#and some iterations of Bruce would

[whalehouse1]

Jason: I’m Bruce’s biggest disappointment for killing all those guys.

Cass: No, me. I let innocents die because I wasn’t good enough.

Tim: It’s me, my poor communication skills have caused a lot of pain in this family.

Steph: I’m pretty sure I win this for existing.

Damian: It’s me for not being the type of son he wanted.

Alfred: Actually, it’s none of you. He was only disappointed in one of you once and that was Master Dick for sneaking out while grounded.

Dick: Oh yeah, he cried like a baby while asking me why.

Alfred: Indeed. He swore it off after Dick called him a blubbering baby…a quite indecent word.

Duke, playing co-op on the Bat-Computer: Couldn’t be me I’m a delight.

[roobylavender]

considering what you have spoken about regarding selina do you also get frustrated with like…i cant quite explain it but sometimes especially in more recent years shes been posed or positioned like some sort of damsel that needs a big strong man to save her and like im not saying she should be portrayed with the “hollywood level feminism” for lack of a better term im just think about how old versions of selina would have hated that. like im just thinking of anytime in the reeves movie where bruce grabs her or forces her mouth shut or even when he didnt allow her to kill falcone and im just thinking she should claw the fuck out of him for that. i just miss a version of selina who wouldnt allow anyone to walk all over her personal autonomy like that

oh absolutely! in fact this is specifically why i can't stand loeb's take on her character lol (and as we both know that was a significant point of reference for the reeves film). it's really jarring to transition from her volume one and two canon to the long halloween / dark victory / when in rome. i think a lot of people tend to latch onto these books because tim sale's art is to die for and it's obv hard not to enjoy a good murder mystery. in that aspect they're still books i can enjoy in isolation. but i find it very difficult to enjoy them as a selina fan specifically because in every single one it's like she's looking for solace and security in a man and i'm not sure why. like what was so bad about her original backstory of having a deadbeat dad (whether you ascribe to the volume one or volume two version of him) and why did she need to go looking for her "real" father in carmine falcone. why did she need to seek out temporary boytoy relief in italy. why did she dream about being saved by bruce. none of it really has a reason other than to create a "lack" in her for the sake of it being there, because she'd never needed a man like that before in her post-crisis narrative. as you mentioned it was quite to the contrary and she was fiercely independent and protective of her own peace, esp from men. when she felt empty or without a connection or lifeline to someone real, it was mostly about people like maggie or holly or arizona. her people

what i think it ultimately comes down to are two things: the first thing is the diminishment of her post-crisis origins. after all, it's convenient to ignore how distrustful selina is of people, and of men with power at their leisure to abuse specifically, when her post-crisis origins are no longer relevant to her personal characterization. although selina's status as a sex worker is more prominent now, it was more or less completely swept under the rug for the bulk of volume two. loeb also refused to engage with it in any capacity. it only really resurfaced with the conclusion to volume two because it drew direct parallels to how we initially found her in volume one, and then brubaker expanded on it once again in his take on the character, which was notably juxtaposed against a pre-existing romance with bruce and brings me to the second thing. i've already waxed about this at length so this may very well be recap but i really don't think selina's lack of control over her personal autonomy can be divorced of the modern portrayal of the romance. when selina looking for security and understanding and comfort in bruce is what drives the romance forward there's not much room to maintain her original values and guarded demeanor, if not her outright defensiveness and hostility. a lot of people look at the extensive trauma selina has experienced and argue that she deserves to be in a relationship with someone who allows her to let those walls down. this isn't incorrect in theory. but it does repeatedly ignore who she is. it's kind of like the point i was making about bruce yesterday. exploring the inherently abusive nature of robin or of bruce's right to his children in light of that fact is interesting to do, but the actual execution has rarely managed to take into account who bruce actually is

for however nice it might be for selina to let her walls down romantically and look for solace in bruce—and i say this mostly for the sake of argument, personally i would argue against its necessity—it's realistically not something she's actually going to do. at least not as willfully as she's been portrayed to. realistically she's going to make it extremely hard, which if anything is precisely the appeal. i love it when selina gives bruce a hard time. i love that it's not supposed to be easy or maybe even a possibility for him to win her over bc there's so much about his own ideological stances that's flawed and in opposition to her own. she doesn't have to be any less unrelenting in her principles and worldview for that romance between them to be compelling bc at the end of the day the entire crux of it is that against all odds bruce cares. for however wrong he thinks she might be in a given moment or in her stance against the government, he knows who she is and how hard she's fought and what she's survived and it makes him sympathetic to her because she's real. she's a wonderful character through which to explore the logical limits of bruce's self-righteousness and categorization of crime, as well as a wonderful mirror to hold up to his face as he starts to ask himself whether what he's doing is really the only means of keeping the city safe. and the novelty of it all is that you don't have to sacrifice her character for any of that to be true. writers have simply deluded themselves into believing that they have to and that's why we are where we are today

[starlooove]

“Rich white boy when he’s a thousand other things” what is he that negates the traits listed. Quickly.

[yournewmisstress]

In the Danny is Damian’s brother trope what if instead of Damian not telling the family about Danny wasn’t because of grief or shame or any of the more commonly used reasons for his silence. What if it was because he heard about how his father talked about Jason after his death, focusing and exaggerating the negative. That he was violent, angry, never listened to orders but in some iterations and popular fanon is that Jason was a cheerful and studious Robin.

What if while compiling info and researching the former robins during his tumultuous introduction he saw what kind of robin Jason was, good with kids and victims. Talking about his favorite books while on patrol and similar. Reminding Damian of his most Beloved brother.

Then he finds out about how Bruce talked about Jason after he died. Using him as an example as what not to do, erasing his good traits and just using him as a cautionary tale of what happens when you don’t follow orders. Just like what Ra’s said about Danny.

So he didn’t tell the family, not out of guilt or grief. But because his father stripped away Jason’s positive traits after death, the son he chose, adopted and loved. Who when he failed because he was a child led astray by his mother. What would he do to his brother, who loved the stars and excelled in stealth, who was quite in his kills but had no lust for killing.

Whether or not Bruce would do this to Danny’s memory doesn’t matter. B’s actions are gonna affect how Damian views his father even years after the initial actions. Because Damian will protect his brothers memory from being twisted even by their father.

[shinobicyrus]

I've seen a lot of posts about Batman using his Bruce Wayne alter ego for the good of Gotham: job programs for felons released from prison, orphanages, charities, high wages for his employees, ethical business practices...the legendary post where Bruce Wayne goes to Wal-Mart.

Thus far I've never personally seen anybody really dig into the persona of Bruce Wayne the Billionaire Playboy. A handsome, rich, powerful man who always is seen at fancy galas, art openings, charity dinners, and wild parties with at least one beautiful woman on his arm.

We know Bruce Wayne is the mask, and its Batman who has a...complex love life, depending on the iteration we're talking about. Talia, Catwoman, sometimes Wonder Woman.

Bruce Wayne's dates, on the other hand, are all "normal" people. Maybe they're an aspiring actress, a supermodel, a prima ballerina, the occasional reporter...and every time there's that bit of nervousness at the start.

Sure everyone knows Bruce Wayne. Everyone knows the story with him. Sometimes his wilder parties make the news, but there's never really been anything nasty reported about him. Never...allegations. But he's a billionaire. He's one of the most powerful people in the whole city, nevermind the country. If he did have some skeletons in his closet. Well. Men with power have a way of making those kinds of stories go away, don't they?

As time goes on the Date's fears dissipate pretty quickly. Bruce Wayne is nothing but polite, kind, and at times charmingly awkward in an 'raised by his butler in a mansion' kind of way with his dates. Some of them can tell he's holding back, of course. Maybe the more perceptive Dates notice he's smarter than he lets on - playing the himbo or hamming up the "know-nothing rich boy" act to the cameras or some of his wealthy peers.

He also listens, is the thing. He's always listening to what they're saying, is interested in hearing about their careers, their hobbies, their lives. Really listens, too. Might refer to something a Date said weeks later off-hand. Buy out the whole museum for a private dinner date with a famous painting from an obscure artist they like, or a private performance with another's favorite band.

He has anecdotes and funny stories for days that somehow says very little about his personal life. The Dates know he has kids (it's practically a running gag in the news that Bruce Wayne has adopted yet another orphan) and maybe she might spot one of them at the mansion, but Bruce seems very keen to shelter them from any intense spotlight and scrutiny, and they all seem happy if a bit weird like him.

Eventually, there's drifting. He's a very busy man, with a very busy schedule. On more than on occasion his nice old butler will call and extend apologies that Mr. Wayne will not be able to make it this evening. Sometimes it's virtually impossible to get a hold of him over the phone. After a while they stop trying. None of them feel quite surprised by that. In the end, it just doesn't work. Sure, he's a little distant and doesn't make himself emotionally available...but he's not a bad person.

Especially when the so-called "exes" of Bruce Wayne start networking. Gotham isn't a small city, but the social circles Bruce Wayne travels in aren't as big. They don't quite gossip or complain about him. More like...who else would get it?

(I touched his side once and he winced...like he'd been hurt real bad there. He laughed and said it was tackle polo. How does that even-?)

(Somehow, after two dates, he saw right through me and listened while I told him what that casting director tried to do. He nodded, gave me the contact details of a law firm, and said not to worry about the legal fees.)

(I don't know for sure it was him, but it can't be a coincidence that my building got bought out from under my shitty landlord and we were all able to buy our apartments under market value.)

(He got my brother in the best rehab program in the city after his relapse. It probably saved his life. We'd stopped dating months ago, I still don't know how he found out.)

(He gave me a card with a phone number and told me that if I was ever in trouble to call it. Said one of his cars would come to pick me up, any time, any place, no questions asked. The one time I did have to use it after a bad party, it was Alfred.)

I think any tabloid reporter digging around for salacious stories or dirt about Bruce Wayne's love life would be completely and politely stonewalled when they try asking his former Dates. Even when money is offered. Every single one of them.

[thebibliosphere]

I know it's not the only iteration of the franchise that alludes to the Wayne’s having an unsavory background, but the Batman Telltale games are so fucking funny.

Bruce is straight-up having an existential crisis over his family having connections to the local mob and Alfred just looks at him sideways like, “Bruce, they were billionaires. No one becomes a billionaire honestly.”

And Bruce swallows that comment, runs through all the stages of grief in about ten seconds— inventing some new ones along the way—and you can see his brain making the dial-up noise in the time it takes for the player to pick his response.

And true, you can pick denial, anger, or something else, but in that pause you get a glimpse of the static buzz building behind his eyes.

This man is tired. He just got the shit kicked out of him. He is running on fumes. And you’re telling him everything he’s done, everything he’s achieved as Batman, has potentially been funded by crime???

“I could do it,” the look on his face says, “I could sink into the himbo persona, let it consume me. No one would ever know. I could take a nap. Billionaire playboys take naps...”

[laufire]

#BY THE WAY‚ this very much does apply to Cass. #She does have her own moral core. And that moral core is interrupted and displaced by her enmeshment with Bruce. #(The core of who Bruce is as a person can survive things‚ like: #covering up his dependant's murder‚ corrupting the very system that he claims to seek to reform. #Actively using classism and neglect to further himself. Btw.) (op's tags)

Jason is accused of forcing his ideology on Bruce, trying to ruin poor poor Bruce by forcing him to go against the core of who he is as a person.

Bruce gets to force his ideology on people who are so young and traumatized and otherwise vulnerable that they barely have a core of who they are. So they graft Bruce in as the core of who they are, and thank him for saving them and giving them purpose.

And that, my friends, is why the Batman Family is a cult.

[celaenaeiln]

thinking about some quotes i’ve read and i wanna hear your thoughts on them because i have a lot and i don’t know what to do with them.

“the day Dick Grayson turns evil is the day the universe ends, not because that day will never come but because the boy will make it come”

“Dick Grayson isn’t the universal constant of good. Dick Grayson is the universal constant of competence”

“So, having said all that, it is a few but definitely significant words that fill the contingency plan on Nightwing in case the hero of Bludhaven ever turns to the dark side. Let's hope that never happens.”

YESSSSS

“the day Dick Grayson turns evil is the day the universe ends, not because that day will never come but because the boy will make it come”

This is the truest fact I've ever heard because this is really canon.

Word for word this happened.

In one of the canon timelines Clark laser blasted Bruce under mind control.

And oh how Dick took over. You know what Luthor says?

"After all, as I've heard your father [Dick] so often quoted, 'we make the hardest decisions for those we care about the most.' Well, in his case...that has meant remaking the world."

This man has the power to single-handedly control the fate of the world.

Whatever he wants, he will make it happen.

The entirety of the justice league, all the metas, heroes, and villains too stood no chance against him.

DC vs Vampires

“Dick Grayson isn’t the universal constant of good. Dick Grayson is the universal constant of competence”

I think it's true.

Nightwing is one of the most formidable figures in DC, without fail consistently coming out on top, so if Superman is iterating that Dick's personality and essence of being is the same, then there's really no room for disagreement.

But more truly, I think he is a Nexus.

By Marvel's definition, "Nexus Beings are rare individual entities with the ability to affect probability and thus the future, thereby altering the flow of the Universal Time Stream. These beings, each referred to as a nexus, act as the keystones of the Multiverse and are crucial to its ultimate coherence and stability."

That means that the universe hinges on the actions of Dick Grayson.

Not only does he control the fate of the world but his mere existence determines what will become of it by other people:

I'd like to reiterate that Neux Beings are "the keystones of the Multiverse and are crucial to its ultimate coherence and stability."

You can still be a nexus if you turn dark. For example Lore was a dark version of Wanda Maximoff but she is still considered a nexus. So you're right in saying that Dick Grayson is a multiuniversal constant of competence.

“So, having said all that, it is a few but definitely significant words that fill the contingency plan on Nightwing in case the hero of Bludhaven ever turns to the dark side. Let's hope that never happens.”

In the easiest terms as someone put it, "hope he fucks up" is Bruce's only contingency plan against Nightwing. The man doesn't have a clear plan how to neutralize Nightwing.

His exact words are: "As a result of overanalyzing any situation, this allows Dick Grayson to overconfident and misdirected. This will make himself open to a second attack."

So the plan is basically 'Dick is too smart for his own good so we'll have to go with a lucky surprise attack.' He's literally saying 'yupppp. Let's just hope he messed up because there's nothing we can do on ouR end.' Note that Bruce doesn't even have a back up like 'the second attack didn't work? we're fucked.'

For everyone else he actually has a coherent plan in mind- do this and they will fall. But for Dick? 'I hope he messes up enough for a second attack to actually stick. Otherwise we're shit out of luck. And lives. Fingers crossed he doesn't jump to the bad side.'

Tim also confirmed he would never make a contingency plan for Dick. The only person in the world he wouldn't do one for.

He's just that formidable of a man. Even now he can easily take down the Justice League if he wanted to.

And we know that Dick has one of the strongest wills on the planet.

"I have my enhancements. I have powers. Dick Grayson...what do you have?"

A world where Dick loses his emotions is a world that would not survive.

[frownyalfred]

Re: superhero nepotism. On some levels I don't know if like, the term EXACTLY applies? IRL Dick Grayson was introduced less than a year after Batman's own debut, and while when he came in to the hero scene in-universe is up to iteration/interpretation, He's still very much the "first" sidekick, and has hero/vigilante tenure longer than some of the ACTUAL founding members. & Given he's pretty much been trained to and has led other teams, it's almost like calling it nepotism for someone to hire and train someone for a role and then let them have it? Even then, the lines of succession aren't really direct. For example: Jay Garrick isn't really related to Barry Allen, and while Wally West IS related to Barry, he was also actively "apprenticing" under him as someone with the same powers, and at the time there were only so many who did and any others already had their own names and aren't necessarily looking to "trade up" when they're located elsewhere. Plus, the nature of Magic/metagenes to associate at least somewhat with bloodlines or like racial things like Kryptonians or Amazons makes it sort of inevitable for those with the same powersets to succeed the others - but they haven't always gone on to their predecessor's roles with the League.

I would also point out there's even times in comics history that the Trinity themselves has stepped down as leadership and handed it over to non-founding members (Black Canary, for example, is an *early* member of the team but not a founder, and has led the JL a few times). Though, again, who gets considered a "founding member" depends on the era too.

Very good points. Calling it nepotism/not nepotism is reductionist and removes the complexity of heroes training and taking on mantles. Theres no playbook for how superhero organizations should work — Bruce is literally writing it for them as they go. And I imagine he places in checks and balances for corruption and bias, of course.

[mileskisser]

𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐂 | wk: 397

pairings. vamp!batfam x gn!batsib reader

warnings. these are just general ideas/hcs I had for the batfam, not a fic. death, murder, general batfam content no specific series or iteration.

What if…

• Bruce came from a long lineage of vampires, and the people who murdered his mother and father were vampire hunters.

• After his parent's murders he finds out from Alfred that he's a vampire, and that Alfred was also a vampire.

• Time skip to him adopting Dick

• Instead of Dick becoming orphaned and getting adopted by Bruce, he dies alongside his parents. Only to be brought back by Bruce biting his neck and turning him into a vampire.

• Insert conflict between Dick and Bruce about him only saving Dick and not his parents as well + possible survivors guilt; this leads to him going off to do his own thing after his days as Robin ( + him not wanting to be in Bruce’s shadow )

• Incomes Jason's tragic tale

• I think he’d be one of the few non-vampire Batfam members since he got brought back by the pits

• Alfred, Bruce, Dick, Tim, Damian, Cass, and Duke would all be vampires in this au. Steph, Barbara, Jason, and Reader would be some of the few humans they’d have around.

• Damian is half demon half vampire (insert -Damian- alpha/single/emo/half-demon/vampire/prince)

• Tim would come from a line of vampire hunters, getting turned into a vampire one night by accident and being taken in by Bruce (idk much about his lore & parents so let's just say that he ran away or they disowned him but couldn’t bring themselves to kill him) 

• I think Damian’s introduction would be the same

• Same with Cass but her parents would be vampires.

• I think Bruce would have a rule in place similar to the “No killing” rule, just that they can't drink human blood

• Reader is introduced to the Batfam by accidentally stumbling across it during a rainy night, stereotypically breaking into a “what seems to be abandoned mansion but is actually the home to a bunch of immortal vampires.”

• They couldn’t turn away a weak–half dead human, so they take them in and let them stay “temporarily”

• Obviously their stay was not temporary, over the few days that the storm rained over Gotham, Reader grew close to the members of the batfam.

• They all came to a unanimous agreement to keep them there, even if they had to hide their identities (both vampire and vigilante)

• Possible yan au / or something with obsessive themes

aaaaa sorry for this being short and booty, I wanted to get a post out & write some more but my laptop keeps lagging whenever I do anything. Ill def go back n edits some stuff :((

[cocomuffy]

Batfam Singing Headcanons?

Bruce Wayne definitely killed his voice with his Batman voice and while he used to be able to sing beautifully he can't anymore.

Jason's voice is more grizzly nowadays due to the smoke inhalation damage not really going away.

Nobody's ever heard Tim sing. They don't know if they want to.

Everybody's heard Stephanie sing. They know they don't want to.

Cass is a good hummer but not really a singer.

Dick Grayson loves singing, but only Dad Rock and only in the most obnoxious way he can. (Only thing that carries over from TTG is that man lives for "The Night Begins to Shine")

Alfred can do literally anything change my mind.

Damian finds singing shameful. He would never participate in such a thing.

xtra voice headcanons

Brucie Wayne has the most bipolar inflections you've ever seen. he's like "Hey Lucie-poo! How are the kids?! Are they swell?"

In turn, Batman has completely straight speech (minus volume changes)

When Dick spends too much time around the Titans (Going off of the weird way Star speaks in some iterations because I just love it for no reason), he accidentally starts saying "the" way too much.

(this apparently has never applied to jason, but that's just because nobody ever found the bodies...)

For a while Tim tried to do the "Jealous" by Eyedress voice where he dropped it and huffed and stuff but the second he tried it around Kon or Bart he started laughing and couldn't do it again.

I like to imagine that one of Damian's simple pleasures in life is that he can speak in a different accent or language when he hits his head.

Stephanie loves to mock the Brucie Wayne voice. it's cool.

Alfred has been so connected to Gotham for so long that he has to put on the British accent since he's heard the NJ one for so long. Nobody's ever caught him slipping (but that's just because nobody ever found the bodies..)

[talxns]

I think if Dick was a girl people would be okay with shipping him and Bruce.

Thank you so much for the ask, this is a great discussion topic. Here is the thing.

If Dick had his same exact backstory and Bruce took him in when he was 8-10 but the only difference was that Dick was a girl -- I think most people nowadays would not be "okay" with shipping it. I think people would still say that it is a weird and creepy age gap, that it's predatory, that it's grooming, etc etc. The vast majority of Batman fans currently have this view on Bruce and Barbara's relationship, and felt pretty digusted when the Killing Joke movie came out.

Pre-antishipping culture (before 2015?), I don't think people would have been too up in arms about it. I mean, Bruce and Barbara have canonically had relationships in many different mediums prior to the Killing Joke movie (it was hinted at in Batman Beyond, not to mention the atrocious pregnancy thing in the BtAS comics ((curse you bruce timm)), and even in the 60s show, Bruce and Barbara were going on dates and seeing each other romantically) and I don't think there was much uproar about it those days.

But the difference is that, had Dick been a girl, Brudick would ABSOLUTELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT, have been canon in DC media at many points in time. In like multiple iterations. In comic runs, in TV shows, in movies, in games. This I am absolutely certain. There would be some comic where they would have kids together that are no longer canon in modern times. DC would have absolutely made it a whole thing. They would have played with the ages as they did with Barbara, aging Dick older or Bruce younger to make it work better, would have changed the circumstances of how they met to somehow make a romance work. It would have happened, at the very least.

Like I've said in other posts, DC does not care about age gaps. They care about making sure Bruce isn't gay.

[emo-batboy]

thoughts on battinson with his like seven kids and they have to suffer through everyone wanting to fuck him cause have you seen him??

Alright so this response kinda works in a competely separate realm of canon than what I usually post. I’m gonna preface that right now, but BOY do I have thoughts :D

So when I think of Battinson and his (non)accidental orphan acquisition, I see Battinson as being on a much more even playing field emotionally than most other iterations. He’s not really as stoic and put-together, so having kids (especially multiple) would cause a LOT more chaos and drama. So in this case, I like to think that it happens at a very rapid rate. (Again, I’m saying this because this require straying from the film’s canon to a much larger degree than I usually do.) SO by the time he’s 32, he has an 11yo Dick, a 9yo Jason, and an 8yo Tim. And they probably grow with him much like teen parents do with their kids. He’s not as authoritative as most parents. Instead, he starts out as like half older brother, half dad, then graduates to the roll of batdad after his whole vengeance era.

THAT ALL BEING SAID!! BECAUSE THEY’RE SO MUCH OLDER AND BRUCE IS YOUNGER, THEY DEAL WITH A LOOOOTTTTTT OF CREEPY LADIES TRYING GO GET WITH THEIR DAD. (AND THEY ARE VERY. SMART. FOR THEIR AGE)

Dick, older brother and the leader of the “Save Dad and Our Childhood Innocence” brigade teaches the three everything there is to know. He is the most experienced with these awful public events like galas and charity auctions, so he is in control.

And it is SO much easier to get the creepy suitors to back off when they work as a team

Dick talks everyone’s ears off. He’s the golden boy (getting perfect grades and gold medals in his school’s gymnastics team) so he EASILY gets away with distracting people

Dick will insert himself into adult conversations all the time, and Bruce always lets him, which allows Jason and Tim to wreak havoc on whatever target they chose.

Whenever it isn’t too obvious or it’s late enough in the night, Jason will fake a cold or a headache sometimes (he’s prone to falling sick) and Bruce will insist that he take his kid home and tuck him into bed himself, very fatherly

Tim uses his Youngest Child points to woo the nicer ones and direct them away from Bruce, but it doesn’t usually works on the gold diggers (and thank god because Tim HATES acting cute) so he’ll use it on Bruce instead

When those three plans don’t work, the three gremlins start getting Creative TM

Jason, taking a swig from some wine glass and proceeding to spray it all over Vicky Vale’s white dress: “This isn’t grape juice!”

Tim, resident iPad kid and (despite popular belief) The Most Evil of the Three, sees some lady touching his batdad so he finds her phone number on an online directory and prank calls her every time she gets too close

Suitor: “Your father is very handsome.” Dick: “My father’s dead :(” “…” “Oh wait, you mean Bruce! Yeah, he’s nice.”

One lady starts hanging off of Bruce, but he needs to run off to say hello to an investor. Jason appears from nowhere in his dapper little tux and the lady just says, “So uhh, you like the Wiggles, right?” Jason: “Nope! Have you ever read Crime and Punishment? :)”

Dick “accidentally” slaps some obnoxious guests with his wild hand gestures “Oh no! I’m so sorry :(( Let me get you an ice pack” and pulls them away while the other two hide their laughter

One of the ladies who is WAY too comfortable and forward when flirting with Bruce is forced to sit down with Tim and he goes in head first “what are you doing with my dad?” “oh you know what adults do, honey. Messing around, having fun” and he’s like “well My dad doesn’t look interested” “of course he is! who knows? Maybe we’ll hit it off and make another one of you one day” which gives Tim intense psychic damage, but he’s a horrible little brat so he doesn’t give up. He hits her with the innocent doe eyes and asks in the cutest fucking voice “Where do babies come from?” she BOOKS IT (they never see her again)

Anyway, to answer your question: they are little terrors. and Bruce knows they’re little terrors, but he doesn’t care because he hates the creepy attention even more than they do, but this way it comes with a show :D

[confusedhummingbird]

Why I love New Teen Titans/New Titans Dick Grayson best.

In my opinion New Teen Titans/New Titans Dick is the best Dick. He's so well rounded and amazing that many iterations after him feel like they're missing something.

But the reasons I enjoy NTT/NT Dick best are:

He was always one to try and find a peaceful solution. If there was a way to fix a problem without fighting, Dick would chose that choice.

Dick is super good at self evaluation. He's always constantly thinking and trying to better himself. He reflects on his own past actions and works to not make the same mistakes again.

While Dick Grayson is known for his "temper" for the most part NTT/NT Dick always tended to keep a cool head. And if he did yell at someone he was usually quick to apologize because he doesn't like being angry at people.

His teammates mean the world to him. He tries to keep them from making unnecessary risks that could endanger themselves. He also is very protective of them and will fight to protect them no matter who threatens them.

He also loves his team so much he will help them in anyway that he can such as spending days trying to find out about Donna's past. Or helping Roy track down Cheshire so he can see Lian again.

While he's a serious leader he's also one to know how to relax when the time calls for it (In his own Dick Grayson way) and even make jokes.

He isn't comfortable being like Batman. He doesn't feel comfortable even using some of his interrogation techniques. That's just not him.

While his relationship with Bruce was complicated to say the least Dick would acknowledge that for better or worse Bruce helped mold him into who he is today and he still loves and respects him even if he doesn't agree with him as much as he use to.

I could honestly get into so much more (Might make a part 2) but NTT Dick is my favorite Dick Grayson and is the one I consider to be "The True Dick Grayson".

[ghost-bxrd]

Ghost, you are a fountain of incredible aus. I am impressed (and a little jealous). Do you have anything more on eldritch Jason or the Calvin Rose road trip au?

Awe thank you! I’m happy you’re enjoying all the crack content on here hehehe 💚💚

and boi do I have more ✨

Edlritch Jason 👁️

Jason has trouble keeping his true form in check when he’s excited! The happier/upset he gets, the more his outline and shape start to ooze

He has several maws with teeth that range from blunt to sharp needle points. In one of those maws hides a black hole

Jason is scared of space, funnily enough. Too empty and vast for him as he gets lonely pretty easily. He likes the crowded spaces teeming with life.

Jason loves learning new human things

Jason has no reaction to fear or joker toxin. Or any kind of substance that would impair a regular human’s health. Bruce finds out about that after he nearly loses his mind with worry following a widespread toxin attack in which Jason “forgets” his rebreather.

Pictures of Jason always end up looking a little displaced. There’s always some kind of glitch/blur/shadow in it that no amount of tech improvement can get rid of

Even though he’s eldritch at core, Jason’s human body can still be hurt, and he experiences pain just like any other human would

Calvin Rose road trip 🌹

Calvin finds Jason soaking wet and still in his funeral clothes and injuries sitting by the curb and is disturbed enough by the kid’s appearance to usher him back to his hideout.

For the longest time Calvin thinks Jason is called Bruce because that’s the only thing he will say

Taking Jason with him is a spur of the moment decision. Jason reminds him too much of himself, beaten and broken and locked away in a dog cage to die, and he looks so… lost. Calvin can’t bear to drive away from that without knowing what happens to the kid

As much as Calvin grumbles about it sometimes he’s exceptionally good and patient with Jason. He talks a lot and points out inane things even though he rarely (if ever) gets a reaction. (Calvin was lonely, not that he’s gonna admit that)

For some time Calvin thinks Jason used to be trained as a Talon when a few people try to mug them and Jason goes all Robin-training on them. He’s sure their little experiments went to far and the Court meant to dispose of him now that he’s “broken”

The first words Jason speaks that isn’t any iteration of Bruce’s name is “burger” (because he wants a burger). Calvin buys him ten because that’s literally the first time Jay has ever expressed an opinion on food.

Jason’s second word is “Dick”, and Calvin nearly chokes to death on his beer.

From there on it’s a steady improvement of Jay’s mental state, but that also means he starts getting night terrors as he remembers his death and the Joker. Once Calvin pieces together the broad picture he’s down to devising plans to dispose of the clown. He’s not making compromises where people who hurt children are concerned. Especially not if they’re family

Jason never tells Calvin about Batman or being Robin, he’s… kind of happy to be away from all of it. Especially after seeing Brucie Wayne and his new protege and Dick Grayson, a happy and smiling family, on the news together. And sightings of Robin making the front page of most magazines

Calvin knows Jason is hiding something from him, but hey, so is Calvin. All he knows is that his kid brother road trip buddy really doesn’t seem to like Gotham’s vigilantes. Something he can totally respect. And thankfully, Calvin is skilled enough to keep him safe even if the glorified furry and his acolytes were to come after Jay for whatever reason.

Jason’s favorite song to listen to while driving is “I know the end” by Phoebe Bridgers. Calvin starts out hating the song but is to endeared by how happy Jason gets (even in his early catatonic state) that he doesn’t say anything. It ends up being both their favorite song

[meara-eldestofthemall]

Is DC at the stage where they're unwilling to let time flow anymore (a 'Time Crisis' if you will), and the only way anyone's age changes now is through 'time shenanigans'.

Because there has to be an upper limit for how old they will allow a character to be - e.g. (For several reasons) They will never allow Bruce Wayne to turn 50.

You got it in one. Time is now an enemy that needs to be kept at bay, Why?

DC (and other comic books) have to keep their characters within a believable age range. It’s why DC has never allowed their characters to age in real time. They can’t and still keep them viable as Intellectual Properties.  Batman premiered in Detective Comics Comics #27 in March of 1939. Since Bruce was supposed to be somewhere around 22 to 25 years old at that time, he would pushing 130 years of age today.

The biggest canonical age-up in the Batfamily was Dick Grayson. Because of the 1966 Batman TV show he went from a ‘tween to a teen overnight. This was back in the days when I was young, meaning that comic books weren't really taken very seriously. The TV show was a huge success, so DC climbed on board the gravy train and tried to match as much in the comics as they could. 

 After the show ended in 1969, DC wisely realized that keeping an 18 or 19 year old in this costume...

was a truly bad idea (if not soft core porn at that point). Which is why Dick changed to Nightwing.

Dick was about 20 years old (maybe a little older at this point). He was a young adult but an adult by anyone’s standards. Dick then went to Bludhaven where he got not only his very own city to protect but better fashion sense as well. 

What this inevitably meant is that Bruce had to be aged up as well, leaving Bruce in his early 30′s when Dick became Nightwing. Batman got a series of Robins. First Jason..

Who was with him for 2 to 3 years. Batman is now early to mid 30s when Jason dies. Then Tim...

who started as Robin at 13 and stayed Robin until 17. That’s another 4 years. Bruce is now in his very late 30s. Then Stephanie...

who stayed Robin for all of 2 minutes before Tim was Robin again.

Bruce was in his very late 30s when Damian, age 11, came into the picture.

Four more years passed and not only did Tim go from being Red Robin to Robin again but he lost, then gained back a year of age. Damian went from 11 to 13 years of age, making Bruce in his early 40s.

The point is that each new iteration of Robin ages Bruce up. He’s now supposed to be in his early 40s. He’s beginning to feel age creeping up on him. A part of Bruce is finally ready to accept that he physically won’t be able to continue as Batman in another decade or so.

This is why the “Time Crisis” as you call it is vital. Batman has to be kept no older than he is now to be believable. It’s also why Damian got an upgrade to 13 but Tim is going to stay 17 basically forever. Yes, DC can pull some time shenanigan’s and let Damian and Tim get maybe a year older each but that’s it. 

The bottom line is simple. Batman and family are the biggest money makers DC currently has. If rumors are to be believed, Batman and Co are the only real money makers DC has. They’re pulling no end of crazy storyline stuff with Bruce but the one thing they cannot do is make him older. As someone in her late 60s I can tell you from experience that your early 40s are when you have the unpleasant awakening that you can’t push yourself like you used to. Sickness hits you hard. It takes longer to recover from injuries. You’re reminded of the wear and tear you put on your body over the years when you get out of bed each morning. 

“Time Crisis” isn’t really a crisis. It’s simply acknowledging that Batman isn’t Superman or Wonder Woman. He’s Bruce Wayne and Bruce Wayne may be the pinnacle of what a normal human can reach but he’s not an alien or a demi-god. Bruce Wayne is only mortal and all mortals fade with time.