#and so many 911 thoughts

[aspecbuddie]

I was finally able to watch the episodes and oh my godddd

[apricustar]

there's something really important in the way buck grieves in 8x16 that feels like it's being misunderstood. i keep seeing people say he was emotionless--that oliver himself gave us nothing--but i think that silence was the performance; that was the choice-- one made as protection.

last episode, we saw him collapse--on the ground wailing, can't hold himself up, can't draw a breath that doesn't feel like it's tearing him up inside. that was raw, unfiltered. that was what happens when the grief and disbelief hit before he had time to build the walls we see in this episode.

beyond an i love you, bobby's last words to buck were that the team was going to need him. and bobby's words have always carried a significant weight for buck, but these being the last? they clearly landed like a mission. a burden. a plea.

so what we get in 8x16 isn't a lack of emotion--its a man white-knuckling his way through unbearable loss because that's what he thinks he has to do in order to live up to what bobby asked of him. it's buck burying his own grief so deep he won't accidentally spill it on the people around him. it's him becoming that steady presence-- the one bobby said they need--even if it means locking away every part of himself. all the too-sharp edges of his own feelings, all the things he knows might take him under again.

because if he lets go for even a second? i truly think he worries he'll end up back on the ground again: helpless unable to fix or do anything.

oliver didn't give us 'nothing'. he gave us stillness. he gave us restraint. he's carefully calibrated, holding his breath, his posture, holding himself--because he knows if he slips, he might not come back from it. he's holding grief in his throat like it might choke him if he swallows wrong. he's trying to be what the team needs while neglecting what he needs. and it's devastating.

and it's all there if you look at him: the way buck's jaw clenches at times; minute changes to his expression before he smooths it over into careful neutrality; the way his every word feels deliberate and weighted, like he's rolled all them around in his mouth first before he speaks. nothing is effortless, everything is held.

it was heartbreaking to see. and i cant imagine how much more heartbreaking it will be when he finally breaks and lets go.

[stolenkissesdiaz]

crying rn cus why is the eddie in el paso arc just showing the audience how much of eddie’s partner buck really is outside of work LMFAO like oh u think these two are just coworkers? LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER!!! he’s supporting eddie reestablishing his relationship with chris. he’s supporting eddie while he’s in hell with his parents. evan ‘words of affirmation’ buckley is the glue holding eddie diaz together in texas rn.

[paiigemahoney]

9-1-1 | Howard "Chimney" Han

[alivingtypo]

The fact that “alright cowboy, go get ‘em” were almost Eddie’s last words to Buck makes me feel insane

[idiotsinkdaisies]

something something about tommy only ever calling buck "buck" during their break up scene and instead using evan while together ... when "buck" is very much what the people who know and love buck call him... as if tommy only realizes who buck is at the end (by seeing the way its gonna end or whatever the fuck he said)

there's also a small (prob unintentional) parallel to how ana called eddie "edmundo" when both ana and tommy are significant "firsts" for buddie respectively (first gf after losing shannon/getting back out there, first bf sexuality revelation) ... both of those relationships ending because buddie "isn't ready" and there being something Not Right about the relationship and where it could go ... this is partly conveyed by the "Technically Yeah But That's Not Their Name" name being used by the ex.

anyways! in conclusion something something preferred names something something to be loved is to be known

[lover-of-mine]

“Do not take ibuprofen by mouth or apply it to your skin if you have ever had an allergic reaction or symptoms like wheezing, runny nose or skin reactions after taking aspirin, ibuprofen or other non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as naproxen.”

4x05 “Buck Begins” -> 6x11 “In Another Life” -> 8x05 “Masks”

Inspired by @stagefoureddiediaz and @bewitchedbewilderedbisexual

[stevenrogered]

5x11 / 8x08

[bigfootsmom]

• buck noun a male animal, especially a deer, rabbit, or hare.

• rabbit-foot noun the hind foot of a rabbit carried as a good-luck piece.

[girldadbuckley]

S04E05: Buck Begins // S04E14: Survivors

[stagefoureddiediaz]

The fact there has been such an emphasis on lies and fakeness and duality and not seeing things for what they are this season doe make me feel like this is a fakeout of some description!

Fake fbi agents, a fake skeleton that was real, all Eddie’s lying stuff, Buck using ‘fakeman’ as a surname, hotshots - a fake show about firefighters, Maddies kidnapping being made to look like she’d left and amber creating a fake killer etc etc etc!

It’s all feeling like this is another fake thing - the biggest one - for the larger plot - they always leave lots of clues in canon across a season and this feels no different.

[anxiousalienwriter]

Eddie really planned a whole little surprise party for Buck, complete with a fakeout note. He staged Pepa, Chris, and himself perfectly. You know he rehearsed what he was gonna say a million times in his head. He changed his position against the wall a million times. He was trying to figure out his reveals. He planned it and then tried to play it off as casual. Obsessed with all of that, actually. Love that for him

[buddieroommates]

madney's baby's name is gonna be robert isn't it.

[apricustar]

and when we finally get eddie standing up to ramon about pressuring chris into being the perfect-winner-chess-prodigy what then.

and when we have him comforting christopher in the bathroom and he tells chris he can do things just to do them, just because they're joyous, without necessarily being good or being the best at them—that he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to do, or that doesn’t bring him joy—what then

[fiona-fififi]

You know what, actually?

It is GOOD that they didn't take Buck off the hamster wheel for his first queer relationship.

To do so would have implied that the only thing he was missing was his sexuality, and not only was that clearly never the story they were telling with him, but also I don't actually think it would be great representation to imply that figuring out your sexuality is the thing that will solve all your deep-seated self worth and abandonment issues.

[1doesnotsimplyhavejust1fandam]

This has most definitely been said before, but we were robbed of the core four quarantining on-screen together at Buck’s place. ROBBED I say