#and read books and have imagination
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all i ever wanted was to be like my mother all i ever did turned out like my father
#and turned our worst than him#no actually he's alright im a new strain of fucked up in head why im not an author or a artist making something about my thoughts#why did i ever stop writing or painting or listening music obsessively i used to be cool im literally bunch of thoughts in a useless body#and i don't like anything anymore im just gaslighting myself into believing this is what growing up feels like no i was supposed to have#freedom and hobbies and will and motivation and curiousity and i used to be so excited to just. live and tell stories and explain my weird#dreams to everyone#and discover cool things on internet and make them my friends favorite thing ever#and read books and have imagination#and i don't want to do anything anymore im not having existential crisis im just not enthusiastic about being alive anymore#even though i know i have so much to do and so much to see and the world has so much to offer and ive so much potential#and im not depressed or mentally ill ive just started hating everything recently and people tell me its because its exams no???#no im so mentally and emotionally unstimulated im not saying it should be a chaotic drill#or maybe its just august and this is my seasonal depression i feel same emotions past 4 years 🤣
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Mairon
#sauron#I didn’t even watch this show but damn this dude looks dangerously close to the Sauron I imagined while reading the books#guess I have to watch now
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It's still interesting that TBoB called more attention to Stan's control over his mindscape (And if you go with the interpretation that the lost pages are partial truths that are heavily influenced by Bill, then he's the one insisting that only someone with training should be able to have that much control over the mind.)
Meanwhile we have a memory!Stan. Someone who apparently knows too much and is rather aware for being a simple memory.
From the Wheel of Shame, we know Bill was able dig up all kinds of dirt on Stan but... that wasn't why he was there in the first place, was it?
Bill couldn't find the code immediately despite a memory of Stan opening the safe being a few hours old at most and decided to have Mabel try find it for him (The original concept of the ep had it far more hidden but this was likely cut because of time constraints)
Ford did experiments on Stan's mind which likely meant using Project Mentem and actually looking around his mindscape, and his only reaction was to comment on his jokes-- despite what little we the audience know being enough to render us sobbing wrecks
(yes I refuse to shut up about this part cos the book's intro is extremely underrated)
Stan was able to replace his memories of Ford with the swingset instead and managed to hide Ford in his Bar Mitzvah memory. And that's not even mentioning the lack of visible Portal and Stan o' War which noticeably show up in Ford's dreamscape (the broken swingset manifesting anyway pains me tho)
He subconsciously has misdirects for his secrets that are both silly and manages to disturb everyone too
And while Bill-as-Soos being bored by the vending machine memory is a joke that's basically the crew's way of going "hey remember the thing way back in the first ep that's going to show up in the next one?" and in-universe appears to be Stan slipping up, it's interesting that they had Stan input the wrong code when it's consistent literally every other time its inputted (especially when it shows up correctly in the very next episode)
It's even possible that the safe code that Bill found could have been a misdirect too but we'll never know since the safe got blown open by dynamite.
Stan was able to buy time by making his mind blank despite being genuinely terrified when Bill enters his mind (to the point that he breaks character and uses his own voice to yell), and could conjure up his living room (in colour opposed to his mind's regular greyscale) to make sure Bill didn't have enough room to flee, slamming the door in his face before the effects of the memory gun kicked in.
(EDIT: Random door analysis here)
And maybe the twins eventually told him that Bill had already been inside his mind after their W3 reunion, but all we know was that his conscious self was left in the dark for ages and wasn't really aware of Bill until Weirdmageddon.
TBoB showing McGucket's dreamscape also brings up the idea of the effects of the memory gun manifesting differently to each person. To Stan's mindscape, the memory wipe manifests as blue flames which immediately brings to mind Bill's powers but it's a far lighter shade (maybe to more closely match the memory gun and its eventual fade to white?)
The end of TBoB and the website poem also firmly reminds us about Stan's connection to fire but there's also the question if Stan himself is actually aware of it...
#but also j3 having ford read dipper's entries post dd&md but not having him know about the kids' encounters with bill is so kashdskahd#cos that implies he immediately skipped the pages that mentioned stan 😭and didn't read mabel's entries#oh for him to actually react to dipper's observations about stan's mindscape....#stan pines#stanley pines#bill cipher#gravity falls#gf meta#yes of course my brain is still going ' same coin theory ooooo' at this#cos i doubt that j1 has any mention of the mindscape and it's not like stan would have studied this stuff#imagine iconic hippy hater actually mediating on purpose#i'm still waving my arms about stan potentially seeing the reader's version of tbob tho#but even if that ain't the case bill having a breakdown from him reading him like a book is still iconic#dunno if this is coherent and i'm pretty sure all this stuff is things most folks know but idk some people didn't read the journal#some folks don't know about the poem!!!! truly the biggest tragedy
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funnyjokespunperson
#cozy-comfy reading a book recovering <3#vulnerability? sorry all they got is puns#love them for it tbh so real for that#i imagine this being somewhen post-game so#isat spoilers#sorry but i do not believe that Vaugarde or really any other place has no constellations at all#they are so usefull! for navigation or for calendar keeping!#so yeah now there Are constellations they are just niche knowledge for like sailing or for understanding how the calendar formed#i guess there is also specifically ursa minor what a coincidence#did you know that there are myths based on how constellations behave through out the year?#scorpio and orion are never seen on the sky at the same time and theres a myth about how the scorpion killed him#but he was immortalized on the night sky (the scorpion also got immortalized because fuck orion)#rant over have a nice day#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#my art
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do yall ever think about bruce/batman!clone danny standing in front of his bathroom mirror after finding out he was a clone and silently tracing his face. The slope of his jaw and point of his chin. The high angle of his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, the curve of his brow bones and the shape of his nose. The volume of his hair and the way it curls and gets fluffy when it gets too long.
His hair is black the same way a crow's wing is black. His dad's hair is black the same way a black bear's fur is black. His dad's eyes are blue like the ocean is blue. Danny's eyes are blue the same way a glacier is blue.
His dad has a square jaw and straight flat hair, and he tans and gets a face full of freckles when he's out in the sun for too long. Danny burns like a lobster and his face remains untouched. Danny has a sharp jaw and tall cheekbones, and Sam says when he's not smiling there's almost something regal about him. You would never call Jack Fenton "regal" when he's not smiling.
Sam says when he's not smiling he looks scary the same way a stone statue is. Jack Fenton when he's not smiling looks scary the same way that german shepherd staring at you across the street is.
Do you ever think he grew up wondering if he was adopted. Because of course, he has black hair and blue eyes like his dad. But having the same color doesn't make you someone's child.
Or, worse, things he's heard from the other kids and the other parents and even some of his teachers growing up; that he was the product of an affair. And that his dad was just too stupid to notice. And Danny would defend his parents until the day he died, because Jack Fenton wasn't an idiot and Maddie Fenton wasn't a cheater.
But doubt comes in with fickle tongue. his parents swear up and down that he is their child when he asks about either. That Danny just had his grandparents' features, but he was their son and they loved him.
But Danny doesn't look like either of his parents. His mom's eyes are blue like an aquamarine and Jazz's too. And they burn like lobsters in the sun too, but Jazz gets freckles on her face and so does Maddie. And as Danny grows up he doesn't bulk up or get stocky like his dad did, and when he hits puberty he doesn't shoot up like a tree like Jack Fenton did.
He stays small, and they say he's a late bloomer (and he is), or that he just has his mom's height. But he's fast and has good stamina, and some days it feels like he's built entirely different from his family. That the things they went through growing up just didn't apply to him. Jack and Maddie Fenton both had acne and breakouts when they hit puberty, and Jazz inherits it and he's seen the amount of skincare products she keeps on her side of the bathroom.
And then he hits puberty and breaks out maybe once or twice, but his skin stays clear for the most part and the problems and changes his dad went through just don't happen to him.
And the truth is worse than all of the lies.
How horrifying.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danny fenton is a clone#clone danny fenton#clone danny#thinking about the inherent trauma that comes with growing up as a clone and not knowing and questioning everything about yourself#thinking about the amount of effort and lying that Jack and Maddie would've had to to do if they wanted to pass Danny off as their bio son#the MEDICAL RECORDS#danny's medical history is completely different from theirs. any generational health problems the waynes have would/could be passed down to#danny and he's completely oblivious to it up until the reveal. he'd have no idea about any medical risks until they hit him before that.#so many little things and inconsistencies that would just build and build and build until it finally came to a head and the truth came out#forever and ever and ever fascinated by the underlying horror of being a clone. there's a horror in being cloned but there's also a horror#in BEING a clone. like yes he could've always known from the start and that comes with its own set of issues BUT. just. him not knowing#for the longest time. the lies and deceit and betrayal. you know how adopted kids come out and talk about how they didn't know they were#adopted for the longest time and how traumatizing and betrayed they felt when they're finally told 15-20 years down the line? yeah that#i imagine finding out you're a clone is a lot like that.#i read a book in middle school once abt a girl moving to a new town with her family and getting these horrible nightmares and noticing how#everyone was acting strange around her. one of her nightmares was about the 30yo police officer being a shambling corpse talking to her#and at the end of the book she finds out she's actually the clone of a dead older sister and the police officer was her sister's boyfriend.#and she was in gymnastics but quit and her parents were so disappointed bc the og sister was a champion/award winning gymnastics player#and i never did finish the book but god am i reminded of that.#i love reading the dpxdc clone danny posts and they usually have him brush off being a clone which is literally totally fine but duUUDE#just imagine his own horror over it. its SOOO good
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eepy 🐲
ryumimi & half dragon sebek AU
#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#twst yuu#twst mc#malleus draconia#dragon is ryu in japanese#this turns into au#fanart#instead of being too weak he is now afraid of being too powerful and destructive#malleus is so plain without the horns#somehow i imagine s ilver is still a human#now he is called a monster for being too powerful instead of being pointed at for being too weak#hm to imagine maybe his mother fled not long after his birth bcs it would be too dangerous for her to stay at the human village#and so no one really teaches him how to control his power#maybe he only reads from books his grandfather somehow have about dragons
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hi i'm unw el l
#ramble#he is truly the guy of all time#i can't wait to find out if his eyes are purple for a Reason or if he's just a special boy#the dichotomy of 'what could happen there's 37 more books'#and 'oh god there's 37 more books worth of stuff'#disclaimer i didn't know a LOT about canon forgotten realms but 3 pages in i was like#ah. that's why minthara is Like That#there's an essay in my head somewhere about how i'm never judging a drow character again because it's LITERAL CULT MENTALITY#tl;dr i love it. it's bonkers 90s fantasy and i am Here#imagine the ascension i felt when i opened the book and there was a MAP#thank god for the death of cringe bc i'm so much happier embracing that i'm a big fuckin nerd and not too cool for dnd novels#every time i start reading again after not having time i remember why if fuuucking LOVE BOOKS
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Harlan Ellison: *creates the most despicable machine in history* Behold. The Allied Mastercomputer. He hates mankind.
Fans: is he single
Harlan Ellison: w hat
#allied mastercomputer#seeing how much the fans love AM#would harlan ellison roll in his grave from shame or joy#i still have to read the book though#i love how enthusiastic mr ellison voiced AM its so full of character i literally cant imagine anybody else voicing him#harlan ellison#ihnmaims#AM#ihnmaims am#i have no mouth and i must scream
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au where remus grew up with his muggle mum so he has a super deep interest in something like star trek, or like ancient egypt or lord of the rings, and sirius, who had never heard abt these muggle things could listen to him talk for hours
#Remus is just monologuing like ‘so anyway there is the old kingdom the Middle Kingdom and the new kingdom-#and sirius is there nodding along falling more in love#just imagine remus making sirius read the lotr books#they have a little book club#wolfstar#remus lupin#sirius black
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I'm not getting into The Giving Tree discourse...
#personal#delete later#idk i just saw a post of the “alternate ending” comic on my dash and everyone praising it as an improvement and “fixing” the original#which i kinda resent#while tulli and i was taking my nephew to a book store we walked around the kids section and found the giving tree and we read through it#and i was so stricken by how profoundly sad it is. it's not a happy story#in the end both versions tell the exact same lesson. but one flat out tells you and the other makes you sit with a pit in your stomach#and work to find the answer#i dunno it's kids literature but kids literature is important. i don't wanna discredit anyone's bad memories with the book but also i think#sometimes it's ok to make kids a bit sad and upset with fiction.#tweet that goes “what if romeo and juliet didn't kill themselves and explained to the audience that family feuds are bad”#idk you can't seriously read the original book as an adult and say it's glorifying self-martyrdom#when the final drawing of the book is of an old tired man sitting on arotting stump with his hat fallen to the ground#again i don't wanna invalidate people's feelings if they enjoy the alt version i think it's really nice too. but the original has its#purpose too. imagine if at the end of the lorax they show that the boy did it and replanted the world happy ending#wait they did that in the movie shit#i dunno i just love somber children's literature. tulli and i are talking about moomin right now and how the series ends with the moomin#family just leaving. and nobody gets to say goodbye to them. their friends have to find ways to live with the emptiness they've left behin
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doing this thing i call "reading every class high school lit book i missed out on" partially because as an english minor i feel like a lot of ppl in my english lectures have already read these books in higschool partially because high school english classes suck balls and i think the way they taught kids to read books was lame and dumb as hell and killed love for reading and i think some of these books they make kids read should never be experienced in a classroom setting
#the horror on my face when i talk to someone and they read catcher in the rye at an age below 16.... that should be a punishable offence#actually teaching catcher in the rye should be illegal. u are meant to experience that on ur own. that shit is between u and god.#the reason why i'm a separate peaceposting rn is because i see the homosexuality and analyze it for fun instead of being bored#if i had to read it in school i'd probably enjoy it less. imagine being quizzed on it. imagine having the themes spilled out for you. gross#if i got reading comprehension quizzed on any book i like i think i would kill myself in front of everyone forever#THAT'S JUST NOT HOW IT WORKS. AND WHY DO COLLEGES UNDERSTAND THIS BUT HIGHSCHOOLS DON'T#LIKE A 16-17 YEAR OLD HIGHSCHOOLER DOES NOT NEED TO BE READING QUIZZED LIKE 18-19 YEAR OLDS DON'T OKAY
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murderbots (two of em)
#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#secunit#when i first read the books i imagined the drones as little robot guys who followed mb around and was shocked to find out that#they are actually very small#but i like the idea of mb with a lot of little robot guys that follow it around#like disney animals or ducklings#just some little laser robot deathmachine pets#mb can have knives if it wants#my art
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If you have only watched the Ouran High School Host Club anime I really cannot recommend reading the manga enough. There is (at least) twice as much plot as the anime has and it delivers so much more character and relationship development for every club member. You deserve to see more of them!
#id say ESPECIALLY if you really like honey and mori since they are so secondary in the anime#the manga goes hard with showing how much the others look to them for guidance and just how ridiculously perceptive honey especially is#and for kyotama fans its so fucking gay you cannot imagine. its. god#kyoyas attendants have synced up thoughts about how gay it is#just please read the manga yall deserve to know how much is out there#ohshc#ouran high school host club#moss does books#ecdysing
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It's mostly the fault of poor editorial practices that B&R is so heavily misaligned continuity-wise w/ the main batman book. But walk with me for a minute:
You are Damian Wayne. You are 14 years old and have had one of the worst years of your life last year. Which is saying a lot.
Your brother, one of the people you were closest to, got shot in the head and forgot who you were. Your best friend went to space for a week and came back 3/4 years older than you, taking away your previously established dynamic and leaving you to have to bond all over again w/ a new one. You may or may not have gone wayyy too far with your new superhero team, who now all hate you, because you fucked up big time*
And worst of all, when you do try to do the right thing, you end up forced to watch Alfred, a father figure to you, the only one at your birthday that year, the person who has been so patient, loving and trusting with you, even when you probably didnt deserve it...die. you watch him die, and feel it's all your fault.
And your dad never corrects you on that last point. So you run away.
First to your mom who can tell something's up with you, she knows you don't give up that easy, you decide not to stay with her because you remembered how actually, neither of your parents are good at communicating with you despite their best efforts, so now you're 14 and flying solo.
And you do fly solo. For a while. Make new friends, new enemies. You think you're better off for it. You've got your best friend and your brother back. They're not around as much. It's fine.
And eventually your dad tells you that it's not your fault that Alfred died. Bit late but it's appreciated. Really. There's a bit of a hiccup where you get possessed by a demon and wage war against your father but after that, all in all, you two are...together again.
You start to think maybe you want to give him another chance, for the two of you to be father and son.
And in a change of pace, it works out! It's going good, mostly. He insists you go to highschool, you resist, feel like he wants you to be something that you're not (wants you to be normal), but eventually you acquiesce for your own reasons. He cheers you on at soccer and nosies around at your fundraising events with the other parents and gives you a stern talking to about your choice of girlfriend. Because he cares.
Except all the while this is going on, your dad is currently having his brain slowly taken over by an evil version of himself that he created and every time you look away he's slowly tearing your family apart (your brothers are just barely keeping it together. The ones who didn't get lobotmized that is Jesus Christ). You keep taking his side in these conflicts, for whatever reason. Maybe because he promised it would be different this time, and it isn't** and you're going to stick with him until he keeps his word for once.
But at the end of the day?
It's like your brother says. You're not the one who saves him. Broadly speaking, you've made things worse and needed others to come save you. And what else is Robin really for? You thought it was about redemption and teamwork but guess you're wrong. It's about saving your self destructive, apparently two-faced and erratic father. And you can't even do that right.
* TT (2016) by Adam Glass is a racist ooc mess, but unfortunately it's still canon so I'm referencing here, though like a lot of works authors clearly wish weren't canon but are, it's been subsequently glossed over. Win? Maybe? Or not?
** again Zdarky's characterization of Damian is so outdated as to be ooc, and considering the way he constantly and explicitly uses it to illustrate Tim's strengths as robin, I'd argue there's. Also implications there. But the batshit insanity of the main batbook compared to B&R rn is crucial for this post, so I'm attempting to justify it. This time..
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#damian wayne#batman and robin#i know i already made an animatic of steph to tears over beers by modern baseball (you know the bit)#but this post has made me think of damian in this context. weeps#idk i read batman 138 for myself and the ways Zdarsky structures it to portray damian as inferior is just. AUGHH IT MAKES ME SICK#LEAVE MY BOY ALONE#the fact that josh williamson (not a perfect writer but i generally enjoy his stuff) had to single handedly save damian-#-after didio left the company and make him robin/a hero again#ONLY FOR THIS STILL TO BE HAPPENING THE MOMENT DAMIAN IS IN A NON JOSH WILLIAMSON BOOK#SICKENING#anyways. imagine if these titles connected and created a greater narrative besides building to event books. would be crazy huh?#that's not fair B&R is enjoyable in its own right and I'd rather have the main batman book touching less things to be frank#but still#if they ever do the theoretical tim/damian robins miniseries that lives in my brain maybe this could be discussed in some way#anyway <3
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misty quigley // the haunting of hill house, shirley jackson
#+ the following scene ... that's It. eleanor imagining theo and luke talking about her and feeling deep happiness.#only to realize there is no one there. and they have left her in the woods.#misty quigley#yellowjackets#edit*#web weaving#i haveeee to re-read the haunting of hill house.#but it genuinely scares me too much it needs to be an 8:30am commute book#i was sooo obsessed w it in high school i think i carried around a copy for like half of tenth grade
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IMAGINE!!! You’re a Princess from a neighbouring kingdom hand picked by the Midoriya dynasty to marry the young Prince Izuku. A man who has riches far beyond your own city, and it’s a marriage that could unite the two kingdoms to forge an even stronger bond.
Except, while you’re living in the castle and preparing for your marriage to Prince Deku— you end up falling for the King’s bodyguard, Bakugou Katsuki.
#like imagine him finding you in the library late and night when he’s patrolling#and telling you that you should be in bed!!#but you feel like the only person besides Deku who isn’t scared or intimidated by him#and you make him stay up late with you as you read him your favourite books#or tell stories to each other🥺🥺🥺#and he finds himself trying to avoid you because this is dangerous and if anyone found out the King would have his head#but Deku tells Bakugou to go with you while you go into town#to ‘protect you’#and he just finds himself falling even more in love with you
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