#and the family history and having no interest in the present and the people you're actually fairly closely related to

[greenerteacups]

I think "the problem of house elves" is really interesting in that it reveals an issue with what I suppose can be broadly categorised as "urban fantasy"?, that is to say fantasy in a modern real world setting, which nonetheless uses magical creature lore. Inevitably, as an author, you're going to purposely or inadvertently draw parallels to real world "stuff" that's ladened with baggage... and it can be really hard to make it work because readers will be raring to pick apart these kinds of analogies.

House elves are a great example of this, in that, there really are creatures called house elves (or brownies) in English folklore and they really do, in the stories, seem to enjoy doing housework and chores in exchange for things like food and shelter (and shouldn't be given clothes or they'll never come back).

However, by initially drawing a parallel to slavery with House Elf labour (a real-world very dark baggage laden issue) and then not having the time to really delve into the history and complexity of her wizard / house elf relations you end up with the narrative seeming a bit confused as to how we should feel about people having house elves as servants / slaves. On one hand, we only see "bad" families having elves, on the other, we're told Molly Weasley would like one, then we're shown that Hogwarts uses them and that they, mostly, want to work for wizards without pay or holiday. People that grew up in the wizarding world seem to view Hermione's concerns with the kind of bemusement I encountered as a vegetarian kid explaining why I didn't want to eat animals to most of the people around me. This says a lot about the way House Elves are viewed there.

House elves are not viewed as being akin to human and therefore do not fit neatly into human parallels. Dobby is presented as an anomaly because, unlike most houseelves, he does not dream of labour and being bound to a particular wizarding family. I think JKR tries to represent this through Hermione's ineffective activism, but it's clumsily done because Dobby's our first and most poignant introduction to House elves and he was being seriously abused without any protections in place. There's also the Black family situation which.... yeah.

I think a couple of paragraphs of explanation from, maybe, Dumbledore outlining, perhaps, the symbiotic magical relationship of wizards and elves, and how the Malfoys / Blacks were somehow unusual in their cruelty and disrespect to this relationship, would've done a lot to smooth at least some of this over.

The issue, I think the books very quietly imply, is actually more aligned, although not perfectly of course, in a real world sense, with animal abuse / humane treatment of animals than with human slavery, as house elves ( as folkloric creatures) crucially do want to do house work in their nature and their treatment by wizards is therefore what needs to be monitored through the introduction of protections (older Hermione will surely be championing these kinds of reforms). Not perfect of course as House Elves are sentient, talking creatures... but they're also not human beings and it does make some kind of sense that they wouldn't have the same values... it's just, slavery being OK sometimes, is really not the sort of message you want to imply through an inadvertent and imprecise parallel.

Just chiming into the house elf convo as I find this issue in fantasy writing endlessly fascinating and as an aspiring fantasy writer myself, quite frightening!

This is so well-put, I almost can't bring myself to add anything to it — really excellent and considered treatment of the ways that the elf relationship was probably intended to read differently than it did in the text. More attention to the elf/brownie legend would have gone a long way for me in fixing my unhappiness with S.P.E.W., because it would have given a canonical basis for thinking Hermione's actually just wrong about this relationship, and that she's somehow missing an important historical context. That's a great point.

Staging elves as an intermediary between humans and animals whose treatment mirrors animal rights conversations is a really smart way of talking about it, too, as it captures the moral dimension of Hermione's quest without making everyone else look abjectly terrible for not supporting it. Staging her as, say, the PETA of the Wizarding World, where everyone thinks she's campaigning to Give Copyright to Monkeys, etc., makes Ron especially seem much more reasonable. I'm going to think about your interpretation a lot in how I write house-elves in the future.

[notasapleasure]

why are the family members who pay for genealogists and spend all their time looking into the family tree the ones who utterly resent their living relatives and don't want to have to play nicely with any of them lmao

[edenesth]

The Way to His Heart [1]

Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader

AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 3k

Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.

Teaser | Fic Masterlist | Part 2

Park Seonghwa.

As pretty as it may sound, that name was known across the nation as the intimidating military general trusted by His Majesty, the King, to lead the royal army.

For those who have not had the privilege of encountering him in person, the assumption might be of a rugged and perhaps middle-aged individual, given his extensive experience on the battlefield and high military rank. And those who have met him will know that his beauty was just as deadly.

But there's more to it – his renown extends beyond the confines of martial prowess. The general has garnered a reputation for scaring away all potential marriage candidates. His cold nature isn't limited to the battlefield; it extends to his personal life, affecting even the people closest to him.

In essence, Seonghwa was not a figure most people would look forward to meeting at all. If anything, most tended to avoid him like the plague. His name alone was enough to instil terror, be it in enemies, common folk, or even nobles.

But he was more than fine with it.

The general took pleasure in the fear that gripped anyone crossing his path. He had no interest in being loved or admired. The bloodshed inherent in his job brought him ample satisfaction, and the accompanying title and wealth were merely added perks.

One thing that irked him more than anything else was the King's relentless insistence that he should marry.

You see, he lacked the capacity for love, having grown up devoid of any such affection. All he cared for was his own survival. He understood, more than anyone, that trust was a rare commodity on this earth. Those close to him always harboured their own motives. The concept of genuine love or care was as good as non-existent in his dictionary.

His parents, if they could even be called that, abandoned him by a dumpster outside an orphanage. Born prematurely and deemed likely to die soon, they left him for dead. However, his determination to survive surpassed all expectations. He fought through the years and emerged as the person he is today.

Seonghwa's entire childhood was marked by brawls fighting for survival and to earn a living. But then fate took a turn when a perceptive military soldier scouted him, recognising the untapped potential within.

Rising from the bottom, his borderline cold-blooded character propelled him swiftly up the ranks, achieving remarkable progress within just a couple of years. His notoriety soon echoed in the ears of the King, and almost in the blink of an eye, he ascended to become one of the youngest generals in history.

And that was how he learned, through the hard way, that one would have to be useful in order to be valued. He has seen enough to understand it was a dog-eat-dog world.

The King favoured him solely for his skills, his servants stuck around for the generous pay, and every potential spouse presented to him was merely interested in his wealth or title.

This time would be no different.

"Seonghwa-yah, you're not young anymore, my boy. It's time for you to get married and have a few kids. Otherwise, who would succeed you? It would be such a shame for your bloodline to die with you." His Majesty said, a concerned frown creasing his wrinkled forehead.

The general lowered his head to conceal the smirk on his face. See? That's exactly what he meant. One would be foolish to believe that the King genuinely wanted the best for him; all the old man cared about was ensuring the continuation of his legacy.

Before Seonghwa could present another argument, as he always did, the King raised a hand to halt him, "That's enough; you have rejected all my previous proposed matches and deliberately scared off some of your betrothed as well. I may have been too lenient with you. This time, you will get married, and that's final."

He gripped the hilt of his sword in frustration, "But, your Majesty—"

The King shook his head, "Seonghwa, you will be stripped of your title if you do not cooperate."

That was enough to silence him.

He had worked tirelessly to reach his current position; it would be stupid to jeopardise it all over a refusal to marry. The whole idea seemed utterly outrageous; the old man must be senile to be threatening him over something so trivial.

But what choice did he have?

None.

"Fine, as you wish." The general sighed.

His Majesty's demeanour swiftly changed, breaking into laughter and applause, "Oh, that's wonderful! We already have a perfect candidate for you anyway. The Minister of Military Affairs has offered his eldest daughter's hand. I'm sure she would make a lovely wife for you."

"Has he now? How thoughtful of him."

Seonghwa wasn't stupid; he recognised that the minister harboured resentment regarding his recent ascent in the ranks. The old fool was undoubtedly anxious about preserving his own position and was actively exploring ways to subdue the younger man's progress, going to great lengths just to keep the general from outranking him.

As the assembly with the King concluded that day, Minister Jang was quick to intercept Seonghwa before he could exit the palace, "General Park, I eagerly anticipate our forthcoming union. I assure you, my eldest is a gem; you'll come to adore her." The elder man remarked smugly.

"Oh, I'm sure I will." He sneered, shrugging off the minister's hand before storming off.

Arriving at his estate, a servant approached the general with a tray of tea, "Welcome home, master," Having suppressed his anger for too long, he couldn't hold back any longer. He smacked the tray out of the poor woman's hands, growling, "Get out of my goddamned sight this instant." She bowed repeatedly, apologising profusely as she picked up the tray and the broken cup before scurrying away.

He slammed the door to his study open, nearly scaring the living daylights out of his only trusted aide, Jongho, "S-sir, is everything alright?" The assistant asked tentatively.

Seonghwa grumbled as he kicked his desk aside to sit in his chair, "The King demanded that I get married and even threatened to strip me of my title if I refused. I need you to dig up some information on Minister Jang's family; that man is up to something."

Jongho bowed once and rushed off to do as he was told, "Will do, sir."

Glaring at his desk, he clenched his fists at the thought of his future wife. Considering her hateful father, she likely resembled him. After all, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He was more than ready to face the likes of her, having successfully scared off a few spoiled brats before.

More unbearable to him than the King's incessant pressure for him to marry was the presence of irritating little pests, manifested in the form of noblewomen from wealthy families—the entitled sort who believed they were superior to everyone else.

All the encounters he had experienced so far were with that particular breed. If given the chance, he would gladly eradicate every single one of those seemingly useless, good-for-nothing individuals. Without a doubt, his wife-to-be would be another one of those insufferable girls.

Be prepared, wife. Life is about to become quite exhilarating for you.

"Gather around, kids. I have news!" Your father announced as he entered the family estate, cheerfully wrapping his arm around his second wife, your stepmother.

"What's going on, father?" Jinah asked, eagerly joining her two sisters, Jinhee and Jinjoo.

The man let out a tired sigh when he realised you were nowhere in sight, "Where is she?"

Jinhee scoffed, "You mean unnie? In her cage, of course. This is a family meeting; why would we need her around?"

The minister directed a nearby servant, "Fetch her to the main hall; I have an announcement to make." The three sisters and their mother exchanged intrigued glances, wondering what this unexpected proclamation could entail.

Staring numbly out of your tiny room window, you ponder the meaning of life. What was the point of being born if every member of your own family shunned you? To be fair, only your father is family; your stepmother and stepsisters are mere outsiders. Yet, even he hasn't bothered to treat you as such.

Your mother might have been the sole person to ever love you, but you couldn't possibly be sure. Unfortunately, she hadn't been alive long enough for you to remember much about her.

Could she have had any love for you, even when she herself lacked affection from her own husband?

That, you'll never know the answer to.

You've heard that your father had no choice but to marry your mother for political reasons and that your stepmother had been his mistress at the time. When your mother finally fell sick and died, he seized the opportunity to marry the harlot and take in all three of her bastard daughters.

Life has been nothing but hell ever since.

No one has treated you like a lady from a noble house; not even the servants were allowed to do so.

All you could remember was pain.

Endless pain all throughout your childhood.

In fact, the pain still persisted until this day, you felt it acutely in the numerous spots on your body, each a testament to the beatings you endured regularly as punishment. And those punishments were often for things you didn't do—blatant lies told by your stepsisters that your father used as an excuse to unleash his wrath.

Excluded from all family activities, even meals, you survived on leftovers and were confined to your quarters with nothing to occupy your time. It felt as if you were treated worse than the estate's servants, receiving only enough sustenance to keep you alive. You were more like a punching bag, there solely for their tormenting pleasure.

No one would acknowledge you in this household. You were as good as dead until one of your family members wished to have some fun, your misery providing the best entertainment.

So, imagine your surprise when you were summoned to the main hall for an announcement. Why does your presence suddenly matter? The curiosity gnaws at you as you reluctantly make your way to the gathering, wondering what twist of fate awaits you this time.

Cowering shamefully, you faced the evident disgust in your stepmother's and stepsisters' eyes as they took in your shabby appearance.

You struggled to figure out where to sit.

Approaching the only available seat next to the youngest, Jinjoo, you trudged over timidly, only for her to intentionally spill her cup of tea on the chair, "Oops! My bad, unnie. I guess you'll have no choice but to stand." You wished the ground would swallow you as everyone around snickered into their fists.

You looked over to your father, hoping he might stand up for you, only for your heart to sink in disappointment as usual when he averted his gaze with a clear of his throat, "Alright, now that you're all here, I have news to share." He announced, leaving you standing awkwardly in the corner, unnoticed and unwanted.

"Something interesting happened at the assembly with His Majesty this morning," Your father announced, capturing everyone's attention. All eyes were on him, eagerly awaiting the big revelation of this announcement, "The King has pressured General Park to marry once again, and this time, he was serious."

You noticed the expressions of your stepsisters turning fearful at the mere mention of the famous general.

"I figured it would be good to establish a connection with the general, considering his powerful standing in the military. So, I offered my daughter's hand to him in marriage."

Your stepsisters all gasped simultaneously.

"Father! How could you do such a thing to us?! Haven't you heard? That general is a monster! He scared off all of his previous fiancées. Do you have any clue how he'll treat us?" Jinah screeched tearfully.

But her mother calmed her with a sly smile, "Oh, you silly girls, why did you think your elder sister is here for?"

Oh.

Remaining rooted to the spot, you took in the shocking news. Your supposed family cheered at the announcement, their excitement palpable.

"Oh, unnie! You're finally making yourself useful for once!" Jinhee laughed, and your father nodded, a smirk playing on his lips, "That's right, my dear. You've always struggled to find a purpose in life, haven't you? Perhaps you'll grow to love your new life with General Park. I'm sure he'll take good care of you."

Everything turned into a blur as they celebrated what felt like your demise. Dismissed to your quarters, you retreated, letting the weight of the information sink in.

You had heard of General Park; how could you not? He was only the most feared person in the entire country.

Perhaps, in a twisted way, that could be a good thing. If he were to end your miserable life once and for all, it might be a mercy for you too.

After all, you had had enough of this life.

On the day you were set to marry Park Seonghwa, you were puzzled to find a group of servants sent to your quarters, armed with some of the finest clothes you'd ever seen, "What is this?" You questioned, eyeing the luxurious garments with scepticism.

The head of the maids sighed, "Young miss, you are marrying as the eldest daughter of Minister Jang. Surely, you have to at least look the part, yes?"

Oh.

That made sense.

Of course, it was all to make your father look good. Who would care about you?

Resigned, you sat like a doll as they worked on enhancing your appearance, transforming you into a vision of refinement. You observed their extra effort to conceal the remnants of bruises and scars from years of torture.

"All done." The head maid declared as they turned you around to face the mirror. As your eyes met your reflection, you failed to recognise the person staring back at you. You hadn't known you were capable of looking... what do they call it? Beautiful?

But this was only temporary.

You couldn't possibly fool the general forever with makeup. Sooner or later, he would see just how ugly and broken you were underneath all these artificial lies. And he, too, will be just as disgusted as everyone else. When that happens, you are mentally prepared for all the possible outcomes.

How much worse could it get?

After all, you had already endured a lifetime of hell. Surely, the torment couldn't be as severe as what you had experienced all these years... right?

One of the elderly servants, always watching you from a distance with pity in her eyes, approached you as the others dispersed. Her frail but warm hand landed on your shoulder as you met her gaze through the mirror.

With a kind smile, she nodded encouragingly, "I hope you find happiness out there, young miss." You didn't know why your eyes grew wet at those words as you watched her leave with the rest. The unexpected warmth in her gesture lingered, and for a moment, a spark of hope ignited within you.

Happiness?

You weren't sure you even knew what that word meant, but perhaps you'll learn the meaning of it outside of these walls. These walls that felt so much like prison all these years, it's almost funny how it was supposed to be your home.

Truthfully, you didn't think you'd ever live to see the day you would be allowed to leave this wretched place. Caged in here all your life, does anyone even know of your existence?

Perhaps not.

Well, now they might.

Heading to the entrance of the Jang estate, you carried little belongings, close to none.

Your family stood around, excited to see you off. The devious smirks on your stepsisters' faces faltered slightly at your transformed appearance before they scoffed, "Who would've thought? Guess you could actually fool someone looking like that. Just wait till he realises how useless you actually are." Jinhee sneered.

But Jinjoo snickered, "Oh, I'm sure she'll be useful in certain ways."

Jinah burst into laughter at the implication, "Oh yes! Give us plenty of nieces and nephews to play with, yeah?"

Your face burned with humiliation as they made fun of you, as they always did, "That is if she's strong enough to survive him in the first place." Your stepmother muttered, chuckling slyly.

Your father took a step toward you, "There's no time to waste; now get going. Don't you dare make me look bad."

You bowed before turning to leave, but a surge of courage prompted you to look back at your father one last time, croaking, "Father... have you truly never cared for me at all? For my happiness?"

He clenched his jaw, his response cutting, "Don't make me laugh; you and that mother of yours have only ever been a pain to me."

That hurt.

Why did it hurt?

It wasn't news to you. But still, it hurt.

"You want happiness? Find it with him then."

« Preview of Part 2 »

The night before the wedding, Seonghwa lifted his gaze from his scrolls to find his aide arriving slightly out of breath, "Have you found anything, Jongho?"

The assistant nodded after bowing, "Not much on the rest of the family; everything about them is just as known by the public. However, I did uncover more information about the eldest daughter, your bride."

The general straightened in his seat, "What about her?"

With a frown, Jongho continued, "It seems not much is known about her, despite being the eldest. She's the only daughter of Minister Jang's first wife, and no one has seen her set foot out of the estate since her mother's passing. Most sources claim her to be a mystery."

Seonghwa smirked, leaning back in his chair, "She must be quite precious for her father to keep her hidden all these years. Oh, I'll treat her well, all right. Get the head maid to prepare her quarters."

Jongho nodded curtly, feeling a chill run down his spine as he witnessed the sarcastic grin on his master's face.

"Only the best for future Lady Park."

I just want to emphasise that this is NOT a sequel/prequel or extension to Seonghwa's part from my 'Crazy Form' Comeback Special Series. This is a completely different story taking place in an entirely different universe.

Also, while this may be in the Joseon era, I do apologise if some of the details may not be historically accurate. After all, this is only a work of fiction, so please enjoy!

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts, feedback or reviews! I love hearing all about it! <3

Tag list: @aurasblue @marievllr-abg @itsvxlentine @minghaoslatina @huachengsbestie01 @evidive @weedforthoughtz @ssrnghwa @yunnieo @sunnyhokyu @lynnsqueendom @frobin4ever @chwesuh-imnida @thunderous-wolf @itstheghostofmypast @professormingisglasses @deltamoon666 @avantalem @famishalll @yungilia @soobiverse @joongified

All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

[justivik]

yandere! loser headcanons.

english isn't my first language.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser who is part of the photography club while you are part of a school sports club. He met you when his group went to the gym for a photo shoot of all the clubs.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser who thought you were gorgeous and got nervous when he had to sit next to you, while you held your sports ball and he nervously held his camera.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser that after your first meeting he couldn't stop thinking about you and started looking for you all over campus almost every break. He would see you playing with your classmates or talking to your friends and gosh... your smile is beautiful!

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser who started to have you as his muse in every photo shoot he did. His little crush on you turned into an intense obsession, he had to know more about you!

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser that recapitulated all the data he had about you, such as full name, social circle, family, address and house number or even collected the garbage you threw away to keep it in his special folder for you.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser he thought about approaching you but he didn't know how to hold a conversation, he barely had any friends at school and you were the team captain along with you being popular. He doesn't stand a chance with you!

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser that one day during the break between classes he was doing his history work until your presence invades his tranquility, your voice dominates his ears and your eyes manipulate his heart. You approached him to chat while waiting for your friends, you showed interest in his work and he was mesmerized.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser where after that conversation he started acting like a real creep

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser started following you everywhere, trying to have a conversation with you even when you were with someone else. You thought maybe he wanted to be your friend and you let him continue with these attitudes until the actions went from distance to physical contact.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser who held your hand, was jealous when you spent more time with other people, hugged you without asking and take pictures of you without you noticing. You were patient with him even when everyone told you to report him to the principal.

He's not a weird kid! Maybe his display of affection is like this!

He literally has a folder with 450 pictures of you.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser start to be more and more present in your personal life. You find him in your favorite coffee shop, in the park where you always go to relax or even in the supermarket.

“Y/N! Nice to see you here. I didn't know you were coming here too.”

“don't you live about 40 minutes away from my house and this supermarket?”

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser keeps watching you in your training sessions to the point that your coach has had to take him out because he was distracting your team with the sound of his camera.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser he's a good manipulator and blackmailer, he knows you feel bad about being rude to others or even excluding someone. you're so sweet! even he gets jealous when you are nice to someone else.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser He behaves desperately and may even have a panic attack when you are not by his side.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser that you have become so accustomed to his presence that you start calling him ''best friend'' (he thinks). You've let him into your room because your mother forced you to after he came to your house by surprise and introduced himself as ''a good friend coming over to make the history homework''.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser when you go to the bathroom, he steals some clothes and objects from your room to have it on his ''shrine''.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser has severe anger problems.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser always spamming you with messages, sending you audios and pictures of what he's doing.

๋࣭ ⭑ yandere! loser acts like a lost puppy by your side, following you around. He's pathetic and he knows it.

“I still can't believe how perfect you are!”

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Snake dance for emperors

Emperor Geta/Caracalla x fem!reader

warning : dysfunctional family, tried comfort (as much as this is possible with these two), kissing, use of dagger, smutish, some touching, written before the movie comes out characters may be different at the end

summary : With the Colosseum, other types of entertainment come to the Empire of Rome. Not only acrobats and actors but also animal tamers and especially the agile snake dancer with cobras slithering along her body caught the attention of the two most powerful men in the world. So what happens when you're in a room with poisonous animals, pressure to perform and two emperors?

info : I just love them can't wait to see how they are in the movie. I'm not fully satisfied, it was supposed to be something else (more smut) but now it is what it is I hope you like it anyway:)

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rome, the empire of history past versus present and future. A place of aspiration, arts and philosophers who passed on their knowledge to interested minds.

Violence and entertainment by gladiators in the Coloseum and the home of two young men who could have taken over the world with laurel wreaths on their heads.

The money practically clung to their bodies no matter where they went it was the finest fabrics and colors of dye that surrounded them both, the white face makeup and the dark, mineral-infused coat around their eyes darker protruding, light hair divine as the sun, making the two emperor brothers recognizable everywhere.

With the triumph and amusement in the Colosseum, the rich and influential men also met at parties organized by the elite. Politicians, philosophers, merchants and scalpers as well as military generals could all be found there... but besides the elite there was also the untrhlatung in the form of fire-breathers, exotic animals and songs.

Showmen with magnificent costumes or the snake woman surrounded by flowers while on her light clad body the dark snakes curled along, beautiful but dangerous animals taken from the straw woven baskets on her hand along her arms skillful fingers and soft sounds of her voice with inviting and engaging vibrations of her body.

The small beads and stones on her tiny outfit covered her most necessary parts as the silk clung to her body and the animals moved across it. ,,I wonder what will happen if they all bite her," the elder mumbled to his brother, who shook his head in amusement at the comment, a hum of laughter leaving his lips, and took another sip of wine.

Geta hardly liked the party at first, but the younger knew that it was much more important to be well received not only by the senate but also by the other pillars of the empire.

They might be at the top, but without merchants, influential philosophers or even the slave traders, Rome would lack important things. ,,It would be amusing for a moment...but hardly any different than in the Colosseum," he replied briefly, not giving his advisor a glance but seeing that Caracalla's smile did not fade.

Despite the fact that he was older by a year, he seemed to have little interest in all of this, only the prospect of perhaps a little mischief or amusement had brought him out next to his brother.

So they found themselves sitting here for a few minutes, a little apart from the large tables and round corners in the rooms with the exotic pretty things from displays of dead things and old weapons to her.

A young woman arrived in Rome with one of the many circus wagons that presented themselves in different cities and entertained the people with talent for special normal amusement and no murder and killing.

She had known that the normal shows were as beautiful as they were and she always smiled when children were fascinated watching the animals and she could teach them something, so she knew how serious it was when it came to such parties, ,,The Imperial Brothers, the elite will be there...one mistake and we are next" were the words of her boss who knew that they could use any coins and let her go.

So here she was, dancing around at first, talking about the artifacts, but as soon as the torches announced the night and cast old shadows, she resumed her role as a sanke dancer and took her place.

At first, some stopped to look at her body and clothes until they were fascinated by the snake, paying attention to the connection between her and the animals, sometimes throwing flowers and coins to her for the extra money it was worth to buy new fabric.

Some even talked to her about her interest in the animals, though most of the questions were about ulterior motives for other services she no longer offered, and perhaps she kept the snakes a little too far away from her to keep the men at a distance.

She would only be here for a few more hours until she was picked up, until she saw the gold, until she saw the two wreaths, until she saw the golden hair, until she heard the curtains being drawn and she was alone with the two emperors.

She heard them talking, and in between the full words she saw their gazes, pairs of eyes looking at her as if she were long dead or undressed, or perhaps both. ,,As sorry as I am, my time here is almost at an end my Emperors" she dared to raise her voice interrupting the quiet conversation and words to the animals and relaxed slightly hoping they had drank enough to just leave, she felt her own exhaustion her feet aching from standing so much.

The moon was high in the sky, providing light in the great city alongside the fires of torches and lanterns of oil but her hopes were dashed when she saw the playfully indignant look on Caracalla's face as he tilted his head, ,,But we are still here and not satisfied," he protested, his fingers closing tightly around the goblet in which the wine floated.

Even Geta, who didn't like the party, apparently wanted relief and a reward for having to do this to, only made an almost inviting gesture, ,,I want to see her," he said and she didn't know if he meant her first or her snakes.

Stifling a sigh, she got off her little stage and approached them slowly and carefully. She had always had her snakes under control but now one mistake and they would all hang.

Geta's eyes looked into hers for a moment, not dismissively but rather challengingly, he let his gaze wander over her body for a moment, lingering on her chest, which was recognizable despite the light fabric, before he held out his hand and she offered him a middle part of the snake to stroke.

The three of them knew very well that she could not do anything except follow orders. Geta could take her here and now he could just as well have left her to his brother who could probably still put on an amusing show. But this narrow game between emperors, a powerless victim and deadly nature was much more amusing.

Almost imperceptibly, his lips curled into a smile, ,,Pretty animals, dangerous and deadly like their owner, aren't they brother?" he asked, turning his gaze to Caracalla, who was watching the whole thing with a broad smile, but his fingers were playing with his dagger, the blade moving slowly towards her.

He seemed to be only heartbeats away from carving her skin with the tip, his desire to see the blood as in the arena never seemed satisfied, ,,If the emperors allow it, will you hold her?" she asked quickly when Caracalla could finally cut her and she knelt down in front of the two of them, seeing the brief imperceptible twitching of the fingers that would not only have liked to lie on the snakes, if the knife had gone a little further up her skin, the fabric of her scanty top would have been torn apart.

Fingers that had already caressed his middle, his gasping giggles and the slight moans that came from her dancing movements, the fantasy of the gods and her being.

Sometimes more, sometimes less obvious, but he saw that she saw it. It amused him. Both brothers seemed to be turned on by the power of being able to take whatever they wanted…but they were merciful for the moment.

Before even Geta smiled at the gesture, crediting her for her courage in the face of two men who could mean her end at any time, she gave the first snake to Geta and took his hands in hers, ,,Calmly and slowly it will not bite you as long as you respect its power, my Emperor," she said, feeling his gaze on her as she slid one of the animals onto his arm and he looked at it for a moment.

,,You'll always kneel before us at your next performance," he murmured casually as if it were a thought that had just come to him, kneeling and crawling naked like a whore instead of leaving her the last dignity was the appropriate thing to do in his eyes.

,,And amuse us," Caracalla added and she found the cool point of the dagger sharp under her chin again, the older one forcing her to give him attention like a child who didn't get sweet honey from his mother, disgustingly foolish but dangerous, but Geta made no move to help her. Why, in the end, she was just a dancer, a woman a nobody compared to two emperors.

Slowly guiding the snake that had wrapped itself around her chest onto her hand, she carefully took his free hand in hers, ,,They would smell blood and devotion it would be unwise" she said not warning but rather reminding them that the black cobras were not toys, they were nature, animals that could not and would never be tamed.

The moment like a tension on the battlefield the cobra seemed to wrap itself quickly around Caracalla's neck not tight but the more it tightened despite not being a constrictor it could be dangerous.

The protection of the bond to her only went so far as the snake would obey orders on its own and Caracalla was in danger of becoming another victim. ,,Attention is wrapped around pretty things," she heard Geta say, his own fingers stroking her cheek, leaving her still paused, the cool blade of the dagger still against her neck, the younger emperor moving closer to her.

Once again a difference in power, he could have accepted the death of his brother for her, for her body, for his lust that her lips would probably wrap around his middle.

While it would probably still excite him as his suffocating brother took her cunt, this was just another thought in a moment that had an uncertain end.

Her snake seemingly not bothering him as he caressed her cheek, she smelled the makeup, the wine and the metallic gold and yet she returned the heartfelt kiss as he grabbed her harshly by the neck and pulled her close, she still vaguely heard Caracalla's gasp, which must have reached its amused ecstasy as death robbed her of its air.

She felt the dagger slip only slightly from her neck but that was all she needed to pull away from Geta with a jerk, hearing his annoyed snarl, she let her lips trail over the dagger, seeing the fascination of the two men at what she had done before she put her fingers to the blade.

,,Relax," she murmured before engaging the blond elder in a kiss, hearing the smirk that was stifled, the shake of his head and the laying down of the dagger as the clasp came off his neck after a few moments and she took the cobra back.

The moment between them was the fact of possible death, the lie obviously driven by the challenge, her uncertain determination and the deadly metal.

Taking the snakes back, she felt the burning gaze on her back just as the two emperors seemed to be waiting for a moment, the slight dull closing of the crobe the last bit of composure the two men could muster before they rose from their chairs and she felt their hands on her.

Another night in Rome for the emperors whose night was hardly different from any other, a night she had hoped she would never have to do again....but under the touch of human gods and her fast beating heart, it seemed she would never be able to tame the human snakes and their stifled sounds of pleasure and pain would be heard long into the night through their poison.

She was the first to hear Caracalla's giggle, but when she felt the cool fingers of Getas on her arm, the metal of the rings moving harshly over her skin, he turned her into his arms to engage her in another kiss while his other hand finally came to rest on her breast. He simply tore the fabric off for something else better.

His older brother, however, claimed her other half, his lips, once painted with make-up, had long lost their red and she now felt him press against her, almost obsessively taking her breath before she gasped out, her painful moan drowned in the kiss as Caracallae cut her with the dagger to get the blood.

Caracalla's fangs dug into her skin, his bites hard and sharp as he feasted on every drop of blood, a grotesque contrast to his white make-up. With every thrust, with every lustful sound, with every attempt to resist, Geta seemed to take on her strength, wrapping himself around her, depriving her of all sight, his serpentine body never letting go of her that night. Both had found the perfect prey and would leave nothing of her, for once ensnared, snakes never let go of their prey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[copperbadge]

I guess you probably get asked why you’re converting a lot but I still want to ask,

I dunno, I don't think I really get asked all that much, to be honest. Usually when I do it's like -- I mention I'm converting to a Jewish person and they'll be like "Getting married?" and I'll explain I'm not, which does necessitate an additional explanation.

It's difficult to vocalize, which is interesting because it has really very little to do with faith, and that's usually the most difficult part of discussing any conversion, I think. Often I'll just say, "I heard a call". Which is actually a rather Christian way of putting it, but I think it's probably the easiest way to explain, especially in a heavily Christian culture.

I had...I don't want to call it religious trauma exactly because compared to most people I know who exited Christianity, it wasn't traumatic -- I was just raised in Christianity and had trouble buying the faith in the various ways it was presented to me, and there's a certain type of ardent Christian who comes at you hard if you're in their church asking awkward questions. A few encounters with some egregious megachurches in my youth left a bad taste in my mouth, so in my twenties I really wanted nothing to do with religion and didn't have the time or energy anyway -- I wasn't actively anti-religion, just disinterested.

But in my thirties I had to ask myself, do I wish to be part of a faith community? And once I'd decided that despite being pretty heavily agnostic I did want that in my life, I had to decide what I wanted it to look like. There are churches within many branches of Christianity that are fine, and there are whole branches that are fine too, but I kept tripping over my disinterest in Jesus. I did almost become a Quaker but although I really like a lot of the Friends' attitudes towards social justice and I enjoyed silent Meeting, it eventually didn't feel quite right for me (the Quakers in my life refer to me as "Friend-ly"). I looked into Zen Buddhism but didn't click with it in quite the way I'd hoped.

Judaism didn't feel perfect, but unlike other faiths, after several years of study I have yet to reach a point where it feels "not for me" in the way the others did after a few months; even when I struggle with some aspects, instead of saying "I don't think this is it" I dig deeper, and Judaism is a place where you can just...keep digging. I like the sense of history, I like the idea that you can argue not only with other Jews but with the divine itself and maybe even win; I don't like arguing but I like that the option is there, which it never was in my Christian confirmation classes. I like the way Judaism frames community and family, I like the emphasis on scholarship and exploration. I've had to unlearn a lot of weird Christian and atheist attitudes about the Torah, but that's been educational too. Ancient cultures have always interested me and Judaism is sometimes the practice of actively conversing with ancient history that has been incredibly preserved but not calcified. I like that I can be an agnostic Jew if I so choose, once I finish conversion.

(Sometimes I joke, "Eh, I'm not really a huge fan of pork, either, so it's an excuse not to eat pork chops," but that's a joke for very specific company. I don't keep kosher or plan to, but I like that there is an option to show one's devotion through acts of nourishment, and that food is always such a huge part of Jewish ritual. And I like Jewish food.)

There is something in me that reacts to Jewish storytelling -- the fear and fasting of Esther, discourse on the sacrifice of Isaac, grumpy Rabban Gamliel from the Talmud, even the history of the Piazza Alla Cinque Schole when I stumbled into it in Rome. I didn't care particularly about the story of Moses when I learned it as a child, but I sniffle at the parting of the Red Sea in Prince of Egypt every damn time. Not even because of the miracle! I'm simply moved by the vision of a people going to freedom, scared but going, protecting each other and singing as they go.

Anyway. I'm in a conversation with Judaism that isn't over yet, and either eventually I'll reach a point where it ends, or I'll convert and be in this conversation the rest of my life. Kind of fun not to know yet which it will be.

[historyinclusionist]

History Inclusionist

An "Inclusionist" who believes that identities which are 1) shown to be supported in the community's history 2) are harmless personal identities that don't pose harm to others are valid and should be included in their communities.

Overall:

"History Inclusionism" refers to being inclusive of personal identities based on the identity being:

A self affirmed personal identity (locatable only within a person's interaction with and relations to the world around you)

Historically shown to be included in an identity subculture (Such as in a notable number of personal accounts, poems, zines, books, or other media from a subculture)

Shown to be non harmful to other identities or persons (Such as in more than one professional study)

Examples: - Different studies over human history have concluded that being raised by gay parents doesn't cause inherent harm to children. Therefore, gay relationships are provably shown to be non harmful. They are included here. - Different self-reports, comics, zines, and other writings from the past 60 years mention male lesbians, bi lesbians, and lesbians in relationships with men. Therefore, it is historically shown to be included in lesbian culture, and is included here. - Studies, reports, and other examinations by professionals over the course of human history have come to the conclusion that minors in relationships with adults cannot properly consent and are harmed by those "relationships." Therefore, personal identities that try to justify these "relationships" are not included here.

"Personal Identity"?

"Personal Identity" is a purposefully broad term meant to apply to most self-affirmed forms of identification (plurality status, orientation, gender, etc).

Being a History Inclusionist means that you are in complete support of the following personal identities:

Plurality which does not attribute its origins to trauma

Lesbians who are also male / Gay men who are also female

Lesbians who are also mspec (bi, pan, poly, etc) / Gay men who are also mspec

Transgender / nonbinary people who don't experience dysphoria or only feel euphoria

Nonbinary genders, including xenogenders / nonbinary genders that are "atypical" (based on fictional characters, highly specific, based on animals, etc)

"Atypical" relationship formats such as polyamorous relationships, relationship anarchy, kink-focused relationships, etc (Or generally any other form of relationship between two or more consenting people that would not fall under anything on the list below this)

Gender presentations which conflict with and/or defy the expected norm (Women who use he/him pronouns, men who present feminine, etc)

Being a History Inclusionist means that you absolutely do not tolerate or support the following:

Acting on or encouraging attraction to children as an adult (Ped*philia)

Acting on, encouraging attraction to, or associating positive feelings with the attraction to one's family members (Inc*st)

Acting on or encouraging attraction to, or associating positive feelings with the attraction to animals (Z*ophilia)

TransID/TransX communities, the idea that someone can transition into or identify as an age, disorder, or condition they physically are not or do not have (transrace/diarace/trace, transabled/transdisorder/'transplural'/transautistic, and so on)

Arguing with other members of the LGBT community over who is allowed to use derogatory words (Q-eer, f-ggot, d-ke, and so on)

Tagging: @mogai-sunflowers @neopronouns @radiomogai

If you're interested in reading more about why I consider XYZ a good faith thing and why I don't consider XYZ the same, I made a Carrd! 📖🏳️‍🌈

[drdemonprince]

Your advice to the letter-writer whose friend is a former abuser is interesting to me! I largely agree with the specifics, but I'd have added advice to be careful with how the former abuser treats the letter-writer. I might also advise them to be careful whenever the former abuser describes conflicts, as they might be likelier than average to use a woe-is-me framework. I would recommend caution with anything the abuser suggests they do that might cause them discomfort or humiliation, even if it sounds righteous in theory. I realize this is not very fair of me. The former abuser shouldn't have to live with increased carefulness and suspicion from their friends. Maybe it's not a real friendship if you're always wary about your friend potentially turning on you. But purely pragmatically... a lot of former abusers do abuse again, even if they had changed, sincerely, for a while. And "my friend who knows my history and stands with me, even losing some other friends in the process" is a prime target for Abuse II: Abuse Comes Back But In A New Enlightened Way. Deciding to have solidarity with a former abuser is a very moral thing to do, but it's also a trait some abusers are great at warping for their own benefit. Again, I know I'm being unfair, but I keep seeing this happen. Sometimes the friend gets sucked into a narrative where they eventually blame the former victim and become increasingly protective. Other time they say very clear-eyed things but ultimately still end up physically or sexually or emotionally mistreated.

I guess my question is, you say you believe the abuser fundamentally changed, so what does that look like to you? Are you able to fully relax around people who've abused in the past? Abuse is the result of circumstances, but it's also a sort of skill; how do you trust people to never use that skill again?

Great things to be aware of, honestly, thanks anon for the nuanced and careful view.

I like your framing of abuse as a skillset rather than a type of person -- and it's a skill that a whole variety of people wield, including sometimes those who are identified by most not as abusers, but as crusaders for justice or even supposedly for victims' rights. Having been abused and having also learned to be a canny social manipulator, I do see abuse as a skill that gets taught in dysfunctional groups and family systems, and which we can all potentially fall back on when we're backed into a corner.

Knowing how to recognize the skills of abuse being utilized (and maybe even more importantly, how you feel when a person leverages certain tactics against you) is really important for self-preservation in general. Being friends with someone who has a known abuse history that they are explicit & contrite about, in some ways, puts you in a safer position than if you were interceding with a more covert abuser who uses such tactics under a banner of benevolence. But it's also true that many people who come to be known as abusers were initially known as charming, and right thinking, and moral -- and it's very possible for someone who has done abuse to present themselves as such but not mean it. We can't ever really know the full depths of someone else's heart and mind, nor do we have to -- we can look to their actions and the skills they use, particularly when they are frustrated or feeling attacked.

[juanarc-thethird]

If interested please DM him

Nora: How was your Valentine's Day?

Jaune: Um... Normal.

Nora: You didn't ask a girl out?

Jaune: No...

Nora: Why not?

Jaune: Because no one is interested in me?

Nora: What?! How is that possible?!

Jaune: Trust me, it is possible.

Nora: Not on my watch! *Leaves*

Jaune: Hey! Where are you going?! *Sighs* Whatever, it's not my problem.

The next day....

Jaune: *Reading a book*

*Ting!*

Jaune: Huh? *Checks his phone* An unknown message?

*Ting!* *Ting!* *Ting!*

Jaune: More?

*Ting!Ting!Ting!Ting!Ting!Ting!*

Jaune: What the?

*TING!TING!TING!TING!TING!TING!TING!TING!TING!TING!TING!TING!*

Jaune: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!

Momentas later

JNPR's Room

Nora: *Playing games on her phone while lying in bed*

Jaune: *Shows up* *Angry* What did you do?!

Nora: Do what?

Jaune: You know very well what I mean. What did you do?!

Nora: I seriously don't know what you're talking about.

Jaune: I'm talking about this!

Jaune shows his phone, still being bombarded by messages from unknown numbers.

Jaune: Why do I have a bunch of strangers asking me on a date?!

Nora: *Excited* Really?! That means that my post worked!

Jaune: *Confuse* What post?

Nora: This one!

She selects something on her phone and shows it to Jaune.

"Do you want a Man that has abs? Do you want a man that can cook? Do you want a man that is literally the dream house husband?! Well look no further.

Jaune Arc, the only son of the Arc Family.

Let's talk about features: - Power: No - Money: No - A car: No - Great confidence: Nope... but he has a humongous dick that makes up for everything else.

Let me tell you a story. One day I entered the bathroom without checking to see if anyone was there using it. And when I did it, he poked my eye. "With what?" you might ask. I think we both already know answer to that.

You can present him to your parents, to your sibling who never stops bothering you that you are single and alone, to your weird creepy uncles, to your gossiping fat aunts, to your racist grandmother who no one dares to tell her to stop saying rude things, because for some reason everyone is afraid of her. And I can assure you that all of them will change their ways when they see what a good boy this man is. God damn it! Everyone will want to protect this golden retriever of a person!

Good boy Approved!!

Things this man is old enough to do: - Vote: Yes - Consent to Sex: Yes - Becoming Huntsmen: HE IS ALREADY A HUNTSMEN!

This man has history. He's seen some shit. He has done "things" for his friends. He has killed for his friends. He will not judge you like other people.

Interesting facts: - He is a good boy on the outside, but he is a beast on the inside~ *Wink* *Wink* - He is an Arc, so he is designed for breeding. - He holds the record for most boxes of cereal consumed in one day!

What more can you ask for?!

Look...

Let's face the facts. He may not be the most beautiful person in the world, but you aren't either (I mean that's why you're still single). So stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your mom about that "guy" you met at the supermarket. (We both know that's a lie). He may be too good for you, but he's really desperate. So send him a message and try your luck.

Jaune Arc 206-XXX-XXXX"

Nora: What do you think? Very cool, right?

Jaune:...

Jaune: Am I a joke to you?

[specialagentartemis]

Citizen Science and Contributing To Scientific Endeavor When You're Not "A Scientist"

Comments on some of my posts about science and misinformation express frustration with scientific establishments, and want to see more accessibility and attention given to amateurs participating in the scientific process and having their scientific voices heard.

If being involved in the creation of knowledge and discovery is something important to you, that's something I strongly encourage! It's absolutely possible. Amateur researchers with a passion and an eye for detail have made some fantastic discoveries - but what is often glossed over in stories like these are the years of work, the patient dedication, and the collaboration with university researchers that often underlie such discoveries.

The search for truth and information and the passion for science is present in a lot of people who aren't official "scientists" - curiosity is natural! And if participation in scientific observation, hypothesizing, experimentation, and discovering new things about the world is important to you, there are lots of ways to go about contributing - and the new year is a great time to start.

What are you interested in?

Ecology

Observing the world around you is for everybody. Getting invested in the environment of your hometown is for everybody. And, as the Mythbusters famously said,

Some ideas for a local ecology project:

Record the temperature outside every day at the same time - at sunrise, or noon, or sunset, or midnight. Depending on where you are, the local weather recording station may be miles away or on top of a mountain - measure the temperature yourself and compare it each day to what your app says. When is it accurate? When isn't it?

Record the weather every day. How much precipitation? What time of day? What kind?

Record what animals you see every day, where, when, and how many. Or choose a specific animal, like birds, or bees on flowers, or turtles or frogs in a local pond, or whiptail lizards vs. invasive house geckos, and record the numbers you see each day.

Record when in the year you see the first, or last, of a plant or animal. When the crocuses sprout, when the buds appear on the maple trees, when you see the first clover flowers or prickly pear flowers, when the first robin comes out or the first lizards come out of hibernation.

If you have an outdoor cat or a free-roaming dog, attach a GoPro or similar small camera to its collar to see where it goes and what it does.

Identify the plants growing in your neighborhood, and check in on it regularly to keep track of how each one fares in different weather conditions, or if any animals particularly like or don't like to eat it.

Bulk order some test strips, then take a small sample of soil from a local park or water from a local waterway each weekend and test them for PH, lead, chemicals, or whatever. See if it changes over the year, or after a heavy rainfall, or during drought.

Take a photo of the same spot every day for a year.

Linguistics

The study of how people use language! Everybody uses language in some capacity.

Do you have any small children near you? Talk to them! Record how they pronounce things and what they call new (or even familiar) concepts. Look for patterns.

Ask people you know if "dog" and "blog" rhyme, or if "Alohop" is a good pun for a pineapple beer. My family gets ENDLESS amounts of mileage out of this one with each other. Ask people you know questions about how they pronounce things, or what they call things. Make maps of dialectical differences between generations, neighborhoods, etc. Track linguistic shifts in the modern world.

History

Everyone and everywhere has a history, and accurate history is pressingly relevant always.

See if you have a local historical society, library archive, or history museum that is looking for volunteers to transcribe or translate collections.

Get elbow-deep in local archives. You likely have some sort of local archive near you that has not been fully digitized. Go in with a topic you want to learn about - Black families, Jewish communities, how your hometown transferred from Indigenous hands to settler ones, women who owned their own businesses, immigration, inter-racial relationships, sports, ice harvesting, farming practices, contemporary opinions on a major world history event that now seems so inevitable, sports and people's reactions to sports - and read everything in newspapers, wills, deeds, photographs, or other available records about your topic of choice. See if you can find connections that you haven't seen anyone else talking about.

These are just some things that occur to me immediately as something that anyone can do, if you're sufficiently interested in a question and want to discover more about it. The more local your topic, the less likely anyone has a solid answer to whatever you're wondering - and the more immediately relevant to the people around you your discoveries may be!

Combining it with a New Year's Resolution can also get you more motivated to do the things you want to do. Is your resolution to get more exercise? Take a brisk walk each morning and take a picture of the same area every day for a year. Take a walk every weekend down to the lake and count the turtles and frogs you see. Is your resolution to keep a daily diary For Real This Time? If nothing else, resolve to write down the weather and precipitation each day! Do you want to volunteer more or meet new people? Look for citizen science or local history groups! Feeling like you're working toward something Real is a great motivator.

Henry David Thoreau's detailed descriptions of the nature each day around Walden Pond in the 1840s provides a valuable benchmark for modern ecologists to compare environmental and climatic changes since then on a granular level. Silly rhyming poems and idiosyncratic spellings in letters and diaries help linguists track dialectical and pronunciation changes across time. Amateur science is great and valuable! We all can have a part in understanding and paying deeper attention to the world around us, if we want to.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Who was better and why?

General (or Consul) Bonaparte,

Emperor Napoleon,

Or Napoleon on Saint Helena?

ahhh interesting. I suppose my main question is: What is meant by "better"? Better in what way? How is "better" qualified?

If you're asking if I have a favourite, I don't. I think there are interesting aspects to Napoleon throughout the entirety of his life, no matter what hat he was wearing or persona he was seeking to embody.

In general, I have a particular fondness for Napoleon on Saint Helena because, in many respects, he feels the most accessible in terms of his base humanity.

It's there in Emperor Napoleon, for sure, but it's so hidden and walled over. Or, another way of putting it, he goes to great lengths to try and Perform Empire and that results in an interesting divorce of man and emperor. Josephine commented on this - the split between Napoleon and Bonaparte and how she wished more people knew Bonaparte, because there is a good man under the (at times harsh) imperial mask. Ditto to all the men who knew him pre-empire days saying they loved Bonaparte, not the emperor.

Yet, we still absolutely see aspects of the human under it all. It's just gilded and calcified.

Whereas Napoleon on Saint Helena is presented as more intimate and accessible. This was done on purpose, to a certain degree, because Saint Helena was one large imperial memory making machine. Napoleon was trying to control the post-Empire, posthumous narrative as much as he could. So allowing some intimacy for the viewing audience is important. (Napoleon was a good spin-doctor, never forget this.)

However, I think there are many truths to him as a person that we see at this time that we rarely catch sight of elsewhere:

Napoleon and his interest in the movement of ants and how they do their formations so he wouldn't let the line of them crawling up his bedside table be disturbed;

Napoleon the historian and writer with his millions of projects on the history of France, commentaries of Caesar etc.;

Napoleon the Dad who palled about with the children of his entourage, alongside Betsie Balcombe and others;

Napoleon the practical joker with an impish sense of humour;

Napoleon the man used to getting who he wanted when he wanted them showing a real ugly, nasty side when it came to Madam Bertrand turning down his advances;

Napoleon the man who hyper fixated on sheep at one point (or something in that ballpark) and read everything he could get his hands on then lectured Bertrand about it for a day straight because Napoleon was vibrating with a desire to talk about sheep husbandry;

Napoleon with all his arrogance, cynicism, and self-centeredness but also his personal pride, his sense of duty, his strong work ethic, his cleverness, his intelligence, his desire to be able to be generous even if he wasn't always able to be, the man who missed his family, who mourned the dead, who refused to ever give in and let other people define him etc.

All aspects of the above are present in Napoleon throughout his life, to varying degrees (some come and go with time), we are just able to see him most on Saint Helena.

Funnily enough, General Bonaparte never existed - it was never a military title he formally held. He held other ranks, including head of the army, but he was never simple General Bonaparte during his active military career. It was the name the British bestowed on him in exile so it should be General Bonaparte/Napoleon on Saint Helena.

But I take your point - young Napoleon. Artillery officer Bonaparte then first consul. Artillery officer Bonaparte presents a fascinating time when Napoleon was figuring out who he was in terms of French and Corsican identity. We see him shifting from Buonaparte to Bonaparte - finding his voice, his feet, who he thinks he wants to be and how that changes over time. It's very much a young person in transition and figuring out who he is, putting on different identities to see if they work for him - the way all young people do.

First Consul Bonaparte is actually one I don't have strong thoughts about. But I've always been interested in Old Man Napoleon and other select aspects, and so my interests rarely took me into the First Consul period.

---

thank you for the ask! Not sure if I answered it at all but you know...have some half-awake ramblings.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

On the scale from abandonment to 'Oh my God! I'm gunna be a dad?!' level od happiness ...

Where do you think your ghoul harem would fall?

Firstly, I got quite the kick out of you calling it my harem, Anon. I can't lie, that's what my husband and I playfully call it because that's what it feels like. They all live in a little sex paddock in my brain. Also, if you or anyone else is interested and hasn't seen it, I've previously discussed how I think being pregnant by a ghoul would go, as well as what I think the genetic offspring of a ghoul would be like here.

I suppose we'll go "happiest" to "least happy". It's a tad long, but I may add others in the future; some of them are a bit NSFW. Mild trigger warnings for minor discussions of death and forced abortion.

This was a fun ask; thanks for reading!

Cooper Howard would be absolutely over the moon. Puts him in the best mood you've ever seen him in and spikes his sex drive through the roof. Ravenously horny your entire pregnancy, but, as I discussed once before, he refuses to have penetrative sex for fear of hurting you or the baby. He's one of the only ghouls we canonically know has had a child before, and he loves being a father. Though he and Barb had tried with all their might to have more children, it never worked out for them, so being a dad again was a dream he'd abandoned even before the War. Sure, he worries about the world you're bringing the child into, but he's confident in his ability to protect and provide. There would be a thick layer of guilt or sadness, as well, if he's still searching for Janey. But it's not like he's gonna give up looking for his first family just because he's creating a new one.

Edward Deegan is also thrilled, but with an edge of the typical fear you'd feel at knowing your life is about to change completely. I'd say he has the most "normal" reaction out of the bunch. He's wanted a family for a long time and has been slowly planning and building up resources, waiting for the right person to come along. Still, there's no perfect-feeling time to have a baby, he tells himself, so it'll always be a bit scary. Spoils you a ton (if you're getting a "push present" from anyone, it's him or Coop), but also infantilizes you a bit the way people often do to pregnant folks. "First time father" anxiety big time. He also gets pretty horny about it, but he's less afraid of hurting you. Figures that if the pregnancy itself is super radioactive already, a little extra won't hurt. Still, he worries about his size, so you're generally on top of him or on your side when the two of you have sex.

John Hancock is petrified beyond belief and harbors serious doubts that he's worthy of fatherhood, but that doesn't stop him from being happy, especially after you reassure him a bit. He's always wanted family, always searched for and attempted to piece one together, and the fact that you want to build one with him overwhelms him with joy. I will say that I believe John's reaction in his younger days would have been abandonment out of sheer panic. He'd hate himself for it, and he might show back up a few years down the road in an attempt to fix things once he's healed more, but if we're honest with ourselves, he has a history of hitting the road when things get tough.

Joshua Graham is of two minds about it. There's the "Mormon former Legionary and misogynist with a massive breeding kink" part of him that's very excited by the news, so excited that he gets lightheaded from how much blood rushes to his cock when you tell him. On that front, he feels a level of satisfaction he's never felt before and would love to bend you over the nearest stable surface to celebrate. You know, after a good prayer of thanks. On the other hand...he feels immediate panic and fear that it's basically a trap, not from you, but from God. Suspects he's being led into an even worse downfall than before, like he'll have you and the child only to have you both snatched away. He hides that suspicion, though; he doesn't want to scare you or make you worry. You do notice he seems to pray even more than he did before after you tell him you're pregnant, to the point you worry for his mental health (not that you didn't already). You'd worry more if you knew he basically views himself as in negotiations with God for your safety.

Gob's catatonic in shock for a solid half hour, but once his ears stop ringing, he's pretty excited. Granted, he's a massive worrier, and this only gives him another point of fear to whittle away at in his mind, another loved one to fret over. He's very sweet to you after he calms down, though, making his best efforts to apologize for not reacting "properly" to the news the first time.

Raul reacts much like Gob, but the stress literally makes him physically ill when you tell him. The pain of losing the people he already has nearly killed him, and all he can think about is how much losing a child would hurt. He comes around, though, especially once you start to show and he starts to remember what it was like to grow up with a big family full of love. He's overly protective of you, though, to the point where he may become a bit controlling out of fear and be blind to it.

Rotface is excited, but an even larger part of him feels ashamed because he knows he's not in a place to contribute materially to the raising of a child. May become especially desperate for money while you're pregnant to the point where he falls into trouble.

Kent Connolly doesn't really know how to react when you tell him. Feels guilty that his initial feeling isn't joy. He's never pictured himself as a father, and he's not sure he'd be any good at it. Plus, having a child involves looking a lot more at the future than the past, which isn't how Kent's lived his life for a long, long time. His reaction will depend a lot on your own. Will come around to being excited if you are.

Charon's reaction is complicated. He sees how excited you are, and part of him feels excited too, but a much larger part of him feels an existential dread that's trying to swallow him whole. For one, he doesn't see himself as the sort of man who would make a functional father, let alone a good one. But that isn't his primary worry. Mostly, he worries for your health. Between his size (and therefore the likely size of your baby once you reach full term) and the radiation exposure, he fears he could lose you. Traumatic birth can easily kill in the wasteland. Doesn't care for the risk, and you're all the family he needs. He definitely tries to talk you into getting rid of it, which may or may not cause a massive argument.

Harland might actually stick around a bit longer than he'd originally planned if you got pregnant, but only to help you through "taking care of it". Loses all sexual interest in you (or, at the very least, he pretends to so you won't get ideas about things working out between you). He's not a completely uncaring prick, but he's very blunt in telling you he has no intentions of being a father, and that if you choose to pursue parenthood, you'll be doing it solo. He may waver a bit on this stance, but ultimately he'd never be a consistently present father.

Jason Bright literally evaporates into thin air before you can finish telling him. As far as he sees it, your needs (and the needs of the child) will never matter more than his mission to liberate ghouls. Plus, being a father doesn't fit into his plans to literally leave the planet, so...

Dean Domino will stick around...if you get rid of it. You think ol' Dean-o has never pressured a woman into an abortion before? If only you could ask Vera; she'd have incredibly unpleasant stories to tell you. Don't get me wrong, he gets a kick out of the idea that he's claimed you to completely, and he may even wanna fuck you a few times while you're pregnant. However, it's very much a "Thanks, that was cute; now chuck that thing." scenario. If you're determined to keep it, contrary to what he wants, be very careful. Dean's insidious in how underhanded he can be when people cross him. Your life could be in danger.

[starsfic]

drunk red son admitting that he thinks MK is adorable is my crack

His phone was ringing.

His phone was ringing and it was three in the morning. At least, that was what the blurry red smudges on his clock looked lik. Qi Xiaotian reached over and, after a few minutes of smacking around, found his phone.

He squinted at the bright light as it turned on.

Red Son was calling him.

Weird.

Tonight, or at least last night, was their bachelor parties and they had agreed on not talking tonight while he chilled at the party that Long Xiaojiao, as his maid of honor, threw. Macaque had insisted on being his man of honor and Xiaotian hadn't regretted it. His party had been fun! A night at the theatre, thanks to Macaque's connections, followed by make-your-own noodles and a full run down of all his baby videos had been great. People switched between him and Red without any issue.

At least, until Azure Lion had talked to him while everyone else was busy. Despite working on making g up for his actions, it seemed he still had some resentment for DBK and Princess Iron Fan.

"You don't have to marry him."

Xiaotian scowled at the thought. Yes, he did, because he loved Red and wanted to get married and have a huge family... A fresh ring brought him back. A message was under the call.

Dragon_Girl: Sorry, he missed you too much!

Right under that message was a picture. His heart swelled at Red, curled up on some couch. He held his phone. Xiaojiao's picture had the perfect angle to show it was a picture of him.

"Awww, Red..." Xiaotian pressed answer. "Hi, handsome. Are you-"

"NOODLE BOY!" He bit back a snort at the voice. Was Red drunk? It took a lot to make him drunk. "NOODLE BOY I LOVE YOU!" Xiaotian's shoulders shook with restrained laughter. "DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

"I hear you, I hear you," Xiaotian managed to wheeze. "I love you too, Red!"

"NOT AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU..." There was a groan that seemed to echo. Was he in the bathroom? "YOU...YOU...YOU AND YOUR CUTE FACE!"

"You think I'm cute?" Of course, he did. Red told him how cute he was in private. There had been a whole presentation once that had made Xiaotian weak at the knees. "How cute?"

"Cute....Cuter than...than...BABY COWS!" He leaned back at the yell. "What are they called?"

A chuckle came from the other side. "They're calves, Red," Xiaojiao's voice drifted in. "Let me talk to your pretty husband, kay?"

"Sure..." As the phone was exchanged, Xiaotian had to lean back again at a gasp of "WE'RE MARRIED!"

"You're getting married, Red," Xiaojiao sighed, clearly fighting back giggles. "Hey, bud! Sorry, I know you and Red didn't want to talk, so you would be all excited to see each other during the wedding, but he really wanted to talk to you. Especially with how much he was talking about your cute, kissable face."

"It's not a problem," Xiaotian leaned back with a satisfied sigh. 'How much did he drink?"

"Eh..." Xiaojiao paused, probably mentally counting, before groaning. "I don't know. I lost track of him a bit," This sigh was less giggly. "When I found him, Azure was talking to him. I don't know what he said, but Red was really interested in the drinks after that."

Of course. "Yeah, Azure talked to me too," Xiaotian rubbed his temples. He would tell Wukong about it the next day. Peng was already banned from getting anywhere near him or Red or any future kids. He didn't want to add Azure to that list, but he would if he had to. "But, he doesn't matter. Keep a good eye on him, okay? I wanna kiss his cute kissable face."

Xiaojiao chuckled. "Of course I will. Hey, Red, I'm hanging up. Do you have something you want to say?"

Silence, a deep breath...

"I LOVE YOU!!!!!"

Xiaotian finally couldn't take it, even as his ears rang from the shriek. "I LOVE YOU TOO!" He hung up before a stream of high, happy giggles shot out of him.

Forget Azure, forget whatever stupid history was in the past, focus on the now. The now was important. The now was this-

Tomorrow (because they did want to recover from their parties) Xiaotian would walk down the aisle with his cute love and wed him in front of their family.

And hopefully there would be no more lonely nights.

[tyunniebbang]

pretty people downtown | k.sn

pick your poison — love, lust, passion. who knows what i did it for?

a/n: this is my take on the stereotypical femme fatale role for sunoo <3. i don't really see anyone writing him with such a character yet it fits him so well! manipulative sexy sunoo should be something we explore more ;)

wc: ~800

warnings/notes: gender neutral!reader, extremely flirty sunoo, lots of nicknaming (sweetheart, honey, etc.), discussion about crimes, slightly suggestive

"kim sunoo, age 21. born in south korea, moved to LA when he was 10. his family history is largely unknown. he's listed as unemployed, but he's been seen around many bars downtown with men and women alike."

god, you might have a big case on your hands right now. and it all came wrapped with a ribbon nicely for you, in the form a blonde young man, sitting elegantly in the interrogation room.

you huff, trying to amp yourself up for a tough mental fight coming ahead. there's no saying on how much he'll talk, so you might end up in there for a long time. nothing rousing in this line of work, you suppose.

checking all your files are present, everything in place, you walk towards the door and get interrupted right before that knob tweaks open. "detective, you know he might be just the one we're looking for." you glance back at your colleague. "be careful, y/n. he's not gentle as you think he is."

_

"kim sunoo. do you know why you're here today?"

the blank face finally turns to you, perhaps getting some interest in you and your words. those eyes, they bore into you relentlessly and glisten with intrigue.

and he slumps back into the chair.

seriously, is he going to play the silent game?

you had to get something out of this beauty today, no matter what it took. so you continued, "sunoo-ssi. this isn't a laughing matter. you've been accused as a suspect for multiple connected murders. you could end up behind bars for decades."

he immediately shoots his arrow: "the only place i'll like to end up is in someone's bed, preferably yours."

"e-excuse me?" saving yourself from choking from his bold words, you would've never expected this pretty boy's first words to be like this.

what are you thinking, he isn't pretty! he's a suspect for god's sake, get your head in the game...

well, his outfit doesn't help his case. he's in an all black ensemble: a tight fitting turtle neck, a black skirt and fish nets. his earlobes, neck, fingers all adorned with various silver accessories. who dresses like this anymore? it's 2pm for heaven's sake, you think it's more likely to see someone like this at 2am.

sunoo hums, inching closer and closer to you. even if he looks slightly cute with his chubby cheeks and pale skin, you can't shake off the constant uneasiness that he gives you. this man is dangerous - you conclude, why does one singular person give you such the creeps that gnaws at you consistently?

"you can stop trying to read me sugar, it won't work."

"i wasn't—"

"shhh. honey, sometimes beautiful people look the prettiest when they don't open their mouth, hm?"

immediately, your body betrays itself as you feel your cheeks heating up to a crimson red. you hesitate at the finger pressed on your lips right now, mouth sealed shut. is it even normal to feel this flustered when you get complimented by a criminal?

he doesn't even care. he doesn't care that he's sitting in an investigation room, with possibly heaps of crimes stacked up against him. that he may very well end up in jail, with a criminal record, guilty of all the most heinous crimes. he doesn't care — and that annoys you to no end.

all kim sunoo cares about is getting into your pants?

this sly, seductive son of a bitc—

"tell me, y/n. what makes you think i came here to confess a crime?"

...he knows your name.

creepy, you admit. most people who sit in that chair usually want nothing to deal with you, and yet sunoo himself has defied all expectations in the first 10 minutes of meeting him.

"y-you... you think you're innocent? don't lie, sunoo-ssi. it's not a good track record."

"oh but i have a clear one. you have nothing on me, don't you? don't fool me with those thick files. i know the laws inside out, y/n." he spits.

"you've clearly been looking everywhere for your suspect, and suddenly one shows up at your doorstep? come on sweetheart, i know you're smarter than this. i've only appeared because i wanted to." he scoffs, gazing into the one way glass behind you. "it's just amusing watching your team run around in circles before you closed this case cold."

this man's domineering aura is glowing brighter and brighter every second, even though you thought he was already intimidating when you first walked in. it feels like a prey getting trapped in their own trap. you've made one for kim sunoo, so why does it feel like you're the one losing and drowning?

you drop speechless on your seat, unable to find an answer for his little monologue.

"though... you're a fairly beautiful person, love. i wouldn't mind talking to you afterwards, hm? wouldn't you love to know what happens when i mingle with pretty people downtown?"

[bassettmemes]

SCREAM VI SENTENCE STARTERS ↳ spoilers will be present and are tagged as such. general horror movie trope trigger warnings apply. death/murder, mentions of blood/gore, etc.

we have to finish the movie.

who gives a fuck about the movie?!

i always wanted to stick something in you, [name]!

this is creepy, right?

he's after me! he's got a knife!

the worst part is: you teach a class about slashers, and you still walked into a dark alley. alone.

[name] wouldn't be caught dead at a frat party.

get me a drink!

we said we wouldn't use the voice modulator on each other.

it was even better than we ever even imagined.

is that why you killed her? because she gave you a c-?

come on, [name]. how long have we known each other?

why are you fucking with me?

you know what? this is stupid.

what i'm really worried about is [name].

every time i push you for specifics, you shut down.

i have trust issues.

my father was a famous serial killer. they made a movie about him.

last year i found out that my boyfriend was also a serial killer.

i stabbed him 22 times and slit his throat, and then shot him in the head. that's not why i'm here.

it felt... right.

i'm not equipped to deal with this kind of thing.

by law, i'm required to report this to the authorities.

who the fuck is [name]?!

she went to the omega kappa beta party.

i cannot speak to how heavily armed [name] is at this fraternity party.

it doesn't bother you? being at a house party after you were almost brutally murdered at a house party?

i guess i should stay close to you, then.

why don't you get your fucking hands off her?

i'm just gonna tase you in the balls real quick.

don't ever lay hands on my sister.

are you fucking kidding me?

you embarrassed me!

if i wanna hook up with an asshole, that's my decision!

you're not dealing with what happened to us!

i'm uninterested in living in the past like you are.

so you're just gonna pretend like it never happened?

i'm just trying to look out for you.

you can't do it for the rest of my life, though. you have to let me go.

i think you're really special.

did i cockblock you?

please stop saying the word cock.

i can't help but notice you're covered in cherry coke.

being famous isn't all it's cracked up to be.

the last two people who fucked with us ended up dead.

do you have alibis for earlier tonight?

i met [name] at that party. where i tased someone. unrelated.

i take a special interest in ghostface attacks...

we share a certain history...

do you think you're the reason the ghostface killer has come to the big apple?

stay away from us.

are you really still mad at me?

i heard you couldn't sell the movie rights.

you called me unstable and a born killer.

maybe you're just afraid that without ghostface in your life, you're gonna fade away.

what's a requel?

you're beautiful, sweetie. hold all questions until the end.

am i gonna die a virgin?

that was a weird overshare...

why am i on the suspect list?

the slutty roommate: a horror movie classic.

never trust the love interest.

what if the trauma you all went through made one, or more, of you snap?

that's pretty messed up.

it's like he's leaving us real-life franchise easter eggs.

it's like he's counting down to something.

forget about the movies; the movies don't matter.

did you just give us a nickname?

you can't just give yourself a nickname, dingus.

we have all been through some really fucked up stuff and we are all coping with it differently.

we're a team.

i've been sleeping with cute boy from across the hall.

i freaking knew it! i knew it, i knew it, i knew it!

yeah, she's my roommate, but you're, like, the police.

she's really freaked out.

oh, fuck, that guy's dead!

say something more positive!

you fuck with my family, you die.

sorry i punched you...

when did they start letting children into the fbi?

you look like a zygote.

i'm just really good at my job. you'll get there.

it's not just a theater, it's a shrine.

how did they get all this? isn't this evidence?

i had a crush on corey feldman...

okay. game recognize game.

when do i get to be a normal person again?

my parents suck to. you can still make your own family.

technically i did die. four minutes.

when i recovered, i got mad. i didn't want to spend the rest of my life being afraid of monsters. i wanted the monsters to be afraid of me.

bitch, last time i saw you, you were in glee club.

did you really think we were gonna steal a police car and not use the sirens?

that's a cop car! you can't steal a cop car!

spoiler alert: it never works out for the dipshit in the mask.

i'm scared.

i'll just give myself up. if this is what i have to do to keep you safe, it's worth it.

none of us would even be alive if it weren't for you.

he's gonna keep coming after us.

we want to lure him to a secure location and lure him inside.

and then we execute him. are you gonna help us?

let's kill the son of a bitch.

god damn it, i got it wrong again. what the fuck?

fuck this franchise.

don't trust anyone, remember?

you're not woodsboro. i'm sorry.

i cleared the whole place before you got here.

we turned it into a kill box.

we're safe here.

grab a weapon and clear this place yourself.

[name] has been on a downward spiral since the woodsboro murders last year.

they fired [name] two months ago for being mentally unstable. they're no longer with the fbi.

it's [name], they're the killer!

smile for the camera, motherfucker!

"dying" was a good way to get off the suspect list.

i got stu macher's mask. he was my favorite.

this is what we've been counting down to, [name].

fuck you!

i didn't commit those murders in woodsboro!

all the best lies are based on the truth.

there's the fucking killer.

we had to kill those two wannabe film students, because, well, we had to kill you first.

he was so pathetic.

looks like you're down another sibling.

always gotta shoot 'em in the head.

what's your favorite scary movie? i'm asking because you're in one now.

you're in my movie.

my father was a murderer. no matter what you think, i'm better than that.

i promise you i'm going to get so much therapy after this.

we're all part of the same fucked up family now.

did i miss the monologue again?!

[ringleaderising]

Hello! I wanna do lore for my lair, BUT I want a cool, cohesive family tree, and I feel like I have to start over cus a lot of my dragons have fodder children. Any advice? I haven't used any gene scrolls yet, so it wouldn't be wasting money...

You wanna know a secret?

A good chunk of my lair have fodder children and even some have unnamed hatchlings sitting in dead lairs unlikely to ever be named/used/exalted/etc. Pig and Sow are actually two of the only dragons I breed who didn't already have *some* children.

There is a lot of pressure, I think, when you want to go closer and more cohesive, to burn it all to the ground and start fresh, even if for simplicity's sake, but there's always going to be a sentimental component, and I think those are just as important? It's easy to look at your lair and be like "I want to wipe this clean and start new and do something wholly different and be cohesive/tight/aesthetically pleasing" But there's also going to be that risk of regret afterward, about removing your favorites, or something you're sentimentally fond of.

My advice, really, is to take a look at the dragons who have fodder offspring- is there a way you can explain these children not existing/not being present in your lore/connected to their parents? Be that loss of a nest/eggs or a possible unawareness of those children for another reason? If yes, then work that angle! weave those traits into their history as a character. If you can't, then that's when you take the time to think about if you can simply pretend some of those offspring don't exist- which is something I do with Mercy and Laelette.

these two are some of my favorite dragons. And canonically they have only one child, Wisteria. Their offspring lists, though, tell a wholly different story.

Boiled down, because I have a tendency to ramble:

if you can explain an offspring list in-lore somehow for a dragon/pair, fertility issues, lost nests, etc, that's not only something that can further inform a character (if explored tactfully, of course)! but also a way to justify a less tightly-wound family tree.

If you can't explain these things in-canon, there's absolutely no harm in simply only acknowledging the ones that apply to your lore/interpersonal connections! People breed dragons all the time, not every pairing is gonna be a lore-important one, especially after an overhaul with characters you've owned for years!

If there truly is nothing you can do to spare yourself having to move on/restart with a specific dragon/character/etc there's no harm in it- interests change over time, I've given away or sold long-time lair members simply because they don't fit anymore- there's always a chance somebody you loved for years will find someone else to adore them for many more, too!