#and that's fucking valid baby
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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every day we inch closer to the inevitable release of taylor's "all the haters are throwing shade at my relationship but I don't care" music about matty and for that reason I live in fear
#i think she has a pretty warped sense of what is valid criticism and what is just senseless haters#after half a lifetime of criticism for ridiculous things#and i really think that's exactly what she's viewing all this as#like they all want to intrude with their opinions!! but it's just me and you baby!!! our love is stronger than the hate!!!!!!#and the fuck of it all is that because she is my favourite artist i will no doubt love the song on a surface level#whilst also feeling sick to my stomach on a genuine level#talking#taylor swift#ts discourse
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why does every reconciliation fic go like this
#my dc posting#jason todd#red hood#jason todd fanart#ugh i forgot to change tim n dick's skin colours aa i already put my drawing stuff away whatever#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#<- main offenders#no but. jason will be making some absolutely great points#ill be cheering him on like YEAH know ur fucking value good job call them the fuck out dont fall for their shit!!#then there will be one (1) event n suddenly the author pulls a complete 180#all of jason's valid issues n complaints r swept away without ever being solved#at most he's given a few flimsy excuses or justifications#n suddenly hes all happy n dandy w them#like 🤨🤨🤨 what!!!#like nothing changes nobody makes any effort but apparently one sentence going 'omg no it wasnt like that jason 😭' is enough to sweep#everything under the rug#like why have i never read a fic where anyone actually works to change. to right the wrongs theyve done. to apolgoize and do better.#aside form of course jason going 'i see now that murder is wrong i was stupid n angry for no good reason good thing the pit madness has bee#solved/managed better n i have apologized to Poor Little 10yo Baby Tim whom i hurt and traumatized So Badly how will he ever forgive me...'#'fuck my family wtf is wrong w these assholes' 'i killed the joker for like 3 minutes' 'i love you i have no further issues aside from#Teenage Angst which will be cured via being told my anger is disproportional and of course one (1) hug form my Dearest Father'#when will i read someone 'pullin the alfred card' and jason respondin w 'fuck alfred'. he deserves to be an asshole w the way hes treated..#ok ill stop now im just. very done w this stuff
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anyway to end the series on ganondorf tp's writing, my take (which isn't canon but arguable as a valid "death of the author" read imo) is that he is at his most iredeemable AND that's because he has zero things left to lose and no community left and his goal doesn't even make sense anymore he is parasitic and a ghost and pathologically obsessed by his own godlike legitimacy because that is the only thing he still has and it has prolonged his life in a horrible diminished state in a nightmare dimension so SURELY it must mean something right right RIGHT
#thoughts#twilight princess#tp#tp ganondorf#ganondorf#sorry I am quite frustrated by the Discourse#there is a middle ground between evil bad evil bad and uwu baby!!!!!!! and it's the most interesting reading!!!! aaaaaa#even him not mentioning the gerudos being immediately taken as him not caring about them is veeeery frustrating to me#like#imo the three arguable arguments about what happened to the gerudos are#1) they left hyrule because fuck that shit (real and valid) and he would have felt betrayed#2) they collaborated with hyrule to subdue him (??? that seems weird to me but sure why not) and he would have felt BETRAYED#3) they were genocided because they stood by him#and of course we could assume he doesn't care (even if he drapes his execution sword in gerudo patternings which)#(not gonna lie is probably artists not really paying attention to motives but it's still interesting and noticeable)#but wouldn't that be like. deeply traumatic either way.#would you talk about your people to the enemies you hate. would you remind them of what they took from you#in ww they are children and he is old and had time to reflect#in tp he suffered nonstop and then rejected all connection and all community and is feverishly obsessed by what almost was#and they are not children there is no generational thing happening they are all royalties (and link!!! hi link!!) the beef is genuine#and EVEN IF he doesn't care that would at least be a massive wound to his ego#he had an ego collapse followed by a massive ego surge that's literally his canon character arc#so of course he would be weird about the gerudos!! how could he not be weird about the gerudos!!#again we are always assuming lack of interiority by default for ganondorf and that annoys meeeeeee#especially when there could be unbelievably interesting and tragic interpretations from what we get
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This so real omg
#sena talks^#eraserhead#eraserhead baby#he was such a lil pookie bear🥹#“he had colic” ok?? i did too??? soo??#give me a valid point???#spoiler:#how the fuck they stabbed him#i fucking cried so hard#“written and directed by david lynch” yeah no shit#davis lynch love you man
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"I don't know, I can't remember. I just know that when I wake up, I've lost something" PEDRO PASCAL as JOEL MILLER The Last of Us | Episode 6
#my god#his face#but also that line#i just know that when I wake up I've lost something#that at this point he can even accept nightmares#because it's the only way he can see her#because when he wakes up he feels that empty fucking hole bore in his heart#because he lost her#he lost his baby#all he wanted was to be a father#and that was ripped away from him#pedro pascal#this is why I love him as Joel#yes maybe there were actors that were biblically accurate to game Joel#but pedro managed to make you feel for Joel#cry with Joel#because you could see his grief in every moment bleeding through#he made the emotional parts completely his own#gosh I love this man#you are valid if you don't like it or whatever#just stay away#joel miller#tlou#the last of us
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we've learnt for a fact now that tom feels the full range of human emotions towards greg and that he can't let anyone in or he'll die. so how does he express his emotions? the only way he can let himself. he wants to be a specific kind of person, a roy, and how he is feeling and what he wants to do does not fit in with how these people behave. he doesn’t do it because it’s natural. he does it because he has to. he throws insults at it and tries to wrestle it to the ground but it feels weak because his heart isn’t in it.
neither greg or tom are like the roys at their core. they weren’t raised in it. there are moments of real happiness for the two of them when they’re alone and can just be themselves. there's something different in their relationship dynamic here than the relationships the siblings have. it doesn’t feel as bittersweet because they aren’t as fundamentally broken.
tom is more guarded, of course, he’s received some emotional damage from shiv so he always says or does something to keep greg just far enough away. he’s learnt vulnerability is dangerous. every time he tries to show shiv that he loves her she makes him feel like he’s done it wrong. this season he started behaving in a way that would get through to her but that didn’t feel good to him either, didn’t save him from being fired, nothing.
shiv needed the kind of love tom gave her the same way tom needs what greg gives him. but the difference is tom is more capable of accepting love from people he cares about and wouldn’t hurt greg any deeper than a weak insult, even if he could.
tom knows what it’s like to have to beg for someone who is supposed to care about you to do something for you, so when greg asked if he could possibly save him from going to jail he says load me up without a second thought. he cares about greg’s feelings and would sacrifice something of his own for them and it’s this empathy that tom has that the roy family is lacking.
it’s not hard for tom to think to do something for another person for no reason other than it would make that person feel good. no quid pro quo. but even when tom does do something good for greg he 'can’t stand the good feeling he’s engendered' because he feels like he shouldn’t be doing nice things for no reason.
the nero and sporus scene was tom telling greg he cares about him at all and “come with me, sporus?” was the marriage proposal. greg asks what’s in it for him because that’s how greg works and tom has to say “who has ever looked out for you” instead of “i want you with me”. tom cannot let him know the depth of how he feels so he lets greg think he's using him for something and only merely tolerates him, like everyone else does.
and then, because greg still doesn’t get it, or is choosing to ignore it, tom has to yell “not samson! i want you gregging for me!" he still can’t say the real reason why. the only time he’s shown his real emotions to greg is when he’s alone in a room and greg can’t see his face through the phone.
it's not a perfect relationship. it's not supposed to be. that's why it's so compelling. it’s please don't be better than me i can't stand it but i love you. it’s i’m using you to get somewhere in the world but i’ll still look after you even when i don’t need to anymore. (villainfvcker made a great post about this.)
i’m writing this after episode eight, and if they’re going all the way with greg’s transformation into a roy family member and he betrays tom in some way, it will be another case of a succession character destroying the only real connection they have for some kind of power, and regretting it later.
if anything at all, we know tom really does love greg, and that’s a satisfying enough tomgreg endgame for me, personally.
#the show is so ambiguous with people's intentions that it's easy for me to feel validated in this interpretation#tomgreg#tom wambsgans#greg hirsch#i won't be upset if nothing else happens now#my poor stupid babies i love u and am the same as you#i have kind of a neurodivergent read on the both of them so that's where a lot of this behaviour interpretation comes from#they're just trying to fucking fit in dude it's so sad#i had to write all of this down i need it out of my brain so i can think again#succession meta#i love you tom wambsgans
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MADE EDITS i couldn't stop thinking about their outfits and like,, the aspects i liked and thought felt very winx and in line with the individual characters and the aspects i Hated and thought sucked dookie SO i made some edits :)
biggest changes are to musa, aisha, and stella! actually changed the clothes there. flora and tecna i just adjusted the colors (in flora's case to further unwhitewash her and saturate her clothing more and in tecna's case to bring back her pink hair and green and cyan).
explanations on changes below!
I'll start with the simpler edits!
For Tecna, I just wanted to play around with her og colors lol I actually LOVE her new look and I would love to see this be the final design!! It's SO tecna and fits in with the rest of the winx i love it soo much :') I do think they should bring back her pinker hair though! And again, would love to see the green and cyan make an appearance. I feel like neon green is just very classy techy character. And while it is cliche, I do love it akjgd plus I think it looks good on her and makes the other colors stand out more imo! (but maybe this new, pinker look will make people like her more idk :') justice for tecna my beloved :'))
For Flora, I darkened her skin more for obvious reasons. And then I added more saturation to the colors and added back the warmer tones they took out. Imo, the darker, desaturated, and cooler toned look for Flora only works in very specific circumstances. Color theory rainbow!! Bring back the brightness! The color!! The warmth!!
Which brings me to Stella ohmygod,,, please,,,, please stop desaturating her she looks so pale and sick and lifeless STOP please :') Anyway lol, obviously brought back the brighter orange! I also took away the random sleeve. It's cute but it just didn't feel very Stella at the time? The tube top look is Very Classic Stella (very much giving s3 casual but in orange). Tbh, I don't love the dress itself, but I do think it looks better once you add more of Stella's colors. I also tanned her skin more and made her hair more yellow + brighter! Just like with Flora, color theory is important for media!! This Stella design just does Not give sunny, optimistic character. It's giving the gap (aka BORING aljdhg)
Aisha's design stumped me for a bit, I won't lie. I couldn't figure out exactly what I didn't like. But I got it!! One, way too symmetrical imo. Yes, Aisha does have some very symmetrical looks, but like 80% of her looks are very asymmetrical. I also didn't love that it didn't incorporate more of Aisha's powers. It really just went for *vaguely sporty* and didn't try to bring anything else to the table. And some people might say that Aisha's og looks were like that too, but I disagree! They told a story! She's a brave adventurer, a dancer, a princess, etcetc!! This tells me "oh yeah this girl might like to do yoga. cool."
Anyway! So I made Aisha's pants baggier because let's be fucking real for a sec. Changed the design on the pants slightly to make it asymmetrical and incorporated a wave design. Took away that bottom shiny fabric of her shirt. I tried to keep it but it just wasn't looking great with the pants changes tbh. Added small waves to the bottom and made it one shoulder! Also added her classic little circle wave design 1. because it's cute and 2. so Musa wouldn't feel so out of place with a design. Tbh, I still don't love the pants... I think maybe that hem could be higher?
For Musa! I've spoken about this before but I do not like the bodysuit. I liked the concept and the vibe it brings, but it looks So uncomfortable and s1 Musa was alllll about being comfortable. It's why so many people think she hates wearing dresses (even though she doesn't). So I kept the vibe, but changed it to the same mesh that's on her right arm! Which like!! I didn't even see that until I started the edit!! It's so,,, unnoticeable which like,, isn't a bad thing? But also? I think the mesh being on her stomach too makes the design as a whole a little more balanced (and it's a nice callback to her og magic winx!). As for the color changes, really just wanted to go back to her reds and dark blues. I don't Hate the color scheme, but I also don't love it. And I think this feels a lot more like Musa yknow? Also darkened her hair cause fuck that dude
Anyway lol it's not the best edit so don't look too hard :') I just wanted to explore what I liked about the designs and what I didn't. We did get to see a little bit of Bloom's casual, but I want to wait until we get a closer look to speak on it/make edits. Also tbh, I don't really love Flora's outfit but I didn't want to completely redesign her and I concede that this is something she would wear (although it feels more like s4 cowgirl time/s5 casual and not s1 new student time but Fine). For now, I'm gonna pretend the trailer showed us my edit of Stella and not what it really showed. I can't get pale pinterest stella out of my head,,, aggghhhh
#tbh i don't love stella being monochrome that much but trust me the pink wasn't working#as a whole though the goal was to make it feel more like Them and make them feel more individual!!#as others have mentioned.. the constant baby pink is Sooo annoying and it makes them blend together way too much#its not a cohesive vibe its just 'here lets all wear pink for no fucking reason'#but anyway while i don't Love stella being all orange i feel like it doesnt stand out tooo badly thanks to tecna#also again i still really hate aisha's pants :') idk they look SO off to me#the wave was a big brain moment but i fear not even that could save her#i think im gonna do another edit for her later!#anyway. thoughts? comments? concerns?#tbh i am loving seeing all the positivity toward the new outfits#like yes ive seen my fair share of hate but i feel like fans are genuinely looking forward to this#and keeping an open mind even with the things they don't love!#i love that :') we haven't had that in the winx fandom since like.. world of winx maybe... and even that had a lot of hate#because of the whitewashing especially which valid but even smaller things that were just Different#so its really nice to see people so genuinely excited and looking forward to it!! its probably helping the morale at rainbow lol#winx club#mine.edits#mine.art#winx club spoilers#kind of i still dont know if these are Final designs but im going to treat them as such since we're getting closer to the release
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eloise, sweetie, i love you. you’re my babygirl. but keep your fucking mouth shut istg.
#polin is all i have#regé jean page said he won’t ever return (his reasons are valid tho like totally understand)#so no more daphne and simon moments#and we all know that problematic king would bring the drama#anthony and kate are too lovey dovey now it’s honestly kinda boring#like yayyy love but also i need drama i need intrigue i need pining i need yearning#francesca’s heart isn’t really in the game (understable tbh)#who knows what the fuck benedict’s up to#like i’m sorry i stopped keeping tabs on this man in season one#will and alice are my babies. i will protect them with my life. but they’re already in love so… no yearning or pining there really…#eloise is uninterested in the prospect of marriage (honestly good for her. pave your own path bestie.)#so like polin is it for me.#bridgerton#eloise bridgerton#colin bridgerton#polin#penelope featherington
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"What do you want then?"
"To die, buried under the weight of my own gold."
KAZ BREKKER I SWEAR TO GOD TURN OFF YOUR STUPID SASS AND YOUR STUPID ANGST AND KISS THAT BEAUTIFUL LADY
#i love his sass and angst#BUT COME ON KAZ#CHILL OUT FOR A MOMENT AND KISS HER#i know he wanted to later but still#also 100% valid of Inej to have some fucking standards#and him later offering jobs to girls from the Menagerie for Inej I can't#they are my babies#and i'm so sad we didn't get a kiss#THAT SCENE WAS STILL AMAZING THOUGH#AND THE FACT THAT HE'S BEEN SEARCHING FOR HER BROTHER THIS WHOLE TIME#I CAN'T#KAZ BREKKER IS A SOFTIE UNDER THAT STUPID ARMOR#AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR INEJ TO UNDRESS HIM#that took a weird turn#BUT I MEAN WHAT I SAID#kazzle dazzle#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#kanej#shadow and bone#shadow and bone s2#shadow and bone spoilers#shadow and bone season 2 spoilers#sab spoilers#sab#shadow and bone netflix
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People who want to fuck choso are like enigmas to me,,, I cannot for the life of me understand the thought process there I'll be completely honest
#or maybe it's bc I wanna fuck kenjaku and have already decided on him being my step son fjdjdjf#but that is my baby boy little guy baby big brother who is so traumatized and I just wanna swaddle him in a blanket#and tell him it's ok. the grownups are here to help you with your baby brothers you deserve your own life too#idk I love him like a son fjdjfjdj#valid as hell for the rest of you tho I just personally don't get it#also shipping him doesn't make sense to me either#he's too big-brotherpilled eldest-daughtermaxxing to date anyone
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allergy resident today was getting the medical history from me and at the end of it they just kinda sat back and were like "wow I feel kinda bad for you, you really just got like everything"
later asked my allergist if my MCAS was controlled and he just went "ha! no."
#love doctors with zero bedside manner#cut the bullshit nothing they told you in med school will help with this kind of thing#no placating or validating tone is gonna change the fact that i have a poorly contrllled deadly allergy disorder#and i will spend the rest of my life on boatloads of expensive meds#'oh that sucks'#thank you for the helpful remark#its so beyond the realm of most peoples understanding#that they dont know what to say and even when they try it lands nowhere near helpful#cromolyns got fucking hands today#also not thrilled about having to go on this med#my insurance wont cover the xolair without me trying pepcid and singulair first#fun fact in between now and when i last took it singulair has acquired a black box warning for causing depression#feel like that explains a lot about my childhood i was on it for like five years#not a very happy camper today#salt baby talks#ehlers danlos syndrome#chronic illness#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#disability#mcas
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he’s so real 🫡
#the ‘do you think i came over here on a banana boat? 🤨😒’#yeahhhh baby roast that journalist 😈#such a valid answer too - man isn’t trying to fuck up his dinner w friends lol#also credit to twitter for this video (twitter has been feeding me so much tom stuff lately tysm)#tom baker
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trying to lay out my interpretation of why brad and judy are simultaneously awful and really goddamn sad, beyond just having lost their baby under traumatic circumstances as already-traumatized autistic young adults with zero support system left but each other, is wild because it includes in full seriousness the word 'sheepnado'
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#brad chiles#judy reeves#tl;dr they are Like That in large part because pericles fucked them up in a very particular way#that made them dependent on him to give them cues for what to do and validation for the results#and when they suddenly had that ripped away they dealt with it by just making a closed loop where they follow each other in circles#in order to make one semi-functioning adult with a semi-functioning ability to actually choose to set out and do things#nothing else really *matters* to them outside of that fragile closed loop (and christ it is fragile); they set up a steady source of income#and then just fuck off to go effectively be alone together for 20 years; amassing and perfecting a bunch of random skills#because they are both very intelligent in some ways and Need to Stay Occupied; but what else are we gonna do#just aimlessly follow each other in circles and there's no room to actually choose a direction from there#and if anything breaks the closed loop; or doesn't fit into a hesitantly expanded version of it they had in mind#they freak out and they lash out at it even when they're pretending to be cheerful and unaffected#and the only real reason they *did* have to act on caring about something outside that feedback loop before--fred#ended up *being 'sit on your hands and do nothing for 20 years'*; when they are border collies climbing the walls without things to pursue#then suddenly that's gone and they can go care about fred again! except Oops now there is a force influencing them whose entire thing is#'induce artificial craving for Thing.' they try to love fred but they also resent him for being why they spent 20 years with nothing to Do#especially when things are Different now and he's his own person who doesn't really mesh into a closed loop with them; instead of the baby#they could have imagined whatever they wanted about all that time. they are desperately exhausted with caring about fred#and deeply traumatized by having done it; & at this point when a ball is waved in front of them to go fetch that they aren't burned out on#they go 'fuck it sorry kid you come second this time.' and then he *very purposely* cuts ties w/them & therefore any possibility of a loop#and they stop caring completely and lash out instead; especially because the person who fucked them up like this in the first place#has waltzed back into their life and snapped his fingers for them to heel. now they're great tools for his agenda including abusing ricky#'he's a genius right brad' 'my loyal brad and judy' siding w/pericles despite ricky having been a more reliable choice who explicitly treat#them as equals and doesn't constantly insult them and talk to them like pets. and then when something as small as Looking Different breaks#that one last most supposedly dependable loop they had they break down and start lashing out at each other. they 'behave like children.'#there's so much here man. they suck so goddamn bad and they fuck me up. thinking about the oldgang for the rest of my life
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#just saw someone online say they think angel wasn’t close with his mom & didn’t have a relationship with his mom at all#which is a totally valid interpretation/headcanon; absolutely#however my italian ass went ??????????????#knowing how much italian mothers—ESPECIALLY old country traditional italian mothers—not only love their sons#but love the absolute fuck out of their BABY sons#the youngest#the littlest#the baby of the family#is fucking sacred#especially if it is a boy#now obv angel has molly#but he is still by definition the youngest SON#so i’ll be super surprised if his relationship with her is nonexistent#then again who knows how much they’re going to lean into angel’s italian heritage#if they lean into it AT ALL past the mafia#and immigrating to new york#which also raises so many questions like was he born in italy and then moved as a kid to america like so many people did during the early 19#early 1900s????? or did his parents immigrate even EARLIER than that and he was born on american soil???#the very earliest angel could’ve been born based on his age and when he died is 1903#about half of those early immigrants arrived between 1900-1910#so#many questions so many questions#i rly do hope they decide to lean into angels italian roots at LEAST a little#but that’s purely because i am italian#so i’d just love to see some italian-american stuff here#anyway this is just me rambling i have to go to bed#clari chatters
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Lmao one of my friends is getting married in August so the friend group is planning trips etc. and my friend and her partner were thinking of flying into the us and then roadtripping from here (New Mexico) to LA, which I had volunteered to drive for and to take everyone to the Grand Canyon on the way, you know, all that jazz
So they are trying to buy tix from Heathrow to Denver and then not fly here but instead drive which is six hours and I’m kind of like… have yall ever driven for that long before, let alone on the wrong side of the road in a backwards car? Like my American ass did the 5 hour drive from London to wales once, first time doing the wrong car on the wrong side thing, and let me tell you I loooove long driving roadtrips and six hours is literally my preferred length of driving day but that 5 hours s u c k e d oh my god I was so scared the whole time, just white knuckling it the whole way.
They want to spend as many days in Colorado as possible, which is great and all, but still need to come here to meet me and, theoretically, take my truck to LA instead of a rental car. And I just know that if they drive all day to get here they won’t want to do anything the next day because they’ll be exhausted, so we won’t do anything fun and I won’t get to show them around and stuff and then we’ll get right back in the car for two more days. And I get a little irked when people don’t consider that there is, in fact, tourist stuff to do here. Honestly tourist stuff is the only stuff to do in this whole damn state, and where I am is just Colorado Adjacent™️, same damn landscape. but when I moved out here I thought it was gonna be like the Sahara or some shit, so I assume that’s what they’re thinking, and I don’t know how to make it clear to them that they should spend two days here if they intend to drive from Denver so they can see stuff, and if they tell me the kind of stuff they want to see, then I can plan accordingly. Because I think we’ll all be sad if they don’t get to spend any time here, because they’ll get here and go “oh wow it’s actually pretty, I would’ve liked to check it out” and idek? I don’t want to be pushy but may have to be like “listen if you bypass me because you think there’s nothing to do here I will be butthurt about it and feel like I missed out on sharing my new life with you” because I mean I’ve never been to Denver so maybe it’s awesome and they should just stay here but… don’t you want to come crash for free and let me chauffeur you around and go to ruins and tourist traps and national parks and go swimming in beautiful mountain streams and have a ride on my pony? I guess it’s one of those “I would love this, why don’t other people love this” kind of things
#I think it also makes me feel like they are saying- and everyone who didn’t want to come with us too- that#they aren’t interested in seeing what I’m up to and don’t like my lifestyle and maybe that’s not true but it’s what it feels like#I’m not asking you to come meet me in fucking Iowa homeslice it is absolutely fucking gorgeous here in the summer#maybe they’ll end up wanting me to come meet them in Denver and idk I’ve never been and have a cousin there so it’d be worth a visit#but the shortest way to Arizona would then be right back through Santa Fe so that seems stupid to me#blah blah blah I am an oversensitive baby who just wants her friends to approve of her choices and say “this is cool and#we miss you but it’s cool you live someplace like this’#I want that validation because I sometimes really really miss school and I always miss Europe and#I don’t know I just want to play your guide you know it’s really fun to do that for people I love to do that for people#LET ME SHOW YOU MY WORLD ITS WEIRD LETS GO SIT IN A STREAM AND SMOKE WEED
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