#and she ruined it she just . . . ruined it
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot
#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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FNAF movie Vanessa wants to meet Glamrock Bonnie..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#fnaf vanessa#fnaf vanny#vanessa afton#vanessa shelly#glamrock bonnie#fnaf movie#security breach#fnaf ruin#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#SHE DOESNT KNOWWW#GLAMROCK BONNIE (finally) MENTIONED 🔥🔥#it's been a bit but l've finally wrapped back to this mini plot line!#of movie Vanessa meeting all the Glamrocks#I always planned to do this comic but I paused for a bit to do some other comics for a bit#movie Vanessa I like to think likes Bonnie the most#bunnies being a soft spot for her in general SO OF course she'd really want to meet Glamrock Bonnie#seeing she's seen everyone else and met the newbies etc#though unlucky for Vanny she knows meeting Bonnie isn't that easy....#and now she somehow has to explain that to Vanessa oops#maybe sometime Vanessa can meet Glamrock bonnie!#just have to wait and see 🩵🩵
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searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!
#for finncakes.arts dtiys on instagram... i missed you wxs#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#polysho#my ipad did not survive this one its at 3% after like 5 procreate crashes#and sending me visions of it being put down like a dog. Not happening#kirapipi album release im FREE#wxs getting 1 another wanopo comm and 2 a traditional japanese style song. ive been saying they need it. emu deep voice can save the world#I drew emus recent card the untrained but i dont KNOW HOW TO RENDER SNYMORE IDK HOW TO DO IT. SO SHES TRAPPED#in my wip art timeloop for eternity.#tsukasa is pissing me off so bad in this no matter how many times i drew and redrew his head imhe just completely breaks the illusion of#depth i think i actually did alright on rui and emu. i love how theynlook. Went hard rendering tsukasas outfit i guess which.#pisses me off MORE. its NOT THE FOCAL POINT. TSUKASA INHOPE YOUR NEXT LIM HAIRCUT IS EVEN MORE STUPID. YOURE RUINING MY LIFE.#whats supposed to be his hand is so fucked up with the perspective too helppp me just pretend its nenes.#the tonal difference from my ladt post is so funny. fuck you siffrin you stupud cat
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atla renaissance pt 3 calls to me like a siren
#back to my roots#atla#zuko#sokka#toph#avatar the last airbender#avatar#to everyone arguing whether or not it’s accurate to say they do have ODS consider a few things#a) it’s a joke i made while high#b) toph wouldn’t care she would just say shit to piss them off because she’s 12#c) maybe welcome joy into your life. consider taking even a second of a break from whatever compels you to ruin my desire to post#and just chill. because this is and has never been that deep#art#my art#my fan art#fan art#is this the last thing i ever post on tumblr? who knows#im high and its 2am lets get wild
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I love that everyone in TMA is just. Unremarkable. Jon isnt a heroic character; he's self-loathing and depressed and he exhibits the same self-pity as I do when I'm self-loathing and depressed. He doesn't stand out for his strength of will or quick-thinking or virtue. He's a good person but he stops trying to stay human when it gets uncomfortable. He's everything that a regular person is when theyre trapped in a horrible situation and it's ugly and insufferable and Real.
#and dont even get me started on the rest of them#martin is jealous and petty and manipulative#and look at his life— look at his mother— of course he is!#basira would never do the things daisy does but she's perfectly content to look the other way and ignore it#and she does the same thing in the archives— the world is ending and she hides away with her books and pretends it's none of her business#and oh god MELANIE#like#it really drives home tim's point that all you need for the fears to ruin your life is just bad luck#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#jon sims
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there were bugs in the vents again…
from the lovely @morningstarwrites amazing fic Of Saints And Sinners
#radioapple#alastor#lucifer#hazbin hotel#duckiedeer#osas#of saints and sinners#my art#niffty#she’s got a knack for ruining the moment#wish i could’ve spent more time on this but ive had the most insane week of my life you wouldn’t even believe#shellfish???? NOOOOO someone just pointed it out#i’m gonna burry myself in the backyard now thankyou goodbye
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Bucky was always a little jealous of the attention Kristen got, until she leaves.
After she leaves he realises, oh, she hasn't slept alone in bed since Bricker was five because either he or Cork would crawl into her bed when they had nightmares. And she had to hold off on healing herself sometimes because -3 dex runs in the family and she had save spell energy for if Cork tripped and fell down the stairs again. And wow did he never realise just how hard it was to take verses from the Corn Bible and use them to stop their parents going on and on until their shouting at Bricker for something Bucky knows he tried in the past and Kristen came to his defence.
#I have so many feelings about protective big brother Bucky Applebees#trying to be what Kristen was for him but never being as naturally good at it as she seemed to be#scared of ruining things for Bricker and Cork#being kind of angry at Kristen for leaving but mostly just sad and stressed#someone give him a hug#dimension 20#fantasy high#bucky applebees
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flicks them on the forehead
#wip#op doesn't change bc he's always Running around doing shit & doesn't want to ruin his cool shirts/pants . unless she's going somewhere nice#usually with d..#however i think it would also be Funny if he had so many red work shirts to spare so she just. wears them all the time and pairs them wit#blue shorts or pajamas so he Looks like he's wearing uniform until u look down and see her in chanclas
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wip of my new favorite baby, designed by graymutual, currently unnamed but definitely a twiluna child
#ummm guys i promise i won’t make a new nextgen in my head because i can’t just make my nextgens have siblings apparently….!#mlp#name suggestions super welcome btw. i thought about wishing star maybe. the last time i named a character wishing star though she was kind#of evil and this girl is really not at all#i might end up tweaking the colors just a bit because some of them are hard to work with in my lineless style i realized. but i dont want to#ruin them…#also i will keep the tail being outlandishly big and fluffy. i didn’t draw it big enough in the sketch
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One more piece titled 'going wild in procreate fueled by Solavellan angst'
I need Dreadwolf teasers like I need air
#wearing some experimental magical prosthetic arm instead of staff#Made by Dagna ofcourse who else#anyways I just ove the idea of Lavellan exploring elvhen ruins in order to find a way to stop him after trespasser#and then there are moments where she comes eye to eye with an old mural like this#confronted with the true identity of her lover. the inner turmoil. the longing#ANGST#solavellan hell#dragon age inquisition#my art#dragon age#solavellan#my fanart#dai#solas#solasmance#solavellan he’ll#the dreaded husband#da: dreadwolf#dragon age dreadwolf#dragon age au#solas x inquisitor#I’m going feralll#daze chroma#dazechroma#dragon age fanart#BioWare#dreadwolf summer#Dreadwolf art
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Page 39 of my Miraculous Mentor AU comic A Matter of Trust! In which Bridgette faces the final battle alone, and Felix is left without a Miraculous... 🦋✨
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Weekly updates each Sunday! You can also read ahead early on Patreon, and/or buy me a Ko-fi if you'd like to support my work! 💖
#miraculous ladybug#mentor au#A Matter of Trust#felix sphinx#bridgette cheng#tikki#richard sphinx#josie's art#surely it couldn't possibly get worse from here :3c#ofc bri can just put her miraculous right back on (no recharge timer) but she took felix's with her ; w ;#RIP to my tablet eating this page and having to do it twice over; cannot WAIT till i can afford a replacement :'V#the effort i put in to ruin everyone's day with this comic on a regular schedule!!!!
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FNAF Vanny cooked too hard with M.X.E.S,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf vanessa#fnaf vanny#mxes#fnaf gregory#glamrock freddy#fnaf#security breach#fnaf ruin#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#why does mxes look like that#TBH I actually like how MXES is based off a hare giving em this more angular look#but then also some angles just feel like he’s mewing#MXES MENTIONED 🔥🔥🔥#I also like the idea Vanny made mxes#so it’s like he’s taking back the whole ‘rabbit aesthetic’ for herself#Vanny’s real answer is she thought he looked cool BAHA
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“Why don’t you want me” after literally throwing a sink at her head to kill her RIO BABE WORK ON YOUR TIMING
#I was rewatching like Jesus Christ no fucking wonder Agatha didn’t respond to that#not even a nice death just a gross one#who wants to be killed by a sink#anyway if you had asked back in episode 4#instead of ruining the moment like a loser#she probably would’ve said ‘I do’ and then kissed you#so that’s kinda on you#she fucking wanted you at the end tho#dying like that#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agathario#vidarkness#katherine hahn#aubrey plaza#agatha harkness x rio vidal
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hear me, o patroness of girlstrugglers
#her wounded animal swag has captivated me#the terror amc#silna#lady silence#my art#she literally suffered more than jesus and for what. huh#not a day goes by when i don't think about how she was just going on about her life when she got violently dragged into these#random white men's survival horror tragedy. it's so fuckeddddd#they litchrally ruined her life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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a what-if i've been thinking about for forever... trucy knowing the truth before anyone could tell her
#trucy wright#apollo justice#ace attorney#.png#ough ough ough how many times has she helped 'ruin' someone's life...#like what if when she was so desperate to help phoenix get acquitted she gets hit in the face with the realization that#she might just be ruining her new-found brother's life too#so yeah. how would she even bring that up#haha hey polly. remember that time i handed you fake evidence. well did you know i saw your bracelet and remembered my mom had one too. fun#by the way did you know she told me she had two and gave one to her first-born who she lost a long time ago#like do we know how much trucy remembers about their mom. no! that's why i think this could work#ough i've wanted to make this comic for so long but i never knew how to format it#well i drew the first panel as warm-up and then was like. why not go all the way....#that way i'd be forced to really think about composition
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