a-friendly-fangirl

[a-friendly-fangirl]

Ekko AGREED to use The GREY to neutralize the Chem-Barons.

Here's the analysis:

False, one-page or one-sentence ragebait posts always spread faster than detailed content, even though, to get an accurate picture, it's important to examine the details, not just take something out of context without meaning. If you're interested, you can find more in-depth analyses on my profile, such as why it was Heimerdinger, whose 200 years of neglect and inaction created the entire conflict between Zaun and Piltover.

Thank you for reading it!

[a-friendly-fangirl]

The number of people who try to quantify Caitlyn’s bad deeds to determine if she is redeemed or not is sickening. Especially because 9 times out of 10 they come to the conclusion that Caitlyn is beyond redemption and doesn’t deserve Vi or to be happy.

And what pisses me off is that this mindset is addressed IN THE SHOW ITSELF and it comes to a very different conclusion.

When confronted with her crimes by Vi, Caitlyn acknowledges them by shouting “I KNOW!” But then she turns around and says that no amount of good deeds erases their crimes. She’s talking about Jinx in that moment, but it’s pretty clear that she’s thinking about herself.

She’s so remorseful about what she’s done she’s looking for ways to punish herself. That’s why she goes to see Jinx. She’s looking for justification to keep hating Jinx so that her own crimes will be justified in capturing her.

But she doesn’t get that. Instead she gets a sad, depressed, suicidal little girl, who isn’t eating and who is empathetic to Caitlyn’s own grief. She even apologizes for killing her mother.

And Caitlyn can’t handle it. She needs to justify capturing Jinx so that she can wipe away her own crimes, and Jinx doesn’t allow her to do that. Caitlyn realizes that she’s responsible for a lot of the hate that caused Jinx to lash out in the first place. She’s responsible for what she did to the undercity to capture her. She’s responsible…

“No amount of good deeds can erase our crimes.” She says.

But the show Arcane doesn’t leave it there. Because the show doesn’t BELIEVE that sentimentality is true. Arcane proposes that yes, actually, you ARE allowed to break free from the cycle and choose to do good for yourself despite EVERYTHING you’ve done to others. That you’re allowed to change.

You can’t erase your crimes. But you can choose to learn and grow from them.

And this is the part of the “quantifying redemption” that many fans seem to miss. There’s no algorithmic formula to make amends for the pain and suffering you caused. And there shouldn’t be. This isn’t a numbers or points game. This is real life. And in real life things only change for the better when YOU choose to do better.

Caitlyn may never live down the pain she caused in the undercity. But she can CHOOSE to have empathy. She can CHOOSE to do the right thing. She can CHOOSE not to repeat her mistakes.

And that’s exactly what we see her doing. She lets go of her hatred of Jinx. She lets Vi try to save her sister. She re-establishes the council and ends the martial law. She resigns from the council and installs Sevika on it to help the undercity have a voice. She fights to defend the city from Ambessa and loses an eye in the process.

Nothing will ever truly wipe her slate clean. But that doesn’t mean she can’t try to do better going forward because it’s the right thing to do. And Vi is the person who is going to keep her grounded. She’s the dirt under her fingernails. Vi will always be her reminder to do good.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

The number of people who try to quantify Caitlyn’s bad deeds to determine if she is redeemed or not is sickening. Especially because 9 times out of 10 they come to the conclusion that Caitlyn is beyond redemption and doesn’t deserve Vi or to be happy.

And what pisses me off is that this mindset is addressed IN THE SHOW ITSELF and it comes to a very different conclusion.

When confronted with her crimes by Vi, Caitlyn acknowledges them by shouting “I KNOW!” But then she turns around and says that no amount of good deeds erases their crimes. She’s talking about Jinx in that moment, but it’s pretty clear that she’s thinking about herself.

She’s so remorseful about what she’s done she’s looking for ways to punish herself. That’s why she goes to see Jinx. She’s looking for justification to keep hating Jinx so that her own crimes will be justified in capturing her.

But she doesn’t get that. Instead she gets a sad, depressed, suicidal little girl, who isn’t eating and who is empathetic to Caitlyn’s own grief. She even apologizes for killing her mother.

And Caitlyn can’t handle it. She needs to justify capturing Jinx so that she can wipe away her own crimes, and Jinx doesn’t allow her to do that. Caitlyn realizes that she’s responsible for a lot of the hate that caused Jinx to lash out in the first place. She’s responsible for what she did to the undercity to capture her. She’s responsible…

“No amount of good deeds can erase our crimes.” She says.

But the show Arcane doesn’t leave it there. Because the show doesn’t BELIEVE that sentimentality is true. Arcane proposes that yes, actually, you ARE allowed to break free from the cycle and choose to do good for yourself despite EVERYTHING you’ve done to others. That you’re allowed to change.

You can’t erase your crimes. But you can choose to learn and grow from them.

And this is the part of the “quantifying redemption” that many fans seem to miss. There’s no algorithmic formula to make amends for the pain and suffering you caused. And there shouldn’t be. This isn’t a numbers or points game. This is real life. And in real life things only change for the better when YOU choose to do better.

Caitlyn may never live down the pain she caused in the undercity. But she can CHOOSE to have empathy. She can CHOOSE to do the right thing. She can CHOOSE not to repeat her mistakes.

And that’s exactly what we see her doing. She lets go of her hatred of Jinx. She lets Vi try to save her sister. She re-establishes the council and ends the martial law. She resigns from the council and installs Sevika on it to help the undercity have a voice. She fights to defend the city from Ambessa and loses an eye in the process.

Nothing will ever truly wipe her slate clean. But that doesn’t mean she can’t try to do better going forward because it’s the right thing to do. And Vi is the person who is going to keep her grounded. She’s the dirt under her fingernails. Vi will always be her reminder to do good.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

It's almost impossible to discuss Cait's actions because people exaggerate them to the extreme just to shut down the argument

>directs gas to the chembarons, Jinx's hideouts and the shimmer facilities as she said she would

>complainers say she's gassing Zaun like the whole city is drowning in it

>Cait jabs her rifle in to Vi's side (the one where she wasn't stabbed by the way)

>complainers say she's the most coldhearted, abusive bitch ever for knowingly attacking Vi's healing wound (nevermind that Jinx does the same thing and she actually DOES strike right where Sevika stabbed her)

I'm perfectly happy to talk about the morals of her actions but people just can't stop misrepresenting what happened in the show.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

I want to talk about THIS moment. Right before. There's a TON of people misreading Caitlyn's intent because she's using such a playful demeanor after Vi's sorrowful self-deprecation. To be honest, it's the best response she could have had, and the best tactic. Her demeanor serves as a stark contrast to the spiral of self hatred that Vi is going down, and it's an excellent distraction. Caitlyn is stopping her line of thinking, right then and there, and she does it while delivering one of the most romantic and understated declarations of love I've ever seen.

Stay with me here.

Let's be very clear: Caitlyn did NOT come to the cell with the goal of seducing Vi. Not even. How do we know? Aside from several context clues that come before this scene, the way Caitlyn responds to the kiss is very telling:

See how long it takes Cait to even register what the fuck is going on?? She's literally like "oh. OH. we're kissing? WE'RE KISSING." And Vi also OPENS HER EYES very briefly, to check that Caitlyn is as into this as she is, right as Cait settles into the kiss, likely sensing her hesitation/delayed reaction. This scene is NOT Caitlyn seducing Vi. This scene is Caitlyn giving herself to Vi, and Vi choosing exactly what she wants to do with her, which is VERY different.

What does Caitlyn say right before the kiss? She says, "Do you really think I needed all the guards at the hexgates?" Translation: I left Jinx's cell unguarded on purpose. I want you to know that I heard you during our last conversation. I want you to know that I trust you. I want you to know that my love and care for you is more important than my need to sate my grief and desire for revenge. I choose you.

And following: "Sorry to say, you've grown a bit predictable." Translation: I know you. I see you. I knew you would choose this, coming after your sister, and I facilitated the circumstances in which you COULD choose this. You don't choose wrong. You choose love, and I understand that now. I want you to know that I support your choices, and they won't cost you the people you care about, at least not me, not anymore. I know that you'll always choose your sister, and I've made peace with that. What you want is what I want.

That is MONUMENTAL. That's quite possibly one of the most romantic things I've ever seen in media. Because who the hell has the guts to give up their grief and forgive their mother's murderer, all for love? That's a level of sacrifice that not enough people are acknowledging.

People say Caitlyn never changed, never felt remorse, never grew from the bad choices she made. I say wrong. And this was the turning point.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

I did some research and ...

VIOLET / VIOLA REPRESENTS SAPPHIC LOVE / FEMALE LOVE

And where did we see petals of Violets?!

While Violets are mostly for the romantic part of female love, I kinda thought if it also can mean mutual love between women, like daughter and mother. The two had their moments of not getting along on screen, but it doesn't mean they didn't love each other.

And for the most obvious part, during the burial of Caitlyn's mother, her entire world became back and white, except for one person:

Vi / Violet

Bonus: When Caitlyn was imagining herself shooting Jinx, we saw petals of Violets flowing around. It both can symbolize the petals of the funeral of Caitlyn's mother, the fault Caitlyn is applying on Jinx, and the fact that petals are flowing in front of Jinx.

The petals were in her way.

The VIOLET PETALS were in her way of Jinx

VIOLET WAS

IN HER

WAY !!!

[a-friendly-fangirl]

No, because what do you mean Arcane has completely rewritten the rulebook on queer representation in media, and it did it so effortlessly that it puts so many other shows to shame. Like, how are you going to tell me this animated series—ostensibly a spin-off of a video game—has given us some of the most nuanced, unapologetically powerful sapphic characters ever without reducing them to stereotypes, side plots, or, worse, trauma porn?

Vi and Caitlyn? Their dynamic is ELECTRIC. You’ve got Vi, the rough-edged, fiercely loyal, scrappy brawler with a tender side that could wreck anyone emotionally, and Caitlyn, the sharp, principled, deeply empathetic enforcer with a heart of gold. The way their relationship is built on mutual respect and trust while navigating all the insane, tragic chaos around them? Literal chef's kiss. And not once do we get the tired, lazy "coming out" narrative or the "but what about the gays?" rhetoric. Their queerness isn’t the story—it’s just a beautifully natural part of who they are. And THAT is revolutionary.

And let’s not even stop there. This show handles gender like it’s been waiting for everyone else to catch up. Characters like Sevika, who could give you chills with her sheer badassery and gender-nonconforming energy, exist unapologetically without the narrative ever feeling the need to spoon-feed us explanations. It’s just there, woven seamlessly into the fabric of the world.

So many shows claim to want to "normalize" queer relationships or push the envelope, but Arcane has quietly dominated the space by just writing characters who feel authentic. Their struggles are about class, power, loyalty, trauma, not token representation or forced diversity. This show said, “We’re just going to make some of the most layered, compelling characters you’ve ever seen—and oh yeah, some of them are gay. Keep up.”

Like, the bar wasn’t just raised—it was launched into the stratosphere. What do you mean this level of representation isn’t the norm yet? Arcane said, “We’re not asking for permission to exist. We’re just existing.” And that? That is art.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!!

Even if most people are just joking, it bothers me when other people actually think it's all due to a failed relationship when the problem is actually bigger than that. Vi getting to this point isn't because she broke up with Caitlyn. She has bigger, more difficult things going on than just a failed relationship. Adding to that the most painful factor for Vi is when she fights Jinx, which is one of the factors that really affects her. She went from being protective of her sister to "hurting" her sister. (Even though her sister Jinx brought this on herself, but anyway)

"Losing Caitlyn was the last straw, as they say"

Caitlyn was the one who got Vi out of prison, She got her out of the worst place Vi had ever been in. And Caitlyn was the last person Vi could trust and now she's gone.

I mean you can see she wasn't that miserable when she was in prison because she said herself, "The only thing that kept me going, was the thought of getting back to you." Now her sister is gone and Caitlyn is gone, the only two people left in her life. It's only natural that she would come to this point after literally losing everything.

Vi now has no hope no purpose and no one left after all the people she's lost along the way. It's really hard for Vi.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

Pivotal moments for Caitlyn Kirraman

**Spoilers for all of Arcane**

Much Like Vi I wanted to do a run-down of the moments for Caitlyn's character I see as showing us who she is/having the biggest impact for her character. As always I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read these as well all celebrate these amazing characters and story. I feel Caitlyn's arc was massively under-appreciated in season 2 by the fandom and hope this lends itself to backing that up.

*Side Note- I'm doing these in order in her life not necessarily how we see them in the show*

Helping Jayce:

We are not granted a lot of time with young Caitlyn when compared to say, Vi or Jinx, which makes sense of course given the focus of the story. However, what we are given perfectly demonstrate the bedrock of who we come to know. She is shown as bright and curious and eager, helping him carry supplies to the lab. She is also shown even at a young age standing up for Jayce to her parents, sitting out in the rain to speak with him, and as shown above, identifying herself as a misfit. Now on the surface its easy to say she falls into the "rich kid who doesn't belong" trope. But as we come to know her she is truly so much more than that.

Who Do You Shoot For?:

Building on Caitlyn's compassion and defiance in the face of the system she is born into, we have her shooting competition with Grayson. First of all we just get a glimpse into the tough, skilled marksman she will become. But going deeper, we have her interaction with Grayson at the party. Once again she demonstrates that ever-so-polite defiance, humorously confronting the sheriff of Piltover for letting her win. But its their conversation after that's important. The sheriff tells her being skilled with her rife means protecting people, and Caitlyn must decide who she is shooting for. I would liken this to Vi's lessons with Vander. Because while we see Caitlyn go through so much pain and darkness, ultimately when she finds her way back who is she? A leader will go toe-to-toe with anyone for those she wants to protect. For those she shoots for.

The Airship incident:

This our first real moment with Caitlyn as a character and it tells us several important things about her. Leading up to it, we learn her parents disapprove of her being an enforcer, and manipulated her posting to keep her close by for which she is resentful. This is not surprising, as we come to learn her genuine drive to help and make a difference. She goes to investigate the airship alone. We see her detective's mind at work for the first time, playing out the incident. We then see her interaction with a massive, tattooed undercity criminal who is wounded. She is kind, gentle and respectful despite her role as an enforcer. Furthermore, when Marcus confronts her, he says she's interfering AGAIN. Caitlyn may be naïve and sheltered when we meet her, but she is not PLAYING at being an enforcer. She wants to help, and is actively trying to figure out what's going on in the undercity, apparently long before she even meets Vi.

The Hexgem theft:

This marks Caitlyn's first interaction with Jinx, which could not be more important to her Arc. Her very first impression of the woman she could never have known would impact her life so greatly, is a manic terrorist who lights a building on fire and fakes that a child is trapped inside before setting off bombs that kill multiple of Caitlyn's peers. Also of note, although not unexpected with what we have seen from her so far is that she rushes in to help and is the first one to notice the danger despite being a rookie enforcer.

Meeting Vi:

Meeting and freeing Vi is Caitlyn first step into the wider world around her and has immeasurable impact on her character. Her love story with Vi aside (I love it to, its just I could write pages on them alone and I am trying to cover all of her arc in this post haha) we also see her head strong, determined nature in this moment. Remember, she has already been reprimanded for unauthorized investigations into Silco and the undercity. We have been told she has a history of this. When Jayce goes to see her after the explosion she is still investigating, and now she fakes Jayce's authorization to free a woman she doesn't know in order to chase her lead. SHE. WILL. NOT. QUIT. Sound like she may be a good fit for a certain head strong boxer who lacks patience but is always honest? Anyway, the other thing we see here that is a small moment and not unexpected given what we have seen from her, is her disgust and discomfort over how the prison has treated Vi.

Saving Vi Part 1:

Vi is almost certainly about to be killed when Caitlyn intervenes. She accurately strikes Sevika multiple times with her rifle and is controlled and calm. At a first glance her accuracy and skill are plenty commendable. She hits the same spot with accuracy, lands with clear athleticism to join Vi, is calm, collected, confidant and restrained enough not to Kill Sevika. As soon as the threat is passed she tends to her wounded ally. Now here's the thing. I didn't do a bullet point for it, but consider Caitlyn's behavior following Vi down into the lanes. Part of it is of course that it was unfamiliar and shocking when vi took off, and Caitlyn just wasn't used to that sort of thing. But she was kind of adorably clumsy and unsure. She never really moves with confidence and strength, until of course she pulls our a rifle and starts blasting a woman who just stabbed her new friend with pint point accuracy three times. The moment someone's life is at risk Caitlyn shows us this entirely new side of herself. Perhaps the side of her that will someday lead the front lines in the battle of Piltover?

Saving Vi part two:

n Caitlyn's continuing efforts to save Vi we delve deeper into what we have already seen from her. At the very basic level, she barely knows Vi. Yes of course we are seeing the beginnings of their feelings for each-other. But that aside she is a young woman in her early twenties. She has followed this woman she barely knows into this very dangerous place, saved her from being killed, followed her even deeper while caring for her, and now she follows a shimmer mutated Huck to the "Doctor" to save Vi. I went to Netflix and counted while writing this. It takes no more than ten seconds for her to surrender her prized rifle that is likely custom made for her and she clearly loves, all to save Vi's life. She then hugs the grotesquely mutated Huck out of gratitude after being kind to him, and showing him respect for his help. She does not shy away, is not disgusted. And in fact she lunges for the hug. This ties to her conversation with Vi during this ordeal before she gives up her rifle. In which she is speaking on her belief that Zaunites and Topsiders are all just people. She does not see them as different.

The Firelights:

To me this is a massively important point for Caitlyn for a few reasons.

Caitlyn & Vi: They start off bickering. Blaming each other for what they have played close to the vest. But as soon as Vi is taken away what does Caitlyn do? She is concerned and afraid for her. And when she sees Ekko she demands Vi be released and offers herself instead.

in General: She speaks to her desire to see an end to the killing. Its clear she hasn't known how bad things actually are with the enforcers and the undercity, and is understandably resistant at first. But after only a few moments, she acknowledges Ekko would be within his rights to keep the gemstone but "The Cycle of Violence Will Never Stop" (sound familiar?). She quickly agrees to let Ekko be the one to give the stone to the council, still believing in peace and trying to play a part in making it happen.

**Side note: I didn't do a whole point on it because it's really about Vi and Jinx. But we need to make note that before this Caitlyn has her second interaction with Jinx in which Jinx shows herself to be paranoid, unstable and violent**

The Bridge:

The attack on the bridge is immensely impactful on Caitlyn's character and what I like to think of as the true beginning of Caitlyn's destabilization, leading to her descent into the dark. Thus far, we have watched this extraordinary young woman weather some truly insane events when you consider the life she has lead until now. Even still, she has remained poised, brave, respectful and open. Of course she has heard talk about brutality of her people toward the undercity. She has admitted it was wrong and wants to see things made right. But that is very different than the highest member of her organization shooting her new friend in the chest and getting ready to kill her. Its a sudden and violent in-the-moment thrusting of reality upon her that she has no choice but to believe. Furthermore, we mark her next interaction with Jinx, who has now almost killed her a third time, as well as almost killing Vi and they believe having killed Ekko and who knows how many enforcers.

Testifying To The Council:

So I know I am repeating myself some here. But that is intentional. The show is driving home for us that Caitlyn is truly a good person. Everything she has been through up until now with Vi is intense, scary, and destabilizing. She and Vi have very real feelings for each other and we end this section with very sad moment in which it seems hopeless for them. But its leading up to that I want to discuss. Caitlyn stands before the council of Piltover. The richest and most powerful people in her immediate world. With her mother on the council it feels reasonable to assume she knows these people. They probably have watched her grow up. And yet in her early twenties after earning the knowledge the hard way what does she do? She stands before them and calls them out for their failures. Including herself in that. She takes a stand against the neglect by Piltover that made the people of the undercity vulnerable to dangerous criminals. She commends Vi for putting herself at risk in helping Caitlyn, and never throws Vi under the bus as Jinx's older sister. And when Vi gets upset and leaves Caitlyn tries to get her to stay still insisting their must be a way.

Abduction From Home/Dinner Party:

In her next interaction with Jinx, Caitlyn is taken from the safety of her own home, and held hostage until Jinx initiates her dinner party with Vi. The events of the dinner party set the stage for the next chapter of the story dramatically affecting every character we meet, and Caitlyn is no exception. As this is the end of season 1, a brief refresher of who we have come to know up until this point is in order:

Clever, bright and loyal young girl who will defy convention to stand up for those she loves

Tenacious and dedicated teenage girl who doesn't want to earn her victories and is pondering things like who she is shooting for

Dedicated rookie enforcer who will not be deterred from investigating wrong doing and corruption no matter the cost

Open minded and trusting young woman in her early twenties who saves someone she barely knows life, even at the cost of her prized weapon and her own safety multiple times

Displays her desire to see peace with the undercity multiple times and verbally equates the undercity and topsiders in terms of humanity going against the classist behavior of characters like Marcus for example.

Treats Vi with tenderness, loyalty and trust even before they really get to know each-other.

Now. The reason I ran that down again is because THAT young woman in her early twenties is the person you see in the GIF above you. Jinx has now tried to kill her repeatedly. Killed her fellow enforcers. Tried to kill the woman she is having feelings for, even though that woman is her sister. Has abducted her from her bathroom naked, and now has her here. She looks utterly and completely terrified and I don't blame her. And to top it all off, after hesitating to take a shot at Jinx due to her feelings for Vi, Caitlyn is knocked out violently and THEN HAS TO WATCH JINX KILL HER MOTHER.

RETURN TO PILTOVER:

Caitlyn and Vi return to the upper city in the wake of immense tragedy and we see Caitlyn trying to hold it all together. Her whole world has gone black & White except for Violet(s). She is trying so hard to keep it together but already we can see the cracks forming. Even with all that has happened she maintains her testimony of Jinx being the only issue which is instrumental in preventing more violent Piltover retaliation. But we must also recognize her (totally understandable just jarring) desire to end Jinx's laugh forever, Mel's comments to Jayce regarding Caitlyn hiding it well but being in "So Much Pain", and Caitlyn asking Vi to put on the uniform of an Enforcer, when she knows Vi's history. Caitlyn is suffering and trying to hard to hold things together.

The Memorial Attack:

Caitlyn is drowning in grief. Her relationship with Vi is tenuous. She is expected to rise to meet her mothers role in city. She is holding on for dear life to her ideals and perceptions of reality that have shaped her as a person. Now the attack on the memorial is incredible as a fan for many reasons. But for Caitlyn we need to keep two things in mind as we move forward that at extremely impactful in understanding her:

There is no reason to think she and the others would not assume that Jinx had ordered this attack, or at the very least assisted in some way. The last they saw of Vi's sister she had just struck at the very heart of Piltover's government and its entirely reasonable to assume this attack is an extension of that. So I think its fair to say we can consider this Caitlyn's next interaction with Jinx even if its all mental.

Up until now, Caitlyn has never used any broad-stroke negativity toward the people of the undercity. She has addressed individuals, or perhaps a specific group of people in the undercity such as Silco's goons. But never called them Trenchers, Sump rats or any of that other stuff. Here in her rage, we see her refer to the people who attacked as Animals. Now in the moment, its entirely reasonable when pertaining to the attackers. But it is a noticable shift in her that tells us she is already (quite understandably) being swallowed by what happened.

The Strike Team:

Caitlyn leading the strike team into Zaun and utilizing the grey has been the source of much controversy. Its a clear escalation in her willingness to do violence against the undercity but when you consider everything we have talked about its hardly a shock. However, this show does a good job of letting us know Caitlyn is not totally lost to her pain. All we have to do is think critically:

While the use of the grey is extremely dark and absolutely morally questionable, the fandom's decision to portray it as mustard gas/sarin/pick your lethal poison is nonsense. We have seen multiple characters exposed to it multiple times and live. Its debilitating in the moment and uncomfortable and I'm sure is unhealthy over long exposure. Its tear gas.

Caitlyn's small targeted force is the alternative to full-scale invasion with hex tech armed enforcers. As I have said in various posts, by this point in the story Piltover retaliating is not an if. its a when and how bad. Caitlyns plan is the only reason an army of Enforcers does not march into the undercity at this point.

All that to say this. While she is clearly heading down a dark path, excising the hyperbole of the fan-base determined to demonize her and taking into account the whole of the circumstances surrounding this part of the story we are shown Caitlyn is still in there. But she is losing the fight with her inner-demons.

The Kiss:

We all cheered here. I did. You know you did. But I think we all knew the heartbreaking truth here as well. It was far too late for her to keep her promise to Vi. And in truth, it wasn't a fair thing for Vi to ask (BEFORE YOU COME FOR ME- Vi is my favorite character, and I have written extensively in her defense against the absolutely inane criticisms people have been levelling at her character). It's not Vi's fault, she has lost everyone she loves and is terrified watching the last person she has left be warped by the darkness in their lives. But when you consider the totality of paradigm-shifting suffering Caitlyn has endured since meeting Vi, I don't know how anyone couldn't change.

I have seen people say that Caitlyn was wrong to promise Vi. Wrong to kiss her in this moment. Those people are holding these characters to unreasonable standards in the extreme. We are seeing Caitlyn trying for the woman she loves. She sees the vulnerability and fear in Vi, the woman she loves so much, who she has been through so much with (and who has donned the Enforcer uniform for her) and of course she has a surge of love and a desire to comfort Vi. The love and tenderness is undeniable. But when you take in the context of the situation, It feels like we are waiting for the floor to fall out from under us. AND BOY DOES IT.

The Battle/The Break up/The Rise of the Commander:

I group these together because really its the transition of Caitlyn as we know her into "The Commander". This whole section is in a word, heartbreaking. We see Caitlyn fighting tooth and nail against Sevika, she likely saves Vi's life as it seems like Isha's gun was going to go off (whether the child meant it to or not), and Vi stops Caitlyn from taking the shot. Leading to Caitlyn lashing out in the worst way, telling Vi she is no different than the woman who killed Caitlyn's mother (AKA the version of Vi's sister Caitlyn knows Vi carries immense guilt over) and ending her status as the only enforcer never to abuse Vi, leaving her holding her stomach and crying on the floor while Caitlyn abandons her. We then see Caitlyn chosen as the commander, taking her place by Ambessa's side, becoming someone who would betray everything she used to stand for .

Its easy to look at this, and feel anger at Caitlyn. Especially as someone who has always connected with Vi's character and as someone who really loves their love story it leaves you feeling violated. But that's the thing, it should. We are not watching Caitlyn choose power out of a desire to destroy her enemies or because she thinks she deserves it. We are watching the tragic culmination of this brave, compassionate, brilliant and tenacious young woman being swallowed by the darkness. What's the line from Hamilton? "There are moments when your in so deep, it feels easier to just swim down". She has lost her mother, her sense of safety, her belief in the system of law and order she has lived her whole life by, and now the woman she loves. And in swoops Ambessa, a warlord. A woman renowned for her cleverness and manipulation. She takes this vulnerable, grieving, isolated and angry young woman and tells her she will get her justice. Caitlyn never had a chance.

**A small pause to discuss grief and peoples absolutely insane take on Caitlyn's handling of hers**

I am going to take a second here before we move on because due to the rushed pacing of season 2 Caitlyn doesn't get the detail she should have after this point, and because the discussion of her loss and grief is essential in understanding how this all happened. This is one of those things I have written about before but peoples dogmatic opposition to media literacy continues so here we go! "Ku Klux Kirraman!", "Oh the people of the undercity live in constant pain and death but Caitlyn loses a single family member and starts gassing kids?!"

To put it simply my friends. Grief is not a contest. Yes, of course the people growing up in the undercity have a much better understanding of death and grief than Caitlyn. up until the events of this story, she has lived a life of peace, and privilege, and comfort . And that's not a bad thing. ideally all children would know such a life if we could work our will upon the world right? But what it means for her is that when she does experience that loss, to say nothing of it being at the hands of a woman who has tried to kill her repeatedly, tried to kill the woman she loves, killed her peers, and abducted her naked from her own bathroom, Caitlyn's entire world is shifted. I have mentioned multiple times during this whole thing. She is only in her early twenties. That is so young.. so fucking young to have your world shift SO VIOLENTLY in such a short time. And in the standard incredible fashion of this show, they have addressed this concept already. Remember this?

Vi is angry at Jayce for bowing out due to the under city child's death. And for her, for the way she grew up she is totally justified in feeling that way. She grew up surrounded by death. But its just too much for Jayce.

I sincerely hope all of you reading this never have to cope with the loss of a loved one but we all know that's not reality. So if you are one of the people demonizing Caitlyn for what happens here because Zaunites have it worse I'll ask you this. The last time you lost someone, did you chastise yourself because someone somewhere has it worse? No. Because that's unreasonable, illogical, and would be a cruel standard to hold yourself to. Grief is achingly, agonizingly personal to each of us. And while it does not justify Caitlyn's actions, you are simply blind folding yourself to the humanity of this character by ignoring it

Months as the Commander:

As I said unfortunately we don't get to see a lot of Caitlyn "as the commander" but we do learn some things. There are check-points in Zaun, they are imprisoning people, and under the oppressions she has allowed to flourish the Noxians are able to do things like violently arrest people for having a non-violent rally in the Undercity itself. THINGS ARE NOT GREAT. But there some things of note I want to discuss in understanding Caitlyn's state of mind during this time:

The top GIF is not long enough but watching the scene you can see how distant Caitlyn is, how cold. She is not a "happy-go-lucky" facist gleefully imposing her will. We are actively watching someone in so much pain and so buried by her mistakes she doesn't know how to find her way out.

2. All is not lost however. She discusses her issues with the Noxians behavior, she openly questions Ambessa, she has forbidden the use of the cells where she found the love of her life, and despite her mentor's glee over the opportunity to utilize Singed and his knowledge. Caitlyn knows him for what he is, a monster.

Reunited With Vi:

The pacing just takes off at a dead sprint once Vi and Caitlyn find each other so I will touch briefly on the various points I want to for this section. I will say this, I know we all have feelings on how they handled Vi and Caitlyn's reconciliation. I am of the opinion that it was justified by what they showed us completely, but it was still rushed. Like they got the right answer on the math question but only shared the basics of every step to solving it if that makes sense.

Saving Vander

Vi and Caitlyn have this first interaction after so long and its so clear they have both changed so much. But what matters is this. Even after everything Caitlyn has done, Vi trusts her with the truth (Because Vi refuses to give up on those she loves), and Caitlyn immediately is on board. This happens so quickly and we only see them discuss it a little, but we need to think about what this means. Caitlyn finds out the "Weapon" is Vi's dad, and she is ready to turn on Ambessa, the enforcers with her, and the whole system. All for the woman she loves

2. The Battle of the Commune:

So I couldn't find a good GIF for it but even before this moment while Caitlyn is angry when she sees Jinx she doesn't make a move toward her. Then we hit this moment here. If you flash back to the battle that ended in Caitlyn breaking Vi's heart, Caitlyn wanted to take a shot that very likely could have killed a child if it meant hurting jinx. Now Jinx is running with her back to Caitlyn and ALL she cares about is getting to Vi

3. Taking Accountability:

We find out in this confrontation that although Jinx is in jail, it is because she surrendered. Not because Caitlyn ordered it. We also have a few key examples of Caitlyn owning what she has done:

"I KNOW!"- when confronted by Vi over letting Ambessa poison her heart

"We can't erase our mistakes"- She doesn't say "Jinx" can't take back her mistakes. She says "We" and "Our". She is clearly remorseful.

This rolls directly into her conversation with Jinx in which we see even more that Caitlyn knows what she has done:

"No good deed can erase OUR crimes"- Once again holding herself to the same standard as the woman who killed her mother. Holding herself accountable

"I've hated myself"- This could literally not be more clear

*On Cait and Jinx*: I've touched on this before but the parallels between these two are phenomenal. Broken, vulnerable, isolated grieving young women taken in by older, cleverer mentors with their own agendas but who care about them directing their pain for their own purposes. They then both have to learn to end the cycle, or the killing will never stop. Damn this show is so good.

Freeing Jinx:

Caitlyn made a lot of mistakes. That's not a secret. There were reasons as I and many and others have explained. But in this moment, she has intentionally paved the way for the woman she loves, to free her little sister from Jail. This comes after Cait admitting she doesn't want to hate Jinx any more. The cycle has to end. And Caitlyn admitting she has made mistakes, she has hated herself, she has lost herself to the darkness she now knows she has inside as well. And on top of that, she is here showing Vi that Vi is not alone, that Vi is loved, and that she knows Vi so well she knew what she would do and tried to help. its beautiful, its heartwarming, and after watching who Caitlyn was be shattered into pieces, we are now seeing her re-forged, stronger and more beautiful.

Commander Indeed:

Here we have Caitlyn becoming the commander she should have been. I believe I saw a post that one of the voice actors of the show suggested Caitlyn did nothing during the final battle and got her happy ending. Lets recap shall we:

Leads her troops from the front

Tries to take out Ambessa early and spare bloodshed

We have the bad-ass scene of her fighting with the mask taking out multiple soldiers

Even with a rifle at the back of her head she disables Maddie and tries to take out Ambessa

With a knife in her side and exhausted and scared she challenges A WARLORD OF NOXUS to a fight. "Shut Up and Fight!"

Sacrifices her own eye to take Ambessa out of the fight.

This is all pretty clear cut but I mean god damn. Her character evolution is absolutely staggering.

The End:

Caitlyn ends her story (for now anyway.. looking at your Riot) with the woman she loves. She has surrendered her spot on the Council to Sevika officially granting the undercity a place at the table. And we see her pondering the hex-gate ventilation system, perhaps giving us some hope that Jinx will return as well. I totally understand there are things people wanted to see with Caitlyn that we didn't get to see. But all we can control is what we were given. And when you look at the story of Caitlyn Kiramman, Born in wealth and privilege but with dreams of helping people, to being swallowed by grief, to finding common ground with the woman who took her mother from her, to rising as a leader who doesn't ask her people to fight when she won't and who willingly sacrifices herself for those who look follow her, I'd say she has one hell of an arc. I hope I did her some justice. This actually ended up being longer than i planned but man the more I think about her the more in-depth her story gets. I appreciate all of you.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

I need to get this out, because this moment baffled me at first.

Vi is convinced that she's lost everyone, and it's not quite her lowest, but she is turning all the pain of having lost her sister and her happy little family from Act 2 onto herself. I always make the wrong choice and because of that I've lost everyone.

And she starts this little vent off with Go on, say I told you so.

She thinks Caitlyn is here to berate her for siding with her sister again, but Caitlyn surprises her. Caitlyn instead comes clean about having known all along that Vi was going to choose her sister.

And not only did she know, but that she supported it.

Caitlyn went "vi is going to try and break her sister out. i will remove the barriers to their reunion."

SO from Vi's perspective, she's just had her resurrected father die, her sister walk away--choose to leave--and now she might lose Caitlyn too because Vi "chose wrong" again, BUT instead she is met with acceptance. And this is more than Caitlyn accepting that Vi is always going to choose her sister, this is also Caitlyn accepting that Vi is going to fuck up (something Vander didn't give her much room for with all that leader talk) and accepting just how much Vi's family means to her. This one act washes away all that "its her blood in your veins" crap.

This was Caitlyn fully accepting who Vi is and who she's been and where she's from. And she did it with a smirk and some swagger.

Yeah, I'd of grabbed her and kissed her too even if that was .5 seconds after my sister basically said she was going to end it all.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

am i crazy if i say that i think caitlyn is doing the knee thing in this clip and that’s why vi goes on her tippy toes…. vi’s face? it sounds like there’s a little breathy moan (i might just be delusional)? the way caitlyn’s foot lifts up? if you watch it slower it’s easier to see but she’s definitely doing the knee thing to vi.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

Probably a bit of a hot take, and definitely petty fandom salt, but i’ve come to notice that in recent years, with most fandom spaces becoming puritanical in their efforts to ice out anything that can be labeled toxic, or anything that just doesn't fit the fandom’s prevalent opinions on a situation or character–a phenomenon that has only been exacerbated by TikTok and the overuse of “therapy-speak”--there seems to be a general lack of nuance and/or sense of media literacy in most vocal fandom spaces when it comes to a story that is not just black and white.

Arcane is one of the most recent example of this, with (arcane s2 spoilers ahead) characters caitlyn and vi being discussed pretty heavily with the terms like “domestic abuse” and “abuser apologism” particularly when it comes to caitlyn’s act of jabbing her rifle at vi’s side before walking away, leaving vi anguished. Now, i’m not saying domestic abuse is not real–i’m just saying, that in this instance, I don't believe that the act was domestic violence, nor do i believe that any of the parties that make up CaitVi are abusers.

Arcane itself is a complex story with heart shattering situations that the characters find themselves in constantly, often putting them at odds with their morals, the morals of their environment, and the morals of the audience. Do I think caitlyn was right to jab her rifle at vi? No. But we as an audience can tell that neither does Caitlyn herself. Neither does Vi. But when Caitlyn did so, it was when she was under immense emotional duress, her mother’s killer getting away, and she was blocked from taking vengeance by the person she trusted the most. When she said the horrible things she did, she was hurting and angry and lashing out–she was punching the walls like a woman gone. And why is it that we can offer characters like Jinx the grace to absolve her of her crimes due to her own psychotic breaks, but not other characters to their own actions done in moments of their own breakdowns? Vi punching Powder, for instance. An act that had Vi villainized by the fandom for a long time. 

Which brings me to another point–absolution. It is one the extremes characters tend to fall into when it comes to fandom, with the other extreme being amplification. A character’s sins tend to be glossed over, or explained away so that the character in question becomes an unquestionable angel and champion of justice, or, in other cases, tend to be overly exaggerated, making the character out to be the worst of the worst, the lowest of the low. Rarely is there an in-between, with multifaceted characters complete with riveting backstory and motivations and complicated characteristics inevitably losing a little of what makes them, them, all in the pursuit of woobification, gratuitous groveling from other characters, and victimization; it’s an apology fantasy on steroids. In other cases, and often, connected cases, if one character is getting the baby treatment then chances are that another is getting the villain treatment, becoming a sort of caricature of themselves. Motives and environmental factors and politics are all thrown out the window, and all that’s left is cartoonish, flat, oft one-dimensional portrayals. 

Arcane’s Silco is an example of the former, with the singular trait of caring for Jinx becoming twisted and emphasized until he is nigh unrecognizable. His harmful actions towards the undercity are erased and he is lifted up instead as something other than he was. He is transformed from the fascinatingly flawed, human depiction to something bland and uncanny. He is just a Poor Sad Betrayed Meow Meow who is also a Good Dad. But it’s okay because he also does crimes! Except wait, those crimes are also sanitized and cutesy, or horrific and without reason or logic. He has lost what makes him, him.

And for the other half of the coin, the unnecessary villainization, we have Jayce! Jayce was hated upon widely, especially after the release of Season 1, and his struggles were erased.

(and yes, there were struggles. Jayce was more privileged than those from the Undercity, that is unquestionable, but he was not as privileged as the other Council members or even most of his peers. He had the fortune of a patron, but that was something that had to be earned, and he could always risk losing. He was from a House, yes, but it was also a minor one, and he would have labored in his factories alongside other workers–he wasn’t a crazy wealthy guy. He staked his entire life on his research that he was actually going to take his own life when his dream was taken from him. His dream wasn’t to generate wealth by unlocking the arcane, but rather, it was to put these tools in the hands of the common man too. One of his first act as councilors was to immediately try to root out corruption. He was able bodied and from Piltover, and so, had more privilege than Viktor (who is my favorite arcane character) that is undeniable. But Jayce did have struggles, he wasn’t taken seriously by the Council due to his own status and had to go through them initially when it came to his own HexTech. Jayce had struggles,but Jayce is a POC and Viktor is a white boy, so Jayce’s problems are gonna be minimized by fandom but that’s a whole other issue–)

And yet, three years ago, the Jayce hate was at a total high, with every action of his being dramatized so as to make Viktor’s pain far more excruciating. 

I’ve derailed a little! The point of this post was to point out the “therapy speak” in fandom that often comes at the cost of lifting one character up and bashing the other, all while skipping over the context and nuance for the gray situations the characters found themselves in. All this to say–with fandom’s recent behaviors when it comes to relationships in fandom, it really makes you wonder if people have forgotten that relationships aren’t easy and actually require constant work and effort. That relationships change and evolve and grow with each obstacle that comes one’s way, and that sometimes things get rough, but that love is being able to understand and empathize with one’s partners–that not everything is black and white and that not every mistake is irredeemable.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

ARCANE SEASON 2 ACT 3 SPOILERS

I've been thinking a lot about this scene, as to why Caitlyn looks relaxed but keeps her eye open.

My theory is that she does believe Jinx is alive, but probably doesn't have enough evidence to back her claims. It's clear in the way she was holding the monkey bomb's head and going through the tower's structure... she's looking for Jinx. And I don't think she wants revenge anymore. She just wants her back for Vi. Or, if not back, she at least wants to tell her she's alive. But she can't.

And that's why they're cuddling, but Cait's not closing her eye. Can you imagine the feeling of being potentially able to make the person you love happy, while at the same time not wanting to give her false hopes? I do think Cait'd give anything to make Vi happy.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

SPOILER ARCANE S2 ACT 3

I can't stop thinking about dead Vi in the alternative universe. I keep asking myself whether Caitlyn entered that room and saw her lifeless body and what she felt. I wonder if she somehow would've recognised her or felt like she did know her

[a-friendly-fangirl]

And what if I told you that, in the Arcane - Les Misérables parallel, Jinx is Cosette and Vi Éponine?

Have a good day!

[a-friendly-fangirl]

"Her mother was just the final nail in the coffin. She tried so hard to do things right, and all she got in return was pain and heartbreak"

Literally!! I can't believe people are saying Caitlyn is overreacting, her mom is dead you idiot!! What do you mean she's overreacting!? You people have never seen a character go through such stages of grief, despair, and devastation. Caitlyn has been through the worst experiences of her life because of Jinx's attempted murder, kidnapping, torture, and now the death of her mother. I mean, Caitlyn's personality change and her intense hatred for Jinx and loss herself are completely understandable.

Look how scared she is, we don't know what hell Caitlyn went through when Jinx kidnapped her, but that expression on her face says it all.

And let's not forget that Caitlyn in episode 1 refused the order to invade Zaun. Even after her mother's death she still didn't want to use violence, and we later saw that she would go there for only three goals.

And indeed she did, she attacked those gangs present in Zaun "Gangs that were hurting people and children in Zaun".

(And of course we shouldn't forget that she didn't suddenly change her mind, but rather because of the attack caused by Ambessa that made her reach this level of anger)

And now Ambessa will definitely play an important role in Caitlyn's character change by inciting her to seek revenge.

Ambessa manipulates everything and puts someone in power she can easily control

Another thing I found weird is how some people think in this ridiculous way to say that Caitlyn wants to kill the child or that Caitlyn wants to kill Vi. Are you really serious? Literally, you have never seen in any show or movie a character who is angry and loses control after that, don't you know when a person is angry they don't see it in front of them especially since she didn't want to make Jinx run away again, this was her chance to take revenge on the person who ruined her life completely (Caitlyn's actions are logical and her anger and sadness did not come from nothing or came from her mother's death only, but came from other things that were piling up on Cait which led to her explosion)

And as I was saying Caitlyn just wanted to kill Jinx, anger and sadness at that moment took over her. Jinx had NO mercy with Caitlyn, there is nothing that softens her actions.

And I hope you guys remember the true core of Caitlyn, she was trying to do what is good and she gets bombed, kidnapped, and her mom dead now.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

I can't fully elaborate right now, because lecture books call and I can't waste time crying... but there's a verse in Lucy's new song that caught my attention from the get go:

You were looking for saints/ But you only found people

First of all, this part reminds me of this other one:

Living with demons I've/ Mistaken for saints

Coming from "Claws In Your Back", Julien's song about trying to fight the darkest parts of ourselves in order to keep living. Julien has several times talked, throughout her music, about using pain (physical or psychological) as a form of connection to God (A saline communion that I held like a séance on the blacktop) or as a way to ask for forgiveness (Start asking for forgiveness in advance/ For all the future things I will destroy), meaning that probably, prior to Claws In Your Back, she was more accepting of her struggles, because they somehow made her a better person through penance (that's why she looked at her demons as if they were actually saints).

But she's come a long way. She's now willing to believe that she deserves better (I wanna be happy, like she sings with Phoebe). Still, she maybe didn't feel like she could go on without some guiding figures like saints, who are idolized and protective figures.

Now, I do believe that Lucy is specifically referring to Phoebe and herself, in her own words. Why? First of all, because she's the one singing them and because there's a nod to Graceland Too (I watched you fall from Grace/ You were graceful), connecting the three of them (Julien's troubled past could be considered a fall from Grace, at least in her own mind).

And if True Blue is any indication of their relationship's past hardships, then of course, if Julien at any point idolized her best friends (who've always been by her side ever since they first met), the ways they hurt each other clearly transformed them from saints to people. Loving people. And to Julien that's fine, because it still "feels good to be known so well".