#and treat me like an actual human adult for two seconds because good lord

[im-still-watching-anime]

whyyy do some people flirt by treating you like a child

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

Couple of questions involving “The Detainment Rescue of Izuku”.

1. I have tried to find other alternatives to how this could have played out better instead of what we got in canon. And the only option I could have thought of was if instead of just vanishing on them, Izuku talked to them in person about his plan and make it clear that it was his choice and he wouldn’t falter from it, but he was open to ideas about how the others could assist. But the glaring problem would be that AFO would be in on what they were doing via Aoyama.

So I guess what I want to say is that this entire situation is garbage and ruins so many characters. If you had the choice to rewind the plot, how far back would you go to get to the part where you think the story could still be at the very least decent?

2. The Class 1-A vs Izuku had many characters come off useless, though I do want to acknowledge the few that I think were at least trying to tackle the actual issue: Todoroki, Shoji, Asui and Ojiro. I think simply relieving Izuku some burdens, even if it’s spreading out and keeping non essential villains from hurting innocents and keeping civilians safe.

But who are YOUR characters that you felt got bastardized the most? Where their actions or words are so…WTF and/or OOC?

For me:

•Sato: who the hell are you to stop someone from making SWEETS? And using ERI against him? Good lord, man!

Uraraka: I saw the back flash of everyone getting concerned for Midoriya. The entire thing. Yet that look on her face with what she said, “We were worried about you.”? I didn’t buy that for a second. That’s the face of, “FFS, We have to clean up after YOUR mess AGAIN.” Of course we see her back in character later, but still…

Kaminari: Absolute bullshit. You’re Bakugo’s lapdog, you always cater to make sure Bakugou is having fun and being with everyone when he clearly doesn’t want to. The last conversation I recall you having with Midoriya is you being jealous of possibly having sex with Camie DURING A TEST. I don’t see any resemblance of friendship between you two.

Tokoyami: I was completely expecting him to make a gothic and poetic comparison between how Midoriya currently is, and how Tokoyami was at the training camp, when Dark Shadow was going berserk. I was actually thinking Tokoyami would make a callback to that and that he wouldn’t forgive himself turning away someone suffering like he had. And what do we get? A reference to an inconsequential line from the freakin SPORTS FESTIVAL.

Yaoyorozu: Just…holy shit, this pissed me off. Look how they massacred my girl! Not only is she relying on the group of adults that, other than All Might, have pathetically supported Midoriya, and thinking they will do any good. But she also tried to knock Midoriya out chained up like he was a psychopath from Tartarus, where as a walking, murderous monster like Gigantomachia, she treats more humanely by simply creating canisters of the knockout gas and getting the heroes to get him to ingest. Just…I hated how Yaoyorozu came off as a bitch in this…and I hate using that word with her…

But I can’t be completely mad at her, she got her sources on how Midoriya is from the rat-face bastard “that knew him better than anyone else”. And he’s in a league of bullshit of his own.

Sorry that this dissolved into a rant, I just hate all of this SO much.

So for the first part, I'd rewind it to Kacchan vs Deku 1. Once Katsuki unleashes the explosion, I'll have All Might arrest him (yes, arrest, because that was excessive use of force and reckless endangerment, if not outright second degree attempted murder). With Katsuki gone, I can spend more time focusing on the other parts of MHA, such as side characters, the themes Hori failed to tackle, etc.

Second part, I honestly think everyone was bastardized for even agreeing with Katsuki, but I think Momo got it the worst because she created that freaking chair thing. Everyone else did also get extremely screwed though (except maybe Tooru because I genuinely think Hori forgot about her because I don't think she's even in any of the pages and Yuuga cause he's the traitor and all). Katsuki ends up being more insufferable but I wouldn't say he was bastardized because he was already an irredeemable shithead to begin with and this only confirms this moment. Tenya and Shoto do come out less damaged because what they say shows that they've grown due to their arcs, but they still are damaged for agreeing to Katsuki's plan.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would happen if you were sent back and ended up in the orphanage with Tom Riddle—and say you also had magic?

Oh boy.

Well, there's a lot to question here. Judging by the... spirit of this ask, I presume I'm... pretty much reincarnated. I'm in the orphanage, I'm much younger than I am now and a child, I'm pre-Hogwarts age, and I retain my current knowledge.

For the purpose of this ask I suppose I also retain my current mental faculties. Despite being in the body of an eight-year-old, I'm not The Carnivorous Muffin at eight.

Welp, there's a lot to consider here.

First, I probably don't realize I'm in Harry Potter for quite some time and instead assume I've been reincarnated to some parallel universe. It's the 1930's, I'm in England in the depression, WWI has occurred and the vast majority of major historical events I know about seem to have happened in the right order, and this Earth is eerily similar to the Earth I left behind.

Strange that I appear to remember everything of my past life with my adult mental abilities, but alright universe, I guess that's how we're going to play this.

What I do know is that I'm dirt poor, presumably still a woman which does not bode well for my career prospects, and if I want any prospects in life period I'm going to have to fight tooth and nail for it. It'd be great if I got adopted to help with this, and might be nice to have people in my life who love me, but there's a lot of orphans in the world and a lot of orphans who are much less weird than I am.

The orphanage is the orphanage and not great, Mrs. Cole is overworked, the orphanage is chronically understaffed, and the kids are running wild beating the shit out of each other.

Being a girl, I probably don't have to worry about getting the shit kicked out of me quite as much, but I still probably try to keep my head down and don't aggravate the particularly beefy looking orphans.

Yes, there's some very angry gremlin named Tom Riddle around who will shove you down the stairs in retribution, but that's just a weird coincidence. And then supernatural shit starts happening. Billy's rabbit hangs itself, people get injuries when Tom is nowhere near them, and I start wondering if this is really the Tom Riddle.

I'm in Wool's Orphanage, my matron is Mrs. Cole, Tom Riddle is running around lighting things on fire. It's possible, though it could all be a strange coincidence.

Now, how things go from here depends on how controlled my own magic is. Since accidental magic typically does manifest at least once or twice, it probably does manifest for me for.. something. If Tom Riddle's there to witness it then...

Well, I imagine he's very offended. Here he was, special, different, better than everyone else, and then some girl in the orphanage (who dares to get very good grades on her assignments in school) has it too.

And I just stand there, smiling, going "Tee hee".

He probably confronts me to prove that he's better at it than I am, and he probably is unless the universe hates both him and me, but having someone else with the Shining around probably prompts him to take me as his protégé (in part so he can show off and in part because he's genuinely excited to be able to share this super cool talent).

I am now apprentice to eight-year-old Tom Riddle. Whoop de doo.

Well, I don't remember this part of Harry Potter, so now I'm probably confused as to where I am again. Regardless, I try to advise Tom on how to tone it down and not, say, traumatize Amy and Dennis for life and antagonize all the other orphans forever. He probably doesn't take me seriously. What do I know, I can't even light that patch of grass on fire?

Hanging around Tom Riddle gets me a reputation to, given the difference in genders, probably a fairly nasty one at that. When Dumbledore arrives he's undoubtedly told hot gossip about how eleven-year-old Tom and I have had sex in a ritual to summon Satan. Dumbledore takes this seriously.

Dumbledore probably meets us both at the same time and it's a disaster. I tried my best to prep Tom without revealing I'm a prophet, Tom first doesn't believe there might not be others, then doesn't believe they would be antagonist/anything but amazed by how awesome he is.

Well, Dumbledore lights his wardrobe on fire while I sit there. Dying inside. Dumbledore probably also does something to me too, to teach me some kind of lesson about something.

I imagine he temporarily disfigures me/makes me appear very ugly, then sticks a mirror to the wall, that way I realize that looks aren’t everything/being a whore is wrong. Tom, still traumatized over the wardrobe, is no help and my magic’s probably not controlled enough to do a thing about it.

I spend a day looking like a pig, Tom and I are given just enough money to buy new wands and second hand/barely functioning everything else and given the world’s worst directions to Diagon Alley. Thanks, Albus.

Well, months pass, we get our wands, Tom gets excited for Hogwarts and I... start seriously considering the future. WWII is coming, the Blitz is coming, Tom and I live in east London and must be able to evacuate during the bombing of London (which went on well past the Blitz to the end of the war). I also start considering my future in the wizarding world. Do I now actually have career prospects?

Probably not because I’m muggle born and a woman. My best bet is doing very well in useful subjects and finding employment with the goblins, I can’t imagine they have the same hang ups as the wizarding world.

Tom wants to go to Slytherin, of course, I tell him this is a bad idea. “Gee Tom,” I say, “Not sure how I know this but I have this feeling that Slytherin is filled with people who loathe our very existence and will shank us. Why don’t we pick Ravenclaw or Gryffindor instead?”

No one shanks Tom Riddle! Tom says. Tom is still eleven and while he admits that sometimes I may, in retrospect, have been right about certain things that doesn’t mean he wants to go to the house known for hard work. That’s code word for everyone there being a moron and having no other redeeming features than tenacity. As for the other two, Ravenclaws sound like smug, elitist, nerds and Gryffindors like dumb jocks.

Better to be known for ambition, cunning, and actually being competent.

Well, there’s no talking him out of this one, and goddamn it we’re all each other has.

I’m the closest thing Tom Riddle has ever had to a friend in all these years and in the orphanage the only one who could hold a decent conversation with him. And while it’s not my moral obligation to keep Tom from becoming a domestic terrorist, and there’s no guarantee I even can, dumping him for one of the other houses and drifting apart won’t help.

Not to mention that, after all these years, I’m undoubtedly lonely, I’m in this foreign land, and he’s now the closest thing to a friend I have.

Looks like I’m going to Slytherin, YOOOOOLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO! I shout as a battle cry as tears run down my face. I may have to convince the hat to put me in Slytherin, but like all human beings I am a mixture of many qualities. I’m not cunning in the least, mind games exhaust me unutterably, but I’m full of ambition. 

This confirms every bad opinion Dumbledore had regarding me and Tom.

For the next several months, Tom probably beats the shit out of dormmates who steal his things/harass him. He beats up mine too because feminism (TM) means that he should treat all people equally when guilty of the same crime. I... am not sure I can win that fight so I just resign myself to having to adopt some of Tom’s tactics to make sure I’m not shoved in lockers, have tampons thrown at me, or pig’s blood dumped on me at the prom.

Once again, everyone thinks Tom Riddle and I are dating. I don’t even know if they’re wrong at this point.

Well, being in class with eleven year olds who seem to have had little to no prior education, Tom and I are undoubtedly blazing through class. I imagine I’m bored out of my mind (the Hogwarts curriculum sounds unbelievably boring) and Tom is... well, probably devouring the library but probably also bored. I decide to try and see if I can find some real history texts on this world (there are probably none, the wizarding world seems to only have two historians and both... have a different approach to history than current modern thought as I know it) and discover what magic even is. That shit is fascinating: wingardium leviosa is not.

Dumbledore likely gives neither me nor Tom points in class, I think the house cup is stupid, so I really don’t care. I have no interest in playing quidditch, neither does Tom, so that doesn’t happen.

The second world war starts up, Tom, me, and the muggle borns are the only ones who give a flying fuck. I work harder on figuring out how to get lodging during the Blitz/the bombing of London. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cole hates me too for being the Bride of Satan, so that’s a no go. Third year, 1939, I probably write her in earnest anyway telling her to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, send Tom and I instructions for the summer/where the orphans are staying/how they’ve been dispersed to the countryside. As a back up plan, I try desperately to shmooze shopkeepers in Hogsmeade during every Hogsmeade weekend to get myself and Tom part time jobs and lodging over the summer. As a back up back up plan, I spend my time badgering Tom to become very good at survivalist wandless magic and if the Lord has pity on me gain some ability in it myself.

Hopefully, either Mrs. Cole or one of the Hogsmeade shop owners take pity on us. If not, then Tom and I are going extreme camping. Given Mrs. Cole (and the brain damage brought on by Dumbledore erasing memories left and right) and the likelihood of Hogsmeade shop owners just not getting it, Tom and I probably go extreme camping.

(Tom, meanwhile, asks Dippet and Dumbledore if we can stay in Hogwarts over the summer. He’s told no exceptions. London’s being bombed, you say? No exceptions. Toodles. Tom is never the same.)

Me, Tom Riddle, a tent we made ourselves, several rabbits we had to catch and skin ourselves, and the pitiful fire that we can keep going through pure will alone because if we try to use real people spells then we’ll get arrested. It has the benefit of making Tom feel very manly and impressive, catching his own food, but both of us are well aware that this sucks.

But hey, we aren’t dead.

Well, I’m sure Tom doesn’t appreciate that and this is where I imagine he seriously starts talking about violent revolution. I imagine much of my time is spent discussing the merits of not violently overthrowing our ant overlords. I imagine a thirteen-year-old Tom isn’t impressed by my pacifism, but he’s not married to Voldemort yet (probably).

Then I imagine the horcrux thing comes up and... Well, I will argue hard against it. Humans die, it is a truth of the universe, and simply something we have to accept. Horcruxes are not a measure against that, they can be destroyed, given infinite time they will be, and the sacrifice they require is too high: human life as well as the very essence of who you are.

What is a soul? I’m not sure, we never really learn in HP canon, but whatever it is, it is in some way the essence of yourself. If you take half of it and throw it somewhere else, you will cease to be you, someone or something else is walking around in your body while the other half of you exists in endless agony.

If you must chase immortality, create a philosopher’s stone (as I darkly wonder why it was that couldn’t be replicated and what Flamel had to do to make it in the first place). On second thought, maybe we should search for the Holy Grail.

Whether I can talk Tom out of this or not is... unclear. I’m going to say that I can, in part because I imagine he’ll want to show the chamber off to me, tell me when he realizes he’s Heir of Slytherin, and in doing so I can prevent the basilisk incident from occurring. Without that, there’s no dead Myrtle, which means no first victim. That summer, when he goes to the Gaunts, I’ll go with him and convince him that it’s not worth it. He can just turn around and leave these people alone, I hopefully can talk him down. Which means no second victim.

I start writing Flamel to see if Tom or I can get an apprenticeship (Dumbledore probably beats us to the chase and poisons him against us, but it’s worth a shot).

Then, should all go well, I can convince Tom to find employment with the goblins rather than shady antique dealers on the bad side of town. Hopefully, I can convince him to never become Voldemort, and instead we travel the world together looking for the origins of magic or something.

Dumbledore goes around taking people’s memories of us in preparation for when Tom becomes a dark lord and I his lady of the night darkness.

TL;DR Apparently my life would become an SI/Tom Riddle fic. So, thanks anon.

[saby-chan]

Fire Lord Ozai: A blood thirsty monster or the less fortunate “Zuko” of his generation?

Hello again and thank you as always for clicking and allotting some of your time to read my humble post! Since I’ve happened to notice quite an increase in posts lately regarding the controversial character and nature of the former Fire Lord, the now imprisoned fallen prince Ozai, and I’ve personally promised in my previous post that I will share my own analysis on him if people asked me to do so (which actually happened), I am here to deliver my own take on this very intriguing man’s character, while also building a potential past for him based on stuff gathered from the show’s cannon.

I would like to start this essay with what I find to be my favorite quote ever: ”Monster’s aren’t born, they are created.” ~ Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto) What I like about this quote soo much and find very inspirational is the truth it holds within its short, yet powerful message. We are often fast to judge a “book by the cover”, to reduce others to what we assume of them by their appearance or latest actions that we’ve seen them do, but never actually take a moment and wonder where they come from, if this person we soo harshly look down upon really has been this way since their very beginning?

I’ve come across many comments on social media related to ATLA, especially on YouTube videos on which people would throw with harsh comments such as “Aang being a coward for choosing to spare the villain just because they saw a dumb baby pic of them” or “Ozai is the essence of evil and even as a baby he’d been a monster”. I can’t help but wonder who hurt these people to make them be so cruel? Like, how messed up must you actually be to say that a baby, a friggin baby, is the embodiment of all evils? Or that a child was a coward for choosing to see his opponent’s last bits of humanity and opted to spare them?

Aang was soo morally conflicted about the idea of killing Ozai not only because it contradicted the morals of his people, but because he himself understood that this man hadn’t always been the cruel beast he came to met in their first and final showdown. It’s important to note here the fact that upon finding that picture, Aang was actually convinced it had to be Zuko as a baby since it looked so innocent and cute and was actually surprised to learn it was Zuko’s father. And that’s the thing, Ozai was born like us all as an innocent and sweet baby. Babies aren’t in any way evil or twisted, they don’t even have the notion of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ defined in their small, still developing minds. In fact, the very choice of the creators to add this picture in the show is meant to tell us this very thing: this man wasn’t always like this. But if he wasn’t always like this, then what happened to make him become this way?

Well, in order to find out the reason, we must go back in time to the very beginning: Ozai’s childhood and upbringing. For this next part I am going to solely focus on the show cannon, as the comics aren’t the products of BryKe and have a lot of inconsistencies to the source’s cannon (you can go and read my other post on why they fail when it comes to Zuko’s character and his family).

 From what we know and can easily deduce by ourselves just from their appearances, Ozai and his brother Iroh have a huge age gap between them (somewhere between 10 and 15 years). This has to be our first red flag: isn’t it soo odd that this family opted to have their children at such a long distance between pregnancies? It almost feels as if Ozai hadn’t actually been part of his father’s actual family planning... In other words, he was a ‘mistake’ child (I actually hate having to use this terminology, but it will become relevant to when we expand on Azulon’s relationship with his sons). Sure, some may argue that Azulon actually decided to have two sons in case something were to happen to his first born, but wouldn’t it have been more logical to have his second born at 2-3 years max distance from his first? Why choose to have your second child when you are much older and thus risk having a baby with issues, if your sole purpose of this child is to serve as an insurance that you don’t ‘run out’ of heirs? It just doesn’t make much sense, so let’s go for the moment with the possibility that Ozai was an unplanned pregnancy.

This perspective actually gives way to another very interesting aspect: remember the infamous “Born lucky...Lucky to be born” quote? What if I tell you that there is a possibility that this quote wasn’t Ozai’s personal wicked invention, but actually something he himself heard from his very own father? It had been puzzling me for a long time why he choose to say “You were lucky to be born” to Zuko, which implies that Zuko wasn’t supposed to exist. I mean, it’s soo odd that Ozai went with something implying that Zuko was an unplanned pregnancy, since Zuko was the first born. So my theory is that maybe Ozai wanted to convey a different message to Zuko when he said that quote, but due to his anger he ended up replicating the same line he received from Azulon at some point in his childhood. We never got the exact flashback when the line was delivered from Ozai to Zuko, so we don’t have the exact context that lead to it (remember, we are excluding Yang’s take on the matter from the comics).

I mean, this feels like something that wicked old Azulon would have said to his least favorite child. Okay, so let’s go with the scenario that Ozai was an unwanted child, to which we could also add the possibility that Ilah’s health deteriorated after the first birth, which makes plausible the family’s initial decision of stopping at 1 kid.

Moving on, we know from the old ATLA character wiki’s that Ozai’s character design was made with Zuko in mind, being meant to be a grown up version of Zuzu, without the scar. An interesting choice indeed and even Iroh’s letter to Zuko on Ozai from one of the ATLA books describes Ozzy in a similar way to teenage Zuko in book 1: stubborn, feisty, determined and with a volcanic personality (easy to anger and competitive), so it means that these were intentional choices to imply that Zuko and his father are more similar than we were led to believe at first glance. Maybe Ozai was the “Zuko” of his generation. Also, in one of the interviews on the royal family, BryKe stated that Ozai worked very hard to get where he is in book 3, referring to his firebending specifically (we all know how Ozzy got the throne, so clearly, he didn’t “work hard” for that), so maybe he wasn’t always the strongest man alive, with the most exceptional firebending skills out there, like Azula who showed ease in her learning, but rather someone closer to Zuko’s weaker performance as a child, building his way to success through endless hard work until he became the prodigy we know today.

Continuing with our theoretical scenario, after his birth, the second child show’s lesser skills compared to his brother Iroh (by that I don’t mean that he wasn’t gifted at all, but that maybe Ozai wasn’t as fast and great of a learner like his big bro), so Azulon opts to just ignore him and continue focusing solely on his golden child. In my headcannon I actually think that Ilah survived the birth and so she was left in charge of the younger child’s education and upbringing. At this point Iroh is already 10 or older, so he is forced to focus on his development, which prevents him from spending time with his lil brother, but just for the sake of being positive, let’s assume that Ozai still had both his mother and his big brother to keep him sheltered from Azulon’s darkness for a small portion of his childhood.

I choose to believe that Ozai had his mother’s love for a small bit of his childhood due to his willingness in the show to allow Ursa (who mind you, as the granddaughter of Roku was considered a treacherous individual) to spend a ton of time with both Zuko and Azula and share her philosophy with the children, as seeing his wife playing with their children probably reminded him of his own bitter-sweet memories he had with Ilah. They also probably spent a lot of their time near the turtle-duck pond since that pond’s existence prolly dates long before Ozai and Ursa married and had their own children.

Unfortunately, Ilah dies and little Ozai remains all alone, to be influenced negatively by his father (and even by his grandpa Sozin, we don’t really know for certain when the old man died, so he prolly was there for a short time when Ozzy was still a child). Azulon most likely blames Ozai for his wife’s death as the second birth might’ve really had a huge toll on Ilah’s already fragile body, bringing her closer to death, so he still neglects and ignores the child, if not straight out bullies and abuses him for not being on par with Iroh. This prolly leads to Ozai becoming jealous of his brother since Iroh has their father’s love, pushing them further apart. I headcannon that this jealousy between the siblings led to Ozai complaining to his dad when he finally had too much of their father’s discrimination (at a similar age to when Zuko prolly did and got the infamous line, if not younger) only to get the “Iroh was born lucky, you were lucky to be born!” line with the sole purpose of hurting him since now the child knows that he was never wanted.

When Azulon scolds very furiously adult Ozai in Zuko’s memories for daring to ask to be named crown prince, he literally says something like “What, you dare ask me to betray MY own son?!” (this is like red flag number two), line that pretty much testifies how Azulon chose to pretty much treat Ozai as if he wasn’t his son too, showcasing how much he despised his second born and favored the first child over him. Since we are on the topic of their last conversation, the punishment Azulon gave to his son alone proves this man’s level of sadism, which leads me to be believe that Ozai’s childhood was full of this type of punishments for bad behaviors that could be easily corrected trough a long serious lecture or a lesser punishment focused more on teaching him an actual lesson. 

The old wikis also mention on the page about the hall with portraits of the previous Fire Lords that it was the place where Ozai chose to spend most of his time in his youth, seeking advice from his ancestors. I mean, seriously now, if he had a good and supportive father and a present brother in his life, would Ozai had chosen to seek guidance from the dead instead of his living family? That piece of information that was easily overlooked by many proves how lonely this man was in his youth.

So for the most part of his life, Ozai grew up under the toxic influence and abuse of his tyrant father who refused to acknowledge him. Yet he managed to grow up still full of determination to one day prove his worth to Azulon and gain his acceptance (just like we saw with Zuko in book 1, who was desperate to regain his honor and be accepted by his father). But unfortunately, no matter how strong he became or how good of a firebender he was, Azulon was unmoved and unphased by his second son’s performance.

From what we could gather from the little info we received in the show, it seems that Ozai was never sent to the battle field to aid his older brother, being kept as a stay home prince, with the only occasion he actually left home being to search for the Avatar (I don’t think Iroh was sent to do his part on searching the Avatar since he strongly believed that there wasn’t going to ever be one, so it’s safe to assume Azulon assigned Ozai with this mission just to get rid of him for a few years) and the only purpose he ever served to his father was to become part of the old man’s genetics experiment in order to create strong unparalleled firebending offspring (which I am pretty sure were meant to be ‘biological war machines’ used by Azulon in the war, as he didn’t really seem to give a shit about Ozai’s children compared to Lu Ten). So just imagine the level of disappointment and dishonor Ozai must’ve felt as a man and young aspiring soldier to find out that he was going to be used like a ‘non-bending daughter’ in a strategical marriage and never get to serve his country in what he’d been taught was the greatest and most important war for their Nation.

All in all, this marriage didn’t really end up that badly because it seems he and Ursa were actually very compatible. The old wiki for Ursa states that she was a noble woman and the perfect match for Ozai, which leads me to believe that show Ursa was intended to be a very strong willed and determined woman who earned his respect. The show never stated that Ozai never wanted his first born or that he was disappointed with Zuko from birth like the comics say, so it’s safe to assume that Ursa and Ozai actually ended up falling in love at some point since they had not one, but two kids with relatively a short time in between pregnancies. 

There are actually many signs in the show that actually prove that these two loved each other and Ozai didn’t abuse his wife: from the fact that they went every year to see Ursa’s favorite play despite Ozai hating the poor performance of the Ember Island Players (I mean, what man would do such a sacrifice as to endure the same torture every single year just to make his wife happy if he never loved her?), Ursa’s undeniable and sincere love for their children (in the show it was never stated that Ursa saw Zuko and Azula as someone else’s children, so if she were indeed an abused woman who was forced to have these children, she wouldn’t have ever loved them to such an extent, especially Zuko who resembled his father the most physically), the fact that Ursa had equal rights in their marriage and raising of their children (her even scolding and grounding Ozai’s favorite child without hesitation), to the most significant scene to the Urzai ship in Zuko’s flashbacks: Ozai sitting troubled all alone in Ursa’s favorite spot by the pond, in a sad and brooding atmosphere, after he lost her, instead of celebrating what had to be the happiest day of his life since he was finally crowned Fire Lord (it’s clear who had more importance in his heart: Ursa meant more to him than the throne, so losing her outshined his achievement). In fact, Ursa must’ve been the only thing that still kept him outside of the darkness that threatened to swallow his heart and once he lost her, Ozai had nothing else to keep him on the right path.

And even as a father, it seems that Ozai wasn’t always cold and distant to his children, as his true self depicted in Zuko’s memories on Ember Island shows him caring for both of his children, even holding Zuko close to him with a protective arm on the boy’s shoulder. Except the Agni Kai, there don’t seem to be any instances in which he was physically violent towards his son before the banishment (Iroh literally let Zuko in to join that faithful war meeting willingly. Would’ve he done that if he knew his brother to be very violent towards his children in case they disobeyed? If yes, then it would make Iroh actually very questionable on a moral standpoint) and even on an emotional level, I don’t really think that he was actually abusive to him (at least while Ursa was there) because from Zuko’s conversation with Zhao, he’s adamant that his father will take him back and even states "You don't know how my father feels about me. You don't know anything!", meaning that the father he used to know showed him a level of respect and genuine affection (if Ozai were to bully Zuko since the boy’s very early childhood, do you think this kid would grow up to be so sure that his father wants him around and would he defend this bully when someone badmouths them in front of him?).

Even with Azula, despite people demonizing her from early childhood and saying that she was manipulated since birth by Ozai to become a war machine, I do believe that she shows genuine love and affection towards her father. I do choose to believe that back in the good times when the family was happy, Ozai spent quality time with his daughter, filling in the gap left by Ursa’s neglect. I theorize that the reason why kid Azula badmouthed her grandpa and uncle was because she was being very protective of her father: since she used to like spying and eavesdropping, it’s safe to assume that she prolly witnessed many instances in which the old man bullied or insulted Ozai, favoring Iroh over him. It’s a bit harder to see it that way since her snarky comments involve dark topics, but since they live in a society governed by power and war, I see them as something similar to if Azula would’ve said “Uncle sucks and he will surely be fired from his job!” or “Grandpa is old and weak, he should leave the family business to dad!”. Even the fact that the only thing capable of shattering her to pieces was her father leaving her proves how much she cared for him. Ty Lee and Mai’s betrayal was a big blow on Azula’s control and sanity, but she didn’t breakdown until Ozai discarded her after his coronation as Phoenix King. There’s nothing more painful in this world than to be left behind by the person you loved the most and was there by your side your whole life, whom you wanted to follow to world’s end and back. That was the moment Azula finally realized that the father she used to know and love was actually gone and had been in fact, long gone for years at this point.

But if Ozai cared for his family what made him change? Easy, it all comes back to the fact that his father never acknowledged him. The throne doesn’t seem to be his ultimate goal in life since Ozai discarded of the Fire Lord title very easily, tossing it to Azula without any remorse or hesitation. It was more about the meaning behind getting the crown: replacing Iroh in the line of succession was the ultimate proof of his father’s acceptance, that he wasn’t only a “mistake” and “failure” in his father’s eyes, but since Azulon ended up saying and doing what he did, backfired Ozai and made him understand that no matter how hard he tried, the old man will never see him for what he is. So yeah, for a proud man like Ozai this was a hard defeat to swallow, which in turn sparked his strong desire of winning the war and becoming the king of the world: if Azulon wouldn’t accept him even in death, then Ozai will prove to the whole world that he was above his father and his “perfect” brother by accomplishing what they never could and even better and no one was going to stop him, not even his own family.

This is what differentiates Ozai from Zuko: while both had similar upbringings, Ozai never broke away from his obsession of gaining his father’s admiration, allowing himself to fall prey to the darkness left by Azulon in his heart and abandon his true self, only to become the copy of his abuser, while Zuko stood up to his dad and chose his own destiny. If Aang were to come back around 20 or 30 years earlier, then he might’ve actually been able to save Ozai just like he saved Zuko, but unfortunately it wasn’t this way.

Do I think that Ozai could still be saved and redeemed even after the events of book 3? Definitely! Since he’s actually a broken man and still has a tiny bit of humanity left within, I think he still has a chance to change his heart. The only thing is that it’d be a long lasting process: first off he needs to spend a long time in solitude and reflect on his life’s choices and his past, understand where he went wrong and that what happened to him in his childhood is called abuse, which he ended up replicating on his own children. After he understands his wrongdoings and becomes willing to rediscover his true self, he needs to understand the truth about the war, that everything he’d known was fake propaganda and that there was nothing glorious in what he, his father and Sozin did under the excuse of “sharing their Nation’s greatness with the rest of the world!”. But most importantly of all, the only remedy that could possibly save him is love. It sound cliche, but by responding to hatred with more hate like Zuko did in the comics would never change the world “for the better” or bring it “to reality”. The only way to save both Azula and Ozai would be trough showing them the power of love, hope and empathy, how they don’t have to struggle alone and push everyone away. And especially by redeeming Azula, she would be a very important piece in Ozai’s redemption: since he had a closer parent-child relationship with Azula and cared for her the most when he did care, realizing how much he made her suffer through his actions, that would probably break Ozai enough to make him admit that he was wrong all along.

So yeah, this is my analysis on Ozai’s character using the cannon information from the show and old wikis and why I think he is just the product of a very bad environment and an abusive parent who never showed him love (if there’s a reason for why Ozai might be uncapable of showing a healthy parental love to his children is because you can’t show what you’ve never learnt yourself), being the Zuko of his generation who never got to experience the positive influence of an “Uncle Iroh” to guide him on the right path. 

You can agree with me or not on this one, but this is what I choose to believe. Maybe I am way too good by choosing to see any potential good in anyone, but I feel it’s a better way than to counter hate with more hate like Yang did in his monstrous portrayal of Ozai in The Search.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments and if you agree with anything I’ve said, feel free to leave a like and to reblog this post.

See you next time and stay safe! Bye-Bye!

Saby out.

[itsclydebitches]

YYH Recaps: Episode 1, Surprised to be Dead

Hello, all you hypothetical readers! It's a beautiful spring day and I have a free afternoon ahead of me, so what better time to start another massive project while I guilty stuff my other WIPs deep into the depths of my hard drive? Yeah. Iffy life choices aside, someone mentioned a few weeks back that they'd love for me to recap a show I have more positive things to say about than negative (RIP RWBY) and ever since Netflix announced that their live-action adaptation of Yu Yu Hakusho is in the works, I've been itching for a re-watch of the anime. With the RWBY hiatus underway, it seemed like the perfect time to fulfill both desires.

Before we begin though, I'd like to touch on a few things that are going to influence this project.

First, YYH is near and dear to my heart. Written by Yoshihiro Togashi in the early 1990s and later adapted for an American audience by Funimation, I had the pleasure of experiencing this story five different ways: as a serialized tale in Shonen Jump, a binge read when I had the money to buy the manga, tiny snippets of the anime on Adult Swim late at night — don't tell my parents ;) — as an after-school treat on Toonami, and then years later as a re-watch when I introduced it to a friend (who, in turn, blessed me by having us watch Fullmetal Alchemist next). I used to keep a Hiei bookmark in everything I was reading, the spirit gun made it into our witch-wolf-space adventures on the playground (middle school was wild), and there was a long period of my life where I tried very hard to teach myself to stand with my hands behind my back, precisely as Genkai does. Spoiler alert: I failed. So to say I love the series is... a little bit of an understatement. I bring this up simply as a way of demonstrating that there's more than a bit of nostalgia attached to YYH for me and that will inevitably cloud my reading of it. How can it not? So that's just something to keep in mind as I work through a series that, like any having hit its 30th birthday, has its outdated, flawed, and other questionable aspects.

Second, but very much connected to the first point, is that these are pretty casual recaps. I summarize and extrapolate, focusing primarily on plot and dialogue (but with the occasional cinematography aspect tossed in). I'm not conducting research on the cultural history here — something that will come up at least once in this episode — I'm not arguing an overarching thesis, and I've never been someone who focuses on the author/production/trivia of a series. I'm here for the story as the story is presented to the viewer. If you've read my RWBY Recaps, this will function precisely the same way, with the only difference being I'm engaging with a finished text as opposed to an ongoing one, so there’s a lot less, “Maybe ___ will happen” theorizing going on. 

Third, I obviously recommend that you watch the show yourself (you can find it on YouTube!), but you don't have to know the series to follow along. As these massive paragraphs attest, I tend to be both detailed and verbose, so we'll be covering every major plot point — and most of the smaller ones too.

Finally, I'm working from the dub. I know, I know, the horror. But it's what I grew up on and, honestly, I think it's superior to the sub. YYH's dubbing is in a class all its own and to this day there are very few shows that compare to it. Trust me, it's a good call.

That's enough of the boring chit-chat though. Let's get started!

Our very first episode "Surprised to be Dead" opens on a crowded street. We see lots of traffic, people going about their business, and a pedestrian crossing sign that, crucially, turns red. This is our normality and, like in every genre story, you need to break that normality at some point so that the protagonists can go on their fantastical/supernatural/science fiction journey. YYH eases us into things by first breaking the normality of an everyday afternoon: there's a screech of tires, quick shots of a man pushing a child out of the way of an oncoming car, and then his back is hitting the windshield. We begin this story with a horrible — but otherwise mundane — car crash.

Now, these flashes alone have a fair bit to unpack. Despite later getting a brief shot of the man's scared face right before he's hit, the moment's focus is really on the child. He's the one foregrounded in the initial, slow-mo shot. He's the one who appears in color while the man is kept in shadow. This isn't just a hit, it's a rescue. The camera is also careful to follow the soccer ball this kid was playing with (more on that later in the episode), with it flying through the air as the man is hit and bouncing to a stop in the street, acting as the dramatic finish. It's childhood! It's innocence! It's play on a sunny afternoon! And it's all gone wrong.

This moment is chaotic and even a bit confusing. Not in the sense of what's happening — that is quite obviously a guy being hit by a car — but who the victims are, how precisely this came about, or even why we're meant to care about this beyond a generic capacity to feel for other human (fictional) beings... that's all removed. And it works. As the crash takes place, the camera pans across the stunned crowd and we, the viewer, become a part of that crowd. They don't know what precisely is going on either. We're all just horrified onlookers as a sudden tragedy takes place. We're all watching the same show.

So everyone realizes this guy has been hit. People are staring in shock and someone calls for an ambulance. We see the driver fall to his knees in the street, distraught, shakily saying, "I didn't mean to..." It's a very serious and emotional scene that —

— is immediately tempered by this guy waking up, complete with a cute 'pop!' sound effect when he opens his eyes.

This is YYH's brand, this Very Serious Circumstances skillfully interwoven with casual indifference/comedy. It's admittedly far from a unique brand, but it's an excellent choice given that this is the same attitude that will drive 99% of our protagonist's interaction with the world.

Speaking of said protagonist, our guy wakes up, opens his eyes, and realizes that he's floating. There's a great, disorientating shot from his perspective where everything is upside down, causing him to nearly fall out of the air. Well would you look at that, he's as confused as we are. It's our audience surrogate!

A narrator says, "And so it all begins. This boy's name is Yusuke, he's fourteen years old, and he's supposed to be the hero of this story. But oddly enough, he's dead."

Game of Thrones might have made it popular, but YYH did it better.

(Yeah, yeah, I know one death kick-starts the journey and the other is a shocking twist. Just let me have this.)

Now, it's a weird introduction, right? At least at the end. The announcement that change has occurred, a name, an age... that all checks out. But "supposed to be the hero"? What the hell is that “supposed to” mean? Our narrator gives us the easy, surface answer: "But oddly enough, he's dead." We're capitalizing here on the audience's expectation that death ends a character's journey and though they may have been a hero previously, they can no longer be one moving forward. That function within the story has passed. So it's this intriguing question of, "What kind of hero do you have when that hero is dead from the start?" but as we'll see soon, there's an additional meaning here of, "How can Yusuke be the hero?" As this premiere sets up, Yusuke doesn't act like the hero is “supposed to” act. 

Until he saved this kid.

But right now he's just confused: "Okay, this is weird. Stupid weird."

Two EMTs arrive on the scene and are hilariously useless. You know how in any medical drama a doctor will stop CPR after a couple of seconds because obviously you're not going to spend half the episode on realism? Well, that's this only a thousand times worse. One guy just looks at the kid and announces he's fine except for some bumps and bruises. Meanwhile, the kid is sobbing.

"Well, at least one of them is," replies the other EMT, because I guess he can tell Yusuke is beyond hope without taking a pulse or anything? "I hate cleanup," he complains as they load his body onto a stretcher because that's? An empathetic response to have??

Honestly this scene is wild.

Yusuke is understandably upset that he's, you know, dead and all. He starts hounding the EMTs who, unable to hear him, just go about their business of taking the kid and his body to the hospital. "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on? You can't just write me off. Listen to me!" and Yusuke tries to punch one of the EMTs in the head, resulting in him floating right through.

What a great way to introduce your protagonist's personality. We see here that when things go wrong Yusuke's default emotion is anger and it starts creeping in even before he thinks the others are ignoring him: "Stupid weird." He has problems with authority — "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on?" — is used to others listening when he gets angry — "You can't just write me off!" — and is poised to use violence at the slightest provocation. Yusuke is a guy who, right now at least, is ready to punch first and ask questions later.

As Yusuke floats back up into the air and the ambulance drives away, he finally cools down enough to try and think his way out of this. "It's not like this is the first time you've been in a jam,” he thinks. Yusuke recalls that yeah, something was different about today...

...he actually went to school.

Catch me laughing that this idiot boy equates the weirdness of him dying with going to school. Good lord. 

Anyway, this jumpstarts our flashback. We open on a generic, anime middle school (that always feels like a high school to me) where the principal is calling for Yusuke through the loud speaker. Oooo someone’s in trouble! We follow a young girl up to the rooftop and she gets a classic hair-blowing-in-the-wind moment to  establish that she's our love interest. Meet Keiko Yukimura.

Keiko finds Yusuke hanging out and immediately starts lecturing him for trying to chew gum and refusing to wear the boys' uniform. "Oh, give me a break, Keiko. I look better in green." Note that it's here we learn her name and it's an easy, casual way to introduce it. I bring this up because Yusuke's introduction via our narrator is very much... not that. It's an on your nose statement about his name, age, and importance to the story, and if you're just starting the show in 2021, it might come across as a rather armature move. Like something out of a kid's show, perhaps. Yet here we see that this was a deliberate choice, considering that YYH is capable of introducing character information naturally when it wants to.

This moment also tells us that Yusuke cares a great deal about his image. More on that in a bit. Because Keiko isn't finished her list of grievances yet, going on to say that his attendance record has hurt their entire class, hurt her as class representative, and if he keeps going down this path he won't even graduate middle school. "Sometimes I think you don't care about anyone but yourself and then you don't even do that right!"

They're legit complaints. Too bad Yusuke is busy looking up Keiko's skirt.

Yeeeeah. Sadly, this is common for anime, particularly a 90s anime like YYH. Even presumably more progressive series like My Hero Academia feature characters like Mineta, whose entire personality is being a pervert, and the creation of abilities that "require" kids/young women to be scantily clad. See: Yaoyorozu. YYH is no different in this regard, with various forms of sexual harassment functioning as a shorthand for how much Yusuke secretly likes Keiko. "Boys will be boys," right? Obviously not. 

Like so many others series, the creators get away with it because they’re framing it as a bad thing. It's totally fine because look, Keiko slaps him! This is  teaching the viewer how wrong this behavior is. Never mind that this is clearly an established habit between them, that Yusuke laughs off Keiko's discomfort, and that the whole scene is meant to be funny for the viewer. That's the real purpose here; it’s not a PSA on harassment. 

That, and to establish the long-suffering love Keiko has for Yusuke in turn, largely stemming from a life-long friendship. "Dumb boy! He hasn't grown up a bit since he was four years old." We see that Keiko's early interactions with Yusuke have given her insight that others lack. As she heads down from the roof she runs into two girls hiding around the corner, too scared to come out lest "the great Urameshi" set his sights on them. Isn't Keiko terrified of what he might do to her? "Or worse, what others might say of it?" Like any classic high school middle school setting, one's reputation is king. Yusuke cares about how others see him — maintaining that tough boy attitude — and the girls care more about what the rest of the school might think of Keiko's interactions with him than the presumed harm Yusuke could do to her. They heard he can summon 2,000 men with just a whistle and that he "kills for fun!" But that means nothing in the face of people talking about you. Despite being one of the most popular girls in school, Keiko is the outsider here via her disinterest in what other people think.

The animation changes here, giving us a good look at how the girls picture Yusuke: tough, scowling, surrounded by shadows, and backed by an entire army.

In contrast, we've already seen what Yusuke is really like.

Keiko laughs the image off too. Yusuke is more like a "lamb" than a killer and besides, he couldn't order around two people, let alone two hundred. "He doesn't have many friends."

"That's not what I heard," says one of the girls. 

"Yeah," goes the other. "I think we would know." 

Again, rumors rule here, with whispers in the hall considered more reliable than someone who interacts with Yusuke on a daily basis. Keiko doesn’t have a hope of changing their minds. 

Oh, as a side note, I love that they gave Keiko Miyazaki-esque hair. It's very emotive.

Yusuke escapes outside where the principal is still calling for him to report to his office. He overhears a conversation around the corner and we cut to two boys, one of which is showing a wallet off to the other. He explains that some bully tried to rough him up, but he said he was Urameshi's cousin and the bully took off, dropping his wallet in the process. The guy's friend is impressed, but what is he going to do if Yusuke ever finds out he lied? Not to worry, he says, that "blockhead" would probably think it's true even if he did somehow hear.

Yusuke, obviously, does hear about this and he, also obviously, does not believe this guy is his cousin. He looms ominously and they scurry up against a wall, terrified and offering him the wallet as an apology.

"You think I want your money?" Yusuke yells.

YYH is, in many respects, a rather simple story, but I appreciate the hints of complexity in these otherwise straightforward interactions. It's not that this guy used Yusuke's name to steal a wallet, he used it as a form of protection against another bully — a far more sympathetic motivation. It's not that Yusuke's fearsome reputation has resulted in any genuine respect because once people think they're safe they reveal how little they think of his intelligence — he's a "blockhead." And Yusuke, though intimidating and violent, is not your average, schoolyard bully. He doesn't care about money, only the insult and the damage this guy using his name might have done to his reputation. There's a little more nuance here than you might otherwise expect.

Also, note how dark the boys' standard uniforms are and how much they blend into the rest of the world. Yusuke, as our protagonist, stands out in his bright clothing. He was right, he does look better in green!

So he's ready to clobber this kid when one of the teachers arrive: Mr. Iwamoto.

Iwamoto demands to know what's going on, but the boys are too terrified to rat Yusuke out. Noticing the wallet on the ground, he assumes that Yusuke was after their money, something that greatly offends him: "Whatever!" Iwamoto goes on to say that, "No good weeds like you should have been plucked a long time ago," making it clear that he considers Yusuke a hopeless case. The positive aspects that Keiko sees, as well as the complexity the viewer sees — to say nothing of his introduction of saving a kid — aren’t considered here.

Notably, Iwamoto exists in part to show us what Yusuke could become. Not a teacher (he's obviously not attending school enough for that!), but a cynical man who is cruel for cruelty's sake. Yusuke is already barreling down that path, ignoring Keiko's advice, terrorizing other students, trying to punch EMTs, etc. If his life (or afterlife...) hadn't changed through that accident, this is the kind of person Yusuke might have grown up to be, and we can see that clearly in the visual parallels between them. Dark haired men dressed in green who scowl with ease and toss out cutting insults. Yusuke is staring his future in the face.

For now he walks off with a final shot, "You shouldn't talk. It makes you sound stupid." This time Yusuke makes it to the school's entrance and tries to enjoy his second attempt at chewing gum, but someone hits him in the back of the head.

"Okay, somebody's DEAD — ah. Sorry, old man."

"That's Mr. Takenaka to you."

Our principal has finally left the office and hunted down Yusuke for himself! Putting this interaction immediately after the one with Iwamoto allows the viewer to compare them. Yusuke might be irreverent towards his principal, but it's clear there's still some kind of respect between them. Yusuke only starts threatening because he doesn’t realize who hit him and once he does realize it's Takenaka, he immediately apologizes. That "old man" comes across as a teasing insult and Yusuke allows himself to be briefly dragged back towards school, rather than throwing a now classic punch. In turn, Takenaka cares enough about Yusuke to try and keep him on the straight and narrow. He utilizes Yusuke's preferred language — violence — but in a casual way, nonthreatening way: slight hit to the back of his head, noogie, pulling him along by the ear. 

It's the sort of physicality we're used to seeing in media between a parent and child who are outwardly antagonistic, but actually share a deep bond. Takenaka is also careful to frame their return to his office as a "discussion," not a punishment, and offers Yusuke tea along with the conversation. Whereas Iwamoto considers Yusuke to be a "weed" that should have been plucked from their school long ago, Takenaka is determined to help Yusuke bloom.

If we're continuing the flower metaphor :D

Yusuke isn't in the mood to play along though. He gets away by using a fake ear, startling Takenaka when it unexpectedly pulls free. Yusuke escapes the school grounds and Takenaka, suffering a back twinge from his fall, can't chase after him. Poor guy. I understand that pain lol.

Yusuke heads home where we're introduced to his mother, Atsuko. Most notable in her first shot is the soft lighting that highlights her looks. We're not told how old she is here, but I believe she's around 28 — and she looks it, if not younger. Given that Yusuke is 14, that means Atsuko was a mom at his age. This is a quick and subtle way to tell us about Yusuke's home life. There are more overt details in this scene — it's at least lunchtime and Atsuko hasn't left her bed yet, she demands that Yusuke make her coffee instead of greeting him, it's all meant to imply (before we actually see) that she's an alcoholic — but her age is another way to highlight the broken household here. There's no partner in sight and she clearly had Yusuke as a teenager. He hasn't had a strong parental figure to take care of him. If anything, Yusuke is taking care of Atsuko here.

"Oh great, mother of the year!" basically sums things up.

Atsuko wants to know why Yusuke isn't in school and he says that everyone is pissing him off today, particularly with their preaching. "Dear, if you hate preaching so much you should live on your own... but you can't do that, can you?" Alongside a rough upbringing, Yusuke is suffering from the common problem of being trapped in a dead-end life. He hates his school, his town, and coming home to find his mom hungover. Yusuke has no prospects and, outside of one principal, no one who is actively working to help him find some. Even the little things he hates, like being preached to, are unavoidable because if you want to live on your own, that requires money. Good luck pulling that off as a middle schooler whose only skill is street fighting!

Yusuke walks off in a huff, literally shouting in a street about what a bad day he's having (and hilariously scaring off pedestrians in the process). His shout brings trouble though. A couple guys appear to ambush him, their boss close behind. The music increases the tension, Yusuke's expression is serious, and we even get a Dutch angle thrown into the mix. 

For any who don't know, the Dutch angle is a popular film technique to establish that something is wrong. There's tension in the scene, something uneasy is at play, and the world is now literally off center. It's perhaps most famously used in Do The Right Thing to establish the friction between an Italian-American pizzeria and the predominantly African American neighborhood it's based in.

But it's also used a great deal in horror as a way to say: yup, shit just got real. Scary real.

This Dutch angle introduces a character you may not appreciate at first, but absolutely should: Kazuma Kuwabara.

He's initially the comic relief and that's clear in his introduction. Within seconds we move from that intimidating arrival to, well, seeing him. To be clear, I've got nothing against redheads with big chins, but compared to Yusuke's design, Kuwabara is meant to be the funny looking one. His threat level plummets the moment we get a look at his face, especially in a series that will occasionally use looks as a (supposed) measure of intelligence. 

Also, Kuwabara is dressed in light blue so, like Yusuke, we know he's important!

Any assumptions that his appearance isn’t meant to imply a goofy, embarrassing personality are put to rest when Kuwabara starts rambling about how they last time they fought Yusuke just got a cheap shot in and he'll definitely win this time. Yeah, he won't. Yusuke is thrilled by this diversion though and we get a shot of him looking almost as creepy as Keiko's friends think he is. Whatever else might be said about Yusuke, he is absolutely a monster in a fight.

Which we see here. If anyone picked up the series without knowing this was a fighting anime, they'll realize it now. Yusuke's choreography is stylized to show off his skill: he disappears with a 'whoosh' and dark lines to suggest inhuman speed,

attacking Kuwabara with a knee to the face, utilizes flying kicks, lands perfect, precision punches, and ends it all with the toe-tip landing we've come to expect of all powerful fighters. Kuwabara never even got a hit in. 

Happy as a clam now, Yusuke wanders off whistling and Kuwabara's friends are left to pick up the pieces. AKA, his likely broken bones. I love that they're legit friends though and not just nameless goons for the sake of giving Kuwabara a small gang (though their names won't come up until later). "That makes 0 wins an 156 loses!" one of them cries, trying to get Kuwabara to stop ending up in the hospital, probably. We establish that Kuwabara is The Most Dramatic Ever when he pulls his broken body into a seated position, shouting, "No! I almost had him that time!"

Then he passes out.

Kuwabara, honey, you obviously did not almost have him, but god bless you for the outlook. The most optimistic thing on this Earth is a well-loved Golden Retriever, but Kuwabara comes in at a very close second.

With his dream to one day beat Yusuke in combat established, we cut to Yusuke wandering the street where the episode opened. "Okay, I'm remembering" he says in a voiceover. "After that I met the kid."

The soccer ball reappears as it rolls to a stop at Yusuke's feet. He grabs it and immediately starts yelling at the kid. Horrible protagonist, right? Well, Yusuke is trying to instill in him the danger of using this street as a playground, a worry the viewer already knows is 100% justified. “Listen, kid, that’s dangerous! There are cars going by that will splatter you into the pavement!” It's one of those quick moments where we get to enjoy Yusuke's duality: he's someone who is nearly making a toddler cry, but for rather understandable reasons. He's got the right idea, but needs to go about it in a more mature manner.

Which is precisely what he attempts to do. Sort of. Yusuke changes gears, though whether it's a more "mature" route is certainly up for debate lol. He tries entertaining the kid instead, raising and lowering the soccer ball to reveal goofy faces.

When these fail to impress, Yusuke goes full out by stuffing the ball into his pants, pushing his nose up with a pair of chopsticks he got from god knows where, and generally just putting on a display.

So Yusuke cares very deeply about his reputation... but only when it comes to those who are an established part of his life. Keiko, Mr. Takenaka, and the other kids at school all need to maintain a particular image of Yusuke, one that he's carefully cultivated. But random pedestrians on the street? Who cares about them? Let them talk.

This shows us that Yusuke does indeed have priorities over his own, selfish goals. Namely, the happiness of some kid is more important to him than looking "cool" for a bunch of strangers. Lots of characters with Yusuke's surface attitude would sneer at the idea of degrading themselves for — their words — some brat. But Yusuke, as we constantly see, actually does have that heart of gold. “Well, if all else fails I can still make kids happy.”

Although... I'm not sure what to make of his display itself. I have the distinct sense that there's something prejudiced here that I'm not able to fully articulate, what with the chopsticks, slanted eyes, bald head, and the like, though to be entirely frank I don't have enough knowledge of Japan's history to say precisely what it might be. Or, really, whether it exists at all. Just something to chew on.

What I am sure about though is the importance of having the child label Yusuke as monster — "Yeah, monster! — but in a delighted manner. Yusuke is indeed some kind a monster, someone who disappoints adults and terrifies his classmates, a demon fighter on the streets too, but here that identity is reworked into something positive.

Having successful secured a laugh, Yusuke tells the kid — calmly this time — to go play elsewhere. The toddler stares up at him with the blank expression only kids can manage.

Well, kids and whatever headspace I'm in after writing these metas.

To absolutely no one's surprise except Yusuke's, the kid does not go elsewhere. Instead, he continues kicking the ball down the street, causing Yusuke to exclaim, “Dammit, what’s the use? The kid can get smashed by a car for all I care!” Liar, liar. 

The picture becomes desaturated as the kid kicks the ball and it flies into the street, time slowing down to show it landing precisely in the middle of the road. Yusuke again yells for him to stay put, but when has a toddler ever listened? He begins to walk into the road as our driver arrives, speeding, swerving, and paying more attention to the girl at his side than what's in front of him.

This time, we see the accident from the front with both Yusuke and the kid presented equally.

There's a cut to black and when we return we're in the present, Yusuke floating above the policemen now investigating the scene. “So that’s it? I’m roadkill?” As Yusuke realizes he's dead, specifically that he's a ghost, a voice goes,

"Bingo! Bingo! You win the prize!"

A woman has appeared who is quite obviously othered by the standards of the episode so far. Unlike the greens, blues, and browns of the series' modern clothes, she's dressed in hot pink kimono with blue hair to match. She's also, you know, floating on an oar.

“I didn’t expect you to figure it out so quickly," she says, referring to Yusuke's revelation that he's dead. Apparently, those who meet unexpected and/or violent ends tend to take some time coming to terms with their demise. It's a nice acknowledgment of Yusuke's intelligence in an interaction that's otherwise... not great for his self-esteem.

Meaning, this woman is about to drag him lol.

She introduces herself as Botan, pilot of the River Styx and guider of souls to the afterlife. You might also know her as the Grim Reaper.

(Hey, RWBY fans: I originally wrote that as Grimm Reaper 🤦‍♀️)

It's an claim Yusuke takes issue with because 1. Botan is too pretty to be the Grim Reaper and 2. If she was really some god of death she'd be taking this much more seriously, not laughing and saying, "Bingo!" For the audience this does two things. First, it acknowledges our own expectations and validates them. Yusuke's world isn't so far removed from our own that he takes Botan's looks and personality at face value, he also expected a skeleton with a scythe. So don't worry, all the weird stuff in this series is weird to our protagonist too. They'll be explanations. Or, even if there’s not, you’re not wrong for being surprised. 

Second, it sets up the very common theme in YYH of undermining those common assumptions again and again and again. We've already seen it with Yusuke, wherein characters who look and act a certain way are, supposedly, destined to be that person and nothing more. Yusuke is meant to be just a "weed," a dumb, violent, angry loser who goes nowhere in life... but we already know he's more than that. Botan is supposed to be scary and serious, but she says nah, I want to be cute and bubbly instead. No character in YYH embodies who they're "supposed" to be when you look past those surface characterizations. They play the part of archetypes — and do keep certain parts of their expected personalities — but they're also far more well-rounded than that. Which yeah, is something most people expect from any story nowadays, but YYH is particularly adept at making you think you're watching Simple Show A only to turn around and surprise you with More Complex Show B.

It's great, trust me.

So Yusuke is pissed that Botan isn't adhering to those expectations, in the same way that he works hard to validate others expectations of him. He doesn't know how to deal with someone challenging his world view yet. Rather than angering Botan though, she just nods and says that this response makes sense for him. “Rather than being scared, or surprised, you yell a lot and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about." Taking out a notebook, she quickly summarizes everything we learned in the flashback — minus Yusuke's complexities: he's fourteen, in middle school, is ill-tempered, violent, hates authority, and is a horrible student.

Typically, Yusuke responds by getting angry and trying to snatch the booklet out of her hands, only for Botan to pull it out of his reach, laughing. The tables have turned! Rather than being surrounded by people who cower at Yusuke's imposed authority, he now finds himself faced with someone who laughs at his transparent attempts to take control of the situation.

Calming down, Yusuke wants to know if the kid he saved is really alright and Botan offers to let him see for himself. That offer produces Yusuke's first, genuine smile.

They fly to the hospital where a doctor is in the process of giving the kid a clean bill of health, his mother crying with relief. 

That's enough for Yusuke. “Alright, Botan, I’ve got no regrets, so you can take me to hell or wherever it is I’m going.”

That tells you all you need to know about Yusuke's self-worth, despite his bad boy attitude. His life is a dead-end as far as he can see and most of those around him haven't done anything to dissuade him of that idea. He says he doesn't care if the kid lives or dies, but then instinctively saves him. Post his death, Yusuke doesn't have anything he considers a regret, or anything he'd like to do before he leaves, like saying goodbye to a loved one. Oh, he's also pretty sure he's going to hell and has resigned himself to that without a fight.

Uplifting!

Botan just laughs though, saying that she's actually here to offer Yusuke an "ordeal" that could bring him back to life. See, he wasn't supposed to die today — let alone die saving a kid — and frankly they don't know what to do with him. It's another neat summary of what we've already learned: Yusuke is a far more complicated case than the afterlife assumed and now, when push comes to shove, deciding whether he belongs in heaven or hell is... muddled.

There's a fantastic story there about the problems with an afterlife that reduces a person's entire life to a few surface characteristics recorded in a book, refusing to acknowledge the context of their situation, or their capacity for change. “Run someone with your credentials a thousand times and they never would have saved a kid like that." Except, of course, Yusuke did save him, so those "credentials" are suspect, to say the least. However, YYH is not a story that explores these issues. Instead, I recommend you watch this!

Rather than being upset at the afterlife's low opinion of him (because let's be real, Yusuke shares it), he latches onto a little detail Botan let slip. If he wasn't supposed to die today... then was the kid?

Mmm... no. Actually, without the chaos of Yusuke jumping into the road, the driver would have swerved at the last second and the kid would have not only lived, but actually come out with one less scrape.

So Yusuke is obviously upset by this news! I would be too!! Holy shit, hang onto the "it's the thought that counts" message with everything you've got.

Also, don't think too much about the fact that the afterlife apparently knows exactly what will happen to people, down to how many cuts they accumulate in an accident. Also, don't think too much about where the afterlife foreseeing the crash begins and the unexpectedness of Yusuke interfering ends. That way lies madness. This will never come up again, so just let it go.

Sorry, 2013 me hijacked the post for a second.

As said, Yusuke is understandably upset by this revelation and as he fumes I'm reminded that this series likes to pull some amazing expressions.

Botan reiterates that it's all fine because Yusuke can come back to life. Weren't you listening? He should feel honored, in fact, considering that an offer like this only arrives every 100 years or so. Well, that explains why all of humanity isn't grappling with people coming back to life on the daily. One person every generation isn't going to cause much of a stir.

However, instead of jumping at the chance Yusuke announces that Botan is just like the teachers at school: she doesn't know what she's talking about. “You said yourself my life was kind of pathetic, right?” he says, going on to explain that everyone will be happier now that he's dead. His school won't have to deal with his behavior, Keiko won't have to nag him, and his mom will be able to party whenever she wants. It's a win-win for everyone involved. 

Hmm, this feels familiar. 

Don't worry, Yusuke doesn't need to experience a whole alternate reality to get the message.

“I’m sorry you feel that way at such an early age," Botan says and she is sorry, because despite her teasing nature that's a legitimately horrifying thing to believe. Yusuke won't budge though and after a little back-and-forth Botan leaves, telling Yusuke he should think it over while visiting his wake. She'll come back once he decides what to do.

“Do you have worms in your ears, lady? I did decide!” but Botan is long gone.

We cut to that night where Yusuke has indeed decided to attend his own wake. Maybe because of Botan's advice, maybe because he's just morbidly curious. We’re not given insight into the decision. 

Atsuko is a mess, to put it mildly, not dressed for the occasion and sitting slumped against the way, staring vacantly as the guests offer their condolences. Yusuke is surprised by the fact that his entire class is here, but quickly writes them off when he sees two of the boys laughing. I'm on the fence about this detail, which I'll unpack in just a second.

First though, Yusuke sees Keiko exiting the house, inconsolable in her grief. She collapses on the ground with her two friends trying to offer comfort, despite the fact that they had nothing good to say about Yusuke himself. Good on them.

Before he can think too long on this though, Yusuke is distracted by Kuwabara's arrival. Unlike Keiko's crying, he expresses his grief through yelling. Specifically, yelling at Yusuke. For dying. For daring to "run away." His own friends are physically holding him back as he charges into the wake, screaming, “Who am I gonna fight now, huh? Who am I gonna fight?" It's not really about the fighting, of course. At least, not the fighting alone. "You’re supposed to be here for me," Kuwabara finishes, the punch he's thrown at Yusuke's photo going limp and catching his first tear.

You know, for all the  goofy expressions, this show really is gorgeous. Just wait until we get to the fight animations.

Kuwabara's reaction is why I hesitate to write off the classmates like Yusuke has. Granted, we have no reason to believe that they care for him as Kuwabara does — they're nameless background characters defined only by their terror of "the great Urameshi" — but it's still a split second taken out of context. We don't know what they were laughing at, or if laughing is a part of their grief. God knows I personally laugh at the most inappropriate moments. If you tell me someone has just died there is a very good chance I will laugh awkwardly as I try to process that. It’s just a reflex. All of which I bring up not because these side characters are important, but because Yusuke's perception of his own worth is. The point of each of these moments is to show that those around him have always cared for him, even if Yusuke didn't notice. It's nice to think that extends to his classmates too. The variety likewise exists to show us how people grieve differently, with Kuwabara's friends not understanding that this is how he's working through the trauma: “This place is for mourning!” He is mourning, even if his way of mourning isn't as socially acceptable as Keiko's. So if screaming and throwing punches is valid, crying is valid, staring stoically in a drunk stupor is valid... why not laughter too?

Not likely, perhaps, but possible.

As an additional possibility to chew on, watching this premier again, it struck me how more emotional Kuwabara's scene is compared to Keiko's. Don't get me wrong, crying and calling Yusuke’s name gets the point across, but it's two seconds of generic grief compared to a much longer scene rife with intensity. When Kuwabara arrives the music swells and everyone is forced to pay attention to him. His grief is loud, violent, and given symbolism with his fist and the photo. There's more effort put into his reaction, frankly, so it wouldn't surprise me if fans started shipping them after this. That grief combined with an "enemies to lovers" possibility is a pretty potent mix. To be clear, Yusuke/Keiko is the (oh so obvious) canonical endgame and in the fandom Yusuke/Kuwabara can't compare to another slash ship that will turn up later, but this is a good example of how writers can craft some Very Gay Scenes without realizing it. When you have the girl crying prettily for a second and the guy absolutely losing his mind over Yusuke's death, questioning his purpose now, his support network, and then collapsing in grief... don't be surprised if your audience goes, "Oh hey, maybe they'd be a good couple instead."

But I digress.

The only people who are unquestioningly happy about Yusuke's passing are Mr. Iwamoto and his co-conspirator, Mr. Akashi. You know Akashi is another bad guy because he has bucked teeth and "ugliness" is an easy way to code for evilness. YYH is not immune to those mistakes :/

These two are really something else though, standing in the middle of a wake and claiming it's “too bad that car wasn’t big enough for them too," referring to Kuwabara and his friends. Wow! What stellar members of the academic community. Iwamoto goes on to say that Yusuke dying at least accomplished something good. Not, mind you, saving the life of a child, but rather looking good for their school's reputation. Akashi agrees, but says it's likely Yusuke only accidentally saved him while trying to steal the kid's lunch money. Remember, that accusation of theft is the one thing Yusuke has said outright that he does not do.

He's pissed listening to all this — wouldn't you be? — but knows by now he can't do anything about it. In another fantastic shot, Yusuke hovers his hand over Iwamoto's shoulder, desperate to grab him, when Takenaka's arrives there instead.

“What do you suppose is more disgraceful? That boy showing his misery, or your insensitive and idiotic words!”

HELL YEAH. You tell 'em, Mr. Takenaka.

Yusuke gets his third shock of the night at this passionate defense. Takenaka leaves the teachers to go pay his respects, but admits to Yusuke's picture that he just can't speak well of him. He was surprised to hear that Yusuke gave up his life for another and it's a fact that he acted selfishly. Though he doesn't say it in as many words, Takenaka explains that he's not grieving because Yusuke was a good person, but because it's so clear to him that he might have been. “Why didn’t you stay? You could have made something great out of yourself.”

Normally, "Why didn't you stay?" is just something for the living to grapple with, as the dead obviously don't have any say in what happens to them. But Yusuke does. It's here that the lighting grows soft again and Yusuke considers Takenaka's words. Keiko and Kuwabara grieve for who he was, but Takenaka grieves for who Yusuke could have been — someone that might still exist if Yusuke decides to undergo this ordeal.

Atsuko adds fuel to the emotional fire, breaking down and hiding her face in her knees.

Finally, the kid Yusuke saved arrives with his mother. Because yes, Yusuke saved him in every way that matters, considering no one else knows — or will know — that he'd have lived anyway. I like that the show doesn't allow that knowledge to undermine the emotion of their arrival, or what Yusuke’s act meant to them. 

The mom tells her son to pay his respects and the kid thanks Yusuke for saving him, and for "making faces." He clearly doesn't get what's going on here. This is confirmed as the two leave and he asks his mom if he can play with Yusuke again tomorrow. “I know some people sounded angry at him, but he’s really nice!" 

They're probably just crying because they want to play with him too, he thinks, which just makes his mom join in. Everyone is crying in this club tonight.

Those words are the cincher for Yusuke and with a brief montage of all the grief he's witnessed, he makes his decision.

We cut to later that night where Yusuke floats above the city, admiring the moon. Botan reappears and he asks, “Have you ever not known about something that seemed obvious to everyone else?” Yes, everyone has experienced that at one point or another. She asks if he's made his decision and Yusuke agrees to try and come back to life.

Emotional revelations out of the way, we're allowed another tone shift as Botan yells with joy, speeding off and causing Yusuke to grab hold of the end of her oar, lest he be left behind. Cranky as always, he demands to know where they're going. "To the spirit world, of course!" They're off to see someone who can explain the ordeal and give Yusuke the tool needed to complete it. Just hang on and enjoy the ride.

Thus ends our very first episode! Ah, the nostalgia. This is part one of a four arc series, with the anime cutting out a lot of the filler stories found at the start of the manga — a smart decision, I think. They primarily do the work of teaching Yusuke what he learned at the wake, so if you can accomplish that as quickly as the adaptation did, all the better. Especially since Yusuke needs to grow a great deal beyond the basic understanding that people might, sort of care for him, and that work will occur primarily through a job he's going to take on. The series isn't really about his death and it's not about an attempt to come back either — it's about what happens once you get that second chance. So this is the setup, but it's important setup all the same.

No need to skip ahead though. I've blathered enough for one recap. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you when the writing gods next bless me with energy! 💜

[crowdvscritic]

round up // NOVEMBER 20

Hi, I’m tired. Actually, my friend Celeste created a piece of art that puts the emphasis needed on that sentiment:

I’m very tired. November felt like it was three years and also felt like it went by in a blink and also I’m not sure where October ended and November began—how does time work like that? (I’ve yet to see Tenet, but maybe that will explain it.) But like Michael Scott, somehow I manage, and lately it’s been like this:

Late-night Etsy scrolling. Browsing beautiful, non-big-box-store artwork is very calming just before I go to bed. I’d recommend Etsy stores like Celeste’s chr paperie shop, which I know from experience is full of great Christmas gift ideas. 

Taking a day off of work to do laundry. I’m not sure if it’s more #adulting that I did that or that I was excited to do that.

Eating Ghiradelli chocolate chips straight from the bag. I actually don’t recommend this as a healthy option, but this is also not a health blog.

Watching lots and lots of ‘80s movies. One day I’ll ask a therapist why this decade of films is so comforting for me despite its many flaws, but for now I’m just rolling with it.

Reading. Have you heard of this? It’s a form of entertainment but doesn’t require screens—wild!

Memes. All good Pippin “Fool of a” Took jokes are welcome here.

Leaning into the Christmas spirit by ordering that Starbucks peppermint mocha, making plans to watch everything in that TCM Christmas book I haven’t seen, and keeping the lights on my hot pink tinsel tree on all day as I work from home.

This month’s Round Up is full of stuff that made me smile and stuff that sucked me into its world—I think they’ll do the same for you, too.

November Crowd-Pleasers

Sister Act (1992)

If in four years you aren’t in an emotional state to watch election results roll in, I recommend watching Whoopi Goldberg pretend to be a nun for 100 minutes. (Though, incidentally, if you want to watch that clip edited to specifically depict how the results came in this year, you’ll need to watch Sister Act 2.) This musical-comedy is about as feel-good as it gets, meaning there’s no reason you should wait four more years to watch it. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

Nevada Memes

Speaking of election results, Nevada memes. That’s it—that’s the tweet. Vulture has a round up of some of the best.

SNL Round Up

Laugh and enjoy!

“Cinema Classics: The Birds” (4605 with John Mulaney)

“Uncle Ben” (4606 with Dave Chappelle)

RoboCop (1987)

I’m not surprised I liked RoboCop, but I am surprised at why I liked RoboCop. Not only is this a boss action blockbuster, it’s an investigation into consumerism and the commodification of the human body. It’s also a critique of institutions that treat crime like statistics instead of actions done by people that impact people. That said, it’s also movie about a guy who’s fused with a robot and melts another guy’s face off with toxic sludge, so there’s a reason I’m not listing this under the Critic section. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Double Feature – ‘80s Comedies: National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) + Major League (1989)

The ‘80s-palooza is in full swing! In Vacation (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10), Chevy Chase just wants to spend time with his family on a vacation to Wally World, but wouldn’t you know it, Murphy’s Law kicks into gear as soon as the Griswold family shifts from out of Park. The brilliance of the movie is that every one of these terrible things is plausible, but the Griswolds create the biggest problems themselves. In Major League (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10), Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, and Wesley Snipes are Cleveland’s last hope for a winning baseball team. Like the Griswolds, mishaps and hijinks ensue in their attempt to prevent their greedy owner from moving the Indians to Miami, but the real win is this movie totally gets baseball fans. Like most ‘80s movies, not everything in this pair has aged well, but they brought some laughs when I needed them most.

This Time Next Year by Sophie Cousens (2020)

They’re born a minute apart in the same hospital, but they don’t meet until their 30th birthday on New Year’s Day. So, yes, it’s a little bit Serendipity, and it’s a little bit sappy, but those are both marks in this book’s favor. This Time Next Year is a time-hopping rom-com with lots of almost-meet-cutes that will have you laughing, believing in romantic twists of fate, and finding hope for the new year.

Double Feature – ‘80s Angsty Teens: Teen Wolf (1985) + Uncle Buck (1989)

In the ‘80s, Hollywood finally understood the angsty teen, and this pair of comedies isn’t interested in the melodrama earlier movies like Rebel Without a Cause were depicting. (I’d recommend Rebel, but not if you want to look back on your teen years with any sense of humor.) In Teen Wolf (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5/10), Michael J. Fox discovers he’s a werewolf.one that looks more like the kid in Jumanji than any other portrayal of a werewolf you’ve seen. It’s a plot so ‘80s and so bizarre you won’t believe this movie was greenlit.

In Uncle Buck (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), John Candy is attempting to connect with the nieces and nephew he hasn’t seen in years, including one moody high schooler. (Plus, baby Gaby Hoffman and pre-Home Alone Macauley Culkin!) This is my second pick from one of my all-time fave filmmakers, John Hughes (along with National Lampoon’s Vacation, above), and it’s one more entry that balances heart and humor in a way only he could do. You can see where I rank this movie in Hughes’s pantheon on Letterboxd.

Lord of the Rings memes

This month on SO IT’S A SHOW?, Kyla and I revisited The Lord of the Rings, a trilogy we love almost as much as we love Gilmore Girls. You can listen to our episode about the series on your fave podcast app, and you can laugh through hundreds of memes like I did for “research” on Twitter.

Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson (2019)

Most adults are afraid of children’s temper tantrums, but can you imagine how terrified you’d be if they caught on fire in their fits of rage? That’s the premise of this novel, which begins when an aimless twentysomething becomes the nanny of a Tennessee politician’s twins who burst into flames when they get emotional. The book is filled with laugh-out-loud moments but never leaves behind the human emotion you need to make a magical realistic story.

An Officer and a Gentlemen (1982)

Speaking of aimless twentysomethings and emotion, feel free to laugh, cry, and swoon through this melodrama in the ‘80s canon. Richard Gere meanders his way into the Navy when he has nowhere else to go, and he tries to survive basic training, work through his family issues, and figure out his future as he also falls in love with Debra Winger. So, yeah, it’s a schamltzier version of Top Gun, but it’s schmaltz at its finest. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

November Critic Picks

Double Feature – ‘40s Amensia Romances: Random Harvest (1942) + The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947)

Speaking of schmaltz at its finest, let me share a few more titles fitting that description. In Random Harvest (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), Greer Garson falls in love with a veteran who can’t remember his life before he left for war. In The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), Gene Tierney discovers a ghost played by a crotchety Rex Harrison in her new home. Mild spoiler: Both feature amnesiac plot developments, and while amnesia has become a cliché in the long history of romance films, Harvest is moving enough and Mr. Muir is charming enough that you won’t roll your eyes. You can see these and more romances complicated by forced forgetfulness in this Letterboxd round up.

The African Queen (1951)

It’s Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn directed by John Huston—I mean, I don’t feel like I need to explain why this is a winner. Bogart (in his Oscar-winning role) and Hepburn star in a two-hander script, dominating the screen time except for a select few scenes with supporting cast. The pair fight for survival while cruising on a small boat called The African Queen during World War I (in Africa, natch), and the two make this small story feel grand and epic. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)

A young man’s (Dennis Price) mother is disowned from their wealthy family because she marries for love. After her death, he seeks vengeance by killing all of the family members ahead of him in line to be the Duke D'Ascoyne. The twist? All of his victims are played by Sir Alec Guinness! Almost every character in this black comedy is a terrible person, so you won’t be too sorry to see them go—you can just enjoy the creative “accidents” he stages and stay in suspense on whether our “hero” gets his comeuppance. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

Bluebeard’s Eighth Wife (1937)

What would you do if you found out you were to be someone’s eighth wife? Well, it’s probably not what Claudette Colbert does in this screwball comedy that reminds me a bit of Love Crazy. This isn’t the first time I’ve recommended Colbert, Gary Cooper, or Ernst Lubitsch films, so it’s no surprise these stars and this director can make magic together in this hilarious battle of the wills. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

The Red Shoes (1948)

I love stories about the competition between your life and your art, and The Red Shoes makes that competition literal. Moira Shearer plays a ballerina who feels life is meaningless without dancing—then she falls in love. That’s an oversimplification of a rich character study and some of the most beautiful ballet on film, but I can’t do it justice in a short paragraph. Just watch (perhaps while you’re putting up your hot pink tinsel tree?) and soak in all the goodness. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 10/10

The Third Man (1949)

Everybody loves to talk about Citizen Kane, and with the release of Mank on Netflix, it’s newsworthy again. But don’t miss this other ‘40s team up of Joseph Cotten and Orson Welles. Cotten is a writer digging for the truth of his friend’s (Welles) death in a mysterious car accident. Eyewitness accounts differ on what happened, and who was the third man at the scene only one witness remembers? 71 years later, this movie is still tense, and this actor pairing is still electric. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

The Untouchables (1987)

At the end of October, we lost Sean Connery. I looked back on his career first by writing a remembrance for ZekeFilm and then by watching The Untouchables. (In a perfect world I would’ve reversed that order, but c’est la vie.) In my last selection from the ‘80s, Connery and Kevin Costner attempt to convict Robert De Niro’s Al Capone of anything that will stick and end his reign of crime in Chicago. Directed by Brian De Palma and set to an Ennio Morricone soundtrack, this film is both an exciting action flick and an artistic achievement that we literally discussed in one of my college film classes. Connery won his Oscar, and K. Cos is giving one of the best of his career, too. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

Remember the Night (1940)

Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck in my favorite team up yet! Double Indemnity may be the bona fide classic in the canon, but this Christmas story—with MacMurray as a district attorney prosecuting shoplifter Stanwyck— is a charmer. I’ve added it to my list of must-watch Christmas movies—watch for some holiday cheer and rom-com feels. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

Photo credits: chr paperie. Books my own. All others IMDb.com.

[happymeishappylife]

DC CW Shows

I finally caught up on all the DC Universe shows. Quite an accomplishment for me considering I was 2 seasons behind. It feels good to finally get caught up to speed, but some of them are starting to feel like chores getting through them, rather than fun entertainment. A concern that gets amplified by the fact that the producers want to add on 2 more shows to the line up. So I felt like it was a good idea to breakdown my thoughts on each of the shows and what I liked/didn’t like. Plus then I will break down my thoughts on Crisis, because I have a lot of them. I’ll also rank these as I go as far as which ones I liked best, beginning with least to best. So let’s begin:

#7 - The Flash

I used to love this show so much. The first two seasons were a lot of fun and I loved all the characters so much. Thanks to the writing though, I can’t honestly say I don’t like this show much at all anymore and that’s kinda sad. Part of the reason is it became soooo angsty. Like the reason The Flash was great, was it was the antithesis to the angst on Arrow which made it so refreshing to watch. Now it’s like everyone must suffer some sort of pain over the tiniest things or worse, they become entrapped in characters and situations like its been haunting them for years when it only got introduced a couple episodes ago. At this point the only characters I care about are Caitlyn/Frost, Joe and Cecile West, Wally (when he’s on, which is like never), and Ralph. And that’s painful that Hartley won’t be returning to fill that role anymore because he was the only one who still could joke and laugh around like old Team Flash.

Season 5: Overall season 5 had a pretty solid storyline despite some of the angsty writing. After a while though I got pretty sick of fighting Chicada over and over again, especially Grace’s version. My one big pet peeve with it though was the relationship of Nora to Barry and Iris. I’m sorry. I can’t honestly picture any 20-30 something meeting their adult daughter and automatically assuming the role of an actual parent and treating her like a preteen. That always felt super weird and uncomfortable. Not to mention it happened almost automatically with little to no hang ups on ‘is this really our kid? Should we trust her?’ Plus then it created angst between Barry and Iris which I’m really over at this point in the series because their relationship was never my favorite to begin with.

Season 6: A hot mess. Granted, because of Crisis and Covid-19, the season probably didn’t get a fair chance to play out to it’s full potential. But cutting the season into two arcs didn’t do it any justice. Especially because instead of having character growth, I felt like a lot of the characters regressed. Take Barry for instance. The whole first part of the season is him prepping/training the team to take over for him after Crisis since he believes he is going to die. Only when he doesn’t, he assumes the role of leader still without actually leading. He stops telling his team members key details and putting aside the fact he killed the speed force, he stopped being a hero. The whole fight scene with Mirror-Iris, was so bizarre to watch. Yes, Barry would never hurt the real Iris, but she’s not and instead he just stands there and gets stabbed over and over, crying at the end that she’s not there. It’s really hard to watch.

#6 - Arrow

Arrow used to be in my top 3 slots as last I left it. The storylines were still on point. But leading up to Crisis and the show ending, there were some things that worked for me and some that didn’t. Still, kudos to the team for standing their ground and saying that we’ve told all we can tell, let’s put this show to bed and give it a close it deserves. It made the ending super emotional, but at the same time satisfying despite, Oliver’s death in the universe. My only complaint is the fact that the producers can’t put it fully to bed and now want to reboot Arrow all over again with Mia and the canaries. Don’t get me wrong watching strong women take more of the leading roles is awesome, but not to tell and retell the same storylines.

Season 7: The first half of the season when Oliver was in Iron Heights was not my favorite. Mainly because as it continues to develop it was like all the reasons he got put in Iron Heights to begin with no longer mattered. Diaz is still on the lose, he’s still playing his games in prison, and really what was the point? Now the second half of the season where we focus on his rehabilitation into society and working with the SCPD to track and take down his sister Emiko, was actually good. Too bad it got horribly overshadowed by a time travel flash-forward storyline to introduce and make us care about Mia.

Season 8: Obviously this season was the closeout season and the season leading up to Crisis. But I liked the way they treated it. They gave cameo spots and guest starring spots to former faces like Thea (she’s still freaking awesome), Tommy, Moira, and even Merlyn came back. My only complaint was that all of sudden we did have another time travel situation on our hands to meet our future kids. Thankfully I felt Arrow overall took that development better than the Flash, which since that was only a couple episodes and not a season, says something about the writing. Plus the post-Crisis pilot for the Green Arrow and Canaries felt a little out of place given everything that happened and a little insulting.

#5 - Supergirl

There’s parts of Supergirl I still absolutely love to pieces and the writing that are still doing it the justice that started the show by telling storylines of not only heroism, but commentary on today’s events to help push for progress. I love the whole cast of characters and think the acting has been great. My only complaint is with Season 5 and the fact that the show is beginning to find its tipping point of being less than stellar. I mean, I still enjoy it, but it’s beginning to show its where and tear so I’m worried what’s going to happen as it continues forward. Especially as it gets hyperfixated on Lex Luthor, who don’t get me wrong is a fabulous villain, but isn’t that Superman’s arch nemesis, not Supergirl’s?

Season 4: What a great commentary to tell throughout the season that parallels the feelings and conversations being had about immigration in our own world. I thought the idea of the Alien Amnesty Act squaring off against Ben Lockwood and his Agents of Liberty was not only great commentary but great story telling. I also loved that we got to introduce Nia Nall into the series because she’s fantastic and has become one of my favorite characters. I even love the twist reveal of how Ben Lockwood isn’t the enemy, it’s really Lex Luthor and his communist Supergirl clone. Plus Jon Crier plays an amazing Lex Luthor.

Season 5: Don’t get me wrong, the stakes and the storylines with Leviathan and Obsidian North, I do think are important and worth telling, but they detracted from the main storyline that developed at the end of last season which was Lena and Kara’s new relationship. Yes, it was still hit on and explored, but by far that was the storyline I was interested in seeing the most, not Ramah Khan or Virtual Reality horror stories. Also, while I like Lex, thanks to his antics during Crisis, the second half of the season felt hijacked and became this witch hunt. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to see what he and Lillian are doing, but I wish it played out more in the shadows and less of the actual screen time. I’m also glad Lena is back on Kara’s side again. But Brainy better not be dead! He’s one of my favorites even if his motives during this season were hard to watch.

#4 - Batwoman

I actually really, really, really liked Batwoman’s first season. Getting to know the badass that is Kate Kane and watch the horror’s of Gotham play out week to week was such a refreshing change of pace. After all, The Flash and Supergirl are undeniably heroes and must carry those burdens(?) as they fight for truth and justice. And Oliver was a vigilante, but while he took down drug lords, weapons dealers, etc. the stakes of being a vigilante in Star City is nothing compared to wearing the cape in Gotham. I loved the cast and seeing the stories play out of their past and how they connect to each other and also how some of them discover who Batwoman is, was fantastic. Even as creepy as Alice is, I enjoyed seeing the performance of the completely unhinged and psychotic villain take the stage to play out her twisted fantasies. I also appreciate the openness that Kate brought to being an out and proud lesbian, even revealing her super identity to a teenager to prove that it does get better and lesbians can be awesome is super freaking powerful. I even like that with the shortened season, it didn’t feel like we got robbed of an awesome storyline, but now we get to why this ranks fourth on my list instead of higher: Ruby Rose left the show and we get a whole new Batwoman. I get that this is out of the hands of the producers and the writers and I am super sad to see her go. But its hard not to feel like we lost a whole season of introduction and development to just reset and begin again. I’m not sure how they will handle it, but I do hope that a lot of the cast stays and stays in their roles. Especially Luke and Mary who are a great team. Mary is also like my all time, instant-favorite character because not only is she super wicked smart, but she has so much humanity in her so I hope she still continues on the show.

#3 - Stargirl

 Yes, yes, this show is still airing which is why I can’t speak to the overall season arc in finality yet, but I absolutely have been loving this first season. Again, what a refreshing new reality to step into and what a great new storyline to pursue. This rag-tag group of teenagers becoming the new Justice Society of America is a fun telling and already, the stakes of the Injustice Society are so high! Like I was expecting that it was going to be like the other shows where slowly by slowly we meet all the bad guys in different seasons, but instead it feels a little flipped since we don’t have all our new heroes on the stage yet. Still I love Courtney and her relationship with Pat as she discovers these secrets of his past and their new home of Blue Valley. I love her recruiting reasoning to bring Yolanda and Rick into this crazy plan and even her acceptance of Beth becoming the new Doctor Midnight. Plus, the show keeps surprising me because on one hand, giving these teenagers these powers to help them redeem their self esteem is a great storyline, which is why I was expecting them to force us to like Cindy since the beginning of that episode was leading up to maybe becoming friends with her, but no. Turns out she is the super bitch and super villain of the show and that’s kinda awesome. Also I like how because their teenagers, their secret identities aren’t really that secret, which makes it’s kinda fun, but also dangerous. We’ll see how the last 3 episodes play out, but I can’t wait.

#2 - Black Lightening

Talk about real gritty, dark, and powerful storytelling. I enjoyed the first season, but these last two have been a real punch in the gut in good ways and the writers have been outdoing themselves to provide heartfelt, real, honest emotions and discussions to the world of superheroes, compared to the other shows. And it’s hard, but the gruesome nature of the show also highlights some of the real struggles going on in the Freeland Community which of course highlights the issues in our own world around the Black Community. The whole spinal chord ripping scene will haunt me forever and not only because they keep replaying it, but because of how insane that was. The cast is also great and I love that at the end of Season 3, it’s not just a family of super heroes, but a group of powerful metas squaring off against the government and the most dangerous threat of all so far: Gravedigger. Gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.

Season 2: Now that the whole family knows the stakes of what they have gotten themselves into with Tobias and revealing the girls have power, I love the way we got introduced to the ASA and the pod kids as a menial threat while still struggling to take down the perceived ‘bigger threat’ that is Tobias. Jennifer also having trouble coming to terms with her powers and how to use them I think was a great way to explore that not everyone wants to be a superhero, especially in antithesis to Nyssa who is a full on badass as Thunder and Blackbird. Watching Khalil’s story in this go from obedient lap dog to a runaway and finally a victim of Tobias’ violence was hard, but I felt was justified throughout and made him that character you want to root for, even when not everything he’s done has been great.

Season 3: What a harsh turn of direction. A full on occupation of Freeland, house arrest, killings on the street, and an underground railroad of metas or suspected metas completely changed the tune of this show. Watching each of the Peirces struggle to find out who the ASA is, what their doing, if their actions are justified and if the Marcovian threat was real was really fascinating to watch. The showdown with the Marcovians too with a whole team behind them was also a nice change of pace, even if their mission didn’t end the way they expected. I think the amplified stakes though of what happened and what’s to come will continue to develop into an incredible show, minus one now big problem I have, but I will detail that out below when we talk about Crisis.

#1 - Legends of Tomorrow

You can fight me, but Legends of Tomorrow is the best goddamn shown on this network for one simple fact: They don’t take themselves seriously. There is no real angst and because of that it makes the adventures so fun and so hilarious that its such a great break from all of the other shows. Plus, because they keep swapping new and old cast members into the show, it always feels new. Kinda that Doctor Who spirit, which I love. That and because there are hardly any rules to a time travelling group of heroes who don’t really want to be heroes, you get ridiculously themed episodes like Bollywood Musical or TV Crossovers. It is what makes the show a total blast.

Season 4: As the team gears up to track down magical creatures throughout history, you get the introduction of permanent team member, John Constantine who I freaking love for his cool, aloof character and yet sarcastic and sassy contrast to the sunshine and bro-squad that is Ray and Nate. I also love that the season not only was about capturing these magical creatures, but fully rehabilitating Norah Dhark into a good guy now accidentally turned fairy godmother. To be honest, I definitely did not see that one coming. I like that fighting the demon lord also helped transition the show from Season 4 to 5 to fight hell spawn creatures. Quite a leap from the original Legends concept, but again that’s what makes this show so fresh.

Season 5: Part of the other fun of Legends is getting to see old characters get reinvented. I loved the storyline with Charlie and her reveal to be Clothos, one of the 3 fate sisters and the reason the ancient loom got destroyed. I also loved Tala Ashe’s portrayal of Zari in a different timeline because the difference between tech-geek, super smart Zari and social influencer extraordinaire Zari were well done. Plus we got another awesome bro-squad member in Behrad who I hope sticks around for a while. The only bummer was saying goodbye to Ray Palmer. Ray has been one of my favorite characters in the Arrow-verse and seeing his exit was sad and partly because I think it could have been handled better. Like don’t get me wrong, seeing him have to get approval from Damian Dhark to marry Nora was entertaining and I’m glad he isn’t dead like Dr. Stein or Leonard Snart, but I just feel like the exit was a bit rushed. The good news is, it opens the door for Ray to return and I hope we get to seem in the future.

Alright...... To end this long spiel, let’s talk about Crisis on Infinite Earths and what that now means for all these shows. Because unfortunately.... it can’t be ignored. And I’m sorry to sound pessimistic, but to be honest, Crisis wasn’t my favorite story and was too hyped for the end result.

The only show who came out better for Crisis, in my opinion, was Arrow. Mainly because the story of Oliver’s last sacrifice to reboot the universe was the only one that made complete sense and doesn’t complicate the show after it happens. Granted it could be because it was used as the show’s exit, but still. I used to love crossover episodes and getting the whole team together, but now because there is soooo much going on in each show and such a large cast, these big multi-night and multi-universe shows just feel scattered because you are constantly hopping around and between each of the characters and all the individual storylines don’t matter. Like remember when Barry and Oliver would actually talk about what they were up against? Miss that. That and Oliver, Barry, and Kara stole the show even when it was other shows turn to shine. Like Kate was hardly in it, even in her own episode and the Legends weren’t in it at all. It was just Sara and Ray which was disappointing because as Crisis was their season opener, you missed a real chance to have the Legends save the day. Don’t get my wrong, there were some great moments during crisis and I liked the nod to past versions of the DC characters, including Brandon Routh getting to play Superman again, but overall it just made chaos for things that don’t make sense post-crisis.

Like yay, all our favorite heroes are in one place and created the justice league to help each other, but once Crisis is over, nope sorry, no one can be bothered to borrow a hero friend. Like that makes sense for some shows, Batwoman for instance isn’t that close to everyone and her storyline is so rooted in her own family drama, that ignoring the other supers made sense. The Flash’s stakes weren’t high enough to involve anyone else, so fine. And Legends of course travel through time and so aren’t around, fine. But Supergirl’s takedown of a longstanding secret group of people capable of bending Earth’s elements to create catastrophic events, isn’t enough to at least reach out to Cisco or Luke for help tracking them? That seems underwhelming. Plus where are the aliens in all the other cities now? Or the metas in National City? That’s a pet peeve, but more so because of the biggest twist in Crisis:

Pulling Black Lightening into the Arrowverse. Like the shows writers and producers, I think Black Lightening works better outside the Arrowverse which was the intent and goal from the get go. Pulling Jefferson Pierce’s family and world into the same Earth as all the other shows, no longer makes the shows storytelling as strong and maybe it was because this was a last minute decision, but there is just no justification post Crisis as to why they had to come in. I mean, The Flash and Black Lightening have metas related issues, you would think that alone would be a prime source of teaming up. Especially when Cisco goes out on a worldwide quest to document metas, you’re telling me skipped over Freeland? And where’s our favorite Kyrptonian to fight for truth, justice, and the American way as Freeland is being occupied by the ASA? Oh, what too busy going after Lex Luthor? Sorry, I’m not buying that Kara Danvers ignores racial injustice. Like I get that maybe it was a way to be able to use Black Lightening later in cross-over events, but the fallout from bringing them in this season with everything going on is a huge mistake in my opinion. And heck, having shows exist outside each other is probably a good thing. Too many and these crossover events don’t feel fun anymore, they just feel chaotic. I think I’m with the Legends on this one: the crossovers aren’t worth it anymore.

[whocalledhimannux]

TBATD Chapter 21 Note

~spoilers abound~

So here’s the thing about this ending:

I’ve had it planned from, essentially, the moment I came up with this AU.

I’ve been second-guessing it since that moment.

My personal struggle with this chapter (and, to some extent, the previous three) is because the focus of the plot shifts somewhat--for most of the fic we’ve been firmly with Katara, on how she adjusts to her life in the Fire Nation and her relationship with Zuko. And now the culmination of the plot is essentially on Zuko becoming Fire Lord and Aang becoming the Avatar--which, to be fair, is what happens in canon, too. In my version, Katara also doesn’t technically win her fight with Azula. And up until literally five hours ago, she didn’t fight Azula, because I assumed that Aang would go into the Avatar state in a rage the moment Katara was threatened with lightning, and I was concerned that reducing Katara to a healing role was kinda sexist. Then my dumb ass remembered that I established earlier in the fic that Aang actually does have legit control over the Avatar state in my fic because he’s been working on it for ~two years and it’s totally fine for Katara and Azula to have more back-and-forth until Aang decides to step in.

SO. My worries about internalized sexism have been somewhat assuaged, but I had already written out a shit-ton of meta about this ending so I’m just going to keep at it. Basically I dithered over this for months, but the fundamental ending never actually changed. Every time I tried to think of alternate endings, I came back to the real catalyst for this fic, which is Iroh’s insight from The Old Masters: 

Even if I did defeat Ozai--and I don’t know that I could--it would be the wrong way to end the war. History would see it as just more senseless violence, a brother killing a brother to grab power. The only way for this war to end peacefully is for the Avatar to defeat the Fire Lord…Someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor.

I mentioned this way back in my first chapter note; when I sat down to write this fic, I decided I wanted to change the established world as little as possible. I wanted Katara and Zuko to have all of the issues with each other they had in canon. I wanted the essential position of the Fire Nation and the South Pole to be the same. I wanted their friendships and familial relationships to be the same. I even tried to keep Zuko’s field trips! And I wanted Iroh to still be right about the politics of this slightly altered world.

Throughout the fic, I’ve touched on the ramifications of Iroh’s decision to kill his brother, in his relationship with Zuko, in Azula’s response (albeit hidden until like… now), in the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes’ perception of the Fire Nation, and a little bit in the Fire Nation’s perception of him as a ruler. Basically, he’s not trusted, nationally or internationally. And while Katara is, in my canon, very very well-liked, there are still some political limitations for her as a princess. So she can’t fix it until she’s Fire Lady--and she can’t be Fire Lady until her husband is the Fire Lord. Hence, Zuko becoming the Fire Lord takes a little bit of the focus in these later chapters.

Annnnnd then we get to the other part of Iroh’s statement, which is that the Avatar needs to be the one to end the war. Yeah. I think, if anything, that’s even more true in my fic than in canon. Think about it from the POV of, say, an Earth Kingdom general: “So, you’re telling me that they’ve had five Fire Lords in the last ~10 years, the first one died under mysterious circumstances after conveniently elevating his second son to the throne, the second one was killed extrajudicially by his brother, the third one was also accused of killing his nephew and abdicated to the fourth, who was then accused of being behind aforementioned assassination and was then usurped by the fifth one in a brawl that’s apparently totally legal by their standards… and I’m supposed to trust these people to be my friends?”

Somehow, I can’t see that working out. But the Avatar stabilizes things. The Avatar brings balance to the world, and is a neutral third party who can truly broker the peace… if and only if the people recognize his authority. Aang, in the world of this fic, disappeared for a hundred years, came back, died, came back again, and has been dicking around for two years while the adults solved all the problems. In canon, the world needed Zuko to be a good Fire Lord and Aang to be a fully realized and respected Avatar in order to achieve a true peace, and I felt that this fic needed those two things too.

I know that, since Aang didn’t appear for a big chunk of this fic, it might seem like a bit of a cop-out, but… I always felt energybending was a bit of a cop-out in canon, too. Sure, it makes sense when you know the broader context, but there was verrrrry little foreshadowing in the show itself prior to the series finale–and least for this fic you had the foreshadowing of canon!

Yes, that does mean that Katara doesn’t WIN-win the agni kai in this fic, but tbh I don’t know if she has to? Something I appreciate about Katara’s growth in the show is that, in Book One, her waterbending abilities and her access to combat instruction are really her main hangups… and then they’re not. From Book Two on, she is recognized as an unquestionable waterbending master and one of the most competent benders in the world, and she feels comfortable in that role--her conflict in the remainder of the show is more about her personal relationships and her “dark side,” so to speak.

The agni kai is a fitting end for her storyline in canon because it happens during the comet, when she should be at a massive disadvantage. Take that away, and like… yeah, Katara beat somebody. What else is new? I don’t think she has to prove her worth in this universe. She’s been living in the Fire Nation, which is comfortable with female fighters and doesn’t assume she’s weak… and she’s been earning a reputation as a total BAMF for the last couple of months.

Katara’s conflicts in this fic have been on those other insecurities: whether bloodbending is wrong, if her anger or resentment are justified, how she fits into this new home, how she connects with her old one, her relationship with Zuko. So the fact that she has showed up, that she’s publicly defended the nation, that she risked her life to save Zuko, those are all things she gets “credit” towards and things that wrap up her main character growth. Katara ending this fic as an incredibly popular Fire Lady with a strong, stable marriage is a win from my perspective.

BONUS: this was my favorite ending for Azula.. I am working on a follow-up fic that will follow Azula. I’ll be upfront with y’all in saying that it is not finished and will not be up for a few months, at LEAST. (The reason I was able to update this fic every two/three days is because I spent four months writing it w/o posting a word.) I always kind of wished we’d seen Azula’s breakdown drawn out a little more in canon, and I was reeeeaaaaally pissed when I saw how Azula was treated in the beginning of The Search. When I considered Azula’s end in this fic (and how she might progress in a follow-up fic), I thought long and hard about what rock bottom would really look like for her, specifically what kind of issues she might be dealing with instead of the generic “craziness” that is treated pretty terribly in the comics, and what recovery would look like.

I think being without her firebending is unquestionably Azula’s rock bottom. Her identity as a prodigy means everything to her. From her perspective, she’s never really been loved by her mother or her uncle or Zuko–it’s all been Ozai, and his love has been predicated on her success. In canon, she got a glimpse of how easily Ozai would turn his back on her, and that’s her real breaking point; in this fic, she never got that, so while she has been dealing with grief in a pretty terrible, unhealthy way, her real breaking point is the loss of The Thing that ties her to her father.

But I think that also offers her the best chance for true recovery and redemption, because it strips her of the delusion that she is perfect and untouchable and doesn’t actually need love. Azula defines herself by her success, and what is she without success? She would say nothing; Katara, Zuko, et al, would say you’re still a person, actually, still a human being deserving of respect and love and forgiveness. My version of energybending and recovery is going to be a bit different than how it plays out in LoK, because Selective Death of the Author, and I think her recovery of her bending in my way will parallel her recovery in general quite nicely.

So. that’s a lot of meta for an ending I changed halfway through. I have spent so much time thinking about this fic and it’s truly been a joy, even when it’s been a pain in the ass. Thank you all so much for sticking with me.

[ravens-shadows]

I guess I’m updating my rant on Tom Riddle to an actual essay so be patient with me

I don’t even remember what I wrote last time lol but I wanted to do my full analysis now that I’m not in rage if that makes sense.

Let’s go by parts.

First, his parents.

So we are given Merope Gaunt and Tom Riddle Sr., and they tell us this woman just straight up drugged her crush and then expected him to stick around and love her? Like, she literally raped him. I can’t fucking blame him for just going back home and abandoning her, because that would be so traumatising. And what angers me the most about this, is that Rowling makes it seem like he was the bad guy because he ‘abandoned’ them. But all my issues with Rowling will have to wait for another day.

When Tom is born, he is raised in the orphanage, and it’s stated early on that he ‘does not have emotions’, and is ‘naturally evil’. But the thing is, was he really incapable of love just because he was conceived under the influence of amortentia? If he really had no love inside of him, by basic logic he wouldn’t have any other emotions, because is utterly ridiculous even by the standards of a magical world. In other words: he was capable of loving as much as any other child, the thing is, he wasn’t given the opportunity to learn how to love, which is precisely the whole basis of his character!

Growing up, he was looked down as the weird, abnormal kid, bullied both by the other kids in the orphanage and the adults too. And what the fuck are you supposed to do in the situation? There was no one to really explain how wrong the actions of those around him were, and kids absorb everything like sponges. In his eyes, their behaviour was normal, and therefore the way to avoid getting hurt was hurting them even worse. And let’s entertain for a moment the idea that love is the only emotion he didn’t have, which yet again, is portrayed ridiculously! Love had nothing to do with the situation he lived in. He could still felt fear and anger, and even guilt, but we were never showed that because, oh no, he’s the villain and he’s absolutely evil.

Dumbledore walks in. This. Fucking. Bitch.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, who could have ended the war before Harry even started Hogwarts but didn’t because a stupid prophecy said so.

Dumbledore takes a look at this kid, after hearing a very biased opinion on him, and in that second he decides that this child is too far gone and can’t help him. And, of course, Tom is not stupid and he can see that Dumbledore doesn’t like him and he obviously will avoid him from now on and in consequence won’t trust any other adult.

And here is the worst part: even in a world where his magic isn’t rare, no one cares. The adults give a fuck about him, they never offer help. They know about the abuse he’s suffered for years and are doing nothing about it, so he starts making himself stronger. If only he was stronger, no one would hurt him again.

Then we get to the worst fuck up Rowling did with this wonderful character, because why, why in friggin hell, would he be afraid of death?

It doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t add up to everything that’s been building up in the background. He is sixteen at this point, asking about horrocruxes so obviously he is already looking for ways of staying alive, but it doesn’t make any sense! Sure, if he was an adult it would make more sense, but in this point in time there is absolutely no reason whatsoever for this ridiculous thing to pop up.

It doesn’t make sense that he wants to kill his father because he abandoned him, he would be angry and bitter but Tom is smart and being sane at this point would know that there is absolutely no point in doing it. It doesn’t make sense that he is afraid of an abstract construct that he probably doesn’t understand completely like any other teenager. It doesn’t make sense that he has plans of becoming a dark Lord at all, because in this point in time, he is in the middle of the war with Grindelwald, a war that started before he was even born, and wouldn’t finish until he was nineteen years old in 1945. Nothing makes sense (but hey, what can I expect from J.K. Rowling).

Anyway, let’s get going. Let’s imagine this makes sense despite being absolute shit, and he makes his horrocruxes.

Is should be widely known that he was fucking insane at this point. An horrocrux splits the soul in two, so he would have just have half of his soul before making the second one and so on.

From here on, his actions make more sense because he is not human anymore by any means, and he is completely bonkers, let’s face it. Mass homicide was expected to happen.

Now let me tell you why he is one of the best characters despite the author butchering him. Important to note that most people look to Harry as a survivor of abuse and I’m a 100% on board with it, but let’s not pretend their situations are in the same level.

Proof 1: Tom is an abuse survivor too, and in many ways I think it was possible he would have been killed if it wasn’t for his magic, a magic he knew he had and used. In other circumstances, he would have ended up in a similar situation to Credence. His actions are seen to be evil, but the main point of his whole character and this is stated, is that he acts in anger, pain and fear. He is afraid. And in the correct way of telling his story, his fear is justified. He is afraid because despite being ‘special’, people still cast him out. His fear is not the fear of death that was sold to us, is the fear that no one will ever feel the slightest empathy for him, that no one will ever understand how it feels like. His pain comes from being treated like a monster, by not receiving any kindness in his whole life, because even after Hogwarts he had no friends, just followers fascinated by his natural power and talent.

Proof 2: Tom’s ‘inability to love’ is simply the fact that he does not know what is love. How could he? He’s never been shown what it is. And later on, mental disorders can be developed, specially in cases like this, when the child eventually starts rejecting any kind of affection (a condition that doesn’t have a cure). The way this whole thing comes down would have made an even better character, and he wouldn’t even be the villain. I wholeheartedly believe that if he had been written correctly, there would have been a real villain, Dumbledore (not to say he is evil, but you don’t have to be evil to be a villain), and Tom would have been more of an antagonist. This may have given the opportunity to have a special interaction between him and Harry when he realises this teenager isn’t that much different than him. And Harry could have found too someone who understands how it feels to be a freak. This two have the potential of a great relationship that doesn’t necessarily have to be on good terms, but they would have naturally developed mutual respect by still being able to dislike each other and it would have been more logical, more natural.

Proof 3: Tom is, in reality, a good person. He is a little bit of a sociopath, as a matter of fact, but he is often described as quite a genius (?) child. He is smart, brilliant, and clever. If we ignore the nonsense of dark lords and horrocruxes, Tom would have fought to change the magical world for all those who are outcasts like him. While the ministry has laws against magical creatures, Voldemort is constantly making alliances with them, not only because is convenient, but because he genuinely does not care what they are. His hatred for muggles is exaggerated but understandable, but if he truly believed in wizards supremacy, he would not trust nor ally himself with werewolves, giants, etc. Tom is so brilliant that, even when Dumbledore suspected him when young, he got away with the things he wanted because he was so careful as to not leave any evidence of his plans, until it was too late. Once having this redirected, he could have perfectly fit in politics or similar places. He is charming and can easily make people do his bidding. He would have used this to get justice. Maybe not in the most peaceful way, but his intentions wouldn’t have been bad.

Of course, much of what I’ve said can be biased but I’m not here to be totally fair, I’m here to proclaim my love and devotion for what Tom Riddle could have been.

There is so much to this single character that deserves his own series of books because there is a lot of wasted potential. Harry and Tom are such parallels and yet, their whole dinamic was simple and vague, with good points but had as much significance as it would have been with any other protagonist with a totally different backstory.

Tom Riddle is this traumatised yet strong character, even if he isn’t good, but... cartoonish villains I guess.

Thanks to coming to my ted talk... if you managed to go through the whole thing.

English is not my first language, sorry for all my fuck ups

[Shameless side note: I do have a fanfic where Tom is the chosen one, and it’s not very good because I suck at everything but if you wanna check it out is here]

[hufflly-puffs]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Chapter 17: A Sluggish Memory

“Late in the afternoon, a few days after New Year, Harry, Ron and Ginny lined up beside the kitchen fire to return to Hogwarts. The Ministry had arranged this one-off connection to the Floo Network to return students quickly and safely to the school.” – But what about those students who don’t have access to the Floo Network, like Hermione and other Muggleborns? And it also doesn’t seem like they all arrive at the same time, so McGonagall has students dropping in her office all day.

So Apparation lessons cost no less than 12 Galleons? And the fact that Ron not mentioned this once, just like he didn’t talk about his new potions book costing 9 Galleons, really must mean the Weasleys have more money now.  Though I think it is interesting that Apparation is something you don’t learn at school but through a Ministry approved course. Bit like driving lessons then. And just like them perhaps not every student can afford them.

“‘I forgot you’d already done it … I’d better pass my test first time,’ said Ron, looking anxious. ‘Fred and George did.’ ‘Charlie failed, though, didn’t he?’ ‘Yeah, but Charlie’s bigger than me,’ Ron held his arms out from his body as though he were a gorilla, ‘so Fred and George didn’t go on about it much … not to his face, anyway …’” – Despite the fact that the twins are no longer at school Ron still thinks about their reaction and compares himself with them. But I guess lifelong unhealthy habits are hard to get rid of.

“Lost in visions of this happy prospect, he flicked his wand a little too enthusiastically, so that instead of producing the fountain of pure water that was the object of that day’s Charms lesson, he let out a hoselike jet that ricocheted off the ceiling and knocked Professor Flitwick flat on his face. ‘Harry’s already Apparated,’ Ron told a slightly abashed Seamus, after Professor Flitwick had dried himself off with a wave of his wand and set Seamus lines (‘I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick’).” – You know I don’t think we appreciate Flitwick as a character enough.

“‘It was Fudge’s idea originally, you know. During his last days in office, when he was trying desperately to cling to his post, he sought a meeting with you, hoping that you would give him your support –’ ‘After everything Fudge did last year?’ said Harry angrily. ‘After Umbridge?’” – You know, now that I think about it, Fudge never actually apologized, which was the very least he could do. He would have if he had ever had the chance to meet Harry, but only to get him on his side. I’m not sure Fudge actually felt remorse for the way he treated Harry. He created his own version of the truth, where he justified all of his actions.

“‘So, sir,’ said Harry, in what he hoped was a polite, calm voice, ‘you definitely still trust –?’ ‘I have been tolerant enough to answer that question already,’ said Dumbledore, but he did not sound very tolerant any more. ‘My answer has not changed.’” – I think this is the only time Dumbledore is strict with Harry. But it is a question of trust. Just as Lupin told Harry over Christmas: the question is not whether to trust Snape but if you trust Dumbledore’s judgement of Snape’s character. And obviously Dumbledore can’t tell Harry why he trusts Snape; in the end only Snape could make the choice to share this information with Harry. But Dumbledore asks Harry to trust him and Harry can’t, not entirely, not when it comes to Snape, and this causes a small rift between them.

“‘No, I did not. Though he had shown no hint of remorse, it was possible that he felt sorry for how he had behaved before and was resolved to turn over a fresh leaf. I chose to give him that chance.’ Dumbledore paused and looked enquiringly at Harry, who had opened his mouth to speak. Here, again, was Dumbledore’s tendency to trust people in spite of overwhelming evidence that they did not deserve it! But then Harry remembered something … ‘But you didn’t really trust him, sir, did you? He told me … the Riddle who came out of that diary said “Dumbledore never seemed to like me as much as the other teachers did”.’ ‘Let us say that I did not take it for granted that he was trustworthy,’ said Dumbledore. ‘I had, as I have already indicated, resolved to keep a close eye upon him, and so I did. […]” – There is a clear parallel to Snape here. Same as he did with young Tom Dumbledore decided to give Snape a second chance, because everyone deserves one. And yet, it is possible Dumbledore never trusted Snape a hundred percent either; at least he kept a close eye on him as well. His refusal to give him the position for the DADA teacher for so long indicates this, because Dumbledore wanted to keep Snape away from the Dark Arts as much as possible. Unlike Tom Riddle though Dumbledore knows that Snape feels remorse for his actions, and he knows the very reason why, and in the end this is why he puts the ultimate trust in Snape, telling him about the Horcruxes, asking Snape to kill him, trusting Snape to play his role in Dumbledore’s big plan even after Dumbledore’s death.

“‘I have not been able to find many memories of Riddle at Hogwarts,’ said Dumbledore, placing his withered hand on the Pensieve. ‘Few who knew him then are prepared to talk about him; they are too terrified.” – This indicates that those people do know that Tom Riddle became Lord Voldemort. However I always had the impression that Hagrid never knew that Tom Riddle and Voldemort are the same person, and that Voldemort himself did the best to leave his past behind him, in changing both his name and face, creating a completely new identity. Perhaps those people who knew him back then, knew him as Tom Riddle, are right to be terrified, because the secret to defeat Voldemort is in his past, in those very few unguarded moments, before the man became a monster.

“Finally he was forced to accept that his father had never set foot in Hogwarts. I believe that it was then that he dropped the name for ever, assumed the identity of Lord Voldemort, and began his investigations into his previously despised mother’s family – the woman whom, you will remember, he had thought could not be a witch if she had succumbed to the shameful human weakness of death.” – I think human life in itself is defined by the fact that it will end. And knowing that our time is limited gives it value in the end. But I think Voldemort perhaps did define himself to be above humans. Being a wizard already made him special, and even among other wizards he was special, with his heritage, with his abilities. But even wizards die, even magic can’t prevent death, not until you are ready to sacrifice your soul. (And what’s a human without a soul?) And so Voldemort created himself and shaped himself into something barely recognizable as a human being, because if you are no longer human you can longer die. But when he does die in the end the question is as what.

I do wonder if Morfin put one and one together and realized that Merope gave birth to a son who turned out to be a wizard, or if he was simply too drunk (and dumb) to realize the truth.

We do learn two very importing things about memories in this chapter: you can implant a false memory into the mind of someone else and you can alter your own memory. Therefore not even memories can be a reliable source. They can be changed, erased or overwritten, and this again is another case of abusing consent. We are made of our memories and to take them away, to change them or to implant us false memories changes fundamentally who we are.

Also Dumbledore says he gained Morfin’s real memory through Legilimency, so Morfin did not give Dumbledore his memory freely. It is possible he agreed that Dumbledore could use Legilimency on him, otherwise the whole thing is quite problematic, no matter Dumbledore’s intentions.

“‘You are quite right – they can detect magic, but not the perpetrator: you will remember that you were blamed by the Ministry for the Hover Charm that was, in fact, cast by –’ ‘Dobby,’ growled Harry; this injustice still rankled. ‘So if you’re under age and you do magic inside an adult witch or wizard’s house, the Ministry won’t know?’” – Remember in book 4 when Hermione used a spell (I think it was ‘Lumos’) during the Quidditch World Cup, after the mass panic had broken out, and nothing had happened to her? Now we know why. There were so many wizards and witches there, all of them using magic, that it was impossible to trace that spell back to her (and Hermione probably knew that because she had read it somewhere). But considering this, the rule that forbids underage wizards and witches to use magic, is stupid. Basically every child in a magical household could get away with it, though I wonder how many of them know about it. Earlier Ron did complain over Christmas that he could not use magic to help him peeling sprouts for Christmas dinner. And if you, like Harry, are the only wizard within your neighbourhood every bit of magic will be traced back to you, even if you are sometimes not responsible.

“Harry noticed that the contents proved difficult to empty into the Pensieve, as though they had congealed slightly; did memories go off?” – Imagine it though, all those memories with little ‘best before’ labels.

“His right hand lay negligently upon the arm of his chair; with a jolt, Harry saw that he was wearing Marvolo’s gold and black ring; he had already killed his father.” – Not sure if the opening of the Chamber of Secrets happened before or after the murder of his remaining family, but Riddle leaves school and has already committed four murders. What is interesting is that he only learns now about Horcruxes, after he had killed his father and grandparents. So is it possible to create a Horcrux even some time after the murder, not just in the process of it?

“It is, as you will have noticed, very crudely done, and that is all to the good, for it shows that the true memory is still there beneath the alterations.” – I wonder if you can erase a memory for good. Dumbledore was able to find Morfin’s real memory underneath a false one, and it is the same with Slughorn: the real memory is still there. Despite both Riddle and Slughorn being very talented wizards they could not fully erase/change a memory. I wonder however what it does to you and your mind if the real memory is still there, but hidden, what kind of trauma that can cause.

“‘He [Slughorn] is much more accomplished at Occlumency than poor Morfin Gaunt, […].” – This does make it sound like Dumbledore took Morfin’s memory against his will.

“‘No, I think it would be foolish to attempt to wrest the truth from Professor Slughorn by force, and might do much more harm than good; I do not wish him to leave Hogwarts.” – So Dumbledore does not want to use force on Slughorn because it is morally wrong but because he is afraid Slughorn might leave (though it is possible he is simply afraid Slughorn will become a target again outside Hogwarts). But clearly Dumbledore thinks the end does justify the means.

Also, Dumbledore does the very same as Scrimgeour, he uses Harry for his own means. He might be more open about it his intentions; he told Harry he needed him to get Slughorn back to Hogwarts in the first place and now he needs him to get the real memory from Slughorn. And perhaps it is the fact that he acknowledges that he needs Harry, that he uses him, that makes Harry agree to do what he is told. Harry trusts Dumbledore and his trust is repaid with honesty (as honest as Dumbledore can be with Harry at this point).

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #183

UPDATE 183: Narrative Takeover

Last time everything went wrong for so many characters. John’s fight with Caliborn went awry, Jane’s plan to seduce Jake didn’t work because he kept thinking of Dirk, and Dave and Karkaroni’s political strategy meeting got derailed by Jade deciding it was a good time for romantic overtures. So now let’s continue.

So, now that they have been dumped in middle of the chaos that’s destroying all the known existence and reality, John checks the situation. Lord English is up there, in front of the black hole, seemingly impervious to its strong absorbing effect.

Unlike his younger form, his eyes aren’t flickering wildly. They’re locked in place, an eight ball in each socket.

If I remember correctly from the booklet about pool I read like six years ago when I started playing pool for fun, the eighth ball is the last one you must sink, so I’d say it indicates it’s endgame. I think it also had happened in Arc 7. Symbolism!

Tavros is over there, leading an army, Vriska is nowhere to be seen and presumably is very dead, and Meenah was supposed to be going away, I think? Anyway, it’s fight time! Everyone already has their weapons at the ready – all the weapons that are supposed to hit Lord English pretty hard – and Rose tries to remind them what exactly their plan is. She barely gets a single word out before she’s dead.

But Rose doesn’t get to finish what she was trying to say. Lord English’s mouth roars open and a wave of energy blasts through your group. Rose is the only one caught in it. She dissolves in slow motion. You can see the outline of her body in shadow. One arm thrown up over her eyes, shoulders pulled up defensively, cape billowing out behind her. She leaves an afterimage of shimmering light in her wake and then dissipates, drifting apart like a handful of salt tossed out to sea. You can almost hear the cosmic clock counting down, tick tock, and a chime to accompany her fate: Heroic.

This fight lasted like three seconds before it all looked grim as heck for John and friends. This is going to wreck everyone’s morale and ruin whatever effective plan they had, as I really doubt Rose was supposed to stand aside and let everybody else act. They’re so doomed.

As if to underscore how screwed they are, Jade tries to use her powers and finds out the black hole up there is where the green sun used to be. It made Lord English vulnerable, but she’s powerless now too. Whooops. Kind of a big oversight. How didn’t John or Future Rose foresee that detail? It’s kind of important!

With that, two of the four are now dead and they haven’t gotten started for real. Dave is trying to cut Lord English with the cueball sword, John is...standing around, I suppose, until he snaps out of it and surrounds Lord English with wind, capturing him until he tries to smash his skull with the hammer. Lord English eats the hammer. I’m...okay, I didn’t see that coming. I appreciate the move a lot. John can’t do much else because his glasses are broken, so he can’t see well at all. Good thing Meenah is around now! What a lifesaver!

Time to assess the situation and check how badly things have turned in...like a minute or so. As I always say: a minute is quite a long time in a fight!

Ghostly Tavros and another one of John’s hammers join the list of casualties, Meenah deciding to go in for the kill. Not unless you turn into Dave, gal! Not that Dave is faring much better, he’s trying to harm Lord English but he’s way too fast, even for Dave, who is no slouch in the agility department. That’s incredibly quick, and he’s not fueled by the green sun right now. Everything is awful for the heroes here!

Meenah is launched away and I can only guess she’s dead, because in this scenario being thrown away is kind of fatal due to the huge black hole up there. Dave is under Lord English’s foot, John barely saves him by throwing more hammer at Lord English for him to eat, and tries to set up a hammer barrier to prepare that silly thing he made with the legendary Zillyhoo and Vriska’s dice. If they need a lucky hit they sure need it now!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < waaaaaaaaaaaait

...oooooooh no. I had completely forgotten this existed. Hey, what’s new? Will you be able to defeat Lord English? At least Dave is reacting with horror, which is the right reaction when you see a copy of yourself that was merged with a cat. Davepetasprite is being inspirational, trying to psyche up Dave, and it works!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i know it looks pawful right now but we can do it

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in fact were literally the only ones who can do it

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < after all

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < it is our destiny B33

You also are the last three people left here, so I don’t think it’s much about destiny at this point.

Somehow, between the three of them they manage to do real damage on this monster. John’s hitting him with hammers even if Lord English keeps eating them, Dave slashes and actually gets blood, and Davepeta scratches with the claws. The cycle continues, Lord English almost eats John’s favorite hammer, just that this time he almost gets John himself. Well then. This story is truly something.

Apparently John got injured with Lord English’s teeth or something, because he’s bleeding heavily. I swear, if John dies because he got bitten by Lord English I’m going to be astonished, because that was never a cause of death I imagine would ever happen.

You lift your chin and see it: Lord English’s gold tooth cracked off at the base and embedded in your chest. It must be stuck between two of your ribs, you think, because it hurts like a bitch when you try to breathe.

Oof, you’re in big trouble! When you have something embedded into you you really shouldn’t take it out unless you’re in a professional’s hands, so it’s pretty likely John will have that tooth embedded into him for quite a while. Dave isn’t doing too badly, managing to stab Lord English with the cueball sword up the hilt, unfortunately leaving him vulnerable to Lord English’s maw. Oh god, he has tasted human blood, everyone run! Too late for Dave, though, he gets his head bitten off.

Won’t lie, that’s pretty brutal as far as deaths go. Damn!

Obviously this enrages Davepeta, who grabs Lord English and flies up to the black hole, dragging him along. That was an option? Maybe it’d have been great to have done that much earlier, before Dave died. Really would have been nice.

The black hole—the gaping, implacable, cosmic embodiment of the dead cherub, his long-departed sister—finally welcomes Lord English home.

English and Davepeta are sucked in with a subatomic whimper. The reunion sends shock waves across the pitiful remains of Paradox Space. And then everything is wholly, utterly, and categorically silent. It’s over. Lord English is dead.

Ding dong, the witch is dead. Somehow it’s done! Excellent! Now, here comes opinions about this whole sequence.

To be perfectly honest, this left a lot to be desired. The least of my complaints is the length – for a climactic fight it’s a little bit short. Which isn’t really a problem here, given this isn’t Homestuck anymore, it’s the epilogue. The fight not getting focus is fine and dandy, honestly. I’m actually surprised we got a fight at all.

What I will complain about, though, is that for something that pretty much only Davepeta got to do something worthwhile. It feels like pretty much everyone else who intervened, both alive and dead, were there just to die. It’s pretty disappointing, really. I think I’d have been okay with that if they at least had managed to do something before dying.

Curiously enough, if this had been incorporated into the story, characters dying so fast would have been less bad. I’d say this being part of epilogues is what makes this be treated differently to how it’d be otherwise. But yeah, Lord English is dead, and there’s plenty of epilogue left. I suppose that means the political stuff is what’ll fill the rest of the epilogue in this route, no?

You collapse against whatever is passing for the floor at this moment of utterly null corporeal conditions surrounding you. It doesn’t feel possible. You’re not sure you can even trust your perception well enough to believe it. But it seems to be over. You’ve convinced yourself of this truth well enough to allow yourself to exhale. Enough to allow yourself to suddenly acknowledge the agony coursing through your body, emanating from the gold tooth lodged in your chest. Enough to allow yourself to succumb to the overwhelming urge to sleep.

He’s so dead. And so, all the Wonderkids are dead, total party kill. They tried and they succeeded, mostly thanks to a timely intervention by what turned out to be the best sprite just for killing Lord English, and now they’re all dead. I’m pretty sure by now this makes Homestuck qualify as a Greek tragedy.

Ah, there’s the conversation Rose and Dirk are going to have. She starts by talking about that novel she wrote in her diaries, the ones about wizards. She feels the story as written by the adult Rose Dirk knew from his original world didn’t have as much passion as she did when she wrote the original draft in her journals. Maybe! When you write something for a widespread public, you have to kill a liiiiittle of your own passion to tailor it for a wider audience. It’s a cynical thought, I admit, but I believe I’m right.

ROSE: Anyway, my point is that I’ve long suspected my story was a pre-manifestation of my Seer of Light powers. I was seeing beyond my universe into another.

Doesn’t sound farfetched to me, I must say. It’s possible that, from her early ages, she was unconsciously starting to tap onto the many powers and abilities that come with her title and role. I mean, Mom Lalonde was there, and I believe in her own way she’d help pave the way for the kids to achieve what was needed to triumph. She may have done something, inadvertently or not, that led to Rose writing her novel in a fit of inspiration. Who knows. Certainly not me, and it’s such a minuscule point in the vast net of Homestuck I doubt it’ll be ever touched.

I hadn’t noticed until now that in the end a total of twelve players had crossed the door into the new universe. Fun number for that. Also, Terezi’s name is among them, so she did get to the new universe after all. What happened to her?

All these numbers may or may not have significance. Hah! Well it depends on what kind of author writes the story. Given it’s Hussie, well, I’m inclined towards thinking there’s some significance. Whether the reader will find out about it is an entirely different manner, of course.

Of course Dirk has given his current situation a lot of thought, he even has theories about what’s it. I’m listening, pal, enlighten me about this new plotline.  

DIRK: I mean, some of us have stopped using our powers completely. Not a whole lot of need for emergency resurrections or complex timeline manipulation on a planet that’s never had a conflict more serious than a sportsball riot or a rumpled hat shortage.

DIRK: But even aside from how often they’re used...

DIRK: Some powers don’t lend themselves to the infinite expansion of one’s mind, the way ours do.

ROSE: I see.

ROSE: So what you’re saying is, it’s more a matter of one’s aspect than it is whether one’s powers are practiced further, or allowed to atrophy.

DIRK: Yep.

So it all depends on the power. It’s not like everyone’s going to start suffering this too, it seems to be limited to what aspect it is. Perhaps Jade and Dave would go through this too? Other than them, I’m not sure anyone else would.

ROSE: In that case, perhaps Terezi had the right idea.

ROSE: Getting away from this place, I mean.

ROSE: Maybe I was a fool for imagining I could settle down here.

Ah, so that’s what happened to Terezi. She left. Maybe she had a feeling things wouldn’t go well, it does make sense she’d be feeling the awfulness Dirk and Rose feel right now. With her Mind aspect, it does make sense she would. Where’d she go, though? Is she a nomad around the world or something?

Dirk’s taking this easier than most would because he’s used to multitasking. Ah, right, he did have his dreamself and his realself, dealing with both must have given him some practice. Still, two is nowhere close to the infinity of everything, so I’m skeptic it’s as good of a training as he says it was.

ROSE: I’m caught in the liminal space between reality and reverie, where people once believed demons dwelled. But the only reason the demon is still sitting on my chest is because I refuse to banish it. All it would take is looking directly at it.

ROSE: I’m forcing myself to stumble through my life as a sleepwalker. All this pain and sorrow could go away if I would just allow myself to wake up.

DIRK: Then why don’t you?

ROSE: Because I’m not sure that the person opening her eyes will be me.

Brings to mind that about us being someone’s dream and, when that someone wakes up, it’s all over. It’s the kind of thing that brings existential crisis when you think about it too hard, isn’t it? So, if Rose here’s experiencing something similar, she’s not going to have a good time because she’s the kind of person who thinks a lot. Nobody should be jealous of these two, that’s awful.

Dirk, in what’s unusually close to sympathy, crouches and takes off his sunglasses, looking straight at Rose’s eyes. He admits he’s a very flawed person and shouldn’t be always right, and that he knows all about his own flaws.

Rose’s eyes have grown distant, almost mirrorlike. Dirk can see himself reflected in her vacant stare.

ROSE: All the pieces in their place.

ROSE: The mechanisms all running smoothly.

She says this in a hollow tone. It’s the disarming voice a puppeteer ventriloquizes for a marionette.

...okaaaay, something happened. If I’m understanding this and the next few sentences correctly, Dirk pretty much took over Rose. I don’t know why, he just did. Althoooough...hm. It’s still early. Maybe the reasons will be revealed later. But hey, you can’t say this was predicted! Also, if I had to guess, the moment Rose was taken over was when he took off his sunglasses. It just makes sense, really.

Whyyyy is the text turning orange. Dirk, are you taking over the narration?

Yup, he did, and he’s addressing the reader. He sounds pretty bitter there are readers, and brags about he can make the reader’s perspective change and turn into a character’s perspective. No complaints from me for you doing that, really, be my guest.

But I haven’t revealed myself to you just to boast about the abilities arising from the gradual obliteration of the constraints on my consciousness. I’ve only taken a moment to answer a few questions. Not ones I heard you ask—because again, you are nonspecific and therefore do not matter—but ones I imagined you asking. And by imagining these questions, they became less fake, and as such, demanded similarly non-fake answers. No, in truth, the time has come to make my presence known in order to start bringing my plans to fruition. It’s time to get down to fucking business.

Eh. Sounds to me like Dirk wants to ramble and wants an excuse to do so, even if he has to make that excuse himself. Golly, pal, you have free control of the narrative. Ramble all you want, go ahead.

To continue the narrative, John has to wake up and does so. I suppose he being sleepy and exhausted after the fight was just he being sleepy and exhausted instead of being borderline dead because of blood loss. Dirk forces the narrative to make John apologize to no one for everything that happened in the battle, and it’s all so heavy-handed even John notices something’s going on with his head. Dirk, you’re not doing a very good job at being subtle.

Suddenly you remember: Lord English’s tooth is still embedded in your chest. You panic, wrap your hands around the base, and give it a little tug. It’s excruciating. The tooth makes an awful grating sound as it grinds along one of your ribs. You gasp and lose your grip, biting the inside of your mouth so hard that you taste blood.

Can’t blame you for trying, but I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Without someone to administer proper medical care, you’ll bleed to death pretty much instantly.

Yeah, exactly! Not that there’s anyone to administer proper medical care in the middle of literal nowhere, so he’ll have to transport himself somewhere else before he touches that tooth any further. Where’s John, anyway? Is he still lying around underneath the black hole? Did he zap himself somewhere else?

On the other hand, the tooth is poisoned. So you’re pretty much fucked either way, and that’s really all there is to say on the matter.

Oh. That’s a thing now? Well then, guess you’re screwed, John. Thanks for everything, have a nice death. I suppose it would count as a heroic death because he received that fatal wound fighting someone who was obliterating reality, so being revived isn’t an option, I suppose.

John wanders around for a very long time, depressed and feeling pretty awful, until he sees Dad Egbert’s wallet. It’s a coincidence to find it anywhere in the infinite expanse of reality! John opens the wallet, aaaaand...end page! Quick, make a distraction and go check some other place. It’s the usual Homestuck style, so that’s what happens.

Jade’s explaining Dave and Karkaroni’s political ambitions to Roxy and Calliope, once again using the terms ‘neoliberal austerity measures’. I’m still unsure what that’s supposed to mean, but whatever it is makes Roxy groan, no doubt because she has heard about said measures too much already. They’re bad, and Karkaroni’s underdog populism is the counter to those, she argues. Give him a chance! Unfortunately for Elect-a-Troll 20xx, it doesn’t seem like Calliope and Roxy are very interested in getting involved in this at all.

ROXY: i just dont rly

ROXY: care about politics that much i guess

I suppose this means she’s not going to support Jane either. Hey, better for her to not be interested than for her to be on the opposite side. This is a victory of some sort.

She’s reticent to supporting anyone not only because she’s not interested in politics, but also because it’s a fight between her friends and she sure isn’t eager to going against a friend. She also knows this is something Jane has been planning for a long time, so she’s not into ruining Jane’s plans – even though she won’t really go out and say she supports Jane. I really disagree Jane is fragile, though. She’s anything but fragile.

In the spirit of full disclosure, Roxy’s the only one left I haven’t been able to crack. Her mind remains a total enigma to me, just like it always has. If I had to guess, it’s her Void powers that make her invisible, even to increasingly omniscient parties such as myself. For all intents and purposes, it’s like her thoughts don’t exist. She’s the same person, as far as I can tell. She still wears her heart on her sleeve. But the bottom line remains: Roxy Lalonde is still utterly fucking inscrutable.

Which is a very good thing for her. I wonder if this means Dirk would be unable to do anything with the narration involving Roxy, if she’s invisible for even the increasingly omniscient parties. In that case, she’s the luckiest person in this entire canon. Good thing, too, given how Dirk is a fervent supporter of Jane, so he can’t manipulate her into doing anything.

Roxy’s staying out, but what about Calliope? She doesn’t want any of this either, because it’d be stressful as all hell and that’s a very valid reason to not want to get involved in politics, especially if it’s between competing friends. At least Jade understands well enough and doesn’t insist.

Apparently Roxy asking Jade to call both Calliope and her by ‘them’ throws Dirk off to the point he has to hastily say aloud he doesn’t care and that he’s very okay with this, you guys, it’s totally okay. I don’t know, when this kind of thing is written or said like he did I can only think that person is indeed not okay with it. Dirk really should stop his rambling for once before he shoves his feet deeper into his mouth.

For a person that’s starting to be omniscient and spent an entire page mocking the reader and being vainglorious he sure is pretty concerned with keeping up the appearances.

ROXY: i mean what am i gonna do

ROXY: get married and pop out 100 bbs?

I mean, with ectobiology that’s far easier and simpler than you make it sound. You don’t even have to get married for that.

I choose to believe Dirk has gotten so flustered by the conversation about Roxy and Calliope being non-binary he chose to make Jade be unconscious. He had to stop the conversation somehow, so he made her do astral plane stuff. Smooth, Dirk, smooth as a brick.

I may as well stop here for the time being.

Next update: next time

[chiibinomonodamon]

My Top 10 Shoujo/Josei Ships

Let’s address the elephant in the room. Yes, they are problematic which is why they rank last. No doubt. But like, they’re ten and children make mistakes. Especially children who are as unfortunate as Natsume. Natsume himself is probably the most offensive one in this list. But I just...really have a soft spot for brooding bad boys who secretly want to be saved by the cheerful nice girl and that’s not going to go away ANY time soon. I grew really fond of these two as the series went on. I just did.

Man, these two used to be a lot higher when I was younger (like the same age as them lol) KKJ was the first true cosplay I ever did! So...um, not so much in the anime (although he’s not totally innocent but he is better). Chiaki has...issues. Lol. To say he’s insecure...is probably an understatement. But when you look at his upbringing, it’s really no surprise. Maron is the only person he truly seems to care about so he’s going to cling and be needy. But she knows how to handle him. She’s always in control (not in a bad way) but in a way that’s good for both of them. I love how mature she is. He will learn from her....if he hasn’t already. Okay, they’re married with a baby so I would think adult!Chiaki has gotten over what made the teenage ship problematic. Besides, they totally have God’s approval; what more do you need? XD

  *laughs* Who here watched this for the episodic Phantom Thief plots?

*crickets chirp*

OF COURSE YOU F*CKING DIDN’T.

Ya all watched it hoping for these two....RIDICULOUS TSUNDERE...GOOBERS TO TURN AROUND ONE DAY AND CONFESS HOW MUCH THEY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED TO EACH OTHER...

MeimixAsuka is the absolute classic “love-hate/ slap slap kiss” ship DONE RIGHT. Which is great because so many are done very very wrong (and I can think of quite a few in, ironically non-Japanese media...aimed at children...that can honest to God, be interpreted as downright abusive. *coughiCarlycough*

But not these two. They are so f*cking innocent. Delightfully innocent. Like, their most offensive action is to call each other “idiot”. But God forbid anybody ELSE do that...oh no, if you dare bad-mouth one in front of the other, he/she gets so mad. And that’s like the cutest shit ever.

OH HEY. IT’S THE ONE BL SHIP I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT!! Um...well, these two are great. I thought they were great in college when I went through my fujoshi stage (ugh) BUT I STILL think they’re great NOW. This is the anime version of The Odd Couple. With more gay. xD These two are sweet as chocolate. Their interaction is just precious. What’s more important? THEY’RE ACTUALLY GOOD FOR EACH OTHER. No rape. No forcing feels on each other, great chemistry, comforting comforters; all the reasons you’d ship a regular boyxgirl pairing. This one just happens to be two boys. AND I STILL DON’T KNOW IF THIS EVER TURNED CANON AFJLFJLFJDLJF

This is one of those very few Childhood Friend Ships I’m all for. It’s kind of crazy that they were able to rank this high when I haven’t even finished their story yet. BUT I LOVE THEM. I was going to pick a ship and say “Imagine _____, except they’re little kids.” But actually, I’m having a hard time comparing them to another ship I can think of. So...they’re KINDA ‘Slap Slap Kiss’-ish but Seiya does not hide his feelings. AT ALL. He’s pretty out-spoken about it. And all he wants to do is sweep her off her feet...but it’s basically the other way around xD As for Ririka...going by Shoujo Logic, her crush on (wow he’s so boring I can’t even remember his stupid name LOL) is superficial and she subconsciously has deeper feelings for Seiya that she’s unaware of...but damn, she sure gets fired up when he’s hurt in front of her! So that gives me hope.

This is just a given. It’s HIGHLY unlikely you would find another “Best Shoujo Pairing” list WITHOUT them. So he’s already there but HURRY UP AND REALIZE YOU LOVE HIM, AHIRU. Lol dammit. The only hint we get from her is “Fakir always makes me stronger” and that SINGLE LINE is deeper than ANY thought she ever had about Mytho. Hell, I’m pretty sure Ikuko herself ships them hard. Their entire relationship is so beautifully crafted...just like the rest of the series except maybe for Ahiru’s crush on Mytho which just had me going “LOLWHY” the entire time.

“SLAP SLAP KISS” LITERALLY. All they do is fight...and then kiss. xD They’re always saving each other, supporting each other, underneath all those insults, then they get married and have two cute kids. Some people think Kazune’s too hard on her...but it’s “tough love”. He has to be because that’s what motivates her. Every single thing Kazune does in the series is strictly for her sake. Their main problem is miscommunication...but I think that goes away quickly so who cares?

Yes, yes, I know. We have two major problems here: The first is initial sexual harassment. Obviously.

But here’s the second problem:

IT’S  JUST TOO DAMN FCKING HOT.

Tooyama Ema knew how to turn up the sexual tension to ELEVEN with these two. Good lord, did she ever. This is by far the sexiest manga I’ve ever read!! Whoever coined the phrase “DOKI-DOKI MOTHERFUCKER” surely had to be reading about Yukina making Shigure do things and Shigure making Yukina do things. While the ship (born from blackmail) should strictly fall into ‘Guilty Pleasure Smut’ category, it only teeters on the edge. For me, at least. Why? Because the character development is actually really damn good. Shigure goes from Cold, Uncaring Magnificent Bastard to Excellent Tsundere Boyfriend Material quite steadily and beautifully. He’s also the only character in the series who can handle Yukina’s personality flaws. Basically, “he’s good for her” while the others are...um, terrible. xD

HEY. IT’S “ANIME TWILIGHT EXCEPT IT DOESN’T SUCK” SHIP.

It’s an ancient story. ‘Vampires make sexy boyfriends’. I believe this has been going on for a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally long time. Like.....since the 30s, maybe? When did Anne Rice start writing? IDK ANYWAY IT’S A THING. Cutesy human girl wants vampire. The vampire is broody, dark, emo. “I’m dangerous. Stay away from me. You’ll only get hurt”. But they still turn into an off-again, on-again thing because he can’t make up his f*cking mind on whether to protect her at his side or “protect by neglect”. We’ve all heard it before.

EXCEPT THAT IS NOT THIS STORY.

No, it’s cutest f*cking damn vampire romance I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. And yeah, I did watch Karin and Tsukuyomi Moon Phase but I’m partial to vampire stories for women so fck that. lol. So...where to start. First of all, Riho loved him way before she even knew what he was. When she finds out, she still loves him. And he does do the “You’re better off not being with me because danger”. But he doesn’t say this to be edgy or to manipulate her; he says it because what he does is actually dangerous enough for her to get killed and he doesn’t want that. But she doesn’t give a damn. And he treats her like a princess. And she finds out how lonely he is and vows to always stay at his side and he respects her f*cking decisions and they go on cute dates and always comfort each other and just afjalfjalfjaijfIWEJFILOVETHISSHIPSOMUCH.

Before I get to #1, here’s some honorable mentions:

SakuraxSyaoran from CCS

YonaxHak from Akatsuki no Yona

KurosakixTeru from Dengeki Daisy

KirarixHiroto from Kirarin Revolution

DaichixNajika from Kitchen Princess

TamakixHaruhi from Ouran High School Host Club

ZeroxYuuki from Vampire Knight

Note: I am not good at top lists. This was insanely f*cking hard to do.

So....drumroll..........

WHO SAW THIS COMING?

WHO FCKING SAW THIS COMING?

IF YOU DIDN’T,

YOU DON’T KNOW ME.

GET OFF MY BLOG.

These two pairings are....like...they affect me in ways I just cannot fathom. Like...I literally do not understand how they’ve cast these obsessive spells on me...but they have. Fanart records do not lie. And mine...for both of them is ridiculous.

So why?

The best answer I can come up with is...

“Most emotionally deep”. They inspire me. They make me squeal with joy and break down sobbing. They give me warm fuzzy feelings while at the same time, tearing my heart to shreds. I just can’t get enough of either one. It’s almost like they’ve touched my soul somehow. I just don’t know. I don’t think there’s a ship that expresses the feeling of ‘soulmates’ stronger than these two ships. I feel like Takuto and Mitsuki and Issac and Rachel were born so they could meet each other. They’re both oddly similar...and yet different as night and day seewhatIdidtharwiththepics. I think “sacrifice” and “salvation” is what I respond most to when I think about ever-lasting true love. And everything about these four characters’ development is centered around these two things.

[amandebw]

Prompts

Stories Ideas

Akafuri - God akashi x priest furihata - Child akashi x babysitter furihata and when Akashi is older he meets Kouki again and decides that he'll be his. - Child furihata x fox demon Akashi Acelu - reincarnation au - they are soulmates and ace is a dragon - demons - gangs Kagehina - Hinata dresses up as Santa to lift Kageyama spirit and to show him what Christmas is about. Usuk - Werewolf America x vampire or warlock England - America times travels back to when England was a pirate due to one of Arthur's spells. Cue America being so confused because since when is Arthur this hot and rude? - Big brother America x child England Ereri - Possessive Levi x dense cutie named Eren - Host club snk Nalu - Demon/dragon Natsu x Lucy - Halloween demon Natsu x angel Lucy - Pirate Natsu x princess, mermaid, or peasant Lucy Russia x reincarnated Anastasia Hannigram - Will finds out - Alpha Hannibal x Omega Will - Wendigo Hannibal x Will - AU where Will's first meeting with Hannibal is when he is the Chesapeake Ripper and not Dr. Hannibal Lecter. - Demon Hannibal x Will - A/B/O dynamic where omega Will only loved one man, the Chesapeake Ripper - due to his empathy even though he's never met him- , until he meets Alpha Hannibal. They fall in love and at the end, during Will's heat, he figures out that Hannibal and the Chesapeake Ripper are the same person and finally succumbs to his own dark nature as he tells Hannibal his feelings for all of him and that he knows. - Hannibal as the Cheasapeake Ripper tries to court FBI Empath, Will Graham, by killing people that have offended him as gifts. What a delightful surprise he has when Will answers with his own murder. (Of course Will hasn't told anyone that all the dead corpses appearing are due to the Ripper and him courting and Jack thinks Will could never murder anyone due to the breakdown he fakes when he kills criminals on cases) - mafia Hannibal x Will - Will meets Hannibal for the first time without his encephalitis an it takes him about two second to realize the man in front of him is not only a killer but The Cheasapeake Ripper. Hannibal is charmed. Hartwin - Mafia boss Harry x Eggsy - Dark Harry x Eggsy - Soulmate tattoo AU where Eggsy sees Harry's tattoo when he's in a coma and is too scared to tell him they're Soulmates. When Harry gets shot by Valentine and is believed to be dead, Eggsy tells Merlin after V Day that he and Harry where Soulmates and showing him his tattoo as he cries. Cue Merlin awkwardly telling him that Harry is not dead and was on the computer watching the scene. Eggsy, remembering Harry's disappointment after their fight, runs only for Harry to run after him. - Alpha Harry who is the chief of a nomadic tribe rests at a village which he is allied to and meets Omega Eggsy. As he falls for the Omega he finds out about Eggsy's abusive step-dad and steps in (and by that we all know I mean that he viciously kills him because no one hurts his omega). Eggsy then leaves with Harry and they come back for holidays to see Daisy and Eggsy's mom. Gramander - mummy!Newt and daddy!Percy where Newt's creatures want their mummy to be happy and he seems to really like the nice man who let them stay in his house and they like him and want him to be their daddy too. Spideypool - Peter going to a convention dressed as Spider-Man and participates in a Spider-Man costume contest. Ironically, he looses to Wade who, at the end, goes to Peter to tell him his costume is pretty cool and Peter is like, "Shut up Wade, I can't believe I lost to Deadpool of all people." And Wade realizes that oh shit it's the real Spidey and he's so fuckin cute. Merthur - future au where both Merlin and Arthur are reincarnated with their memories and they meet again... While Arthur is the leader of the Round Table, the most feared mafia in England. Cue everyone with no memories of the past being so confused about why their big bad boss is so nice to this random guy who actually called him a prat. Tomarry - young Harry, after being beaten, gets teleported to the future in the middle of a battle with old Harry and Voldemort. Old Harry and Voldemort call a truce as old Harry heals young Harry as he knows exactly where all his wounds are- you don't forget the day the word Freak was engraved on you. Dumbledore tries to attack young Harry hence the truce since all magical children are precious, the only reason it was remotely acceptable for Voldemort to attack Harry was because of the prophecy. When young Harry wakes up, Voldemort finds out that this abused boy is Potter and when the child recognizes him as Tom it is revealed that Dumbledore obliviated him of his childhood memories and that he is a horcrux. - Tom and Harry love each other even if they won’t admit it and are, technically, enemies. But the thing is that Tom is really possessive of things he considers his so when another Dark Lord wannabe pops up and kidnaps Harry he finds the location and saves Harry using the excuse that Harry is his to kill, justifying his actions. Cue Harry thinking Tom is adorable for trying to excuse himself with a clearly fake lie and, before he 'escapes' Tom, he kisses him. A few months later, Tom takes over Wizarding Britain and claims Harry as his consort. - Hadrian Ciaràn Peverellus (Harry) is the son of the king of gryffindor and unknown to the Slytherin emperor becomes one of his ninjas as part of the squad the gryffindor kingdom gifts him. He goes by Ainon during that time. - Soulmates au where whatever you write on your skin appears on your other half too. Cue young abused Harry writing for help and Tom, who is either a mafia boss or a powerful politician/ceo, comes to the rescue. Then Tom dealing with the small boy who is his soulmate- and shit he doesn't know how to act with kids what is he supposed to do?- and raising Harry. - Makai Ouji Au where Harry/William (reincarnation of King ?/Solomon), Tom/Dantalion, Nagini/Mamon & Amon, Draco/Sitri, Bellatrix/Lamia, Dumbledore/Michael, Sirius/Uriel aka Kevin, Remus/S. Mathers, Luna/Isaac, Cedric/M. Swallow, - VR game, Harry has 2 avatars (one OP hero type, one crossdressing that specializes in the weirdest stuff) and meets Lord Voldemort the leader of a PK guild when he’s in his ‘girl’ avatar. - Time travel where Harry just tells everyone he s from the future and becomes the new loony love good since no one believes him... But Tom isn't quite sure that it s all lies and there's just something about Harry that draws him in. Danny Fenton x Danny Phantom - Danny was supposed to be an omega, but every ghosts are alphas. So, his human and ghost half came to an agreement and he becomes a beta. Cue Fenton and Phantom being separated and gaining their true classification and all they want is to be one again... But not necessarily to be the same person. Peter Pan - Abused Peter Pan who treats Hook like shit because he thinks that the pirate will be like all the adults he's ever known and by the time he realizes that Hook isn't like the others he's suceeded in making the pirate hate him. What happens when Hook finds out why Peter acted like an arrogant brat with him? Batman - Damian gets kidnapped and Bruce saying that he please doesn't kill him and when the kidnapper says he won't Bruce says he was talking to Damian. Random Prompt Ideas - Villains being protective of their hero. Ex: there's this new villain and he hurts the hero (The Flash, Harry Potter) and their villain (Len/Mick, Voldemort) get pissed and hurt the new villain saying that they're the only ones allowed to hurt the hero. - Villain finds out that the hero is a kid and suddenly becomes overprotective. Villain is like, "You're a kid, you should be doing homework. Go hang out with your friends." And just being a mother hen while the hero is like, "I'm a hero. Stop coddling me, I can take care of myself." - Villain is an abused teen whose parents are influential people, all his 'evil' plans were attempts to get rid of them. One day, the hero finds out when he attacks the villain and notices certain bruises and cuts that he most certainly didn't put on him. After all, what kind of hero would carve the word 'trash' into someone?

[mst3kproject]

1003: Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders – Part I

Before I sought it out to do this review, I had never seen Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders in any format but the MST3K episode, and even that I'd only seen once.  At some point in the planning stages of this blog I realized I was going to have to review it, and it actually gave me pause.  I seriously considered scuppering the whole project because I didn't want to watch this movie a second time.  In fact, I still haven't watched it again.  I'm writing this intro paragraph as a way of putting off watching the movie for a few minutes longer.

Why is a little hard to explain.  I don't hate this movie, but I sure as hell don't like it.  Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders isn't offensively bad like Attack of the The Eye Creatures, or even just plain offensive like Project Moon Base.  It is, however, intensely uncomfortable in its combination of cheery childlike imagery with what the Brains used to call 'good old-fashioned nightmare fuel', and something about it utterly repels me so deep in my gut it feels like appendicitis.  I use random.org to decide which movie I'm gonna watch next, and this one's number just came up... so after putting it off for a couple of weeks (thank heaven I have a buffer), I've decided the thing to do is just put on my Big Kid Pants and get it the hell over with so I never, ever have to watch it again.

Merlin the magician has used his powers to time-travel to modern California so that he can teach people to believe in magic again.  Among the first visitors to his Shop of Mystical Wonders are Madeline, a woman who can't have children, and her husband Jonathan, who announces his intention to give Merlin a bad review on Yelp or something.  At the urging of his own wife Zurella, Merlin gives Jonathan a book of magic to try to change his mind, and Jonathan tries it out that night in his basement.  Sure enough, the spells work, but after summoning Satan and breathing fire on his cat, Jonathan has expended so much of his life force that he has aged about forty years!  He tries to reverse the process but turns himself into a really ugly baby, granting Madeline's wish for a child to raise.

Now, this is all presented as if it's supposed to be very whimsical.  The interior of Merlin's shop looks like a cross between Galadriel's Glade in Lothlorien and the inside of a Rainforest Cafe.  Merlin himself is a Value Village Dumbledore and Zurella wears a brightly-coloured Renaissance-inspired outfit and gives out wishing stones.  This really ought to be a cheerful family film with a musical number sung by gnomes or something.  Instead, almost everything we see is straight out of a nightmare.  In fact, there is so much nightmare fuel in this movie that I quickly realized it wasn't all going to fit in a single review of my normal length.  That's why I've split both my summary and my analysis in two: if you want to hear about demonic cymbal monkeys, you're going to have to wait a bit.  For this session, let's stick to Jonathan's mercifully brief foray into wizardry.

Jonathan himself comes across as a person who should definitely not be given magical powers.  He mocks everything he sees in grating narration and laughs at the idea of driving small businesses into bankruptcy.  I think we all have a co-worker like him: one of those people who think everything they have to say is so very interesting, and cannot seem to take the hint that we want them to shut up and go away.  That person we would punch in the face if it weren't for the fact that everybody else would have to listen to him talking about it later.  He's a nightmare in himself, and his attitude, demanding that Merlin placate him or suffer the consequences, tells us that the power he wields through his newspaper column is already more than he can handle.

Sure enough, when Jonathan begins playing with Merlin's spellbook he doesn't even try to resist the corruption that this new form of power offers him.  He breathes fire, tortures his cat, and when a demon appears in his mirror it never seems to occur to him that Satan probably doesn't give very good advice.  By the time he finds the youth potion, he's gone all maniacal-eyed as he literally drinks his wife's blood.  The audience can only imagine that if he'd managed to master the powers of the book he would have become a modern-day Dark Lord and we'd all be forced to worship at his feet, as Mike and Crow kneel at Tom Servo's hoverskirt in the opening sketch.

Then there's the ending.  The idea of a man turning into a baby so that his child-less wife can raise him is a deeply uncomfortable one. Part of this is because the story never bothers to ask whether baby-Jonathan retains adult-Jonathan's mind.  Is he a blank slate for Madeline to mold into a less-offensive adult?  Or is he fully aware that he once had sex with the woman who is now changing his diaper?  What about Madeline herself?  She must know who the baby crawing out of her husband's clothing is.  Will she be able to be a good mother to him, or will her parenting always be coloured by remembering how Jonathan used to treat her?  And that's not even going into how twenty seconds of film here contains more Oedipal subtext than the entirety of Quest for the Mighty Sword. Just thinking about it makes me want a shower.

Also, that really is an ugly baby, and this is coming from somebody who's normally a big fan of babies.  Objectively I know that babies are nothing but immobile little loaf-shaped people with flailing limbs and no bowel control, and I don't want to have to change diapers or wipe snotty noses or listen to crying in the middle of the night – but when I see a baby, something in my hindbrain takes over and says adorable, must cuddle.  Big babies, small babies, fat babies, scrawny babies, bald babies, babies with hair... I love babies!  Except this one.  I find myself wondering if they did some makeup or something to try to make the kid look more like Jonathan... if they did, it didn't work.  If they didn't... then ew. That is one ugly baby.

Was this story meant to be nightmarish and uncomfortable?  The title Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders certainly doesn't sound like it belongs to a horror story.  The shop itself is whimsical enough, and there's sort of a happy ending in which I guess Madeline got what she wanted and Jonathan learned his lesson... kinda.  Some of the magical effects Jonathan produces, like the repelling spell, the diamonds, and the levitation, are treated as jokes.  But I think even if the TV show that this is so obviously a pilot for was meant to be relatively light-hearted, at least this episode was supposed to be a horror story.  The reason why has a lot to do with what Jonathan tries to do to his cat.

The narrator explains to us that the potion force-fed to the cat will turn it into a familiar – a helper animal so utterly loyal as to be willing to die for its master.  The audience will immediately notice that this description is diametrically opposed to the very nature of cats as we popularly percieve them.  Cats are thought of as aloof and self-serving creatures, with no interest in coming when they're called, never mind in doing what they're told. (People who own cats know, of course, that cats are actually clingy dumbasses who only like to pretend they think they're better than you – and contrary to popular belief, they're quite capable of learning to obey commands and even do tricks.  It's just that training isn't thought of as essential to the human-pet relationship like it is with dogs, and so most people don't bother.)

So here's Jonathan, trying to turn his cat into the opposite of what cats are 'supposed' to be, completely nullifying the animal's own will and personality.  That's a horrifying concept.  There also seems to be an element of spite in it, as Jonathan mockingly tells the cat, “you're about to learn the true meaning of obedience!” When Jonathan doesn't like a shop, he destroys its reputation.  When he doesn't like an animal, he destroys its mind.  If he'd managed to master the spells and make himself ruler of the universe or whatever, what does all this suggest he would have done to people? Then, when he is unable to enslave the cat (I think we’re meant to believe it attacks him because he got the potion wrong... but trying to rip its owner’s face off is the perfectly normal reaction of a cat having anything forced down its throat), he literally kills it with fire.  That's the kind of thing Nero did to the Christians!  So yeah, this much at least is supposed to give us nightmares.

At the end of this part of the story, I suppose Merlin has at least succeeded in getting Jonathan and Madeline to believe in magic, which he did say was his goal.  Maybe Jonathan will grow up again to understand that magic is not a power to mock or take lightly – and neither, I suppose, are shop reviews.  Maybe Madeline will be able to find hope knowing that miracles can happen as long as you don't get picky about how they happen.  Maybe magic is something we're supposed to believe in the way we believe in... oh, say, safe driving.  Those in command of something that could cause death or property damage need to learn to wield it with respect for it and for everybody around them.  That actually seems like a fairly plausible lesson for this part of the movie.

But then there's the 'evil monkey' sequence, which is actually a whole different movie.  See you next week. Fuck, I'm gonna have to watch this stupid movie again after all!

[lily-mj-fae]

I’m prefacing this by saying i used to hate Nesta and Elain. Just, the first two times I read the series, I hated their guts. Especially Nesta. I kind of wanted her to die. She reminded me too much of my ex bitch of a friend (and still does....actually now that I think about more than I might have realized. Like the hostility to them actually kind of getting along and bonding to being right back at hostility is too spot on). But last year’s reread had me feeling a little warmer towards both (i came out especially drawn to Elain, and at the very least not hating Nesta to a point where I am actually interested in acosf and what we will see and learn about her). Overall, I think Nesta is like the Severus Snape of this fandom. She’s very polarizing, people either love her or hate. And people will get defensive on both sides. They either think she’s absolutely irredeemable scum, or think that she’s really a good person who also happens to be an asshole. There’s very little in between.

And this response is going to be in two parts; Discussing why I think Nesta has at the very least at least made up for some of her actions in acotar, and the second part being why I understand that people still hate her (in hopes that perhaps those that still get mad at people disliking her can be reminded why there are still people who dislike her).

not just do the bare minimum to save everyone

Just to start. I hate this. I know it’s harsh, but I really do. I really hate seeing people say that about Nesta or Elain. Because personally, I think it stops being the bare minimum the second you start putting your life on the line. 

Like, if they’d done nothing more than host the queens (because that wasn’t a direct life on the line and more of a recognizing bad things could happen...but also was more Elain’s idea to do as Feyre asked), and maybe only spoke at the high lord’s meeting, then yeah, I’d say that was bare minimum. But that’s not all that happened. Especially with Nesta.

Nesta trained with Amren. Nesta partook in all the discussions. Nesta trained to fight. She went to the court of nightmares. She tried to learn how to patch the wall, something that was created centuries before her own existence and would have taken an immense amount of power (and experience) to be able to do. Then she went into battle. She drew attention to herself in the middle of it. She saved Cassian’s life MULTIPLE times in that battle. She threw herself down to protect him. This is not the bare minimum.

I also think this means she does make up for not doing more to support her family. To, as Feyre once pointed out, her being a burden because she didn’t do her part. Nesta more than made up for that. And yes, unlike a lot of fandom, I think that Nesta and Elain needed to make up for that. While they were not the adults of the family, their level of poverty required that everyone pull their weight. Not just Feyre. And not just their father like fandom likes to say. Elain and Nesta needed to be doing something too (And at least on Elain’s front there was a very easy and obvious choice for her to help support the family and the fact that it wasn’t done feels lazy). 

Nesta went from being so stuck on who she thought should be responsible for things, to taking on responsibility herself. and that alone is growth and certainly makes up for part of her “sins” against Feyre. 

Nesta was… well she was an ungrateful, irresponsible, intolerable raging bitch. AND FOR NO SECRET DEEP HIDDEN REASON. Nesta (and Elain, yes, I hate her too) let her baby sister go into the woods, risk her life daily, to keep the whole family from starving, and didn’t even have the decency to treat her like an actually human being even after all she did.

This part (aside from Elain because elain wasn’t necessarily cruel or ungrateful, just.....inactive which is it’s own flaw and bad behavior) is the part I agree with and I think a lot of Nesta stans forget or ignore. It’s written off as “typical siblings behavior” and i’m here to say, no it’s not. Sibling relationships first of all (at least healthy) will have some positive notes to it. And it certainly doesn’t seem like something that’s happening between Nesta and Feyre. And I know we know that Nesta wanted their father to be the one taking care of them, and she resented Feyre because she thought she was feeding their father’s “laziness”. But that’s not really acceptable. That’s not an acceptable reason to mistreat Feyre, especially after she’s spent all day in the middle of winter hunting, and then skinning an animal. To be so insulted after all that, it’s truly unacceptable, and why a lot of people call Nesta an abuser. She verbally abuses Feyre and financially abuses her whole family (this is with her own admission to trying to spend every penny to push Feyre to failure to see if their father would do anything). It’s not okay. 

And then she’s willing to accept Feyre’s help and support financially once again, but once again goes back to not having a grateful bone in her body about it. yes, it’s Feyre’s choice to do it. But it’s also Nesta’s choice at this point to accept it. She’s an adult. It’s things like that, that really rub people the wrong way about Nesta. And she kind of expects people to bend to her will and whims, but doesn’t bend herself. It’s not really cool. Like how she comments that Elain could always go to the seedy places she spends her time. Sure, Elain could. But she knows Elain won’t. Especially after everything that’s happened. Elain isn’t going somewhere she feels unsafe. (And I’m not say I think Elain is right in that. Only that it makes perfect sense as to why she won’t). But then decides that she doesn’t want to do things to meet Elain even in the middle. She’s fine just saying “eh we have our own lives. I’m not interested in yours.” 

But as readers, we know she’s struggling. Big time. And some of the characters are not as aware of HOW MUCH she is struggling. But her actions still hurt. And some people have been on the receiving end of actions similar to Nesta’s that seeing that behavior is just unforgiveable.

And on the “if she was a guy you’d love her front” I don’t know about other people, but I’ve thought about it a lot. If Nesta were a man, I would probably kill her in a fanfiction myself if she didn’t die by the end of all the books. Because frankly, an older brother, letting their baby sister be the one to take care of the family just given the world and dynamics of it, would be awful. And it would make a lot of her other behavior just even worse. Not wanting to protector help the baby sibling at all after all that, ehh. Yeah. Not male Nesta would be awful.

Anyway. I don’t know if this helped you at all. But I hope to some degree it did. Because I still understand why people hate Nesta, even if I myself don’t anymore. 

So with ACOSF almost out there’s something I’ve been needing to get off my chest.

I really dislike Nesta.

No, really, I can’t stand her.

I don’t want to say I hate her because hate is such a strong word; but- okay fine I hate her. I’ve been trying for the past months to reconcile myself with her and get myself to like her because I really am so excited for the new book, but I CAN’T. And it’s been so frustrating how I can’t even think of her without wanting to jump into the book and punch her in the face; especially when I keep seeing so many people defend her and blame the IC for how they treat her. And I have to say I’m usually someone who likes hearing different opinions that oppose mine because they make me question myself and make sure my opinions are well founded. But as much as I’ve been trying, I can not get people who actually like Nesta.

Let me clarify that this is coming from someone who has a loooong history of falling in love with bad, fucked up, morally grey characters. I mean, Damon Salvatore, the Darkling, Zoya, Legend, Kaz Brekker, Maven Calore, Aaron Warner, Nicasia... you name it, if they’re toxic assholes who are too bad for their own good, I’ve probably fallen for them. So why can’t I even tolerate Nesta?

Simple, it’s not even about anythign she actually did when the story started. I mean, did I hate everything she did in ACOMAF and ACOWAR? Absoluely. I hated how she seemed to not understand what feyre went through, and how feyre was ready to do anything for her and Elain and that what happened to them was not her fault. BUT.. I can look beyond all that and how she acted because, well, it IS understandable. She wasn’t very willing to help feyre & co in ACOMAF because she was trying to protect herself and Elain. She was a bitch in ACOWAR and ACOFAS because she was probably having some major PTSD from everything that went down and was lashing out. I can understand that, I can even LIKE that about her.

Which is why I realized that my intense dislike for Nesta goes back to before all the action even started. It all actually happened in the very first chapters of ACOTAR. Nesta was... well she was an ungrateful, irresponsible, intolerable raging bitch. AND FOR NO SECRET DEEP HIDDEN REASON. Nesta (and Elain, yes, I hate her too) let her baby sister go into the woods, risk her life daily, to keep the whole family from starving, and didn’t even have the decency to treat her like an actually human being even after all she did. Defend Nesta and hate on Feyre all you want, but feyre did nothing to deserve years of mistreatment, isolation, and cruel jabs from her “sister”. And you can’t justify it as a result of her mother’s death and the loss of their fortune because, a) that’s a bullshit reason, and b) she still coddled Elain so clearly she was still able to show love, just apparently not to Feyre.

So Nesta’s actions in the rest of the series might be understandable and redeemable, but the fact that they only add up to years of abuse that feyre had to endure for NO REASON is the reason why it will probably take one hell of a redemption arc for me to be able to stomach Nesta. She might not need to redeem herself for her actions during or after the war, but if she had an inkling of decency in her she would’ve used the war as a chance to support her sister and mend their relationship, not just do the bare minimum to save everyone. She owns the IC nothing, because, yes, she did do the right thing by risking her life and saving the world, but she does own Feyre one hell of an apology, but she’s too proud to even say one nice thing to her.

So, there you have it. My essay on why I hate Nesta’s guts and nothing but a hell of a lot of her groveling to Feyre (which is probably never happening considering she’s, well, Nesta) will ever fix that, much less make me even consider shipping her with my favorite bat boy Cassian.

[bewarethewolfarmy]

(Little!Kid Tsuki anyone?~

Too say Koschei was excited would be an understatement; it was after his first trip to Earth, a big deal for a child of Gallifrey. He’d been to other places of course;  it was a tradition of sorts for his family to go on trips every few months for a variety of reasons. His father after all had no trouble getting permission being part of the Council and all. But this was Earth; he wasn’t yet old enough to be initiated as a potential Time Lord after all and thus not yet in the Academy that all young Time Lords must attend, but he overheard the stories from the older children and the adults about the beautiful blue planet inhabited by beings so like them. Humans he believed he had heard they were called, humans with their shorter lives and one heart; to think he’d soon see one, many, for himself; he couldn’t even sleep from how excited he was. All night he ran around, telling his nanny every little thing he knew about Earth over and over, reading all his books on the subject repeatedly in preparation until morning came and his mother and father found him fast asleep, curled up on the ground wearing his favorite robes and clenching a book in one hand and his toy sonic screwdriver in the other. He came to a while later, awoken by the all-too-familiar sound of machinery whirring, soft voices murmuring, and footsteps going back and forth; he was lying on the couch in the console room, still holding the screwdriver, and could see his parents hard at work at the consoles, flying the Tardis, making sure they arrived where and when they wanted to. And for a second they seemed to stop, side by side, and his father touched his mother’s hand and both smiled but Koschei didn’t care; he closed his eyes again, resolving to sleep more. He didn’t understand why the two were doing that but he figured it was a grown-up thing and he didn’t need to know either. When next he woke up it was because his mother was shaking him slightly, gentling calling out his name. He whined a bit and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand as he got up; his mother smiled and stroked his hair lovingly, “Good boy, now come on, we’ve landed.” Hearing that he immediately awoke completely and she chuckled, watching as her young son jumped up and grabbed her hands in his and pulled her towards the door, “Momma, let’s go see!” Mother and child left through the door, followed soon by his father, the Council member shrugging at his son’s childishness with a small smile. The Tardis, hiding itself as a rather cozy looking loft, had parked itself between two other homes on a nice little street; Koschei looked around but saw no others on the street, yet he could hear voices and laughter with his Time Lord senses. He pouted then noticed the gates on the other side of the street, surrounding what seemed to be a forest; it was from there that the voices seemed to be coming. A smile crossed his face and he let go of his mother, running over to the gates; she frowned and moved to stop him but her husband grabbed her arm, shaking his head, “Let him, he’ll be fine; it’s just an Earth park. Beside’s he’s smart enough to avoid danger.” She looked at him, seeming concerned, but she sighed and nodded, “Of course.” “Now come on, let’s go take a look around ourselves; can’t let Kos have all the fun,” he told her with another smile, offering his arm to her; she smiled as well and took it, the two going off to do some exploring of their own. Koschei stared around him with wide eyes, clinging to his toy screwdriver tightly, standing totally still; upon getting past the gates and further into the “forest” he found himself in a place that to him seemed like some sort of paradise. All around were people like him but obviously not Gallifreyans; they dressed differently, not in robes but simple shirts and pants and the like. There were plenty of adults but far more children, little kids his age or younger or older. He looked around himself, staring as they all laughed and ran around, chasing each other or being chased; one such kid knocked into him and Koschei blinked, turning to look before hearing laughter again. And it was not kind, “Hey look what we have here; a boy in a dress.” Turning back around he was faced with three other boys; all three were notably bigger than him, but as he was considerably smaller than most kids even on Gallifrey this was not much an achievement. One seemed to be the obvious leader, a pudgy sort of child with a squished face, looking none too intelligent but obviously capable of causing serious harm to Koschei; behind him stood two more rather unsavory examples of humanity, one tall and skinny for his age with buck teeth and the other with a mass of curls and a rat-like look in his eyes. The leader sneered at Koschei and stepped closer to him, further making the size difference obvious, “Look at that hair too, so stupid and girly.” “Yeah stupid,” the tall one mimicked, he and the curly one starting to circle Koschei. “Stupid?” The Time Child was bothered; his hair wasn’t stupid, people always used to tell him and his parents how beautiful it was, with its silky dark brown locks, slightly curled and going just past his ears to frame an innocent and sweet sort of face. He frowned lightly, about to complain when he got pushed and fell to the ground with a thud; the boys laughed and their leader spoke again, “Oh look, he even falls over like a girl!” Koschei sniffled and pursed his lips a bit, speaking with a slight shake to his voice, one that he didn’t particularly like, “I-I do not…” “Oi did we ask for your opinion, girly boy?” With that the boy kicked him and Koschei let out a tiny cry; the other two joined in and soon enough he was curled up, hands over his head. Laughter and pain, it surrounded him and frankly frightened him; he was used to bullying, they did it to him at home too because he was smaller, because he was smarter, because he was too nice. It hurt though and he hoped that if he just stayed like that, curled up, they’d stop; they’d get bored and stopped. They always did back home. “Oi! Let him go!” Another voice called out, far different than the three boys; higher pitch meant a female, she sounded demanding but in a particularly bad way. After all she was asking for his release from this pain; the kicks stopped and the leader spoke again, “Why should we?” “Cuz otherwise I’ll have to make you,” said the female voice and the sound of footsteps came closer. The boys started to step back and then ran away; Koschei didn’t move for a few minutes until finally he felt safe. Then he uncurled and slowly got up, shyly taking a look at his apparent savior. As he thought it was a girl; she looked to be no older than six, with black hair that hung over her shoulder in a braid. She wore an actual dress, not a rode like his clothes, blue in color with two little pockets on the front and going to her feet in their sneakers. A toy sword was in one hand which was also bandaged up and she had a bandaid on her left cheek. Innocent and kind looking red eyes stared at him, blinking, watching him; he stared back in return and for a moment they were both quiet then she beamed at him, smiling brightly and went over to him; he took notice of her almost tripping over her own feet and nearly jumped when she offered her free hand to him, “You okay now?” He looked at her hand, not responding or moving for a moment then hesitantly nodded, reaching out to take her hand, “Yeah, fine…” “Good!” she said smiling at him and helped him up; looking over the clothes he wore, the girl didn’t speak for a moment and he worried for a second that she’d tease him too. But then she spoke, her tone completely sincere, “I like your clothes.” “Thanks,” he said, getting to his feet, slipping his toy screwdriver away quickly into his robes, “I like yours too.” She grinned, “Thanks! My daddy picked it out for me. So wanna have some ice cream with me? He gave me some money to buy some but he always gives me too much.” The offer confused him and Koschei blinked, staring at her silently for a few minutes, trying to read her expression; his psychic skills were high level for a child that was not yet initiated, and even for one in the Academy already, but somewhat uncontrolled still so reading minds was something he wasn’t allowed to do yet, mostly out of fear he might accidentally cause damage. He could read her expressions though and what he saw was a genuinely happy and sweet look, honestly asking him if he wanted to come have a treat with her. He found himself smiling some as well and he nodded, “Sure I’d love some.” That seemed to please her and she pulled him along, almost making Koschei fall as they ran through the playground, past a few other kids, some adults; she held onto his hand tightly with one hand and her toy sword with the other the whole time, seeming all-too-happy to be off getting ice cream with a boy she had just met. Part of him was still confused, suspicious of her and her friendly demeanor; after all who was really this nice? Yet her hand felt warm in his and something in her smile reminded him of something familiar; like his best friend, it reminded him of his only friend back home. Finally stopping the two stood in front of an ice cream cart; the man selling them looked at the two children and smiled, seeming to recognize her, “Oh if it isn’t the baby dragon; how are you? And look, you brought along a friend; hello there.” “Hiya Ice Cream Man!” she exclaimed happily and Koschei waved hello; the ice cream man nodded, “So what will you have?” “Hm…” she turned to the Time Child, “What do you want to get?” He blinked then looked at the menu; it was in English and luckily the Tardis could read it but that didn’t really help. He didn’t really recognize any of the flavors at all or honestly know what ice cream even was; it sounded a bit odd to him honestly but she didn’t seem like the type to take him to eat something horrible. Or maybe she was; he didn’t know. Still he didn’t want them to know something was up so he shrugged, trying to act nonchalant about it, “Anything is fine…” She looked at him for a moment then smiled again and turned to the ice cream man again, “Two chocolates please then!” He nodded and started setting up the two cones; Koschei turned his attention from the man to his new friend, if he could call her that, watching her stick her sword in the ground and reach into a pocket on her dress, her tongue stuck between her teeth as she dug around, looking completely seriously for a moment then brightened up again as she pulled out some paper, he believed they were called pounds, and beaming held them out to the ice cream man to take, “Here you go.” The man grinned and took the money, handing her the two cones, “And here you go. Enjoy you two.” The girl took the cones, one in each hand, and then held out one to Koschei, her smile bright and sweet. It confused him all the more but he ignored the issue and took the cone from her, muttering his thanks. She nodded then pulled her toy out of the ground, slipping it under the belt of her dress; he apparently had stared in confusion because she then spoke cheerfully at him, “Daddy says all good swordgirls wear their swords like this. I prefer to wear it like him but daddy says not to until I’m older. Come on, let’s go eat over there under that tree!” Nodding her took her hand once more and followed her over to the tree in question, a beautiful and large weeping willow that looked over the play equipment and all the kids playing from up on a small hill; it’s low hanging branches and leaves obscured view in but upon going in he found that they could still look out. She let go first and sat down, crossing her legs rather unladylike as she smiled and licked at her ice cream cone. He joined her, taking an experimental taste of his own cone; he had heard it was made by cows and was very cold. His first thought was that it was indeed cold, freezing really, and he blinked; his second was much better though. It was sweet, very tasty really and a smile crossed his face before he took another lick, and another, and another. The girl looked at him and giggled a bit, not that Koschei paid her any mind. He got a thought of his own suddenly and smiling beforehand in anticipation he took a bite, immediately starting to hake afterwards; he let go and frowned some, his teeth feeling frozen solid now. She now laughed and spoke, “Silly, you’re not supposed to bite the ice cream like that! You take little nibbles and licks but you’ll get brain freeze or hurt your teeth if you just chomp down like that.” “My brain will freeze?” he questioned, blinking at her. She nodded then continued with her cone; he stared at his, frowning still, hesitant for a moment then returned to trying to enjoy the cold treat. He resisted all urges to bite it again and after a little while he tried a nibble, finding it less shocking that way. The children simply sat with their treats and for a moment Koschei forgot about this being Earth and not Gallifrey, he forgot he wasn’t human and he forgot the girl beside him wasn’t Gallifreyan; it was peaceful and calm, a beautiful day through the leaves of the large tree. His frown faded back to a smile and then felt something wiping his face; he blinked and looked to see it was the girl, holding a napkin in one hand. He stared at her and she stopped, looking back then grinned, “You got ice cream all over your face, silly.” A light blush filled his cheeks and she pulled away from him; he spoke, his voice slightly higher than he meant for, “Th-thanks.” “No prob!” she responded, “So who are you anyway?” The fact it took this long to ask that was a miracle. Koschei opened his mouth to answer then remembered what his father told him: never reveal who or what he really is. Pursing his lips he shook his head, “No one.” “That’s a silly name, No One,” she said to him and yet he could see it on her face; she was just playing with him. “Who are you then?” “Not telling since you won’t tell me your name,” she said stubbornly, pouting playfully. The corner of his mouth quirked up a bit and he found himself laughing some, making her look at him, “What’s so funny?” “You remind me of a friend,” Koschei told her. “Oh? Tell me about him!” she told him excitedly. There couldn’t be any harm in sharing that, “Well he’s my best friend,” only friend really on Gallifrey but no reason to tell her that, “We plan on getting into the Academy back home together then going traveling when we’re older.” “Traveling?” she asked, titling her head. Koschei nodded, beaming suddenly, “Yup! Thete and me, we’re gonna go traveling around and see the universe, just the two of us. No adults to tell us where to go, no one to stop us, just us having adventures and fun, Not even any mean old bullies.” “That sounds like fun!” “It will be,” he said and jumped up, his ice cream falling to the ground in the process though he didn’t notice, starting to mimic a sword fight, “We’re gonna fight monsters and bad guys and save people and see the universe; it’ll be great.” The girl beamed and got up as well, dropping her ice cream as well and drawing her toy sword, pointing it at him, “What if you’re without a weapon though against an enemy with a sword, Mr. Hero?” He grinned at her and pretended to think for a moment, “Well then I think I’d…do this!” He moved quickly and tackled her, causing her to yelp as they both fell over; she struggled but with his superior Time Lord strength, greater than hers even when both were children, he had her completely pinned, taking the sword from her and putting it to her throat, “Give up foul villain!” She puffed out her cheeks and wiggled, “Never!” The girl pushed at him as hard as possible and he let her get up, laughing as she got to her feel, hands on her hips, looking down at him with a pout before it disappeared, replaced by a grin and she put up her hand, “I’m gonna blow up the universe!” “Not if I don’t stop you first!” Koschei laughed and she ran away, with him right behind, still holding her sword in one hand. The two ran through the playground, laughing, chasing and being chased; she tripped a few times but always got back up quickly enough, laughing as if it was nothing, before he could get to her. She climbed up a nearby ladder for one of the playground slides and grinned down at him before yelping as he came after her again; she quickly slid down, laughing and Koschei followed, grinning as the wind blew by him going down. He didn’t often have this much fun; he was picked on, “Thete” was his only real friend, there wasn’t really play equipment like this on Gallifrey,. The boy would usually just chase his friend through the grass, day dreamed, laughed but this was different somehow; an exhausting but exhilarating game with her, running around, pretending at hero and villain. Time went by and they fell back where they started, under the willow leaves; she panted, out of breath, and despite his stronger respiratory system even he had to catch his breath. Still both were grinning, happy as well as tired; the noises of the park started to die down and he suddenly realized how late it was getting. A feeling of sadness came over him, knowing he had to go back; he probably wouldn’t see the girl again who had saved him from the bullies, given him ice cream, played with him. That saddened him some. He sat up and looked at her, seeing her still trying to breathe; Koschei rubbed his head, “I gotta get home now.” She opened her eyes to look at him, blinking then got up, grinning, “Kay! Let’s play again sometime.” Knowing that was probably impossible he stopped for a moment, thought; she was so nice though and had been so fun to play with. He was sure Thete would love to meet her and then he got it; smiling he nodded, “Course. How about I come back once me and Theta are all grown up and bring you along with us on our travels?” She blinked, seeming surprised by the offer then beamed brightly, “Really? Promise! Oh,” her smile dimmed a bit, “But how am I supposed to recognize you if you come back all grown?” She pouted some at him and Koschei thought for a moment; that could be a problem. He’d need to have a way for her to know it’s him; he could easily end up regenerating before the next time which would make it hard. He looked at his rove and thought for a moment about giving her his toy but he liked it too much. Plus his father would get upset. Then he noticed the bracelet on his wrist; grinning he slipped it off and handed it to her, “Here!” She took it despite seeming confused and looked it over; it was a pretty little thing but handmade, with clear blue beads strung along. At the center was a large, flat round stone on which was written Gallifreyan. She looked back up at him, “What’s it say?” “It’s my name in my home language,” he told her, “Next time we meet I’ll ask to see it and I’ll read it for you, okay?” The girl blinked again then smiled and nodded, “Cool! I’ll tell you my name then too.” Koschei smiled back at her then gave her back her sword before turning and running off; he waved good bye and she waved him off until neither could see the other. The Time Child then ran all the way back to his father’s tardis where his parent’s waited. He couldn’t wait; not for telling them about his day, not for telling Theta back home, and not for that day when he would see his new friend once again.

Seventeen years later...

The Master stared at the playground, watching all the kids and finding himself daydreaming a bit; crouching with his feet on the bench, his hood pulled over his head, he tapped on his knee, lost in his own thoughts. Memories of the past, laughter, running; he hadn’t thought about it for a long time, since before the drums had really started to take root in his mind. But sitting there, the memories returned and yet not all; that girl, what did she look like? This was blurred away and he frowned, tapping away louder; louder and louder, faster and faster, starting to bite down hard on his lower lip ad getting annoyed as he attempted to pull at his memory to figure this out and remember. It didn’t really matter to him the details, not really but not remembering, not knowing bothered him. “Master?” A voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked up, glancing around until he finally looked behind him. A woman stood there, her crimson eyes blinking at him from behind her glasses. She carried two ice cream cones in her hands and he found himself reminded of the girl before hearing the girl speak, “Master, is something wrong?” She sounded concerned and he shook his head, smiling in his mad way, “Nope Tsuki, nothing at all.” Tsuki blinked then nodded and held out a cone to him, “Here, I got you chocolate.” The Master took it and she moved to take a seat beside him, taking off her katana from her back and setting it beside her on the bench; as she ate ehrs quietly he stared at it then chomped down, devouring it quickly. The cold didn’t bother him anymore, it was no more than a mild nuisance now. A slightly feral growl left him as he consumed the treat then he heard something, a soft chuckle and he was thrown back into old memories; the Time Lord frowned and looked around before feeling something else familiar. Someone was wiping his mouth; he turned to see it was Tsuki, a soft sort of look in her eyes and she gazed up into his before smiling and pulling away, “Sorry, you just reminded me of someone else there for a moment.” “Oh?” he inquired, tilting his head at her slightly. She nodded, “Yup, someone I met a long time ago, seventeen years ago this October actually; he was….” She rubbed her head, “well I guess you could say he was sort of my first crush.” Jealousy bubbled up inside him and the Master frowned, not pleased to hear someone else had had her heart; he knew of one who hadn’t ended well, “Akira?” At the mention of her old friend she shook her head, “No, no, before him actually. I met the boy here in the park; some kids were picking on him and I helped him. He had this really pretty brown hair and this cool looking robe, they were teasing him about how he was looking and I didn’t like seeing them bullying him so I helped him out, plus I just sort of just liked him right off; he didn’t look like a bad kid after all. I invited him for ice cream and he got messy just like you, then we played until he had to go home.” His frown started to fade little by little as she spoke and instead more and more he felt confused, surprised, and almost hopeful; it sounded so familiar, yet it couldn’t be. That would be too much of a coincidence; still… “Sounds like a weakling to me. Did you ever see him again?” She shook her head, seeming sad, “No, he left and never returned. He gave me something though, and promised he’d return but in the end he never did. Shame really.” “What did he give you?” He sounded far more interested than he meant to and she looked at him in surprise then pulled her messenger bad into her lap; opening it with one hand she pulled out something and handed it to him, “This. It apparently had his name on it but I can’t read it.” A handmade bracelet made of blue beads, with a single large stone with intricate circles and lines on it. His hearts jumped for a moment and he stared at it for all of a second then handed it back, “Koschei.” “Huh?” Tsuki asked, taking it. “The name, it’s Koschei,” the Master told her and looked into her eyes, “His name was Koschei.” Once upon a time it was Koschei, but not now. She looked at the bracelet, running her fingers over the name, quiet for a moment. He sat down properly and stole her ice cream while she was distracted and finished it off too, trying to act like it was nothing, that he didn’t care. When really it was everything; this meant that girl in his memories, the one who’d been so kind to him, so sweet, so friendly, the girl was… Tsuki started to laugh and he raised an eyebrow, wondering if she’d gone insane; not that he of all people would think that bad but he just wanted to know. She seemed okay though, laughing and holding the bracelet; he choose to ask, “Something funny?” “Not really,” she said calming down, “Just happy I guess.” “Why?” he asked. She turned to him and smiled, “Master? How did you know what it says?” “I read it off the stone; I know the language,” he told her frowning a bit. “You barely looked at it though,” she said, “Really, how did you know?” The Master was about to scold her about arguing with him on this but she leaned close and kissed him; startled at first he then growled and deepened it, using one hand to grad her by the back of the head and pull her closer. After a few minutes they parted and Tsuki stared at him, quiet, breathless then whispered, “Koschei. You’re Koschei, the boy I met, aren’t you?” He didn’t respond but she didn’t need one really; she knew and smiled, “I’m probably the most oddly lucky girl ever.” “Oh?” the Master asked, his hand moving down to her back and pulling her body closer; he smirked, “How so?” “My first crush ended up being the one I truly love in the end,” Tsuki said smiling, sitting closer, “I’d say that’s some luck.” He chuckled and shrugged, “It is indeed.” She looked at the bracelet again then held it up for him, “Here you probably want this back, right?” The Master didn’t hesitate; after all why would he want something with his old name on it, a name he abandoned? He grabbed her wrist and slipped it on her, causing her to stare at him in surprise, “Nope, you wear it. If anyone tries to steal you, just show them the bracelet and tell them you belong to Koschei.” Tsuki was silent for a moment then chuckled; she leaned up and kissed his cheek, “Ah but I don’t belong to Koschei; I belong to the Master.” That made the crazed Time Lord grin and he moved quickly, capturing her lips momentarily before pulling away and licking his lips, “Good answer, my dear angel of death, but in this case I don’t think I’d mind sharing with ‘Koschei’. But only a little.” She laughed and leaned close to him, her eyes set on his, “How generous of you.” “What can I say,” he said and pulled away, getting up and turning to her, “I’m a giver. Now come along; we’ve dallied enough here. Let’s return to our plots, shall we my dear?” Offering his hand to her she took it gladly and the two walked off, leaving the park that they had met in as children, off to cause trouble and chaos in the universe, the hero and villain now the Master and his angel.