#and the crying didn't help either
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When Shanks adopted Uta Buggy was very much “this is your project” but she quickly grew on him and soon Buggy was helping here and there behind the scenes.
#20 year old dads at sea#if shanks caught him helping buggy would just be like#“WELL you're the captain we all need you RESTED” but be secretly flattered that the kid always stops crying when he holds her#one piece#shanks#buggy#shuggy#uta#MyArt#also shanks didn't have his scar when he found her so eh I'm not drawing it either
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I will never be over the fact that tbhk really takes place in 2015
We know that AidaIro published the first chapter in December 2014
The Yugi Twins were in the 66th Festival in 1968 and the curent present have the 113th Festival.
On this panel, it's written that the 1st of September was a Tuesday. The closest years to the manga airing having this date being either 2009 or 2015.
Bonus:
Which means: the 1st year (Aoi, Akane, Nene) were born in 1999, Teru in 1998 and Kou and Mitsuba in 2000.
#toilet bound hanako kun#tbhk#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#that's a mini stuff but my timeline heart lover is happy#I fcking hate tbhk bc their timeline is a mess#makes no sense and It makes me wanna cry#Teru and Akane's meeting make no sense (probably just errors during the creation of the panels#so it's fair) but it stresses me out sm#yashiro nene#aoi akane#akane aoi#they are born the same year as me I am in tears help#they are ten times younger than me in my head#we knew it was probably either 2014 or 2015 but lil hints are always fun#since I had a big lost of interest in the festival arc (and I don't like the Yugi twins backstory) I didn't connect the dots help#I did with the date :'))#2015 really explain Teru's horrible fashion sense#but in the end the manga has tons of anachronisms but it's normal the date is not that important#it's just funny#the last image is badly edited and translated bc it's in french at first idk why I couldn't find an english website with this
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I think about that conversation where Rory calls Dean "safe" a lot. Like, in what way is Dean "safe"? She, with the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, is comparing Dean's predictability with Jess's unpredictability, of course, but Dean had also dumped Rory TWICE by this point (and would dump her again!) and blamed it on her both times! He blames every problem in their relationship on her, actually! How is that "safe"?! But I've been thinking about it, I think a lot of it comes down to Rory's issues with control. Rory as a character likes to have all her ducks in a row, everything listed and planned (though she occasionally veers to the other impulsive extreme, which is interesting). She doesn't like feeling out of control of herself, her feelings, or what happens to her. So, in contrast to how I might feel about it, Dean constantly blaming her and breaking up with her feels "safe" to her because she can tell herself that SHE chose the outcome of the relationship. Everything is her fault, which means SHE decided it would be this way. Dean broke up with her because SHE didn't appreciate him enough, and that was her choice! Dean is mad at her because SHE studied too much or talked to the wrong person, and that was her choice! Everything is her fault means Nothing is Dean's fault equals "Dean never did anything bad to me." If Dean yells at her, it's because she deserved it, which means that everything is the way it's supposed to be! Predictable input-> output. Safe. It's what she chose. Rory is in control of her fate!
And Jess... She could control absolutely nothing about Jess. She couldn't control how she felt about him! She didn't want to fall in love with him, and she fell anyway. She was simply overwhelmed by it, without her own consent. She couldn't control her feelings, and she couldn't control the outcome of their relationship either. Jess leaving had nothing to do with her! But instead of that being a consolation, it was terrifying, because that meant there was nothing she could do about it. Jess crashed into her life and her heart and then was gone like a summer storm, and she was just as powerless to prevent either one. And she had found that kind of thrilling once upon a time, but now he's lost and what's to prevent him from slipping through her fingers yet again? It's out of her hands.
Her feelings for Dean are manageable. They're not going to overwhelm her and make her feel out of control. He's nice to her, because when he's not nice, she deserved it. This is what "safe" feels like.
#Gilmore Girls#Rory Gilmore#Anti Dean Forester#(just for filtering purposes)#Literati#(adjacent)#She definitely starts her 'friends with benefits' thing with Logan thinking it's something she can control too#Whoopsies that didn't work either haha#Before you know it you're crying on the bathroom floor#And saying things like 'I can't help it- I'm in love with him.'#But the intent was there haha
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just woke up from a baby dream and I'm a sobbing wreck :) anyway Logan Huntzberger doesn't expect much from his future besides monetary success, partying, and a lot lot lot of sex. he definitley doesn't expect to look up one day and realize he's sharing a home, a life with someone. not only that, but he's the one that instigated it. he told you in college he didn't like you being around other guys. he stopped caring about the girls that he would go between, because now he just seems to care about you. everything else falls to the sidelines. so he comes back to his big fancy house after an important business meeting on the golf course, and he sees you there. some old sitcom is marathoning on tv, and you're wrapped up in fluffy blankets, hair up and out of your face. you look so cozy, so comfortable. you keep adjusting the blankets, fussing with them as you hum softly. he walks closer, overcome with a feeling of love and swelling pride and... paternal instinct he's never felt. your son Henry, just a month or two old is bundled on your arms. you look up at Logan and smile so warmly he could cry just from the look on your face when you see him.
"hi," you breathe softly. Henry's settled down, so you don't want to rile him up too much, but he's not all the way asleep.
"hey ace," he breaths, sitting next to you. he wraps you in his arms and kisses you, meeting forgotten as you both admire you baby boy together. you rub his tummy gently, soothingly, and Logan smooths his hair. it's short and fuzzy, and a little prickly. it makes him laugh softly. Henry is wearing the white and blue onesie Honor got for him at the baby shower. he makes a mental note to take some pictures to send her of him wearing it. the soft fabric of his polo shirt and the smell of his cologne mixed with the distinct remnants of golf course air is so comforting. he watches you admire your son, trace the shape of his cute little nose, copy the faces he makes, babble little noises at him. he watches you smooth his hair and help him get comfortable in your arms, watches you place your finger in his hand so he can hold onto it with that surprisingly strong baby death grip. Henry wiggles around, getting comfortable in your arms, and you kiss his forehead again. once you're sure that he's settled, not too warm and not too cold, comfortable and lying safely, you can finally relax. you rest your head on Logan's shoulder, closing your eyes and finally letting yourself relax and rest a little. you take in a big deep breath of his masculine scent, somehow both spicy and refreshing, and sigh. you're content. you're more than content, he realizes. you're happy. Logan... made you happy. he found out what you wanted and built you a life you want, a life he wants. it hits him like a ton of bricks in one overwhelming, amazing moment, and he soaks in the feeling, watching the way your sleeping babys face and yours mirror each other.
#drabbles#logan huntzberger#logan huntzberger x reader#logan huntzberger drabbles#dilf!logan#dilf logan#gilmore girls#gilmore girls x reader#gilmore girls drabbles#domestic bliss#tooth rotting fluff#god help me#henry was his actual name in the dream#i kept waking up in the dream every time he moved or started to fuss#the plot of the rest of the dream was gone once I realized I had a baby#like it was still happening but I didn't care#it hit me so hard#i was like this is real. i actually did it. i have a baby.#his nose and his eyes and his little hands were so real. i could feel him grabbing my hand#i could FEEL the soft felty texture of his onesie#now i'm crying again! hooray!#well either I'll meet the love of my life soon or hunt down some sperm or something cause my baby fever is truely unbearable#i call it baby fever but i think it's just a deep overwhelming desire to be a good parent like how my mom is yk#also i just. want a baby. like... that's allowed#people are allowed to want to have babies#anyway#yeah#i guess i have to distract myself now because i'm gonna be fucked up for the rest of the week! huzzah!#i found pictures on pinterest that look just like him#how do you handle this?????? anyone got any tips for being debilitatingly single and coping with baby dreams???????????
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one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao
#moogletalks#in some ways it was a wonderful community; and it taught me a lot of really helpful things#and made me feel validated and hopeful that This is a Thing That You Can Continue to Be and Develop in an Adult Life#instead of feeling like there was a time limit for when plurality stopped being Childlike Imagination and started being Craziness(tm)#(lots to unpack there lol)#.....in other ways not only was there Some Real Fuckery going on in the community in general; on an interpersonal basis#but i cannot overstate how horrifically toxic and damaging some of the things it taught me about plurality were#and how when i entered the phase of young adulthood where i realized the approach it had demanded of me was unsustainable to my survival#instead of having other perspectives on hand to go 'hey yeah you're not torturing your parts to death out of laziness if they go dormant'#'and/or if you don't spend hours of extremely grueling intensive work at minimum into maintaining them every single day of your life'#'and that if they dissolve into nothing because you Didn't Pay Them Enough Attention and you try to recreate them it won't be the same one'#'and if they DO actually come back as themselves they'll be horribly broken and traumatized and probably hate you forever'#'who the fuck told you that. oh my god?'#all i had to go on was 'either you're plural or you live an actual functional life in the real world; and i can't not do the latter atp'#and the result was repressing myself in an incredibly traumatic way i have just never fully recovered from even now#the fun cherry on top was that later when i *did* try to ask (very kind and well-meaning) plural ppl from another mental health community#if anything i described sounded familiar to their own experiences; or ones they had heard from other people#their response was pretty much 'idk that doesn't sound plural to me; i'm sorry; it's something where if you have it you know :('#me crying my eyes out for days afterward: obviously this reaction is bc i want to appropriate plurality to feel special#and am throwing tantrums at having the bubble broken by Reality#anyway. it's been a lot and yeah i really wish i'd had literally any other affirming plural community as a kid lol#ableism cw#internalized ableism cw#pluralitag#traumatag#adventures in mental illness#disabilitag
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Not even a Danny Ric girlie and I just wanna go hug him 🥺
#formula 1#daniel ricciardo#singapore gp 2024#I should've stayed out of his tag because now my dumb empath ass is crying like a baby#watching his post race interviews live didn't help either#why do I do this to myself
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just thinking about how in the show, Elayne's first meeting with Nynaeve is watching her emerge from presumed death, covered in blood and having a mental breakdown
like, damn, no wonder they're so ride-or-die for each other later on
#the wheel of time#the wheel of time spoilers#wot on prime#wot show spoilers#spoilers#nynaeve al'meara#elayne trakand#do we think elayne like went to get help or waited for a chance to awkwardly introduce herself once nynaeve finally stopped crying#elayne: oh yeah hi i'm elayne i'm very glad you didn't actually die#i definitely wanted to collect another friend and you sounded cool#nynaeve: what the feck#later- nynaeve: you’ve seen me vulnerable which means i have to either kill you or decide that you’re one of my people#there’s no middle ground
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btw in case you're wondering if, after reaching adulthood, you finally escape the horrible pain of always being picked last for sports/games: unfortunately, it does still happen, and it still hurts as much as it did when you were a kid
#did i cry about it? i am embarrassed to say yes#listen. i know i'm short and slow and don't know how to play most sports#but still.#also i may be used to this#but being the last to be chosen means you're not chosen at all because you're automatically part of the team#that didn't choose you either. so there's that!#anyway you guys everything feels really heavy right now and so something as small as this feels like so much#i couldn't help for a little moment thinking. well y'all SAY you like me and want me around. but clearly none of you wanted me on your team#not a single one of you! what's up with that!!!!#and i understand that i really do. i'm not aggressive or intimidating on the field. but the point still stands#anyway that is something i would like prayer for. even though community building IS going well#and there ARE bright spots#but the general feeling of this season is feeling unwanted and undesirable and in some capacity unlovable#so would really appreciate prayer in the larger as well as the smaller things#the small things like this accumulate SO quickly and i really.....hate that actually#the waiting room chapter
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Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)
#Doodles#I wonder what this is in reference to lol - could be anything really!#Bit funny actually - I was reading something else in overlap at the time - a fic from another fandom though it ended up not being for me#Different authors just speak to different people! It was fun to come back to something familiar and realize Just how much I appreciate it ah#Novel and familiar! My very favourite <3 And of course it was a wonderful experience on top of that hehe ♪♫#Numbers lol - I really have done way too much age headcanon math pfft#I just love timelines! And even if the hints aren't exact they /are/ hints and I'm going to use them!!#The numbers that are established are such fun markers - and using characterization as hints towards how many years have passed! Ah! ♪#Like how it's definitely possible that Max took a two year but considering his family he was probably pushed to do a four year#There's no confirmation either way but it's just so fun to consider what they'd do based on how they're written!#These are the kind of written math problems I enjoy hehe#I was being a bit self-deprecating for that doodle actually tho lol - art mimics life and all that pfft#Also confirmation of him being a Lit Major ❤️💕💖💞💗 Small details give me big love you must understand this lol#As evidenced lol ♪ Adding to my playlist definitely didn't help it very strongly upgraded to Big Love for like a week straight lol#Terrible ♪ Couldn't stand it <3 Genuinely painful ♫#Lol - ''finding'' more - it's what had my blood on fire! I'm so grateful for mirrors#Anyone who's been following me for a while knows I have this whole thing about Legacy and what you leave behind and the internet in general#That the internet is forever except when it's not - that plenty of things get deleted or lost etc. etc. and it makes me very sad :(#So seeing that there was an in-built preservation - it only saved Some things but anything saved is precious!! It made me very happy <3#And then finishing off 💔💕 Beautifully heartbreaking ah#Even skim-reading later made me cry again! It's deeply affecting hhh#Another experience I'm so happy to be able to have ♥ Another tally on the wall haha <3
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I've never heard of emts working only at events? What's that like for you if you don't mind my asking?
Yeah, there are ambulance companies that staff certain events, but there's some event specific companies out there lmao. For me specifically, it's almost entirely college events, whether it's happening on a campus or not. It's not great, usually pretty boring, but it's better than being on an ambulance or in a hospital. We do get actual emergencies sometimes, but usually it's just getting drunk people to the tent or giving out water and bandaids lmao. Again, boring as fuck, but I chose this over working on a 911 rig, so that's on me 😔 if I'm being so real tho, other than my coworkers, the best part of the job is the food lmaoooo it's so good and all the food trucks/food booths give discounts or free food to us depending on the location and event. And there's almost always a ton of downtime, so I basically just get paid to sit there and vibe for the most part
#not snz#when i say i love my job i mean i love very specific parts of it lmao#idk if I've said it here before or not and this is gonna sound so bad coming from someone working in healthcare#but i don't like patients lmao#i love the book stuff and i love everything in theory and i know how everything works and I'm very enthusiastic about it#but man do i not like patients ahskaksk#there are exceptions obviously but those are few and far between#it's why i love being an emt at my fire station bc we don't reslond to medical calls#like I've done medical calls there for the public but very rarely bc people either approach us or we stumble upon them#so i really only do my emt things on the people i know and i love that#i love my coworkers so I'm always happy to make sure they're okay and help them out when they're not#but i feel nothing for the public and i didn't realize i genuinely couldn't care less about them until i started doing my clinicals#it's just awkward and I'm not invested in them i just like figuring out what's wrong with them and interact with them as little as possible#again there are exceptions and i do like some of the patients but generally I'm just trying to hand them off asap#so yeah i do like working events bc the alternative is being confined to a tiny box or trapped in a hospital#i like being outside and being able to walk around the place and do things if i want to#and obviously i adore my partner#and even on the rare occasions i work with someone else all day i love my other coworkers too#and i mean yeah this might be more boring than working on an emergency rig However#it pays so much better#like why do y'all think my medic partner works there lmao he's actually good with patients and prefers the ambulance#but the pay in the field is shit so he gets paid way more working events than he would at the three letter company#insane actually that he makes over ten dollars more an hour working chill events than he would being overworked on a rig#anyway i digress#I'm looking into pathology assistant school rn bc there's like no patient interaction there but i still get to be nosy#so that's perfect for me lmao#everyone keeps saying i missed my calling as a vet tho like i don't cry when a dog dies in a movie lmao i wouldn't survive#working with animals would be amazing but the only thing that really gets you money is being a vet#so that can be a hobby
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Why am I like this
#I'm so frustrated with myself#I wanted to have dinner two hours ago but I just didn't#and now I've sat around for two hours really hungry doing nothing#so I've wasted two hours I could have been productive during#and now I'm barely even hungry anymore I just feel kinda sick and so angry with myself#and I really doubt I'll manage to get anything done once I've finally cooked and eaten dinner#because it's late and I already feel tired#and the fact that I'm so upset with myself certainly doesn't help either#I can't focus when I feel like this I just want to cry and scream and hurt myself#which sounds so dramatic over absolutely nothing I know it's stupid#but I just get like this sometimes#I was already feeling kinda on edge all day and it's just getting worse#everything is so loud and I'm stressed and overwhelmed#my head already really hurt but I just hit it so hard god I'm so stupid I wish I wasn't like this#as if giving myself more of a headache was gonna make anything better#god I can't do anything#and why does this man need to watch tv with the volume at max#I fucking hate it here#and now I don't want to eat the thing I was planning on making but there's nothing else and I'm hungry but also not#and I know I can't do anything else until I've eaten but I just don't wanna idk I'm too upset to eat#I wish I was normal#personal
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@beatingheart-bride
At Emily's earnest praise of his handiwork, Randall blushed and shyly averted his gaze with a shy, humbled smile, while the Gracey's exchanged smiles of their own at this: Given his skill with a needle and thread, and his eye for color and details, Randall ensured that he and his wife were a formidable duo when it came to style, and both Dorian and Elizabeth were delighted to have their oldest and dearest friends as their fashion rivals. All in good fun, of course-especially when it came to holidays like All Hallows Eve.
"Y'know, I'm thinking those are fighting words," Dorian chuckled playfully, as Randall grinned back at him a little, "They just might be! You want to accept that challenge, Dori?"
"Challenge accepted!" the master of the house mirrored the look as he shook his best friend's hand vigorously: While Randall was working hard on his quartet of Addams Family costumes for himself, Emily, and the children (his parents politely declined to join in the theme, instead planning on their own separate costumes), Dorian and Elizabeth had put their heads together and planned on a lavish Egyptian theme for their costumes, a pair of romantic royals entombed together-Dorian wondered if anyone would appreciate their wordplay on the word "mummy"...
But he kept that to himself-it had been a struggle, keeping all of this under wraps (oh dear, it sounded like he'd been spending too much time with Beau again...), but it wouldn't be long before the truth would come out, and both he and Lizzie sincerely looked forward to it. He liked to imagine it would be a much-welcomed surprise when they decided to announce it-he wasn't sure who'd be more excited to hear it, Randall and Emily, or Lon and Erika...
#((it *is* kinda funny; that you go into a maze casually wearing a disney shirt))#((because it was the first shirt on top of the stack in your suitcase and suddenly every scareactor in the place))#((turns into the laser eyes meme and hones in on YOU in particular! it'd be a living nightmare in a lot of ways))#((but i can't help but find a little bit of humor in it all the same! as someone who owns far more universal t-shirts))#((than she does disney shirts; i have no idea if that would make me safer or lead me to being singled out too))#((but either way; you're not wrong about the comparison to 00's screamer prank games!))#((i didn't have super-fast internet growing up; i only had dial-up when i was a kid))#((so i managed to avoid most of those games; BUT one of my dad's friends would send him joke emails))#((and one of them included a maze game that had reagan from 'the exoricst' at the end of it))#((and i started crying when i saw it; since i was standing right beside my dad while he played it))#((and he held me and comforted me and told me it was just a makeup; but still! i was scared as hell!))#((makes it funny that i became an 'exorcist' fan years later honestly!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Two Worlds; One Family
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While I loved the IFYLITA finale and thought it was beautiful and well done, I didn't get misty-eyed. But that single tear dropping from Shiro's eye in WDYEY after looking at folded laundry and an unasked-for thoughtful household purchase wrecked me.
#what did you eat yesterday?#kinou nani tabeta#what did you eat yesterday? s2#My crying trigger is someone-helped-when-they-didn't-have-to-and-it-wasn't-even-necessarily-expected#(especially when it's someone in authority which wasn't the case here but does happen occasionally in this show)#Please do not analyze that too closely#this is not a statement about either show or which is better#just about how broken I am inside lol
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if i see/hear one more person refer to taurus as a “masculine sign” or “the masculine side of venus” i am going to explode into a thousand pieces!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!!! LITERALLY OBJECTIVELY INCORRECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS AN EARTH SIGN RULED BY VENUS AND THE PLACE OF EXALTATION FOR THE MOON IT IS MOTHER GAIA IT IS LITERALLY THE FIRST FEMININE SIGN OF THE ZODIAC WHEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your perception of what femininity means has become so warped and rotten due to social conditioning!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to be sturdy and stable and stubborn in your ways and to have a strong desire to care for and pamper yourself and fill your own cup FIRST so you can nourish others RESPONSIBLY & SUFFICIENTLY and to have a practical approach to your nurturing nature and to be blunt with your boundaries and to be STRONG IS SUCH AN INTEGRAL PART OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE FEMININE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM BEGGING YOU TO REALISE THIS PLEASE
it really truly does have the same connotations to it as when people nowadays call fat women / hairy women “unfeminine” (which is obviously untrue), when this was absolutely not at all how people viewed womanhood in history, and stems from a much more ‘modern’ mindset that’s a direct result of our current social climate. fat + having volume to one’s body used to be seen as a clear indicator of good health and feminine fertility (nourishment => a very taurian trait!) and body hair was literally just so normal (being natural => another trait heavily linked to taurus!!!)
taurus, and every single one of the characteristics connected to the sign/archetype, is feminine >:I
#it used to make me feel so insecure whenever people would imply this because i've struggled with my femininity a lot & i'm a triple taurus#but my struggle with it was definitely caused by my aquarian ascendant... cause i've always FELT very feminine#but constantly worried that i didn't look the part... i used to get bullied very frequently as a kid for being 'unconventional' (aquarius)#which often translated to my physique (being tall & sticking out didn't help) so i had a very unhealthy relationship with my appearance#but i've done a lot of inner work and tended to those wounds for years ;o; and i feel a lot more comfortable in my skin now!!!!#(getting back to a healthy weight definitely helped as well ;w;)#so now whenever i hear people say this stuff i just feel kinda PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!#it's never coming from professional well-educated astrologers either it's always pop culture twitter users and such >:|#''masculine side of venus'' LIBRA!!!! THAT'S LIBRA!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HATE TO HEAR IT YOU REFUSE TO SEE IT BUT IT'S LIBRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#LIBRA IS AN AIR SIGN!!!!!!!!!! AND IT'S EVEN REPRESENTED BY THE SCALES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD IT CANNOT BE ''HYPER FEMININE''#AND YOU KNOW WHO GENERALLY NATURALLY AGREE WITH ME ON THIS?????? TAUREANS /AND/ LIBRANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#IT'S ONLY SHALLOW OUTSIDERS LOOKING IN WHO GENERALLY PREACH THE ''TAURUS = MASC & LIBRA = FEM'' BS#PPL WHO MOST OFTEN HAVE VERY BIASED & TAINTED VIEWS OF THE SIGNS DUE TO THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES WITH SOMEONE OF THAT SUN SIGN#AND WHO ARE ALSO INCAPABLE OF DIFFERENTIATING BETWEEN ''FEMININE + MASCULINE ENERGY'' AND ''GENDER IDENTITY'' (BAD!!! BAD & INCORRECT!!!!!)#WHO'S STEREOTYPICAL VIEW OF FEMININITY EQUALS ''FRAIL & PASSIVE & (SOLELY) RELATIONSHIP-ORIENTED & MARTYRDOM & FRAIL BOUNDARIES''#I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#personal#rant#astrology is very dear to me i'm sorry for venting so much ;v; please excuse the excessive use of capslock as well#i promise it is not my ''extremely AGGRESSIVE and MASCULINE'' taurus placements' fault......................it's the mercury in aries HAHA#edit: i just realised the moon moved into aquarius literally a few hours ago LMFAOOOO EXPLAINS A LOT#of course i'd be going off with this transit
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putting these pages together for no particular reason
#(so i could come back to it later and think of an art idea)#SORRY i need to talk about stuff because aaaaa. ill make a side blog at some point i promise#i know the obvious parallel is ch2 and ch25 when yashiro was crying#especially if you look at it from doumeki's perspective with all his guilt and fear of becoming like his father#but if you shift the perspective to aoi and yashiro then these two work as well#both of them are so resigned to their suffering at this point and don't expect any help but doumeki shows up anyway#even if it was pure chance with aoi he still “saved” her and she tells him that she's able to do what she loves now because of him#and doumeki obviously couldn't have done anything to help yashiro when he was a child. but at least he saved him from hirata#which isn't even about hirata as a person#it's about hirata as this walking manifestation of violent homophobia and a way for yashiro to go through with his suicidal ideations#also. doumeki going to jail for 4 years in aoi's case and him being “forgotten” for 4 years in yashiro's.#he didn't even get to hear yashiro's “you saved me” because he was unconcious. and with aoi he was so focused on his guilt#that he probably didn't think about it this way either. no wonder “your sister was lucky she had you” made him cry#and no wonder he's so bitter and hurt post-time skip#oh doumeki chikara you sure are one of the characters ever (affectionate AND derogatory)
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Actually though that breaks my heart more? Knowing that it wasn't just one period of El's life in which My.st.ra caused them to beget children without their knowledge or consent. She has quite possibly done it many times over El's considerable long life. Maybe even before she birthed the Seven Sisters. All part of a plan to breed potential Chosen and otherwise worthy agents. As well as an eventual plan to groom a successor to El who, though still serving admirably, cannot and should not go on forever.
#OOC / HOLLY.#Mystra critical#this isn't the only time we've seen her interfere with people's potential offspring for her own ends either#like helping to bring Sharantyr; Itharr; and Belkram closer together#and being like 'their future child will be one of my faithful'#honestly it's absolutely revolting that she does this#she's no different than Bhaal in this regard#ugh and then with her own daughter Dove ordering her to marry Florin so they can have a baby who would be Mielikki's Chosen#and there's all of the Sisters' children who aren't exempt from their 'grandmother's' influence I'm sure#ugh my heart is breaking for El all over again#like. they wanted kids. they wanted to be a parent.#but My.st.ra has control over their fertility#finding out that she ostensibly steered them away from having bio kids#only to cause them to have children they didn't know about#EVEN WITH PEOPLE THEY DID NOT WANT CHILDREN WITH#AND GETTING UNDERHANDED AND NASTY ORDERING KHELBEN TO HELP IN ONE INSTANCE#[Khelben looked physically ill afterward the order disgusted him so much]#and then didn't tell them about said kids and they basically had to find out later or by accident etc#just so she could have potential agents like they're game pieces#no I gotta stop I will actually cry over this and everything else El has suffered and how they keep going despite it all#because people need them and their desire to help others outweighs their own anguish and despair#I HATE THIS
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