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skagheart · 3 months

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Dear Nobody’s Daughter, to Live Through This, you scrape off your Celebrity Skin; you know full well that you’re Pretty On The Inside...

HOW TO GET INTO HOLE?

• Angel Dust guides: I.

Aimed at @elexnorislingtxn and whomever wants to get into Hole...

HOLE is an American nineties’s kinderwhore band with a turbulent line-up and pure chaotic gold for music yet overshadowed by the controversial image of the lead singer and frontwoman of the band, Courtney Love. A staple in the grunge scene, the critically acclaimed sophomore record Live Through This of 1994 marked a peak in Hole’s career although the band was gaining audience for their 1991 debut: Pretty On The Inside. Celebrity Skin, the 1998 album, proved Hole’s peak which was rightly concluded by 2010’s Nobody’s Daughter thus finishing the legacy of Hole.

...In my very humble opinion, Courtney Love is a cunt. And, I love her music.

DO TRY Hole if you are into: Jack Off Jill, Bratmobile, Nirvana, Babes In Toyland, L7, Veruca Salt, Mommy Long Legs, Bikini Kill, Lunachicks, et cetera. Or, if you’d like to try something dolly and chaotic with an edge of feminism and aggression. I promise, listening to Hole makes you feel like a doll.

DO NOT TRY Hole if you’re a filthy misogynist who can’t stand the fact that the wife of a popular artist does in fact make good music on her own.

Yes, Courtney Love is a cunt, but she makes good music. Seperate the artist from the art.

If you’re still present here, welcome! Now, moving onto the actual guide...

FIRSTLY, I think to decode this, we’d have to learn about the albums individually. Of course, I’m going to leave my recommendation for listening, but to best suit yourself, you can find your own way around with the descriptions I give for each of these albums...

“ PRETTY ON THE INSIDE ”

Slut-kiss girl... PRETTY ON THE INSIDE of 1991 is about beauty, which is the life as a sex-worker about Courtney Love’s time as a sex-worker. It includes Courtney Love on vocals and rhythm guitar, Eric Erlandson on lead guitar, Jill Emery on bass, Caroline Rue on drums, produced by Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth and Don Fleming of Gumball.

tracklist. TEENAGE WHORE, BABYDOLL, GARBADGE MAN, SASSY, GOOD SISTER—BAD SISTER, MRS. JONES, BERRY, LOADED, STARBELLY, PRETTY ON THE INSIDE, CLOUDS.

IF YOU WANT... angry, chaotic, messy and sloppily mixed music that is very heady and makes you feel like a doll, listen to this album first.

Blending elements of punk rock, the album features distorted and alternating guitar compositions, screaming vocals from Love, and “sloppy punk ethics”, a style which the band would later distance themselves from, opting for a less abrasive sound on subsequent releases. Love’s lyrics on the album are often presented in an abstract narrative form, and describe disparate scenes of graphic violence, death, and female sexuality. The record was dedicated to Rob Ritter of the Los Angeles punk rock acts the Bags and The Gun Club. [< source, wikipedia.

If you want a more refined yet more depressed version of this album, migrate to Live Through This after; if you want a more refined and self-assured, slightly sarcastic but honest record after this listen, go to Celebrity Skin.

FUN FACT: the song BABYDOLL is allegedly inspired by Madonna.

“ LIVE THROUGH THIS ”

Miss Worlds... LIVE THROUGH THIS of 1994 is about the changes that come with marriage and motherhood, themes mainly being motherhood, body image, depression, child abuse and elitism. It includes Courtney Love on vocals and rhythm guitar, Eric Erlandson on lead guitar, Kristen Pfaff on bass, Patty Schemel on drums, produced by Paul Q. Kolderie and Sean Slade.

tracklist. VIOLET, MISS WORLD, PLUMP, ASKING FOR IT, JENNIFER’S BODY, DOLL PARTS, CREDIT IN A STRAIGHT WORLD, SOFTER, SOFTEST, SHE WALKS ON ME, I THINK THAT I WOULD DIE, GUTLESS, ROCK STAR.

IF YOU WANT... a tragic and softly edgy listen with a harsh sensibility and pure womanly depression scrawled all over, listen to this album first.

Live Through This marked a departure from the band’s noise rock roots toward a more alternative rock format. Love had sought a more mellow sound for Live Through This. The resulting music was starkly less aggressive than the band's former work, blending more structured melodies and smoother arrangements with heavy guitar riffs. Consequently, this featured a mixture of songwriting techniques, including use of power chords as well as arpeggios, and occasional use of keyboards. [< source, wikipedia.

If you want a tougher, rawer, more journal-entry music than this, migrate to Pretty On The Inside; if you want a more refined and self-assured, slightly sarcastic but honest record after this listen, go to Celebrity Skin.

FUN FACT: Courtney Love’s late husband Kurt Cobain does backing vocals on ASKING FOR IT.

“ CELEBRITY SKIN ”

Petals... CELEBRITY SKIN of 1998 is about the lost people, the more opulent Los Angeles and Californian culture, about the promises and agonies of Southern California; it was aimed to divulge greatly from the grunge sound of before. It includes Courtney Love on vocals and rhythm guitar, Eric Erlandson on lead guitar, Melissa Auf der Maur on bass, Patty Schemel on drums, produced by Michael Beinhorn.

tracklist. CELEBRITY SKIN, AWFUL, HIT SO HARD, MALIBU, REASONS TO BE BEAUTIFUL, DYING, USE ONCE & DESTROY, NORTHERN STAR, BOYS ON THE RADIO, HEAVEN TONIGHT, PLAYING YOUR SONGS, PETALS.

IF YOU WANT... a rock-fueled pop sound with many lyrics that are references and have layered meanings, a comforting almost listen, listen to this album first.

The band sought to use Los Angeles and the state of California as a unifying theme and began writing what they conceived as a “California album” in 1997. Unlike Hole's previous releases, the final songs on Celebrity Skin featured instrumental contributions from several musicians outside the band, primarily Billy Corgan, who co-wrote the musical arrangements on five songs. Auf der Maur's former bandmate Jordon Zadorozny, as well as Go-Go's guitarist Charlotte Caffey, also contributed to the composition of one track. Frontwoman Courtney Love, who wrote all of the lyrics, named the album and its title track after a poem she had written that was influenced by T. S. Eliot's The Waste Land. Motifs of water and drowning are also prominent throughout the album, as well as recurring themes of angels, Heaven and stars. [< source, wikipedia.

If you want a tougher, rawer, more journal-entry music than this, migrate to Pretty On The Inside; if you want a grungier yet more depressed version of this album, migrate to Live Through This after.

FUN FACT: Love clarified that she had derived the album name from a short-lived band in Los Angeles named Celebrity Skin, as well as a bootleg pornographic magazine featuring nude candid photos of celebrities.

“ NOBODY’S DAUGHTER ”

Dirty Girls... NOBODY’S DAUGHTER of 2010 is about the time of rehabilitation that Courtney Love went through after a long cocaine addiction and legal troubles following that, written in rehabilitation; about feeling lost, confused. It was supposed to be a solo album of Love’s, but was made to be Hole’s last album after their 2002 dissolution. It includes Courtney Love on vocals and rhythm guitar, Micko Larkin on lead guitar, Shawn Dailey on bass, Stu Fisher on drums, produced by Michael Beinhorn, Micko Larkin, and Linda Perry.

tracklist. NOBODY’S DAUGHTER, SKINNY LITTLE BITCH, HONEY, PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY, SAMANTHA, SOMEONE ELSE’S BED, FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, LETTER TO GOD, LOSER DUST, HOW DIRTY GIRLS GET CLEAN, NEVER GO HUNGRY.

I DO NOT RECOMMEND LISTENING TO THIS ALBUM VERY FIRSTLY, but, IF YOU WANT... a polished and the most mainstream-sounding of the four albums, sad, confused, lost record written during rehabilitation, this is your key.

Before the album’s release, former Hole guitarist Eric Erlandson publicly disputed Love’s use of the Hole name, claiming it violated a previous agreement between the two, which Love contested. On its release, Nobody’s Daughter received generally mixed reviews from music critics, with some praising its instrumentation and lyrics, while others criticized it for its folk rock elements as well as production issues and Love’s vocals. Despite this, Love said in 2010 that she considered it the best record she had made. [< source, wikipedia.

If you want a tougher, rawer, more journal-entry music than this, migrate to Pretty On The Inside; if you want a grungier yet more depressed version of this album, migrate to Live Through This after; if you want a similar but more scattered listen, to Celebrity Skin.

FUN FACT: The painting on the cover is of Marie Antoinette and the tracklist page has the edited background of a painting of Anne Boleyn.

MY RECOMMENDED PATHWAYS...

Lastly...

HOLE is a kinderwhore band, which is minutely distinct from riot grrrl. And, Courtney Love has a lot of beef with, to be honest, mostly everyone. So, yeah... For example, Babes In Toyland, a band often mentioned in the same vein as Hole, has their frontwoman, Kat Bjelland, in hatred with Love. I do not recommend looking up to these people as people, but please do try their music.

Die, cry, adore Hole.

FUN FACT: My favourite Hole album is Pretty On The Inside!

Dear Nobody’s Daughter, to Live Through This, you scrape off your Celebrity Skin; you know full well that you’re Pretty On The Inside...

DID YOU GET INTO HOLE?

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aquariitheorchid · 2 months

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Knives and his characterization in Trigun Stampede.

Im yapping again...

OKAY! so. I've seen a lot of people across several platforms talk about Knives and his characterization across the several mediums that Trigun is involved in. I want to throw my two cents in.

THIS IS STRICTLY A TRIGUN STAMPEDE VIEW. I have some, not a lot, of knowledge about Knives in Trigun Maximum.

There's a very, very clear difference between the two Knives' in TriStamp/Stargaze and Trigun Maximum. In my interpretation of these characters, I think it's mostly about how others tell his story. Everything we see about him is from another's point of view.

I haven't read TriMax yet. I'm currently waiting for the deluxe versions to come out. So, I'll make an update post once I do and another one when Trigun Stargaze comes out.

What I'm yapping about will focus on Knives' interpretation in Trigun Stampede. I will say that they are two different characters. What I think the producers and directors are trying to do is show us how Knives could be a dynamic character or at least as the potential to be one. (if they don't fumble...)

The plot in Trigun Stampede is driven by and shown to the viewers by Meryl. She is the viewer's eyes into this world. She finds and interviews Vash in the dinner, her and Roberto drive Vash across the desert after the events of Jenora Rock. She hits Wolfwood with her car. She intervenes on the sandsteamer. Meryl and Roberto are kidnapped by Zazie then saved by Wolfwood and Vash, subsequently bringing Vash to Knives. Then she saves Vash by reminding him of Rem. She takes Milly on as a newbie.

Her actions direct the plot forward. We are shown this wonderful, fucked up and confusing world through her eyes. Eyes that have not seen the true nature of this world. Think Roberto's comment of Meryl's ivory tower. She is sheltered. Very much like the audience is. This all ties into the idea of perception. We are seeing this world though her eyes. Conflicts like Vash being a plant are revealed to her just as they are revealed to the audience. It's safe to assume that her interpretation is biased. Of course it is. Every view we get of this world is biased. This is introduced from early on with Meryl, then Roberto, then Wolfwood, then to Vash, and then to Knives

When it comes to Knives, we are introduced to him as a force of nature, a God of destruction. It's somewhat flat. This is intentional. In episode three, we are given A and B. A, a reason (his talk to Vash about taking the plant). B, a menacing appearance of an antagonist that seems very one dimensional. (He is here for the plant and to set the conflict of this story. That is what we are shown in this specific episode.)

His character doesn't develop further all that much when we are introduced to characters that work with or are devoted to him. The first real bit of deeper characterization we get about Knives is from Vash's memory of what happened on that plant carrier all those years ago. "Why would they choose this medium to introduce him?" is it to show his motives? Yes. It is absolutely this. Is it also to follow along with the theme of biases and point of view? Yep. This also extends to the soup/metaphorical SA scene in the final arc of this season. This point of view, all of these flashback scenes are biased because they are memories from Vash's perspective.

We are shown that Knives is hurt from what the humans are doing and uses aggression and violence to express this. This is shown with the last run and Tesla. Knives is afraid, he's scared for him and Vash's sake. Though he'll never admit this. To admit that would give power to the humans that have hurt him and them. I can imagine the result (the aggression and fear) of this would cause Vash (someone he's hurt) to question things about his character. This would then lead to the biased view we get.

We are not getting the full story from Vash's perspective. It's like someone telling their side of a story. We will never know the full story unless we are shown this. Everything in this story is biased, or at least up to this point. I can imagine Vash thinking, post getting his arm chopped of, "has Knives always been like this?" and that thought altering his memories. There's no way after 150 years he's gonna remember everything good about his brother, esspeically when he's hurt him time and time again. The bad will outshine the good.

The producers and minds behind this show have a chance to do something great with his character. They are setting him up as a pretty flat character, but I can see them taking his character and making it more dynamic with the idea that all point of view's are biased. ITS JUST I DON'T REALLY TRUST THE PRODUCERS TO DO JUSTICE TO THIS.

I have a decent number of issues with the producers and minds behind this version of Trigun already. From them liking incest art, to whitewashing Wolfwood, to not licensing Meryl merchandise, to getting rid of Wolfwood's goof( i do have hope for it returning in szn 2), to them getting rid of transgender Elendira and making her half-plant half-human, and to them getting rid of a lot of what people liked in the 98' series and TriMax. They're very much leaning heavily into tropes. I do blame some of this on what the studio is able to get away with in terms of representation. In the west, it's easier to do that sort of stuff, but not so much in Japan. it is of course, no excuse for them not doing this. I'm starting to lose hope in what direction they're going. I do have biases because Trigun Stampede is my first introduction into Trigun as a whole, but I'm starting to lose interest. I adore this show with a passion but GOD ITS LOOKING LIKE THEY'RE GONNA FUMBLE THIS. SEASON TWO BETTER SHOW SOME MORE LOVE TO THE INSURANCE GIRLS TOO.

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #millions knives #studio orange #tristamp #analysis #his character is so messed up and cool to see #i wanna put him under a microscope and analyze him #he needs therapy #trigun stargaze

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itscontinental · 14 days

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VILE: WET again, appologies, no scannner, no more. A clear transcription of text can be found at the bottom, beneath the the paragraph of exhausting excuse and exposition below; If it is not apparent already: we are quite embarrassed with all the VILE. This is the only piece of the VILE series that was ever subject to change. As progenitor to the series, our rule of ceaseless movement was merely applied on a whim to the first iteration of "WET" and we did not follow it with intentional adherence. So the two subsequent versions pictured here are technically the first official additions to the "VILE" series as they were the first to be produced without a moments pause whatsoever. This being said, these were only an exercise at the time, we did not know that we would experience a continuous compulsion to pump these pieces of shit out one after another. We still find it funny to reference them as a series considering they are some of the worst things we have ever written, but there are so many, and in sharing them with you, we are forced to read them ourselves for once and thus access all the introspective bullshit that people claim can be gleaned within strict, unwavering, stream-of-consciousness writing. As we were getting wet, getting violent and vile, the "series" was yet to exist we don't like its existence. It just is as we are just yours Even our most vile parts especially the VILE:

For visual clarity, we will transcribe the text below. We will fill in gaps of missing letters and correct some spelling errors severe enough to make a word unclear. other than this, no edits will be made.

VILE: WET (Small/duplication) everything about this city is wet, the arid summer made up in sweat; it is deafening:dumb I cannot hear over the water fountains and sweat and the ponds that they made there full of viscous liquid making me sick making me violent and vile. and when i dream i am hanged and exsanguinated (THIRD) and being left and turning and being salting and turning to jerky and as i awake i am wet, releasing wet into wet and bathing in all that wet lest the wet become putrid, walking in my soggy shoes and glistening in oil-- polished as a doorknob: Confessions of a Shoe-in; I am so fucking wet. VILE: WET (extension)

remaining there you there with him in his robes sink into the eb and flow of the sink and this city is soaked everything in the city wet, the arid summer made up in sweat; it is deafening--dumb: i cannot hear over the water fountains and the fountains making mechanincal and the ponds they installed there full of viscous liquid making sick making me violent and vile and when i sleep i dream of insanguination, being hanged and insanguinated, being left and turning, salted and turning to jerky and i awake and am sweating through the bedsheets and it stings and i hope its sweat because it stings and itches and expires sooner so sooner than jerky would by many although i do not know if it spoils when the meat is wet, my meat is wet in the middle and the out place, perspiring from the outplace and the outside where the wet falls and reminds you that the clouds are mist and that you cannot grasp or walk on or touch or grasp like lumps of of cotton but rather would soak you and will and does upon my forehead from out and out and inside burning wet and boiling like the sacrament like i once beleived in jesus christ and ive been soaking and sick and baptised and so sick, sad i think maybe but soaking all the time since he told me we no longer have anything in common but i can keep the water the sacrament whatever id like, my share, and it is wet and i am wet releasing wet into the steam heat of this vast and vile machine and bathing in all the piping and wet lest the sweat become rancid, putrid in the city wet and walking in my soggy shoes and glistening in oil, polished as a doorknob: confessions of a shoe-in showing signs and everyone cold and soaking and and cold and mostly showing regret shewn portraits damaged in the moisture of my storage in the attic where it rises and settled to douse my portrait and anoint it anointed forever in the eyes you no longer have anything to talk about nor in common save the rain, the sun&sweat and see you and see you and coughing black that only may be blood and beginning to forget. Other "VILE" pages linked below: IN LOVE

DRY

DARK

BRIGHT There are more many more somewhere in THE STACK we will post them as they present themselves although, they are not entirely In tact

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 11 months

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I feel like this conversation is a bit played out, but I’m curious: do you think JK’s banking on winning a Grammy and potentially getting out of his military service? I’ve tried to take their words for what they are and I know everyone’s said that they’re all going to the military, will be back in 2025, yadda yadda, whatever. I can’t understand why, if that’s the case, they’re banking so much on his solo career if he’s just going to disappear from the scene (physically) for almost 2 years. Do you get what I mean?

My thoughts are that they are actually hoping for a Grammy and subsequent deferment of mandatory service, but then again, nobody knows so I guess we’ll have to wait and see how it all plays out.

As this is only speculation and might as well not happen, let me bring my own contribution. I don't think this is about Jungkook and I'll explain why.

If you look at this entire issue from the perspective of the artist/idol, you'll realize soon that you're stuck, that you can't explain why he's doing this or that. But looking at it as a business deal will shine another light on it.

Yes, Jungkook is leaving to do his military service soon and everything he said up until now points to that so why are they investing so much into making him a "global pop star"? Because Hybe and Hybe America need to show that they can do that. That their strategy is one that works for future business. Why do you think they tried it first on the most versatile of the BTS members, the one that can do any song because he has the voice needed for that? This wouldn't have worked with Taehyung or Jimin. God, I'm so happy it didn't work with Jimin because it would have been horrible to see all that unfoulding. Besides, they had projects on their own and without making any contribution to the song writing, Tae's album was still something that matched his personality, it was him with the help of MHJ.

With Jungkook, the situation is different. I wouldn't know the details, but when they announced their hiatus, it looked like everyone was set on releasing an album, including JK. And then, most likely, life happened. Because you can't plan your state of mind. And when you're under a contract, you do need to listen to other people. I know army always uses the shares in Hybe argument, but the value allocated for the members is insignificant on a larger scale. Yes, they are rich and they can do what they want and sleep on a wlive, but I don't think for one second the company would have let Jungkook do nothing and be a couch potato.

So they found this opportunity. You also have to keep in mind that Hybe paid a lot of money for Scooter's company and then what happened to him? Most of his artists left? So where is this big opportunity for collaboration and projects and all that?

This is just business. That's it. They chose the idol capable of being a blank slate and stuck the concept of global pop star on him. Because that's what it is which is incredibly funny (not). Usually that accolade comes after some time, when the results can be seen over a prolonged period of time, but in this case, that was the starting point. As much as Bang wants to get rid of the k in kpop, they're still using a kpop strategy, that of making an album based on a concept or creating a specific image for an idol.

And now they are pushing it hard. They are investing a ton of money into this in a way that makes them look desperate and I think that in the industry at large, people see it. Not the fans because they either choose to turn a blind eye or their mind doesn't go that far. There are voices which have said a thing or two lately among army, but it's an insignificant minority. The company can rely on the fandom to buy all those 284836521 versions and remixes and they will eat it up. And voila, look at how Hybe produced a global pop star in less than half a year. Quick, open the catalog for some songs that sound mediocre enough for a top 40, make the singer record them asap, fast, done in less than one week. Quickly come up with some generic argument of how this is just to show the artist's vocal range (good job PR for that one, jesus) and then also openly admit that it was made for a Western market, aka US cause the world stops there.

Jungkook had the possibility to show more personality of his own when he was with a group of six other people than with his solo album, which is so ironic. But that is because it is not his album. He's merely a vessel through which Bang and Scooter can show investors that they can invent a global pop star and fast while their pockets grow bigger and bigger.

#m thoughts #hybe #jk #bang pd #kpop

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triptychgrip · 5 months

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My desperate plea to anyone else who likes the 'found family' trope in anime...

...please, PLEASE check out the manga/anime March Comes In Like A Lion, so that I'll have more friends to gush over this incredible masterpiece with!! I honestly don't know where to begin with this, but one thing I can confidently say is that Sangatsu no Raion contains one of the absolute best anime/manga depictions around what it's like to suffer from depression and complex PTSD, as well as, how one can find the means to heal by leaning on others.

The protagonist -- Rei Kiriyama, a 17 year old when the story begins, and a professional shōgi player (i.e. Japanese version of chess) -- is one of the most nuanced main characters I've ever seen portrayed in any medium. His learning how to navigate the pressures of his career while also grappling with his childhood trauma (bullying, the death of his parents/sister in childhood and subsequent adoption into a new family, etc.) is so incredibly moving, and it's my sincere hope that the amazing anime that Shaft studio produced might one day continue on with the manga source material.

Many fans agree that Rei is autistic/autistic-coded, and the portrayal of Rei's alexithymia (something I really don't think we see enough of in media) in particular is done so well and with such care. That element of intentionality truly does extend to so many of the characters in this show as well.

Just look at Rei's adorable face...don't turn your back on him, I beg!!

Oh and if nothing else, his story arc of finding 'home' within the Kawamoto family is guaranteed to give you all the warm fuzzies.

#sangatsu no lion #rei kiriyama #march comes in like a lion #found family #depression #kiriyama rei #autistic characters #alexithymia #autistic coded character

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industrial-horror · 7 months

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“How are people still falling for this?”

You’d expect reasonable adults to move past their beliefs in ridiculous things like bigfoot, flat Earth, and the AMPTP negotiating in good faith. But the easiest person to fool is yourself, and plenty of us have been taken in by our own ever so slightly twitchy muscles.

This Week's Moment of Science… Ouija Boards & The Ideomotor Effect

Centuries before Hasbro marketed it as a toy, spirit boards of all sorts were used to commune with the dead. The versions most of us have seen this century typically display all the letters of the Latin alphabet and the numbers 0-9 along with the words ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ and an irreverent little ‘goodbye’ to let you know the afterlife is fed up with your shit. The spirit-board-pointer-thingy is called a planchette, French for ‘little plank.’

There are a few rumors about how it came by the modern name ‘Ouija.’ It seems the most likely story is that the group looking to patent and sell the toy in the late 1800s decided to ask the board to breathe life into its name. With hands upon the planchette, it spelled out, “ouija.” Well they just had to know what that meant. Cheeky board that it was, Ouija answered “good luck.”

It was marketed as an Egyptian spirit board with a name meaning ‘good luck.’ Eventually, that story changed to it being a combination of the French and German words for “yes.”

The cool thing about asking a Ouija board which boy in school likes you? Those tricksy spirits from the next realm are gonna tell you it’s the boy you’re thinking of. Which might be the scientific explanation for how this mundane board at the center of so many junior high sleepovers got its name.

So the legend goes, the person who suggested compelling the board to talk was wearing a locket with a picture of someone named ‘Ouida’ in it. Accounts vary on if the name was written in the locket as Ouida, Ouija, or even written at all. But it calls into question the idea that the name was perfectly random when it was already on the mind and, curiously, the fingertips.

(Allegedly or whatever, because everyone’s got a story to sell and maybe it was the French and German thing).

So, the ideomotor effect.

Humans are giant fuck-up machines and even when we’re not scheming up some shit on purpose, our minds and bodies are getting into shenanigans without us. Somewhat literally meaning 'a motion from an idea,' we make these minuscule movements unconsciously. Even if it’s not on purpose, this kind of motion can be motivated by our thoughts, for better or worse. Tell yourself not to move all you want, but put that ‘little plank’ underneath your hands? The back of your mind may have secrets to spill.

Everyone at the table thinks they’re definitely the only one not moving it, and everyone is almost certainly moving it. Scientists and modern skeptics alike have gone to great lengths to show that this isn’t the work of ghosts or humans who play coy with their handiwork when the board comes to life; it’s just our minds doing the talking- er, spelling for us.

This effect on a Ouija board if someone is taking the results for what they are– a reflection of their own desires– is perfectly harmless entertainment. But if you have a tendency to get spooked into believing in these things and subsequently paying money to a psychic based on some bullshit a planchette spelled out on a toy made by the same company that produces Lite Brite, Jenga, and My Little fucking Pony? Maybe board game based communication with dearly departed Uncle Greg isn’t for you.

That said, there are other fields in which the ideomotor effect is employed that harm practically everyone involved. But we’ll talk about facilitated communication another day.

This has been your Moment of Science, just saying… I didn’t move it. No, I didn’t. I seriously didn’t you guys.

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esther-dot · 2 years

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One of my concerns about the Snow sequel in addition to the stuff that you and others have mentioned is whether the writers try to lean into the "Jon is the real hidden heir to the IT and he supported his brother Bran as a king instead because he's such a Great Guy (tm)" because there is literally no way that he would be in line to the IT because he is not legitimate and this leads me to one of the most egregious plot points from the show - R annulling his marriage to E. There is literally no way in the medieval feudal universe GRRM has set up that an annulment of a royal marriage which was consummated and produced two trueborn children can be a thing (D&D truly deserve to be tarred and feathered for the absolute disrespect to E and her children for this plot point). I see others agree that the annulment (and subsequent marriage to L would never be valid) and then say "but there is a precedent for taking multiple wives so maybe that's what will happen in the books" but is there? The only "precedent" was Aegon the Conqueror from 300 years before R's time and Meagor the universally hated king which was the catalyst for outlawing poly-marriages in the first place lmao. Do I think in R's pea sized brain he thought he was above the law and could have a poly-marriage? Maybe. Sure. But if the main players all survived (R, E, and L) literally no one in Westeros would see any potential annulment or poly marriage as valid and Jon would be a bastard. Not a Stark bastard, but a Targ bastard. Also, Dorne would have initiated an actual rebellion for breaking an arranged royal marriage and for the complete disrespect toward a Princess of Dorne. The ONLY way Jon could have been legitimate is if R took L as a mistress and then the King legitimized whatever children their affair produced - that obviously never happened. I REALLY hope GRRM doesn't lean into some poly-marriage or worse some BS "annulment" because it would be just so disgusting to do to E and her children on top of it not making sense based on the Westerosi rules of society.

Oh, and additionally to my very long (lol) ask about the legitimacy of Jon. D&D giving Show!Jon Aegon's name, part of his identity, his legitimacy as the actual heir, and parts of his storyline was also disgusting. I absolutely hate when people refer to Jon as Aegon because it's so degrading toward E and her trueborn son. D&D truly deserve the worst for how much they disrespected the Dornish characters on the show.

Based on the fact that HBO kinda...ignored how the long night went/how GoT ended so that they could celebrate Targ specialness via the prophecy in HOTD, and seeing how Kit recently mentioned he thought Jon should have been king (he used to name other Starks), your fears are kinda warranted? Usually an actor's opinion doesn't indicate much about where a show might go, but the sequel is Kit's baby, he is the one who is making it happen, his people are working on it, so...I think his feelings are more relevant than normal. And, we really don’t know how much of his thinking on the characters/the world has been shaped by D&D’s version or if he’s gonna depart from that for another version, and if that version would be one closer to Martin’s vision or further afield. We really don’t know, and since I’m someone who genuinely thought, “oh shit, they are raising Dany from the dead and making a worse version of s7-8” upon hearing about the sequel, I’m not gonna alleviate any fears!

I agree that Rhaegar is a disgusting, that an annulment would be horrible and unlikely. Unfortunately, I can see a lot of reasons why Martin would have Rhaegar “marry” Lyanna. As you said,

Do I think in R's pea sized brain he thought he was above the law and could have a poly-marriage? Maybe. Sure.

I don’t know that it matters that his plan was horrible, we already know his actions are insufferably offensive and idiotic. I mean, knowing his father wasn’t fit to rule and not focusing on that as the pressing problem and instead pursuing a teenager? Crowning Lyanna in front of everyone? Running away with or kidnapping her? Imprisoning her in Dorne? Going to war even after his father brutally murdered the father/brother of the girl he abducted/ran off with? This guy’s foresight/moral compass/problem solving mechanisms were nonexistent. Something being a stupid idea, guaranteed to end horribly does not mean he didn’t do it, or that he would be deterred from a course of action by seeing the fallout, unfortunately.

I think there are a number of things that happened in GoT that were a variation on what Martin told D&D, since then he’s said he’s diverging more than he expected, so perhaps we worry for nothing, but I am not convinced Martin wont have Rhaegar do as you suggest, not annulment, but take a second wife. Stumpy’s reread has been tracking evidence for true born vs Targ bastard for Jon, and I think either version is still on the table. My personal feeling is that the first story we got about Rhaegar is not ultimately going to be the truth, simply because Martin’s whole shades of grey thing. Obviously, my feelings about Rhaegar aren’t gonna change no matter what is revealed in TWOW, but Martin seems to want everything to be complex, lots of layers, nothing too one-note. We now know the prophecy which undermines R/L strictly as some star crossed lovers story which was the other extreme people went to, and that to me indicates we are getting a mix of motivations/ a complex truth.

I assumed Jon was trueborn because a lot of what many have pointed to as R+L=J clues that center on the word “king”

"Likely they were too shy to come out," Ned jested. He could feel the chill coming up the stairs, a cold breath from deep within the earth. "Kings are a rare sight in the north."

Robert snorted. "More likely they were hiding under the snow. Snow, Ned!" The king put one hand on the wall to steady himself as they descended.

(AGOT, Eddard I)

Obviously, now knowing that Robb and Bran become kings, this is a really fun line, but to me, it is undoubtedly a R+L=J hint. We might argue that it is KitN foreshadowing for Jon, not about his parentage, it is the name however that makes me think this is about being Rhaegar’s son, “hiding under the snow. Snow--” Ned claimed Jon as his bastard --snow-- to protect him, so while we can read it about our Stark boys becoming kings, I think Martin wrote it thinking of Jon as a Targaryen heir. Maybe that changed? He keeps up with the king stuff throughout the series and a lot of that is more easily seen as KitN hints, so maybe? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I also like to think about what Martin would want to write, he loves grief and inner turmoil, so I would think that he would like the idea of writing Jon struggling with the option of becoming a legitimized Stark and then the temptation of being a legitimized Targ simply because while parentage reveal alone is a bombshell, being an heir/potential king plays forward story/plot wise and offers that whole heart in conflict with itself. Whether it’s something the rest of Westeros would acknowledge or not, I’m not sure that’s the purpose? To me, the idea of Jon finding out he is not a bastard, only to choose it, to choose to be known as one, for the greater good is meaningful, to not be forced to bear undeserved shame but choose it for love of the Starks, that could be written in a beautiful way.

On the other hand, the fact that D&D gave Jon the name Aegon def makes it seem like they potentially took book Aegon’s heir status/the people loving him more than Dany and assigned it to show Jon, that would explain why Jon had no importance in the political endgame in the show, maybe R+L=J wont impact the politics in the books. I’ve read great meta arguing for and against, but I could just as easily see them being so consumed with Dany saying “wtf do we have two nephews/two heirs for?” and conflating them for that reason, without thinking much more about it. But, it seems to me that Martin might want to use the three Targs to create those nuances that D&D steamrolled. As in, Dany embraces her Targ identity/fire & blood, Aegon embraces Targ identity but will reject fire & blood, Jon will reject both the identity and fire&blood. To me, part of the benefit of introducing Aegon is to allow some middle ground with the Targs? It might allow for a more interesting discussion on what must be done with a legacy such as theirs? It’s a conversation that doesn’t really happen with only Jon and Dany (extremes) or only Dany and Aegon. I would also think a lot depends on the ending Martin has in store for Jon. If he is trueborn, I’d think that points at an Aemon-like ending. Being a Targ bastard would allow for a much happier ending for him imo.

I’ve said before that I have an (irrational?) hatred for Rhaegar, so I am on your side with all the concerns, but I’m just...well, I’m not convinced that any of what happens with the Targs is gonna be as clear-cut as we might want. I’m bracing myself for messy, not nice.

#dot chat #jon show #< tag to filter

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twistedtummies2 · 1 year

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Fifteen Days of Disney Magic - Number 6

Welcome to Fifteen Days of Disney Magic! In honor of the company’s 100th Anniversary, I am counting down my Top 15 Favorite Movies from Walt Disney Animation Studios! To introduce today’s entry, I have only this to say: “Most Everyone’s Mad Here.” Number 6 is…Alice in Wonderland.

This is the other film, alongside “The Great Mouse Detective,” where I feel – if you know me well – it’s high placement will not remotely be surprising. Whereas, if you don’t know me well, it will likely be VERY surprising. Honestly, I can settle why “Alice” is so high on my list with a single sentence: Lewis Carroll’s “Alice” stories are my favorite books, and I personally think the Disney version is the best movie treatment of the books, as well as one of my personal favorites. That’s really all I NEED to say. But you came here to hear me ramble, I think. Possibly. Maybe. So I guess I have to. :P The history of Walt Disney and “Alice” is actually pretty fascinating on its own, leaving the movie alone: this, alongside “Peter Pan,” was one of the first movies Walt wanted to make, and was actually considered for his first feature film, and then his second, way back in the 1930s. Ultimately, Walt went with “Snow White” for his first film, but he never gave up on “Alice.” It’s pretty clear that Walt loved the story, because even before the Disney film ever got put into development, he’d used Wonderland as the basis for several of his earlier works. There were the famous “Alice Comedies” he produced during the silent era, which were not so much directly based on the books so much as just inspired by them, but are still worth noting. Later there was one of the best Mickey Mouse cartoons ever made, in most people’s minds, “Thru the Mirror,” where Mickey goes through the Looking-Glass, dances with the Queen of Hearts, duels the King, and has to deal with a multitude of animated objects. Initial treatments of the “Alice” story were much darker and more surreal than the final product; most notable was a treatment of the film by artist David Hall, which has sort of become legendary amongst Carrollians and fans of Disney trivia and lost media alike. However, it wasn’t until artist Mary Blair came onto the project – and after World War II drew to a close – that Disney finally felt confident in making the movie. Interestingly, when the film finally came out in 1951, it was something of a disappointment: critical reactions were lukewarm, at best, and it underperformed at the box office. However, over the years – with subsequent re-releases and exposure through various forms of merchandising and rides at the parks – the film gained a bigger and grander following. Nowadays, “Alice” isn’t exactly considered a great Disney classic, but it’s definitely not considered a failure.

In fact, in some ways, one could argue it’s one of the single most influential Disney movies of all time. It was certainly influential on later renditions of the story: coming from somebody whose obsession with the Carroll classics is well known, I can say with certain fact that the Disney film is actually far more responsible for the public perception and love of Alice today than perhaps ANY other version of the stories, including the books. (The only other possible contender is the video game “American McGee’s Alice” and its sequel, “Alice: Madness Returns.” Incidentally, RIP “Alice: Asylum.” May flights of EA idiots sing thee to thy rest.) A lot of things in this film that weren’t in the books now seem to just be accepted as common knowledge: for example, the Cheshire Cat in the books was an ordinary orange or gray tabby cat. The popular purple-and-pink design you’ll find riffed on in some fashion throughout so many interpretations was ENTIRELY the invention of Disney; it never existed before them, to my knowledge. Similarly, characters and story elements that are in the books but WEREN’T in the Disney film tend to be forgotten, even if they’ve been used and reused in tons and tons of other adaptations: there are plenty of versions of the Duchess and the Gryphon out there, but since neither of them are in the 1951 movie (nor the 2010 feature made by Tim Burton, for that matter), most people forget they even exist.

Even beyond other versions of Alice, however, the film has had a huge impact on pop culture, and even Disney itself, than most other films in the canon. Heck, at Disneyland, right now, there are no less than four rides that all reference “Alice in Wonderland.” Four! And that’s not even counting any other shows or attractions, or even any of the other rides at other parks. Nor is it counting video games, nor the numerous other Alice reimaginings that have come out and in some way been influenced by the 1951 picture JUST from Disney’s vaults alone, nor the ABUNDANCE of merchandise – both official and fanmade – based on this one movie. It isn’t a film that has the depth of plot, character, and thematics as something like “Beauty and the Beast” or “The Lion King,” nor is it as historically important as movies like “Snow White,” but I think “Alice” makes up for it by just being fun. It’s a fun, weird, psychedelic ride through the wilds of the imagination, and really, that’s always been what “Alice” SHOULD be, at the end of the day. Really, given my love of the story, in general, the REAL question should be not why “Alice in Wonderland” ranks so highly for me…but why isn’t it even higher? All I can say is, perhaps the films that do rank above it will offer some explanation… The Top 5 are upon us! The countdown continues tomorrow with my 5th Favorite Disney Movie! HINT: It’s the Only Modern Movie on The Countdown.

#disney #disney 100 #disney 100 special #list #countdown #top 15 disney animated movies #fifteen days of disney magic #number 6 #alice in wonderland #disney alice in wonderland #alice in wonderland 1951

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thealmightyemprex · 1 year

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Sci Fi Month Review 7 : Roger Cormans Fantastic Four

For this review…..We're looking at something special,the unreleased Fantastic Four movie

In this 1994 film Scientist Reed Richards(Alex Hyde-White ) and his companions Sue Storm (Rebecca Staab ),Johnny Storm (Jay Underwood ). and Ben Grimm(Michael Bailey Smith) take a space flight to study a comet,but things go wrong and the four find themselves changed with extraordinary powers and in the clutches of the mysterious figure named Doctor Doom (Joseph Culp )

So Marvel is huge now in mainstream American pop culture ……But that wasnt always the case.I'll just be honest people ,I am hesitant looking at pre Blade/X Men/Spider-Man live action Marvel adaptations cause they can be …Rough .I mean theres some gems ,I will always love The Incredible Hulk TV show starring Bill Bixby and even have a soft spot for the subsequent TV movies based on that show …..But then you have the 1990 Captain America movie ,Nick Fury Agent of SHIELD starring David Hasselhoff and of course,Howard the Duck .One that has always fascinated me is this film because in fandom circles for many years it was infamous for being the Marvel movie so bad ,they never released it (Which isnt the case truth is more complicated and capitalistic ,basically the film was a way to maintain rights ),a film you could only find as bootlegs at conventions,seen as a geeky oddity along the same lines as the Star Wars Holiday Special .Now you can find it on youtube (Which is how I watched it ) ,and having watched it……I think this film is kind of underrated and I am sad it did not get a proper release

So I gotta explain myself :As a kid some of my earliest comic memorie were reading the Stan Lee and Jack Kirby run of Fantastic Four ,and my dad had the complete series of the 90's Fantastic Four cartoon ….So the Fantastic Four have a special place for me .From the pathos of the Things plight ( a man trapped in the body of a monster ),to the sci fi adventure,to the romance of Reed and Susan ,to the grand villainy of Doctor Doom(Heck a slew of great villains),to the feeling of family ,the Fantastic Four appealed to me .....And I am kind of grumpy that Fantastic Four lacks a great adaptation that captures the spirit .Now there is no shortage of Fantastic Four adaptations out there.....But most of them,at least for me,are kind of mid ,specifically the film adaptations have left a lot to be desired .The Tim Story duology has the humor and the four leads relatively right ,but drops the ball in that they dont DO much and completely misrepresent the villains ,and 2015's Fant4stic might be the worst comic book movie I have ever seen .However this film ,while not the definitive film version I crave and not really a great movie .....IS the BEST movie version of the Fantastic Four and a fairly decent super hero film I feel

Now there is a lot I could make fun of ,its very flawed,like keep in mind ....This was produced by Roger Corman ,they didnt have much of a budget ,so the visual effects are a bit cheesy and bad(The CG Human Torch looks like he is straight out of Reboot ) but I dunno I find them charming .The only lack of budget thing that bothered me is the dialogue of Doctor Doom.....In that they didnt either have the money to loop him or think to loop him(HAve him record his lines later ) which is a problem cause Doom is clanking about and is wearing a mask that muffles his speech......So I dont know what the main villain is SAYING sometimes (Credit to Joseph Culp who does project very well so I know 75% of his dialogue but that 25 % is annoying ).My main flaws are the romance elements ,from the creepy Reed falling for Susan who he knew as a child to Ben and ALicia being in love despite meeting ONCE(And even that scene is a bit creepy ).We also have a subplot that frustrates me as the film has two villains ,Doctor Doom of course.....But then you have the Jeweler.Now the Jeweler was supposed to be the Mole Man ,a guy who due to his physical appearence has cast aside society to live underground and was actually the fours first villain.....Till Marvel said "NO you have the rights to this select group of character,not the Mole Man " ,so he was reworked into the Jeweler ....And I think they should have cut him out.Now I like the idea of his subplot ,him falling for Alicia and trying to make her his queen ,inviting Ben who has now become the monstrus thing to joing his group and Ian Trigger actually gives a great performance ,being creepy but also having a sense of sadness (He reminds me of what Tim Burton tried to do with the Penguin in Batman Returns ) ,and while the name is changed,its a good adaptation of the Mole Man .........Pity he adds nothing to the film other then causing the accident that makes the four the four and kidnapping Alicia,things that Doctor Doom couldve easilly done .I mean it folks in the grand scheme of things,the Jewler is pointless,he never fights the Fantastic Four and he just kind of runs off before the third act .I like the performance and the plot idea,but it shouldve been reworked or cut

Thaaaatttt said.....I still like the movie.....BEcause of the Fantastic Four movies.....Its the bonly one to get that Fantastic Four feel to me:A fun lighthearted sci fi adventure and thats what I want from Fantastic Four .The Four feel in character,its accurrate to the source material andits the only one to get Doctor Doom right at ALL(Actually keeping that he is the King of Latveria and hinting at doombots ).Yes the film is low budget but it makes that budget work ,heck the comic accurate sewn spandex costumes for the Four are charming to me because in universe the costumes are made by Susan and they legit look like something she could make herself (An issue I have with a lot of superhero movie costumes ment to be handmade ).Doctor Doom looks like he stepped right out of the comics with the green cloak and tunic combo and metal mask /armor ,I love this look for Doom .The Thing looks pretty good too with an animatronic face that brings to mind the old Jack Kirby design and stunt man Carl Ciafalio gives a good physical performance (THoughI do find it amusing that the Thing is SMALLER then his human persona Ben Grimm,played by Michael Bailey Smith ) .No one in the main cast is bad ,alll these actors are giving it their alll .I have already discussed my soft spot for Ian Trigger as the Jewler, Rebecca Staab is a good Susan ,and Jay Underwood is a suitable Johnny .Michael Bailey Smith is a good Ben Grimm and he also does a decent job voicing the Thing and bringing the appropriate pathos (Though I do wish he had the Things signature Brooklyn accent ).Alex Hyde White might be my favorite Reed Ritchards really selling both the scientist and the leader aspect .Biggest props have to go Joseph Culp,who delivers a great performance despite being in a vfery uncomfortable costume with a mask that muffles his speech,and is able to project well ,make grand gestures (Inspired by real tyrants like Mussolini ) but also make him a fun eloquent villain who still has a sense of humor with a good hero villain dynamic with Reed .Also he is CONSTANTLY evil laughing ,and I dig it

I like this movie ,there is clearly a lot of heart in this movie .....Which makes me sad that the film was mistreated by those at the top.Its not a lost masterpiece ,but it is an highly entertaining B movie that pays tribute to its source material

@ariel-seagull-wings @filmcityworld1 @the-blue-fairie @amalthea9 @goodanswerfoxmonster @themousefromfantasyland @angelixgutz @princesssarisa @theancientvaleofsoulmaking

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katatonicimpression · 6 months

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So, this web series has so far been one long storyline by Derek Landy (now, officially on the shit list), with a few different artists: Marcio Fiorito, Phillip Sevy & Davide Tinto. The colourists were Erick Arciniega at first, and then Fer Sifuentes-Sujo took over. The final chunk of this series is essentially alternating between Fiorito and Tinto.

So, lets talk about the art first.

You would not have guessed that the colourist was the same each week, given how Fiorito's Wanda looked a helluva lot whiter than Tinto's.

Honestly Fiorito's art was just not great. Sorry but it had a lot of pretty rough moments:

Although a few nicer bits here and there. I liked this Sam, for example:

Honestly it feels like it was produced under rushed circumstances.

I actually made an edit of Sevy's Wanda, and yeah I think he did better than the other two.

But, by far the funniest part of the whole thing is how Fiorito would draw Sam clean shaven (which is, imo, correct for 616 Sam) and Tinto would draw him with a beard. And not even a good beard. So, Sam would be starting a conversation with no beard and ending it with one. Staggering. How does this happen? I'd like to imagine that both artists knew this was a thing but were each too stubborn to change.

The Plot:

I don't care it was fine whatever. Purple space aliens.

The Sam:

Early on in this saga, Sam gets the shit beaten out of him by one of the extra tough aliens (a Fear Teacher). This goes on for a really long time. Seriously, you're just scrolling and scrolling for pages watching him get brutalised.

Now, this is pretty bad. In general, I actually have a fairly high tolerance for violence in fiction, and, in general, I am often the one saying (or at least thinking) "stop complaining about bad things happening to characters you like. it's part of the story, it will lead somewhere" so hopefully it's clear that when I say this felt like too much, I really do mean something by it. The proportion of the comic taken up with this was way too high, even if it had paid off in some narrative way.

It didn't, though.

Both during the beatdown and a few times in the subsequent issues, we get dialogue about how Sam is a less formidable fighter than the other avengers. How he's just some guy and doesn't stack up to them. How he and t'challa can't breathe in space (and, like, neither can Tony but go off). It feels very deliberate and honestly kind of tiring, but you would think it was leading to something, right?

Why put this extensive beat down and all this dialogue about Sam's supposed inferiority into the comic if you're not building to something?

The obvious thing to think here is that this story is set in 616, so Sam is absolutely not just some human dude with no powers. He has telepathic powers. He is very much a special little guy. So, you might think that this was how this was going to pay off. That he'd use his abilities in some unexpected way, showing his worth even if he doesn't shoot lasers.

That doesn't happen, though. I don't think Landy knows that Sam isn't human.

The other option, and what I think (very charitably) Landy was trying to do, was show Sam being Mr Diplomat, and talking to the aliens and that's how he's useful. He gets healed in a magical space healing tube for a bit, then is the main guy who talks to the aliens throughout. There are two problems with this.

The first problem is that Landy's Sam just feels like Steve. And not even a good Steve, like, a very bland version of Steve. Sam's personality is not present when he's talking to the aliens. He's all "sir" and "ma'am" and this very formal "military guy being diplomatic" thing, and that is not 616 Sam. He's a talker, yes. He's empathetic and willing to hear people out, but he's not a soldier, he's not a politician or a diplomat or anything like that. And he's funnier, more brazen. He'd be willing to insult the aliens on purpose, is my point. Landy is hardly the first writer to deliver the blandest possible mischaracterisation of Sam, but it's annoying every time and I think we tolerate it too much.

The second problem, is that Landy does not seem willing to commit to actually having Sam succeed. Sam's job is to be the guy who talks politics to the aliens. Unless it's an important moment or a cool, righteous hero line, then Carol has to say it.

Seriously, that's what happens. Sam's function is to provide exposition, and to vaguely endanger himself in ways that have no consequence. Then, he steps aside to let Carol deliver any and all important dialogue including righteous political shit that surely, surely, you would give to the literal captain america character? No?

So, if the intent was to resolve this by saying Sam adds value through his "talking to people about politics and idealism" skills, then that intention never made it to the final page.

No, what we get is a story that emphasises how much the writer thinks Sam is useless and is worse than everyone else. He just says it over and over again and has an alien beat the shit out of him.

Right at the end of the penultimate issue, Sam comes face to face with a Fear Teacher (I believe the same one who nearly killed him). You would have thought that this would prompt a second fight between them, this time Sam wins, showing that he is, in fact, an impressive super hero in his own right. But no. Instead, in the final issue we cut to Sam already fleeing down a corridor away from the guy.

You guys I'm so mad about this and it's literally just a dumb online mini comic wtf

#salt #like #just so much salt #i should probably delete this #too much sodium is bad for your heart #sam wilson

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winterhalters · 1 year

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Hey there! I wanted to know... Did Athénaïs de Montespan really pour some love potion into King Louis' cup? And did she ever tried to poison La Fontanges or some of her rivals? Was all of this some wild rumours, or did she do it, like La Brinvilliers had done not so long before? The Affaire des Poissons is so interesnting... Thanks.

hi! i don't think i've ever read a more eloquent version of 'no she did not' than Vizetelly's, so allow me to quote him on that:

One of the principal charges brought against Mme. de Montespan in the Affair of the Poisons was that she had repaired on various occasions to the abodes of notorious sorceresses and poisoners in order to indulge in extravagant practices such as Black Masses, invocations, and witchcraft. Those practices had begun, it was alleged, before she became the King's favourite. How came it to pass, however, that she had recourse to them afterwards ? Where were the four men of the Royal Bodyguard who invariably attended her whenever she drove out without the King ? Where did she leave them, where did she leave her coach, and the rest of her numerous escort—all those folk whose silence she would have had to purchase with hard cash ? How did it happen that all those alleged comings and goings so long escaped the notice of the King, who was kept informed of everything likely to interest him, and whose partiality for "police news" was as keen as became that of his great-grandson, Louis XV, and that of his long-subsequent successor, Napoleon III?

He adds a bit later on:

In accordance with the aphorism that there can be no smoke without fire, it has been held that if the prisoners and witnesses in the Poisons Affair mentioned Mme. de Montespan's name so often, there must necessarily have been something against her. But M. Lemoine points out that the position in regard to Marshal de Luxembourg was virtually the same ; though it has been proved that most, if not all, of the charges against that illustrious soldier were entirely false. Another eminent military man, Antoine de Pas, Marquis de Feuquieres, who wrote the first important work on tactics ever produced in France, and who was momentarily implicated in the Poisons Case, summed the latter up in a sentence which deserves to be quoted : "A few professional poisoners found a means to prolong their lives by denouncing a number of people of position, whose arrest became necessary, and whose cases had to be investigated, by which means they [the poisoners] gained time." "If Mme. de Montespan's name," says M. Lemoine," was repeated in the Affair even more frequently than Luxembourg's, that was because several persons imagined that the magistrates, in alarm at the mere mention of her name, would prefer to throw up the whole prosecution rather than involve themselves in such a thorny business. To more than one of the accused, then, that name must have occurred like a kind of liberating talisman.

As for Fontanges' death, her body was basically a case study for pregnant women dying in childbirth. I don't have her most recent biography with me right now but from what i remember i think we have yet to determine a cause of death, which was unfortunately 100% natural. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong with her pregnancy, but Athénaïs had drawn a target on her own back long before Fontanges even passed away.

#i also think most people who were not directly involved with the court or were not part of the inner circle #probably did not know that her favor had already soured a while ago #this combined with her political enemies knowing full well she only needed a shove to be cast aside proved to be fatal for her #it's a deadly combination #anon #ask

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nothwell · 6 months

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Hello! I was wondering if you could share any tips on outlining, if you do so? I'm trying my second manuscript and I haven't found anything that really helps yet.

Hi there! So my outlining process has evolved over the past ten years since I first started writing Mr Warren's Profession. But the short version is: I write a book like sewing a quilt or patching a rip. I have a few key cathartic emotional beats I want to bring to life and I fill in the gaps between them with whatever is necessary to make the story make sense.

Beyond that, most of my outlining is just rapidly writing in brackets the absolutely necessary things a scene needs to get across and then going back and expanding on that in actual prose.

Examples from Mr Warren's Profession under the cut.

THIS SUMMARY:

[aubrey hits the pavement for new mills, old mills, counting houses, customs offices, considers moving to Liverpool, forgets to eat, etc., then gets a telegram from lindsey being like “miss ur faice” and goes to visit in london, telling himself he can also use the trip to look for london work; in reality he relishes every moment spent with lindsey, who lets him forget his troubles and relax.]

BECOMES THIS SCENE:

In Manchester the next morning, Aubrey shaved, dressed, and opened the door to go out before he remembered he’d been sacked. He stared into the empty hallway with unseeing eyes. Then he shut the door to put his head in his hands and think the problem over.

He had the whole day to himself. No responsibilities, no appointments, no schedule of any kind.

And he hadn’t the first idea what to do with it.

The day yawned before him, empty hour upon empty hour gaping into infinity. The thought of it made his stomach knot. His savings wouldn’t last forever.

One short trip out to buy a newspaper later, he pored over the help-wanted advertisements. There weren’t as many as he’d hoped. Still, he circled in pencil every business seeking a clerk. Tucking the paper under his arm, he ventured out into the city.

The first mill seemed promising. Its manager, Mr. Dobson, listened attentively as Aubrey recounted his relevant work experience.

“What did you say your name was?” Mr. Dobson asked when he’d finished. “Warren?”

“Yes, sir.”

Mr. Dobson frowned thoughtfully. “One moment.”

Aubrey waited as Mr. Dobson flipped through the documents on his desk. At length he produced a telegram and brought it close to his nose. His eyes flicked over the words. His frown deepened. He glanced back and forth between the telegram and Aubrey’s face. Then he put the telegram down on his desk, his hand over the text.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m afraid the position’s been filled.”

Aubrey mirrored his frown, confused, but thanked him for his time all the same.

Similar scenes played out in every subsequent office Aubrey visited. One manager shut the door in his face the moment he said his name. Another was less careful than Mr. Dobson in keeping his telegram’s contents secret. The body of the message remained hidden, but Aubrey caught the sender’s name. Block capitals spelt out SMITH.

Aubrey’s eyes widened. He corrected his expression and returned his gaze to the manager’s face in time to see a responsive flicker of fear in the man’s eyes.

The contents of the telegram were easy enough for Aubrey to guess. He forced a smile and cut the interview short. No sense in wasting the manager’s time, much less his own.

As he walked down the road away from the office, it took considerable effort to keep his chin up. Internally, his emotions volleyed between despair and rage. And yet, for all his anger, he knew he had no one to blame for his predicament but himself. Smith didn’t need to stretch the truth to give any prospective employer more than enough reason not to want Aubrey in their office.

When Aubrey reached the next business on his list, he stared up at the door and found he couldn’t muster the will to knock. He turned and started back for home. A hot packet of chips from a stall along the way improved his mood somewhat, but his mind remained overset by hopeless dread. Soon he wouldn’t be able to afford food at all.

Aubrey trudged up the stairs to his garret well after seven. He made a game attempt at reading The Engineer as he finished off his chips, but couldn’t focus. With a frustrated huff, he crumpled up the empty, greasy newsprint wrapper and chucked it into his wastepaper bin. Then he went to bed and lay staring up into the darkness.

Smith had destroyed all Aubrey’s hopes of future employment in Manchester. Aubrey didn’t want to leave the center of the industrial revolution, the home of Mechanics’ Institutes and engineering schools and the rush and roar of iron and steam. But Manchester was hardly the only city in England.

London, for example. London had hundreds of offices and counting-houses and businesses who’d never heard of Smith, much less received his telegram.

It also had Lindsey.

THIS SUMMARY:

[aubrey falls into a routine of go out, look for work, come home, eat a hot meal, retire to a warm bed, fuck his handsome boyfriend, and get up the next day to do it all over again. When the weekend arrives, lindsey invites him out to the theatre again. Aubrey points out he’s hardly dressed for it, lindsey offers to loan him clothes again or buy him a new suit outright.]

BECOMES THIS SCENE:

The next day, Aubrey boarded the train to London. The ride took up most of the morning. Aubrey spent it combing The London Star for potential leads. By the time he arrived at his destination, he had a list of offices to visit, sorted by neighborhood, arranged in a loop through the city which would bring him back to the station by seven and home in Manchester by midnight. Before he visited any of them, he stopped at the Post Office to mail a letter.

As he’d supposed, no one in London had heard of Smith. They’d also never heard of Mr. Jennings or Rook Mill. Despite this handicap, Aubrey made some favorable impressions. He felt much better about his prospects than he had the previous evening, and relaxed enough to nap on the train back to Manchester.

When he returned to his garret, he found a letter shoved under the considerable crack between the bottom of the door and the threshold. He picked it up with a smile, which widened as he opened the envelope and saw it was exactly what he’d hoped—a reply to the letter he’d sent Lindsey that morning.

The day after that, he made another trip to London, reading the same paper and making a similar list. But the labyrinthine route he planned didn’t return him to the train station. Instead, after walking the city from noon to dusk, he turned towards Belgrave Square and landed on Lindsey’s doorstep.

Mr. Hudson raised an eyebrow at his appearance—the mud and soot and smog hadn’t been kind to his only suit—but led him in to the library regardless. There, Lindsey sat reading a fat leatherbound volume. When he saw who stood in the doorway, he broke into a grin and leapt out of his chair.

“Aubrey!”

Relief washed over Aubrey as he returned Lindsey’s grin. He’d felt conflicted about inviting himself over Lindsey’s house. He hated to be presumptuous. Yet it gnawed at him to spend so much time in London and none of it seeing Lindsey. The letter he’d received in reply, while affirmative, retained the perfunctory tone required to give the impression that their relationship remained businesslike. As such, Aubrey couldn’t quite convince himself his presence was truly welcome.

Now, however, with Lindsey pulling him into a strong embrace, Aubrey had to admit he might be wanted.

Aubrey leaned into Lindsey’s shoulder, enjoying the warmth of his body, the secure hold of his arms across his back, and the gentle nudge of his chin against the top of Aubrey’s head. Lindsey loosened his grip to brush his fingers through Aubrey’s hair. Aubrey tilted his face up for a kiss, which Lindsey provided with enthusiasm.

“Did you have any luck?” Lindsey asked when he broke it off. “Are you hungry at all? Thirsty?”

“Tired,” said Aubrey, but he did so with a smile. “You?”

“Oh, fine as ever,” said Lindsey. “Please, sit—”

And Aubrey found himself ushered into a plush armchair with a glass of brandy by his elbow.

“Really,” Aubrey began, “you don’t have to—”

“Nonsense,” said Lindsey, dragging his own chair close to Aubrey’s. “Now, tell me everything.”

He put a hand over Aubrey’s, thumb rubbing across his knuckles. Aubrey turned his palm up to squeeze Lindsey’s in return, and told all. Lindsey’s hand clenched his as he described what Smith had done to his reputation in Manchester, but relaxed as he moved on to his greater success in London. Just as he finished, Charles arrived and announced dinner was ready.

“Dinner?” said Aubrey after Lindsey sent Charles on his way.

“Dinner,” Lindsey confirmed with a smile. It waned when Aubrey didn’t return it. “Is that not amenable to you?”

Aubrey, recalling his last dinner at Lindsey’s house, hesitated. “Won’t your sister mind?”

“She’s visiting Lady Pelham in Yorkshire. There’s no one here tonight but us.”

And the servants, Aubrey didn’t say.

But when he followed Lindsey to the dining room, the only servant there was Charles. The table was set far more simply than at the dinner party, with fewer courses and more familiar fare. Lindsey watched Aubrey carefully as the latter took his first spoonful of soup.

“Is it…?” Lindsey began after Aubrey swallowed.

Aubrey smiled. “It’s delicious. Thank you.”

Lindsey relaxed and dug into his own bowl with a fascinating combination of relish and decorum.

“What were you reading when I came in?” asked Aubrey.

Lindsey swallowed. “Poe. Tales of the Grotesque and Arabesque. Are you familiar with him?”

Aubrey hated to disappoint Lindsey with his ignorance, but he couldn’t pretend to know what he didn’t. “What sort of stories does he write?”

Far from looking disappointed, Lindsey perked up. “Promise you’ll stop me if I bore you.”

Aubrey nodded, and Lindsey launched into a passionate explanation lasting through dessert. He had his dessert spoon in hand, and had used to to poke at his sorbet no fewer than three times, but hadn’t brought any of it to his mouth—he kept pulling it away to throw his arms out wide in broad, emphatic gestures. Aubrey held back a fond smile at the sight.

“Doyle owes Poe a greater debt than he realizes,” Lindsey concluded. “No matter what Holmes would say on the matter.”

Aubrey supposed he ought to read it for himself, and said as much. Lindsey, who’d finally managed to sneak in a mouthful of sorbet, gulped it down to grin at him.

“What have you been reading?” Lindsey asked.

“Nothing so fantastical as Poe,” said Aubrey. “Just The Engineer.”

Lindsey shrugged. “I’m interested.” When Aubrey continued to hesitate, he added, “You’ve listened to me prattle on about Poe for the better part of two hours.”

But Aubrey, glimpsing the clock on the wall behind Lindsey, shook his head. “I ought to return to Manchester.”

Lindsey’s face fell. “What? Why?”

“Because that’s where I live.”

“Well, yes, but—it seems dashed inconvenient for you to travel all the way back there, just to return to London in the morning.”

Privately, Aubrey agreed. Aloud, he said, “What else can I do?”

Lindsey stared at him. “Stay here, of course.”

The offer lifted Aubrey’s heart to new heights. He swallowed hard to put it back in its place. “I don’t want to impose.”

“It’s hardly an imposition if I invite you.”

“After I’ve already invited myself over for dinner.”

Lindsey scoffed. “That’s not—dash it, surely you know you’re welcome here at any hour?”

Aubrey didn’t, actually. Such a notion hadn’t entered into his wildest fantasies. He knew he ought to respond with gratitude, but shock trapped the words in his throat.

When Aubrey failed to reply, Lindsey added, “I’m happy to host you for as long as you remain in London. Perpetually, if need be. It’d be my pleasure.”

Aubrey coughed. “Not perpetually. Just until I find employment. And a place of my own. Shouldn’t take more than a week.”

“It could take a decade for all I care,” Lindsey said with a laugh. It died when he saw Aubrey’s face at the thought of remaining unemployed for so long.

“A week,” Aubrey insisted.

Lindsey’s smile returned, weaker than before. “As you wish.”

Aubrey mirrored it more sincerely. “Thank you.”

They retired to the library after dinner. Lindsey happily handed his book over to Aubrey and selected another from the well-stocked shelves. Aubrey settled on one end of a long sofa. Lindsey stretched out on the remainder of it, the back of his head coming to rest on Aubrey’s thigh. Aubrey cast a bemused look down at him. It took Lindsey a moment to catch it.

“This all right?” he asked, peering up from his book with wide eyes, all the more ridiculous for being upside-down.

Aubrey bit back a laugh and nodded. Lindsey gave him a concerned frown in return.

“Are you sure?” he said, starting to sit up. “Do you need more room?”

But Aubrey put a hand on his forehead and gently pushed him back down. Lindsey acquiesced, his head rubbing against Aubrey’s thigh as he re-settled. Aubrey kept his hand on Lindsey’s curls and trailed his fingers through them as he read.

Aubrey hadn’t read fiction since he’d been a boy in the workhouse, piecing together scraps of improving penny literature donated to the Sunday schoolhouse years before. Poe proved leagues above anything churned out by the authors of Jessica’s First Prayer and Froggy’s Little Brother. Yet even the tension of The Fall of the House of Usher couldn’t keep Aubrey awake after the day—the week—he’d had. His eyes burned with exhaustion. He’d just made up his mind to soldier on without complaint when his half-stifled yawn caught Lindsey’s attention.

“Sorry,” Aubrey said in response to Lindsey’s quirked eyebrow. “It’s not the book, it’s—”

“—staying up past eleven after rising at five to tramp all over London on foot?” Lindsey ventured a self-deprecating smile.

Aubrey blinked at him, chuckled, then bowed his head in defeat.

Lindsey shut his own book, plucked Poe from Aubrey’s hands, and marked the page with a red ribbon from the library table drawer. Then he tugged the weary Aubrey up from the sofa, put an arm around his waist, and led him down the hall to bed.

The soft, warm bed began lulling Aubrey to sleep as soon as he crawled between its sheets. He stayed awake just long enough to feel Lindsey’s lean limbs curl around him. Then he was out.

He awoke the next morning with his cheek on Lindsey’s breastbone. He lifted his head from the steady rise and fall of Lindsey’s chest to gaze upon his sleeping face. The temptation of his parted lips proved too much for Aubrey. He crawled up to kiss them. Lindsey, half-waking, gave a hum of pleasure. Aubrey pulled away to watch his blue eyes flutter open.

“Good morning,” said Aubrey, unable to suppress a self-satisfied grin.

Lindsey echoed the sentiment and leaned in for another kiss. Aubrey happily complied, rearranging his hips to line up with Lindsey’s. As he’d suspected, Lindsey’s prick stood as ready as his own. They’d both gone to bed naked, which made it easy for Aubrey to frot their cocks together between their bellies. He grinned wickedly down at Lindsey as the latter’s throat bobbed in a swallow of eager anticipation. Then Aubrey rolled his hips. Lindsey arched his back and spent in short order. Aubrey’s crisis followed close behind.

An hour or so after a more drawn-out encore, Aubrey rose, washed, and dressed to hunt for work again. Lindsey, still abed and watching throughout, persuaded him to stay just long enough to gulp down a hot cup of tea and a biscuit. He couldn’t, however, persuade him to come back to bed, or to take a holiday from his quest.

Even after rising late and leaving Lindsey’s house later still, waking up in London rather than Manchester gave Aubrey an early start on his search for employment. He covered more ground than the two preceding days, following up on the more promising offices he’d visited on his first trip into the city.

When he returned to Belgrave Square that evening, Lindsey awaited him with a ready smile, a hot meal, and hours of fascinating conversation interspersed with quiet leisure. That night, Aubrey slept better than ever before, no doubt aided by the sweet release that came with clenching Lindsey’s cock between his own slick thighs.

The rest of the week fell into the same routine; Aubrey woke in Lindsey’s bed, marched all over London, and returned to Lindsey in the evening. Throughout the day, the thought of his Lindsey kept his chin up and a smile on his lips. He could happily spend forever like this—provided he found employment soon.

Saturday arrived. Aubrey rose at half-past six and began to dress. A low grumble from Lindsey stopped him.

“Where’re you going?” Lindsey mumbled, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

Aubrey, who’d bent to put on stockings, abandoned the effort with one off and one on. “To look for work.”

“On a Saturday?” Lindsey sat up and blinked at him. “Who’ll be hiring on a Saturday?”

“Plenty of people, or so I’m hoping. Most offices should be open for half the day.”

“Good God,” Lindsey groaned.

Aubrey bristled. “We can’t all afford to live on five days’ pay.”

“No, I know, it’s just—it doesn’t seem fair.”

“It isn’t. And yet, here we are.”

Lindsey sighed. “You’ll be back in the afternoon, then? We could attend the theatre tonight. Or the opera.”

Aubrey preferred the theatre, but a more pressing concern pushed itself to the forefront of his mind. “I haven’t anything to wear.”

“Borrow something of mine. Or if you return early enough, have a tailor come ‘round and take your measurements. It wouldn’t be ready for another few days, but you’d have it by next Saturday, and then we could…” He trailed off at the look on Aubrey’s face.

“I should probably find work before I buy a new suit,” said Aubrey.

Lindsey frowned in confusion. “I meant I would buy it for you.”

Aubrey had suspected as much. His eyes flicked over to his only jacket, hanging off the back of one of Lindsey’s chairs. Its battered, dusty elbows and frayed cuffs looked even more worn in the midst of all Lindsey’s luxuries. Aubrey couldn’t deny it needed replacing. A new suit might even better his employment prospects. And yet the thought of Lindsey spending so much tied Aubrey’s guts into knots. Knowing Lindsey was rich as any Rothschild did nothing to ease Aubrey’s conscience. The money might be meaningless to Lindsey, but it meant everything to Aubrey.

Rather than voicing any of his actual concerns, Aubrey replied, “I had a notion we might visit the Crystal Palace. They’ve got an electrical exhibition on.”

Lindsey would likely be terribly bored, but Aubrey wouldn’t need a new suit to attend.

To Aubrey’s surprise, Lindsey didn’t seem at all bored by the prospect. On the contrary, his face lit up as if it, too, were powered by electricity. He announced his delight at Aubrey’s suggestion and shrugged on a dressing gown to cross the room and give Aubrey a celebratory kiss. Aubrey found himself smiling in return as Lindsey ran a hand through his hair and on down his cheek.

THESE SUMMARIES:

[Aubrey finds a great clerking job at some kind of office and is about to start when he gets the telegram from mr. Jennings (goes back to Manchester to pack up his stuff? Which is still there because he’s paid up through the end of the month?). Aubrey is torn between the sensible option of clerking and the fantastical possibility of getting started on his dream job. Lindsey is like “FOLLOW YOUR HEART!” because he’s too rich to ever have to deal with reality. Still, the lure of engineering is too much for aubrey to resist, and so he returns to manchester]

[aubrey explains he doesn’t want to work under lindsey again; lindsey offers to sell the mill back to clarence; aubrey says that’s not fair to the rest of the workforce, plus he probably wouldn’t keep even a coal-passing job under clarence; explains that this London clerking gig is the first job he’s acquired without personal connections; feels he hasn’t ever really earned anything in life; lindsey’s like “okay sure let’s pretend your friendship with certain individuals gave you employment advantages; those advantages wouldn’t have done shit for you if you weren’t a hard worker. Would Smith have done half so well in your place?” and aubrey points out smith is doing exactly as well as him; better, in fact. Lindsey doesn’t have much to say to that, apart from: “Seems like your mind’s already made up; no coal-passing for you.” And aubrey’s like “yeah but…. Engineering…” and lindsey’s like “ah.” And aubrey falls all over himself trying to explain his reasoning and apologize to lindsey at the same time but lindsey’s just like “whatevs, FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS~!” and aubrey can’t quite believe anyone would say that and mean it sincerely but if anyone would it’d be his precious puppy lindsey. The dolt.]

[lindsey is like “never let someone else stop you from going for what you want most” and aubrey is like “oh yeah like ur dad and school” and lindsey’s like “well, yeah, that, and also…” and aubrey is confused about what else lindsey could want most that anyone would try to keep him away from and then he’s like “oh wait his friends and sister tried to keep him away from me” and then aubrey is overcome by the realization that he is what lindsey wants most and doesn’t really know what to do with this information—quick, cover up your emotions with physical displays of affection!]

BECOME THIS SCENE:

Despite spending most of the night and all the next morning’s train ride considering the problem, Aubrey came no closer to a solution by the time he reached Lindsey’s doorstep. He found Lindsey at breakfast, surprised at his early arrival but delighted to see him. Aubrey sat beside Lindsey as he was bid and made a valiant effort at returning Lindsey’s joyful expression, but could do little more than push his bacon around his plate.

“Is there anything else you’d prefer?” Lindsey asked.

Aubrey jerked to attention. “No, sorry, it’s—I haven’t any appetite.”

“Everything all right?” said Lindsey, frowning. A handsome frown, but the sight cause a pang in Aubrey’s chest regardless.

“Fine,” Aubrey hurried to reassure him.

Lindsey hesitated, then spoke again. “Forgive me, it isn’t that I don’t believe you, it’s just…”

“…you don’t believe me?” A wistful smile tugged the corners of Aubrey’s mouth.

Lindsey mirrored his expression. “If there’s anything I can do…”

“I’ll ask,” said Aubrey, the lie coming to his lips even easier the second time.

Lindsey’s forced smile did nothing to alleviate Aubrey’s guilt. Aubrey sighed and set down his fork.

“I received a letter from Mr. Jennings,” he said. Lindsey’s eyebrows rose against his reluctance to explain further, so he added, “He’s offered me a job as a coal-passer.”

“Excellent!” said Lindsey. “What’s a coal-passer?”

“The person responsible for keeping the engine fed.”

“Ah,” said Lindsey. “And this… distresses you?”

“I have to refuse,” said Aubrey. “A coal-passer doesn’t earn near so much as a clerk. And I can’t return to Manchester. Not when I’ve everything waiting for me in London.”

Lindsey nodded along, but his brows remained knitted. Aubrey returned to his plate. He poked a few morsels, then dared another glance at Lindsey, whose expression hadn’t changed.

“What?” said Aubrey.

“You don’t seem entirely at peace with that decision.”

Aubrey, unused to being so transparent, hurriedly dropped his gaze and replied to the table rather than to Lindsey. “It doesn’t matter. I’m moving to London. I’ve a new job. A good job. I’d be an idiot to turn it down to shovel coal.”

The room fell silent, save for the tines of Aubrey’s fork scraping his plate as he stabbed at his eggs.

“Is it because coal-passing has more to do with engineering than clerking?” Lindsey asked.

Aubrey brought his head up sharp to regard Lindsey, whose confused frown had given way to concern.

“It does,” Aubrey admitted. “But that’s irrelevant.”

“But if you’d prefer it—”

“—then I’m an ass, and deserve to starve in the gutter, which is where I’ll end up if I—” Aubrey swallowed. “And besides, if I return to Rook Mill, I become your employee again.”

“I could sell it back to Clarence.”

Aubrey blinked. “What?”

“Clarence Rook,” said Lindsey. “If I return the mill to him, then you’d be his employee, not mine.”

Aubrey stared at him, unable to comprehend the notion of a massive property transfer for no other purpose than his personal comfort. “Mr. Rook would slash wages back to where they were when you acquired the mill. And he’d sack me again in the bargain.”

Lindsey appeared shocked. “Why would he do that?”

In lieu of explaining exactly what Lindsey’s dearest friend had imparted to Aubrey during their meeting, Aubrey replied, “Because I’ve a habit of violence towards my fellow staff.”

“Only under duress.”

Aubrey shook his head. “This clerking job—it’s the only one I’ve ever earned. Every other position I’ve held has resulted from personal connections. My—” Aubrey scrambled for the correct word. “—friendship with Mr. Jennings convinced him to hire me on as an office boy, and before that—the Post Office didn’t hire me for my brains.”

“Then they were fools,” Lindsey replied with conviction. “You’re brilliant.”

Aubrey’s instinctive protest stuck in his throat.

Lindsey spoke on. “Let’s pretend your friendship with certain individuals provided an advantage in seeking employment. What good would this advantage have done if you hadn’t proved yourself worthy of the positions you held? Would Smith have done half as well in your place?”

“Smith still has the job I was sacked from. I’d say he’s done better.”

Lindsey, who’d opened his mouth to continue, choked off whatever he’d intended to say.

Aubrey supposed he ought to feel victorious. He’d made his point and silenced his opponent. By the rules of logical debate, he’d won. Yet all he felt was a growing, gaping void in his chest. His soul threatened to sink into it.

Lindsey’s grimace became a sad smile. “Your mind’s made up, then. Clerking over coal-passing.”

“Yes, but—” Aubrey stopped himself.

“But what?”

“Nothing. It’s not rational.”

“To the devil with rational,” said Lindsey. “What is it?”

Aubrey forced the words out in a rush. “Clerking in London would be a step away from engineering. Likely forever. If I start as a coal-passer, I could learn on the job and advance to fireman, second engineer, engineer—”

“So become a coal-passer.”

“At what cost?” said Aubrey. “It wouldn’t be fair to Mr. Lawson. I’ve promised to start first thing on Wednesday.”

“What do you owe him? Write an apologetic letter and wash your hands of it.”

“It wouldn’t be fair to you!” Aubrey blurted.

Lindsey sat back and stared at him. “What?”

“If I return to Manchester, it’s farther from you—and we’ve already planned that I’d move to London so we might be—” Aubrey cleared his throat and looked to his plate, stabbing his eggs again. “It’s not fair to you to have me run off, not after you’ve been so obliging. Putting up with my nonsense.”

“What nonsense?”

“This,” Aubrey didn’t say. Instead, he replied, “You wanted to go to the theatre, and I dragged you all over the electrical exhibition.”

“I suggested we attend the theatre,” said Lindsey, enunciating each word with careful patience. “You suggested we visit the Palace. I agreed, and had a wonderful time. We both did. That’s not nonsense. You listen to my prattling about Poe and Braddon and Doyle and heaven knows what else. You overlook my blunders—”

Aubrey lifted his head. “What blunders?”

Lindsey half-smiled. “I asked you if you rode horses.”

“That’s—” Aubrey coughed. “Anyone could make that mistake.”

Lindsey’s sheepish smile broadened. “I gave you a calling-card case.”

Aubrey, who hadn’t realized Lindsey recognized his error, flushed scarlet. “And I cherish it!”

“You do?” Lindsey sounded genuinely surprised.

Aubrey thrust a determined hand into his jacket pocket and produced the object in question. Silver flashed in the morning sunlight. Lindsey stared at it. Then a tentative grin appeared on his face, and he closed his hands over both the case and Aubrey’s palm.

“My point,” he said softly, gazing into Aubrey’s eyes, “is I’m delighted to see you happy. And stricken to see you miserable. Engineering—if you could’ve seen your face at the exhibition!—it makes you so—” He shook his head. “I can’t bear to watch you throw that away. You shouldn’t let anyone stop you from striving for what you want most. Least of all me.”

Aubrey’s reply—that Lindsey was what he wanted most—stilled on his tongue at Lindsey’s tone. It sounded as though Lindsey knew precisely how it felt to be kept from his most heartfelt desires. What could prevent one of England’s richest, handsomest bachelors from having everything he wanted, Aubrey couldn’t fathom. He thought back on what Miller and Graves had told him of Lindsey’s school days. That must be what Lindsey meant; his father keeping him from school, and his friends shielding him from romantic developments.

Then Aubrey recalled why Graves and Miller had wanted to speak with him in the first place. Why Rook and Miss Althorp had done the same. Every person in Lindsey’s life wanted Aubrey out of it. And Lindsey wanted—

Aubrey.

Lindsey wanted Aubrey most of all.

The revelation swept over Aubrey, flooding his mind with panic.

“Are you all right?” Lindsey asked.

Aubrey didn’t trust himself to speak. He stood and closed the short distance to Lindsey’s chair. Lindsey looked up at him, his stunning blue eyes wide in confusion. Aubrey closed his own and swooped down to press a ferocious kiss on Lindsey’s parted lips. Lindsey returned it with equal passion. When the awkward position grew too much to bear, Aubrey pulled back to rest his forehead against Lindsey’s.

“I suppose I’ll be an engineer,” said Aubrey, still not daring to open his eyes.

Lindsey kissed him again. “A brilliant one.”

Aubrey laughed and nuzzled Lindsey’s throat.

Nowadays my outline looks like writing out almost the entire scene in brackets, then going back and editing out the brackets, fixing the tenses, and cleaning it up until it's prose.

I'd compare it to learning to draw. At first the sketch and the final drawing look wildly different. But if you put the hours into sketching, eventually the sketches themselves become final drawings and you have to do very little to "finish" them.

Hoping any of this was helpful to you, and thank you for asking!

#ask #mr warren's profession #writeblr #aubrey & lindsey #aubrey and lindsey #process

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