#and some human kids made a prediction of 6 weeks
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Honestly losing my shit over the fact Canada's Groundhog, Fred, fucking DIED before he could make his prediction. Motherfucker saw the shadow of DEATH
#phil said 6 more weeks tho#and some human kids made a prediction of 6 weeks#in place of fred#fred la marmotte#groundhog day#groundhog day holiday#phil the groundhog#fred the groundhog#american holidays
1 note
·
View note
Text
A Brief Overview of Alpaca Farming in Australia
Originally posted at my blog: https://garaksapprentice.blogspot.com/2023/09/alpaca-in-australia.html
I went to the royal show on Monday, and I chatted up the rep at the Alpaca Association booth, and then I blogged about it. Enjoy.
---
The Royal Show is on this week. Being in need of free entry civic minded, I volunteered to help man the spinner's and weaver's guild stall.
This gives me half a day to wander the showgrounds, and half a day where I stand at the booth, spindle spinning for the public, and blowing people's minds with random facts like "This is how people spun thread for most of human history, the treadle spinning wheel was only invented in the 1500s" and "It took longer to spin and weave the sails for a Viking longship than it did to build the ship itself". Kids in particular love to see how thread is made.
My first shift this time was a morning one (I only slightly regret that choice, being that I Am Not A Morning Person). So of course the first thing I did when I knocked off was go and talk to the alpaca breeders. (They were easier to find than the sheep.)
I must have arrived at a good time, because I had a great chat with the rep manning the Alpaca Association stall in the building. I have a keen interest in the local fibre industries, for obvious reasons. So I always take the time to talk to anyone involved with it, in any capacity.
So how are alpaca doing?
While alpaca have only been in the country for 30 years or so, herd numbers have been growing dramatically in the last half decade as farmers start to focus on fibre production (and to a lesser extent, meat) as well as genetics. The rep (I regret not getting his name now) reckons some sheep farmers, who have traditionally been resistant, will likely start switching over to alpaca in the next decade or so as they start to realise the advantages alpaca have. (Personally I think integrating alpaca alongside other things is the way to go - diversity creates stability, resilience, and higher yields.)
One of the reasons for his prediction is that alpaca are simply better suited to large chunks of the climate here than merino sheep. (Merino are, to put it politely, too overbred for wool production to cope.) They're softer footed, for one. I know that doesn't seem like a big deal, but Australia's soils are ancient. They were absolutely wrecked within fifty years of sheep, cattle, and other hard-hoofed animals being introduced. Returning to soft-footed grazers, in conjunction with regenerative pasture practices, would go a long way to fixing the damage and sequestering carbon back into the landscape.
Genetics, fleeces and microns, oh my!
Many farmers are focussing their breeding programs on two things - extending the amount of time their animals keep producing a low-micron fleece, and improving the consistency of micron count across the fleece as a whole.
In "unimproved" animals, the fleece will be coarser in some areas and finer in others. Think about human hair - different parts of our body have coarser or finer hair, too. In alpaca, the finest fleece is found on the saddle and neck. The belly and legs are coarser, and have more guard hairs (they're the tough, prickly ones). Breeders have been working to bring the fleece as a whole closer to the same fine-ness for a couple of decades.
(Please forgive my drawing skills. I couldn't find a better, copyright free image.)
Fleece quality changes as alpaca age, too. Unimproved animals usually give a year or two of fine fleeces, and then the wool gets coarser with each clip. The rep I talked to said that his herd's animals now hold their fleece consistency to about 5-6 years old. (He has one dam that has held her fleece for 8 years - he's really hoping those genetics can be passed on to her young!)
Why is this important? Because finer, more consistent fleeces are worth more. (There's a limit to how fine you want to go, though - commercial machinery doesn't like extremely fine fleece, so the ideal is 18-24 microns. That's still next-to-skin soft, for most people.)
Part of the complexity of raising commercial alpaca fibre is the range of colours (there's two dozen recognised in Australia), that you then have to sort and grade by micron count (there are four grades used by the industry), into 150kg bales for sale. Most farmers choose to breed either suri or huacaya, not both, because of that complexity.
(These are just four of the colours alpaca comes in. The top two fleeces I bought from different local fleece farmers. (The grey in the upper left is from dirt trapped between the fibres - the whole fleece is actually the same light, smoky grey.) The bottom two came from friends of friends who own hobby animals or livestock guardians - you can see how much dirtier the non-commercial fleeces are, compared to the commercial ones. (Yes, the bottom right fleece came off one animal - piebalds and spots are recognised alpaca colouring.))
Alpaca fleeces that only have two grades of fibre, or even one, are quicker and easier to sort at shearing time. That means less expense for the farmer, and a better profit margin.
Another way farmers cut the complexity is to focus on breeding specific colours, such as pure black, that are in high demand from the fashion industry.
Shearing and staples
Alpaca, like most sheep breeds, have lost the ability to naturally shed their fleeces. They must be sheared regularly to keep them healthy.
Shearing season in Australia is usually an annual event, due to cost. It starts about now (September) in the greater Adelaide region, has been going for a month or more up in Queensland, and the highlands here and in NSW/Victoria won't start until October or later. Every animal gets done at the same time, starting from about six weeks old. That way the animals are happier over summer, and it keeps their fleece quality higher.
Part of that fleece quality is the length of the wool, or staple. The ideal staple length for fleeces is 80-120mm - that's the sweet spot for both commercial processing machinery and handspinners. While handspinners definitely have the capacity to spin short fibres, most aren't interested in a fleece with less than 80mm staple. (I am an outlier in that if a fleece is nice, I don't care what staple length it has. I will find a use for its yarn.)
Another factor is the amount of VM (vegetable matter, such as grass seeds - clover burr is a particular problem) and dirt in the fleece. You can't do much about the dirt - alpaca *love* to roll, it helps to keep their coat healthy - but farmers do their best to keep VM low. Commercial buyers and handspinners alike appreciate it. (The example fleece the booth had out for touchies had too much VM in it to sell to handspinners. It didn't look like much to me, but again, I have lower standards than many of my kind.)
Personally, I love spinning alpaca. I find it easier to process than sheep since it doesn't need scouring. Dirt falls right out as you're spinning, and in the washing of the yarn (I spin it unwashed in the traditional Andean way). The natural colours are gorgeous, and it takes dyes well. The one downside for me is that it's so much warmer than sheep. Great for the being outside in the depths of winter, not so good for the rest of the year.
Overall I'm excited to see where the local alpaca industry heads over the next decade. I think there's great promise for improving the sustainability of our fibreshed, and for alpaca farming to be integrated into broader regenerative agriculture practices.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
WK S7 Prediction: Clever the Raven.
Episode 2 of the 7th season of Wild Kratts will be titled, Clever the Raven.
The Tortuga is parked in the Great North and some strange noises have Koki thinking it's time for a diagnostic overhaul. As they are near Little Howler's pack territory, the bros decide to try to find the wolf pack. Unexpectedly, a raven joins Martin and Chris on their adventure and the brothers soon learn about the incredible intelligence and ingenuity of the raven.
This episode was the first of the new season to be announced. I believe it was in an interview with Jane Goodall [yes, that Jane Goodall] a few weeks before Cats and Dogs started airing on television. They said they'd do eps. about the intelligence of ravens and crows so maybe they'll be doing a crow episode later on? My prediction of it being the Season 7 premiere seems to be wrong but eh, I'm not even that phased.
The geography of Little Howler's pack is so confusing. In Season 1 they're in the temperate forest, most likely in midwest North America. Then in Seasons 5 and 6 he apparently moved up north to Alaska?? Are they just gonna go with that retcon in S7, or are they going to have the "Great North" be a completely different turf than what we've seen? This has the same energy as the numerous Corpanga-origin retcons in Boy Meets World. Ugh I'm putting more thought into this than the show itself is doing, aren't I?
I'm kinda hoping that Little Howler ages here? I think there should be an episode in itself about the baby animals growing up and showing how that's a part of every creature's life cycle. The show has aged up its animal characters before like with T-Bone, Fluffy Flier, Baby Tooth, and Kid Musky, so I don't see a reason why they can't do the same with others.
The Molly of Denali crossover with Wild Kratts showed the Kratts looking for a wolf pack. Was this episode made specifically to pay tribute to that episode? Either way, I can't overlook this and it's probably a coincidence, but it's really nice.
Ok but seriously, this show is doing the Lord's work by showcasing the underrated and misunderstood genius/incarnates that are ravens. They've been known to have a very good memory, are extremely empathetic, and they're actually creature rescuers, help animals in need, or even protect humans. They're one of the most intelligent and dangerous avians in the creature world and don't act like this show isn't going to do them the justice they deserve! I'm probably getting my hopes up too high, but I think I'm going to have a very pleasant viewing experience with this.
#wild kratts#wild kratts season 7#wild kratts s7#wk s7#wolves#ravens#pbs kids#pbs#2023#I'm so hyped rn
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Helloooo. Lemme start by saying how awesome fantastic amazing your fics are. I have a solhwi ask/prompt if it's not a problem. What would the study group's reaction be to established solhwi + bonus for prof kim and yangs reactions. Any headcanon or fic you can write about this please.
wicked love, leaves me blind
read on ao3 • masterlist
a/n: aaaa thank you so much for the kind words and the request! there's slight canon divergence in this and i decided on a more head canon format for this fic. this turned out kinda longer than expected but AAA my mind really ran with this prompt lmaooo. without much further adieu, i hope you like this <333
it's been 2 weeks since joon hwi confessed to her, running to her house in the middle of the night, panicked and afraid after the news of lee man ho hunting down professor yang
after the man had run from the scene, joon hwi was sure that he'd come back to his house, not afraid to hurt anyone on the way there. and in an instant, he started running, taking off towards her house without a second thought
by time he had reached her house, he was drenched in sweat, his heart thundering out of his chest in panic, in fear and in hope, that she was all right. he knocked frantically on the door of her house, hoping, praying that she was alright.
and to his relief, sol opened the door, her hair put up in the familiar messy bun. she yawned as she opened the door languidly, still wearing the hanguk law school sweatshirt he had once loaned her during a sleepless night of studying.
"han joon hwi? what are you doing here, it's lat-"
he lunged for her without a thought, gathering her in his arms and pressing her close to his body. she's alive, she's okay, chorused in his head as he shuddered out a breath of relief. she let out a soft oof but relaxed into him, her arms coming around his waist in a familiar way
he pulled away after what seemed like not long enough of a hug, and maybe it was the adrenaline, or the pure euphoria of finding her safe and in one piece that pushed him towards her lips, kissing her with fevor.
and after a shocked moment, she kissed him back, drinking him in, tugging him closer, desperate for more, more, more
and the rest was, well, history. it didn't take long after for the two of them to confess to each other, understanding that they needed each other in their life.
so it's been 2 weeks since han joon hwi confessed to her. really, they meant to keep their relationship secret. in the midst of their fight against assemblyman ko, the case against lee man ho and the mystery of what really happened the night of the hit-and-run case, they agreed that it was easier to keep it under wraps
after all, it was a new relationship to both of them. it wasn't like they hadn't dated other people, but what sol and joon hwi had was a carefully built friendship that was founded in trust and care for each other. and making it public, could only do them more damage as they become leverage against each other if their case goes south.
they only had one, very, very small, problem.
they were awful at keeping their hands off each other
alone time was very scarce for the both of them. with joon hwi being highly ranked, he was always pulled into every study session and every discussion in the school. not to mention, he had his own studies to maintain, alongside working at the legal clinic and helping professor yang with the mystery that had plagued the school.
kang sol's case was no different. she had to slave over her assignments, spending every spare moment at the school library, pouring over her text books. the moment not spent there was split between working to gather money for her mother and byeol, the legal clinic and assemblyman ko's case. not to mention her digging into kang dan's whereabouts as much as she could.
every single time they had together, there were too many people around for their tastes. during their busiest days, they had settled for subtle touches and stealing glances at each other whenever possible
so they spent their spare moments, huddled in the corridors, catching up on each other's days, making out and getting some time alone.
they'd make all kinds of excuses to leave early or walk each other to their dorm rooms, trying to maximize all their time with each other. every time they made to each other's rooms, they'd linger at the entrance, trying to see each other for just one more second.
and it was no wonder that when they first got caught, sol was pinned against the stairwell wall, joon hwi's lips buried in her neck. his fingers ghosted the hem of her shirt as she was pulled him closer to her and then...
clang!
the two broke apart, startled at the noise, their faces red. joon hwi's usual bangs were disheveled, sol's messy bun now loose and her hair cascading down her shoulders.
the two of them turned their head towards the noise only to find ye-beom and bok-gi, the latter's mouth gaping open like a fish. ye-beom on the other hand, stopped sucking on his lollypop, eyes wide as they looked at each other then looked back at the couple who were caught red handed.
bok-gi's hands were still frozen as the plate that fell from his hands lay at his feet and for what felt like eternity, there was absolute silence.
and then chaos.
"you two- when did you- how- what-" both of them started firing their questions rapid-fire.
the couple, who's faces were strawberry red, shushed them the best they could, looking around frantically to ensure no one else would here the commotion.
it took around 10 minutes for the boys to calm down, still reeling from what they witnessed
slowly, the couple explained that they were dating, and satisfying some of their curiosity before letting the boys go, with the stern warning of never repeating any of this information to anyone.
predictably, their whole study group knew about sol A and joon hwi the very next day.
of course, while ye-beom and bok-gi were huge gossips, they made sure the news didn't reach outside their sphere.
the next day, sol and joon hwi were the first ones to walk into the hideout, attempting to put up their "we're best friends! no relationship here!" facade up early, while the rest of the group quietly shuffled in.
they were good for the first 5 minutes (in reality they didn't last even 2 minutes) but joon hwi just can't keep his eyes off of her, especially when she's working through arguments for the case
the lovesick display lasts about... 10 minutes before Sol B stands up from her chair abruptly, causing everyone to jump in their seats.
as always, her face is neutral, but she spins to face ji ho, as the boy adjusted his glasses on his face so he could look up at her
"you own me 20 dollars" she simply stated at him, her hand outstretched
"what, no way i'm paying that" ji ho moved back, his face shocked that she even remembered
"you bet that they would take 3 months to confess, and i bet at 6 months— "
"it's been way longer than 6 months!"
"mine was closer"
"i think," ye-seul interjected as she took her seat at the table, heading back from her project work for professor kim's class, "that you both owe me 20 dollars. from what I remember, i bet that they would take longer!"
a chaotic clamber erupted as each member argued who owed who money, who bet on what,
"yah, ye-seul, how could you bet on me like that!" Sol interrupted the clamor, spinning to look at her best friend in shock and disbelief.
"sorry, unnie. it was too tempting of an offer for me to turn down" she replied, not looking the least bit apologetic.
joon hwi grinned at sol A as she looked around flabbergasted at their friends, before he grabbed her idle hand and held it up.
"just so we can fend off any confusion, sol is now my girlfriend. sorry we didn't get to tell you earlier, but to make up, we'll treat you to a dinner after all this mess is offered."
their group cheered at that, never being the one to turn down an offer for free food
it was bliss for the couple after that, and relief too. they could both agree that keeping a relationship under wraps was much harder than they could handle, with so much of this being new to them alongside the chaos of their lives
telling their friends took the pressure off, at least allowing themselves to indulge in each other without having to be extra careful of who was watching.
theirs was a blinding love. it was blinding bliss, it was peace.
bonus +1:
professor kim was a busy woman, but she always had the time for her students. taking the time to know each and every one of them was something she took pride in as a teacher.
but out of all her students, the study group lead by han joon hwi consisted of her favorite students that she taught. as a result of professor seo's unfortunate death and the reveal of everything that assemblyman ko had orchestrated, professor kim found herself around those kids more and more.
nevertheless, it was another day, another case to navigate at the legal clinic. it was a busy afternoon at hanguk law school, and professor kim's star students, sol and joon hwi huddled together trying to find the best way for the property case at hand
she had always had a soft spot for those two, ever since their class first semester when sol A blurted out a judgement and joon hwi, out of nowhere supported her. of all her years of teaching, she hadn't found a duo that was more hardworking, passionate and loyal than the two of them
Sol A was not her brightest student but she had tenacity and passion that more than made up for it. She could spot the hardworking girl, hunched over her textbooks hours after every other student had left.
Professor Kim had always found that some of the brightest students in her class would make for the worst in the field. because, being a lawyer wasn't about memorizing the codes or adhering to the rigid structure that many assumed the law to be. it was to offer kindness, compassion and understanding that they were humans first, before they could be judged by the law
and she knew that Sol A was one such girl who had that. She had watched as she defended Yang, even when the detectives and prosecutor were trying to close up the case and force him down as the perpetrator. even when joon hwi was accused, Sol stood by his side, pursing every route possible to prove his innocence. At every turn, she stood up for those who needed sympathy and kindness from the law; for those that the law would have hurt.
Joon Hwi was no different. the first time she saw him, she assumed him to be a cold, callous genius who had no time for anyone but himself. but oh, how wrong she was. Joon hwi was quiet the opposite. Even while being a generally reserved student, he had an inviting energy surrounding him that made every one like him, despite the intense competition at school
from the first day, it was clear he wasn't here for the marks or the validation of his teachers: it was passion and self motivation that drove him. it was clear that he was built to practice law, his mind was always sharp for legal terms and loopholes. but joon hwi always went the extra mile for his friends, always gave an extra hand to help, even when they didn't necessarily need it.
she could see it in him during Ye-Seul's case, eager to help her. she could see it when Ji Ho's father's suicide case came out, how eager he was to help and comfort his roommate.
but most of all, she could see it with Sol A. she wasn't sure when she had noticed their closeness, but she could see them walking the halls together, a smile spread across both their faces or them arguing across the table at the legal clinic, trying to work out the best method.
she could see it in the way Joon Hwi watched Sol, an almost lovesick smile on his face when she smiled or when she finally got the answers she was searching for. Professor Kim also knew, from her years of watching professor yang and prosecutor bae dance around each other, that it would be rare if they confessed to each other
so it was very odd when she looked across from her stack of papers to find joon hwi holding sol's hand as he flipped through the case file in front of him, both of them hyper focused into the details
maybe it was pure curiosity, maybe it was a taste for chaos that motivated her to call out "oh, are you two finally dating?" expecting their flustered and embarrassed reactions
but instead, she was met with a beaming smile from Joon Hwi that answered all the questions she had. Kang Sol on the other hand was left glaring and sputtering at her new boyfriend.
it was funny and gleeful, watching two of her favored students find a new life together, forging a new path.
and it was also pure relief for her, that she wouldn't have to deal with another professor yang and prosecutor bae situation
bonus +2:
the cold wind whipped around them as the couple accompanied professor yang back to campus. another night, another mystery, another trip to the police station to give witness statements
tonight was no different as the truth of the hit-and-run case started revealing itself, and the professor had accompanied the two students in silence, contemplative of all that has happened, the puzzle pieces slowly clicking together
professor yang was never meant to be a professor, in fact he hates the title itself. what he was meant for was to interrogate, to dig up clues and find out exactly who the culprit is and use the law to prove why they were guilty. for him, one's feelings did not matter, it was always about the evidence presented in front of him and how it could be interpreted.
it didn't mean he didn't care about his students, quite the opposite. it just meant that he wasn't the nurturing type as professor kim was. the one to always meddle in student affairs or keep track of how his students were doing outside of class
but with the two students walking beside him, they were the ones that he wanted to see succeed. they were the ones he was the most proud of as they presented their cases in public, finding their own ways to fight against injustice.
he was proud of them and in his heart, he knew it reminded him of a certain set of school mates, ones that were attached at the hip, a regret he has carried with him until he met her again on the court floor.
so maybe it was the deliriousness of all they had went through together or pure stupidity that made him pause in the tracks. his students continued on for a moment but then paused in their tracks, turning around to see what had stopped their professors.
"Kang Sol A." he nodded towards her.
"Han Joon Hwi." he nodded towards him.
"Congratulations on your new relationship"
he paused after, looking up at his students, both of them wide eyed that Professor Yang of all people, congratulated them on this.
and then, as if making it worse, he smiled.
Kang Sol's mouth dropped open, her hands reaching up to her eyes to rub them as if she was hallucinating what she saw.
Han Joon Hwi was incredulous, blurting out "Professor, have you been taking methamphetamines again?"
"Professor Yang has taken WHAT?" Sol whipped her head around, the sight of her professor expressing glee was already too much for her to handle but the news that he has taken meth just drove her head into overdrive.
the two were stuck in their positions, as their professor moved forward, brushing past them as if this event had never happened.
#law school jtbc#law school#law school kdrama#mine#ryu hye young#han joon hwi#kang sol a#professor kim#professor yang#yangcrates#jtbc law school#solhwi#my writing#kim beom#kim bum#ye beom#ye seul#kang sol b#ji ho#lee david#bok gi
204 notes
·
View notes
Text
How RE Village (8) SOLVED almost every problem that I had with RE Series
Okay - a few weeks ago I made a post that was “The ones that suffer the most” where I showed and explained my main problems with Chris and Jill and the RE series in general
RE 1 is my fav game of this series and probably one of my all time favs, I player every RE there is to be played except 4 (because I dislike Leon, sry)
Recently, specially after 4, the franchise had a few problems, specially in writing/map design/lore
Resident evil 5 for example (I love this game) but it has it flaws, Chris there is only driven by anger and action - Sheva is used as a tool for lore exposition and to be Chris’s new partner
PLEASE: be aware that game at that generation didn’t have much lore - with some exceptions, like God of War 1 2 3 were a simply game with a simple lore, and the most recent GoW has evolved a little bit in the storytelling
Until we hit rock bottom in RE6 - I know a lot of people like this game, but this is only and action game, bad writing and generic stages.
Chris there is so mistreated that makes me mad (if you want to read more about this go to my other post “the ones that suffer the most”)
Until RE7 appeared, Capcom had a new engine and they wanted to do a game that was more horror like - since RE is know for being a Survival horror game.
I liked 7 - some people complained about Ethan being without emotion and others complained about the mold, a few didn’t like the FEAR vibes from Eveline.
I personally enjoyed the game, I thought RE series was going back on track, that game has it’s problems but it was really nice compared to what we had in 6.
After that game I had a conversation with my best friend and I said that I wanted a game that portrayed Umbrella’s fall since the only game that shows this is Umbrellas Chronicles (and that is most a resume of what happened)
And I said: “Bro, I wish that when they made that game, they could tie some mythological lore and human evolution before Umbrella - using Spencer, this would solve LOT OF STUFF and open new ways to handle this series”
and guess what - this happened in RE8 and kudos to the one writer that did that, i have my gratitude.
RESIDENT EVIL 8 is probably one of the BEST RE games that we had IN YEARS
And I want to address all thing that I loved in this game and do some predictions to what will happen in the next games.
“WELL WELL IF IT ISN’T ETHAN WINTERS” (The Father of the year)
My father was not a great guy... really, so I want to be the best dad ever, I really want be like Ethan - a guy who is ready to sacrifice and fight every monster in the way to save my family.
Ethan was a character that in RE7 was used to make us fell like that it was us in the Baker’s house, so that is why he didn’t had that much personality (in my opinion) but they changed that in RE8, here he has nice dialogues AND a diary
He has one of the best story line in the whole REverse, a guy that did EVERYTHING in his power to save his daughter - and you saw that playing the game, every sentence line that he delivered, he tried to save others too and even tho Chris said to him stay put ... but he couldn’t, he had to go to the altar, he had to help Chris, he had to go forward and keep going, specially after having the tools to face Heisenberg.
The plea from a father, that was his last wish, after he heard that Mia was alive he knew that someone had to stop that monster, he made a promise to his daughter “Daddy won’t let those weird fairy tale monsters get you” so he trusted Chris, to be the one that teaches his kid how to be brave and strong
I will not address Chris and Rose situation here because this is Ethans part and he deserves completely all the spotlight, his sacrifice was 100x times better than Steve (CV)/Piers(6)
My cheers to Ethan Winters - You have my respect !
Revelations -> RE8
So leaks from earlier times said that RE8 sucked and Revelations 3 was amazing
Revelations FYI is know for using old tales in RE stories
Revelations 1 - Dante’s Inferno
Revelations 2 - Frans Kafka
Revelations 3 - Dracula
But since RE8 sucked, Capcom said to the REV3 team that they could make REV3 become RE8 and they accepted
Revelations series is one of the best in the games, they handle Jill in a way that I love, Claire and even Barry - so they deserve all the spotlight for making this awesome game - you CLEARLY can see that they love this series and that they treat all the characters with the love that they deserve.
Keeping that in mind, they are the same team that made Rev 2 and in REV 2 we have this file here
So they had a plan for Jill and we can see that in RE8 - I will address that later but keep that in mind - this team cares for the old characters, they were the ones that brought Barry back to the games :V
Chris Redfield
This is a hard one, because he is my fav character and I usually have the most critics regard him, since I’ve expect a lot from Capcom
In the latest games they made him kind dumb, only muscles type of guy and an alcoholic that let all the people in his surroundings die (RE5,RE6,Vendetta)
RE6 treats him the WORST
But in RE8 he had an amazing part in the storyline, it was obvious that he wasn’t evil and they FIXED HIS EYE COLOR - FINALLY
I still don’t like the model face that much but it’s way better than 7 - so I believe Capcom, I still feel that he need more jawline
But let’s go to the most important thing - here he really feels like a squad leader and a veteran, he has his team but he is the one in the front line, he covers and ask for help when he needs, everything about his line delivery makes you feel like “Woah, this guy is a badass, he is not some stupid guy only driven by emotions”
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FINALLY GETTING THIS RIGHT
If you remember my post about the ones that suffer the most / Jill is also in that list and I will talk about her a little bit later but if my guess is right RE8 saved her character aswell
Another thing that I enjoyed here is the fact that he is kind of a mercenary / Neo Umbrella kind of guy, even tho he is one of the founders of the BSAA
So I will give you all my score to this game:
9/10
I won’t give 10/10 because of some technical issues, the cursor lock didn’t work and mouse sensitivity was i dunno, not the best.
RE8 and the future (PREDICTIONS) - Jill Valentine, Chris Redfield, BSAA, Neo Umbrella, Ada Wong and Rosemary
First let’s look Rose
The first time I saw Rose all grown up - I thought to myself : She has the same problem as Eveline (age a lot faster than normal)
But she also absorbed Miranda’s power since the metalicite (something like this) thought that she was a better host. - so maybe she will live longer or something because I doubt that they will do a 14 years time skip.
This is not the same as Terra Save logo (Claire’s job) but it kind reminds me of it - her shoes appeared at least 3 times in this cut scene so maybe they are trying to show some hints with this
She really reminds me of Jodie (Beyond two souls, a game where a girl has a lot of power and the gov uses her in missions and stuff, but she also is learning how to be her own person)
Another thing here is that they don’t have a logo in this car, it really reminds me the car that Chris as using in RE8
This supports the theory that Chris’s organization is dealing with her instead of the BSAA, the she is a hot headed girl and that she had a lot of powers.
So here you can say that she is just a kid because she is a teenager, but what if she actually grows older really fast (like Eveline) maybe this is just 1 year later / 2 yrs later. (after RE8)
So this is the tricky part, this is Chris’s guard/soldier, someone that Chris trust to stand by her side, in my mind I do believe that Chris is kind of a father figure to her, so when this guys says this he is thinking about hot head Chris but she replies “Yeah” thinking about Ethan - (she has the mold memories, so she can actually remember Ethan’s memories)
Now let’s look at this
BSAA
So in REV1 is hinted that BSAA is not the best organization in the world, but since our heroes work there we think that they are the good guys right ?
In REV 2 (it’s important to remember that the team that created RE8 is the same from the REVELATIONS and they had this file here in REV2)
This email is from Jill and what does Jill have ? T-Virus
Wesker is a different case since he was a project and she had the vaccine but this would make a lot of sense if they had this tests with Jill to get the T-Virus
If that is the case, they explained Jill’s absence in the main games, could even explain why Chris left BSAA and opened a new window to a lot of possibilities
My Predictions:
- Chris had trouble dealing with BSAA and Jill’s case, he wanted to get her out of there, maybe he removed her from there but that resulted in him being expelled from the force
-Jill may or may not know what they are doing with her blood, but she will have a huge part in the BOW used by BSAA
-Chris is married to Jill (sorry- I had to place this here, in a perfect world he has two kids with her and they all love aunt Rose)
-Chris will hopefully be a father figure to Rose and they will be in a game together since in the end they came to get her
-Rebecca is still involved in BSAA activities (leak from new REV3) if you consider Vendetta canon, she maybe the one that used Jill’s sample of blood to create the virus soldiers
-Barry maybe retired
-I don’t think Leon will be in this game, but he will get his RE4 Rmk
- I do believe RE9 will be release after Code veronica rmk and MAYBE they will do a game about Umbrella’s Fall (Chris and Jill in Europe against Red Queen and BOWs)
But that is it, you can see a lot of elements from old RE games in RE8, they tried to do something really smart and the game felt amazing to play, that was something else and it’s been a while since a player a RE game that made me feel that way <3
#resident evil#resident#evil#village#re8#chris#dad#redfield#rosemary winters#rose#mia winters#ethan winters#re9#predictions#jill valentine#valenfield#Rebecca Chambers#t virus#umbrella#code veronica#claire redfield#bsaa#miranda
315 notes
·
View notes
Text
Judicious Reaper AU
Hiveswap/Death Note Crossover
Tyzias Entykk is going heading home for the night when she stumbles across a strange black book on the ground. She picks it up and reads the five rules, written in plain Alternian.
The troll whose name is written in this note shall die.
This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected.
If the cause of death is written within the next 40 seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen.
If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack.
After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds.
She shrugs it off and stuffs the "Death Note" into her bag, figuring it's just some weeb thing that Tegiri dropped and she could return it to him tomorrow.
Later that night, she finds herself mulling over the Death Note with the TV on in the background, wondering what it could be from. Tegiri's never been shy about his interests, so it does strike her as odd that she's never heard him mention it. It's not like it could be new either, as Tegiri would've bragged about his new notebook the first chance he got. Just as Tyzias resolves to look it up, Trizza appears on the TV screen.
Trizza subjects her audience to another one of her narcissistic tyraids about how much better she is than everyone else and how she's definitely the rightful Empress. Tyzias, already tired from a long night of work and throughly fed up with Alternia's bullshit for that night, decides to write Trizza's name in the Death Note. Just as Tyzias dryly remarks to herself that "i wwwwish it wwwwas that easy", Trizza drops dead on stage. Tyzias drops her mug in shock.
Alternia is sent reeling on the inexplicable death of its Heiress and Tyzias is left staring mortified at the Death Note in her hands. She quickly throws the book in the trash and resolves to try and get to bed early that day, knowing she'll have a long night of work tomorrow. She doesn't get much sleep that night.
Predictably, Alternia has descended into absolute chaos by the time Tyzias wakes up. Trizza's death has inspired the rebellion to be more overt and violent, actively organizing raids and invasions while highblooded rebels like Fiamat try and seize control of the power vacuum. This leaves Tyzias swimming in so much paperwork that she barely has time to even think about the Death Note in between tending to the emotional needs of a shocked and confused Stelsa and trying to get her work done on time.
In the coming weeks, the Purples and Violets loyal to the Empire begrudgingly unite to try and get a handle on things. Chahut is elected as a stand-in heiress, as she's the only one persuasive enough to convince the castes to work together for the time being. Marvus, however, has a different reaction.
He knows for a fact that Trizza didn't just die. The Messiahs gave him the script, told him how everything was supposed to play out, and Trizza was much to important to drop dead. She was assassinated, she had to be. It was the only rational explanation, even if he didn't understand how just yet. His only choice was to find this assassin and play damage control to try and correct this timeline. Part of him knew that was impossible, that they'd gone so wildly off script that their timeline was doomed now, but that's what made the challenge so appealing.
It's only when her work load had died down several weeks later that Tyzias thinks to pull the Death Note out of the garbage. That's when she found Ryuk standing over her. After she panics and tosses her mug through his head, Ryuk laughs and intoduces himself.
He explains to her what he and the Death Note are and why he dropped it on Alternia. Sure, Ryuk is typically supposed to be one of Earth's shinigami, he's had a lot of trouble finding good entertainment sense "that Light kid died" and figured a more bloodthirsty species could provide it.
"You, however, seem to be an exception to that rule. Most trolls in your place would be thrilled to have this much power. But you seem almost afraid of it. Afraid of what you could do with that power and afraid of what that power could do with you. I can't say any if its human owners had that same wisdom."
Tyzias admits that she doesn't really know what to do with it. She'd always wanted to stage a nonviolent revolution, to reform the system from inside while killing as few people as possible. But, that was before she had the Death Note. With which she could control the Rebellion's body count, only burn down what she needed to so she could come and rebuild it into something better.
Tyzias decides to take her mind off the dilemma by chasing down a case that interests her. Lowbloods had been going missing in her area lately and she wanted to investigate. It would've been easy to just chalk this up to violence in response to Trizza's death, but there were no bodies. No signs of struggle even, suggesting that either the lowblood community had either taken the opportunity to evacuate en mass or they'd been abducted during all the confusion.
She finds her breadcrumb trail and follows it back to one Zebruh Codakk, who'd taken the opportunity to lure lowbloods to his hive with the offer of safely sitting out the violent rebellion. True to form, he immediately enslaved those who accepted his invite.
Unfortunately, this is where Tyzias' case would hit a brick wall. Highbloods enslaving Lowbloods wasn't illegal and it would take months for her to forge enough evidence to convict Zebruh of an actual crime. But.... Tyzias has the Death Note. With the flick of a pen, she could remove Zebruh from the picture and free all his slaves.
So, one night, Zebruh mysteriously dies of a heart attack while a strange troll in a cloak frees his slaves. She introduces herself as a "judicious reaper" and advises them to take as much of Zebruh's stuff as they can and run. Their hives aren't safe anymore, the authorities would likely pin Zebruh's death on them.
Marvus, meanwhile, has been blindly searching for leads on Tizza's killer and hears about Zebruh's death. Through this, he puts together that the assassin is a genuine revolutionary and not just someone grasping for power, given both their targets were cruel towards Lowbloods and killing Zebruh wouldn't likely solidy any kind of power base for them given how unpopular he was. After he tracks down one of the escaped slaves, he learns about the "judicious reaper" who saved them and deduces that the assassin might actually live nearby. After all, they didn't show up at the scene of Trizza's death, but they did show up here. Or, at least, sent one of their operatives here to free the slaves.
He decides to test this theory. He orders a squad of bluebloods to seize control of the town, cutting of the wifi and intercepting all incoming signals, before rounding up a random selection of five trolls from each caste. The plan is to publicly execute them in the town square under the excuse of "quelling rebellion". If the killer does indeed live in that town and they're as altruistic as Marvus suspects, they'll likely kill these executioners to prevent any deaths, inadvertently outing that they live in that small town.
The killer clearly has supernatural means available, as Trizza and Zebruh seemed to die of natural causes, which means that supernatural system likely has rules and limitations to it. This gives Marvus the hunch that the killer might need names and faces to kill people. As such, only some of the executioners will publicly announce their names or take off their masks.
Tyzias is unaware of the ploy and of the full extent of Marvus' knowledge, as she has no reason to believe that anyone suspects that there even was a killer. As such, she's trying to figure a way out of this situation that won't give anyone looking for patterns a reason to think that there might be a killer. Unfortunately, Stelsa is one of the trolls selected to be executed, so her hand is forced.
Luckily, Stelsa's executioner gave both his name and his face, so Stelsa was saved, but Tyzias couldn't save all of them and a good chunk of trolls were still executed. She suspects now that this was a set up, given how weird and candid it was that some of the executioners gave their names and faces but others didn't, but her attention is currently on comforting Stelsa.
Marvus is ecstatic at having his theory proven correct and decides to investigate. Not personally, but by proxy. He's a celebrity, so he can't exactly go asking around himself, nor could any of his associates without raising suspicion. So, he decides to outsource to the last kind of troll that the killer would suspect. Boldir.
Boldir has been a pretty open pain in Marvus's neck for awhile now. He knows she's constantly poking around where she shouldn't be and he knows she's good enough at it to not leave any kind of tangible, solid proof. He'd only been tolerating her because the script said he needed her alive, but now she can play into his hands a little more directly. Marvus tracks her down and meets her in person at her hive, both because she'd figure out he's involved if he tried to deal with her indirectly anyways and because it makes the statement of "I know who you are and where you and your loved ones live". Boldir initially refuses to cooperate, but her interest is peaked when he offers her a favor. Marvus knows about Fozzer and he knows about how his personality has changed. Marvus offers to use his chucklevoodoos to get to the bottom of Fozzer's strange behavior if Boldir investigates this "judicious reaper" for him.
Meanwhile, Tyzias is comforting Stelsa. She's hesitant to open up to Tyzias, as they're matesprites and not moirails, but ultimately, she has no one else to turn to. Stelsa nearly breaks down going over how, not only is Trizza dead, not only does the Empire seem to be collapsing all around her, but the very Empire she trusted just tried to kill her for seemingly no reason. She's scared. Exhausted. Confused. And she just doesn't know what to do.
Tyzias considers revealing that she killed Trizza, all she'd have to do is hand her the Death Note, but she doesn't. Tyzias and Stelsa have always just politely ignored each other's political leanings. Tyzias has never had to lie about it before.
Putting those heavy feelings to the side for now, Tyzias realizes she has to get out of town. Killing those executioners was a big giveaway towards her existence and even potentially her identity, and, if it was a ploy like Tyzias suspects, it's likely the Empire's noose is closing in right that second. Luckily, Tyzias finds her answer online.
It turns out The Mask is one of the trolls Tyzias saved from Zebruh's clutches, and, after going through her files on Zebruh's case, Tyzias is able to figure out she's Chixie Roixmr. Chixie had been singing about the "judicious reaper" who saved her and had gotten people to rally behind them as part if the rebel movement. Tyzias sends Chixie a letter as this "judicious reaper", using her position to fudge the paperwork so this can't be traced back to her, and asks Chixie to perform live in her home town in three nights. Chixie announces her schedule change to her fans online, which sends swarms of The Mask fans to Tyzias's town.
Tyzias spins this to the now very paranoid local government as a potential rebel invasion and gets them to agree to an evacuation. Boldir keeps Marvus updated on this process and Marvus realizes that the killer is making an effort to escape. Deciding this would be the perfect opportunity to just get rid of them in one swoop, Marvus uses his resources to hire Azdaja and Konyyl to attack the evacuation train and kill everyone aboard.
This turns out to be Marvus's fatal mistake. Azdaja abd Konyyl start arguing at a crucial moment, allowing Tyzias, Stelsa, and Boldir to escape unharmed. Boldir even realizes how badly Marvus has shot himself in the foot as now the killer will know for a fact that someone powerful is after them.
Indeed, as soon as Tyzias, Stelsa, and Boldir make it to the next town over, Tyzias looks into the two assassins who tried to kill her. Realizing how expensive their fee is, Tyzias realizes just how powerful the person hunting her is. They're clearly onto her and have no problem bringing as much of their reach to bear on her as possible. So, she decides she has no choice but to take the fight to them.
So, Tyzias writes Chahut's name in the Death Note, effectively beheading the pro-empire side of the conflict. The should force her pursuer to back off and focus on the chaos going on above them, and it does. Marvus has to address this new power vacuum because otherwise he'll be next in line to fill the Heiress' throne, which would put him next on the killer's chopping block. Knowing he can't leave Boldir to handle this case unsupervised, he decides to kidnap Fozzer and use him ti threaten her into line directly. Now, Boldir is forced to wear a recorder all night, every night to make sure she doesn't try to betray him while he sorts things out between the purple bloods and the violet bloods.
Unfortunately, Marvus doesn't have to wait much longer to get results. Boldir is able to pin down Tyzias's identity after she pickpockets the Death Note and gets a good look at it. While Boldir doesn't meet Ryuk, as ahe snuck off before the two could notice each other, she does see that the names written down perfectly match the killer's known victims. That, alongside the rules listed up front, gives her enough proof to pin Tyzias as the killer. Boldir quietly returns the notebook so to avoid alerting Tyzias before informing Marvus.
After getting the rundown on Tyzias's personality from Boldir, Marvus kidnaps Stelsa to strongarm Tyzias into surrendering, broadcasting his demands to all of Alternia. Tyzias calls him and sets up a time and place to surrender, agreeing to come unarmed. In Tyzias's last gambit, she bribes Ryuk into staying out of sight on the night of her execution before sending Chixie a letter containing a page of the Death Note and the front page instructions how to use it. Thus, when Marvus attempts to execute her live before Alternia, he ends up dying as Chixie writes his name in the Death Note.
Marvus puts the pieces together as he dies, realizing that the strange black book filled with names that Tyzias had was how she killed her victims. He laughs and congratulates her for putting on one hell of a show before his heart stops.
With the pro-empire side soundly decapitated and with no one as competent as Marvus or Chahut left to carry the torch, Alternia swifty falls to the rebellion. Tyzias is offically given the title of the Judicial Reaper after her rebel friends rescue her and offer to shower her with awards. But, Tyzias puts all if that to the side. She needs to talk to Stelsa.
Stelsa is hurt, bitter that Tyzias did all of this behind her back. For as long as she had known her, Tyzias had said that she wanted to change Alternia peacefully. And, as much as Stelsa tried to dissuade her, she respected that. But, Tyzias assassinated the Heiress the first chance she got and now, one sweep later, had effectively taken over Alternia.
Tyzias tries to explain everything to her. She didn't want to overthrow anyone until Zebruh and Marvus forced her hand, she even hands Stelsa the Death Note and introduces her to Ryuk to prove it, but Stelsa is done.
Tyzias had the chance to tell her everything. Explain everything. Maybe even convince her of everything back when Stelsa was looking for comfort when the executioners showed up. But that moment is gone now. Stelsa leaves Tyzias behind with tears in her eyes.
Boldir catches up to Tyzias drinking at a bar. She introduces herself, explains how shes knows her, and apologizes for everything. She explains how someone she cared about was threatened and how she was currently tryinf to convince the rebels to let Fozzer out of containment due to his imperial bootlicking attitude. Tyzias symoathizes and the two bond over shared stories. Ryuk is bemused by the fact that Boldir doesn't seem intimidated by him.
After being given a high rank in the Rebellion's new regime, Tyzias is able to bring about the world she'd always dreamed of. Turning Alternia into a better world, step by step. After Glybglob is killed and the Condescension defeated, Tyzias finally works up the courage to confront Stelsa again.
After Tyzias took over, Stelsa wasn't really sure what to do with herself. So, she hid and watched the world change around her from the safety of her hive. Fear turned to curiosity and that turned to wonder. Stelsa has, during her sweeps in hiding, seen the ways that Tyzias had improved upon life on Alternia and is, after countless sweeps, willing to forgive her.
Sweeps later, after the Alternian Empire has been reshaped from the ground up and after Tyzias's body finally starts to give out, Ryuk comments that Tyzias is probably the only person he's seen win when handed the Death Note.
"Most people I give this thing too tend to lose. Usually because they try to cheat death, play God, or win big. But you? You didn't do any of that. And you won because of it. Sure, it made things a bit boring in places, but ut made things pretty fun too."
Ryuk writes Tyzias's name in his book. "Well, Tyzias, so long. It's been interesting."
#hiveswap#death note#tyzias entykk#stelsa sezyat#ryuk#marvus xoloto#boldir lamati#chixie roixmr#crossover#long post#judicial reaper au
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Season One of “Adventure Time”: Short Episode Reviews
At the start of 2021, I had this idea to write up a book wherein I reviewed every episode of Adventure Time, condensing my thoughts down into a few paragraphs. It seemed easy enough at the time —I could knock a season out in a week, no prob, I thought — but it turns out it was quite the challenge. Part of this was the difficulty of boiling everything down into a few coherent paragraphs that didn’t just repeat the ideas that “This episode is wacky. This episode is bad.” (I was also dealing with untreated ADHD, so that probably didn’t help.) Even though it was a hurdle, I still got through seasons 1-4, and I thought I’d post my reviews here. Maybe one day I’ll do something with ‘em, but for now, enjoy!
Season 1, Episode 1. “Slumber Party Panic” (692-009)
Airdate: April 5, 2010
Production Information: Elizabeth Ito and Adam Muto (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Synopsis: Princess Bubblegum accidentally resurrects a violent mob of candy zombies, which leads to Finn doing the unthinkable: He breaks a royal promise to Bubblegum.
Commentary: It is always a delight to remind people that Adventure Time—a show that would go on to win a slew of prestigious awards and be lauded by critics as one of the smartest kids show that has ever been made—begins with Princess Bubblegum “add[ing] three more drops of explosive diarrhea” to a scientific mixture with which she hopes to bring the dead back to life. This elision of a macabre topic like the resurrection of the dead with a poop joke is in many ways emblematic of the sort of humor upon which Adventure Time was built, and while “Slumber Party Panic” might not be the season’s best episode, it does a solid job introducing the odd, madcap energy that would allow the show to flourish in its youth.
The plot to “Slumber Party Panic”—storyboarded by future series director Elizabeth Ito as well as eventual showrunner Adam Muto—was hammered out well before the show’s mythology was set in stone, and so some of the more hyperbolic plot points from this episode (e.g., the dramatic revelation that candy citizens explode when scared, or the fact that the Gumball Guardians are also the nigh-omnipotent Guardians of the Royal Promise, who can stop and reverse time itself) had to be ignored in later seasons. Nevertheless, the main characters’ personalities are all firmly established, allowing them to play off one another in a way that does not feel forced or misguided; Jeremy Shada and John DiMaggio, in particular, have excellent chemistry, breathing whimsical life into Finn and Jake right off the bat. All things considered, “Slumber Party Panic” is a fun entry and a solid preview of the silliness that was to come. (3.5 stars)
Season 1, Episode 2. “Trouble in Lumpy Space” (692-015)
Airdate: April 5, 2010
Production Information: Elizabeth Ito and Adam Muto (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: “Trouble in Lumpy Space” is a Ito-Muto production that introduces us to Lumpy Space Princess, the loquacious and dramatic drama queen who was destined to become one of the show’s breakout stars. A sentient blob of “irradiated stardust,” Lumpy Space Princess is an alien valley girl parody voiced by none other than series creator Pendleton Ward himself, and this episode does a commendable job illustrating the character’s immaturity and her ridiculously inflated sense of self-importance. This makes for good entertainment in and of it itself, but what really bumps this episode up a peg is the vocal delivery of the cast. Adventure Time always excelled when it came to its voice acting, but in this episode it is obvious that in this episode Jeremy Shada, John DiMaggio, and Pendleton Ward had extra fun playing around with their ridiculous “lumpy space” accents.
Aesthetically, this episode is quite the sensory experience. Lumpy Space itself is a hauntingly beautiful alien dimension of dark magenta skies and purple, pillowy clouds; it is a right shame that the show very rarely made use of this unique environment, considering how pleasant it is to look at. The episode’s soundtrack is also deserving of recognition, with much of the background music—especially the vapid pop tune that plays while Finn, Jake, and Lumpy Space Princess hitch a ride in Melissa’s car—recalling the elastic hyperpop that electro-wizzes from PC Music produce. The tunes add an extra dimension to the whole experience, helping to sell the idea that Lumpy Space is a silly but alien otherworld. (3 stars)
Season 1, Episode 3. “Prisoners of Love” (692-005)
Airdate: April 12, 2010
Production Information: Adam Muto and Pendleton Ward (storyboard artists); Craig Lewis and Adam Muto (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Ice King! Beginning the series as a cartoonishly incompetent antagonist, Ice King would grow into one of the show’s most well-developed characters. While “Prisoners of Love,” being the character’s debut episode, sees the Ice King still in his one-dimensional “wicked wizard” stage, there are hints even at this early juncture—like the character’s dramatic insistence to pluck out a yogurt chip from his trail mix, or his spasmodic attempts to play the drums—that the Ice King is more than just a textbook baddie. Is he evil? Judging by his actions, it often looks that way, but there is also a deep sadness to him that makes even his worst behavior somewhat pitiful.
But as pathetic as he may be, Ice King’s lecherous habit of kidnapping princesses is completely unacceptable (Princesses, Adventure Time would like to remind us, should never be married against their will), and by episode’s end, Ice King receives his just desserts—a feminist-fueled kick to the face, courtesy of Finn the Human. The moral of the story is clear: Poor old Ice King might just be lonely, but that does not excuse him for acting like a frost-bitten incel. (3.5 stars)
Season 1, Episode 4. “Tree Trunks” (692-016)
Airdate: April 12, 2010
Production Information: Sean Jimenez and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: “Tree Trunks” introduces the audience to the eponymous character, voiced by Polly Lou Livingston, an eccentric octogenarian with a pronounced southern drawl whom Pendleton Ward knew growing up in Texas. Despite Tree Trunks appearing as a sweet old pachyderm, much of her dialog is riddled with double entendres and subtle sex jokes that go over the heads of children, and as such, she is something of a divisive character in the Adventure Time fandom: While some viewers find her hilarious, others find her decidedly off-putting. In this episode, however, storyboard artists Sean Jimenez and Bert Youn strike a decent balance between the character’s funny and creepy sides (case in point: The scene wherein Tree Trunks, in the gawdiest of makeup, tries to seduce an evil monster with her “womanly charms and elephant prowess”). The major exception to this overall balance is the episode’s decidedly morbid conclusion, which features Tree Trunks exploding after tasting the crystal apple. This was perhaps the show’s first non sequitur ending, and almost certainly left an indelible imprint on the minds of viewers young and old alike. (3 stars)
Season 1, Episode 5. “The Enchiridion!” (692-001)
Airdate: April 19, 2010
Production Information: Patrick McHale, Adam Muto, and Pendleton Ward (storyboard artists and story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: According to the annals of cartoon history, the initial storyboard for “The Enchiridion” was whipped up by Ward and his crew members to prove to Cartoon Network that Adventure Time could be developed into a full-fledged series. This was almost certainly a stressful task, which necessitated that Ward et al. dissect the pilot, determine what elements worked, and then infuse those elements into a new storyboard. As a result of this “open art transplant,” there are quite a few analogs between the pilot and “The Enchiridion!”—e.g., the wacky dancing, the dream sequences, the ridiculous language—but this episode does a solid job of emulating the style of the pilot without wholesale duplicating it.
In terms of plot, “The Enchiridion!” is a fairly predictable adventure story, but it is one with enough clever variations that prevent the whole affair from dragging or being too boring; standout scenes include Finn and Jake having to deal with granny-zapping gnomes, and the D&D-inspired reverie in which Finn is tempted to slay an “unaligned” ant. The episode is further buoyed by several fun guest stars (including Mark Hamill, Fred Tatasciore, and even Black Flag’s Henry Rollins) that sprinkle a little additional energy on top of the whole thing. Given the exuberant fun of the episode and the way it easily introduces us to supporting characters like Princess Bubblegum, it is intriguing why the producers did not choose “The Enchiridion!” as the series premiere. That question aside, “The Enchiridion!” is one of the season’s stronger episode and an excellent place to start if you want a crash course in what made early Adventure Time so unique. (4 stars)
Season 1, Episode 6. “The Jiggler” (692-011)
Airdate: April 19, 2010
Production Information: Luther McLaurin and Armen Mirzaian (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: “The Jiggler” opens on a fun, hyperactive note, with Finn singing “Baby,” a catchy song coated in layer upon layer of sweet, crisp autotune. But soon after Finn and Jake discover and “adopt” the titular creature, the affair quickly devolves into a cartoonish snuff film of two dullards accidentally torturing a wild animal; the whole thing is made worse by the high volume of bodily fluids excreted by the Jiggler. Thankfully, Finn and Jake are able to return the Jiggler to its mother before it keels over, but this victory is undermined given that the whole situation was Finn and Jake’s fault to begin with. Perhaps it is best to view all of this as a cautionary tale: No matter how cute a wild animal may look, you probably should not take it home and make it dance for you. (2 stars)
Season 1, Episode 7. “Ricardio the Heart Guy” (692-007)
Airdate: April 26, 2010
Production Information: Sean Jimenez and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon, Adam Muto, and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: “Ricardio the Heart Guy” introduces the titular villain, the brainy-but-sleazy heart of the Ice King voiced to perfection by the sonorous George Takei. Given how arrogant the character acts even before his true intentions are revealed, it is not much of a shock that Ricardio is a rotten egg, and this lack of mystery drags the whole episode down to some degree. Nevertheless, Takei’s histronic performance injects into the episode a funny sort of melodrama, with is further reinforced by Casey James Basichis’s sparklingly dark score, which mixes in elements of opera alongside the usual chiptune blips and bloops to emphasize Ricardio’s pretentiousness. (3 stars)
Season 1, Episode 8. “Business Time” (692-014)
Airdate: April 26, 2010
Production Information: Luther McLaurin and Armen Mirzaian (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: On the surface, “Business Time” is but a silly parody of corporate culture that sees Finn and Jake become the veritable CEOs of an adventuring firm. It is a silly little set up, and the show has good fun poking fun at business-speak and the deleterious effects of rampant corporatization. At the same time, by relegating Finn and Jake to the sidelines near the middle of the episode, “Business Time” does itself a disservice by focusing not on the wacky shenanigans of the business men, but rather on the mundanity of Finn and Jake’s “managerial life.” It all comes together in the end, when Finn and Jake are forced to jump into the fray and destroy the Business Men’s vacuum robot, but the noticeable lag there in the middle of everything throws the pacing of the episode off.
But while “Business Time” might not be the strongest first-season entry, it has gained respect in the fandom for being the first episode to underline that the Land of Ooo exists in the far future after some sort of nuclear holocaust. In an interview with USA Today, Ward explained that this was a natural development that he had never planned: “[When] we did [the] episode about businessmen rising up from an iceberg at the bottom of a lake … that made the world post-apocalyptic, and we just ran with it” (X). Considering how major the post-apocalyptic trappings would become to the show’s mythology, it is a bit startling to learn that it was added in on a whim. Regardless, it was an inspired choice that added a tinge of sadness to the story of Finn and Jake. They were not just frolicking in some fantasy world; they were frolicking in the ruins of our world, long after nuclear war had devasted the planet. Is it bleak? Absolutely! But this bleakness contrasts nicely with Adventure Time’s colorful surface, resulting in a deeply rich ambivalence. Not many shows—let alone children’s shows!—have managed to fuse such extremes into a workable whole. (3.5 stars)
Season 1, Episode 9. “My Two Favorite People” (692-004)
Airdate: May 3, 2010
Production Information: Kent Osborne and Pendleton Ward (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: Almost all the first-season episodes that we have considered so far have placed a heavy emphasis on comedy. The point of these episodes is to make you laugh, and anything beyond that is gravy. “My Two Favorite People,” in contrast, may be the first that is grounded on a solidly emotional foundation, and while the episode is very funny, it is primarily interested in telling the poignant story of two brothers and a gal they both like. If anyone has ever found themselves caught up in a love triangle—whether real or, as in the case of this episode, imagined—Jake’s actions, although immature, will likely feel relatable. It is a cheesy cliché, but the story’s strength is that it all feels so real (which I recognize is a funny thing to say about a cartoon dog and his unicorn-rainbow beau).
“My Two Favorite People” is the first episode that really features Lady Rainicorn as a mover of the plot rather than just a fun side character, and it is a wonderful showcase for her. While a handful of later installments—namely season four’s “Lady & Peebles” and season eighth’s “Lady Raincorn of the Crystal Dimension”—would try to highlight Lady, “My Two Favorite People” is arguably the character’s funniest episodes, thanks in large part to her use of a universal translator, which allows the other characters to understand her. To some, a device such as this may seem like a cop-out, but storyboard artists Kent Osborne and Pendleton Ward cleverly preempt this criticism by making the device’s only useable setting one that gives Lady the voice of a great-great grandfather. Lady’s “old-man voice” is an episode highlight, and it makes many of the character’s lines (e.g., “Come on my darling! Wrap your legs around me!”) both hilarious and unsettling. (4 stars)
Season 1, Episode 10. “Memories of Boom Boom Mountain” (692-010)
Airdate: May 3, 2010
Production Information: Sean Jimenez and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: During the production of season one Ward exerted considerable effort trying to shepherd the show’s crew in a coherent direction, all the while responding to critiques levelled by dozens of Cartoon Network executives. Many of these critiques were contradictory, and in the process of creating something that he was proud of while also appeasing everyone around him, Ward very nearly went bananas. The experience provided the bedrock for “Memories of Boom Boom Mountain,” and to anyone who has been given the arduous task of pleasing a whole slew of prickly critics, the episode will be immediately relatable.
In terms of the show’s budding mythology, “Memories of Boom Boom Mountain” is notable because it firmly establishes that Finn was adopted as a baby by Jake’s canine parents, Joshua and Margaret. This plot point was likely guided less by worldbuilding and more by humor (perhaps playing on the whole “raised by wolves” idiom). Nevertheless, this decision would have major ramifications for the show’s overarching narrative. Finn’s nature as the only human in Ooo was no longer a silly afterthought—it was now a mystery. Just who is Finn the Human, and where did he come from? These questions would linger for seasons, finally culminating in season eight’s touching miniseries Islands. (4 stars)
Season 1, Episode 11. “Wizard” (692-020)
Airdate: May 10, 2010
Production Information: Pete Browngardt, Adam Muto, and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: “Wizard”—co-storyboarded by Pete Browngardt, an artist who storyboarded on Chowder and The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack before creating the divisive Uncle Grandpa for Cartoon Network—is an absolute bonkers installment that throws logic out the window by giving Finn and Jake magical powers. It is a plot setup almost guaranteed to be fun, and you can tell that the writers likely a good time coming up with increasingly asinine magical powers (e.g., “endless mayonnaise”).
But underneath all the distraught dust motes and captivating new hairstyles, “Wizard” also has a degree of depth, reading like a biting commentary on higher education-industrial complex in the United States. It does not seem coincidental that the strategies employ by Bufo’s scam wizard school are strikingly similar to those used by predatory colleges, which offer students a worthless degree alongside thousands of dollars of debt. The parallels are made stronger when it is revealed that all those whom Bufo has tricked are reluctant to upset the oppressive status quo, because they believe “newfangled thinking will get [everyone] killed”; this eerily mirrors those who downplay the student loan crisis, arguing that “that’s just the system works.” Finn will have none of this, however, and by episode’s end, he—channeling his myriad wizard powers and the vigor of “youth culture”—proves that if a system is broke, it has got to go. Maybe we could learn a thing or two from that. (4 stars)
Season 1, Episode 12. “Evicted!” (692-003)
Airdate: May 17, 2010
Production Information: Sean Jimenez and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Adam Muto (story writer); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: “Evicted!” is considered a classic by most Adventure Time fans for one simple reason: It introduces the audience to Marceline the Vampire Queen. This iconic undead rocker chick managed to steal the spotlight whenever she appeared in an episode, and eventually she became one of the show’s more well-regarded characters. Given all this, there is some irony to the fact that in her debut, Marceline is the antagonist who steals our heroic duo’s beloved Tree Fort. Marceline is therefore similar to other season one baddies in that she tests Finn and Jake’s patience before engaging them in direct combat. But Marceline is set apart from other foes in how Finn and Jake defeat her—namely, that they do not. In fact, she pounds them into the ground almost effortlessly! Besting Finn and Jake is no easy task, meaning that while “Evicted!” might showcase Marceline’s nastier side, it nevertheless does an excellent job emphasizing how much of a badass she is; this goes a long way in explaining the character’s huge popularity.
But Marceline alone cannot an episode make. Luckily, “Evicted!” is further bolstered by several excellent design choices, including a bevy of fun background critters whipped up by character designer Tom Herpich, a slew of colorful background designs courtesy of Ghostshrimp and Santino Lascano, and a killer soundtrack. Regarding the latter, the stand-out tune is inarguably “House Hunting Song,” a comically overblown ballad detailing Finn and Jake’s arduous quest to find a new place to live. The song, sung mostly by Ward with a few lines delivered by Olson, is an emotion-laden earworm guaranteed to wiggle its way into your brain. (I mean, how can you not love a song that blames the murderous tendencies of vampires on simply being “burnt out on dealing with mortals”?) It very much is the blood-red cherry on top of everything, which helps to make “Evicted!” one of the season’s strongest episodes. (5 stars)
Season 1, Episode 13. “City of Thieves” (692-012)
Airdate: May 24, 2010
Production Information: Sean Jimenez and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: “City of Thieves” is a workable if somewhat forgettable mid-season entry. The episode’s main strength is its titular setting, a bizarro municipality where theft is the law of the land. Unfortunately, the city is nothing more than a silly plot device, and the episode itself never really rises above “fine.” (2.5 stars)
Season 1, Episode 14. “The Witch’s Garden” (692-022)
Airdate: June 7, 2010
Production Information: Adam Muto, Kent Osborne, and Niki Yang (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: If you think the idea of Jake sassing Ooo’s cattiest witch is funny in and of itself, wait until you see this episode’s visuals. From Jake’s grotesque but silly “manbaby body” to the abject horror of Gary the Mermaid Queen, “The Witch’s Garden” is replete with several memorable character designs that make it a satisfying entry. (3 stars)
Season 1, Episode 15. “What Is Life?” (692-017)
Airdate: June 14, 2010
Production Information: Luther McLaurin and Armen Mirzaian (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: Giving Finn and Ice King a son is not a move that I thought Adventure Time would ever make, let alone in the first season, but here we are. The bouncing baby boy in question is actually a clunky robot named NEPTR, voiced to sadsack perfection by comedian and musician Andy Milonakis. If you had told me prior to this episode that Milonakis could give a sentient microwave a sense of pathos, I would have never believed you, but in “What Is Life?” he does a commendable job conveying NEPTR’s pitiful nature. As for the episode itself, “What Is Life?” is a solid entry that introduces viewers to several recurring characters (one of whom being Gunter the penguin) while offering us a peek into the Ice King’s sad, lonely mind. (3 stars)
Season 1, Episode 16. “Ocean of Fear” (692-025)
Airdate: June 21, 2010
Production Information: J. G. Quintel and Cole Sanchez (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: “Oceans of Fear”—storyboarded by Cole Sanchez and J. G. Quintel, the latter of whom would go on to create Regular Show for Cartoon Network—is in an interesting installment that establishes Finn’s fear of the ocean, reminding the viewer that even great heroes will be forced to deal with irrational phobias at some point in their life. The character designs in this episode are quite amusing (with the standout being Finn’s grotesque “fear of the Ocean” face), and Mark Hamill, as always, does a wonderful job, using his trademark “Joker voice” to give the Fear Feaster a delightful air of villainy. But as with “Business Time,” many of these elements are upstaged by the episodes’ post-apocalyptic trappings. In fact, when I watched the episode for the first time, I paused it in several places, asking to myself, “Is that a wrecked battleship? Is that a bombed-out tank? Why are there ruins of a city underwater?” It is an understatement to say that this episode is positively littered with rusted debris and centuries-old detritus that testifies to Ooo’s traumatic history. For eagle-eyed fans hoping to piece together Adventure Time’s mysterious mythology, this episode is an absolute hoot. (3.5 stars)
Season 1, Episode 17. “When Wedding Bells Thaw” (692-013)
Airdate: June 28, 2010
Production Information: Kent Osborne and Niki Yang (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: One of the first episodes to team Ice King up with Finn and Jake, “When Wedding Bells Thaw” is a goofy lampooning of bachelor parties and the institution of marriage in general. Although the episode ends on a fairly predictive note (spoiler alert: Ice King tricked his fiancée into marriage), seeing Ice King get along with our heroes is charming, and in many ways it presages the Ice King’s future character growth. The episode’s strongest part is the short dialogue-free montage near the middle depicting Finn, Jake, and Ice King getting into all sorts of “manlorette party” shenanigans; this sequence is made all the stronger by Tim Kiefer’s chiptune score, which enlivens the party with a burst of synthesizers and electro-drums. (3 stars)
Season 1, Episode 18. “Dungeon” (692-013)
Airdate: June 28, 2010
Production Information: Elizabeth Ito and Adam Muto (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: If there is one episode that feels like the entirety of Adventure Time’s first season distilled down into 11 minutes, then it would be “Dungeon.” An episode replete with outrageous monsters and wacky action, “Dungeon” is a high-energy installment that pays homage to the sprawling world of table-top gaming; indeed, it is not hard to imagine storyboard artists Elizabeth Ito and Adam Muto reaching for a D20 or a well-worn copy of the Monster Manual whenever it came time to block out a new scene. Stand-out moments from this episode include Finn’s encounter with the Demon Cat (famous for having “approximate knowledge of many things”), his visitation by a “guardian angel,” and the deus ex machina ending that see Princess Bubblegum swoop in to save the day. (“Get on my swan!”) And amidst all the silliness, “Dungeon” even manages to sneak in a sweet little message tucked snuggly in between all the wacky monsters about the importance of recognizing your weaknesses. (4.5 stars)
Season 1, Episode 19. “The Duke” (692-023)
Airdate: July 12, 2010
Production Information: Elizabeth Ito and Adam Muto (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: For most of season one, the audience is presented a version of Princess Bubblegum that is bright, effervescent, and totally nonthreatening; the monarch, it seems, is as aggressive as a marshmallow. But in “The Duke,” this all changes, and we finally get to see the princess’s darker, authoritarian side. Unhinged Princess Bubblegum is quite a sight to behold (as is the sight of green-and-bald Bubblegum), but it adds another layer of to the saccharine sovereign, setting her up for substantial character development a few seasons down the road. (3 stars)
Season 1, Episode 20. “Freak City” (692-008)
Airdate: July 26, 2010
Production Information: Tom Herpich and Pendleton Ward (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: “Freak City” introduces the audience to Magic Man, a deranged and flamboyant Martian wizard known for meaninglessly harassing the citizens of Ooo. Although the character’s backstory would be fleshed out in later seasons and eventually come to play a major part in the mythology of the series, this episode was storyboarded well before these developments were dreamed up, meaning that here, Magic Man functions as a simple (albeit funny) villain-of-the-week whose nihilistic tendencies clash wonderfully with Finn’s optimistic worldview. Finn is so used to dividing the world up into “good guys” and “evil guys,” but his run-in with Magic Man is proof that morality is far more confusing than he would like to believe. The main problem is that Magic Man is not really evil: He is clinically insane—a violent psychopath—who does not care about his actions impacting others. No climactic fight or eleventh-hour pep talk is enough to fix him.
On top of this rather weighty consideration of morality and mental instability, “Freak City” contains another, more straightforward message about the power of teamwork and how people should work as one to overcome common problems. Storyboard artists Pendleton Ward and Tom Herpich have quite a bit of fun taking the idiom literally by forcing Finn and the other denizens of Freak City pile on top of one another to function as a single, grotesque being that is capable of fighting Magic Man. While “Freak City” loses some points for espousing rhetoric that folks who are depressed can simply will themselves out of their funk, it makes up for these deficits elsewhere with its character designs—ranging from the inside-out bird to the two-headed monster that Finn groin-strikes—which are all bizarre in the best, most creative way possible. (3.5 stars)
Season 1, Episode 21. “Donny” (692-018)
Airdate: August 9, 2010
Production Information: Adam Muto, Kent Osborne, and Niki Yang (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: A rather forgettable protagonist and only a smattering of memorable lines make “Donny” the season’s weakest link. The episode does get points for introducing us to “whywolves” (“Creatures possessed by the spirit of inquiry—and bloodlust!”), but they are not enough to completely save it from mediocrity. (2 stars)
Season 1, Episode 22. “Henchman” (692-021)
Airdate: August 23, 2010
Production Information: Luther McLaurin and Cole Sanchez (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: While “Evicted!” depicted Marceline as an apathetic asshole, “Henchman” starts to soften the vampire queen by showing that her evil exterior is an elaborate facade, and that deep down she is really just a prank-loving trickster—or, as Finn puts it, “a radical dame who likes to play games.” This might seem nothing more than a subtle tweak, but it does wonders for Marceline’s characterization; by episode’s end, as Finn and his vampiric “master” chat quite cheerfully in a field of strawberries, it is clear that the writers are setting up Marceline to become a legitimate pal to Finn and Jake, rather than just an avatar of chaos who drops in every once in awhile to shake things up. This was a wise decision, as it provided Marceline with the chance to grow into a hero in her own right with whom the audience can happily cheer along.
Since “Henchman” is predicated on Marceline pranking Finn, storyboard artists Luther McLaurin and Cole Sanchez have a great deal of fun mocking up outrageous scenarios that seem evil at first glance, but are revealed to be quite benign. Perhaps the funniest of these situations is Marceline raising an army of undead skeletons only to throw them a concert, and the vampire queen’s demand that Finn kill a little dimple-plant, which looks like a cutie before it turns into an Audrey II-esque abomination from John Carpenter’s darkest nightmares. (4 stars)
Season 1, Episode 23. “Rainy Day Daydream” (692-002)
Airdate: September 6, 2010
Production Information: Pendleton Ward (storyboard artist); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: “Rainy Day Daydream” is a beautiful representation of creativity in its purest form. Channeling his love of multilevel video games and Dungeons and Dragons, solo storyboard artist and series creator Pendleton Ward uses the pretext of Jake’s imagination affecting reality as an opportunity to bounce from one ridiculous plot point to another to great effect. The whole thing feels like an exercise in jovial spontaneity, and while “writing the story as you go” can sometime result in disjointed or sloppy final products, here Ward makes it work, using the approach to illustrate the almost limitless potential of imagination. Another strength of the episode is the way it throws dozens of ridiculous obstacles at Finn and Jake without the aid of equally ridiculous visuals; in fact, almost every hindrance in the episode is invisible to both Finn and the audience, and we only learn what is going on thanks to Jake’s narration. The fact that this approach works and is not boring is a testament to Ward’s skills as a storyteller and dialogue writer. (4.5 stars)
Season 1, Episode 24. “What Have You Done?” (692-027)
Airdate: September 13, 2010
Production Information: Elizabeth Ito and Adam Muto (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: In addition to providing us with another glimpse of Bubblegum’s dark side, “What Have You Done?” also serves as an interesting meditation on morality and preemptive punishment. As earlier episodes have confirmed, the Ice King is a creepy little deviant, but is it right for Finn and Jake to imprison him without a cause? This is a real legal question, and the show handles it in a surprisingly sophisticated way, concluding more or less that the writ of habeas corpus must be preserved. Of course, this is all undermined to some degree when we learn that the Ice King actually is to blame, but thanks to some quick thinking on the part of Finn, our heroes are able to save the day without having to turn to the carceral powers of the state. (And people say Adventure Time is not sophisticated...) (3 stars)
Season 1, Episode 25. “His Hero” (692-026)
Airdate: September 20, 2010
Production Information: Adam Muto, Kent Osborne, and Niki Yang (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: Who is the greatest hero ever? If you answered, “Finn!” it is obvious that you have yet to see “His Hero,” for the correct answer is Billy, of course! Lou Ferrigno guest stars in this episode as the aforementioned defender of Ooo, enlivening the character with his distinctive voice. As for the episode itself, storyboard artists Kent Osborne and Niki Yang—with an assist from the ever-dependable Adam Muto—produce some of their best work this season, filling each scene with witty dialogue and zany shenanigans. Arguably, the episode’s pièce de resistance is the short montage of Billy’s past achievements, which plays alongside a song, sung by Muto, extolling the hero’s greatness; energetic and wacky, the song in many ways typifies the “chaotic heroism” that defined the show’s first season.
Like many other first-season episodes, “His Hero” ends with a counterintuitive “anti-moral,” stressing that while a commitment to non-violence might seem subversive on the surface, it is actually an ineffective way to make the world a better place; instead, the episode argues that direct physical action—i.e., beating the snot out of monsters and bad guys—is necessary if heroes want to save people from oppression. This may all come across as contrarian silliness, but I would argue that it is profoundly radical, rejecting “common sense” ideals about peace that really only help those in positions of power. (Side note, if the kids who grew up watching Adventure Time turn into a bunch of revolutionaries, I think we will know the cause.) (4 stars)
Season 1, Episode 26. “Gut Grinder” (692-024)
Airdate: September 27, 2010
Production Information: Ako Castuera and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)
Commentary: Much like “Ricardio the Heart Guy,” this episode suffers due to a lack of a solid mystery; from the start, it seems obvious that Jake is not the one responsible for the robberies. Furthermore, the reveal that Sharon is the one behind the robberies comes with almost no dramatical weight, since we have no idea who she is. The whole thing is forgettable, which is a shame given that this is the season finale. (2 stars)
(Huge shout out to @sometipsygnostalgic for reading over these a few months ago and offering feedback. Also, I want to thank @j4gm for posting his “Slumber Party Panic” review, which made me remember these write-ups!)
#adventure time#atimers#season 1#season one#reviews#finn#jake#finn the human#jake the dog#marceline#pb#bubblegum#princess bubblegum#marceline the vampire queen#ice king#pen ward#pendleton ward
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
Qrowin Week 2021: 6/21-Childhood Friends AU
Two little snowbirds sitting in a row
They met in the garden at one of her father’s lavish parties. She’d gone outside because little girls didn’t like being told to sit still and not talk nor do anything fun, so she decided she didn’t care if the dress daddy bought her got messy, she’d go outside and spend time in the hedge maze.
They’d gotten it installed, in the shape of the Schnee family crest no less, because the Marigolds had one in the shape of their family crest and daddy could be silly about when people had things he didn’t.
The white roses that grew from the foliage walls, fragrant and delicate, were always calming to her, especially on a cool and cloudless night like this when the moonlight was at its brightest.
For Winter, to get lost in its lush corridors and marble statuary, it’s hidden gardens and fountains would be enough to get the annoyance of her father’s party out of her mind.
Most of that went out of her head when she found a grungy boy in a cape stuffing his face with what looked like a rabbit.
He stared at her, like an animal in a vehicle’s headlights, bits of his meal hanging from his mouth.
He couldn’t be older than her, gaunt with gunsmoke-colored hair stuck up at odd angles and eyes like carbuncles.
The clothes he wore were grubby and layered and obviously used long before he’d begun wearing them, especially that tattered cape.
For a moment, neither spoke, merely staring at one another in the moonlight.
Finally, Winter broke the silence.
“That’s disgusting.”
The boy dropped the rabbit from his mouth.
“Sorry if I’m not fancy enough for you, Miss Uppity.”
Winter felt her cheeks heat with indignation.
“How dare you!”
The boy threw back his head and laughed, a sound that reminded Winter of a pair of birds she’d once heard fighting in the yard.
“Is that all it takes to get under that pale skin!” he laughed, a sound which soon died in his throat when his stomach made a loud groan.
Winter huffed as he reached for the dead rabbit.
“Wait here and don’t touch that,” she said, turning on her heel.
She returned with two plates piled high with hors d'oeuvres.
“I didn’t know what you liked,” she said, handing him one, “so I got you one of everything.”
The boy said nothing, just shoveling food into his mouth in a way that probably promoted choking.
“You’re welcome,” Winter said, sitting down and spearing a piece of salmon on a toothpick to eat.
The boy coughed, pounding his chest.
“You shouldn’t eat so fast,” Winter said, “you’ll get sick.”
“Well, some of us don’t know when our next meal is gonna be,” he said.
His words brought back to Winter the memory of her father sending her to bed with no supper when he found she’d invited a faunus over to play, with threats of no breakfast if she didn’t break it off with the girl tomorrow.
“You might be surprised,” Winter said.
The boy said something through a mouthful of hummace.
“What was that?” Winter asked.
The boy swallowed.
“I’m Qrow,” he said.
Winter smiled.
“I’m Winter.”
One named Winter
She saw him on days when it wasn’t raining or snowing after that. The family he lived with (his “Tribe” as he called them) were camped out in the woods behind their house, the ones nobody would let daddy cut down.
At night, he told her, they danced and played instruments and drank until the early hours of the morning.
Winter never really cared for people who drank (her mother’s growing dependence on liquor was a factor in this) but Qrow never really showed up smelling like wine, so she supposed associating with him was no trouble.
It was also refreshing that he never stood on ceremony.
He never rolled his eyes at her when she spoke of wanting to learn fencing or told her how things were supposed to be when she complained about how someone (usually daddy) was being unfair.
He also taught her new games that were much more fun than anything that the boys and girls daddy introduced her knew.
Kick the can, stickball, and he played hide and seek and tag with her. And he’d tell her all about the places he’d been. Mistral, Vacuo, Menagerie, his tribe had traveled all over Remnant.
And while he could be crass, she still remembered seeing the way he rescued a baby bird from a stray cat and returning it to its nest with the tenderest care.
Or how when she complained of how her father was so bossy and so dumb, that he listened. Didn’t judge, didn’t criticize, just listen.
And sometimes, it was enough to know that they’d meet once a week, at night, in the hedge maze.
One named Qrow
She wasn’t what he expected.
Sure, she told him annoying things like “don’t slouch, eat slower, no burping, don’t pull up the flowers—no! I don’t need them, put them back!”
But she never called him weak. She never said he should practice more like his sister did.
Winter gave him food, and listened to his stories and ideas, and never asked if he wanted to fight. Sometimes, they would even just sit together.
She even taught him how to read; starting with big letters scratched in the dirt with a stick, before lending him books that they could read together.
Mr. Bruin is a Shoe-in was the first he read all by himself. And he was so happy when she let him keep it afterwards.
And she never told him to stop being so dumb, like his sister did.
And sometimes, it was enough to know that they’d meet once a week, at night, in the hedge maze.
Fly away, Winter!
Their shouts bring the servants running. All they saw was Winter on her knees, face in her hands as she wept piteously.
If only they’d come a few minutes earlier, then they could have seen the argument in all it’s glory. Voices rough from the volume and occasionally cracking, tears streaming down their faces, they weren’t that little boy and girl anymore.
He’d grown lanky and lean, she taller and with longer hair.
But they didn’t care right then.
She’d told him she was joining the military.
He said his tribe would be moving and asked if she wanted to join them instead of some stupid army.
She said it was a noble profession.
He said only for assholes.
She defended her position.
He reiterated his opinion.
She shouted at him, asking why couldn’t he be happy for her.
He shouted at her what would be wrong with going with him.
She said something about duty.
He told her to shut up, that he didn’t want to hear duty again in his whole life.
She told him that if he was going to act like a filthy little boy, then he could go off and sulk like one.
He said he wished he’d never met her and hoped she enjoyed killing people.
Arguments like that, they learned, ended with no winners.
Fly away, Qrow!
That was the end of the time Qrow considered himself happy. Life seemed to plan for him a long drawn out death, bracketed with disappointments and tragedy’s.
Transformation
The death of friends.
The death of family.
The horrors of war.
Secrets and betrayal.
Abandonment.
And the drink
So, so much to drink.
It didn’t fix anything. It didn’t make him feel more human. But it kept the nightmares at bay. It kept him as a predictable disappointment rather than an out-of-the-blue-never-seen-that-kind-of-train-wreck-before disappointment.
But the worst part of the drink, thought, was that no matter how many shots he took, no matter how many chasers. Black liquor, brown liquor, red wine, white wine, it didn’t matter. Melancholy brought back visions of that girl from that time he had been happy.
Come back, Winter!
First impressions had never come easy to Qrow. So really, it should be no surprise that impression number 15 the horrible sequel nobody wanted or needed.
But really, denying common sense by chucking an empty whisky bottle at James Ironwood’s head was not only pointless, it was utterly puerile. He was drunk. He was upset that his latest search for intel on Salem had turned up next to nothing, he was itching for a fight and if that pompous wannabe hero wanted to take it up with him, that was fine.
Except he hadn’t expected the woman by his side to turn out to be someone familiar. Someone he hadn’t seen since he was a dumb, romantic, fifteen-year-old kid.
Someone whose reappearance upset his stomach enough that he emptied it onto the general’s uniform and shoes. With enough force to make his eyes water.
The woman in the Atlesian uniform said she would take care of him and asked another girl, another white haired girl, where their room was.
As they walked towards Beacon, he thought he heard her say “Qrow Branwen, what has the world done to you?”
Come back, Qrow!
Qrow awoke to a cold rag on his forehead.
“Lie still,” she said, “I think you got a hold of some rockgut.”
“More like rockgut got a hold of me.”
Qrow’s attempt at humor was met with a scowl.
“Gee, you got frosty.”
“And you became an alcoholic,” she said, wringing out the cloth into a nearby basin.
Qrow looked away from her and to the wall, as if a better retort than her’s existed there.
“It eases the pain,” he said.
“No it doesn’t,” Winter said. She threw the rag into the basin, causing the water to splash.
“Qrow, my mother is an alcoholic. It doesn’t fix anything! It just makes you want more of what’s essentially fermented grass!”
“You don’t think I know that!” Qrow snapped. Tears pricked at his eyes and his heart sank when he saw the hurt in her eyes from his tone, something he hadn’t seen there since their last meeting.
“There are nights when no matter how much I drink, I still can’t forget the loss of all the people around me and how--”
He paused and swallowed.
“How everyone is just one day going to leave me!”
Tears were starting to fall as all the regrets he’d kept at bay with drink and fighting and everythng else he could find came rushing back into him and coiling around his lungs.
“I’m bad luck, Winter,” he said, “I lost my sister, my tribe, I lost the people I care about, and every day, it’s missions, missions, and missions to find an enemy I don’t even know exists.”
His shoulders were shaking and he remembered his sister, back when they were little, telling him how ‘boys don’t cry.’
God, Winter must think he’s so pathetic.
Instead, she took him by the shoulders and gently brought him into her embrace.
“It’s alright,” she said, “just let it out. Get it all out.”
Not knowing what else to do, Qrow gripped the back of her uniform and sobbed into her shoulder, years’ worth of pain and loneliness deep inside him rising to the surface and finally escaping. And the pressure went with it.
At some point, they ended up lying together on the bed (wait, were they in a bunk bed?), still in each other’s arms.
“We all have regrets,” Winter said, “things we said. Things we wish we could take back.”
Her hand tightens on his shirt and his hand closes around it.
“But, if you really want to know, if I could do it over...”
Please say it, he wanted to think, but every time he had thoughts like that, life saw fit to swat him down again.
“I would go with you. Even if after the first day, I went back home, I think I would go with you.”
Qrow felt his heart swell and suddenly, he didn’t feel so sick anymore.
“And... if you wanted to start over... I would like that too.”
“I still have Mr. Bruin,” Qrow said.
He didn’t know why he said that. She never asked about the book, never said “Qrow, what kind of literature do you normally read?”
Whatever the reason, Winter looked up at him, shocked.
“Still? I thought you would’ve thrown that away.”
Qrow looked down at her, eyes glassy.
“I tried a few times. But I just couldn’t get rid of something that reminded me of you. It’s missing the page where Mr. Bruin loses his boot, but I tried to keep it safe.”
Winter’s hand rises to his cheek and Qrow leans into it, the human contact easing the hole in his soul he’s tried to fill with booze.
“I’m sorry I didn’t turn out as someone you could be proud of.”
“The fact that you kept that book tells me everything I need to know.”
Later that night, Winter’s sister and Qrow’s niece would get the shock of their lives when they enetered their room and saw the two of them sleeping on Weiss’s bed together.
#My Writing#RWBY#qrowin week 2021#qrowinfest#qrowin#qrowinweek#Childhood friend AU#AU#Qrow Branwen#Winter Schnee
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am just...honestly fascinated by this sudden ‘change of heart’ with Guillermo tho in regards to being a familiar and becoming a vampire, there’s a lot going on there and a lot to unpack, and I’m hoping somewhere in the depths of what is about to be a long, directionless rant I’ll find the clarity I haven’t seemed to quite grasp yet.
ALSO I’M SORRY THIS IS A LOOONG ASS POST BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO PUT IT UNDER A READ MORE AND SUBJECT INNOCENTS TO MY BLOG LOL, BUT I’VE TAGGED ACCORDINGLY
So, I already made a post about ‘Collaboration’ and some of the interesting subtext we get within that episode. Mainly, that this episode is an interesting one for Guillermo because he finally gets what appears to be and should be (at least at first) the opportunity he’s always been waiting for. To this point, across seasons, Guillermo has driven home that his one and only aspiration in life, the reason he tolerates an endless, shitty position, is because he hopes to become a vampire. He’s wanted it since he was a kid. IF HE CAN’T BECOME A VAMPIRE, WHAT HAS THIS ALL BEEN ABOUT??
If it was as simple as just wanting to become a vampire by any means necessary, leaving Nandor for this golden opportunity should have been as easy as taking off an ill-fitting pair of shoes...but it wasn’t that, was it? When Nandor pretended to shuck him off as if it didn’t matter, Guillermo got angry and sad in equal measure and only really brightened again when Nandor came back and promised to do better by him. Not necessarily set down a concrete timeline for the ‘becoming a vampire’ thing though, but Guillermo didn’t seem to care about that all that much anyway. Interesting.
Now we’re able to see a version of things in which Guillermo is being treated better as a familiar, but rather than this development improving his mood he seems all the more aware of the fact now that...maybe he doesn’t even want to be a vampire anymore. Maybe he’s wasting his time here. Maybe he needs to swim towards open waters, so to speak.
Very similar to Nandor, Guillermo, I think, is not really aware or fully accepting of the inner workings of his own mind. He strikes me as a character that does a lot in the way of burying the truths of himself so far down, he even convinces himself that part of who he is doesn’t really exist- even when it does, and drives a lot of his actions. The show plays to this by only ‘showing’ us concretely how much Guillermo wants us to know, with only small hints and nods to other things going on. That fits and rings true to the norm for a mockumentary style of filming/writing, in that the audience has to rely on a lot of subtle cues from the subjects to figure out what’s ‘really going on’ with a character or plot line; the ‘camera’ in a mockumentary style piece is as much of a visceral, present character as anyone else in the cast and is treated accordingly (but then, like 99.99999% of human beings have seen the entirety of The Office and Parks and Rec, so yall know this already)
I think part of the way to figuring this all out is to ask why Guillermo wanted to be a vampire in the first place. His answer to this would probably be something along the lines of ‘because they’re cool’ which, you know, valid. That would be a fitting and satisfying answer if, say, I had given it because there was a time when I was about 4-6 years old that I, too, decided I would grow up to be a vampire. Because it was ‘cool’ and aspiring to anything else seemed boring. Again, valid. For someone who has dedicated pretty much ALL of his adult life to apprenticing into vampirism based on a childhood dream that never died? THAT begs a bit more of an in depth reason, I think, to which for now we can only guess.
I’ll try to make an educated one based on what I believe is going on here, that Guillermo himself is either not aware of or not ready to share with the cameras: I believe his drive to want to become a vampire, given it was based in childhood flights of fancy (and probably some Guillermo-self insert/Armand fanfics, let’s be hONEST) was rooted in a need to feel respected and powerful, at the heart of things. When we first meet Guillermo, and for much of season 1, we see that he’s quiet, subservient, meek, and we learn briefly about how he was bullied in school. I think Guillermo was raised to be this way and use silence/subservience as his only defense mechanism, which may also go a long way to explaining why he’s so reserved. For 10 years, I think it was enough for him to tell himself that everything would be better for him once he became a vampire, he’d have all the things he never had as a human. Respect. Appreciation. Power. Control over his own life.
That said, things have changed quite a bit for Guillermo since season one. While learning that he had Van Helsing blood came as an unpleasant shock, embracing and exploring that side of himself proved that he’s actually kind of a bad ass even without being a vampire. He only ever wielded this power to protect Nandor and others so far, but it is a power nonetheless, this agility and strength that is too great for even VAMPIRES to successfully fight back against. He’s also a smart cookie that knows how to manipulate a situation, something that he’s been using a lot this season too. So, power, then. He has it already. Respect he received from his vampire-hunting group.
But that still leaves appreciation and, dare I say it, maybe even affection/love. I think there’s a part of Guillermo that wants to feel like he’s accepted and cared for, but even when it’s offered (by groups like his vampire hunting clan, or Celeste’s vampire community lol) he seems to shy away from it going too far, like it’s just too much or ill-fitting coming from people he barely knows. Given that he’s a private, introvert type this makes sense.
One thing has remained consistent for Guillermo though, across both seasons and episodes, and that’s his seemingly unwavering concern and affection for Nandor. Even in this last ep when he’s unashamedly shucking off duties that don’t fit his job description and maintaining those professional boundaries like a BOSS, he still snaps to and gets to work the moment Nandor is kidnapped. Laszlo’s gone? Meh, who cares, not his jurisdiction. Nandor’s gone!?? Fuck it, he’s getting the keys. A ‘vampire’ offers him the opportunity of a lifetime to become a vampire quickly and live within an accepting community of likeminded people and Nandor told him ‘go for it’? He’s upset that Nandor didn’t fight harder to keep him.
So now he’s back and Nandor’s making a consistent effort not to abuse Guillermo’s position. This seemed the ideal resolution at the end of ‘Collaboration’, but after a couple of weeks it becomes clear that it wasn’t. For some reason. Guillermo’s no longer satisfied and thinks maybe it’s time to do more with his life.
I’ll try to sum up the points I’ve made so far into a concise version of where I think Guillermo’s at right now, at least subconsciously; mostly all the things he hoped that turning into a vampire would grant him, have already been granted. He’s learned that he’s strong, smart, capable as is, more than he or anyone else had ever given him credit for. I think it makes sense that his burning need to become a vampire has begun to ebb into a quarter-life crisis of questioning who he really is and what he really wants, because the dream he nursed for so long has turned out to be pretty shallow and maybe not even necessary. He realizes there’s more he could be doing than working tirelessly to an end goal that no longer seems so sweet.
But that leaves the ‘affection’ and ‘acceptance’ elements dangling in space, held up by his own affection for Nandor that has yet to be really defined. It’s pretty clear that Guillermo is nursing it hard, but what is the nature of it? Even as his sense of loyal devotion to a cause has started to fade, even as his view of Nandor as this unflappable role model has begun to disappear too bc he’s starting to see Nandor for who he really is (a himbo idiot that he can outwit, outmatch without even trying hard) this raw affection still remains. It’s still important that Nandor fights for him. It’s still important that Nandor is safe and protected.
And, as with the rest of these things I mentioned, I don’t think Guillermo is even really aware of how much he cares about Nandor, how much it drives his actions and thinking, how important that relationship is to him. It’s easier to just sort of...ignore that and pretend it isn’t a factor, that’s Guillermo’s modus operandi when it comes to complicated feelings.
I think back to that line from season 1, wherein Guillermo’s kind of musing wistfully about how different his life might have been if he’d stayed at Panera Bread/in a stable job with pay and benefits, but then handwaves that all away with ‘The heart wants what it wants’. By this point in the show he was already kind of drifting away from the goal of becoming a vampire (whether he realized it or not).
The heart wants what it wants indeed, Guillermo, but maybe it’s not really ‘becoming a vampire’. Maybe it’s something else entirely that keeps you tied to this house, this thankless ‘job’.
At this point, I really cannot say for 100% certain what I think will happen next with Guillermo. This show has proven solid at pulling out unexpected plot twists I wouldn’t have seen coming, but then, I also have been pretty good at predicting where they’re gonna go with things. Like 7/10 lmao. My two theories right now are:
He’ll become a vampire in the series finale- unwillingly, maybe by accident. This one I think is plausible because it’s a bit of a kick in the pants. It’s the outcome he’s wanted for SO LONG but has just realized maybe it’s not all he can do or wants to do. I could see a situation where, idk, maybe Guillermo expresses to Nandor his thoughts lately about moving on from this and, in an act of stupid desperation, Nandor thinks maybe if he changes him that’ll keep him in his life, so he does it while Guillermo’s asleep and then surprises him when he wakes up...only to find out maybe that wasn’t actually what he wanted anymore, but UH OH what’s done is done. This could provide a lot of tension in the next season, I think. But as it’s a bit of a ‘shocking’ twist type route to go, I can’t be certain this is what they’ll do. Kind of a toss up.
Guillermo leaves to pursue something else, which the camera crew will follow and document. This is the ‘sensible’/’safe’ route that most scripted shows would take, I think, in this situation...but again, I’m not certain about this one either because Shadows is known for throwing us for a loop and this seems a liiiittle predictable. It’s also very similar to what JUST happened in episode 8 and, were I writing the show, I’d worry it would come across as redundant. Like, maybe we already did this angle and should explore other options to keep the audience on their toes. Also, as much as they love putting Harvey with new casts of characters for episodic stories, I’m not sure they’d transplant him from the main cast for an extended period of time because he’s part of what makes that dynamic run so well. But then, the synopsis of the finale does say that vampires have to ‘survive without Guillermo’ while preparing for an event, so this may happen in some small, episodic measure again.
Anyway, to wrap this up into a conclusion, I don’t think I’m wrong in predicting that Nandor/Guillermo’s relationship has been set up in such a way as to keep us guessing, sort of a Sam/Diane, will-they-won’t-they type thing that will remain a constant throughout whatever happens next, but will require both characters growing independent of each other in their own respective subplots. At this point, it has always remained consistent that Nandor and Guillermo prioritize each other even when it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t think either of them are ready to realize, accept, and sort through the layers of what they feel for each other. The master/servant dynamic makes that difficult, I’d imagine, so I think inevitably we’ll see the show start to pull them away from that. All I’m saying is, if whatever is going on between them wasn’t VERY complicated it would’ve been resolved as whatever it is a long time ago. Nah, there’s some deep, repressed shit they’re ignoring collectively for whatever reason, and usually that points to something that will, at some point, become romantic. Either way, to understand Guillermo is to keep a close eye on how his dynamic with Nandor grows and changes and I’m, as ever, VERY eager to see how it does.
#guillermo de la cruz#nandor x guillermo#guillermo x nandor#wwdits#what we do in the shadows tv show#long post#meta
194 notes
·
View notes
Text
“(As of today October 5th 2020), I was gonna do another The Week In Tory but, try as I might, I could not find a thing they’d done wrong since Friday.
No corruption. No ineptitude. No lies. No hypocrisy. Just a solid 96 hours of honest, decent and reliable governance.
Only kidding: it’s an absolute shit-show...
1. A report found the “Eat Out To Help Out” scheme cost £500m and didn’t do a single thing to improve the economy of the UK’s hospitality sector
However, it did help to double the number of infections, although they forgot how to count, so didn't notice
2. As infections spiked, the government briefly woke up and introduced local lockdowns
But predictably, the local councils responsible for implementing the new plans were given literally (not making this up) 5 minutes warning and no additional resources whatsoever
3. It was revealed absolutely not a single penny of the £1.58bn “Arts Rescue Plan” announced to great fanfare in July has actually been handed out to the artists or venues relying on it
So unsurprisingly, the country’s largest cinema chain had to close, costing 5,500 jobs
But thankfully Work and Pensions Minister Thérèse Coffey was on hand to reassuringly tell them they can all become Care Workers with "very little training" (I'm sure nursing is a doddle)
Slight problem: in June the government froze millions in funding for training care workers
But it’ll be fine, won’t it? I mean, who needs to train care workers? We have plenty, don't we? Oh, hold on: this week it was revealed care workers are caring for 2,400 families each, which is 10x the recommended number
4. Good News for UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson, as a poll of Tory Members found they think Gavin Williamson is even shitter than the Prime Minister.
Bad News: they think every other Conservative MP is better than the PM, and only 28% of them think he’s up to the job. And that’s his fan-club.
5. So UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson went on a charm offensive (and did both), and promised to build 40 new hospitals
Seemingly he had forgotten – or hoped we had – that he also promised to build 40 new hospitals a year ago, and then … how can I put this? … didn’t
The 40 new hospitals have £3.7bn budget
Unfortunately, 40 new hospitals would cost at least £24bn
And there's backlog of £6bn in maintenance and repairs, so the day it was launched the “new hospital fund” was £2.3bn short of building a single Lego Hospital
6. Last week Boris Johnson said the Covid rules were simple, then forgot them, then said they were complicated, then said he’d fine people breaking them, then didn’t fine his own dad
This week his own dad broke the rules for a second time and [tumbleweed]
So 6 days after the PM went on TV to assure us the lockdown rules were simple, the govt has announced it will announce some simplified rules. But not yet. Soon. In a bit. First we need another few levels of announcements about announcements, because there’s no rush fellas.
7. I always try to find a supportive and approving quote about Boris Johnson from an star-struck anonymous Tory MP: this week, I have an embarrassment of riches
“It’s like ‘carry on coronavirus’, with Boris as Sid James and Matt Hancock as Kenneth Williams”
“I find myself bewildered at the clownish lack of professionalism in Downing St”
“If you drop something which is entirely ornamental [meaning Boris] it tends to lose its appeal”
“We’ve gone from eat out to help out, to drink up and piss off”
8. The Tories called loudly for the firing of the SNP’s Margaret Ferrier for travelling by train after being found positive for Covid
No word yet about them calling for the removal Tory MP Peter Gibson, who travelled 250 miles by train with Covid symptoms
Peter Gibson is part of the new “Red Wall” intake of Tory MPs, so presumably was keen to return to his constituency to inform them that 1/3 of them would be £1000 a year worse off due to government cuts
9. It was revealed that 5 years after Tories pledged to end money laundering with the announcement “there is no place for dirty money in Britain”, absolutely no action has yet been taken, and the legislation has been gathering dust since 2015
10. But thankfully, non-corrupt ministers like Robert Jenrick, who takes “donations” (which are apparently different from bribes) from housing companies, are still doing the right thing, such as unlawfully overruling his own officials to grant a £50m tax saving to a donor
And a legal challenge was launched over a £580k contract to friends of Dominic Cummings, with no competitive tendering
Oh, and Health Secretary Matt Hancock takes “donations” from the horse-racing fraternity, and excluded the highly profitable Cheltenham Festival from the lockdown
The former Chief Scientific Advisor said Cheltenham Festival “probably helped to accelerate the spread” of coronavirus
11. Not that we’d know, because it appears a mere 227 days after the first case, the govt still hasn’t learned to import data into an Excel Spreadsheet
Any IT manager would tell you Excel is not the way to store the data of up to 67 million people – it is spreadsheet software for a max of 1 million records
16,000 tests were lost, and over 50,000 potentially infectious people may have been missed by contact tracers
12. On 2nd June, Boris Johnson announced he would take “direct control” of Covid
So 125 days later, he couldn’t tell us the social distancing rules, how many records had been lost, or explain why 4 different lockdown regimes exist in Greater Manchester alone
13. But human spork Health Secretary Matt Hancock rushed out to say NHS Test and Trace are working hard, neglecting to mention the slightly awkward truth that NHS Test and Trace is not run by the NHS, but by a private business under the guidance of the effortlessly terrible Dido Harding
Highly effective private business Serco do our contact tracing, which is why some of its tracing staff report being so under-occupied they have managed to watch 3 entire series of The Good Place and play computer games all day for months, while 60,000 Britons died
14. I have no idea if the Queen has noticed her government’s honesty, but this week she said “having trusted, reliable sources of information is vital”
We enter flu season under a government you can trust, but who accidentally failed to send the flu vaccine to GPs for over a month
15. And the average hours for teachers increased from 53 to 70 hours per week, as they attempt to cope with endlessly shifting instructions
Teachers are also having to be cleaners in schools, as there is no additional money for adaptations to keep staff and students safe
16. As the government prepares for 4 million unemployed in 2021, Treasury Secretary Rishi Sunak said he would introduce “job coaches”, and said 4 million of us being coached for *up to* 2 hours to do jobs that don’t exist would be “the first time that people will realise government could be helpful”
17. A report found “trust between ministers and staff is being severely eroded” by a 7-month delay in the bullying inquiry into Home Secretary and horcrux, Priti Patel
She then made a speech in which she voluntarily opted to define herself as opposite to those who “do good”
18. Possibly to distract from this, health minister Lord Bethell rushed out to claim Covid 19 would make us as proud as the Olympics
Covid 19 has killed about as many as you can fit into an Olympic Stadium, so maybe that’s what he meant
A quick detour into the magical, spinning world of gaffe-hamster Lord Bethell: last week he tried to distract from govt student cockups by claiming Covid 19 was predominantly caused by “late-night intimacy” and not by, for example, failing to trace infections
Earlier, Bethell tried to distract from govt A-Level cockups by claiming him failing A-Levels didn’t prevent him hustling to his lofty position (momentarily forgetting the hustling assistance he gained when his dad, the 4th Lord Bethell, hustled his way into a grave)
19. And finally, in an image that will haunt you, Health Secretary Matt Hancock announced he would only snitch on his neighbours if he was “watching them having an Animal House-style hot tub party”. Watching. He said watching. Matt Hancock. Watching.“-Russ
#life#real life#politics#uk politics#uk#coronavirus#uk government#conservative#boris johnson#uk deep recession#uklockdown#uk coronavirus#uk jobs#coronavirus uk#uk lockdown#uk news#trumpism#uk coronavirus lockdown#uk coronavirus cases#uk coronavirus news#uk covid hit workers#coronavirus nhs#coronavirus death toll#prime minister#member of parliament#corruption#in summary#for reference#worldpolitics#house of lords
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
zukka hp au part 5
I’m so flattered people like this au. I didn’t think I’d be posting again so soon, but I had some more ideas last night. If you’d like to catch up:
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13
If you would like to join the tag list
My brief, very long, not at all fleshed out plan based roughly on what year Sokka is in and other associated events:
First year
Sokka’s first year is boring
He meets Zuko, makes some friends in his house, probably a bunch of OCs
He finds the kitchens on day 2
Hogwarts just hires people who like to cook, who cares whether they’re magical beings or humans or whatever, there’s all sorts of really cool kitchen magic though
He’s always asking questions in class and you can tell why he’s a Ravenclaw
He wants to learn about everything
And once he knows how to do more than shoot a few sparks, he’s going to start inventing
He’s going to do some truly awesome things with transfiguration and potions
And I can’t wait for him to start arithmancy
Like let me tell you, Sokka is a genius, and he’s probably going to be the only one who understands magical theory
This just ended up being a rant about Sokka, so moving on
Second year
The fun starts
Katara and Aang are finally here
Sokka doesn’t know Aang is the avatar
I’m very tempted to have both Katara and Aang be in Hufflepuff
And they run into Sokka in the kitchens
He does a double take, like who is this boy with my sister??
But Aang’s a sweet kid
So Sokka is immediately like we’re bros now, I don’t make the rules
Iroh starts working at Hogwarts (sorry, I changed my mind from herbology) as the potions professor
He comes in on the train with Zuko who just got banished (I actually...might change the specifics)
Sokka doesn’t know what to make of that
Azula is also skulking around annoying Zuzu
But I think she secretly cares a bit and threatens anyone that looks at his scar wrong, because Zuko helped her a lot with some stuff
I think she’s going to be in the same year as Katara and Aang? I’m not sure
I have plans for Azula
I think Mai and Ty Lee are going to be in Zuko’s year, but closer to Azula
Mai and Zuko will date at some point
I think Mai will end up with Ty Lee
But she and Zuko had a short relationship
I think it was more expected of them by their families that they date
But they’re good friends now
I’m not doing this betraying and cheating and hurting other characters to find out who you are thing
Everyone is having wholesome relationships that just don’t work out
(Sidenote, I’m changing things, and characters might end up a bit OOC for atla, and I’m really sorry, but this is just wish fulfillment for me)
Anyway, there’s a plot to find the avatar
The mini gaang (toph isn’t here yet) learn the prophecy (still working on it)
Third year
They find out about Sokka and Katara’s mom
I don’t think Hakoda really knows what happened either. I don’t think he was in the country at the time
I also have some ideas for the water tribe/fire nation beef, but I just made the realization that if I spell everything out in these posts, what’s the point of writing for Ao3 XD
But spoilers, it’s going to be pretty angsty
But I like happy endings, so I may find a way to fix it
Ish
I have this whole idea that if Suki or the Kyoshi are also werewolves, they have really cool rituals to respect and honor the moon spirit and that allows them the ability to turn into wolves whenever they want and not just the full moon
So other people can also be born as werewolves, but different groups have different ways of being a werewolf
Also, I believe I said Zuko starts following Suki around thinking she’s the avatar
And then Sokka decides to fake being the avatar (I completely forgot when I said this would happen, so I’m assuming it’s this year or the next)
This is about when Sokka’s letters to Hakoda start going on about Zuko’s everything even more
Fourth year
Zuko (Zuko’s fifth year) witnesses something unspeakable
Sokka is kidnapped
Zuko saves Sokka
That’s all the detail I have on this XD
But the unspeakable thing and the kidnapping are going to be this year’s mystery
Zuko, the idiot, still thinks Sokka is the avatar at this point
Aang is like no
But doesn’t bother to say he is
So Zuko thinks Katara is the avatar for a hot sec
But has some nonsense logic that there’s no need to stop following Sokka, because if he or his sister are the avatar, of the two, Sokka’s more likely to give something away
Which okay, Zuko, not actually terrible reasoning, except Sokka’s been leading you around by the nose for ages
There’s none of this the avatar rotates which element they can use
Because that’s predictable
And half the fun is that Zuko is trying his best, but has zero clues
Fifth year
This is the big question
I’m not sure what to do with this year
I hope Sokka can start inventing
I want him to make some cool shit
There won’t be an equivalent of the DA as far as I can see :( I can’t figure out how I’d structure that
I think it would be really cool to see them all learning how to use their elemental magic though
Toph and Zuko don’t really need the help
Katara and Aang have always had to deal with all the crap going on, so they haven’t had much time for it
I’m wondering if I should bring in Paku
Aang has it rough, because air magic users are really rare now
So I think he might work with Iroh, because he’s studied other styles of magic extensively
Sixth year
I think Mai had to figure out she was bi
I truly think Zuko doesn’t have time for gender
For like five years, he’s like DO YOU KNOW WHO THE AVATAR IS and if you don’t, he’s already forgotten who you are
So my headcanon is that he’s pan and when he and Sokka eventually get together, Sokka doesn’t know anything about his orientation and just knows he dated Mai, so he’s like “are you cool with me being a dude? Sorry, I just know you’ve dated Mai, so just checking haha?”
And Zuko’s so done with all the random crap he’s dealt with that he’s like “wow, you have a dick? Congratulations”
But then realizes Sokka’s actually concerned and talks it out
Anyway, everyone’s leveled up now, we’re all masters at elemental and non-elemental magic (seriously, Sokka could’ve sat for his NEWTs last year if he wanted to. He’s that far ahead and magic is that intuitive for him)
I have no idea what will happen this year lol
I kind of want an invasion of Hogwarts, I know I’ve been trying not to just blindly follow the books completely :/ So I guess we’ll see?
I’ll have to work on that
I’m such a sucker for the villain waits until the end of the school year to attack
Because it’s so dumb
Like I will find the avatar! *shakes fist* But education is important, kids
Like okay, Sozin
Maybe I can have Roku finally escape that mirror
I kind of want the past avatars to be spirits that anyone can interact with
But most people don’t know how
So the Kyoshi can interact with Avatar Kyoshi as well as other relevant spirits
Seventh year
????
The plot?? Who knows yet
I do know that Zuko’s graduated
And they’re all crying and like wtf do we do now
Because Sozin’s still around and they’ll miss him
And finally Zuko leaves
And he shows up as the assistant DADA professor and he’s like “Hi, Zuko here” and then he’s like “I mean, fuck, Professor Zuko, I mean, fuck...just call me Zuko. You guys all know me”
And the gaang is all like wtf Zuko, we thought we would only see you for breaks
And he’s like you really thought I’d leave you
The plan is that he’ll be an apprentice for a year or so and then take over as professor
Toph punches him so hard, Katara has to heal the bruise
I can guarantee a happy ending
I’ll do whatever angst on the way, but they’ll all be happy
I’m like 89% sure they’re all going to end up working at or around Hogwarts (why work for the government, when you can invest in teaching all these talented kids)
One more thing, there is going to be rep in this au. I know there’s at least one aro ace character. Multiple bi characters. One gay character. One pan character. One trans character that I know of, but I need to plan that out a bit more. Some of these orientations and identities, I can’t speak to personally. For instance, while I know a decent amount about the medical aspects of transitioning, I don’t think I’d be able to write the experience of gender dysphoria and give that its due right now. So unless it’s something I have first hand experience with, most of the individual emotions as part of figuring things out might happen off screen. That doesn’t mean I won’t bring up issues the characters may have had in the past, but any that I talk about, I’d have to do more research into first. Also, partly because this is mostly from Sokka and Zuko’s perspectives, we’re mostly going to be present for what other characters tell them about their experiences
I hope you continue to enjoy this au! Sorry, this got so insanely long. The next couple weeks are going to be a bit crazy for me, so I thought I’d write this up while I had the chance. I’ll be back soon though! If anyone has any suggestions or questions, please let me know :)
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13
If you would like to join the tag list
#zukka#hp au#part 5#atla au#atla#zuko#aang#sokka#toph#katara#azula#sorry this is so long#next ones will be shorter#maybe#lgbt rep#next up is magical theory#i hope i can make this a fic
93 notes
·
View notes
Link
For millennia the family has stood as the central institution of society—often changing, but always essential. But across the world, from China to North America, and particularly in Europe, family ties are weakening, with the potential to undermine one of the last few precious bits of privacy and intimacy.
Margaret Mead once said, “no matter how many communes anyone invents, the family always creeps back.” But today’s trajectory is not promising. Even before the Covid-19 pandemic, family formation and birth rates were declining throughout much of the world, not just in most of the West and East Asia, but also in parts of South American and the Middle East.
The ongoing pandemic appears to be driving birth rates globally down even further, and the longer it lasts, the greater possibility that familial implosion will get far worse, and perhaps intractable. Brookings predicts that COVID will result in 300,000 to 500,000 fewer U.S. births in 2021. Marriage rates have dropped significantly to 35 year lows.
…
These predictions turned out to be vastly exaggerated, with a rapid decline in global hunger. The anticipated population explosion is morphing into something more like an implosion, with much of the world now facing population stagnation, and even contraction. As birth rates have dropped, the only thing holding up population figures in many places is longer lifespans, though recent data suggests these may be getting shorter again .
These trends can be felt in the United States, where the birthrate is sinking. U.S. population growth among the cohort aged between 16 and 64 has dropped from 20 percent in the 1980s to less than 5 percent in the last decade. This is particularly bad for the future of an economy dependent on new workers and consumers.
This demographic transition is even more marked in Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, and much of Europe, where finding younger workers is becoming a major problem for employers and could result in higher costs or increased movement of jobs to more fecund countries. As the employment base shrinks, some countries, such as Germany, have raised taxes on the existing labor force to pay for the swelling ranks of retirees.
Similar patterns can be seen in China. Expanding workforces like China’s—which grew by 380 million between 1980 and 2012—drove a world-shattering economic boom. Now, this resource is already in peril; birthrates have cratered to historic lows. China’s working-age population (those between 15 and 64 years old) peaked in 2011 and is projected to drop 23 percent by 2050. This plunge will be exacerbated by the effects of the now discarded one-child policy, which led to the aborting of an estimated 37 million Chinese girls since it came into effect in 1980. By 2050, China is projected to have 60 million fewer people under age fifteen, a loss approximately the size of Italy’s total population. The ratio of retirees to working people is expected to have more than tripled by then, which would be one of the most rapid demographic shifts in history, and by 2050 will be roughly 20 percent higher than that of the U.S.
…
Today’s demographic stagnation represents a throwback to earlier times. After the relative buoyant growth in Classical times, the Middle Ages also were a period of global demographic stagnation, caused by famine, pestilence, pervasive celibacy and poverty. Population growth soared with the rise of liberal capitalism in the Early Modern period, aided by changing attitudes toward motherhood, children, and families. Simon Schama describes the Netherlands, the fount of this transition, as a “Republic of Children” built around the nuclear family. The medieval obsession with the Virgin Mother and the unrealistic cherubim typical of Renaissance painting were replaced with domestic images characterized by “uncompromising earthiness.”
We now seem to be moving away from those values, and as in the Middle Ages, becoming less centered around the family. Serfs at least had religion and a sense of community; our societies have become increasingly lonely, with single men hit hardest and children, often without two parents or any siblings, and chained to social media, increasingly isolated around the world. In the U.S. since 1960, the percentage of people in the United States living alone has grown from about 12 percent to 28 percent. Even intimacy is on its way out, particularly among the young; the once swinging age groups now are suffering a “sex recession.”
The percentage of American women who are mothers is at its lowest point in over three decades. Intact families are rarer, and single living more common. In the United States, the rate of single parenthood has grown from 10 percent in 1960 to over 40 percent today. This is very bad news for society, particularly minorities, because intact families tend to have fewer problems relating to prison, school, or poverty.
This social collapse is going global. In Britain, 8 percent of households in 1970 were headed by a single parent; now, the rate is over 25 percent. The percentage of children born outside marriage has doubled over the past three decades, to 40 percent. In the Scandinavian countries, around 40 percent of the population lives alone.
…
In Japan, the harbinger of modern Asian demographics, the number of people living alone is expected to reach 40 percent of the whole population by 2040. Japan has a rising “misery index” of divorces, single motherhood, and spousal and child abuse—all of which accelerates the country’s disastrous demographic decline and deepens class division. More and more people are not only living alone but dying alone. There are estimated to be four thousand “lonely deaths” in Japan every week.
…
The disinclination to form families is often described as generational choice. But American millennial attitudes about family are not significantly different from prior generations, though perhaps with a greater emphasis on gender equality. Among American childless women under age 44, barely 6 percent are “voluntarily childless.” The vast majority of millennials want to get married and have children.
High housing prices, crowded living conditions, and financial pressures certainly account for much of this gap. This phenomenon is particularly marked in the urban centers that dominate the world’s economy and culture. Today many large cities are becoming childless demographic graveyards. Between 2011 and 2019, the number of babies born annually in Manhattan dropped by nearly 15 percent, while the decrease across the city was 9 percent. The nation’s premier urban center could see its infant population shrink by half in the next thirty years. The share of nonfamily households grew three times as fast in gentrifying neighborhoods as in the city overall. In the future, writes Steve LeVine in Axios, shifting local priorities “could write kids out of urban life for good.”
…
Nearly half a century ago, Daniel Bell saw a “new class” rising with values profoundly divergent from the traditional bourgeois norms of self-control, industriousness, and personal responsibility, which together form the essence of familialism. Instead, Bell envisioned a new type of individualism, unmoored from religion and family, which could dissolve the foundations of middle-class culture.
Indeed, for some, particularly in Europe and North America, declining fecundity represents an ideal result, chosen by those who “give up having children to save the planet” in order to reduce the carbon impact of each additional human. The recipe for reducing family size fits with the widely promoted notion of de-growth which has strong support from the oligarchs and financiers associated with the World Economic Forum. The goal is no GDP growth, less consumption, smaller houses, less class mobility, policies likely to reduce birthrates.
Others, particularly feminists and gender activists, celebrate the decline of the family for more ideological reasons. The late feminist icon Betty Frieden once compared housewives to people marching voluntarily into “a concentration camp.” One recent New York Times article even linked women who choose to stay at home with “white supremacy.” Black Lives Matter, true to its quasi-Marxist ideology, has made clear its antipathy to the nuclear family, an attitude widely shared in the mainstream media as well.
The more conventional Marxists in China, for their part, see these post-familial attitudes as a threat to the country’s future. China’s Communist leaders, while officially genuflecting to Maoist ideology, now promote the filial piety central to both traditional folk religion and the Confucianism but long reviled by the founders of the People’s Republic. Once terrified by overpopulation, China’s leaders are seeking ways to raise childbearing and family formation into “socialist” values.
But it’s Japan which again epitomizes the shift in Asian attitudes. There, traditional values such as hard work, sacrifice, and loyalty are largely rejected by the new generation, the shinjinrui or “new race.” These younger Japanese, writes one sociologist, are “pioneering a new sort of high quality, low energy, low growth existence.” Maybe they don’t need much energy since nearly a third of Japanese adults entering their thirties have never had sex. This is not a good predictor for family formation.
…
To succeed, such initiatives have to go beyond cash payments and other incentives, as welcome as these may be. There also needs to be a concerted effort to build family-friendly housing— large apartments, townhomes, and single-family detached houses—that generally attract families with children. Rather than shoehorning forced density into already-dense metros, we can encourage the development of less expensive, family-friendly housing; the shift to the periphery accelerated by the pandemic could help reverse the rapid aging and demographic declines associated with densely packed cities. The rise of remote work—something widely embraced by parents—could boost families by allowing them to work at home or nearby.
These are not issues of right or left, but concern the future of our civilization, not just economically but spiritually. Social democracy, as first developed in places like Sweden, sought to bolster families, not hem them in. Some conservatives have placed similar emphasis on the family unit. The debate should be not the utility of supporting families, but how best to do it.
This is a choice we need to make. A woke utopia, where children and families are rare, upward mobility constrained, and society built around a collective welfare system, would create a society that rewards hedonism and personal self-absorption. There is nothing as binding in a society as the ties created by children, who give us reason to fight against an encroaching dystopia.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
SPN 7X13 The Slice Girls
man I entirely forgot about AMY and so did the show
jesus shit and Frank's RIDICULOUSLY depressing advice
ooo this song is cool
man this show made me scared to be alone
well that's brutal
also I initially thought it was Cas and now I'm sad
aw Bobby's flask
this man is not doing...good
like really, not good
DEAN IS BULLSHITTING LMAO
but the :D
it's unsettling
this is brutal
attacker isn't human huh
this is a very swanky bar
the zooms are very unsettling
even if it's a spell, mans is good at hiding
no he does not speak japanese
it's a good line though
yeah there we go
"you shook me all night long" you're joking
this is
HILARIOUS
ah another one ok
that threw me for a hot sec
...yeah ok Dean definitely likes not being on top
this is such a strange juxtaposition
dammit I like the song a lot though
"I'm getting too old for this" heh
the guy, huh
ah the fling
oh it's not a fake number
heh Sam
she's pregnant huh well the was quick
well this is culty
Emma
sweet jesus, it's Dean's kid osdf'has
"good word with the IRS" lmao
y'all miss bobby's expertise huh
Sam's enjoying himself lmao
"guy it belonged to was beat up and old too" :(
smol
Emma
Dean unfortunately knows things about kids
"I'm engaging in some social skills" hahah
that's not normal child development is it
it's just kinda spiralling
she's an amazon too isn't she
oop
ah Dean flagged it too
the Vibe
he did not dodge a bullet
"make us proud"
she seems sad :(
"I hate when this happens"LMAO
Red Flags
"how you know so much about child development" SAM HE RAISED YOU
dammit Sam
he's being obtuse on purpose
yes I know Dean is obssessive
"hannah montana early years" DEAN?
wow they're all white
Emma doesn't want to
harmonia??
the amazons
DEAN INSTANTLY WENT TO WONDER WOMAN
yeah
amazon
I don't think you've dealt with "stopped the apocalypse like three times" before
aw Dean's grumpy
humans plus
gives birth within 36 hours jeez
babies grow fast, then age normal
every two years
sorry bud
yeah Dean you have a kid
predictably he takes this poorly
courage
Decent looking nice Sam you did your best
succesful guys that are good looking, gene pool
mans is good at vibes, I'll give him that
burned him ah because ghosts
lmao wiretap
ah Emma
"i need your help"??
"It's all you know" oh my god
LMAO THE DAD ACTIVATED IT TOOK LIKE NOTHING
bruh he likes kids
so they do know he's a hunter
she tried to lie to him?
"you get this isn't normal right" "HOW WOULD I KNOW"
ah to be normal
"crazy drunk old genius" aw
"they have all the good stuff"
it's the kid
:(
it better not be, or an actual question or something
ah the Amazon Form
bruh those knives always look so fake
whoops
double whoops
at least he was right
she was told he was a hunter so she tried
SAM LMAO
NO I WANT TO SEE THE CONVERSATION
"so now someone has to kill someone"
man Dean really just wants to be a dad
man it's fucked up they never bring this up
ah god poor Dean
and they're gone
if we live that long
ah he's mad that Dean didn't kill her man what the fuck
aw man "no she was my kid"
"cas died you were wobbly"
"you're just bigger" ah
an it feels right moment
1. loneliness, just a spitball. Just. The monster(or at least when you get killed) here tends to be loneliness, which also feels American, in a way.
2. bars. America's third place, it's what keeps people connected, it's where you get the talk of the town. it's probably important they're connected to alcohol and the night
both one and two are like..America and American culture
3. girls but it feels wrong. Like they kinda flipped the one night stands thing, but it like. yes I know they're not making anything about the patriarchy, but felt wrong.
4. the system. Emma didn't Rebel rebel, neither did Lydia. but they weren't happy about it. Emma resisted. Like resisted, took path of least resistance, has no other option because you pasted over your personality.
it feels important.
5. I feel like fatherhood. Like the idea of someone Not Wanting to be a Father for reasons of like "I'd be terrible at it, I'd ruin the kid" but so clearly wanting to be a father, so clearly wanting to raise someone, but terrified.
and Bobby's tied into it, because Bobby thought about it the same way, and he ended up adopting the boys(well kinda). Like really, they're more nurturing than they're told they should be because of Macho Vibes, and that(and Dean clinging to Bobby's flask) is important. Like yeah Bobby's space in the world is missing(no expert) but so's the space in the narrative, their father is dead.
6. paranoid but it eventually makes you good at vibes. Like Dean's paranoid so Sam tries to discount it, but then in this case, it actually and actively keeps him alive, to the point where you can say he pattern matches quicker by seeing patterns everywhere.
7. bruh everyone mirror Dean, but they try NOT TO. They tie things to Dean, they realized they tied Bobby and Dean together that way but they kept trying to undercut it, to keep it a monster of the week, and undercutting the emotional scene and making it about AMY of all people, which doesn't hit because we got very little sense that Sam cared about her after that one episode. like...Dean, who wants to be a dad deep down just saw his biological kid(who he was half ready to take in, monster and all) die. He's...not doing hot. And they kept undercutting that by bringing up the WRONG PARTS OF THE NARRATIVE(Dean's guilt about amy or his fatalism or whatever). THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE OPPOSITE OF FATALISM.
god I miss Cas, that's gonna snap him out of this I think.
#pawswatchesspn#7X13 The Slice Girls#absolutely fucked how they tried to play this off as Just Another Monster of the week#when it would probably FUCK dean up#:((#Emma my beloved
1 note
·
View note
Text
DMC Week 2020
The Tower in Reverse
Day 1: Bone | Blood | Weapon
There is no eternal damnation In the face of Love.
You can try to pull us down, But we will crawl back up from Hell.
The Tower of the Major Arcana Upright: Chaos, Upheaval, Unexpected Change, Disruptive Revelation. Reversed: Disaster Averted, Delay of the Inevitable, Resistance to change.
The Dark Slayer once met a Lady Knight. And thus their fate did change. A tower built from their blind mistakes brought them both to Hell.
But Fate can twist in many ways, and perhaps there’s still a chance: that love will tear down this construct of their own foolishness, and a family shall reunite.
The Man Behind the Devil’s Mask
Day 2: Monster | Cryptid | Demon
Not everything starts off with a bang of fireworks.
Unless said fireworks were supposed to involve some demon blood and guts.
Eva wouldn’t say she got off on the wrong foot with Spencer. Any witch with some common sense would know to be wary of trusting a devil.
Except this devil was one that would make long distance phone calls with a telephone to ask how to save a man from being bitten by a foreign demon, and eat cotton candy while in the middle of investigating the trail on said demon.
Oh, she made no mistake. By the end of the day, a devil was still a devil. But never has she met a devil who would give in to nurturing that came from living among humans.
What is a God, to a Father?
Day 3: Fight | Reunion | Loss
Sometimes, just sometimes, Nero wished that his life could just be simple. That the ever-present wish of knowing where he came from didn’t somehow bite him in the ass.
Kyrie had told him that he always knew which path was right, and which path was wrong.
But sometimes, it wasn’t about the path anymore. It was about the thoughts and feelings he had that he didn’t want to unload, because he thinks that no one deserved to really get the brunt of his weird-and-getting-weirder problems.
Who was going to best understand the absolute frustration he has warring inside him, about how he wanted family, how he cared for family, but so far everything about his family has been traumatic?
This was no burden for any human to shoulder.
But maybe on the one family reunion that wasn’t traumatic, a devil could lend him an ear and shoulder instead.
And a late wish coming true was still a wish come true.
What You Missed, You Can Regain
Day 4: Food | Style | Music
The past is something that can neither be replicated, nor can it be changed. But moving forward, there is always a way to create something new, in order to make up for what was given up.
Just because some things were too late, didn’t mean there weren’t other avenues that can’t make up for it.
And Vergil will find that what is left of his family was bigger than just Dante and (the unexpected) Nero.
He can still find solace and warmth in the people that Dante and Nero both have added to their family.
I Owe You as You Owe Me
Day 5: Hurt | Heal | Happiness
In which Lady is no better than Dante when it comes to communicating, and maybe the two of them ought to take some advice from Vergil: If you want it, you have to take it for yourself.
Or, better yet: speak up and be straightforward.
New things can be scary, and Lady, for all her bravado, might not be as courageous as she seems, when feelings get involved.
In the end, what she owed him was an explanation, and the truth of her feelings. And the only thing he owed her was a response.
Only from there could they move forward, but perhaps Lady could finally live a life where she could say she achieved happiness.
The Warmth From Winter
Day 6: Home | Family | Belonging
“Don’t be difficult. Yes. Because you’re my brother. And I would give the best that I can offer to my kids, okay? And if the best for Snow’s sword training would come from you, then I’d want that for her. For you, even. Imagine, if this entire mess didn’t turn out the way it did. I’m sure you would have wanted to teach Nero how to use the Yamato, wouldn’t you? Could have taught them together. Besides, I wouldn’t have let you refuse.”
“I see… So, I presume you would not be allowing me to refuse this request, either?”
“Damn right I won’t let you. Snow’s also pretty close to Nero, you know. He’s her favorite cousin. Get on my Snowflake’s good side, and she’ll be happy to help you with Nero.”
Dante has a family.
Vergil didn’t think this family could still include him.
His niece decided a good icebreaker was going to be something the Kin of Sparda does best: to cross blades.
Crayon Rainbows After Rain
Day 7: AU | Free Day
Take away the phantastical, the unimaginable, the inexplainable, and the extraordinary…
Would that leave you with a plain, basic, predictable, and mediocre life?
In a world where humanity’s worst enemy is the shadow within themselves, a “normal” life did mean sunshine after rainbows…
For rainbows only come after rain.
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
National Examiner, April 12
You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: Mark Harmon quitting NCIS
Page 2: Stars Who Rock Around the Clock -- they believe in the healing power of crystals -- Naomi Campbell, Shirley MacLaine, Adele, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Uma Thurman
Page 3: Debra Messing, Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson, Megan Fox, Katy Perry, Gisele Bundchen
Page 4: Eddie Murphy's roles and costumes
Page 6: George Clooney is turning 60 in May, and he says being an older dad to toddlers has its benefits -- his son isn't ever going to feel competitive with him and he'll be gumming his bread by the time he'd feel competitive with him, jokes the Oscar-winning actor, whose twins Ella and Alexander turn 4 in June -- George is well aware that growing up with two highly accomplished parents (his wife Amal Clooney is a successful human rights lawyer) can put a lot of pressure on a kid and that's why the couple is already guiding Ella and Alexander with strong values and kind hearts because George says it's their job to make sure that they care about people and that they challenge people in power and look out for people who don't have power and those are the things he was raised with -- the known prankster is also passing the practical joke tradition down to the next generation and he taught Alexander to take a piece of banana, chew it up and then spit it into a napkin, then stand next to him mom, pretend to blow his nose into it and look down until Mama looks at it, then eat it
Page 7: Partridge Family star Shirley Jones turned 87, and she's brimming over with gratitude for her wonderful life that's been chock-full of extraordinary experiences -- she says you have to have a good time and enjoy life to the fullest and before you know it you'll be 87 -- Shirley has three sons (her stepson David Cassidy died in 2017) and 13 grandchildren
Page 8: Take your etiquette test for tea with Queen Elizabeth
Page 9: Brain foods that may help prevent dementia
* Study says new drug slows Alzheimer's
Page 10: Jennifer Garner recently opened up about her real feelings on her body -- she's 48 and single and has three children with ex-husband Ben Affleck: daughters Violet and Seraphina and son Samuel -- in a recent interview, she admitted that her body has changed a lot since having three kids and she doesn't mind one little bit, even though she was hurt when a friend hinted she may be expecting again, saying there are some women whose bodies just, no matter how many babies they have, they bounce right back to that slim-hipped, no stomach and she has so many girlfriends who have that physique and she's so happy for them, but she's not one of them and she can work really hard and she can be really fit and she will still look like a woman who's had three babies and she always will
Page 11: 6 stomach symptoms you should never ignore -- catch problems before the become deadly
Page 12: After more than two decades, James Brolin says he's discovered the way to keep his marriage to Barbra Streisand going strong: negotiation -- it's taken two marriages and 22 years for him to figure it out and he and his wife have gotten so close being locked down together -- his mother was the sweetest person so he never really learned to negotiate with women but now he knows if you sit down and talk about a situation, you can work it out
Page 14: Dear Tony, America's Top Psychic Healer -- don't make snap judgments; you may lose the perfect mate -- Tony predicts a very hot summer coming and a lot more street crime
Page 15: Folks getting their COVID-19 vaccinations at the Berkshire Community College in Massachusetts got a shocking treat: a mini-concert from world-famous cellist Yo-Yo Ma -- while waiting out his 15-minute observation period, the musician sat down to play a socially distant symphony for his fellow inoculees
Page 16: Duchess Kate is never seen without a purse, but what exactly does she keep inside it? There's quite a history between royal women and their handbags: Princess Diana used her clutch bag to cover her cleavage from prying photographers, Queen Elizabeth moves her handbag from one arm to the other to signal to her staff when she's bored of chatting with someone, and Kate carries her bag in her left hand so she can keep her right hand free to greet and shake hands with guests and she holds her bag in front of her when shaking hands might be awkward -- according to royal protocol pre-pandemic, Kate must extend her hand first for another person to shake hands with her, so if she prefers to just smile instead of touching other folks, she uses her clutch to do that -- author Marcia Moody who wrote Kate: A Biography, says the duchess always carries four must-have items: in her small clutch, she carries a compact mirror, a handkerchief, blotting paper and lip balm and every now and then, if she's going to attend a tennis match, for example, Kate will carry a pair of sunglasses -- unlike Queen Elizabeth, whose purses come from a company called Launer, the duchess favors different brands, but mostly a company called Mulberry -- nowadays with three small children, the mom gravitates toward midsize bags with handles because she's got to take more items with her like a handy bunch of tissues, good for wiping little noses and faces, and also takes her camera along
Page 18: William Shatner confesses that when he starred in Star Trek during the mid-60s, he had no idea it would become a worldwide phenomenon still popular today -- Shatner, who turned 90 in March, says it's unimaginable and it's all beyond anybody's imagination or ability to repeat and the greatest thing about being the captain of the Enterprise for three years was his relationship with the cast and the roles were written so well
Page 19: Brandy is a one-in-a million cat because those are the odds she'd ever be found again after she went missing 15 years ago -- when Charles got the phone call from a California animal shelter that his missing pet has been found, he could scarcely believe his ears and the Los Angeles man was skeptical and thought it must be a mistake but he had made sure the two-month-old kitten had a microchip and sure enough, the malnourished stray they found was his Brandy -- Charles did break down and cry because he thought about all of the years he lost from her and when he picked her up, she started to purr and it was very emotional
Page 20: Mark Harmon finally lured wife Pam Dawber out of retirement to star alongside him on NCIS, but the pairing will be short-lived because he's leaving the show after 18 hit seasons -- the 69-year-old star is finally fed up with the backbreaking hours, endless rehearsals, and feuds with cast and crew, and plans to ride off into the sunset with Pam and retire to the couple's Montana Ranch -- Mark's contract is up after season 18, and he's agonized over whether to sign a new one and he's being offered the moon and the stars to come back for a few more seasons, but he says his heart just isn't in it and Mark has faced problems on the set over the past few years and he feels his age, he just doesn't need the aggravation anymore -- NCIS recently teased a possible departure of his character Leroy Gibbs when the special agent commander was suspended for assaulting and nearly killing a suspect but despite that, Harmon insists Gibbs not be killed off so he can leave the door open for a possible return
Page 22: Legendary actor Michael Caine just turned 88 and he's still going strong, starring in an upcoming comedy Best Sellers and says he knows he's old but he doesn't feel old, not in his head, where it matters
Page 24: They say money doesn't buy happiness, but what do people spend their money on that can buy happiness? You don't need millions of dollars to afford the things that happy people buy to stay that way and studies show that anything over $75,000 a year in income is gravy, which means yachts, jewels, second homes and art collections are not at all required -- the best thing to drop your cash on is experiences and doing is better than having and in other words, an object you own will never give you the consistent pleasure of an experience that creates good memories that live on forever -- also the best experiences are the ones that involve other people like having a picnic with family, going rafting with pals, or even just walking and talking with an exercise buddy
Page 25: Freshen Your Fridge -- make a clean start with this 5-step plan
Page 26: Tony's Mystic World -- may the force be with you -- the life force can be drained out of you by fear or worry
Page 28: Sensational Snaps From Around the World -- photo contest captures amazing sights
Page 31: When to trash it -- the useful lifespan of refrigerated food
Page 32: It's been 40 years since Marilu Henner starred on the hit sitcom Taxi, but the great memories and wonderful co-stars are always on her mind because she's still pals with them -- they always stayed in touch with each other and never lost touch and do a Taxi Zoom every two months and they're all very current with each other and they have a text chain as well and they're in contact every week -- Marilu is close with cast members Tony Danza, Judd Hirsch, Danny DeVito, Christopher Lloyd and Carol Kane
Page 33: Garth Brooks is overjoyed wife Trisha Yearwood has finally bounced back from her bout with COVID-19 -- she seems to be 100 percent, according to Garth, and at the end there during fatigue she got real impatient, really kind of mean and sassy and he thought well, she's back to herself -- after announcing in February that Trisha had the coronavirus and Garth said he had tested negative
Page 40: The grass is always greener when you use these simple gardening tips
* Avoid cat-astrophe -- the right way to add a stray
Page 42: 10 things you never knew about Glenn Close -- the wildly successful actress turned 74 in March
Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Sylvester Stallone and wife Jennifer Flavin leave a Florida hotel (picture), Jane Seymour is still looking on the bright side even as the world continues to weather the pandemic, one year after the death of Kenny Rogers his family thanked fans as they honored his life, Sharon Stone is dishing dirt about her Hollywood past in her recently released memoir like one moviemaker who told her to have sex with a male co-star to improve their on-screen chemistry, 28-year-old twins Lady Amelia and Lady Eliza Spencer who are the nieces of Princess Diana recently stepped out in South Africa as bridesmaids for fellow high society girl Leila Osato, director Christopher Columbus pooh-poohed internet rumors about the existence of an NC-17 cut of Mrs. Doubtfire but he did confirm there's an unreleased R-rated version
Page 45: Good Morning America co-host Cecilia Vega mugs it up for the camera on the morning show (picture), Gretta Monahan gets out of a car (picture), longtime GMA veteran Robin Roberts displays her ever-present sunny side on the set (picture), the Hollywood Hills home of Johnny Depp recently had some uninvited guests when a man was spotted loitering by the property's pool but ran off after being confronted by a neighbor and not much later Johnny's security team called police about another unwanted visitor who had taken a shower and helped himself to the actor's booze, Elsa Pataky has been married to Chris Hemsworth for 10 years and says patience and communication and understanding are what help their relationship be successful
Page 46: A Texas man has helped thousands of people by donating his blood platelets a staggering 962 times over the past 37 years
Page 47: Celebrity Weddings Gone Wrong -- Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden, Nicky Hilton and James Rothschild, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson, Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar, Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley
#tabloid#grain of salt#tabloid toc#tabloidtoc#mark harmon#pam dawber#ncis#leroy gibbs#leroy jethro gibbs#kate middleton#duchess kate#princess kate#duchess catherine#catherine duchess of cambridge#james brolin#barbra streisand#crystals#eddie murphy#george clooney#shirley jones#partridge family#the partridge family#queen elizabeth#princess diana#jennifer garner#stomach problems#tony leggett#yo-yo ma#yo yo ma#william shatner
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lightis ‘The Witcher’ AU Headcanon
Ever since I was watching Netflix’s The Witcher, my life’s never been the same. I was hot and bothered by it, constantly thinking about it…I was dying for more lmao. Thankfully, there is a Lightis day dedicated to The Witcher, so I thought…why not make silly headcanons about it? I will say though my knowledge of The Witcher storyline and the lore of it is very lacking, so if I got anything wrong, please accept my humblest apology. A bit of a warning though: The headcanon is very lengthy and long. And by lengthy I mean I did it from the beginning and end, because I couldn’t help it to be honest 😅. Hopefully, the undercut will save you guys from reading such a long post. If not, I’M SORRY. Blame Tumblr. Without further ado, let’s start! @lightisdays2k @givelightningherharem
So instead of the existent of “witchers”, there are l’Cie folks living in the world of Eos. And let’s just say these l’Cie have… “superhuman” powers such as strength, prediction of the future, high intelligence, healers, skilled hunters, and more. Finding a l’Cie is pretty hard nowadays since they’re all typically humans. And yes, to identify a l’Cie is if they have their brand on the skin. Most of them cover it up though.
Lightning Farron is a known mercenary l’Cie, always travelling and looking for some gil to feed for herself and sister. Light will accept anything that involves beast eliminations. But because of her always killing beasts, actual hunters who do this for a living get irritated. So, there are a few hunters who are willing to seek her and have her head.
Now let’s fast forward to where Lightning was minding her own business with Serah. The two were trying to find some wood for the fire to use for the night when they hear someone calling for help in the middle of the forest. Light instructs Serah to go back to the tent and hide. The older Farron investigates where the cry is coming from. Lightning finds a lone woman struggling to fight off a big behemoth. The woman’s magic is defending her from the incoming bites and scratches, but her powers are quickly fading. So Lightning comes to the rescue and easily defeats the behemoth before it can eat the woman for dinner.
The woman is thankful for Lightning and asked what she wanted. Lightning has nothing she desires, but the woman insisted. She decides to invite Lightning and Serah over to an upcoming banquet with a neighboring country from Niflheim. This is when Lightning discovers she and her sister are going over to some royal banquet and finds out the woman is Queen Aulea of Lucis. And yes, Queen Aulea knew that Lightning is l’Cie (and Serah too).
So at the banquet, Queen Aulea is already exposing the fact that Lightning and Serah are l’Cie, a race that is thought to be extinct.
Let’s say there as an assassination attempt on King Regis in the banquet (they were probably Niflheim spies, but no one knows), but Lightning has yet again saved the royal family and putting that assassin behind bars. Thankful once again, Queen Aulea asks if there is anything Lightning wants. Lightning does not want anything but finding her “focus”.
Every single l’Cie that is breathing in Eos were destined to find their “focus”. If they were fulfill it, then that l’Cie will be granted eternal life by turning into crystal. Or if they fail/give up finding it, then they turn into a beast. But for the sake of this AU, imma say that the l’Cie were already granted eternal life without being turned into crystal, staying forever in their 20s-30s.
ANYWAYS…the element of surprise comes to play when Queen Aulea suddenly vomits in the banquet! “What did you do?!” Regis panicked. His Queen is pregnant, and it’s linked towards Lightning. Of course, I’m not saying Light is gonna be the mother of Noctis in the future, but he is gonna be connected towards her “focus”.
Destiny (and Serah) starts throwing clues at Lightning about the future of Lucis and the whole world, but Lightning coolly dismisses it because she thinks it’s all foolery.
12 years and 9 months later, Insomnia falls. Just hours before the fall, Lightning and Serah decided to visit Insomnia, after the two sisters had an argument about how the past events they got themselves into were just too coincidental to begin with: like how Lightning was unable to sleep that whole week, the vague words of a dying princess she was hired to kill. Lightning eventually agrees with Serah to accept the fact she and King Regis’s child were meant to be. However, King Regis refuses and puts Lightning and Serah in prison.
Once Niflheim invades Insomnia, Lightning and Serah escaped the prison. They both see that King Regis is dead, making it a very high priority for Lightning to search for the kid.
I KNOW IT’S STUPID BUT HEAR ME OUT--Oh yeah and maybe Serah turns into crystal after fulfilling her “focus” when she tells her sister to find Noctis, now that things are starting to get real.
Meanwhile, 12-year-old Noctis escapes Insomnia, his father’s words of “finding a l’Cie named Lightning, for she is your destiny”. Now I dunno if I want to add in Noct’s friends (Prompto, Gladio, and Ignis). …Maybe I should since it’ll be weird to have Noctis to be by himself. Don’t worry, none of them dies!
Of course, Niflheim does find out Prince Noctis is still out there, alive…and the emperor wants him dead.
At some point, Lightning and Noctis meets up. The real fun begins here because lklfkds. Lightning trains Noctis and the boys most of their lives. Of course, the beginning of training wasn’t too fun in Noctis’s eyes. Wooden swords? Fighting with dummies? LAME. Noctis wants some real training, but Light is so damn strict. She probably made him run about 3 miles and back to her home as punishment.
Noct will quickly learn that Light also has a soft heart. Light can be relentless with her kills whenever there were beasts or bandits within her property, it makes Noct wonder if she’s “human”. This all changes when he sees her tending to an injured black wolf pup. He thought she was gonna kill it, but she didn’t. She was nice enough to let him keep the pup since she can tell the pup is an orphan. Thus, Noctis affectionately names the wolf Umbra hehehe.
Along with the intense training Noct and boys were doing, there were also some cute moments within Light’s house. As a little boy with child-like tendencies, Noctis wanted to play in the beach near her home instead of training today. And because Noct was being so damn cute, Light couldn’t deny him and let him relax. He swore he saw her smile for a second.
And maybe…just maybe…Noctis started to develop feelings for Lightning. He shook his head, it’s only a small crush. I mean she is pretty and all, but she probably has a lover or something…right?
Then about 6 months later (after the beach time fun), some snitch pointed a finger at Lightning’s house, and a small Niflheim army marched over there. SHIT! Lightning cursed and woke Noctis and the boys up. The only thing Noct heard from her is “RUN!” before she clashed a sword with a Niflheim soldier. Noctis wanted to fight, too, but he was too young. So he and the boys fled off while Light fights off every soldier. And it took her a while, got a few injuries, but she survived. She tried to go look for him, thinking maybe he’d hid somewhere but he was nowhere to be found. Light searched high and low for him without any luck.
And let’s say Noct and the boys were caught, but Niflheim only got him in less than a minute because Noct somehow warped away from his captures and escaped with his friends. The boys never really did reunite with Lightning now that Niflheim knows Noct is on the run.
Years later, Lightning finally gets a lead of Noct’s whereabouts after looking for him in what it seems like forever. She wouldn’t know how old he is since it’s been THAT long the last time she saw him. He’s must be an adult by now…she guessed. She eventually learns that the young prince is looking for royal arms scattered around Eos and attempting to defeat Niflheim by himself and his friends (also reclaiming the throne as the rightful king of Lucis).
She would be so close in reuniting with him after years not seeing him, but he’s always a step ahead of her. While Noct is on his mission, Niflheim is also tracking him down. Being the last prince of the Caelum family, he is still connected to the Crystal’s power. And let’s pretend that Emperor Aldercapt can’t get his wrinkly fingers on the Crystal, so as long as Noctis is still alive, which is the reason why Niflheim is hunting him down.
FINALLY, Lightning and Noctis reunite in Altissia! Light would notice…Noct grew to a fine young man, as well as Prompto, Gladiolus, and Ignis. But their happy little reunion would be cut short when there’s word that the Niflheim army is approaching. And Noct and Light knew they wouldn’t be able to fight the army with only five people, so they need to round up few more people. Noct would be asking around the people in Leide region, Duscae, and Tenebrae while Lightning will be rounding up other l’Cie folks, Cleigne region of Lucis, and talking to first secretary Camelia in Altissia.
With the whole world of Eos fighting against Niflheim, the empire army gets a bit overwhelmed heh. The army retreats. But it’s not a celebration yet! Emperor Aldercapt is still alive, and Noct is determined to kill that old man now that he has the 13 royal arms with him.
LET’S TALK ABOUT THE DAMN ROMANCE NOW THAT NOCTIS IS OLDER YAYYYY 😘. Noctis actually wanted to reunite with her earlier, but things keep getting in the way. Maybe Light started to feel attracted to him too when she sees him for the first time in years. Even though he has physically changed, he’s still the sweet boy she remembers. Oh yeah don’t worry Umbra is here too!
In battle though, Noct is little too eager to fight and wants to go in head on with his warp strike. Light would be annoyed by it and the two would argue about how they battle. For example, Noct would sometimes overuse his Royal Arm weapon which drains him and make him vulnerable to attack. Light would be there to deflect the attack and give him a potion. And Ignis and the others would tell Noct he needs to be careful. To his defense, he forgets, but not when Light is yelling at him as if he just committed a murder and didn’t tell anyone.
Now there was a point where Noct and Light were doing a side mission where they were attending a masquerade ball because there is a former Niflheim spy wishing to talk to Noct and spill the tea about the emperor’s plan. The ball itself was beautiful. Light was beautiful in a dress. Noct couldn’t stop staring at her. There was that one time a drunk was stalking them and hitting on Light, that it made Noctis to kiss Lightning to show that she’s supposedly “taken”. The kiss was sweet. She realized…he’s a good kisser 😩.
They probably banged a few times too when the chemistry starts heating up. First time was when they were arguing after the fact a djinn escaped and Noct wanted to use it to grant three wishes 🤭. Light knew djinns are no joke, so she fought and freed the djinn, making Noct pissed hehe. Their second time was when Noct confessed his feelings to her. “You’re important to me…” he whispered in his sleep.
Pillow talk moments where he learns how she craves to be human again instead of being a l’Cie, how he promised her they’ll get rid of the l’Cie mark together, even though it look sexy as hell on her left shoulder 😉.
Romance aside, Noct, his friends, and Light now are gonna prepare to fight Emperor Aldercapt once and for all. They knew the fight is gonna be tough. The travel from Lucis to Niflheim will take them a while. The party created a plan to infiltrate the imperial palace. A group of l’Cie mages will create a magic barrier around the palace to prevent anyone from leaving and/or entering the premise. And if the backup tries to harm the l’Cie, Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto will be there to defend.
Noct and Light would be the one fighting Emperor Aldercapt. It was a tough fight. The old man sure can use his magic pretty well 😯. Noct was gravely injured at some point and was about to be killed when Lightning jumped in took the hit!
But…BUT. Time suddenly stops! Light meets Etro Herself in another dimension. Seems like Etro is mad that Lightning is intervening Noct’s inevitable death. But Light wasn’t going to let it happen because she loves him. Then Etro says something about Light’s focus, which is to make sure Noct doesn’t die and that he is crowned king. But because Noctis is gonna die, it’ll mean Light has failed her focus, but she’s not gonna have that shit. So you know what happens? She fights with Etro 😱. Light ended up winning and decided to let Noctis live and make Light defend the incoming blow once time resumes back to normal. Unbeknownst to her, she didn’t notice her l’Cie brand is gone.
At last, Emperor Aldercapt is defeated! Noct and his friends are now deemed heroes of Eos. Noctis wants Light to be queen, so they married and start rebuilding Insomnia to its former glory 😊.
15 notes
·
View notes