#and that is SO FUCKING COOL to me like holy shit look at me go!! :DD
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giving inexperienced!matt head for the first time . | ( female!r ) wc ?? ( masterlist )
matt's sitting at the edge of the bed, hands gripping the sheets so tightly his knuckles are white. his chest rises and falls in shallow breaths, and he’s trying so hard to keep his cool, but it’s not working.
"you’re shaking," you tease softly, kneeling between his legs, your hands resting lightly on his thighs. pulling his sweats down as you look up at him.
"i’m not," he argues, but his voice wavers, betraying him. he glances down at you, his cheeks flushed, his lips slightly parted as he tries to figure out what to do with himself.
"relax, matt," you murmur, after having pulled his boxers down to his mid thighs, the cold air hitting his skin making him shudder. "just let me take care of you."
his jaw tightens, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he exhales shakily. "i don’t-i mean, i’ve never-"
"i know," you cut in gently, leaning in closer, your breath ghosting over his skin. "just tell me if it’s too much, okay?"
he nods quickly, his hands twitching against the sheets, unsure where to put them. the tension in his body is almost palpable, but when your lips press against his skin, soft and warm, his whole body jolts like he’s been shocked.
"oh, fuck," he breathes out, his head falling back as his grip on the bed tightens.
you smile against him, your movements slow and deliberate, giving him time to adjust. his reactions are unfiltered- every gasp, every shaky exhale, every quiet whimper spills out of him like he can’t hold them back.
"you’re so sensitive," you murmur, looking up at him. his face is a picture of vulnerability: eyes squeezed shut, brows furrowed, his lips parted as soft, broken moans escape.
"i can’t-" he stammers, his voice barely above a whisper, his hips shifting involuntarily. "it’s, oh god, too much—"
but he doesn’t stop you. he doesn’t pull away. instead, his hands leave the sheets and find your hair, trembling fingers threading through it, unsure if he’s guiding you closer or holding on for dear life.
"you’re doing so good," you reassure him, your voice steady and calm, even as his breaths grow more erratic.
he lets out a choked moan, his thighs trembling under your touch. "i can’t—i’m gonna—"
you don’t stop, your pace steady, hands and lips wrapped around his length, coaxing him toward the edge. his whole body tenses, his hands tightening in your hair as his voice breaks into a desperate, breathy whimper. his hips involuntarily bucking up, in rythm with each movement of your hands.
when he finally lets go, it’s like every ounce of tension leaves him at once. his body goes slack, his chest heaving as he struggles to catch his breath, his head lolling forward to look at you through half-lidded eyes.
"holy shit," he murmurs, voice shaky, a dazed, almost shy smile creeping onto his flushed face.
💬 : credits to whoever did this idea first ,, i can't find it rn !!
🏷 : ( @emely9274 ; @bluestriips ; @loveparqdise ; @st4rcs ; @starwebber9 ; @conspiracy-ash ; @sweetrelieef ; @chris-hallelujah ; @leoslaboratory ; @matttsangel ; @awnmaneez ; @heartss4clauu ; @mattsstarlet ; @madisturni ; @marrykisskilled ; @inspiredangel ; @mattsdemi ; @sturnioloangell ; @ivyandthebeans ; @amelia-sturniolo3 ; @dominicfikeenthusiast ; @sophand4n4 ; @ch6rm ; @et6rnalsun; @sturniolossss ; @jetaimevous )
#sturn777☆#matt☆#matthew sturniolo fanfic#matthew x reader#matt x y/n#matt x you#matt x reader#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matthew x y/n#matthew x you#matthew sturniolo fluff#mathew sturniolo#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo smut#smau#chris sturniolo smut#christopher sturniolo smut#sturniolo smut#the sturniolos#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo series#nick sturniolo#inexperienced#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#fanfic#chris x reader
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Remind me to draw more Papyrus stuff in regards to driving because. WOW I'VE HAD A FUCKING DAY AND I NEED HIM TO SWEAR AND SCREAM AND HAVE MURDEROUS INTENT IN HIS EYESSSSSSS
#Roddy rambles#Do I. have a rambling tag for posts like this on here????????#...I do now cause I NEED TO VENT#Cause earlier today I needed to pick up my partner's little brother#and I see this guy on my left at the fucking. turn thing where he'd turn into the lane I'm in?#and he stops! he stops and he's waiting#and I register that in my brain like yes ok cool no one's coming from there. And I look ahead of me and I glance to my passenger#And as I'm looking back my passenger SCREAMS because the guy on the left suddenly speeds up and cuts in front me#it's supposed to be a 20 zone and it's slick and I manage to stop but like. holy shit had I not seen him or had she not yelled#There would've been a wreck. It was my right of way but ok fine whatever we're ok I can shake that off! I'm grateful to be ok!#BUT THEN JUST EARLIER I HAD TO DROP TWO KIDS AT A FUCKING... PLANET FITNESS????#And as I'm driving on a like. 30-40 road I'm on the left side cause I need to turn at the light#And there's one car that's going the opposite way that needs to turn and go across the road? and there's another car-#-that is coming from my right that's trying to turn the other way. I dunno if I'm explaining this well but they're both trying to cross-#-over the lanes and in front of me#and the guy on the right goes and he has time to make it. but he doesn't#He suddenly stops IN FRONT OF ME BLOCKING MY LANE?????#Doesn't even pull into the spot where he can wait??? to get on the main road?????????????#And he finally fucking moves. BUT THE OTHER CAR DOES THE SAME FUCKING THING ARE YOU SERIOUS???????#Needless to say I am. exhausted I'm so fucking pissed I want to cry I want to scream. I want to laugh! Because I'm so happy nothing happene#But HOLY FUCK dude. FUCKING WHAT???? WHY DOES EVERYONE DRIVE SO FUCKING STUPID AFTER IT RAINS????????#IT WASN'T EVEN RAINING ANYMORE IT'S JUST A LITTLE WET FUCK
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is there a name for those people who are like "I love games that explore feminity 😍" but "feminity" to them is just like........birth and the patriarchy
#gu6chan's musings#bonus points for phrases like 'girlboss' or fucking 'visceral feminity' i know its going to be a hot pile of steaming shit when i see it#and like don't get me wrong these are perfectly good themes!!! i adore them myself but like holy shit lol#SURELY there's something else to 'what it means to be a woman' otherwise this is all just a big circle lmao#like i love silent hill 3; bloodborne... looks cool idk anything about it but the fans are so insufferable for this reason like omg#like YES these are huge controlling factors into women and their lives and YES; what 'defines' a womans life in large part but have you#considered that there are other factors that 'make' feminity and womens lives' that aren't these things. like idk maybe they're more than#their relationship with men and their fucking biological systems
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kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)
#guys i have worth??? im actually a human being deserving of basic respect and SHOULD be apologised to if i am not given that??? holy shit#ok but like i actually was pretty mad and i just wasn't going to talk to them when the weekend ended but to think they'd actually apologise#guys i am a friend worth apologising to omg this is so nice#(<- was fuming over how i was a “friend” not even worthy of her basic decency and respect an hour ago)#LIKE IM STILL MAD#okay i actually cant vaguepost to save my life but basically this girl whos a friend i recently got close to and formed a friendgroup with#shes really fucking whiny and ive been tolerating it for so long but on friday she was extremely whiny and rude whenever i just asked a#simple question#and it's really draining and humiliating to be spoken to like poop on the sidewalk in front of other people#but anyway other than that i was really upset because during pe i wanted to show her my hip injury cuz i thought it was funny#(it wasn't diagnosed yet i just felt my joints moving weirdly)#and like that involves her putting her hand on my hip#so i asked her to do that then she started whining about how she doesn't want to touch me and that i'm weird for asking ppl to touch me#then she started telling like the 3 other ppl around us i was weird and wanted ppl to touch me#then this other cool girl overheard and looked at us funny i guess cuz then the friend said 'haha now [cool girls name] is also laughing'#i was so fucking embarrassed and humiliated i still want to tear up thinking about it#like are you actually my friend wtf i don't even need enemies w a friend like you#i wanted to cry so bad then#ugh i hate it#like you couldve just said no thanks bro what is ur problem#this just made me realise how much i hate how she talks to me sometimes#and i know i need to stop surrounding myself with negative vibes in order to feel happy#but its still so frustrating#we were doing so well the other day and google meeting everyday#then this happened and then she got mad and started ignoring me on the way home#bro idk i hate ts i should just stop making friends#rant
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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Fuck dysphoria, dresses are the coolest shit ever and I need to start wearing them more
#i wont because i dislike my body but right now i can believe#i love dresses. the aesthetic is so lovely and cool and i just want to look nice in a dress#im wearing one right now as i type this post#because its part of my ren faire outfit. in addition to a cute corset belt thing#so i wanted to try them on together and holy shit#i look really hot#i own dresses i just never like my body enough to wear them which is tragic#im stepping outside of my comfort zone with this ren faire outfit quite a bit#mildly related but i need to cut and dye my hair again. and im not dyeing my hair a fun color just going back to natural brown#im in hell about it but i have a job interview tomorrow so i need to look normal. and my hair is getting scruffy and needs a trim#wish me luck in the interview bcuz i actually want the job#its at my old workplace (a big grocery store) but i used to be a bagger. the interview is to be in the deli#i love a nice kitchen job. kitchen is my ideal work environment#i should probs be okay because they remember me from when i used to work there. but still#but back to the dress. fuck i look cool. fuck i wish i was more comfortable with my body. i got hit with body image issues and dysphoria#double the fucking problem when i want to look nice#i love being nonbinary but i know if i want to look cute in a dress then ill only be seen as a woman (moreso than usual)#curses and drats. but its whatever
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subtitling videos is a Not Fun Task however it gets less sucks after i get into it and i do actually enjoy the rest of the editing process, specifically getting to add in little quips and sidenotes in some places. one of my favorite things about making things entirely by myself primarily for myself with no incentive to leave out the stuff i enjoy is that nobody can stop me from infodumping about lodestones in the corner text because it's my video and I do what I want, bitch.
Read My Text (if you want), Boy
#ray's tag#project: nexus#the joy of creation outweighs the horrors of having to put actual effort in most of the time. life aint all fuck#im really proud of myself for getting this far into the series by the way!!! ive never done anything like this before and i fully expected#myself to burn out a really short time in especially since doing this takes way more work than i initially expected.#but im doing it!!! im taking my time and putting in time and love and care and effort!!!#and that is SO FUCKING COOL to me like holy shit look at me go!! :DD#undescribed
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Wonder Woman #12
Variant Cover by Julian Totino Tedesco
#im in a hating on the sword + shield mood today but i like the gravity of this cover#shes going to war but its a solemn affair. she understands the consequences and what is about to happen and is saddened by the necessity#that calls for it#imo the best cover for this issue#like the fornés one looks cool as FUCK im not going to lie to you all. holy shit. but her not having the lasso there and instead having the#massive sword and shield unfortunately pisses me the fuck off. so i cant endorse it as diana. even though its fucking insane to look at.#hot damn.#the sampere cover looks rlly good this time too. its a simple fact that his art is always fire though even when the writing and events#depicted make me mad#at least the sampere cover has diana with her lasso in the absolute power suit UNLIKE SOME PPL (dan mora)#and uh the less we say abt the other covers the better. especially (mainly) the swimsuit one. bc what the fuck.#why are we doing swimsuit variants again and also diana doesnt even look good in it ugh#diana of themyscira#ignore the tags its mostly me complaining lets just talk abt how i like this cover#wonder woman#still feel the aversion to the sword/shield convo esp bc im in a mood abt comics atm but i like the gravitas#shes heading to battle but mourns that there needs to be one in the first place
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Started crying over the Batman Beyond Animated Movie concept art. I am so normal.
#do they want my left or right kidney? they can have that one and my appendix as I don't need those to survive#I'm saving my uterus for Silksong if it needs more funding. I'm not gonna use it so might as well.#/j#about selling my organs not about crying over Batman Beyond Animated Movie#I think a Batman Beyond Animated Movie could fix me. Or make me even more autistic about it. probably both.#Batman Beyond is what got me into Batman. it was the only Batman related thing my library had and I thought it looked cool#so I would just watch Batman Beyond for like 5 hours minimum every day during my surgery recovery#so if you're wondering why I am like this...that's why. Batman Beyond did it. it's still my comfort media and i always go back to it#THAT ONE IMAGE OF INQUE CHASING TERRY?? OH MY GOD IT'S SO GORGEOUS#oh my god I am so ordinary and neurotypical#THE FUCKING PRODUCTION DESIGN GUY ON SPIDERVERSE POSTED THEM??#sav eme Batman Beyond Animated Movie#it will fix me I promise#if it is made I will forgive Bruce Timm for his weird thing for Batman x Batgirl.#SPIDERVERSE OF BATMAN MOVIES?? OH MY GOD#Derek Powers on my movie screen#THE SHIT THEY COULD DO WITH SHRIEK??? HOLY FUCK#I hope to god they still have the cold open on old-man Batman (world-weary and brittle-boned) almost shooting somebody in a panic#because THAT is the only compelling reason I have ever seen for Bruce leaving behind the mantle#I love content where its like 'oh when he gets older he becomes the Alfred to a new Batman' or 'he'll retire because Gotham will be better'#but I'll be honest. I do not think Bruce is capable of retirement. I do not think he would ever hang up the mantle willingly#unless he almost became the very kind of person who got his parents killed: a gun-wielding coward. the pain in his eyes.#I could see that. Bruce realizing that he is incapable of being Batman. That he will do more harm for Gotham than good.#if they don't want it to be the opener that's fine. but I want that damn scene.#ajdfl;dksajfl;kjdsfl;kadjskl;fjds Terry my friend Terry on my movie screen#I am going to explode
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Went to a con today it was soooooooo cool so much fun holy shit. Big reminder how much I love you cons I love you cosplayers I love you furries I love you vendors I love you artists of all kind who put all their heart into what they make I love you vendors I got to talk to in depth and who were so nice and thoughtful to interact with
This was such a good day
#comic cons are genuinely the best place to people watch imo#I wish I took more picture because there were so so so many cool cosplays holy shit#I got such cool stuff#and I don’t know if he was doing this w other ppl#but there was one gender#I just sat talking to for a bit and looking thru his art and complimenting#it because it was amazing genuinely#and at the end he just gave me a print. like huh??? dude thank you#he might’ve been doing it w others idk#sorry I just fucking love comic cons I meet the coolest people there#one of these days I’m gonna go in an actual cosplay I swear#The Crab Speaks#I rly want to go tmrw and maybe get an authograph#but I want to do an art piece tonight and get that signed#maybe. they might not even be there tbh but it would be so so so cool
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just finished watching all of ash coyote’s furry documentaries and ive never wanted to wear a fursuit more in my life than in this moment 👉👈
#its something ive thought about a lot but i just need to make myself a proper fursona first. i think i wanna be a cool tiger or a sheep#still havent decided but a tiger fursuit would go crazy actually#i was thinking something like that one rainbow kougra i see running around here every once in a while like holy fuck it looks amazing#also very much in love with the idea of cosplaying toriel cause everything about her existence speaks to me on a deep and personal level#and i wanna be her so bad… i wanna be a big fuzzy huggable presence 24/7!!!!!#going back to the documentaries tho. they are made with so much love and i appreciate that it touches topics FAR beyond the#problematic shit and actually focuses on the people who make this community so wonderful#theres so many videos out there covering furries thats just some dude making fun of them every 10 seconds and you can tell it doesnt come#from a genuine place of curiosity and its more like hehe hey guys check out this cringy thing this FURRY did point and laugh#anyways the majic records episode was my favorite and i hope those guys are thriving rn#diary
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WHAT. THE FUCK J7ST HAPPENED. WHAT IS HAPPENING .?
#PERSONA 5 ENDGAME IS UH. NOT QUITE WHAT I EXPECTED ILL TELL U THAT MUCH#this plotline is............. hilariously and horrifyingly familiar#ive seen like. literally none of this. i knew vaguely that the twins were one but the rest of this ?????????????????.#p5#....................... lots of things just happened#wasnt expecting this direction but they made joker look cool as fuck for it tho#WAIT BITTERSWEET ENDING CANCELLED I JUST HEARD JUNPEI ZEROESCAPES VOICE ????? HEY BUDDY WHATS UP#oh shit its christmas when they do this . i wasnt even looking at the date#what is akira so funny for. love this guy#him n Futaba teaming up on Sojiro is so good i love this family ..........#oh shit we skipped some days now. somethin bigs coming aint it#aww mishima :')#holy shit we skipped a LOT of days now#ok valentines day just shoots right at u huh. hi ryuji#ty for the cheap chocolate king 👍#woahhh even more days going by. fuck that whole month i guess goddamn#YUSUKE GAVE ME HIS PAINTING??#bro........... :')#'keep that smile of yours. i'll capture it in my artwork someday' bro .............................. 0(-(#god these kids. yall are just gonna drive him out there huh#ohmuyvdkdjbsjxhs couldnt leave without one last solid fuck u to the cops. sobbing i love them#ouhgh.#akira u silly that is Not how u sit safely in a moving vehicle.#so um. how do i do the third semester or whatever that is ?#new game + time i guess!!!!!#lmao ok yea the requirements are exactly what i thought theyd be . rip i kinda forgot maruki existed half the time so he was like rank 3#shouldnt be too hard to get all that now that i dont need to worry abt social stats. OH AND I GET TO TALK BACK BC OF THAT TOO#oh this rules i love when ng+ keeps almost literally everything
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After looking through every current bndori and sekai bday card with my sibling I must say. I don't typically like making definitive judgements on one of them being better at smth than the other but the way that even the pretty good but not amazing bndori bday cards are better than literally every sekai bday card by a Landslide boggles the mind
#rat rambles#band posting#sekai posting#dont get me wrong. bndori bday cards have their duds. in fact they have a lot of them imo#but. holy shit are even the best sekai bday cards just nothing compared to the just pretty alright bndori bday cards#and compared to the actual good good bndori bday cards? not even fucking close they make the sekai cards look like fucking Nothing#generally I think comparing the games cards is kinda unfair since their best cards go for different things usually#but with their bday cards. yeah I cant be that nice sekai bday cards are all just eh at best Im sorry#mafuyu honami and kohane's first bday cards are the closest they get to being good and even then#for the first batch the big problem is the lighting#in fact this is a big problem in a lot of bndori's first batch too#but the soft lighting is just so overwelming in almost all of the first batch sekai cards it ruins any cool color contrast they do go for#and dont get me started on the current batch. please this theme could have been so cool but instead they just did. that.#like ur allowed to do more poses bestie
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an open fly walking
i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now
TG: hey karkat
CG: YEAH?
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TG: you ever noticed you like
TG: walk weird
CG: WOW, OKAY.
CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?
TG: pff
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TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity
TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but
TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man
CG: I DO???
TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault
TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale
TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity
TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it
CG: SERIOUSLY?
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TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but
TG: yeah
CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.
TG: im not fucking with you striders honor
TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything
CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.
CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.
TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me
CG: ON IT.
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TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude
CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.
TG: dont your feet ache
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CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.
TG: damn i didnt think that through
TG: my shades
CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.
TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with
TG: ugh
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TG: guess its karma
CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?
TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor
TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing
TG: just conjecture i mean
CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.
TG: yeah probably
CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.
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TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets
TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot
CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.
CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.
CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".
TG: well look at it this way
TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass
TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol
CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.
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TG: also screw this can i use your shirt
TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up
TG: i cant see dick
CG: UH
CG: SURE, I GUESS.
TG: cool
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TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right
TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night
CG: YEAH.
CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.
CG: BUT
CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.
TG: see yeah i sound it off and
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TG: wait really?
CG: YEAH
CG: I DON'T KNOW
CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.
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CG: IT'S LIKE
CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.
CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.
TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing
CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.
TG: you think thatd be heroic or just
CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.
CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?
TG: hah
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TG: but uh
TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth
CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.
CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.
TG: oh
CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.
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TG: heh
TG: well get this
TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free
TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues
TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time
TG: take that and some of this
TG: im packin punches
CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!
CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.
CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.
TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here
===
CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?
TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given
TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool
CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.
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Imagine Mc having a rough day and snapping at the brothers when the dining table gets a little to loud, but instead of just yelling at them as a group they go down the list oldest to youngest,
Like this,
Mc, shooting up from their seat at the dining table: HOLY SHIT SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL OF YOU.
The brothers all stop whatever argument they were having in shock,
Mc, pointing at lucifer: STOP BEING STUCK UP AND GIVE YOUR BROTHERS SOME BREATHING ROOM
Mc turns to mammon: STOP DIGGING THROUGH MY WALLET I AM JUST AS BROKE AS YOU. YOU WILL NOT FIND ANYTHING I PROMISE YOU THAT.
Mc, Now pointing at Levi: IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD ABOUT “nOoOo iM jUsT a YuKy OtAkUu” WHEN I TRY TO SAY SOMETHING NICE WILL STRANGLE YOU. JUST TAKE A COMPLIMENT!
Satans turns: WE ALL HAVE DADDY ISSUES HERE DEAL WITH IT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AND HAVE AN ATTRACTION TO FICTIONAL MEN INSTEAD OF TRYING TO ALWAYS CURSE LUCIFER! IT ALWAYS LEADS TO ALL OF US GETTING CURSED AS A WHOLE. SO DROP THE SPELL BOOK.
Mc turning to asmo: NOT EVERYTHING IS A SEXUAL INNUENDO. GET PENIS OFF YOUR MIND FOR FIVE MINUTES! I KNOW YOU ARE CAPABLE OF IT DONT LIE TO ME!
Mc turns to beel, skips beel,
Turns to belphie: AND YOU.
They drop their tone,
Mc: you know what you did.
By the end all the brothers are sunken down in their seats and/or look absolutely baffled at the sudden outburst, Mc steps away and shoves their chair back into place as they start storming out,
Lucifer: I- Mc where are you going?
Mc: Purgatory hall! Because even the CHILD doesn’t act as childish as all of YOU!
Of course after they cool off they do return and apologize for their outburst and how they should have just addressed their issues more calmly and not while they were all trying to eat,
#obey me#obey me mc#obey me mammon#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me leviathan#obey me lucifer#obey me belphegor#obey me satan#obey me one master to rule them all#obey me imagines#obey me shitpost
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Sea Cryptic! Danny Pt.6
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]
Danny slumped over the table at the library. He’d feel embarrassed about it if it weren’t for the rest of the floor’s occupants. Around him, students were speed running through the five stages of grief like it was going out of style.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuck.”
“Same.” Danny replied, rolling his head to look at Tim. “I’m feeling like an academic victim instead of an academic weapon right now.”
“I should have stayed dropped out of school,” Tim grumbled.
Danny gasped theatrically. “And deprive the world of your awe-inspiring genius on…” Danny peered at Tim’s books and grinned. “On… the Krebs cycle? Seriously? They’re teaching that again?”
“I know! This is like, the third time.” Tim whined.
“At least you’ll be good at it, right?”
Tim scoffed. “I’m gonna drop out of college and become a stripper.”
“They do make bank,” Danny nodded. “But aren’t you like a millionaire or something?”
Tim brightened. “Oh, you’re right. I don’t need education! I’m filthy rich!”
Danny whacked Tim on the back of the head, laughing quietly.
“Whatever. Let’s go take a break. Snacks?”
“I literally don’t know how you eat so much.”
“Snacks have a separate stomach pouch. Normal food goes one place, junk food and desserts in another.” Danny retorted, quickly packing up his stuff. In reality, he didn’t need that much food. He’s half dead, after all. But food also converts to ectoplasm in his body, and ancients knows Danny needs all the energy he could get.
They made their way out of the campus library, passing stressed out looking students on their way to a taco truck.
“Does this even count as a snack?” Tim asked, amused. He tugged on his book bag, readjusting the vigilante pins on them.
“Is the sky even blue?” Danny snarked back, forking over the cash needed for the best fucking tacos on this side of Gotham. They sat on the benches, asking for an obscene amount of extra lime and cilantro before going to town.
“Holy shit, how many of those can you eat?”
“Dunno,” Danny mumbled though a mouthful or carne asada and pico de gallo. “Hungry.”
Tim snorted, pulling out his phone to scroll as he ate. A moment later, Tim showed Danny his screen.
“Hey, you live near here, right?”
Danny, cheeks bulging with food, peered at Tim’s phone and nodded.
“Oh, cool! Have you seen the green guy around?”
Danny squinted at Tim, tilting his head as he chewed.
“You know, the glowing green guy that’s been blowing up the Gotham Bay tag.”
Oh. Tim was talking about him, Danny!
Danny nodded. He quickly ate his food and wiped his mouth before replying. “Yeah, why?”
“Does he seriously just clean up the bay? Nothing else?”
Mildly offended for some reason, Danny shrugged. “I mean yeah? He doesn’t seem to pop up near any of the shady spots- oh, I saw him save someone from a mugging in front of my apartment once! But like, I think all he does is clean the bay. Which is good, because holy heck, that place is nastyyy.”
“Seriously?” Tim leaned in, looking super interested. “So he’s friendly?”
Danny raised a brow. “Yeah, he seemed pretty nice, I guess. Though, that’s not saying much considering your Rogues tend to be pretty chill when they’re not in the middle of a scheme.”
Tim snorted. “True that. You talked to him? When? Outside of his bay cleanings, right? I’ve noticed that he only talks to the Bats during those.”
Danny stared at Tim. “Tim… are you… stalking the guy?”
What Danny really wanted to say was: “Tim, are you stalking me?”
“I’m not stalking him!” At Danny’s suspicious glare, belied by his sauce stained mouth, Tim sighed. “Okay, maybe I am. But only some minor stalking!”
“Uh-huh.”
“But if you have, you think you could introduce us? Maybe he’d want to be friends?”
Was Tim asking Danny to introduce him to… Danny himself?
“Uh. Why do you even want to meet him?”
“Danny, he’s a glowing green guy that does community service for funsies. And he knows the Bats. That’s cool.”
“And here I thought you wouldn’t know cool if it smacked you in the face.” Danny teased. Well, whatever. He might as well do something nice for Tim. “Sure. I’ll text you when he pops up and see if he’s okay with meeting you.”
Tim grinned at him, a piece of cilantro stuck in his teeth. “Thanks!”
——
Danny made a duplicate of himself and went ghost. Danny and his duplicate looked at each other and sighed.
“We’ve done stupider things.”
“But we’re still not telling Jazz.”
“Agreed.”
Danny paused. Did he just make a deal with himself? No, he’s busy.
Doppelgänger Danny went invisible and left the apartment by going through a wall. Danny followed in a sedate pace, the normal way.
Outside, he pretended to catch sight of a suddenly visible Phantom. He’d heard the heartbeats outside his apartment ever since he got home all those days ago, and he’s pretty sure the vigilantes were watching his place ever since. Luckily, he made sure there weren’t any bugs or hidden cameras- Sam beat cautiousness into his head a while ago- before starting the plan.
One of those heartbeats sounded like Tim’s which left some… interesting connotations.
Danny sighed. Who was he kidding? Of course he’d be friends with a vigilante.
“Hey, Phantom!” Danny shouted, waving. Phantom floated over.
“Danny. Hi. Did you need something?”
“Oh, not really. My friend wanted to meet you, he’s a huuuuge fan. Think you’ve got time today?” Danny held up his phone.
Phantom hummed. “I can stay for a bit. Thirty minutes.”
“Okay, I’ll call him. His name is Tim, by the way. Thanks for taking the time to meet him!”
“No problem.”
Danny texted Tim, and minutely frowned as he picked up the sound of Tim’s ringtone. Shit, that pretty much confirmed his suspicions. He got a text back from Tim.
Timsy
[5 nin]
Nin
Nin
Nin
Min
Danny huffed an amused breath. “He’ll be here in five minutes.”
“Alright.”
Danny texted back an okay.
Five minutes later, a flushed and disheveled Tim peeled onto the street and right to the curb.
“Here!” He said as he tumbled out of the car.
“Damn, bro. You good?”
“Fine- oh my god, you’re the green guy!” Danny had to hand it to Tim. If he didn’t already figure out he was Red Robin, Danny would’ve believed the act. Holy shit, wait, he called his friend broke. Hah!
“It’s Phantom. Nice to meet you, Tom.”
A quick sliver of sullenness flashed over Tim’s face. “It- it’s Tim.”
“Oh, right. Sorry, human names sound so similar.” Danny leaned back and hid a grin as his doppelgänger messed with his friend.
“Oh, wow, you’re not human? What are you then?”
“Oh my god, Tim, you can’t just ask him what he is!” Danny scolded. These vigilantes were really similar.
“Sorry…” Tim apologized.
“It’s fine. To answer your question, I’m dead. Ghost.”
“Do you really pay taxes?”
Phantom tilted his head. “Yes, of course.” By the, Danny meant that he paid both human taxes and oversaw the Zone’s taxes. “You know that saying, something about never escaping from two things and that’s taxes and death? You can escape death- might come back a little wrong- but taxes are in the afterlife too.”
“Come back a little wrong?” Tim asked, eyes suddenly sharp.
“Come back a little,” Phantom gestured to himself. “Green. More emotive and prone to irritation.”
Tim stared.
——
“Jason, are you a ghost?” Dick, crouched on the top of Danny’s apartment building whispered.
Red Hood, crouched in the same area, stayed silent.
——
“How did you die?”
Phantom snarled and disappeared.
Tim whirled around, looking bewildered. Behind him, Danny struggled to stay calm.
“Where’d he go?”
“He probably didn’t want to hurt you.” Danny sighed.
“What? What did I do?”
“You asked him how he died. That’s like, the ultimate social taboo.”
“I didn’t know that!”
“It’s common sense, dude. Trauma like that has to be shared instead of asked about. Generally.” Danny sighed. “Come on, let’s get off the street and I’ll give you a crash course in manners.”
——
Bruce, upon hearing about the conversation, dove headfirst into researching the after life.
“No, go suck a goat’s genitals, Batsy, I am not helping you adopt a being of the infinite realms!” Constantine hung up on him.
“Hn.” Bruce will adopt the child and give him a home. It’s only a matter of when… and what inter-dimensional loopholes he could find and use in the relevant laws.
Jason was right behind him, because he was going to get answers, dammit.
#danny phantom#batman#tim drake#jason todd#bruce wayne#dc x dp#dick grayson#red hood#nightwing#bamf danny phantom#sea cryptic! danny au
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