#and sometimes I’m very tired about it

[bisexual-nightmare]

I know gender is meaningless and is whatever I want it to be but man, sometimes figuring out presentation really sucks.

Sometimes I dream of top surgery. Fuck boobs, right? They’re unwieldy and annoying and sweat gets stuck in there and I hate hate hate when a partner touches them in a sexual manner and I suspect there are days where the word ‘dysphoric’ really applies re: my relationship to my chest - and other days they’re not enough and I somehow want more. I own push ups and sports bras both. And like, fine, whatever. I get it. Genderfluid means sometimes even I don’t know what I wanna be, I guess, it’s fine. And it’s not just boobs! It’s hair, it’s clothing, it’s makeup, it’s everything. Anything.

And it’s so frustrating not knowing. Some of it’s my other psychological issues I bet and some of it’s probably lingering societal pressure, intended or otherwise, but mostly it’s just. Exhausting. Do I want to tip masc today or do I want to go femme? Do I want to exist somewhere in the middle, or do I want to embody both, or do I want to baffle the world with an expression they can’t even begin to pick apart? Sometimes I know! Sometimes I can put together a plan and it feels amazing when it all comes together, like my skin sits right, and the day is glorious.

And sometimes it sits right, but only for a little while. Only an hour or two or five and then it all starts to itch again, and I get tense and snappish and seethe under the discomfort, at the betrayal of my own mind and my own body, and I hate it, I hate my body, I hate myself. And I curl up in bed full of self loathing and exhaustion and that endless, interminable itch.

Anyway. I don’t have any solution for this, obviously. I really do believe that gender is whatever you want/need it to be, and presentation should be fun and enjoyable. It’s freeing, not being trapped into the mindset that things have to be one singular correct way.

But sometimes freedom is just. so. exhausting, and I just want to rest.

[rw-ascension-au]

More survivor stuff

[pink-lemonadefairy]

[fuckdamn]

everytime i’m faced with wild overt misogyny that’s just platformed like it’s nothing i remind myself that people don’t actually have to feel this way about women. men are fully capable of treating women like human beings and viewing them as such. “but socialization but male fantasies but patriatchy speaks through us even when we don’t recognize it” sure but actually regardless there exist men who are fundamentally not raging misogynists and they generally seem happier and better adjusted. misogyny to me isn’t disappointing because “oh i can’t believe Men, as an essentialized category of person, are like this” it’s disappointing because people make the choice to be like this. “it’s my biological imperative as a man to dominate you” okay well it’s my biological imperative as a freaky bitch to dominate you so what now. what biological imperative is making you comment “onlyfans detected opinion rejected” on every picture of any attractive woman. i think i will always be understood by most people as a woman and i’m learning to accept that and trying to like it but misogyny makes me feel very trapped of course. but misogyny is a choice. which means some people make the choice to be misogynistic which is profoundly frustrating. but many other people choose not to be actively misogynistic and i believe anyone could choose not to be actively misogynistic if they wanted. so it’s a whole thing

[fluffydice]

Uhmmm what if instead of Master Splinter his name was Master Freak. And his turtle sons were Freakytello, Michelfreakalo, Freakynardo, and Raph.

[deus-ex-mona]

my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:

[tovarishch-dyke]

I’m like Johnny Truant in the tags of every goddamn post I make or reblog on this site and I’m not apologizing. If you want me to apologize come over to my house and you can talk to the minotaur about it

[braisedhoney]

pins up a sign on the wall outside the captain’s quarters that says “ask me about my re-emerging undertale fixation, i am dying and we are literally in space”

[skhardwarevers1]

does everything suck or is it just me being over dramatic

[tacit-semantics]

My stomach really hurts and I am frankly very mad about it

[immortalarizona]

this is the third time (at least) my mom has asked me if I think I’m aroace because of that one time I had a bad time at a dance with a boy when I was fifteen and now I believe I’m unworthy of romance and actually maybe I’m just scared of rejection and I just convinced myself I was aroace so that I wouldn’t have to face it and I’ve had to explain to her that no, mom, that’s not how this works :/

and she wonders why I don’t like talking to her about being queer.

[fierykitten2]

Headcanon: *I had an explanation here but I didn’t seem to know what I was talking about and I was waffling* the events of F-Zero GX (including Story Mode) occurred in between the second and third Smashes and he’s had to work around hiding his powers since then (I headcanon occasionally he grows massive falcon wings because of that belt) and Mewtwo helped starting with its return half way through the fourth Smash (given it’s the only fighter to know about this due to its Psychic powers) and the events of Metroid Dread occurred during the fifth Smash and once Samus returned she had a similar deal with her Metroid DNA (which still tries to take over every once in a while). The two of them now confide in each other more than ever and Mewtwo has taught Falcon how to tame Samus’s Metroid DNA every time it tries to take over

[songofwizardry]

so I had the summer (in reality, like… almost three months) off from one of my volunteering roles and I’m 20 minutes into my first meeting back and I am already so irritated and angry. maybe this is Not A Good Sign.

[im-still-watching-anime]

whyyy do some people flirt by treating you like a child

[smilesrobotlover]

Does anyone wanna do Blorbo hours with love at twilight gang

Blorbo hours is just where you ask a character a question and I answer in character.

[innko]

didn’t make it to church today, and don’t feel like i will for a while