strawberryscorner

[strawberryscorner]

Idk if you do requests or not but I love scrolling through your stuff.

I was wondering how would the seed brothers react if the deputy (M or F idc) had memory issues. To the point they carry a book around to write not important stuff.

(yes I was thinking about ranboo while having this idea) you can decide the severity of the memory issues. It could be mild where the deputy only forgets small stuff or bad where they forget everything. Like where do I live bad.

Hey, sorry it took a while to do this, but I hope you like it!

Joseph:

This man will pray for you and will have all these solutions. He will also be glued to your side.

You're looking in your notebook to figure out where you were going and why. He'll smile softly watching you, not wanting to tell you and stop you from figuring it out on your own. Sadly, you didn't put directions, "go to the church" wasn't as helpful to current you as past you thought it'd be. You sigh and bite your lip, looking up when you feel Joseph's arm sliding across your shoulders.

"Don't worry, darling. I'll get us there, and soon, you'll have your memory, we just have to complete two more trials." He says reassuringly.

"What trails?" You eye him suspiciously, the last one took more energy out of you than you would have liked.

"Nothing too hard, we'll know the details soon."

John:

John will probably go to his brother for help, he'll pray often and also take on more baptisms to perform.

"Just stay here, princess, I won't be long," he says, putting you on the sofa.

"Why can't I come with you?" You're confused, you usually go everywhere with him...Or...At least you think you do.

"I'll just be taking two peoples confessions then I'll be right back," he kisses your forehead and hands you a notebook. "Here, all the important and people if you need to go somewhere or need help."

You nod your head, you somewhat remember confessions and that he takes them. They don't take too long but if you're bored, you can go outside and sit by his plane and wait for him, then he'll take you on a ride and show you the county.

Jacob:

Unlike his brothers, he doesn't pray. He gets you to work, training will help your mind.

"Come on, you're faster than that," he smiles, running backwards as you try to keep up.

"We've been running forever, Jacob! I'm tired!"

"We're almost there."

"Where are we going?" You get no reply, just a cheeky grin and him turning to run facing the right way.

You keep running, though you're not sure how long you've ran for. When he finally stops, you're by a lake, the water is beautiful and there's fish swimming. He looks at you with a huge smile on your face.

"Remember anything, pup?"

You squint your eyes as you look around, partly from the sun and partly to force your brain to work.

"Kiss, we kissed for the first time," you stand on your tiptoes to look over his shoulder. "Right there!"

He laughs and picks you up, "Yeah, we did!"

You laugh, stopping just when your lips meet.

[strawberryscorner]

I'm alive

Hey, it's been a while since the last update to Forgotten Sins but I moved countries and started school so an update will be happening but it'll take some time.

The next part will be where I start adding things from the game though so it should start getting good.

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 14

Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Series Masterlist

Note: This chapter is shorter and later than usual. I've had a very odd month but hopefully can get this back on track again.

***

Jacob walked into the room where you were waiting, looking between the maps of the regions and what the two of you had written up before he was pulled away. You prayed these plans would work, but for them to even have a chance, the other Heralds would have to put their egos away and do what their oldest brother tells them to.

“Think we can do this?” Jacob asked, walking back into the room and closing the door behind him.

“We have to, I’m just not sure how to make the others listen.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “They’ll have their own plans, and of course, they’ll think their own plans are better.”

“I don’t know, I have a feeling John will be a lot more agreeable this time around.”

“What makes you sure?”

“I’m sure you can make him see sense.”

“You? As in me? You expect him to listen to me?”

He just smirked and rolled up one of the plans and a map, then tapped your head with the rolled paper. “You got this.” He walked out of the room, leaving you alone again.

“Ass,” you grumbled and rolled up the other paper of plans and map, ready to head back to the ranch.

***

You sighed after searching every room in the ranch, John Seed was nowhere to be found. You decided to check outside by his plane. He better be there.

Nope.

No John Seed and no plane.

You have got to be kidding me, you thought but then a car driving up pulled you away from cursing him out in your mind.

“Where is he?” you asked the man as soon as he exited the vehicle. “Is something wrong?”

There should still be more time to get everything sorted, the war shouldn’t have started yet…Unless Adelaide lied to you.

“Nothing’s wrong,” the man said. “I guess John’s just taking a ride.”

He pointed up and you followed his gaze, in the sky you saw John’s plane, it was on its way in your direction then spun around, as though it was doing backflips in the air. Show-off. But then you turned back to face the man with a smile on your face.

“oh no, you don’t,” said the man, shaking his head and pointing a finger at you. “That’s the exact same face my daughter gives me before my missus is turning red in the face, yelling at me. Absolutely not.”

He turns back, heading for the car, still shaking his head.

“No.” You jogged up to him. “No, please, it’s not that bad, I promise, I just need you to do a tiny little favour for me by a few shrines, that’s all.” You grab him by the shoulder, smiling as innocently as you can. “That’s all, I promise.”

He sighed and nodded his head. “Alright, alright… Let’s get this over with. What do I have to do?”

You showed him the papers in your hands, explaining the much bigger favour than he thought you needed. You wanted more people guarding the shrines, more people to be armed, maybe even an angel or two at some of them in case someone from the Resistance gets too close. The man looked like he might start shaking his head again.

“Please, we really need this.”

“I take it John doesn’t know?”

“Not yet, but he will soon, and he’ll love this idea,” you said, nodding to yourself.

The man chuckled. “I’m sure he will.”

“It’s just some extra defences, also along the borders, if you’re able to find people along the way to put on some sort of border duty.”

“I’ll make sure it gets done.” He patted your shoulder and got in the car.

“Thank you,” you called out to him as he drove away, waving. Now, to break the news to John. When you turned around the plane was still up in the air.

How do I get him to come down? You raise your hand, finger out like a gun and mimic shooting him out of the sky. No, that won’t do.

You sighed and walked into the house, deciding that he couldn’t stay in the sky all day, he’d have to come down eventually.

***

John Seed was still in the sky as you poured the pasta into the sauce and stirred it in, getting it covered in the creamy sauce. You grabbed the radio from where you had left it on the table, just in case he decided to radio in.

“You better get down or I’m eating all this myself,” you warned.

You heard a laugh. “I’m coming down, save some for me.”

You decided you didn’t like eating alone and rather wait for him before you started eating so

you plated the table and portioned some of the food out, trying to take it slow, giving him plenty of time to enter the home.

“You’ve missed the whole day,” you scolded him once he walked through the door.

“I know, I know and I’m sorry, but it’s really great up there,” he said, a huge smile on his face. You weren’t sure you’d seen him look so genuinely happy. “I’ll take you up there sometime.”

“Absolutely not, I saw that spin!”

He chuckled as he picked up his fork. “No spins when you’re on the plane, promise.” He took a bite and hummed. “This is amazing.”

You smiled and waited for him to fill his stomach some more, then you’d break the news about what you had ordered that man to do and the rest of the plan he has to do because you did not feel like barking out orders all day. He wanted to be a Herald; he’d do it.

“You made one of my men do what?” He asked, his next bite right by his lips before he slowly lowered it back onto his plate. “Since when do you take orders from Jacob?”

“It was not an order from Jacob.” Not exactly. “It was a strategy on how to defend Eden’s Gate and defeat the Resistance. It was a strategy I made together with him; I just need you to enforce it.”

He looked unsure as he picked his fork back up and continued eating. You copied him.

“Do you think it’ll work?”

“Hard to know for sure since I haven’t really seen what they’re planning but I think we’ve got a good shot, yes.”

He nodded. “Okay, tell me what I need to do.”

So that was the dinner discussion. Battle strategy. You tell him what he needs to do, you also tell him what Jacob would be asking of the others. There were some parts he couldn’t keep the disapproval off his face, but he never voiced his opinions, allowing you to finish talking before asking any questions. Surprisingly, his first question was about which parts you came up with and which ideas were Jacob’s. Unsurprisingly, he started complaining about Jacob’s ideas.

“You can’t complain too much, I mean, you all did decide to trust him to keep you all safe and lead the army you guys were building against the Resistance.”

He waved a dismissive hand and picked up your empty plate and started on his dished.

“I already agreed to the plan, but I don’t see ‘sing Jacob Seed’s praises’ written on the to-do list.”

“Maybe I should change that,” you said, and he scoffed.

You were surprised Jacob was right, it didn’t take that much work to get him to agree. You wondered how it was going for Jacob. You didn’t think Joseph was giving him too much hassle, he mostly likely agreed just as easily as John, if not easier. Faith, however, probably wouldn’t overly enjoy having the big brother giving her orders on what to do with her flowers or angels.

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 13

Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Series Masterlist

You woke up curled into the side of John, he looked so peaceful asleep, and this was the first morning he was still in bed with you, usually, he’d be up by now either making food or doing something for Eden’s Gate. You shook your head gently, tearing your eyes from his face and removing your body from his. He made a noise in protest but remained asleep. You made your way out of the bedroom, careful to not make any noise, thankfully the floorboards and door were on your side this morning and you could quietly get away.

Downstairs you sighed and ran your hands through your hair. Your body turned to the kitchen, and you opened the fridge, you spotted eggs and sausage. You’d probably need a better, healthier breakfast for what’s to come but you decided this was good enough to today and started cooking. It wasn’t even until the food was almost done your brain caught up with you. I’m cooking breakfast for myself and John…When did I become so comfortable here? So domesticated? For John?

What sounded like a deep sigh of relief pulled you from your thoughts.

“There you fucking are,” John said and went to your side.

“Here I fucking am,” you sang back. You turned to look at him, there was a serious look on his face that left you confused. “It’s not like I was hiding.”

He scoffed and peered over your shoulder then quietly prepared the table when he saw the food was done. “That’s my job,” he said, pointing at the food.

“Well, you were still asleep, and I was hungry.”

He wanted to argue, you could tell but he decided to leave it, nodding instead. “I spoke to Joseph last night after you had fallen asleep.”

You tensed slightly. “What did he want?”

“I told him that you had confessed, I’m baptising you later today then you’ll officially be a member of Eden’s Gate.”

You nodded, part of you wanting to scream in fear at the thought of being held under the water and part of you being happy this was going to finally be over, and you’d finally be a part of some odd family. You also partially trusted John to not drown you.

He ate in silence after that, glancing at you from time to time but never enough to make you feel uncomfortable, just enough for you to think he was behaving oddly. You thought about questioning him on it, but you weren’t lying earlier, you were hungry, and you just wanted to eat.

After breakfast, John took you to the church, Joseph was holding another sermon to inform the people of the beginning of doomsday. You still weren’t fully convinced in all the talk of some judgment day but hey, if that’s what it’d take to get them to prepare for whatever war was coming against the Resistance, you could keep your comments to yourself.

“Be in the front,” John said. “I need to be up there with Joseph, but you sit in the front with Faith.”

You also weren’t going to say no to being near Faith again, you had missed her, so you nodded.

Once you took your seat next to her, she quickly wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a tight, intoxicating hug. This earned her a look from her brothers but since they were busy starting off the sermon, she felt confident enough to keep you in her arms, giving the men a sweet smile.

As Joseph spoke, his audience reacted around you. You could hear people gasping and mumbling, looking to your left, you could see people shaking their heads as he told them what was coming. He spoke of war and warned everyone that this could easily end with the world ending in flames, which was why you all needed to start working harder and faster. The bunkers needed to be fully stocked, and food needed gathering, harvesting and stocking. Joseph’s to-do list was huge, but he said it was for everyone’s safety to ensure everyone makes it out of this doomsday scenario alive.

You could see people listening intently as he listed what needed to be done, everyone making mental notes, and some people even taking actual notes with pen and paper. You weren’t sure you had seen that before, maybe they always took notes of sermons, or they somehow knew this one was going to be different.

While you weren’t convinced all the doomsday and fire stuff was going to happen, it still made you feel uneasy. It wasn’t a pleasant thought no matter how unrealistic it seemed. Even if it wasn’t real, the other threat was. A war was going to happen. The war was very real and would leave a large number of casualties on both sides, their fighting already has made too many lose their lives, but it was going to get a lot bigger from now on. Adelaide said they were getting outside help, who knew how many police were coming to help or what kind of weapons they were bringing, or maybe they were here to quietly end this? Although, nothing about your conversation with Adelaide let you believe that theory was true. That was just wishful thinking.

You sighed and tried not to fidget; you could make it through this sermon without needing to move around. You weren’t that nervous, you were good with a gun, whatever happens, you’ll be fine. There was no need to fidget.

“Are you okay?” Faith asked you; she still had her arms around you, keeping you close to her. Her face was so close to yours but with her arms around you, there was nowhere for you to go.

You nodded slightly, “I’m fine, my leg’s just fallen asleep.”

She gave you enough space to move your leg as though you were trying to fight off the non-existent static. You felt bad for lying but what else could you say? ‘Oh, I’m getting scared of something I don’t even believe in and we’re all possibly going to die’? No, you had to lie. Your leg was asleep, and you were fine.

Joseph’s voice drew both of your attention back to him, he was talking with more urgency, but it sounded like he was trying to conclude the sermon. Eventually, he clapped his hands, causing you to jump slightly, that was the end. People stood up and started to line to greet the Father and compliment his sermon or voice concerns about what he preached, about the war to come.

You tried to pay attention, but it was hard to hear what they were saying since they kept their voices low while Faith speaking to Jacob and John, neither of them were interested in keeping their voices low. Joseph kept a comforting smile on his face, one you assumed was fake while giving them soothing words about how strong everyone was and how ‘God is on our side’.

Everyone seemed to believe his words as they all left the church looking relieved, or they were all amazing actors. You watched as a mother rushed her young daughter out of the church once her husband had finished his conversation with Joseph. The children wouldn’t possibly survive this, not unless the Seed’s plan involved moving the people into the bunkers very soon but based on the sermon, that wouldn’t be the case.

You felt someone grab your hand, you looked to find John looking at you expectantly.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?”

“Go with Faith, get ready,” he said, holding your hand out to her. “We’ll be waiting for you.”

The men started walking out of the church as Faith led you to a room in the back. There was a long white gown waiting for you, it looked like something that might have been Victorian pyjamas. Faith told you to take off your clothes and she picked up the gown, taking it off the hanger.

“Why? What’s happening?”

“Your getting baptised, did no one tell you?” Faith looked as confused as you were.

“I was told this morning, but why do I need to change?” you asked. “When I saw the baptisms last time, they were in their own clothing.”

“You know you’re special,” she said patiently, waiting for you to start undressing.

“How?”

“Only the Father knows for sure.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line and started to undress, just wanting to get this over with. She helped you get into the white gown, it hung loosely on your body. The material was thin but not see-through, it wasn’t heavy on your shoulders and didn’t feel like it would drag you down in the water.

“You picked well,” you complimented Faith who smiled coyly.

“I wish I could take the credit, but it was John who picked the dress.” She took your arm in hers. “Now, let’s go, don’t want to be late to your own baptism.”

You let her guide you to where people were waiting, John was already in the water, his sleeves rolled up. Some people who were standing around had wet clothes, having been baptised themselves but now John just seemed bored in the water. It didn’t feel like it took that much time to get into the dress and walk down here.

Faith removed her arm from mine and joined Joseph’s side, looking up at him like he hung the stars and moon. He gave her a warm smile; this one didn’t seem as fake or manipulative as others, but you still didn’t trust it. You didn’t trust much from that man.

You walked towards the water, John motioning you to go to him. The dress pooled around your body like a shield in the water, a shield he easily broke through once you were standing in front of him.

“Are you ready?” He asked in a low voice.

“Yes.”

His voice raised slightly, so the audience on the grass could hear as he spoke, and then, his hand snaked the back of your neck and gently lowered you into the water. You hadn’t seen him be this gently baptising anyone else, you wondered if Joseph had spoken to him, had threatened him, since you were meant to be special somehow.

“All done,” he said, his voice low again and took your hand and led you out of the water.

The wet dress clung to your body in a way that made you uncomfortable as everyone stared at you. You just hoped the white dress wasn’t see-through, but you didn’t have to worry long, as soon as your feet touched the grass, Faith wrapped you into a tight hug.

“Welcome to Eden’s Gate, officially.” She had a huge smile on her face. Jacob nodded his head at you from behind her and Joseph was looking at you like a proud father, but you didn’t mind it. This was his least threatening look, or maybe it was the scent of Bliss that was rolling off of Faith, you didn’t know for sure.

Other members of Eden’s Gate, who you had never spoken to before came up and greeted you and welcomed you to Eden’s Gate just as Faith had. Some you hadn’t even seen around before and others you had noticed for the first today, inside the church with their notebooks out. They all had warm smiles on their faces, it was almost overwhelming.

[strawberryscorner]

Hey, sorry there hasn't been an update yet but I've had an exam and applying for a visa (which got granted! yay!!🥰).

All of that is done now so I can get back to writing and have an update for you guys soon! 😊

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 12

Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Series Masterlist

John opened the doors to the church and gestured for you to walk in first. Joseph was sitting on a pew in the front talking to Jacob while Faith was rearranging the flowers decorating the wall.

“We were just going to come to you,” Joseph said, standing up as John shut the door behind us. “Were you able to take care of everything?”

“Yeah, but that’s not why we’re here,” said John, gaining odd looks from the rest of his family. “Dawn heard something when she was taken.”

“What did you hear?” Joseph turned his eyes to you; it was like he was devouring your soul.

“People were talking, the Resistance is about to get outside help, some police officers. I don’t know when, they didn’t say. They just said they were coming and that it’d be soon.”

Faith looked bored; Jacob shared a look with John before they both turned their attention to Joseph who looked very calm at hearing the news before finally nodding his head. The only evidence that he had even heard what you had said.

“I knew this time would come; I didn’t know it would be so soon but…We are prepared.” He placed his hands on your shoulders. “Thank you.”

He took a deep breath and excused himself, he needed to prepare for his sermon, needed to change his speech due to this new knowledge. Faith smiled at you, glared at John then left with Joseph, saying she wanted to discuss if the flowers needed changing as well.

“Someone’s waiting to confess,” Jacob told John. “I need to get back to training those soldiers so they’re ready for what’s coming.”

Jacob left you both and John took you to where he held his confessions. There was a man waiting there with his head down, looking at the ground in shame.

“Stay here,” John said and went to take the man’s confession. You were pacing outside the door, you could hear the man crying, you weren’t sure if it was from shame or whatever John was doing to him. You prayed it was from shame.

You almost started biting your nails again but shook your head, that wasn’t a habit you needed to start. You needed to think about what you would do. Would you stay and fight with Eden’s Gate? They’d done so much for you after the accident, Faith and Jacob seemed like friends now, John too or at least something close to friends. Joseph still scared you though.

But now with the Resistance getting help to stop, possibly kill all these people, you couldn’t leave them. You had to stay, which meant you’d have to confess and be baptised. All you could do was hope John wouldn’t hold you under the water too long like he seemed to have a tendency to do sometimes.

You had to think back, had you done something to make John that mad? Or would he just dip you and it would be over quickly and nicely? You were still wearing his clothes, so he couldn’t be too mad at you, right? You didn’t think you’d share your clothes with someone you were mad at.

The door swung open which pulled you from your thoughts, the man stumbled out, holding some cloth to his stomach and thanking John. You were sure the cloth was turning red as they said goodbye. Hopefully, there were doctors around he could see.

“I want to confess,” you said. John looked at you in surprise.

“Think you remember that much?” You nodded, not entirely sure but you had to do this. You remembered enough. He smiled softly, tilting his head. “Ready to commit to the family?”

That made you pause for a second, were you ready to commit to the family? Were you rushing into this? But the way he was looking at you, you felt yourself nodding, you were ready. If it were Joseph, you weren’t sure your answer would have been yes, but John’s gaze was very different from Joseph’s. John’s seemed to calm you and pull you back into yourself when you wanted to flee.

“Yes. I’m ready.”

He nodded once and held the door open wider for you to enter the room. It wasn’t pleasant. It made you want to run away; it looked like nothing good could come from this room. But then he placed his hand on your arm and guided you to the chair near a desk. The chair wasn’t comfortable, just a plain wooden chair. John kept his eyes on yours, not saying a word, letting you start when you were ready.

You took a deep breath; you weren’t sure what your sins were. You had taken lives, but it was in duty, you weren’t sure if that counted as wrath or any other sin but that wasn’t your job, that was John’s. So, you’d let him figure it out, you’d just confess.

You started off by telling him some of the other war stories you had shared with Jacob, the ones that were bloodier and more violent, less pleasant. The ones that made you wish you could forget them again. You kept your eyes on your hands that were clenched into fists on your lap as you told your confessions, tears forming in your eyes, but you kept going until you felt a hand gently brush against your cheek. You looked up and John smiled softly at you, letting you go on.

Once you were finished with your stories, he asked if you had confessed everything, and you shook your head. You started to tell him about the jealousy you had felt seeing families around the ranch or when you visited Faith’s or the church. You missed yours so much even if you couldn’t remember then still, you missed family, you saw what family was and you wanted it back. You were mad at the one who took your family away from you, you were mad at God for taking them away from you so quickly, so easily. You wanted a family; you wanted your family.

“Now, I’m done,” you said, looking at him, scared, of what you weren’t sure. Scared of what he thought of you now? Scared of what he was going to do to you now that the confessions were done? A mix of both?

“There are three sins I sense in you, princess,” he said, picking something up from the table. “But for today, let’s just focus on one and we’ll see if you can control the other two.”

He got on his knees in front of you, lifting the shirt covering your hip and asked you to hold it up for him, which you did. You closed your eyes, not wanting to see whatever was in his hand or what he was going to do. You jumped slightly when you felt a stabbing pain above your hip. He shushed you gently, trying to get you to be still as he finished.

“All done,” he said, and you looked down at the word envy bleeding above your hip. You felt a wave of shame and guilt wash over you. How dare you be jealous of families? Was everyone meant to lose theirs just because you did? No, this wasn’t fair to them and certainly not to you. Now that you’ve confessed and gotten branded by your sin, you could learn to move on.

John held his hand out, you placed yours in his and he helped you up to your feet before straightening your shirt, so you were properly covered. “You did good,” he said gently.

His words turned your cheeks a shade of pink and filled your body with a warmth that fought back the shame and guilt that had surfaced earlier. “Thank you,” you said, unable to hold eye contact.

“Let’s go home,” he said, placing your arm in his, leading you to the door.

***

Back at the ranch, there was a box waiting inside by the couch. John told you to go upstairs, and he carried the box, walking behind you to the bedroom. Once inside, you were unsure what to do so you just sat on the bed and watched John.

“These should all fit,” he said, placing the box on the floor near you and crouching down, pulling out dresses in various colours and cuts and placing them besides you on the bed. Your eyes grew wider with each item he pulled out, it was almost never-ending. It didn’t seem that big of a box at all.

“Try them on and we’ll see if we need to replace any,” he said, helping you back to your feet even though you were more than capable to do that by yourself. You hadn’t injured your legs.

You looked around and there wasn’t another room to sneak off to so I could change and he didn’t move, he just kept his eyes on you and sat on the bed.

“Aren’t you going to…I don’t know, leave? Or something?” you asked, causing him to chuckle and shake his head.

“Once again, this is my room princess, you can’t kick me out and don’t worry, I’m just here to make sure everything fits well, if it’ll make you feel better, I can cover my eyes,” he suggested while covering his eyes with his hands.

You tilted your head and watched him before waving your hand in front of his face, when he didn’t react you decided to just trust him. After all, he did think you were abducted by the Resistance from the safety of the ranch while under his care, this was probably just fear it might happen again considering Joseph most likely wouldn’t be pleased to hear a repeat of the incident. John would probably be stuck to you even more now.

You winced a bit as you lifted your shirt off, the motion causing your envy mark to stretch. You noticed John peeking through his fingers at the sound of you wincing but didn’t say anything, he was unbearable enough without trying to defend or deny his actions. You slipped on dress after dress. John praised you in each one, letting you know how beautiful you looked in them or how well they suited you. All of them fit, and all of them covered you well, not making you feel too exposed or vulnerable. The only issue was, how were you meant to help fight what was coming in dresses? Though, you supposed if Faith could, so could you with the military training you had forgotten you had.

Once all the dresses had been tried on, John hung them in his wardrobe. It was hitting you that he really wasn’t letting you move out of the ranch, or into another room, you passed a few doors on your way to this one. At least one had to be another bedroom, but it seemed like you were staying here.

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 11

Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Series Masterlist

You were biting your nails, staring at the clock while sitting on the couch.

“That’s a bad habit, you really shouldn’t start,” John said, looking at your finger in your mouth. You placed your hands on your lap, squeezing them into fists as the anxiety bubbled in your chest.

It was soon time for you to go meet Adelaide and so far, you’d heard nothing to hint at Nick Rye’s promised distraction. Your leg started to bounce slightly, you hoped he wouldn’t notice. If he did, he’d know something was up and you’d surely be punished. Who knew how long it’d be until you could see Adelaide or anybody else if you were caught?

Just as you were about to grab a pillow to scream in, an explosion went off, followed by gunshots and the static of someone trying to reach John on the radio. You tried to keep the smile from creeping on your face, happy John was now rushing to the window to see what had happened. He was talking to whoever was on the radio before turning to you.

“Stay here,�� he said. “Do not go anywhere!”

Then he grabbed a gun and ran out of the door, leaving you in his living room wondering when the best time to leave would be. You didn’t have to think about it for long since almost as soon as John’s car left the driveway, three resistance members burst through the door, all pointing their guns at you. You held your hands up.

“Whoa, hold on, I’m unarmed. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Relax, we’re here to take you to Adelaide.” A man you didn’t recognize said.

The one who spoke stayed in front of you, while the other two went behind you, pushing your back with their guns. Clearly making it look like you had no choice but to go with them in case a Seed brother or Eden’s Gate member happened to see you leave or at least that’s what you told yourself. The guns pushing against your back and the bullet wound to your shoulder made it hard to trust them.

The door fell off its hinges when the one in front of you took to you to where Adelaide was…Hopefully was.

The two guns against your back pushed you into the barn, it was empty apart from Adelaide standing in the middle, looking at you. With the light coming in from the window and the way she took so tall, watching you stumble into the room, you couldn’t help but think she somehow reminded you of Joseph at this moment.

“You wanted to see me?” you asked.

“I did, I couldn’t find anythin’ about your parents or what really happened to them,” she said, you felt your chest tighten. Of course not, seemed you’d just have to trust what you saw. Hurk killed your parents. The Seed family and Eden’s Gate were saving you, giving you another chance at a family.

“Is that why I needed to be brought here by gunpoint?”

She scoffed, smiling. “No, that ain’t why. I got some news, we’re getting help from the outside, police force. To help stop the fuckin’ cult.”

“Police? Really?” She nodded. “When?”

“Don’t know that much, just now it’s comin’.”

“Why are you telling me? Aren’t I just…a fucking Peggie?”

You were worried that’s all she saw you as, a lot had happened since your last conversation, you had fought beside the Eden’s Gate, you had been shot in the shoulder as an Eden’s Gate member by a member of the Resistance but your question caused her to laugh.

“Nah, you ain’t just some fuckin’ Peggie, Dawn.” She shook her head. “You’re a good kid, you’re just caught up in our shit. So, I’m tellin’ you so you know, if you want to come back to us, we welcome you, if you want to just try runnin’ away and putting everything behind you, that’s okay too. But if you stay with them, you may get hurt. I can’t protect you if you still look like you’re with them.”

You didn’t know what you’d do. You knew you couldn’t go back to them, not after what they did to your family. But should you stay with Eden’s Gate or try to run away? That was what you were trying to do, right? You wanted to run away from John’s bed, but did that mean you wanted to leave Eden’s Gate?

“Do you have any news?” Adelaide asked, you figured you were quiet for too long.

“I had a dream, it felt like a memory…maybe.”

You explained your dream, keeping the fact you may be called Y/N to yourself.

“I don’t know what to do,” you said.

“I reckon you tell military man.”

“Military man? Jacob? You want me to tell a Seed, one of the men you hate?”

“The brothers are pretty fun, at least John and Jacob, especially John…Either way, he has the same past. Maybe he can help you make sense of it all, maybe he can teach you a thing or two, see if this really is a memory or nothing more than a dream.”

Some part of that made sense. Just because it felt real doesn’t mean it was real. It could just be a dream. You had to speak to Jacob.

***

You burst through the door, Jacob stopped what he was doing and looked up at you, tossing the file in his hands on the table in front of him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had a dream,” you said.

“Okay? Good for you.”

“No, not good for me,” you paused. “Maybe good for me, I don’t know!”

“Have you told John?” He asked. You shook your head. “And why not? You’re in his care.”

“Because I think it was a memory, not a dream, and you’re the one that will understand it the best.”

“What does that­­­­­­­­-” He cut himself off and then smirked at me.

“No, nothing pornographic,” you complained causing him to laugh, which surprised you.

“Not what I thought but good to know where your head’s at,” he said, smiling. “You were military?”

“I don’t know…I think so.”

He sat down and gestured to the chair in front of him, you took and it and started telling him about your dream.

“So, you think you’re Y/N?” Jacob asked.

“Maybe, I don’t know, it felt so…real.”

“It would explain how you can shoot so well, not a hunter or some random evil killer but a trained soldier.”

You did prefer that theory to the evil killer one.

“I’m not calling you Y/N,” he said.

“That’s fine.”

He stayed with you for a while, talking about what he went through in the military and explaining the terms and weapons you saw in your dream. Things kept clicking, you remembered faces. You told him about them as you remembered them, a man holding a knife to your throat only for a bullet to destroy half his face before he fell to the ground. A civilian woman crossing the road and you helped her, shooting the enemy as they tried to hurt her, or you.

He had plenty of unpleasant stories, as he told them, it turned out you had plenty of unpleasant stories of your own to tell. Slowly, his stories were helping you remember more and more of your own. The longer you two spoke, the more clear it became to both of you that this was a memory and not an oddly real dream.

Your talk was cut short by static filling the room, Jacob grabbed his radio when John started speaking. He explained how the Resistance attacked near the ranch and when he went home, you were gone but some Eden’s Gate members had seen the Resistance take you.

“She’s here,” Jacob said.

“She’s where?”

“With me, she’s in one piece. I’ll bring her back,” He turned the radio off before John could say anything. “Didn’t tell me they took you.”

“I got away, they took me to an abandoned barn, it was safer to run here than back to the place being attacked.”

He seemed to accept your excuse and gestured for you to walk towards the door. Somehow, Jacob walking behind you felt better than the two Resistance members. Sure, they held a gun against your back and Jacob wasn’t, but he wasn’t unarmed, and he wasn’t harmless – unarmed or not. Yet, you were sure he wouldn’t do anything to you.

***

Once your feet hit the ground, arms wrapped around your middle, pulling you into a hug.

“Thank God,” said John.

“I’m okay, I got away,” you said.

As odd as hugging him was, his arms felt nice… He felt strong and safe. Which were odd thoughts for you to have of John, the Baptist. The man you’d eventually have to confess to, that thought still scared you plenty though.

“What happened? I came back and you were gone, people said they saw you be taken away by gunpoint.”

“Yeah, they took me to a barn. I managed to get away and I ran to the Veterans Centre. I thought be safer to go there.” John nodded; he was also buying your story.

“She had a pretty interesting dream,” Jacob said, leaning against the car with a smirk on his face. “I’m going to head to Joseph, let him know about the attack.”

He got back in the car, you wanted to stop him. To warn him about what Adelaide had said but you kept your mouth shut and let him drive off.

“A dream? Would that be the bad dream the other night?” He asked, following you into the house.

“It wasn’t so much a dream, but a memory.”

“You remembered something?” his voice was softer when he asked that. It sounded nice, making you smile softly. You were glad he was behind you still, so he didn’t see it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know if it was anything yet. When I got to the Veteran’s Centre, I thought if I spoke to Jacob about it, I could figure out what it meant. Was it a dream, was it real?”

“And?”

“It was real, very real.” He gave you a go-on look as you sat on the couch, and you explained your memory for the third time today. You kept it to the memory that came to you in the dream, you decided he didn’t need to hear the gruesome war stories you and Jacob were sharing. But you let him know that more memories of war came back to you when you spoke to Jacob.

“Y/N…” He tilted his head. “Princess suits you better.” He decided.

You still weren’t sure how you felt about getting another name, even if it was your old one, so you didn’t mind him deciding to keep calling you princess.

“There’s something else, not another memory but something else that happened when I was taken…” You weren’t sure why you were telling him; you weren’t sure you had made the decision to stay yet but there was something about his blue eyes staring at you that made you feel the need to confess…Something.

“Yes?”

“I overheard a conversation taking place in the barn…”

[strawberryscorner]

So I might be late to post an update to the fanfiction. I recently submitted a short story to an anthology and I got an email today letting me know it was rejected and I'm just too upset, I was going to write more today but just don't feel up for it.

Hopefully, I won't be late with an update and it'll be here this week or next but I'm not sure yet. I'm sorry but thank you all for the support on the fanfiction so far, it's been amazing and so much more than I ever thought there'd be, thank you so much! 💖

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 10

Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Series Masterlist

You opened your eyes; hope filled your chest when you didn’t see John on his side of the bed but then you turned around. John was sitting on his desk, his pen scribbling away on a piece of paper.

“What are you doing?” you asked, your voice heavy with sleep.

“Writing a letter,” he said, causing you to roll your eyes. I can see that.

“To whom?”

“Nick.” His answer made you frown.

“Nick? The man you were trying to shoot from the sky, Nick?”

“It’s…complicated.” He waved his hand dismissing you, which annoyed you. You reached over and grabbed the paper from under his pen, causing him to groan and demand you give the paper back.

Nick. The Collapse I talked to you about has started, I know you want to protect YOUR FAMILY. The only way to do this is by joining OUR FAMILY. Our bunkers have everything Kim & Baby Rye will need to survive. There are dozens of expecting mothers and children here already with us. This is my final plea to you. Say YES. John Seed

“Is this really a plea or a threat?” you asked.

“Like I said, it’s complicated.”

You wanted to ask more about the things in the letter, the collapse, but static filled the room before you could open your mouth. Someone was calling him away again before he could deliver his letter. You started tapping it against your fingertips.

“What is it?” You looked up at him, cluelessness written all over your face. “I can see your brain working, what it is?”

“You’re being called away again,” you said, he nodded. “I can deliver the letter to Nick, make sure he gets it.”

“Do I look dumb to you?”

“I don’t think you want me to answer that,” you mumble, hiding your mouth behind the letter and he narrows his eyes at you before he sighs.

“Promise you’ll just go and drop the letter off?”

“I promise.”

“And you’ll be here when I get back?”

“Well, I don’t know when you’ll be back…”

He ran his fingers through his hair and looked up at the ceiling, mumbling to himself before returning his attention to you. “All right, you can play postman, but you’ll drop the letter off and come right back. Got it?”

“Got it.” You smiled and went to get dressed. He mumbled something about making a terrible mistake before walking out to do whatever he needed.

You managed to find a shirt long enough to work as a not-too-short dress. You really needed to ask John when you could leave his house, or if you could get some of your clothes there. Once outside, you saw there were no cars, you’d have to walk. You looked down at the letter in your hand, please don’t live too far away.

***

You stood outside Nick Rye’s door; the walk was longer than you wanted, so you waited until you caught your breath before knocking.

“Who are you?” A man’s voice called out from behind you.

You spun around to face a bearded man in a flannel shirt with cut-off sleeves over a blue t-shirt. “I’m looking for Nick Rye.”

“Well, you found him.” He eyed you suspiciously. “What can I do for you?”

You held the letter out in front of you. “This is for you.”

“From?”

“John Seed.”

“Not interested.” He walked past you, brushing your injured shoulder making you wince and unlocked his door.

“Please take it,” you said, grabbing his arm to stop him from walking into his house.

“Nick is that you?” A pregnant woman came towards the door.

“Kim, stay inside,” Nick told her.

You stepped in front of Nick and spoke to the woman, “You must be Kim, I have a letter from John Seed for Nick.”

Kim looked at her husband, who sighed behind you as she walked forward, took the letter from your hand, and looked behind you. “How did you get here?”

“I walked.”

“Nick will drive you back.”

“No, I won’t.” She gave him a stern look and he sighed. “Fine, get in the truck.”

“Thank you,” you said and followed Nick to his truck.

You expected the drive to be quiet, but it wasn’t. Nick was in a chatty mood, asking you why John wrote the letter and why he sent you instead of coming himself. You explained how you had requested to deliver it and Nick laughed.

“Just felt like going for a walk, eh?”

“He took the car.” And I don’t know if I can drive.

“I’m not sure I should be saying this, not with how close you seem to be getting to John if you’re going out on delivery runs for him but,” he paused and quickly glanced at you before nodding himself, “Adelaide wants to speak to you. Tomorrow. She asked us to keep a look out for you, she didn’t want to radio you in case she got you in trouble.”

Considering John hadn’t left you alone much since you woke up, you were relieved she hadn’t radioed. You told Nick you’d meet her. Memorising where he told you she’d be waiting for you and at what time.

“But how will I be able to get away from John?”

“Leave that to me.” He smirked.

Nick didn’t drive you all the way to the ranch, in case John was home. You said goodbye to Nick, repeating where you’d be meeting Adelaide and went to the ranch. On the way, you decided walking wasn’t your favourite pastime.

Once you reached the ranch’s front door, John’s car came speeding to the house. His eyes go to your empty hands when he’s out of the car then scanned your clothing choice, his eyes staying on your legs until you cleared your throat.

“Went well?”

“He accepted the letter, well, his wife did.”

He seemed to accept this answer since he held his hand up, gesturing for you to walk into the house.

“How much longer am I staying here? I’m sure you want your house back.”

“As long as you need to, you’re still healing.”

You wanted to argue that you were fine, but your shoulder still stung a bit from when Nick brushed past you for his door, so you accepted your fate and new temporary home.

“Can I at least go and get some more of my own clothes since you threw the only ones I had on me.”

“It was covered in blood and had a bullet hole, what else was I meant to do?” He continued when you didn’t fight back. “I’ll get someone to bring some things over, but now, I’m making dinner.”

Dinner? It’s not that late yet. You checked the clock on the wall, and it was. The walk to Nick’s was a lot longer than you thought it had been, but you also got lost a few times, and distracted by cute animals along the way as well which didn’t help keep the walk short.

“Also, can I learn to drive?”

“No.”

“Oh, come on, you guys have Jacob teaching me how to shoot but I can’t learn to drive? Pretty sure I could do more damage with a gun than a car.”

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

“That’s all I ask.”

He scoffed and returned to grabbing whatever he needed to make whatever he was planning on cooking for dinner. You sat on the couch and returned to reading the romance book that he pulled you away from the previous day.

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 9

Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Series Masterlist

When you woke up, John wasn’t in bed. You smiled as the thought of being alone in the house filled your head. You slowly got out of bed and crept towards the door. You made your way to the stairs when the sound of sizzling and the smell of food finally hit you. Shit, not alone.

You could see the front door from where you were standing. You weren’t even sure where you were going to go, you somewhat knew the way back to Jacob’s. While it was a longer walk than you wanted to do, he felt safer than John and the threat of confessions.

You took one more step, deciding you could make the trip to Jacob but the floor creaked. You heard John chuckle.

“Stop sneaking around and come down for breakfast since you’re already out of bed.”

You sighed and went down the stairs.  The kitchen wasn’t decorated as extravagantly as the rest of the house, it was simple…It was nice. Everything else was over the top like he was trying to prove something with his decorating.

The two of you ate breakfast in silence. He watched you but not as intensely as last time, which was good. It made eating easier. The food was just as delicious as the day before, which made you glad you were with John instead of Jacob. But once you were full of food, you’d have to leave… Maybe you could return during mealtimes?

“Can Faith come around today?” you asked once you were done with your food.

“No, she’s busy,” John took your plate. “Things weren’t going so well over there, remember?”

You nodded. She was having issues with her Angles.

“It’s just nice having her around. Maybe I could go around there and help?”

“You don’t need to be around all that…Bliss,” He hissed. “Besides, your shoulder is too injured.”

“It’s not for the Bliss,” you defended. “It’s just nice having another girl around. I could always braid your hair otherwise.”

His hands stopped moving as he sighed. “I’ll see if she has time to stop by sometime in the week.” Then he got back to the dishes.

“Thank you.”

“Just go back to bed.”

“Nope.” You got up and walked out the front door. You didn’t go anywhere, you just stood there, breathing in the fresh air and taking in your surroundings. You just didn’t want to go back to his bed.

The space in front of you was huge, seemed like whatever his interior decorating was trying to prove, so was the outside. You could hear John calling for you to come back inside but instead, you walked away.

You walked until you found a silver plane. It was pretty but you had no clue how to fly one…I think…You were pretty sure you couldn’t fly one. And you weren’t willing to find out.

“What are you going to do? Fly away from the bed?” John asked, coming up behind you.

“No,” you scoffed. “I probably don’t even know how to fly, it’s not like that’s common knowledge…Right?”

“No. No, it’s not.” He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Then you’ve got nothing to worry about.” You shrugged. “I was just looking…Do you know how to fly?”

He nodded. “It is my plane. Maybe I can take you for a ride one day but for now, you need to heal.” He took your hand and you allowed yourself to be led back into the house. “No more walking off.”

He stood at the bottom of the stairs, gesturing for you to go ahead.

“I don’t want to go back to bed,” you said, sitting down on the couch and crossing your arms loosely over your chest.

He raised his eyebrow. “Fine.”

He sat down next to you and picked up a book from the table in front of you both before handing it to you and picking one up for himself. You accepted the book, trying to hide your smile when you saw it was another romance book.

“You seem to have a lot of these,” you said, leaning back.

“It’s a…popular genre,” he said before clearing his throat and focusing on the book which he randomly opened somewhere in the middle.

You started reading the romance, it wasn’t a Christian one like the one he gave you last night, so you enjoyed this one more. Until you got to chapter three, where you started reading a love-making scene sitting next to mister-do-not-sin. Your body stiffened from the awkwardness of that realisation but hoped he didn’t notice as you continued to read the scene. What? It was well written.

Halfway through the love-making scene you were reading, John sighs and slams his book shut, causing you to jump slightly.

“This is boring, how are you bored?” He asked.

“Who said I’m not bored?” You weren’t. You were enjoying your book.

“You were smiling at the pages.” He studied your face. “And you’re blushing. What were you even reading?” He tried to peek over the book, to read your still open book.

You quickly press it to your chest. “I thought you didn’t like reading…Just a popular genre, right?”

He glared at you while humming before throwing his book back on the table. “Let’s go.” He stood up and walked towards the front door.

You placed your book down, memorising what page you were on and followed him. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to leave?”

“Well, you bored me into changing my mind.”

“You’re the one you decided to read,” you defended as he opened the car door for you.

You hesitated for a second before getting in the car, you watched him walk around the front to the driver’s seat as you put your seatbelt on. Odd man.

“Where are we going?” You asked once he had his seatbelt on.

“Faith’s.”

You smiled and leaned back, relaxing in the seat before turning your head to look at him. “Thank you.”

The drive was quiet apart from the radio playing one of John’s sermons on a low volume. You weren’t sure whose sermons you preferred. You preferred that you didn’t have to sit on an uncomfortable pew in the church to listen to John’s sermons, but his were so much longer than Joseph’s that you weren’t sure it was worth it. They went on for several hours, and you wondered if he ever got tired of listening to his own voice but decided he didn’t. John loved listening to the choir songs written about him and seemed to enjoy listening to his sermons. You could tell which parts were his favourite as he mouthed a few lines along to the radio. He’s out of his mind, I’m in the car with a madman.

You were too busy studying his reaction to himself to notice he had stopped the car.

“We’re here,” he said with a smirk once he saw you staring at him.

You quickly tore your eyes from his face and looked out the window, you were at a greenhouse. You got out of the car after him, your eyes scanning the area for Faith, but she was nowhere to be found.

“She’s here somewhere, don’t worry,” John said, placing your hand on his arm, guiding you to the greenhouse.

“Are you sure?”

“This is where she told me she’d be,” he held the door open for you.

You were only able to get one foot into the greenhouse before two arms wrapped around your neck and a woman’s sweet giggle filled your ears.

“Hello, Faith,” you said, relaxing in her arms.

“I’m so glad you could make it,” she said, releasing you from the hug before taking your hand and walking you into the greenhouse. She told you about what they were doing before you arrived, how the Bliss grew and what they were going to do with it.

The scent of Bliss had made your mind fog up and it was hard for you to follow everything Faith was saying, especially with the speed in which she was speaking but you thought you had caught most of it.

You felt John’s eyes on you the entire time Faith was dragging you around the plants, his hand twitching towards you any time you got close to the flowers but falling to rest by his side when you stepped back. Once again, the siblings had you torn, you wanted to stay close to Faith and her flowers and their calming effect, but you also wanted to walk out of the greenhouse, breathe in the fresh air and clear your head from the Bliss’ effects. You hadn’t had a proper thought since Faith hugged you. While you didn’t think you enjoyed being unable to form a thought, you still preferred being around Faith to the brothers. It’s nice having another woman around.

She was still speaking but you could no longer hear her, you could barely stand on your own as you leaned into her side, and she held you up. You dared glance over to John; he was standing with his arms crossed over his chest and his jaw clenched tight.

“Are we getting ready to step outside now? Look her, Faith, this is too much, she can’t even stand on her own.”

“She’s fine, John.” Faith rolled her eyes, stroking your hair. “She’s just enjoying her time with her friend.”

Her voice was so sweet and her touch so light, very different from John always dragging you places with his rough hands or Jacob placing heavy weapons in your hands or Joseph’s scary smile. Sweet and light…it was nice. You looked up at Faith and the two of you giggled together, lost in your own little Bliss-filled world then you felt John’s rough hand wrap around your wrist and pull you from her side and into his.

“It’s too much,” he said before turning and leading you outside of the greenhouse. You whined in his arms and tried to look back at Faith. She wasn’t far behind you, calling John mean and controlling.

He didn’t stop walking once he left the greenhouse, guiding you back to the car, far away from any flowers. The air felt different, he had you lean against the car so you could stand on your own. Faith kept trying to get near you, but John held his arm out, keeping her at a distance. You held your hand out, trying to reach her and he used his free hand to swat yours back to your side then he held your chin up, making you look into his icy blue eyes.

“Focus on me, princess. Come back to me,” he said. Based on the worried look on John’s face, it was taking longer than he was comfortable with for you to come back. But his hand on your face, the intensity of his eyes staring into yours and his voice were enough to slowly soothe you back to reality, clearing your mind from the Bliss.

“I’m back,” you said weakly, almost confused by the whole situation as Faith kept hurling insults at the man. As your eyes cleared up, his body relaxed which allowed Faith to push his arm away from her and grab your hand. His hand went to your shoulder so she couldn’t move you from where you stood.

“You’re awfully controlling, John, she was fine! Why do you all keep taking her from me? What did I do? I’m the only one who’s actually trying to be her friend!”

The last sentence caused John’s jaw to clench for the second time that day, “you know Joseph doesn’t want her too Blissed.” His voice was tense, and his hand was tightening slightly on your shoulder, causing you to wince since it was the injured one. He noticed and removed his arm.

“Had enough girl time?” He asked you, reaching for the door handle. You didn’t say anything, everything about his body language and the tone of his voice told you that the answer was yes, you had had enough girl time and it was now time to leave.

Faith was still mad at him as he helped you get into the car, once the door was shut, John spoke to Faith. He kept his voice low so you couldn’t hear what he told her, but you could hear her telling him he was being too harsh, all three of them were and she wanted to know why they were punishing her for nothing. He just moved around her and made his way to the driver’s seat.

His sister waved sadly to you as he drove off. You were sad you had to leave soon, you had just gotten there but then the lights from the digital clock of the car caught your attention. You had been there for hours. You were so sure it was only minutes.

“You’re not going back,” John said, keeping his eyes on the road.

“What if I need to?”

“Why? Why would you need to?”

“What if there’s an emergency.”

He sighed. “If there’s an emergency, then maybe you can go back. But otherwise, you’re not going back to the Henbane Region, it’s off-limits. And you’re not going around her without me there, got it? She’s not as innocent as she makes herself out to be.”

“Got it.” You didn’t feel like now was the time to argue. You had been very affected by the Bliss. You didn’t know what kind of consequences there might be for that, so you’d take not being allowed to enter Henbane Region or seeing Faith on your own. Those consequences seemed like he was letting you off easy so you accepted them and hoped there wouldn’t be more.

[strawberryscorner]

I love this so much, especially Jacob's and John's 😆

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Series

Summary: You get in a car accident on your way through Montana with your family. You wake up in a bunker with amnesia, not even remembering your own name.

Now, you have a choice, join The Resistance or Eden's Gate.

Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Let me know if I missed one.

This story is also being posted on Ao3.

Parts:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15 (currently writing)

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 8

Series Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Series Masterlist

You woke up on a soft bed, looking at a chandelier made of antlers. You tried to turn your head to look around the room but a pain in your shoulder caused you to hiss. You raised your hand to touch your shoulder, but a hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” John moved your hand back down to your side.

“Where am I?”

“My ranch.” He sat down on the bed. “Do you remember anything?”

“Scared I got another round of amnesia?”

That caused him to smirk slightly before picking up his radio and telling Joseph that you were awake and seemed okay. Once you heard Joseph’s voice respond, your mind shut him out, focusing on your surroundings. The bed was soft, with blue satin sheets, and the ceiling was a soothing cream colour around the dark chandelier. Your mind was pulled back to reality as John pulled your sleeve down.

“What are you doing?” You tried pulling the sleeve back up as you moved up to an almost sitting position. As you did, you noticed the sleeve doesn’t belong to anything you own. You were in a man’s button-up shirt.

He pushed your good shoulder gently, making you lay down again. “I’m cleaning your wound, or do you want it to get infected?”

You shook your head. “When did I get a change of clothing?”

“Your top was too tight and soaked in your blood, Dawn, I had to take it off,” he explained, gently pulling the sleeve off your shoulder again. “Now, this may hurt.”

Before you could protest, he started gently dabbing a wet washcloth on your wound causing you to hiss out in pain. He offered you a sympathetic look before turning his focus back onto your shoulder.

“How long have I been out for?” you asked to distract yourself from the pain.

“Only a day. Do I frighten you?” He asked, his voice laced with amusement.

“No.” You lied.

“Then why are you trembling?”

“I-It’s cold.”

He smirked and dried your shoulder before moving you so he could wrap a bandage around it. He slowly buttons up your shirt. “Stay here, I’m going to get you something to eat before the others get here.”

Before the others get here, so maybe I should’ve paid attention to the Father’s response…

Once the door shut, you sat up in the bed, it was bigger than you expected. The whole room was. You pulled your legs up to your chest, hugging your knees to your body. You were still wearing pants, thank God. After waiting and listening for a few minutes, you decided that John wasn’t going to return anytime soon and got out of bed. Dizziness took over once you got to your feet, causing you to fall back onto the bed. You sat for a few seconds before trying again.

Exploring the room, you realised you weren’t in a spare room. You were in John’s room, in his bed, in his shirt. Part of you wanted to rip the shirt off your body but the other part, the one that won, told you it was better to stay covered in front of the Seed brother.

You heard footsteps coming up the steps, you hesitated but got back into the bed, pulling the covers up then worry filled you. You had seen what Jacob fed people in his care, what kind of food would John be handing you? Would you be able to force it down and if you couldn’t, what would he do to you?

John entered the room carrying a tray.

“I’m not hungry,” you mumbled quickly, scared of whatever the so-called food might be.

“Tough,” he said, placing the tray over your legs.

There was a tall glass of orange juice, a plate of eggs and bacon. You looked up at him and then back to your plate, this was not what you were expecting.

“Thank you,” you said and picked up the fork.

He nodded his response and sat down on the foot of the bed. It was awkward to eat with him watching you. You hoped he’d leave, keep an eye on the door in case his brothers came but no. He stayed and watched you the whole time.

“Are you hungry?”

He shook his head. “Not at all, keep eating. They’ll be here soon.”

 You tried to keep your focus on the food, ignoring the man in front of you. You hadn’t had bacon in so long, you closed your eyes and hummed when you finally took a piece. When you opened your eyes, you saw John staring at you with an eyebrow raised.

“The food is nice,” you said, your cheeks turning pink. “Thank you.”

Once you were finished with your food, John took the tray from your lap. “Don’t leave the bed this time,” he said before exiting the room. How did he know?

You thought back, you didn’t remember your footsteps being particularly loud. Looking around, nothing seemed to be too out of place or unlike how you remember it before you got out of bed. You looked up at the ceiling, trying to find a camera but found nothing. You wanted to get search for a camera but didn’t want to risk getting out of bed and having to deal with whatever the consequences could be.

You didn’t have to wait long before you heard voices coming towards the door. It flung open and Faith came running in, jumping onto the bed and pulling you into a hug. Her scent instantly surrounded and calmed you.

“Hello, Faith.”

“Are you feeling okay?” She took a hold of your hands.

You nodded, not really sure how you were feeling or if it was anywhere near okay, but the pain wasn’t so bad, so you suppose you didn’t lie. The three brothers entered the room, but they didn’t say anything. Joseph had his eyes trained on Faith, looking disappointed. Jacob gave you a small smile. John’s eyes were jumping between you and Faith.

Faith chattered on about how worried she was when she heard what had happened to you and listed off the things that had happened since you had been stuck in bed. She was talking a lot faster than her usual self, but you assumed that was because she was scared Joseph would stop her. He seemed to like putting distance between you two. You tried your best to follow but at the speed she was speaking, and the way she was sometimes tripping over her words, you struggled.

“All right now, Faith,” Joseph said, making her stop midsentence. “We don’t want to overwhelm her; she just woke up.”

“I’m fine, really,” you said, clinging onto Faith’s hands when you felt her try to pull back.

Joseph nodded slowly then gestured for his brothers to follow him as he exited the room. You patted the space next to you and Faith instantly laid down and continued her story about her region, this time at her own pace. While you were able to follow, you weren’t sure you understood. She was talking about some issues she was having with recent Bliss batches and her Angles. You tried to not ask too many questions because her answers just left you more confused, so instead, you played with her fingers and let her presence relax you. God, I missed her.

Your peace was short-lived as the brothers came back into the room, causing Faith to tense slightly as Joseph’s eyes fell on her. He cleared his throat and she slowly moved off the bed to stand by Jacob.

“You’ll stay here until you’re fully healed,” the Father said.

“Why?” His look made you regret that question. “I just mean, I don’t want to impose, and I have a place to stay and I’m sure John —” Joseph raised his hand.

“John doesn’t mind, you need someone to look after you and make sure you’re still healing and not turning for the worse. You also need a peaceful space to do that and, well, the ranch is a rather peaceful place so it’s best for you to stay here during this time.”

“Thank you,” you said, making sure to look at John. He gave you a smile before escorting his family out of his ranch.

You stayed in the bed, feeling the effects of Faith’s presence slowly fading and your worries resurfacing. You didn’t want to stay here. It didn’t really matter where you were, as long as it wasn’t here. But you couldn’t leave, whatever consequence that would hold scared you too much. So, once again, you stayed in bed.

John returned a few minutes later with a stack of books in his arms. “Thought these might help while you’re stuck in bed for the time being.” He placed them on the bedside table.

“I didn’t take you to be a reader,” you said, honestly.

“I’m not, well, not really. But sometimes it can be fun to take your mind off things,” he admitted, sitting on the bed.

“And you’re a big fan of this one?” You held up a Christian romance novel with many creases on the spine. His cheeks turned a shade of light pink.

“I just grabbed some things I thought you would like.”

You nodded, not really believing him considering how well-read this book clearly was. “Thank you.”

He was going to speak again but static interrupted. Someone was radioing for his help. “I’ll be back later, stay —”

“In the bed, I know.”

“Good girl.” He smirked as he shut the door.

You sighed and sunk further into the pillow behind you. Having no idea what the issue is or when he’d be back, you desperately wanted to get out of bed to explore the rest of the house, but you knew he was able to see inside this room somehow, even if you couldn’t see the cameras. You also weren’t one hundred percent sure you were alone in the house, so instead, you opened the Christian romance novel.

***

You were carrying a rifle, shooting out a window.

“Private Y/N, help me,” a man called out, slamming his body again a door that won’t budge.

You got someone else to cover the window and ran to the man of a higher rank than you. You both started slamming against the door, this time it flew open, and bullets flew through the sky towards you two. You jumped out of the way, taking cover behind the walls. You blindly shot back against the enemy, as the man beside you tossed a grenade into the room.

Men started running from the room, and you both shot them as they ran out. Most were cleared either by the grenade or by leaping out of the window to avoid the explosion or bullets to come.

“Let’s move!” the man yelled, running into the room.

You followed; gun raised in front of you as your heart pounded in your chest. Something felt wrong.

You saw explosives in a crate beside you.

“Don’t —” you tried to stop the man in front of you from opening the door, but it was too late, and you were blinded by an explosion.

***

“Dawn,” a man’s voice called, you felt yourself being gently shaken.

You gasped and shot up as much as you could as he held you in place. “What happened?”

“You were having a bad dream,” John said, slowly removing his arms as you take in your surroundings and relaxed back against the bed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?”

You opened your mouth to answer but couldn’t, so you just shrugged. He sighed and that’s when you noticed he was shirtless. You turned your eyes to your hands on your stomach instead of his bare chest.

“Let’s just…Go back to sleep?” he suggested, and you nodded. He laid down in the bed and closed his eyes and panic raised in your chest.

“What are you doing?”

“Sleeping?” Then he chuckled, realising what you were actually asking. “This is my bed. Where else am I going to sleep, princess?” You could hear the amusement in his voice. “Just go to sleep.”

He had his back turned to you and turned off the lights. You stayed on your back, staring at the ceiling in the dark, unable to see anything.

You couldn’t stop thinking about your dream, who’s life was that and who was Y/N?

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 7

Series Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Series Masterlist

You raised your hand, ready to knock but put it down again. You were too nervous to eat during lunch, your mind was too busy thinking about this moment. You had to do this.

You raised your hand again and knocked on the door. You didn’t want to confess anything to anyone, you wanted to run away but the door opened before you could move.

“Hi,” you said lamely.

“Hello,” Jacob said. “Did Joseph send you?”

“No, I need to speak to you.” You pushed passed him and into the room.

You heard the door shut behind you, no one else was in the room which was good. Maybe you’d be able to get the words out or think clearly enough to know what the words were.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m scared,” you said and started pacing. “Of, well, of everything. But mostly, right now, of how well I can shoot. I mean, what if it’s not just that I know how to shoot, what if I have anger issues? What if I’m a murderer and I don’t even know?” 

You paused and looked at him but he didn’t say anything, so you continued pacing. “What happens if I tell John I’m good at shooting and he makes up some sort of reason, like a murderer, and I get marked up with a sin that might be true but could be totally wrong and I have no clue what it means?”

“Then don’t tell him,” Jacob offered.

“Then I’m a liar.”

He chuckled.

“It’s not funny.”

“No, I know.”

He still looked amused as he walked up to you. He made you sit on a chair. No more pacing which had started to feel like the only thing keeping you from drowning in your worries.

“Look, Joseph and John do usually start pushing confessions somewhat early, but you don’t remember any sins to confess. They can’t push it with you, so relax.”

“But what if I am a murderer?”

“What if you’re a hunter? Or just someone who had an odd hobby?”

You forced your head to focus on his suggestions instead of your anxieties. They made sense, not everyone who knows how to shoot takes people’s lives. There could be so many reasons why a gun felt natural in your hands. Just an odd hobby, yeah.

Jacob pulled you out of your thoughts by clearing his throat. “I have to feed the prisoners, you’re helping me.”

He turned for the door. While you were getting tired of these men always telling you what to do, you had to admit, feeding the prisoners sounded better than him handing you over to John or worse, Joseph. You got up and followed him.

The bowls in your hand contained liquid, some soggy vegetables and a few chunks of odd-looking meat. You didn’t dare ask what the meat was. There was hardly any of the soup in the bowl, you weren’t sure if feeding them was actually helping them or if leaving them to starve on nothing was better.

Someone held the door open, and you followed Jacob into the room. You took the cages on the left side of the wall, some of the prisoners took the bowl, greedily swallowing its contents while others stayed, cowering against the wall, staring at you so you gently placed their bowls on the ground for them to take when they were ready. One of the cages was empty, it had belonged to the man from Eli’s group.

“Where is he?” you asked Jacob.

He shrugged. “Not everyone makes it.”

You wished you had felt something, but you didn’t, you just accepted the fact. It wasn't surprising considering the food they were getting and the injuries on their bodies.

You saw someone didn’t get any food, you didn’t have time to ask why that was as three of Jacob’s men gathered around the cell, one of the went in and grabbed the scared prisoner then dragged him outside.

“What do you do to them?”

“We cull the weak.”

“So, if they survive, they join you?”

“Me, one of the others, it depends.”

 Jacob started walking to another area. You didn’t know what else to do so you went after him. Joseph hadn’t told you to do anything today and since this was the furthest spot you could be from the Father so unless Jacob told you to leave, this was where you would stay.

Jacob grabbed a box filled with various sizes of bloody meat and carried it to a car.

“Get in,” he told you as he placed the box in the back.

Jacob got in the driver’s seat beside you as you put on your seatbelt. “Are we feeding someone else?”

“The Judges,” he said, turning on the car and speeding off. “They did well yesterday, so today, they get treats.” He nodded to the meat in the back.

***

The drive was quiet, he hadn’t even put the radio on. Once he stopped the car, he got out to get the box of meat. You opened the door to exit the car, but a dead body was on the ground. Gross. You had to jump out. The grass was wet with what you assumed was blood as it hadn’t rained so you slipped. Jacob grabbed you with one arm and helped you gain your footing.

“Be careful, dead Angels are everywhere now,” he said. “I don’t know why so many of them are here, they usually stay away. Come on.”

You were nervous to be near the Judges again, but you trusted Jacob knew what he was doing when it came to them and hoped he wasn’t leading you to slaughter. There were Angels scattered on the ground as you walked, some with bullet wounds through their heads and others with claw or bite marks. The bodies were fewer as you got closer to the wolves.

The giant white wolves were laying on the ground, a collar with a long metal chain around their throats, keeping them in place. Jacob set the box down and grabbed a few pieces of meat, telling you to do the same. He walked down a line of Judges and tossed meat at them, so you copied him.

Holding the bloody meat was horrible and you were trying to hold your breath as much as possible while digging your fingers into the meat so it wouldn’t slip. As you tossed the food to the wolves, they’d try to catch it in their mouths, some would succeed while others licked at the meat once it landed on the ground.

Part of you thought it was kind of cute, a group of giant wolves laying down and licking or chewing their food but the other part of you, the part that could still smell the meat, hated it.

“No one else needs feeding, right?”

He was about to answer when his radio went off, “Jacob, we need you.” You heard John’s voice yell over gunshots.

“On our way,” Jacob said before looking at you. “Still have your gun?”

You nodded and he ran to the car, you took off after him.

During the drive, you had time to get nervous and think about what was happening. Eden’s Gate only had one enemy, the Resistance. Jacob asked if you had your gun so clearly, you were expected to fight alongside Eden’s Gate. The thought of having to fight Adelaide nearly made you ask Jacob to stop the car, but you forced yourself to stay quiet. You couldn’t, you had said yes to joining Eden’s Gate. This was your choice. No one forced you.

The gunshots were deafening once you got out of the car, there was a yellow plane in the sky firing down on the people of Eden’s Gate as well. John was shooting up at it, cursing a man named Nick Rye. Jacob took one of his bigger guns out of the car and started shooting any members of the Resistance he could see. You saw one running up behind John, who was too distracted Nick, you pulled up your gun and shot them in the leg causing them to scream as they fell to the ground. John spun around and shot them in the head.

“Don’t be afraid to kill them, you know how,” Jacob said.

You knew he was referring to your perfect shot on that photograph but that was a picture, these are real people. People moved, they weren’t still, just waiting for the bullet like the photo was. People who when shot between the eyes like that, would stay down, making you a killer.

“You won’t get a nasty sin carved into you for protecting us or yourself,” he said. “So, aim to kill, and most importantly, don’t die.”

He ran towards his brother to make sure no one would be able to attack him again since John’s focus was back on Nick Rye.

You couldn’t see anyone you recognised around you; Adelaide was nowhere in sight. So, you raised your gun and started firing at men and women who were trying to sneak up on John and Jacob. You aimed for their heads, missing some and shooting their throat or shoulder. You weren’t as bothered by their blood or their screams as you thought, you were mostly bothered you kept missing what you were aiming for. You could do it; you knew you could. Jacob knew you could and right now, he needed you to do it again. Too many Resistance members were shooting at him and his brother for you to keep missing.

You hear cars driving towards you all, it’s more Eden’s Gate members. Nick Rye goes higher in the sky and flies towards the cars, trying to destroy them before they can help you lower the Resistance member’s numbers.

When you’re focused on the plane, a man from the Resistance runs at you with you a knife, John shot him in the head and the man falls dead at your feet.

“Thank you.”

You picked up the knife from the corpse’s hand, just in case, you thought.

It was like the Resistance members would never run out. Any time they died, more seemed to appear and they were doing a good job at making sure more of Eden’s Gate couldn’t come to your aid. The only things you could hear were gunshots and screams, you could feel your heartbeat picking up and your palms sweating around your gun. You weren’t sure what was happening but as tears stung your eyes and you started hyperventilating, you knew it wasn’t good.

You backed away from the man whom you had just shot, tripping over a corpse behind you and landing on the blood-soaked ground. A woman stood over you, but through the tears and the sun glaring behind her, you couldn’t tell who she was, but you knew she was pointing her gun at you. You stared up at her, preparing for the pain of her bullet. A gun went off, and her head flew back, pulling her to the ground. This caused her gun to go off and you screamed as the bullet ripped through you.

“Dawn!” you heard a man call out, but you passed out before he could get to you.

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 6

Series Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Series Masterlist

You ducked under a window and leaned against the wall before picking up your radio and messing with the stations.

“What ya want, I’m busy over here,” a woman’s voice came through.

“Ad-Adelaide, is that you?”

“Dawn? Holy shit! Are you okay? I heard you became a fucking Peggie. I was so worried they did somethin’ awful to you.”

“No, I’m fine, they’ve been…Good, I guess. No torture.”

“Why’d you join ‘em, kid?” All of a sudden, she sounded tired. “I’ve been trying to think of a reason, but I keep comin’ up blank.”

“I had to. I found out who killed my family, and I just couldn’t come back.”

“You’re with the people who killed them right now!”

“No, I’m not.”

“No? Then who did it?”

You didn’t want to tell her, you couldn’t, “it’s…It’s not important.”

“It is, of course, it is. You lost both your family and mind and now you’re a fucking Peggie. Who did it?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, “Hurk.”

“Hurk? My Hurk? Now, he ain’t the brightest but he don’t go ‘round killing just anybody. No matter what that damn cult leader told you.”

“He didn’t tell me anything, Adelaide, I saw him.” You lean your head back against the wall.

“You saw him? You’re remembering things, Dawn?” Even with what you were accusing her son of, her voice got lighter. You could hear the hope and joy in her voice. It only made you feel worse, for not remembering or for what you were telling her about Hurk, you weren’t sure. You just knew the guilt was not going to be letting go of you anytime soon.

“No, I still don’t remember. Although I found out I know how to shoot a gun. Anyways, no, they showed me a video. I saw Hurk do it.”

You heard her start to speak but someone interrupted, telling her it was time to go. “Alright, just hang on! Look, I need to go fuck up a silo but don’t count us out just yet, okay? I’ll talk to Hurk, I’ll get to the bottom of this, you just stay alive and out of trouble, you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

“Good.”

While you weren’t sure you could trust Hurk or Eli, you were going to keep your word. You weren’t going to give up on Adelaide. There was something about her that made you feel like she was a good one, even if you have only ever spoken to her for a few minutes before today. But you couldn’t think about that now.

Now, you had to think about how you were going to get to the church. Surely you knew the way. You left the building you’re in and walk along the road, you were pretty sure you were going the right way.

This had to be the way.

Except, you’ve already past that house twice before. Haven’t you?

You sigh, sitting down where you stood and pulling up the radio. You fiddle with the channels again, sighing at the static. “Hello?”

“Dawn? Where are you? You should be here by now.”

“I’m lost.”

“Describe your surroundings.” He sounded amused. Bastard.

“There’s a house, it's white, made of wood. Yellow curtains and an ugly black car out front.”

“Anything else?”

“No, there’s just the house.”

“I’m pretty sure I know where you are. Stay there.”

You stay sitting on the road, looking at the radio in your hand and hoping whoever lived in that house wasn’t home or at least hadn’t heard you call their car ugly.

You don’t know how many minutes had passed, you were too busy scolding yourself for not knowing the way. You were so sure you remembered it. Was your memory this bad before the accident? You hadn’t even heard a car stop near you and yet saw a pair of military boots come into your vision. You looked up.

“Hi, Jacob.”

“Get in.” He moved his head in the direction of the car. You got up, dusting your pants off as you walked.

“Thank you for getting me,” you said as you put your seatbelt on. He hummed as he drove off.

***

Joseph Seed was in the middle of a speech as you snuck into the church, you and Jacob now staying in the back. Even with your disturbance, no one turned their head. They all kept their attention on the Father. Well, all but Faith, she had turned to give you a quick smile. You smiled back before leaning against the wall. It didn’t take long before your legs were burning from standing still. Joseph seemed to be dragging this sermon on. You were starting to wonder if contacting Adelaide was worth it, maybe you should have just come here on time so you could have sat down. Listening to his speech was torture enough without having to stand as well. But no, talking to Adelaide was what you needed. Hearing her voice was good, even if parts of your conversation still had you feeling guilty. It was good, maybe she was right about Hurk, or maybe you just needed a mother. Either way, contacting her was worth it, no matter the outcome.

When it was done, Jacob walked you to the front where the others were waiting. Well, Faith and John were waiting, Joseph was talking to the other members of Eden’s Gate who had watched the sermon.

“What took you so long to get here? I was scared you’d miss the whole thing,” said Faith, taking a step toward you but John moved in front of her, stopping her. Clearly, they hadn’t forgiven her for playing among the bliss flowers with you.

“Oh, I got lost.”

“I didn’t let her get lost, so why are you all saying I can’t look after her again?”

“I got her here, didn’t I?” Jacob said. John watched them as they continued to bicker about who made the bigger offence. Watching him reminded you that you still hadn’t received your sin. Hopefully, you’d never get one, but it seemed like everyone had one marking their skin. The most popular one seemed to be Lust.

“What are you thinking about?” John’s voice interrupted your thoughts.

“Lust.” This caused Jacob and Faith to stop their bickering, both looked at you amused. God, you wished these men would stop asking that question and you wished you’d stop answering with one word. “I just mean, it seems to be a popular sin.”

John looked at the man you pointed at, he had ‘lust’ carved on his forearm. “It’s a common one, yeah. Easy to get lost in those thoughts.”

“Have you done a confession yet?” Faith asked.

“No,” you said. While you hoped you’d never have to, it was only a matter of time. You looked at John, scared he might drag you away to wherever he held these confessions, but he smirked.

“You’ll have to stop by soon. I can’t wait to hear all your confessions.”

You felt your cheeks heating up, but you didn’t know why. Were you scared? Sure, but you didn’t know what sins you had committed in the past so what could he possibly mark you with? Forgetfulness?

The men looked at Joseph who was now coming towards you. Faith took this as a chance to get close to you. Instantly her scent affected you. You wanted to lean closer or to hold her hand and keep her close but Jacob moved his body between the two of you. Instantly, you felt colder, the warmth of Faith and her scent fading. Not fair.

“I’m glad you could make it,” Joseph told you.

“I’m sorry I was late.” Joseph just waved his hand, dismissing your apology. But really, you were sorry. Even if no one turned around to stare at you, you hated sneaking in and disturbing the sermon. You also hated standing throughout it. Joseph was talking to Jacob. You weren’t listening to their conversation, mostly looking at the floor since Joseph was the only thing in front of you.

You saw feet moving, they were leaving the church. You followed, not knowing what else to do. Maybe you should have paid some attention to their conversation. You were still in your head when you felt a pair of arms wrap around you. You hug back once you realise it’s Faith.

“I have to go, but we will see each other soon,” she said then ran into a car before the men could complain. But neither noticed, Jacob was getting to a car himself and drove off. John was busy talking to the man with ‘lust’ on his forearm. Joseph would have noticed, he was right beside you, but he didn’t protest what had happened.

You had no clue what to do, or where to go. But you also didn’t want to ask Joseph. There was something about him that still made you feel uneasy. Thankfully, someone pulled him away. His attention was now fully trained on a group of four women, all praising him before asking him questions about the faith. You wanted to roll your eyes but couldn’t, for two reasons. One, one of the women were still looking at you. And two, because you yourself had joined Eden’s Gate. You had become a Peggie. You didn’t regret it, at least, you don’t think you regret it completely, but the sermons were a bit much. The music was good though.

You felt something on your elbow, looking down John was holding your arm again. “Do you know where to go to confess?”

“I don’t remember you showing me that during your tour,” you said, almost praying he wasn’t going to make you confess now. You didn’t look back at the women or Joseph as John started leading the way. He placed your hand on his arm, at this point you weren’t sure if this was just a way to control you or if he was just slightly touch-starved and this was all a trick to feel someone’s hand on him.

“You didn’t look too comfortable back there,” he said.

“What?”

“With Joseph, you looked…Tense.”

“No, I was fine.” You earned a chuckle from him. You felt your cheek twitch like it wanted to smile at the sound.

“You have to get better at lying than that.” You looked at him, he didn’t look angry, he looked relaxed. You doubted Joseph would have been as okay if he were the one to have noticed.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you said mostly to yourself.

***

Once inside the room, he placed you in the centre. You turned around, there wasn’t that much in there at all. There was a chair, an old, somewhat broken wooden workbench with a toolbox on it.

“I don’t expect you to confess right now, but eventually; you’ll feel the need.” The room was dimly lit, but you could still see John clearly as he swung one foot in front of the other, placing his hand on the workbench.

You almost felt the need. You almost wanted to tell him why you were late. You didn’t though. You knew better than that, you had seen the way he held that man down in the river. John clearly didn’t take it well when people acted differently than he thought they should. You needed to stay on his good side, or at least his neutral side.

“So, this where you are all day when I don’t see you?” While you did ask this question to stop thinking about having to eventually confess, you were also genuinely curious. Until this point, you had spent most of your time with one of the Seed family members, but there was still plenty of time when you were left to your own devices. During these times, you’d either think of ways to leave or at least try to find something somewhat fun to do and you’d usually always bump into a Seed, but never John.

“Either here or filming something.”

“Like the video you showed me?”

“Yeah.” You had been woken up at night by the radio turning itself on, and the voice of either John or Joseph preaching filled the room. You’d just sit and listen. It was similar to whatever was said during the sermon, both in its message and the fact that half of it sounded like pure narcissistic nonsense and the other half made some interesting points.

You looked him over; you had never noticed if he had any sins marking him. His arms were littered with tattoos but no sins. Then finally you saw the one on his chest, crossed out. You knew he was watching you the whole time, so you just let your eyes flick past it, not wanting to let your gaze linger on his chest and let his head get bigger than it already was. He opened his mouth to say something but a knock on the door interrupted him.

“What is it?” he said, a man was on the other side. He was skinny, shaking like a leaf as he hugged himself.

“I need to confess,” the man said. John stepped aside to let the man in.

“Maybe the next time we meet, you’ll be ready to confess,” he said as you walked past him. You hoped not.

“Maybe.” You smiled.

You didn’t know where to go. You didn’t know anyone outside of the Seed brothers and Faith, neither of their guides included introducing you to people. Peggies were rushing all around you, having various jobs or places to be. You almost felt jealous. You had no job, no place to be, and no family to go back to. All you could do was hope Adelaide would tell you Hurk didn’t kill your parents, but then what? You kicked a stone as you walked, feeling tears of frustration stinging your eyes.

You made your way to Jacob. You might not be able to confess to John, and you might not be able to remember the family you were grieving but you could, for some reason, shoot a gun so that’s what you were going to do. You burst through the door, too frustrated to care about the soldiers who jumped and were now staring at you as you walked across the corridor. You were looking for Jacob. They didn’t matter.

You didn’t have to look for long, it seems someone had alerted Jacob a mad woman had stormed in, and he found you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I need to shoot.”

This made him lose his relaxed posture. Now standing up straight, looking down at you and looking more like the leader everyone around the two of you knew he was. “Come this way.”

You followed him to a table holding a few different types of guns. You weren’t sure you knew how to use more than a pistol, but you guessed you’d find out. Before you could even reach for one, Jacob spoke.

“Are you okay?”

You nodded, “I will be.”

When you finally dared look up from the guns, he was already staring at you. You two stayed, studying each other’s faces for a few seconds that seemed to stretch far longer than seconds should before he nodded, and immediately you picked up the m16. Like the pistol, its weight was a comfort and felt oddly familiar.

You didn’t think, you just pulled the trigger. Letting all your frustrations fly with the bullets. Jacob didn’t speak. He just watched you, let you do whatever it was you felt you had to do to get yourself back to a state you could deal with.

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 5

Series Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Series Masterlist

This had to be your least favourite day since waking up in Eli’s bunker. Today was the day Joseph had you following him around, he wasn’t fun or sweet like Faith or informative like John had been. He spent most of the time talking about himself, and why and how he started Eden’s Gate. As much as you’d hate to admit it, some of the things he said were interesting, but some things did border scary or pure show of power. He wanted you to awe at him as the others did, that much was obvious and that made you stay mostly silent during his speeches, not wanting to give him any satisfaction.

There were times he’d stop talking about himself and ask you questions about yourself, all these questions were personal and most likely overstepping some sort of boundary but since you could only answer “I don’t remember,” you didn’t bother asking him to stop. Eventually, he would get bored and stop on his own, right?

“Well, and don’t worry, you can remember this one,” he said with a mischievous smile on his face, “how was John yesterday? A decent guide?”

“Oh, yeah, he was great. Got to see a lot of both Henbane River and Holland Valley.” You answered quickly. You left out the handsy man and the way John held him under the water, something in Joseph’s eyes made it seem like this question was a test for his brother. While John seemed tense, he wasn’t bad and you didn’t want to say anything that would get him in trouble, especially not after he saved that woman. “He was a great guide.”

“Really?” he thought for a second before humming, “that pleases me to hear.”

You allowed yourself to give him a small smile then he continued his walk. People didn’t stop him like they did John, seems the Father didn’t have the same celebrity status, but they did all greet him, the women especially smiling wide when he greeted them back. Lust, how sinister of them, or perhaps Greed, hungry for his power and not the man himself. You shook your head, maybe I spent a little too much time with John yesterday.

“What are you thinking about?” Joseph asked, staring at your face in a way that made you want to take a few steps back, but you remained in place.

“John,” was all you said, causing Joseph’s expression to turn into one of pure confusion, “did he do that?” you point to someone’s ‘wrath’ scar. “He mentioned he was who people said their confessions to.”

“He is and he does it, yes, including his own and mine,” he said, gesturing to the ‘Lust’ above his waist, you quickly avert your eyes. “He’ll be doing yours too, once you remember your sins or start sinning once more.”

You looked back at him but only see his back as he walks away. You hadn’t thought about that fact yet. Well, you hadn’t really paid that much attention to the sins marking people’s bodies until now, they were just sort of there. But now, now you were noticing them on everyone’s skin and soon they’d be on yours too. Absolutely not, no sins for me thank you!

***

“Jacob,” Joseph said, “I trust you fixed everything yesterday.”

“Just Eli’s people messing around,” Jacob said. “Judges got most of them.”

“Judges?” you asked, and Jacob pointed to a big white wolf to your right. “Oh.” You had hoped the people were okay but if the wolves got most of them, that was unlikely.

“Well then,” Joseph turned to you, “I have some things to do so I’ll leave you in the hands of Jacob for now.” Before you could say anything, he turned and walked away. You faced the taller man in front of you. He wasn’t as intimidating anymore, not after making you laugh by the river. Now, he just seemed like a man.

“Where are we?” you asked him as he led you inside the building.

“Where we train, shot a gun before?”

You just sighed; you were getting tired of always giving the same answer.

“Right, sorry,” he said, rubbing his neck before holding out a pistol “here, we’ll find out, it’s probably like riding a bike, right?”

You took the gun from his hands; it was heavier than you thought it’d be but didn’t feel awful, “what should I be aiming for?”

He took you to a room, there was no one else there. “This room is usually crowded, where I have people practice, on…different targets. Yours will be that photograph.”

You look at the wall he’s pointing at, it’s far away and the photo wasn’t exactly big, it’d be a hard target. You look at the gun in your hands before taking a breath, I can do this, maybe. You raised the gun and took your shot.

Jacob let out a laugh once he got to the photo, “You did it! Right between the eyes, perfect shot!”

“How?” you asked, not believing him. You jog to his side and see your perfect shot.

“Like riding a bike,” he repeated. “You’ve done this before.”

“Here,” you try to give him the pistol back, but he shakes his head.

“Keep it,” he said. “Come on.”

You followed him out of the room. You were confused, you don’t think you seem like someone who would be shooting a gun, who would have even taught you? And why were you proud of yourself for making the shot? Your thoughts stop as Jacob moves to the side, letting you see what was in the room he had taken you to.

Cages, each holding someone. They were all bleeding from somewhere, looking to be in various stages of exhaustion. One of Jacob’s men bumped your shoulder on his way out, it made you turn slightly and then you saw a man you recognised in a cage.

“Dawn?” he asked, confused. It was one of Eli’s men. You didn’t know his name, or what he did for Eli, but you had seen him there. He had smiled at you before you left with Hurk.

“Shut up,” Jacob barked, moving the papers on the table in front of him. “Here it is,” he said, holding up a black box, the radio. Then he put it in your hands.

“Thank you,” you said, looking at it. You had no clue how to use it, but you weren’t going to tell him that, thankfully, you didn’t have to. He just started telling you how to turn it on and change stations to find each brother and Faith.

Another soldier walks in, a woman this time. The first woman you saw here. While Jacob was distracted with her, you took the chance to look around the room again. It was odd. Well, maybe it wasn’t, but you found you were feeling odd. First, you were proud of yourself for being able to shoot someone between their eyes and now here, surrounded by fearful people in cages, soldiers with their big guns, you found you weren’t scared, or nervous but calm. Not the same calm you felt with Faith and Bliss but still calm. It all felt familiar, in a way.

“Not the reaction I was expecting,” Jacob’s voice caused you to jump slightly. His head with tilted to the side while staring at you, like he was examining you.

“What? Thought I’d cry?”

“At least a small scream,” the playfulness from the river was back in his voice. After that though, he did try getting you to scream. He made you train. Though, by the looks of the people in cages, you knew your training was on the easier side. All you had to do was run and survive, you were being chased in the mountains and had to make it to a cabin. Jacob had told you where it was before counting to 10, that was your head start, 10 seconds before you don’t know how many men started running after you. You weren’t sure what would happen if you didn’t make it to the cabin first, but they were gaining on you and your legs were on fire. But you couldn’t slow down. Then you heard a howl, and a bullet flew over your shoulder.

“Shit,” you heard the man. He either wasn’t supposed to miss or wasn’t supposed to shoot that close, considering how important everyone said you were to Joseph. You forced your legs to go faster, and you forced the tired scream to stay inside, you were not alerting the rest of them, and you were not giving Jacob the satisfaction of a scream.

You could finally see the cabin, just a little further and then you could rest. You hoped. You didn’t actually know what he had planned for after this part. He probably didn’t plan for you to get this close to the cabin in the first place. You ran a few more steps before feeling a pair of arms wrap around your waist, a small scream escaping your mouth.

“Knew I could get a scream out of you,” you heard Jacob say.

“I was so close,” you groaned, “you couldn’t have just let me make it?”

“You were close, one day you will make it, just not today.” He called everyone to go back.

On the walk back, Jacob got a call over the radio from Joseph, apparently, he was doing another sermon that he wanted an audience for at the church. Jacob said he’d get people there.

“Wait here, I’ll tell everyone what’s happening then I’ll take you to the church.”

“Actually, I want to try going on my own,” you said. “See if I can remember the way, maybe get my brain to work right again.”

He thought about it for a while before nodding and letting you go ahead as he went into the building. You knew you remembered part of the way Joseph had taken you, it couldn’t be that hard to go back. You knew somewhere halfway there was a building you could sneak into, and hide for a while where no one could see you.

***

“Yes!” You ran up to the empty building. It seemed to be as abandoned as you hoped it was. The door was unlocked, and the handle was broken so the door flapped slightly, never shutting properly. None of the windows had glass but it wasn’t a cold day so that wasn’t an issue, you ducked under a window and leaned against the wall before picking up your radio and messing with the stations.

[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 4

Series Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Series Masterlist

You woke up by someone pulling the curtains open, light pouring into the small bedroom the Father had offered you the previous night.

“Rise and shine, princess,” John’s cocky voice filled the room. You pull the covers over your chest, causing him to chuckle, “relax, you’re already dressed.”

“Where’s Faith?” you asked, watching him move around the room.

“Checking on her Bliss.”

“Bliss?”

“The flowers.” You nod. “Get out of bed, Joseph wants me to show you around, we’re assuming Faith’s guide consisted of that one patch of Bliss?”

You nod again at his assumption, that was all she had time to show you before the brothers ripped you both from your fun. He left the room, gesturing for you to follow him. You sighed before getting out of bed, already missing it. It was a lot comfier than what you had woken up in at Eli’s.

“Where are you taking me?” you asked.

“Around. You’re going to see a bit of all the regions, at least, that’s the idea,” he shrugged. For once, you were satisfied with the answer you got to the question and quietly followed the man where he went. Then he held his arm out for you to take. The move seemed gentlemanly enough for you to accept but you did think it seemed odd. Nothing about this man pointed towards him being a gentleman.

First, you two stayed in the Henbane River region, him giving you a tour of more than just Bliss. Any time he felt your hand loosen on his arm as you passed the flowers, his free hand would go over yours, keeping you in place by his side.

“Faith grows flowers, what is it that you do, John?” you asked. Your question made him chuckle, you weren’t sure what he found amusing in it.

“Right now, I’m a tour guide, though usually, well, I’m a lot of things,” he smirked, “I’m the face of Eden, who everyone sees on their TV screens, I’m who you come to, to confess your sins. I’m the Baptiste.”

“And Joseph’s the Father, what does Jacob do?”

“He is in charge of security.” You didn’t envy him. Talking in front of a crowd or a camera, or even growing flowers seemed a thousand times easier than being head of security in a county where everyone had their own guns, and two sides were at war. “Did Faith really not tell you anything on your little field trip?” He asked.

“I can’t remember much from the time you left until the time you came back to us,” you confessed. He scoffed lightly before patting your hand.

“That’s all right, you won’t be spending too much time down here,” he said.

“Why not?”

“Joseph has plans for you.”

“So people keep saying.” He smiled. It seemed genuine, small but genuine. He quickly wrapped up his tour of the Henbane River region, not wanting you to spend too much time around all the Bliss and anger his brother. He stopped a car, telling the women inside to get out and you to get in. All three of you listened. He drove off, leaving the women on the side of the road.

“Why did you just leave them?”

“It’s not that far to where they were going.”

“How do you know where they were going?” you asked, he scoffed.

“That’s where they were going, that’s the only reason anyone goes through here.” He points to where you see a greenhouse filled with the Bliss flowers and Faith, waving at you as you drive by.

“Why does everyone go there?”

“Either to work with Bliss, to use Bliss or to move Bliss around to other locations.” He answered honestly, “now, no more questions related to Bliss.”

After a while, you open your mouth, and he holds his hand up, “is it related to Bliss?” you shake your head, and he lowers his hand back to the wheel.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Whitetail Mountain, to dear old Jacob.”

You thought about how you only saw Faith in Henbane River, the brothers only stayed for a short while at a time before leaving again and now you’re going to see Jacob in a whole different region. “Do you each own a section?”

“We do,” he said. You hum but otherwise stay silent, not wanting him to ban region-owning questions as he had Bliss ones. This time you made sure to ask questions about what John drove past, you were going to stay awake this time and you were going to keep some direction in your memory. He answered most of your questions about the buildings, sometimes choosing to ignore them when he thought the building was just some run-down unimportant thing. If they are too unimportant to talk about, maybe they wouldn’t think to look in them? you thought. That way you had a place to hide in case you needed to escape, in case these people were also the bad guys.

“You there, John?” a static voice filled the car. You looked around but it was still only you two in there.

“I’m here,” John said, holding a black box to his face.

“What’s that?” you asked.

“A radio,” he told you, “what do you want?” he asked the voice on the radio.

“You can’t bring her here, something happened. Take her somewhere else, fast.” John put the radio in his lap and turned the car.

“Now where are we going?” you asked.

“Holland Valley.”

“Who owns that?”

“I do.” He was speeding a bit, there were some sounds in the distance that sounded like they could have been gunshots but before you could be sure, John turned the radio on, turning the volume up. The song about John filling the car. You roll your eyes at the narcissism of it all but can’t help yourself as you hum along, you can see John smirking in the corner of your eye.

He turned down the music once you were close to Holland Valley. You saw that as your sign to start asking questions, which you did. You asked about the shrines, not remembering seeing them where you were in Henbane River, those fascinated you. They were different. People deeper in Henbane River crowded around the flowers and here you saw a crowd forming near each shrine you passed.

“Henbane River has the shrines,” he said as if reading your mind. “We just have a few here nearing Holland Valley because she claims they’ve run out of space.” You wanted to ask about them, or about how come Faith didn’t take to them but realised the answer would probably be Bliss. No Bliss-related questions.

“You said I wouldn’t be at Henbane River again; would I be able to if it was to see the shrines?”

“I never said you couldn’t go back, just that you wouldn’t be there often. But yes, you can go see the shrines. Of course, you can see the shrines, they’re an important part of Eden’s Gate.” He sounded frustrated and you weren’t sure why, you hadn’t mentioned Bliss. “We can get out here.” He said, stopping the car. He threw the car keys to some men he saw by the road. Once you were by his side, he gave you his arm, which you accepted.

He wasn’t as organised as Faith; she knew exactly where she wanted to take you whilst he seemed to be deciding where to take you on the spot. Nonetheless, you let him drag you where he wanted, and listened to what he said. Further into his region, the people stopped you both in order to praise the man on his recent broadcast. He seemed to love it; he seemed as addicted to the praise as Joseph was to the affection. Narcissists. You may not remember your parents, but you were sure they wouldn’t approve of you being on the arm of such a man.

When a man comes up to praise John, he quickly loses his train of thought and starts on another topic, an older lady, you assume his mother, helps him get back to praising John. You couldn’t but think of Adelaide, Hurk had the same problem, rambling about many topics. While you had only met her for a short while, you liked her, she seemed like the kind of mom who would do anything for her family. She even told you a bit about the cult…The one you had now joined. You remember being shocked when she told you people joined willingly and yet, that’s exactly what you had done. It was what I had done, right? And it was the right choice…Your thoughts were interrupted by John walking, pulling you along with him.

“How do you contact people here?” you asked.

“With the radio,” John said.

“Will I get a radio?”

“Who do you have to contact?” He didn’t look like he meant anything malicious, yet the words stung a bit which caused you to pause for a beat to think.

“Well, what if something happens and I need to contact you or one of your siblings?” You weren’t sure you were being entirely honest, but you weren’t sure Eden’s Gate had been either, so you didn’t feel too bad.

He nodded, satisfied with your answer, “you’ll get a radio, Jacob’s got one you can use.”

You didn’t walk far before you heard a woman cry for help. “What was that?” You asked, looking around.

“What was what?” John asked but then he heard the cry. You struggled to keep up with his quick steps as he walked around a house. There was a man dragging his hand up the skirt of a woman. John instantly pushes your hand off his arm and storms towards the man.

“What’s your problem,” the man asked John when he ripped him off the woman. She runs to you as John punches the man. One punch made him fly to the ground.

“Are you okay?” she nods, painfully clinging to your hands.

“Touch a woman like that again and you’re fucking dead!” John yelled as he made his way to you two, fixing his jacket. “Go home, he won’t be bothering you again,” he told the woman as he waved for a car to stop for her.

“Thank you,” she said before running off.

***

It was now after dinner; it had been a few hours since you had John. He had work to do but told you to feel free to explore Holland Valley. It was a nice place, the people seemed to ignore your presence which meant you could finally try to think for yourself. No Faith, Bliss or John influencing you, just you and your thoughts…And Jacob.

You saw the man walking towards you, silently he gestured for you to follow him before walking back down the path he came. You sighed, so much for being able to think, and followed him. You jog to catch up to him.

“John said you have a radio I could use,” you said.

He raised an eyebrow, “you can it later, it’s not like I carry spares on me.” He takes you to a river, there’s a crowd forming in front of it. You see a line of people, and John, already in the water and holding someone. You were confused for a second but then remembered, he baptises people.

You watch as a man walked into the water. You recognise him as the one who was being too handsy earlier, his bottom lip was slightly swollen from John’s fist. You watched as John held him under the water a little longer than he probably should. Worry was starting to bubble in your chest which caused you to take a step back, bumping into someone.

“What’s up with you?” Jacob’s voice came from behind you.

“I can’t swim,” you said.

“What do you know?” he asked in a playful tone that didn’t seem possible for him. When he saw the fear on your face, he sighed, “look, John just doesn’t like the guy, okay? He won’t do that to you, you’ll be fine. If I’m wrong, tell me and I’ll break his nose.”

His words pulled a laugh from you, and you felt your worry drown away, “thank you.”