mel-kirkland

[mel-kirkland]

Dear Pro-lifers A Modest Proposal,

Hi! Big fan of your protests, wish I had that many friends willing to hang out on parliament hill with signs for the stuff we want to get done, and have people keep a good 20 foot radius around us the whole time.

I would just like to tell you that you’re most likely a hypocrite.

Yes I’m sure you’ve heard that, many times, just like how I’m told I’m a monster. However, hear me out on this one.

You need to stop eating. Just, no more food, like water I guess is good still, that meat that science made in a lab - you can eat that. Fruit? Do you know what fruit is?

Okay so plants- or fruit bearing ones at the least reproduce with flowers and pollen. This is fairly basic, pollen is the plant equivalent of sperm, and the rest of the flower acts like a uterus, with the human egg and then incubating the stuff that is going to become the fruit, and the seeds. 

While there’s some argument over what exactly the fleshy part of fruit we eat it is agreed that by taking that fruit, lets say apple, and eating it, you are killing the apple trees fetus.

Yes, the F-Word. Fetus, fetus, fetus. However from what I’ve seen you guys prefer the term Baby, Life, or Potential Cancer Curer. So tree babies. You kill and eat tree babies, really plants babies. Those fruits and vegetables could have grown into plants. Whole plants! and those plants could have gone onto make more plants.

Can you see your own hypocrisy, if human life cannot be terminated then why should any other life form be different. Not the mention what we do with birds, not only could those eggs you ate at breakfast have been fertilized and made more chickens, the eggs from more free range, open area, or just plain reckless farms could be fertilized. Not to mention Balut, fertilized duck eggs - 14-21 days that are boiled and eaten often with beer.

And when you think, just about everything we eat has the possibility of growing into something more, or otherwise creating life.

And so I promise that if you stop eating you can have my, and the worlds respect, hell, if you all stop eating I’d be fine with abortions being further restricted.

Oh! But now you scream. And wail. And cry.

For if one does not eat they will die before their third fortnight. Starvation, death, it would be inevitable.

Then I ask. Has it occurred in your mind that human pregnancy can have fatal complications, that terminating those pregnancies are the way way for the mother to survive, and than be able to someday possibly give birth safely, to a healthy happy child.

People have died when they have been pressured into not taking appointments for their abortions. And then rather then a fetus who wasn’t viable being the one lost, both mother and child are gone.

Not to mention the mental harm, and the general physical trauma of forcing a young girl, 12, 13, 14, who was raped, the time missed from school, the fact she would become a social pariah.

However, again, of course, if you all stop eating I will stop fight you.

Signed, with the utmost sincerity,

A person once laughed for ten minutes at a pro-lifer’s idea of what a fetus looks like before having  a nice half hour-ish conversation with him on his own personal philosophy. No idea where he is now, perhaps he is still there, on Parliament Hill in Ottawa with his incorrect signage.

[mel-kirkland]

[mel-kirkland]

[mel-kirkland]

[mel-kirkland]

One empty shelf! Just 2 more to go...

[mel-kirkland]

First half hour of sorting my 500+ books done

[mel-kirkland]

Six Eggs

I feel the need to preface this.  While not really a super Disney child there were two things I loved, Beauty and The Beast, and a sing-along VHS with Belle’s opening song, I have watched that song and heard it about 200 times.

Thus when I kept seeing the analisis of Ganston eating all the eggs in the town, thus causeing a shortage for ladies with 5 children (yes I’ve counted) causeing them to be too expensice, this come from the subtiles that seem to put the line “I need six eggs” with the same  line as “that’s to expensive”, and I found this weird as I never though of those two lines going togehter, as the woman had a very high voice and the second bit is very deep, and while this could be the man selling them telling her she can’t afford them, it sounds weird, so wierd linglisticly.

So I whent though at 1/15 speed, and you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT? THe thing that’s to expensive is a GOD DAMN POT. A man in the background says a ceramic pot is to expensive, you can see him for like a second, and his mouth is clearly in sync with the words. Does Gaston eat to many eggs, yes, there’s about seven ways he should be dead from all those eggs, but a medium sized farm could well support his habbits.

So in concluson, Gaston is a dick, but her wasn’t killing poeople with his egg consumtion directly.

[mel-kirkland]

Prof: Name one thing that would change in Shakespeare’s Hamlet if it was set in modern times. Ravenclaw: Hamlet would probably be listening to My Chemical Romance between monologues.

[mel-kirkland]

The holidays are upon us! Celebrate by substituting the words to your favorite carols with these decidedly more Shakespearean verses. 

Be sure to check out my other Shakespearean Christmas Carols: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

I’m taking the next week off, but look forward to being back here with you as we stagger into 2018 together! Happy holiday(s) of your choosing!

[mel-kirkland]

School didn't have a copy of Titus Andronicus, I made my own, and got on 13 a4 sheets at that.

[mel-kirkland]

Found this door at my schools earth and space science room. Someone did try

[mel-kirkland]

The box has pointy Christmas Village pieces in it..., cat’s been sleeping in it for over an hour...

[mel-kirkland]

28 Word Sentence

In first grade it was drilled into us for some reason that EVERY sentence you write Must have the same number of words as you are old, 7 words from a 7-year-old, and because I was in first grade, I just thought that was always the rule, like I thought that 60 year-old’s had to quite 60 words for a proper sentence.

Before I got this fixed I was writing fiction on my own, and wanting to follow that sentence rule I favoured longer sentences, I’d check word count averages and actually looked to combine several sentences into one. Every English teacher, every History teacher, I’ve had in the past 5 years has complained, and marked me down because my sentences still avarge 28 words. I write good monologues, and stream of consciousness stuff, but I’ve gone through and found a page long paragraph in my final essay is 2 sentences. Congrats School, you did it, my sentences aren’t too short.