last night episode really got me thinking about elsa and rhaenys’ relationship, both when rhaela was alive and after she passed and rhaenys and corlys took her in (bc why wouldn’t they 🤡 … uncle daddy and auntie step mom). It’s such a tumultuous ride tho … rhaenys initially harboring ill will towards her because she’s technically corlys’ first born to being incredibly instrumental in raising her bc she KNEW her sister’s time with her was going to be short.
i ran out of tags to tag spoilers so: h*td spoilers dawgs for last nights hour of torture.
rhaenys, even if she didn’t show it as much, thought of Elsa as her own and Elsa, despite not showing it, always looked to her for the mother she was robbed of far too soon. The two argued like a parent and child might, the flew their dragons together, laughed and drank and mourned with one another.
But there was always a little sting, a little bit of resentment especially after Laena and Laenor passed, because while her only two children perished… Corlys’ child still lived and thrived and she always had to remind herself that Elsa wasn’t privy to her lineage. Only thought Corlys’ treated her as a daughter because that was expected of him as her aunt’s husband.
It’s not until everything is really laid out in the open that she’s able to let go of that little chip on her shoulder, to let it fall away so she can fully remember and realize the promise she had made to her sister on her death bed all those years ago; she has done far more for elsa than even SHE realized.
and then THIS happens … and the fact that they don’t even get to say goodbye. the fact that the last time they saw each other rhaenys was only catching a glimpse of her hauling ass north because something had gone amiss once jace departed from there. she never got to tell her just how much she loved her and loved raising her. that any anger or resentment or callousness she showed her at ANY point of her life had been ill placed and accidental. she never got to REALLY tell her how proud of her she was. how much of a privilege it had been to raise her up into the woman and mother she had become. she definitely does not see her late sister when she looks at her, but rather sees herself.
and when elsa returns, and in her grief goes to the alter by the tide pools that she’s visited far too often in her lifetime she absolutely loses it. while normally she’d have whittled a piece of wood to look like who she had lost, she stands there and just looks at the line of pieces that are already there; her mother, her grandmother, aemma, laena, laenor, viserys, luke, and her own son, rickon…she can’t put rhaneys there, she just can’t.
and in her grief and rage she destroys it, destroys the one place of peace she’s had all those years. destroys her once place of reflection and one place she could grieve uninterrupted. she rips the alter of driftwood and stone apart with her bare hands, knuckles bleeding.
it’s not a place of remembrance or reflection. it’s a glaring reminder of everything and everyone she’s lost. the empty spaces, a place holder for who might have an effigy placed there next; her husband, her daughters, her only remaining son, her nieces, her nephews, her queen and cousin, her father … the list goes on.
and all the while her dragon watches, feeling every ounce of her grief tenfold, and it’s unlike the kind she’s shared with her before. but when it’s all said am done, just like when elsa was fourteen and had lost her mother, frosteye lifts one opal wing, battle scars from them turning the tide in north still healing, and invites her under. and elsa accepts just as she did before, crawling beneath the wing, sand singing her split knuckles, drawing herself into a fetal position and weeping like a babe.
but she knows rhaenys isn’t coming to check on her like before. she knows frosteye won’t chortle and shift at the high valaryian spoken so softly and clearly to calm her upon approach.
she’s surrounded by so many, needed by so many. but she’s never felt so alone in rhaenys’ absence.
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AND I HOPE WHEN YOU THINK OF ME YEARS DOWN THE LINE YOU CAN'T FIND ONE GOOD THING TO SAY AND I'D HOPE THAT IF I FOUND THE STRENGTH TO WALK OUT YOU'D STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY I AM DROWNING THERE IS NO SIGN OF LAND YOU ARE COMING DOWN WITH ME HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND AND I HOPE YOU DIE I HOPE WE BOTH DIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i want to add no children to my hickeygibson playlist but it feels too obvious
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How did Naruhodo and the Mikotobas' boat ride home go? How have things been back in Japan?
Hullo, dear friend.
The trip back to our home country was certainly a bittersweet one. It was not my first time having to say goodbye to my second home, but it could be argued that this time was even more difficult. The three of us managed well enough on the boat, with plenty to do to keep our minds occupied, but as I lay awake in an empty bed, I longed to be with my partner.
I feel immense pride for those two fine young adults. They have been getting along better and better as of late, sharing an experience that few could possibly hope to understand. I long for such camaraderie myself.
Things have been successful in Japan. The three of us have worked hard to implement new ideas within our legal system, adding some contingencies in the hopes of stopping any situations like that of The Professor to happen in our country.
I would like to say I do not regret the choice to leave immediately, but I cannot say that in full confidence. I go back and forth on whether or not I made the right idea.
In short, the situation is complex but progressing smoothly. Signed, Dr. Yuujin Mikotoba
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