#and that was incorrect 🙃

[bittersweetblasphemy]

of course my fibro meds would run out and i would need a new script and my doctor would take too long to refill it literally on a day it rains

[dead-arcane-detectives]

Charles: Mate, can I borrow your jacket?

Edwin: Your tongue’s been in my mouth, please refrain from calling me mate.

Charles: Sorry, my mistake.

Charles: *clears throat, leaning close in to edwin* Baby, sweetheart, cutie, can I, the love of your afterlife, please borrow your jacket before I freeze to death again?

Edwin: *blushing with averted gaze while handing charles his jacket* mate is fine.

[justanotherfangirlwup]

Tomura: GOD. how many times do I have to say I'm sorry?!

Y/n: just once

Tomura: ...

Tomura: no.

[ghost-of-christmas-present]

Matthias: what does mlm mean?

Inej: men loving men :)

Kaz: multi level marketing

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Chloe: When I want your opinion, David, I will ask for it. And I will never ask for it, you prick!

[sugar-bi-scuit]

Xie Lian: Guys it’s a shooting star, let’s make a wish!

Hua Cheng: I wish for all of Gege's wishes to come true.

Mu Qing: Simp.🙄

Hua Cheng: Never mind, I wish upon the shooting star to fall down at a 30° velocity aiming for Mu Qing. .)

Xie Lian: San Lang…🥲

[lostinthewoodsomewhere]

I'm in a writing kind of mood, having many thoughts, so here's a little thing from a Jesse and Alan thing I'm working on if you're interested, cause I've been thinking about it again...🫡🙃🫡

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Faden shifted in her seat a little, mouth turning down just a fraction.

“Wake, there are certain… tests that my staff want to carry out, regarding your relationship with the shaded presence” she began, and Wake had expected this, of course he had, though he hadn’t quite expected this reaction.

“You seem uncomfortable with the idea” he said, and Jesse all but snorted.

“You could say that, yeah. Look, I’m no stranger to tests, God knows Emily has put me through enough since becoming Director, but I always fully understood what I was getting into. I just… I wanted to make sure that you knew as well, before you agreed to anything”.

“You don’t need to be so worried about me, Director”, he replied, which earned him a little frown, “I hurt a lot of people trying to get out of the dark place. Some invasive testing is probably the least I can endure to make up for it”.

It had obviously been the wrong thing to say, as Faden’s expression turned sharp, raw in a way he hadn’t seen from her yet, so fixated that she was on playing the role of Director.

“Don’t, Wake. I won’t pretend that I understand everything that’s happened, hell maybe you do deserve some retribution, I don’t know. What I do know, is that’s not my, or my staff’s decision to make. I’m not going to lock you up and hurt you Wake, not going to force you into things that are uncomfortable. I need your word that you will tell us to stop if you get uncomfortable, that you’re not going to just let us do whatever because you think you deserve this. If you want some divine retribution to make yourself feel better, that’s fine, but you’re not getting it from me”.

Alan studied her again, not quite sure what he was looking for. This point was important to her, and he should know why, but it wasn’t coming to him just yet. He tried to conjure up every concept of Jesse Faden in his mind to make sense of her. Words flashed in his brain, Director-Leader- Parautilitarian-Receiver-Guiding Star-

Sibling.

[padawansuggest]

Obi-Wan: when you tryina have a romantic moment in the rain but the kids followed you both out to ask what’s for dinner :/

Cody: It’s okay, if we ignore them Waxer and Boil will realize the kitchen is quiet and they forgot to lock the baby gate.

Wooley: *looking up at the sky with eyes squinted shut right behind them* I think I’m going blind it hurts to smell!

Cody: *panicking and turning to shove Wooley’s head down* Don’t breathe in the water, that’s how you die!

Obi-Wan: *deep sigh as he lets a set of cadets and Padawan Reva climb into his robes shivering like little idiots* It’s not an act of maliciousness, they just consider the rain comforting; it’s not an act of maliciousness, they just consider the rain comforting-

Cadet: Da, are you talking to yourself?

Obi-Wan: Yeah, baby, it’s time for my hourly prayers. Let’s go back inside.

[laismoura-art]

Hanzo: Why is Kuai lying face down on the floor?

Kenshi: Oh, he took one of those "which MK character are you" quizzes.

Hanzo: Who did he get?

Kenshi: You.

Hanzo: lol

Kuai has nothing against Scorpion, he just would rather be Sub-Zero🙃

[nattikay]

“hufwe instruments” SYE'OTXANG, THE WORD YOU’RE LOOKING FOR IS SYE'OTXANG 😭

[sansfangirl24]

Izuku picks up a phone: Kacchan get me principal nezu!

Bakugo: *dials Nezu*

Izuku: thank you kacchan :3

[ddarkcrown]

B: Gosh, this is all I've wanted all spring. You, only you. Your lips on mine. You, touching me. Us, together, alone. I wanna kiss you all over, I wanna-

J: Can you shut up and get on with it?

bojere week day one - first hookup

[v88sy]

Buck, while sitting in the back of the ambulance as Chim and Hen check him out after getting bonked on the head trying to save a prison full of bees from a huge plane disaster that requires multiple firehouses to report: But I wanted to make our fire trucks kiss!!

Hen: Ok, so definitely a concussion.

Buck: No! I meant I wanted to kiss spy Tommy in between the fire trucks, just like Mom and Dad did!

Chim: Um, Tommy isn't even here, Buckaroo. In fact, I haven't seen him for months. I'm starting to wonder if he's even alive. That's just the 217. Or Harbor. Maybe both.

[pokemon-radical-red]

Another day, another “haha man get pregnant isn’t that hilarious?” trend popping up on my damn TikTok FYP.

The joke here—just in case anyone can’t tell—is that a man can’t get pregnant, so the punchline is the idea of a situation in which a man could get pregnant. Isn’t that hilarious, guys? The idea that someone who’s a man could get pregnant? So funny /s.

(Also, before anyone points out “can’t not” and tries to say that actually it’s affirming and agreeing that men can get pregnant, you can tell from the context that the intent is obviously not that, and it’s just the whole ‘funny when I mess up my words’ humor. If he’s saying that he can get pregnant, then the Impregnator Guy would agree with him.)

[501st-rexster]

Incorrect CANON Coruscant Guard Quotes

Thorn: You seem a bit more upbeat recently, Fox.

Fox: Thanks, I've gotten better at hiding my depression.

[aliciavance4228]

Aphrodite would've loved Catherine the Great's furniture.