#and the fucking atmospheric monologues

[crmsndragonwngss]

Settled With theatrical sequences I hope the bleeding persists

[synonymsforstupidity]

...am I insane for still thinking the remake of Silent Hill 2 looks bad

[bunslora]

i'll die anyway ᯓ★ bff.ᐟellie x reader

summary: lesbian yearning..

tags: suggestive , alcohol consumption , men dni .

wc: 618

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

"never have i ever—" ellie looks at you, straight faced, fully serious. "oh fuck off, are you twelve?" you shoot back, trying to stifle a giggle. you pass her the shitty bottle of rum the two of you had swiped from joel while downstairs moments before. ellies space patterned bedsheets crinkle beneath her lap as she takes a swig of the liquor. her face scrunches at the harsh taste, and you notice yourself watching in silent endearment, something that is not an uncommon occurrence for you.

"fine—" you look at her intently, barely long enough for it to mean anything. barely long enough for her to notice. at least, thats what you tell yourself. what you've been telling yourself. "never have i ever.." you make an over exaggerated show of pondering as you pretend to think. "never have i ever been caught by my father looking at—you know what, im actually not going to recount it..however i am confident you can fill in the blanks—" ellie rolls her eyes, as you continue whatever monologue you've prepared for her. "while being at a family dinner." you make sure to emphasise each word as you attempt to hold back a laugh that threatens to spill out from your chest.

"yeah, no, its not funny if you're the only one laughing," ellie grumbles, trying to make an effort to look entirely unamused. "also—" she starts, apparently not done, "you can't say things you know i've already done." you catch her gaze, "well—shall i try again?" you tease. "uh, no, dickhead its my go" she says in turn. "okay, so stop whining and get on with it then." you say, stealing the bottle from her grasp.

you drink from the bottle, grimacing as the taste refuses to improve. "never have i ever been a pretentious asshole." ellie says, looking almost proud with her question. you smile at her, amused, and ask, "define pretentious." ellie glares at you, although there is no real malice in the action. "unfortunately, that doesn't answer my question" she retorts, as she leans impossibly closer, you could almost taste the liquor on her breath—a contradiction, given that the two of you were already practically sitting on top of each other.

the bottle, now getting awfully close to being three-quarters empty, rested at the curve of your smile as you bring it closer to your lips for another sip. you lean back, offering a sliver of distance between you both. the motion causes your shirt to ride up, allowing for a glimpse of your laced underwear to peak above the waistband of your jeans. too subtle to be an invitation, yet too deliberate for it to feel unintentional. feigning innocence, you pretend not to notice the way ellies gaze trails down from your face to your torso. her hand wraps around yours, gently loosening the bottle from your grip before bringing it to her lips for a swig of the liquor.

"ellie—" you look at her as you begin to steady yourself, the hum of alcohol becoming more prominent. you move closer, continuing whatever you had begun to say. "you're staring." you announce, like she wasn't already aware. theres a beat of charged silence before she responds—"am i?" she says, attempting to convey ignorance, but the implications are still laid out in front of you both.

you sigh, "you're impossible", and with that ellie looks at you—the atmosphere swims with something inescapable; adoration? love? desire? devotion? whatever it is, ellie smiles regardless, a look that could almost be catagorised as hesitancy before she speaks. "i think you like it" she says. "and i think you're drunk." you say in return. takes one to no one.

inbox ⤿ open

might do a part 2!!

link to moodboard ⋆˙⟡

[slamminslamminmcgill]

Can you pretty please write a fic where Logan and Deadpool are having an argument about how they should be fucking the reader, like going over techniques while the reader is just drooling and mindless like “whaaa”

hell YEAH i love getting fucked stupid by big strong men >:3333€

this is a rly good prompt btw so i could GLADLY expand on this but for rn here’s a snippet 😌

warning: dp, painal, sadomasochism, mild transphobia, slurs, degradation, overstim, dubcon, daddy kink

anatomical terms: cunt/pussy/bussy

They talk about you like you’re not even there.

Well, physically you were right there with them. Mentally you were nowhere to be found, certainly not on their conversational level. Wade had been bouncing you in his lap for god knows how long. His cock in your cunt had thoroughly fucked your train of thought off the tracks. Your internal monologue was nothing but bitchy whimpers and primal burning for more. Welp. What do you expect? Back to back orgasms will do to that to you. You couldn’t even recall how the argument started, and context would’ve really been helpful.

“Wow! Okay! That’s a shitty thing to say to our guest! Wanna apologize and maybe try that one again, JK Rowling?”

"Oh, get fucked. That's not what I meant and you know it." Logan kept his firm hands on your shoulders, assisting your bounce, since your legs were damn near liquified.

“Mmmmm, ah, gah-fuuuck… Wh... Wha? Huh?”

“How is that not what you meant?" Wade, questioned, maintaining his steel grip on your ass. He felt that he had to protect you from the big bad wolf and his transphobia. "You just said he’s not a real man because he has a pussy. A tight, sweet, JUICY pussy that feels like a fleshlight full of microwaved angel dust. And yet SOMEHOW this makes him not a real man to you? Maybe you’re just not man enough for HIM, sugar-tits!”

"I said you gotta fuck him like a real man. You’re being too good to him. It's gonna fuel his ego, and I’m not letting you turn him into a spoiled brat. Fuck him in the ass, that'll teach him a lesson. Show him this shit ain't a joke."

"No way! Ass is ass is ass is ass. Everybody's got an asshole, peanut, and newsflash? They all feel the same. But this boy's pussy? This hot buttery premium A5 wagyu bussy that's—SQUEEZINGmyfuckingdicksotight, oh, fuck, fuckfuckfuck, angel baby, sweet boy, you feel so GOOD! Making your Daddy feel so good, good boy!"

Praise was easy enough to process. It didn't require any cognitive effort on your part. You didn't have to weigh in and have an opinion, you just have to take it, and be grateful for it. "Hah, fuck! Thank—thank you, Daddy! FUCK! Wade! WadeWadeWadeWade—WADE! WadeWadeWade..."

But Logan wouldn't let it go. "I'm serious. Make him take it up the ass, or I will."

“Un-be-lievable. You know something? You must be the one guy in this universe who could see a whimsical forest path that leads to a magical unicorn fountain, and says 'Oh, no, none for me. Let me go spelunking in the poop-chute, thank you very much!' And if that's not the single gayest thing I've seen in my entire—"

"WADE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Eeep!"

Oh, you poor thing. He nearly gave you a heart attack! It's terrifying when someone yells out of nowhere, especially when that someone has you naked and vulnerable in their hands. Logan had slammed you down on Wade's cock when he yelled, completely stopping the scene and trapping you between them. Woah. Time out. Shit has officially just gotten real. You and Wade held bated breath, and traded a glance that said "We're cooked. Nice knowing ya."

But Logan just laughed at you both. Delighted by the atmospheric tension he had just created.

"Heh... heh heh heh..."

Then he relaxed his grip on you, and those big strong calloused man hands started to explore. They massaged your shoulders, rubbed your neck and jaw, and groped and squeezed wherever they pleased. All the while, his hot breath, tinted with whiskey and malice, ghosted over the shell of your ear as he talked. He spoke very firmly. Targeted. Slow. He wanted you to get every fucking word.

"Listen, bub. I’m not about to question whether or not you’re a man, okay? But I’ll say this. When real men wanna take cock? It hurts. Oh, it hurts real bad. And most of ‘em don’t get the luxury of a cushy little cunt that’s meant to take a pounding. No, son. Real men get ripped apart by cock. It makes them cry and scream and sometimes their tiny little rims even bleed because of it. And you know what? They love it. They love how much it hurts them. Cause they’re men. Strong men. And you’re no fuckin’ better than them, you know that? You think just cause you got another hole that you can take the easy way out? Everything's gonna be peaches and cream, huh? Nuh uh. Not on my watch, you little shit. You wanna act like you're such a fag? Well then you’re getting fucked like one of us too."

…

…

…

“Jesus fucking Christ, babycakes, if you don’t want him up your ass I’ll GLADLY take the heat for you.”

[tawked]

I know we're all real big "read the comics" fans here but, considering the show is now 32 years old and many people in the Batman fandom might not know about it -

if you do not want to read the comics, might I recommend the massively acclaimed Batman animated series from the 90s instead?

Seriously, room-temperature take: it's better than what was going on in the comics at the time.

DCAU Batman: kind, empathetic but still troubled and a little self-centered at times. He understands even scary dangerous mentally ill people are not beyond help and that what they really need is support and care. He actively tries to resolve every conflict with a minimal of violence and brutality, with stories often focusing on detective work in a pulpy noir atmosphere, or the clever use of a tactic relevant to a bad man's gimmick. Every character is consistent and has a clear, coherent vision. There is exactly one profoundly stupid retcon and it's in an extremely skippable bottle episode of another show (Justice League Unlimited, and the retcon relates to Batman Beyond, the Wise Man's Favourite Batman). Respects women (here to take back the night, for her). Loves his gay sons and daughter. Does not turn his car into a murder tank to shoot people with.

90s comics Batman: violent asshole who is mean to everybody because idk Denny O'Neil thinks that's what autism or PTSD or whatever is. Makes absurdly stupid fucking decisions that later need to be retconned into making sense and even then they rely on everybody else being an inconsistent nonsense character. Launches into monologues about how it'd be super easy if he could just kill people, especially those incurable freak scoundrels at the crazy people prison more often than you would think. Truly horribly mean to women (Huntress and Spoiler especially) in a way that is simply beyond the norm of the genre at the time. Relentlessly weird and abusive in "my dad never hugged me" ways toward his ever-growing collection of sometimes dead children. Constantly turning his car into a murder tank to shoot people with.

This show is not an adaptation of the comics (though some individual issues are adapted or reworked), but if you just specify you're writing about or discussing DCAU Batman, people are pretty chill and in my experience will actively tell you about specific issues or TPBs that relate to the show. Other than that, it's just an extremely solid, accessible version of Batman, and the version of the character most people remember / care about when they criticize mean asshole comic book Batman for being "out of character" (even though comic book Batman has kinda sorta been that way since Crisis).

The same is basically true of Superman. His DCAU series has less of a reputation but is honestly crazy underrated. Best version of Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen.

The Justice League cartoon, a sequel to both series, will also introduce you to a bunch of mainstay DC characters, albeit usually pretty far-removed from their own stories and exclusively in a team context. The only major outliers are The Question, Wonder Woman (kinda) and Martian Manhunter, who were basically 100% rewritten for the show. Even then if you just specify you mean the DCAU versions of these characters people will get it, the shows used to be more popular than the comics in the 90s.

This will also sneakily onboard you to the Zeta Project and you will learn, albeit indirectly, who the most insufferable kids in like 2002 were. Seriously, I sound insane telling children this now, but Ro's design was like... the rosetta stone for shit Deviantart anime OCs for a whole five years or so.

The watching order I'd recommend is:

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm.

Batman: The Animated Series.

Superman: The Animated Series.

Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero.

The New Batman Adventures.

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman.

Justice League.

Justice League Unlimited.

Batman Beyond.

Batman: Return of the Joker (the only Tim Drake story I like lol).

The Zeta Project (severely optional).

I'd place Static Shock somewhere before Justice League Unlimited, personally, but you can move that one around as you please. There's some jank to it because it wasn't originally going to be part of the DCAU, but then come season two they started incorporating little crossovers and nods.

Batman & Harley Quinn and Justice League vs. the Furious Five are also in continuity but I pretend I do not see the Harley Quinn farts in the batmobile and fucks Nightwing movie, and have not actually seen the Furious Five movie.

Easy, simple, no fuss no muss. Batman is the only character to appear in every single show (albeit not every episode, obviously), so he serves as kind of a connecting throughline for the "Timmverse."

A lot of these shows are on Netflix and I mean, y'know, just pirate them, it's not like Warner Bros. needs more money lol.

Other recommendations:

Super Friends - no bullshit. It's aged pretty horribly, especially the animation, but I kid you not, this show genuinely captures what golden age superhero stories and especially Batman feels like. Not at all remotely character-driven (but neither were 90% of the comics), instead centered 100% around very badly animated action. I fucking love it. It will teach you how the idea of Batman worked before he was Gotham's dark moody emo prince. I don't recommend watching all of Super Friends, there is a lot of it, but there's value in just blasting through a couple eps. The benefit here is that they tinker with the format and line-up every season so if you do find yourself enjoying that 1970s American cartoon style of storytelling, they do keep it kind of fresh.

The Batman - that is, the 2004 series. Hated on arrival for not being more Timmverse DCAU stuff. Some of the most creative direction in villain and action design the franchise has ever had, but like, everybody in this show is a kung fu fighter when that is extremely not the case in the comics lol. Will demonstrate Batman as a pulp scifi detective, and how his stories can work when he's an isolated character. Plays hard into the idea of empathy for some villains, and provides most villains with pretty human motives. Downplays Batman as mentally ill and makes his Bruce Wayne persona, uh... more "relatable" to kids in the mid-2000s lol. Doesn't really supplement comic book canon but if you want to see how concepts can be stretched and adapted for fanfiction purposes, this is an invaluable show.

Batman - The Brave & The Bold. Captures the vibe of the wider DC universe during the 1950s - 1970s, with a lot of fun modern characters reworked into a silver age vibe and aesthetic. Very lighthearted and silly, but feels like if Gardner Fox were around today he'd fuck with it hard. Not a replacement for comics that people actually read and discuss in the tumblr fandom, but will introduce you to a range of characters, some of whom are actually pretty obscure, in an extremely digestible format. Has a bad, Teen Titans Go esque habit of responding to reddit fan criticisms in the Bat-Mite episodes, but those are paradoxically some of the most solid shit in the show.

[adragonthatwrites]

My absolute favorite characters are always the ones who look and act like total sweethearts, but could cause just the most untold destruction if they wanted to. Just the sweetest, gentlest, kindest of people, who could also absolutely FUCK SHIT UP if they wanted or needed to.

And listen the absolute most important aspect of these characters is that they WILL. Like, they are fundamentally kind and gentle people, but when push comes to shove they'll take all that potential for incredible violence, and commit incredible violence. No pushovers to be seen here.

Examples of my favorite characters from some of the recent stuff I've watched/read;

Xie Lian from TGCF. A humble scrap collector who cares for the common people and is undeniably one of the kindest people in the book (even if he's not always the nicest). By the end of the book he could also break a mountain in half with his bear hands and fought god multiple times.

Wen Ning from MDZS. He arrives in the book by stalking out of the woods to the sounds of clanking chains and accompanying horror movie music, bitch slaps the current villain out of the existence and then proceeds to spend the rest of the story following the protagonist like a lost puppy while speaking in soft, gentle tones and generally being the most adorable character in the entire story.

N from Murder Drones. Just the goodest of boys who can casually toss someone into the atmosphere and has no time for villain monologues. He cemented himself as one of my all-time favorite characters when he followed through on that "One chance" threat.

Just... MAN they hit every time for me!!

(Extra bonus points if the character is also Tall As Fuck. I love me a gentle giant!!)

[zerowritesthings]

...things he said at 1am

masterlist | 'things he said' masterlist

The night feels cold, even when you hide yourself underneath your blanket. It's supposed to be summer soon, why does it feel like you've just entered winter?

Shivering underneath your blanket you tried your best to get comfortable and sleep the cold off. You heard a knock on your dorm door as you glanced at it before turning your gaze towards the clock, which read 1am.

Who would knock on your door at 1am? On a school night?

You sighed as you stood up, shuffling your way to the door with your blanket still hugged tightly around yourself as you opened it.

“Katsuki?”, you couldn't believe what you saw. Katsuki Bakugou was standing in front of you with 2 mugs in his hand and a hoodie thrown over his shoulder.

“thought you were probably cold, since you always are.. like a fucking frostbite.. or whatever..”, he sounded unusually soft and tired as he walked past you into your dorm. “Close the door, or do you want 4-eyes to wake up, catch and then scold us?”

You immediately closed the door and looked at him with uncertainty. The last time you two saw each other (at lunch that very same day) you were arguing. No one knew how it started but it was an ugly fight. Accusations and insults and just overall hurtful comments were thrown in from both sides.

Bakugou sat down on your bed, holding one of the steaming cups up for you to take before putting his own down on the bedside table. No words were spoken as he held out the hoodie to you. A few minutes passed in complete silence with you standing in the middle room with an empty cup and a warm hoodie underneath your blanket as he started talking.

“‘m sorry…” his voice was hushed and you could hear a slight shake to it. His expression is filled with vulnerability, honesty and fear. “I don't know why I said all of that.. didn't even mean it…”

“You.. you're sorry? For what? Insulting me? Accusing me of kissing my best friend even though we were just training? Oh, or maybe for accusing me of only dating you for future fame once you become number one?”

He whined as you counted up what he said. “Yes, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean any of that.. I don't know why I said it..”

Even underneath the thick hoodie and blanked, you started to shiver. “That's not an excuse."

“I know it wasn't! I just.. when i saw you with that stupid icy-hot something just.. snapped.. y/n, i'd give up everything for you.. i.. when i see you my day just becomes like.. a million times better. You make me a better person but you also make me so angry! Why are you looking at him when you should be looking at.. me… you make me angry because youre just you. You can have anyone in the world but youre with me. You're like.. the best person I've ever met and I'm so.. stupidly jealous of you.. i.. I admire you.. and i.. love you.."

That was the first time those 3 words had ever come out of his mouth. He looked conflicted during his small monologue, hoping that you'd interrupt his stupid rambling. Although at the same time he was thankful that you didn't.

It was silent for a few seconds, minutes even. Your brain was trying to process his confession as you bit your lip.

“you.. i..”, you sit down next to him before you grab his hand to intertwine your fingers. “I admire you as well Katsuki. And I'm asking myself daily why you're with me… but you don't see me lashing out because you're looking at someone else, do you?”

Bakugou stays silent as he squeezes your hand. He shook his head and looked down.

“because I trust you. And I love you too.. but…”

his expression turned fearful, a ‘but’ never sounds good in a situation like this. The atmosphere turned even colder around him as he waited for you to continue with your answer.

“... but you can't keep lashing out just because I'm talking to Shoto. I want to be with you but you have to trust me.. please..”

“I trust you. But I don't trust him.”

You just sighed and laid down, pulling him with you. His arms immediately wrapped around you. He placed a kiss on top of your head, making the cold surrounding you immediately vanish.

“I love you, ‘m sorry..”

-> he said “i love you” at 1 am.

[freeluigihesbae]

𝓫𝓾𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓮𝓮𝓻 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼 - 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝟑

(2,663 words)

part 1, part 2

summary:

luigi fell in love with you for those sparkling eyes where his dreams of falling in love first came true. but how did it happen?

𝗍𝗐: 𝗇𝗈𝗇𝖾

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

"So..." Luigi has his hand on yours, not wanting to leave.

The date, as he so confirmed, went wonderfully. The giggles were like butterflies filling the atmosphere while you noted the intensity of his stare in your eyes.

"Is this your go-to phrase when you're dumbfounded?" You smirk while still holding onto his hand. Luigi snickers in response.

"I'm smartfounded-" "That is SO fucking lame." You groan at his response, fake-disgusted at the cop-out answer he gave but he pulls back, both hands next to his head implying that he isn't guilty. You tilt your head back down, giving him a seriously? look that only made him happier.

"No, really. If I told you my resume I've got half the mind to say you'd be impressed." Luigi explains himself but two can play that game.

Especially since you want him to compliment you more.

"Yeah, but I bet you've never worked as hard your girl," you emphasize the your to which he raises his eyebrows, "doing everything with a cast on." You watch as his features soften impossibly more and you're thinking bingo.

"T-That's true." In fact, it isn't. Luigi remembers having to use crutches while preparing for the competition of a lifetime but honestly... he was willing to lie just to put you above himself.

It is an honest, selfless act.

You smile, happy that your little guilt-tripping line has worked its wonders before you remember your hangout with Ash. You check your phone and you already see a few texts.

Ash: heyyyy i miss u. i need to rant so bad istfg

Ash: Girl where tFFFF R yA i'm drunk and heartbro-Ken

You shake your head. This girl and her heartbreaks.

"Is everything alright?" Luigi cocks his head to the side, concerned about the expression on your face that changed so suddenly. You look up, immediately smiling and shaking your head.

"Oh, just a girl problem a friend of mine is having. I guess duty calls." You giggle and Luigi lets out a sigh before he stands up, extending his arm out.

"I'll walk back with you because it's getting dark and it's cold outside. Casts don't mesh too well with this...environment the universe has so cruelly subjected you to." You smile at his borderline philosophical monologue, throwing your head back in laughter and responding in equal vigor.

"Oh, whatever would I do without such a gentleman to guide me through the blazing waters of an Ivy League campus?" You stand up before he's already setting a hand on your waist and nuzzling his nose into your forehead.

"I guess we'll never know." Luigi responds and your heart soars. He couldn't give a better answer than that.

He knows it all too well.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

"Why did you get the injury in the first place?"

You and Luigi have been walking at a leisure pace for about 15 minutes, thankfully since you shot a message to Ash who was kind enough to understand, happy that you found yourself a date.

"It's such a long story but let's just say... heels, stairs, and ice. Put one and one and one together." You reply with a mock serious tone and Luigi groans, his arm around you tightening with a sense of protectiveness.

"I swear, I'll never understand the expectation women have to wear these stupid heels and dress up to look a certain way. Just use 15-in-1 body wash and call it a day." You turn around, slapping your hand over your mouth at how he managed to switch from being so sentimental to talking like, well, what you'd expect a guy to talk like.

"I'm impressed." You say, genuinely impressed.

"That's my goal." He replies.

You walked straight into that one.

"What was the event?" Luigi follows up and you find yourself half-surprised he even cares this much.

Your mind flutters away, picking out the pieces of the night.

"It was a sorority wide gala. I wasn't really up for it but my friends pushed me to come and somehow, the night ended with me regretting it altogether. I'm a homebody, honestly. I like keeping to myself and it's definitely on me for bending to the peer pressure." You respond, sighing at the stress of just thinking about the day that landed you with the case you have on now.

Luigi bends down, placing his lips on your temple for just a second before pulling off.

"If you ever need help, bambi, just remember I'm there for you." He stops but quickly adds a comment. "I wish I could've seen the dress you were in." You stare at his side-profile, wondering how his tone could change yet flow so flawlessly.

"Yeah." That's all you say, finding yourself lost in appreciating this man in his entirety.

"Yeah?" He stops walking and so do you, letting your fingers take the risk and reach over to grab his hand, pulling it closer towards your waist. He understand the assignment, gripping onto your hipbones before his other hand is drawing a line from the small of your back, up to your neck.

"Yeah." You repeat yourself, but this time, your voice is more breathy, hyper aware of the way he's touching you and staring into your eyes.

He looks dreamy, you think, the way he looks at you with not just a superficial sweep of his eyes, but as though he's looking into you, trying to grab at the pieces that make you whole and if possible, soothe and piece them together better than they just were.

Dreamy.

Unknowingly, you both start walking but the pace is even slower as you're lost in each others eyes, asking the question neither of your dared to utter.

Luigi is still looking at you but his breathing has picked up.

He's trying his very best to just take you home and drop you off but there's a pull coming from your eyes and goddamn calling you bambi didn't help him much because the purity and innocence behind that name was driving him insane.

He saw you through those lens too and somehow, it seemed to be enough for him because he barely knew you. Yet, he felt he'd known you for years and he could explain how exactly your soul and body were weaved into one.

You find your way to your dorm building, stopping in front and Luigi's lips immediately part.

"I need to kiss you." He says and you're taken aback, but the blush on your face and ever-so-slight present smile in your eyes tell him you want that too.

He comes a few inches closer while shaking his head, driving his fingers upwards and cupping your face. You take your own hands and place them overtop of his, enjoying the size difference.

"You have no clue, bambi. Your eyes are the most beautiful thing I have seen in this world. I don't care if someone showed me the world's largest diamond and held it up to the sunlight because I'd just have to turn around and look into your eyes and I'd see the light of millions of gems sparkling. I'd see galaxies valiantly painted into poems. I see so many things you don't and the more I stare into them, I-" He falters at the end and you're panting, processing the awe-inducing words that just fell from his lips that you really want to kiss.

"Luigi you- you-" You don't know what to say. That wasn't a normal compliment. It wasn't a usual compliment. Hell, it wasn't even a compliment.

That was a love letter that came straight from his adoration for you.

"What the fuck?" A sharp, broken voice cuts through the warm and giddy atmosphere that was hugging the two of you closer together. You both turn your head and you realize, it's Ash.

Your smile drops but picks up when you turn around and walk over to hug her, but in all her rage for reasons you still don't know, she pushes you back. And she pushes hard.

"You fucking BITCH!" Ash screams while you're falling back, thankful that Luigi has caught you from behind. "Ash what is wrong with you?!" Luigi raises his voice and snap at Ash, who is staring at you both in tears.

"Yeah, that's right. Let me ask YOU that." Ash is pointedly speaking to you and you're feeling tears crowding your vision.

"A-Ash I have no idea what's going on-" "You're sleeping with the guy I asked out to prom?" She interrupts your plead and your eyes go wide before you're looking at Luigi, who spares you a stare and goes back to visibly fuming at the sight of Ash in front of him.

"Get the fuck out of here Ash. You're the one who tried to pressure me into saying yes to your stupid proposal-" "Stupid? Stupid? You're trying to act like you didn't know what your friends were doing and it's your fault that I asked you Luigi!"

"STOP." You yell and watch both Ash and Luigi freeze in place.

"Ash, tell me what the fuck happened and please explain why it justified you pushing me to the ground when I have a cast on?" You put your hands on your hips, watching her eyes go wide when she realizes you have a cast. Her lips part as she stutters and explains herself.

"I-I asked Luigi out for homecoming and he said he didn't like me despite his friends making me think otherwise. I got embarrassed because he did it in front of everyone and I-I-" There's guilt written all over Ash's face and you catch it. Luigi opens his mouth but you shoot him a look, which he respects.

"Everyone who Ash?" You ask, starting to think Luigi was right.

"You know what I mean." Ash scowls lightly before continuing. "Cassidy, Rachel, our friends, and the entire hallway like-" Ash stops, waiting for you to respond.

"So you voluntarily asked him out when there were several people around and expected him to say yes and when he said no you got upset?" You asked, slightly accusatory in your tone and she nods. You then turn to Luigi.

"What did you say to her when you said no? I imagine you said more than just no, correct?" You ask Luigi and he nods, speaking his words confidently.

"I told her that I'm glad she felt comfortable enough to ask me, but that I didn't like her despite what my idiotic friends were making it seem like and that I'm sorry on their behalf, but I couldn't go out with her. I was truthful and I was respectful bam- I mean-" Luigi stops and it takes everything in you to bite back a smile. "I was respectful." Luigi ends his sentence and you hear Ash sharply exhaling.

"You still didn't explain why that justified you pushing me to the ground." You whip your head back to Ash, whose face is pale with guilt.

"I thought he would've told you. So I thought he did and I got upset you were still hanging out knowing he rejected me." Ash says, a streak of anger in her eyes when she remembers the rejection.

You shake your head in disappointment. Even if he had told her, you still would've spent time with him because it's true - Ash is in the wrong.

"You're still in the wrong Ash. He was respectful about it and you made it a bigger deal than it has to be." You finally say and Ash flexes her jaw, staring at you with contempt.

"Of course you think it's my fault. Here you are, all perfect and in order with your life when I'm trying to find my footing." You're taken aback, glancing at Luigi who raises his eyebrow, but doesn't look at you. "You're so perfect. Perfect grades perfect everything-"

"You have all that too, Ash." You cut her off, confused what her annoyance is about.

"Yeah well you know what you have and I don't? The ability to make men fold. Every man I bring back stares at your like you're a goddess and it irks me like hell. You're pretty you're perfect you're everything I want to be. I fucking hate you and don't think for a second I find you any less guilty." Ash's voice is dripping spite and jealousy, getting even worse as she watches your face change...none.

"Ash, you were my closest friend and I always looked up to your for the same exact reasons, but I never tried to make men look at me or give me attention or something. I'm always being myself and it seems like you are unable to do that, which explains your jealousy." Ash's face is still angry, but you can see her lips quivering.

"I don't care. I hate you." Ash says, trying to get a reaction out of you.

"I don't hate you Ash, but I certainly don't want to deal with your baggage. Get out of my face." You say calmly and Ash freezes before crying and walking away. You watch as she's stumbling over herself, remembering she was a bit drunk when she texted you.

Luigi finally lets out a breath and turns to face you.

"I'm proud of you standing up for yourself. You've got a clear head and a strong will bambi." Luigi smiles and you smile back at him.

"Stop, oh my god. Just telling the truth I guess. Thanks for catching me Lu." You let the nickname slip and Luigi gives you a mockingly smoldering look.

"I'm Lu now, bambina?" Your jaw drops.

'Wha-Wh-Where do you pull these from UGH!" You slap his arm before he's scooping you into his arms and in giggles and laughter, you agree.

You hand him your ID card which he scans, carrying you into the room where he sets you on your bed, paying special attention to your cast.

"When are you getting this off, bambi?" You've gotten used to the nickname now, simply answering his question.

"In a week or two. I'm bummer out because I'm going to look stupid at homecoming." You frown a bit but Luigi comes over, lightly setting his finger under your chin.

"I don't know if you'd want to come with me or not, but no matter what you choose, I'm telling you that your eyes, body, and smile make you the most stunning woman anyone will ever set their eyes on." He's leaned in now, speaking his words right over your lips and you find your hands on his t-shirt, clutching the fabric so tight your palms start to sweat.

"I-I-I-" "Need to go, bambina." Luigi pulls away and you gasp as he turns around at the door, shining a smile and walking out the door before you can say his name.

Part of your sags, shoulders falling since you thought he'd ask you out to homecoming, but the way he did it... if he really did, was frankly, underwhelming.

Was this just a fun thing for him? A date that he could brag to his friends about? But how could it be?

You're lost thinking about all the words he'd said and spun you around in ribbon with, trying to fight every urge that told you he was playing with your feelings. You bounce back on the bed before wincing.

Something sharp scratches your head and you turn around before seeing a small card, folded into two and now showing a few words inside. You frown, wondering where it came from.

The moment the card slides between your fingers, it feel thick and rich, making you wonder what was possible written on it.

bambi,

if you're willing to come to homecoming with me, keep an eye out for a package tomorrow before noon.

here's my number: xxx-xxx-xxxx

~ luigi

Your heart flutters once again, all the doubts melting away as you pull the card close to your chest.

What did this boy have in mind?

~

if you'd like to be added to my taglist, please comment beneath my pinned masterlist post on my blog!

@madkohi

[austinsastrology8991]

> Mercury Aspects <

and why you sound like a Dumb Fuck

Mercury Aspecting Sun - Your voice is authoritative and you love to flex on people with your loud appeal. However, your voice being the centre of attention (usually) can create an atmosphere where you're very controlling of the conversation. This is not so bad because others do like to listen to you, but the problem is others may not always feel heard. You are gifted at speaking, and gaining recognition from that, but a good conversation isn't formed from a fkn monologue, or outwitting the other, its about conversing - not speaking AT someone. But you speak clearly and its easy for others to call you smart Mercury Aspecting Moon - Nervous speakers who's tone is so dependent on how they are feeling, you literally have to give them a pat on the back to get a coherent answer out of them. These people are very thoughtful, but since they have been thinking about what they want to say for so long, they find themselves stuttering, and word vomiting; because they want to be careful with what they say hence the overthinking tendencies. They speak softly and it can make others relax around them. But people like to ask them to speak up a lot, so not so relaxing for them I guess Mercury Aspecting Venus - Pretty voices, and they always say the right thing. People love to talk to them cause they have a very receptive ear, but also a willingness to share their own ideas, and this duality makes it so others cannot help but be completely enamoured by their talking. They can sell water to a well, a fire to a lighter, a Samsung to a Apple store; they really can convince you anything just because you got lost in their language.

Mercury Aspecting Mars - Harsher voices that love to get aggressive on da mic. They love to swear but more than that, they love to talk shit, and well they are good at it because they don't really put so much thought into what they are saying, they just say it. And others have to remind these natives that they said some fucked up shit, and that they should calm down lol. But they perform very well in arguments, and its because they thrive in da art of da comeback Mercury Aspecting Jupiter - Naturally bold in what they say, and always have something interesting to talk about, and they are interesting, but they are always in the mood to teach you something and its kinda exhausting. Jim carry has this conjunct and well he is interesting... But he is also always trying to teach you something, but unfortunately for him we don't really care we just want him to make us laugh. And I guess thats why this combo can be a little unfortunate, because most people feel educated enough and don't want to be further educated. They so badly want to teach others, but unfortunately for them its a hard thing to teach in tongues > people learn from experience more, and they'd rather be the master of their own destiny (not owe it to yoi) > ik ur trying to help but you have to understand we are a stubborn species Mercury Aspecting Saturn - They speak with so much nonchalance, and its a great way to make others listen to them; because they acting like the answer is simple. But it's actually because they >think< they figured out all the possible answers; since they have studied/researched a lot just so they feel some semblance of control on the topic. And if they don't speak on a subject, its because they don't know the answer, and this decisiveness in when and when not to speak makes others respect their opinion more often than not.

Mercury Aspecting Uranus - You guys jump from subject to subject with such little foresight of what the fuck was happening in the conversation, I frankly get a headache talking to you. You are def interesting to talk to, but your lack of direction in communication, can get on my nerves and I hate your lack of care about it. You talk about anything under the sun, and this makes you someone almost perfect to speak to. Until the other person realizes the conversation as a whole was utterly meaningless. But these guys lowkey geniuses and their voices are 'unique' Mercury Aspecting Neptune - These people are um. hard to say. they really go all over the place. I've seen these natives go from speaking like a retard > to a professor > to barking like a dog > then speaking like the president; and its just a normal conversation for them. I think its because they pick up on the energy of what the conversation needs most and they shapeshift into whatever that need is; so you really don't know what your gonna get. You really can never can tell what they are going to say next, and they are a master at confusing yo brain. Also high-key the best person to talk about life with; very sensitive and genuine when need to be. Mercury Aspecting Pluto - These guys love to get deep n emotionally invest in any conversation they can. They have extremely piercing minds, and cannot be bothered talking about a 'nothing', so they always probe your brain, and swerve the conversation into something deeply uncomfortable for the both of you. Hey its more interesting than a boring conversation, and well if they never brought it up, lets be honest; you never would have thought about it in the unique perspective that they gave you. Also they are so blunt and forceful, you literally have to stop everything because of the audacity of what the fuck came out they mouth. They speak intensely and put all focus onto you/subject at hand, its low key uncomfortable; but always interesting

[noctispuffin]

Danny Phantom x Dc universe crossover

Hey Guys, I've been captured by the hyperfixation train as you can probably tell what it is from above. I have started writing out a fic and just wanted to post the beginning of what I have here to get a general consensus before I think of publishing it on AO3.

So Long summary short, it's gonna be braindead pairing (Tim/Danny). The general ideas I have going so far are as follows.

Notes/plans for Future chapters: -captured by giw (gonna work on some gore, get that absolute hate going for them, and we all love the autopsy scar) -cosmic/eldritch horror danny (later in fic/Series)

maybe trans danny -ghost cannibalism

revenant red hood

liminal amity parkers

constantine/ soul fragments

ghost politics

coffee Is ambrosia

17yr old danny/ 17 year old Tim Drake

summoning - jl bashing

scarred danny

ghouls Are Trapped By The Bound. -ghouls are the boogeyman of the infinite realms -ghouls feed off the life force of other beings -ghouls use spiders as spies -All realms have spiders/ Spider adjacent creatures.

There will be Oc Villians and Characters later in the Story

So yeah Long post but here is the beginning of chapter 1.

Waking up with a raging headache was not fun. He was dead. Or half dead at least. Headaches should not be an issue. Also, A. He was missing his coffee. B. He was tied to a chair in some… Funhouse? Warehouse?? and C. His. Coffee. Was. Missing.

Now don't get him wrong the tied-to-a-chair thing was rather important but being who he was it wasn't the first time it's happened and it won't be the last. Now the lack of "guys in white" was a bonus, as it means his identity is still intact at least but that doesn't rule out any of the other usual suspects. However, the Funhouse or warehouse… (seriously what's with all the weird clown-themed shit??) atmosphere was at least a little off-putting.

He frowns a bit as he looks out from beneath his bangs at the large area, boxes, and crates pushed out of the way to the sides of the warehouse. Nothing particularly menacing persay… if you could ignore the fruitloop standing 10 feet in front of him in the plum tuxedo with wild green hair, and holding a comically large red button monologuing to a camera.

A Camera.

Shit.

That means he can't just up and leave, even if this is Eisenhower he can't just leave and reveal his identity as Phantom or add any more suspicion to Danny Fenton. The GIW were dumb but they weren't that dumb.

He heaves a deep sigh and decides to at least get this dumb interaction over with.. Maybe he can make this freak knock the camera over cause he's almost entirely sure that the camera is still functioning enough to send out a signal if the red light on it meant anything.

"Freakshow what the hell. Look, We get it circus gothica-" He snaps his mouth shut as the man turns to look at him with a small glare and a deranged smile.

That.

That was most definitely not Eisinhowen. Not unless he somehow managed to fuck up his pale ass face more than it already was.. were… were those scars??!! up his cheeks?!! What the fuuuuck…

"It seems ladybirds and gentle bats that our esteemed guest has finally awoken from his beauty sleep!! What do you have to say to the people of Gotham Young Timothy Drake?!" The man (- the Joker. OH fuuuuuck This is the Joker!!!-) cackles to the camera as he makes a grand sweeping gesture towards him.

Wait, how did he get to Gotham?? -- Not the time.

"who?"

Ok well, that wasn't the smartest response he has ever come up with.

"Wh- What do you mean? Who? WHO?? What is this some sort of knock knock joke?" The clown looks at him and deflates slightly with his confusion before he shakes himself, fixes the lapels of his suit and turns back to the camera with a large smile and a deranged cackle.

"Well, it seems the young CEO has some gal to him! What’s to say I finish this knock-knock joke with a punch line hmm? Better hurry Batsy you know how much I love a good punchline." He giggles with a smile - giggles? seriously?? How much creepier can clowns get-

"Look uh… Joker right? I think you have the wrong person" He starts off, slowly speaking as if he were talking to a particularly unstable ghost. Only to cut himself off at the gun that swiftly appears out of the clown's suit and is pointed directly at his head.

“You have half an hour, Bats. Half an hour before the smart mouth here learns what the taste of good old-fashioned lead tastes like.” The clown's smile just grows ever wider as he takes a few dancing steps towards him.

He feels his mouth pull into a disgusted grimace as the barrel of the gun swings around to tap him on the forehead as the creep gets closer to him.

“Look-” He tries to start again, his view of the camera obscured by the gaudy purple suit and painted face hosting wild eyes.

BANG

He doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t. That would be silly. He was already half dead. There is no way that a simple bullet through his frontal lobe, mixing the grey and white matter of his brain together with a burning efficiency and the fury of a fire would kill him fully.. Right? When did he close his eyes?? Fuck this asshole was laughing again..

His blue eyes opened slowly and trail to the sting along his left temple. The gun was aimed just to the left of his forehead and there was some sort of sharp metal rod with a piece of fabric hanging from the end laying along the stinging, and now he was pretty sure bleeding along his temple.

“Hehe! Whoopsies!” The red of the clowns painted smile seemed to crack a bit as he leaned away and waved the gun around, splattering small drops of red blood from the-

Was that a fucking prop gun?! With the whole stick with the bang flag on it?? Wtf…

“This thing just has a mind of its own!” The freakshow look alike turned back to the camera with that deranged smile of his.

“Now as I was saying, As much as i'm sure Mr. Wayne would like for you to come and rescue him, you my little friends have some more important things to be dealing with!” The man strides away and grabs the camera swinging it away from Danny so it could focus solely on what seemed to be some sort of pipebomb- no- time bomb? Bomb. Was attached to a crate full of gas cylinders.

“This is one of many I have set up at certain places in the city. Detonated, of course, by the timer running out. You only have enough time to find and disarm all of them or save the poor soul of this child. See cause if you miss even one bomb, well they all go off. Disarm all of them or None of them!! HAha! Now I'd hurry along. The timer has already begun!!” The joker slams the camera back into place on the tripod so that both Danny and the digital clock behind him are visible.

He keeps his face carefully neutral as he watches the Joker waltz past him to presumably where the exit is located in this mess of a warehouse. He can hear the distant sounds of a door slamming and a large padlock clicking shut before a car starts up and drives off.

Well. This is not how he expected to spend his evening.

Last thing he remembered was trying to put together how much savings he had saved up so he could visit Jazz at college and meeting with his mom and dad for his birthday supper at nasty burger… After that it just became fuzzy and when he tried to think harder his head started to pound and the stinging of his temple seemed to double in intensity. Weird.. Not the current concern though. Time to get out of here. He couldn’t see the clock from where he was tied up but he could assume it probably wasn’t the most gracious amount of time.

He shifted back to lean into the back of the chair and wiggled his hands and fingers to figure out just how tight he was tied up. Tight but not terrible. He still had the normal amount of decreased blood flow in his hands. So, not as tight as the GIW goons like to do them but tight enough to bruise his skin.

Scowling lightly, his left hand phased through the ropes with little issue before bringing both arms around front to wiggle his torso out of the rooms holding him to the chair. His legs took a bit more work from slightly numb fingers to work the knots open and free his legs.

Pushing himself to his feet and nearly falling flat on his face was a surprise however. His legs felt like dead weight. Pins and needles starting in his thighs alerting him to the lack of blood flow to his lower half. His legs were.. Asleep? That was not normal. With his slowed heart rate and half dead metabolism the only times that ever happened was when he was with nocturne and went into a more “dead sleep” as he liked to call it. Usually the ancient would help him wake up before it got that far though..

Letting go of the chair that he had used to catch himself and half shuffling half limping over to the camera he scowled at the older model and flipped the screen so he could see what was being recorded.

A very static filled screen with hints of warehouse at the edges. Perfect. That was normal at least then, well normal for him around non ecto- contaminated electronics. He stepped back towards the chair and watched the static recede with his figure from the camera. Alright, hopefully this works.

“Hey uh.. Look I am not who he thinks I am? I am fine, I'll disarm the bomb here as best I can and then I’ll head out.. It seems like we are by a river? So I am hoping no workers are around but better to get rid of the thing, am I right?” He chuckled nervously, hand coming up to wipe at the beads of blood trailing down his cheek.

“So uh yeah Ill just do that and go? Uhh.. Yeah bye.” He nods a bit as he walks back to it and shuts the camera off.

Alright disarming a bomb.. It can’t be that hard can it? The mess of wires and C4 clay connecting the bomb and the cylinders looked more like a mess of silly string and playdoh than anything. Well it was more intuitive than the wiring his dad used at least.

Alright so that one to there.. That one connects the detonator and the… Right. Ok looks like separating the yellow and purple wires from the timer and the green and red from the detonator and back up detonator should prevent this thing from turning this entire area into a gas covered crater. Hopefully.

Using his fingers he disconnects the first two wires from each other only swearing slightly when electricity races through the wires and singes his fingertips. He sucks on the finger that got the worst of it before turning his other hand invisible and pushing it into the bomb to disconnect the wires hidden within the clay casing without disturbing anything that would set the backup detonator off.

“Fucking clowns… Robbing banks, kidnapping people, and now bombs.. Of all the things that could make me hate clowns more..” He grumbled around his finger under his breath as he observed the bomb closely and used his enhanced hearing to listen for the tell tale buzz of the still live bomb.

Silence.

Good. Now to get the hell outta dodge and figure out a way back to Amity.

And maybe pick up another coffee.

He wiped his fingers on his now rumpled jeans and dirty shirt before walking directly through the wall out to the side of the warehouse.

Tim was a smart kid. Sure he could get a little.. Exuberant, when something caught his attention. But that was normal. Completely normal. So maybe he gets a little sleep deprived now and then and maybe a little dehydrated, but that doesn’t mean anything!

Any person would stay up for 4 days straight to figure out why the riddler changed the font of his riddles to make sure it wasn’t some convoluted plan that meant he was working with some cult or was a clone working as a distraction for something larger!!

So sue him for drinking from a random coffee in the mess of half empty mugs in the hidden study he was working in, that may and or may not (read: definitely was) laced with enough melatonin and benadryl to knock out a horse while he was distracted with a case.

That was 13 hours ago.

Waking up from a sleep like that can always be a little disorienting. So when the silence of the manor finally reaches his muddled mind through the thick fog of sleep he immediately clocks something as wrong and is fighting to wake himself up fully. He narrows his eyes at the cups around him before pushing himself up and stumbling down the halls to the kitchen where he can grab a can of cold coffee from Dick’s stash hidden in the locked minifridge.

A few good sips from that has him at least alert enough to clock once again just how quiet and still the manor is. Now to be fair the manor was always a revolving door for the Wayne family and friends. But the only people who were often living here were him, Alfred, Bruce, and the demon brat.

Even with such a big place like the manor he should at least be able to pick up the tell tale signs of Bruce listening to music while doing paperwork or Alfred moving around the manor cleaning, or even the demon Brat playing with his menagerei or working with his literal arsenal of sharp weapons in his room.

Now, Silence.

Ok so based on his phone he was out for about 13 hours. That wasn’t all that long. He had gone longer without checking in so it's not like B had everyone panicking looking for him.. But where was everyone?

He lifted the cold coffee to his lips again and reveled in the bitter taste for a second before starting off towards the cave. It was probably fine. They were probably just out on patrol and Alfred was probably out doing something or other..

The cave was in a state of pandemonium. Well as much pandemonium as could be considered as such for the bat family. B, Dick, Steph and Damian were all standing staring up at the main computer. Well Dick was holding on to the hood of Damian who looked like he was trying to escape the grasp to get to his weapons and Bruce looked downright murderous. Even Dick and Steph looked pissed off.

The lilting and crazed sound of the joker's laugh echoed in the cavernous space of the cave and his scarred face and lithe body filled up most of the screen. He seems to have wandered in, just in the middle of the Clowns next big scheme. Great.

"Well, it seems the young CEO has some gal to him! What’s to say I finish this knock-knock joke with a punch line hmm? Better hurry Batsy you know how much I love a good punchline."

CEO huh? Wonder who he grabbed this time, he scowls slightly as he takes another sip of the cold drink only to choke as Joker steps aside and he catches a glimpse of himself?!!

He coughs sharply and feels 4 pairs of sharp eyes swing to him. Out of the corner of his eye he can see 3 sets of shoulders relax slightly and 1 set of suspicious eyes immediately start ping ponging between the screen and him as he works to clear his windpipe of cold brew.

“What the fu-” He starts to cough out before being interrupted by Not Tim.

"Look uh… Joker right? I think you have the wrong person" Not Tim starts as the camera tries to focus on them but seems to have difficulty as the picture around him is warped and covered in pixels and static. Even his voice had a slightly warped and staticky quality to it.

Shit. Everyone in Gotham knows not to give the joker sass.

“You have half an hour, Bats. Half an hour before the smart mouth here learns what the taste of good old-fashioned lead tastes like.” The joker cuts the guy off as he takes a few steps towards the man. And man he was.. Damn he looked skinny and honestly not that great from the little bits and pieces he could see of him through the static and distortion but the closer the Joker got to the kid the more the static seemed to open up a bit.

All eyes are drawn back to the Joker as he pulls his revolver from his coat pocket and aims it at what he can only assume is the other boy's forehead. Bruce- No Batman, the cowl and uniform were on. Was already leaping into the batmobile and Robin and spoiler weren’t far behind him. Here’s hoping Oracle had already pinpointed the location this was at, but it was unlikely even B and the others would get there in time to save this kid from Joker's wrath.

“Look-” the kid tries again and he can hear the slight waver in their voice as the Joker obscures the camera’s view of the kid.

He feels his jaw tick as he looks back up the screen, feet slowly carrying him up to the platform to stand just behind Dick as they watch the unfolding scene. The pixelation and distortion of the screen was visible in an almost halo effect around the joker as he stands just in front of the boy. The boy was completely obscured but the joker was perfectly clear.. Well about as clear as an old video camera got. Looked like from the quality like it was an old D90 digital point and shoot.

Not known for having video problems like this though..

BANG.

He scowls looking directly at the screen even as his stomach rolls slightly, expecting to see the blood start dripping down the guys pixelated form and his head to be forced back by the metal pole from which Joker had probably skewered him with his gag gun.

Blood and guts weren’t exactly a new thing to him and his siblings. Especially not in this profession. Not in this town..

““Hehe! Whoopsies!” The lack of blood that he is seeing as the Joker laughs and steps back enough for them to get a quick view of the form before the pixels swarm back in to obscure him.

“This thing just has a mind of its own!” The Joker prattles on as he reaches past Dick to press a few keys on the keyboard and bring up a still shot of the somewhat blurry but probably the clearest view they have had of the person tied up so far. It sits hovering in the left corner as the Joker goes on to prattle about his plans for destroying the city or the bats or whatever in the background.

“Now as I was saying, As much as i'm sure Mr. Wayne would like for you to come and rescue him, you my little friends have some more important things to be dealing with!”

“Mr. Wayne?” he says quietly to Dick who was standing beside him leaning forwards to look closer at the screen.

“Thinks it’s you apparently.” He responds sounding confused himself as he glances between the still shot and Tim with narrowed eyes.

He just shakes his head slightly as he starts running the still shot through the city's databases. He hears Oracle reporting sites of possible bombs to B and the others as Dick stands up and walks off to get on his bike to go help.

“Nightwing you're with Red who I hear is completely fine by the way.” The voice says pointedly as Tim slides a com into his ear.

“Hey it's not my fault you guys thought it was me!” He retorts as he slips into his uniform and starts his bike to follow Nightwing out of the cave towards the docks.

“Oh Noooo It's not like the black haired insomniac who went MIA for half a day definitely couldn’t be the Black haired unconscious insomniac tied up by The Joker of all people.” Jason retorts shortly through the comms as they pull away form the cave. He can see Dick smirk a bit as they make the trip over to the area Oracle sent them.

“Nice to hear from you too.” He snarks back slightly, even more annoyed now, knowing that even Jason was brought in on this. He did not need more blackmail for Todd to use against him. “Why is the walking dead helping anyways. Shouldn’t he be digging his own grave again?”

“Fuck you too replacement.” Comes the annoyed response.

“Enough.” B’s voice cuts across the banter. “While the unknown civilian was unconscious we could see him a lot better on camera. After being unable to contact and locate you we assumed the worst. Focus on your missions. I want all bombs and statuses related to Oracle as they are defused.” The communicator clicked slightly meaning he had been put back to a channel with only him and Nightwing and presumably Oracle if she was still listening, well she was always listening but not the point.

“Did they really look that much like me?” He asks after a few seconds of silent racing through the paved alleys and streets of gotham. The docks on the gotham river weren’t too far off he could smell it in the distance through his helmet. The building they were going to was in Gotham Proper (the lower of course).

“Yeah. They did.” Nightwing responds, his voice slightly strained showing that he was concerned that it really had been Tim kidnapped at the time.

“Huh..” Is all he can respond with as he thinks back to the still shot and pulls his bike to a stop behind Nightwing in the alley across from the building that Oracle sent them.

From the outside it was dark, not exactly clean and obviously uninhabited. The same couldn’t be said for the remainder of the buildings on the street. Light from covered windows and the distant rattle of a cart being dragged showed the life wading through the heavy atmosphere of Gotham lower.

Once Nightwing and him had gotten into the building and had located the bomb. Connected to laughing gas. New batch probably seeing as Robin and B had destroyed the last manufacturing plant. Which means no immediate antidote. Great.

He sighs as he pulls open his wrist computer to start analyzing the wiring only for his com to be reconnected with a flurry of activity from the others. Making him and Nightwing glance at each other as he worked on disarming the bomb in front of them.

“He’s escaped-”

“Not Possible-!!”

“He’s gonna get himself blown up?!!”

“Quiet.” The commanding voice of Batman broke across the chaos of the comms silencing all of the voices at once. No one wanted to cross a direct order from Batman.

“Oracle. What is going on.” He continued after a moment of silence.

“The civilian managed to escape his bonds and is going to attempt to defuse the bomb at the warehouse.” Her voice was calm and for the most part steady as they had all been trained to be when giving reports but the slight tremor was unmistakable. She was concerned.

To be fair, so was Tim. Who was this kid? Why did he think he could diffuse a bomb??! Especially one made to specifically lull those into a false sense of security only to blow up in your face a second later! A glance over at Nightwing showed he was just as concerned about the news as he was.

“Ill deal with it.” Batman’s voice responds after a brief pause and then the coms are silent once more aside from Oracle directing members of the bat family to the secondary bomb locations of those who had managed to defuse the initial ones.

He hissed softly as a sharp jolt manages to pierce his insulated gloves when he disconnects two of the wires. He can feel Nightwing’s eyes on the back of his head but he ignores the look and continues reaching further into the bomb to find the last 2 wires that had to be disconnected from the detonator and backup detonator.

He pulls his hand out and Nightwing reports that they defused the bomb getting an affirmative grunt from Batman.

“Bomb at the warehouse has already been defused. Civilian is no longer in the building or immediate area. Robin and I will go after the joker. Keep your eyes open for the civilian. I want them found. There was blood at the scene, they may need assistance.” Batman’s words are short and clipped but the concern and curiosity are there.

That only works to make Tims curiosity over this whole thing even worse.

After a brief discussion, Nightwing and him split up in hopes of covering more of Gotham to see if they can find this strange civilian. Oracle was going to keep an eye out on the cameras but Tim had his doubts that that would work with how the camera acted when it recorded the stranger.

Pausing on the edge of the roof he crouches down slightly to pull up the footage of the Jokers video before he got to the cave. All this concern over if this kid was him or not was starting to bug him. B and the others prided themselves on being able to pick out small details. Small differences. That is what made them such great detectives!

So how was it there was someone out there that looked exactly like him, was not in any of the records of Gotham and that also got captured by the joker? It just wasn’t plausible!

Now sure dopplegangers, clones, shapeshifting aliens, those were all things that came with the lifestyle and things that they had encountered and dealt with but usually with all that they tended to claim that they were the original.

Well most of the time at least.

But not this kid.. He scrubs through the footage quickly on his wrist hologram, it was just so weird.. One minute the Joker is setting up the camera and laughing as he taunted the Bats, an unconscious “Tim” in the background. The next his eyes flashed open under the black fringe of hair and the pixels and distortion just appeared!

Ok that was kinda weird, he’s pretty sure he has that shirt.. And those shoes but they were way cleaner and didn’t look like they had run a mile and a half through the swamp. The lighting was crummy enough in the warehouse that he supposed the jeans could look like the new pre- worn pair that he got from Kon.. Just who was this guy?

He pauses the feed after the Joker leaves and the guy manages to get out of the ropes holding him to the chair in a frankly worrying amount of time. No civilian knew how to get out of ropes that fast. Not even a tried and true gothamite who got tied up on the regular.

The stumbling and almost falling flat on his face on the concrete definitely was not something that spoke to someone who was just knocked out however. Drugged maybe? Or a concussion?? Both of those weren’t above something that the Joker would do..

And there is the static and distortion again. What the hell is going on with this camera and this guy.. It's like the static was specifically hiding this guy's identity! It followed him for god's sake as he walked away from the camera!

“Hey uh.. Look I am not who he thinks I am? I am fine, I'll disarm the bomb here as best I can and then I’ll head out.. It seems like we are by a river? So I am hoping no workers are around but better to get rid of the thing, am I right?”

The voice was similar in tone to his but even with the distortion warping it it had an accent to it. He couldn’t place the accent immediately but it was definitely there. “So uh yeah Ill just do that and go? Uhh.. Yeah bye.” The camera shuts off shortly after that concerning statement. Although, he supposed there was nothing to really be concerned about? After all this guy diffused the bomb. And well enough to have B concerned.

The sound of a trash can falling over and quiet swearing from a few alley’s over quickly garners his attention. Probably some drunk stumbling around but better to be safe than sorry. He deftly stands from his crouch and swings over the next few rooves, dropping onto the edge of the roof to look down into the darkened alley curiously.

That was.. That was the civilian. Well guess it's his lucky day! Wait - night? Night.

“SHit?!” Danny hisses to himself as he clips his foot against the metal trash bin sending it and whatever was inside crashing onto the already disgusting alleyway. His one leg was still bothering him for some reason. The pins and needles had barely eased up in his leg calf and foot and yet his right leg had returned to normal already. Something was up with that.

He lifts his hand to his left brow to double check the bleeding from the gunshot (stab? Cut- thing?) had eased off and closed up. With how polluted Gotham was already he didn’t need to be adding his weird ass blood to the mix. Luckily enough for him it seemed that Gotham had a larger than normal amount of ambient ectoplasm in the area meaning he could heal up his wounds faster then he would be able to using his own ectoplasmic energies.

“Son of A BI-” He spits out as he trips over a shade that darts out of a wall and makes him fall face first into the sticky and wet alley ground. He groans annoyed as he pushes himself back up to his knees and looks at his shirt and pants. How the hell was he supposed to explain this mess to his parents now… He smelled like piss and vomit and unfiltered ectoplasmic waste. They would already be pissed he missed his birthday supper and now he was in another state entirely. Fuck.

Someone was watching him.

He blinks slowly knowing the familiar feeling of eyes on him but this time it wasn’t some ghost. No, these eyes had weight behind them that ghosts simply couldn’t convey.

Homeless? … No, too intense.. Robber? Probably not but can’t be ruled out… Murderer? Well knowing his luck..

He frowns to himself and glances down at his left leg before pushing himself to his feet and angling himself to see if he could spot the person watching him without letting them know he knows they are there. As long as it was just some human he can lose them pretty easily by walking through a few walls but if it was something else.. Well he will cross that bridge when he gets there.

There. On the roof. He could just barely see the slight movement as whoever this was slid out of his line of sight.

Fuck. Probably a vigilante then. That was the last thing he needed right now. He just needed 5 minutes to himself to breathe, check his leg, and get the ring out of his pocket dimension to tear himself a portal back to amity.

He takes the next turn down the maze of allies and picks up his pace only to practically turn the corner and run into a dark figure about a head shorter than him.

He scowls slightly as he takes in the cape and domino mask. So a vigilante then. He was right. Damn.

“Where are you off to?” The guy smirks, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks up at Danny. His outfit was a mix or red and black armour. Well at least the armour cut some nice figures over his outline.. Wonder if being hot was a necessity for being a vigilante here.

“Anywhere but where I was.” He answers cryptically, crossing his own arms over his chest as he gets a better look at this guy. Sharp jaw, thick black hair, high cheekbones, fit- damn if this dude wasn’t a vigilante he would be just his type..

“Well that's one way to answer, but seriously why are you out here? Don’t you know it's dangerous out here at this time of night?” The vigilante frowns slightly as if he was worried about Danny of all people.

“I.. I can take care of myself.” He responds shortly as he looks down at the smaller hero and moves to step around the guy. “Now if you don't mind.”

“I do mind actually,” Red responds, reaching out to grab his arm.

Danny moves out of reach as quickly as he can, letting this guy's hand phase through his arm to prevent him from actually touching him.

“Don’t. Don’t.. Don’t touch me.” He snaps out quickly trying to reign in his emotions before he actually did something to this guy he might regret.

“Look, it's been a long night. I just want to get home and sleep all this” He waves vaguely around and behind him “off. So I don't know what you want or who you think you are but leave. Me. Alone.”

He glares at the vigilante, hoping that this would work. Maybe if he was just rude and annoying enough the guy would back off enough for him to go intangible and get into one of these buildings so he can properly work on getting home.

Red just raises a brow making his mask arch with the movement, as his hands come up in a surrendering gesture.

“Easy there friend, look probably not the best way to have started this encounter but it's clear you aren't from around here. And therefore probably don't know who I am” He says the last bit under his breath.

Danny can't help the small snort that he gives that sentence but otherwise doesn't acknowledge him aside from just glaring.

“Names Red Robin, vigilante of Gotham. And you are??…” the guy- red Robin, offers him a hand to shake like a peace offering.

He considers the hand for a moment before sighing through his nose and dragging a hand through his hair. He shakes the hand and drops it quickly to keep the contact to a minimum. He didn’t need to give Red another reason to be suspicious and his lower body temperature tended to be a cause of concern for people who didn’t know him. He grits his teeth a bit before shifting his weight off his left leg. The feeling was still coming back, if a lot slower than normal. He would have to have Sam take a look when he got back.

“Danny. Now I really do need to be going.” He says shortly. “So if that's all.”

“You're injured.”

Those two words make him freeze and his heart stop In his chest.

“Look we can help just-”

He didn't even notice when this body decided to start running but he was. Dark and twisting alleys flashing past him as he pressed his legs to go faster. He couldn’t phase here. He said ‘we’. Who was we?? The GIW?? Fuck if he was working with them- who was he kidding they all probably were, the justice league any of their little hero's. Fuck he needed to get out of here yesterday.

He risked a glance behind him as he could still feel the energy of the person chasing him but for the moment he was out of sight. He had to risk it. There's no way a Gotham Vigilante would give up the chase. He'd seen what they were like from the news.

He dove around the corner and threw intangibility around himself like a familiar cloak as he nearly crashed through the brick wall that made up the end of the alley.

He quickly stopped breathing as he heard the near silent steps round the corner he did just seconds ago. The vigilante was alone still… For now. He couldn't stick around to see how long that would last. He stuck his hand into the fabric of reality and opened up his pocket dimension sliding the ring onto his finger with a small frown at the familiar overwhelming wave of power that accompanied the damn thing.

He shifted slightly and let the phase cover him silently till he was back as Phantom. It was familiar at least. Being Phantom. Not ‘high king Phantom’ just.. Phantom.

He shook his head as he listened to the other side of the wall. Red Robin seemed to be talking to someone but there were no other signs of living energy in the 500M radius of the two of them. Must be some sort of communication system.. sounded like it wasn't working very well if the muttered curses were anything to go by.

That would be his cue to leave anyways. If the vigilante put 2 and 2 together about the electronics.. If he hasn't already. He really would be screwed.

The high-pitched whine of something being launched and catching on the roof above him had him simultaneously ripping a hole in the fabric of reality and turning to look at the windows that were not boarded up, above his hiding space.

The minute toxic green eyes met those of the domino mask he was throwing himself through the portal and sealing it shut behind him.

[sapphicscholar]

Hacks Episode 4.02 Thoughts

*Shorter notes for this ep! Putting them below the cut in case anyone is waiting to watch the show in one go!

Okay as someone who’s been all alone on a big estate (housesitting) with coyotes surrounding the property, their barks are creepy af, and, beyond being an easy way to metaphorically represent Ava and Deborah’s dynamic, I appreciate the atmospheric work they’re doing. They’re unsettling! We don’t feel on solid ground, and we shouldn’t! The core of the show has fissured! It’s also a really nice way to remind the audience of the complicated duality of Deborah: alone at night, she can call the dogs up into bed to cuddle her when the moment of "weakness" won’t be glimpsed by anyone else (bc it’s also one of those “you’re lonely all the time” moments where Deborah is so isolated in a world whose relative foreignness—it’s not Vegas anymore, baby!—makes it feel vast and untamed), but by morning she’s the Deborah who hacks a fish’s head off without an ounce of squeamishness as she does the dirty work of cleaning up a bloody carcass without pause

I really appreciate the continuation of the tension between Ava and Deborah that is only ramping up instead of simmering out! I particularly love where the fight outside the comedy club ends up: Deborah’s declaration that she was wrong to have hired Ava because of how many eyes are on the show while she’s utterly and blithely unaware of how many eyes are on her (saying a lot of Not Good things) at that very moment! The way Deborah refuses to acknowledge that her having let Ava move her and change her comedy is what made the jump up to Late Night possible (insisting instead that it made her niche when in fact we know it sold out on QVC in minutes)! It does a really nice but subtle job of illustrating how Deborah can blind herself to what’s right there in front of her when she self-isolates. This isn't to say Ava's perfect, but Deborah's digging in her heels and losing sight of where she was before Ava vs. who she let herself become alongside Ava

The Americana apartment! I love this callback to the S1 Palmetto living situation as we see Ava thrown once more (again and again and again) into this weird liminal space that both is and isn’t home. Like the coyotes, it’s a nice way of communicating a lot about a character’s mental state and emotions without having them monologue it out or getting into heavy-handed shit. (Also, this is exactly the kind of scene where Kayla excels; her delivery of the Jersey Mike’s line will live in my head rent free)

Bitchabod Crane my beloved

Ava in a leather jacket pulling the chair out for Deborah even while they’re feuding, my beloved-er

The dinner at Winnie’s house was so great – there is nothing like a power dyke to lay down the law and throw some hard truths at Ava and Deborah’s feet while they’re both fucking themselves and their dreams over in a bid to hurt the other just a little bit more. I know there were some mixed feelings about the revelation that it wasn’t a contest bt Deb and someone else, but instead bt Deb and no show at all, with some feeling that it cheapened Deborah’s accomplishment, but imo it actually shows exactly how much of a risk they’re willingly taking with her (which makes her accomplishment that much bigger) while giving teeth to the narrative and amping up the stakes of their feud. And it goes to show that, while they’re both fish out of water here, Ava really is still a stranger to the some of the most brutal realities of show business, which all culminates in that hug—fucking devastating in the best of ways

Marcus, my darling… Getting to see him and Deborah sitting at the table as equals is everything I wanted out of Marcus’ arc, and I do truly hope he gets to find his way back to being a fan if that brings him joy.  

Critiques (both informed by what has come in the following 3 eps too)

Okay, so I don’t hate Deb’s psychic (and I know many love her--to each their own), but I find her presence here to be emblematic of exactly what I’m not enjoying about this season/later seasons Hacks: the guest stars are there too often and not doing enough—more gimmicks than plot. I love that the show is big enough that everyone wants to be on it! I don’t love that they’re largely doing it in ways that feel schlocky. Like okay, we get to see the psychic tell Ava that her aura isn’t blue anymore. That’s nice. But anyone paying the barest amount of attention already knows that Ava’s shifted away from her previous MO (hence the s3 finale shift from Ava’s moral high ground in that beautiful, devastating fight in Deborah’s living room to the conference room “I would, wouldn’t you?” moment). And the hat on a hat line is too inside baseball to land for most viewers, in addition to being another thing we can see and glean for ourselves without being hit over the head with it in a direct line.

I like Jimmy, especially in this new mediating role he's being forced to take between Ava and Deborah, but I don’t find the screentime for his and Kayla’s new firm justified. Especially now that I’m halfway through the season, it’s not adding nearly enough to the storyline to be taking as much time as it does.

[writingfreezer]

”would you still love me if i was a worm?” ratiorine/aventio

the air outside was filled with fog as the pair walked home from their respective jobs. to be fair, they did work for the same organization, just under different titles.

the younger of the two strutted along, hands in his front pockets as he looked around nonchalantly. every so often he’d fix the posture of his expensive watch or throw his overhanging bangs to the side. it looked almost intentional, how long his hair was.

the other man, who appeared to have a generally larger build than the other, walked beside him. his eyes were half-lidded as he looked forward, not in a tired way, but a pretty tense way. he wore clothing much different to the younger, loose-fitting blue pants and a very tight black top with some sort of blanket thrown around his shoulder, making him look like a greek philosopher. the younger wore a white suit with some green and black details, so you could tell their different taste in fashion.

the younger was whistling to a familiar tune as they walked, looking at the apartment complexes passing them by. suddenly, he turned to look at the taller one. he roamed his expression, searching for something that only he knew how to find. it went on for so long (not long at all) that the taller sighed and turned to look down at the man beside him with an irritated look.

”you’re staring,” he noted. his golden eyes shone in the afternoon sun, and it was hard to say that he didn’t suit the yellow glow of the evening as lighting.

”you are now as well, you know,” the younger remarked. he smirked with a boyish grin as he waited for the other to respond, which he did with only one look. the same look he’d been sporting since the shorter decided to strike up a conversation.

”alright, my bad.” the younger laughed and held his hands up in mock-surrender. now that he was tilting his head down, you could see the slight brown outgrowth in the roots of his hair. ”look, i was wondering something. it’s-”

as he looked up to continue explaining, he was met with the look from the older that he’d learnt meant ”please shut the fuck up.”

immediately, he did shut the fuck up and cleared his throat awkwardly to look forward.

the older furrowed his brows slightly, but only slightly, and blinked a few times. did he do something wrong? why did the younger stop talking?

he tried clearing his throat as well to show him that he was still present, but what he didn’t understand was that it added immensely to the already very tense and awkward situation. the younger, being fed up with this useless atmosphere, spoke up out of nowhere;

”would you still love me if i was a worm?” he asked, tone clear. he didn’t look up from the road, and he had somewhat buried his hands deeper in his pockets.

the older, taken slightly aback, tilted his head slightly as he walked.

”that depends,” he began, and he could immediately feel the younger’s mood dampening a little. he ignored the uncomfortable sting in his heart and continued. ”in this hypothetical scenario, am i still a human, or have i also been turned into a worm? or were we worms from birth? asexual freshwater planarians do not have a libido because they…”

the younger, who had regretted asking the question as soon as the words left his mouth, held back from sighing and instead zoned out somewhere far, far away as they walked back home. it was stupid, really, to ask the dr. veritas ratio, harborer of many phd’s including one in philosophy, a simple question about fucking worms. of course he had to turn it into a monologue that not even prometheus could top.

”…venturine. look at me.”

aventurine blinked away the fogginess of his sight and looked up to the man next to him. a small wave of shame crept up on him as he realized he’d probably missed the answer he had asked for. he nodded slowly with round eyes to show that he was listening.

”we must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. we must learn to sail in high winds.” the doctor said, and the gambler knew very well that those were not his words, but someone far, far back who probably wore clothing similar to the man next to him. what does that mean again?

”it means that you should stop expecting me to not take your questions literally. i’m just exploring every answer that is available to me.” ah.

”well,” aventurine began, looking down again. ”if you could choose one answer, which would it be?”

”i cannot do that.”

”doctor, please-”

the doctor sighed and rubbed his nose the way he always did to show his irritation, as if everything else wasn’t enough. ”am i also a worm?”

aventurine thought long and hard about it. realistically, for most people, they’d say no, only the person asking is a worm. but, if he knew his partner well, he’d say the wrong answer if those were the circumstances, so he didn’t say that.

”yes, and we have been worms from the start,” he said, not really caring to sound very cheerful. ”and we are not asexual. we’re still gay.”

”actually, i’m bisex-”

”you get it.”

”…yes,” was all the doctor said. he continued walking and staring straight ahead as he did before.

the gambler blinked. ”what? yes to what?”

”… to the question. if you were a worm,” ratio sounded kind of awkward now, which was unusual for him. it was kind of nice to hear, actually.

”oh. so… yes, you’d love me if i was- if we were worms.” he slowly looked up to the taller man, holding his breath waiting for the answer, even though he probably knew what it was already.

”yes, that’s what i answered to,” ratio said bluntly.

”oh. that’s… nice to hear. thank you for your input.”

the shorter smiled and resumed to look around them as they walked, whistling on that same tune as before.

[daemon-in-my-head]

Haven't done one of these in ages but ask game kinda ish except I'm including an obnoxious twist?

Songs that describe ur Durge or Durgetash in situations - but without lyrics, were going with vibes lads

Here are the rules: it must be an instrumental piece. No lyrics. For further details nd exaples see the end of the post. Also, explain why you chose it. What's the vibe you're going for? How does it relate to the character? Are there particular sections in the music you have specific visions or smth for? A rather quiet passage that resembles their emotional state? Is it messy because they are messy? That kind of stuff.

Their overall vibe, what's the song that makes you go 'yeah that's them in a nutshell'?

If Durge had an intro; what's the bg music and if ya feel like it, what's happening at which parts of the track?

Act 1; what plays on the rock behind their tent if they had one?

Act 2; if their inner monologue plays, what track accompanies it?

Act 3 - before the temple; how we doing? What's our vibe? What little tune accompanies them? Are we a lil tense, relaxed, what's going on?

Act 3 - after the temple; what music speaks for their choices and mindset? How fucked is the sword coast?

Faerûn is a magic medival setting, the esteemed upper city gatherings didn't have a rock star to create the ambiance, so what would the little ensemble play to describe whatever a tyrant and a Bhaalspawn got going on to the listening patriars pre tadpole?

Obv, what's the vibe like after that slight amnesia and forgetting all about the sad little racoon man like between em? What updated version does the ensemble play for the nosy patriars?

Also generally if it differe; what's the vibe of pre tadpole Durge like?

The vibe some time after the epilogue when the dust settled - what describes this 'new' durge?

Bonus cuz why not; the one piece of music that describes Gort or his side best?

I should specify what I mean with instrumental: grand orchestras, classical pieces, a single guitar, reimaginations of classic pieces or pop songs, movie or game soundtracks, any kind of instrumental track rly, the only retirement is that there's no distinguishable lyrics. Vocals are fine if it's atmospheric like for example, the vocals in DOS2 main theme or the nightsong track. Let the music and vibes speak for themselves. Think about what ur listening and what aspects of your characters it matches. How is it of relevance to them?

[cntarella]

Okay, so more cogent thoughts on Nosferatu (2024):

It was a very middling movie in everything except the costuming, set design, and art direction — which were top notch. I also give it props for the great lighting, i.e. being one of the few movies set mostly in the night where you can actually see what's going on. Eggers and Blaschke really used light and shadow extremely well in a few scenes, thinking here in particular of that one shot of Ellen (i.e. Lily Rose Depp) on the bed with the side profile of her shadow on the pillow and that ending shot of Von Franz (i.e. Willem Dafoe) illuminated in the mirror that were genuinely such beautiful, artistic frames. Visually, great movie. But visuals can't make up for a script and a cast that were stilted as all hell.

First of all, the screenplay itself was trying way too hard. No one spoke in a particularly convincing way — everything was long monologues, diatribes really, that were meant to be ominous and add to the gothic atmosphere. But it was pure narration, nothing left to the actual interpretation of the other storytelling elements to convey horror. Instead of letting the atmosphere carry the mood, it relied so much on telling us "btw this is the horrifying thing happening, this is why it is horrifying" and genuinely felt like they didn't think people would understand...what was essentially a very basic story. Where tf is the dude that wrote The Lighthouse??? This cannot be the same man.

Second, the acting. Or the lack of acting!!! At least on the part of Lily Rose Depp. This woman cannot act, I'm sorry. The people who praise her for this role, I'm asking: did we see the same movie? This woman cannot modulate her voice beyond two slightly differentiated tones, and same goes for her facial expressions. Dead delivery for a floundering script, and considering she was most of the movie, made for an incredibly boring 2 hours. I will say, she did some great body acting but that's probably the only thing she did with any sort of panache. The rest felt too committed to showing her off in the sexiest waif girl light that it could, rather than actually making use of her as an actress.

She and her castmates had no chemistry either, especially between her and Nicholas Hoult and Bill Skarsgard. I'm supposed to believe this woman's husband would traverse the snowy mountains of Transylvania with nothing but a coat and a horse to get back to her after THE most sexless kisses??? I'm supposed to believe that Nosferatu was enticed by her "passion" and her dead-eyed impression of romance???

Speaking of sex scenes, there were a few in the movie that were just so bad. Lily Rose Depp making the same pornhub "uh uh uh" moans during ALL of these scenes, with little change in delivery or intonation. And I do mean "uh uh uh," it was embarrassingly bad and not just because the sex itself was badly simulated by her partners.

And then there's Nosferatu himself. What a disappointment. I wanted something grotesque, I wanted something fun. We kept getting teased about Bill Skarsgard's "horrific transformation" but like. It was a bald cap and a coat. It was a prosthetic nose. The most grotesque thing about him was being...emaciated? Slightly deformed? Kinda middle aged looking? I don't know that we saw enough of him to really be able to judge his acting on this particular film, but imo he did a better job as Pennywise than in this role. It was just the most mid monster one could potentially want to fuck, unbelievably mid.

The "gore" people kept warning about was very very light, very standard for a horror movie and not even the most grotesque in recent memory (First Omen still had this beat by a long long long shot in terms of actual grotesquerie). Some frontal nudity that was nothing to write home about. But at least there were 2,000 rats. At least we had that.

2.5/5 stars

[missamyrisa2]

The Selection

Alex grunted in satisfaction. Another workout nearly in the books, and he was on a hot streak for slipping past selection. The new gym brought with it a wealth of always-clean machines, a quiet atmosphere free of the usual jabbering from muscletown devotees, and somehow the best smelling facility he'd ever been in. The Selection, was another matter. And one he intended to continue avoiding.

Letting the elliptical gradually slow, Alex carefully scanned his path of retreat. He'd seen too many people get nabbed coming out the locker room or nailed while filling their water bottle. Efficiency was the key: get in, do your work and get the fuck out. His inner voice echoed. Hey I wonder if the other guys lost out because they had no inner monologue. You know, that's really a thing. Like isn't it just so bizarre someone not hearing something like this? I can't imagine it. I can't not talk to myself all the time like this. Oh god, am I always talking to myself? Maybe that's weirder. Fuck! Gotta concentrate. Oh man, that girl by the entrance was talking about her fruit salads again and if she mentions the kumquats I'm gonna lose it. That is the funniest word seriously. I need to write that book about funny sounding words that'll totally be~

Grasping his ponytail, Alex silenced his inner self and started padding towards the cubbies on the far wall. Bypassing the locker room and simply keeping a tiny bag for his belongings while changing in the car had been his saving grace. Finally a perfect gym, and he wasn't going to let this little weird thing they do get in the way of that. Not with beach season rapidly approaching.

Everyone had to agree to this process in order to enjoy this unbelievable facility. It seemed like the simplest waver, mostly because no one really read the details of the terms. The Selection was supposedly random but he'd heard rumors the owners preselect the candidates, and he couldn't help but notice the guy working the entrance desk had been casting some careful gazes all morning. I'm already on my way out. There's no way now. I'll turn and run.

And yet, his heel could have made an audible skidding sound as Alex stopped dead in his tracks. The unmistakable tri-horn blaring of the process cut through the idle atmosphere of the gym. Gasps rose as the patrons turned. Alex could feel his cheeks lighting up, the shiver up his spine. Just run. His legs wouldn't respond. He felt the eyes on his form. Alex knew it was over. He grasped his little bag. The door was too far way, it seemed miles out of reach now. Even if he made it there, disregarding The Selection was an immediate lifetime ban and there was no way he could act like he didn't hear it now.

"Excuse me, um. Let's see. Alex! Alex?" The voice piped up from behind. Perky, yet with a bite of authority.

Alex sheepishly froze. The remnants of his workout still throbbed in his muscles, his throat suddenly so parched. "Uh?" He murmured. Who's Alex? Not this guy. Must be the guy who just left. Alex who?

"Come on, beast." The shoulder tap and a chuckle. Alex turned wearily. His cheesy silly smile scraped from the ID system was plastered across the TVs. They didn't do that when he'd seen other selections. No deniability; someone wanted him bad for this.

Led past the other gym patrons, some who kept their heads down so as to not be cast in with his lot, others looked with a knowing smirk having done their time. And of course, the one jerk who was all too pleased making like he had an invisible fishing line. "We got a live one! We're reelin' him in! Get your Alex!!"

"Ah ha. Ah ha." Alex attempted a fake laugh as he was led towards the back room. Good one, idiot. We'll come up with something really witty in the shower later.

The back room was surprisingly nondescript, looking like a multi-purpose studio with a few tall mirrors and some hooks on the wall. Alex had expected more of an ornate torture room, or at least something intimidating. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. The Guy was maybe the same age as Alex, sporting a high and tight cut as opposed to Alex's grungier dirty blonde hairstyle. A little shorter than Alex, and commanding much more authority, he flipped over the sheet on his clipboard and gestured to the floor.

"Alright, you know the drill."

Alex absolutely did not know the drill. He didn't know there was a drill. He didn't want to let this guy down. This guy whom Alex had just met, but desperately felt the need to impress.

"Yeah, sure. Cool. No biggie." Probably just an inspection to make sure you're worthy. Those rumors were just to scare you. Like that time the guy in class said he sprayed you with liquid acid and convinced you you'd be tripping balls and then you thought you were and ended up breakdancing on the floor and shut up shut up shut up shut up

Alex shouted down his internal chattering and sat on the mat, knees up resting his arms on it.

"Uh. Heh." The Guy grinned and recognized what was on his hands. He knelt down and nudged Alex back, making him lay flat on the padded mat. "There we go, big guy."

What happened next happened so fast Alex's inner voice went silent. And his body shook with panic as he realized what it was like to have no inner monologue for a time. The Guy flashed a wicked smile and tapped his toes on a segment of the floor. With a whipping woosh, thick black restraints slipped out from the floor and captured Alex's wrists, ankles, and midsection. Still trying to make it look like he knew the Drill, Alex tried very calmly and quietly to test the cuffs around his body. His muscles flexed slightly as he realized this was real. He was completely immobilized and there was no way he could break out. This didn't feel like just a prank to scare or initiate him, this was bad.

"Alright, let's start the clock." The Guy remarked, businesslike but with an air of ... flirtatiousness? The oversized digital clock on the wall blinked to life as if on The Guy's words alone. The numbers shuffled and settled on 59:59. His clipboard set aside on the only table in the room, he knelt down and unceremoniously grasped Alex's black workout shorts.

"Hey wait what the!" Alex resisted, or tried as much as he could to stop this ingress which is to say he wriggled uselessly on the mat as his shorts were brought down. The soft mesh dragged past his lower abdomen, exposed his princely areas and finally left his thighs open before coming to rest at the knees.

"I thought you knew the drill, Alex~" The Guy's voice suddenly bent in a teasing taunting almost squeaking direction that made Alex full on panic, grasping the air and pulling his arms and legs uselessly. "I thought you knew~" He repeated with a lift on that last word, taking out a bottle of massage oil and working it slowly tauntingly into his hands.

"Get away from me you weirdo I'll knock your teeth out!" Alex demanded, his belly flexing and hips trying to buck and twist. He balled his hands into fists and snarled out. Sweat started to bead on his temples as he watched helplessly those oiled up hands floating right for his manhood. "What the fuck! Stop it don't touch me you're dead if you touch! I'll cream you and won't miss a beat!!"

Undeterred, the suddenly very squeaky teasy Guy grasped Alex's royal rod and began slowly working a gentle craft. "Only the best boys will do, and after all you're one of our best." He mused matter of factly, his experienced hands working a pressure and movement Alex found his body desperately wanting to love.

"Nhhh. Noo stopppittttt I'll grrr hhmmnghhhh!!" His mind flooded with imagery and resistance. Alex didn't want to give The Guy the satisfaction of making it that easy to take control of Alex's body. Snarling and seething, Alex surprised himself when it worked. His royal part stayed unresponsive save for a twitch or two no matter how The Guy pumped and stroked and rolled with his palms. Alex smirked seeing the frustration building in the face of his captor. "Messed with the wrong guy huh. I guess your Selection is pretty worthless. Maybe give me a month free and I won't tell everyone how bad you suck!" Alex tried his luck, taunting his captor and further keeping his body unresponsive.

The clock ticked slowly, but steadily. 55:00, 51:12, 48:30. Time marched on and Alex kept a slow hiss and growl as his anchor, his mental power working overtime to run out the clock and never give The Guy what he wanted. "Oh too bad. So sad. Running out of time huh? Do you spend every morning being a big failure?" The Guy looked unbothered but his body language was betraying an annoyance at not making any progress.

Finally, he slowed, and held Alex's limp member lightly. "Alright, big guy. Let's see how tough you really are." The Guy smirked, and nodded to seemingly no one but Alex's body shook with surprise when one of the ceiling length mirrors creaked open and a person emerged from the observation room. A woman a few years younger than Alex appeared through the beam of light, smiling brightly.

"Oh!" He stammered, never expecting this turn of events. And gathering some confidence having shaken off The Guy's efforts, he blustered. "Sending in the big guns huh? Pathetic. Calling some silly girl? What's she gonna do? Do my makeup? Ha!"

Her wall of honey brown hair bobbed and waved as she moved without a word but shared a look with The Guy - a very clear expression of curious amusement. Dressed in blue jeans and a dark floral top along with a gym name badge bearing nothing but a single letter "K", the mystery girl immediately set about to do her business.

With a wink to The Guy she scooted onto the mat and put Alex's head in her lap before holding up her hands to flash a set of perfectly manicured red nails shining in the overhead lights. "Oh give me a fuckin break. Seriously? This is your secret weapon? A girly girl and her nails? Ha!" Yet, Alex felt his stomach drop and his face ignite with blush as she smirked and began wriggling her nails down towards him. The flourish of red waving down quickly began cutting through his resistances.

"eeeehhhh stupid girl" he muttered nonetheless growing weary as she drew her taunting fingers closer to his underarms. He started pulling on the bonds trying to close up shop before those dancing looters arrived, and slipped a squeal when she pulled back before starting anew, nails wriggling high above and slowly descending once more. "Fff-mmmhh!!! ggrrr knock ittt offf!! you doorknob!" He protested as she continued undeterred, this time moving slowly down to fake out his biceps. Alex screamed a giggle this time and his tush bounced in protest as she reset and began again, her nails wiggling to start all over.

This time she leaned over to taunt his twitching tight belly. Alex growled and slipped a whimper as he felt her proximity more than ever and was being broken down by how her hair bobbed over him, how her bright twinkly eyes assessed his every reaction. And as he helplessly watched his belly being taunted with anticipation, he suddenly became aware once more of The Guy, who had been patiently watching and waiting.

"Unnngghhhhh!!" Alex groaned as he couldn't stop his princely part from swelling in the Guy's grip this time, who began ever so slowly working that craft once more. His fingers encircled and began gently stroking and further coaxing out the arousal. What he previously could ward off now was taking over Alex's royal rod and making him rapidly wanting more despite a stream of protests and growls. "Fghhhhhh you suck you can't even do the selection right you're messing with the wrong guy!!"

"Looks like he's being defiant." She mused, her fingers faking out his belly over and over with little wispy graspy and skitters right over the surface of his bouncing tummy. The Guy nodded and mmhmmmed as he continued working up Alex's swollen part, oiled fingers jerking lightly under the tip. "Are we being defiant, Aleeexx?" Her singsong sweet voice made him quiver and shake desperately, his face a mess of pink and strained expressions as he failed to stifle all he groaning growling moans wavering out. His desperate wanting sounds rose more and more as his throbbing prince part neared its climax as her wiggly wriggly nails and nearness continued to overload his senses.

"MmmmgHH! GHRrrr youuuu!! You'll payyyy for thisss unghhh mmhh!! Just justtt okay okayyy! StaAHAPP!! stapppittttt!!! Noo moreeee!"

"Well, you heard him. You can stop till he asks again." K grinned and nodded to the Guy who released Alex's wanting member and left him on the edge, his royal rod wavering and wanting. Alex screamed out in teased frustration, the tingles spreading over his writhing body as they looked down over him with a loving contempt.

The clock read 38:59 as The Guy stepped away into a different mirror door. K simply looked down at Alex as he suffered the edge, her fingers tracing his cheeks and gasping lips, the graze of her nails making him mewl out for her. She cooed and fawned over his writhing, brushing aside his messed up hair to playfully tease his ears with little strokes to make him squeal out for mercy.

Moments later, The Guy excitedly hopped back into the room. "Oh we're not even halfway through and he filled two tanks." K nodded passingly, as if this was not the big news he made it out to be. "And how's our little beastie doing?" He knelt down to Alex's midsection and lightly stroked Alex's falling arousal, making Alex stiffen and whine.

"Unnghhh!!! Quitt it!" The Guy snickered and wiggled his finger along the underside of the rod. "Quit iiiiit!!" Alex shouted again.

"Oh I think I found the quit it button!" He teased, lightly stroking and taunting Alex's member over to get the same protesting reaction.

Looking back to the clock, The Guy grabbed up Alex's princely part once more and began coating it with a fresh round of massage oil.

"Nhhhh~~" Alex groaned feeling it, his head shaking as he growled and grunted with renewed energy and deepness in his voice. "Ffffckk noooo! Nooo!! I'm nottt I'm nottt getting hard for you againnnn!!!"

And right on cue, her nails came wiggling down once more starting at his palms, faking out but grazing his skin more closely this time. First right at the hands then down his wrists and inner elbow. Despite his impressive display of flexing muscles and screaming snarls, she melted his defenses like butter.

"MFFHHHH! eEEHHH! Stopiitttt!! Those fffuckinngg nailllsss!! I hate thatt that's the worsttttt!!!" She cooed and clicked her tongue moving down to wriggle endlessly over his underarms, delighting at how he pulled so uselessly in the bonds. Down below, The Guy smiled knowingly as he felt that prince part inflating in his palm. Coating it with oil, he began at the base this time, gently squeezing and making Alex percolate with a big wanting giggly moan.

"Oooh I thought you weren't gonna get hard, tough guy~" She grinned and pinched at his armpits. "Uh oh!" Her fingers trailed lightly around, seeking out the hot spots to hotwire him further along with her toying words. "Ooh no! What happened? What happened huhhh?"

"Nnnnmhhhghh you can't make me hhaaarrrdddd you can't do this to mee! Staaapppittt stooopitttt!!" He arched, trying to growl at them but only ended up releasing a big squeaking whine as his princely rod betrayed his will and grew quickly in The Guy's hands, her nails and coos and being over him making it impossible to resist the edging.

"oooh yeah. Mmhmm. Nope, not at alllll ~ nope nope nope!" She taunted as The Guy slowly started working the ring of pressure up and down to edge Alex further and take advantage of the hotwiring. Her nails skittered down, thumb and index finger making the tiny pinches at his upper ribs. "Coochie coooo tough guy~"

Her taunts only frustrated flustered and infuriated Alex further. His head bounced in her lap, his midsection trying to twist away from The Guy's slick grip. "GHaAA! Damnn youuuu!! Noooo nooo stoppp thoseeeee damn naillssss getttt offa MAEHEE!" Giggles mixed into his desperate gasping moans as she lightly did the pinching motions all over his upper chest and collar and biceps, seeking out the squeaky spots and lingering there to make him go wild.

"Aww did you get hard? Did youuu?" She teased and taunted, her lips pursing and making kissy faces as he frantically angrily rolled his head around in her lap. He blushed furiously at how her red nails elicited so many ticklish reactions now, freely making him giggle and laugh out as she rubbed her thumbs down his shaking sides. Her lean only further ruined his resistances, her curves right over his pinkened body as The Guy merrily worked away stroking up the underside of his prince part's tip to milk out maximum arousal.

"Ghhhh justttt mmmhhh fffuckk shitttt damn helll!!! pleeeaseee make me cum make me cum!!" He begged out, fully admitting to what their treatments did to him.

The pair tsked and admonished, snicker at his request.

"I thought you knew the drill, Alex. I thought you were a tough guy, Alex. What's going on here, did you lie to me, Alex?" His husky tease voice with that bite of authority made Alex increasingly flustered frustrated, his body wriggling in reaction to this verbal discipline as K chimed in with the twinkly feminine taunts.

"Aww such a naughty boy. All oiled up and nowhere to go and pinkened and wanting and oooh so demanding!" She grinned and smiled at Alex while giving a slight nod to the Guy who released once more. "So so naughty tsk tsk tsk. No wonder he's not letting you cum~"

"nnnnhhhhnuahgttyyy I'm not naughttyyyyy unnnhhh I'm a goood boooyyyyyyy plehehesaee please make me cum!! unnnghhh I asked niiiiceellyyyyyy ghhhaaaunnHHH!" Alex carried on, now unable to resist gyrating and bucking gently, wantingly as he was totally overcome once more with neediness. Pleading and begging as he started to tumble down the edge again with moans and whimpers rising unnmmhHHH ooh oohhhhh ohhhh!! unnhg okkayy nnnhhh!!"

As The Guy scampered off to check the progress in the mysterious side room again, K once again traced his body with her nails as he writhed on the mat, held down and made to feel his body tingle off the tickly taunted bullied edge. Her eyes locked with his, blushing a bit herself as she took in his desperately wanting expressions.

"Mhmmm mhmmmm ~ I don't know I don't see a good boy just a naughty wanty mess. I thinkkkkkkkk more attention is needed after all…..you still can form words, cutie"

The clock ticked down to 18:13.

As he heard the mirror door opening Alex bargained. "Ummhh jeeeperwooggleeee ooosthiunnuuu!! mmmmaaamolgersss! Seeee those aren't words! I'm nnnmmh plenttyyy teaseeddd you can make me cum honestttttt ghhhaaaa okmhhyghhh I'm mmmmmhh you gottaaaa let me gogoohoooo I unngghghghghhh!!!"

The Guy flashed his fingers indicating eight tanks, his mouth agape in smiling satisfaction. K nodded enthusiastically and stretched out her arms, flexing her fingers and wiggling freely. The Guy started oiling up once more as they waited for him to finish whimpering down the edge and regain enough strength to drain it right back out again.

Alex growled as he tried to refuse the next round of teases, shaking his head furiously while begging at the same time. "Nnnhhh nnnnnmmmhhh!! GRRR! Pleehehasee don't leave me offf againnnn unnhhghhhh I'll never get hard for you againnn!! You get notthing goood day sir ... andand ma'am!" Unshaken, the nails began wriggling over his pinkened tummy and the flexing slippery skilled hands returned to his deflating penis, patiently waiting for the rebound and crumbling of his resistance. "No tiickles please not the nailssssss not the wiggles I can't take aaaaaatttttttt! the anticipashhhhhhiioooonn!"

"Ohhhh sweetheart how about we just leave you edged and go back to that cute tummy hmmmm?" she offered wriggling her nails. That motion, the threat and her words and nearness alone crumbled his defiance once again. Alex screamed out at her words, knowing he was about to be edged off as my tummy bounced wildly.

"Didn't you hear? He's not getting hard for us again." The Guy chuckled, his hands rolling Alex's repeatedly teased prince back and forth, idly playing with it until the inevitable reaction happened again.

"Oh yeah that's right. No hardness sweetheart? Not at alllll?" She leaned over his face her words trilling softly as she began skittering her nails casually over his belly and poking earnestly into his twitchy navel. And as she chased his laughing reactions in the bellybutton, her other hand wriggled through the air up to his ear and began taunting right beside it, letting him feel the breeze and hear the occasional click and tap of her nails hitting one another. So overwhelming were her tickles that his own hands began mimicking her motions, wiggling in the air.

He was screaming giggles, furiously bouncing, and rock hard in The Guy's hands within moments. He stroked a finger across Alex's foreskin, teasing that hyper sensitive circle which would chance a climax in a lesser skilled hand but instead kept their captive right at the very tip of the edge, indeed unable to form words as he yelped and mewled and squeaked for the heavens. K was keen to tickle mercilessly at this point, digging into his underarms and skittering up his ribs and grasping his belly to catch every increasingly silent giggle.

9:09, the clock ticked closer to the end. "We're all full up. It's all cake from here forward" The Guy skipped out from the back room, dramatically twirling and darting down to watch Alex's prince part quiver and tremble, his belly rapidly rising and falling and flexing and releasing.

"Aww poooor babeh~" K murmured, flexing her fingers and tracing his eyebrows to get tiny squeaks going. Though deep into the fuzzies, they worked in tandem with their cooing taunts and knowing touches to kickstart Alex back into an energetic fight. The Guy grasped his royal jewels slowly, his other hand's index finger ever so gently wiggling under the deathspot under the tip to wake Alex's rod up.

Alex dreamily shook his head like a kid being woken up too early. "Nnghhh!! nooo moreee neverrrr nottt nothingggg! hate youuu!!"

They chuckled. "Hims soo sassy. Hims don't wanna get hard for us again. But hims gonna." The Guy's tone cut through Alex's haze and raised his fury once more. K was right there to take advantage.

She moved so she could put her lips right to his ear, moving his hair aside and ruffling it playfully. "Unnnh. Nice soft touches. Nice gentle tiiiiickles right on your rod. Mmhmm. You want it. You know you want it. You love this. Yes you do. Yesss you do." Her nails began wriggling warming up once more across his chest. Alex shook his head rapidly, his body quivered as he summoned all he could to fight them off. He already lose summarily but wanted to at least deny their victory lap.

And yet once again, he was sold out. Alex's prince part responded to her whispers and sensual little moaning sounds. "Mmmh. So nice and tickly huh? Tickatickatickatickatickatickaticka" she started repeating as her nails grazed over his belly with the occasional fakeouts. "Tickatickatickatickatickaticka cooochiecooochiecoochiecoochiecooochiecoooochie" And that was it, his prince part was hotwired into hardness again, swelling up with The Guy following all along the way teasing that hot spot under the tip and tracing the base before seizing it with a squeeze to make Alex howl out a massive moan.

"Not such a tough guy now, are ya"

Alex rolled over, he was able to roll over. His body was a field of pink and strain. Through it all, his princely part still tingled and gently throbbed wantingly. He could feel the sparkle of her lips on his cheek. She had been planting a kiss right before things went dark. The clock on the wall was at 00:00. The light of day through the back door's entrance was long gone.

Oh hey. I'm back. What the everloving fuck was that? Alex sighed and looked around. He wanted to run out, leave and never come back. But also... the sensation was ricocheting over his body. They left him in a wanting state, one that he couldn't shake or deny. His hands drifted over the spots which tingled wildly. Recollection flashed in his eyes and his prince part started reacting. I can take care of this. It's bad but I have to. I need it.

Alex's hands drifted down and grasped his royal part, releasing a whimper as he finally had some relief. Nothing but pleasure, and soon nothing but release. At least, until Alex shrieked out in a scream, feeling his arms snatched away from his body. The clock clicked and buzzed as the numbers rolled wildly and reset back to an hour.

A prerecorded message from a familiar voice spoke. "Welcome to the after hours Selection tough guy. You were ever so eager to agree to this~"

He struggled madly in the loose bonds trying to get at his wanting royal part again, but was held back and made to tingle on the edge once more. "Fuuuuckkk!! Not agaiiiinn!! Let me let meeeee gooo!"

The machinery beeped and released his wrists. "Go on. Be naughty. You know you wanna." Alex furiously reached down and shamelessly touched himself before the machine beeped and snatched him again. And with a hum, feathered rollers began descending from the ceiling to start trailing his body with tickly teasy touches~

Alex glanced to the side as he whimpered out. 58:49.

[eisforeidolon]

So generally my transcribing the panels is a combination of video availability + my free time and mood + specific Q&As that I personally find particularly funny/new/interesting or likely to cause wank.

If there's any questions anybody specifically wants from SF this past weekend, I'll do them. On my own initiative, however, the only other question I considered doing was the one from the main panel which hellers seem to be translating into fantasies about cockless and how Jensen is totally ready to make out with Misha in a revival to make D/C canon.

Except the question was one of those very blatant "compliment each other now!" ones. They're kinda transparent and awkward even with J2, because they're professionals performing on stage, part of which is selling the whole 'one big happy family' thing fans want to believe of the cast. So when you ask them to compliment each other ... *gasp* ... they compliment each other! Even if they are besties, the sincerity there is automatically less believable given the nature of the ask. It can be salvaged if the answers seem personal and genuine, but then we have their answers here:

As to a professional compliment? Misha just repeated generic heller/stan chatter about Jensen totes being an A lister some day - when J2 have both talked about not even wanting that level of fame and knowing that kind of prominence is as much dumb luck as talent. He then implied he was giving insider information by repeating what we've heard about the positive atmosphere on set for the billionth time, except attributing it to Jensen without mentioning Jared (when everyone but crazy stans credits both of them for it). As for the personal compliment? Nothing but a sleezy joke about Jensen's supposed proficiency at hot oil massages.

In terms of the professional, Jensen starts off by basically repeating the general shit he always says about reciprocity and spontaneity being needed to really make a scene work beyond what's written on the page with another actor, just rephrasing it to include Misha. Hellers are crowing about him saying "the reason the story of Dean and Cass skewed to where it was" was from them having that kind of on set rapport. Which, as per usual? You'd only think that meant he was talking about D/C as a romance if you've rotted your brain away with bad meta to the point of believing "where [the story] was" was somewhere dictated by colors/ bacon/ pastry/ plaid/ whateverthefuck rather than what actually happened between the characters on screen. You know, where Cass was repeatedly stated to be and framed as an ally/ brother/ family/ friend when he hadn't fucked off somewhere being irrelevant to the brothers' story. Jensen then compliments Misha's performance in "the scene where he tells Dean goodbye" again. I do totally have to agree it was "an unbelievable performance" ... but not in the way he keeps trying to sell. Which if he's not doing that to try to avoid being called a homophobe again? Just increasingly makes me question that he knows what good acting looks like from the outside. (I do think it's interesting he describes his internal monologue as "don't ruin this for him" rather than something about actively participating to try and make the scene actually work for the characters and the story given how his answer started.) As for the personal compliment? After joking that personally Misha disgusts him, he talks about Misha having all kinds of weird outdoorsy/crafty hobbies with his kids, then makes the comment about Misha being one of the few people he'd call with a problem. My first uncharitable thought is, yeah, sure, in those cases where he caused the problem. But realistically, I've always been baffled how Jensen and Jared can possibly be friends with Misha and assumed he must have some kind of redeeming in-person positive attributes that outweigh ... basically his entire public persona. So again, they're friends who worked together on and off for a lot of years. Not even a hint of some super special exclusive BFF/true lurve relationship IRL, no non-hallucinated implications of D/C. In short, no new news.

Since hellers aren't misrepresenting specific words so much as ~*interpreting*~ and exaggerating significance, it's really not worth it to me to have to repeat listen to this blather as many times as a transcript takes without further incentive.