words jumbled up to form nonsense.
What was a haircut store? Did he mean salon? It made (y/n) sigh and rub her face, seeing how Mika scoffed and blocked his way every time the hero tried to side-step her. Yeah, no one bought that...
"You gettin' some frosted tips? Blond highlights are very in right now," Bose said with an adorably innocent smile. However, he should've realised that that was a ridiculously youthful style for a man pushing forty and noticed that the man was lying through his teeth.
"Yeah, sure. I'm getting frosted tips...Now move." Ray nodded quickly, even though he wasn't entirely sure what they were. Still, he didn't care as long as Mika moved out of the way, throwing a pencil across the room as a distraction. It worked; when the girl's focus followed the flying object, the hero moved, tugging his sweet girl behind him as they dashed for the door.
"I think you're lying!" Yet they still couldn't escape. Before (y/n) could grasp the gold, gilded doorknob, Miles' voice called after them, accusing them of such a heinous thing--though it was true. He didn't even need to turn his head to know that the couple wouldn't stand for that, pausing in the doorway as he smirked smugly - he had them.
The heroes turned slowly, wearing expressions, to see the kids staring back, having spun their chairs around to judge them. It was like standing in front of the damn Inquisition, and the heroine gulped, her stomach twisting into knots when she saw their disappointed little faces...
"Beg your pardon?" She asked nervously, wringing her sweaty hands together as she tried to appear normal. It wasn't working.
"I said, I think you and your husband are lying! Do you normally go with him when he gets a haircut?" Miles repeated, violently standing from his chair before swaggering over to the couple to hear their excuse. His question was fair, and (y/n) didn't blame him for being so harsh - she loved his floppy locks, but Ray wasn't a baby.
"I value her opinion," her doofus said defensively, putting his arm around her shoulders when he saw how flustered she was. He fiercely protected her, practically snarling at the boy, not that it dissuaded him.
"I don't think you're going to the haircut store at all. I think you're going to fight crime without us!" Miles snapped, boldly standing up against the man, even as he used his famous Captain Man glare. At least Miss Danger had the decency to look ashamed, staring at her shoes and leaning into his side to try and burrow away.
"Why would we go and fight crime without you guys? We respect all of your abilities. Equally..." Ray asked quietly, his sarcastic tone aggravating the situation further.
"That's not helpful!" (y/n) hissed as her doofus tried to leave, yanking the door open as her cheeks burned with humiliation. He wasn't good under pressure, and not when people were picking on him, so he wanted to get out ASAP, not that they'd let him. Still, she didn't see how his snarky comments would help them, not when they deepened their frowns and huddled closer - almost like they were about to attack.
"Then, I look forward to seeing your blonde highlights when you get back...From the haircut store! He'll look so sweet, right, (y/n/n)?" Chapa smiled sourly, her arms folded tightly across her chest as Ray gulped and looked at his sweet girl for help.
"Like candy..." The heroine nodded awkwardly, knowing she wouldn't let any stylist near her doofus' floppy locks, not for something as hideous as frosted tips. Yet, they couldn't look like liars, either, cogs turning as they headed to leave again, wondering how they'd dye the man's hair without ruining it.
"They'll probably be more subtle...like a strawberry blonde," Ray noted, momentarily turning back to poke his head through the door - anything to try and save himself.
"Yeah. Can't wait."
"--Or a burnt caramel, kind of a tawny colour, something tasteful. You guys probably won't even notice!" He rambled before (y/n) yanked him onto the porch, slamming the door shut behind him. He just made it worse and worse, spiralling further into the lie until he was cringing and crawling around his home like a common thief.
She didn't want to know what the kids would get up to as they sprinted to their battle stations, hurrying to get to the jailhouse before something awful happened. Something told her that they wouldn't drop the issue, her tummy crying that something would go wrong in one way or another.
"Can't we just tell them, Raymond? I'm sick of all this lying!" She said as they stumbled into a dense, bushy area, looking for cover while removing their gum tubes.
"What? You don't think I'd look good with snowy tips?" The hero asked jokingly, running his fingers through his unstyled, quaffed hair, pushing back the silky hair as she admired how handsome he was. He looked good with anything, but that didn't mean he had to change; no, she loved the adorable idiot she fell in love with...
"Frosted tips, doofus, and no, I don't. I like your hair the way it is."
"Aw... Do I look...pretty?" Ray giggled, loving to hear her laugh when he tossed his head back like a model from a shampoo advert, hair flicking every which way.
"So very pretty," (y/n) nodded, forgetting her job and gum for a moment as she wound her arms around her doofus' neck and pulled him down for a short but sweet kiss. He hummed against her lips, loping his hand around to lay in the small of her back, pressing their bodies together closely as the other tilted her chin further upwards.
"Nothing compared to you, sweet girl. You're beautiful..." the man whispered when they gently broke apart, satisfied and smiling like idiots. Her cheeks and ears burned at his words, but Ray looked so genuine, looking at his wife like no one else - he never looked so softly at any other woman in all his life. She was so gorgeous it actually hurt.
"Come on, smooth operator. We need to get going," she cleared her throat, feeling like a goddess under his gaze. Still, unfortunately, that wouldn't stop the criminals from jailbreaking. She remembered they had a job to do and wiggled out of his arms, pecking his cheek one final time before rolling a gumball free.
But Ray wasn't one to be defeated, blatantly leaning back on his heels to trail his gaze down her body, eyes lingering on the soft, squishy curve of her ass. Looking back at her pretty face, he grinned cheekily, thinking that a runaway criminal wouldn't be too tricky. Once they had locked him up and thrown away the key, they'd quickly return to the Man's Nest. A needy guy like him, a beautiful girl like him...they could make magic together.
"Hey, how about an early night tonight?"
"Come on, Ray!" At least she didn't say no.
~Swellview Prison~
Outside the concrete maze that was the city's largest prison, home to all manner of scum, shit was going down.
From the worst of society to the pettiest of pilferers, Swellview Prison housed every criminal Captain Man and his sidekicks had ever encountered - plus a few extras that the police somehow managed to catch. Still, what could go in could also come out, or at least that was the thinking of a budding young villain - a small, ginger child, who, with his crew, was lasering the thick stone walls to try and get to the other side.
He thought he was so slick, standing back as his minions used some evil doohickey to chisel chip after chip away from the wall. Soon, they'd make it through to the opposite cell, and their prison break would be complete. That is if two superheroes didn't have something to say about it...
"All right, ya jerks. Time to kill that drill!" Captain Man barked forcefully as he sauntered up to the rotten crew, Miss Danger by his side with a severe and intimidating expression - or as intimidating as she could get next to the hulking, grouchy man. God, she loved it when he was in hero mode.
However, despite his commands, the criminals didn't even bat an eye, carrying on with their misdeeds without a care in the world. It didn't take much for (y/n) to realise that the whirring of their machine, pummelled concrete, and the noise-cancelling headphones on their heads meant they couldn't hear anything, including them.
"Uh, doofus...I don't think they can hear us."
"Hang on, darlin'..." Ray sniffed, clearing his throat when he saw that she was right. He wasn't one for false starts, but no matter. He readjusted his stance and pointed a stern finger at the little boy.
"Put your hands in the air like you just do care--about the law! Brah!"
"Wow, way to tell them, Captain," (y/n) retorted sarcastically, watching as her doofus tried to be all high and mighty, bellowing his orders, just to be ignored. For a man like him to be humiliated and disregarded, especially in front of his sweet girl, was too much, and the hero clenched his fists and growled in frustration.
"All right, that's it--hey!" he snapped, tired of their ignorance, so he stormed over and waved his hands, shouting, ranting and raving like a madman.
Miss Danger stayed back with her hands on her hips, smiling in satisfaction when she watched her husband spook the trio, their faces contorting in shock and fear because Captain Man was glaring at them. They shrugged the ear mufflers off, staring at the hero and his hot sidekick with baffled faces, mouths open and eyes wide but full of hate.
"Captain Man?! Miss Danger!" The boy, named Crank, gasped in awe of the heroes as they glared at him, which he quickly returned. He came from a long line of lowlifes and crooks, so thievery and devilry ran in his blood, as did a deep hatred of stupid, interfering do-gooders.
"Hey, ginger nuts. You look busy over here..." (y/n) said dryly, observing how they'd tunnelled through to get inside, although they weren't exactly subtle about it.
"Yeah! I'm over here dropping dope rhymes in front of my incredibly hot wife, but none of you poops are even paying attention," Ray hissed, going toe-to-toe with Crank as the kid wrinkled his freckled nose, disgusted by both the man's youthful words and how disgustingly in love he was.
"Well, sorry, but we were trying to break my grandpa out of jail," Crank explained. He looked strangely sweet and innocent despite his thuggish attire of chain necklaces and a striped t-shirt. The couple almost felt sorry for him, wondering if this was just a misguided child trying to see his beloved relative again - doing evil for the right reasons.
"Aw...I bet you love him," (y/n) cooed, bending down, hand on her knees, to meet his eye as her doofus placed a warm hand on her back, almost moved by those big, sad eyes.
"He owes me money! Gonna break his legs..." But their adoration was misplaced. The boy's cute face scrunched into a scowl, his gaze turning as hard and mean as a lifelong hard-nut - similar to the snarls they'd
It shocked the heroes, leaning away from the little shit and how evil he seemed. He wanted something cold and callous from his dear old grandpa, even threatening him with violence. That was the last time (y/n) would empathise with him, shocked by his coarse behaviour and cruel personality - not childlike.
"Well, I'm afraid we can't let you do either of those things, carrot top," she said firmly, giving him one of her disapproving, motherly glares, hoping he'd feel some guilt. But that was hard when the miniature villain was egged on by her silly doofus.
"But...just out of curiosity, how much does he owe you? Because, y'know, for a reasonable collection fee, I could just go in there and--" Ray whispered, clicking his tongue and giving Crank a nudge-nudge, wink-wink side-eye as his sweet girl stared at him in disbelief.
She couldn't believe her ears, blinking hard three times to ensure she hadn't misheard him. Sometimes, Ray had some questionable ideas, and she hoped he had enough common sense to know she'd kill him if he ever conspired with criminals. A glare from her was enough to make him shrink back, instantly regretting his choices since Miss Danger would never stoop so low, and she certainly didn't expect Captain Man to, either.
"Captain Man!" She exclaimed, horrified. Ray pouted when she roughly elbowed his ribs, knowing it was stupid to say, but he'd never actually go through with it. Still, he hated the idea of disappointing her, staring at his feet when his angel gave him a stern talking-to.
"You will keep your butt right there, and if I find out you've been doing favours for criminals, I swear to God, I'll--" She never got to finish her rant.
Mid-fury, a loud whoosh filled the clearing, interrupting Ray's telling-off because she swore she knew that noise. Her face fell, taken by a pensive, confused expression since that sounded much like when Miles teleported. But that was impossible because the children had been left safely in the Man's Nest.
Or, at least, the couple thought that until they turned around, expecting to see a noisy squirrel or pigeon, not those meddling kids.
They made such a racket, landing in the thick bushes, thanks to Miles and his inability to control where he teleported, and the dense branches meant moving around was nigh-on impossible. Shouting and struggling to get free, they complained about his poor aim and how their impromptu appearance wasn't such a good idea - (y/n) could attest to that.
"Excuse us for a minute," the heroine said to Crank with a fake brilliant smile, holding a finger up as Ray took her hand and swiftly guided her to where Danger Force was making a scene.
"Hey! What are you doing here?!" The man exclaimed, shouting above their rowdiness, and the quartet fell silent. He couldn't believe it, seeing them in their multicoloured uniforms and knowing they'd deliberately disobeyed orders, even though he hadn't helped with his lies. It was embarrassing to be caught short in front of criminals...
"What are you doing here?!" Mika fired back, trying to mimic Miss Danger's disappointed face since they'd been caught red-handed amid their fib, yet they showed no shame. But honestly, it was no time for arguing, not when they were in a perilous, very delicate situation that the children were hideously unprepared for.
"Fighting crime!" (y/n) answered bravely, knowing they couldn't lie anymore, but she was angry that they'd followed them to the prison. It was almost cute how they thought crimefighting was glamorous and exciting, ignorant of the horrors and hardship until they were over their heads.
"That's funny. I thought you and your husband were at the haircut store getting frosted tips!" Chapa spat back, not realising the danger they'd put themselves in, given how woefully inadequate their powers were.
"Yeah, well, my wife decided it looked fine the way it was. She thinks I look pretty!"
"Ew..." The boys and Chapa wrinkled their noses, not missing how the couple swapped an adoring look, holding hands even tighter despite their irritation. Their love was sickening, but at least they helped them out of the bushes, pulling back the foliage so each kid could wriggle free.
"If it's okay with you, I'm gonna go back to breaking my grandpa out of prison," Crank called to the heroes, not wanting to be associated with any of their drama. He wasn't one for insubordination in the ranks. Still, he guessed that if they were busy arguing, he could get the old man out and his money before those idiots knew what was happening.
"No!"
"Yeah, no!" Mika shouted, countering the adamant adults as they tried to rein in Crank, hopefully trying to manage both situations before they got out of hand. But, like all preteens, the kids thought they knew better - so much better than Ray and (y/n), who'd been fighting crime for years - and had collectively decided they'd prove them wrong.
They were superheroes, powers and all. They could fight and win, and then, they'd be laughing at the mighty Captain Man and Miss Danger for ever doubting them. That would be so damn satisfying, even though they didn't see what could go wrong.
"'Cause we're gonna stop you!
"Uh, we're gonna stop them because we're the superheroes," Ray argued, gesturing to himself and his sweet girl as she folded her arms, utterly unimpressed by their behaviour. She liked the enthusiasm but, like her doofus, preferred to see it in their lessons, not with so much at stake.
"Yeah, the superheroes who've been lying to us for a week!"
"There hasn't been a crime drought!" The Macklin twins replied harshly, glaring at their teachers like they had no argument to stand on. They didn't understand that they lied with the best intentions, hoping to spare them from defeat and humiliation because their superpowers didn't mean instant glory. They had to be mastered - carefully, slowly, painstakingly so.
"You've just been telling us that so you two can fight crimes by yourselves!" Chapa growled equally as angry, which only frustrated the couple. It was a mess.
"Yeah, you bet we've been lying to you! Tell them, sweet girl!" Captain Man snapped back, head snapping to (y/n), who didn't like to lead the argument.
Still, for once, she was ready to support her doofus fully, not shying away from confrontation because she cared for them. She indeed did, and she'd never forgive herself if she allowed the kids to go into battle willy-nilly just to get themselves hurt, kidnapped, or worse - killed. Sighing, she sniffed and looked at all of them, looking more concerned than irate because they didn't grasp the situation - they didn't have a clue.
"Sorry, guys, but I agree with Captain Man," she sighed again before looking across the group, flaws and weaknesses popping into her head as she did.
"Miles, Chapa--you guys can't control your powers. Mika, you don't even have one yet! And Bose...well, need I say more? He wears shirts for pants!"
"They're called shants!" Bose said happily, thinking his creation was brilliantly inventive, but it proved the woman's point. The team was either uncoordinated or useless, meaning they'd be a dangerous liability in the field and not something Captain Man wanted loose in the city. So, as much as they didn't like it, they weren't ready, no matter how much enthusiasm they had.
"Face it...None of you are ready to be superheroes," Ray said gravely, hating to crush their spirit, but it was true. Their faces fell, rage mixing with despair because they thought they could do it and prove him wrong... It was soul-destroying.
"It's true...It's just too dangerous," (y/n) nodded solemnly, but Mika didn't leave it there. Looking up with a defiant glint, she slowly stepped toward the couple, knowing deep down they had more to give. Despite the adults ' counsel, she believed in herself and her friends, thinking the power of friendship and all that bullshit would triumph over evil.
"You're right. I don't have a superpower--I might not ever get one. But you know what?" she started, staring firmly at the heroine as she stared back, both thinking they were correct.
"Being a superhero isn't about having a superpower. It's about what's inside of you. It's about what's in here!"
"Our skeletons!" Bose nodded, even though it wasn't particularly helpful. Still, all that mystical shit made the heroes gag, knowing that real life--hero life--didn't work like that.
"Oh, good God--" (y/n) muttered as she tried not to roll her eyes. Again, she liked her enthusiasm, agreeing that superheroes needed a lot of that mushy stuff - hope, spirit, optimism, bravery - but practical skills were essential, like a basic grasp on power.
"I know I've got what it takes to be a superhero. And I know they do, too," the girl said wistfully, gesturing to her band of merry friends, who were just as ready to kick some ass, feeling their team's bond even after just a few of working together.
"We're not saying you don't have what it takes. I don't want to see you all pulverised because you aren't trained!" Miss Danger hissed, rubbing her tired eyes when the girl smiled up at her hopefully, praying her little speech had tugged on her heartstrings.
However, if anything, her warning made Mika and the others more determined, gritting their teeth when Ray nudged her arm. Looking up, (y/n) gulped when she saw Crank's goons cracking their knuckles and sneering, clearly ready for a fight that the kids weren't prepared for. They could barely throw a punch, making her all the more nervous to see them on the battlefield.
"Hey, come on, sweet girl..." Ray sighed, to her surprise. He took her hand and guided his wife to the sidelines, moving past the child team so the floor was theirs. It was their move, and despite his better instincts, he knew they'd never learn until they gauged their powers.
"Okay, show us how ready you are."
"Really?" (y/n) quirked an eyebrow, looking back at her doofus as he frowned and shrugged. He didn't need her to tell him it was a bad idea, but they seemed so happy--grinning after finally gaining his permission.
"Okay, fine! Come on then, Danger Force! Take it away! Show us the extent of your power--may the power of friendship protect you, rainbows, ponies, whatever..."
"Let's do this..." Mika breathed deeply before looking at her friends, their excited smiles falling into sober countenances, void of everything but concentration. This moment was three weeks in the making, and they wanted it to go perfectly, given that the city's greatest heroes would scrutinise their every move.
Honestly, they looked pretty cool as they walked toward the villains in a line. Like something from a movie or TV show, time seemingly slowed down as they readied their attacks, clenching fists, storing electricity, squeezing glutes, and stalking toward the snarling crooks, who cockily stepped up to teach them a lesson - one that Captain Man and Miss Danger hadn't quite reached yet.
Falling back on their little training, Mika and Miles took the flanks, waiting for a physical attack. At the same time, Chapa and Bose waited with their powers on standby, knowing it was wise to wait for a minute to see who would make the first move. Ray and (y/n) looked at each other nervously, the latter's tummy tingle telling her something wasn't right.
"Doofus, I'm nervous..." she whispered, clutching at his beefy arm as Ray gulped, knowing how she felt.
"It'll be fine, darlin'. Completely fine..." the hero replied, squeezing her hand as she held a hand over her eyes, peeking through her fingers. She didn't want to watch but had to, worried sick despite his reassuring words. Surely, it can't be that bad, her doofus swore, but he what he didn't know...
"I haven't learned to aim yet..." Chapa whispered to her friends, feeling the electricity surging through her veins, ready to explode, but her aim was terrible. Genuinely awful. It was all right having so much power - arguably the strongest of the four - but if it didn't hit her enemies, what was the point?
Still, her friends believed in her, muttering words of encouragement ranging from self-belief to learning on the spot, so she went for it. She had no choice, clenching her jaw and firing, sending bolts of scarlet energy across the battlefield...and into Captain Man. Who then tripped into Miss Danger. Who face-planted the floor. And then, he went flying. Straight onto the prison roof.
This was why they said they weren't ready.
"Doofus!" (y/n) cried, watching in horror when she came to her senses to see her husband flying through the night sky. He collided with a security gate before falling into the prison courtyard, and she prayed there were no late-night frolickers in there. They'd tear the man who put them inside limb from limb.
"You guys! You attacked the wrong person!" She shrieked, turning to look at the bashful children with an alarmed face as the goons cackled, loving how they'd taken care of the hero for them. Now, they just needed to take care of Miss Danger, and without her watchdog of a lover around, that would be easy. And the kids? They were laughable, easy pickings.
"Bose! How could you?!" Chapa gasped falsely, placing all the blame on the oblivious kid as he stood there as vacant as usual. It really didn't help (y/n)'s mood or situation since they were now down their strongest super.
"I don't care whose fault it was. Someone go and get my husband!"
"Get in there and bring back Captain Man," Mika said to her brother, seeing the heroine's distress since those two were inseparable - the one thing she'd learned after three weeks in school. And she wasn't dumb enough to think they were better off without him.
"Copy that--" Miles nodded before throwing his arm into the air, disappearing in a flash of golden light. Whether he'd successfully teleport to the hero and bring him back in one piece was different, but (y/n) was grateful that the boy tried.
"Get 'em!" Crank bellowed to his lackeys, spooking the three remaining kids, even as Miss Danger immediately adjusted her stance to protectively stand in front of them.
Those men were huge, hairy, and undoubtedly exceeded her strength. Usually, she relied on her lover to dish out the raw brute force. Simultaneously, she found gaps in the fight to use her agility and swiftness to exploit an enemy's weakness. Still, she hoped that if the kids could distract them - safely - she might be able to subdue them until Miles returned with Ray.
"Okay, stay behind me. I'll keep you guys safe," (y/n) told the kids, her fists drawn up as she prepared to take the men on, hoping she could keep all three safe while fighting two men.
However, things didn't play out the way she hoped. The goons charged first, running toward her with their teeth bared and fists ready to pummel her face, and whilst she was prepared to fight, the kids didn't listen. Contrary to her instructions, they released a battle cry before running past her and into the fray - the last line of defence. This could only go wrong...
They met in the middle as (y/n) floundered, baffled by the sudden commotion. Chapa immediately went for a lightning strike, summoning and ejecting her electricity with the hope that she'd hit Crank. Yet, her aim was as terrible as usual.
Instead of zapping the criminal kid, she shot his device, the one lasering through the prison wall, causing the bolt to rebound and hit her in the chest. She flew backwards at a tremendous speed, hitting Miss Danger and sending them into the dense bushes lining the walkway. Instantly, their limbs were tangled in the branches, rendering them useless as the men grabbed Mika and Bose.
"Chapa! You really need to work on your aim!"
"Dangit! I know!" The girl hissed, fighting against the woman as they stood back-to-back, wrapped in vines and God knows what else, so they could barely move. Maybe it would've been wise to listen to the heroine and her husband, but it was too late to think like that.
As they clawed to get free, Mika and Bose struggled with the goons, suddenly realising that stuff like superhero qualities, hope, optimism, and all that mushy stuff wouldn't help them against two hulking lugs like them. They were children--no match for them as they twisted their arms around their backs and kicked the backs of their legs, tossing them around like rag dolls.
It got even better when Miles returned--just not how (y/n) hoped. The boy teleported the hero out of the prison but didn't quite make it outside; instead, they materialised halfway through the wall, creating a large gaping hole with the hero wedged in between the concrete and his protégé - basically useless.
"Hey! Heyyy!" Ray groaned as he hung from the wall, barely able to lift his head from the awkward position.
"Captain Man?" (y/n) asked breathlessly, looking up in horror to see her doofus stuck in a wall with Miles pinned behind him. Oh God, it broke her heart to see him like that, above the fight and seeing the kids in danger, yet unable to help. She knew how he felt...
"We're up here, sweet girl!" The hero called out to her, barely able to see that she and Chapa were stuck in the bushes, and it made his heart clench in worry, frustration and anger. He should've just taken out the bad guys when he had the chance - his wife wouldn't be in danger then - but the kids had been so sure - a mistake to believe them now he reflected on it.
"Bose, what are you doing?" Chapa asked as the boy tried to use his telekinesis to lift Crank's machine - intentionally or not, they couldn't figure out since he was being pulled apart by a thug.
"Will you guys get down here?" Shockingly, even the ginger kid wanted Captain Man on the scene, thinking things were getting a little out of hand with the man's freaky, uncontrollable sidekicks and how they could make things float. But that was wishful thinking, given how Miles' arms were pinned, rendering his power useless since he couldn't teleport without them.
"We can't!"
"What happened?" Mika asked frantically, distracted by the lackey wrestling with her to see her brother and boss.
She, too, was now beginning to realise that her plan wasn't very well thought out after throwing a few punches just to weakly tap the guy's stomach. It made her knuckles ache and her skin bruise, making her wonder how Captain Man and Miss Danger did it so quickly, not knowing that practice took the pain away - something they sorely needed.
"We got stuck in a wall on the way back!" Miles groaned, feeling highly uncomfortable as every inch of his body pressed against Ray--not something he'd ever wanted. He'd leave that to (y/n).
"That can happen?!" His sister gasped, knowing he'd been transported to many different countries and biomes, but appearing in a wall was new. She was glad they weren't hurt - half in the wall with their gizzards mushed around wasn't a good look.
"I have just learned that it can!" The boy replied dryly, not knowing what else she wanted him to say. He'd had his powers for a few weeks; there was much to learn.
As they were chatting, Bose's concentration increased - not something that happened regularly for the lad. He wasn't used to so much brainpower. He rapidly fatigued as he raised the laser above the man holding him, aiming to bash him on the head or some such attack.
However, the kid wasn't one for strategy; not seeing how a hefty object crashing down so close to him was a bad idea until it was too late. The device crashed into the goon and Bose, sending them both to the ground in an aching, groaning pile.
"I thought that would work..." he whined, lifting his face from the dirt as the machine lay useless, but the henchman still stayed on top of him. His entire lower half was pinned down, and lifting the heavy tripod had depleted his energy, leaving Bose wishing he'd practised lifting pencils and cotton wool more like Miss Danger had recommended.
"You see? Not--ready!" Ray growled, thinking he'd thoroughly proved his and (y/n)'s point, even if it was no time for gloating.
Yet no one could deny it, not when he had a bird's eye view of the battlefield, seeing how Chapa had rendered Miss Danger and herself trapped, Bose had KO'd himself, and Miles had screwed him over, which left just Mika. Poor, sorry old Mika, left with no powers, training, and nowhere to go since one of Crank's henchmen had her subdued.
"I agree. Face it, kids, this whole thing was a disaster--you aren't ready!" (y/n) agreed, fighting against the vines wrapped tightly around her torso and forearms to no avail. She hated to be a downer, but she saw no way out of this, thinking they were well and truly screwed because they weren't good listeners.
All that hope and wonder crap didn't happen in the real world, but Mika still believed. Hearing her heroes so disappointed and defeatist angered the resilience in her, and despite how bleak everything was, she still had some fight left. She wasn't sure what fight it was, given her physical prowess was shit, but their lack of trust in her--in the team--made her want to yell--to scream--to shout out.
"Yes--we--ARE!" She bellowed, feeling a power surge through her, and (y/n) had to blink to ensure her eyes weren't playing tricks.
A brilliant silver glow surrounded the girl, reminding the heroine of the night when she gained her tummy tingle - the glow of the Omega Weapon's energy. She struggled against her captor, feeling stronger than ever as she roared, her voice louder than a jet engine as her voice box beamed sonic waves toward the prison wall.
Mika Macklin had found her superpower, breaking down the wall with her almighty scream - so potent it could break through concrete. It was brilliant, making her teachers and friends gawp and gasp, utterly shocked at her ability and its uncanny knack for appearing at such a dismal moment.
"Holy shit..." (y/n) breathed under her breath, watching rubble fly through the air, making Crank and his goons avoid debris.
She was in awe of the girl's superpower, knowing that she must've had one deep down, but she'd never have guessed it would be so...loud. Her ears were ringing, but she ignored the slight pain, more focused on the gaping hole the girl had made in a solid three-foot-wide wall of concrete. And it just had to be in the most dangerous building in Swellview.
"You guys, I have a superpower!" Mika squealed, feeling her throat relax again as a beaming smile grew on her face, her every nerve on fire with delight when she realised she'd done that. That big hole? Mika Macklin did that.
"It's about time!"
"Time reveals all things."
"You can fly?!" Came the ecstatic congratulations of her friends, although Bose was a little confused. He had the energy, though, as happy for his friend as the others were, and it inspired her with new determination. She was gonna win this fight.
Referring back to her minimal training, Mika struggled against the goon's grip, trying to free her shoulders, even as his hands tightened painfully on her upper arms. She couldn't regain that vibration no matter how much she growled or barked. With no superpower, it was easy for the henchman to drag her to the bushes, where he wasted no time tangling her in the foliage.
He wasn't stupid, seeing his chance to secure the scene as someone emerged from the hole. It was a wrinkled, doddery and clumsy old man who carefully stepped out onto the rubble and into the free world, still wearing his garishly orange prison uniform.
"Pop-pop?" Crank asked hopefully, his voice returning to the same innocent, childlike wonder he'd used to fool Captain Man and Miss Danger. Still, his grandfather didn't see anything wrong. Instead, he seemed happy to see him, opening his arms to invite him into a warm, familiar hug, even if it smelled like cabbage and boiled sweets.
"Crank, my boy!"
"You owe me money!" The ginge screamed, his face melting into a furious sneer that had his grandpa shaking in his Long Johns. He fled into his cell again, preferring the harshness of serving time to facing the menace that was his own flesh and blood, leaving the heroes stuck outside.
The goons fled, too, seeing as their boss was well on his way to enacting his revenge, which wasn't too bad. The gang was stuck, but at least they weren't fighting anymore, giving (y/n) and Ray some time to think of a strategy - some way to escape danger before some other tragedy happened.
"Well, well, well..." Or not.
"I know those wells..." (y/n) gulped, not needing to be a genius to know that whiny, high-pitched voice. She prayed it was a bad dream, thinking the night couldn't get any worse, but it could. It definitely could.
Like one of their most sinister terrors, the couple watched with aghast faces as The Toddler poked his ugly mug through the hole after hearing the commotion from his cell down the hall. He knew a jailbreak when he saw one, feeling the need to explore when he saw Gangster Grandpa running away from some ginger kid.
The heroes froze, especially the kids, sensing they weren't dealing with petty criminals any more - this was the big leagues.
"What's going on out here?" The villain asked smarmily, stepping through the hole in his orange baby onesie and cap.
"Toddler! Get back in your crib!" Captain Man ordered, disregarding the pain in his shoulders as he tried to get free, scraping his skin against the broken stone. This was a nightmare of epic proportions; he, Kid Danger, and his sweet girl had spent months - years, even - putting every big name in Swellview behind bars, cleaning up the streets until most of their enemies faced justice.
But the kids had undone it in one fell swoop. He had to be dreaming.
"No!" The Toddler snapped, glad to see Captain Man was in a particularly sticky situation and his little wife or whatever was disengaged too. He'd heard about their union or whatever. It made him want to vomit, but nothing was sweeter than knowing the ones who'd put him in jail would watch helplessly as he and all the other prisoners busted out. That would be his wedding gift to them.
"Come on, everybody! We're free again!"
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no---" Ray practically sobbed as he watched the man-baby run off into the night, skipping with joy since there were no silly superheroes around to stop him. And it didn't stop there.
With the alarm raised, every other villain in the prison bolted for freedom, making the couple thump their fists in frustration as the floodgates of scum opened. And all the kids could do was watch in shame, knowing that while they'd come with good intentions, this was ultimately their fault.
"Oh, sweet cheese--not him!" (y/n) groaned as she saw a familiarly glitzy face poke around the corner, dolled up and preened to look like a bejewelled peacock. The villain who irked her the most - Frankini.
"Yay!" He cheered, doing some ballet jumps and lunges.
After checking the coast was clear, he dramatically twirled into the courtyard, loving the smell of the open world as he danced in his heels. She wasn't sure if his outfit was classed as prison attire, featuring a goddamn turban, stripy leggings, and plenty of bling, but she didn't care. He still looked like an over-groomed poodle, which made her heart ache to know he would cause more mischief now he was loose.
"Frankini! Wait for me!" The lumbering nugget Goomer called after him, traipsing like a lost puppy since he didn't have enough brain cells for independent thought.
"I can't bee-lieve my luck!" Oh, goodie, Ray thought as The Beekeeper appeared, still as creepy as ever as he snuck through the hole in his protective orange suit. Close behind him was Doctor Minyak, his lanky frame barely fitting through the frame. Still, he made it, looking at his surroundings in shock because it had been a while since Captain Man put him in jail.
"I still have hope for a win!" He shouted boldly in his fancy accent, thinking that this was a sign; it was his chance to finally beat the superheroes after so many years of defeat, and he disappeared into the night before he had his collar felt.
"Oh, God..." (y/n) sighed when the next prisoner filtered through, and this one genuinely irritated her. She could perhaps deal with the others - they gave a genuine, worthwhile fight - but this guy was a moron. The dumbest criminal in Swellview. The one person she and Ray hated dealing with because he was so simple - mentally and physically. Jeff Bilsky.
"My life has purpose again! Yeah!" He exclaimed as he plodded into the spotlight, looking as stupid and dirty as ever in his ancient baseball cap and unwashed uniform. The heroes felt their souls break as they watched him flee, knowing they'd get many more calls once he returned to his life of petty crime.
"Time to go!" The Timejerker giggled as he followed Jeff, but not before he got another ridiculous, time-related pun in. God, those were annoying, even for the children, who tugged against their restraints and growled - it wasn't any easier for them.
The flow of villains petered off, but that didn't make it any better. All the criminals Ray cared about - The Toddler, Minyak, stupid Jeff - had made their escapes and were probably dozens of blocks away by now, returning to their hideouts and nooks to plot a million more evil ideas for him to sort out. Perhaps a few more would realise the prison was no longer secure.
Still, they hardly compared to actual supervillains - the real thorns in Captain Man and Miss Danger's sides, so it was a big well done for Danger Force. They'd really blown things out of the water--the first heroic team to bust bad guys out of jail rather than put them in there. Honestly, they deserved a trophy.
"You happy?" Ray asked tiredly, mainly looking at Mika since she was the ringleader, but he was disappointed in all of them. He didn't even want to think how long it would take to mop up their mess.
"Yeah! I got a superpower!" But the girl didn't seem bothered. She was more content with her newfound ability than she and her friends had single-handedly caused the worst crime spike in Swellview history, barely even thinking about the consequences of her uncontrollable super-scream.
"You just let every criminal out of Swellview Prison!" (y/n) told her harshly, not even bothering to hide her irritation because it hurt--physically hurt--to see the girl smile. Well, she was glad someone was happy, but she could be the one to run around after the crooks when they wreaked mayhem.
"With my superpower, (y/n/n)!"
"Hey, it's Miss Danger when we're in uniform and another thing--the next time you decide to gatecrash a mission, please don't ignore me when I give you a co--oh, God, what the hell is he wearing?"
(y/n) frowned as she paused Mika's scolding, suddenly distracted when a gaudy flash of glitter and garish colours blinded her poor eyes. Everyone looked at the prison hole in confusion as Frankini dashed through it again, no longer in his uniform but in some kind of dance costume. He looked like some kind of tutti-frutti beanstalk, flicking a ribbon through the air as he twirled across the ground - attention-seeking like always.
"Weeeee!" He squealed before running off again, but it didn't stop there. He marked the start of the second flood, guiding more prisoners toward the exit with his multicoloured leotard and bizarre dance moves.
"I started out as a good guy!" Jack Frittleman cackled as he darted out, a sick grin on his face as he rubbed his palms together. It had been too long since he'd attempted to kill Captain Man and his sidekicks in that escape room, and he was hungry for revenge; taking off into the night as two familiar faces appeared behind him.
"So did we!" (y/n) could barely watch from the shame as The Thumb Buddies did their secret handshake, still hideously deformed after their former heroes left them to die from overexposure to solar radiation.
They seemed in good spirits, but behind their happiness, the heroine saw the madness, feeling deeply uncomfortable as the purple and hairy men jumped and ran, also ready to end the superheroes for ruining their lives. She still had nightmares about those two, wondering if she could've done more to help...
"Hey! I just realised--we ended the crime drought!" Bose exclaimed as the criminals lulled again, giving the group a break from humiliation. Still, it didn't help when the boy reminded everyone of the adults' lies--sounding almost happy like the prison escape was a good thing.
"Now, you have to let us fight crime!" Chapa told Ray and (y/n), knowing they'd need all the help they could get with so many evil people on the streets. Was that slightly sadistic? Maybe, but she didn't care, loving that they'd ultimately gotten their way, albeit with a minor disaster.
"Yeah, you're gonna need our help to capture all these bad guys," Miles agreed, deliberately talking into Ray's ear as he grunted. And he used to complain about Jasper - the kid was a genius compared to this lot.
"We'll probably need, like, a hundred hilarious missions to do it--maybe more!"
"Just when I thought we were done..." (y/n) sighed, knowing her doofus was right. One adventure finished, and another began, meaning her married life wouldn't be boring, which was more than some wives could say.
Was she hoping for a little more relaxation to settle down? Yeah--but what did she expect? Life hadn't been normal since that fateful afternoon in that café.
A figure pulled her from her thoughts, shocking her brain with their bright and tacky outfit as they leapt from the prison like a pink and silver leopard. On closer inspection, she realised it was Frankini - again - who'd run around the building just to filter through again, eager to show off his fashion sense to Miss Danger and her new little friends.
"Are you just going back around and running out over and over again?" Chapa asked as the man shimmied, dancing to the music in his head as the girl tried to work out if she was crazy or just having déjà vu.
"Check--check!" The glamorous villain ignored her, revealing that his outfit came with a microphone--just what he needed since (y/n) couldn't get enough of his stupid voice... He turned to the moody child with a smug smirk, thinking she could use a few fashion tips - probably from his dear friend Miss Danger, whom he couldn't wait to fight and frolic with again.
"Sweetie...I smuggled seventy-five outfits into this prison, and you're going to see every last one of them!" He announced, throwing his head back and grinning as the group gulped. They couldn't think of anything worse.
"Kill me...kill me now..." (y/n) muttered, wishing a lightning bolt would strike her down as Frankini began to dance again, spinning around and around enough to make anyone dizzy despite his bright, white smile.
She meant it, feeling like someone, somewhere, was punishing her for some great misdeed because if the fashion show wasn't enough, watching every other criminal leaving the prison was like a punch to the gut.
Never send a child to do your job, (y/l/n)--I mean, Manchester, she thought to herself, still not used to the change but wondering how they'd get out of this or if she'd live long enough to see outfit seventy-five. She glanced at her doofus, knowing he was thinking the same thing, sending his love through a few small gazes, which was comfort enough.
Their old lives were over; a new one had started, and God, if they weren't exhausted already. It would be an adventure full of peril, tears, and laughter, and who knows how long it would last? The team had a lot of work to do, starting with training a unit fit for battle, but that would keep for another day--another mission.
They didn't know it yet, but it was the beginning of a new family - the family they got to choose. Ray and (y/n) only had to show them the way, and perhaps, they'd find a few changes along the way - their home ever-expanding.
It was all written before them; they just had to keep reading the next chapters...
The future was now. The Danger Force had awakened.
#ray manchester#ray manchester x reader#captain man x reader#dangerverse#reader insert#danger force#x reader#henry danger#fanfiction#chapa de silva#ray manchester smut#ray manchester fanfiction#henry danger smut#miss danger#danger force season 3#kid danger#captain man#captain man smut#miles macklin#mika macklin#bomika#first season#season one#first episode#married life#married pussy#married couple#husband and wife#ray is a simp#queenofbadideas
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Re: homeschooling. There is ALOT of stigma, but I’ve heard the stigma is much higher in the USA than elsewhere, and this is an American site so all polls results are skewed to an American world view. So there’s that, what fears exist there that influence the vote? I’ll try to summarize. I’d be interested in a poll from everyone else. Also the points I’m gonna cover are just what I’ve heard over the years, and over the border as a Canadian myself, who only homeschooled for a few of my years, so it’s not iron clad or anything. Just some possibilities.
The stigmas come from the idea that it’s bad because there are, unfortunately, a lot of people who don’t do it right, or for the right reasons. The main objections are these kids are completely isolated socially, underprepared to function in the real world, and that they won’t get a proper education - either from ignorance or malice, or both. There may also be unconscious bias that the state (not the American sense of the word, but the institutional sense) knows best and how can parents know what to teach? Which probably feeds back into factors I don’t really have the qualifications to talk about but basically boil down to “if you educated them better they won’t be mindless minions for the capitalist/military/prison grind” - the state does not want that, so they purport the idea that it’s bad (yes that borders on conspiracy theory, not saying it’s true, saying I’ve heard this said). Never mind public education is a fairly new concept, historically speaking (and it is a good thing in many ways! Mandatory, free, basic education has eliminated illiteracy in many places for example. The concept started out with worthy goals, etc - have they strayed from them and why? Lack of care or just resources?)
Obviously, all of that is going to vary by who is doing it and why and if they have the time and resources and desire to do it properly.
Socially, you can absolutely create community elsewhere - when my mom was doing it with us, we went to the library every single week and met up with a bunch of other kids and planned social stuff and educational group trips to places like the science centre and the art and history museums. We mixed our book learning with practical skills - one person knew a sewing teacher, one person negotiated a discount for swim lessons, the library offered French lessons among its many other programs. And of course to supplement grade standard education lesson books, like math, spelling, etc, we were ALWAYS taking out books from the library, both fiction and non fiction. So there are absolutely ways to get a rounded education and a social life. I would say even more so now than when the concept was new for me 15-20 years ago.
But on the other hand, there are the horror stories, and success stories don’t circulate half so well. The people who isolate their kids to abuse them, don’t teach them anything, make them do chores all day beyond age appropriate responsibility or physical ability, etc. also the deliberate obfuscation of certain information or topics because of personal ideology, usually religious, because you know. Somehow education equates belief (sarcasm. Example: I learned people used to think the world was flat. Guess what? I don’t believe that).
These are just some random thoughts, feel free say it doesn’t make sense lol. I do believe if that’s what you want to do, and you have the love and time and ability and patience etc, and financial freedom for at least one parent to do it (someone’s gotta work unfortunately), then go for it. But do it right, and find as many resources as you can. Unfortunately there are people who go into it without preparation and for the wrong reasons and I can see why people believe kids need access to third parties somewhere in their lives, and school might as well be it. Like there’s very much merit and drawbacks on both sides. I think there’s kids who could come out from both systems with abysmal skills, and from both with stellar skills, (I’ve met both types), it’s just really gonna boil down to individual circumstances.
This is all really really interesting, thank you for the ask!! I knew some of this stuff but not all of it. And I don't think I knew you were homeschooled at one point, that's so cool!! (Oh and you're never gonna hear judgement about conspiracy theory sounding stuff from me lol)
#additionally i am friends with many homeschoolers and they are some of the smartest people i know#one is helping run a small business that is worth a lot of money#one is in college to become an interpreter#and there are many others!#thanks for the ask!!#homeschooling
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J2 Gold Panel ATLCon 2023
The boys are looking handsome wearing blue, and red 🥰
Jared brings up the Saturday night concert and asks the crowd if it was thumbs up or thumbs down, then he shares a quick story about how when he was in High School the movie, Gladiator, came out and his Latin teacher was pissed off because in the movie the Emperor gives a thumbs up to mean mercy and thumbs down to mean death but according to Jared's teacher realistically it would be the opposite thumbs up for death and thumbs down for mercy because it's supposed to be a representation of the sword.
Out of curiosity, I did look this up and while some kind of hand gesture involving the thumb was used scholars can't say definitively what this looked like because writers at the time didn't really describe it, and if they did we seemingly have yet to find their writings. So there's a lot of scholarly debate as to what these gestures actually looked like and meant in Roman times. The popular idea that thumbs down was involved and meant death is attributed to an 1872 painting by French artist, Jean-Léon Gérôme, called Pollice Verso which depicts a gladiator asking for his life while the crowd gives a thumbs down. And that's your history lesson for today now back to our scheduled programming! 😅
Getting back to the panel, Jared mentions that there were times that were never printed where Dean would do an exorcism and Jensen would fumble on purpose, and Jared knew he did this on purpose and he would tell Jensen so and Jensen's reply would basically be 'yeah, but if I do it good they'll make me do it more, if i make it look like I can't do it they'll have Sam do it'.
And Jensen mentions what he called "his senior moment" which is that during the Saturday night concert he was singing Simple Man, and it's been so long since he sang it that he forgot the lyrics to the last verse. Backstage, prior to singing, he had the feeling this might happen because, again, it's been so long since he's sang it so the lyrics were printed out for him and placed in front of him on the floor but the font was too small for him to see them so when Jason Mann went over to him, he took his glasses and he said it was like the Matrix 😂
Getting into the questions, not gonna lie the first one is a weird one, but does Jensen remember the color of the belt and shoes he was wearing with the blue suit in his Man About Town UK photoshoot? He answers that he doesn’t think he had a belt on which gives us fangirl!Jared saying "easy access"...sir!
Anyways, Jensen thinks they were brown dress shoes. He says that in those photoshoots you walk in and there’s racks of clothing and generally a stylist and an assistant who will ask what you like, and he'll tell them that he doesn't know that they're the professionals so they just had him try stuff on and he wasn't really paying attention also he had like 12 outfit changes that afternoon which makes Jared mutter 'Jesus'. Jensen says that yeah, it was a lot that photoshoots are not their (his and Jared's) favorite thing to do, they're a necessary thing for their industry but he did have fun on that shoot. x
Out of all the famous horror movie villains which would be the hardest for Sam and Dean to face? Jared says it’s a name he can’t say aka Voldemort. Jensen says the easiest would be Michael cause he just stands there, that he's never understood how he catches people like does he get on like a segway. Jared mentions any villain Walking Dead, I wouldn't be too confident in that answer cause Negan but also I don't watch that show but I do know they've made some changes to the Walkers and they can open doors and climb shit now.
Jensen is still trying to figure out who would be the toughest, Jared tells him he'd go Star Wars or Harry Potter but those aren't horror movies. Someone in the crowd yells out Jason to which Jared replies he already beat Jason. The crowd also yells out Freddy Krueger but Jensen thinks Sam and Dean would have figured it out although he would be a tough one. x
Can they share any aspects of strain that their characters experienced that might have thought them something? Jared says that in his 15 and a half years on SPN he learned a lot, that it's hard for him to parse out what he learned with the help of Sam and what he learned with the help of Dean, and what he learned from the help of whomever. What he learned is that he went from being 22 to being 38 but he certainly learned that we are more capable than we understand, than we believe. That he loves stories of ultra marathon runners, or the one he was listening to recently on a podcast of a guy who trecked across Antartica. That those stories really inspire him cause sometimes when you're stressed about something and you go 'there's no way I'll figure this out' there's a little reminder in him to keep at it, and that as much as it is a cliche every thousand mile journey began with a single step. He felt that with Sam, and with Dean, and with the show so no matter how tired he is, no matter how emotionally or physically beat down he feels he just tries to keep on going forward.
Jensen says he'll echo what Jared said just slightly different view point. That both Dean and Sam, as his grandfather would say, when the good Lord made them he forgot to put the quit in them. They don't quit. And he can 100% be sure that Jared also has that in him as well and he feels confident he has some of that as well but it's because now they represent these characters that don't have quit in them that that he thinks drives them in their personal lives a little more than it would have had they never played these characters. x
How are the kids? Jared answers that theirs are good, that they finish school in May. That Shep just did a PSIA which is similar to the mathletes Jared did and he got like 4th on the district so he's a chip of the block, that Odette is still queen of the world as far as she knows, and Tom is kicking ass he's in sports and is doing well, that they're all safe and sound. Jensen says his are currently gallivanting around Europe with D, that they were at a museum today and she told him it was a total disaster. JJ is great, the twins however are 6 and very opinionated and if they don't like something- it reminds him of a story Ryan Gosling told about his little girl about how he took her to the Louvre and his little girl gave the museum a thumbs down that Arrow is like that, and that makes Jared share a story about when they were all in the Austin airport together last week on their way to Rome. They were supposed to have a 2hr layover in Atlanta but it ended up being around 5hrs so Jensen and D were trying to keep the kids awake and trying to think positive that maybe this is good cause they'll be more tired - at which point Jensen says that it was nice to have Uncle Jared stuck there with them (💕) - and when they were set to board Jared is standing with his rolling carry on and his backpack and he feels something push his carry on forward, when he looks behind him there's Arrow with her roller bag giggling evilly at him cause she wanted to play so he started to play with her. And then, at another point, he and Jensen had a little race with Arrow and Zep sitting on their carry on's, so Jensen has one of those aluminum rolling carry on's, the ones that you can sit on, and he was walking Arrow up and down on it but Zeppelin started complaining that it wasn't fair even though Jensen had spend a couple minutes already walking him up and down on the carry on too so Jensen looked at Jared and started signaling towards the kid, and Jared was like 'come here buddy' and put him on his bag and they had a little race through the airport. This is so cuuuute!!! I need y'all to go watch this moment for yourself cause it's an adorable story but also so you can see what the look was that Jensen gave Jared when he was asking for help with Zeppelin because it's such a help me with our kids look. x
Jensen had mentioned Lonesome Dove a while back but who would be Woodrow and who would be Augustus? Jensen feels like it's obvious, he would be Augustus and Jared would be Woodrow. Also, Jared mentions that the key makeup artist on Walker won the Emmy for makeup on Lonesome Dove! x
If they got a 60 sec ad in the Super Bowl what would it be about? Jensen goes "ha! you know how much money I just lost buying a 60 second ad?" Jared says that it would just be them crying, and Jensen says it would be an ad about how to stupidly spend your money 😂
Jared jokes his would be herpexia 🤣
The next fan read an article a couple years about how people think, some think in full sentences like a running monologue while others think in pictures and concepts, how do the boys think? Jared says he is absolutely the former. That he's either thinking solving the problems of the world in his head, or meow mix jingle, which he does part of, Jensen asks him if he sees things in text to which Jared replies yes, that he's thinking of the description of the visual more than the visual. Jensen also asks him what the recall looks like in his head when it comes to scripts, Jared replies that it flips in that case that when he's doing a scene he can see the script where the page turns, he doesn't have a photographic memory but he has a visual memory but that's for memorization if he's thinking about what he's gonna do later that day when he gets home he's not thinking about how it looks necessarily he's like making lists in his head.
Jensen says he would probably lean the other way, that when he memorizes a script at first he literally sees the page in his head and is reading lines which is largely why he can memorize lines that he's not even saying like he'll know what Jared's lines are he's basically reading the text in his head. And when talking about daily life if he's thinking about what he has to do when he gets home, he's visualising so if he's thinking about opening the door he sees that door and the dog going out, or thinking about getting the groceries he visualizes the grocery store and the aisle he has to go down.
Jared adds that a big day on Walker or SPN, a one hour episodic tv show, is like 8 pages, if you have an 8 page day you have a full day he thinks the most they've ever had was an 11 page day and that's kind of undoable unless you absolutely trust your director or is a lot of dialogue. He asks Jensen what's the most pages he's done in one day, Jensen answers 24 when he was on Days Of Our Lives that they usually shoot 60 pages a day. x
When the boys had a home ie the bunker was there anything they had to take with them from home or that they kept as a comfort thing when they had to go back on the road? Jared quips a flask. He also says he thinks they probably still had the cooler, he asks Jensen if he got legos or army men Jensen says he got all the weapons in the back. Jared says that when the show ended they had said the things they would love to have so their props department send them some things like motel cards, samulet, an army man and some legos so those are in safe keeping in his house.
The fan asks if Sam and Dean have any favorite driving games, someone in the crowd mentions punch buggies which Jensen says he calls slug bug which is when you slug someone when you see a bug car, and that that's probably what they played Jared says probably while the other one was asleep. Jensen also adds that there a couple of other things that they got from the set which they're not at liberty to talk about but the one thing he really wanted was Dean's two weapons of choice: his pistol and his sawed off shotgun. And that's a little trickier of a prop to take home and across the border because it's not a prop it's a firearm so instead what he did was he got a 1911 Colt .45, and he comissioned the craftsman in Van who had done the filigree engraving in Dean's gun to come out of retirement to do that filigree on the firearm that he bought, and he actually ended up using it in an episode just so he could say it was on tv. Then he did all the paperwork and sent it back home but the shotgun is ilegal if it's sawed off so he didn't think he'd be able to get it until he talked to his dad who told him that he tought his uncle had one and he did, he left it to Jensen when he passed so now his collection is complete. x
J2 Gold Panel Atlanta 2023
#j2 tinhat#jared almost fully send me down a rabbit hole with that whole thumbs up thumbs down thing#i was this close 🤏 to writing about how we might have gotten the thumbs up from europeans but also the involvement of the war#because pilots would give the thumbs up as a signal that they were ready for take off#noniwtv#mine
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I found this interesting analysis of War and Peace, basically a TL;DR. Also very relevant for Vaslav Nijinsky, who was a Tolstoyist, pacifist and also idealized peasant life to the point of naivete.
I would start by pointing out the three different meanings of one of the words in the original Russian title, mir (мир), which is the “Peace” of the English title. “Peace” is indeed an acceptable meaning, but there are two other meanings that are lost in translation. The word mir also means “world,” as in “The whole world is on edge” or “He’s traveled the world.” The third meaning, which I think is particularly interesting given that we’re talking about Tolstoy, is “peasant community.” So right away in the title, the Russian conveys three different things: juxtaposing violent conflict with its opposite, the relationship between violent conflict and the world, and the contrast between war (which is waged by politicians who have their own, usually unstated and nefarious, motivations for doing so) and the the world of those who do the actually valuable work in human existence (physical labor, working the earth, and so forth).
All three meanings of mir are relevant for understanding W&P. Tolstoy was concerned about global issues and also revered peasant life (to the point of naivete). He hated authority and deplored the violence of war as perpetrated by the state, which is why he’s known as a Christian anarchist. One of Tolstoy’s favorite personal stories has to do with when he went to pick up his granddaughter at preschool once. Tolstoy loved to dress in peasant/serf garb, and when he waited for his granddaughter, he was treated very rudely by one of the teachers or administrators. The principal of the school, an older, cultured woman, looked on in horror at how this icon of Russian culture was being treated and scolded the teacher/administrator and apologized to Tolstoy. But Tolstoy loved it because to him it showed how phony polite, cultured, high society was. When it was realized who he was, the offending teacher/administrator’s demeanor changed, but for Tolstoy, one’s stature as a writer or banker or politician or clergyman or anything doesn’t determine how you deserve to be treated. For Tolstoy, the peasants, stripped of the trappings of civilization, were more honest in their dealings with others. Again, this was his idealized view, but it’s reflected in his literary works.
Also important is the theme of Westerners vs. Slavophiles, which is a leitmotif generally in Russian literature. There are extended passages of W&P that were written in French. Those are in the original, meaning Tolstoy himself wrote it. (He knew French at a native level, like many educated Russians of the time.)
Tolstoy’s disquisitions on war and history are also very interesting in light of trends in historiography in recent decades. Tolstoy believed human behavior and society were far too complex to attribute everything to one person (the Great Man theory of history). A million variables interact to allow a single event to come to pass, so to praise Napoleon or some other ruler for the outcome of that event is absurd.
#war and peace#leo tolstoy#literature analysis#russian literature#russian history#tolstoyism#vaslav nijinsky
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To Loathe or To Love
You were a teacher at Winsford Highschool, a science teacher to be exact. You were currently walking to a meeting with your fellow teachers and the schools principal, Principal Coulson. You walked through to crowd of high schoolers going to their classes and made your way through the doors and into the meeting room.
"Hey everyone, is Phil here yet?" You said as you sat down next to Ms. Romanoff and Ms. Maximoff, who you knew as Nat and Wanda.
"No Mr. Hard ass isn't here yet so we can relax for a bit before everyone else gets in." Natasha said as she chuckled at her own name for him.
"Shh, Nat don't call him that out loud he might come in and hear you!" Wanda said, urging her friend to be a bit more cautious of her words.
"Relax Wan, we all know he's usually 4 or 5 minutes late for every meeting he hosts." Nat said rolling her eyes and she spun in her chair.
You giggled and rolled your eyes at your friends antics. Natasha could be so silly at times and Wanda was usually the one who played the mother hen of the group. You definitely wouldn't have it any other way though.
"So Nat..how was the date last night?" You asked her, she had told you and Wanda that she was going out on a date with the art teacher, Steve Rogers, and you hadn't heard anything about the date yet. To say you were curious was an understatement.
"Yeah! Tell us what happened!" Wanda said as you and her scooted your chairs closer to her.
"Ok ok, so basically we had dinner at his loft, which was decorated beautifully may I mention, and it was just so romantic. We talked and ate, and then he turned the lights down low and played some music and we danced and then afterwards when he twirled me he-"
"Hey ladies, Phil here yet cause I was wondering if-"
"NO!" You three said at the same time as the redhead went back to her story.
"And then he kissed me." She whispered and giggled.
"Awwwww how romantic." Wanda said.
"I know ... of course Steve was so romantic he's the freaking art teacher. He probably knew how to set up everything perfectly...like art-!" You said, slightly wishing you had someone doing that for you as well.
"Uhm hi, sorry for interrupting whatever is.. going on here but have any of you ladies seen Phil..or Steve for that matter. I have to ask him something." Said the man you loathed most. James Barnes. A nuisance he was, and idiot, and most importantly..an egotistical know it all, except he knew nothing. Stupid man.
"No, Mr. Barnes. We don't know where Steve or Phil are. Do you think we'd be here talking the period away instead going to them if we did?" You said condescendingly to James.
Nat and Wanda exchanged glances and sat down watching all the drama unfold. Unbeknownst to you your two best friends had been shipping you with the English teacher for quite some time.
But alas, Natasha and Wanda being the foreign languages teachers, you never knew their opinion about you and Bucky due to them always whispering it to each other in Russian or sometimes Sokovian.
"Well sorry y/n, I should've known you wouldn't be able to answer such a simple question in a civil manner." He said in a very irritated tone.
"You know what-" you got up from your seat but before you could continue Natasha put her hand on your shoulder, making you sit back down. You sighed and pulled out your phone so you could message Phil to see where he was. You realized you left your phone on do not disturb so you turned it off and saw you had an email from Phil.
"Guys I got an email from Phil, maybe he changed the meeting location..I'm reading it now..."
Your eyes widened in horror as you read through the message.
Attention all students and staff members, due to the health code violation 1019.1001 -asbestos, which was found in the laboratory, we will all be evacuating the building at approximately 9:50 a.m. Should there be any emergency, please contact school administration immediately. All classes are to be cancelled as well as faculty meetings for the rest of the week. Under no circumstances are any staff members allowed to stay within the premise of the school building. All closed doors and windows will be automatically shut down and locked immediately, and will only be reopened with staff keys.
-Sincerely
Mr. Coulson
"Holy shit!" You said as you ran towards the door and tried to open it.
"What's wrong?!" Bucky, Nat and Wanda all said at the same time.
"Oh my god everyone evacuated the school because of some asbestos in the building and now we're stuck in here." You said panicking as you tried to look for another exit in the room.
"WHAT?!" Natasha yelled.
"Oh my god, today was supposed to be the last day until break...we're gonna be stuck in here for a week?!" Wanda said while she shook Natasha's shoulders.
"Wait- wait a minute, why did y/n get the email late and everyone else left already? Even better question..why didn't any of US get the email?!" Bucky yelled.
"I didn't get it late I had my phone on do not disturb so my notifications wouldn't interrupt my lesson. Do you guys have your phone on do not disturb?" You said.
"Shit..I do." Bucky said.
"I do too." Wanda said.
"Same." Said Natasha as she groaned.
"Well...how the hell do we get outta here?" You said, kind of scared you all would be trapped in this goddamn school the entire break.
"I think the better question would be what the hell are we supposed to do while we're in here." Natasha said as she got up and walked further into the room.
"Nat? Where are you going?" Wanda said as she watched her friend walk away.
"The bathroom, I've been needing to pee for a while now and I can't do it during my damn classes so might as well now." She said as she opened the door to the bathroom and walked in.
"I didn't know there was a bathroom in the meeting room.." Wanda said as she opened her bag and pulled a snack out, she offered you and Bucky some..you both quickly denied.
"I'm going to see if there are any vents in this room." Bucky said as he got up and started looking around.
"What the hell do you want with a vent?" You said confused as hell.
Was he moronic?
"I see my theories of you living under a rock are correct. Haven't you ever seen a James Bond movie?" He said as he kept looking around.
"What the fuck does James Band have to do with anything?" You said getting irritated.
"Ok first of all, it's James BOND you abomination to fucking society. Second of all, if you've ever seen any of his movies, which I'm now learning you haven't, you'd know that when he was stuck in a room like we are he found a vent and climbed through it, which then led him to the door."
So he was moronic..
"You dumbass, you think the five by four vents in this room are gonna be big enough for one of us to fit in it? Hell, even I couldn't squeeze through one of those, and I'm the smallest out of all of us here." You said.
"Obviously I'm looking for a bigger one you idiot! Every room in this building is required to have a ventilation system that's at least 64 square inches. At least I think the bathrooms do.." he said as he scratched his head.
"Great..so we'll just go to the bathrooms then and-" You looked around the room and realized just how screwed you and Bucky were.
"Wanda and Nat are in the bathroom.."
"So? What's the big deal..let's the ladies relieve themselves.. Jesus." Bucky said chuckling at the odd amount of worriedness in your statement.
"Oh my god you're stupider than I thought, the email said that if the doors are locked then they lock permanently, which will include bathroom doors." You said, enunciating the last five words in your sentence.
This entire day was just turning out to be a shit show..
"Jesus Christ, now they're stuck in there. You think we can maybe break the lock?" Bucky said, worried that Nat and Wanda may be stuck in there for a whole week. He may not have liked you, because he really loved you, but he didn't want them to be stuck there the entire time.
Your phone started ringing and it was Natasha.
"Yeah yeah, before you say anything I know. You're stuck. We're trying to figure out- well I'm trying to figure out how to get you out of there. Idiot over here is just make dumb suggestions."
Bucky glared out you and you chuckled at the little pout on his face. It was cute..as much as you hated to admit it.
"Alright well, just get us outta here..Wanda's getting anxious without her snacks..and I really don't wanna deal with Wanda when she doesn't have snacks."
"Yeah yeah, don't worry we'll find a way to get you out sooner..or later.." you mumbled the last part of that statement and hung up the phone.
"That's heavy duty metal surrounding the door knob, I don't think so. Besides, we have to find another way to get out of here now..seeing as the whole ventilation thing won't work." You said, answering Bucky's previous questions before Natasha had rung you.
You we're contemplating if you should try and hit the lock with the fire extinguisher that was in the corner of the room.
"What do you mean? I thought we were gonna go to the bathroom and get to the ventilation system."
"Wanda and Nat are in the bathroom idiot. And. It's. Locked. Were you not here for like half of our conversation?"
"There's a men's bathroom too dumbass." He said as if it were obvious
"No there isn't, not in the meeting room anyway. It's just one big ass bathroom for every adult." You said
"That's dumb.." he said slightly annoyed that nothing was going right today.
You groaned and took a seat in one of the chairs, your head in your hands. You heard Bucky sigh and he took a seat next to you as well. You felt a large hand on your back, Bucky's hand, he rubbed your back up and down.
"We won't be here forever you know..it'll be ok." He said with a genuine smile..which quickly turned into a smirk as he said his next sentence.
"Besides, you'll get to be with my handsome face for the rest of the week." He said, laughing as you started to not so playfully smacking his arms.
"Hey..can I ask you something?" Bucky said as he took his hand and gently tilted your chin towards him.
"Yeah.."
"Why don't you like me?"
"Because you don't like me..?" You said confused.
"What-? No, you don't like me." He said.
This entire feud started because of miscommunication didn't it?
"No, you started making snarky comments towards me the first month I started working here."
"Yeah because you were pretty much a jerk to me doll." He said with a pained chuckle.
"What? What do you mean I was a jerk?"
"Well you showed interest in me in the beginning of the month when you worked here, pretty much lead me on, then when I bought you flowers and left em on my desk you threw em out and never even told me why."
"I- you bought me those?!"
"W- yeah, you didn't know?"
"NO! I- I thought they were from Brock.."
"Why would they be from BROCK?!"
"Because he was hitting on me in the staff room..and then told me you didn't like me..." You said, a bit ashamed this got so out of proportion.
"What- doll. God of course I liked you and- wait Brock was hitting on you?"
"Mhm." You said
"Son of a bitch, I should go knock his fuckin teeth out for all the issues we had to go through and-"
You cut him off by giving him a kiss on the lips. It was soft and slow and passionate and all the little things you needed to confess. His hand combed through your hair and the other wrapped around your waist. Both of your hands instantly wrapped around his neck and you both savored the teaste of one another.
"Hey guys there was an emergency key in one of the stalls and- WHAT THE FUCK-?" Natashas eyes popped out of her head as she witnessed the scene unfolding in front of her.
"YES! I knew it would happen eventually!" You heard Wanda say, and you giggled a bit at their antics.
"What was that about an emergency key Nat?" Bucky said, still a bit out of it from the kiss you two shared.
"Well there was an emergency key in a stall and I'm pretty sure it opens all locks."
"Finally! Let's get the hell outta here." You shouted and all of you ran to the door and Natasha unlocked it. You guys proceeded to unlock all doors in your way and you all finally made it outside.
"Well ladies, and man, it's been a pleasure but I should really go now..I gotta see a certain artsy blonde about something." Said Nat as she walked to her car saying her goodbyes and drove off.
"I should probably get going too, my Vis is probably worried sick!" Wanda said as she gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and said bye to Bucky. She got in her car and drove off as well.
"Who's Vis-?"
"Her husband." You said.
"Oh. Well uhm, do you have a ride..or-?"
"Oh no, I came without my car today..a ride would be nice thank you." You said sheepishly.
"Of course doll, c'mon." He said as he wrapped an arm around your waist and you both walked to his car.
"Hey uhm..would you like to come back to my place for some early dinner..? You don't have to say yes or anything I was just-"
"That'd be great Buck, as long as this isn't a one time thing..?"
"Definitely not doll."
"Well let's go!" You said as you gave him a small kiss on the cheek and you both walked to the car.
Fin
A/N: this was freaking long 😂 and I liked it..ish.
Please please please show me y'all actually read my crappy writing, like, comment, reblog. Revive me lmfao. It seriously helps with motivation ngl :) ❤️🧡💖
~Nyx
#bucky#bucky fluff#nyx22 blogs#bucky imagine#bucky x y/n#fluff#soft bucky#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#egotistical bucky#teacher!bucky x teacher!reader#teacher!bucky#bucky reader insert#Steve Rogers#phil coulson#Marvel AU#Teacher AU#enemies to lovers#bucky x reader enemies to lovers#bucky x reader fluff#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#james buchanan bucky barnes#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes#platonic wanda maximoff#platonic natasha romanoff
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