#and the only thing stopping me from writing is it being afraid that it'll be cringey

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

i really need to get back into the concept of being allowed to write something with zero intent of publishing so i can be as cringey as i want with it

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Rock bottom (But you pulled me up) (Ingrid Engen x Reader)

I'm trying to work on my requests and WIP, but inspiration is lacking so I thought I'd try something new. This is my first time writing for someone out of the uswnt and in this style so please let me know what you think.

Warnings: Mentions of depression, anxiety, brief emotional abuse. Slightly suggestive at the end. Anything I've missed let me know.

Words: 2.8K

You could tell Ingrid was hurt, it was written all over her face. She had made you a lovely dinner and just wanted to have a movie night after not spending much time together. Yet here you were making an excuse to leave once again, you felt like a horrible girlfriend. Ingrid had taken the time to do something nice for you, but you couldn't get out of your head enough to enjoy it. Before you had the chance to get up, Ingrid uttered those three words that sent dread coursing through you. "We need to talk."

You swallowed hard before speaking, "About what?" 

"You barely spend anytime with me anymore. You never message me first, we only do stuff because I organise it. I don't feel like you want me anymore. You're slipping away. Are you trying to get me to break up with you because this hurts so much more than just doing it yourself."

"No! Ingrid-" Tears stung your eyes as you tried desperately to keep it together. Afraid that if she saw how broken you were she would just leave. Things had been difficult for you lately, you were depressed, anxious and stressed. You felt so close to rock bottom, as a result you had been pulling away from Ingrid. The last thing you wanted was Ingrid to leave you, but you also didn't want to be a burden to her or scare her away with your emotions. 

"Then what is it? Did I do something wrong?"

You could practically see the hope disappearing from Ingrid's eyes the longer you didn't answer, leaving hurt in its place. "I feel like when I see you, I need to be able to give you 100% of myself, of my energy and time. I can't do that right now and it makes me feel guilty. Like I'm a horrible girlfriend, that you deserve better than what I'm giving you."

Ingrid took your hand, everything in you fighting the urge to lean into her touch, to fall into the comfort you knew was waiting. If only you could bring yourself to accept it. The voices of your parents and ex-girlfriend hung in the back of your mind stopped you though. The voices that told you you were a burden to the people around you, that everyone had bigger problems to worry about and didn't care about you. The voices that told you Ingrid deserved better than you and your problems. 

"Elskling, relationships don't have to be equal all the time. There's times where it'll be 50/50, but there's times where you give 90% and I'll give 10% or the other way round, sometimes it'll be 70/30 or 60/40. You get my point. What's going on? You haven't been yourself lately and it's really worrying me. Talk to me please."

You sighed pulling away from Ingrid to cross your legs under yourself, grabbing a cushion to hold. There was a part of you that thought being single would be easier, that there was less risk of hurting Ingrid that way. At the same time you knew it was those stupid little voices in the back of your mind that kept pushing that thought. You loved Ingrid more than anything in this world and deep down you knew she loved you just as much. You didn't want to let everyone else win, you didn't want to let your mind win for once in your life. 

Talking about feelings was incredibly hard, it wasn't something you could do while being comforted by Ingrid or anyone really. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately, it's not fair to you and I know that. I-I'll try to explain it all, bu-but I need you to be patient with me. Just let me speak and not touch me, I can't do this if you do."

"Anything you need. I just need you to know that whatever you tell me, I won't ever judge you. I love you Y/n, I love you so much."

"I love you Ingrid. I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt that. Okay, so I um I think I need to start with why I have such a hard time letting people in, especially those I love. My family, well to put it bluntly they're assholes. They were constantly putting down everything about my sister and I, nothing we ever did was good enough. Any problems we went through were nothing to them, they always told us that people had bigger problems, that they had bigger problems and we were just adding more stress to their lives if we talked to them about anything remotely not positive. Tha-thats the short version anyway. My uh my ex was pretty similar, she would tell me that she had better things to do then deal with my trauma or depression. If I was unhappy she would turn it around, say that she wasn't enough to make me happy. Even before her, I majorly struggled with my feelings and opening up to people. Fear mostly, that's why I um haven't told you anything. Fear that I'll be too much for you and that you'll leave me."

Tears threatened to fall, but pushing them back you continued talking. "I'm really struggling right now Ingrid. My depression is the worst it's been in years. The anxiety just sits there constantly under the surface making it feel impossible to breathe. Constant doubt about if I've made the right decisions, if I'm good enough at football, if I'm good enough for you, there are so many more things I could list. Sometimes I feel like everyone would be better off if I just packed up and left. I'm so sick of feeling like this, but I don't know how to get it to stop. This is probably one of the scariest things I've ever done, but I've had already almost lost you Ingrid. I can't let them win by actually losing you. I love you so fucking much, I can't lose you Ingrid, I can't."

Tears were near pouring out of you both as Ingrid sat there for a second. When you didn't speak she must have decided you were finished talking because the next second arms wrapped around you so tightly and you completely broke. Ingrid held you tight until the sobs turned to sniffles then you feel silent. Ingrid's hold never completely let go, it was like a life line at this point. 

"I love you Y/n. I loved you before and I still love you just as much now. I'm not going anywhere. Nothing your parents or ex said is true. I always want to know how and what you're feeling, I will always be here for you. No matter what your mind tells you, you are never too much for me or for the team or anyone who truly loves you. Our lives are so much better with you here so please don't even think about leaving because we will miss you. I will be here every step of the way while you figure things out, I will help you get the help you need. If you need space, I'll give you that, but if you need me here then I will always be here. I know you feel like you need to be giving me all of yourself, all of your energy, but you don't. Even if you can just give me 1% until you get over this bump in the road then that's enough for me. You are enough for me Y/n."

"I think there will be times when I need to be alone, but most of the time I just really want to be with you. I need to work on accepting that I deserve your love and comfort so I actually seek it out when I need it or want it. Some reassurance every now and then will help I think. Can we talk about the next steps tomorrow? I just want you to hold me right now."

"I will give you all the reassurance you need and more. Have you eaten today?" Ingrid asked, but the look in her eyes told you she knew the answer so you just shook your head. "Okay, I'm going to order some food while we cuddle here then we can go to bed."

True to her word, Ingrid held you tightly while you lay on the couch, staying close to your side during dinner and as you got ready for bed. "Thank you, for everything you've done, for being here, for loving me."

Ingrid kissed you softly, before pulling away and leaving soft kisses over your face, "Always."

Lying in bed later that night, head resting against Ingrid's chest, you decided to admit the one thing that kept swirling around your mind, "I think I need to take a break from football. Not the training, I think that helps me, but games. The pressure that comes from each game feels like weight being added. Makes me feel like I'm being dragged further down into this hole."

"Okay, if that's what you feel you need then we can talk to the coaches or Ale and she can sort it out. I know the thought of telling anyone else what is going on is scary, but Ale or anyone else on the team aren't going to judge you or think any less of you because of it."

"I think maybe we can talk to Alexia, not tell her everything, but the jist of it."

"I'll be by your side when you're ready." ---

It had been a few weeks since the talk with Ingrid and since you made the decision to stop playing in games for a while. The only person who knew why was Alexia, it was clear that everyone else was worried, but until now you hadn't felt ready to tell them and thankfully they didn't push. 

There was still a long way to go, but things had been slowly getting better over the last few weeks. You had started seeing the team therapist multiple times a week and had restarted medication for the time being at least. Everything was starting to become clearer, you weren't as anxious all the time, you were becoming more willing to talk to Ingrid, to actually spend time with her without worrying about not being enough, and smiles and laughs were becoming more genuine when they did happened. 

The team had been amazing despite not knowing what was going on, they were as supportive and loving as ever. So you decided it was time to let them in a little bit. You squeezed Ingrid's hand, getting her attention as you spoke quietly, "Can you get their attention please? I know they're worried about me and I think I'm ready to tell them."

"Hey! Can we have your attention for a minute."

Once everyone's attention was on you, the anxiousness started to creep in, but with Ingrid's hand still firmly holding yours, you took a deep breath and spoke, "I know you've all be wondering why I've effectively benched my self the last couple of weeks and I want to be honest about it. I've uh I've been um struggling a lot mentally at the moment and I decided I needed a break. The pressure was too much, I couldn't handle it on top of everything else. So uh yeah, I don't want you guys to keep worrying about me."

It was quiet for a few seconds before many arms wrapped themselves around you, mumbled we love you's and we're proud of you's were heard as you sunk into the arms of your teammates. Surprisingly, Mapi was the first to pull away, cupping your cheeks as she spoke uncharacteristically softly, "You keep doing what you're doing and come back to us when you're ready. You always have is in your corner Y/n. We are so proud of you and we love you. If there's anything you ever need you can come to us okay?"

"Thank you Mapi. Thanks all of you." --- A few months had passed and you were finally feeling like yourself again. There were still hard days, you were pretty sure there always would be, but you were genuinely happy again most of the time. You found yourself more willing to open up to not just Ingrid, but some of the other girls you were closest to. It was safe to say your life was pretty well back on track, there was just one thing left to do and that was get back to football. You hadn't told anyone of your plans to start playing games again, you had just been put in the line up as a sub, but after conversations with the coaching staff you knew you were likely to come in at half time. 

When the line up came out, Alexia was the first to notice and speak up effectively getting everyone else's attention, "Y/n?"

"Yes Ale?"

"Is there anything you want to tell us?"

Ingrid looked at you confused as you shrugged trying to be as innocent as possible while knowing exactly what she was talking about. "Oh really? Well how about the small fact that your name is on the substitute list again?"

"Oh yeah. That is a thing I guess."

Smiles grew on everyone's faces as it clicked what was happening. Ingrid practically jumped on you repeating over and over how proud she was, kisses placed over your faces. The team joined not long after, everyone cheered and congratulated you. 

"Okay okay, you can let go of me now. Yes I finally feel ready to come back."

Once everyone had let you go, Alexia pulled you up into a hug. Since she found out about your struggles, Alexia had been amazing. She was always subtly checking in whether you were at training or not, she would pull you away when everything got too overwhelming and Ingrid was busy, making some excuse so know one else would know the truth. Alexia was always just there in a way that was subtle and comforting. "Well we're so so glad you're back. I'm so proud of you Y/n."

"Thank you Ale, for everything."

As soon as your foot hit the pitch, you felt the excitement, adrenaline and happiness that you thought may have been gone for good. You felt yourself falling in love with football all over again, it was like the final weight had fallen from your shoulders. There would always be bad days or even bad weeks, you knew that, but with Ingrid, your family and your new found coping mechanisms, you finally felt ready to face them. 

---

You arms wrapped around Ingrid as she chopped the vegetables, she briefly turned to kiss your cheek before going back to her task. "Hi Elskling, you played really well today. How did it feel?"

"Hey love. It felt incredible, I know I needed a break, but man did I miss it. Anyway, enough about me I have a surprise for you. I was originally going to give it to you after dinner, but I can't wait anymore. Here." You replied, placing an envelope on the counter in front of her. You could never express how thankful you were for everything Ingrid had done for you over the last few months, for sticking by your side through everything. So instead you had decided to start with a few days away in Venice. It was something she had wanted to do for a while and you decided to make it happen.

 Ingrid looked at you for a second before opening the envelope, a smile appearing as she looked at the tickets inside. "What's this?" 

"I know what you're going to say to this, but I am so thankful for everything you've done for me. Sure we've spent a lot of time together, but it hasn't been the quality, good time you deserve. So you and I are going to spend a few days alone in Venice in a couple of weeks when we have a bit of time off. Now I don't want to hear any buts or I didn't have to do this, just say you're excited and give me a kiss."

Ingrid cupped your cheeks, allowing you to press her against the counter as she pulled you in for a lingering kiss. Just as Ingrid went to pull away, you cupped the back of her neck pulling her back in as the kiss grew heated. You didn't want to say that you stopped enjoying Ingrid's kisses because that's impossible, it was just intimacy beyond cuddling between the two of you had dropped off to almost nothing the last few months. There were still short kisses here and there, but you couldn't get out of your head long enough to actually be present for anything more and that wasn't fair to Ingrid. Your lips moved along her jaw as a quite moan slipped past Ingrid's lips.

"Di-dinner," Ingrid moaned as your hand slipped under her shirt. 

Ingrid's legs wrapped around your waist as you walked back to the bedroom, "Dinner can wait."

[olderthannetfic]

Something that happens with people over 30 that I don't have happen with people my own age is "yeah I insulted your work, but you'll still show me it, right?" My half-sister is 42 and drags fanfic as all being trash, then inexplicably thinks I would let her see said trash. No. If you broadcast your dislike for something, I tend not to hand you the thing. I don't hand you yams at Thanksgiving for the same reason.

A friend of mine from college who is 32 said nothing written in second person could ever be worth a damn. Barf emojis were involved in subsequent messages. It's "eye roll inducing", which I gather is cringe but for people who won't say cringe for some reason. She then asked later, totally sincerely, why I hadn't shared my latest writing project with her. Gee, Nikki, why might someone not show you a thing that makes you want to barf? The mind boggles.

My Creative Writing professor, after saying no one under 50 has ever written poetry worth a damn, has asked why I stopped sharing poetry with the class. He has not explained why on Earth I would keep doing that. I tend to not go, "Hmm. The professor hates this. I know, I'll put it in something I'm getting graded in."

Maybe it's because I'm a wee baby of 21 but... why. Genuinely, why would it ever cross my mind to go against someone's stated preferences? I'm not a contrarian. I think contrarians are cowards so afraid of vulnerability and desperate for attention that they'll say anything so long as it's not genuine and it'll get eyes on them. I take shit at face value. If you hate math I'm not calling you for help with calculus. If you hate chocolate I'm not stuffing a bonbon in your mouth. My logic is sound. When I hate math, I would not enjoy someone trying to get me to do it. I assume most brains operate along similar lines.

And yet, for some reason, a handful of people have gone, "Show me the thing I hate!" and their only commonality is age. Race, gender, religion, it's all different. This is the only shared trait.

Was it once standard to subject people to things against their expressed wishes to the contrary?

--

With age comes an awareness of why sample size matters, apparently. ;)

(No, but for real, this is not an age thing. Some people are just like that.)

[starrbright]

Inevitability of Nature

Needs. Desires. Wants. It's all human. But what follows after has always been out of our hands; nature.

After you let Professor Nanami had his way with you, some notions rise....and some....conflicts rise as well.

Professor Nanami x Reader

Continuation: XX | XXX

Inspired by the pieces X | X of @shaicutieee. I wrote this for her, and well, of course.....me😁 check them out, it's very good and what made me to write this. Her works are all great as well, I hope you can look at over her blog!! ((:

afab reader. reader is 25 years old. fingering. dry humping. vaginal sex. unprotected sex. reader is a virgin. he's still a pervert. nanami as a soft dom?

all my y/n are fat and of color.

9K words. I expected it to be only 5k but you know how it is🚶🏽‍♀️. Hope you guys take time to read this and thoroughly enjoy it!!

Nanami has been through some shit, he really has been. Piles of works, sure. Dealing with people, sure. Deadlines that he sometimes rushed to meet, students he had to deal with, putting up with them because he wants to, not because it's his job, but still he wants to be a good teacher to them even when his work is shit.

But to see you at the back of his class, hiding, avoiding him, ignoring him--was torture.

Nanami, of course, had to what he does; teach. Write on the board like he didn't almost write an explicit word because he was thinking of the time he had you wreathing on his desk. Speak of what he wrote and fight his urge to look at you. Read the remaining bits of his lesson in the book he holds, like his voice is not threatening to crack from how he was recalling how you taste, your cum that he drunk so well. His nerves so high, he had to stop his reading midway, loosening his tie while clearing his throat.

To top it all off, what you wore today is a tight fitted and high wasted jeans, a long sleeved turtleneck. You were hiding, he can clearly tell, how can he not? But of course, that didn't stop your own body to show itself; ample thighs, round hips, belly rolls and round shoulders were hugged so well by the stretchy fabrics. He had a good sight of it when you walked into class, though ignoring him, no less.

You were hiding, afraid, frankly it was still all too distracting and yet it bothers him that you were hiding.

Fucking hell, yes, it really was a torture. So that's why his class ended fifteen minutes too early. A win for everybody, of course, they fled with no complaints or even questions like children excited for recess. And with you; being at the back of the class and having an idea where this was going, you hurried as well, though subtly, well you tried to be. Pulse suddenly all raised as you noticed the room was already cleared.

Nanami stood there leaning his waist back on his table, eyeing you as you just gathered your things and started to walk the stairs. Adorable, he thinks. And such a good student you always were, hands fill with books and other things. He can't let you out of his room without having any resolve.....well, whatever resolve he deemed it to be.

Your eyes only on the ground as you knees and feel the man was staring at you with such gaze that you knew it'll make you want to just fall down on the stairs. As you stepped down on the last step.

"Y/N." Nanami called. Stopping you before you could take a turn. Eyes still on the ground, a view of his polished shoes, clutching your things so tightly on your chest as he stepped away from the desk. "Put your bag and all of those on my desk." He spoke, walking away to lock the door as you heard.

Why did he have such a hold over you? How could you just let him stop you from walking away? Allowing yourself to let him, it was undeniable. Were you that weak or he's that strong?

But if anything, you couldn't be possibly be blamed for it, even if you do blame yourself--because afterall....you've always found your eyes on your professor lingering ever since the first time you stepped foot in his class.

For a simple person you are, seeing a man as fine as he is--you looked. But of course, too much you did and left you in a predicament. Where you found yourself having a smile as you got ready for the day and on the way to campus until that smile went wider when you reached the class you're most looking forward to having. Your heart leaping when he walks in, your back straightening with your smile you tried to keep down, and with your mind that tried its best to focus. Slick you were with showing that you're focused by asking questions that he always answered fluidly.....and because of that, you let yourself indulge that he was maybe too eager to answer you, mind imagining things that a naive person would only do.

And that you were, too naive, too indulged in your own world that you didn't notice he was indulging himself as well. Too naive to not see he had already seen you sighing a smile with your chin on your palm, to not see he held amusement and smugness in his eyes and to not see yourself would be sprawled out beneath his tongue.

Reluctantly, you followed. Still, your eyes are only to his shoes as he walks back to you until the distance ceased to exists. Nanami felt guilty for feeling powerful above your anxious figure, really he did, but the tent growing in him would say otherwise, you could say that was what he was most guilty about.

He holds your chin, soft his touch was as he turns your face up to him. From the calmness of his eyes were, you had your answer, he really is strong, and you were nothing of that within his presence. "Did you not want what happened yesterday?"

Let's be honest, who wouldn't want their fucking hot professor's tongue deep inside them?

"...I...I wanted it..." You couldn't lie.

Relief fills him but there's a few things that remains. "And do you regret it?"

You gulped, hands unclenching and clenching, unsure of the answer. But you spoke before he could, "I'm...I'm scared."

There was many things you could be scared of. His furrowed expression turns soft, another hand of his goes to your waist, caressing it. "Of what?"

How could he be so cruel? You were naive, you realized that, but not too much that you hadn't seen his desire and nothing more. How opposite you feel.

Indeed, there are many things you're scared of; getting found out that you affiliated yourself with the esteemed professor and all that comes after the dreadful happening, of allowing yourself to have his way with you. But most of all, you were scared because you're already feeling for him. How stupid you are.

And surprisingly to you, some anger brews in you because how cruel he could be? Being so gentle and attentive while backing up what he only truly needs.

You shake your head gently, the hold on your chin gone, your eyes turning away from him, putting your hand over his on your waist to refrain his hold that was weakening you. "I don't...I don't know.." It turns out you could lie.

Nanami only kept you in place by sliding his free arm to your hips and he leans down. "Do you want this?" Filling up his needs, whatever that may be.

But if he had seen you having a dreamy look before then it's not too much of a stretch that he can say he knows what bothers you. He's not blind, however aloof he seemed to be, in fact it's quite the opposite, actually--that's why he had and took the chance to swept you off your feet.

Nonetheless, he's still a man, despite that he resents such a person would do....he's still a man; weak to his desires. And afterall....you'd benefit off of it as well, no?

What a bastard he truly was. You felt played. But were you really played or you're just that naive? The notion still stands. As your eyes was on his chest, you washed the anger presenting itself by replacing them with nothingness. Had enough of showing too much. Needless to say, you can't deny that you want what he was asking, no matter how shallow it is, no matter how irritated you are. You still want him.

You meet his waiting gaze but even so with your decision, you couldn't answer.....rather you refused to give him that satisfaction. So you give it to him by locking your lips to his.

Nanami sighs, tensed muscles easing as he mirrors your actions; sloppy and fleeting kisses while his hands roams to your thighs before his arms hooked underneath to carry you to put you on his table. Glad that you laid your things just on the side. He hums a guttural sound as you raked his hair, pulling on them while he deepens the kiss, tugging you closer to him on your hips, your legs locked onto his back.

You dip slightly and he follows forward. His defined and hard body against your soft one, his suffocated cock on your cunt, you feel how hard and big it is that it was so easy to grind on it. Sending a shocking pressure to both of you, your moans being swallowed by one another. Nanami thrusts to you, meeting your moving hips, your jeans just riding up tightly, allowing you both to feel your heats just more. Lips not breaking away but only tongues dancing together, his hands now on your ass to help you assault his cock more and with yours on the sides of his neck, fingers digging on them.

The kiss was turning sloppier; lips dripping with drool while your heads bobs up and down just to meet each other's lips. But your pace underneath was getting hurried, Nanami's pelvis was now hitting your sex like a damn nail, moving no different from how he'd move to drill his cock into your cunt, making you falter but that didn't deter him and just surprised you with his strength by pulling your weight upward so he could ground his cock more onto you. Your things making noise as it moved along with you two. Lips not on each other anymore but you're just dazed with your head a little thrown back while he only trails wet kisses all over your face, finding yourselves nearing the edge.

Tired and aching muscles, you still grind against him weakly while he's still fucking strong as ever. With the strength you can muster, you clenched your limbs onto him as he rutted again, making him stop and clamped down onto you as well. He kept his sinful groan with pursed lips, but even so, by how deep the rumble in his chest was--it made no difference. You came both at the same time, your head now deeply laid back in the air while his is buried in your shoulder. Bodies all tense but still slowly moving to ride the high, essence spilling out, soiling your underwears, continued sounds from both of you.

Still in a trance despite that his high came down, Nanami began to explore you, hands kneading on what he can while he goes to your lips, holding the back of your head with his big hand as the other just continued to grope you. Loving how pliant your flesh was against the fabrics. And you, out of it the moment you came, was surprised to say the least. Barely able to keep up with how needy he was and just as when you were about to call him, his phone rang; telling that his class has truly ended fifteen minutes prior, an alarm that you were familiar with because sometimes he gets carried away and lose track of time.

But of course, he just continued bombarding you with his kissing and groping. You knew if you didn't stop him, there was a chance he'd have you bended over his desk to fuck your brains out, there was no doubt in you that he had thought of that before. The thought made you flinched your fingers tightly to him.

"Sir," you called and to no avail just sealed your lips with his. If it weren't for the severity of the situation and new found opposing feeling for him you'd laugh of how needy he was. You pulled away and yes, he follows but just to your face again, and how fucking glad you were that you're wearing a turtleneck for by now if not, you'd be full of marks.

Nanami fucking grinds himself to you again and for the first time, you let out his name, "Kento," in a moan it came out that you didn't intend to but it broke him out as he stilled. How great it came out from your mouth, and only then he realized your moans earlier were nothing but just incoherent sounds, what a waste it was. He'd have you say his name soon enough, to cry it.

The ringing of his phone was stopped as he turned it off, not even taking his eyes off you as he did after he sat you properly. Heaving breaths you controlled as you take your eyes down, not wanting to see his hazy gaze, see how satisfied he was. Instead you closed your eyes and leaned your forehead to his, while he rubs your thighs softly. "...I should get going," you muttered almost breathless, before you could look up to him, he pulled you by the waist to put you down gently and then you looked up to him after. Taking your hands off of him and tried your best to stop your limbs from trembling. And a mistake you thought it was for he puts a hand on your face, fingers gently rubbing the skin, "Hmm...yes, take care." He mutters too airy, eyes nonchalant again but the way he held it was soft.

There he fucking goes again with his cruelty. You wonder how he wields what he will and you wonder if it was your or his fault that your tears fall as you walked out of his classroom, feeling so stupid, that you know how he was taking advantage of what you hold for him and you resent yourself for relishing in the pleasure. Whatever was left with your pride, it made shame come crawling though you.

Nanami....he was, of course in a different spot......God, what desperation can do to a man....the sounds of prevention mute to his ears and just wanted to continue, the ending envisioned with you bended over his desk to fuck your brains out. If it weren't for you calling his name, he would have risk it.

Yet no shame in him, no guilt he can feel that course in his veins, no anything but the rush of aftermath....and that again, he was guilty of. He sighed, exhaling deeply as he crossed his arms, heads up--he'll have to go clean himself up first before another class begins.

The day went on with minds trying not to be distracted.

And to say you both are right now....was an understatement.

A day has passed after what went yesterday, a day with you avoiding him again despite that you didn't have a class with him, taking all the directions that you were sure of to not cross paths with him, nor even give him a glimpse of your existence far away. A day with you reflecting on your mistakes actions, of what you hold for him. From how you thought nothing of anything but it as you went along with your day, you'd say it took you somewhere, at least.

What more could be said? You like him. Till now, you've imagined how his smile was and how you know it'll make your heart skip a beat. An aspect that made the man more appealing to you, as much as daft you feel for that notion....some would agree, anyway.

....Yes, you like him....enough for you to have some peace with the unspoken agreement you both made. Swallowing your shame rather than pride, you agreed upon yourself to see through the end of what you've done. Newfound vigor to not be let down by your hurting ego. Because after all, what could you lose if you do this? Dignity, reputation, pride, or even degree to make it worse--but hey, the man you like persuaded you to form a no strings attached, as you deemed it to be, anyway--so how could you turn down such an offer?

Be it absurdity or even sad, you'd take what you can get. It's not like the man will have something to put you both in a situation, more than you already both are in.

.....That's.....for some other time...

Distracted you both are right now. Still and again, you're at the back. Nanami was different though, he's not faltering, nor even steal a glances toward you. Instead he was himself, where he spoke fluidly, eyes roaming over his students and of course, to you.

You chuckled to yourself, how could you have missed that? That his gaze was always laced with threatening facade that no one could miss but he played off well. And......no student of his nor the people in the university would even comprehend the thought of the said professor to have your panty still with him. Yeah, that thought was quite hard to forget ever since you realized. "Bastard." You muttered under your breath that hitched when your gazes met again. Immediately though swiftly, you ducked your head on the desk under your arms, feeling caught because you knew he saw what you said and the little quirk of his lips said so. Sure to have some consequence after.

And Nanami was more than pleased to deliver said consequences.

You were the last one remaining again in the room, silence stood still as you walk down the stairs and up until you pass him by his desk, with him just standing against it, but not until he caught your wrist, taking you back to him swiftly, a soft gasp out from you.

"Bastard, huh?" Nanami spoke, encircling his arms on your waist after he took your bag and things from you, putting it on his chair, then yours crawls to his chest so as your eyes to his. Immediately being surrounded by his strong scent of musk, trying not to relish it in the way it can show.

"You disagree?" You dared and it was worth it because you pulled a reaction from him, though only a raise of eyebrows and twitch of his lips, it was new, and amusing.

His surprised in reason was because what you just did was new as well, the same when he saw you utter the word, and now seeing hesitations gone in your eyes. He isn't complaining though.

He nod his head, passing by your question. He rather agrees to it but he won't say it out lout, at least. "You avoided me again yesterday," he states as a matter of fact. Not that he's bothered, really, he's just.....curious, the one that grew every time he walks the same direction he always does that makes him see you but didn't. And with how you are at the moment, it added to it.

You nod, trying not to let flattery or even a little of hope creep in by his words that confirmed for him to notice what you did. "Yes, well....I needed to think." Loosening his tie to open a bit of his well neatly buttoned collar.

He just looks at you, urging to go on. And you laughed lightly, your head falling to his chest.....he didn't need to know all that, even when he seems to want to know about it. "I think....that the door is still unlocked."

Some reminder to keep you steady.

And whatever Nanami thought it was, it's good enough for him because you're back in his arms. He smirked, dipping his head down to you, "We can fix that." He seeked your lips with his, your hands clasping together above his nape and you gasped in surprise as he walks forward while you were forced yourself to do so backwards.

He didn't let you tore off your mouth from him but just continued to kiss you vigorously, his palms going down to squeeze your ass as he guided you to where the door was. Adrenaline pumps high with the possibility of being caught, it tripled when Nanami backs you gently against it with a thud and he locks it.

He stands in between your opened legs, feeling his hard on against your heat as he was now slightly crouching down to meet your arched figure. Glad he was with your chosen attire; a loose shirt that's tucked in your short pencil skirt. Easily giving him access to let his hands roam up to your ass, the skirt riding up while he finally leaves your lips alone and went down to your exposed neck. Your hands goes to his hair, knowing how he likes it to be caressed and you did nothing but that as he gave a sweet attention to your soft flesh down, tempted to leave a mark.

Letting his desire win again, as he had the second to contemplate it while he just trails his wet lips on the skin--he had the time and what a loss it would be if he just left it untainted. So that's why your lips are pursed now because he's sucking on the right side of your neck while you're moving your hips slightly, feeling his cock move against your thinly covered cunt. Nanami grunts on your flesh, a harsh squeeze to your ass cheek, then he sinks his teeth on you, the abundant flesh engulfs his mouth, rolling his tongue above all the while he continues to suck--it had your mouth fall open.

"Sir," you moaned. So fucking relieved that you didn't utter his name this time, a line you know that's meant something. Nanami, too busy for the notion to cross his mind, was only pleased to hear you so he continues while you do yours as well, firing both of your heats with the grinding of your hips, that is.

Figuring that he did enough, Nanami pulls away to see what he did; a visible and wide enough of a mark that no one is to miss, your glistening skin with sweat and panting self, hooded eyes to him and still slightly moving hips. Satisfied he already is, he huffs down to you, pushing the leg between you further that made you gasp and arched up, fingers clasping up to his suit. "Should we continue?" he asked, already knowing the answer but just wanted to taunt you, he can't help it, not when he has you this eager.

You only hum, fluttering eyes, already lost, and you just let yourself be--better than be awake and see how smug he looks while you're weak. But he only taunts you more.

"Answer me." Demanded he. Knowing he won't let up, you gained some strength, your hand reaches to his tie and tug it to pull him closer again. "Yes," you weakly said and that was the only thing he wanted to hear.

Nanami hums as he hooked his arms under your thighs, your back straightened with holding onto his neck. Staring at each other as he carried you to his desk, unfazed by how he effortlessly he took you and just admired how pretty he looked with his blonde hair starting to stick with sweat, running your fingers through them now and beads of sweat falling on his face, fogged glasses, how red his ears and cheeks was. As he put you down, you took his glasses off, the chance finally allowing you to look at his unguarded eyes. Barely able to grasp the reality of being in front of your disheveled and flushed professor, once again. At least with your resolves bound agreed to you.

Nanami can see through how you're gazing at him, to say the very least....he was taken aback by it. Far from amusement now but just intrigue. And he needs to steer the other way before anything. He took his glasses from your hands and hooked it on his collar, then took off his suit, smoothly throwing it back on his chair, before he cuffed up the sleeves on his wrists properly; how you always found that action too attractive.

Breathless you were by his mere actions as he eyes you down before going down to your lips. You sigh into the kiss even when it was brisk and so needy, he dips you down lightly with a hand of his on your back and the other unbuckling his belt. Nanami explored in your mouth until he pulls away, gently laying you down on the wide and long enough desk, pulling once on your legs to angle you closely better to him, legs tightly clinging to his sides with your flat dolls hoes still in tact to your feet, skirt riden up to your waist, exposing your thighs and of course, your panty to him.

You stare up at the man and as the waistband of his pants fall a little, your eyes went down as he palms himself over his fitted boxer, seeing how packing he was, your lips parted, breath hitching as you were quite scared. He chuckled a little and rubs your thigh, "I won't hurt you," he spoke reassuringly. He may be a bastard but not so much, so he has to calm his nerves down when he feels how wet you are as his hand goes to your heat, slick leaking through your cotton underwear, just as he took off your panty short. Large and thick fingers massage your slit through the fabric.

"Sir....I-" you let out quite loudly, chest rising up and down. By your eyes, hesitating voice and your hands that tries to reach his wrist, he knew what you wanted to say--and fuck, some disgusting urge he shakes away because otherwise, he would have let loose and destroy your virgin cunt.

Nanami breathes from his mouth, not stopping his rubbing with your clothing mound, "I know, I know.." he coos, his other hand going up above your waist, feeling the belly rolls and up to your breasts, fondling them. Overwhelmed already by his ensuring actions, a hand of yours went to his that was fondling you, squeezing it while he took off your panties and laid it beside you.

You pursed your lips so hard as you knew what was next when he cups your mound. A kept sound echoes out of you once he lined one finger in your entrance. It'll be a tight fit, he thought with how your cunt was already spasming on his one finger--it makes his cock throb more, feeling his slick leaking out. "Easy.....easy," he mumbles when you gasped and squeezed his hand you were holding so hard as he slid in the finger further.

Deep and slow breaths you make to soothe yourself though with how he's looking down at you, it only helps so little--and he just adds another finger, "Shit-" you hissed. Twitching, he guided down his hand you're still holding onto for dear life to your belly, pressing down on it, "You're doing well."

If he keeps on speaking like that while looking at you, his strong digits sliding in your walls, no less--you'd lose whatever cogs remains in your brain.

Hummed moans rumbles from your pursed lips as his fingers stretches you gently, easily done by how wet you are and the way he's guiding you. Eyes rolling back to close your eyes and let him take his time with his fingers in you.

Nanami, despite how his boxer is already soiled, pulsing of his cock so strong that it battles against the beating of his heart--he only eyes you as his two fingers penetrates your cunt nice and easy. Almost unable to believe that he'd be fucking his student raw, a virgin, no fucking less. He's beginning to get dizzy at this point.

He then turns his slow pace a little bit faster, in and out they slide. "Ha," you continously pant as he find his fast rhythm, thick and long digits getting sucked in by your walls, eyes opened now while he's hurling his fingers again and again, hips bucking to move against them and he allows you--just as pleased you were eased already.

"God," you heaved breathily as you already feel your stomach was on a rollercoaster but with just added so much heat. By how deep he was plunging in your walls, how wide his big fingers were stretching you, and the fact that this was your first time as well, you knew you were close.

Nanami feels it, too--easy to know by how you're now scratching his hand you haven't let go, shallow rising of your stomach and your wavering grinding. He almost chuckled but he just smirked, turning his pace much more faster, "Sir!" you gasped but immediately covered your mouth, suddenly clenching all of you but he just continues to drive in and out his knuckles deep.

Wide and frantic gaze stares through his calm ones as fucks you by his fingers, the table was already creaking weakly. As his other hand was freed, he used that to rub over your clit, pushing you to your edge. "Mmhgh-" eyes rolling back again as you let go. Squirting a little of your fluids with thick and white comes out of your cunt slowly, his colored cream shirt tainted a bit and unfortunately for you, his damn watch as well, though Nanami could care less about it but just watched you ride your orgasm and easing you through it. Shaking limbs that moves weakly to let the pressure stay while he gently massage your insides.

You moaned by your lips parting slightly when he takes out his fingers and the other goes to caress you, keeping you awake from your hazy state. Then you're humming as he cups your roaming head, keeping it still to make you look straight to him. You wonder how he could still ask what he asked when he's licking his fingers off of your cum by his tongue, "Should we continue?"

His calm voice only echoes in your ears but you didn't need to be told twice again, hypnotized with pleasure, and well....him. "Yes, yes, yes," you pant, nodding, not caring how needy you must sound.

Nanami wastes no time to take down his boxers, springing his cock free, his red and wide tip that leaks with his pre. You gape at him, your head a little away up from the table, fully woken up and frankly, scared again. "I got you," he spoke firmly, rubbing your thighs to leading his one hand to caress your ever soaked heat. "Hmm?" He waits for you to utter at least something and you nod, though hesitantly. Enough for him. Because truthfully, he doesn't know how long he can wait more.

He strokes his length, making it dribble out more cum and he hums while he still rubs your mound. "I won't make it hurt, angel." Assured he and you nod again, the name somehow doubles the fluttering of your insides. The man above you who was entranced by your cunt which was smeared with your cum and clenching onto nothing, couldn't take it anymore and lines himself up to your slit. But he doesn't enter yet and instead slides his length against your folds, eliciting hisses and gasps from both of you.

"Fuck," you swore, your head instinctively falling back on the table, feeling his hard member rubs on you, your hands just fisted to your sides. Nanami yanked up your shirt, showing your soaked stomach and breasts underneath your bra, he'd bite and mark you up if only he had the chance at the moment. But he isn't complaining with what he's got now; his aching cock that massages itself on your fat cunt. Up and down again and again until a thin paddle of both your slicks is made on the floor, that he no doubts will just double later on.

Fucked out you already were and Nanami can't wait to see how you'd be once he finally gets to be in you, a few more firm thrust that he's doing right now and he knows he'll have you gushing out again and of course, he. With actually a hard and final thrust, hard that it truly contracted his thick and hard length against your mound, you gripped his sides by your legs so tight as you came. Nanami was no different, it had him clenched his knuckles on the table, up to his neck frozing as well as he reached his peak.

By now, his hair was much more wet and falling down to his head, dropping of sweat to you, and fuck--how greatly lewd he looks as he relished his high, head up to the cieling, showing his veiny neck, thanks to what you did earlier by loosening his tie that crippled his shirt now, cuffed up sleeves that hugged his muscled forearms so well, the expensive watch of his glimmering, his chest heaving.

What the hell did you got yourself into?

As he got back, he looks down to you, stroking his length once again, his curve straightening, lining the tip to your entrance, that much already makes you take a deep breath, your hands finding your thighs to dig into. "Relax, I got you," he says, his eyes sharpening a little, guiding his cock in with his hand to finally be in you though just the tip yet. Nanami's eye never left you even when you already were sucking the little bit of his length so tight, but just kept his attention to you, ears sharp to your little sounds, making sure you won't hurt even a little. "I got you..." He mumbles along with your whimpering, his other hand caressing your soft belly while he stilled as you ground yourself by finding where his hand was and held it.

Nanami opened his hand to hold yours properly, fingers clasped together; a little surprised by the action, he took that chance to move a little, your said hand twitched hardly on his as your thighs did. "Is that alright?" he asks after, the little added inch in you making you lightheaded already but by his firm yet gentle aura with his hand squeezing yours, is what soothes you greatly.

You nod tiredly with closed eyes, you hum a small 'yes' and he hums as well, lightly tugging on your hold to make your eyes open and look at him, which you do. You're both pulsing against one another, you feel it, so much; it's quite aching but not because of how it's hurting but because of how nicely he felt even with his thick length--your cunt just wanting for more.

Some luck you had. Desired as well by the man you like, even though it's not the same way as you think of each other....suppose it can count for something....with him being as your first time, no less. And how could you complain when he's being so gentle, patient to not hurt you, even though it was his wanted need that's put you here, he's patient to ease you first. If you didn't know any better then you could say that alone is making you fall for him more.....but you do.

You're not blaming yourself this time though.

And Nanami seemed to be patient, it truly looks like it, but believe that it has ran so thin ever since earlier. His needy cock that's being sucked so well by your cunt, only the tip and a few inch he's in and it's so much already but still not enough. What keeps the last thread of sanity that's holding his mind together is your glossy eyes, his hand that you keep on squeezing.....and your trust in him to keep his word. Because after all, he wouldn't want you to be scared again, run away from him and leave his need.

All the while your minds ran, Nanami was inching himself further little by little until he's halfway, relieving him some of his aching as your walls engulf him. "Mhmm, you're doing so good." Placid tone that he mumbles out lowly as he rocks his hips a bit. Another of your hand goes to where you're holding his, needing support from his girth that opens and continues to impale in you while you just let broken moans out.

"Eyes on me, sweetheart, we're almost there." You don't know how much more you can take by his mellow words, and you did your best to bear his heavy gaze while he was still going in. After for what it felt like for so long, Nanami finally found himself to the end of you, his pelvis directed so closely on your heat, his cock fully sheathed inside you, giving what he was deprived of for a while since he's taken a notice of you.

He sighs with closing his eyes as he turned up his head, basking in the warmth of your walls that spreads all over him, your little cries as a melody to his paradise. What a view it was, his chest that's seems to be constricted by the tight cloth clinging to his sweated flesh, curves of his muscles showing, that was rising up and down slowly by how deeply he was breathing--some pride manages to swell in you for it was you, well, rather your cunt that made him like that. But you can say the same with his cock that was impaling you.

Kneading your thigh, he looks at you, "See? You did so well, hmm?" You can only nod, tears falling to the side of your face. Any other time, you're sure you would have feel pathetic but no, he was anything but made you feel everything but it.

"I need to hear you speak, angel." Nanami spoke, his nod urging you on. You nod a bit frantically, licking your lips, "....Yes, yes...I'm okay," you say breathlessly.

Seeing how you are, that gives him grant to move again, he pulls back his hips, his length slowly following out and he sees how soaked it was, veins more visible. Then he goes in, slowly again, giving you time to still get used to him, seeing how your cunt was tightly pressing on his length, making him hissed with clenched teeth and jaw the second he was pulling out and your walls welcoming him in again.

"Mmhgh," you moan as he continues to slowly drive in you, unable to believe that it didn't hurt even once despite that he was so big and long, just filling you up completely and warmly; all because he made sure of it.

Nanami's slow pace began to turn steady, his hand still on your thigh but just gripping it now, "Talk to me, sweetheart," he says, and you wonder how is his voice still firm like that.

You try to bite off the shy away in speaking of what he was insisting to know, and of course, by his demeanor that never seemed to fail to work on you, you answered. "It's good.....so good...." you murmur, eyes fluttering but still you had a glimpse of his satisfied face--at this point, you have no energy left to protest to it, even just to yourself, because all of you was being outweighed by his pulsating cock in your heat as it slips in and out, every vein of his you feel it contract against your walls, his tip that only threatens to reach your deepest end. Only that and you already see your end to be so near. You know you're in some deep shit because he hasn't even begun yet.

He kept moving his pace, still not letting up to his want that tempts him to drill his cock into you without remorse or whatsoever. Rather, he continues to put you first and it's not even so hard anyway, because he knows even without penetration yet, you're not so far to cumming again. "You're almost there, hmm?" Nanami urged as he eyes your cunt that was leaking of white drops already before he looks at your strained face. Only a few more then it'll finally pay off.

"Hnggh..yes..yes.." You let out a whiney voice as your tears don't stop falling. With the sounds of your liquids squelching, feeling how your cunt continues to leak, his cock plunging in, his hand that never stopped caressing your flesh and your hold on him he as well hold, you had your release. "Shit-" you choked, uncontrollably bucking up your hips and clenched thighs on him so hard that your walls did as well, which made Nanami's breath hitched--"Shit." The sudden action, choking his own member, shockwaves through his nerves.

Both of you lost in the euphoria, though Nanami had to ground himself because at the moment it was all about you, as much as he was damn grateful for what you unconsciously did, he needed to help you ride your end, and to see you at it, made it all worthwhile; as you keep grinding to him while he feels your creamy slick coats his cock that he continues to rut in you gently, ( you both no doubt that his own was mixing with yours the moment he went in you ) your nails drilling on his knuckle, he only dismissed the little spots of blood that shows, and just watched on how you were shaking, listening to your sounds that you keep on breaking as you knew you can't be too loud.

"Ha....fuck," you dragged too breathy, your hold on him weakening, vision just black spots, slowly coming down from your high bliss, still you feel your cunt fluttering even when both of your movements has ceased. Nanami takes his hand from you gently, needing to flex it as it was slightly hurting before coming it up to your neck, his strained fingers reaching until to your chin, "Angel, stay with me," he murmurs, fingertips faintly rubbing your skin, making your dizzy eyes open to peer at him.

You hum, weakly nodding to his touch, too out of it to pay mind to it. "Are you okay for us to continue?" If you still have some hold of yourself or had the energy, you would have giggle or even laugh, maybe be even a little annoyed, roll your eyes--the literal situation amusing as he was still in you, of you just down from your release, and he's still asking if it's alright to continue. But whatever is left in you, how he was being, you can't deny what you somehow feel in your heart.

Managing and choosing to let your lips curve a little, "...Yes...I'm okay...please.." To Nanami's ear, you plead. And as said before, he may be a bastard but not cruel to not give what you were asking for.

So finally, fucking finally--he has himself moving through you the way he was craving for. His pace began slow and steady again, both of his palms laid flat on your sides on the desk, gripping down strongly on the wood to gain momentum in his thrust. Leaving you to hold on his wrists, your muscles pulling as your arms were only just long enough to reach for him, the grip just adding to it.

Your hold was the only thing that was keeping you from breaking, knowing what you were feeling right now will only just get worse; knowing what's only left is him speeding up and fill you up to no end.

Of course, that's what he does. Babbles of his title, curses, incoherent sounds out from you while he only lets out guttural groans and low rumming hums that vibrates through you, along with skins slapping against each other...and the table creaking strongly.

With the time you had that was much past far already and charting the dangerous remaining time you have now. You both know that one round is all you have, Nanami is fine with that, more than it because he'll fucking make the most of it.

....And because of that, you know you have to keep the burning knot that's already building up inside you or longer than you can to make it all the damn better. Which is what you do, by digging your nails on his skin once again...limbs clenching so mightily against him to give you strength with keeping it in. To give back what he gave you, is what's in your mind--pathetic as that sounds, you want to keep it.

Nanami sees through you sees through your teary eyes that still somehow gets lost in your head while he was fucking you. Adorable, again is what he thinks but no amusement just intrigue, again. He lets it stay this time, be it a heat of the moment so as you've said before, part of him knows that it's not.

Then he surprises you when he slows down, the curling fire in you follows down not too soon, making you blink your tears away too many times to look at him rightly to see if your senses were doubting you, but because you see his waiting eyes that's painted calmy....satisfyingly, your face furrowed before you scoffed disbelievingly, ''Bastard," of course, like you've guessed, he'd savor it well and that's how he does it; by warming his damn cock inside you, even in the midst of fucking you, he just has to stop and bask in your heat, beating against each other. But is he right for doing that because it is fucking good.

"Believe me, I know, sweetheart," he now admits. That makes you raise your brows and smirked, teeth showing, but before you could relish your amusement, he went back to it again. Cursing at him and that only urge him on.

Only by a few thrusts he started again, that knot in you easily builds just as easy how it went away, making you remember to hold on and you bear it as you feel he's not so far now.

Fast and deep is how he hits you, his cock twitching every time he finds your end, hips rising slightly each time that happens making his knot overflow and by that, he knows he's close. So he made his pace even more faster, because of it; it feels like he's ramming into you deeply now despite that he really not anymore because of his speed.

Out of his control that his pace had become uneven, hips stuttering and he's cursing and hissing now. "Speak, sweetheart." Hastily he lets out, tightening up all of him before he hears your answer. "Inside," you breathe brokenly and that cracks his damn easily just as yours. His bottom stilled against in you and you raise your hips to meet his final thrust that makes all of him spill in your gushing cunt.

"Fuck," Nanami swore as he continues to let out his cum, his cock beating still strongly as if it's his own heart, gently rutting in you to ease you both, your cleched state beginning to move again, stirring the heat further more, finding your vision back. "Fucking hell." You curse, so fucking overwhelmed; trembling limbs and flinching all the while, not letting up your death grip on his wrist. Nanami doesn't even feel that but just your cunt that still sucks him in, trapped in his own doing as your eyes were locked together while staying high.

Aching and trembling muscles as the man helps you sit up gently. Feeling all the soreness come down. You just sit there with closed eyes as Nanami fixes himself up and you're surprised when you felt a hand on your face, he doesn't say anything but just brushes your hair out of the way and dab his handkerchief gently on your soaked skin, a few tissues as well. After that, he fixes your shirt, all that until you're fully woken up, able to grasp what he was doing, but despite you're quite taken aback, you don't say anything, well not like you could anyway by how your throat was burning--and of fucking course, he's standing again in front of you with a water bottle.

Shaking arm, you drank it all. He then carries you bridal style, knowing you're sore and because of the mess down front of the desk. "Can you stand?" He asks, still carrying you, looking at you're limp head on his chest. "I'll try," you weakly answer and he lets you, but still his arms are around you and glad you were because your legs gave out immediately. You laughed weakly, holding onto him, Nanami doesn't show anything but his neutral face and just held you up. Making you hold onto him properly as he fixed the rest of your clothes, including sliding your panty back up to you.

Presentable enough, enough to not let suspicions grow. "Are you able to walk by yourself or shall I go with you?"

You gape at him a little, almost finding him funny. "Suspicions is what we're avoiding,"

"I won't have you falling again."

Quite late for that.

You laughed, clutching your bag. "I'll be fine, I'll do my best."

He doesn't stop there. Is he dense with what he's doing?

"Will you be okay?" Though you know what he was implying, his hold on your cheek, how he's caressing your arm, is what reflects his concern.

Either he's real cruel to treat you like that when he knows what you feel for him or he's just truly kind and you're just far gone swayed, letting your heart cloud anything else.

"I will." You nod, squeezing his hand for the last time before going but not before asking to insist ith helping with the mess that he just dismissed, ever the gentleman.

Quite the day you both had.

Stolen glances, given gazes that dangerously stays when distances are clear. All of that.

All of that until you see each other and take and give what you can for as long as time can offer.

All of that until Nanami can't take anymore of your gazes that you hold with so much likeness for him, hell, it might be even more. It's getting in the way of what he only wants. You're getting in the way, because fuck, you're getting to him and that's not what he wants, no he doesn't want that, he doesn't want you and what you hold for him.

Well....at least that's what he keeps telling to himself....especially right now that he sees you speaking animately with your seatmate in his class, and it's been going on like that for a few days that it's got his attention, the said person listening to you intently and quite frankly if he's not wrong, he can see that they're eyeing you the way he has been, back then. Lust.

And what he doesn't do just told him that he's in deep shit; letting you converse with them even though class was about to start, rather than calling you out and see you frown because of him, it was his fault anyway that he came in late.

What the fuck did he just do?

Worried is what you are as you feel he's been strange, more than usual, you suppose. Worried that your charade that seemed to be going so well, especially for your own satisfaction of feeding to your desires not of needs that he only seeks but what you've made into much more than that--worried that it'll end soon. 

Speaking of that...you don't even bother to curtain it but just let it show, because come on, it's not like it was a problem, right? Surely he's not bothered by it because you do nothing but just look at him, speak to him in a way that no one has and until now, can. Surely he's not affected by it, no?

....It was then you concluded, rather reach that at this point, he has been. Some hope you were right.

You weren't worried anymore that your charade will end.

With the little courage you have, it was enough to drive you greatly.

And it's what Nanami has dreaded when you're now face to face alone in his classroom once again. He's unsure of what he's dreading, to be honest, just that dread is keeping him on his toes.

He eyes his shoes as his waist was leaning back against his desk, he doesn't want to look at you, afraid to see how you're gazing at him, what you hold in them, afraid that he's afraid, afraid he'll mirror your gaze.

But when you call his name, half of it gone away. "Kento," you call, tipping your head down gently. There he looks at you, breathing deeply. The man doesn't speak but just stares at you, however you're not flustered by it this time as you see nothing was behind them anymore but just him.

Your drive takes over, with pursed lips you smile before speaking, "Do you want this?"

For the first time, you see him smile, losing his composure as he puts a hand on his face, a laugh breaking. You were much right about your heart skipping a beat when you see his smile.

He's truly lost and knows there's no running from it. No sense in doing so. A bastard he is or maybe even cruel, but never a coward. Nanami reaches out for your hands and you give it to him. "Yes."

You only smile, stepping closer to him as he opened his legs and leaned your foreheads together. Closed eyes, he whispers, "Forgive me."

"I know,"

"Allow me to start over."

"As you wish."

A new agreement came to light driven by only the truth and sealed by a kiss.

Which was interrupted by none other than the two esteemed professors besides Nanami; Gojo and Geto. Opening the door with a key in Geto's hand, the two entering in so smugly with Gojo laying out his hand to Geto.

"I told you so. Pay up."

[bumblesimagines]

A not so brief summary on my thoughts on House of The Dragon S2:

This finale makes me want to go outside and reconnect with nature 'cause why the hell did they make us wait so long just for a bunch of filler episodes and what was basically a trailer for season 3?

Spoilers for the show AND book which includes the deaths of characters and the arcs they had in the book.

Right off the bat, I'm just going to say that this post, this post, and this post sum up some of my thoughts. It truly feels like Ryan Condal (as well as others in production) had someone else give him a rundown of what happened in the book and just went off on that alone. I admit, I like some changes made from the book specifically with Alicent being Rhaenyra's childhood friend but at some point it just diverged from an adaptation to a fanfiction.

I know people whine and complain that it's 'nOt GoNnA bE eXaCtLy LiKe ThE bOoK' but if that's the case, stop calling it an adaptation and start saying it's based off the book. Of course, people are going to be annoyed when changes are made when they step in with the expectation/hope it'll be like the first few seasons of GoT.

Season 1 was good but rushed and had far too many timeskips that skipped needed character development. We never got to see Rhaenyra shift away from 'I don't want children' to learning of her first pregnancy. We never got to see Alicent fully turn away from Rhaenyra and stew in her resentment over being stuck in a marriage she never wanted while watching Rhaenyra be free enough to have multiple sons with a man who wasn't her husband. Laena, Laenor, and Harwin had little impact because we saw so little of them. We never got to see if Rhaenyra loved Harwin or if she saw him as a fwb.

It was rushed but the characters felt alright.

And then in comes season 2 and we can see that they were too afraid of being called out to write proper female characters. I've said this before when answering an ask but HOTD only has two types of women: rebellious, headstrong, stubborn, warrior girls and sensitive, withdrawn, submissive, rule followers. This is Arya vs Sansa all over again. Women can be multiple things at once. Not every Team Black girl has to be a fighter, not every Team Green girl has to be quiet and faithful.

Why wasn't Rhaenyra angry about Luke's death? She left S1 looking enraged and started S2 off strong in her grief but then Luke was never mentioned by name ever again. I understand burying down the grief and anger to rule but we should've seen her continue to break down in private throughout the season. Her SON was MURDERED and you're telling me she's not going to continue grieving him when she didn't even do anything for half the season? All she did was run off leaving Jace and the Council scrambling to stay together or get consistently spoken over again and again and again. And now suddenly Ryan wants her to be this calculated meticulous cult leader? Rhaenyra's downfall is descending into paranoia and letting her emotions and worries get the best of her (WHICH NETTLES WAS A BIG PART OF). She loses and flees King's Landing because of it.

Why was Alicent's plot mostly revolving around Cole? Why did they choose to have her sleeping with him while B&C happened? In the book, Alicent is essentially taken hostage because B&C knew Helaena took her children to visit their grandmother and say goodnight. She watches her daughter be forced to choose between her two sons only for the son she chose to save be killed. Instead of feeling grief for her grandson's death, she feels guilty for... having slept with Cole. No real thoughts or feelings over her GRANDCHILD being MURDERED. Look, I love the Rhaenyra x Alicent ship but it was doomed from the start. Instead of trying to make it seem like there's a chance, complicate it more! The complexities is what makes the ship good! But no, let's have Alicent, mother of the king and a big part of what started the war, mope around and fuck this dude. Hello?? Are they also setting her up to poison Aegon at the end when she spent half of season 1 saying she needed to protect her children from Rhaenyra???

Why did Helaena mourn her son for an episode and then move on? Are ya'll seeing this pattern or am I crazy? Helaena is supposed to descend into madness over her grief and guilt. She can't look her remaining son in the face because she'd chosen him to die. She's so consumed by this that she ends up impaling herself in spikes after throwing herself from a window. Are they setting her up to be murdered? To do it just because? And what do you mean 'Helaena doesn't ride. She has no taste for it'? Helaena LOVED to ride. Her love for her dragon is the reason Dreamfyre breaks free from her chains in the Dragonpit when she senses Helaena has died. But of course, Helaena is a Team Green girl and only warrior girls ride dragons, right Ryan? And she's Team Green so obviously unlike in the books, the smallfolk despise her as much as the others? They took the devastating choice of B&C and gave it to Alicent in the last episode which makes the death of Helaena's son's absolutely meaningless and unneeded as well as her own death. And also? all of a sudden Helaena can now understand her prophecies and speak them clearly? So why didn't she tell anyone of B&C? Surely a mother would try to break away from fate to save her children?

Aemond, Aegon, Cole, and even Daemon were given more complexities and plotlines than the main women, Alicent and Rhaenyra, were lmao. While the faces of the war were cast aside to be one stereotype or the other, we got to see the men be messy and chaotic and full of emotions. Aegon got to be angry and defensive over his son's death but not Rhaenyra. Cole got to be conflicted over his doings but Alicent was just meh about it. Daemon had so much unnecessary hallucinations lmao. Was it even character development if after every hallucination he still beat his chest and called himself king? He learned nothing but suddenly he sees a horribly CGI put together vision of GoT and he's fine putting away what he's been saying all season long? Come on now.

Jace, Baela, and Rhaena were massively underused. In the posts I linked, it explains my issue with Rhaena taking over Nettles. It's stupid and unneeded. We get to sympathize with Hugh and watch Daemon bang his mom but there's no need for the ONLY WOC IN THE BOOK to be seen? Not even his clear bias for Team Black will allow him to bring in Nettles and let Rhaena be one of the few Team Black girls who isn't a fighter and a Strong Female Lead? Okay.

Jace and Baela were. there. I guess. We could've cut back a lot more of Daemon to show Jace in the North winning over Cregan or even having him return mid-season. He did nothing but serve face and have a few lines of being annoyed. And, it was his idea for the dragonseeds, both highborn and lowborn. And Baela was just there to be his voice of reason. The rational girlfriend who pulls her boyfriend out of his head. She had one good scene where she wasn't just Daemon's daughter or Jace's love interest (they never even did or say anything remotely romantic. They feel like friends over two people in love) and then she just. existed to be there for Jace.

The dragons were great and I loved their designs. I loved that their dancing is based on the birds of prey death drop(?) and I clocked it instantly when I watched Rook's Nest. However, I really hope Aegon belives Sunfyre is dead because of a weakened bond and not that he's actually dead considering Sunfyre burns and eats Rhaenyra alive?? That's his whole thing??

I did not care for Tyland and the pirate chick. We had a full fledged BATTLE be offscreen but we had to see Tyland get tossed around in mud? Okay. Sure. Uh huh.

Like... what was this? It was like hours long filler episode. 'It's setting up for season three!! that's why it sucked!!' but we still had needed action and characters that were brushed over? We could've had the battle between the Blackwoods and the other idiots, we could've had Nettles taming Sheepstealer, we could've had the women feel like real people instead of being one dimensional characters, we COULD'VE HAD RHAENYS HAVE EMOTIONAL SCENES WITH HER BELOVED GRANDDAUGHTER(S) BEFORE FLYING OFF TO BATTLE.

Anyways, honestly, 4 or 5 out of 10 for this season. I was bored for most of it and it was massively underwhelming. I expected this season to end with the Gullet and Jace's death being the straw that finally broke the camals back in Rhaenyra which would've had her take King's Landing in a fit of rage and grief. I also expected Daeron to at least have some sort of appearance? He gets mentioned twice and we see Tessarion briefly but no sign of the missing TargTower son and no Maelor? Okay. Sure. Let's just call this House of The Dragon: The Poorly Written Fix It Fic Brought To Life Instead Of Being Left On AO3. No wonder GRRM isn't going to be involved anymore.

This doesn't read like an adaptation brought to life by a passionate fan. It reads like an adaptation created purely to reach Game of Thrones level of fame and popularity. GoT earned it's popularity in the first few seasons. HOTD is merely piggybacking off it's success and failing at being anything other than a boring high budget show that happens to have dragons.

[ice-cream-writes-stuff]

Hello! I just saw your Matriarch post! Can you possibly do a prologue about her backstory and her going to the other dimension with a batfamily and batmom that are still alive and together? And possibly a part 1 where she just walks into the Batcave one night after she sends out an all-call to the bats and the league and once they all start questioning what is going on she comes out and tells them about her backstory and how she'll prevent her future from happening by offing the rogues one by one and saying something like "I'm the only one who could ever succeed in doing this. And do you know why... it's because I know exactly how each and every hero and villain alike think. I know every plan and protocol in place that both sides of the gallery (i.e. meaning the heroic side and villainous side) have in place, how to stop or outsmart them, and every single possible move any of you could make against me. If you think you can stop your wife, mother, friend, or whatever else I am to you, then by all means... I invite you all to play my game, if you can capture me AND discover my plan, then I'll stop for good and go back to my time. But should I be victorious, well, the world and all of you are MINE."

Sorry for it being so long! And for the long monologue!

[Damn, that is good!!]

[Matriarch Au]

Notes.

In this au (Y/N) pretends to be a hero for the public sake. A part-timer of the league in the future.

Bruce doesn't know (but has suspicion) she is killing or torturing almost half of his rouge gallery.

She's afraid that Bruce won't love her become of his no-killing code.

There's technically a "(Y/N)" in this timeline who meets Bruce and falls in love. But, The Matriarch technically killed her before she could meet Bruce.

But here's another question. How does this (Y/N) interact with the Batfamily?

Since (Y/N) knows of each horrible thing that has happened to her children and lover. Batmom is very protective then most other Batmoms.

She still wants to give her children freedom, but also knows that when she did... They were beaten or almost killed for the sake of protecting others.

Batmom decided to mess with this world's timeline so it would be better than her own. But still deliberately decided to let some things stay the same.

1st Example, Dick Grayson. Now depending if Batmom came around before Dicks parents demise is up to you. But in this instance where she did, Batmom would try to save his parents but it doesn't work out.

2nd would be Jason, this is where it gets kinda fucked up.

Batmom is a very caring individual but Matriarch isn't.

Batmom would do whatever she can to make sure Jason will never know of his mother being alive. Batmom will even go out of her way to guilt-trip Jason and emotionally manipulate him. To the point where he doesn't care if his real mother is alive or dead.

But, if Jason does end up curious and decides to find his mother. Aw hell he ain't gonna be free from Batmoms protection. Including Matriarch.

Batmom will get Bruce on her side to not let Jason out of the house or better yet city to look for his mother. It will take a lot of convincing and emotional manipulation part two. Anything regarding Jason's mother or possibly anyone close to bearing resemblance is wiped from the Bat-computer database.

If Jason managed to find a way to convince Batmom or escape Gotham. You are three steps ahead as Batmom or Matriarch.

The only way Jason could even wind up dead is if Batmom was a second too late.

From that point on if that happens, it'll be a much worse for the latter members and friends of the Batfam.

(Y/N) has and will install trackers on everything and anyone. Your always listening, always alert.

You'll put on the facade sure, but the truth of it all is that.. You're no longer just "scared". No you're terrified, to the point you have the smallest threat or villain is your biggest enemy.

-

[I'll write more for Batmom/Yandere/Villain reader! I swear! If you guys want more let me know, I still gotta describe how Matriarch Au deals with villains.]

[Maybe even write a angst dead dove do not eat fic later hopefully. Thank you for reading!]

[akirathedramaqueen]

Two completely random things I might regret dropping here later. But I think I need to get it out of my system and maybe it'll help me stop being a whiny insufferable grouch I've become the last days partially because of today's episode coming out.

TW for self-hatred (mine) and suicidal thoughts (not mine, don't call psych ward on me, please; and it's not in the post itself, only in the song it mentions later on).

One.

Waiting for Ghostfuckers fucked me up completely. Like not in a fun way. In a 'I've considered dropping this show despite how much I love it' way. Because it touches on a topic so deep and personal to me I am not sure I want to be inadvertendly called out like that. So I stopped checking tumblr, I avoided any HB mentions, I couldn't write two lines in the fic without being triggered (so if I ignored your tags or messages or replies—sorry!). Don't know since when I've become so sensitive. I actually took pride in being quite callous to everything. But apparently here I am.

It's not like the show is the sole reason my mental health went down the drain in the past weeks. Of course not. It's just that was the last fucking drop which sent me spiraling.

If anything, I dare to say it actually helped me understand myself better in many ways and learn to try to accept some fuck-ups I've done with my life, that it might be just fine to be fucked up a little.

Reason for all this rambling? None. Guess I just relate to Blitzø hard in this way and I am afraid to see even uglier side of myself. And maybe if you feel the same way about the silly demon show, I don't blame you, I am with you. But fuck it, I embrace it. Fucking hit me with that episode and leave me in shambles. I'm not ready, but hey, I am the AT and the FUCKING PENGUIN SHORT survivor, it can't be worse than that, right?

RIGHT?

(Watch me fucking crawl in the corner and wail in like? 8 hours from now on?)

Two.

I have that song on repeat, and its chorus is what I think characterizes all Blitzø's actions. Not the song itself though. This is the case where I take the chorus out of context deliberately, because the rest of it, well . . . this is TW-worthy. Suicidal thoughts TW-worthy. Consider it your warning.

So I'm just focusing on this part.

My personal hell, I'll bury it, bury it Weight of the world, I'll carry it, carry it Pile it all on, I've gotta be strong For somebody, for somebody Put my pain in a pill, I'll swallow it, swallow it Too numb to feel, I'm hollow, I'm hollow I have to hold on, I've gotta be strong For somebody, for somebody Somebody else

It's so Blitzø, isn't it?

Burying his trauma so that he can get through another day. Not realizing it keeps chipping away from his life however he tries ignoring it.

Swallowing his immense guilt and act brash. Put his pride on display, not realizing it's not the opposite of shame, but its source (I thank ATLA for this great quote).

Taking responsibility for literally everything happening around him. No matter if he could help it or not.

He's gotta be strong, he has to hold on and pile it all on. For somebody. Somebody else, who matters more than he does.

[btheleaf]

Is tenzin afraid of periods or will he get his face a little dirty?

I know this wasn't a prompt. But I really wanted to write it. Short answer: he's not afraid to get a little dirty.

CW: Blood, cunnilingus, fingering

Pema's cheeks were already turning bright red from embarrassment. Laying on the bed... on a dark towel...

Tenzin slowly moves up between her legs and gently coaxes them open with kisses on her shins. She tries to close them again as she feels some of the wetness sneak out. He laughs a little.

"I can't help you out if you keep doing that."

She bites her lip and looks down at him. "Are you sure about this? We don't have to."

He pouts, an expression she swears he learned from the girls. "You said orgasms help with the cramps."

"Yeah but--" She huffs. "Don't you think it's gross?"

"It's natural." A kiss on her knee, parted lips sliding down, a hand gently massaging the underside of her thigh. "I don't mind. I want to make you feel better."

His confidence only makes her cheeks burn brighter, but she grants him entrance. She's wet in more ways than one.

Pema stares at the ceiling wondering how the hell he convinced her to do this. She was curled up on the couch in pain and Tenzin, being the sweet man the he is, asked what would help. To be fair, she had listed quite a few things before mentioning orgasms, but of course *that* was the one that piqued his interest. One shower later and here she was.

The sensation of his tongue on her clit makes her fully jump back.

"Tenzin!"

"What?" He's clearly confused.

"I though you were going to use your hand!"

Another kiss on her thigh. "I was going to do that too." The look on her face makes him frown. "You're uncomfortable. Let's stop." He sits back, his hands move along the outisdes of her legs to gently close them.

Another wave of cramps has her pressing down on her lower stomach with a groan.

"No," she breathes. "You've got me worked up already. It'll help. Keep going."

A devious smirk. More sweet kisses and parted lips. A roaming tongue. Calloused yet gentle fingertips finding the spots she likes. His mouth presses down on her again and she moans his name this time. He works her up slowly. A finger slips inside and she moans louder as his lips pucker and suck her clit. He's being gentle.

"More."

Another finger slowly adds to the other one, pumping sweet pleasure into her core. His tongue falls into delectable a rhythm of circles until she's panting and grasping at the sheets. He doubles down on his efforts and brings her up quickly to the precipice and works her through the crash down on the other side. Her insides flutter and she can feel the absolute mess that's being made on the towel.

Tenzin sits back and presses his fingers gently to her again in lazy circles to help her ride out the last morsels of pleasure.

She looks at him. Everything from his bottom lip down is soaked red. He motions to crawl up her body on his elbows and she pushes him back with hands on her shoulders.

"Absolutely not," she pants, still coming down from the orgasm. "Go get cleaned up, then you can kiss me."

He smiles and it looks so strange combined with the messy state of him. A clean hand is held out as an offer.

"Come with me. We can shower together."

Pema inspects the hand to make sure it's free of blood before taking it.

"You're insane," she says as she gets off the bed with him.

He just laughs and grabs the towel. "How do you feel?"

"Hmm, better," she admits. Tenzin leans down to kiss her again and she runs for the bathroom. "Stop it!"

[a-friendly-fangirl]

Random thoughts on We're in Love (or "Your average Italian girl has had an awful week and Boygenius' love saves her ass again"):

So, I've been listening to the Boys and to their solo stuff the whole week (for the past 5 months, to be honest... but who's counting?) and I've been going crazy lately for the beauty of We're in Love.

I think we can all acknowledge that that song is one of the greatest songs in "The Record" and one of the best ever written. And then I started bawling, when my mind got stuck on its lyrics and realised just how heartbreaking and beautiful it is.

This will be kind of my personal analysis (also inspired by some suggestions here and there... thank you to all the geniuses around that have noticed certain things. I wish I could write down all your names, but my memory is awful), so if you disagree with it or feel the need to add something, do it. I'd be happy to meet more Boygenius fans!

Ok, I'd like to begin with the third and fourth line of the first verse, where Lucy sings: "I don't need the symbol of a scar/ So put down the knife, we're not swapping blood". And yet, in "The film", Julien still takes a blood oath with the young versions of Lucy and Phoebe. I think that this was such an interesting choice to make, considering the difference between the words and the actions. This actually makes sense though, when underlining that 20$ is Julien's song and these words belong to Lucy.

Julien, as her solo albums readily witness, has no real problem with hurting herself ('Cause I'm so good at hurting myself - Brittle Boned) both physically and psychologically. We also know, from 20$, that she does believe in being connected to Phoebe and Lucy in every universe or life (In another life we were arsonists). Lucy does too with them (And I told you of your past lives; In the next one [life], will you find me? - We're in Love). Same goes for Phoebe, even though it's a little more subtle with her. In fact, more than believing in other lives, she seems to believe in changing herself in the present life, so much that, even though Emily I'm Sorry is her song, she has decided to sing it with her best friends, because, maybe, she'd rather be someone that can be loved by them in particular and not someone only Emily "could want".

To better understand the scar line/imagery, I think it important to notice that Julien doesn't take the blood oath with her adult friends but with their younger selves. In my opinion, it's like a machine has brought them in Julien's universe or timeline to help her get out of her home, which, listening to her music, is a synonym of recovery or at least of a better state of mind (in Go Home and Please Stay, it is quite clear: "I wanna go home, I'm sick", while in Graceland Too she finally gets out once she's feeling better). But, not belonging there (and we know they don't thanks to Julien's surprised expression when she sees little Phoebe), pehaps she's afraid that she'll lose them once they're done with the car, therefore asking them to do that oath. Childhood scars never fully leave us, so Julien might be convinced that it'll help adult Phoebe and Lucy to remember her, once they meet as intended or hoped.

When you think about it, the layers here are so many that it's scary. Scars have always at least a touch of negativity, even when you get them for something not negative per se (I have so many scars I got from running around as a child...), because they always follow pain. Julien and Phoebe have dealt with it their whole life and have actively put themselves through it more than once, so of course Julien chooses to use a knife (which also brings us back again to Please Stay: "The hunting knife you kept by your bed". I don't think the mention in We're in Love is a coincidence) against herself if it means being sure Phoebe and Lucy know it's her. But Lucy stops her for two main reasons:

Julien won't have to wait for them to find her, because she and Phoebe will, according to Lucy, be the ones going to her, if they want to (Will you find me?);

Instead of remembering each other through something painful, they could use the happy and positive memories they've shared in this life. Lucy once again wants to do everything in her power to dismantle her friends' self-destructive tendencies and replace them with something good (even the "happy" in Letter to an Old Poet was her suggestion).

Moving on to the next lines (Isn't it enough that we stripped down to our skin?/ Cold and porcelain like bathers in a painting), the beauty of this specific portrait delivered by Lucy kind of proves the point just made. Saying that the skin is "cold" and "porcelain" delivers a poetic image of extreme fragility that could be both literal or figurative and it shows just how much they trust each other. What Lucy appears to be pointing out is that she doesn't need any more pain to believe they're in love with each other, since they've already done the great sacrifice of showing themselves when they were most vulnerable (something they're still learning to do, according to recent interviews).

In Lucy's specific case (And I told you of your past lives, every man you've ever been/ It wasn't flattering, but you listened like it mattered), I'd go as far as to think that she did that by letting Phoebe and Julien listen to the stories of her past friendships or even relationships, telling them whom she had had by her side before them. She sings that that tale wasn't flattering: why? If I had to express myself on that, I'd guess, by her albums, that, just like any other human being, even Lucy has had a lot of troubled bonds with people she might have wrongly thought were as true and loyal to her as the Boys are now (take Strange Torpedo, Nonbeliever or Brando as examples). My personal take on this part is that she hasn't tried to tell Phoebe and Julien who they've been in the past, but to confess them who had had their roles in her life previously, feeling perhaps embarassed by it. But they're in no way bored or mad at her for that, listening, however, "like it mattered" (quoting True Blue: "It doesn't matter anymore", 'cause they're together now, but it is still important to her that they are paying attention to this part of her story).

She also admits being open to them about her own insecurities, especially the fear of being or seeming crazy (I feel crazy in ways I never say/ Will you still love me if it turns out I'm insane?/ I know what you'll say, but it helps to hear you say it anyway), making herself vulnerable by exposing this side of her she usually keeps hidden in hope of being reassured by them, which they've probably done a thousand times already.

Long story short, coming to the end of the first chorus: Lucy loves and values them for the trust they've put in each other and no scar will ever match that feeling. I have a lot more to say about the rest of the song, but this is mostly me ranting about it, so I'll see how it goes. Sorry for all of this :P

[feiandart]

Hi Fei, not sure if this message becomes public or not but I couldn't find any other way to contact you. Just wanted to apologise for my comment on chapter 35. I realise in retrospect it might have seemed rude, I was trying to be funny. So, I'm very sorry, and I don't want you to think I didn't enjoy the chapter. I have deleted the comment. If I may take this chance as well, you have been an inspiration to me, I love your writing. I am too an aspiring writer that took a sabbatical for many years, though my self doubt is my biggest saboteur right now. I would love to know how you honed your craft, your words are so beautifully written. I look forward to the next chapter ♥

First of all, hello and thank you for reaching out to me! ♥

I'm afraid my memory doesn't work properly (it never does, sadly), but I'm pretty sure no comment made me think "oh, that was rude", so don't worry at all ♥ Gonna admit now I'm curious 'bout what that was owo But I will not ask for you to share that again if it makes you feel uncomfortable!

Your words means a lot to me! ♥ I had inspiration issues for half of my life. I was around fifteen when I wrote my last paragraph, and after that I didn't for other fifteen years. Honest to God, Good Omens and its community saved me in more than a way when I was at my lowest - helped me both with coming back at writing, and starting drawing for myself. I startend enjoying things again. And I needed that. So, since finding inspiration again was so meaningful to me, being able to inspire others is like I achieved something so big I can't really find words to express it properly. It makes me feel kinda... Oh, dunno. I guess we can go with: blessed. Finding inspiration was (and is) an healing process to me. And I hope it'll be the same to others. So if it came to me, I can only be SO glad to know!! So thank you so much for sharing this!! ♥

Let me tell you this: I am my biggest saboteur myself. So I do understand what you say, and I can guess what you feel right now. My suggestion is something practical. Go in front of the mirror, tell yourself what you want to do and look straight into your eyes. Then, say: "I will do it. And you will NOT stop me." Then say the same to all the people who might go against you. Nobody, not even yourself, should have the power to stop you from doing the things you love. It may be hard at the very start, troublesome meanwhile, but I can assure you nothing's better than being able to live your dreams. All I can do for you now is assuring you I am on your side! And I am sure you can do whatever makes you feel happy.

Last, but not least (dear Lord I wrote so much and I'm not done yet.......), your last question. Funny thing to answer that one, actually. 'cause I never practiced. I never studied a way to arrange phrases and words, actually right now I'm always a bit overwhelmed anytime I sit myself in front of the screen and open my file to start writing. I'll tell you, I'm the messiest people in the entire universe. I had all the plot already written back in november, but yet my characters slip off my hands and do whatever they want. Does it makes any sense to you? I have to costantly re-arrange my plot to make sure everything have some kind of logic. The rest come from my own mind. Sugar, specifically, means a lot to me under a lot of different aspects. Both characters holds part of myself, my own traumas, my own experiences, my own mazes and struggles. I think maybe sometimes things went when I didn't want them to go 'cause my mind played dirty on me and I was unable to stop it. But I don't complain. So I'm afraid I don't have a real answer but this one: I just put myself into every single word I write. I play all the scenes in my mind just like watching movies. I feel what my characters does and, I will not deny this, oftern I cry while doing that too. I'm a bit too much emphatic, perhaps?

Gonna admit, writing Sugar is exactly like going to therapy to me. Goes just along with that, it helps me process myself, my own emotions, helps me validate anything bad I've ever felt.

Well uh, I got pretty carried away with this answer but I hope you can find something helpful around all of these messy words of mine ♥ (And sorry for my poor english if I made some mistake here and there, I fully believe in honest-to-God messages when it comes to answer people, both in comments, chat or anywhere else, so I never actually go back trying to correct my messages. Dunno, it feels like leaving you all full access to my stream of consciousness everytime I give answers like these. Not sure this makes sense. To me it does.)

Don't ever ever be afraid to tell me what you think or reach out! I'll always be here, happy to give you an answer. Thank you so much! ♥

[thievescanted]

peach and evan avert thine eyes 🔪🔪

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

In my memory, you are always looking away from me.

I'm sure I knew, deep down, that your presence in my life would only be temporary. Though of course its ghost haunts me still — you've made sure of that. I'm grateful for it, at times. I may forget the weight of your hand on my shoulder, or the exact grey of your eyes. How your voice sounded as you told me to guard my right side better. But you, my almost-brother — the whole of you, the tear in the world at my side where you sometimes stood — you I won't forget.

Still: all things in life are transient, changing, already beginning to fade from the moment they enter your life. There's a certain comfort in it. It's all water, and it'll slip through your hands just the same way. Doesn't make the river it flows into any less fucked.

That's not what I picked up a pen to say.

I still think of you when I pray. I don't do it often these days — I don't have much to pray for, besides you, and I'm not so generous as to think of you more than one drunken night out of the month. Only I don't know what to ask of Her for you. What is it you want? That's the question I've been asking for the past year. I used to think you were just jealous that I was more Ma Suvai's daughter than you ever were her son, but that was perhaps a facile explanation. Something to help me sleep at night. Well — you know what I mean.

But then what? I had nothing that you lacked. Or what I did have, you had to have known I would give freely. I can't wrap my head around it even after all these years. I suppose it doesn't matter; the end result's the same. Knives at my throat, in my side — whatever. Knowing why they were there wouldn't make it hurt any less. Maybe you just can't stand the thought that someone may still remember the child you were, standing at the end of a gangplank, sword in trembling hand, demanding with a trembling voice to be let aboard. Even afraid, running, you seemed impossibly tall.

I thought by writing this all out I might actually get to the bottom of it. Like if I tried talking to the dead horse, I might not have to beat it. So much for that. I don't know — I miss you. I miss the sea. I miss being a family, even if we never were. I don't think either of you meant for me to make us into that, but I never could stop being contrary. For now I pray for your health, and for the miles between the two of us — may they grow ever greater till you get some sense. She hasn't let me down yet.

Fuck you and take care of yourself,

Kova

[beebobeebo]

Title: Shit, Kid.

Fandom: Justified

Characters: Raylan Givens, wee Willa Givens , & Tim Gutterson

Relationship: Tim Gutterson x Raylan Givens (Givenson)

Summary: The world is so dire I wrote kid fic.

This is either my brain rebelling against writing blowjobs or having rewatched The Mandalorian.

Also, the swear jar bit is stolen from my stepdad. He still owes me thirty-four goddamn dollars.

Notes: Hippos causes an estimated 500 deaths annually. It'll come up.

"Seriously?" Tim is looking at the little blonde muppet version of Raylan sitting at the kitchen table.

"You gonna tell Dan that I can't find a sitter when you're right here?" Raylan is aggressively tugging on his jacket. "Winona and Richard are sick." Raylan is a whirl of hand motions. "Just gotta turn on cartoons and order dinner. I'll be back before either of you miss me."

Raylan grabs his hat and presses a kiss to his daughter's hair. "Hey, kiddo, Tim's gonna watch you for a little bit."

"Why Tim?" Willa asks with an impressive level of peevishness, which is what you have to call it when a kid is being a dick. She's all of six, but she'd out-Givens Arlo on one of her bad days. Shit, she rests at Raylan-levels while idly playing with her Legos.

"I'm here because, legally, you can't be left alone," Tim answers honestly as he sits down on Raylan's couch.

"Thanks, Tim. Makin' me feel good about this," Raylan says dryly. "Be good, kiddo. Tim's just here to keep the house from burnin' down and feed you dinner."

Raylan plants another kiss on the top of Willa's head. "Be good."

"You already said that," Tim and Willa say in unison. Raylan pinches the bridge of his nose and squints hard at one then the other.

"Bye, Daddy," Willa says without looking up from where she's coloring aggressively.

"Bring back beer," Tim says as he leans forward to grab the remote off the coffee table.

"And ice cream," Willa says still looking at her drawing.

Raylan shakes his head as he walks out the door shouting, "Love you!"

Willa and Tim grumble vague responses at the same time. The pair look at each other and stare for a long moment. Tim's afraid this is a wolf situation. If he breaks first, she'll establish dominance. She holds up her drawing between them. Tim is choosing to generously interpret it as a snake.

"You gonna tell me what that is?"

Willa snorts. "It's you, Tim."

"I'm a snake. I know you're only in the first grade, but that's a weak metaphor, Willa-Wisp"

"No. The snake ate you," Willa explains. "It's digesting you. Their whole body is full of their digestive system."

"Charming," Tim leans back in the couch cushions and clicks on the TV. "Tell me when you get hungry."

Tim idly clicks through the channels trying to ignore the unnerving shuffling sound from behind him. When something grabs his ankle he yells, "Fuck!"

"You owe me a quarter for my swear jar," Willa says from beneath the couch.

"You're running a racket. That stops bein' cute and starts bein' a crime at a certain point." He lifts his ass far enough off the couch to pull out his wallet. "Put it on my damn tab," he says as he holds a ten-dollar bill down by his feet. It's quickly snatched away.

Willa appears at his elbow with the unnerving speed of a child. This is why you don't fuck with horror movie kids. You punt the possessed bastards and run.

"Can I help you, ma'am?"

"Daddy likes you. Sometimes he talks about you when you're not here," she says with a flippant hand wave that's Raylan made over.

"He does the same thing with you. He's very proud of you. You know that, right?" Tim asks. He wouldn't call Raylan perfect, but he was a damn sight better than either of them had known. Raylan loved the shit out of this tiny funhouse mirror of himself.

"He's my daddy," she says matter-of-factly. "Everyone's daddy is proud of them."

"Yeah, sure," Tim says, cycling through channels. Who still has cable?

"Daddy's proud of you," Willa says as she invites herself into Tim's personal space.

Do not engage, Gutterson.

"Yeah?"

Damn it.

"He says you make bad things go away before they even get close," Willa explains as she situates herself in Tim's lap. "Like real far away."

Oh for fuck's sake Raylan.

"I guess I do," Tim admits. "I had to go to special school for it."

"Do you love Daddy?" Willa asks staring directly into his soul. God. Maybe she was possessed.

"Yeah. I even like him most of the time," Tim admits dragging his hand down his face. "Guessin' you still do, too?"

Willa is giving him the look. He knows that look. It's usually angled down at him, though. Goddamn, did this kid only get Winona's hair?

"Of course you do, he's your daddy." Tim smooths her hair. God, who the fuck was he right now?

"Richard loves me, too," She says as her face becomes eyebrows and her little jaw twitches.

"Listen, Wisp, you're only six, but you're comin' off real desperate here. You're tryin' to force me to say somethin'." Tim sighs as he leans back in the cushions and adjusts the kid so they're both comfortable. "Never force anyone to say that. Alright?"

She eyes him. He stares right back. Wolf rules. She blinks.

"Okay. But you are my friend," she says with a nod. "Can we have mac n' cheese for dinner?"

"Hell yeah, we can," he says as he snatches the remote back up. "We can also watch something with robots. No animal shows. You're learnin' some messed up shit from those."

"Like how hippos kill a lot of people?"

"Damn it, Willa. Would you just watch Voltron?"

------------------------------------------------------------

Raylan comes home to a house that smells like neon powdered cheese, has a trail of purple glitter in the carpet, and some weird shit with lion robots playing on the TV.

"Tim?"

"Shut up, man," Tim's voice hisses from the hallway Raylan tosses his hat and jacket on the couch as he heads toward the voice.

"Guessin' she's asleep?" Raylan passes Tim to look into Willa's room. He smiles softly and looks back at Tim. "See. You managed."

"Had to get all the way to Rivendell in The Hobbit before she nodded off," Tim says with a small smile.

Raylan heads down the hallway to his room. Tim follows after a final peek to make sure Willa's not drooling on the book tucked into bed with her.

"Hey." Tim grabs Raylan from behind by the hips and pulls him against his chest. "You didn't bring back beer or ice cream."

Raylan lets his head fall back against Tim's.

"You had fun," he accuses with a smile.

"Fuck you," Tim says into Raylan's hair.

"You didn't hear about the new swear jar?" Raylan turns to face Tim.

"Don't worry. I've got a three-dollar credit."

[ertrunkenerwassergeist]

Out of curiosity - you've written Dreams au for Prompto and Ardyn kickstarting the Reunion, plus the Gladio version that became canon.

But what about Ignis? How would the verse where he finds Noctis first look like?

Not gonna lie. This one had me stumped. I never considered that Ignis might be the first to find Noctis (my mistake) and so didn't even have an incling about how it might happen. Until about half an hour ago, that is, when an idea fell from the sky. Or my shower head. Depending on the point of view.

(I wrote this really fast, so it doesn't fit stylistically into the Deep City verse. When I have time, I'll try to write a 'proper' version.)

***

You could say this starts around Noctis's 17th birthday. Ignis hasn't been doing well. Not at all. His friendship with Gladio is splintering like rotten wood and his uncle as been... distant lately.

Ignis does his best to bury his worries with work, but that's only helping so much. What with his work now being a glorified secretary for whatever ministry, board or committee will have him at the time. Still, Ignis does his best. What else can he do?

So, that one fateful day, on Noctis's 17th birthday, when the hurt is rubbed fresh and raw again and there is no work for him to do...

Ignis bakes.

He tries, once again his best, to recreate that one sweet pastry from Tenebrae Noctis liked so much and Ignis could never get right. Once he's done, he goes outside and somehow finds himself in a park in a working class area. Later, he will think is has been fate.

Right now, he doesn't care, strangely glad for being outside his usual haunts, and unpacks the pastries he has brought.

Their taste is warm and creamy and so sweet Ignis can practically feel his teeth rotting in his mouth. Was that the right taste? he wonders and hates that he will not get an answer.

"Yer usin' the wrong types of berry," an old, creaky voice says behind him.

Ignis whirls around and whom he finds fits the voice very well. It's an old woman, bent and with wrinkles deeper than he has ever seen. Her hands are bony and full of spots. Her dress looks more like it's been made from patches than proper fabric. The smell of freshly baked bread hits Ignis's nose.

"Excuse me?" he asks.

"Tha' pastry o' yer's," she says in the strangest accent Ignis has ever heard. "Them berries're too sweet. Yer'll need them from northern Ulwaat. T's colder there, so they need ta be more hardy. 'Too sweet' tha' prince o' yers would say."

Ignis feels ice cold dread creep up his spine. Does this woman know Noctis? Does she have soemthing to do with his disappearance?

"Now, now laddie. Get those thoughts outta yer head. Ah'm simply following the fire to where it'll lead me."

"What...?"

"Fire, laddie. It knows ye got to play a part in the storm ta come, and it likes ye. So Ah'll make sure ye know wha' ta do once the time is right."

"I'm afraid I do not know what you are talking about, Maselle. Excuse me, I have work to do."

Ignis turns around, intend to leave the obviously mentally unstable old crone behind him, but her next words make him stop.

"None o' tha', Ignis Scientia. There's no work waitin' for ye today. Yer uncle is teachin' yer cousin Paxil in the hopes he'll not be a disappointment, an' yer friend'll not get a diagnosis fer his sister t'day."

Slowly Ignis turns around. "Are you threatening me?" he asks, low and dangerous. One hand his inconspicuously reaching for the dagger he never goes without these days.

"Ye can leave tha' dagger where it is, laddie. Ah'm not threatening ye, simply sayin' things how they are."

"How do you know all this?" Ignis finds himself asking through the fog in his mind.

"The fire, laddie. Once ye know how ta listen, it'll never stop tellin' ye things," the crone says and waves her hand in a way that makes it clear that she wishes for him to follow. "Come," she says. "Ah'll show ye."

And against his better judgement - and the usually so large, but now tiny rational voice in his head baring warnings at him - he follows.

Nearly three years later, he stares at the fire burning between his fingers, and follows it's call deep into the ancient bowels of the city.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #356

It is day number... I've lost track... of not knowing what the fuck is wrong with me.

Ah well.

I figure either something's up with my body, or seasonal depression is just kicking my ass particularly hard for no discernible reason.

Well. Today I went with J to the little airport. He had some maintenance things he wanted to do with his little airplane, and I figured the thing to do is try to get some sunlight and to spend some time with someone I feel safe and connected with. So that's what I did. The car ride there was very nice. We talked a little, and I took a few pictures...

...After a while, the sky started to look a little like you...

In case it's unclear how... here:

...One of the really nice parts of knowing about you is that if I look hard enough, I can find you in just about every beautiful thing I see while I'm out and about.

On the way back, we got some pizza. I wonder if you would have liked these:

We also stopped to get something from the store that will help me to determine if something weird is happening to my body. Recently, a thing happened that was... incorrect. Off rhythm. Simultaneously too much and not enough. So I gotta look into it. I'll do it in the morning. Either my mind will be put at ease, or I'll have a solvable problem on my hands. Easy peasy.

I played a lot of Hades today, continuing my quest to get a victory on the first run of a fresh save. I had some really great runs today.

Here's one in which I defeated Megaera without losing too many hit points:

Here's another one in which I ran into Asterius the Minotaur on his own, and defeated him:

And finally, here's one in which I made it to the final fight in Elysium, even after defeating Asterius:

...I'm improving, slowly but surely. Such is the natural result of practice. It's only a matter of time before I make it out of Elysium. And then I'll be in an even more difficult area, with new enemies whose patterns I'll have to learn! Hahaha...

...I kinda wish that there was a way to practice against individual enemy types. In Dead Cells, there's a practice/training area that I made ample use of. I think no such thing exists in this game. I mean... there's Skelly, but... he doesn't attack you or do anything. He just shows you how much damage you're doing. It's kinda lame, actually.

...I think maybe the funk has come to a head just earlier. I fell into some leisure writing and... I guess I got some clarity, at least for now. My face ended up leaking a lot, and I can feel a headache brewing. Laaaaame.

Under the surface, there's always like a million things I'm worried about (some of these things are sillier than others). I tend to take far too much responsibility for things that don't have anything to do with me. Growing up the way I did, I forget sometimes that others can and should shoulder their own things.

...I think I maybe have a bit too much experience with trying to keep the peace in my house so that people don't devolve into screaming matches. But it's kinda hard to do that when no one takes your voice seriously. I have a lot of experience with being blamed for it when I don't do a good enough job of “making other people feel better” or “taking care of things ahead of time so that no one has to bitch about them”. Also, I think I've lived around too many folks caught up in the throes of their own learned helplessness, and so by now, it might be instinct for me to operate as though others will fit that same pattern, too. Like, if I don't remain vigilant and stay on top of things, people around me will bump into their own problems and their own triggers in the same way that a small child might accidentally touch a hot stove.

It's like... it's almost like I'm afraid that if I don't do all the things, then everything is gonna fall apart, and it'll be all my fault because I didn't try hard enough to take care of everything, and I'm a bad person for not preventing others from getting hurt and a disappointment for letting everyone down. Like... I have to prevent all the bad things from happening, or else no one else is gonna even try, because they shouldn't have to, because that's what I'm supposed to be here for.

...This is a longstanding pattern for me. But that's not really how reality works, is it? Not around healthy people, anyway.

...As an example, I can suggest that J stay away from the predatory job app. The suggestion wasn't followed, and he got hurt. Instinct is to blame myself for “not doing more to convince him” or “not communicating my reasoning for my suggestion clearly enough”.

...I think I have this stuff because, in the past, I was the one held accountable for my siblings' behavior and sometimes for my mother's behavior, and sometimes even for her various partners' behavior, too. If my sister failed her math test at school, for example, sure, maybe she'd get a light scolding from my mother for making her look bad, but... then she'd turn around and scream at me for “being a shitty role model” and “not doing enough to help her study” and “not caring about anyone but myself” and whatever other things she could think of.

I recall instances of my mother screaming at me for allowing my sister outside before doing her homework, because I “need to be more responsible” and “be a better disciplinarian”. And I recall other instances of my mother screaming at me if refusing to allow my sister outside made my sister feel bad, because “who do I think I am” and I'm “not the fucking boss of her; stop trying to do my mother's job”.

...Never mind the fact that she wasn't fucking home and intentionally left the care of her traumatized, rebellious pre-teen to a traumatized, meek, and socially awkward 16-year-old girl (me) and expected her to handle the role of parent with all the grace and aplomb of a wizened elder. I guess that's none of my business.

...I guess part of me expected J to come home from trying the thing, and telling me, angrily, “why did you let me do that? why didn't you try harder to stop me? what the fuck is wrong with you? do you even care about me at all?” I expected that, even though J has never once said or done anything even remotely close to that.

And in this imaginary hypothetical conversation, I follow up with, “well, would you have listened?” And his imaginary hypothetical response would be something along the lines of, “no, because you're an oblivious shit-for-brains and a total fucking idiot who lacks experience, perspective, and common sense. we both know you ain't never got a clue what the fuck you're talking about, but you could have at least tried a little harder anyway.”

...This is absolutely not how this conversation would go. Not in my house as it is now. Maybe in the past with different people, it would have gone like a little something like that. But not in my house. It's not how we do. And it's not how I'll tolerate from anyone, ever again.

...Well. Now that this pattern is defined and nailed down, I suppose it's time for me to try actually doing something about it. And I will, because I can. And here's why:

...Human brains are remarkable things. And just like I can progress from getting my ass handed to me before I even get to Megaera all the way to holding my own for a while in an arena with Theseus and Astarius, I can progress from being a slave to a stupid pattern to breaking free of the bullshit that people with power over me tried to stuff down my unwilling throat.

I will continue to improve. You can do the same. Work on it. Please. I can't, by myself, write the way to a better outcome for you. You have to choose it, too. And I know that you can. I believe in you. I'll always believe in you, even if you think you don't deserve it.

Please give us the pleasure of witnessing you rise up into wholesomeness and healing. Please shine on for all the others who are lost in the throes of recovering from childhood circumstances that are similar to yours. There are so many more people like you than you think. I'll ask you to shine the way forward.

Because... Sephiroth... they're not gonna listen to me if I ask it of them. I'm just a derpy autistic noodle with an overly wiggly skeleton, running around in a marginalized body with a voice that no one takes seriously. They'll listen to you, though. They'll listen to you, because... as sad as it is, your fictional life is worth more in the eyes of the people who live on my planet than my real one.

Well. Suppose that's all I've got running around up in my head, at least for now. Suppose I'll stop writing in favor of getting my tired and worried ass to bed.

I love you a whole lot. So please stay safe out there as you do your things. I'll do my best to trust that you will, okay? So do your best to trust that I'll do everything I can to keep myself afloat over here, too.

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[bosstoaster]

RE: the whole bot comment thing, I've heard on reddit that supposedly, this comment bot might be trying to test AO3's boundaries by pretending to be a real person, and then later whomever made that bot will then switch to being malicious. And like, on one hand? I can unfortunately see someone doing that what with all the hate AO3 gets, and the fact that there have been both the webnovel spam and the "AI detected" bot going around lately.

On the other hand, I will often leave comments like the bot comments, and I did so even back when I didn't have an account. This makes me feel like it'll just make people even more afraid to comment, lest they be mistaken for a bot.

What boundaries are there to test? AO3 does nothing to stop people from posting on anon, which is essentially what these supposed bot comments are doing. And when they do swap over to being 'malicious', it's not like AO3 detects them the way, like, Tumblr or Twitter do. AO3 relies pretty much entirely on reporting, as far as I can tell. Otherwise obvious spam comments would get found faster. There's nothing to test and no one to fool, and nothing to gain by pretending to write generally generic but otherwise perfectly fine comments. If there was a sudden HUGE flood of these on the latest fics or something, maaaybe? I wouldn't see a point but there'd at least a compelling argument. This just sounds like somebody noticed a pattern between a few comments they got or saw and decided to start a witch hunt over it.

This pattern which not only applies to a TON of people who comment from templates or who are ESL, but also applies to pretty much every professional email I've ever written (three short sentences with exactly one exclamation point). So, you know, someone who is trying to sound polite.

This is so completely nothing, and it's spreading like wildfire and making people feel bad for comments they wrote that are just fine. I find it very frustrating, especially when authors often have to beg on their knees for comments to begin with.

[siriannatan]

Charms of Accidents

I needed to write something to tell myself I still remember how to. So I wrote the idea I got this morning :}

I might write more but at the moment have no plans to.

Scott messed up. He knew it as soon as he woke up and realised a couple of facts. One, he wasn't in his apartment. Two, he was alone, so whoever he spent the night with was awake. Not what he usually would do. But, the third thing was... He could not recall anything after he left the club with the handsome ginger. Not one single thing. And fourth, possibly even worse, as he tried to move everything hurt. Like a lot.

He didn't accidentally sleep with an Other Worlder? Who are Other Worlders? All sorts of supernatural creatures. Mages, vampires, demons, dragons and so on. They had their own laws that human governments often honoured over their own. It was extremely dangerous for humans to interact with them even when sober. And Scott possibly landed with one while drunk. Very drunk. It was bad. He had to go home and soon. As far from here as possible.

"I wouldn't move if I were you," Scott's blood pretty much froze as he looked at the source of the voice. The handsome ginger from last night. Dressed in sweatpants and a simple T-shirt. Scott's blurry recollection of last evening had him in a black suit with a dark red shirt. There was not a scratch visible on him. He didn't look at all like he just woke up after a night of drinking and sex. Scott, no matter how hard he tried, never looked this good on a morning after. "The name's fWhip, since I'm pretty sure you must have forgotten most of last night, and I'm afraid I have to apologise," he spoke as he calmly approached the bed as Scott continued to struggle to sit up.

"What for?" Scott huffed as fWhip pushed him down.

"Accidentally marking you as mine," he said as if it wasn't a massive disaster. Being marked by an Other Worlder was bad for Scott. It was like a marriage. Unless there was a way to remove it, Scott was stuck with fWhip for the rest of his life. "And stop trying to sit up, it'll only make it hurt more. Once we talk I'll bring you food and all that," he huffed, baring his long, sharp-fanged teeth. 

A vampire. Scott was as good as dead. He was going to be fWhip's mobile snack until the vampire got bored of him. He went slack and let fWhip arrange him as he pleased. It didn't matter if he struggled, fWhip was in all ways superior to him. "Talk about what?" Scott asked, ignoring how pain lessened when he touched Scott. 

"What happens now, I can't just let you go, that'd be bad for both of us, especially you," fWhip started, keeping one hand on top of Scott's. "So it'll be best if you stay here and let me take care of you," Scott wanted to scream and protest but unfortunately fWhip was right. If he just wandered about with fWhip's mark on him he'd be in a lot of trouble. But it still stung. "I promise to make sure you're comfortable and want for nothing since it was my poor self-control that led to this," fWhip promised, yeah right, he was likely lying to keep Scott calm and controlled. But he did gently grab the hand he was constantly touching and gently kissed it. "So?"

"So what? Not like saying 'no' is an option for me," Scott huffed. In case fWhip wasn't lying, he'd live comfortably. He could take occasional biting. "You promise you're not lying and going to kill me?"

"If I wanted to do that you wouldn't even wake up," fWhip's words did nothing to calm Scott. "You're safe here," he added as if sensing the human's nervousness, and gave his forehead a soft kiss. "Stay here, I'll bring you food," he then announced and left Scott to hurt in the massive bed.

Scott sighed and deflated even further once alone. What a mess he got himself into. There wasn't even a mirror in the room. Maybe rumours of vampires having no reflection were true? Damn Other Worlders doing as they please. At least fWhip was handsome, even when dressed down.

He was pale, as expected from a vampire. His eyes were a very pretty shade of blue. Scott heard rumours that vampire's eyes turned red when they were hungry. If it were true fWhip ate recently. Last night possibly. Unfortunately, he had no idea how often a vampire might need to drink blood. And he was a bit freaked out to ask. With a hiss, he checked his neck as well as he could with no mirror. There should be a mirror in his bag, but that wasn't anywhere nearby.

"Don't worry, I ate before we met and won't need to for a while," fWhip was back, with a bed tray of breakfast. For an immortal with no need for food, he was doing great taking care of Scott so far. Other than 'unintentionally' marking him that is. "I'll need your address," he said, quite randomly as Scott eyed his food. Was it really safe?

"What for?" Scott asked, eyes snapping to the vampire.

"To go get your things," fWhip explained, putting an elegant notebook bound in black leather with a pen attached to it with a golden chain. Scott knew being marked and staying with fWhip meant he'd have to move his things. But it really sunk in right there. fWhip meant to keep him around for longer. Why else would he associate with him as far as to go to his apartment?

"I'll need my bag. My keys are there," Scott said after a deep breath. It was best for him to stay with fWhip. To both avoid his enemies, he did not doubt that fWhip had those and anyone else who would see to harm him because of his 'Other Worlder' relations. fWhip was the safest option even if some biting would be involved.

fWhip vanished one second and next was back, on the other side of the bed, with Scott's bag. "All that can wait, eat first," he said and settled on the bed next to Scott. One arm wrapped around Scott as well as he could with him half lying. It was comforting considering it lessened the pain. But also rather intimate. Well, by fWhip's standard, they were as good as married even if by accident. "You can ask anything, I understand it's all much," he offered as Scott ate very slowly.

"Can I have some clothes?" Scott asked before he could stop himself. fWhip didn't have to be in any way okay with him not being naked.

"Sure, but eat first," fWhip shockingly agreed and went to what had to be his closet and soon came back with a T-shirt and shorts for Scott. Maybe he was being honest about taking responsibility and taking care of Scott. "I'm not going to hurt you, you can relax, I won't even bite you if you're uncomfortable with it," he assured as he settled back on the bed.

"How often do you..." Scott for some reason felt weird thinking about fWhip biting someone else.

"About once a month, unless I have to be in the sun a lot or fight someone," fWhip explained with no hesitation. Scott internally awarded him a few 'trust points'. "If that happens then it might be two or three times a month. That is without totally draining a person," it weirdly calmed Scott. So his life wasn't in total danger even if...

Scott calmly finished eating and wrote his address for fWhip. The vampire told him to sleep, as he himself get dressed in a freaking suit. He looked unfairly good in one. Like really unfairly good. Was Scott going to have to wear suits near him? If he was ever taken to any Other Worlder functions then probably yes. With a proper marking of his connection to fWhip. A vampire's snack and arm candy. What a turn of life. And shockingly, now that he hurt a bit less and had eaten he wasn't all that against it.

"Just rest, I'll be back before you realise it," fWhip promised once he was dressed. And gave Scott's forehead another soft kiss. Scott just hummed. He was indeed feeling rather tired.

Scott woke up slightly confused but well-rested and in a negligible amount of pain. It was there but he could ignore it. Oh. And with an urge to see fWhip who was nowhere to be seen. "Liar," Scott mumbled as he got dressed. He froze when he heard someone. A female voice call out for fWhip.

There were no signs that fWhip lived with anyone. Not that Scott saw any more but his bedroom. But it just didn't feel like it. So he assumed it was some acquaintance. 

But what should he do? He had no way of contacting fWhip. But he also didn't want to be found in fWhip's bed. Wearing his clothes. If he could show fWhip's mark then maybe he'd feel comfortable facing this stranger. But he didn't even know where it was. Nowhere he could see without a mirror. He could only hope it was nowhere too indecent. 

"fWhip? Brother?" another call had Scott almost jumping up. Brother. One mystery resolved. It was fWhip's sibling. Less likely to attack Scott on the spot without an explanation from fWhip. With that hope, Scott went to find the voice. Hoping fWhip would be back soon.

In the living room, looking around was a ginger-haired woman. Clearly a vampire from what Scott knew about fWhip. And it was his sister, it'd be hard for her to not be one.  "I'm sorry but fWhip's not home," he said hiding as well as he could in the red T-shirt. 

The woman spun to stare at him. And sighed. "What. An. Idiot. Leaving a human alone? What if someone else came here?!"  she ranted, waving her arms. Scott just curled up by the wall. She was scary.

"Dear sister, please stop scaring my human," Scott almost jumped at fWhip's voice. And ran up to him as soon as he saw him. "Scott..." the vampire sighed petting his hair. "You should still be resting," he said but all it did was make Scott grab at his jacket. Gently, he didn't want to wrinkle it but still. "How about you start unpacking? You can move my stuff if you need, and I join you as soon as I get my sister to leave?" he offered and kissed the top of Scott's head.

Was fWhip really as fond of him as he seemed or was it the accidental mark? "Fine," Scott huffed, not even commenting on how the suitcase, which moved towards the bedroom on its own was clearly too small for all his stuff. He just assumed it was magic. fWhip was an Other Worlder after all. Scott would probably have to get used to weird things.

As soon as he the door closed he could hear the woman nagging fWhip. There was no other way to describe it.

"Why is there a human in your house?" she asked. Scott could imagine her arms were crossed and one-foot tapping.

"I accidentally marked him so I'm taking the responsibility," fWhip sighed. As if he really didn't want to explain. "Shouldn't you be happy I have SOME company? YOu always complain about how I never go anywhere and just stay home on my own?"

"So you didn't force him?" she asked.

"Gem. Dear sister, what about me gave you that idea?" fWhip chuckled. "It was an accident. I'd feel bad if he got killed, by either side, for my foolishness. Neither did I want to kill him which would be the only solution..."

"So what? You're going to keep him now? Like some pet?" Scott curled up. He did not like that word.

"Don't be ridiculous Gem, he's more of a guest," fWhip's response did not make him feel any better. Part of him hoped he was just saying it to get his sister to leave.

"A guest that shares your bed?" Oh. So there was only one? How... Unfortunate.

"Not like I use it much."

Scott could not listen to them for much longer and made his way to fWhip's closet. Which was massive and had plenty of free space and only minimal rearranging was needed to fit Scott's clothes. His electronics he just left on a low table in the bedroom. Just in time for fWhip to walk in. 

Blazer off and ready to be carelessly dropped to a chair. "I'm sorry I'm late, I got slightly lost," Scott nodded at his apology. "Scott? Are you hungry again?"

"That's not it... What are we exactly? I'll need to let a few people know where I went to and... I have no idea how to explain it without worrying anyone," Scott scrambled for a reason. 

"Well, by law I think the equivalent would be marriage but I'm not going to force you into it," fWhip settled next to Scott on the small couch. "So call it whatever you feel most comfortable with, I'm not going to be offended."

Scott hummed. Was he ready to say he got married? No. That he got a vampire boyfriend? A clingy one at that? Maybe. "So, boyfriends then?" he offered, cuddling up to fWhip who did not push him away.

"Sure, if that's what you want."

"Mhm... Is the mark making me clingy? I woke up annoyed you're not here," he huffed, moving to sit in fWhip's lap. 

"Believe it or not, I don't really know much about marks, I never really marked anyone before either. I could have asked Gem but I kinda wanted to be alone with you so... It's possible it's making us both clingy," he chuckled pulling the human into a loose hug. "So what are we doing now? Going out? Staying home? A friend of mine is throwing a party I could bring you along to, really show off?"

Scott didn't really mind being showed off by fWhip. But there was a thing he did have issues with. "I can dress up for you I guess, but... No biting anyone else," he huffed and kissed fWhip. They did not go anywhere or inform anyone about anything until the next day.